1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,995 This is Willowbrook, 4 00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:39,289 the littlest town with the biggest heart 5 00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:41,374 right here in the center of Kansas. 6 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,501 You know, I know everybody in this town, 7 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:45,170 and I know all their stories. 8 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,505 But no story is crazier 9 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:52,135 than the story of Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. 10 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,363 Hey, Ollie. 11 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,781 And that's Gail right there. 12 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,201 She's a shining light around these parts. 13 00:01:57,827 --> 00:02:00,245 You know, I don't like playing favorites with people in the town 14 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:01,704 but fuck it, I don't give a shit. 15 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:02,789 Gail's my favorite. 16 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,040 And in just a couple of weeks, 17 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,835 we're all gonna be gathering to go to her wedding to Tom, 18 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,253 her high school sweetheart. 19 00:02:08,254 --> 00:02:10,005 - Hi, Frank. - Morning! 20 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,800 - And as for me, well, my name is Frank. -Hey, Frank! 21 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,761 If you haven't figured it out from context, what I do for a living, 22 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,931 maybe this big bag of mail will help clue you in. 23 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:20,974 Still stumped? 24 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,518 Well, let me give you another little hint. 25 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:24,770 I'm a mailman. 26 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,106 Think you got it now? But enough about me. 27 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,941 This story's really about Gail. 28 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:32,360 There's a tornado brewing on the horizon, 29 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,737 and it all starts with an innocent conversation 30 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,406 at the hair salon where she works 31 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,116 - with her best friend, Otto. -Hi. 32 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,076 - Good morning! - Hello! Hi, honey! 33 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,161 Hi, Ronald! Sorry I'm late! 34 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,080 Gail, sweetie, we're just talking about 35 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,374 the celebrity free pass. Who's yours? 36 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,584 - Celebrity free pass? - Yeah. 37 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:48,710 - What's that? - Oh, you know, 38 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,754 it's like, uh, each member of a couple gets one celebrity that, 39 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,840 given the chance, they could have sex with. 40 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,757 Ah! 41 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,301 Right? And the other one gives them a free pass to do so. 42 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:57,844 Mine is Liam Neeson. 43 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,096 - Oh. - Because I suspect in the bedroom, 44 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,265 he has a particular set of skills. 45 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,684 Oh, you're bad! 46 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,395 Tom is obviously my celebrity pass. 47 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,398 After all, he was the starting quarterback on the Wildcats. 48 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,610 Okay, but if you had to pick someone who was not your boyfriend? 49 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,987 - He's my fiancé, Otto. - Oh. 50 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:19,157 I finally got him to buy the cow after giving him all my milk for free. 51 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:21,367 - Take that, Mom! - Honey, don't I know it? 52 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,453 I mean, I am gonna be standing right by your side, 53 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:27,123 absolutely sobbing like I'm watching Schindler's List for the 12th time. 54 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,750 I thought you only watched it 11 times. 55 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,001 I watched it again last night. 56 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,211 Anyway, I gotta get myself a fancy suit for the big day 57 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,297 when I'm in LA this weekend. 58 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,214 - That's right! - Mm-hmm. 59 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,926 You're going to the West Coast Hairstyling Expo. 60 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,093 I'm really jealous of you. 61 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,346 Oh, well, get ready to be mucho jealous. 62 00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:44,307 "Mucho jealous"? Look at you. 63 00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,726 - Sprinkling a little Spanish in there? - Mm. 64 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,978 Who knew that you were bilingual? 65 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,563 Uh, honey, I'm bi-everything. 66 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,648 Biweekly? 67 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:53,107 - Okay, you got me. - Got you. 68 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,361 Anyway, my point is, guess who's gonna be at the expo? 69 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,279 - Who? - Hairstyling guru... 70 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,615 Wait for it. 71 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,158 Remy Fontaine. 72 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,701 Remy Fontaine is gonna be there? 73 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,328 - That's right! - Remy Fontaine! 74 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,705 King of the whip curl Remy Fontaine? 75 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,499 His Royal Highness himself. 76 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,710 - I'm even more jealous. - Mm-hmm. 77 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,505 I've never been to California. I've never even been out of the state. 78 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,799 Honey, why don't you come with me? 79 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,133 Quick three-day trip. 80 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,886 We'll hobnob with all the Hollywood stars 81 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,513 at the Universal CityWalk. 82 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,515 Ugh. I can't, there's so much going on here. 83 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,351 I'm forcing Tom to drive me into the city to go to a book signing later 84 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,770 and the wedding's in two weeks, so... 85 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,230 Los Angeles sounds amazing. 86 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:33,731 Doesn't it, Ronald? 87 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,441 Los Angeles? Ugh. 88 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,986 - Too many people there. -Yeah, that's what Ronald said. 89 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,696 And as for the free pass thing, 90 00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:41,823 the only celebrity I've ever had a crush on 91 00:04:41,824 --> 00:04:43,908 is a certain Wildcats head cheerleader. 92 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:44,993 Oh, that's sweet. 93 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,329 You've always been the bagel under and on top of my cream cheese. 94 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,665 Aw. But if you did have to pick a celebrity... 95 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,542 Tilda Swinton. She'd be my pass. 96 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,584 Oh. 97 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,044 - What about you? - I don't know. 98 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,713 Honestly, I never thought about it. 99 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:58,256 Well, what about Jon Hamm? 100 00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,382 Didn't you think about him 101 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,467 when you used to use the handheld shower head? 102 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,302 When I was like 16... 103 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,512 through 19. 104 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,098 Now I really regret telling you that. 105 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,433 We're never getting stoned again. 106 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:10,477 Oof. Fine by me. It's too expensive. 107 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:12,186 Anyway, that's perfect. 108 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,855 Jon Hamm's your celebrity pass. 109 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,690 Okay. Can we move on now? 110 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,110 - Anything for my bagel. - Thank you, my cream cheese! 111 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,237 "Chop one medium-sized onion. 112 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,363 "Fine. 113 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,949 "Chop one stalk of celery. 114 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,326 "Fine. Chop two cloves of garlic. 115 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,162 "Add one pound of ground beef..." 116 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,788 She's incredible. 117 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,833 No, you're not wrong. Color me impressed. 118 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,335 "Salt and pepper to taste. 119 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,424 "Enjoy with one to two glasses of tap water." 