1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,130
[ Laughter ]

2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,132
Hey! Too far!
It's ominous down there!

3
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,011
So go get it ominously!

4
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,972
[ Screams ]

5
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,224
It's okay, little girl.

6
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,642
We'll take it from here.

7
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,268
Actually, we'll take it
from here.

8
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,187
Actually,
we'll take it from here.

9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,189
Gentlemen!
We'll take it from here.

10
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,607
Who's that?
What did he say?

11
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,151
He's FBI!
He says he'll take it from here!

12
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,486
He can say that all he wants.

13
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:29,279
But we tend to take it
from here.

14
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:30,989
Every time.
Not this time.

15
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,241
Wait, Troy,
what the hell?

16
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,201
Sorry, Bob.
I've always been MIB.

17
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,161
Yes, but you've never been
Majestic Level.

18
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,871
Hank, what the hell?
Sorry, Tyler.

19
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,415
Okay. Wow. I guess you guys
are taking it from here.

20
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,251
You think I'm taking
anything from anywhere

21
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,627
with this guy ever again?

22
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,170
Good point.
Why don't you two pricks

23
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,547
just take everything
from everywhere?

24
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,840
What do you think?
You...want to take it?

25
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,509
From here? With me?

26
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,053
My whole life, I've been
taking things from places.

27
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,346
Today it's from here,

28
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,098
tomorrow it'll be
God knows what

29
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,474
from God knows where.

30
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,185
Just once,
I'd like to give it from here,

31
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,437
to someone
who can take it anywhere...

32
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,607
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
That's beautiful, gentlemen.
But unnecessary.

33
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:06,775
Troy. Bob. Hank. Tyler.

34
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:07,985
Yes, sir.
Mister President.
Sir.

35
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,194
We'll take it from here.

36
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,571
Man:
Is that the President?

37
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:12,990
I can't hear anything
that's going on.

38
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,658
We thought we were
taking it from here...
My partner of 15 years
just revealed...

39
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,118
...but the President is!
...they're a stranger!

40
00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:17,494
I refuse to take this
personally,

41
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,204
but I will never trust
anyone again!

42
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,664
I couldn't parse most of that,
so I'm assuming

43
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,249
the Coast Guard
is taking it from here?

44
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,542
All: No!
Okay!

45
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,878
That's all you had to say!
God-uh!

46
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:35,637
♪♪

47
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:44,104
♪♪

48
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:52,571
♪♪

49
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,866
Banks:
How does the Loch Ness Monster

50
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,200
wash up in Miami
wearing a prison jumpsuit?

51
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,493
Is Scotland exporting insanity

52
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,078
and doesn't Florida
have a surplus?

53
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,705
That jumpsuit isn't
from a normal prison.

54
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,081
It's from The Triangle.

55
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,500
America's secret
maximum security prison

56
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,502
at the heart
of the Bermuda Triangle.

57
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,670
We have
a paranormal Guantanamo?

58
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,965
Well, we can't put a ghost
in a regular prison, Banks.

59
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,383
Because they would love it.

60
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,426
Because they'd walk
through the walls.

61
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,844
Unless they were ghost walls.

62
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,471
Oh, and you don't think
they'd love that?

63
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,431
The Triangle is supposed
to be a sealed box.

64
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,183
But pointier.
With less sides.

65
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,310
This is the fourth escape
in three years.

66
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,895
Hm.
It's almost like a sealed,

67
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,938
pointy box full of bad stuff
eventually erupts.

68
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,774
They should invent
a name for that.
Lava pyramid.

69
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,984
Our monster prison
isn't leaking monsters

70
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,736
because of chaos theory,
dorkatron.

71
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,113
All of these escapees
have happened under one warden.

72
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:38,033
And look at this -- every
single escapee was registered

73
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,660
in the prison logs
as deceased...

74
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,745
before they could
have possibly escaped.

75
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,246
They're getting help
from the inside.

76
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,706
Corrupt guards?
Or you think it goes

77
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:45,916
all the way up
to the warden?

78
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,626
I don't get paid to think.

79
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,711
I mean, I do a little, but
I get results through action.

80
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,339
It's time the Triangle
got a surprise inspection.

81
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,966
Marine style.
White gloves and armored boots.

