1 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:10,469 -♪ (POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -This Fourth of July will mark America's 250th birthday. 2 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,013 To honor this moment, we want to take a look back 3 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:16,099 at some of the events, people, and ideas 4 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,352 that helped shape and preserve 5 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,437 our grand experiment in self-government. 6 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,148 Our Founding Fathers drafted a charter 7 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:26,276 to guarantee the rule of law and the rights of man. 8 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,071 Together, they established a new nation, 9 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,365 one where power resided not with a monarch, 10 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,825 but with ordinary citizens. 11 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:38,330 "We hold these truths to be self-evident," they wrote. 12 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,458 "That all men are created equal." 13 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,836 It was a radical idea, revolutionary even. 14 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,298 But what truly makes America unique 15 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:51,802 is the fact that we've always been a work in progress. 16 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,470 -We're not perfect. -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪ 17 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:58,892 We can be irascible, petty, selfish, cheap. 18 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,310 And let's face it, some of us 19 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,521 will always find something to complain about. 20 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,315 But as Americans, we have always found a way 21 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,442 -to overcome these naysayers... -♪ (STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 22 00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,361 ...these deeply unpleasant people 23 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,321 who stood in the way of progress. 24 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,949 These miserable, intolerable... 25 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,701 Did I mention petty? 26 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:16,702 Wretched-- 27 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,078 Hey, none of that's in the script! 28 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,455 ♪ ("THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪ 29 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,395 SAMUEL L. JACKSON: By the winter of 1775, 30 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,606 the Continental Congress realized 31 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:49,693 that independence from Britain was the only course of action. 32 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,110 A committee of five 33 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,697 was charged with drafting an announcement explaining 34 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,199 the reasons for the rejection of the monarchy, 35 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:59,161 a declaration of independence. 36 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,371 They were John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, 37 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,748 Benjamin Franklin, 38 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,792 Roger Sherman, and Robert Livingston. 39 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,586 It's common knowledge 40 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,713 -that Thomas Jefferson wrote the first draft. -(QUILL SCRAWLING) 41 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:12,507 JACKSON: But actually, it was Robert Livingston 42 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,052 who took the first crack at it. 43 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:19,264 (CHUCKLES) And some say that's exactly what he was on 44 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,974 -when he wrote it. -(GAVEL POUNDING) 45 00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,810 Gentlemen of the Continental Congress, 46 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,146 we finally have a first draft 47 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:28,065 of the Declaration of Independence, 48 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,525 written by our esteemed colleague, 49 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,569 Robert Livingston. 50 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,154 -ATTENDEE: Here, here! -(THUMPING, APPLAUDING) 51 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,322 Well done. 52 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,240 Well done. 53 00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:40,160 Really didn't take me that long. Only used two quills. 54 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:41,953 Two quills. 55 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,579 JOHN HANCOCK: We are in gratitude. 56 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:44,623 Stop it. 57 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,626 But we agreed that we would only have 58 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,295 -27 grievances. -(ATTENDEES GRUMBLING) 59 00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,964 Then all of a sudden you added all of these other grievances. 60 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,968 Agreed. There are several, and they are beyond perplexing. 61 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:01,682 Mr. Jefferson, I don't think that we want to limit Rembrandt 62 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,434 on how many colors he can use when he paints, do we? 63 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,852 (ATTENDEES CHUCKLING) 64 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,438 But we just have a few questions 65 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,774 about some of the things that you wrote. 66 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,985 Like, "If someone invites you to a dinner party, 67 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,946 you are legally within your rights 68 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,739 as an American citizen 69 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,742 to ask who is coming to that dinner party 70 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,120 before you accept." 71 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,454 Don't you want to know 72 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,833 who you're going to be spending your evening sitting next to? 73 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,794 I got invited to a dinner at Madison's a few weeks ago. 74 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,005 Alexander Hamilton was at the same table. 75 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,091 Did I get a chance to talk to Hamilton? 76 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,511 No, because I was seated next to Madison's uncle, 77 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,098 -a tobacco farmer from Virginia. -(ATTENDEES GROANING) 78 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:45,142 ROBERT LIVINGSTON: What a waste of time that was, 79 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,310 plus the two hours getting there in the coach. 80 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,395 Why leave the house? 81 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,147 Takes two hours to get everywhere. 82 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,149 I wish I could put that in the document. 83 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,192 HANCOCK: Robert, you want to put 84 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,153 into this Declaration of Independence, 85 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,113 "It is illegal 86 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,615 -to share an umbrella." -(ATTENDEES GROANING, MURMURING) 87 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,951 If it's raining, bring your own umbrella. 88 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,162 Don't infringe on someone else's. 89 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,832 What if the umbrella holder offers to share the umbrella? 90 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,501 Well, if he does, he's only doing it to be nice. 91 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,879 He doesn't want to share it. It's not right. 