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Oww!
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00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,016
What?
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00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,653
Are you insane?
4
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,256
Stop. Stop it.
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00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,170
Elaine?
I've been attacked.
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That gang of lunatics were
shooting blueberries at me.
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00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,578
Elaine Denton reporting live
from Port Wenn,
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00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:50,049
inside the offices
of Doc Martin Victim.
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00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,285
Whatever that is,
we don't have time for it. Okay?
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We have a packed schedule,
and I need you
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to secure the perimeter.
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Unaware that his first patient
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was already in the exam room,
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Doc Martin was apparently
also unaware of the fact
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that this weekend is
the Annual Blueberry Festival.
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A tragic turn of events
for a tragic man
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named Doc Martin,
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who was a doctor.
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I just love
the Blueberry Festival.
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The street fair,
the tarts, the pies.
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Stop talking
and open your mouth.
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I'm gonna be getting in the vat
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and stomping blueberries
to make wine.
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Not with this foot fungus,
you're not.
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I'm deathly allergic
to blueberries,
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but I wanna eat,
like, a lot of pie.
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So can you give me a pill
that makes it okay?
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- Yes, of course.
- Really?
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No. That way.
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All right, Elaine, we only have
five minutes for lunch,
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so why don't you go out
and get...
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Where is everyone?
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Faced with an empty
waiting room,
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Doc Martin finally had room
to feel empty.
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Will you stop with that voice?
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00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,452
I have to get
this reporter thing right.
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I'm covering the Blueberry
Festival on my live stream.
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I want it to look professional.
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And dressing up
as Newscaster Smurf
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screams professional.
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We have eight patients
this afternoon
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and my aunt's supposed
to be next.
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- Where is she?
- Yeah, everybody cancelled.
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No one is going to the doctor
on a Friday afternoon
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during the Blueberry Festival.
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Actually, shouldn't you be
getting ready too?
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Ready for what?
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You're gonna be a judge in
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the big blueberry pie contest
tomorrow?
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00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,445
- Oh, no, I'm not.
- Okay, but you are.
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00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:27,880
'Cause Dr. Reese was
always a judge.
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Yeah, but I'm not Dr. Reese.
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I am here with
a local old, old man
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who is disoriented and confused.
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He thinks that he can ignore one
of our most beloved traditions.
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Beloved traditions? Please.
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You people would throw a parade
at a new stoplight.
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I'm not a pie judge.
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- I'm a physician.
- Where are you going?
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I'm going to see my next
scheduled patient.
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More on this developing story
as it develops,
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reporting alive from over here
by my desk.
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I am Elaine Denton
for Eyewitness Blues.
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That was it. That was it.
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00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:06,686
Okay. All the festival booths.
Yep.
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00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:10,923
They're going right there.
And... Oh, my eyes.
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00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,392
All right, now, doc.
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00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,661
All right now.
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00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,933
Hey, good morning.
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Got something for you.
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See at the pie contest,
Judge Martin.
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Okay, okay, and the dunk tank,
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it's going right over there.
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00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,818
Uh, hey, sorry.
Give me a second.
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00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,054
Damn! Ah!
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00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,790
Uh, this...
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00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:46,760
Oh!
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00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,530
Oh, will you stop following me?
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Just go away.
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00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,535
Put that down,
it's not mine. Shoo!
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00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,644
Well, good morning to you.
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00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,212
Uh, good morning.
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00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:10,050
Perfect weather for the
festival, wouldn't you say, hm?
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00:04:10,051 --> 00:04:12,352
You seem to be taking it
very seriously.
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00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,186
My favorite time of year.
86
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,923
But doesn't all that bother
your skin or your eyelids?
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00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:17,957
All that face paint.
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00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,359
- Face paint.
- Hm.
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00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,661
What face paint?
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00:05:02,688 --> 00:05:05,891
Well, Martin,
what a nice surprise.
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00:05:05,892 --> 00:05:07,993
And you're just in time
for lunch. Mwah!
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00:05:07,994 --> 00:05:09,561
Not here for lunch.
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00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,930
Oh, you're just dropping by?
Well, good.
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00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:14,699
I've just been thinking that we
should spend more time together.
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00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,534
And look, now, here you are.
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00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:18,236
I've come here to give you
your physical.
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00:05:18,237 --> 00:05:19,671
What?
98
00:05:19,672 --> 00:05:21,305
Your file says,
you haven't had a checkup
99
00:05:21,306 --> 00:05:22,641
in three years.
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00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:23,808
Why don't you hop up
on the counter
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00:05:23,809 --> 00:05:25,110
and we'll take a look at you?
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00:05:25,111 --> 00:05:26,544
Oh, you gotta be joking.
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00:05:26,545 --> 00:05:28,180
There's nothing funny
about a 73-year-old woman
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00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:30,582
avoiding her annual urinalysis.
Now, up you go.
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If you think I'm going to
let you examine me
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00:05:32,685 --> 00:05:34,319
in my own kitchen,
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00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,987
then I'm gonna have
to fillet you
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00:05:35,988 --> 00:05:37,488
with my boning knife.
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00:05:37,489 --> 00:05:39,057
Aunt Sarah, I need you
to take this seriously.
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00:05:39,058 --> 00:05:42,260
You may be my doctor,
but you're also my nephew,
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and right now,
we're having lunch.
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So wash your hands.
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Honestly.
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You know, they've asked me
to be a judge
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at the pie contest... with you.
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And I said yes, I thought
that that would be fun.
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I hear that Elizabeth Evans
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00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:07,018
is making some kind of
blueberry meringue
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00:06:07,019 --> 00:06:08,954
or something like that.
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00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:11,056
Are you really taking
all these medications?
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Well, two of them are
for my high blood pressure,
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and the rest are, I don't know--
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Osteoporosis,
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acid reflux, high cholesterol.
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Good God, woman,
you're a ticking timebomb.
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A-and this fried fish for lunch
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isn't helping
the situation either.
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Have you thought about
getting some exercise?
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Maybe some leafy greens
in your diet?
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Dr. Reese told me to avoid
the leafy greens
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because they might
interact badly
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with my blood thinner and
I might pass out or something.
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And kale tastes like crap.
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There's a new medication
on the market
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that won't have
those complications.
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I'll write you a prescription.
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In the meantime,
we're gonna have a chat about
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skipping medical appointments
at your advanced age.
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If you're gonna continue
to play doctor,
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I don't wanna eat lunch
with you, so get out.
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Just go.
See you at the pie contest.
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I'm not judging the pie contest.
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Fine, then, I won't see you
at all.
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Fried fish is delicious.
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00:07:19,158 --> 00:07:20,925
Oh, Judge Martin,
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what do you prefer,
flaky pie crust or puffy?
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You lost me a judge.
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00:07:25,264 --> 00:07:26,765
Judge Martin,
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00:07:26,766 --> 00:07:29,034
do you enjoy
a latticework topping?
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00:07:29,035 --> 00:07:31,536
I don't trust myself to do
a leaf pattern--
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I'm not judging the pie contest.
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00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:35,240
- Oh!
- Martin. Hello.
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Where are you headed?
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Well, I'm on my way
for some lunch,
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but it seems like
blueberry mania
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has swallowed
this town whole.
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Right.
Well, that time of year.
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00:07:41,947 --> 00:07:43,815
Which reminds me,
I've been wondering
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00:07:43,816 --> 00:07:45,950
um, if you happen
to like cinnamon.
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I'm scared to ask. But why are
we talking about spices?
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Or maybe vanilla or caramel.
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Little ribbons of caramel
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wrapping gently
around your tastebuds.
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Oh, no, Louisa, not you too.
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I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be
judging the pie contest.
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I guess I'm just another
desperate pie baker
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looking for an edge.
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- You've all lost your mind.
- Maybe.
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00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:03,268
But this is a big deal
in this small town.
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00:08:03,269 --> 00:08:04,502
I mean, it's-it's nice.
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It's tradition.
It's competitive.
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00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,505
Yeah, it's also high
in fat and sugar.
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00:08:07,506 --> 00:08:09,707
Yeah, but first place is
a little blue crown.
174
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:10,943
But Barry Hammers always wins.
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00:08:10,944 --> 00:08:12,710
Always. He always takes first.
Always.
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00:08:12,711 --> 00:08:15,413
Now the real competition in
Port Wenn is for a second.
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00:08:15,414 --> 00:08:17,782
Oh, wait. What about ginger?
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You know, I mean, that's an
interesting combination, right?