82
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,552
With fine-toothed combs
on the toes of the boots.

83
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
3D-printed to fit
the insides of asses.

84
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,181
I am so pumped for this.

85
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,308
Good. Because you're going
in undercover.

86
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,060
As an inmate.
Wait, wha-- Sir?

87
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,145
It does makes sense to go in
from the top and the bottom.

88
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,647
We'd never know
which guards are corrupt

89
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,565
by asking a warden
that's complicit or oblivious.

90
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,151
You're a man I can trust,
and, as a half-leprechaun,

91
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,820
you'd be fast-tracked
to the Triangle.

92
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,989
I'm a man you can trust because
I hate that I'm half-leprechaun.

93
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,408
I literally never lie.

94
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,826
I can't pretend
to be a criminal.

95
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:22,661
Who says you'd be pretending,
you fancy,

96
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,454
gold-sucking, rainbow-loving
piece of shit?

97
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:27,332
Sir.
No. No.
I know what you're doing.

98
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,084
[ Irish accent] I stole
yer lucky charms, me boy!

99
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,544
What --
What is happening?

100
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,170
He's trying to goad me
into assaulting him

101
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,214
by saying lepre-phobic shit,
which makes zero sense

102
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,134
because I'm already ashamed
of my paranormal ethnicity.

103
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,677
You love your mother.

104
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,346
[ Camera shutter clicks ]

105
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,889
[ Electricity zaps ]

106
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,059
Damn! Can't believe I got
put next to the guy

107
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,936
who assaulted the President
with a stapler.

108
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,353
What'd they get you for?

109
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,106
Eh, lured some schoolgirls
into the woods,

110
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,190
made 'em stab each other.

111
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,817
But they got me on tax evasion.

112
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,360
Sorry, I-I gotta sit down.

113
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,904
[ All screaming ]

114
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,118
Banks:
Actually kind of excited, sir.

115
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,369
It's my first recon mission.

116
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,037
And based on our
recent field work,

117
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,998
I've adopted a more versatile
system of safety protocols.

118
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:09,958
Don't nerf yourself
for my sake, Banks.

119
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,544
I do dangerous work, and I need
dangerous people on my team.

120
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,337
[ Exhales heavily ]
Woo!

121
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,591
Faster than a velociraptor, but
still slower than a baby yeti.

122
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,760
Also, how dangerous do you
really want your people?

123
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,554
Our country has a secret
detention center for freaks,

124
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,806
and your only problem
is that sometimes they get out.

125
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,433
It's not a prison
for quirky X-Men

126
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,018
and sexy scissorhands,
Banks.

127
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,562
It's the only place capable
of housing literal monsters

128
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,314
that commit actual crimes.

129
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,691
So I should be a dangerous freak
but never a criminal monster.

130
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,735
And the difference is?
You're on my team.

131
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,445
[ Both scream ]
Pilot: Mr. President!

132
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,905
We're entering the Triangle's
outer fringe!

133
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,865
This is as far
as Air Force One can go!

134
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,408
What?
But we're still in the air.

135
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,909
Yep.
Time to change planes.

136
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,745
Deploying umbilical!

137
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,457
Woman: Secured
and ready for passengers!

138
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,004
Amelia:
Hello, Mister President!

139
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,255
Welcome aboard!

140
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,507
Thanks for the assist,
Amelia!

141
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,550
Wait, Amelia?
As in Earhart?!

142
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,969
The one and only, dollface!
[ Squeals ]

143
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,680
She's the only pilot that can
navigate the Bermuda Triangle.

144
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,099
FDR's people found her
here flying in circles,

145
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,268
so they put her in charge
of Triangle transit.

146
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,437
Classic FDR,
just giving out jobs.

147
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,439
Then Truman gave me
these babies!

148
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,191
[ Rapid gunfire ]

149
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,526
[ Laughs maniacally ]

150
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,277
[ Shark screams ]
Yes!

151
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,779
[ Cow moos ]

152
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,242
[ Dune worm shrieks ]

153
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,537
[ Laughs maniacally ]

154
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,955
So...she can never land?

155
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,123
Wouldn't want to, kid!
Love flying.

156
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,125
Landing?
That's for cars!

157
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,293
[ Laughs maniacally ]

158
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,753
Uhh...
We're here!