92 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:18,216 You forgot your umbrella? Too bad. Too bad. 93 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:22,429 Get wet. Live with it. Don't get somebody else wet 94 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,390 'cause you're too stupid to bring your own. 95 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,893 -(ATTENDEES GROANING, MURMURING) -Sir, "After January 7th, 96 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,812 it is illegal to wish anyone a Happy New Year"? 97 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,689 -(ATTENDEES GROANING) -Precisely, Adams. 98 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,191 Even if it is the first time 99 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,568 you're encountering the person in the New Year? 100 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,529 That's right, Franklin. Even if it's the first time. 101 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,864 These "Happy New Years," 102 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,700 they go on endlessly and endlessly. 103 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:48,163 January 20th, "Happy New Year." January 25th, "Happy New Year." 104 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,041 January 31st, "Ha--" When... When does it end? 105 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,209 Why is this in here? 106 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,878 "It is illegal to take deep breaths outside." 107 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,880 -(ATTENDEES GROANING) -Well, it should be. 108 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,465 You want to see people walking around going... 109 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:02,093 (SNIFFING) "Ah! Oh! Mm. Uh, what a beautiful day." 110 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,429 (SNIFFING) "Mm. Uh! Oh!" 111 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,224 Here's another gem. "No sharing desserts. 112 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:11,061 If you want a dessert, order it. None of this, 'Pass it around.'" 113 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,272 We're not animals, Mr. Franklin, all eating out of a trough. 114 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,982 We could all have our own forks. 115 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,735 Then we'll all take bites, put the forks in our mouths, 116 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,613 put it back in the pie after it's been in our mouths. 117 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,615 Mr. Franklin, it's unsanitary. 118 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,284 Sometimes I don't want a whole slice of pie. 119 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,786 I just want a taste of pie. 120 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,331 Get your own damn piece of pie, Franklin! 121 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,124 -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) -"If you pick a line... 122 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,418 you have to stay in it"? 123 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,254 Of course you have to stay in it. 124 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,589 Otherwise, it's just... It's chaos. 125 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,758 "Oh, that line's moving faster. I'll go over here. 126 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,844 Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh. I don't want to go here." 127 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,762 And now, all of a sudden, you're bumping into people, 128 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:46,888 and fights break out, 129 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,015 all because people want to get on the line 130 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,100 that's moving faster? 131 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,228 No. You pick your line, you stay in your line. 132 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,646 -That's how it works. -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) 133 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:55,730 I disagree with that, 134 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,357 and I don't think it should be in this document. 135 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,775 Oh, yeah, you don't like that, Hancock? 136 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,485 I guess because you don't have to wait in line. 137 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:01,903 You have your servants doing that for you. 138 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,488 I have servants. Do I treat them fairly? 139 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,656 I like to think so. 140 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,284 Do I spare the lash? Not always. 141 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,244 It's fun. It's fun, the lashing. 142 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,371 You smack 'em, you smack 'em, you smack 'em, 143 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,456 you hear a little whimper, and then you stop. 144 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,835 "Men shall refrain from fanning themselves in public"? 145 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,462 Does anybody really want to see this? 146 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,632 This is something you want to see men do? 147 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,678 This? This motion? Mr. Adams, I submit to you, 148 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,431 -do you want your son fanning? -Eh. 149 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,682 As I thought. 150 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:34,603 He doesn't want his son fanning. I don't want my son fanning. 151 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:38,398 I don't think any of you people want your sons fanning. 152 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:41,484 Who's with me? Yea or nay? 153 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,820 ATTENDEES: Nay! 154 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,156 Here's another that should not go in. 155 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,742 "It's illegal to tell someone about your dream. 156 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:52,412 No matter how interesting it may seem to the dreamer, 157 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:56,374 the others have no interest in hearing about it." 158 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,335 -(ATTENDEES MURMURING) -Gentlemen, we have a lifespan 159 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,671 of 38 years on this earth! 160 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,632 And we're going to waste it 161 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,217 listening to other people's dreams? 162 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,427 I don't think so. 163 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,555 I am 70 years on this earth, you fop. 164 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:13,016 Seventy? Apparently engaging in cunnilingus 165 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,226 with French women keeps one young. 166 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,978 You, sir, have discovered 167 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,605 -the fountain of youth. -(ATTENDEES LAUGHING) 168 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,440 LIVINGSTON: My congratulations to you. 169 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,401 "There should be a national ban on toasting"? 170 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,903 "No gratuities"? 171 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,697 "If you begin a new health routine, 172 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,367 keep it to yourself"? 173 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,993 "If you visit England, 174 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,372 don't suddenly return with an English accent." 175 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,874 "It is illegal to stroke one's beard"? 176 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,417 That should be in the document. 177 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,878 Here's a truth I hold to be self-evident. 178 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,006 -You, sir, are an imbecile. -(ATTENDEES LAUGHING) 179 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,717 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what are we doing? 180 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,554 These are barely grievances. They are petty complaints, 181 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,056 and they have nothing to do 182 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,266 with a declaration of independence 183 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,060 from England and tyranny. 184 00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,897 -ATTENDEES: Here, here! -(THUMPING, APPLAUDING) 185 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:05,276 This is not just a declaration of independence. 