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With the blueberries.
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00:08:22,221 --> 00:08:24,522
Louisa, Louisa, Louisa,
I am not gonna be judging.
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00:08:24,523 --> 00:08:25,790
Judge Martin, do these
berries look fresh to you?
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Am I crazy if I add mint
to my pie?
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00:08:27,426 --> 00:08:29,193
No, no, no.
Listen up, everyone.
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I am the town doctor and
my only concern is your health.
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So you can skip
your appointments
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and ignore your well-being,
but I will not be deciding
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00:08:36,202 --> 00:08:40,438
the winner of your ridiculous
contest, because I don't care.
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Consider the ginger.
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00:08:51,384 --> 00:08:52,985
We'll talk about it later.
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00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:00,824
Delighted to have you in
for lunch, doctor.
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00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,425
It was either this
or be force fed
192
00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:03,860
blueberries in the parking lot.
193
00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:05,729
I wanna take the garden salad
194
00:09:05,730 --> 00:09:07,164
with chicken, please.
195
00:09:07,165 --> 00:09:08,298
Unfortunately, we don't have
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00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:09,532
the garden salad today.
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00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:11,068
- I am so sorry.
- All right.
198
00:09:11,069 --> 00:09:13,603
- Uh, steam fish.
- No, not that either.
199
00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:16,440
- Shepherd's pie then.
- Hmm. Wouldn't that be lovely?
200
00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:17,607
We're out of that one too.
201
00:09:17,608 --> 00:09:19,209
What do you have in the kitchen?
202
00:09:24,682 --> 00:09:27,050
Today, in the kitchen,
we have Greg.
203
00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:32,255
- It's this pie contest madness.
- Oh, no.
204
00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:33,857
Oh, yeah, every year he decides
205
00:09:33,858 --> 00:09:35,826
that he's the chef,
that he can cook.
206
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:38,929
- And yet--
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
207
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,665
I chilled this dough.
I swear I did.
208
00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:45,569
- It's not fair.
- I'm not allowed in there.
209
00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:48,371
I'm a pie contest judge.
Conflict of interest.
210
00:09:48,372 --> 00:09:51,608
And, yes, I heard that you
stepped down from your post.
211
00:09:51,609 --> 00:09:53,076
God knows who they're gonna
get to replace you.
212
00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:56,847
It's gonna be a long weekend.
213
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:58,715
Ah, but we still might have
214
00:09:58,716 --> 00:10:00,751
one last tuna salad
in the back fridge.
215
00:10:00,752 --> 00:10:04,421
- I hate mayonnaise.
- Oh, beggars can't be choosers.
216
00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:05,990
I'll go check.
217
00:10:08,326 --> 00:10:10,261
Tuna salad is delicious.
218
00:10:10,262 --> 00:10:11,896
Lots of mayonnaise.
219
00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:22,206
Uh, I-I-I'm sorry, uh, you...
220
00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:25,809
I have to ask.
221
00:10:25,810 --> 00:10:30,213
You're blue. All of you.
And no makeup.
222
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,949
You're just blue.
223
00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:35,318
It's because of all
the blueberries I eat.
224
00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:37,922
You're joking.
225
00:10:39,857 --> 00:10:42,559
You're not?
Uh, no, you can't be serious.
226
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,663
Blueberries wouldn't...
227
00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:49,299
Yo, that's on me.
228
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,601
Yo, I'm so sorry.
229
00:10:50,602 --> 00:10:52,403
Totally, totally my fault.
230
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,704
I just couldn't see you
because my eyes.
231
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,406
Let's have a look.
Put your head back.
232
00:10:56,407 --> 00:10:57,975
Okay.
I-I think everything's fine.
233
00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,843
It's just allergies.
Happens every year.
234
00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,311
How about you let me
make the diagnosis
235
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,679
and you stick to being an idiot?
236
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,982
- Seems fair.
- You need to come to my office.
237
00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:07,117
I can't, doc. I gotta go
set up the dunk tank.
238
00:11:07,118 --> 00:11:09,086
Yes, I suppose a dunk tank
is more important
239
00:11:09,087 --> 00:11:10,887
than you going blind.
Come on. This way.
240
00:11:10,888 --> 00:11:12,256
Okay.
241
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,161
No, this way.
The other way, Mark.
242
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:18,629
This way.
243
00:11:19,764 --> 00:11:21,265
Ah!
244
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,734
Yes.
245
00:11:26,938 --> 00:11:28,872
It's ready.
Okay, that's good.
246
00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:31,575
So just like, keep my face
in frame all the time.
247
00:11:31,576 --> 00:11:33,276
- Yes.
- Like, I'll stay, but...
248
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:36,613
Shoo! Go, go, shoo!
249
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,482
You know, they replaced you
on the judging panel
250
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:39,549
with Bert.
251
00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:40,584
Ooh. Big mistake.
252
00:11:40,585 --> 00:11:41,618
You do not wanna give my dad
253
00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:42,686
that much power.
254
00:11:42,687 --> 00:11:44,688
Power? It's a pie contest.
255
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,556
Oh, come on, doc.
256
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,659
You know, everything here
is just so nice
257
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:49,993
and people are so sweet.
258
00:11:49,994 --> 00:11:51,928
We just need one day a year
to be, like,
259
00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:53,931
really competitive and vicious.
260
00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:56,233
Like "The Purge,"
but with blueberries.
261
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:59,235
All right, well, the eye drops
and the warm compress
262
00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:01,571
should help your eyes some,
but I strongly suspect
263
00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:03,040
you have Reiter's syndrome.
264
00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:04,408
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
265
00:12:04,409 --> 00:12:05,842
I haven't written anything
all week.
266
00:12:05,843 --> 00:12:08,712
Maybe a parking ticket.
And in my dream journal--
267
00:12:08,713 --> 00:12:10,848
R-E... Reiter's syndrome.
268
00:12:10,849 --> 00:12:13,850
Is is it painful to urinate,
Mark?
269
00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:15,686
Typically people suffering
from Reiter's
270
00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:17,654
can't see, can't pee,
and can't climb a tree
271
00:12:17,655 --> 00:12:19,289
due to untreated chlamydia.
272
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,825
Chlamydia? Chlamydia?
273
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:24,595
- The STD Chlamydia?
- Yes.
274
00:12:24,596 --> 00:12:26,396
How many sexual partners
have you had
275
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,932
since your breakup with Louisa?
276
00:12:28,933 --> 00:12:33,304
I don't know, like four, five...
277
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,439
eight...
278
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,675
- I think nine.
- My friend Gretchen.
279
00:12:38,676 --> 00:12:40,077
- Ten.
- Debbie
280
00:12:40,078 --> 00:12:41,278
Eleven.
281
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:44,748
- Ugh!
- Come on, doc.
282
00:12:44,749 --> 00:12:46,217
You know what it's like.
283
00:12:46,218 --> 00:12:48,284
Big man, small pond,
284
00:12:48,285 --> 00:12:50,721
all the fish jumping
into my net.
285
00:12:50,722 --> 00:12:53,156
- You get it?
- Yeah, I'd rather not.
286
00:12:53,157 --> 00:12:54,825
So you need to notify
287
00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:56,727
each of your sexual partners
of their exposure.
288
00:12:56,728 --> 00:12:58,662
Wait, doc. Notify them?
289
00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:00,830
Like, tell them that
I might have given them...
290
00:13:00,831 --> 00:13:02,799
That they might have chlamydia?
291
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,934
Exactly.
292
00:13:03,935 --> 00:13:05,435
And this will clear up
the infection.
293
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,970
Prescription for doxycycline.
294
00:13:06,971 --> 00:13:08,972
No. No. Wait, doc.
Doc, wait.
295
00:13:08,973 --> 00:13:13,077
So, like a prescription that
I need to, like, go get filled?
296
00:13:13,078 --> 00:13:15,412
Yes. I assume you know
how these things work.
297
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,880
Elaine, I'm going out
to get some food,
298
00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:18,783
and nothing is gonna stop me.
299
00:13:21,419 --> 00:13:23,119
Okay, I guess I have to...
300
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,856
Somebody's gotta pick up meds
from their mommy.
301
00:13:25,857 --> 00:13:27,625
Shut up, Al.
302
00:13:46,277 --> 00:13:48,312
Yes, sir.
303
00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:50,580
That's Barry Hammers.
304
00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:52,616
That's our Blue-Barry.
Get it?
305
00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:53,850
Blue-Barry.
306
00:13:53,851 --> 00:13:55,485
Here's your coffee, Judge Large.