120 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,051 Wow. 121 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:46,137 - Aw, thank you. - Whoo-hoo! 122 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,472 Yeah. Just... 123 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,057 - Thank you so much. -Hi. 124 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:51,726 Thank you so much for coming. 125 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,019 Appreciate it so much. 126 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,480 Oh, hi. I'm Gail. I'm such a big fan of yours. 127 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:57,732 And not just of the cookbook. I've seen your acting on TV, 128 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:58,858 - and the movies... - Thank you. 129 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,069 - ...even before The Morning Show. - That's so sweet. 130 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,821 Sorry, where are my manners? This is my fiancé, Tom. 131 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,281 I've never seen any of your stuff. 132 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,824 We're getting married on the 27th. 133 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,619 Oh, you're so cute. I'm gonna do something special for you. 134 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,871 - You are? - Yes. Yes, I am. 135 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,584 Oh, I won't cheat. 136 00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,128 Mm-hmm. 137 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:19,797 Yep. 138 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,589 She smells so good. 139 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,591 Okay. 140 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,261 - Enjoy that. - Thank you so much. 141 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,472 You're so welcome. 142 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,848 Oh, my gosh! 143 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,851 She's even nicer in person than she is in the cookbook. 144 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,063 I have to admit, I never felt one way or the other about her. 145 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,981 But you were right. She's fantastic. 146 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,858 - She's got a new fan. - Yeah? 147 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,402 Oh, you gonna change your celebrity pass to Jennifer Aniston? 148 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,403 You know what? 149 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,947 Yeah, sure. Why not? 150 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,365 Okay, Jennifer Aniston, it is. 151 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:50,076 But that means if you meet Tilda Swinton somewhere, 152 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,411 you have to keep your hands to yourself. 153 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,539 Got it. If Tilda Swinton knocks on the door 154 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:57,041 and wants to hop in the sack, I'm gonna tell her, "Not today, Tilda." 155 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,252 Not today! 156 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,504 - Do you remember where we parked the car? - Yeah, it's that way. 157 00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,381 Your fiancé remembers everything. 158 00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,050 - Ah! Except my keys. - Oh. 159 00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,593 Which are in my jacket, which I left inside. 160 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,845 - Okay. - I'm sorry. 161 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,514 - That's fine! Okay. - Give me two minutes. 162 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,476 Okay. Scrambled eggs, butter toast, pancakes. 163 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,311 Just add water. That sounds so good. 164 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,813 Instant oatmeal with honey. 165 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,482 Bagel with cream cheese. "Bagel with cream cheese." 166 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:22,567 Where is he? 167 00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,403 Sir! Sir? 168 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:25,987 Hi. Excuse me, sir. 169 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,240 My fiancé came back here over an hour ago. 170 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,910 Tom? Hello? 171 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,370 - Try here. - Thank you so much. 172 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,288 Hello? 173 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,414 Oh, yeah. Yeah, right there. 174 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,541 So, what do you think? We start with season one, or... 175 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,626 Yeah, sure. I'll have my assistant get you the DVDs. 176 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,670 Tom? 177 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,299 Gail! I was just about to text you. 178 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,635 I thought you were looking for your coat. But you're... 179 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,344 You're... 180 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:53,014 Gail, this was my one free pass. Remember earlier? 181 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,349 You took it literally? 182 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,435 Hold on. I'm getting a little worried here. 183 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:58,937 Just a second. Uh, you know, um... 184 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,147 Tom said that you were okay with this. 185 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,858 I mean, otherwise, I would have never done it, you know? 186 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,444 I mean, I respect your commitment way too much. 187 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,486 Tom, you said she was okay with this. 188 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,988 Yes, we talked about this before. 189 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,531 So, what's happening? I don't understand. 190 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,617 Gail, please tell Jennifer Aniston about the free pass. 191 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:14,285 - Please call me Jen. - This is not happening. 192 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,746 I just came in to get my jacket and I couldn't find it. 193 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,497 Yeah. And then I saw him really distraught, 194 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,166 so I thought, "Okay, let me help him." 195 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,959 And then I thought, "This is a really special guy." 196 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,461 - Aw. - And, well, you would know. 197 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:24,962 I mean, you're marrying him. 198 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,173 And then he told me about the celebrity pass, 199 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,925 and I thought, "Well, what the hell?" 200 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,760 We're right here. Why not? 201 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,929 Be a great story for you guys to tell at your wedding. 202 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,597 Fun half hour for me. 203 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:37,767 But you know what? I'm a very instinctual person, 204 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:41,521 and I'm kind of really getting the idea that you're super not into this. 205 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,610 I am so glad you changed your mind. 206 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:50,571 I thought it was like a silly little exercise. 207 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:54,408 Not literal license to have sex with Rachel from Friends. 208 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,785 Forget about him, Gail. 209 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:57,954 We're gonna have so much fun in LA this weekend. 210 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,038 Yeah. 211 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,457 -What's in here? - Those are all just hairbrushes. 212 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,085 I'm a... I'm a hairstylist. 213 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,046 Don't worry. I'm... I'm cool. 214 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,882 I have a steel plate in my head, 215 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,760 and I have the paperwork from my doctor right here. 216 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,845 Yeah, I had an accident with a piñata. 217 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:17,223 You think I look bad? You should see the piñata. 218 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,101 All right, Universal CityWalk. Bubba Gump Shrimp. Whoo! 219 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,619 Welcome to Los Angeles. 220 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,747 For your safety, please be aware of mudslides... 221 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,249 Hi. My name is Gail. 222 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,917 ...and earthquakes. 223 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,003 Uh, listen, there's no flowery way to say this. 224 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,964 I have to take a mondo shit, so I'll be back in a sec. 225 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,632 Mm. 226 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,932 Come on, there's no chance that's him. 227 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,267 - Oh, my God. - It is him. 228 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,394 Oh, my God. 229 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,271 Mr. Henry Winkler. We are huge fans. 230 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,273 - Thank you so much. - Oh, my... Otto! 231 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,733 Mr. Winkler, hey, look, look, look. 232 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,068 - I have a tattoo of your face! -Looks just like me. 233 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,529 Yeah, I got this when I was stupid drunk in Key West. 234 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,488 No regrets, Mr. Winkler. 235 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,531 - No regrets. - Otto! 236 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,450 -Can we get a photo? - It would be my pleasure. 