1 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:19,125 [fireworks exploding] 2 00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:50,250 [Greg] It's hard to imagine two people more different than me and my dad. 3 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:53,625 So, whoever came up with the saying, "like father, like son," 4 00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,292 never met the two of us. 5 00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:59,042 For instance, I've been trying to take it easy over the holiday break 6 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,292 and I like to stay in bed until I can't stand the taste of my breath anymore. 7 00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:03,458 [exhales, sniffs] 8 00:01:03,542 --> 00:01:05,333 -[demonic laughter] -Eh. 9 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:07,500 But my dad's one of those guys who likes 10 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,000 to get up at the crack of dawn and start getting things done. 11 00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:12,583 -[screams] -[whistles] 12 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,667 [Greg] Once I'm out of bed, 13 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:17,250 I'm one of those people that likes to ease into their morning. 14 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:20,167 And for me, that means spending a few minutes warming up over the heating vent. 15 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,292 -[sighs in relief, chuckles] -Huh? 16 00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,500 [Greg] But I guess my dad's just not wired the same way. 17 00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:27,375 -[Frank] Hmm. -[screams, teeth clattering] 18 00:01:29,208 --> 00:01:32,958 [Greg] Even on Christmas day, Dad goes into full drill sergeant mode. 19 00:01:33,042 --> 00:01:35,708 And I know he just wants to be on time for church. 20 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:38,458 But there's gotta be a better way to get your kid moving. 21 00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:40,833 [screams, grumbles] 22 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:44,292 So, my plan is to stay out of my dad's way as much as possible, 23 00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,708 because the combination of the two of us just isn't working. 24 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:53,208 -[wind howling] -[ticking] 25 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:02,125 I don't know what's taking Greg so long. All he has to do is put on clothes. 26 00:02:02,208 --> 00:02:04,833 Don't worry. I'm sure he'll be out in a moment. 27 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,750 Careful not to get chocolate on your church clothes, Manny. 28 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:11,333 [chomping] Mmm, Santa! [chomps] 29 00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:14,625 I don't know why we have to wear fancy clothes to church. 30 00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:17,875 I mean, who are we tryin' to impress, anyway? 31 00:02:17,958 --> 00:02:20,458 Some of us have to wear clothes like these every day, you know? 32 00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:24,750 Yeah, I'm not gonna get one of those jobs where you have to dress up like a nerd. 33 00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:27,667 And what kind of job are you plannin' on having, Rodrick? 34 00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:31,208 I don't know. Gravedigger, ticket scalper, pirate. 35 00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,750 Wait, do you have to get good grades for that? 36 00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:37,375 'Cause my last report card was a little shaky. 37 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:38,875 He really should be out by now. 38 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,042 You know what? Maybe I should go check on him. 39 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,250 Relax, dear. 40 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:45,375 But if Greg doesn't come out soon, we're not getting a seat. 41 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,542 Wait. We might have to stand? 42 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,917 -[groans softly] -[car honking] 43 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,542 [Frank] Are you crazy? 44 00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:54,250 [screaming] Yo, Greg, let's go! 45 00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,667 -[car honking] -Huh? 46 00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:03,167 Whoops! 47 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,167 Whoa! [groans] 48 00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,375 [yelps, groans] 49 00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,792 [grunting] Come on. 50 00:03:09,625 --> 00:03:12,417 [footsteps thumping] 51 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,667 Oops. [chuckles nervously] 52 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,167 -Finally. -Hurry up! 53 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:21,542 -Sorry. I was having trouble with my tie. -Yeah. 54 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,250 I'll help you with that when we get to church. 55 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,917 -Stop! -[Manny] Ho, ho, ho! 56 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,333 -Manny! -[Manny laughs mischievously] 57 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:27,958 [Frank] Okay, come on. Just hop in. 58 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,625 -Okay, off we go. -[Susan] Wait! 59 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:34,000 -[grunts] What? -Greg, where's your coat? 60 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,375 Oh, he's fine, Susan. Look, we gotta move. 61 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,375 He'll catch a cold. Now, run back inside and go get it. 62 00:03:39,458 --> 00:03:42,833 But I locked the door. How am I supposed to get in the house? 63 00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:46,417 -[sighs] With a key. -A key? 64 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,125 What am I supposed to do with that? 65 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:51,292 -You just turn it in the deadbolt. -A deadbolt? 66 00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:53,375 -And please hurry. -Yeah! 67 00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:55,667 This oughta be good. [chomps] 68 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,917 [♪ suspenseful music playing] 69 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,833 Okay, here we go. 70 00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:06,625 -[clinking] -Uh... 71 00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,333 Has this kid really never used a key before? 72 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,917 -Bro... -[both chuckle] 73 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,208 [grunting] 74 00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:15,375 -[sighs wearily] -[car honks] 75 00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:18,042 You know what? I'll go get the coat, Susan. 76 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,875 Frank, it'll only take Greg a second, honey. 77 00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:25,083 [sighs wearily] Did I really never teach him to use a key? 78 00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:27,917 [groans] Turn already! Come on! 79 00:04:28,792 --> 00:04:31,292 Ah-ha! Hey, I did it. 80 00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,333 See? You just needed to believe in him. 81 00:04:34,417 --> 00:04:36,000 Hmm. 82 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:39,708 -[clicking] -[groans] 83 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,167 Come on! [grunting] 84 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,875 -What the... -Stupid door. 85 00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:48,292 [grunting] 86 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,292 [whooshes, clatters] 87 00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,833 -[screams] -[screams] 88 00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:15,292 Aw, man! [grunts] 89 00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:18,292 [groans softly] 90 00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:21,583 -Oh, Bubby. -[both laugh] 91 00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:24,500 [sighs] I'll be right back. 92 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,500 So, we're staying home, right? 93 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,708 [engine roaring] 94 00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:33,875 -Whoa! -[all screaming] 95 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:35,417 -[Manny laughing] -[tires screeching] 96 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,125 -[car honks] -Hey, watch it, road hog! 97 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,583 -[Manny laughs] -[tires screeching] 98 00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,833 Hold on! 99 00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,417 -[screaming] -[Manny] Yeah! 100 00:05:43,292 --> 00:05:45,792 -[people screaming] -[man 1] Hey, we're walkin' here. 101 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,000 [man 2] Drive much? 102 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,792 [woman] Way to spread holiday cheer, Heffleys! 103 00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:52,167 -Uh, Merry Christmas, neighbors. -[man 3] Yeah, hi. 104 00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:56,083 [Frank groaning] See? There aren't any spots left. 105 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,167 [Susan gasping] Ooh, Frank, there's one. 106 00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,667 And the Warrens just took it. 107 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,333 [Frank] Of course, they did. 108 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:07,333 [Greg] The Warren family. Mr. Warren works at the same company as my dad, 109 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,667 -What? -[Greg] but he's a few rungs 110 00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,583 higher up on the ladder than my father. 111 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,833 [chorus singing] ♪ Hallelujah! ♪ 112 00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:13,667 [Greg] They're also our next-door neighbors. 113 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,375 No matter what we do, they're always one-upping our family. 114 00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:18,458 [teeth clattering] 115 00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,417 [video game beeping, chirrups] 116 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,667 [Greg] And I've got nothing against Weston, 117 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,625 but he's always making me look bad. 118 00:06:28,167 --> 00:06:30,583 -Yeah! -Way to stick the landing, son. 119 00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:32,042 [grunting] 120 00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:35,875 Come on. There's gotta be a spot somewhere. Come on, spot. 121 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,167 Where's a spot? Uh, come on. [gasps] 122 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,250 We did it, guys! We made it! 123 00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,083 [church bells tolling] 124 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:47,167 More or less. 125 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,792 Come on, team, we can still make it. 126 00:06:52,042 --> 00:06:53,583 [panting] 127 00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:56,125 [laughs heartily] 128 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,542 -Look at Bubby's butt! -Greg, what happened to your pants? 129 00:07:00,417 --> 00:07:04,042 Huh? [groaning] I must've sat on Manny's Chocolate Santa. 130 00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,500 [sighing] Greg, you gotta be kidding me. 131 00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:09,792 You know what? It's fine. I'm sure no one will notice. 132 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,208 What? I'm not going in there looking like this. 133 00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:14,667 Hold on. I have wet wipes in my purse. 134 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,583 Mom, cut it out. You're making it worse! 135 00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,583 -[Susan] Just hold still. -[camera shutter clicks] 136 00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:22,208 -This is the next Löded Diper album cover. -[camera shutter clicks] 137 00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:23,333 -[chuckles] -[bell tolling] 138 00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:25,583 Come on. The service is about to start. 139 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,667 -[Rodrick] Here. You can wear my pants. -[laughs] 140 00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:30,292 I'll hang back in the car and take one for the team. 141 00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,917 Nice try, Rodrick. Put your pants back on 142 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,333 and just make sure nobody sees you... 143 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:34,750 [Mr. Warren] Merry Christmas, Heffleys. 144 00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:37,208 -Oh, dear. -Lookin'... sharp. 145 00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:39,958 Uh, let me know if I can help, Susan. 146 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,667 [sighs wearily] Merry Christmas, Warrens. 147 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:45,542 Wow, you blew right past us on the road. 148 00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:48,125 I'm surprised that bucket of bolts could move that fast. 149 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:51,208 -Ain't I right, Wes? -Uh... Yeah. [chuckles softly] 150 00:07:51,292 --> 00:07:53,417 Yeah, well, you... you work with what you have. 151 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,208 -[church bell tolling] -All right, Speedy. 152 00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,500 Race you to the last seat. 153 00:07:56,583 --> 00:07:59,417 Wait till you see Weston's fifty-yard dash. Come on, Weston! 154 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:02,083 [sighs wearily] We'll be right behind you. 155 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,542 [Mr. Warren] Come on. Keep up the pace, Weston. 156 00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:05,625 [sighs] 157 00:08:06,292 --> 00:08:07,542 [church bell tolls] 158 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,458 Wait! I got a shortcut. 159 00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,083 But what about Greg's pants? 160 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:16,458 There's no time. Just cover it up with something. 161 00:08:16,542 --> 00:08:18,708 -Like what? -Doesn't matter. Let's go. 162 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,083 Now! 163 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,458 [♪ organ playing, "Joy to the World"] 164 00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:34,833 [indistinct chatter] 165 00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:40,917 -[♪ music concludes] -Mmm-hmm. 166 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,375 [priest] On this beautiful Christmas morning, 167 00:08:43,458 --> 00:08:47,208 it's wonderful looking out over our blessed congregation. 