Is this your first experience… getting the prostate examination?
Precisely.
Why didn't you do it before this date?
I don't know.
I'll tell you why.
Because you think you're young.
I'm only 50. And that's still sort of young, I think.
Well, my good Italian friend. Today is the big day. Your adulthood starts now!
And it starts with a finger up my ass? Amazing.
And there will be a lot more.
Doctor I… I don't think I'm ready.
May I choose the finger?
This man is my father. Father… Well, we better not go there.
Now, to you, he may look fragile, scared… He's sweet, isn't he? Well, just
a month ago, he was very, very different.
Wanna know what he was like? Okay, Doctor. Stop! Let's go back a moment.
Is there anyone who wants to work here?
I don't work Because if I worked
I would get tired for sure And I wouldn't fall in love, no
I don't work Because you only live once
And sweating in the morning Is not worth it
Let's dance!
Swear to me, my love, that in the morning You won't wake me up before one
Baby, my love, you have to swear That I will never work in my life
Love me, love me, love me
Pay me, pay me, pay me
Yes, yes, put those there. The big braziers go in the garden instead.
Good morning.
Oh!
Alright. Come on!
Nice to meet you. Um, Elizabeth Albridge from "People's Mosaic".
Zalone. Excuse the commotion.
Um, what are they doing?
Next month's my 50th birthday, so I'm preparing a little party for a few
close friends.
Excuse me, sir. Just confirmed the 800 invitations. Have you seen the Tutankhamun Pyramid?
Tutankhamen? That's for the poor servants of Tutankhamen, Maurice.
Let's do something that'll stand out in history, okay?
First team, tear it down!
As you were saying…
Um, I wanted to thank you. Um, I'm writing an article on the new… Uh… How
do you say it? Playboy Italian millionaires?
That sums it up.
Many have refused, but you've been so generous.
Well, look. It's always nice to show wealth to people who can't afford it.
It lets them dream, right? Come on. Dream with me.
For the last time the throne needs to be there.
So… Um. Mhm… I've been gathering some information
-about you. -Ah yeah? What did they say?
Self-centered person. Uh… eccentric. Kind of egocentric.
Maybe, but people often talk without knowing anything.
Um, do you live here in Sardinia?
Kinda, sorta.
Sometimes Rome, Milan… I have a home pretty much everywhere,
Ah.
Ah, well, I see other than the love for yourself, there's another
great love of your life.
My prized possession, the most sentimental… everything to me.
Here comes the tears, because let's face it. Who doesn't love a Ferrari?
I have six. If you want, I'll show you.
No. The picture, it's… your daughter?
Hey! Who put these pictures here? Yeah, yeah. That's my daughter.
-Um, what's her name? -Cristal.
-Ah… Crystal. How sweet… -No. Cristal, like the champagne.
-Um… -Um, is she here today?
No. Cristal lives with her mom.
Oh! Um, Linda Restelli? The model you were… uh… married to, right?
Restelli. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Precisely. And I left her, that's important to add. Be sure to write
-that down. -Oh, okay, uh…
And, how come you decided to leave a model that was so beautiful?
Ah, I upgraded. Got a new model of the model. Even more beautiful. Come on,
I'll show you.
Sugar buns! I'm doing an interview. This is Martina.
Hi, nice to meet you.
My pleasure. May I?
Please, please, sit.
Sit down, sit down. You have a few questions, don't you? Ask her
-anything. -Um…
Um, how old are you? You look quite young.
Twenty-five.
And where are you from, Martina?
I'm from Mexico City.
Uh, but she never mentions which part. She's a bit reserved.
Yeah… Um, but tell me… A rich 50-year-old man like you dating a beautiful
Mexican model that's quite young. Aren't you a bit embarrassed?
Well, look. For me, origin has never been a problem. Never.
She could've been Bolivian, Argentinean, but I'd pick anyone… like her. Are you
racist by any chance? No, she has a residency visa. But we reside mostly
in the bedroom.
-Um. But, no. I'm sorry. How long's -It's a sexy joke, you get it?
The, um, relationship between you two been going on?
-Today happens to be one year. -Today? What do you mean, today?
Yes, today. I was at least expecting flowers.
Quite foolish of me. How can I make it up to you? How can I fix this?
It's true love It's pure love
Like a diamond Like a sapphire
Like the gold bars
I keep safe in Switzerland
It's true love Sincere love
That doesn't care about money
Swear to me, sweet fairy
It's only love If you slept with me
This place is really beautiful.
Yes, maybe the villa is a bit small. I have bigger ones, but I'm very fond of
this one.
Listen. What exactly is the source of all this wealth?
It doesn't fall from the sky, that's for sure. Write that.
Everything I possess… is a result of 60 years of… uh… sacrifice and hard
work.
I thought you're turning 50…
No, my father. Not me. God forbid, I work hard. Come on. I'll introduce you
to him.
Papà Eugenio. The Knight of Labor.
He's worked every single day of his life.
Papà even worked the very day my mother died.
Imagine, a small upholsterer from Southern Italy who sets up
the first small sofa factory in the north.
Then, the big plant in Brianza. We got our stock market listing. But
now, stroke.
Oh, poor thing.
Papà! I'm here with a journalist. She's American.
You should be happy. I'm showing her the wealth. Isn't that good?
You… you… you… you…
You… you… you… You can't understand him. It affects the language hemisphere.
You… you… you… "You" might mean: "You are my pet." "You are my love." Who knows?
You… you… you… you…
Doctor. Tell me, might he ever talk again?
Hard to say. He's sadly unmotivated.
Papà! Life is beautiful. Live a big beautiful life, papà!
I don't work Because if I worked
I would get tired for sure And I wouldn't fall in love
Let's dance!
Comrades, forward The great party
Of workers That's what we are
And now what will you do together?
So we will travel around all five of the continents. Then we'll go back to
Sardinia to celebrate my love.
-I'm fine with everything, but why -Yeah! Yeah!
Only five continents?
Let's do them all, yeah?
Let's do it. Let's do it.
What, are we running short on gas?
It's true. He's not short on anything.
-He's got money, villas, cars, boats, -Excuse me, sir. It's your ex-wife.
Beautiful women.
He really has everything.
Linda? I'm in the middle of an interview. Call me back a little later?
Actually, no.
He's missing something.
And the last time you saw her was when?
Yesterday morning.
Mh-hm. Yes. And we found her cellphone in the drawer.
Did you check her social media profiles?
Everything was deleted.
It was about time. Social propaganda outlets posing as democracy.
Okay. What's happening here?
What's happening is, Cristal is missing.
Did we carefully check the house? 500 square meters isn't a lot.
Who is this guy?
The owner of the property and the girl's father, as well.
Oh. But aren't you her father?
No. Tarek is my companion living with me. He's the father.
So-called "father".
No. Speak louder, Star Trek.
Cristal. Her surname?
-Za… -Zalone. Zalone.
-And a minor, is that so? -Yes, mi…
A minor, yeah. A minor.
Date of birth?
Please. Let's be polite and talk one
-at a time. No. Continue, continue. Yes, -No, no. Please. My place isn't to
-carry on. -intrude. You say it. I wouldn't dare.
I'll try. So… Um… So it was the year when Palma Noir opened in Ibiza. Somewhere
between 2007 and 2008. It wasn't summer yet.
15th of April 2008.
April. It was April, I helped.
It was easy, right?
What kind of girl was Cristal?
Well, she's a victim of a societal competitive alienation that consigns
every individual to their existential loneliness.
Do you understand why my daughter ran away? Try to listen to this guy
every day.
Ms. Restelli, could I have some recent photos of Cristal?
-Of course, come with me. -Do we have them?
-Excuse me? But… your ex-wife is -Mh-hm?
Linda Restelli? The model?
You recognize her despite her collapse?
Here, check her out. Look.
Oh…
Man, she really changed.
But enough with fashion. Now I do theater research.