237 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,784 - Really? - Come on, come on. 238 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,328 Yeah? Let's do it quickly. 239 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:21,412 I got a plane to catch. 240 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,955 Do you want me to take the picture? 241 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,999 Oh, yeah. Just step over here. 242 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,043 Lighting is everything. Here we go. 243 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,211 Happy Days. Night Shift. Arrested Development. 244 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,213 - Barry. - Hey, those are my credits. 245 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,673 Henry frickin' Winkler! 246 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:33,924 I have a plane. 247 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,134 - Thank you, thank you. - Okay. 248 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,260 - Thank you, young lady. - Thank you so much. 249 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,346 -I'm a big fan. - Thank you. 250 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,597 - Hey! - Hey! 251 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,557 Yeah, I used to say that. 252 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,726 Thank you. Take care, guys. 253 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,603 Wow! And they say never meet your heroes. 254 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:48,105 - What a mensch. - Oh! Unbelievable. 255 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,483 Hey, what are you... Don't put the case down. 256 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,318 We lose this, we're dead men. 257 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,611 Well, sometimes we make exceptions 258 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:54,945 to even the most important rules... 259 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,531 ...when celebrities are involved. 260 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,909 Sorry. I spaced for a second. Can you repeat that, please? 261 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,328 I said, sometimes we make exceptions 262 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,248 to even the most important rules when celebrities are involved. 263 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:06,999 Hey. 264 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,085 I just saw my first Hollywood celebrity. 265 00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:11,045 No way. Who? Give me a hint. 266 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,421 - Jewish. - Henry Winkler. 267 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,798 - Yes! - Yes! 268 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,633 Oh, my God! Wow! 269 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:18,762 Okay. We are definitely in Hollywood now, huh? Wow. 270 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,264 Welcome to LAX... 271 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,019 Get in. 272 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,567 Has the briefcase left your person at any time? 273 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,113 Um... Pardon me. 274 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,030 We don't speak Italian. 275 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,908 Okay, so I ask again. 276 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:44,412 Has the briefcase left your person at any time? 277 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:47,832 Sorry, you said, "I ask again," but to be fair, 278 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,167 this is the first time we're hearing the question 279 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,585 in a language we understand. 280 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,254 And, no, I assure you, 281 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:56,424 I've had the case by my side the entire trip. 282 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,883 Mm. 283 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,970 You know, as a teenager, 284 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,472 I dreamed of only two things. 285 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,892 The first was to rid myself of what was, at that time, 286 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,478 a truly horrible case of acne. 287 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,646 Oh. 288 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:16,694 The second dream was to dismantle the corrupt global financial system, 289 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:22,283 leaving in its place a storm of chaos and anarchy. 290 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:24,410 I mean, go big or go home, right? 291 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,745 Dream number one was realized 292 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,082 by the time I was 19. 293 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,751 - See? See? Look. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 294 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,836 -Beautiful. - All clear. 295 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,963 - Like a porcelain doll. - Like a freshly peeled egg. 296 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,715 But dream number two... 297 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:40,801 Well, technically, it might be dream number three 298 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,346 because there was a short time when dream number two 299 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:48,184 was to sing an aria from La Bohème at La Scala. 300 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,351 - Wow. - Oh, holy shmoly. 301 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,188 But that was a lot of, you know... 302 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,565 When push came to shove, I wanted a social life. 303 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,525 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm. Yeah. 304 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,027 So dream... 305 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:02,865 Let's call it dream number three had remained just that, a dream. 306 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,617 The one about dismantling the financial system. 307 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,369 That's the one. 308 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:09,914 A lifetime of sacrifice, 309 00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:11,249 pain and sorrow 310 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:15,128 has led me to what's inside this case. 311 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,173 My dream, number three. 312 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,799 - What a journey. - Amazing. 313 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,437 - That's you. - You want me to... 314 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,813 Yep. 315 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,566 Are you quite sure 316 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,362 you never let go of my case? 317 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:41,988 Quite sure. 318 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,658 I would bet my life on it. 319 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:49,203 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 320 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,163 Oh, my Lord! 321 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,915 Sergio, can you explain this? 322 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,501 Thinking... Thinking more carefully... 323 00:13:55,502 --> 00:14:00,756 Yes, there was a moment at the airport where he put down the case. 324 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,132 I was very mad. 325 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:05,553 But, yes, he put it down. I was very mad at you. Uh... 326 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:08,682 - "Gail Daughtry, hairdresser." -God. 327 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,059 Find this little bug 328 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,561 and bring my briefcase back to me! 329 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,979 Again, I... 330 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,188 You know what? 331 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,066 I think... I think I get the sentiment. 332 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,026 You want... You want me to find the... 333 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,237 You want me to find the girl and then get... 334 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,780 - Then get the case back? - Now! 335 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,073 Yes! Yes! Yes! 336 00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:34,290 We're not in Kansas anymore. 337 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,083 Yeah. Right? 338 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,960 Welcome to the City of Angels, folks... 339 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,170 - Whoo! - ...where the streets are paved with gold. 340 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,214 Oh, thank you. My name is Gail. 341 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,340 - This is... - No, no. 342 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,758 Names are not necessary. 343 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,719 All I need is a destination. 344 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,055 Yeah. The Sunset Grandeur Hotel. 345 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,558 - 3225... - 3225 Hollywood Boulevard. I know it well. 346 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,643 Hmm. 347 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,395 Now, I'll give you a little piece of advice 348 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,938 I give everyone when they arrive. 349 00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:59,982 A lot of people come into town thinking overnight 350 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,859 they're gonna be the next Elizabeth Perkins. 351 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,444 But let me tell you something. 352 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,864 Liz Perkins did not become Tom Hanks' love interest in Big 353 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,574 - right off the bat. -Hmm. 354 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,327 And you can't do what Liz Perkins does. 355 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,911 You gotta be you! 356 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,079 There's only one Liz Perkins, 357 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,334 and her name happens to be Elizabeth Perkins. 