1
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,296
Curtis: They can't be that hard
to find.

2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,298
They're throwing stars
but they're made of wood.

3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,217
We're in an attic, sir.
There's a lot of wood.
[ Device beeps ]

4
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,635
But, like,
George Washington wood.

5
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,969
Cherry. Like his teeth
and left nipple.

6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,596
Sorry. His left what?

7
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,473
There were some things
he could tell a lie about.

8
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,808
But he could also carve
a throwing star more lethal

9
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,352
than most guns,

10
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,811
which is a perfect point
to make at this seminar

11
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,396
for at-risk youth.

12
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,148
Do at-risk youth
attend a lot of seminars?

13
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,442
Less problematizing,
more robot- eyes'ing.

14
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,194
I thought I'd find
you guys here...

15
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,779
because I surveilled
you entering.

16
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,197
Are those hot wings?

17
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,323
For me, yes. You, no.
Excuse me?

18
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:34,159
I'm your boss
and the goddamn president.

19
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,995
Executive order, bitch.
Fucking Christ! O'Doyle!

20
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,164
These would kill you, sir.
[ Straining ]

21
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,832
My half-leprechaun stomach
can digest molten metals.

22
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,627
My male brain can only hear
that as a challenge!

23
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,879
I understand what you mean,
but it doesn't apply to this.

24
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,215
It's actual poison.
Must...eat...

25
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,008
lethal...chicken.

26
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,302
[ Straining ]
Garbage. See?

27
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,388
It's garbage now.
[ Sighs ] That's true.

28
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,098
I can't eat
out of the garbage.

29
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,724
That would be less alpha.
Whoa.

30
00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:01,270
$15 million from Jefferson
to Napoleon for...

31
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,854
Louisiana? Damn, Banks.

32
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,022
You found the receipt
for the Louisiana Purchase?

33
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,484
People have been asking to see
this for 200 years.

34
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,361
All French people,
but still.

35
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,363
Wait, we bought Louisiana
from France?

36
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,281
Oh!

37
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,366
I just now got the accent.

38
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,410
[ French accent ]
Huh-huh-huh!

39
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,203
[ Normal voice ]
So I didn't go to college.

40
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,538
Or grade school?

41
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,831
Is that where you learned
to be mean?!

42
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,039
Not just Louisiana, O'Doyle.

43
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:23,500
It was the whole territory.

44
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,335
How big, Banks?
Like half of America?

45
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,379
15 states.
Damn!

46
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,131
Those are
state-sized states, too.

47
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,632
They may have invented sex,

48
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,217
but that's the day
France got royally...

49
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,509
You almost sound
proud of it.

50
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,886
I can't root
for the home team?

51
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,346
You know
what Jefferson said --

52
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,472
"Desperate times make
for great deals."

53
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,433
What's this part
down here?

54
00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,143
Looks like Napoleon scribbled
a little somethin'-somethin'.

55
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,561
"Oh, and one more thing --

56
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,146
You are forbidden
from entering the cave

57
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:45,564
in the third Rocky Mountain."

58
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,190
It's initialed
by Jefferson.

59
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,318
Third from the left?
Third rockiest?

60
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,569
Third mountainest?
Good thing we'll never know.

61
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,195
It's forbidden.
[ Scoffs ]

62
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,739
So you root
for the home team,

63
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,574
but you're okay being told
by a foreign dictator

64
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,533
there's a part of your country
you're not allowed in?

65
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,411
I'm not allowed in a lot
of the country, Banks.

66
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,872
Pilot lounges. The actual horse
part of the horse track.

67
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,415
Everyone's home.

68
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,334
My job is to leave the stuff
that's working alone.

69
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,918
It's called respecting
the legacy of --

70
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:10,297
[ Gasps ] George Washington's
throwing stars!

71
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,091
Ooh! There's one
for each original colony!

72
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,553
Delaware! Virginia!
Rhode Island! Damn.

73
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,973
The only thing those youths are
at risk of is losing their shit.

