You're participating in the Miss International Queen pageant.
Please tell our audience how you feel.
I'm so nervous, but I'm so excited to take the throne today.
You're really sure about yourself?
-Yes. -Let me get one brush.
-Water? -No. Right here. One more touch.
All right. No problem.
Excuse me! Move aside, please! Move aside!
Large object coming through!
You found it.
Excuse me.
-Excuse me. -That's your chair.
I got a new hairdo…
SEIKO MATSUDA
You say I look so different
You're looking pretty bashful…
As you walk past me…
What are you doing? Hurry up. Let's go.
You heard your father. Go change.
Hmm… You stupid-head!
It's almost over, let him finish.
You're always hesitating…
It's like you're behind a wall…
Fresh, fresh, fresh!
Open the door to summer
And whisk me away somewhere
Fresh, fresh, fresh!
Summer's gonna Open the door
And take us just the way we are…
Man-woman!
You are so weird!
Okama!
Why are you all laughing?
I'm just singing a song that I really like.
Stop making fun of all my clothes.
KENJI ONISHI KIDS AMATEUR SINGING CONTEST
Run!
Okay, next!
Ready,
set…
A car passes by…
We are on separate streets…
We both think that you should ask him out.
What are you waiting for? Just do it.
I got a new bra yesterday. It's really cute.
-What color? -Pink.
-Pink looks so good on you. -Yeah.
You say you love me…
DEAR TAKESHI, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO POSITIVE
Are you serious?
FROM KENJI
TO TAKESHI
But everyone's watching me…
How could you do that to me?
Fresh, fresh, fresh!
It's the man-woman!
DROP DEAD, LADYBOY
-You're so weird. -He's an okama.
Look at that!
Hey, Kenji!
Why does everybody laugh at me?
I don't get it.
What the heck even am I?
What the hell am I?
Hey.
-You're drinking too much, Wada. -You're a doctor, remember?
A doctor, huh?
A guy like me?
Hey, didn't you quit the police hospital right after you signed up?
You're pretty odd for a skilled surgeon.
Hey! Did something happen?
All right, fine, I'll give you one…
Nothing happened.
It's just…
surgeons don't care about the patients they operate on.
All they care about is the surgery.
You people only care about
the body parts.
The meat.
So tell us. What's your plan now, Wada?
Cosmetic surgery, I heard.
Work for someone else.
It's true. You're right.
I can't save a single patient.
I just… I just make people look good. I'm a fake doctor.
Tell me.
What is a doctor?
And medicine?
-I bet I think about that more than you! -Whoa!
Hey, now!
-Oh! So much meat here. -Don't throw that!
There's so much meat to… cut up!
-Hey, get away! -I'm gonna kill you!
Oh, wow.
This place is so lively.
-It's so loud. -Is that right?
-Hey. -Hmm? What is it?
Can I, uh… skip school tomorrow?
My stomach hurts.
It's not gonna hurt tomorrow.
Should I rub your tummy?
Hmm?
Go to school. Skipping can become a habit.
-All right. -Mm.
What, where are you going? School?
The bathroom, stupid.
You should eat more. You hardly had any.
Shut up and die!
-Cry all you want! -Crybaby!
Come on! Show us! Still!
Do you have a dick or not?
-Yeah! -Stop squirming.
Look at all that makeup! Look at him! I can get these!
What's wrong?
Ma'am…
Can you… please help me?
I can't take it anymore.
Onishi.
I'm sure you must have some part in all of this.
Stop being so fragile.
Try to be more masculine, all right?
But I didn't do anything.
I was just being myself.
What am I?
Someone please help.
SHOW HOUSE JORDAN PUB
Clouds drifting by
You're part of me
Eagle up in the sky
You're part of me
Rainbow above
You're part of me…
It's my journey
My life and my love
If you know what I mean
If you know what mean, yeah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah, yeah-ah-ah
Clouds drifting way up high…
Hey, stop the music!
-Come on, Megumi. You gotta smile more. -All right.
-Jennifer, learn the choreography. -Yep.
Marumi, you are doing way too much.
-Okay. -All right, start from the top.
Who's this?
Who are you?
I just thought you were so beautiful.
But I… had a feeling you weren't a regular woman.
So I got curious.
You're sharp, kid.
Most people rarely ever notice that I have a dick.
I really…
My dream is to be an idol like Seiko.
What are you talking about?
Do you think I could come work here for you?
I want to be up on stage. I want to dance and I want to sing.
I've never…
experienced anything like it.
Ever since…
Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to wear pretty skirts,
but I had to wear pants because I was a boy.
Everybody in my class… calls me "okama."
They call me a man-woman.
It's been painful.
I started to think that I wasn't even human.
Stop with the tragic heroine victim act.
It's the same for all of us.
Everybody has their own sob story, a lot of them worse than yours.
You're not special.
And if you pretend you are, you've already lost.
I know it hurts but you'll be fine.
I'll show you the ropes.
-You mean that? -An okama always keeps their word.
Never mind. They don't always.
Listen. I'll make one thing very clear.
It doesn't matter how much you do here,
you'll never become a real woman.
Okay.
Instead, what you can become is what we call a "newhalf." Got it?
Thank you very much.
It's the top of the fourth inning,
and the Giants are up to bat.
Neither team has managed to score any runs…
We get more surprise tests than all the other classes.
It's unbearable.
So my friends… want to study at the library after school.
Study at the library?
Yeah, me and my friends want to study there.
Mm.
That's fine.
You're a man. Do it right.
I will.