358 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,501 You know what? I'm very tired. 359 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,254 Do you mind if I pull over, take a quick power nap? 360 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,423 Can you not make it? 361 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,841 You know what? I can power through. 362 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,843 I'll power... I can do it. I can power through. 363 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,553 Everyone is such a character 364 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:30,555 - in this town, huh? - Yeah. 365 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:34,433 Did you deliver the case? There was a problem. 366 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,020 The boss was not happy, so she, uh... 367 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,272 She killed Marco right in front of my face. 368 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,026 Oh. God. I'm so sorry, Sergio. 369 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,362 I need to find this Gail Daughtry, 370 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,031 or Ludovica's gonna kill me, too. 371 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:51,326 Yeah, we'll find this "Gail." 372 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,455 And as much as we mourn the loss of Marco... 373 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,915 we'll celebrate the life he led, huh? 374 00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,249 Yeah, his life was cut short 375 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,877 but he was lucky to be one of the very few 376 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,713 to count Mr. Henry Winkler as one of his good friends. 377 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,298 - Huh? - Oh! 378 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,174 I buried the lede. 379 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,301 We met Henry friggin' Winkler at LAX! 380 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,594 - No shit? - Yeah. 381 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,304 - Vinnie Barbarino. - One and the same. 382 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:15,974 Here we go. Gail Daughtry. 383 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,685 Arrived at LAX this morning. 384 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,061 Leaving Sunday. 385 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,313 No hotel reservations. 386 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,149 - We have to find that case. - Let me tell you something. 387 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,360 We are gonna find the case, 388 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:31,115 and Gail Daughtry is gonna get a bullet in the back of the brain. 389 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,250 Here we are. 390 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,585 Right by the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 391 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,753 Now keep your eyes peeled, 392 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,382 - because Liz Perkins could be anywhere. - Oh. 393 00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,843 This place is incredible. 394 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,177 It really is. 395 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,304 There's Remy Fontaine! 396 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,348 Okay, you do know he created the whip curl, right? 397 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,516 Yes. What? Of course. 398 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,893 I'm as much of a Fontaine junkie as you are. 399 00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:00,895 I'm just making sure. 400 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,147 Okay, we have you for two nights. 401 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,982 I can put you in a room on the top floor. 402 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,651 Hey, hey, hey. Top floor. Fancy. 403 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:09,194 Just tell me that you have an elevator? 404 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,529 Honey, this is Hollywood. 405 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,115 Almost every hotel has an elevator. 406 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,533 - Unbelievable. - Wow. 407 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,368 Now, your room won't be ready for an hour. 408 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,619 We can hold your bags, 409 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:21,331 and you can take a walk down the one and only Hollywood Boulevard. 410 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,000 Oh, my goodness. 411 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,294 I can't wait. Where do we even start? 412 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,505 Oh! I'll show you my list of must-see destinations. 413 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,425 -Okay. - Here is a killer burger joint. 414 00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,552 -Mm! - And the best coffee shop 415 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,304 this side of the Mason-Dixon Line... 416 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,514 right here. 417 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:40,726 Now, if you wanna do some shopping, cosmetics, stuff for around the house, 418 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,688 head here and ask them to show you all their different gums. 419 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,901 -Ah. - Or if... getting your dick sucked 420 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,320 is more your speed, head here, 421 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,655 go around back behind the dumpster. 422 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,450 Ask for Glenn Stein. He's the best. 423 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:59,036 Okay! Well, what the heck are we waiting for? 424 00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,038 Yeah! 425 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:09,088 -Mm. - Mm! 426 00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,258 Can you show us your gums? 427 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,511 Wow. 428 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,805 -Good luck. - Okay. 429 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,726 Ah! 430 00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,979 It's Tom. Should I pick up? 431 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,439 - Ew. Don't. - I'll just say... 432 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,024 No, take your space. There's really nothing to say. 433 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,234 Hey, what do you want? 434 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,903 Hey, we need to tell the caterers by Monday if we're canceling. 435 00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,155 Otherwise, we lose our entire deposit. 436 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,657 It's a lot of money, Gail. 437 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,284 Well, maybe you should ask your good friend Jennifer Aniston. 438 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,411 She could afford to cover the cost, I would think. 439 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,330 Yeah. Maybe she can cater it with her pussy, Tom. 440 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:44,915 - You could just eat that. - Yeah, eat that! 441 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,208 - Okay? Goodbye. - No, don't... 442 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:47,417 I hung up on him. 443 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:48,877 Okay. That's my Gail. 444 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,171 Gal. Girl. Good for you, doll. 445 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,506 Yeah, good for me. 446 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,050 Oh. This could be fun. 447 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,511 - Do you wanna get a psychic reading? - Mm... 448 00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:58,971 - Why? - I mean, I'm all for fun, 449 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,181 but it looks a little nasty, doesn't it? 450 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:03,892 Coming from a guy who just got a blow job, 451 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,019 behind a dumpster in a puddle of I don't know what. 452 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,814 For the record, Glenn said that the puddle was actually filtered water. 453 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,148 - Okay. - But you know, 454 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,693 this psychic stuff, it's all BS, right? 455 00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,695 Yeah, if BS stands for "Best Psychic." Come on. 456 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,154 That would actually be "BP." 457 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,448 Okay, Mr. Harvard Law School. 458 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,951 Hey, I wasn't gonna play that card. 459 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:28,292 - Bingo-bango. There she is. - Yeah, now we just gotta study this photo 460 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,043 for clues as to where it was taken. 461 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,087 Okay, all right, it's outside. 462 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,839 Yeah, it looks like Asia. 463 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,340 -Maybe Japan? - Like the Far East. 464 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,259 Colorful. Spider-Man's there. 465 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,678 - Is that Superman? - Yeah. 466 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,973 Okay, let's be real. This is gonna take a while. 467 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,725 I better put on a pot of coffee. 468 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,809 Hi, I'm Gail... 469 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,853 - It's $20 in advance. - Okay. 470 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,982 Uh, all I have is a ten and two fives. Is that okay? 471 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,484 Yeah. That's a perfectly legitimate way to make $20. 