74
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:28,940
♪♪

75
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:36,531
♪♪

76
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:43,872
♪♪

77
00:02:43,954 --> 00:02:45,749
♪♪

78
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,045
[ Device beeps ]

79
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,463
[ Notes play ]

80
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,964
What's up, guys?
I'm Amil Bhattam.

81
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,466
And today
we're getting to the bottom

82
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,134
of Lincoln's hat.

83
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,053
More specifically,
the groundswell of support

84
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,722
to add a top hat to Lincoln's
head on Mount Rushmore.

85
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,474
First up,
we got Senator Hapkins,

86
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,976
primary sponsor
of the 4-score bill,

87
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,395
as well as Martin Popple,

88
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,896
leader
of the Hats Off movement.

89
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,648
Sarah, why exactly do you want
to add

90
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,775
a 20-story granite hat
to Lincoln's head?

91
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,568
Sarah: Well, it was Lincoln
who once said,

92
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,071
"Give me a hat
with such strength of brim,

93
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,323
the whole world can rest
peacefully and dine."

94
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,741
Which is, of course,
why we're adding

95
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,159
a rotating restaurant
to the brim.

96
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,661
Martin: Oh-kayy.
Sarah is clearly

97
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,871
just spouting
Hatter propaganda.
Ha!

98
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,165
Oh, so we should pretend
Lincoln didn't have a hat?

99
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,792
You're defacing
a national monument

100
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,044
to sell hat merch and
beard-shaped beignets!

101
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,170
Lincoln would hate you!

102
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:33,964
He would hate yo--

103
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,966
Another moment alone with my
thoughts successfully avoided.

104
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,468
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

105
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,679
Alright, Banks.
Be on alert. Head on a swivel.

106
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,305
It's up to you,
and only you,

107
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,640
to figure out
what the French are hid--

108
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,892
Oh, come on, guys!
What the fuck?

109
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,353
-Oh, hey, Banks.
-Your stealth game is weak.

110
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,646
What the hell are
you guys doing here?

111
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,648
I thought you wanted
to leave this alone!

112
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,358
And I thought you'd listen to
me, but, of course, you didn't.

113
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,317
O'Doyle saw you putting on
the squirrel suit

114
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:55,192
in the locker room.

115
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,611
You ratted on me?!

116
00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,029
We did a whole thing
about that last week.

117
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,364
We resolved it.

118
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,074
Yeah,
but I still owed you a rat-out.

119
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,576
Now we're even.
He's the one who keeps
cutting the doughnuts

120
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,869
into pieces
in the break room.

121
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,620
You dick! Back to not even!
O'Doyle!

122
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,247
Either eat it or don't.

123
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,082
Stop trying to turn
a doughnut into a pizza.

124
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,167
Besides, Banks,
look around.

125
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,543
There's nothing here

126
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,378
but etchings
of shoulders and ankles.

127
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,213
It was probably just
Napoleon's jerk-off cave.

128
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,714
Look out!

129
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,137
[ Laughs ]

130
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,221
C'est moi, Napoleon.

131
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,723
What in the hell?

132
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,850
I guess Napoleon was
into One-Eyed Willy tech?

133
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,727
"It's me, Napoleon.

134
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,271
You thought you screwed us,
but we screwed you.

135
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,733
You broke our agreement, so I
am declaring Frontier Forfeit."

136
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,777
What's Frontier Forfeit?
"A well-known law

137
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,196
that allows the seller
to reclaim their land

138
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,363
after a contract breach.

139
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,907
That's right, Jefferson.

140
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,700
I am taking back
the Louisiana Territory.

141
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,911
And you can't stop me,
because you'll be dead.

142
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:46,828
Syphilis bomb!"

143
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,497
[ Laughs ]

144
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,665
[ Laughs loudly ]

145
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,338
Anti-syphilis pill?
Anti-syphilis pill?

146
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,048
So Napoleon tried
to kill Jefferson

147
00:04:58,089 --> 00:04:59,466
and take back
the territory?