Theater research? She's searching for a theater. Nobody wants her,
she's a dog. Don't go see her, yeah?
What does he do?
The fuck should I know? He's a screenwriter, director…
Original guy.
Original. Very original. Look, he's the only Palestinian who occupies
a territory. Gaza. Mi Gaza tu Gaza, here.
Mh-hm.
Good. Now we can start searching.
Yes, but we're exaggerating. Too much alarmism. My daughter will be back
tonight.
We're not exaggerating. Do you know what Corina did?
Who is this now?
Cristal's best friend, Corina! She jumped off her balcony. That one! You got it?
The chunky one? You gotta be kidding me!
It's your fault!
Mine?
And people like you who say "chunky". Those who use abusive stigmatizing
verbiage brimming with disdain.
And fortunately, Corina survived.
Because she's chunky. She must've bounced. Right, Marshal? Maybe if
she was skinny, she might've snapped, eh?
But have you heard from this Corina? How well does she know Cristal?
She doesn't answer the phone.
Um… First off, let's do this. In uniform, we might scare her.
-I'll go to Corina. -No, no, no, no. I'll go. I'm her father.
Do you even know where Corina lives?
You can come with me.
Move it.
Excuse me. Can we keep the news a little private? You know, for my job,
-I'd rather people didn't know about that. -Mmh yes.
She's an actress. Otherwise, my daughter won't come back home.
Can we move it?
Two hours. No way.
I'm telling you. You must be delicate with Corina. She's in
therapy now for her acute eating disorder. There she is.
Corina! Hi. Can you come down?
Take the stairs, Corina. A little more precise with the kid, huh?
When she comes down, let me talk to her, okay?
Yes, but make yourself clear. Cut the high-brow fancy shit.
I swear.
-Okay. Mh-hm. -Bye.
Well? Nothing?
She doesn't know anything.
How can she not know anything about my daughter?
You don't know anything about Cristal! Not her life. Or her fragility. Nothing!
You only believe in the thaumaturgic power of your wealth. You don't
know what it means to raise a daughter.
No, I don't know what thaumaturgic is. Is that what you said to her? She got
annoyed. Yeah.
Look, you'll never find her anyway. I'll look on my own.
Oh, yeah? Hey, I won't find her? Hey, Star Trek! I'll find her, Star
Trek!
-Fuck off, already! -You don't know what a traumaturd can do.
And last night, I gave her a new ID and a new phone with a sim card.
Good.
Who's the guy in the Ferrari?
Cristal's father. He's a dickhead.
Hey, watch out. I think that dickhead's coming over here.
-God, no. -Hey, Corina!
Corina? Can I talk to you for a second?
Talk about what?
I mean, in private, though?
-Good evening, Mr. Zalone. Please. -Here you go.
Come, come, Corina.
Have you really never been to this three-star restaurant?
Look. I've been to all of them, but I must've missed this one.
Oh, that's a shame because… Martin Ruggeri, the chef, is extraordinary.
He revisits classic Roman kitchens for inspiration. Please, please…
Sophisticated. Go on, look.
Gricia with seven peppers, with Sienese cinta foam, and smoked Amatrice
guanciale.
I know.
And for you, tonight.
Kombu seaweed on a bed of chickpea hummus
I chose a light plate for you, okay?
If you want, I'll bring out a taste of gricia for you.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She needs to follow a rigid diet. It's very
strict. Right, Corina?
Uh…
What do you want from me? I haven't seen Cristal.
Nothing, Corina. I just want to meet my daughter's best friend. Okay… We, as
parents, are often so busy with work…
You sit around all day, partying. The fuck are you talking about?
All right. So… my daughter told you fun facts about me. That really fills my
heart with joy.
Mhm.
Listen, where are you from?
From Moldova.
Moldova. Well, then I'm sure you suffered from famine, in your region?
Pretty much starving here, too.
Look, this is unrivaled. Braised oxtail stew with Château-du-Pape. But yours
looks better. Listen, Corina. May… mh-hm… You might've forgotten where
Cristal told you she's gone…
No. For the love of God, she told me nothing!
Shh! Hey, calm down. Stop yelling. What are you all upset over?
Because I'm fucking hungry, dude!
Excuse me, she's sorry. Come on, finish your dinner.
You know, Corina. I'm really happy for my daughter, because she can count on
a really loyal friend. I mean, someone else would have told me
where she went.
Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port
-Where? -Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port.
I'm in France, in Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port, the town
where the French Camino of Santiago starts.
And this, is where you get the credential for the Camino.
Hi, welcome. Here, come on.
Come in.
-Italian? -Yes, Italian.
Can I see your ID?
-It's your birthday today? -Yeah.
This picture makes you look young.
Mh-hm. Yeah, I get that a lot.
Annette?
Problem?
An 18-year-old.
What luck!
So, these credentials need to be stamped in every town along the Camino.
-"Buen Camino". -Yes, thanks.
Good morning.
Okay, let's begin!
Ah!
These signs, with the shell and the arrow, will be all
along the Camino and show the way to Santiago.
The first part might be difficult. Something like, 25 kilometers.
First, I'll climb the Pyrenees up to 1,500 meters, before arriving in
Spain.
We begin at this arch.
And this… is my first step…
Oh! You called me just as I'm about to take the first big step on the
-Camino. -Cristal. Your father came by last night.
You didn't say anything, did you?
-Corina, you bitch! -Hey, watch out.
Cristal! Cristal! Cristal!
Stupid… arrogant… ignorant… asshole. Oh, but I'll be the one to find Cristal.
Tarek, Tarek!
Checco found Cristal!
-Really? -Yes!
Where are they?
He said you know everything about Cristal and that you'll find her.
Cristal definitely needs to come home. She can't stay with that… It would
be a fate worse than hell for her!
Yes.
Oh, sweet Lord. Our savior. Heavenly Father, let the angels take care of
your servants May no enemy attack you on your way.
God dammit, Jesus Christ. What were you thinking, Cristal?
The walk may be difficult and the enemy will try to attack their will,
but we know you only give the hardest battles to your strongest soldiers.
What's making you do this, Cristal?
Oh, but, who are these people?
Lord, may their feet stay strong and their courage not sway. Let each
step be encouragement for the next.
What do you think you're doing among them? Everyone here's dressed so
Who are they? unpresentably? Huh?
May the Father guide us to look within self.
Not responding. Excuse me, who are you?
We're pilgrims, we're here to receive our blessings.
Make us see through His eyes. What we men, not see ourselves. Send angels
to carry us when we are weary.
Listen here, Cristal. We have to go home because, tomorrow morning, your father,
at six o'clock punctually, has to be on the boat.
For no man is an island, we all must connect with another, because not
even your son did it alone.
Oh, no? Alright then, since you're not doing that, that just means I won't
-Hallelujah, praise be onto your name. -It was a whole lotta money.
-Give you this gift. -I'm good with my backpack, so, no.
That's so sad.
They'll be in your mercy. And just as
-they walk, they'll be at your feet. -That's so sad. See what these young kids
are like these days?
Have people totally lost their values?
Just think, I had to bother a minister. Just to get this one, right here.
Lead them, oh Lord. Lead them my faith, lead them not my sight, but lead
them, oh Lord. One word…
-Allow me to do something for you. -is as strong as the mighty staff.
Outside, there's a Ferrari. It's the Portofino. So amazing, it's true.
It's yours, okay? When you get your permit, it's yours.
The humble carpenter and the faithful shepherd both walk in the army
of the Lord. With their feet as their guides, and you as their map.
I want you out. I'm doing the Camino.
So, tell me. Where do you feel like going?
To the Cathedral of Santiago.
-Okay. We go first to the cathedral. -Even the lowly fool has a place at your
--Cristal. -From there, straight to your mother,
Excuse me. Might be difficult to go home tonight, you see.
Why?
It's 800 kilometers away.
What?