168 00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:48,958 -[doorknob rattling] -[priest yelps] 169 00:08:49,042 --> 00:08:50,042 [woman] What? 170 00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:51,625 -Way to make an entrance. -[people grumble] 171 00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:53,250 -[man] Christmas miracle. -[priest] Uh... 172 00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:56,500 -Christmas is a time of beginnings. -[chuckles nervously] 173 00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,042 All right, everybody. Come on, let's go. 174 00:08:58,125 --> 00:09:02,333 -And it's not just about giving gifts. -Okay, Susan, Manny, 175 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,833 -Rodrick, and... -It's about enjoying the special time 176 00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:08,542 -that you have with your family. -No way. 177 00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:10,833 -Oh, no, you don't! -No, you can't make me do this! 178 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,208 -[grunting] Yes, I can! Come on. Greg! -[grunts] 179 00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:17,875 -When the wise men follow the stars, -[Greg] No. 180 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,833 -blindly into the abyss. -How embarrassing. 181 00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:25,708 [priest] They rose above them. They knew. They knew what they were doing. 182 00:09:25,792 --> 00:09:28,875 -They knew... -Hurry up. Everybody's watching. 183 00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:30,375 [priest] They followed that light, 184 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:33,750 -because they knew at the end of that... -[grunting] 185 00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,042 [yelping] 186 00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:39,125 -Whoa! -[all gasping] 187 00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:40,542 -Oh, my gosh! -Is that... 188 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,542 [laughing] 189 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,042 Somebody's gotta clean that up. 190 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,292 [harmonic wailing, yelps] 191 00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:49,000 -[all gasping] -Yikes! 192 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,125 Glad that's not our boy. 193 00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:51,625 It's Christmas, Walt. 194 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,583 -[exhales] -[indistinct praying] 195 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,542 I'm out. 196 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:03,667 [sighs] Greg. Okay, we're leaving. 197 00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:09,333 [yelps] Chocolate Santa! [wailing] No! 198 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,000 [man] Okay. It's all over. 199 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,333 [chuckles nervously] 200 00:10:13,417 --> 00:10:18,167 Interruptions don't disrupt the spirit. They just remind us that we're all human. 201 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,167 -[shudders] -Yikes! 202 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,417 Is this heaven? 203 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,875 -Oh! There you are. -[yelps] 204 00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:36,500 I've been lookin' all over for you. 205 00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:39,292 I should've known you'd be down here playin' with your toys. 206 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,833 Careful! These aren't toys, Susan. 207 00:10:42,917 --> 00:10:46,792 They're accurate, one-sixteenth scaled miniature Revolutionary War figurines. 208 00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:50,125 Boy, you're a little testy today. Something on your mind? 209 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:54,708 Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, hon. I just can't get over what happened on Christmas. 210 00:10:54,792 --> 00:10:57,875 Frank, that was three days ago. Greg sat in chocolate. 211 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,042 Let's not make a mountain out of a molehill. 212 00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:04,417 Yeah, well... well, Greg has a talent for spinning disasters outta thin air. 213 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,875 But no, th...that's not even what's bothering me. 214 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,792 Susan, our middle schooler didn't even know how to use a key. 215 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:11,750 And now he does. So, what's the big deal? 216 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:15,583 No, Susan, it's... If he didn't know how to use a key... [stutters] 217 00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:17,625 ...what else haven't I taught him? 218 00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:22,792 I just feel like I don't know how to be the father a kid like Greg needs. 219 00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:26,167 I feel like I'm failing him. 220 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:30,583 Well, Greg might have a few surprises up his sleeve. 221 00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:34,667 Did you know that he's startin' a snow removal business with his friend Rowley? 222 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:38,208 A snow removal business? But Greg won't even shovel our driveway. 223 00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:42,042 Why don't you go check on the boys and bring them some hot cocoa? 224 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:45,625 Uh... sure. But wait. Wait, wait, wait. 225 00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,250 What's Greg calling this business of his anyway? 226 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,333 [man] "Beefcake Snow Removal?" Hmm. 227 00:11:52,417 --> 00:11:54,750 Pamper yourself with our award-winning service. 228 00:11:54,833 --> 00:11:56,083 [grunting] 229 00:11:58,333 --> 00:11:59,417 [grunts] 230 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,167 [chuckles nervously] That is, Beefcake Snow Removal 231 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,833 comes with many five-star reviews from loyal customers. 232 00:12:04,917 --> 00:12:07,083 But we haven't had any-- [yelps] 233 00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:09,667 So, uh, when do we start? 234 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,083 -Not today. -Now beat it, punk! 235 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,333 Oh, uh, sorry. That's our only flyer. 236 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:19,208 -[chuckles nervously] -[grunts] 237 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:25,500 [grunts] There's gotta be someone around here who needs their driveway shoveled. 238 00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:27,333 I thought this flyer would work for sure. 239 00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,417 Hmm. 240 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,875 Maybe I should've made my biceps bigger. 241 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:32,625 Do we have to keep doing this? 242 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,167 Me and my dad are supposed to go shopping today. 243 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:38,333 We gotta get our camping gear for the Icy Pines Campout. 244 00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:42,583 The Icy Pines Campout? Really? You're still doing that? 245 00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:43,833 Yeah. Do you wanna come? 246 00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:46,583 The Woodchippers are tryin' to recruit new members? 247 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:50,708 Uh, spending the weekend in a nylon tent with my father in the freezing cold 248 00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,375 is like my worst nightmare. 249 00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:56,583 Well, my dad's my best friend. Uh, second best, I mean, after you. 250 00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,083 Hello, Greg Heffley. 251 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:04,375 Do you wanna play with me and my snow friends? 252 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:06,083 [laughs maliciously] 253 00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:09,250 Maybe later, Fregley. [whispering] Let's get out of here. 254 00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:13,583 -[yelps] -You know where to find us. [laughs] 255 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,000 [panting, sighs] 256 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:18,042 Okay. So, let me get this straight. 257 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:21,125 You actually spent time with your dad? Like, on purpose? 258 00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:24,083 Yeah. My dad's been helpin' me earn my merit badges. 259 00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:28,042 And if I work extra hard, maybe one day I can become... 260 00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:32,042 A Woodchipper Elite! [♪ vocalizing trumpet music] 261 00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,167 [♪ angelic music playing] 262 00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,792 Great job, Rowley. I love you. 263 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,042 Aw. I love you too, Dad. 264 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:42,625 Yeah, that sounds like a lot of effort just to get a stupid patch. 265 00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:45,167 Can't you just buy a used one online or something? 266 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,000 -Of course, you can't! -[Mrs. Canfield groaning] 267 00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:49,000 -You have to-- -Wait. What's that? 268 00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,458 [groans] There goes my back again. 269 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:55,375 -It's Mrs. Canfield. -Maybe we should go help her. 270 00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:58,167 Are you kidding me? This is a business, not a charity. 271 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:02,542 Mrs. Canfield! Are you familiar with the Beefcake Snow Removal service? 272 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:03,708 [growling] 273 00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:06,958 Don't worry. Puddles just had his rabies shot. 274 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:12,458 -[groans] -Baby. [cooing] 275 00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:16,000 Careful. You know how Mrs. Canfield is about her Christmas stuff. 276 00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:18,917 -Sorry. -There, there, sweet boy. 277 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,375 [chuckles nervously] 278 00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:23,000 We don't wanna give her any reason to dock our pay. 279 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:25,708 But this wet snow is so heavy. 280 00:14:27,583 --> 00:14:30,125 Maybe we should wait and let it melt a little. 281 00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,500 No, we've gotta finish this job today. 282 00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:35,458 We just need to figure out a way to make this go quicker. 283 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:39,833 -Does she have a snow blower? -No luck. 284 00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:42,833 But she's got something that's just as good. 285 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,583 -[sighs] How do we turn this thing on? -I don't know. 286 00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:51,042 Maybe this is the power button? 287 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:52,458 -[lawn mower rattles] -[coughs] 288 00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:53,542 Come on, Rowley. 289 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:56,500 If you're gonna work for me, you've gotta know how to do stuff like this. 290 00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:59,500 Work for you? I thought we were partners. 291 00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:04,000 Partners? I'm management, Rowley. You're Labor. Different levels. 292 00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:07,417 Well, I'm not doing this unless we get paid the same. 293 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:11,208 Look, we can talk about adjusting your pay after your six-month review. 294 00:15:11,292 --> 00:15:14,750 But right now, this conversation is cutting into your break time. 295 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:20,125 Oh, yeah? Well, good luck doing this by yourself. I'm going shopping with my dad. 296 00:15:20,208 --> 00:15:23,125 Wait, Rowley! I'll give you a three-percent raise 297 00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:26,583 and a holiday bonus. Oh! Come on! 298 00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,917 What's got my whubby all upset? 299 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,375 [growling] 300 00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:33,917 [chuckles nervously] 301 00:15:35,958 --> 00:15:38,292 Okay. How do we start this thing? 302 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:42,708 -[thumps] -Mmm. Ah-ha! 303 00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:45,167 -[motor sputtering] -[grunting] 304 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,792 -[grunts] -[motor whirring] 305 00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,500 Yes! Here we go. 306 00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:54,792 -[chuckles softly] -[barking] 307 00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,542 That's a good boy. 308 00:15:56,625 --> 00:15:58,500 -[gasps] -[Puddles barking] 309 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,792 -[clinking] -Oops! 310 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:03,208 All right. Not bad, but way too slow. 311 00:16:03,292 --> 00:16:05,250 Let's see what this bad boy can do. 312 00:16:06,125 --> 00:16:08,417 -[motor roaring] -Whoa! 313 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:15,583 [gasps] Carnage! Yay! [chuckles excitedly] 314 00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,667 Whoa! 315 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:20,875 -[man singing] ♪ Silent Night ♪ -[muffled screaming] 316 00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:22,917 [gags, gasps] 317 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,875 Whoa! 318 00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:29,458 -[gasps] -[barking] 319 00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,000 [Greg] No! Bad boy, go away! 320 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,292 [growling] 321 00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:34,792 -[chomps] -[screams] 322 00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,042 -[screams] -[motor roaring] 323 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,250 [groans, screams] 324 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,750 [whimpering] 325 00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:47,500 -[yelps] -[motor roaring] 326 00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,833 [screaming] 327 00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:58,333 [yelping] 328 00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:00,875 Oof! 329 00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:09,708 [yelps] 330 00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,958 -[gasps] -[yelps] 331 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:18,375 [muffled] No! 332 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,375 [♪ triumphant music playing] 333 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,292 [♪ music stops abruptly] 334 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,208 [barking] 335 00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:29,958 Hey, Greg! I brought you boys some hot cocoa-- Oh, no! 336 00:17:30,042 --> 00:17:31,042 [chuckles nervously] 337 00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:32,542 -[chomps] -[yelps] 338 00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,750 [Frank sighing] 339 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,583 Oh, great. We're missing the bolt. 340 00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:40,708 -Greg, find the bolt! -Okay, okay. I'm looking. 