148
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,259
Wow, the guy
who conquered all of Europe

149
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,969
tried to reclaim land
and kill a guy.

150
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,429
Move over, Watergate!

151
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,097
Should we destroy the evidence,
sir?

152
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,266
What? No. That would actually
make it feel like Watergate.

153
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,852
I don't know what that is.

154
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,814
Okay, big deal. So I didn't see
one Kevin Costner movie.

155
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,774
You mean "Waterworld"?
Whatever. Let's bail.

156
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,359
And, O'Doyle,
pack up one

157
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,944
of those ankle etchings
for my, uh...

158
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,403
personal collection.

159
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,989
[ Record scratching ]

160
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,035
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

161
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:32,874
♪♪

162
00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:36,837
♪♪

163
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,299
♪♪

164
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:42,759
[ Bell clangs ]

165
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:43,885
♪♪

166
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,387
[ Pigeons cooing ]

167
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,182
♪♪

168
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,308
[ Explosion ]

169
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:53,395
♪♪

170
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,771
[ Pigeon squawks ]

171
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:59,985
♪♪

172
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,361
[ Bell clanging ]

173
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,029
[ Thunder rumbling ]

174
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,823
[ Thunder crashes ]

175
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:10,912
♪♪

176
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:19,379
♪♪

177
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,715
[ Commandant Dulac straining ]

178
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,050
♪♪

179
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,094
[ Straining continues ]

180
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,345
♪♪

181
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,805
[ Bell tolling ]

182
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,057
[ Gasps ]

183
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,808
[ Grunts ]

184
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:39,149
♪♪

185
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,525
[ Grunts ]

186
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:47,574
♪♪

187
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,867
[ Speaking French ]

188
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,284
[ Guards gasp ]

189
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,912
[ Guards shouting in French ]

190
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,956
Sir, I know I can be an even
better Secret Service agent

191
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,166
now that I'm a werewolf.

192
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,709
I've got the tech,
I've got the drive.

193
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,210
We tried
to make you a part of the team

194
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:01,087
and you ate a guy's leg!
But not his head!

195
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,214
That has to count
for something!
[ Knock on door ]

196
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,176
Sir, I have Marc Luc de Bergeron
on the line.

197
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:09,512
He's the head of France's Real
Estate Acquisitions Department.

198
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,723
Real Estate Acquisitions?
[ Door closes ]

199
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:13,767
This is President Curtis.

200
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,518
What can I do for you, Marc Luc?

201
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,064
A great question, Mr. President.
What can you do for us?

202
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,775
I just wanted to notify you
that France is...

203
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,152
interested in American land.

204
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,988
In case we should need
legal...documentation --

205
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,699
Sorry. Connection bad.
What the hell?

206
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,409
"To legally initiate
Frontier Forfeit,

207
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,994
a representative
of the former seller

208
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,371
must notify
the current landholder --"

209
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,580
Fucking English!

210
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,873
They know we broke
the agreement!

211
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,750
Oh, God damn it!
Wait, Napoleon's dead.

212
00:07:38,832 --> 00:07:40,335
How can he still have
a claim to that land?

213
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,753
His penis.
Together: What?

214
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,588
According to
1800s Napoleonic Code,

215
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,799
all you needed to be
a French citizen was a dick,

216
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,551
so technically,
Napoleon's penis is Napoleon.

217
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,095
It was actually
America's law, too,

218
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,346
until they realized
women live longer than men

219
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,681
and, thus, pay more taxes.

220
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,224
-That tracks.
-Wait, they can reclaim

221
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,308
the entire Louisiana Territory
with his penis?

222
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,936
If they bring it
to a U.S. court

223
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,230
and certify it as a citizen,
yeah.

224
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:01,815
What the fuck, man?

225
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,858
The good news --
His penis is still in the wind.

226
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,694
It passed through black market
art circles in New Orleans

227
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,612
a few years back,
and no one has seen it since.