159
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,174
Here, put this on.
We parachute from here.

160
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,093
Okay, fun. Huge fan.

161
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,554
Thank you for all
you've done for Americans.

162
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,222
And women.
And lesbians.

163
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,640
[ Grunts ]
You're welcome!

164
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,933
Wait, people are
still doing labels?

165
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,853
Whoo-hoo!

166
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,064
Alright, Banks, no matter
what this guy says or does,

167
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,691
remember we're not here
to make friends.

168
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,443
Mister President.
Warden Ken Jeffries.

169
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,736
Save the pleasantries,
Warden.

170
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,321
I'm here
for a full inspection.

171
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,614
Loud and clear, sir.

172
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,074
That's how we did it
in the Marines.

173
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,325
You're a Marine?

174
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,660
Three-Eight, Camp Lawson,
Okinawa.

175
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:09,995
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!

176
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:10,996
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!

177
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,163
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!

178
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,582
Oo-rah!
Yeah!
Oooooo-rah!

179
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,417
[ Both laugh ]
Um, guys?

180
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,168
My office is this way.
Want to march?

181
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,712
I was just gonna say!

182
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,422
[ Chanting ] I don't know
what I've been told!

183
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,299
Curtis: [ Chanting ] I've been
told what I've been told!

184
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:29,180
♪♪

185
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,974
Spirits! Aliens!

186
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,601
Mutants and Goo-gas!

187
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:34,644
Welcome to The Triangle!

188
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,397
You are here because
you have haunted, morphed,

189
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,358
doppelganged, eaten,
or maliciously laid eggs

190
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,902
in the greatest country
on Earth.

191
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,779
[ Laughs evilly ] Your kingdom
is a fleeting dream.

192
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,198
If death cannot contain me,
how will you?

193
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,909
I am Dracu--

194
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,537
[ Screaming ]
Well, in here, you are
Prisoner 7-5-6-2.

195
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,873
If you open your mouth,
we will shut it.

196
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,042
If you extend a second,
telescoping mouth,

197
00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:59,169
we will teleport you
into solid rock.

198
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,046
Guard: I don't want to hear
a single villain monologue

199
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:04,174
from you worms or a single worm
monologue from you villains.

200
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,929
From here on out, your ass,
ovipositor, pellet tube,

201
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,556
fecal portal,
or possessed car trunk

202
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,934
belongs to me!

203
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,644
Jeffries: Triangle mint
on a triangle tray?

204
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,770
Thanks.
I'm good.

205
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,896
I know what you're thinking --

206
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,648
"That's a pretty pointy shape

207
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,650
to base an entire prison's
interior decor around."

208
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,818
But half these animals
have razor-sharp bones,

209
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:26,571
and the other half can suck
your soul through your nostrils,

210
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,657
so why use a plastic
butter knife, right?

211
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,325
I'm mostly worried
about the very large,

212
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,911
triangular trophy displayed
on that remarkably high shelf.

213
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,871
Ah! You're thinking
if there's a big riot

214
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,040
and a climactic showdown
in this office,

215
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,751
I'll end up impaled
by a symbol of my hubris.

216
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,878
Well, if so,
I'll welcome that death.

217
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,589
Oo-rah!
But also we should talk about

218
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,383
how your prisoners
escape a lot.

219
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:47,968
You're damn right we should.

220
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,261
This prison needs to be
locked down and sealed tight.

221
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:53,723
I've got a thousand guards,
and I can trust about 50.

222
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,517
And they're all marines.
Marines!

223
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,519
Guys, maybe we could
take a look at the site

224
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,979
of the Loch Ness Monster
escape?

225
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,855
I mean, it's just a wall
with a big hole in it,

226
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,857
but if you really think
looking at it will help...

227
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,652
Sorry.
I brought my boss.

228
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,947
[ Humming ]

229
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,866
Hey, Mister Newbie,
can I ask you a question?

230
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,411
Are you gonna squeal
like a piggy when I...

231
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,706
[demonic voice] rend and mince
the soft puckered flesh

232
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,707
of your sphincter?!

233
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,668
Yeah, yeah.
You're a Soul Ganderer.

234
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,254
You can't touch people
that don't look at you.

235
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,464
[ Grumbling ]

236
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,258
He'll try to get you
with a mirror tonight.