307
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,554
- No charge, of course.
- Thank you.
308
00:13:57,555 --> 00:13:59,189
And he's the one
who wins first place
309
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,324
in the pie contest every year?
310
00:14:00,325 --> 00:14:01,391
- Him?
- Yeah.
311
00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:02,592
He-he's basically
312
00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,327
the Blueberry Festival mascot,
313
00:14:04,328 --> 00:14:06,930
a master baker,
and he's blue.
314
00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:08,465
That's because year in,
year out, all he eats--
315
00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:09,866
Now, that's ridiculous.
316
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:11,701
You could eat every blueberry
on the planet.
317
00:14:11,702 --> 00:14:13,303
- It wouldn't turn you blue.
- You know, I turned orange...
318
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:14,872
when I was
on that carrot diet.
319
00:14:14,873 --> 00:14:17,307
- It's not the same thing, Bert.
- Tell that the Blue Barry.
320
00:14:17,308 --> 00:14:18,675
Judge Large, almost done
321
00:14:18,676 --> 00:14:20,443
with your complimentary
oil change.
322
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:21,945
Oh, thanks, Billy.
323
00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:23,314
And, hey, tell the missus
I'd love
324
00:14:23,315 --> 00:14:25,215
to get my backyard weeded.
325
00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:26,984
No, there must be something
wrong with him.
326
00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:29,386
Some condition,
and he's using a--
327
00:14:29,387 --> 00:14:31,088
Leave him alone, doc.
328
00:14:31,089 --> 00:14:34,290
Poor old Blue Barry looks
a hell of a lot better now
329
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,926
than when we were
in high school.
330
00:14:35,927 --> 00:14:37,527
Scary Barry.
331
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,929
He was a real fright back then.
332
00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:41,665
Scary Barry?
Why did they call him that?
333
00:14:41,666 --> 00:14:44,801
- Well--
- Hey, Bert, your car's all done.
334
00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:47,538
Excuse me.
Pie business.
335
00:14:49,073 --> 00:14:51,675
Hey, Billy,
how's the bacon coming?
336
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:54,144
You know, the bottom's
still soggy...
337
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:59,116
Oh, Martin, hi.
I've been looking for you.
338
00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:01,484
I just wanted to apologize
for being so forward
339
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,986
about the pie contest earlier.
340
00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:05,522
I just think that maybe
my ambition got best of--
341
00:15:05,523 --> 00:15:08,191
Why is this contest
so important to you?
342
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,993
Oh, well, um...
343
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:11,928
I've always loved to bake.
344
00:15:11,929 --> 00:15:14,565
And in the past, I, I couldn't
really try my best
345
00:15:14,566 --> 00:15:16,300
because I couldn't
outshine Sally,
346
00:15:16,301 --> 00:15:17,434
my future mother-in-law.
347
00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:19,336
Former future mother-in-law.
348
00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:21,672
I-I always had to wallow
in third place
349
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:24,141
and let her take second
year after year.
350
00:15:24,142 --> 00:15:25,576
But now, the gloves are off.
351
00:15:25,577 --> 00:15:27,377
You know,
I'm not with Mark anymore,
352
00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:30,447
and I've got a brand-new baking
trick up my sleeve, and...
353
00:15:30,448 --> 00:15:32,082
I don't know,
I just feel like
354
00:15:32,083 --> 00:15:34,017
maybe if I could just bust out
of third place,
355
00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:36,286
that maybe I could get everyone
to see me in a new light.
356
00:15:36,287 --> 00:15:37,654
You know how small towns
357
00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:39,789
can put you in a box,
give you a label?
358
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,558
You're the spinster.
You're the idiot.
359
00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:43,426
- You're the grump.
- Pie judge.
360
00:15:43,427 --> 00:15:44,862
Exactly.
361
00:15:47,799 --> 00:15:50,034
And you?
You're the...
362
00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:53,771
- Heartbreaker.
- Hm.
363
00:15:57,442 --> 00:15:58,742
Well...
364
00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:00,678
it does seem like
a colossal waste
365
00:16:00,679 --> 00:16:02,546
of time, energy, and food,
366
00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,882
but I suppose
these little contests
367
00:16:04,883 --> 00:16:06,350
do help to distract people
368
00:16:06,351 --> 00:16:07,450
from the dreary realities
369
00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:09,887
of living in a dead-end town.
370
00:16:09,888 --> 00:16:11,689
Hmm.
371
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,123
Well, thank you for that.
372
00:16:13,124 --> 00:16:14,825
Um, but this contest
373
00:16:14,826 --> 00:16:17,327
actually really means
something to me.
374
00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:18,962
You know, especially this year
375
00:16:18,963 --> 00:16:21,698
when, uh, when I'm trying
to prove to myself, actually,
376
00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:24,602
that I can, can be
more than I thought I could.
377
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:34,411
Now, listen, Johnny.
378
00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:36,146
I let you off the hook
last week twice
379
00:16:36,147 --> 00:16:38,081
because you were filling
mailboxes with fish heads.
380
00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:39,416
All right? No!
381
00:16:39,417 --> 00:16:41,351
So you're gonna do
this for me, okay?
382
00:16:41,352 --> 00:16:44,221
- Here.
- Dude, this is crazy.
383
00:16:44,222 --> 00:16:47,824
Your name's on the prescription.
The pharmacist is your mom.
384
00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:50,661
Okay, but she's really busy,
and she may not notice. Okay?
385
00:16:50,662 --> 00:16:52,530
Here, come on.
I'll give you my handcuffs.
386
00:16:52,531 --> 00:16:54,065
I'm not gonna do it.
387
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,035
Your eyes look super grody.
388
00:16:58,036 --> 00:16:59,804
Shut up, Johnny! Huh?
389
00:17:01,305 --> 00:17:03,774
Yeah. Your little baby bike!
390
00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:06,610
Sally.
391
00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:09,079
What's supposed to go
right here?
392
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,015
Oh, that's for
my next trophy, of course.
393
00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:13,584
Oh, but you're a judge
this year.
394
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:15,852
We should not be talking about
the pie contest.
395
00:17:15,853 --> 00:17:18,122
Okay, here.
Let me ring you up.
396
00:17:19,658 --> 00:17:21,291
With the new prescription,
397
00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,293
that is $127.90.
398
00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:28,398
What? $127 a month?
What the hell?
399
00:17:28,399 --> 00:17:29,566
Well, it's this
new blood thinner
400
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,001
that Dr. Best puts you on.
401
00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,435
It's very pricey.
402
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,071
No, no, no, I'll just stick
to the old one.
403
00:17:34,072 --> 00:17:35,305
I'm not paying that.
404
00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:37,540
Well, you do have
one refill left.
405
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,443
Should I call Dr. Best
to make sure it's okay?
406
00:17:39,444 --> 00:17:41,444
No, no, I'm keeping him
407
00:17:41,445 --> 00:17:44,547
out of my personal health issues
from now on.
408
00:17:44,548 --> 00:17:46,616
He comes to lunch and brings
his stethoscope.
409
00:17:46,617 --> 00:17:48,818
Ooh! Is it cold on your skin?
410
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:52,122
I bet Dr. Best has
very warm hands.
411
00:17:52,123 --> 00:17:53,690
Sally. He's my nephew.
412
00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:55,126
All right.
413
00:17:56,427 --> 00:17:58,294
$21.45 then.
414
00:17:58,295 --> 00:18:00,864
- Okay.
- Oh, hi, honey.
415
00:18:00,865 --> 00:18:04,167
- What brings you in?
- Oh, hey, hey, ma.
416
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:05,436
Can't really talk right now.
417
00:18:05,437 --> 00:18:06,903
I have this developing
crime situation
418
00:18:06,904 --> 00:18:07,938
down on Lincoln.
419
00:18:07,939 --> 00:18:09,873
Um, I just need to fill
this prescript
420
00:18:09,874 --> 00:18:12,576
real fast.
No biggie. No diggity.
421
00:18:15,212 --> 00:18:17,947
- Did Louisa do this to you?
- No, mom, stop.
422
00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:20,717
What is it?
Gonorrhea? Syphilis?
423
00:18:20,718 --> 00:18:22,853
The big H? The little H?
424
00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:25,789
No, no, it has nothing do,
nothing like that.
425
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,925
And Louisa
has nothing to do with it.
426
00:18:28,926 --> 00:18:31,662
It's...
427
00:18:34,131 --> 00:18:35,565
It's chlamydia.