186 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:10,407 This is a declaration of common sense. 187 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:15,412 In 250 years, our descendants will thank us 188 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,747 for the great work that we've done here, 189 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,418 making their lives immeasurably better. 190 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,378 Gentlemen, are you with me? 191 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,131 -Yea or nay? -ATTENDEES: Nay! 192 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,217 -A thousand times nay. -Hmm. 193 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,429 Mr. Livingston, thank you so much 194 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,431 for all of your hard work, 195 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,225 but I don't think that any of this 196 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:40,186 is going into our declaration. 197 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,188 -Jefferson, want to take a shot? -Yeah, I'll do it. 198 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,858 (CHUCKLES) I won't be using any of this, 199 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,610 especially, "No clapping along to the music 200 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,446 and expecting others to join in." 201 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,281 (ATTENDEES LAUGHING) 202 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,784 -Marshals, escort him out. -That won't be necessary. 203 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,454 Because I don't want to live in a country 204 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,914 where people share umbrellas... 205 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,667 -♪ (STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -...take deep breaths outside, 206 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:05,628 change lines willy-nilly, 207 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,799 fan themselves, stroke their beards, 208 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,761 share dreams and desserts. 209 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,847 Happy New Year, assholes! 210 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,350 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 211 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,486 -♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -JACKSON: On March 7th, 1876, 212 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,697 Alexander Graham Bell successfully received a patent 213 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:36,201 -for a device he called the telephone. -(GEARS WHIRRING) 214 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,244 JACKSON: Days later, in front of the public, 215 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,872 he made the first ever telephone call 216 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,540 -to his assistant, Thomas Watson. -(TELEPHONE RINGING) 217 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:44,584 JACKSON: The first phone call 218 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:48,004 was a glorious day for American innovation. 219 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,048 Alas, not so much for Bell. 220 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,966 ♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 221 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,760 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 222 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,016 -(CHATTER STOPS) -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 223 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,143 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. 224 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,728 On behalf of my wife, Mabel, 225 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,730 I would like to welcome you to our home. 226 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,398 Thank you for coming. 227 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:12,320 What you are about to witness has never been seen before 228 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,364 -in human history. -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 229 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,698 I give you... 230 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:17,700 the telephone. 231 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,370 -(SPECTATORS GASPING) -♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ 232 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,039 My assistant Watson is in another building, 233 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,916 out of sight and sound. 234 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,043 But with this device, 235 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,880 I will be able to communicate with him... 236 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,801 as if he was standing right next to me. 237 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,553 (SPECTATORS GASPING) 238 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,429 I will pick up the phone on my side, 239 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:42,475 -and it will ring on his. -What kind of ring? 240 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,062 Normal ring. It's just a ring. It's a ring. 241 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,273 It's a typical ring. 242 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,567 Maybe there could be a menu of rings 243 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:51,943 that people could choose from. 244 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,279 Oh, yes. I would like mine to sound like a doorbell. 245 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,406 I'd like mine to sound like a clown horn. 246 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,408 MABEL GARDINER HUBBARD: Or perhaps a bicycle ring, you know? 247 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,493 -(IMITATES BICYCLE BELL) -Oh! All... All wonderful ideas, 248 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,954 but hardly the point. 249 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,583 The point is, I'll be able to communicate with someone 250 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:07,917 who is miles away. 251 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,919 What if I'm at a piano recital, say, 252 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,547 and I don't want it to ring, so it just vibrates 253 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,924 like a... like a Jew's harp in your pocket? 254 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:15,925 (SPECTATORS GASPING) 255 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,971 Ah! Oh, that's just a fascinating idea. 256 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,598 Oh, what if you could send short little mess-- 257 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,393 What if you invent your own? Go off and invent your own. 258 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,936 That's not this. 259 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,689 You want something that vibrates? Go! 260 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,692 Go invent it! This is all nonsense! 261 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,153 Does anybody else have anything else they'd like to add? 262 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,362 Are colors available? 263 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,782 -Or could it play like a song? -(SPECTATORS MURMURING) 264 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,034 Are you done? 265 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:44,120 Would you like to see a demonstration? 266 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,246 -Yes, yes. -SPECTATOR 1: Please. 267 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,123 We don't know why it's taking so long. 268 00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,542 Would you please get out? 269 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:50,627 -Me? -ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL: You. 270 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,628 -Yes, you. -Oh! Oh, okay. 271 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,921 -Thank you. Lovely party. -You. You! 272 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,297 -Get out! -Thank you. Thank you so much. 273 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,548 -BELL: Get out! -SPECTATOR 2: Thanks. 274 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,300 Who the hell is she? 275 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,969 -MABEL: I have no idea-- -What is she doing here? 276 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,805 I hate her! I don't even feel like doing it now. 277 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,098 -(SPECTATORS GROANING) -Oh, please! 