237
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,428
I don't need a prison tutor.
Oh, that's probably true.

238
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,054
You are doing better
than Dracula.

239
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,389
Blah. Blah.

240
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,307
[ Sniffles ] Blah.
[ Cries ]

241
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,559
Hey.
Nosfor-cock-tu.

242
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:39,852
[ Laughs ]

243
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,479
You'll never be cool.

244
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,231
Uh-huh.

245
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,319
Hey, you scanning
the room?

246
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,238
It's my job to scan.

247
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,657
He didn't mean any harm,
Metaldetectoid.

248
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,118
If I want any information
from you, I'll scan you.

249
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,162
The only thing
I'm scanning right now

250
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,664
is this half-breed's
triangle jello.

251
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,999
You should recalibrate.

252
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,834
Ah!
Ah, shit, my lens!

253
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,711
It's pretty crazy
he didn't scan that coming.

254
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,172
Oh, my God,
I-I'm seeing color bars!

255
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,923
Jeffries:
This is where Nessie got out.

256
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,759
Triple-plated steel.
Electrified.

257
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,762
Voltage wasn't
Scottish Dinosaur-rated, though.

258
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,847
That's on me.
Takes a man to admit that.

259
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,265
What are all these doors?

260
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,059
Part of my new inmate
work initiative.

261
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,852
We have the prisoners
paint the doors.

262
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,353
I got the idea
from "Monsters, Inc."

263
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,856
Huh?
I got a prison
full of monsters, right?

264
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,441
Why not put 'em to work?
Right, right.

265
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:27,984
Like a one-eyed Billy Crystal.

266
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,944
That's what I called
my wiener in the Marines.

267
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,363
Hey!
Do that thing differently!

268
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,823
Sir, this is getting
ridiculous.

269
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,241
You've completely dropped
your standards

270
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,701
and are letting
this guy slide on everything

271
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,203
because he's a Marine.
That's accurate.

272
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,871
But is that
what a Marine would do?

273
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,372
Nice try.
The answer is yes.

274
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,708
Because the marines are
pre-vetted by the Marines.

275
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,502
If you can be a Marine,
you can do anything.

276
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,879
As long as there's a Pixar movie
to guide you, I guess?

277
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,048
Would it be more rational
for them to make license plates?

278
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549
Did that trope ever make sense?

279
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,384
He's just making
the place efficient.

280
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,761
Like the Post Office.

281
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,805
Ooh, goddamn,
I love the Post Office.

282
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,057
Friends, my apologies.
No problem.

283
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,558
You said you had
a voltage issue?

284
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,851
Should we look at
your power grid?

285
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,353
That is
next to the game room.

286
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,521
Oo-rah!
Oo-rah!

287
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,855
Oo-rah!
Yeah!

288
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,232
I'm just going to...
check out some...

289
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,691
Who cares? You're gone.

290
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,153
Whoa!
Sorry, can't let you do that.

291
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,364
New protocols --
you said no snooping.

292
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,698
Yeah, but I think we just need

293
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,242
to crawl in this hole
and make sure.

294
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,119
Kinda defeats the purpose
of having guidelines.

295
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,538
You want me to deactivate
so you can do some bad shit?

296
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,331
No, no, I want guidelines.

297
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,999
It's just this once, okay?

298
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,793
If I do it again, you can double
down on the restrictions.

299
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,379
Sounds like a slippery slope,
but alrighty!

300
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,422
[ Panting ]

301
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,926
Hey. Those guards --

302
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,594
you think they could help
move some contraband?

303
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:37,971
Har! Narc much?

304
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,931
[ Laughing ]
Yar-har-har-har!

305
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,850
He heard a rumor
you're an undercover cop.

306
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,518
Why would anyone think that?

307
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,061
Eh, I can't speak for them.

308
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,355
Me, I've got telepathic
filaments in my tentacles,

309
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,900
so I actually know you're
working for The President.

310
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,027
Hey, relax.
I'm telling you I know

311
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,238
because I want you to find
what you're looking for

312
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,614
before you get killed.

313
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,575
And what am I looking for?
It's not what.

314
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,285
It's where.
And where is that?

315
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,371
Mm, let's just say you're --
Will you fucking stop?!

316
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,249
So-rry! God-uh!