428
00:18:35,566 --> 00:18:38,435
Chlamydia?
Well, that's not so bad.
429
00:18:38,436 --> 00:18:40,704
Everybody's had chlamydia, sweetheart.
430
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,439
At least it's not the crabs.
431
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,108
Crabs are so much worse.
432
00:18:44,109 --> 00:18:47,210
Looking down and seeing those
little monsters snapping at you.
433
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,478
Who gave this to you?
434
00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:49,746
Was it that Gretchen?
435
00:18:49,747 --> 00:18:52,082
Elaine's friend,
the one with the face?
436
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:53,216
They all have faces...
437
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,617
Oh, yeah, sounds right.
438
00:18:54,618 --> 00:18:56,420
- She's awful.
- No.
439
00:18:56,421 --> 00:18:58,288
I don't know. I don't know!
440
00:18:58,289 --> 00:19:00,057
Honey, relax.
441
00:19:00,058 --> 00:19:01,725
You're a single man now.
442
00:19:01,726 --> 00:19:03,827
Something like this
was bound to happen.
443
00:19:03,828 --> 00:19:06,296
I'm actually proud of you
444
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:07,597
sowing your wild oats.
445
00:19:07,598 --> 00:19:10,533
And until this antibiotic
kicks in,
446
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,302
a good place to dip your doinker
447
00:19:12,303 --> 00:19:13,603
for a few minutes every night
448
00:19:13,604 --> 00:19:16,173
is a nice cold glass of 7-Up.
449
00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:17,708
Mom, stop!
450
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,077
- Hm.
- Really?
451
00:19:20,078 --> 00:19:22,179
Yeah, honey.
452
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,814
Something about the bubbles.
453
00:19:49,541 --> 00:19:51,308
It's better. This is...
454
00:19:52,577 --> 00:19:54,711
Ah! You're not supposed
to be here.
455
00:19:54,712 --> 00:19:56,246
I'm still getting ready
for tomorrow.
456
00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:58,615
I'm so sorry. Should I come back
at a better time?
457
00:19:58,616 --> 00:20:00,884
Yeah, actually.
This is a mess.
458
00:20:00,885 --> 00:20:02,552
Al can't be my cameraman
anymore.
459
00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:04,154
He has to run the dunk tank
tomorrow
460
00:20:04,155 --> 00:20:06,056
at the street fair.
461
00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:07,724
What are you doing here?
462
00:20:07,725 --> 00:20:09,693
I'm looking to see if Dr. Reese
463
00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:11,828
ever treated Barry Hammers.
464
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,830
I need to understand
why that man is blue.
465
00:20:13,831 --> 00:20:15,699
Something could actually
be wrong with him.
466
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,968
A whole half day off, and you
can't stop doctoring.
467
00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:20,437
Not gonna find any files
on there for Barry Hammers.
468
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:22,105
- I'm not?
- Blue Barry?
469
00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:24,708
He was never a patient here.
Like, ever.
470
00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:26,409
Someone actually told me...
471
00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:28,111
Was it Irma?
I think it was Irma.
472
00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:30,714
Was it Irma? I don't know if
it was Irma specifically.
473
00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,549
- Irregar--
- Told you what?
474
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,618
Irma says that Blue Barry
475
00:20:34,619 --> 00:20:37,154
had some kind of horrible
medical condition
476
00:20:37,155 --> 00:20:38,688
when he was in high school.
477
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:40,790
He had to be seen by some
specialist in Bar Harbor.
478
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:43,693
- A specialist?
- Yeah. Okay, listen, listen.
479
00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:46,430
You're gonna be my cameraman
tomorrow at the festival.
480
00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:47,831
Oh.
481
00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:49,532
I most certainly
will not be doing that.
482
00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:52,068
Al is out. You're the only
option that I have left.
483
00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:53,837
And I'm covering the festival
from 9:00 a.m.
484
00:20:53,838 --> 00:20:56,340
to midnight tomorrow, so please
wear some comfortable shoes.
485
00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:58,008
Not these.
486
00:20:58,009 --> 00:21:00,143
For the last time,
I will not be attending
487
00:21:00,144 --> 00:21:04,315
or participating in
this godforsaken festival.
488
00:21:07,051 --> 00:21:08,585
What?
489
00:21:08,586 --> 00:21:10,154
What? What-what is this look?
490
00:21:12,189 --> 00:21:14,424
No, I just...
491
00:21:14,425 --> 00:21:15,692
I would just like to remind you
492
00:21:15,693 --> 00:21:18,328
that there are certain things
493
00:21:18,329 --> 00:21:20,164
that I'm doing.
494
00:21:20,165 --> 00:21:21,898
Certain blood things
495
00:21:21,899 --> 00:21:24,034
that I am doing.
496
00:21:24,035 --> 00:21:25,602
For you.
497
00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:27,304
Things that I may not
want to do,
498
00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:29,172
but that I do anyway.
499
00:21:29,173 --> 00:21:31,307
So, maybe...
500
00:21:31,308 --> 00:21:34,578
you could do something for me
501
00:21:34,579 --> 00:21:36,580
that you don't wanna do.
502
00:21:36,581 --> 00:21:38,715
This is blackmail.
503
00:21:38,716 --> 00:21:41,584
You are blackmailing me.
504
00:21:41,585 --> 00:21:43,086
And remember,
505
00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,155
this is the good side
of my face.
506
00:21:49,193 --> 00:21:51,729
Doc Martin and Elaine's office.
507
00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:54,398
How can I help you today?
508
00:21:54,399 --> 00:21:56,667
Oh, yes. Okay. Yes.
509
00:21:58,002 --> 00:22:00,403
The doctor is needed
at the Salty Breeze.
510
00:22:00,404 --> 00:22:02,306
Somebody has burned their hand.
511
00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:06,310
And I will see you tomorrow
512
00:22:06,311 --> 00:22:07,945
at the Blueberry Festival
513
00:22:07,946 --> 00:22:11,582
at 9:00 a.m.,
live from Port Wenn.
514
00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:13,317
Have a safe evening.
515
00:22:14,218 --> 00:22:16,420
And goodnight.
516
00:22:16,421 --> 00:22:18,388
He's been baking
around the clock,
517
00:22:18,389 --> 00:22:20,657
not sleeping,
not being careful.
518
00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:21,792
It'll be fine.
519
00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:24,060
But what isn't fine...
520
00:22:24,061 --> 00:22:26,930
is people getting injured
because of a pie contest.
521
00:22:26,931 --> 00:22:28,532
No, you can't wrap it up
too much.
522
00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:30,701
I need my hand all day tomorrow.
I have to bake.
523
00:22:30,702 --> 00:22:32,703
- Do you hear what you're saying?
- I have to bake.
524
00:22:32,704 --> 00:22:34,171
You're having
a nervous breakdown
525
00:22:34,172 --> 00:22:35,538
over a pie contest.
526
00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:36,573
I have to bake.
527
00:22:36,574 --> 00:22:38,575
Greg, honey, this pie contest
528
00:22:38,576 --> 00:22:40,444
is giving you an anxiety attack.
529
00:22:40,445 --> 00:22:42,313
But won't it be worth it
if I win?
530
00:22:42,314 --> 00:22:43,446
No.
531
00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:44,981
All year long, all I hear about
532
00:22:44,982 --> 00:22:47,851
is George's lobster rolls
and George's chowder.
533
00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:50,421
I... People just see me
as the money guy,
534
00:22:50,422 --> 00:22:52,289
some silent partner,
535
00:22:52,290 --> 00:22:55,025
George's less creative
other half,
536
00:22:55,026 --> 00:22:56,793
but I'm more than that.
537
00:22:56,794 --> 00:22:58,128
Can't you just give him
a sedative?
538
00:22:58,129 --> 00:23:00,297
Everyone in this town needs
a sedative.
539
00:23:00,298 --> 00:23:04,067
I can't win the pie contest.
540
00:23:04,068 --> 00:23:05,402
Barry will win.
541
00:23:05,403 --> 00:23:07,838
- Barry always wins.
- Always wins.
542
00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:11,007
But for once, I'd like to
just place second,
543
00:23:11,008 --> 00:23:14,844
third, honorable mention,
tartest filling.
544
00:23:14,845 --> 00:23:17,147
It would prove that
I can make things, too.
545
00:23:17,148 --> 00:23:18,548
That I'm good with my hands.
546
00:23:18,549 --> 00:23:20,984
- Just not this hand.
- I know.