278 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,934 I don't even want to do it. 279 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,185 Yes, you do want to do it. 280 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:10,647 You worked on it night and day for months and months. 281 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,482 Sorry, I just thought of one more thing 282 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,442 -that would be so fun-- -Shut up! 283 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,402 -Do you want to see this or not? -MABEL: Yes, very much. 284 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,821 -(SPECTATORS MURMURING) -Really? 'Cause it doesn't seem like you do. 285 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,032 -MABEL: Everybody-- -It doesn't seem like you do. 286 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,325 It seems like you just want 287 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,535 -to hear yourselves talk. -(SPECTATORS MURMURING) 288 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,829 Is that what you want? Is that what you came here for? 289 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:27,997 (SPECTATORS MURMURING) 290 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,166 -God damn it! -MABEL: Darling. 291 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,668 BELL: (SOFTLY) Fucking assholes! 292 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,379 (SIGHS) 293 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,758 -(SWITCH CLICKS) -(ELECTRICITY HUMMING) 294 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:45,473 -Mr. Watson, can you hear me? -♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 295 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:48,434 -Indeed I can, Alexander. -♪ (MUSIC TURNS JUBILANT) ♪ 296 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:52,605 -(LAUGHS) He can hear me! -(SPECTATORS APPLAUDING) 297 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,358 BELL: He can hear me! Watson! 298 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,610 This is a step forward 299 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,905 in science and communication. 300 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:05,118 I could not have done it without your able assistance. 301 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:09,205 -It is a time for celebration. -BELL: (OVER TELEPHONE) Indeed. 302 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,543 -So, um... -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 303 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,837 (HESITATES) What are... What are you doing? 304 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,882 -Not a lot. -BELL: Uh-huh. 305 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,592 THOMAS WATSON: Um... 306 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,344 I'm sitting on a chair. 307 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,930 Yeah, yeah. (CHUCKLES) 308 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,516 Yeah, me too. Me too. I'm on a chair. 309 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,685 -Uh, well... -(SPECTATOR CLEARS THROAT) 310 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,147 Okay. Okay. 311 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,982 Alexander, do you remember 312 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,109 when we went to that science convention? 313 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:40,111 -Where was that? -Cleveland. 314 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,529 WATSON: We were at that hotel. 315 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,614 Do you remember all of the hedges, 316 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,992 the topiary work that was done? 317 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,745 That landscaper was amazing. 318 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,580 -Yes, it was-- -WATSON: There were elephants 319 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,081 and seals, 320 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,499 -and there was the giraffe... -Yeah. 321 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:57,378 ...and I think they used a tree for the giraffe's neck, 322 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,838 which I don't think it's fair. 323 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,008 I think when you are doing topiary work, 324 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,509 you should be a purist. 325 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,596 -You only use the hedges. -Yeah, okay, all right-- 326 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:07,722 And the gardens! 327 00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,557 -The gardens were beautiful. -(SPECTATOR COUGHS) 328 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,894 You picked some lilies, which I didn't think was right. 329 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,437 Yeah, all right. Okay. 330 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,522 -WATSON: But you don't pick flowers... -All right, we're good. 331 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,024 -...from someone else's garden. -We're good. 332 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,442 I gotta take off, but, uh-- 333 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,402 Oh, oh! You know what I've been meaning to tell you? 334 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,488 Yeah, all right. Watson, um, 335 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,365 I got some people here. I gotta get going. 336 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,700 -My cousin sent me a letter. -Oh, my God. 337 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,785 WATSON: He met some people 338 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,828 with the last name Grahamm, but two M's. 339 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,538 -(GROANS) -WATSON: I put the letter aside. 340 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,957 You don't spell it ever with two M's, do you? 341 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,293 -Watson, shut up! -No. Why would you-- 342 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,961 -BELL: Shut up, Watson. -That's a hat on a hat. 343 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,421 Okay, they got two M's. 344 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,215 -WATSON: Yeah, but see-- -Watson, I got people here. 345 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,258 -WATSON: You know, you only-- -I gotta get off the phone. 346 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,303 You only use two M's if you have to say "mm," 347 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,513 or "yummy." 348 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,848 Do you know any Grahams that spell with two M's? 349 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,308 No, I don't know any Grahams. 350 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,768 I don't know any Grahams with one M. 351 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,436 I don't know any Grahamms with two M's. 352 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,231 I don't know any Grahammms with three M's. 353 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,982 -(RECEIVER CLUNKS) -(METAL CLANGS) 354 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,026 -(SPECTATORS MURMURING FAINTLY) -(SIGHS) 355 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:07,115 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 356 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:10,076 I think we got cut off. Do you remember the ducks 357 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,203 and the little ducklings followed behind? 358 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,371 But that was adorable. 359 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,206 It just hit me when we were off-- 360 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,583 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 361 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,847 -♪ (MARTIAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -JACKSON: The First World War began in 1914 362 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,850 and pitted the Central Powers, Germany, Austria-Hungary, 363 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,977 Bulgaria, and the Ottoman Empire, 364 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,520 against the Allied powers, 365 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,731 France, Russia, Italy, Great Britain, Romania, 366 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,817 Canada, and Japan. 367 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,070 The United States joined the allies in 1917 368 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,823 -after Germany sank many American ships... -(SHIP HORN BLARING) 369 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:52,034 ...including the luxury cruise liner, The Lusitania, 370 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:55,329 which carried hundreds of American passengers. 