228
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,280
If it's in the shadows
of Louisiana,

229
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,782
I know a guy
who can find it.

230
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,033
Banks, get the chopper.

231
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,284
O'Doyle, get the cooler.

232
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,536
And, Chomps, don't even ask.

233
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,121
Sir. Let me be a werewolf
for good.

234
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,289
Why? So you can eat
my innocent legs next?

235
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,667
Hell no.
You two, let's roll!

236
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,671
[ Door slams open ]

237
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,172
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

238
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,299
God, I'd hate to
actually be able to see in here.

239
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,801
Shh!

240
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,096
[ Hisses ]
Vampire! Stand back!

241
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,140
I'm gonna eat you
like the cattle you are.

242
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:39,644
I'll make you pray for sunrise,
you bloodsucking bastard.

243
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,145
[ Both grunting ]

244
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,355
[ Both laugh ]

245
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,648
Well, we got 'em!

246
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,816
We got them so good!

247
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,568
What the hell?
[ Hissing ]

248
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,280
Don't worry, guys.
This is Salem Montgomery.

249
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,865
These guys have helped
every American president

250
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,783
since Washington.
Be honest.

251
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,577
Did you believe
we were gonna fight?

252
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,703
He texted me to make
sure we got it right.

253
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,246
He texted you
about this?

254
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,956
Monty, we're in a hurry,
so I'll cut to the chase.

255
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,916
We're looking
for Napoleon's penis.

256
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,128
Black market deal, bought
by a very wealthy collector.

257
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,338
Why do you want it?
None of your business, leech.

258
00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,799
O'Doyle, don't be a dick.
Just show him the stuff.

259
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,343
[ Vampires hiss ]
Elsie.

260
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,346
An off-grid atheistic sex cult
died in a freak avalanche.

261
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,224
The snow preserved their blood
at a perfect 28 degrees.

262
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,227
We're talking rare,
nondenominational O-negative.

263
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,021
[ Hisses, moans ]

264
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,482
Half now, half after
you help us secure the penis.

265
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,567
You've got yourself a deal,
Andre.

266
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,069
Eat up, boys!

267
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,822
[ Vampires hiss, moan ]

268
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:35,116
So, they have straws
in their teeth?
What?

269
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,701
I thought they drank blood
with their mouths,

270
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,495
but they're like snakes
with straw teeth?

271
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:42,040
I was more distracted by their
weird orgasm noises, but yes.

272
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,124
Straw teeth.

273
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,793
Shoot me.
Come on, dummy.

274
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,795
Bet you can't hit me.
You bet me?

275
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,089
With what money?
I bet you'll miss.

276
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,049
[ Explosion ]
Chomps: Dr. Finch?

277
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,093
Alan Chomps!
Hey, how's the moon collar?

278
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,385
Eh, not great.

279
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,762
I ate
a construction worker's legs.

280
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,722
No shit.
We were fighting
these pod people

281
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,140
and the wolf in me just...

282
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,683
well, lost track
of who was on our side.

283
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,685
Aw! Assertive Attack Mode.

284
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,937
My old nemesis.

285
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,355
See, when a werewolf
senses danger,

286
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,440
its sole drive becomes
protecting the pack,

287
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,192
innocent bystanders
be damned.

288
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,527
Lie down, pal.

289
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,195
I just want to be
a werewolf for good.

290
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:15,740
Hey, with Finch, you're gonna
be a werewolf for great.

291
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,326
There's your penis,
Mr. President --

292
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:21,204
inside the private collection
of Armand Russo.

293
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,331
Napoleon's penis is
in his Famous Organs Wing,

294
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:26,167
next to Tutankhamun's brain
and Bette Davis' eyes.

295
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,086
Why are the lights off?
Are we breaking in?

296
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,754
Oh, of course we are.
Why am I asking?

297
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,464
Because you're a narc
at heart, Banks.

298
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,258
Now hack in and bring
down their security system.

299
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,759
What? Just have
the vampires run in there fast.