But in a month, you can go home.
No, no, no, no, no. Excuse me, Father Depardieu. No, no, no. I'm sorry,
but these aren't pilgrims.
Seems like a psychiatric ward. But, for my daughter… mmh, my… Cristal!
She's gone! Cristal!
So, Cristal, what have we decided? Wanna get in? It's been like three hours of
walking. My arms are pretty tired, Cristal. Don't you have pity for your
father? Hey? So, you are very insensitive. I'm sorry but
it's true, I must tell you.
-Will you move aside? -This guy…
Bro, you can't do the Camino of Santiago in a Ferrari.
This is the Camino of Maranello. Comfortable and mellow.
Cristal!
Look, we made it. My feet were really starting to bother me. They say if
you can make it to this first stretch, you're good. I never imagined it
would be so big…
Look what I've had to do today, look.
This is the Virgin of Biakorri. The virgin of Shepherds and Pilgrims.
She accompanies poor travelers, on the Camino.
But, for rich pilgrims like us, we must return home. She says: "Why are
you among the poor? Don't you have it all?"
Where is the lie? We don't want to lie to the Virgin. She knows all about
my money. The Virgin is a Yellow Flame, did you know that? Cristal,
let's go. Get in the car. Virgin of Biakorri, you're so stubborn. I mean
who did you take after? Huh?
I was really hoping to turn around and not see him anymore. But he was still
there. Stuck to me.
Cristal, we made it to Spain. Can you believe it? And we haven't even
had anything to eat yet. Oh look, there's a seafood restaurant! Look,
there.
Excuse me, is this… uh… a good restaurant for fish?
Nuh-uh. It's not a good fish restaurant.
The meat's good, then? Oh, a steakhouse! Cristal! Let's go to a steakhouse,
darling.
Alright. Cristal, please tell me what we're doing here.
Cristal?
Excuse me, ma'am? Where are we going?
-It's a hostel. -The party will be amazing later…
-Pardon me? -It's where we're sleeping.
Dammit. Cristal! There are five-star hotels where people like us can go!
Please have mercy.
There it is. I'll keep this for you.
Tomorrow is the San Fermin Festival and we are fully booked. But, for one night
only, we can provide you with deluxe accommodation, in the suite of Ernest
Hemingway.
Wait, I'm supposed to sleep with a man I don't know?
Mh-hm. Um… Just so you know… I don't think Hemingway is returning
tonight.
Then, no problem.
-Good night. -Good night.
Sugar buns.
My love. We had to stop on the French Riviera. There's been a tragedy.
What happened?
The ice maker's broken down again.
Oh, no.
These cocktails are warm! Come on, I'm dying!
This is not fun.
Guys, I'm so deeply sorry. Uh… Tomorrow, I'll send my team of technicians
over, okay?
But, when are you coming?
Sweetie, I know my daughter. Tomorrow, she'll have had enough and go home.
Hurry up, I miss you. So… come back. Ta-ta.
What a day. Phew.
First time in Pamplona, sir?
Yeah, it's my first time. I'm here for my daughter, who feels that she
must do the Camino de Santiago.
Mine used to bug me about the Camino, but not anymore.
Why?
She's a minor. I told her: "Next year, you'll be old enough to do it on your
own".
Your Cristal, sir.
PLACE AND DATE OF BIRTH ROME, APRIL 15, 2007
Sir?
What's the matter?
What's the matter? I'll show her what's wrong with this.
-So? -What are we doing?
Falsifying documents?
Huh? Do you think I'm a senile old man and don't know when you were born?
You don't know shit about me! Whatever, just go away.
Do not talk like that to your father, Cristal.
You? You want to be a parent?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the credit card and see whose name's on it.
And if you don't stop it now, I'm going to limit your spending allowance.
To 500 euros.
No! That's too much, though.
No, no, no, no. See, when she needs it, it's okay. So, this is how you
straighten them out. This walk is just a phase. Just another phase you won't
see through. Like everything else you try and do, Cristal. Just like you did
with figure skating, then… sailing, then… horseback riding.
At least, I'm trying to do something! You've never done a damn thing,
that's for sure!
Yeah, true. It's true. But I'm very fond of doing nothing, Cristal.
My only consistency is me doing nothing. When I start feeling, maybe I might do
something. No, consistency, I tell myself. Come with…
I don't want your credit card! You controlled Corina, but you can't
buy me.
Oh, yeah? And who did you bribe to make this ID as fake as you?
You're the fake!
No, no. I am real. I'm so real. I'm exactly as you see me.
A real dickhead!
Oh, little baldie!
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a patch. It's a patch cover, you guys. You
ignorant asses. Cristal!
You have lost your mind if you think anyone dares say "dickhead" to your
Good evening. We have here the dickhead
Go, dickhead! Go, dickhead! Go, dickhead!
of the festival! But since he's Italian,
folks, they have awarded him the title Dickhead of San Fermín.
-Father! -Go, dickhead! Go, dickhead! Go, dickhead!
But let's see the video of how he earned this crown of Dickhead.
Mother Mary.
That's insane. What made you want to park here?
In Italy, I normally park like this. Because maybe I'll see… uh…
a cat or two, uh… puppy. In Rome, there's creatures, but bulls… never.
My people, it's time we crown the Dickhead of San Fermín.
-Yeah! -How much is a Ferrari?
Don't make me talk about it. Fortunately, I have five Ferraris. And my
father would pretty much say: "Six is too much, six is too much".
-How's that? -You're very well prepared!
Always.
That are in the whole world
I kinda like the song.
Some unique parties
¡Riau-riau!
-Good morning. -Good morning.
I brought your cover.
No, thank you. Tomorrow, I'll see my trichologist in Milan. He'll make
it much blonder.
Have you decided to leave?
Do you feel I should stay with my demon of a daughter?
That's what I was thinking. Cristal is searching for her father.
No. Her father went looking for her. It would've been better had I never
found her.
I think you should stay. Why don't you come walk the Camino with her?
I should travel the Camino? Because that might be a good idea?
I walked the Camino de Santiago.
Mmh.
I also walked the Camino de Santiago. In fact, I came back last week. It was
-stupendous. -See, he walked it too.
-Him? -If he can do it, you can do it.
We should probably find out when he began. Must have started in 1982.
So… what's the plan?
Listen, I don't even have proper equipment for that. My things were
destroyed.
To walk the Camino, you only need the essentials.
Also, I'm Alma. Shall we go?
Sure you brought everything?
You said: "Just the essentials". But if I need more things, don't fret.
Shopping is my passion.
No, no, no, no, no. The rule is, you do not need a backpack more than
15% of your body weight.
Oh, really?
So, you might need to lighten your pack or put on weight.
Bad idea. I care a lot about my appearance. I'm with a model. What would
-she say? -How old is she?
Okay. So, the rule is that my woman shouldn't be older than 50% of my
age.
Oh. Looks like I'm out of the contest, you know. I'm only 40.
Well, I would hope that you do have a man.
Ah. We might say that I'm doing the Camino for him.
I'm at the Alto del Perdón. Behind me are sculptures of the "Walking Pilgrims".
Look at this wonder.
-Look -At the beauty. Look at the…
Surprise!
Will you please piss off and go the fuck away, you asshole!
I mean, she treats me like I'm a freaking idiot.
-Mmh. -No way, Alma. She freaking hates me.
No, she doesn't hate you. She loathes you.
Oh, yeah? You know what? Fine, then. Maybe I'll go and see if your
mother will come deal with you. Monster!2
-Hey, hey, hey, Checco. Come back, -No, no, no, no. I can't do it. What am I
-come back. -supposed to do with her?
You have to be patient. The Camino's long. A lot can change. Things that
you could never even imagine. Uh… Come. Let's take a break, Checco.
Alright, Alma. Let's get moving.
And where's your stuff?
Let's just go.