Really? You've never studied in your life. Not that I know of.
You better shut up.
Mm.
Your kimpira is delicious, Mom.
Kenji, you're so dedicated.
Let's see.
Will my grandson be a doctor? A minister?
-Do your best. -That's impossible.
Hey now. Don't say that to him. He's trying as hard as he can.
I'm sorry, Grandma.
I don't think… I'm going to become a doctor or a minister.
I'm going to be a newhalf.
-Did you get another boob job? -Hah, You're just jealous of me, babe.
-Yeah, right. -I picked up my prescription yesterday--
Come on!
How many pills are you taking?
-Five a day. -What?!
-Five? Are you feeling okay? -That's a reaction.
-I'm throwing up every day. -I bet you are.
-That's awful. -But my boobs are growing. See?
Dream come true.
-You feel like a real woman. -It's worth it!
I get it, girl!
Oh yeah? Wow, this doesn't sound like you at all.
It may not look like it, but I get hormone shots
like a machine gun.
I still prefer my hormones from eating yakiniku rather than pills though.
Hormones, hormones, hormones!
Hormones, hormones, hormones, hormones!
Place this carefully backstage, then go to Aki's place.
Then… and then… um…
Hey, newbie.
Take this.
It's for our prescriptions.
Oh. O… okay.
I'm so pretty!
-Hey, what a cutie! -Oh, you're right.
Please enjoy Miss Yamashita Kumiko's
"Sekido Komachi Doki."
The crimson sun
She scorches, she burns…
Hey Miss! Wanna grab some tea?
Even the shimmering heat
Comes alive when she walks by…
With her prim little face
Her gaze…
Is the mirror image of summer
Tilting her chic sunglasses
Her eyes meet yours…
-Okay! -Ooh!
And she's got you Burning with nerves
She derails your train of thought
She's gonna set your fuse on fire…
Your jagged heart Might tear apart in a jagged way
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator…
Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
-Here you go. -Thank you!
Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
She's the belle of the equator
Love is the sweltering subtropics
She's the belle of the equator…
Whoo! Whoo!
Watch out for her burning embrace
My heart! It pounds!
Ba-dump! Ba-dump!
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC COSMETIC AND PLASTIC SURGERY
I already told you I'm fine with that!
I'll repeat myself again.
There's no point in messing with your eyes any further.
If anything, your eyes will stay as swollen as they are now.
Would you rather have pig eyelids or double eyelids?
I told you my whole story.
And that's all you have to say to me? Give me a better answer!
I'm giving you this advice for your own good!
Who did this work on your nose, anyway?
Sue them, get compensation, and then I'll try to fix it.
We're done here.
You're the worst ever!
I'll find a different doctor!
Think it over. They'll just take your money!
Great.
I'm sorry.
WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC PREMARIN - JORDAN PUB
We are so beautiful, don't you think?
That's a stupid question.
-It was rhetorical. -What?
I was talking to myself in the mirror.
You finally found someone who will listen to you?
You should try to be more like me.
-No, thanks. -Oh, please. This girl.
I swear.
I'm sorry.
I heard an uncomfortable conversation…
I got scared, so I left our card.
You bailed?
-Well, that doctor's kind of rude. -Okay, girl!
The dress is cute on you! Right?
Thank you very much!
-Mm-hmm. -You better enjoy it while you can.
Won't be long before you're bulging everywhere.
I was as thin as you are. Before.
The ones who bloom slowly at first tend to grow a lot later on.
-You grew way too much. -Who, me?
You know.
You said that!
What did you eat to get that big?
What's wrong, Kenji?
Do you feel sick?
I ate something bad.
I feel a lot better now.
-But you look pale. -I'll be fine.
Please get some rest. Good night.
Hey, kid. You've had way too much.
I'm not talking about alcohol. The pill.
It'll mess you up.
I'm sorry.
I'll be careful.
As long as you understand.
Lecture's over. Go on.
Wait, kid. Come back. I have more to say.
What is it?
Your debut. You've been selected.
Do you mean that?
"Ai." How about that?
Ai?
It's your new name.
Kenji never really suited you.
I want "Ai" to be truly loved, kid.
Ai.
Where's Kenji?
He's been coming home really late.
He even dropped out of high school. What's he thinking?
Ask him yourself if you're so worried.
Idiot. That's a mother's job.
Is this yours, Mom?
-Hmm? -I found it on the floor.
-I don't own anything this flashy. -What?
Well I guess…
No, no, no, not mine.
I would never.
Nope, I'm determined never to cheat on you. Yeah--
-Why would you say that? -Can't believe dad said that.
Will you all pardon me?
I know y'all want my balls!
What a weird place.
Single footsteps in the sand
A little free time to myself
I turn around
To a strange figure Off in the distance
He rushes toward me on the shore
Suddenly a chill runs down my back
It is the sweet premonition of love
Coming over me
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
With a touch of giddy
And beckoning us in
Our rendezvous
Is in slow motion
In my eyes
This vision of you
Can you tell me what you do for work?
I'm a doctor.
Amazing.
Hey. Hey, doctor.
How was my performance?
How was it?
It's just… today was my debut.
It was…
You shined so brightly.
Shining like a star.
You seemed so true to yourself.
It was like you were born to be on stage.
I'm a little drunk.
My mom made me a beautiful skirt to wear.
Really?
You actually wore it to the singing contest?
Yeah, and the boys were all laughing.
They called me "gross."
And said I was a weirdo.
Weird.
What?
Well,
I think
being weird means that nobody accepts you.