317
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,418
[ Panting ]
[ Machinery hums ]

318
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,460
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

319
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:10,670
Ahh! Ugh!

320
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,088
Ugh! Ugh!

321
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,923
Jesus!

322
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,427
"Prisoner Not Found."

323
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,721
Why am I not surprised?

324
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:23,474
Ow! What the hell?
Hi again!

325
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:26,102
Looks like you're about to jack
into a dead sentient android.

326
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,438
That's bad.
I'm just accessing its memory,

327
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,315
probably to bring its killers
to justice.

328
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,151
But you said to double down
if you broke protocol again.

329
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:36,321
Oh, my God.
if I do something actually bad,

330
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,906
you can make it hurt.

331
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:40,158
Until then, override and
give me some damn flexibility.

332
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,703
[ Scoffs ] Don't yell at me.
You programmed me.

333
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,414
Android: Ahhh!
I-I can't take it anymore!

334
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,374
Hernandez, help
me tighten these restraints.

335
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,960
Is it a weird time to say I'm
morally conflicted about this?

336
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,296
No, it's the perfect time,
Hernandez!

337
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,714
Ahhh!

338
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,674
[ Electronic beeping ]

339
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,801
I need to find Hernandez.

340
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,929
[ Squishing ]
Ugh.

341
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,139
Okay.
Side quest completed.

342
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,391
[ Door buzzing ]
That's it. East Wing.

343
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,976
That's where Nessie went?

344
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,645
Guards tried to take him there,
and he went berserk.

345
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,564
Hell, I don't blame him -- you
go there, you never come back.

346
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,066
That's why the escapees

347
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,360
are registered as deceased
before they leave.

348
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,278
They're not being helped
from inside.

349
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,822
They're being marked for death
and doing their best to get out.

350
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,824
[ Whistle blows ]
Guard:
Yard time is over, freaks!

351
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,952
Get your ugly asses, carapaces,

352
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,746
and prehensile tails
back inside now!

353
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,456
Not you two.
You know what happens

354
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,875
when inmates try to find out
if we're corrupt, don't ya?

355
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,543
You reveal your corruption?

356
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,836
It's the least we can do.

357
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,047
Hey, Metaldetectoid,
you hungry?

358
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,675
Yeah.
For unfinished beef.

359
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:40,051
How is this a threat?

360
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,552
I already beat this guy up
in one move.

361
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,054
And by scanning that move,

362
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,723
I extrapolated
your entire combat style.

363
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,226
Prepare to fight...yourself!

364
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,602
Rahh!

365
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,979
[ Grunting ]

366
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,272
Why would fighting yourself

367
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,148
be harder than fighting
a stranger?!

368
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,526
I fight myself every day!

369
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,945
[ Grunting intensely ]

370
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,571
Hey! Hey!
Whoa, take it easy!

371
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,366
We get it, man! You're good
at kicking your own ass!

372
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,243
[ Bleats ]
You get a pack of cigs
when you kill 'em.

373
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,078
Use your horns.
He's feisty.

374
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,330
If you think
I'm scared of a leprechaun,

375
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,082
you don't know goat.

376
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,750
[ Breathing heavily ]

377
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,168
Spider:
You think I'm stupid?

378
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,920
I'm not fighting them
for a pack of cigs!

379
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,673
But I would do it
for a picture of your wife.

380
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,466
Deal.

381
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,260
Mm-mm-mmm.

382
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,346
What's a hot spider like her
even doing with a guy like you?

383
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,931
Maybe it's not really
my wife.

384
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,266
Maybe I've been giving you
photos of spiders

385
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,184
to make you do shit.
[ Sighs ]

386
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,104
Tangled in the web
of my own porn addiction.

387
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,358
Both: ♪ We're eagle, globe,
and anchor ♪

388
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,776
♪ We fight
with piss and rancor ♪

389
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,694
♪ Semper Fi, that's my guy ♪

390
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:40,945
Marines!

391
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,447
Yeah! [ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]

392
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,781
It's amazing, isn't it?

393
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,241
We were both soldiers,

394
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,618
and now we're each kings
of our own domains.

395
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,912
In a way, you've got a
harder country to run than I do.

396
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,622
Trying to contain
all these monsters.