We are at the Puente de la Reina, a bridge built by Queen Munia to let the
pilgrims pass. So, we bow in her honor as we cross barefoot. Like me…
And like all the others on the pilgrimage.
Actually, not everyone. Some people are quite arrogant and think they're
-better than God! -Take them off. Come on, come on.
Okay, sure. It's all right, it's all right. See, look, I'm taking
them off, I'm taking them off. You see? Limited edition, 3,800K. It's the
queen who bows. Clear?
Alright, come on.
No, there are shoes, and there are shoes. Cristal, they're off!
-Cristal! Crist… ah! The queen -Come on! Keep walking. Walk.
Was a whore… Ugh… A bitch! Ugh…
But where is this place?
We're almost there.
Nothing, huh? He's not picking up.
Who's not?
Professor Limberti. Pretty much lead plastic surgeon at San Raffaele.
For a blister?
Huh? Uh…
-It's serious. -I can pop it for you.
Yeah, but I'm gonna have a scar and… how can I get on a boat? Blemishes
among us are not…
-Don't worry. -They're not very accepted.
Good afternoon.
Brothers and sisters, good afternoon. Welcome.
-Oh, thank you so much. Many blessings. -Thank you.
Thank you very much, brother. God bless you. Welcome, my friend! Much gratitude.
-Cristal, let me. Cristal! I'm her -Thank you, child.
Father. Let me pay… Ah, come on.
No… n… No, I don't have a POS.
What about IBAN? Or maybe a wire transfer?
It's okay. Come, come. Please, please, just go.
Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Go! Come on. Thank you so much. Thank you.
We might be a little arrogant.
We have a lot of people waiting. Thank you, thank you.
Man, I need a shower… Maybe I'll get something to eat…
Checco, come. Come, come here…
Where should I sleep here?
I know that… you typically would be somewhere nice, or in the best hotels in
the world.
Only the most exclusive.
Right. But now you're here, with your daughter. Show her how happy you are
to be together with her. Okay?
I'll try to.
Wow, it's so amazing here! It's stupendous, very pretty. Delightful!
My, look at all of the wood they used.
-Creative, extremely elegant. -Ah… beautiful!
It looks like… like being in a film!
Oh, yeah? Which one?
Schindler's List. Let me check out the showers. My friend, turn it on
and let me see. Oh! See? It's not spraying gas! No, this is really, really
nice. Perfect, Cristal. Fantastic.
What we have here is the blessing rap.
When we pray, we like to sing and clap.
Extend out our hands.
Put back our hands.
-And with this rap, we are all -We are all now blessed
now blessed.
Nice. Original, Cristal. It's original rap. Uh… It was good.
Now, let's take a moment to search inward as Christ did when he stood
amongst those who could not partake in the sustenance of the Lord's
blessings.
What did he say?
He said: "Think about those who don't have a meal to enjoy".
Ah… And what about those who have to eat it? Who thinks about them?
Enjoy your dinner.
Enjoy, enjoy.
Thank you.
Excuse me, who cooked? The chef, who is it?
Ah… Hiroshi.
Oh, you? The Japanese guy. You? No! Everyone, please, a round of applause to
-Hiroshi! -To the chef! Well done, buddy.
Well done, well done.
Perfect.
It's my specialty.
Mmh… Ah… So, tell me, in Japan… Karate. Was it invented after tasting your
cooking? No? Forgive me, Hiroshi. I… um…
Don't cook anymore. No more.
Ugh… What the fuck did he put in this sauce? It won't even come off… ugh…
with muriatic acid, huh? Sugar buns!
Darling, the ice machine. No one seems to be handling the issue.
And we have another problem.
What else happened? Martina, don't make me agitated.
Checco. We wanted anchovy canapes and simple butter.
There's plenty, guys. I have plenty.
They're not from the Cantabrian Sea.
And who put them aboard my yacht?
Sweetie, it's been a disaster. All the girls decided to leave me.
Martina, listen to me. You and I, we'll get back on our feet, I promise.
I love you. No way, I can't do this. I can't be here. I did my best now…
Ah! Are those more pots? Did you know, Cristal? Papà is really enjoying
scrubbing these pots! Eh heh, if you don't believe me, it's true!
Hello, I'm Alma. Um… many pilgrims walk the Camino in order to find themselves.
And I walk the Camino for… for the courage… to lose a bit of myself.
I am Gianni, and I am blind. And I always asked my friend Riccardo
-to accompany me on this journey. -Oh, thank you.
But he was… married and never had time. Then fortunately, him and his
wife separated.
And now, I'm the one accompanying him.
What… What's this for?
My name is Paul…
-It's the candle circle. All the pilgrims -This isn't my first time walking
-the Camino. I've tried before in -tell their story to each other.
The past but I lacked the will…
Hello, everyone. I'm Leo and I'm here because I felt the… need to go
on a journey that was spiritual, and encounter the light that's deep
inside.
Shh.
I am Cristal and I'm a girl that doesn't want for anything.
Very true.
I really have everything in abundance.
That's my daughter. My baby, it's very true. She has everything.
But it's not enough anymore.
How come? But, but, but… she could've told me. I would've added more
funds in her bank. So humiliating…
So, I decided to walk the path of the Camino, because I needed… to find
something authentic that was missing in my life.
Hm… Oh no. Everything I gave her has been the original.
This lack of authenticity makes me live moments of darkness and pain… that I
hope to overcome.
No, no. Excuse me, ma'am. It's late. Hi. Hello, everyone. I'm Checco,
and Cristal, maybe out of embarrassment, doesn't say it, but she's my daughter.
Um… you see, Cristal… I may never have told you but your dad… also had…
a dark moment. It was way back, when I was about 25.
I had gone to New York, to purchase… the Nautilus 5711, which, I imagine
you know, it's the Patek Philippe that must absolutely not be missing
in any watch collection.
But when I got to Manhattan… I had to confront tragedy. The jewelry store had
burned to the ground. It was destroyed. My dream was gone.
It was a really, hard blow. But, from that day on, I knew that you have to
let things float away and go.
Cristal. That day left a lasting impression on me. It was the 11th of
September 2001. And this is meant to tell you, when the darkness comes. There is
always a light, Cristal, believe me.
I hated him with all my heart. I hoped he would disappear forever. And
instead he was there, a few beds away.
Look where the fuck I ended up.
No, come on. Not the dog. No… The dog. No, come on.
You don't mind that he sleeps here, do you? If so, I can sleep here.
No, no. Better with the dog. I really like dogs.
-Jesus Christ. -Checco?
-Huh? -I'm Leo. Do you remember me?
Hm… spiritual journey guy.
Eh… in reality, I use the Camino to find the baddest chicks.
In the prime of her life, eh? Does her mom know?
Yeah.
So, Olga dropped something under the bed. You mind giving it for me, please?
You fucking nasty, mother-- The hell with you. That old lady, her freaking
dentist. Everything's fine. Nice, nice, nice, darling. Very nice.
-Hello. -Good morning.
Hi… Hey…
Hey, Cristal. Have you seen Checco?
No, and I hope I never see him again. I want to walk alone.
Of course. Enjoy the Camino.
Bye.
But… Hey!
Hey! Get up, get up! Come on! Let's go! Go! Go, get up! Let's go! Go!
Oh, my. Juan, turn off all those bells, please. A bit of respect, will you?
What are you talking about?
What bells? Get moving! Everyone's already gone. You'll have to walk in
-the sun. Hurry. -Okay. Let's do this. Come on.
Can I have a coffee?
A coffee, yes. A croissant, as well. No, come on! Let's go, go, go, go.
-Easy, easy. Don't… -Come on, you don't have time. Please…
-Where can I change? -I don't know where you can change?
Is there a vacant crypt?
Crypt? Come on, now! Are we that disrespectful? Come on.
So what do we really consume, sitting at the bar? We consume ourselves. The
authority grants us our out-of-cell hours, but lock us up again even
more obedient in our slavery. But we must figure out how to free ourselves from
all this. But calmly, very calmly.