547
00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:24,788
I should be happy for
all of Barry's success.
548
00:23:24,789 --> 00:23:26,790
Irma told me what
a troubled youth he had.
549
00:23:26,791 --> 00:23:28,225
Wait, what do you mean by that?
550
00:23:28,226 --> 00:23:30,794
Just how he rose above
all his medical issues
551
00:23:30,795 --> 00:23:32,696
to become this local legend.
552
00:23:32,697 --> 00:23:34,564
I was a troubled teen, too.
553
00:23:34,565 --> 00:23:37,301
In high school,
the football team locked me
554
00:23:37,302 --> 00:23:38,835
in the janitor's closet
555
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:42,005
after I highlighted my hair.
556
00:23:42,006 --> 00:23:43,540
Where's my prize?
557
00:23:43,541 --> 00:23:45,542
So you're saying Barry
was sick as a kid?
558
00:23:45,543 --> 00:23:47,410
- Terrible illness?
- It was just acne.
559
00:23:47,411 --> 00:23:49,446
Horrible acne.
Apparently awful.
560
00:23:49,447 --> 00:23:50,814
Disfiguring.
561
00:23:50,815 --> 00:23:53,450
Irma went to the prom
with Scary Barry.
562
00:23:53,451 --> 00:23:54,585
So he had bad skin?
563
00:23:54,586 --> 00:23:56,586
And my mother disowned me.
564
00:23:56,587 --> 00:23:58,455
Maybe I should write that
in berries
565
00:23:58,456 --> 00:24:00,256
across the top of my pie.
566
00:24:00,257 --> 00:24:02,559
Greg, honey. Hey, look at me.
567
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,562
- Look at me.
- Look that way.
568
00:24:04,563 --> 00:24:06,830
I love you. So much.
569
00:24:06,831 --> 00:24:08,699
But this is not worth it.
570
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:10,667
Year after year,
you whip yourself up
571
00:24:10,668 --> 00:24:13,170
into a lather
over a blueberry!
572
00:24:13,171 --> 00:24:14,638
Oh!
573
00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:17,641
Yes!
574
00:24:42,567 --> 00:24:44,568
Hi.
575
00:24:44,569 --> 00:24:46,170
You getting this, though?
576
00:24:46,171 --> 00:24:47,904
Are you seeing that?
577
00:24:47,905 --> 00:24:50,407
Ah, okay. Ahem.
578
00:24:50,408 --> 00:24:52,576
Reporting live from Port Wenn's
579
00:24:52,577 --> 00:24:54,478
Annual Blueberry Festival,
580
00:24:54,479 --> 00:24:56,546
I am Elaine Denton.
581
00:24:56,547 --> 00:24:59,283
Let us take this moment
to get the reactions
582
00:24:59,284 --> 00:25:03,987
from the man and wo-man
on the street, shall we?
583
00:25:03,988 --> 00:25:06,824
- This should be fascinating.
- Just seriously.
584
00:25:06,825 --> 00:25:08,191
So it's men and women
on the street?
585
00:25:08,192 --> 00:25:09,826
It's everyone on the street.
586
00:25:09,827 --> 00:25:11,695
Mm. You wanna get
a reaction from the pig?
587
00:25:11,696 --> 00:25:13,430
Won't you to ask the pig
a question?
588
00:25:13,431 --> 00:25:14,931
Hello, good sir.
589
00:25:14,932 --> 00:25:18,268
How are you finding
the festival this year?
590
00:25:18,269 --> 00:25:21,071
- It's okay.
- Okay?
591
00:25:21,072 --> 00:25:23,540
So th-that's all
you're feeling?
592
00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:25,475
Uh, okay.
593
00:25:25,476 --> 00:25:26,743
Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm asking.
594
00:25:26,744 --> 00:25:29,814
- It's just okay?
- Oh, okay.
595
00:25:31,616 --> 00:25:34,718
Okay. Have you ever
actually hit someone
596
00:25:34,719 --> 00:25:36,253
with your rolling pin?
597
00:25:37,822 --> 00:25:40,090
Cobbler, crumble, or crisp,
598
00:25:40,091 --> 00:25:43,260
can anything really compete
with pie?
599
00:25:46,864 --> 00:25:49,566
Hello, ma'am, have you traveled
a great distance
600
00:25:49,567 --> 00:25:52,002
to sample Maine's finest
blueberries
601
00:25:52,003 --> 00:25:53,804
here in Port Wenn?
602
00:25:53,805 --> 00:25:56,973
Elaine, it's me, Irma.
603
00:25:56,974 --> 00:25:59,342
Hey, how many people are
watching my live feed now?
604
00:25:59,343 --> 00:26:00,710
How should I know?
605
00:26:00,711 --> 00:26:02,579
The number is at the top
of the screen.
606
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:04,415
What are you, like a hundred?
607
00:26:04,416 --> 00:26:05,682
Two.
608
00:26:05,683 --> 00:26:08,219
Al and someone named
Port Wenn-dy.
609
00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:10,220
That's it?
610
00:26:10,221 --> 00:26:12,655
Nobody else in the whole town
is watching my coverage?
611
00:26:12,656 --> 00:26:15,059
It's not the moon landing,
and everyone is here.
612
00:26:15,060 --> 00:26:16,960
Oh, it's a disaster.
613
00:26:16,961 --> 00:26:19,229
How am I ever gonna get any kind
of a national following?
614
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:21,565
I can't even get my friends
and neighbors to watch me.
615
00:26:21,566 --> 00:26:24,034
Wait. We have another
live viewer.
616
00:26:25,537 --> 00:26:27,938
- It's your mother.
- She's just tuning in now?
617
00:26:27,939 --> 00:26:32,009
No, but she's commenting.
"Is that my blazer?"
618
00:26:33,711 --> 00:26:36,413
Oh, this is something.
619
00:26:36,414 --> 00:26:37,948
This is something.
This is something.
620
00:26:37,949 --> 00:26:39,449
Doc!
621
00:26:41,419 --> 00:26:43,754
All right, now, everybody!
622
00:26:44,455 --> 00:26:46,456
One dollar per throw.
623
00:26:46,457 --> 00:26:48,425
All proceeds to benefit
624
00:26:48,426 --> 00:26:51,562
the Jailhouse Black Mold
Removal Fund!
625
00:26:51,563 --> 00:26:55,098
- Oh, Kimberly, um, how are you?
- I got your message.
626
00:26:55,099 --> 00:26:57,834
Oh, right, about
the, um, the notification.
627
00:26:57,835 --> 00:27:00,437
Right. Just wanted to
keep you aware.
628
00:27:00,438 --> 00:27:02,306
So I just have to go there
because...
629
00:27:02,307 --> 00:27:03,606
It's just I have
a dunk tank thing
630
00:27:03,607 --> 00:27:04,975
that I'm kind of doing
right now.
631
00:27:04,976 --> 00:27:06,877
My mother heard the voicemail
you left me.
632
00:27:06,878 --> 00:27:08,845
- She did?
- I'm gonna kill you.
633
00:27:08,846 --> 00:27:12,282
Okay. Okay. You know, we don't
need to, like, hurl...
634
00:27:12,283 --> 00:27:14,051
Just, you know, we can...
635
00:27:14,052 --> 00:27:15,886
Okay, so if we just...
636
00:27:15,887 --> 00:27:19,589
Marilyn? Yvonne? Gretchen?!
Gretchen.
637
00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:21,291
Oh, you guys just got my call.
638
00:27:21,292 --> 00:27:23,560
That's good because,
that's good
639
00:27:23,561 --> 00:27:24,828
because sometimes
it went to voicemail.
640
00:27:24,829 --> 00:27:26,697
I wasn't sure. Okay, ladies.
641
00:27:26,698 --> 00:27:28,698
Let's just remember
that this is a game, huh?
642
00:27:28,699 --> 00:27:29,966
It's all for fun.
643
00:27:29,967 --> 00:27:31,268
A larger
than normal turnout
644
00:27:31,269 --> 00:27:32,436
at the dunk tank this year.
645
00:27:32,437 --> 00:27:33,670
All of the players seem
646
00:27:33,671 --> 00:27:34,938
very motivated.
647
00:27:34,939 --> 00:27:36,774
Your faces are just so angry.
648
00:27:39,077 --> 00:27:40,710
- Okay!
- Whoa!
649
00:27:40,711 --> 00:27:42,479
That was a real slammer there,
Karen. That was...
650
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,548
- Whoo!
- My name is Carol.