397
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,459
Well, if they let me run
it the way I really want,

398
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,918
both of us could be happy.

399
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,296
♪ The world is full,
of different folks ♪

400
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,340
♪ And some of them
are monsters ♪

401
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,800
♪ They're not like us,
so lock them up ♪

402
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,720
♪ And seal their screams
forever ♪

403
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,806
♪ If the cells get full,
you cull the herd ♪

404
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,850
♪ And their deaths
will be my -- ♪

405
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,269
Ho! Whoa!
Okay, a little extreme.

406
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,979
I didn't know you'd go
full Nazi.

407
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,273
Aren't people who call
people Nazis the real Nazis?

408
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,650
[ Cellphone ringing ]
Nope. Answer your phone.

409
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,943
This is Jeffries.

410
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,112
Christ. Alright, I'm coming.

411
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,614
What was that?
Fight in the yard.

412
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,283
A new leprenoid
killed 20% of Cell Block D.

413
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,534
Uh, about that.

414
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,994
The "leprenoid's" mine.

415
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,121
Before I came, I, uh --
I put him undercover

416
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,332
because I thought you might
be...incompetent.

417
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,376
Oh.
Quite the "oo-rah" move.

418
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,294
Right?
But you can bring him up here.

419
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,837
He won't be causing you
any more trouble.

420
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,589
You're right about that.

421
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,715
"Guard button?"

422
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,092
Oh, wait -- what is this?

423
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,843
I'm sorry it had to come
to this, Curtis.

424
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,261
So really it's a door button.

425
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,013
The guards were
already waiting behind the door.

426
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,848
Also, you really think
you can get away with this?

427
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,016
I'm the President!

428
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,684
You're in the Bermuda Triangle.

429
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,645
It would have been weirder
if you'd made it back home.

430
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,189
Rgh! I guess you pushed the
"bag over the head" button?!

431
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,607
Ugh!

432
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,526
[ Groaning ] Huh?

433
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,944
What is -- What is this?

434
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,362
[ Grunts ]

435
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,989
[ Sighs ] Can't believe
I trusted that monster.

436
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,449
Not always a bad thing, sir.

437
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,077
O'Doyle?
I came in here hating
these freaks,

438
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,497
but I found kindness
in a radioactive Swamptopus.

439
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,706
Hi.

440
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,125
How radioactive is he?

441
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,335
Like a laptop
on a crotch or...?

442
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,712
Jeffries: Alright, test subjects
are locked in.

443
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,047
Canisters are online.

444
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,674
Begin the extraction!

445
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,093
Aghh! God in heaven!

446
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,053
[ All screaming ]

447
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,721
Sir, I have a technique
for this --

448
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,724
Imagine every scream brings
your mother closer to orgasm.

449
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,935
What?!
So you deprive her of it!

450
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,604
[ All screaming ]

451
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,231
[ All breathing heavily ]

452
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,066
Jeffries: Did the tank
fill with anything?

453
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,860
No, sir.
Goddammit!

454
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,903
I added microchips
to the canisters.

455
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,364
How is it still not collecting
their screams?

456
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,450
Wait, you're seriously doing
a "Monsters, Inc."?

457
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,868
I told you I was!

458
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,369
You got it backwards,
you idiot.

459
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,204
You're supposed
to use children for the screams.

460
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,415
That's what the doors are for!

461
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,250
We were eventually
going to connect them

462
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,002
to children's closets.

463
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,838
And then, of course...
come the giggles.

464
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,924
Goddammit, how desperate was I
to connect with someone?

465
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,634
Check the wiring
and run it again!

466
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,927
Harder!

467
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,345
[ Curtis screaming ]

468
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,098
Hey, pal, this East Wing,
Room 213?

469
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,766
You know it.
Torture central.

470
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,685
You believe that's the
President of the United States

471
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,769
squealing in there?

472
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,979
[ Screams ]

473
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,314
Thank God.
I don't know how long

474
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,940
I could've sustained
that guard accent.

475
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,526
Urgh!
Oh, shit, shit, shit.

476
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,778
[ Screaming continues ]

477
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,322
[ Whirring ]

478
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,073
Ahhh!

479
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,492
What do you think?
Do you like it?

480
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,118
What the fuck?!
Why am I on fire?!

481
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,620
I did what you asked!