Tarek!
Excuse me. All right, when is he returning Cristal?
He's not answering. I keep calling his phone. Tarek, I was thinking it would be
good for Cristal to spend some time with her father.
What are you saying? Cristal can't be with him, she deserves better.
What is this place?
Is anyone here?
Hey, a human! Excuse me, for the Camino de Santiago, is this the
right way?
Which Camino are you doing? French Camino? British Camino? The Portuguese
Camino?
Um… I walk like this. You tell me.
A dipshit Camino!
Oh. Where is it? I'm searching for my daughter. Cristal! Is this
what you do to your father?
Help! Help!
Cristal! What happened, Cristal?
Oh, God dammit.
Okay, here… What happened?
I fell down here. Ah, my ankle!
Ah! Stop! Stop, my leg!
What? You maybe felt like Indiana Jones, huh? Huh?
Ugh…
You're a princess, Cristal. Get that through your thick skull, once and
for all!
You don't go into the woods. Party life. Happy hours. Bars. Look. Look, look.
See that? When you go dancing, that doesn't happen, Cristal.
It'll pass. Stay calm.
-Ah, stop. -Stay calm.
I said I need a break!
Stay calm. Baby, sit down. Sit down. Let's see if someone passes by.
Nothing. What can we do?
Ugh… No, I can't believe it. Cristal, do you see this? Grandpa exported Italian
products, and now, we have to thank him! Hey!
I'm the owner, Zalone. No, you're not dreaming, boy. I'm the owner.
It's me, Zalone! I'm the owner! Stop, you bastard! It's an order, stop!
Eh… when I get back to headquarters in Brescia, I'm firing his ass.
In Monza! The headquarters are in Monza! You've never seen the place, not even
-once! -It's in Monza?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Excuse me, excuse me! Excuse me. Stop, stop! It's an emergency.
Hey! Move, move! I have a code red. Move, for Santiago Bernabéu's
sake! Move! I have a code tinto on board. Move. Move.
Huh? Huh? Checco?
Alma. Alma! Stop, stop, stop! Ugh… She fell.
What?
She shattered her ankle.
Ugh… Come on. Go, go! I'm coming with you. I'm coming with you.
-Get in, get in. How do you open this? -Are you okay?
Can you please stop staring at me?
-Keep it on ice. -Yes, okay. I'll tell her.
Um… So, Cristal, there's no fracture. But it is a really bad contusion.
-A really bad contusion. -You need to rest, okay?
How much time will she need?
Around 15 days.
-Mmh. -15 days?
Yes.
She obviously won't be able to walk on that.
No, no. Best not to try. No.
Just when I started appreciating the Camino.
Don't act like you feel bad!
No, no. I mean, I feel your pain… but it's over. Okay. I'll organize
our return, I guess.
Mmh?
Hey… Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Relax.
But… but… why?
It's okay. Shh…
Yes, this is Mr. Zalone. The extra gold 1489. Actually, I need an immediate
medical flight out. So, ready a course. Or maybe a… uh… private jet with a
medical unit on board.
Hello, sir. Of course, sir.
Mr. Zalone, what's your location?
Heh, good question. Look, I'm in Spain. Um, it might be easier if I send you
my position. What happened?
Cristal can't give up right now. You must not go home.
But the medical staff said she can't walk. What am I supposed to
do about that?
You know what's possible for a father if he believes? Miracles, Checco. Miracles.
Sitting during the Camino, huh? Good morning. Ladies, you're also visiting
Santiago, looking for a miracle, right?
-Heh? See, I took my daughter to see -Oh…
Medjugorje. We also visited Lourdes, right? Fatima… Freaking torture,
seriously. But now we'll see this Santiago. Well, he's a man. So, on
paper, he's more reliable.
Have a good Camino.
Goodbye!
Can't believe this idiot. Absolute idiot.
It's not the wise man
Who shows you the way
It's not at the civil registry
The brother of the aunt
It's not the superhero Who saves the little girl
Add to the wall.
-Want some? -Wait, wait. Cheers.
Also because I was in Cortina
It's not the photo you have on your desk
It's not that puppy That you pet and then leave
It's not that game Where you guess who they look like
Look at the eyebrows
Oh, what will it be? What is there?
What do they put in the DNA
Stop it, hey!
That makes us find ourselves here
Without knowing the way
But whatever it is, whatever happens
Have a good Camino
PILGRIM'S HOSPITAL
-Thank you. -And you? Don't you have credentials?
Well, no, excuse me.
Hey, look here. Should I continue?
These credentials. You need a stamp.
Oh, that's it? Eh. I'll buy one. What's it cost?
I'm sorry. There's only two beds available.
-Say what? -Uh… they only have two beds.
Um… question. Where are you sleeping tonight, Alma?
That night, something that I had been hoping for, for a long time, happened.
That he would finally take a nice bath in humility.
Oh, your husband is dead?
Yes, poor thing.
Ah, I'm single.
-Bless these hands as they prepare to -That's good.
-Cook. -Okay, but I can't just forget about her.
I told you to look around.
Look where? There's nothing here.
What's wrong? What is it? What happened?
Enough. I can't take it anymore. I want to go home.
Are you crazy?
Do you hear what she's saying?
Right now? Now that we've made it to the end of the Camino?
Oh. This is Santiago!
It's the halfway point of the Camino.
-Oh. Right, sorry. My… my geography -Ah… Uh… Eh. I get it. And how far is
-isn't… uh… -Santiago in kilometers?
Um… Maybe learn to read a map, because
-you're misleading people. Come on. -No, no, no, no. I'm going back. I'm
-Let's go. No. Come on, come on, come on. -going home. I can't take it anymore, I
-What do you mean, go back? You… you -want to go home. Please, I want to
-can't go! Hey guys? My daughter wants to -go back.
Go home.
-No! Cristal, come on! Cristal! Yeah! -Come on, Cristal. Be brave. Cristal!
-Cristal! Cristal! -Cristal! Cristal! You don't leave things
No. No. Come on. I want to go…No, no let me go! Let me go! Let me go!
Let me go! Put me down! Put me down! Put me down! Hey. Stop! Stop! Let me go!
Let me go, now!
Halfway. You don't leave things halfway. Come on. You don't leave them.
You do them with your dad.
You're under arrest, Cristal. I'm taking you to the police.
Wait a second, Mrs. Restelli. You tried to get your ex-husband to come home
with Cristal, is that it?
Yes, I've been trying for weeks, but he won't listen to me.
Look, for us to intervene, you'll first need to report him for the abduction of
And the sooner, the better. Right, Linda?
A minor.
Yeah.
-Come with me. -In "Anno Domini" 2025.
Domino?
Domini. Are you Christian?
-Yes, yes. -Yes.
So, in "Anno Domini" 2025, "infrascripto" Linda Restelli… The undersigned.
Ah, the undersigned.
… Lodges a report…
Ah… "lodges"?
… Supporting against…
I suppose so.
… To the detriment of Mr. Zalone.
Against.
Excuse me. Please, could you maybe write it? Sorry.
And walk, walk
And here I am. Back on the road.
Well, it was really him… who gave me the strength to continue the Camino.
Hello.
-How are you? -Welcome.
-Hello. -Welcome.
-Hi. -This is nice, huh?
Have a good Camino.
You walk with me
Ah, thank you very much. Checco, we've been collecting donations for the…
for the dinner. Would you accompany Father Tobías to get supplies?
-Yes, yes, I'll come with you. -Will you? We'll go buy it from a local
farmer. He's a friend.
That's great. You two can do additional shopping.
But we'll get food from the compound. We buy the stuff and then, who cooks?
-Uh, who's the cook tonight? -He is.
No! No. Let me do one thing. I'll take care of it. Since I want to celebrate my
daughter, who was limping but then continued the Camino… Um… okay…
Uh… Pilgrims! Tonight, I'll organise what's for dinner. All right?