300
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,553
Ugh, fine. Monty?

301
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,929
You up for a quick
smash-and-grab?

302
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,430
Sorry,
but we need to be invited in.

303
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,765
Oh, my God.

304
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,433
[ Rumbling ]

305
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,185
Who the hell is that?!

306
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,938
♪♪

307
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,107
Vive Napoleon!
Au pénis!

308
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,441
She yelled
"to the penis."

309
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,609
Thanks so much, Banks.

310
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,278
[ Yelling ]

311
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,281
Aaaahh!

312
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,908
[ Glass shattering ]

313
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,910
See? They don't have a problem
breaking in!

314
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,954
They're working together!
What is this?

315
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,706
Get off my property --

316
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,623
Aghh!

317
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,458
Vive Napoleon!

318
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,835
You three,
go get the penis!

319
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,128
Monty and I
will hold them off!

320
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,629
But, sir,
she's a hemogoblin!

321
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,089
I can hear you, dick!

322
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,382
Just do it!

323
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,676
Elsie, do you want
to come inside? Let's go.

324
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,553
[ Alarm blaring ]

325
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,596
There it is!

326
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,598
Huh-huh! Vive Napoleon!

327
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,141
[ Hisses ]

328
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,145
Ha! [ Grunts ]

329
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,980
Aah!

330
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,982
Guard: Allez!

331
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,194
Ha ha ha ha.
Huh-huh-huh-huh.

332
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:35,778
[ Hisses ]

333
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,990
Elsie! Damn, girl.

334
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,242
I got it! I got the penis!

335
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,368
Correction --

336
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,870
J'ai le pénis.

337
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,580
[ Gasps, clears throat ]

338
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,873
[ Screams ]

339
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,293
Mauvaise conception!
Mauvaise conception!

340
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,629
[ Guard screams ]

341
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,839
Pretty quick reflexes
for a piece of shit.

342
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,008
[ Yelling ]

343
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,222
L'Amérique
va plier le genou!

344
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,307
I don't speak French,
but I assume you're saying

345
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,433
I have a small dick!

346
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,227
Aah!

347
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,479
[ Screaming ]

348
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,191
We got it!
We got the penis!

349
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,151
It's over.
The penis is ours.

350
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,569
And so is
the damn territory.

351
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,987
Tie her up, O'Doyle.

352
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,447
And, Monty,
classy, as always.

353
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,407
Really earned the payment
this time.

354
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,867
Indeed, we have.

355
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:23,952
[ Vampires hissing ]

356
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,411
What's that hiss?

357
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,705
That's the only language
you Americans speak --

358
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,123
laser dots and money!

359
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,875
The hell
are you talking about?

360
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,211
Jefferson promised us
free reign in Louisiana

361
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,630
if we helped him secure
the territory.

362
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,548
And then
he Zuckerberg'd us!

363
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,092
Split the land into states

364
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,178
and squished Louisiana
down into this goddamn boot!

365
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,180
We can't even leave
without being invited in

366
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,349
to other states.

367
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,936
Thankfully, Commandant Dulac
made us a better deal.

368
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,354
Un plaisir, Montgomery.

369
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,939
Oh, this is great.

370
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,857
They're also working
with the French?!

371
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,193
We help get this penis
certified in court,

372
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,945
and they'll give us free reign

373
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,739
when Louisiana reverts back
to full size.

374
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,283
We'll eat the tourists
like cattle

375
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,077
and we can finally see
Nebraska!

376
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,870
Monty,
I was counting on you!

377
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,623
Desperate times
make for great deals.

378
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,874
Ugh.
[ Smooches ]

379
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,459
À la victoire!

380
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,752
Ha ha!

381
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,004
♪♪

382
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,256
Dishonest
moon-tanning sluts!

383
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,091
That is the last time
I text a vampire.

384
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,592
You're right about that.

385
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,845
[ Vampires hissing ]

386
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:27,307
Before you say anything, I had
no idea about the double cross.