482
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,413
You're trying to hack
into a federal prison.

483
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,707
Override!
Just open door 213!

484
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,460
Okay, okay.
Hmm, so many doors.
[ Screaming ]

485
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,129
[ Chuckles ] Might take
a while to find that.

486
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,464
Hmm, let's see.
[ Hums ]

487
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,466
Oh, my God,
just open all the doors!

488
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,800
Ahh!
Thought you'd never ask!

489
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:50,885
I love us. Byeeee!

490
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,053
[ Screams ]

491
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,222
[ Alarm blaring ]

492
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,516
[ Screams ]
I'll never do it again!

493
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,060
Ooh! Pain's gone.
Might do it again.

494
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,646
[ Screaming ]

495
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,314
Stop! Let me go!

496
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,107
All I did was lead
a troubled child

497
00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:06,858
to an eternal realm
of light and love!

498
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,027
Never saw it.

499
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:09,694
[ Babies cooing ]
Blah!

500
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,156
[ Babies crying ]

501
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,160
[ Laughing ]
Yar-ha-ah-ha-har!

502
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,663
[ Whispers indistinctly ]

503
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,959
Oh shit! Oh, God!
I've been so mean to them!

504
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,210
[ Panting ]

505
00:17:24,292 --> 00:17:25,545
Oh, it's just you.

506
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:29,048
What are you gonna do,
turn into a bat?

507
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,883
[ Gasping ]

508
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,010
No, no, no -- Agh!

509
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,679
Meeting adjourned.

510
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,350
Check out me, Dracula,
in "Monster Squad," 1987.

511
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,185
What the hell is going on?!

512
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,020
[ Tires screech ]

513
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,730
Thanks for the lift,
Evil Haunted Car.

514
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,817
♪ I'm not haunted,
I'm just evil ♪

515
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,360
You!

516
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,863
♪ It's time to chase you down ♪
Ahh!

517
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,283
Banks!
Holy shit, way to go!

518
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,617
I know, right?
I'm kind of awesome.

519
00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,202
I should've listened to you,
Banks.

520
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,662
I got so sucked up
in Marine culture

521
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,206
and bro-ing out,
I-I took my eyes off the ball.

522
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,208
I was wrong, too, sir.
There's things in here

523
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,668
that need to stay
locked up forever.

524
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,212
Yeah,
but not all of them.
Hi.

525
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,423
So, all our lessons
cancel each other out?

526
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,134
Maybe the lesson is that,
together, we learn nothing.

527
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,885
Can we just go back
to that evil car?

528
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,263
I mean, if it was making up
original songs to communicate,

529
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,848
why not just talk?

530
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,725
So much extra work.

531
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,518
[ Minion snarling ]

532
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,394
Right. Let's go!

533
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,771
[ All grunting, panting ]

534
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,858
[ Beeping ]

535
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,027
TV ghost!

536
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,903
This is why you need
ghost walls!

537
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,449
[ Grunts ]
Jeff Dunham should be
in this cell, not me!

538
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,618
[ Groans ]
[ Beeping ]

539
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,952
[ Girl giggling ]

540
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,412
Um, guys?

541
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,414
You wanna play a game?

542
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,583
It's called oopsies killsies.

543
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,168
Nobody look at her.
She can't hurt you

544
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,586
if you don't look.
I already did.

545
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,588
Yeah, obviously I did.
I said "um, guys"

546
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,964
to draw everyone's attention
to her.

547
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,257
Yeah,
I looked at her, too.

548
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,092
[ Giggles ]
Here comes the...

549
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,429
[demonic voice]
predictable big voice!

550
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,805
Shit, shit, shit! Run!

551
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,058
[ Laughs evilly ]

552
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,310
[ Growls ]

553
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:08,522
Get ready to be
a head on my shoulders!

554
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,776
[ Engine shuts off ]

555
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,195
Sometimes the best way
to fly is to land!

556
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,072
Amelia!
Whoa!
Big assist!

557
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,240
You, ma'am,
are a legend!

558
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,369
Well, now fucking what?

559
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:23,371
Stupid... [ Grumbling ]

560
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:25,206
It's over,
you piece of shit.

561
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,290
You ruined it!

562
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,000
You know how long I plotted

563
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,002
to get that scream power?!