371 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,790 -(SOLDIERS YELLING) -JACKSON: Nothing encapsulates the horrors of this war 372 00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:59,500 more than trench warfare, 373 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,587 -with its unprecedented levels of destruction and carnage. -(ARTILLERY FIRING) 374 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,547 JACKSON: By the end of the war, 375 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,675 more than 16 million people were dead. 376 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,720 So many soldiers bravely fought 377 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,680 and died for their country. 378 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,557 Of course, there were exceptions. 379 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,059 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 380 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,646 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 381 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,740 (SIGHS) I don't think I can do this. 382 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,825 I've lost so many friends already. 383 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,452 The good news is now you don't have to worry 384 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,995 -about keeping in touch. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ 385 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:40,165 Hey, if I don't make it back, I need you to do me a big favor. 386 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,335 Can you... Can you deliver this letter 387 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,753 to my girl, Greta? 388 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,421 -Me? -PRIVATE WALLACE: I have a few more lines 389 00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,589 -I need to get down. -(SCOFFS) 390 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,673 Listen, I'm very flattered. 391 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,926 That's very nice of you to think of me in that light, 392 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,638 but, uh, you got the wrong guy. I'm a-- I'm very irresponsible. 393 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,473 I... I lose stuff all the time. 394 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,850 One day, I was looking around for my glasses, 395 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,352 and they were on my head the whole day. 396 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,270 -I was looking for hours and hours. -SOLDIER 1: Incoming! 397 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,396 -(EXPLOSION) -Ah! 398 00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:06,275 WALLACE: It has to be you. Please. 399 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:07,443 PRIVATE DAVID: I can mail it, right? 400 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,112 No, I need you to deliver this in person. 401 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,031 -Where does she live? -Albuquerque. 402 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,116 Albuquerque? Are you kidding? 403 00:17:14,157 --> 00:17:15,826 WALLACE: Thanks, David. I'm gonna go finish this up. 404 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,744 Hey! Albuquerque? 405 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,205 I-- Why don't you get Wojokowski? 406 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,999 He lives in Santa Fe. 407 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,335 -Wojo! Anybody seen Wojo? -SOLDIER 2: No, sorry. 408 00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:25,795 -You seen Wojo? -No, no. 409 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,673 I was just saying I can't wait to get back home to my Daisy. 410 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,510 -(DAVID SIGHS) -PRIVATE SMITH: That's what's waiting for me. 411 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,805 -Ah. -What does that noise mean? 412 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,765 Yeah. Yeah. (MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) 413 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,517 -She's all right. -Do you not think she's pretty? 414 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,143 No. Yeah, she's all right. Yeah. 415 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,311 She's "all right"? 416 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,604 -Yeah, if you like her. -SMITH: Yeah. 417 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,147 -You like her? -Yeah, yeah. 418 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,941 -There you go. Okay. -Okay. 419 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,150 But you don't think she's pretty? 420 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,236 I would take her to the movies if she paid. 421 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,322 If she didn't pay... Mm, not so sure. 422 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:55,324 I don't know. Hey, she's not my type. 423 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,784 -Right. -We all have types. 424 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:57,827 -Okay. -She's your type. 425 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:58,995 Yeah, what's your type? 426 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,415 (MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) Yeah. Yeah. 427 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,417 More noises. Why are-- Why? 428 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,752 Sometimes noises can be very expressive. 429 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,170 How hard is it to just say yes? 430 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,506 I say, "Is she pretty?" You say, "Yes," and we move on. 431 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,175 Yeah, yeah. You know, you startled me into honesty. 432 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,345 If you had come up to me ten minutes ago and said, 433 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,680 "Hey, in ten minutes, I'm gonna show you 434 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:18,848 a picture of my girlfriend," 435 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,224 I could have come up with a lie 436 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,351 that would have made you very happy. 437 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:25,646 -So, it's my fault? -Mm... eh. 438 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,149 -What does the noise mean? -Most likely. 439 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,859 -(SERGEANT BLOWS WHISTLE) -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 440 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:33,696 -All right, men. It's time. -SOLDIER 3: It-- It's Sarge. 441 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:38,159 I need you to say your prayers and prepare to charge. 442 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,954 On my command, you will go over the top 443 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,372 into no man's land. 444 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,875 You will sprint through a hail of bullets, 445 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,877 and you will get to Fritz 446 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,546 and you will go doolally on those bastards. 447 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:53,049 Oh, we're gonna doolally. I'm a doolally-er. 448 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,926 -I'm a doolally-er. -SERGEANT: Can I get a doolally? 449 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,553 -A doolally. -SOLDIERS: Doolally! 450 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,221 Are you ready to go lick the Kaiser? 451 00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:03,392 Oh. (ULULATING) Lick a, lick a, lick a, lick a! Ooh, lick 'em. 452 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,685 Lick the Kaiser. 453 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,145 -Charge. -DAVID: Charge. 454 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,939 -(SOLDIERS YELLING) -SERGEANT: Up and over. Over the top. Come on, men. 455 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,901 -Let's go. -After you. Go ahead. After you. 456 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,694 Come on, David. Get up there. 457 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,739 -Come on. Keep going. -Mommy! 