Hooray! Yeah!
All right.
I'll wait downstairs, Checco.
-Okay. -Thanks, Checco.
What's up?
I don't want you organising any parties for me, okay?
Why?
Because I know you. You always get so grandiose. We are here to share
simple food, bought with donations we collected. Is that clear?
Cristal, your father has had a big transformation… on the Camino.
I understand a lot of things. A lot.
The truth is, I still had a lot of prejudices against him.
But the Camino seemed to be really changing him, and I had to put my
trust in him. A lot of trust.
And anyway, he was with Father Tobías…
Let's go, let's go, let's go. It's late. Let's go, come on. Let's get moving,
farmer.
And he would have kept him on the right path for sure.
Checco. We don't have the money to pay for this, you know?
There is providence…
-No. No. No. -Okay.
Here, try some. Try some.
-Mmh. -Taste good, huh? Uh, two.
200 grams?
200 grams, yes.
No. Two entire legs. Two pata negras.
Mmh… Very good choice, sir. It's a French wine of high quality.
Wonderful. You can put it in here, and… fill it.
Inside those?
Sure, sure, sure. Open it, pour it.
Yes. And… here.
Checco. He said he can't, it's impossible.
-Why not? -Because my dignity has no price tag.
I have three Michelin Stars. Not possible.
This is wonderful. Here, try this… The chef really did a great job…
This tastes amazing…
All right! Hey, guys! Let's make a toast to my daughter, with this
home-made wine from a local farmer!
Yeah!
To Cristal!
Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal!
Hey, there's no way this came from a farm.
You can't fool me. I'm blind. Blind, I know.
-Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! -Just for tonight, you keep your mouth
-Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! -shut.
-Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! Cristal! -Yeah?
And now, for a round of applause to Miguel. The farmer who prepared
everything. Miguel!
All right.
Hey, Alma.
Cheers to that.
Are things with Cristal… getting better?
Much, much better.
Let's just say that I've really gotten… to know her a lot lately.
Well done, Checco. A father that can read his daughter's true feelings.
Actually, he read his daughter's secret diary.
Oh no, Checco. No, why?
Hey, she deleted all her accounts on socials. How else would I find her
-secrets? -In her secret diary, no.
In there, I found many things that made me worry. Basically, she's had some
disappointments with love, right? And now, she refuses anything
material, and wants to devote herself to spirituality and prayer. That's what
she wrote. Is she gonna take her vows, you think? Mmh…
That would be a big problem.
No, Alma. That'll be catastrophic.
I only have my one daughter, and if she's a nun… maybe she'll take a vow
of poverty and give everything to this guy… Leone, who comes in and
takes everything from her. No! That's not how-- Hey! Ssh, shh. She's
coming, she's coming.
I'm going out with Alberto.
Mmh. With Alberto?
Yes… Problem?
No. Why? That's fine. Bye-bye. Get outta here.
-Mmh. -Alright, see ya.
Goodbye. Alberto? Come back for a quick word. Let's talk.
Listen, so you're going out with my daughter?
Okay. Listen, I'll stop you right there. I already know what you want to say.
Don't worry. Cristal told me that she's a minor. And… I respect women and would
never try making her do anything.
Then, you're not going out with my daughter. You have to try, Alberto.
What? You think my daughter's ugly? Huh?
No, no, no. Well, she's nice, but…
Then you have to try, okay? You're handsome, you're Italian, you're
sympathetic. Some banter with charm. Then you look her in the eyes,
it's a bit poetic…
Yeah? And then stop, okay? Don't go further. She's my kid, yeah? And it's
the first night. Promise me, Alberto.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Wait a sec. I'll give you this. Look. Borrow this.
What's this? No, no, no, no, no. I can't.
No.
Shut up. This ups your chances by 56%. It's unlimited. Come, come. Take it.
-Take it. Take it… Go on. Go, go, Alberto! -Okay, fine.
Yeah.
Let's hope for the best, Alma. Boy seems like a very good kid.
Oh, another concert tonight. A symphony. It goes… Listen, listen. And now… There.
Now, of course, I know you.
-Checco. Got myself a hot date. -What?
I'm sure she misses the nursing home. Enjoy your night.
This one walks and fucks. Walks and fucks. Here, we have sleep apnea.
They might be somewhat dead. There. Here is the jazz area. Everyone
snores in their own fucking way.
-Hey Alma. Still awake? How come? -Mh-hm?
Yes.
I was thinking.
About your man, right?
Yeah. He wants me to surrender myself completely to him.
Mmh.
Well, Alma this is a classic pathological narcissist to avoid.
No, no, no, no. Checco, listen. Maybe you don't fully understand him…
No, no, I understand perfectly. This is abusive and toxic. You should get rid of
him, Alma.
Hey, Alberto. I was eagerly waiting for you. So? Tell me. How was it?
I'm really tired.
Without anatomical details, I mean. Tell me.
No, nothing. We went out and now we're back.
Yeah? Yeah?
And nothing?
And nothing.
Are you Italian, Alberto? Where is my daughter?
-She's outside. -Mmh. Why didn't she come?
-I'll go. -What do you mean, "I'll go"? These guys
-are crazy. Must be shy. -Um, where are you going?
To see Cristal
Oh…
Checco.
Hey?
Checco?
Checco!
So, after the Camino, are you going back to England?
Yeah. I'm going to. But you can come and visit, I mean…
Hey!
Oh, what happened?
You okay?
Well. I'm a bit confused. Because of this situation with my daughter, and
frankly, Alma, I…
At her age, it's normal to have doubts.
-You think? -Didn't you have any?
Ugh! Forget that!
But maybe she does.
Don't make her feel odd about it, okay? Nice, we made it to the iron cross.
-Hey, look. Take this stone. -Mmh.
What's it for?
Put it under the cross and ask for a favor.
Like for my daughter to find her Prince Charming soon?
No. For that, maybe you'll need some extra stones. Maybe sacrifice something
that's really precious to you, right?
Something precious? Ah…
Good bye, little one. All done.
Good. Mmh.
Oh, oh! I don't believe it. Look at that.
-Look at them. Look! -Yeah, that weirdo's my dad. Right there
Oh, no. Hell, no. Sorry, but no. I gave you a precious collector's item,
and you send this cheap Chinese knock
-off. No way. No, no, sorry, but -No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
-That's not a fair trade! But that's -Leave it there. Leave it there. Let go.
-Not right. Come on! I demand -Come on. You already put it down.
-No excuses, you already made your -A Westerner. I feel like I'm being jerked
From the mountains, morena Darling, come down
-offering. Leave it, come on. -around. But I gave you… No, I'm sorry.
A pair of lovely black eyes Darling, they are sneaking past
Mmh?
Ay, ay, ay, ay
Hey, no, Doctor Vannucci. So, I paid you to get my father back on his
feet. Simple enough?
Listen, believe me, prepare for the worst. Look, your father's
completely lost all motivation. He's let himself go completely.
Then, let's hurry up and find the right motivation.
Okay, okay, okay. I'll dig out the right motivation.
Look what I got.
No!
-You're famous all over the world, Checco. -Fantastic, fantastic. Simply amazing,
-Yeah. Let's find the article, come on. -just amazing.
Hey, did you really make all these quotes?
What?
"It's always nice to show off my wealth
-to those who can't afford it." Wow! -Yeah, I said that.
-You are a very generous man. Wonderful. -I know.
Oh, my! There's a pyramid at your house?
Yeah, but that's the small one. But then I made one like Tutankhamen.
Oh, I see, this one could be the miserable one, huh?
What can I say?
Ooh. Wow!
-And is this your girlfriend? -Mmh.
No! Wow, Martina Flores! I know her!
Hey, yeah, yeah. She, she's my girlfriend. You know her as a top model.
No, no, no. I know her because we went to school together.