341 00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:45,417 So, do you think I should give Mrs. Canfield a discount or something? 342 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,833 [sighing] Greg, what were you thinking? 343 00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:51,292 -Mowing the snow? -I was just tryin' to get it done quicker. 344 00:17:51,375 --> 00:17:53,708 And look at where taking a shortcut got you. 345 00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:56,583 You're gonna have to figure out a way to undo all this damage. 346 00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:57,875 Oh. 347 00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,792 But first, we gotta fix this mower. 348 00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:02,167 And we can't attach the blade if we can't find the bolt. 349 00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:03,250 Huh? 350 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:08,500 Ah! [grunting, exclaiming] Whoo! [grunts] 351 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:14,250 -You lookin' for this, Mr. Heffley? -Oh, yeah, actually. Thanks. 352 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,917 Sorry. Do... Do I know you? 353 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,375 I should hope so. I'm Lenwood, from Whirley Street. 354 00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:21,792 Wait a minute. Lenwood? Not Lenwood Heath? 355 00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,375 Yes, sir. One and the same. 356 00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:26,375 [Greg] The guy standing before us was Lenwood Heath, 357 00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:29,292 who used to be one of the biggest troublemakers in our neighborhood. 358 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,625 -[Lenwood laughs mischievously] -[whistles] 359 00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:31,708 [Greg] And a few years back, 360 00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:34,167 he used to toilet paper our house every Friday night. 361 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,792 Curse you, Lenwood Heath! 362 00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,458 Take that, old man! [laughs mischievously] 363 00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:41,083 [Greg] Then one day, Lenwood was just gone, 364 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,458 and nobody's seen him since. At least until now. 365 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,750 I guess I can't blame you for not recognizing me. 366 00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,958 Spag Union's changed me a lot. 367 00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,833 Spag Union, huh? Is that, like, some sort of private school? 368 00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:57,208 Uh, it's much more than that, Mr. Heffley. It's a military academy. 369 00:18:57,292 --> 00:19:01,083 Cadets sleep in barracks and are up at the crack of dawn for fitness drills. 370 00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:02,458 [electricity crackling] 371 00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:06,583 [grunts] It's where I changed from an unmotivated slacker 372 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,042 to the man you see here before you. 373 00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:12,833 Ooh! Now that's a beefcake. 374 00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:14,750 [Puddles barks, growls excitedly] 375 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:18,000 -[barking] -Aw. Here you go, little buddy. 376 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:19,583 [grunts, exclaims] 377 00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:23,167 You know, I can always put in a good word for Greg, if you'd like. 378 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,958 Spag Union's always looking for raw clay to mold into strong men. 379 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,125 Yeah, that's really not necessary. 380 00:19:29,208 --> 00:19:31,917 Oh, gotta run. It was a pleasure seeing you gentlemen. 381 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,208 Whoo! 382 00:19:33,292 --> 00:19:35,833 Spag Union. Huh. 383 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,125 Oh, boy. 384 00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:43,875 [Drill Sergeant] Tradition. Leadership. Character building. 385 00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:47,875 These are the principals that guide our mission at Spag Union. 386 00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:50,292 When you send your child to Spag Union, 387 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:53,542 you're entrusting us to help them reach their potential. 388 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:58,458 At Spag Union, we believe strict rules and regulations help build character 389 00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:00,583 and create confident young men. 390 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:05,417 Aimless days of playing video games and reading comic books 391 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:09,500 are replaced by days full of strenuous physical activity... 392 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:10,625 [muffled yelling] 393 00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:12,875 [Drill Sergeant] ...that begin before the crack of dawn. 394 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:17,375 We're confident that our time-tested methods will shape your son... 395 00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:18,708 Mmm-hmm. 396 00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:21,125 ...into the man he's destined to become. 397 00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:22,208 -Hut! Hut! -Hmm. 398 00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:26,333 Spag Union. Because your child's future is worth it. 399 00:20:28,542 --> 00:20:31,500 And there you go. Pretty cool, right? 400 00:20:31,583 --> 00:20:35,250 Nuh-uh. No way. I wouldn't survive the first day at a place like that. 401 00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:37,792 I admit you might be a little uncomfortable at first, 402 00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,542 but I'm sure you'll adjust. 403 00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:43,500 But that place probably has open showers. I can't do open showers. 404 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,292 Oh, I'm sure it can't be that bad, Greg. 405 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,000 We'll break your son down and build him back up. 406 00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,083 -Manny, stop it! -Ha! 407 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,208 Uh, Mom, help me out here. 408 00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:55,042 He's got a point, Frank. 409 00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:58,917 I can't see us sending Greg off to an expensive boarding school. 410 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,167 We can barely afford name-brand peanut butter. 411 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,292 Uh, we would be investing in our son, Susan. 412 00:21:04,375 --> 00:21:07,292 A school like this could teach him valuable life lessons. 413 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,333 Life lessons, Susan. 414 00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:12,167 Well, life lessons are important. 415 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:15,958 You should send Rodrick there instead. He needs this way more than I do. 416 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:20,333 Nah, it's too late to change me. My personality's locked-in. 417 00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:22,625 [belches] 418 00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:26,333 Our job is to make up for your parenting deficiencies. 419 00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:30,292 Uh, okay, but what if I can teach myself life lessons? 420 00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:32,667 Well, these skills are hard, Greg. 421 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,375 And you can't learn them without proper instruction. 422 00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:38,042 Um... Uh... Um... 423 00:21:38,125 --> 00:21:39,333 [gasps] 424 00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:44,500 Actually, I've been thinking about joining the Woodchippers. 425 00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:46,708 They teach you all this self-improvement stuff. 426 00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:49,458 Oh. The Woodchippers, huh? 427 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:53,375 You were a Woodchipper when you were Greg's age, weren't you, Frank? 428 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:56,000 Really? Dad, I didn't know that. 429 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,708 Yeah, I... [stutters] ...for a little while. 430 00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:00,333 Well, this is perfect. 431 00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:04,917 What if I could become Woodchipper Elite? Then would I have to go to Spag Union? 432 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,708 A... A Woodchipper Elite? Wow, Greg, you know that's no joke. 433 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:11,958 Nobody in my grade ever earned that rank. 434 00:22:12,042 --> 00:22:14,833 But what if Greg could become a Woodchipper Elite? 435 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,875 Would that change your mind about sendin' him to Spag Union? 436 00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,958 Yeah, I don't think he can pull this off on his own. 437 00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:24,625 Especially not before the Spag Union registration deadline. 438 00:22:24,708 --> 00:22:26,500 Well, why would he have to do it on his own 439 00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,458 when his father will be right there with him... 440 00:22:28,542 --> 00:22:30,417 [echoing] ...every step of the way. 441 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,917 [in normal voice] You got this, Dad. Go get 'em, Greg. 442 00:22:36,417 --> 00:22:39,167 So, uh... when do we get started? 443 00:22:40,250 --> 00:22:41,458 [groans] 444 00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:46,083 [♪ trumpet blasts] 445 00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:49,250 [indistinct chatter] 446 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,458 All right, not bad. Uh... 447 00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,375 You know what, Weston? That, uh... 448 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:57,000 That fox is lookin' more like a dog. [chuckles softly] 449 00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,542 -You can fix it real quick. Come on. -I'm trying, Dad. 450 00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:02,917 Hey, Fregley, what you got goin' over here? 451 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,375 [growls] 452 00:23:04,458 --> 00:23:08,542 -Huh? Okay. That is a little terrifying. -[chuckles softly] 453 00:23:08,625 --> 00:23:11,500 Ouch! I got a splinter! 454 00:23:11,583 --> 00:23:15,333 I told you that would happen. This is why you should be using soap instead of wood. 455 00:23:16,542 --> 00:23:19,083 Look, it's a sheep! [mimicking bleats] 456 00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:21,500 All right, I found some extra supplies in the back. 457 00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,625 -Let's get started. -Eh. I'm good with soap. 458 00:23:23,708 --> 00:23:26,125 -[sighs wearily] -I don't know if you heard, 459 00:23:26,208 --> 00:23:28,875 whittling requires wood, young man. 460 00:23:28,958 --> 00:23:31,708 Well, yeah. That's what I'm tryin' to tell him, Troopmaster Barrett. 461 00:23:31,792 --> 00:23:36,167 I seem to recall a certain young woodchipper who also liked to cut corners. 462 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:41,000 Didn't you turn in a store-bought wood carvin' to try to earn your badge, Frank? 463 00:23:41,083 --> 00:23:44,542 Yeah, well, I... I couldn't get the hang of the whole whittling thing. 464 00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:48,000 One sec. Troopmaster Barrett was in charge when you were a Woodchipper? 465 00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:51,958 Yeah. And he was just as strict about badge requirements back then. 466 00:23:52,042 --> 00:23:55,833 No one said the Path to Woodchipper Elite was easy. 467 00:23:55,917 --> 00:23:58,375 The real work comes here. 468 00:24:00,083 --> 00:24:05,333 Orienteering, knot tying, rock climbing, home repair, ventriloquism. 469 00:24:05,417 --> 00:24:06,958 [gasps, laughs mischievously] 470 00:24:07,042 --> 00:24:08,917 [Master Barrett] And the Path to Woodchipper Elite 471 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,083 isn't complete until you've earned the most difficult badge of them all! 472 00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:16,458 Wilderness Survival. 473 00:24:16,542 --> 00:24:20,083 Which can only be earned at the Icy Pines Campout. 474 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:23,333 Frank, you're in charge of signing off on Greg's badge requirements. 475 00:24:23,417 --> 00:24:25,125 -Think you can handle that? -[sighs wearily] 476 00:24:25,208 --> 00:24:28,125 Yes, sir, Troopmaster Barrett, sir. [yelps] 477 00:24:28,208 --> 00:24:32,833 All right. Better get crackin'. You've got a lotta catchin' up to do, you two. 478 00:24:35,417 --> 00:24:38,375 Do you wanna be my special wilderness buddy? 479 00:24:38,458 --> 00:24:39,792 [laughs mischievously] 480 00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:46,042 [people grunting] 481 00:24:47,042 --> 00:24:48,542 [grunting] 482 00:24:50,708 --> 00:24:51,708 Huh? 483 00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:53,667 Okay, 484 00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:57,000 I think we've covered the requirements for the Physical Fitness badge. 485 00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:59,917 No, we haven't scratched the surface on the requirements, Greg. 486 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,625 The manual says you have to be able to do a hundred push-ups 487 00:25:02,708 --> 00:25:06,042 and run a mile in under six minutes. And that's just for starters. 