458 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:22,578 -(EXPLOSIONS) -(SOLDIERS CLAMORING) 459 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,913 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 460 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:28,084 -(RAPID MACHINE GUN FIRE) -(SOLDIERS YELLING) 461 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,796 -(WHIMPERS) -(SOLDIERS YELLING) 462 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,883 -(WHIMPERS) -(SOLDIER SCREAMS) 463 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,761 -(WHIMPERS) -SERGEANT: Private David, 464 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:41,597 -move your ass! -(SCREAMS) 465 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:45,309 -Come on, men! Let's go! -(GROANS) 466 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:49,271 -SERGEANT: Keep moving! -(SOLDIERS YELLING) 467 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,982 (EXPLOSION) 468 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:54,110 (SOLDIERS SCREAMING) 469 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:58,614 -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ -(SOLDIER GROANS) 470 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:02,201 Private Wallace, stop playing with yourself 471 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,453 -and move out. -WALLACE: Yes, sir. 472 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,746 SMITH: Uh, just a sec, Sarge. 473 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:07,873 All right. 474 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,752 (FLY BUZZING) 475 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:18,342 (SOLDIER GROANING) 476 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,387 (GRUNTS) 477 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:26,517 (GASPS, LAUGHS) I'm alive! 478 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,310 (GASPS) 479 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,770 -Oh, my God! -Uh-huh. 480 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:33,691 -I'm alive! Oh, thank you, God! -SMITH: What happened? 481 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,776 -What happened? -What? I got shot! 482 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,027 -SMITH: Uh-huh. -I got shot! 483 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,321 Where? I don't see a... a bullet hole anywhere. 484 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,115 Huh? Oh. 485 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:43,993 -SMITH: Uh-huh. -Wow. 486 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,411 The bullet must have gone right through me. 487 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,163 -Uh-huh. -It's a miracle. 488 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,874 -I'll get the medic. -The medic? No, no, no, no. 489 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,668 Don't bother the medic. He's got limbs to saw off. 490 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,003 He's got a lot of work to do. 491 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,880 -No medics whatsoever. -Uh-huh. 492 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,673 You seem totally fine. 493 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,633 DAVID: You know what must have happened? 494 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,636 I think a bullet whizzed by my head. 495 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,055 -Uh-huh. Yeah. -(MIMICS BULLETS WHIZZING) 496 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,016 -And I lost consciousness. -Wow. 497 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,518 You seem really very, very healthy, put together. 498 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,396 I was dead. I believed I was dead. 499 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,190 -But no bullet, but dead. -DAVID: No. 500 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,025 You know, I thought it was the afterlife. 501 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,193 You're still kind of trapped 502 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,444 in your own head in the afterlife. 503 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,697 You're still yourself, a person you don't really like that much. 504 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,616 So, the afterlife is no bonus. 505 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,242 -There is an afterlife... -SMITH: Uh-huh. 506 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:27,161 ...but not the bonus that you would want. 507 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,913 Can I propose a different theory? 508 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,039 Sure. 509 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,749 I think you pretended to get shot 510 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,209 and then laid down there 511 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,044 while the rest of us were getting shot at. 512 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,379 That is without a doubt 513 00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:40,674 the most insulting, disgusting thing 514 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,051 anyone has ever said to me 515 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,260 -in my life. -Uh-huh. 516 00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:47,890 How dare you? How dare you? Oh, okay. I think I get it. 517 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,476 This is about what I said about Daisy, right? 518 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,813 Yeah, for sure. I've really been thinking about it. 519 00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:56,816 And I've been reevaluating the entire situation. 520 00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,735 And my assessment was so off. 521 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,487 I don't even know what I was talking about. 522 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,863 She's a beauty. 523 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,573 Do you realize how lucky you are? 524 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,742 Not only would I take her to the movies and pay for her, 525 00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:08,327 I would take her to dinner and pay for her. 526 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,745 I would buy champagne, 527 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,247 and I would walk her to her door. 528 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,332 And if she invited me in, oh, well, you better believe... 529 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,459 -No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. -...I would go running in. 530 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,461 -Too far. It's too far. That is too far. -I would go-- 531 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,756 Is there a way to make a copy of a picture like that? 532 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:22,716 No. So, you didn't pretend to get shot 533 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,301 and then lay on the ground like a little baby? 534 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:26,679 Fuck, no. Fuck that! Come on, man. 535 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:27,930 -I'll charge anytime. -SMITH: Really? 536 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:29,098 -I love war. -SMITH: You love it? 537 00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,100 This... This to me, this is living. 538 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,393 -Uh-huh. -DAVID: This is living. 539 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:33,686 -SMITH: Right. -I feel alive. 540 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:34,937 You know what? This is perfect. 541 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,480 You should volunteer to lead the next charge. 542 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,357 No, I'm... I'm... I'm a charger, not a leader. 543 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,859 -Hey, Sarge. -Hey, what the fuck? 544 00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,277 SMITH: David wants to lead the charge. 545 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,778 DAVID: I never s-- No, I'm not a leader. 546 00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,280 -That's outstanding. -DAVID: I'm a charger. 547 00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,407 -I'm not a leader. -SERGEANT: I didn't think you had the balls. 548 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,284 -I'm not-- I don't. I don't. -It appears that you do. 549 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,035 No, no, but I don't. He's... He's just saying that. 550 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,787 -Come on. Show us your balls. -DAVID: I... I don't-- 551 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,247 -Come on. -DAVID: I-- What? 552 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,874 -Are you crazy? -SERGEANT: Come on. Come on now. 553 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,458 I can't lead a charge. 554 00:22:56,542 --> 00:23:00,212 First of all, I have a limp and very undependable bowels. 555 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,924 SOLDIER: (GRUNTS) Easy. 556 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:07,636 Private David, seems I underestimated you. 557 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:09,346 Here you are. You're gonna lead us into battle. 