387
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,183
Those guys
don't tell me shit.

388
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,145
Oh, good. The vampire
who's not in the group chat.

389
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,438
Lucky us.

390
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,317
Dr. Finch: Alright.
That should do it.

391
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,776
I modified your collar with a
short-range Innocence Detector.

392
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,778
What's that?

393
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,405
It's kinda right there
in the name, but okay.

394
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,365
If you try to attack
an innocent being,

395
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,285
the collar will auto-flush
with this werewolf suppressant.

396
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,163
And fun bonus --
It's chicken-and-rice-flavored.

397
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,622
[ Cellphone buzzes ]
Hold on, I'm getting a call.

398
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,790
It's probably my wife, Nina.
Oh, scratch that.

399
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,460
Second best.
It's the president.

400
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,128
Go for Chomps.

401
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,297
Curtis: The French got the penis
and vampires betrayed us.

402
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,424
What?!
Jefferson screwed us.
It's a whole thing.

403
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,760
America needs you
to be a werewolf for good.

404
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,303
I will not let you down,
sir.

405
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,347
Great!
Because we're pretty fucked.

406
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,433
Banks, do you have a hairpin
and three pennies?

407
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,102
[ Gulps ]

408
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,812
What the hell
are you doing?

409
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,939
Curtis: His leprechaun stomach
is like a furnace or something!

410
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,941
It can digest metal
and make cool shit.

411
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,486
[ Stomach gurgling ]
[ Straining ]

412
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,528
Mm...

413
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,030
Brass alloy.

414
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:26,282
So I can make wood-tipped
bullets for your friends.

415
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,744
Is he always this weird?
Usually.

416
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,412
You betrayed
your own people.

417
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,955
To save
your ungrateful ass.

418
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,332
Twice, by the way.

419
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,292
Saved your ass twice,
but who's counting?

420
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,835
You, obviously.

421
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,337
Listen,
if they can throw away loyalties

422
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,923
that easily,
they aren't my people.

423
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,925
[ Sighs ]

424
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,469
I appreciate...

425
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,845
saving...

426
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,263
Just give me the blood.
Please take it.

427
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,681
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

428
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,517
[ Electricity buzzing ]

429
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,647
Hey.
Can I help you guys?

430
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,148
Please, invite us in.

431
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,067
Do you want to come in?

432
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,527
It doesn't work like that.

433
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,987
You need to invite us in
so we can see the judge.

434
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,532
You -- You want the judge
to invite you in?

435
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,866
I mean, sure.

436
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,368
Why would
he come out here?

437
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,120
That's weird.
You're the one who pitched it.

438
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,664
Look, we just need
the judge to slam down his gavel

439
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,959
and declare this penis a citizen
capable of owning land.

440
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:21,045
Yep, the gavel slam
can do that.

441
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,922
Sorry. Did you want me
to do something?

442
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,549
I'm still confused.

443
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,050
[ Hisses ]

444
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,387
I think you'll find clarity
on your neck.

445
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,347
H-How am I supposed
to look at my own neck?

446
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:34,600
Huh. Hang on.
No clarity yet.

447
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,227
Alright, ya meat-muncher.

448
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,520
You are good to go.

449
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,855
Ooh, a scratching post!

450
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,314
Oh, also, Dribble has
this show

451
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,483
that just streams raw meat.

452
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:43,901
Go nuts, big boy.

453
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,572
[ Howling ]

454
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:48,865
[ Knocking ]

455
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,992
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

456
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,706
Oh, man.
Why did you kill the guard?

457
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,083
He brought me outside. I
thought that's what you wanted.

458
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,918
[ Helicopter approaching ]

459
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,253
Oh, God, who is that?

460
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,755
People with even less patience
than us.

461
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,382
Ha!
Okay, okay. Geez.

462
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:09,510
Just give me
the subject in question!

463
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,845
Uh, right.

464
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,514
The court hereby
declares this penis a citizen,

465
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,308
fully capable
of holding land.