Oh, you're a professor?
What do you mean? Professor? No, no, no. She was my companion in class.
Oh, you were held back. Because Martina is 25 years old.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Martina and I are the same age, 31.
A-a-a-are you sure?
Yeah.
Checco. You're with an old lady.
My love, why are you screaming at your better half like that?
What better half? Not one, Martina. Six, you hid from me. Six!
It's not six, it's been four. It's only been Marco, Matteo, Luca and
Giovanni.
I was talking about the years, Martina.
Sir, we only made out.
-Shh! -What, you two? What the hell…
-Hey. -Everything okay?
Mmh. Yeah, it's fine.
-Did you talk to Martina? -No, no, I went for a peepee.
I'm sorry.
Hey. Baby, I can bear the load. Okay? After all, three years ago, I had an
even bigger disappointment, something I might've wanted to talk about,
but I didn't wanna make you sad.
-But you were wrong. I would've -Huh…
listened to you.
Sit down.
Her name was Katherine. She was Swiss. Blonde, blue eyes. This long neck, an
angel. She was a receptionist at the Bellevue in St. Moritz.
And you fell in love.
Then I completely fell head over heels, Cristal. Imagine. I even booked a
room for a month, just so I'd be able to speak to her.
And she, I must say, was anything but indifferent. She made me
believe, right? But finally, when I invited her to dinner,
and my heart was torn apart…
I found out that…
She was married.
No, she was fat below. So incredibly fat, mind shattering… A guy like
me couldn't… Because there was a counter and, uh… I couldn't peer
below. You know? So, I have to say, Cristal: never believe in just the
appearance, never. Mmh? You have to promise.
Mmh.
Yes, okay, yeah. I promise. Come on, sleep now.
Good. No. I'm going to the bathroom.
-But didn't you already go? -Uh-huh, I gotta go again. Mmh…
He's had to pee, three times already. Mmh…
Even the next morning, he kept stopping.
Sorry.
I was really starting to worry.
Let's go, let's go.
-You feel okay? -Yeah, of course.
But when we reached the great chestnut tree of Ramil…
Take a photo!
A photo!
That's when we realized we had to intervene.
I should go ask him if there's something going on. Maybe if I ask he'll get
embarrassed.
-Hey. -I need to speak to you.
I need to speak to you too, Cristal. Uh, listen. I think that it's normal to
have doubts at your age.
How many times at night do you wake up to go pee?
Huh?
Instead of being worried about my sexuality, worry about your sex, okay?
-How many times? -Uh…
How would I know? Last night, maybe around ten, but it could be
from all the walking, uh… But I was saying…
Does it burn while you pee?
-Cristal, but what's making you ask me? -Give me an answer!
Sometimes it burns a little, but that's a very normal thing, you know, uh…
Is it difficult to start your flow of pee and maintain a steady flow of pee?
Wait, what, I…
Cristal, I don't recognize you any more. What kind of questions are you
asking me?
So, uh… Yeah, at times, at night. But no big deal.
Yes or no?
When you're finished peeing, do you have the sensation that you want to go again?
Uh, listen, Cristal. You and I never really had very many
conversations, but starting off with my willy is a little bit embarrassing
What's the color of your pee? Is it coming out dark or murky? Is there
for me.
Blood?
How… How would I know if it's… if it's dark or it's dark and murky…
because of the blood, huh? Uh?
We're going to find an emergency room. Come on, let's go. No, you'll
never see me again. Let's find an ER right now. Come on, let's get moving.
No. A hospital? No, no, no, no…
Okay, fine. First, I'll pee, then we'll go.
Here we are, back where we began. Doctor, go ahead.
Any word?
The ultrasound found some small suspicious mass. The medics feel
they should take it out soon.
But how's he feeling? Is he alright?
Certainly! You know how strong he is.
Cristal! They have to operate on me. I'm scared. Come with me!
Do you know what the doctor did to your father with his finger, huh? He abused
me. And it wasn't his pinky, Cristal. I could understand the ring finger. -
The mid… But the index! Not the index! But what an index!
The surgery went well, but he couldn't wake up from the anesthesia.
I was really worried. But then, what happens next…
-Here he is! -Good morning!
-Welcome back, Checco! -We're lucky to have Kocis.
-Hey! -Hey!
-Welcome back, Checco! -Welcome back, man.
Man… Christ, this guy's like smelling salt.
Hey. The medics said that the nodule had potential to become malignant.
You were right to insist, Cristal.
He has a slight fever.
Ah, it's normal, don't worry.
Hello?
Good evening, it's Maurice. I'm looking for Mister Zalone.
He can't come to the phone at the moment. I'll take a message.
The big party is two days from now, and I haven't heard from him. Please, have him
-call me back. Thank you! -Mmh.
Let's set up for the dress rehearsal!
Hey… Hey. Hey! Hey!
Okay, bring in the slaves with the throne!
And now, the odalisques, yeah? Looking good. What's that ugly old man doing
there? Get rid of him!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Hey. Excuse me, Sir! Excuse me, Sir! I thought I lost you. You scared me.
These are preparations for your son's party, kind Sir. Just imagine
if he took over for you at the company.
No!
You don't want that, do you, Sir? No, you don't want that? Then it's time to
give it your all, good sir. Are you motivated? Are you motivated? Get more
motivated. Are you motivated? Come on, Sir! Come on, Sir! Get motivated!
Your son's about to join the company.
No! No!
Yes! Uh. Yes!
Yes! Yes!
-Yes! -No!
Run! Run, Sir! Keep going, Sir! He wants to sign contracts!
No!
No…
A tender offer, Sir! He's doing a tender offer! A tender offer, Sir. Eye of the
tiger, Sir! Where's your son, Sir? Where is your son?
Oh… Oh!
Oh!
We've found him. We were able to track his phone's position. He's in
Spain.
I knew it. And where did he take Cristal? To Ibiza? Formentera?
No…
Judging from the cellphone sites, the police in Spain think he's doing
the Camino de Santiago.
Checco? The Camino de Santiago?
It's impossible, no way that's him.
It's actually him.
So? Should he finish the Camino with Cristal or do we intervene?
-Good morning! I would prefer that -Good morning.
-Hello. -He stay a few more days to recover.
It's too early to leave, but this morning, he wanted to
be discharged, because he said he was ready to go. And so be it. Go home.
Have a good day.
Let's go talk to your father, and maybe we can make him stay.
So, you will bring her to the villa tomorrow? Did you make her blonder?
Caramel. Perfect. Alright, later.
Why do you want to go home?
Hey. Breakfast for daddy. Very sweet of you.
Tell me why you want to return home.
Because… Because…
You see, Cristal, Grandpa has reached the end of the line. And… now it's up
to me to take care of the family business.
That's why you're leaving?
I have to assume my responsibilities. And begin working now.
Mmh.
Last night, you got a call. It was Maurice.
Maurice? Who's that?
-You don't know him? -Well, I have a lot of friends, I don't…
Apparently there's a party tomorrow.
-A party? There might be one. I think, -Mmh.
If you work, you should be able to also have fun. Am I right?
Have your fun, then.
Hey, not even a kiss for your father?
Alma, there will be a guest list of 800 people at the party for my 50th
birthday. I've already walked a lot for my daughter, right?
Checco, the Camino was for yourself. It's for you to ask yourself why
you're here.
Maybe you can come to the party?
You mean it? With you?
Do you have an Egyptian dress?
Ah, let's see now, hmm… Egyptian, I don't think so.
Wait, let me call Maurice. What's your measurements?
Checco. Checco. Thank you.
Hm? Hm…
But I want to finish walking the Camino. Happy birthday, my friend. See you.
Alma, there's two DJs playing hits tomorrow night…
I can't understand this.
Why?
Hey.
I had a father like yours.
Mmh?
Very rich. Very, very rich. When I finished my studies in medicine, and
I told him what I wanted to do with my life, that I would not take care of
his business affairs… he cut off all ties with me.