651
00:27:44,549 --> 00:27:46,883
Carol. I meant...
I knew that.
652
00:27:46,884 --> 00:27:48,885
She feels very strongly about
653
00:27:48,886 --> 00:27:51,688
eradicating that jailhouse mold.
654
00:27:51,689 --> 00:27:53,723
You, you gotta put
some high heat on that one.
655
00:27:53,724 --> 00:27:55,759
Whoo! Okay, that was...
656
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:56,861
Wha!
657
00:27:57,928 --> 00:28:00,530
Okay! I felt it.
658
00:28:00,531 --> 00:28:03,166
Everything got, like, whooped.
659
00:28:05,903 --> 00:28:07,138
Okay.
660
00:28:11,009 --> 00:28:13,810
Okay, okay, okay.
Enough, enough, back off!
661
00:28:13,811 --> 00:28:16,312
Ladies, come on!
Come on, enough, enough!
662
00:28:16,313 --> 00:28:17,815
Okay, enough!
663
00:28:20,150 --> 00:28:21,518
Hey.
664
00:28:23,453 --> 00:28:25,054
Is this embarrassing for me?
665
00:28:25,055 --> 00:28:26,456
Yes.
666
00:28:27,858 --> 00:28:30,293
Attention!
Attention, everybody!
667
00:28:30,294 --> 00:28:32,528
It's almost time!
The judges have finished
668
00:28:32,529 --> 00:28:34,397
their final tasting round,
and soon we'll begin
669
00:28:34,398 --> 00:28:37,433
the award ceremony
for the Annual Port Wenn's
670
00:28:37,434 --> 00:28:39,268
Blueberry Pie Contest.
671
00:28:39,269 --> 00:28:40,903
Now, somewhere in the crowd
672
00:28:40,904 --> 00:28:42,137
could be this year's winner.
673
00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:43,305
Who will it be?
674
00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,475
Come on into Legion Hall
and grab a seat!
675
00:28:45,476 --> 00:28:47,042
Oh, wait, oh, wait.
676
00:28:47,043 --> 00:28:48,644
We're at capacity.
677
00:28:48,645 --> 00:28:49,545
Sorry.
678
00:28:49,546 --> 00:28:51,213
Well, that's not my fault!
679
00:28:51,214 --> 00:28:52,948
Come on, you guys
should have known!
680
00:28:52,949 --> 00:28:55,051
No, no.
681
00:28:55,052 --> 00:28:57,687
You know better than that.
682
00:29:10,467 --> 00:29:12,268
- Hey.
- All right.
683
00:29:18,408 --> 00:29:20,777
- Um, sorry.
- Hm.
684
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:24,547
Perfect.
685
00:29:24,548 --> 00:29:27,483
Tucked snugly
into a crowded firehouse.
686
00:29:27,484 --> 00:29:29,318
Shh.
687
00:29:29,319 --> 00:29:31,153
Completely shut out every year.
688
00:29:31,154 --> 00:29:32,288
Left behind every year.
689
00:29:32,289 --> 00:29:33,589
I'm trying to watch this.
690
00:29:33,590 --> 00:29:35,658
Oh, of course, of course.
I'm sorry.
691
00:29:35,659 --> 00:29:37,293
Okay, how many people
are watching now?
692
00:29:37,294 --> 00:29:39,161
On the live feed, I mean.
693
00:29:39,162 --> 00:29:41,063
- One.
- Just my mom?
694
00:29:41,064 --> 00:29:44,166
Okay. I guess Al made it
inside then.
695
00:29:44,167 --> 00:29:45,734
Okay. All right, ahem,
all right.
696
00:29:45,735 --> 00:29:48,170
This is so stressful.
697
00:29:48,171 --> 00:29:50,507
Get a hold of yourself.
698
00:29:52,142 --> 00:29:56,546
Louisa, you're cutting off
the circulation in your fingers.
699
00:29:56,547 --> 00:29:58,147
Just another simple person
700
00:29:58,148 --> 00:30:01,617
trying to distract herself from
the dreary reality, I suppose.
701
00:30:01,618 --> 00:30:03,986
I-I didn't mean to imply
that you were simple.
702
00:30:03,987 --> 00:30:05,521
I-I was only...
703
00:30:05,522 --> 00:30:07,323
I-it's just a pie contest.
704
00:30:07,324 --> 00:30:10,059
No, it's more than that.
But you wouldn't understand
705
00:30:10,060 --> 00:30:11,126
because you don't want
to understand.
706
00:30:11,127 --> 00:30:12,428
And you don't want to understand
707
00:30:12,429 --> 00:30:14,630
because you actually
don't give a crap.
708
00:30:14,631 --> 00:30:18,034
I'm number two.
709
00:30:18,035 --> 00:30:20,936
Good evening.
Good afternoon, mom.
710
00:30:20,937 --> 00:30:23,039
I'm Elaine Denton
711
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,940
recording, reporting live
712
00:30:24,941 --> 00:30:29,279
inside Legion Hall where
judging has just commenced.
713
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,814
Demenced. Has ended.
714
00:30:31,815 --> 00:30:34,583
And basically they've,
they've eaten all the pies
715
00:30:34,584 --> 00:30:36,785
and soon will know the winner.
716
00:30:36,786 --> 00:30:38,787
Live. With me.
717
00:30:38,788 --> 00:30:43,058
Your daughter.
For Blue Witness Eyes.
718
00:30:43,059 --> 00:30:44,594
Eyewitness Blues.
719
00:30:46,296 --> 00:30:48,964
Ladies and gentlemen,
good afternoon.
720
00:30:48,965 --> 00:30:52,001
Uh, we, the judges, have come up
with our final decisions.
721
00:30:52,002 --> 00:30:55,304
Now, as you know,
this is a blind taste test.
722
00:30:55,305 --> 00:30:58,574
And it is my job,
privilege, honor,
723
00:30:58,575 --> 00:31:01,510
to announce that
in third place,
724
00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:04,447
pie 21.
725
00:31:04,448 --> 00:31:06,282
What?
726
00:31:06,283 --> 00:31:08,717
That's me. That's me.
727
00:31:08,718 --> 00:31:10,420
No.
That's me.
728
00:31:10,421 --> 00:31:11,887
- No.
- That's me.
729
00:31:11,888 --> 00:31:13,656
Wow, big upset.
730
00:31:13,657 --> 00:31:17,160
Greg Garrison has
taken third place.
731
00:31:18,795 --> 00:31:21,463
Also, mom, can I keep
the blazer?
732
00:31:21,464 --> 00:31:23,732
- I think it looks good on me.
- I did it! I did it!
733
00:31:23,733 --> 00:31:26,268
I made something good!
And I placed!
734
00:31:26,269 --> 00:31:29,071
I knew you could do it,
honey!
735
00:31:29,072 --> 00:31:31,875
But I-I-I always win third.
Always.
736
00:31:33,176 --> 00:31:34,911
Does this mean...
737
00:31:39,282 --> 00:31:42,818
And in second place,
we chose
738
00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:44,521
pie number seven.
739
00:31:45,755 --> 00:31:47,156
C'est moi.
740
00:31:47,157 --> 00:31:48,725
Well, mom,
you were right.
741
00:31:48,726 --> 00:31:50,159
Sally Milo has taken
742
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,261
second place again this year.
743
00:31:52,262 --> 00:31:54,430
Wait. Wait.
744
00:31:54,431 --> 00:31:56,165
What does this mean?
745
00:31:56,166 --> 00:31:57,633
I couldn't...
746
00:31:57,634 --> 00:32:00,036
Did I? Have I?
747
00:32:00,037 --> 00:32:01,805
Have I taken first?
748
00:32:04,708 --> 00:32:08,911
And thank you.
In first place...
749
00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:09,946
Excuse me.
750
00:32:11,915 --> 00:32:16,852
In first place is pie 13.
751
00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:18,788
What?
752
00:32:21,625 --> 00:32:23,960
Oh! Again?
753
00:32:23,961 --> 00:32:26,929
And as always, Barry Hammers
takes first place
754
00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:29,998
in the Annual Port Wenn
Pie Baking Contest.
755
00:32:29,999 --> 00:32:31,167
I didn't even...
756
00:32:31,168 --> 00:32:32,902
I didn't even place?
757
00:32:46,216 --> 00:32:47,517
Aunt Sarah!
758
00:32:51,989 --> 00:32:54,156
I'm fine.
759
00:32:54,157 --> 00:32:56,292
No, your heartbeat is weak
and irregular.