558 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,056 -What? Me? -That's right. 559 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:13,267 I... I can't carry the flag. I'm too full from breakfast. 560 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:14,393 -Nonsense. -DAVID: What? 561 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,186 You're the standard bearer for the regiment. 562 00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:17,730 -Carry the flag? -That's right. 563 00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:20,024 It's like carrying a banner that says, "Shoot me." 564 00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,191 -It's an honor. -What? It's an-- 565 00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:22,318 I... I don't need any honors. 566 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,153 -I'm a very modest person. -Take the flag. 567 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,654 (MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) No, you take it. 568 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,197 -SERGEANT: You take it. You! -DAVID: No, no. 569 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,158 -WALLACE: Sarge wants me to take a look. -SMITH: All right. 570 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:31,660 Jesus! Half a hard-on, bastard! You're gonna take this flag, 571 00:23:31,702 --> 00:23:34,288 or I'm gonna stuff this pole up your ass. 572 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:35,414 -Okay. -(GUNSHOT CRACKS) 573 00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:36,624 -(BULLET THUDS) -(GRUNTS) 574 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:38,500 SMITH: They shot Wallace. 575 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:42,546 -(GROANS) -♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 576 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:48,761 (GROANS) 577 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:53,641 (WHIMPERS) 578 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:57,978 (GROANS) 579 00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,397 (GROANS LOUDLY) 580 00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,530 (IN STRAINED VOICE) In person. 581 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:09,698 (WHEEZING) 582 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,867 (SIGHS) 583 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:15,162 ♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 584 00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,713 -JACKSON: On December 1st 1955... -♪ (SLOW BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 585 00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:28,717 ...Rosa Parks was coming home by bus in Montgomery, Alabama, 586 00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:31,303 when she refused to give up her seat to a White man 587 00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:34,890 in violation of the city's "Negroes in back" policy, 588 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:38,352 where the front of the bus was reserved for Whites only. 589 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:40,938 But Rosa would not move. 590 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,481 -She was arrested... -(CELL DOOR CLANKS SHUT) 591 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,400 ...and her actions inspired the Black community 592 00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:47,194 to organize the Montgomery Bus Boycott, 593 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:49,905 -led by a young Martin Luther King, Jr. -♪ (INDISTINCT SINGING) ♪ 594 00:24:49,947 --> 00:24:51,782 JACKSON: It lasted more than a year 595 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:53,617 until the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 596 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:56,829 that bus segregation was unconstitutional. 597 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,831 -(GAVEL POUNDING) -JACKSON: What Rosa Parks did on that bus 598 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:02,501 made her a nationally recognized symbol of dignity and strength 599 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:05,129 in the struggle to end racial segregation. 600 00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,589 But it's a little-known fact 601 00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,508 that she had tried this once before. 602 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:13,262 ♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 603 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,852 (COINS CLINKING) 604 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:20,978 (CLEARS THROAT) 605 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,190 (PASSENGER SIGHS) 606 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,276 (COINS CLINKING) 607 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,736 (SIGHS) 608 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,742 Excuse me? 609 00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:42,166 Driver. 610 00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:45,544 -Get on to the back. -No. 611 00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,630 I said to get on to the back of the bus. 612 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:50,966 And I said, "No." 613 00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:52,676 Well, I'm gonna have to have you arrested. 614 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,845 -Well, go on and do so. -All right, then. 615 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:57,139 Seriously, we're not doing this, okay? 616 00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:58,307 I'm very comfortable here. 617 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,392 If she gets up, that means I have to get up. 618 00:26:00,476 --> 00:26:03,145 And then he's gonna slide in. He may even want the aisle seat. 619 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,689 Maybe I'll get in a fight with him. It's ridiculous. 620 00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:07,983 She's sitting here. Get in the back. Come on. 621 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,735 Move it out. You too. 622 00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,862 -You, go ahead. Drive. Come on. -(SCOFFS) 623 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,989 Yeah. (SCOFFS) ...you. Go ahead. 624 00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:16,366 -(MUNCHES LOUDLY) -(BUS DOORS CLOSING) 625 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:22,831 -That was very kind. -Needed to be said. 626 00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:23,916 Amen. 627 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:28,212 (MUNCHES LOUDLY) 628 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,381 -Where you heading? -The market. 629 00:26:31,465 --> 00:26:32,925 -The market? -Mm-hmm. 630 00:26:33,008 --> 00:26:35,177 Do a big shop. You got a big shop going, huh? 631 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,179 -Is it a big shop? -(CHUCKLES) No. 632 00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:38,514 What are you gonna get? 633 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:42,142 -Vegetables, some peaches. -Oh! What's your name? 634 00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,353 -Rosa. -I'm Murray. 635 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:46,313 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, Rosa. 636 00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,190 You know, I had an Aunt Rosa. 637 00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:49,858 -Mm. -Lovely woman. 638 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,611 And I must say, she was quite voluptuous. 639 00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:55,239 She had a bawdy sense of humor. 640 00:26:55,322 --> 00:26:56,782 You could see how that could spark 641 00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:00,369 the imagination of a 12-year-old boy. (CHUCKLES) 642 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,162 About your own aunt? 643 00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:05,916 -Yeah. -Did she marry into the family? 644 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,793 Oh, no. My mother's sister. 645 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:09,586 Huh. 646 00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,214 MURRAY: Would you do me a favor? 647 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:13,632 I just want to take this sweater off. 648 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:14,925 Could you pull that sleeve? 649 00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:18,887 -(GRUNTS) -(GRUNTS) Sir, it's... 650 00:27:18,929 --> 00:27:20,305 -Oh, you-- -You're sweating a little bit. 651 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,224 -Thank you. Oh, that's better. -All right. There you go. 652 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:24,685 -(SIGHS) -Thank you. 653 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,061 Let me ask you this question. 