He didn't wanna know anything about my life.
Were you able to forgive him?
When he became sick, I stayed by his side until the last moment.
It's not a matter of forgiving… but of loving.
Love doesn't expect anything back from you
Hm.
Tomorrow, you'll be in Santiago. Try to arrive there with all the love you can
manage.
I'm thankful for these feet…
I made it.
Yeah!
This way. Turn this way
Look up there…
Let's see. Please, make way for the sick. Let's make some room, please.
Come along, please. This way.
Can you hold this Gianni? My darling.
I love you, baby.
Did you see how happy Cristal was?
Yeah, I saw it.
And did you ever imagine you'd arrive in Santiago with her?
No. And not with you either, Alma.
Maybe with a supermodel, right?
No. No. No more supermodels. Alma, I've changed a lot and… and I have to tell
you. I…
Ah, ah, ah, ah! I have something to give you… Wait.
What's this? Uh… a T?
A T, yes. But it means so much more.
Ah. Sure. It's a T for…
Happy birthday! Woohoo!
-You're great, happy birthday! -Happy birthday, Checco!
Dammit, guys. What are you guys doing? No way. What are you doing?
Come on, blow!
Ah… Yeah!
Oh. Checco! Checco! We decided to keep going with the Camino.
What? Doesn't the Camino end in Santiago, guys?
No, come on! Santiago? We have a surprise. Tell him, tell him.
We decided to finish at the Atlantic Ocean.
Oh, no, Cristal, no. Come on, no…
-Come on, let's do it! -Okay, let's go.
-Great! -Let's do it!
Checco! Checco! Checco! Checco! Checco! Checco! Checco! Checco!
And walk, walk
And by the Atlantic Ocean our Camino had ended.
Kilometer zero! Whoo!
And walk, walk
You walk with me
-Whoo! -We only had to perform the three pilgrim
rites: bathing in the ocean…
Alma, look out. Surprise!
Found it!
…Collecting a scallop shell, and in the evening, going to the beach to burn a
-garment. -Are you really going to burn that shirt?
Yeah, but I mean, I wanna burn something that matters.
But, there was also a fourth rite. The pilgrim in love.
Aren't you coming with us?
I'll catch up with you later.
Look, you know Alma has a man, right?
-I know, I know. -Yes, but maybe you don't understand.
The man Alma loves is…
Is a dickhead. A pathological narcissist who oppresses her, and we'll free her.
-Come on -No.
Listen to me. Really listen to me.
No, no, no, no, no, no. You listen to me. Do you want to explain love to your
father? Mmh?
Go. Come on. I'll catch up later.
Go.
Shall we go?
Are they for me?
Yes. Oh…
They're beautiful, thank you.
Is there a masquerade party tonight?
No. Checco.
Oh, no?
This is not a costume I'm wearing.
Oh, I see.
So, when you, uh… The man you were speaking about is…
Jesus. Yes.
Oh, wow. Oh…
Oh, no
You see, Checco… I had a moment of great uncertainty. Religion was interfering
with my actual faith. But at the end of the Camino, I found some answers.
Mmh. Ah.
Ah.
Oh. Yes
So now you're going to the convent
-with your colleagues… No? -No.
No.
I'm needed on the road. Walking in the streets with my family. With joy.
Oh.
We'll meet again, Checco. We'll meet again, along the way.
Okay, listen. Cut to the chase. Uh, tell me, is this your final decision?
I mean, you've decided to dedicate your life to Jesus.
-Instead of you? -Oh, well, um…
Checco. I know how to be content.
Mmh. Mmh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-Hey. -Hey.
Cristal.
Here, look. This is the Compostela of St. James, and this is the one that
I just picked up from Muxia.
Look at that, you made it, Cristal. I knew you would. Mmh?
Cristal!
Come on. Go. It's only right you spend time with your mother, mmh?
-Cristal! -Go on. Alright, alright, she's coming!
Oh, Cristal. Cristal. You forgot this. And… this is a fake one. Hmm?
Because you're so much more than 18, Cristal. You're much wiser.
You're special, Cristal.
The paperwork is signed, and this is a copy for you.
-Thank you. -Have a safe trip.
-Good bye. Thanks. -Thanks.
Thank you.
Where's Cristal?
González!
-What is it? -The girl.
She was just right here.
She was. But where is she now?
I don't know. I don't know where she went.
-Excuse me -Papà!
Papà! Papà! Hey. Papà!
Hey.
You didn't hear me?
-I heard, "Papà! Papà! Papà!" I heard, -Yeah!
But I mean, you've never called me that. So I was papà?
Yeah, yeah, you were papà.
You see. The Camino gave me my answer.
But where are you going?
I want to ask myself more questions. Maybe I'll walk a little more.
I'll come with you.
Alright, let's go!
Alright, I must tell Grandpa that I'm not coming back.
Hello? Doctor Vannucci, how's my father?
It's going great, your father is very well, he's already back at work.
And just today, he said his very first words!
What'd he say?
I'll put him on. Sir, it's your son.
You dickhead!
Thank god, papà.
-What did Grandpa say? -He motivated me.
Let's go then, come on.
"Buen Camino, " baby girl.
"Buen Camino, " papà.
Oh, what will it be? What is there?
What do they put in the DNA
That makes us find ourselves here
Without knowing the way
But whatever it is, whatever happens
Have a good Camino, darling
HAVE A GOOD CAMINO EVERYONE
This night of love and passion
With the girl of my heart
Who is yearning, waiting for me in bed
But I'm in the toilet
I've been standing still for three hours
Hopefully I'll hit the toilet
Finally, there's a drop of pee
That's all, that's all
Oh, my prostate is inflamed
I can't say how much I cried
And that urologist laughed While he took off his glove
Oh, my prostate is inflamed
You can forget about girls
Because when the prostare hurts
Even Pablo can't fuck
And leaving for a trip is a bit like dying
A stop at every Autogrill
On the road, Seville, Granada Already the eighth time peeing
My life is now miserable and dark
Without pata negra and 'nduja
Because a piece this small is enough
And it burns here, it burns here Oh, my prostate is inflamed
And I felt under siege
While the urologist tried
First the index And then the middle finger
Oh, my prostate is inflamed
You can forget about girls
Because when the prostate hurts Even Pablo can't fuck
Oh, he can't fuck
I can tell by the way You look at me and sigh
When I come to pick you up with my Ferrari
My girl, I can tell that you love me
In this three-star Michelin restaurant
You get emotional and you have tears
When I give you this Gucci bag
I give it to you because I'm convinced Because I'm sure
It's true love It's pure love
Like a diamond Like a sapphire
Like the gold bars I keep safe in Switzerland
It's true love Sincere love
That doesn't care about money
Swear to me, sweet fairy It's only love if you slept with me
I, Martina de la Roca Queen of the mouth
Take you, Thing As my legitimate husband
And I promise you loyalty Whatever happens
In wealth, uh In opulence, uh
In Versilia, in St. Moritz On vacation, uh
And I promise to be by your side If you feel tired on the boat
And I promise you some nice blowjobs After shopping on Via dei Condotti
It's true love It's pure love
Like a diamond Like a sapphire
Like the gold bars I keep safe in Switzerland
It's true love Sincere love
That doesn't care about money
Swear to me, sweet fairy It's only love if you slept with me
Is there anyone here who wants to work?
I don't work Because if I worked
I would get tired for sure And I wouldn't fall in love
Let's dance!
Comrades, forward The great party
Of workers That's what we are
Swear to me, my love, that in the morning You won't wake me up before one
Baby, my love, you have to swear That I will never work in my life
Love me, love me, love me
Pay me, pay me, pay me
I don't work Because if I worked
I would get tired for sure And I wouldn't fall in love, no
I don't work Because you only live once
And sweating in the morning Is not worth it
Let's dance!