472 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,404 - Okay. - Hmm. 473 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,075 Now, I am looking at you... 474 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,369 ...and I am listening to your spirit. 475 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:08,332 And I am sensing that something is on your mind. 476 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:09,416 Am I correct? 477 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,002 Oh, my God. How did you know that? 478 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:15,380 It is my business to know. Hence the ten and two fives. 479 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,090 But I'd really appreciate it if we could 480 00:20:17,091 --> 00:20:18,425 put the money part of it aside. 481 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,761 Okay, well, I've been trying to forget about this, 482 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:23,347 but you obviously keyed into something. 483 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,765 I'm engaged to be married, 484 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:27,142 and I really, really love my fiancé, Tom. 485 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:30,395 But... something happened, and I don't know what to do. 486 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,106 Let me connect with this. 487 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,485 Hmm. 488 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:39,155 I am sensing you really do love this Tom. 489 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,615 Mm. And he loves you. 490 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,408 - How'd she figure that out? - Shh. 491 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,493 - Otto! - Sorry. 492 00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:47,497 But... you each had an agreement, yes? 493 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,874 To be able to have sex with a certain celebrity, 494 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,542 given the opportunity. 495 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:53,961 Yes, exactly! 496 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:58,423 And Tom went too far with Jennifer Aniston in the back of a bookstore. 497 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,384 Yes. Wow. So what do I do? 498 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:01,927 You need to even the score. 499 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,470 Level the playing field. 500 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:06,556 If you are going to continue your relationship with Tom, 501 00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:10,186 you must have sex with your celebrity crush. 502 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,105 Oh. 503 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,648 Well, that's not gonna happen. 504 00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,608 You don't think Jon Hamm would find you attractive? 505 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,568 I don't... 506 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,278 Damn! I mean, 20 bucks is a bargain, right? 507 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,697 No, I don't... I don't... I don't know. 508 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,116 It's just that sounds like a pretty strange way to... 509 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,576 No. Even if I wanted to, how would I find him? 510 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:29,955 You're in Hollywood. Jon Hamm lives in Hollywood. 511 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,206 This sounds crazy. 512 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,626 Well, sometimes the craziest problems require the craziest solutions. 513 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,714 And sometimes, sister, the craziest solutions... 514 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,049 are the most sane. 515 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:44,261 So, if I wanna repair my relationship with Tom... 516 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:47,681 You must have sex with Jon Hamm. 517 00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:54,021 I don't know, Otto. Do you really think that we should do this? 518 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:55,105 Why not? 519 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:57,024 Remember, Tom gave you a free pass, too. 520 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,026 That's true. 521 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,318 But what about the hair convention? 522 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,862 Oh, honestly, I'm fine. I'm fine. 523 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:04,823 As long as we get back in time for Remy Fontaine's Blow out Blow out. 524 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,158 I mean, conventions come and go. 525 00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,868 How many times do you get to fuck Jon Hamm? 526 00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:09,536 That's a good point. 527 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,079 But where would we even start? 528 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,541 Twenty dollars, you will get a map with the home addresses 529 00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,836 - of all the biggest stars in HollyWeird. -Yeah. 530 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:20,964 The only town in America where if you want a cup of coffee, 531 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:24,885 you've got to make an appointment at the Creative Artists Agency. 532 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,804 - Hi. Excuse me, sir. I'm Gail. - Hi, Gail. 533 00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,848 We would like a map with Jon Hamm's home address. 534 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,934 Are you kidding me, lady? I got stars up the wazoo. 535 00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:34,895 - Perfect. - I got Johnny Carson. 536 00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:37,397 I got Ed McMahon. I got Doc Severinsen. 537 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,107 - You name it. - Okay, how about Jon Hamm? 538 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,400 Ooh. 539 00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,527 No. No, I don't have Jon Hamm. 540 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:45,072 In any other town, I'd say check the phone book. 541 00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:48,033 But in this town, I'd say get yourself an appointment 542 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,077 at the Creative Artists Agency. 543 00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:50,953 Hmm. 544 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:55,625 C-A-A 545 00:22:57,752 --> 00:22:59,252 Hello, I'm Gail. 546 00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:00,378 - Hi. - Hi. 547 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,672 We're here to see Jon Hamm. Is he here? 548 00:23:02,673 --> 00:23:03,965 Oh. Well, no. 549 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,968 But Jon Hamm's agent is Mr. Leo Martin. 550 00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,428 He's actually a good bud of mine. 551 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,430 No, he's not. 552 00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:11,890 You recharged his car once, dipshit. 553 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,892 Ignore him. I can take a message for Leo Martin. 554 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,852 - Who are you guys with? - I'm with my friend Otto. 555 00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,729 Aw. And I'm with my friend Gail. 556 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,314 Okay, great. 557 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,734 I should be able to get this to Leo's desk by Monday. 558 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,986 Oh. No, no, no. That's... That's way too late. 559 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:27,240 - We'll be gone by then. - Sorry. 560 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,908 That's... Thank you. Appreciate it. 561 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:32,994 Hey, we tried. 562 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,579 - But we were so close. - I know. 563 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:36,873 What are we supposed to do? I don't wanna see you cry. 564 00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:38,376 Hey, guys. 565 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,546 As an agent-in-training, I'm really good at assessing situations. 566 00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:45,799 And I can tell that you guys really need to see Jon Hamm before Monday. 567 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,801 - Yes. - Yes. Yes, we have to. 568 00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:49,302 We're only here for the weekend. 569 00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:51,596 I had a celebrity free pass thing with my fiancé, 570 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:52,681 but he took it literally. 571 00:23:52,682 --> 00:23:54,432 So now I need to have sex with Jon Hamm 572 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:56,309 to even out the score and save my relationship. 573 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,854 Gotcha. He did the deed. Now you gotta do the do. 574 00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,021 - Yes. - Exactly. 575 00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:01,357 Can you please help us? 576 00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:03,568 I'll tell you what. You guys, come with me. 577 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:05,610 Excuse me. 578 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,696 - Let me ask you something. - Can I ask you something? 579 00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:09,531 - Have you seen this person? -Not today. 580 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,324 Have you seen these two people? Have you seen this person? 581 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:12,993 - Either of these two? - No, I haven't. 582 00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:15,078 - Sorry. No, I didn't see them. - Charles Boyle. 583 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,955 I get that a lot. Haven't seen them? 584 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,540 - Either one? - Nope. I'm positive. 