488 00:25:06,125 --> 00:25:08,000 Yeah, but can't you just say 489 00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:10,667 I did all that stuff so we can move on to something else? 490 00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,875 You have a responsibility to complete them, Greg. 491 00:25:12,958 --> 00:25:15,167 Plus, I promised Troopmaster Barrett that 492 00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:17,792 I wouldn't sign off until they've actually been done. 493 00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:18,917 Uh... 494 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,250 Now come on, hop on that fitness ball and let's get sweatin'. 495 00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:26,250 [rhythmic grunting] 496 00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,750 Yo, Heffley! Heads up! 497 00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:30,292 [yelps, groans softly] 498 00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:32,583 Ooh. Sorry. I thought you could handle it. 499 00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:34,375 Give me a little warning next time. 500 00:25:34,458 --> 00:25:36,500 Uh... What's with the bouncy balls? 501 00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:39,958 They're called stability balls, and they're used to build up your balance 502 00:25:40,042 --> 00:25:41,042 and core strength. 503 00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,417 All right, no need to get defensive. 504 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:46,750 You guys do you. Me and Weston are gonna go hit the treadmill. 505 00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:49,583 My boy's gotta build up his endurance for winter soccer. 506 00:25:49,667 --> 00:25:51,708 We could always use a backup goalie, Greg. 507 00:25:51,792 --> 00:25:56,000 -Uh... Yeah, I'm good. -All right, good talk. 508 00:25:56,083 --> 00:26:00,292 Hmm. Winter soccer, huh? What do you think, Greg? 509 00:26:00,375 --> 00:26:03,667 Being a part of a team sport is one of the Physical Fitness requirements. 510 00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:07,292 Yeah, I'm kinda focused on building muscle right now. 511 00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:11,292 So, I'm gonna go hit the weights, pump a little iron. 512 00:26:12,083 --> 00:26:15,333 Great idea. I'm gonna hit the head and then I'll come spot you. 513 00:26:15,417 --> 00:26:21,917 Okay, party people. I wanna see you sweat. Let's pick it up. You got this. 514 00:26:22,542 --> 00:26:25,208 [man grunting] I'm not sweaty, I'm sparkling. 515 00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:28,167 [woman] You know how ridiculous we all look? 516 00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:33,125 [grunting] 517 00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:36,042 -[yelps, gags] -Whoa! 518 00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:38,125 -Let me help you with that, sir. -[straining] Help. 519 00:26:38,208 --> 00:26:41,458 Ah-ha! It looks like you might've put too much weight on this. 520 00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:42,875 [yelping] Whoa! 521 00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:48,083 Beautiful. Don't give up. 522 00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:49,583 Whoa! 523 00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:50,875 [all yelping] 524 00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:52,625 [yelping] 525 00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:54,542 [water flushes] 526 00:26:54,625 --> 00:26:57,417 -Huh? Greg? -[chuckles sheepishly] 527 00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,583 I don't see you sweating! 528 00:26:59,667 --> 00:27:01,667 [school bell ringing] 529 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:03,167 [Greg] Last night was a disaster. 530 00:27:03,250 --> 00:27:06,542 Did I tell you they permanently banned me and my dad from the gym? 531 00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:10,375 Hey, Greg. That was wild at the gym last night. 532 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,708 Yeah, uh, sorry about that. 533 00:27:12,792 --> 00:27:15,792 Then how are you gonna earn your Physical Fitness badge? 534 00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,958 I just need to change my strategy. 535 00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:20,833 Get a few easy wins, and then tackle the hard stuff later. 536 00:27:20,917 --> 00:27:23,208 But if I don't start knocking down these badges, 537 00:27:23,292 --> 00:27:26,542 I'm gonna spend the next four years at a military academy. 538 00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:29,333 But you can't leave me behind with these people! 539 00:27:29,417 --> 00:27:32,000 Then help me figure out how I can earn these badges. 540 00:27:32,917 --> 00:27:36,417 Patty for Treasurer. Can I count on your vote, Greg Heffley? 541 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,750 [Greg] Ugh! Patty Farrell. She and I go way back. 542 00:27:40,333 --> 00:27:42,708 In the sixth grade, Patty was the class monitor, 543 00:27:42,792 --> 00:27:45,292 so she was in charge when the teacher left the room. 544 00:27:45,375 --> 00:27:47,542 And she'd never let anyone use the restroom. 545 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:50,042 May I please be excused? 546 00:27:50,125 --> 00:27:52,917 -Hmm. I don't think so. -[groans] 547 00:27:53,458 --> 00:27:54,875 So I decided to pay her back 548 00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:58,250 in what people are still calling The Wizard of Oz incident. 549 00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,792 And even though I was just tryin' to have a little fun, 550 00:28:02,417 --> 00:28:04,250 the principal banned school plays for the year. 551 00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:05,333 [growling, snarling] 552 00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,458 [Greg] And I don't think Patty's gotten over it yet. 553 00:28:07,542 --> 00:28:09,667 Scrumptious! [chuckles] 554 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,417 So, are you voting for me or not? 555 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,375 Whoa, easy with the lollipops, Patty. 556 00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:16,792 -Here you go, Rowley. -Thanks, Patty. 557 00:28:17,667 --> 00:28:20,958 -So, when are these elections? -Uh, tomorrow. 558 00:28:21,042 --> 00:28:23,667 Did you not notice all my posters? 559 00:28:24,167 --> 00:28:27,833 Oh. Sorry. I guess I'm just not that interested in politics. 560 00:28:27,917 --> 00:28:31,542 If you can't bother to fulfill your basic duties as a good citizen, 561 00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:33,125 you don't deserve this. 562 00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:35,500 Patty for Treasurer! 563 00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:38,042 -All right! Passionfruit! -Mmm. 564 00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:41,500 Hmm. 565 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,042 Hey! I found another gym twenty minutes from here. 566 00:28:48,125 --> 00:28:50,875 I'm pretty sure they haven't heard about what happened last night. 567 00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:53,792 Here you go, sweetie. Hopefully some of these still work. 568 00:28:53,875 --> 00:28:55,292 -Thanks, Mom. -What is this, 569 00:28:55,375 --> 00:28:57,333 some sort of arts and crafts project? 570 00:28:57,417 --> 00:29:00,208 I thought I'd circle back to the physical fitness stuff later on. 571 00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:02,333 I'm gonna earn my leadership badge, 572 00:29:02,417 --> 00:29:05,083 and that starts by getting elected to Student Council. 573 00:29:05,167 --> 00:29:07,083 Weren't you on Student Council? 574 00:29:07,167 --> 00:29:10,083 Well, yeah. I was Class Treasurer. Wait till you see my poster. 575 00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:12,500 [objects clattering] 576 00:29:12,583 --> 00:29:14,000 Ah-ha! Found it! 577 00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:18,167 Okay, well, you two fellow treasurers have fun. 578 00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:20,917 Ah! This one got me elected in seventh grade. 579 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,792 Look at that handsome guy. 580 00:29:22,875 --> 00:29:24,875 [Greg] "Bank on Frank?" 581 00:29:25,083 --> 00:29:27,625 Pretty cool, right? Huh? Because it rhymes. [laughs exultantly] 582 00:29:27,708 --> 00:29:29,625 People eat that stuff up. 583 00:29:29,708 --> 00:29:34,292 Right. Sorry, I just don't think that would work on kids these days. 584 00:29:34,375 --> 00:29:37,667 Well, suit yourself, just don't go negative. 585 00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,750 What do you mean, "go negative?" 586 00:29:39,833 --> 00:29:42,333 Politics has gotten way too nasty, Greg. 587 00:29:42,417 --> 00:29:44,958 Nowadays it's all just a race to the bottom. 588 00:29:45,042 --> 00:29:47,583 That's it! I think I know how I can win. 589 00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:50,125 Well, great! How about I help with your posters? 590 00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:53,167 You know what? You deserve a little time to yourself. 591 00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:55,625 -I'm all set with this. -All right. 592 00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:59,625 Well, I'll be working on my Revolutionary War diorama downstairs if anyone needs me. 593 00:29:59,708 --> 00:30:01,042 Thanks again. 594 00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:05,125 Susan, I think I actually might be starting to reach him. 595 00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:08,375 -Good job, honey. -[sighs in relief] 596 00:30:09,042 --> 00:30:11,625 [Greg] "Don't get the Patty Farrell Touch?" 597 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:15,167 You know, like the Cheese Touch. Remember the Cheese? 598 00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,333 [child] The Cheese Touch! 599 00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:19,417 Yeah, I remember. 600 00:30:20,125 --> 00:30:23,875 No one will wanna vote for her if she has the Patty Farrell touch! 601 00:30:23,958 --> 00:30:25,375 But this is so mean. 602 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,667 Look, Rowley, if you wanna actually win, 603 00:30:27,750 --> 00:30:29,708 you gotta be willing to get down in the mud. 604 00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:32,542 But a Woodchipper is supposed to be morally clean. 605 00:30:32,625 --> 00:30:34,583 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 606 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:37,250 Look, you don't want me to go to Spag Union, do ya? 607 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:38,833 You can get in trouble for these. 608 00:30:38,917 --> 00:30:40,958 That's what's so genius about my campaign. 609 00:30:41,042 --> 00:30:43,125 My name's not on any of these posters. 610 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:46,917 The only way they'd find out is if they literally caught me putting one up. 611 00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:48,833 Now, hand me some tape. 612 00:30:48,917 --> 00:30:50,917 -[growling] -[gasps] 613 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,750 -[chuckles nervously] -Busted! 614 00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,125 You got this, Greg! 615 00:30:57,542 --> 00:31:00,125 [grunting] 616 00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:02,792 [grunts] 617 00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:09,375 -[grunts] -[all laughing] 618 00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:19,625 First time in detention? I haven't seen you around here before. 619 00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:21,792 Yeah. But I don't belong here. 620 00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:25,083 Welcome to the club. Every single person in here is innocent. 621 00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:28,875 Innocent? Leon Rickett threw a dictionary through a window in homeroom. 622 00:31:29,875 --> 00:31:33,125 [rhythmic grunting, grunts] 623 00:31:34,458 --> 00:31:37,083 I don't deserve to be in here with these future criminals! 624 00:31:37,167 --> 00:31:38,750 -[grunts] -Uh... 625 00:31:38,833 --> 00:31:40,958 -No offense, Leon. -[grunts] 626 00:31:41,042 --> 00:31:45,792 So, what'd they nail you for? Vandalism? Arson? Fighting on school property? 627 00:31:45,875 --> 00:31:49,458 Nothing like that. I just made some Student Council posters they didn't like. 628 00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:52,333 Huh. Politics. It's a dirty business. 629 00:31:52,417 --> 00:31:55,583 [sighs] It's just that my dad already thinks I'm a screw-up. 630 00:31:55,667 --> 00:31:59,792 And if he finds out about this, then he's gonna send me to Spag Union for sure. 631 00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:02,333 -Spag Union? -[shushes, stutters] Who said that? 632 00:32:04,375 --> 00:32:05,667 [grunts] 633 00:32:05,750 --> 00:32:09,958 -That place will eat you alive. -Yeah, no kidding. 634 00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:12,250 Well, what if I had something 635 00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:15,375 that could turn things around between you and your pops? 636 00:32:15,458 --> 00:32:17,667 -What do you mean? -Let's just say 637 00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:22,833 I've got access to some materials I've collected in my five years here. 638 00:32:22,917 --> 00:32:25,042 You've been in middle school for five years? 639 00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:26,542 Hey, practice makes perfect. 640 00:32:27,417 --> 00:32:30,417 "Student of the Week?" Where'd you even get this? 641 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,083 That's not important. What's important 642 00:32:33,167 --> 00:32:36,500 is that you make things right with you and your dad. 643 00:32:38,167 --> 00:32:41,583 Wait, what would something like that cost? 644 00:32:41,667 --> 00:32:45,333 One bumper sticker for one lunch snack. I've got a real sweet tooth. 645 00:32:45,417 --> 00:32:47,875 I don't know. That's pretty steep. 646 00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:49,375 Oh, that's all right. 647 00:32:49,458 --> 00:32:53,792 I've got plenty of other customers who need to score points on the home front. 648 00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:59,250 Okay, done! I'll give you my snack tomorrow. 649 00:32:59,333 --> 00:33:03,958 Oh, yeah, I should've mentioned. There's just one catch. 650 00:33:04,667 --> 00:33:07,333 To do the deal, you gotta buy the whole pack of fifty. 651 00:33:07,417 --> 00:33:10,083 -One snack per sticker. -Fifty? 652 00:33:10,167 --> 00:33:11,542 Hey! Who said that! 653 00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:13,958 [grunts] Slackers! 654 00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:17,375 But that would be all my snacks for the rest of the school year. 655 00:33:17,458 --> 00:33:20,833 Hey, nobody said impressing your old man was gonna be cheap. 656 00:33:20,917 --> 00:33:23,875 -So, what's it gonna be? -Uh, um... 657 00:33:25,708 --> 00:33:28,750 [Frank] "Student of the Week?" [gasps] 658 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:33,042 This is unbelievable. What did you do to earn this, Greg? 659 00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,833 Well, I've been trying to step up my game at school. 660 00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,583 I guess somebody finally noticed. 661 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:39,000 -I'd say! -[Manny exclaiming excitedly] 662 00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:42,333 Just don't put it on a notebook, this thing's a bully magnet. 