760
00:32:56,293 --> 00:32:57,593
How long until the ambulance
gets here?
761
00:32:57,594 --> 00:32:59,428
Ten minutes.
They're all out at the hospital.
762
00:32:59,429 --> 00:33:01,530
- We can take her in my car.
- No, we need the oxygen.
763
00:33:01,531 --> 00:33:03,699
- We can do ten minutes.
- I'm okay.
764
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:07,904
No. You just need to hold still
and be quiet, okay?
765
00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,712
Oh, um, clear the street
outside of Legion Hall.
766
00:33:16,713 --> 00:33:18,214
An ambulance is
coming for Sarah,
767
00:33:18,215 --> 00:33:19,581
and everybody think
good thoughts.
768
00:33:19,582 --> 00:33:21,450
- She's gonna be okay.
- Okay.
769
00:33:21,451 --> 00:33:23,820
We're waiting for the ambulance.
770
00:33:23,821 --> 00:33:25,921
- ...waiting for the ambulance...
- I don't understand.
771
00:33:25,922 --> 00:33:27,289
She was fine all day,
772
00:33:27,290 --> 00:33:28,991
right up until the last round
of judging.
773
00:33:28,992 --> 00:33:30,293
When did she start feeling ill?
774
00:33:30,294 --> 00:33:31,427
We ate so much.
775
00:33:31,428 --> 00:33:33,262
I think it started
776
00:33:33,263 --> 00:33:35,764
just when we were tasting
the last few pies.
777
00:33:35,765 --> 00:33:37,332
Those pies.
778
00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:40,703
Well, she is on a wide
assortment of medications.
779
00:33:40,704 --> 00:33:42,905
Possible some ingredient
in one of the pies
780
00:33:42,906 --> 00:33:45,207
is interacting badly with...
781
00:33:45,208 --> 00:33:46,709
W-which of those pies
did she eat less?
782
00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:49,478
- Um, um, that one, number seven.
- Oh, that's my pie.
783
00:33:49,479 --> 00:33:51,580
Okay, I need you to tell me
exactly what's in your pie
784
00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:54,016
right now, every ingredient.
785
00:33:54,017 --> 00:33:56,318
Oh, it's, uh, nothing unusual.
786
00:33:56,319 --> 00:34:00,155
Um, lard, lard in the, um,
organic wheat crust.
787
00:34:00,156 --> 00:34:01,390
Mm-hmm.
788
00:34:01,391 --> 00:34:03,893
And, uh, sugar,
cornstarch, lemon.
789
00:34:03,894 --> 00:34:05,294
Blueberries, of course.
790
00:34:05,295 --> 00:34:07,296
Oh, do I have to say it?
791
00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:08,931
Yes!
792
00:34:08,932 --> 00:34:13,035
Just a sprinkle of powdered MSG.
793
00:34:14,671 --> 00:34:17,807
My mother always said it made
the blueberries pop.
794
00:34:17,808 --> 00:34:18,841
And it was nothing.
795
00:34:18,842 --> 00:34:21,277
I was like, no,
barely nothing there.
796
00:34:21,278 --> 00:34:23,078
Monosodium glutamate
would only cause
797
00:34:23,079 --> 00:34:24,714
a slight increase in heartrate.
798
00:34:24,715 --> 00:34:26,615
That's not what's happening
here. It's not the MSG.
799
00:34:26,616 --> 00:34:29,318
But that MSG is a violation
of contest rules.
800
00:34:29,319 --> 00:34:32,722
All organic, all homegrown
ingredients. You cheated.
801
00:34:32,723 --> 00:34:35,524
Sally Milo, I'm afraid
we have to eliminate you
802
00:34:35,525 --> 00:34:36,893
from the competition.
803
00:34:36,894 --> 00:34:39,461
No. No, George, no!
804
00:34:39,462 --> 00:34:42,698
Well, w-who made that pie,
number 14, over there?
805
00:34:42,699 --> 00:34:44,467
That would have been
in fourth place, right?
806
00:34:44,468 --> 00:34:47,537
That's mine.
That's, that's my pie.
807
00:34:49,706 --> 00:34:52,341
Oh, um,
hello, everyone.
808
00:34:52,342 --> 00:34:54,177
Uh, a very surprising
turn of events
809
00:34:54,178 --> 00:34:56,546
here at the pie contest.
810
00:34:56,547 --> 00:34:58,715
Quiet, everyone, everyone!
811
00:34:58,716 --> 00:35:00,816
What pie did Sarah eat
before Sally's?
812
00:35:00,817 --> 00:35:02,184
Uh, that one, pie 13.
813
00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:03,753
Yeah, yeah, that's Blue Barry's
blueberry pie.
814
00:35:03,754 --> 00:35:06,822
I can guarantee you
that the ingredients in my pie
815
00:35:06,823 --> 00:35:10,793
are, as always, 100% organic
and homegrown.
816
00:35:10,794 --> 00:35:12,595
Did you grow your ingredients
yourself?
817
00:35:12,596 --> 00:35:13,729
Yes.
818
00:35:13,730 --> 00:35:15,264
And did you use any fertilizers
or pesticides?
819
00:35:15,265 --> 00:35:17,733
How dare you
even ask me that?
820
00:35:17,734 --> 00:35:20,536
Do you even know
what organic means?
821
00:35:20,537 --> 00:35:22,571
Are we gonna really
let this outsider
822
00:35:22,572 --> 00:35:25,441
come into our town
and question me?
823
00:35:25,442 --> 00:35:28,611
Blue Barry,
the Blueberry Festival mascot.
824
00:35:28,612 --> 00:35:30,579
Excuse me,
I was merely asking if...
825
00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:32,581
Then I am merely telling you
826
00:35:32,582 --> 00:35:36,585
that I was guaranteed
my pie's ingredients
827
00:35:36,586 --> 00:35:41,457
were 100% certified organic.
828
00:35:41,458 --> 00:35:44,760
Wait, y-you were guaranteed
by whom?
829
00:35:44,761 --> 00:35:46,628
By me.
830
00:35:46,629 --> 00:35:48,597
I guaranteed me.
831
00:35:48,598 --> 00:35:50,533
You bought that pie, didn't you?
832
00:35:50,534 --> 00:35:52,167
No, no, of course not.
833
00:35:52,168 --> 00:35:53,402
I don't care if that pie came
834
00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:54,537
from your kitchen
or the dumpster
835
00:35:54,538 --> 00:35:55,737
behind the Salty Breeze.
836
00:35:55,738 --> 00:35:57,439
I only care about
my aunt's life.
837
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,942
Now, do you or do you not know
838
00:35:58,943 --> 00:36:01,044
what's in that pie?
839
00:36:01,045 --> 00:36:03,011
I don't know. I bought it.
840
00:36:04,614 --> 00:36:07,583
Online. But there was nothing
unusual in it.
841
00:36:07,584 --> 00:36:10,552
I-I swear to you, I swear.
842
00:36:10,553 --> 00:36:12,154
I wish I could describe
843
00:36:12,155 --> 00:36:13,555
the feeling
in the room right now.
844
00:36:13,556 --> 00:36:16,659
- It is electric.
- You're B-Blue Barry.
845
00:36:16,660 --> 00:36:19,295
Be-because of all
the blueberries you eat.
846
00:36:19,296 --> 00:36:23,031
Because, year in and year out,
around the clock,
847
00:36:23,032 --> 00:36:25,334
you're baking blueberry pies.
848
00:36:25,335 --> 00:36:27,402
I don't even know how to cook!
849
00:36:27,403 --> 00:36:28,837
Oh, my gosh.
850
00:36:28,838 --> 00:36:31,073
And it's not from blueberries,
Bert.
851
00:36:31,074 --> 00:36:34,676
He's been using colloidal silver
for, what, 40 years?
852
00:36:34,677 --> 00:36:37,079
You saw that dermatologist
when you were a teenager
853
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,582
and he prescribed it
for your chronic acne, right?
854
00:36:39,583 --> 00:36:41,884
But he was only supposed to use
the lotion for two months,
855
00:36:41,885 --> 00:36:44,520
not decades,
and he turned himself blue,
856
00:36:44,521 --> 00:36:47,390
which is a long-term side effect
of overuse.
857
00:36:47,391 --> 00:36:49,458
You have to stop using it.
858
00:36:49,459 --> 00:36:51,394
I liked being blue.
859
00:36:51,395 --> 00:36:53,496
It became my identity.
860
00:36:54,531 --> 00:36:57,166
Gave me a place in this town.