So if even one person accepts you… you're not weird.
That sounds cheesy.
I've never heard anything as nice as that.
Doctor, I kind of have a favor to ask you.
Okay, go ahead.
-I can't lend money, but something else-- -No, that's not it.
Cut my balls off.
Your balls?
Uh, you mean testicles.
Mm.
I looked it up.
I read that… male hormones are made there, aren't they?
Which would mean…
they're what makes me masculine.
If that's true… getting rid of them--
Will make you more feminine.
Will you?
Well, technically… it's not impossible.
But you're thinking about this too simply.
There's the Eugenic Protection Law.
Orchiectomies aren't common.
Doctors have been arrested for operating without permission.
Well I don't want you to get arrested.
I just kind of…
I always hoped that someday
those balls hanging from my body would fall off.
That's when I would become my true self.
But they haven't yet.
It's just that no matter how much time passes, they won't.
I'm even growing a beard now.
And my voice deepened.
I can't handle it.
I hate it.
I can't live like this.
It's awful.
Doctor.
Why are you here?
Obviously, I want to get a surgery consultation.
I just need a little more time, okay?
Doctor!
Doctor. The surgery.
You can't do this on whim! Understand?
This is the end of your treatment. You did a great job.
Wait. Doctor.
-You're releasing me as your patient? -Hmm. That's right.
You can't leave me like this.
Please fix it.
My face isn't done yet!
The surgery was a success.
You should be grateful that you survived.
Not like this.
I can't live like this! I can't!
Doctor, is there something wrong? You look so serious.
What does it mean
to save someone's life?
What?
No, never mind. I'm sorry.
Doctor.
Ai.
I'll do it.
I'll do your surgery.
You mean it?
Knowing you, you'll keep pestering me until I agree.
But there are conditions.
Conditions?
You're going to have to tell your parents, Ai.
Even if you can't tell them about the operation,
you must tell them about how you feel.
This is so sweet.
I'm so gonna… get hit.
-What? What'd ya do? -Nothing. Just keep eating, all right?
Something's going on. I don't know what.
Yum.
-Hey. -Hey.
Dad? Where's Mom?
Oh, she said she has a neighborhood meeting.
-Got it. -Mm.
Hey, um…
Can you go to that seat over there?
Why?
Can I order a cream anmitsu?
-Yeah. -All right!
What did you want to tell me? Hurry up, the race is about to start.
Okay. I'll say it quick then.
I uh…
Yes?
-This might kinda surprise you… -Uh-huh?
I, uh…
I want to live as a girl.
I know I was born a boy,
but I want to live as a girl from now on.
Do what you want.
You've already made your decision.
So do it.
Wait a sec.
Did you know already?
I am your father. No matter what.
I thought you'd be more… masculine if I made you play baseball.
I'm sorry.
Just promise me one thing.
What is it?
Never regret your decision, all right?
And take care of yourself.
If you're a man, then be the best man!
That's three things to promise, not one.
And…
I just told you I'm going to live as a girl.
-Huh?! -All right, fine.
I promise it all.
Oh and…
…don't tell… your mother about this.
I think it'll break her.
Are you having second thoughts?
No.
Except…
I feel bad for my mom.
She gave birth to a healthy baby.
We can stop.
Mm-mm.
I'll apologize to her someday.
Doctor.
Hmm?
I'm glad you said that you'd help.
There's no one else I would want here.
Why me?
Because of what you said.
Hmm.
That I shine like a star.
And that…
…made me really happy.
I want you to know something.
In my eyes, you're not weird.
I'm really glad to hear that.
I want to be…
Ai, the idol.
Like Seiko, who's my idol.
To be an idol of idols.
You'll be one.
Because you're you.
Oh, it's swollen like a balloon.
Even if you take the balls, the sack's still there.
-My God. It looks like that… -What?
-You know that… -What?
-I've got a picture of it. -What?
It doesn't look like anything.
-You wait. -What does it look like?
Where did I put that picture? Where is it? Where did I…
What's going on here?
Ai took out her balls.
-Get a good look, isn't this special? -Ha.
-Come here! -There you are.
Aw! It looks just like that… you girls know, that raccoon dog!
-That's what I thought! -Oh yeah!
This!
They look exactly the same!
No, wait! Please don't say that!
Ai.
How's it make you feel, huh?
How do I feel?
It's like I've been liberated!
Oh really?!
You said that!
Let's go out for drinks!
Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
-Go, Ai! Go, Ai! Go, Ai! -Yes, queen!
Dipping my feet in the icy fountain
Looking up at the skyscrapers
Wearing my favorite clothes
There's nothing wrong with that
Gripping the golden handlebars Racing through the town
Doing all these fun things
I want to see What it really looks like
And not just through an old TV screen…
The moment the needle drops
Is the moment my heart skips…
Doctor, you removed Ai's balls, right?
So you're the famous doctor who treats us "newhalfs."
All the Kansai okama, they're all coming here
because you're great!
Hold still. I need it to be aligned.
Even if I'm tired, hated, Or growing old, I just can't stop…
-Your hair! -You're so cute.
I could just butter you up and eat you!
They're like diamonds…
Every which way I look
I can't quite put it into words
But they are treasures
My hunch was right
It's exactly how I thought it would be
It's setting me in motion
-This feeling of mine -Oh! Oh!
It's your fault! You are guilty!
Oh, Doctor.
WHAT ABOUT NORMAL PATIENTS?
DIE
Why do people do this?
Our clients fight so hard just to survive.