663 00:33:42,417 --> 00:33:44,000 -Mine. -We could put it on the van. 664 00:33:44,083 --> 00:33:46,542 The van? But that's already covered in bumper stickers. 665 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,708 No, this deserves a place of honor. 666 00:33:48,792 --> 00:33:51,750 Ooh! Stickers! [chuckles] 667 00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:53,875 -[gasps] -Aw! 668 00:33:53,958 --> 00:33:57,958 Actually, I really don't wanna show off. I'd like to stay humble. 669 00:33:58,042 --> 00:34:01,208 An accomplishment like this is worth bragging about, Greg. 670 00:34:01,292 --> 00:34:05,708 And hey, it looks like this earns you your Scholarship merit badge. 671 00:34:05,792 --> 00:34:08,625 And that gets you a signature. 672 00:34:08,708 --> 00:34:14,125 And if you're elected Class Treasurer, you've got Leadership in the bag. 673 00:34:14,208 --> 00:34:16,792 [chuckles nervously] Fingers crossed on that one. 674 00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:20,833 Maybe your accomplishments will inspire other people in the family 675 00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,333 to step up their game. 676 00:34:22,417 --> 00:34:23,792 -[both] Hmm. -[chuckles] 677 00:34:27,958 --> 00:34:29,292 What are y'all lookin' at? 678 00:34:29,917 --> 00:34:31,667 You've got the ball rollin' now, Greg. 679 00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:34,458 What do you say we knock through the rest of the badges together? 680 00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:37,667 Together? Um, uh... That's okay. 681 00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:40,667 I perform better when I'm flying solo. 682 00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:43,208 Are you kidding? We're partners in this, son. 683 00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:46,833 From now on, we're gonna be attached at the hip. 684 00:34:46,917 --> 00:34:47,958 Great. 685 00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:53,875 Trust me at first, I wasn't crazy about spending so much time with my dad. 686 00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:56,333 -[both grunting] -[groans] 687 00:34:56,417 --> 00:34:58,708 Because I'm the kinda person who needs his space. 688 00:34:58,792 --> 00:35:01,208 No, Greg. Okay. Your pulling it. 689 00:35:01,292 --> 00:35:05,208 [Greg] But once my dad gets excited about something, he's like a dog with a bone. 690 00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:08,833 -Whoa! No, no, no! -Whoa! 691 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:10,792 [laughs] 692 00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:15,292 [Greg] So, I could tell I needed to do things his way and push through it. 693 00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,542 Even though things can get a little uncomfortable from time to time... 694 00:35:19,625 --> 00:35:20,625 -Yes! -[groans softly] 695 00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:22,583 [Greg] ...at least we're having some fun trying. 696 00:35:23,708 --> 00:35:26,167 I've gotta admit, it doesn't been all bad. 697 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,500 I don't wanna get too corny or anything... 698 00:35:29,583 --> 00:35:31,708 -[groans softly] -...but maybe we're actually starting 699 00:35:31,792 --> 00:35:33,958 -to get the hang of this father-son thing. -[both laugh] 700 00:35:40,708 --> 00:35:45,208 Easy. They have a tight grip, so you just gotta angle it in there. 701 00:35:45,292 --> 00:35:46,292 [Greg] Oh, shoot! 702 00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:49,083 -Sorry. -Ah. Don't worry about it. 703 00:35:49,167 --> 00:35:51,583 He can be the scout on the lookout for the rebel army. 704 00:35:51,667 --> 00:35:54,792 I think you should put these cannons up on this hill with these guys. 705 00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:57,250 They'd have a better chance against these other guys. 706 00:35:57,333 --> 00:35:59,458 Well, the Seventh Regiment didn't have cannons. 707 00:35:59,542 --> 00:36:01,250 That's what made the Continental Army's 708 00:36:01,333 --> 00:36:04,083 victory against the British so much more significant. 709 00:36:04,167 --> 00:36:07,000 They never gave up in the face of a challenge. 710 00:36:07,917 --> 00:36:10,042 So, why do you like doing this so much? 711 00:36:10,125 --> 00:36:14,417 Well, when I'm working on my diorama, I feel like I'm in control, 712 00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:17,292 and I don't always feel that way in real life. 713 00:36:17,917 --> 00:36:20,583 I guess it's my way of making sense of things. 714 00:36:20,667 --> 00:36:23,167 Huh. Yeah, I get that. 715 00:36:24,042 --> 00:36:26,708 So, what did you come down here for anyway? 716 00:36:26,792 --> 00:36:30,417 -Are you working on your Hobbying badge? -Nah. I just wanted to hang out. 717 00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:34,708 Oh, yeah, I did wanna show you something. 718 00:36:35,208 --> 00:36:38,292 Safety Patrol? Is this for your Citizenship badge? 719 00:36:38,375 --> 00:36:41,875 Yep, it's one of the last big ones I've gotta earn to get to Woodchipper Elite. 720 00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:44,083 Yeah, you're gettin' pretty close by now. 721 00:36:44,167 --> 00:36:46,375 By the time the Icy Pines Campout rolls around, 722 00:36:46,458 --> 00:36:49,542 I'll bet the only badge you'll have left is Wilderness Survival. 723 00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:52,167 Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. 724 00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:56,208 After everything you've accomplished son, that one will be a piece of cake. 725 00:36:57,042 --> 00:36:59,750 Huh? Looks like they gave you a hand-me-down vest. 726 00:36:59,833 --> 00:37:02,000 Yeah. Rowley got a used one, too. 727 00:37:02,083 --> 00:37:04,750 That's what you get for joining in the middle of the year, I guess. 728 00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:07,167 So what intersection did they put you two in charge of? 729 00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:12,292 Actually, Mrs. Winsky put us in charge of walking the kindergarteners to school. 730 00:37:12,375 --> 00:37:14,167 So, diaper duty, basically. 731 00:37:14,250 --> 00:37:16,625 Hey, that's a lotta responsibility. 732 00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,083 Mrs. Winsky must see somethin' special in you. 733 00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:24,458 Now, just promise me you boys will keep those kids outta harm's way. 734 00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:25,625 [Greg] Yes, sir! 735 00:37:25,708 --> 00:37:28,250 At ease, soldier. And dismissed. 736 00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,000 [both laugh] 737 00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:31,625 Later, Dad. 738 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:34,542 Huh. That was nice. 739 00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:36,250 No! 740 00:37:37,750 --> 00:37:39,333 Come on! 741 00:37:39,417 --> 00:37:41,125 [alarm buzzing] 742 00:37:42,125 --> 00:37:43,250 [yawning] 743 00:37:45,583 --> 00:37:47,167 Go get 'em, son. 744 00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,875 You got it, Dad. 745 00:37:48,958 --> 00:37:50,167 I'm all over it. 746 00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:52,500 [groaning] 747 00:37:52,583 --> 00:37:54,917 [indistinct chatter, singing] 748 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,917 Petey, one hand on the rope, please. 749 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,708 Let's keep it to the sidewalk. 750 00:38:01,792 --> 00:38:05,042 I think we should ask Mrs. Winsky for a new assignment. 751 00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:07,625 We shouldn't be in charge of all these kids. 752 00:38:07,708 --> 00:38:09,417 I just need to do this for a few days 753 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,667 so I can fulfill my Public Safety requirements, 754 00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:12,917 then we can quit. 755 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,583 My dad's been signing off on this stuff left and right. 756 00:38:15,667 --> 00:38:17,917 Did your dad ever find out you got detention? 757 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,167 No, and he can't find out! 758 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:22,875 Right now, I'm a lock for getting out of Spag Union, 759 00:38:22,958 --> 00:38:25,583 -and I can't do anything to mess that up. -[grunting] 760 00:38:25,667 --> 00:38:28,875 Greg? I think Mikey might need to go to the bathroom. 761 00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:31,542 Mikey, we talked about this. 762 00:38:31,625 --> 00:38:34,542 You're supposed to save your juice box for snack time. 763 00:38:34,625 --> 00:38:36,583 Look, Rowley, you're gonna have to turn around 764 00:38:36,667 --> 00:38:38,792 and take Mikey home so he can use the potty. 765 00:38:38,875 --> 00:38:41,417 But then I'd be late for school. Why can't you do it? 766 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,417 I already got detention once this quarter. 767 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:46,208 And if you get it a second time, the school calls your home. 768 00:38:46,292 --> 00:38:48,583 -[all groaning] -Greg! 769 00:38:48,667 --> 00:38:52,125 Seriously, guys? We can't take our eyes off you for one second? 770 00:38:52,208 --> 00:38:53,875 [children laughing] 771 00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:55,250 [Greg] This is disgusting. 772 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:56,667 There are worms in this slop. 773 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,417 [children gasping] Worm! 774 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,250 No! Don't run away! 775 00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:03,458 -[groans softly] -[children screaming] 776 00:39:04,417 --> 00:39:06,042 -[both] No! -[car honking] 777 00:39:06,875 --> 00:39:10,042 Is that my dad? 778 00:39:10,125 --> 00:39:11,708 ♪ U can't touch this ♪ 779 00:39:11,792 --> 00:39:15,292 -Rowley, go get those kids out of there. -[yelps] 780 00:39:17,750 --> 00:39:19,500 [Frank] Hey, son. 781 00:39:19,583 --> 00:39:21,292 -[children screaming] -Got your hot chocolate, 782 00:39:21,375 --> 00:39:23,167 whipped cream and everything. 783 00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:25,333 Is this a new car? 784 00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:27,583 Well, leased. I'm paying month to month. 785 00:39:27,667 --> 00:39:30,667 I needed a nice way to display your bumper sticker. 786 00:39:30,750 --> 00:39:33,042 Wow. Looks great. 787 00:39:34,208 --> 00:39:39,042 Wait, aren't you guys supposed to be walking the kindergartners to school? 788 00:39:39,125 --> 00:39:41,000 Uh, yeah. I went ahead of Rowley 789 00:39:41,083 --> 00:39:43,000 to make sure the route was safe for the kids. 790 00:39:43,083 --> 00:39:44,917 -[screams] -Well, just make sure you keep those kids 791 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,417 clear of that construction site. 792 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:49,292 Oh, yeah, I was planning on taping it off. 793 00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:51,125 -Initiative, I like it. -[yelps] 794 00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:53,083 I'll see ya back at home base after school. 795 00:39:53,167 --> 00:39:55,958 Then we can start on your Genealogy badge requirements. 796 00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,958 Looking forward to it. [chuckles] 797 00:39:58,042 --> 00:39:59,875 -Please leave. -[car engine starts] 798 00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,958 -Whew! That was close. -[children laughing] 799 00:40:05,042 --> 00:40:06,542 Do you think we got all of them? 800 00:40:06,625 --> 00:40:07,833 I think so. 801 00:40:07,917 --> 00:40:09,875 [vocalizing] Prink! 802 00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:13,500 [giggling] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 803 00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:16,708 Whoa! Ooh! 804 00:40:16,792 --> 00:40:18,500 -Let's get these kids to school. -[kids chuckling] 805 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,917 [crackling, gurgling] 806 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,458 [Rowley] Uh, Greg? 807 00:40:22,917 --> 00:40:24,375 Oh, no. 808 00:40:24,458 --> 00:40:26,583 [children laughing] 809 00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:30,583 Zooee mama! 810 00:40:30,667 --> 00:40:33,750 -[Mrs. Winsky] Ugh! Really? -[indistinct grumbling over phone] 811 00:40:33,833 --> 00:40:36,917 [Mrs. Winsky] Yes, I understand concrete is expensive these days. 812 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,125 I'm dealing with the perpetrator now. 813 00:40:40,167 --> 00:40:43,500 Do you know what the most important tenet of the Safety Patrol is? 814 00:40:43,583 --> 00:40:45,333 Uh, bravery? No, no, wait! 815 00:40:45,417 --> 00:40:46,917 -Cheerfulness? -Safety! 816 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,625 And today, you and your partner abandoned that principle. 817 00:40:49,708 --> 00:40:52,958 I know, but I promise we won't let it happen again. 818 00:40:53,042 --> 00:40:57,000 A neighbor reported watching a Safety Patrol matching your description 819 00:40:57,083 --> 00:41:00,750 terrorizing kindergartners with a live worm. 820 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:04,333 -But, Mrs. Winsky, I was only trying to-- -Your menacing behavior 821 00:41:04,417 --> 00:41:08,375 towards those children resulted in damage to a homeowner's driveway. 822 00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:10,792 I'm afraid you're gonna have to surrender your vest and badge. 823 00:41:11,542 --> 00:41:13,333 I understand, Mrs. Winsky. 824 00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:17,917 Furthermore, I'll be calling your parents to let them know about your suspension. 825 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,167 -[huffs] -But, Mrs. Winsky, you don't understand. 826 00:41:21,250 --> 00:41:23,083 If my dad finds out about this, he'll-- 827 00:41:23,167 --> 00:41:25,458 That's enough. You're excused. 828 00:41:26,417 --> 00:41:27,750 "Duffley." 829 00:41:28,583 --> 00:41:29,583 Duffley? 830 00:41:29,667 --> 00:41:31,167 Now get back to class, Craig. 831 00:41:32,292 --> 00:41:34,583 Uh... Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Winsky. 832 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:37,000 I guarantee you, I'll learn from this experience. 833 00:41:37,083 --> 00:41:38,958 Or my name's not Craig Duffley. 834 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:40,583 Which it is. 835 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:43,250 Oh, kids. 836 00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:45,167 I don't like them. 837 00:41:45,667 --> 00:41:48,667 [♪ lively music playing, "U Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer] 838 00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,917 What's up, neighbor? 839 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,583 Whoa! Sweet ride, Heffley. 840 00:41:57,667 --> 00:41:59,292 You win the lottery or something? 841 00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:02,958 Well, let's just say I decided it was time to treat myself. 842 00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:04,833 [Mr. Warren] "Student of the Week?" 843 00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:07,625 Hold up. Which one of your boys scored that? 844 00:42:07,708 --> 00:42:10,250 Greg. He's been on a roll lately. 845 00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:14,250 Did you know he's just a few badges shy of earning Woodchipper Elite. 846 00:42:14,958 --> 00:42:18,292 So how's Weston doing on his path to Woodchipper Elite? 