466
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,393
In accordance
with outdoor judge rules,

467
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,103
I simply need to bang down
this gavel

468
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,104
on the hood of a car.

469
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:20,938
[ Gunshot ]
Aah!

470
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,273
Gavel's down.

471
00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:24,567
Alright, everyone!
Move, move, move!

472
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,068
Aim for their hearts!

473
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,778
[ Vampires screaming ]
God damn it.

474
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,614
Protéger le pénis!

475
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,199
Okay, definitely bringing these
to the seminar.

476
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,825
See? It's motivational.

477
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,702
[ Vampires screaming ]

478
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,372
Ha! Ha ha!

479
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,292
Uhh!

480
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,127
[ Hisses ]

481
00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,922
Ah-aah-aah! Aah-aah!

482
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,131
[ Screaming ]

483
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,299
Ha! [ Grunts ]

484
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,009
Tony: Well, well, well.

485
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,136
Fuck off, Tony.
You think I'm scared?

486
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,804
You can't turn me
and you can't bite me.

487
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,891
Oh, but I can do
a little stakey-stakey.

488
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,476
[ Vampires screaming ]

489
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,603
Perks of being
on my good side.

490
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,523
Dr. Finch: Oh, man! Someone
cut them all up into pieces.

491
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,858
And you know
their fingers touched it.

492
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,444
Michael in Accounting!
Whatchu watchin', bro-ham?

493
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,488
I'll tell you what
I'm not watching --

494
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:11,614
ads!

495
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,616
Ever since I upgraded
to Dribble Pro.

496
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,660
No ads, no problems.

497
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,868
Ruh-oh.

498
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:18,663
Uh, why'd
you just say "ruh-oh"?

499
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,873
Because I put on a show
with raw meat for a werewolf

500
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,375
and it might play ads.

501
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,584
Ruh-oh.

502
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,506
Man on TV:
Is your puppy cold in the snow?

503
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,299
Try Puppy Pals' Paw Booties.

504
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:33,010
Because innocent paws deserve
to be pampered.

505
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,011
[ Collar beeping ]

506
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,221
[ Growls ]

507
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,889
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, gee.

508
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,849
Oh, oh, man! Whoa!

509
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,852
Frappez votre marteau de juge
sur le capot de la voiture.

510
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,230
Idiot! He can't slam
his gavel on that.
Huh?

511
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,898
It needs to be
on a car.

512
00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,608
Outdoor judge rules.
[ Gasps ]

513
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,361
Espèce d'enfoiré,
tu l'as cassé!

514
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,196
What are you gonna do, Monty?
Huh?

515
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,573
Turn me into a vampire?

516
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:54,949
Yeah, you wish.

517
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,451
You'd be the lamest,
tackiest vampire...

518
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,036
sparkling
in the sun-level shit.

519
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,288
I'd be cringing.

520
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,956
Oh, but these guys
are cool?

521
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:03,249
If this is the crew

522
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,959
you chose to turn, yikes.

523
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,628
You couldn't pull off the
frilly shirts and you know it!

524
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,756
You have no idea
what I could pull off.

525
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:11,966
Why are you smiling?

526
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,759
Release the wolf.

527
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,596
[ Chomps screaming ]

528
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:17,847
Jesus Christ.

529
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,265
Was that supposed
to be a demonstration

530
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,266
of how ruthless you are?

531
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,184
Yes. Did it work?

532
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,895
Montgomery: See?
This is exactly why you'd suck

533
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,063
at being a vampire.

534
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,815
Of all the presidents I've seen,

535
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,442
you have to be the worst!

536
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,110
Coming from your lying,
cheating, Anne Rice-looking ass,

537
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,445
I take that
as a compliment.

538
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:35,114
I'd rather eat turds
than be like you.

539
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,074
I'll show you turds!

540
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,618
[ Yells ]

541
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,911
[ Groans ]

542
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,330
Put a cross into a crossbow.