A lot more than these jerks.
Excuse me. Are you with the clinic?
Yes, I am.
I'm Detective Tsuruku.
We've been getting a lot of complaints
about the noise coming from the lines at your clinic.
I guess… those unique people talk a lot.
I apologize.
I'll make sure we keep the noise down.
Appreciate it.
Isn't it tough to keep control of so many strange freaks?
Don't call them that.
Well then.
Ai, you're unbelievably cute, ya know.
-Takuya, you do know, right? -Huh?
I'm not… a normal kinda girl.
I don't care about that.
Ah!
I want you so bad right now.
Wanna live together?
-Mm-hmm. -Yes!
Really?!
-You promise? -Uh-huh.
Oh. I'm on. See you later, okay?
-Okay. -All right!
Mm.
I'm serious!
Sorry!
Ai.
Aki.
I'm just meddling here.
But all the men who mess with newhalf… always go back to women.
You should be prepared for that.
Well… I'll come visit.
Oh! I'll be lonely without you here.
He's not going abroad.
I know.
-Yeah. You better… come by sometimes. -You got it.
Hey! Aren't you coming out?
Kenji's leaving.
I'm a little busy.
-See you later. -Mm.
Take care. Mm.
Takuya!
-Her and me! -Ah!
It's a scandal!
Ha!
Nice!
-Yeah, I did! -A deadly game of love
A forbidden scandal
No matter how much I love you…
-Stop! -Come on, scaredy-cat!
Let's eat!
We kissed by the pool
And then you cried…
Oh, no. There's ketchup on your face.
-Do you want seconds? -Oh my God! Yeah!
I can't stop loving you
Even if it's forbidden
If only I could let you go
Then you wouldn't have to--
-Uh? -Hmm?
-Who's that? -You don't have to answer that.
Yes, I do.
-It's all right. -Coming!
Uh…
Hello?
Who is it?
-A ding-dong ditch? -Maybe a neighbor.
-We were loud, you know. -It's fine. Come on!
Come on and do what?
Make out, duh!
You know…
I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Me too, Takuya.
-Really? -Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Ai.
Can we… do it tonight?
What?
-I don't… -I'll be gentle.
-Trust me. -Huh? Wait, hold on.
No, wait.
-Takuya… -It'll be fine.
Stop.
-It didn't work last time, remember? -It's fine.
-Don't worry. -It won't go in!
Ow! It hurts!
I'm sorry.
Well, that kinda
killed the mood, huh?
It is what it is.
You are
who you are, Ai.
I'm going to sleep.
-Good work today. -You too.
You should go home.
Uh-huh.
What's wrong?
Dr. Wada.
Can you make me a woman?
A woman?
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't have that kind of relationship with her.
Ai?
It's not that simple.
This is much more difficult compared to just removing testicles.
You have to cut and invert the penis, then create a vagina.
You don't just remove it.
You have to maintain the excretory functions.
And the vagina needs to withstand intercourse.
It's like we're playing God here.
And…
There's a chance you might not wake from the anesthesia.
I wonder why I missed.
What?
I had a fifty percent chance, but I missed it.
If I were born a woman, I wouldn't feel like this.
I wanna gamble not waking up.
Just make me the woman I am.
Even if I might die.
DOCTORS WHO PERFORMED SEX CHANGE SURGERY
IN VIOLATION OF THE EUGENIC PREVENTION LAW
ARE TRANSSEXUAL ALLIES CRIMINALS?
FOUND GUILTY OF PERFORMING SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY
Excuse me, Doctor.
What do you plan to do?
Wow.
If you perform the surgery, you might lose your license.
You might even get arrested.
I want to do it for her if I can.
I don't have the confidence yet.
I don't know if I'm capable.
It's all coming To me now
I am a new me
As the vessel rushes on
The white waves dance in its wake
I made a promise with you
And I'm gonna keep it…
I'll place the urethra inside.
Natural lubrication could be possible.
The flower Of love in my heart
Will be accepted by you
The blue sky where the swallows fly
Is a canvas For our dreams of the future
Free lines, free colors
We'll paint it together
I was…
scared.
Why?
If I do operate,
you might die in the middle of surgery.
But I realized something.
You might live your whole life in a man's body.
And being trapped in that body could someday kill both your heart and soul.
I could possibly save you from that.
But I have to gather up the courage.
I have to ensure it will be a successful outcome.
Ai…
I'll…
I'll do it.
Doctor…
Let me save… your life…
your soul… and your heart.
I'd be honored to do it.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Thank you so much.
Are you okay Kenji?
You don't usually call.
Mom, you know that I…
What is it?
I uh…
I…forgot.
I can't remember what I wanted to say.
What's with you?
Is this a prank?
It's a prank call, you're right.
I'm hanging up now.
My kinpira will burn.
I love your kinpira.
I really do.
Make me some later?
It's just thrown together.
You really have no sense of taste.
I'm hanging up.
It's almost time.
Do you have any doubts?
Of course. A lot.
Ai… you were born in a man's body.
God just made a small mistake.
I'm going to fix that for you.
When you wake up,
you will finally be your true self.
Hey, Doctor.
Yes?
I want…
I wanna go back in time to tell my past self this…
"Everything is going to be okay."
"One day, you will become a woman. "
Okay. You ready?
I got a new
Hairdo
You say I look so different
You're looking…
Pretty bashful
As you walk past me
Show us!
Shut up and die!
It's the man-woman!
So weird!
Hey, Kenji…
Ai. It feels so good.
Takuya…
You were great.