585 00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:20,375 -Oh, yeah, I've seen those two. - You have? 586 00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:21,377 - Yeah. - Where are they? 587 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:22,961 Hell if I know. 588 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,546 I got a lot of people coming through here all day long. 589 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,174 I can't keep a record of where everybody's heading next, you know? 590 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,843 It's all I can do to keep track of how many maps I got in my pile here. 591 00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:32,721 I mean, how... how many is it? Two? Four? Ten? 592 00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:36,642 I mean, it could even be nine. But that's Hollywood for you. 593 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,978 That's what the, uh, studio bean counters 594 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:43,106 over at Paramount Pictures call "creative accounting." 595 00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:45,358 Well, this is a waste of time. Why don't we get some coffee? 596 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,694 Coffee? You wanna get coffee in this town, 597 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,614 you're gonna need an appointment at the Creative Artists Agency. 598 00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,490 -Okay. - Which, now that I think of it, 599 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:55,035 is exactly where I told your friends to go. 600 00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:57,079 C-A-A 601 00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:00,916 Feast your eyes. Welcome to the backrooms of the entertainment industry, friends, 602 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:02,167 where the real decisions are made, 603 00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:04,211 where entire careers are hatched and destroyed 604 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:06,421 with a control-shift-delete from this room. 605 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:07,756 - Wow. - Hey, check this out. 606 00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:09,883 Robert from Shark Tank. There's blood in the water. 607 00:25:09,884 --> 00:25:11,718 How the hell are you? When are we gonna play golf, huh? 608 00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:13,887 - Uh, please don't speak to me. - You got it, Bobby Business. 609 00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:15,013 Hey, check this out. 610 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:17,308 My mommy made them up for me. I think they're pretty cool. 611 00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:19,726 - Gotta dream big in a place like this. - I like that. 612 00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:22,103 And someday, maybe it's not gonna be CAA anymore. 613 00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:26,024 It's gonna be CA and CA: Creative Artists and Caleb Agency. 614 00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:27,859 I love that! But I'm just checking. 615 00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,486 It's okay for us to be back here? 616 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:32,530 Technically, no, but in this business, it's all about exuding confidence. 617 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,865 You just fake it till you make it. Watch this. 618 00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,034 Hey, Megan. Whazzup? What are you working on here? 619 00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,244 - You got a lot of deals? - No. Stop. 620 00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:38,787 - Don't touch anything on my desk. - Big old deals? 621 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:40,497 Look, we need the 411 622 00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:42,332 on one Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm. 623 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:45,794 Oh! Leo Martin! There's my guy. 624 00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:48,546 Fellas, this is Mr. Leo Martin, agent to the stars. 625 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:51,424 You want guaranteed backend points, you talk to this guy. 626 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:53,344 Hi. Caleb. I charged your car on the 29th. 627 00:25:54,428 --> 00:25:55,512 Nothing? No? 628 00:25:55,513 --> 00:25:57,681 Well, this beautiful bag of bones is Gail, 629 00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:59,391 and this knucklehead is Otto. 630 00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:04,145 Now, Gail over here needs to do the nasty with Mr. Jon Hamm ASAP. 631 00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:06,898 Believe me, it is all on the up and up, Mr. Martin, sir. 632 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:10,485 Yeah, don't worry. We're not like crazy-stalker fans or anything like that. 633 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,407 So, what do you say? 634 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,326 I am so, so sorry that we got you fired. 635 00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:19,786 I am literally so stupid. 636 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:22,539 I'm literally so stupid for thinking that I could be an agent. 637 00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:24,332 I just don't have the mentality for it! 638 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:27,211 And what am I gonna tell my mommy? 639 00:26:27,712 --> 00:26:29,170 - Um... - Ask him. 640 00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:30,797 Caleb, is there any way 641 00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:33,049 that you could just drop us off at the hotel? 642 00:26:33,050 --> 00:26:35,593 - Yeah. - Thank you. 643 00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:36,761 - Thanks. -I could do that. 644 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:41,641 Or I could give you a lift straight to Mr. Jon Hamm's house 645 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:45,937 because I swiped the address from Megan's desk. 646 00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:48,356 Caleb, you beautiful son of a bitch. 647 00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:50,191 -What? - Yeah! 648 00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:51,818 Are you kidding me? 649 00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,154 You tired? 650 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,697 Yeah. I'm always tired. 651 00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:56,907 Always tired, yeah. 652 00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,703 This is it, Creative Artists Agency. 653 00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:03,079 I thought it would be a little, uh... 654 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,164 ...fancier or something. 655 00:27:04,165 --> 00:27:05,373 It's the parking garage. 656 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,666 Yay! Wait a minute. 657 00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:08,960 That's her. That's her! 658 00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,629 That's her? Hey! Hey! 659 00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,007 - Wait... - I'm not gonna run after a car. 660 00:27:14,008 --> 00:27:16,801 What the... You nuts? There's a stop sign up there. 661 00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:18,512 - Then you run after the car. - Fine! 662 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:21,014 Okay. No. Screw it. I'm not gonna run after the car. 663 00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:22,307 No, you're not gonna run after the car. 664 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:23,767 - We're parked this way. - Okay. 665 00:27:30,024 --> 00:27:32,276 Oh, wow! Okay. 666 00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,030 We should be quiet. 667 00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,493 Well, what are you waiting for, Gail? Buzz him. 668 00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:43,162 Buzz him? I hardly know him. 669 00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:51,294 "Buzz him. I hardly know him." 670 00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:52,296 We're too funny. 671 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,840 Hilarious jokes aside, 672 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:59,302 do you think celebrities normally let in strangers with sex requests? 673 00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:00,428 Mm. 674 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:01,596 That's a good point. 675 00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,973 I think we need to get you on the other side of that gate 676 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:05,809 so that Hamm Dog can see you face-to-face. 677 00:28:05,810 --> 00:28:07,937 Mm-hmm. Then he'll have to fuck you. 678 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:15,694 I have an idea. 679 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:17,947 Take your clothes off. 680 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,740 I got your butt! 681 00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:22,492 Oh, shoot. Whoa! 682 00:28:22,493 --> 00:28:23,576 Nice and slow. 683 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,786 -I got a foothold. - Okay. 684 00:28:24,787 --> 00:28:26,454 Just climb over and we'll slowly 685 00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:27,539 - lower you down. -We got you. 686 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:28,623 Wait, wait, wait! 687 00:28:31,419 --> 00:28:32,461 Whoops. 688 00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,130 - You good? - Ow! 689 00:28:35,131 --> 00:28:37,425 - But yes, I am good. -Okay! 690 00:28:38,717 --> 00:28:41,094 See? Nothing a little clothes rope won't fix. 691 00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:42,429 Turns out it was unlocked. 692 00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:44,597 Look at this place. Wow. 693 00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:46,224 Jon Hamm's done well for himself. 694 00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:49,394 - Wait. How do I look? - Oh, fabulous. 695 00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,646 And that is my professional opinion. 696 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,733 Excuse me! 697 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:03,366 -Excuse me. Who are you? - You're "Weird Al" Yankovic. 698 00:29:03,367 --> 00:29:05,452 Maybe. 699 00:29:05,453 --> 00:29:06,995 Uh, you live with Jon Hamm? 700 00:29:06,996 --> 00:29:10,039 No. I bought this house from him, like, a year ago. 701 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,250 - You guys know Jon? - Not exactly. 702 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,377 Well, how exactly did you get in here? 703 00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:16,087 We made a clothes rope. 704 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:18,631 - Of course! - Out of our clothes. 