847 00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:20,750 Well, my boy's been little busy with sports. 848 00:42:20,833 --> 00:42:24,458 Did you know Weston just got named pre-season all-star? 849 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,792 That's not even a thing, Dad. 850 00:42:26,875 --> 00:42:28,125 But it should be. 851 00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:30,958 So, how's your boy doing with that Physical Fitness badge? 852 00:42:31,042 --> 00:42:33,625 Still doin' that bouncy ball stuff? [chuckles softly] 853 00:42:33,708 --> 00:42:35,875 He's been a little busy with Safety Patrols. 854 00:42:35,958 --> 00:42:38,167 I think he's got a shot at being named captain. 855 00:42:38,792 --> 00:42:41,333 Well, speak of the devil. 856 00:42:41,833 --> 00:42:44,333 Hey, Greg, where's your Safety Patrol gear? 857 00:42:44,417 --> 00:42:46,000 Mr. Warren wanted to check it out. 858 00:42:46,083 --> 00:42:48,375 I must have left it in my locker. 859 00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:50,792 Wait, did you guys hear about those Safety Patrols, 860 00:42:50,875 --> 00:42:54,250 who chased those kindergartners through that freshly poured driveway this morning? 861 00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:57,500 Ooh! I heard they caused a ton of damage. 862 00:42:57,583 --> 00:43:00,917 Well, uh, you know, as much as I'd like to hang with you fellas, 863 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,583 me and Weston gotta get over to the sports complex. 864 00:43:03,667 --> 00:43:06,583 Hey, is there any room on that team of yours for Greg? 865 00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,000 -Dad! -[Mr. Warren] That depends. 866 00:43:08,083 --> 00:43:10,083 Does Greg have any playing experience? 867 00:43:10,167 --> 00:43:12,000 Well, he was a midfielder back in, uh... 868 00:43:12,083 --> 00:43:13,917 When... when was that again, Greg? 869 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,125 -Preschool. -Preschool! 870 00:43:16,208 --> 00:43:18,417 Oh? Well, that is an impressive résumé, 871 00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:21,750 but everyone on my team has to earn their playing time. 872 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,833 Even my boy. 873 00:43:22,917 --> 00:43:26,125 Greg can achieve anything he sets out to. 874 00:43:26,208 --> 00:43:29,667 You might be surprised what he's capable of. 875 00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:31,833 All right, then get your boy proper footwear 876 00:43:31,917 --> 00:43:33,375 and meet us down at the complex. 877 00:43:33,458 --> 00:43:36,292 -Hey, Greg, think fast. -[yelps, groans] 878 00:43:36,375 --> 00:43:37,375 [grunts] 879 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,083 Don't worry, Greg. I'll show you the ropes. 880 00:43:40,167 --> 00:43:41,667 I, uh, we'll catch you on the field. 881 00:43:42,958 --> 00:43:44,292 Can't wait. 882 00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:47,417 So my dad signed me up for the team, 883 00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:49,250 -and even though I tried my best... -Whoa! 884 00:43:49,333 --> 00:43:52,375 ...I guess I don't have whatever genes make you good at sports. 885 00:43:52,917 --> 00:43:55,458 In fact, the more I practiced, the worse I got. 886 00:43:55,542 --> 00:43:57,083 Put some heat on it, Greg. 887 00:43:57,917 --> 00:43:59,208 [yelling, groans] 888 00:44:00,542 --> 00:44:01,792 Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm. 889 00:44:02,625 --> 00:44:04,542 All right, team, get your butts over here. 890 00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:07,000 [Greg] And it turns out that if you've got a sense of humor, 891 00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:09,583 -it'll earn you a spot on the bench. -[grunting] 892 00:44:10,917 --> 00:44:14,292 [Greg] But I gotta admit, being part of a team wasn't so bad. 893 00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:19,292 In fact, it kinda made me wonder what I'd been missing out on all these years. 894 00:44:19,375 --> 00:44:21,875 And if it took getting through the end of the season 895 00:44:21,958 --> 00:44:23,375 to get me out of Spag Union, 896 00:44:23,458 --> 00:44:25,083 I was willing to suffer through it. 897 00:44:25,792 --> 00:44:28,125 -[announcer] Goal! -Goal! 898 00:44:28,875 --> 00:44:31,833 [video game chirping, beeping] 899 00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:34,250 [woman] Okay. Let's go, honey, 900 00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:35,792 just watch your step. 901 00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:40,125 Oh, there you are. I thought you went to the bathroom. 902 00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:42,500 Oh, yeah, I did. But then I found a quarter on the ground. 903 00:44:42,583 --> 00:44:44,250 Well, you should've come straight back. 904 00:44:44,333 --> 00:44:46,375 And next time, bend your knees, 905 00:44:46,458 --> 00:44:47,917 -all right? -All right, Dad. 906 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,750 Mr. Warren might've put you in the game. 907 00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:51,375 -[clacking] -[video game beeping] 908 00:44:51,458 --> 00:44:54,667 -[announcer] Goal! -Goal! 909 00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:57,125 Actually, now that I've tried a team sport, 910 00:44:57,208 --> 00:44:59,333 I'm all set with my Physical Fitness badge. 911 00:44:59,417 --> 00:45:01,000 And I'm quitting. 912 00:45:01,083 --> 00:45:02,208 You can do this, Greg. 913 00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:03,958 No son of mine is a quitter. 914 00:45:04,042 --> 00:45:06,542 But Manny's on his third or fourth preschool already. 915 00:45:06,625 --> 00:45:08,458 And Rodrick quits things all the time. 916 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:09,958 Well, that ends today. 917 00:45:10,042 --> 00:45:12,458 You're so close to the finish line, Greg. 918 00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:15,833 Just see this one through, and then we'll talk about Spag Union. 919 00:45:15,917 --> 00:45:18,708 Hey, do you want to jump in? The game's two-player. 920 00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:21,458 I'll meet you out in the car. 921 00:45:22,625 --> 00:45:24,375 [sighing in despair] 922 00:45:26,500 --> 00:45:28,208 Yeah. You see Weston out there? 923 00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:30,500 -[woman] Oh, yeah. -My God, I think he gets that speed 924 00:45:30,583 --> 00:45:32,125 from my side of the family. 925 00:45:32,208 --> 00:45:33,792 [woman] Yeah. Such a great game. 926 00:45:33,875 --> 00:45:35,750 -Hey, good talk. -[woman] See you at the next one. 927 00:45:35,833 --> 00:45:38,042 -Hey, Walt. -Hey, Frank. 928 00:45:38,125 --> 00:45:39,667 Good game. 929 00:45:39,750 --> 00:45:42,333 Oh, you guys really took it to those guys. 930 00:45:42,417 --> 00:45:45,083 Yeah. Weston made some nice saves out there. 931 00:45:45,167 --> 00:45:49,167 Uh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, you know, I couldn't help notice, though, 932 00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:52,250 Greg, uh, didn't get much playing time. 933 00:45:53,125 --> 00:45:54,375 None, actually. 934 00:45:54,458 --> 00:45:56,625 Frank, I told you before, 935 00:45:56,708 --> 00:45:59,417 on my team, the players have to earn their playin' time. 936 00:45:59,500 --> 00:46:02,292 You guys were up by five goals most of the game. 937 00:46:02,375 --> 00:46:03,958 You couldn't give my boy a chance? 938 00:46:04,042 --> 00:46:05,750 Sorry, Frank. 939 00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:08,042 I don't wanna put your boy in a position to fail. 940 00:46:08,125 --> 00:46:09,125 [engine starts] 941 00:46:11,250 --> 00:46:12,292 See you next week. 942 00:46:15,792 --> 00:46:16,833 [Greg] Hey, Dad! 943 00:46:16,917 --> 00:46:17,958 Got any quarters? 944 00:46:18,042 --> 00:46:20,042 -[electricity crackling] -[♪ melancholy music playing] 945 00:46:24,042 --> 00:46:26,708 [sighs] Maybe Walt's right, Susan. 946 00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:29,375 Maybe I did set Greg up for failure. 947 00:46:29,458 --> 00:46:32,833 Our kids aren't gonna be successful in everything they do, Frank. 948 00:46:32,917 --> 00:46:35,917 If they're not failing, they're not growing. Boop. 949 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,250 I feel like I put him in a no-win situation with this soccer thing. 950 00:46:39,333 --> 00:46:42,042 What's he gonna gain by sitting on the bench the whole season? 951 00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:45,542 He'll see that his father will keep showing up for him no matter what. 952 00:46:45,625 --> 00:46:47,333 That he's his biggest fan. 953 00:46:47,417 --> 00:46:49,917 And there is no better lesson than that. 954 00:46:57,417 --> 00:46:58,708 [whistle blowing] 955 00:46:58,792 --> 00:47:01,583 Last game of the season. How ya feelin'? 956 00:47:01,667 --> 00:47:04,458 I'm okay. Sorry I haven't gotten to play yet. 957 00:47:04,542 --> 00:47:06,125 Aw. That's all right. 958 00:47:06,208 --> 00:47:07,833 I've had fun coming to your games. 959 00:47:07,917 --> 00:47:10,583 But if I don't get in the game, I won't be able to finish 960 00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:12,792 my Physical Fitness badge requirements. 961 00:47:12,875 --> 00:47:16,667 Well, maybe I could overlook a requirement, just this once. 962 00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:19,667 Well, this is your stop. 963 00:47:19,750 --> 00:47:21,958 If you need me, I'll be up in the bleachers. 964 00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:26,875 Ricky. 965 00:47:26,958 --> 00:47:28,083 What are you doing here? 966 00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:30,708 Let's just say I'm a fan of the game. 967 00:47:30,792 --> 00:47:34,250 And I have an interest in the outcome of this one in particular. 968 00:47:34,333 --> 00:47:35,667 What's that supposed to mean? 969 00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:39,250 I've got money on Blue. So don't blow it, Heffley. 970 00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:42,042 Trust me, there's no chance I'm getting in the game. 971 00:47:43,167 --> 00:47:44,417 Well, that's a pity. 972 00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:47,875 I was hoping to get some payback for your little smear campaign. 973 00:47:48,625 --> 00:47:51,083 I went to detention for that. We're even. 974 00:47:51,167 --> 00:47:53,875 Do you know how hard it is to get a seat in the cafeteria 975 00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,542 when you've got the "Patty Farrell Touch?" 976 00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:58,250 -Ew! -[whistle blowing] 977 00:48:01,458 --> 00:48:03,083 [grunts, exclaims] 978 00:48:03,167 --> 00:48:04,833 All right, captains. Bring it in. 979 00:48:04,917 --> 00:48:07,917 Lenwood Heath? You gotta be kidding me. 980 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,333 [crowd cheering] 981 00:48:09,417 --> 00:48:12,250 [Greg] Usually, I could care less about what happens in a sports game. 982 00:48:12,333 --> 00:48:14,542 But I got swept up in the excitement of this one. 983 00:48:15,458 --> 00:48:16,833 -Every time one team... -Yes! 984 00:48:16,917 --> 00:48:19,583 [Greg] ...would take the lead, the other team would take it back. 985 00:48:20,417 --> 00:48:23,250 As the game went on, it got a lot more chippy on the field. 986 00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:24,375 Think fast. 987 00:48:24,458 --> 00:48:27,292 [Greg] And I thanked my lucky stars I wasn't out there. 988 00:48:27,375 --> 00:48:29,667 But then, with the game tied in the final seconds, 989 00:48:29,750 --> 00:48:31,167 -disaster. -Whoa! 990 00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,917 -[groans] -[blows whistle] 991 00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,875 Blue team, red card. 992 00:48:35,958 --> 00:48:38,875 Aah! Come on, ref. That was a legal tackle. 993 00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:40,583 Red team, penalty kick. 994 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:42,375 Blue, you're gonna need a new goalie. 995 00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:44,417 Where am I gonna find a new goalie? 996 00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:46,375 Put Greg in! 997 00:48:48,667 --> 00:48:51,458 [sighing in despair] Hefley, suit up. 998 00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:53,292 -Yes! -What? 999 00:48:53,375 --> 00:48:56,542 -You got this, Greg! -[indistinct chatter] 1000 00:48:57,792 --> 00:49:01,292 [♪ somber music playing, "Funeral March" by Chopin] 1001 00:49:05,125 --> 00:49:07,208 I believe in you, Greg! 1002 00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:15,167 -[inhales, exhales] -[woman] It's on you, man. 1003 00:49:15,250 --> 00:49:18,167 Ooh, Coach, can I take the penalty kick? 1004 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:20,000 Farrell, you are in! 1005 00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:21,208 Yeah. 1006 00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,125 Now, wait for my whistle to kick the ball. 1007 00:49:24,208 --> 00:49:26,000 Goalie, are you ready? 1008 00:49:27,458 --> 00:49:30,625 -[blows whistle] -[boy] Try not to hurt him, Patty! 1009 00:49:30,708 --> 00:49:34,375 I've been waiting for this day a long time, Greg Heffley. 1010 00:49:40,417 --> 00:49:42,458 -[laughing maniacally] -[♪ suspenseful music intensifies] 1011 00:49:43,083 --> 00:49:45,083 Would you please kick the ball already? 1012 00:49:45,167 --> 00:49:46,875 [Patty] Patty Farrell touch this! 1013 00:49:49,167 --> 00:49:51,000 -[crowd cheering] -Yes! 1014 00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:53,750 -Huh? -[whooshes] 1015 00:49:56,083 --> 00:49:58,208 [laughs exultantly] In your face, Patty! 1016 00:49:58,292 --> 00:50:00,750 [jeers] Yeah! 1017 00:50:01,542 --> 00:50:02,833 -[grunts] -[crowd gasping] 1018 00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:07,875 -[whistle blows] -[sighing in despair] 1019 00:50:07,958 --> 00:50:09,958 -Come on! -[groans softly] 1020 00:50:10,042 --> 00:50:11,708 [laughs exultantly] 1021 00:50:11,792 --> 00:50:15,875 Whoo! In your face, Greg Heffley. Whoo! 1022 00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:21,250 I'm proud of you, Greg. 1023 00:50:22,750 --> 00:50:23,875 But I lost the game. 1024 00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:26,083 This isn't about winning or losing. 1025 00:50:26,167 --> 00:50:29,083 It's about putting yourself out there, stepping into the arena. 1026 00:50:30,375 --> 00:50:33,833 Hey, what do you say we go home, make some popcorn 1027 00:50:33,917 --> 00:50:36,792 and watch one of those cheesy monster movies? 1028 00:50:37,542 --> 00:50:38,833 Well, that sounds like fun. 1029 00:50:40,375 --> 00:50:41,708 Tough loss, Heffleys. 1030 00:50:41,792 --> 00:50:45,708 Yeah, well, it's not always about wins and losses. 1031 00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:48,750 Hey, have you given any thought to sending Greg to Spag Union, Mr. Heffley? 1032 00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:50,625 They've got a competitive soccer team. 1033 00:50:50,708 --> 00:50:52,917 I'm not sure Greg needs to go to Spag Union. 1034 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,750 He's already on a good path. 1035 00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:58,625 Well, registration's still open if you change your mind. 1036 00:51:00,375 --> 00:51:03,000 -[yelps] -Looks like your soccer career 1037 00:51:03,083 --> 00:51:06,167 went as well as your political career, Greg Heffley. 1038 00:51:06,833 --> 00:51:08,542 Uh, good game, Patty. 1039 00:51:08,625 --> 00:51:11,000 At least you got to feel what it's actually like 1040 00:51:11,083 --> 00:51:14,667 to lose this time instead of being disqualified. 1041 00:51:14,750 --> 00:51:15,833 Disqualified? 