You're really a woman.
What's wrong?
Tears of joy?
They're not.
Huh? They're not?
Did it hurt that bad?
Maybe I'm jealous.
Jealous?
What are you jealous of?
-Because, Takuya… -Yeah?
You looked like you were really feeling good.
It made me think, "He wants a girl."
"He prefers women's bodies."
I wondered
what if you actually didn't like me in my body before?
Ai, no way!
-Get that out of your head. -I know it's stupid.
But I can't help…
I can't help it if I'm jealous.
Women are very lucky.
They have bodies that men love without doing anything special.
Hey.
Hey, Ai. Did you not enjoy it… 'cause you're a woman?
You idiot.
I'm really happy now.
That's how I feel.
I'm really happy too… being with the real you, Ai.
Takuya…
Vitals?
Pulse is 80, blood pressure of 126-over-73 and breathing is stable.
Let's begin.
-Scalpel. -Scalpel.
I have performed many sex change operations,
but I believe that preventing adhesions after surgery is a major issue.
For example, in Thailand,
they form a hard candle and insert it into the vagina,
but it has little effect and is a burden on the patient.
In order to protect the patients' bodies,
I would like to use your silicone manufacturing technology.
I ask for your cooperation in the joint development
of a dilator to prevent the vagina from closing.
I believe that this is the key to opening this field's advancement.
Thank you all for your consideration.
Hey, my mom and dad are happy.
They've been bugging me to let them meet you, you know.
-Are you sure they want me there? -Yeah. They'll be glad I brought you.
I mean, it's not gonna be formal or anything.
-Hmm. -Relatives will be there with their kids.
That's when I was a kid!
Takuya's always been such a sensitive crybaby, hasn't he?
I wouldn't have guessed that. He hasn't shown me that side.
Come on. That's enough of that.
Oh yeah. I have plans with my friends.
-Hmm? -I'll be back.
-Mm-hmm. -You can chill here.
-Be safe. -Careful.
-All right, all right. See you later. -Bye-bye!
Bye.
This is delicious.
Oh-ho-ho! Thank you.
It's time.
You kids, go play outside for a bit.
Okay!
All right, let's go.
All right.
It's just…
Please, Ai…
break up with Takuya.
What?
You're wonderful. You're a really good person.
I love who you are.
You're beautiful and kind.
Except… you can't have children.
Sorry about this.
Takuya… loves children.
But if you and Takuya get married one day…
he'll have one less reason to smile.
I'm sorry.
Please, Ai.
-With handcuffs. -Where'd this happen?
-His sister's house. -Is her house a police station?
You said that, queen!
What's wrong?
Is it Takuya?
Can't hide anything from you, Aki.
Okama eyes are omnipresent you know.
What's going on?
I'll be fine.
This is something I have to do on my own.
Okay.
-Right? I said that! -You said that.
I want to make out! Long! Yeah!
Maybe you should call--
Ai speaking.
Kenji.
Where's Grandma?
She's in her room.
Kenji.
Grandma?
Grandma.
Grandma…
always asked how you were doing.
Oh, really?
Yeah, she really did.
She used to say this one thing.
What did she say?
That you were strong.
SEIKO MATSUDA IDOL BOOK
And that you should always live your life the way you want to.
-Hey. What does that mean? -Takuya, I just told you everything.
Why are you packing?
-You didn't tell me everything-- -I'm packing because we're done.
I'm going to Tokyo.
Hold on! What? Hey, wait!
Ai… Do you not love me anymore or what?
Takuya.
What we had was an immature mistake.
An immature mistake?
Goodbye.
Ai, wait! Hey!
You're just gonna leave like this?
When I'm all alone
I listen to my favorite song
Because Olivia
Comforts my lonely heart
My cup of jasmine tea
This sedative, lulling me to sleep
I want my day to end
The way I want it to tonight
When we first met
Never could I have imagined
A day like this would come
Making good things better
No, it's already done
It's just that time has passed
You are exhausted from loving
A phantom version of me
1998 TOKYO
I'll work very hard. I'll do anything!
You were a man before?
You're not right for our agency.
I can sing and I can dance.
We would welcome you, but you're not a woman.
Mm.
You'll never find anyone more motivated.
I like you a lot.
I'll introduce you to a good agency.
-Amazing! -Mm-hmm!
A sexy place. They eat up cuties like you there.
What?
There's plenty of customers with unique tastes. Hmm.
Really? That's great news!
I'm still asking around, though.
If it all works out, I can help people like you for much cheaper.
Awesome. You're doing so good.
What've you been up to?
How's Tokyo treating you?
It's treating me well. I've been getting so many jobs.
People in Tokyo don't scare me at all.
That's good to hear.
Oh, they need me. Sorry.
No worries. We'll talk soon.
Bye.
I'm not getting any jobs.
Who is it?
Who is it? A prank?
Mom?
Thank you.
I'm surprised to see you.
We're divorcing.
Your dad was cheating.
He was?
I couldn't take it anymore, so I left.
I've been reflecting on a lot of things.
Even though your dad should be the one doing that.
Are you… just here to tell me that?
You're our child.
I think you can understand.
You know how I feel
as a woman.
What?
You… you always… were a woman, yes?
You don't have to hide it from me. Not anymore.
I'm sorry.
I gave birth to you like that.
In the wrong body.
What are you saying?
Mom, it's not your fault.
All parents are responsible for their kids.
When your grandma passed away, my heart was crushed when I saw you.
You tried so hard to dress up like a man in that suit.