705 00:29:19,884 --> 00:29:21,218 Told you guys it was a good idea. 706 00:29:22,344 --> 00:29:23,471 You know... 707 00:29:24,013 --> 00:29:25,264 funny thing about Hollywood. 708 00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:27,892 - What's he doing? - What is he gonna... 709 00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:30,435 People think it's a parody. 710 00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,771 Like we're all just playing pretend. 711 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:36,357 Except when it comes to defending our property. 712 00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:37,860 What are we gonna do? 713 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:42,531 Well, well, well. 714 00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,575 Gail and her friends are in a real pickle now. 715 00:29:45,576 --> 00:29:46,952 How are they gonna get out of this one? 716 00:29:47,495 --> 00:29:49,955 They need a clever solution, and they need it fast. 717 00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:52,957 Well, sometimes the best idea 718 00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,711 is the same idea you had a few minutes ago. 719 00:29:56,754 --> 00:29:58,129 I have an idea. 720 00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,423 - Quick, take off your clothes. - Okay! 721 00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:01,674 You people think 722 00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:04,594 just because you bought a ticket to one of my concerts, 723 00:30:04,595 --> 00:30:07,515 you have the right to invade my sanctuary? 724 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,975 Now! Suck it! 725 00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:13,102 My pants! Sweater! 726 00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:14,438 Shirt! More pants! 727 00:30:16,607 --> 00:30:17,858 Run! 728 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:26,658 I'm coming for you! 729 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,334 You okay? 730 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:38,086 Hey! 731 00:30:38,087 --> 00:30:40,296 This is my goddamn tree! Find your own goddamn tree! 732 00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:41,589 Who are you? 733 00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,383 Who am I? Eat me out. That's who I am. 734 00:30:43,384 --> 00:30:44,884 I've been camped out here for two days 735 00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:46,928 trying to get a picture of "Weird Al" Yankovic, 736 00:30:46,929 --> 00:30:48,054 and you guys are blowing my cover! 737 00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:49,973 So sorry. We really didn't mean... 738 00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,683 Aha! There you are! 739 00:30:51,684 --> 00:30:52,892 Run! Run! 740 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:53,893 -Eat it! - Run! Run! 741 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,395 Eat it! 742 00:30:55,396 --> 00:30:57,313 Get yourself an egg and beat it! 743 00:31:03,696 --> 00:31:05,613 - Goddamn it! - Hey! Hey! 744 00:31:05,614 --> 00:31:07,907 Sorry! We did not mean to horn in on your project. 745 00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:09,284 Really, really sorry. 746 00:31:09,285 --> 00:31:12,121 Oh, no, no, no. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, I... 747 00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:16,249 I didn't mean to be so hostile. I... I... I'm not mad at you. 748 00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:17,709 -Huh? - I'm mad at me. 749 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:19,502 - I'm mad at this guy right here. -Oh. 750 00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:22,171 Well, you know what? We played a part in creating that situation, 751 00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:24,299 - and for that we apologize, right, guys? -We do. We were all 752 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:26,467 - very, very stressed out back there. - Yeah. 753 00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:29,220 Please don't patronize me. I know what people think of paparazzi. 754 00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:30,638 You know, that they're these heartless, 755 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:33,933 bottom-feeding scumbags who don't take a shower. And, um... 756 00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,268 that's why I try so hard 757 00:31:35,269 --> 00:31:36,936 to be a nice guy, you know? 758 00:31:36,937 --> 00:31:39,314 And then I just blow my gasket one time, 759 00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:42,066 and all that hard work is shot to shit. 760 00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:43,443 Goddamn it! 761 00:31:43,444 --> 00:31:45,403 Please don't beat yourself up. 762 00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:47,071 Ah. Oh. 763 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:49,365 My car! No! 764 00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:50,784 I'm so stupid! 765 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,786 This is just great. This is just great. 766 00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:55,622 It's like, you know, "Oh. Oh, hi, Mommy. 767 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:57,874 "I'm just calling to let you know that my car got towed, 768 00:31:57,875 --> 00:31:59,000 "and I got fired today. 769 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:00,251 "How was your day? Was it good? 770 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:01,628 "Did you go to the hip-hop class? Was it fun? 771 00:32:01,629 --> 00:32:03,296 "Or did you feel too old and leave halfway through?" 772 00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:04,298 Come here. 773 00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:05,966 Come here. It's okay. 774 00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,551 But hey, look on the bright side. 775 00:32:08,552 --> 00:32:10,261 We got to meet "Weird Al" Yankovic. 776 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:13,056 - Yeah! That's pretty cool, huh? - Right? 777 00:32:13,057 --> 00:32:14,557 And who was that other man? 778 00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:16,225 I... I think that was Penn Jillette. 779 00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:18,019 No shit. Not sure why, but yeah. 780 00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:20,772 -See? - But hey, Gail, I mean, with no car, 781 00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,440 how are we supposed to find Jon Hamm? 782 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:23,567 Wait. 783 00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:25,234 Did you say Jon Hamm? 784 00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:27,528 Yes. I need to find him and sleep with him by Sunday. 785 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,281 - Why? - Hamm... 786 00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:31,825 is my Holy Grail. 787 00:32:33,619 --> 00:32:37,121 2007, I was a wet-behind-the-ears beat photographer 788 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:38,539 at People magazine. 789 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,083 I was the new kid on the block. 790 00:32:40,084 --> 00:32:42,543 But I was good. Real good. 791 00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:43,711 Any celeb you name, 792 00:32:43,712 --> 00:32:46,798 I tracked them down and I got the perfect candid shot. 793 00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:49,467 -What do you got for me? - I got Banks beaching in Baja. 794 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,551 Banks in Baja? 795 00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:52,220 I got Paris pounding a pastrami. 796 00:32:52,221 --> 00:32:53,554 Spears spelunking in Spain. 797 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:55,807 Lohan lounging in Lisbon. Cruise caroling at Christmas. 798 00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:57,433 Tara tanning topless in Tulum. Beyoncé basking in Barbados. 799 00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:58,643 Mary-Kate meditating in Marrakesh. 800 00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,770 I got Schreiber walking his dog. 801 00:33:00,771 --> 00:33:02,146 Yes! 802 00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:04,607 I was on fire. I never once failed. 803 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,025 Around the office they called me 804 00:33:06,026 --> 00:33:09,363 "Mr. Always Gets His Shot, Even When It's a Hard Shot to Get." 805 00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:12,116 It was a mouthful, but it was an accurate description. 806 00:33:12,533 --> 00:33:13,616 Take a look at this. 807 00:33:13,617 --> 00:33:16,536 And then one day, my editor gave me a no-brainer assignment. 808 00:33:16,537 --> 00:33:19,997 Get a candid shot of the star of the new hot show Mad Men. 809 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:23,209 An actor I hadn't heard of by the name of Jon Hamm. 810 00:33:23,210 --> 00:33:26,922 Little did I know he would become my white whale. 811 00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:29,298 - He eluded me. -Hey, hey. No paparazzi. 812 00:33:29,299 --> 00:33:30,258 - Move. - Hey, come on! 813 00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:31,592 Time after time... 814 00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:32,677 Fuck! 815 00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:34,345 ...day after day, 816 00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,681 night after night. 817 00:33:36,849 --> 00:33:39,934 The deadline had come, and I had no clue what I was gonna do. 818 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:41,144 But then... 819 00:33:41,145 --> 00:33:43,146 Hmm? 820 00:33:43,147 --> 00:33:44,355 Talk to me. 821 00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:45,357 He's there right now? 822 00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:47,191 ...a hot tip. 823 00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:50,487 And this time, I wasn't gonna let him get away. 824 00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:53,698 And there he was, 825 00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:55,950 my white male whale. 826 00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:57,410 I got you, you son of a bitch! 827 00:33:57,411 --> 00:33:59,871 This was my moment to lock in my identity 828 00:33:59,872 --> 00:34:03,708 as Mr. Always Gets His Shot, Even Though it's... It was a Hard... 829 00:34:03,709 --> 00:34:04,834 Or something like that. 830 00:34:04,835 --> 00:34:06,127 I hit the button. 831 00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:07,963 But then... nothing. 832 00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:10,840 No film! 833 00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,221 And he was gone. 834 00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,725 Things spiraled after that. Drugs, alcohol, gambling. 