1042 00:51:17,083 --> 00:51:19,083 You just cost me a pile of money, Heffley. 1043 00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:21,500 You better hope I don't see you back in detention. 1044 00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:23,125 Detention? 1045 00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:25,708 Uh, maybe we should talk about this in the car. 1046 00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:29,667 Hey, it's the bad boy! 1047 00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:31,458 He chased us with worms! 1048 00:51:31,542 --> 00:51:32,875 [children yelling] Yeah! 1049 00:51:32,958 --> 00:51:34,250 Worms? 1050 00:51:34,333 --> 00:51:36,458 Well, technically, it was just one worm. 1051 00:51:36,542 --> 00:51:38,583 What's going on, Greg? 1052 00:51:38,667 --> 00:51:40,792 -Mr. Duffley -Mr. Duffley? 1053 00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:43,500 Uh... she must be talking about someone else. 1054 00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,167 I need to speak to you about your son's suspension. 1055 00:51:46,250 --> 00:51:47,708 Suspension? 1056 00:51:47,792 --> 00:51:49,583 Greg, what is she talking about? 1057 00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:52,625 There's all sorts of crazies out here today, let's go, please. 1058 00:51:52,708 --> 00:51:55,583 There he is, ladies. Let's get him! 1059 00:51:56,375 --> 00:51:59,667 -[yelps] -[indistinct shouting] 1060 00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:04,625 -[hatch door closes] -Oh. Great kid you got there, Frank. 1061 00:52:04,708 --> 00:52:06,792 [woman] Who's running now, you little twerp? 1062 00:52:11,625 --> 00:52:13,500 I can't believe you, Greg. 1063 00:52:13,583 --> 00:52:18,375 When you had me sign off on those badges, you weren't just being dishonest, 1064 00:52:18,458 --> 00:52:20,333 you made a liar out of me! 1065 00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,708 I know, but I wasn't trying to. 1066 00:52:22,792 --> 00:52:26,625 Disqualified from Student Council. Sent to detention. 1067 00:52:26,708 --> 00:52:29,708 Suspended from the Safety Patrol. 1068 00:52:29,792 --> 00:52:32,250 Anything else you want to tell me about, Greg? 1069 00:52:32,333 --> 00:52:34,667 [sighs] I think that pretty much covers it. 1070 00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:38,708 Oh, boy. 1071 00:52:39,917 --> 00:52:44,125 -Okay. Oh, dear. -Stickers. [laughs] 1072 00:52:44,208 --> 00:52:46,333 Actually, I take that back. 1073 00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:47,583 [grunting] Okay! 1074 00:52:47,667 --> 00:52:49,500 Oh, that kid! 1075 00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:52,375 [grunting] 1076 00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:57,792 -Dad, wait. -[laughs] 1077 00:53:01,083 --> 00:53:02,708 Mom, please. 1078 00:53:02,792 --> 00:53:04,167 [sighing] Oh, Greg. 1079 00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:05,833 Yes, Frank. 1080 00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:11,833 [muffled] No! 1081 00:53:13,917 --> 00:53:15,500 [announcer] Congratulations. 1082 00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:18,708 You have successfully registered to Spag Union. 1083 00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:24,042 Oh, man. Bubby toast. 1084 00:53:25,625 --> 00:53:27,833 [rain pattering, thunder rumbling] 1085 00:53:33,667 --> 00:53:34,667 [footsteps approaching] 1086 00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:39,917 [sighing sadly] 1087 00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:42,375 [groans softly] 1088 00:53:43,417 --> 00:53:44,417 [sighing in exhaustion] 1089 00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:48,125 Whoa! 1090 00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:51,333 [grunts] Okay. I found your old tent in the garage. 1091 00:53:51,417 --> 00:53:53,458 Your sleeping bags and the rest of your stuff 1092 00:53:53,542 --> 00:53:55,958 are already packed in the fancy new car. 1093 00:53:56,042 --> 00:53:58,375 -The rest of what stuff? -Your camping gear. 1094 00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,042 What? Who's going camping? 1095 00:54:00,125 --> 00:54:02,958 You are. The Icy Pines Campout is this weekend. 1096 00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:06,208 Yeah, well, there's no point in goin' on that anymore. 1097 00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:09,542 You two signed up, and you're gonna honor your commitment. 1098 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:12,083 After all, Heffleys aren't quitters. 1099 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,792 Oh! And bring lots of layers. 1100 00:54:15,875 --> 00:54:18,417 I've heard it's gonna be a cold one this weekend. 1101 00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:23,792 [grunts] 1102 00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:28,292 [engine starts, roars] 1103 00:54:28,375 --> 00:54:31,375 [♪ upbeat rock music playing, "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go] 1104 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,167 [both exclaiming] Whoa! 1105 00:54:40,250 --> 00:54:41,417 [tires screeching] 1106 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,000 [car honking] 1107 00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:48,458 ♪ Throw on your clothes the second side of Surfer Rosa ♪ 1108 00:54:48,542 --> 00:54:51,250 ♪ And you leave me with my jaw on the floor ♪ 1109 00:54:51,792 --> 00:54:52,792 ♪ Hey! ♪ 1110 00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:58,250 ♪ Oh, just when you think you're in control ♪ 1111 00:54:58,333 --> 00:55:00,583 ♪ Just when you think you've got a hold ♪ 1112 00:55:00,667 --> 00:55:02,333 ♪ Just when you get on a roll... ♪ 1113 00:55:02,417 --> 00:55:03,792 Whoo! Yes! 1114 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,000 [both exclaiming] Whoa! 1115 00:55:08,583 --> 00:55:10,667 ♪ ...should've known should've known again ♪ 1116 00:55:10,750 --> 00:55:12,667 ♪ But here it goes again ♪ 1117 00:55:13,458 --> 00:55:15,417 ♪ Oh, oh, here it goes again ♪ 1118 00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:21,417 ♪ Starts out easy, something simple something sleazy ♪ 1119 00:55:21,500 --> 00:55:23,583 ♪ Something inching past the edge of reserve ♪ 1120 00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:25,875 [chittering, giggling] 1121 00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:28,208 ♪ Now through the lines of the cheap Venetian blinds ♪ 1122 00:55:28,292 --> 00:55:30,667 ♪ Your car is pulling off of the curb ♪ 1123 00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:32,208 [crashing] 1124 00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:40,042 ♪ I guess there's gotta be a break in the monotony ♪ 1125 00:55:40,125 --> 00:55:42,167 ♪ But Jesus when it rains how it pours... ♪ 1126 00:55:42,250 --> 00:55:43,292 -[both gasping] -[chittering] 1127 00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:45,000 -[snarling] -[Frank yelping] Oh! 1128 00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:48,458 ♪ And you leave me, yeah you leave me ♪ 1129 00:55:51,083 --> 00:55:54,917 ♪ Oh, oh here it goes, here it goes here it goes again ♪ 1130 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,792 ♪ Oh, here it goes again ♪ 1131 00:55:56,875 --> 00:56:00,333 ♪ I should've known, should've known should've known again ♪ 1132 00:56:00,417 --> 00:56:01,542 ♪ But here it goes again ♪ 1133 00:56:01,625 --> 00:56:04,792 ♪ Oh, here it goes Oh, here it goes ♪ 1134 00:56:05,458 --> 00:56:06,458 ♪ Oh, here it goes again ♪ 1135 00:56:06,542 --> 00:56:09,625 ♪ I should've known I should've known ♪ 1136 00:56:10,375 --> 00:56:11,625 ♪ But here it goes again ♪ 1137 00:56:11,708 --> 00:56:13,333 ♪ Oh, here it Oh, here it ♪ 1138 00:56:13,417 --> 00:56:14,958 ♪ Oh, here it Oh, here it... ♪ 1139 00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:19,292 [man] Can't beat nature. With that, we're done. 1140 00:56:19,375 --> 00:56:21,042 [indistinct chatter] 1141 00:56:21,125 --> 00:56:22,625 Great job, Rowley. 1142 00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:23,708 Thanks, Dad. 1143 00:56:25,292 --> 00:56:26,750 Who wants cocoa? 1144 00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:29,292 [Greg humming] 1145 00:56:32,375 --> 00:56:33,500 [sighing sadly] 1146 00:56:34,292 --> 00:56:36,625 Remind me to thank Rowley for the Joshie blanket. 1147 00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:38,208 Are you almost done with that? 1148 00:56:38,292 --> 00:56:41,458 I just need a second. The instructions didn't make any sense. 1149 00:56:42,833 --> 00:56:44,333 [grunting] 1150 00:56:45,958 --> 00:56:48,208 [boy] Are we gonna make s'mores? I love s'mores. 1151 00:56:48,292 --> 00:56:51,375 It says here you're supposed to put the stakes in the corners first. 1152 00:56:51,458 --> 00:56:52,708 Dad, I've got this. 1153 00:56:53,833 --> 00:56:55,458 [sighing sadly] 1154 00:57:00,458 --> 00:57:02,875 Yes! See? I didn't need any help. 1155 00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:06,750 -[groans] -[yelps] 1156 00:57:07,375 --> 00:57:08,875 [gasps] 1157 00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:13,583 [grunting, yelping] 1158 00:57:15,042 --> 00:57:18,583 This is like the lawn mower situation all over again. 1159 00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,958 That was, like, a hundred years ago. 1160 00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:23,417 Yeah, well, some things never change. 1161 00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:25,625 You don't need to pile on. You already won. 1162 00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:27,208 What's that supposed to mean? 1163 00:57:27,292 --> 00:57:29,500 You got your way. I'm going to Spag Union. 1164 00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:31,375 And you think I'm happy about that? 1165 00:57:31,458 --> 00:57:33,833 I'm sending you there because you left me no choice. 1166 00:57:35,458 --> 00:57:37,625 I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth sooner. 1167 00:57:37,708 --> 00:57:40,500 But we were starting to actually have fun together. 1168 00:57:40,583 --> 00:57:42,750 And I didn't want anything to mess that up. 1169 00:57:43,917 --> 00:57:45,750 [sighs] Look, Greg, I... 1170 00:57:45,833 --> 00:57:48,083 [♪ trumpet blasts] 1171 00:57:48,667 --> 00:57:51,292 Bring it in, campers. It's chow time. 1172 00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:53,000 -[chuckling] Yeah! -[whistling] 1173 00:57:53,583 --> 00:57:56,542 How about we just try to survive the weekend, huh? 1174 00:57:58,125 --> 00:57:59,125 Deal. 1175 00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:03,167 Whatever we don't use, we freeze to use in next year's chili. 1176 00:58:03,750 --> 00:58:05,000 Ooh, green pepper. 1177 00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,292 [chomps] 1178 00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:12,458 [gasps] Four years ago, if memory serves. 1179 00:58:12,542 --> 00:58:16,750 Uh... you know, I think I'll just have a biscuit. 1180 00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:19,292 [laughs] I'm not surprised. 1181 00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:24,917 You wouldn't try my famous chili when you were your son's age. 1182 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,250 Wait. You went on one of these camp-outs before? 1183 00:58:28,333 --> 00:58:29,917 I bet he didn't tell you this one. 1184 00:58:31,292 --> 00:58:33,417 Your father fell down an embankment on a hike 1185 00:58:33,500 --> 00:58:36,083 and stirred up an underground wasp nest. 1186 00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,167 -[buzzing] -[screaming] 1187 00:58:38,792 --> 00:58:40,667 [Master Barrett] Must've been stung 20 times. 1188 00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,125 -[laughs] -[sighs wearily] 1189 00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:43,667 It was only seven. 1190 00:58:43,750 --> 00:58:47,500 Boy, your dad has a talent for spinning disaster outta thin air. 1191 00:58:47,583 --> 00:58:49,625 [laughs heartily] 1192 00:58:49,708 --> 00:58:52,708 Don't worry, I'll eat whatever Frank doesn't want. 1193 00:58:53,250 --> 00:58:54,750 Greg, over here! 1194 00:58:54,833 --> 00:58:56,917 Hey, Rowley! Come on! 1195 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,167 Yeah, sure. Why not? 1196 00:58:58,250 --> 00:59:00,375 No chili for you, Heffley? 1197 00:59:00,458 --> 00:59:03,667 Oh. Uh... It... It didn't look too appetizing. 1198 00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:06,458 Good call. It's been repeating on Rowley here. 1199 00:59:06,542 --> 00:59:08,208 I tooted. 1200 00:59:08,292 --> 00:59:10,375 Rowley, language! 1201 00:59:10,458 --> 00:59:11,750 Sorry, Dad. 1202 00:59:11,833 --> 00:59:14,625 [both laughing] 1203 00:59:14,708 --> 00:59:18,042 So, are you boys worried that the muddy hand might get you tonight? 1204 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:22,125 What's the muddy hand? 1205 00:59:22,208 --> 00:59:27,417 Well, some people say a dismembered hand crawls through these woods, 1206 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:33,125 looking for innocent young Woodchippers to drag into the darkness. 1207 00:59:33,208 --> 00:59:35,583 But we are innocent young Woodchippers. 1208 00:59:35,667 --> 00:59:37,167 Ah! Don't worry. 1209 00:59:37,833 --> 00:59:41,417 It's probably just a fairy tale to keep campers-- [gags] 1210 00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:43,042 -[yelps] -[screams] 1211 00:59:43,125 --> 00:59:45,083 -[sighing sadly] -[groans] 1212 00:59:46,542 --> 00:59:50,333 [laughs heartily] 1213 00:59:50,875 --> 00:59:53,000 Ah. That one gets 'em every time. 1214 00:59:53,083 --> 00:59:54,708 -[laughs exultantly] -[clattering] 1215 00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:56,125 [groans softly] 1216 00:59:56,208 --> 00:59:58,625 I think I see a table with more space over there. 1217 00:59:58,708 --> 01:00:01,083 Muddy hand, so played out. 1218 01:00:01,167 --> 01:00:03,250 What? Somethin' I said? 1219 01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:04,667 [sighs softly] 1220 01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,625 [♪ trumpet blasts] 1221 01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:09,000 All right, Woodchippers, enough foolin' around. 1222 01:00:09,083 --> 01:00:12,667 We have to squeeze in a five-mile hike before dark. 1223 01:00:12,750 --> 01:00:14,417 [all groaning] 1224 01:00:17,292 --> 01:00:19,042 Sorry about my dad. 1225 01:00:19,125 --> 01:00:21,167 He can be a little extra sometimes. 1226 01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:22,708 Believe me, I get it. 1227 01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:25,042 [grunting] 1228 01:00:25,125 --> 01:00:28,000 -Come on. -Hey, Frank. 1229 01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:30,458 -[sighing] Hey, Walt. -Hey, sorry. 1230 01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:32,000 I hope I didn't scare your boy. 1231 01:00:32,083 --> 01:00:33,958 Oh, he'll survive. 1232 01:00:34,042 --> 01:00:37,000 And... And, I'm sure Weston's heard that story more than once, huh? 1233 01:00:37,708 --> 01:00:38,833 Yeah. I... [chuckles nervously] 1234 01:00:38,917 --> 01:00:42,750 I can't seem to do anything without getting under Weston's skin these days. 1235 01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:44,625 Is it like that with you and Greg? 1236 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:45,958 Well... [stutters] 1237 01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:48,583 ...we don't always get along, if that's what you're asking. 1238 01:00:48,667 --> 01:00:51,042 Guess it's just a weird age, right? 1239 01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,208 Yeah. Something like that. 1240 01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:55,833 Don't get me wrong. I'm not the perfect father by any means. 