You tried so hard to kill your true self for so long.
I realized that I was the one who made you feel that way.
But I couldn't deal with it.
That's why…
I couldn't be around you at all.
I did that a lot actually.
I'd been turning away from you since you were little.
Have you always known?
I'm your mother. Of course I did.
All this time…
I thought you hated everything about me.
Of course not.
I even went to your apartment.
I wanted… to talk about everything.
I wanted to face you properly.
-Who's that? -You don't have to answer that.
Yes, I do.
Coming!
Hello?
Who is it?
-A ding-dong ditch? -Maybe a neighbor.
-We were loud, you know. -It's fine. Come on.
-Come on and do what? -Make out!
I couldn't give this to you then.
I know it's your favorite.
I'm sorry I was such a… awful mother.
I'm sorry.
Why are you sorry?
I'm the one who should…
who should be sorry.
I…
You went through so much to give birth to my body and I--
Don't apologize.
Whether you're a man… or a woman,
you will always be my child.
My beautiful, precious child.
Mom…
Do me a favor, will you, Ai?
It's a nostalgic pain…
What is it?
You called me… "Ai."
You didn't call me… "Kenji."
Will you… do my makeup?
Makeup?
Yes, Ai. I came to see you… when you performed at the club.
You did?
Yes, I did.
You were so cute in your makeup.
I am so proud of you.
I admired you.
Ai, I think that you're beautiful.
Why must the dreams Lost to time
Always appear so beautiful?
That affection
Of the past is still
A sweet memory
Sweet memories
The files for tomorrow's counseling.
Oh. Thank you.
Doctor, aren't you tired?
You must be too.
Oh, I'm sorry, we're--
It seems like you're going all out with this thing, huh?
What do you mean?
With all those okama.
Listen, if you just mess with them a little, it's not a big deal.
You're doing too much.
How many dicks have you cut off this month, huh?
-Please be careful with your words. -Apologies.
It slipped.
As far as we are concerned, Wada,
we're not going to drop this.
This is a legitimate medical procedure to save our patients.
That's not something that's up to you to decide.
It's up to the state.
What?! You used to be a man?
Don't you think that maybe it would be better to hide that in this business?
I want to be an idol. And I want to do things honestly.
Mm-hmm.
I like your spunk. We're happy to bring you on.
Mark my words. You'll be working a lot!
Thank you very much!
Oh, how cute!
Hi, all!
I just love seeing every one of you here today!
I'll introduce myself.
I'm Ai, and I'm here from Osaka, now in Tokyo.
And I'm doing my best!
MATSUZAKAYA FREE CHARITY MUSIC FESTIVAL
I wanna do something fun!
What is this?!
I'm not wearing this.
I don't know what to tell you.
I cleared it with your agency.
An okama doesn't get embarrassed. Just wear it.
BOYS OVER BALLS
It's taking forever.
What the hell am I?
Doctor, I need you. Doctor!
What's wrong?
Doctor! It's a code blue!
Step aside.
-Open the IV. Defib. Epinephrine. -Can you hear me? I'm here.
Okay!
Can you hear me? I don't feel a pulse.
-Is the defib ready yet? -Almost! I'm starting the ambu bag.
Can you explain all of this?
Medical terms are so difficult to understand for the average person.
I don't get 'em.
Tell me why… an okama you were operating on
suddenly died during a procedure you perform a lot?
We haven't determined the cause of death quite yet.
Oh…
If I had to guess,
it was a complication called ARDS from the anesthesia.
The cause of ARDS is often unknown, so there's no way to prevent it.
Wada… are you telling me that it's not your fault?
What I'm telling you is that that is my best guess.
As of now, that's the best I can do for my deceased patient.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
By the way, doctor,
I've been… wondering about something.
Why would you befriend those people?
Are you into that sort of thing too?
Or maybe…
You get your rocks off with this kind of stuff, hmm?
You like cutting off men's dicks?
Not speaking now?
I've got all day for this.
ANGEL NEST
Sangen-jaya? Wow. Isn't that expensive?
I heard it's great there. There's a lot of them.
So it's different from where you live!
I mean it. What are you laughing about?
By the way, Ai, this place is nice. It's really cute here, I like it.
I was asked to work here.
I'm only part-time because I'm busy in entertainment.
That's good. Things are going well.
Tokyo has been really great.
All right.
I have something I want to show you, Ai.
-Hmm? -It's this.
-Ah. -Go ahead. Look.
-Miss International… Queen? -Yep. Uh-huh.
They decide who's the most beautiful trans woman in the world.
Ai. You're adorable. You should enter.
-Right? -She Should!
-I'm interested, but I'm kinda busy. -Then I'll enter!
-I will represent Japan! -No, please. You can't!
Japan will sink.
Hey girl, what did you just say to me?!
You said that, queen!
Not again! She's been saying that forever.
Ai, did you hear about Dr. Wada?
Hear what?
Someone died during one of his operations.
Are you serious?
People have been saying it wasn't Dr. Wada's fault,
so it should be fine.
Mm-hmm.
-Girl, your bubbles are flat. -You made them flat!
Oh, no.
-He's here! -Dr. Wada's here!
Dr. Wada!
What do you think about sex change surgery?
We need to know! People need to know about it!
-Dr. Wada! -Excuse me.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Who knows when we'll open with all this going on.
Doctor, here.
-What? -The list of patients who want surgery.
It's increased since the beginning of this month.
This many?
Yes.
THANK YOU, DR. WADA
I'M GOING TO SHINE BRIGHT FROM AI
Is everyone well?