654 00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:27,646 -You're in somebody's house... -(SIGHS) 655 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,606 ...and your back is really itching. 656 00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:30,816 If you saw a back scratcher, 657 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:31,984 would you use the back scratcher, 658 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:34,486 or would you rub it against a corner and try and, 659 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,072 you know, get it... get it yourself? 660 00:27:38,115 --> 00:27:40,576 -No, I... I wouldn't use it. -Oh, yeah. 661 00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:42,452 That's like using someone's toothbrush. 662 00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:45,080 I disagree, Rosa. The back is not a mouth. 663 00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,624 -(SIGHS) -MURRAY: How about this? 664 00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:48,959 If there wasn't a back scratcher, 665 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,503 you know what I would do? I'd go into the kitchen, 666 00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:52,588 -I'd get a fork... -Uh-oh. 667 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,506 -...I'd go into the bathroom... -No. 668 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:56,383 -...scratch the back... -(SIGHS) 669 00:27:56,466 --> 00:27:58,051 -Jesus. -...wash the fork, return it, 670 00:27:58,135 --> 00:28:00,137 and, oh, boy, Rosa, 671 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:02,097 there's no greater feeling in the world 672 00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,391 than scratching your back with a fork. 673 00:28:04,433 --> 00:28:07,603 -There you go. Problem solved. -You have anything to read? 674 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:08,937 -(PASSENGERS CHUCKLING) -MURRAY: No. 675 00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:11,106 I guess I should bring stuff to read on the bus, right? 676 00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:13,275 Instead of just sitting here looking around like an idiot. 677 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,444 -I like to read. -Do you live alone? 678 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:18,447 -You know, Rosa, I do. -Oh. 679 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:20,115 I have a lot of plants. 680 00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:23,619 Most of them are dead because I ignore them. 681 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:26,038 And I have a parakeet who says my name. 682 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,332 (IMITATES PARAKEET) "Murray! Murray! 683 00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:32,127 Murray! Murray! 684 00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:34,504 Murray! Murray! 685 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:36,506 How's Murray?" 686 00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:38,008 You like the sound of your own voice? 687 00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:40,677 -Very much so. -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 688 00:28:40,761 --> 00:28:42,846 Hey, Rosa, who's Paul Bunyan? 689 00:28:42,930 --> 00:28:45,057 Do we like him or not? I know he was a big guy. 690 00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:47,267 People tell me you can't eat all parts of a lobster, 691 00:28:47,351 --> 00:28:49,353 but I don't find that to be true. 692 00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:50,687 What? 693 00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:53,398 You never see a pie cooling on a windowsill 694 00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:56,109 like you do in the movies. And believe me... (CHUCKLES). 695 00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:57,736 ...I've looked in a lot of windows. 696 00:28:57,819 --> 00:29:00,614 Why are you looking through windows? For a pie? 697 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,449 Did you see Dragnet last night? 698 00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,868 I knew who did it from the first minute. 699 00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:07,871 ♪ (IMITATES "DRAGNET" THEME) ♪ 700 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,502 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 701 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:16,380 -Might I ask you a question? -(QUIETLY) Oh, Jesus. 702 00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:19,758 If you got robbed, would you prefer 703 00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:22,636 that it was a Black man or a White man who robbed you? 704 00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:25,722 Good question, right? 705 00:29:25,806 --> 00:29:27,683 Very interesting. Think about it. 706 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:29,393 The sociological aspects of that. 707 00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:32,020 Why would I want to think about being robbed? 708 00:29:32,062 --> 00:29:33,397 I know, but if you had to. Interesting-- 709 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,940 Why do you think about these things? 710 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,234 -(HESITATES) It just... It just occurred to me. -Are you a praying man? 711 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,027 I think it's a waste of time, really. 712 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:40,696 We should pray for your thoughts. 713 00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:42,322 -Pray for my thoughts? -Yes. 714 00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:45,742 It might bring you some peace and quiet. 715 00:29:45,826 --> 00:29:47,703 -Do you sense I need peace? -I do. 716 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:50,664 -What gives you that impression? -Just about everything. 717 00:29:50,747 --> 00:29:52,040 -Okay. -Come on, 718 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,875 -we gonna close our eyes? Come on now. -Close my eyes? 719 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:55,669 -Okay. My eyes are closed. Okay, yeah. -Close your eyes. 720 00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:59,214 (SIGHS) Oh, Father God, we pray for Mr. Murray today, Lord. 721 00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:01,383 -Usher in your spirit. Cover him. -(MUNCHES LOUDLY) 722 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:04,136 -Bring him peace of mind, God. -Yeah. 723 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:05,721 -Silence his thoughts. -(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) 724 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:09,141 And now, Murray, would you like to share anything with the Lord? 725 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:11,977 -Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah. -Yeah, you take over. 726 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:13,937 Yeah, you know, Lord, you must be aware 727 00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,481 that I really haven't had sex in about eight years, so... 728 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:18,692 -Oh, Jesus. -You know that. 729 00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:20,819 So maybe you could help me out a little bit, 730 00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:22,195 send somebody my way. 731 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,488 You know, I'm not that particular. 732 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,073 She could be a little overweight. 733 00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,450 Don't send me an elephant, of course, 734 00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:28,785 -but, you know, reasonably overweight is fine. -(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 735 00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:29,911 MURRAY: I don't care. 736 00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:31,913 Maybe even a redhead would be nice. 737 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:35,167 You know, I... I don't-- Yeah, redhead. 738 00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:37,002 Hey, Rosa. Hey, where are you going? 739 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:38,337 I'm going to the back of the bus, 740 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:39,546 but you keep praying, Murray. 741 00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:41,256 -Come on, y'all. Deal me in. -(PASSENGERS CHEERING) 742 00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:42,591 Anyway, like I was saying, 743 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:45,802 a redhead, that would be spectacular. 744 00:30:45,886 --> 00:30:48,305 Really. Not too many freckles, though. 745 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:51,725 ♪ ("THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪ 746 00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:04,256 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