861
00:36:57,167 --> 00:36:59,768
I wasn't the freak anymore.
862
00:36:59,769 --> 00:37:03,272
I was a... mascot.
863
00:37:03,273 --> 00:37:06,609
At least I made my pie!
864
00:37:06,610 --> 00:37:09,945
- If I'm out, so's he!
- Oh, my God.
865
00:37:09,946 --> 00:37:11,847
It is moments
like these that remind us
866
00:37:11,848 --> 00:37:15,451
why we are alive
and why we bake pies.
867
00:37:15,452 --> 00:37:17,619
And what about you,
Louisa? Wh-what's in yours?
868
00:37:17,620 --> 00:37:19,154
Oh, uh, nothing.
869
00:37:19,155 --> 00:37:20,656
I mean, I mean, nothing
that could hurt her.
870
00:37:20,657 --> 00:37:22,258
But didn't you say you had
a new baking trick
871
00:37:22,259 --> 00:37:23,559
up your sleeve? What was it?
872
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,994
I-I soaked the blueberries
in spinach water
873
00:37:24,995 --> 00:37:26,428
for 24 hours before baking.
874
00:37:26,429 --> 00:37:28,331
I read about it
in an old French cookbook.
875
00:37:28,332 --> 00:37:29,699
It's supposed to keep
the berries sweet,
876
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:31,400
but I promised I grew
the spinach myself
877
00:37:31,401 --> 00:37:33,135
and I didn't break any rules.
I never break any rules.
878
00:37:33,136 --> 00:37:34,437
Well, fresh blueberries
in cold water
879
00:37:34,438 --> 00:37:35,938
would absorb a massive amount
of calcium
880
00:37:35,939 --> 00:37:37,573
and oxalate from fresh spinach,
881
00:37:37,574 --> 00:37:39,609
and her old blood thinners would
have reacted negatively,
882
00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:42,211
but I switched her to
a new medication, so that--
883
00:37:42,212 --> 00:37:43,445
She didn't take
the new medication
884
00:37:43,446 --> 00:37:45,147
because it was too expensive.
885
00:37:45,148 --> 00:37:47,149
She's still on
the old blood thinner.
886
00:37:47,150 --> 00:37:48,417
I knew
I should have called you.
887
00:37:48,418 --> 00:37:49,919
The ambulance is almost here.
888
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,553
- It's the spinach.
- Oh, no.
889
00:37:51,554 --> 00:37:53,322
She needs a shot of heparin.
She's gonna be okay.
890
00:37:53,323 --> 00:37:54,923
Let's just sit her up.
891
00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:56,826
I'm glad she's gonna be okay,
but I can't.
892
00:37:56,827 --> 00:37:58,827
- Over here. Over here.
- This way, this way...
893
00:37:58,828 --> 00:38:02,632
I just can't believe
that I won the...
894
00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:06,401
I actually won.
895
00:38:06,402 --> 00:38:09,472
Well, I guess you'll be making
my favorites all month.
896
00:38:09,473 --> 00:38:12,141
Fried chicken, and
mac and cheese, and that--
897
00:38:12,142 --> 00:38:13,443
- Stop talking.
- What?
898
00:38:13,444 --> 00:38:14,843
Gregory Denise Garrison,
899
00:38:14,844 --> 00:38:16,846
did you just tell Bert
that we would,
900
00:38:16,847 --> 00:38:18,547
well, I would make
his favorite meals
901
00:38:18,548 --> 00:38:19,982
if you won the pie contest?
902
00:38:19,983 --> 00:38:22,184
Oh, wait, wait.
It's not over yet, folks.
903
00:38:22,185 --> 00:38:23,852
No, of course not.
I would never.
904
00:38:23,853 --> 00:38:27,823
I mean, I may have mentioned
as a joke
905
00:38:27,824 --> 00:38:30,593
that we would cater
to his tastes for a bit,
906
00:38:30,594 --> 00:38:32,928
and if I were to place
in the contest,
907
00:38:32,929 --> 00:38:35,597
I may have pointed out
which pie was mine.
908
00:38:35,598 --> 00:38:39,535
I don't know.
This contest makes me crazy.
909
00:38:39,536 --> 00:38:41,604
Well, Sarah is on her way
to the hospital.
910
00:38:41,605 --> 00:38:43,439
Doc Martin says
she's going to be fine,
911
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,274
but if I'm not mistaken,
912
00:38:45,275 --> 00:38:47,477
there is one last twist
in the pie judging,
913
00:38:47,478 --> 00:38:49,311
and, yes, here it comes.
914
00:38:49,312 --> 00:38:52,014
Gregory Garrison, you are
summarily disqualified
915
00:38:52,015 --> 00:38:55,051
from the competition
for unscrupulous behavior.
916
00:38:55,052 --> 00:38:56,085
We will talk tonight.
917
00:38:56,086 --> 00:38:57,787
He is out, Greg is gone,
918
00:38:57,788 --> 00:39:00,790
and like a phoenix rising
from the ashes.
919
00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:04,427
Which means
the official and final winner
920
00:39:04,428 --> 00:39:06,128
of this year's
Annual Port Wenn
921
00:39:06,129 --> 00:39:07,697
Blueberry Pie Making Contest
is...
922
00:39:07,698 --> 00:39:10,332
Can you believe what we are
seeing here today?
923
00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,868
Louisa Gavin.
924
00:39:13,169 --> 00:39:15,037
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
925
00:39:15,038 --> 00:39:18,541
Oh, my God!
926
00:39:18,542 --> 00:39:19,708
Yeah!
927
00:39:19,709 --> 00:39:21,577
Wait, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
928
00:39:21,578 --> 00:39:23,579
We have to get Sarah
to the hospital.
929
00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:26,649
No, no, you stay.
She'll be fine.
930
00:39:26,650 --> 00:39:28,051
You did it.
931
00:39:28,052 --> 00:39:29,752
You deserve this, you won.
932
00:39:35,992 --> 00:39:38,895
Oh, I, uh...
933
00:39:46,670 --> 00:39:47,904
Oh!
934
00:39:52,476 --> 00:39:55,311
- Stop!
- Stop!
935
00:39:55,312 --> 00:39:58,614
Ah!
936
00:39:58,615 --> 00:40:01,684
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh!
937
00:40:12,929 --> 00:40:14,631
Did I scare you?
938
00:40:18,002 --> 00:40:19,469
Yes.
939
00:40:22,406 --> 00:40:24,306
I don't like the idea
940
00:40:24,307 --> 00:40:26,676
of being in this stupid town
without you.
941
00:40:28,545 --> 00:40:31,781
And if you couldn't afford
the new medication,
942
00:40:31,782 --> 00:40:33,048
you should have told me.
943
00:40:33,049 --> 00:40:35,652
I'm sorry, Martin, I just...
944
00:40:37,387 --> 00:40:39,722
I was so annoyed because...
945
00:40:42,526 --> 00:40:45,761
I thought you were
coming for lunch,
946
00:40:45,762 --> 00:40:47,263
but you didn't.
947
00:40:49,065 --> 00:40:51,600
And I just...
948
00:40:51,601 --> 00:40:54,037
I'm just trying to make up
for lost time.
949
00:40:55,038 --> 00:40:56,272
I just wanna--
950
00:40:56,273 --> 00:40:57,907
You wanna spend more time
with me?
951
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:00,510
Yeah.
952
00:41:03,613 --> 00:41:05,848
Well...
953
00:41:05,849 --> 00:41:09,551
I may have rejected the role
of pie judge,
954
00:41:09,552 --> 00:41:13,289
but I will accept the role
of your nephew.
955
00:41:13,290 --> 00:41:16,058
And you can be
my weekly lunch date.
956
00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:18,160
Guaranteed.
957
00:41:18,161 --> 00:41:19,596
Twice a week.
958
00:41:20,898 --> 00:41:22,564
Provided you follow lunch
959
00:41:22,565 --> 00:41:25,267
with a brisk walk of
at least 10,000 steps.
960
00:41:25,268 --> 00:41:27,202
- Ten thousand steps?
- Mm-hmm.
961
00:41:27,203 --> 00:41:30,440
And no more fried cod.
962
00:41:30,441 --> 00:41:33,176
Hello. Would anyone care
for tonight's dessert?
963
00:41:33,177 --> 00:41:34,944
Ice cream.
964
00:41:40,350 --> 00:41:42,051
Nope.
965
00:41:44,121 --> 00:41:45,655
Oh.