You are? I wonder why.
Hey, guess what?
That's right. I finally made it to Nagoya.
Thank you.
I go on tour each and every summer,
but I was a little late this year, and now we're in chilly November.
It's so cold, so, like, the only thing to do now is to warm ourselves back up.
-Isn't that right? -Hey there.
-Ah! Sorry about that! -It's been a while.
Aw, I'm so happy you came!
So am I. What were you lip-synching for?
Were you practicing? Kyon Kyon, huh?
-Yeah. -You remembered it perfectly.
I memorized it because it was on every day.
Wow, you memorized it like a pro.
Oh! You should do it as a bit. It'd be funny if you did other people too.
Who, me?
It'd be funny. I'd laugh.
Oh! You're gonna be an idol, so you don't need to be funny or anything.
Sorry if I said something unnecessary. I forgot.
Hmm. What should I have?
Now then. Shall we get started today?
What is it?
This time would be better used for surgeries.
You just want to make me the bad guy, don't you?
Without even proper investigation,
you're trying to make the cause of death an overdose of anesthesia
because it's the most obvious.
I'm really shocked.
Do you actually think of us that way?
You know what?
I've finally realized something.
Go on.
It's not doctors who save patients.
It's the opposite.
Doctors are being kept alive by the power of the patients' desire to live.
Right.
As a way to say thanks,
we take our jobs seriously and try to reduce patients' suffering,
even if only a little.
Simply curing illnesses and injuries isn't what saves them from suffering.
It's something far more important than that.
Doctors face each and every patient
and do our best to support them in every way!
That's the sole reason doctors exist as a profession!
Doctors and medical care… have always existed
since the birth of humanity.
Long before countries and laws came to be created.
And that is exactly why we will always be the winners in the end.
It's impossible.
I can't become an idol.
But I really wanted it.
Doctor.
I had some business in Tokyo.
Are you all right?
The clinic had an accident.
Hmm.
How about you?
Are you doing okay?
Of course I am. Everything's amazing.
That's great.
You made the right decision.
You're shining in Tokyo, too, then.
I'm not shining at all.
I think my light may have burned out.
I've been struggling…
since I came to Tokyo.
What am I doing with my life?
You know, Ai…
you're the one who led me on my path.
The orchiectomy.
The sex change surgery.
I'm on my path because you shined your light on it.
Although…
your path has only led you here.
You know, I…
I caused the death…
of a precious patient
who put their trust in me.
Were we doing the right thing? Or the wrong thing?
The right thing Doctor! Absolutely!
None of it was wrong.
Neither of us made any mistakes!
You have to keep going, Doctor.
I can still do more.
I'm gonna do more and more and more until I die!
We can shine.
I'm leaving.
I'm sorry for getting sentimental.
I've decided to resume the surgeries tomorrow.
That's why I wanted to see you.
Bye.
It's over there.
Here.
-Clip it. -Okay.
I still have a long way to go.
So if you look from the side like this,
you can see how they built things up one by one.
Like this.
And, you know, all those people are standing tall,
And they are so amazing, and well,
what I'm doing is just placing some things somewhere out on the ground.
It's so low, you can't see the shape of it.
And you might start to wonder what I'm doing. But…
"NEWHALF" FOUND DECEASED
IN A BOTCHED UNDERGROUND SEX CHANGE SURGERY
-Let's do it. -Let's go home.
You're just stressed because you're left-handed.
"Because you're left-handed?"
My right elbow is stressing you out?
-Who's gonna die? Not me. -Scary.
Yeah, you.
-Ah! -I'm not scared of whatever you're--
Hi, may I help you?
Hey, who is this? What? You're on your way here?
-What? What? -I'm so excited!
Yes! I can't wait till you get here!
-What are you excited about? -Who's coming?
Listen up.
Get presentable, everyone.
A famous idol is coming here!
-Huh? -What?
I'm sure she'll be arriving any minute now.
-I don't think so. Whoa. -Who is she?
-I wasn't told. Were you? -You're excited.
-Idol… -What?
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
Which do you prefer?
I can't decide!
Because I am A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you…
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Yeah!
Hello, Tokyo.
It is I. Aya Matsuura!
-She's Ayaya! -I got it, I got it.
The idol, yeah.
This morning…
I think…
I woke up at 9:00.
So I went to wash up.
I have my toothpaste,
and next to the toothpaste
is my face cleanser.
I grabbed the tube
and started washing my face.
And I thought to myself…
Yo, this cleanser feels different.
-Her face! -Her face is funny.
And that's when it dawned on me.
Oopsie! Wrong one.
"Yeah! It's a holiday!"
Yeah! It's a holiday!
That's my joyful wish this summer
Yeah! Jump into summertime
I wanna fall in love…
Yeah!
Ai! Ai!
Come here!
Why are you doing this if you want to be an idol?
-I've been thinking. -Yeah?
I should only do what I can do, right?
That's cool, I love it.
It wasn't only cool, it was amazing! Oh! Can I pitch you to my boss for a show?
I think you're gonna be a sensation!
-Oh my God! -I'm not lying!
I'm for real!
I can't decide! Sexy? Cute?
Which do you prefer?
I can't decide! I wanna catch your eye
Because I am A purehearted fair maiden
Because I love you…
She's the next big thing.
Yes, definitely. The next big thing.
"Yeah! It's a holiday!"
Yeah! It's a holiday!
That's my joyful wish this summer…
Yeah! Jump into summertime…
-I wanna fall in love… -She's a hit.