564
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,253
Was any of today real?

565
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,296
Were you even a Marine?

566
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,798
Of course I was,

567
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,591
but I got kicked out
for killing another Marine

568
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,760
and pirating "Toy Story,"
not in that order.

569
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,179
So this whole time,
you were the real monster.

570
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,765
Obviously!
They gave me a trophy for it!

571
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:43,974
[ Ding! ]

572
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,476
Oo-rah!

573
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,644
Ugh! Ow!

574
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,312
Ahh!

575
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,606
Ugh! [ Groans ]

576
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,984
I saw this coming.
[ Groans] I set it up.

577
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,403
You better tell the people

578
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,780
that I-I died getting out
in front of it.

579
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,782
Ow! [ Groans ]

580
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,326
[ Canister humming ]

581
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,495
Did that canister
just fill up with power?

582
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,747
It looks like
he accidentally

583
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,582
invented a way
to contain irony.

584
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,918
What? Didn't he just tape
microchips and wires

585
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:13,045
to the outside of a scuba tank
with a horn on it?

586
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,338
[ Canister hums, dings ]

587
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,881
Okay, we get it.

588
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,466
Eh, that should do it.

589
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,009
All set, Mr. President.

590
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,177
Bit tricky figuring out

591
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,595
how to get a consistent signal

592
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,472
through a pocket
of intangible ether.

593
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,850
But you were in a pinch,
and you called Finch.

594
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,686
Yes, Finch,
you're a very memorable person.

595
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,854
[ Line ringing ]

596
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,439
[ Telephone rings ]
Warden Earhart.

597
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,941
Amelia, you've got
a direct line to me now,

598
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:35,359
I want open communication

599
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,777
between the Triangle
and my office.

600
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,029
Of course, sir.
And do I get a secretary?

601
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,364
Is she gonna be hot?

602
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,366
Uhh, I-I'll see
what's in the budget.

603
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,910
Also how is the, uh,
Swamptopus?

604
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,413
He's doing good.
Started tutoring other monsters,

605
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,290
trying to help them
get their GEDs.

606
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,791
See, in my day,
I was a monster

607
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,501
for having boobies
and flying a plane.

608
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,295
These rag-a-muffins
deserve a chance

609
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,504
to be seen differently,
too.

610
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,839
You're the boss, Amelia.

611
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,048
Thanks, Mr. President!

612
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,550
And good boobie-bye.

613
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,470
Welp, seems like our
secret monster Guantanamo's

614
00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:04,722
finally in good hands.
And as for me,

615
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,475
instead of limiting my behavior
with painful internal protocols,

616
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,436
I've decided to trust myself
with a more subtle reminder.

617
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,730
[ Telephone ringing ]

618
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,648
Wait, which one is ringing?

619
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,276
They need to jiggle when they
ring so I have a visual cue.

620
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,861
I think it's the pentagram.

621
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,071
What happens if I answer
and they're not calling?

622
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,073
Then it calls them.
[ Groans ]

623
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,117
Hang on, I got this.

624
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,536
[ Door whirs ]

625
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,289
[ Muffled ringing ]

626
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,208
Alright, I'll add a jiggle.

627
00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:33,918
God-uhh!

628
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:40,007
♪ Sometimes monsters
go to prison ♪

629
00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,426
♪ Sometimes they don't ♪

630
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:46,597
♪ Sometimes
we're the real monsters ♪

631
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:51,143
♪ When the monster
is our shame ♪

632
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:53,437
♪ But who's to blame ♪

633
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:58,776
♪ If we don't wash our balls? ♪

634
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,278
[ Chuckling ]
Blah! Blah!

635
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,530
Who's that?

636
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,531
You don't want to fuck
with him.

637
00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:04,657
He used to get picked on,

638
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,450
but then he turned into a bat,

639
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,118
flew into
a prison guard's mouth,

640
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,162
and turned back into Dracula.

641
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,622
Inside the guy.

642
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,957
So, if I fight him,

643
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,792
I just need to keep
my mouth closed?

644
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,961
Are you talking about
Dracula?

645
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:18,629
Mind your own business.
[ Hisses ]

646
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,131
You did it now, fish!

647
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,758
[ Bat grunting ]

648
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,135
[ Indistinct shouting,
cheering ]