1241 01:00:55,917 --> 01:00:58,417 [both laughing] 1242 01:00:58,500 --> 01:00:59,917 You can say that again. 1243 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,875 I just don't wanna do anything to drive my boy away. 1244 01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:06,250 We only get 'em for a little while, you know? 1245 01:01:06,333 --> 01:01:07,917 [grunts] 1246 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,250 Yeah. 1247 01:01:09,333 --> 01:01:11,750 You're lucky you and your boy are so much alike. 1248 01:01:11,833 --> 01:01:14,250 Must make the whole father-son thing a lot easier. 1249 01:01:14,333 --> 01:01:16,417 You think I'm like Greg? 1250 01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:17,917 Are you kidding me? 1251 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,458 You two are practically the same person. 1252 01:01:20,542 --> 01:01:23,250 -[grunting] Come on. -Huh. 1253 01:01:23,333 --> 01:01:25,167 All right. Come on, Weston, 1254 01:01:25,250 --> 01:01:28,667 -before the muddy hand gets us. -[sighing sadly] 1255 01:01:30,167 --> 01:01:32,208 See you out on the trail, Heffley. 1256 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,125 -[water splashing] -[indistinct chatter] 1257 01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,583 [Master Barrett] Come on now, keep up! 1258 01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:41,167 We don't want anyone gettin' lost. 1259 01:01:41,250 --> 01:01:43,542 Be careful crossin' here, Woodchippers. 1260 01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:47,000 This natural bridge has been here since I was in diapers... 1261 01:01:47,083 --> 01:01:49,083 [chuckling] ...if you can believe that. 1262 01:01:49,792 --> 01:01:52,375 [man] Get in front of me. Time waits for no one. 1263 01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:54,542 This way, campers. 1264 01:01:54,625 --> 01:01:57,000 Doesn't it feel great to be out in nature? 1265 01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,458 Exercise is great for the constitution. 1266 01:01:59,542 --> 01:02:02,542 And these chia seeds are fueling my body. 1267 01:02:02,625 --> 01:02:05,542 [Greg] That muddy hand thing was pretty dumb. 1268 01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:07,542 Mr. Warren was just tryin' to scare us. 1269 01:02:07,625 --> 01:02:09,167 -Right? -[chuckles softly] 1270 01:02:09,250 --> 01:02:11,292 I'm not gonna lose any sleep over it. 1271 01:02:11,375 --> 01:02:14,250 I mean, a hand couldn't technically keep living without a body. 1272 01:02:14,333 --> 01:02:16,750 How would it breathe? It doesn't even make sense. 1273 01:02:16,833 --> 01:02:18,875 Yeah, you're probably right about that. 1274 01:02:18,958 --> 01:02:22,042 A tent doesn't feel like good protection against that thing, though. 1275 01:02:22,125 --> 01:02:25,125 Maybe we should keep the opening zipped up just in case. 1276 01:02:25,208 --> 01:02:27,875 Well, only if it makes you feel better. 1277 01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:29,792 -Deal. -[both chuckle] 1278 01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:33,708 [wind howling] 1279 01:02:34,833 --> 01:02:37,125 Uh... do you think we're lost? 1280 01:02:37,208 --> 01:02:39,250 Of course not. Don't worry. 1281 01:02:39,333 --> 01:02:42,333 Troopmaster Barrett knows these trails like his own chili. 1282 01:02:42,417 --> 01:02:45,042 Woodchippers. Come on, gather round. 1283 01:02:45,125 --> 01:02:47,125 We appear to have wandered off the trail. 1284 01:02:47,208 --> 01:02:48,667 Seriously? 1285 01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:51,667 Wait a minute. I've picked up what appears to be human tracks. 1286 01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:54,792 These will definitely lead us back to civilization. 1287 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,375 Wait a minute, these look like my footprints. 1288 01:02:59,125 --> 01:03:01,667 -[groaning] -And these are mine. 1289 01:03:01,750 --> 01:03:05,458 -[groaning] -We've been walking in circles! 1290 01:03:06,042 --> 01:03:07,125 Well, that settles it. 1291 01:03:08,542 --> 01:03:11,167 -[echoing] We're lost! -[eagle screeching] 1292 01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:13,375 Oh, come on! 1293 01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:15,333 [indistinct chatter, sighing] 1294 01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:19,042 It's a dream come true. [laughs] 1295 01:03:19,125 --> 01:03:21,250 Uh, what are we gonna do, Troopmaster Barrett? 1296 01:03:21,333 --> 01:03:23,042 Best we can do is make camp for the night 1297 01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:25,458 and hope that someone comes searching for us in the morning. 1298 01:03:25,542 --> 01:03:27,833 Make camp? But we don't have our tents! 1299 01:03:27,917 --> 01:03:29,333 Or sleeping bags. 1300 01:03:29,417 --> 01:03:31,333 I don't even have my pillow. 1301 01:03:32,125 --> 01:03:36,500 We'll sleep closely together, and use our body heat to keep each other warm. 1302 01:03:36,583 --> 01:03:39,958 -Quick, son, before we freeze. -[all groaning] 1303 01:03:40,792 --> 01:03:41,875 Troopmaster Barrett, 1304 01:03:41,958 --> 01:03:44,583 what if we could find our way back to camp before the sun goes down? 1305 01:03:44,667 --> 01:03:45,792 Don't we have a compass? 1306 01:03:45,875 --> 01:03:50,292 Unfortunately, I broke mine when I lost my footing on the trail back there. 1307 01:03:50,375 --> 01:03:53,417 But isn't there a way to make one of those? 1308 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:56,208 Greg's right. It's in the Orienteering section. 1309 01:03:57,833 --> 01:03:59,292 -[man] There we are. -[exclaims] 1310 01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:01,125 Dad, do we have a needle and thread? 1311 01:04:01,208 --> 01:04:02,667 We sure do. 1312 01:04:02,750 --> 01:04:06,917 Hey, maybe we can knit some sweaters. [laughs] 1313 01:04:12,042 --> 01:04:13,042 Hmm. 1314 01:04:14,125 --> 01:04:17,500 -Rowley, let me see that jar. -My chia seeds! 1315 01:04:22,667 --> 01:04:23,875 [all cheering] 1316 01:04:25,042 --> 01:04:27,250 Onward, campers. [laughs] 1317 01:04:28,625 --> 01:04:29,958 Good thinkin', Greg. 1318 01:04:30,042 --> 01:04:33,083 Hey, if the Continental Army gave up in the face of a challenge, 1319 01:04:33,167 --> 01:04:35,042 they never would've turned the tides on the British. 1320 01:04:35,125 --> 01:04:37,000 [gasps] You were listening. 1321 01:04:37,542 --> 01:04:39,167 Well, why wouldn't I have listened? 1322 01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:41,250 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 1323 01:04:49,083 --> 01:04:51,208 [gasps] Good news, campers. 1324 01:04:51,292 --> 01:04:53,167 We found the natural bridge! 1325 01:04:53,250 --> 01:04:55,792 -[indistinct chatter] -[yelps] 1326 01:04:55,875 --> 01:04:57,750 -[all gasping] -Whoa! 1327 01:05:05,417 --> 01:05:06,750 -[thuds] -[all gasping] 1328 01:05:06,833 --> 01:05:08,917 What do you say we go back to my camping idea? 1329 01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,292 [indistinct muttering] 1330 01:05:17,625 --> 01:05:18,792 [children laughing] 1331 01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,417 Petey, one hand on the rope, please. 1332 01:05:22,458 --> 01:05:24,875 That's it. Guys, I know what to do. 1333 01:05:24,958 --> 01:05:26,125 Does anybody have a rope? 1334 01:05:27,708 --> 01:05:30,125 Well, what's your plan, young Heffley? 1335 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:35,625 We can tie it around two trees and use it to cross the rocks. 1336 01:05:35,708 --> 01:05:37,583 We just need to use a strong knot. 1337 01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:40,375 Oh. That would be a bowline knot. [chuckles] I remember. 1338 01:05:40,458 --> 01:05:42,167 Yeah, but we never mastered that one. 1339 01:05:42,250 --> 01:05:44,792 If we work together, maybe we can figure it out. 1340 01:05:45,375 --> 01:05:46,958 [grunts] 1341 01:05:47,042 --> 01:05:49,375 Okay. I think you got the loop right. 1342 01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:52,208 We just need to... [grunts] ...meet in the middle. 1343 01:05:53,958 --> 01:05:56,417 -[all cheering] -Huh. That wasn't so hard, was it? 1344 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,167 Wish we'd figured that out sooner. 1345 01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,292 All right, let's do this, Woodchippers. 1346 01:06:00,375 --> 01:06:01,875 [indistinct chatter] 1347 01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:03,708 [Frank] Okay, come on. 1348 01:06:05,292 --> 01:06:06,583 Watch your step. 1349 01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,208 [boy] All right, let's go. Whoa, whoa. 1350 01:06:09,167 --> 01:06:10,958 Whoa! [sighs] 1351 01:06:11,042 --> 01:06:13,417 Now, be careful. These rocks are slippery. 1352 01:06:15,417 --> 01:06:16,583 Almost there. 1353 01:06:20,583 --> 01:06:22,000 That's all of them, Frank. 1354 01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:23,250 All right. Come on, Walt. 1355 01:06:23,333 --> 01:06:24,458 Coming over now. 1356 01:06:24,542 --> 01:06:26,208 Make way for the big dog. 1357 01:06:26,292 --> 01:06:28,792 Should I do it with my eyes closed? [laughs] 1358 01:06:29,542 --> 01:06:31,375 [yelps, gasping] 1359 01:06:31,458 --> 01:06:32,625 Dad! 1360 01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:33,792 All good! [sputtering] 1361 01:06:33,875 --> 01:06:35,000 Don't worry! [sputtering] 1362 01:06:35,083 --> 01:06:36,250 Dad, let's go. 1363 01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:38,500 Just hang on! We're coming! 1364 01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,917 -Dad, are you okay? -I'm fine! 1365 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,875 This water isn't even that cold. 1366 01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:45,042 [sputtering] More like room temperature. 1367 01:06:45,833 --> 01:06:48,250 This isn't even a river. [sputtering] 1368 01:06:48,333 --> 01:06:49,708 It's more like a creek. [sputtering] 1369 01:06:50,500 --> 01:06:53,250 [gasps, screams] Oh, God! Oh, God! 1370 01:06:53,333 --> 01:06:54,375 [wailing] 1371 01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:55,708 [sputtering] 1372 01:06:56,958 --> 01:06:58,250 All right, 1373 01:06:58,333 --> 01:07:00,333 [echoing] ...you've got my attention now! 1374 01:07:03,417 --> 01:07:04,833 Well, this is it for me. 1375 01:07:04,917 --> 01:07:09,333 Weston! Make sure they change the oil in the SUV every 3,000 miles. 1376 01:07:09,417 --> 01:07:11,292 Greg, wait until I get there! 1377 01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:13,417 Mr. Warren, grab my hand! 1378 01:07:14,292 --> 01:07:16,292 -[whimpering] -[indistinct chatter] 1379 01:07:17,875 --> 01:07:19,500 -Whoa! -[groaning] Whoa! 1380 01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:24,750 -Whoa! -I got you, Greg. And I'm not letting go. 1381 01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:27,250 [Master Barrett] This is what we've been trainin' for, Woodchippers. 1382 01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:29,917 Everybody, make a human chain! 1383 01:07:31,667 --> 01:07:34,958 Pull! Pull! With every ounce of your strength. 1384 01:07:35,042 --> 01:07:37,125 [all grunting] 1385 01:07:37,208 --> 01:07:38,292 [grunts] 1386 01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:41,333 [all cheering] 1387 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:43,625 Are you okay, Dad? 1388 01:07:43,708 --> 01:07:46,500 [chuckles softly] I am now. 1389 01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:48,958 [man] That's how you do it. 1390 01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:52,250 Hey, I think I can see the camp from here! 1391 01:07:52,333 --> 01:07:55,000 All right, let's get back before hypothermia sets in. 1392 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:07,458 And with the power vested in me by the Plainville Woodchippers, 1393 01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,208 I'm proud to award you both the Wilderness Survival badge. 1394 01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:19,542 -Whoa! -[all cheering] 1395 01:08:24,458 --> 01:08:26,500 All right, everybody, lights out! 1396 01:08:26,583 --> 01:08:29,542 -Sunrise hike tomorrow. -[all groaning] 1397 01:08:29,625 --> 01:08:30,708 Come on. Hop to it. 1398 01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:35,458 -Hey, nice save, Greg. I'm impressed. -Thanks, Greg. 1399 01:08:35,542 --> 01:08:37,542 Yeah, don't mention it. 1400 01:08:37,625 --> 01:08:39,500 Frank, great son you got there. 1401 01:08:40,333 --> 01:08:41,333 You too, Walt. 1402 01:08:42,167 --> 01:08:43,917 All right. Come on, Weston. Race you to the tent. 1403 01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:45,167 [both chuckle] 1404 01:08:45,750 --> 01:08:49,333 So, uh, you want to roast some marshmallows or something? 1405 01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:53,667 Nah, I think I've had enough outdoor activities for a weekend. 1406 01:08:53,750 --> 01:08:55,500 Maybe a whole lifetime. 1407 01:08:55,583 --> 01:08:59,542 Yeah, and after all that I'm not even close to Woodchipper Elite. 1408 01:08:59,625 --> 01:09:01,667 But at least I got this one. 1409 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,958 I hope the guys at Spag Union will be impressed. 1410 01:09:04,042 --> 01:09:07,583 Yeah, uh, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 1411 01:09:07,667 --> 01:09:10,083 Greg, we're not sending you to Spag Union. 1412 01:09:10,667 --> 01:09:11,833 Whoa! What? 1413 01:09:11,917 --> 01:09:13,875 I'm gonna cancel your registration. 1414 01:09:13,958 --> 01:09:16,708 I don't want to lose out on spending more time with my son. 1415 01:09:16,792 --> 01:09:19,375 I only get you for a little while, you know? 1416 01:09:21,167 --> 01:09:23,417 [♪ pleasant music playing] 1417 01:09:24,208 --> 01:09:25,917 -You know what I wish, though? -What? 1418 01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,292 That we didn't have to spend the night in a tent. 1419 01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:32,458 [chitters] 1420 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:37,542 Hmm. 1421 01:09:38,125 --> 01:09:40,667 -[clicking] -[engine starts] 1422 01:09:41,750 --> 01:09:43,375 -[engine roaring] -[tires screeching] 1423 01:09:47,458 --> 01:09:49,042 Ha, ha! Yeah, all right! 1424 01:09:49,125 --> 01:09:51,250 -Yeah, crush it! -Destroy it all! 1425 01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:52,333 [both laughing] 1426 01:09:53,458 --> 01:09:56,125 You know, some people think you and me are pretty similar. 1427 01:09:56,208 --> 01:09:58,208 Me and you? No way. 1428 01:09:58,292 --> 01:10:00,042 I know. Crazy, right? 1429 01:10:00,125 --> 01:10:03,375 I'll take it, though. I can think of worse people to be compared to. 1430 01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:04,958 Ah. Thanks, kid. 1431 01:10:05,042 --> 01:10:06,417 [chittering] 1432 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:10,042 [Greg] So it turns out, me and my dad have more in common than I thought. 1433 01:10:10,125 --> 01:10:12,583 For starters, we're definitely both indoor people. 1434 01:10:13,375 --> 01:10:15,083 And I'm not too proud to say that 1435 01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:17,958 I've already learned a thing or two from my dad along the way. 1436 01:10:18,042 --> 01:10:21,583 But I'm not sure there's anything else he could teach me at this point. 1437 01:10:21,667 --> 01:10:24,208 Uh-oh. I might have forgotten to lock the car. 1438 01:10:24,292 --> 01:10:26,042 Greg, you didn't lock it, did you? 1439 01:10:26,125 --> 01:10:28,292 And how was I supposed to do that? 1440 01:10:28,375 --> 01:10:29,500 With the key? 1441 01:10:29,583 --> 01:10:30,667 The key? 1442 01:10:30,750 --> 01:10:33,125 -[car alarm blaring] -[chittering] 1443 01:10:33,208 --> 01:10:35,583 [♪ upbeat music playing]