-She's hilarious. Never would've thought. -Welcome!
Nice to meet you. Please welcome our special guest today, Haruna Ai!
Good evening. I'm Haruna Ai.
-It's so nice to meet you all! -Nice to meet you!
Wow. You are so cute.
-Really? -I would date you in a second.
She was actually born a boy.
Oh, you're an okama. Never mind then.
Oh, you said that!
-You really can't tell. -She's great.
If you didn't know, you'd think she was born a woman.
Yeah, I might just follow a guy like you home.
-Well, well, well. -No, I changed my mind.
There you go again! You just said you liked me. He's just shy.
There must a be a lot going on…
TO TENMA WEST POLICE
OFFICIAL OPINION WADA PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC
REGARDING THE CAUSE OF DEATH, IT IS MY OFFICIAL OPINION THAT…
I DID WHAT I COULD.
IF I AM TO BE TRIED FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SAVE A LIFE…
There we go.
Another mess.
Morning.
Time to wake up.
Doctor?
Wow, wow, wow!
You know, Ai, you were amazing tonight.
Another huge laugh after last week.
It's exciting.
Everyone is loving your act, Ai.
Not just the audience.
I think that you've won the production's hearts as well!
-Yes! -All thanks to you, Ms. Fuji, and you.
You're the best, Ai. Can't wait to see what else you bring.
-I'm looking forward to it. -So am I.
-Great work. See you next week! -Thanks so much!
-See you next week! -Have a good night.
-Thank you! -Thanks so much!
Ai speaking.
Hello. This is Kiyomiya from Wada Clinic.
Hi! It's been a while.
DR. KOJI WADA HAS PASSED AWAY.
THE CLINIC IS CLOSED.
DR. WADA
My girls and I,
we're all in shock too.
Things must have been exhausting after that incident.
Poor guy.
He didn't even have a lawyer to defend him.
He wanted to tell the truth himself.
In the end…
…charges were filed for what they said was improper use of anesthesia.
It's unfortunate.
There were still a lot of patients waiting for him.
So he was doing these surgeries without even sleeping.
He was so tired.
But he couldn't sleep a wink.
He started using anesthesia to fall asleep.
I guess he got the dosage wrong.
He made a lot of women cry.
What a bad man.
Aki.
Dr. Wada visited my bar after the accident.
I told him that we weren't a mistake.
I told him that we could shine even brighter.
I really wanted to show the doctor…
how much brighter I could shine.
-But he already saw you shine-- -Not how I wanted!
This isn't all I have.
I don't want to stop halfway.
I want to go all the way.
I'm gonna put my all into shining brighter.
Do you think Wada will know?
Absolutely, he will.
I bet his eyes'll be wide open watching from the other side.
He's gonna get dry eyes. All 'cause of Ai.
What a wonderful evening it's been.
So many smiles, so much passion,
and incredible stories from around the world.
Each one reminds us true beauty shines in so many ways.
-No. -And we celebrate them all.
-Next, representing Japan. -We made it.
She lights up every heart with her warmth and joyful spirit.
Please welcome Haruna Ai!
I got a new hairdo
You say I look so different
You're looking pretty bashful
As you're walking past me
-I wish you had told me -Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh
You think I look pretty
You're always hesitating
It's like you're behind a veil…
Ai!
Fresh, fresh, fresh!
Open up that door To summer
And whisk me away somewhere
Fresh, fresh, fresh!
Summer's gonna Open the door
And take us just the way we are…
KOJI WADA 1953-2007
Doctor,
are you impressed?
I'm the best in the world.
But you're beyond this world.
You'll always be more amazing than me, though.
You've performed over 600 surgeries.
That's the most impressive thing ever.
It all started with me, huh?
My operations.
I was your first patient for both.
Guess what?
I'll always hold that in my heart.
Will you watch me shine?
I'm gonna sing
and I'm gonna dance.
Watch me, okay?
This performance is for you.
You let me shine.
Thank you, Doctor.
You're the reason that I…
If I hadn't met you…
Thank you.
Goodbye, sweet pain
Those nights spent With my chin in my hands
Ended yesterday
I want to make sure
That we met meant something
So I open my eyes in the darkness
Footsteps race Along the emergency stairs
I want them to echo
In a world that's fast asleep
A motorbike abandoned in a vacant lot
Graffiti on the wall
I look up to it all…
Ai!
True grief
Can only be healed from within
I'm beginning To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
My tears, my dreams
Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
My fears, my dreams
I set them free
Feel my heartache
I'm surrounded by smiles
But the lonely nights are hard
I want to share it
The words scribbled In the margins of my textbook
Are coming to life…
DR. KOJI WADA OFFERED
AFFORDABLE GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE WITH GREAT DEDICATION
TO MANY PEOPLE EXPERIENCING GENDER DYSPHORIA.
HE PERFORMED OVER 600 OPERATIONS THROUGHOUT HIS LIFETIME.
There is a strength to being alone
And I don't want to lose it In the throngs of this city
I'd like to keep seeking my revolution
I'm gonna make tomorrow different
I want someone to understand
My tears, my dreams
Right away
This is how I live my life
Nobody can tell me how to live it
I want to watch it with you
My fears, my dreams
I want To hold them tight
I'm beginning To understand my revolution
I'm gonna shake things up for tomorrow
I want someone to understand
My tears, my dreams
Right away
If you're gonna chase your dreams
You can't just go bursting into tears
This is what you taught me
My fears, my dreams
I set them free
Subtitle Translation by: Rychelle Brittain