543
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,040
Thankfully there was
a church right here.

544
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,667
I'm surprised you didn't use
that element more in the fight.

545
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:49,086
Chomps, holy shit!
You survived!

546
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,755
Well, I did actually die,
but I focused

547
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,257
my werewolf regeneration
into my arm bones.

548
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,593
[ Rooster crows ]

549
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,429
[ Sighs ]

550
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,097
If you two are ever
in New Orleans again,

551
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,307
drop me a line.

552
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,184
I'll be alive...
kinda forever.

553
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,811
And, uh, if you ever want
to see D.C...

554
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,229
you're invited in.

555
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,564
To every part
that isn't the White House.

556
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,441
Or my townhouse.
Or Banks' apartment.

557
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:12,109
Actually,
maybe just call first.

558
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,320
See you when I see you.

559
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,113
Non. [ Gasps ]

560
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,198
[ Sobs ]

561
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,117
Non. Napoleon.

562
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,328
Hey. I, uh --
I think that's how

563
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,080
he would've wanted
to go out...

564
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,623
torn and trampled
on the battlefield.

565
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,375
Also, all of you
are under arrest

566
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,460
and banned
from this country forever.

567
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,964
Julia, get me the files on that
new Marseille real estate deal.

568
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,049
[ Telephone rings ]

569
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,384
This is Marc Luc de Burgeron.

570
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,135
Curtis: Hey.
It's President Curtis.

571
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,055
Just wanted to let you know,
your interest in American land

572
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:43,224
has been noted
and rejected.

573
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:46,394
But there is still a piece of
American land France can have.

574
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:47,687
Yeah?
Yeah.

575
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,438
My ass.
You can eat it.

576
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,149
[ Scoffs ] As long
as my people are cooking,

577
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,276
your ass will be
a culinary treat.

578
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,278
Yeah, right.
My ass is 10 times tougher

579
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,738
than anything
you've ever eaten.

580
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,949
Well, I intend to soak it
in butter.

581
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,617
That'll just make it slippery.

582
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,327
And you can't slip your way out
of a mouth full of me.

583
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,829
Ooh-kay, sir!

584
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,122
Selling past the close!

585
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,124
There he is!
The man of the hour.

586
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,583
How you feeling, Chomps?

587
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,378
Well, I mean, I died,
so I'm in that club now.

588
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,296
It's an adjustment
for all of us, Chomps.

589
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,298
-Post-battle hot wing, anyone?
-You sure?

590
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,675
I thought
we couldn't handle them.

591
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,719
Well, sir,
today I learned it's wrong

592
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,345
to make assumptions
about people.

593
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,389
So I made enough wings
for everyone.

594
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,473
Yes!
Hell yeah!

595
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,683
Janice: Alrighty.

596
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,101
[ Spits ]

597
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,644
Oh, my God.
These are terrible.

598
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,688
Yeah, maybe stop trying
to make the wings a symbol

599
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,023
of how far you've come
and just add less cayenne.

600
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,275
[ Laughter ]

601
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,026
I have
a heavy pour.

602
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,611
[ Laughter ]

603
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,405
[ Sighs ]
There goes my GERD.

604
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,781
[ Laughter ]

605
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,367
Janice: Oh, we have fun!

606
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:49,039
♪ How much for Louisiana? ♪

607
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,417
♪ Just name your price ♪

608
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:55,546
♪ Vampires
tryin' to be invited ♪

609
00:20:55,588 --> 00:21:00,176
♪ Stole a penis from a jar ♪

610
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,261
♪ Voulez Voo Doo ♪

611
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:07,516
♪ Je m'appelle soapy balls ♪

612
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:08,934
[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

613
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,603
♪♪

614
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:12,021
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

615
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,193
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

616
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,736
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

617
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:23,574
♪♪

618
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,117
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

619
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:30,998
♪♪

620
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,583
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

621
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:36,962
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

622
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,426
[ Cellphone whooshes ]

623
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,928
[ Cellphone whooshes ]