835 00:34:20,726 --> 00:34:23,228 Lost my job. Started living out of my car. 836 00:34:23,979 --> 00:34:25,521 Sold my hair for wigs. 837 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,357 It wasn't long after that I started... 838 00:34:28,317 --> 00:34:29,902 selling my wigs for hair. 839 00:34:30,986 --> 00:34:33,696 But the truth is, I lost more than my job that day. 840 00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,698 I lost something in here. 841 00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:38,034 Yeah, I still freelance for a few bucks these days, 842 00:34:38,035 --> 00:34:39,410 but it's been a long time 843 00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:42,622 since the days of Mr. Always Gets His Shot Even When He... 844 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:45,583 Uh, fuck. What was it again? 845 00:34:45,584 --> 00:34:47,376 Even When It Was a Hard Shot to Get. 846 00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:49,755 Yeah. Something like that. 847 00:34:50,923 --> 00:34:51,965 But now, these days... 848 00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:54,175 I always carry a spare roll 849 00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:55,885 - of film with me. -Mm. 850 00:34:55,886 --> 00:34:57,261 But everything's digital now. 851 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,806 It's a reminder, Jacko! 852 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:01,933 To never leave what's important behind. 853 00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:03,101 -Mm-hmm. - Ah. 854 00:35:04,019 --> 00:35:05,645 Anyway, that's my long story short. 855 00:35:06,939 --> 00:35:10,399 - Wasn't that short of a story. - I thought it was a great story, uh... 856 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,109 - Vincent. - Nice to meet you, Vincent. 857 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,694 My name is Gail. This is Otto and Caleb. 858 00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:16,948 Hey, this might sound crazy, 859 00:35:16,949 --> 00:35:19,492 but we could really, really use your know-how 860 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:22,079 in terms of tracking down celebrities. Would you... 861 00:35:23,163 --> 00:35:25,498 wanna come with us to find Jon Hamm? 862 00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:29,962 Well, well, well. 863 00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:34,049 The white whale "weturns." 864 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,801 - What? - "Wet's woll." 865 00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:39,679 Hey. Yes! 866 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:40,930 - Let's go. -This is exciting. 867 00:35:40,931 --> 00:35:42,515 Hey, we're skipping. Look at us. We're skipping. 868 00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:54,777 - My case? - Oh, um... 869 00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:55,820 - Not much luck. - Yet. 870 00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:59,407 But we have some very good leads. 871 00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:04,412 So, you came here to tell me that you don't have my case? 872 00:36:04,413 --> 00:36:06,497 Uh, yeah... Yes, that we did. 873 00:36:06,498 --> 00:36:09,333 And also that we're a little bit hungry, 874 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:11,836 so we thought when in Rome... 875 00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:13,672 - themed restaurant. -Oh. 876 00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:15,924 Sit. 877 00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:19,011 I'm good. I had a snack earlier. 878 00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:24,641 Sergio. 879 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:28,978 - Sergio, Sergio, Sergio. - Thank you. 880 00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:30,104 That's silly. 881 00:36:30,105 --> 00:36:31,647 Oh! Look at this. 882 00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:32,815 - Thank you. -You're hungry. 883 00:36:32,816 --> 00:36:34,650 So maybe you just need to eat! 884 00:36:43,285 --> 00:36:44,577 Come on, everybody. 885 00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:01,510 No, I love Baja. Don't you remember? 886 00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:04,805 People magazine had those photos of me in 2007. 887 00:37:04,806 --> 00:37:08,517 I'm not really feeling Italian all of a sudden. 888 00:37:08,518 --> 00:37:10,228 Let's go to that Thai place near you. 889 00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,313 Okay. 890 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:17,526 Anyone else is hungry? 891 00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:19,236 - No! - We gotta go get the case. 892 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:20,821 - We'll get the case. - Bravi. 893 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,658 Bravi, little monkeys, bravi. 894 00:37:23,659 --> 00:37:25,910 Find that fucking case! 895 00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,210 Our luggage. Come in! 896 00:37:33,794 --> 00:37:38,047 Bobby Snaps. Hey, man, it's Vincent. 897 00:37:38,048 --> 00:37:39,382 I'm gonna cut to the CliffsNotes. 898 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,717 I'm in the market for a Mr. Jonathan Hamm. 899 00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:42,885 Uh, excuse me, sir, 900 00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:44,553 we were actually supposed to have two beds. 901 00:37:44,554 --> 00:37:46,180 I can bring a rollaway, if that would work. 902 00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:48,392 Thank you! Wait. 903 00:37:48,976 --> 00:37:50,768 Let me give you a tip. 904 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:52,812 I don't wanna be on the wrong side of history. 905 00:37:52,813 --> 00:37:55,147 Oh, no. I used all my cash earlier. 906 00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:56,232 Can I use my credit card? 907 00:37:56,233 --> 00:37:57,859 You can use a credit card for anything these days. 908 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:00,070 Only in LA. 909 00:38:01,113 --> 00:38:02,363 - Otto? -Yeah? 910 00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:04,865 How much should I tip him? Like 75 cents? 911 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,660 - These guys live on their tips. - Okay. 912 00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:13,375 - Thanks. -Anytime. 913 00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,377 Anything? 914 00:38:16,378 --> 00:38:17,586 Nothing. 915 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:19,255 She's a goddamn ghost. 916 00:38:20,716 --> 00:38:21,882 Oh, wait. 917 00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:24,135 Sometimes even a ghost 918 00:38:24,136 --> 00:38:25,428 has to come up for air. 919 00:38:25,429 --> 00:38:28,305 Bingo-bango! We got you, Gail Daughtry! 920 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,432 Got you! 921 00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:40,943 Got you! We got you! 922 00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,445 Are you sure he's there? You sure? 923 00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:43,988 - All right, he's there right now? - What? 924 00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:45,364 Okay. Thanks, man! 925 00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,534 Thank you, man! 926 00:38:48,118 --> 00:38:51,912 Uh, who's ready to meet a Mr. Jonathan Daniel Hamm? 927 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:53,205 No way! No way! 928 00:38:53,206 --> 00:38:56,500 I'm ready to do a lot more than meet him! 929 00:38:58,503 --> 00:39:00,254 Oh! Ew! 930 00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,214 - Wait, wait, do you get it? - Yeah. 931 00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,133 Okay, I gotta get dressed. I gotta do my hair. 932 00:39:04,134 --> 00:39:05,135 Right. Okay. 933 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,011 Hey, what are we doing here? 934 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:09,096 We have to hit the road now. We don't wanna miss him. 935 00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,264 Okay, bring your hair stuff with you. 936 00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:12,184 - We'll get you all dolled up on the way. - Okay. 937 00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,061 Yep. I think this is it. 938 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:17,480 Yeah. Over here. 939 00:39:17,481 --> 00:39:18,647 Oh, I forgot to do my hair! 940 00:39:18,648 --> 00:39:20,274 Oh, don't worry about it. You look great. 941 00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,984 That's my professional opinion. 942 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,153 Oh, Otto, what would I do without you? 943 00:39:24,154 --> 00:39:26,031 My guess is you'd be dead. 944 00:39:28,742 --> 00:39:29,825 Huh. 945 00:39:29,826 --> 00:39:30,910 Fuck you! 946 00:39:30,911 --> 00:39:34,413 This is not where I thought a big-time movie star would live. 947 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:36,791 I think he should fire his business manager. 948 00:39:41,963 --> 00:39:43,881 Wait, that's Jon Hamm? 949 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,633 No, that's John Slattery. 950 00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:47,927 He co-starred with Jon Hamm on Mad Men, remember? 951 00:39:47,928 --> 00:39:50,346 Right! He played Roger Sterling. Cool! 952 00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,182 But I thought we were going to Jon Hamm's house. 953 00:39:53,767 --> 00:39:58,604 Hey, this guy is a hell of a lot closer to Jon Hamm than any of us are, okay? 954 00:39:58,605 --> 00:39:59,939 I don't see anybody here 955 00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:02,691 with Hamm's number on their phone computers, do you? 956 00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:04,318 - No one's saying that... - Who says "phone computer"? 957 00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:07,154 Otto, are you good friends with Jon Hamm? No, you're not. 958 00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:09,740 Caleb, are you Jon Hamm's personal fuck buddy? 959 00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:11,700 - What? No. - No, I don't think so, okay? 960 00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:12,910 This is a lead! 961 00:40:12,911 --> 00:40:15,204 What I do every day is to find celebrities, 962 00:40:15,205 --> 00:40:16,872 and this is how I do it! 963 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,874 Okay, fine. You're right. We're sorry. Just calm down. 964 00:40:18,875 --> 00:40:21,335 If it's a dead end, it's a dead end, okay? 965 00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:24,046 Sure, John Slattery hasn't had an acting job in over a decade, 966 00:40:24,047 --> 00:40:26,340 but he worked with Jon Hamm for years, okay? 967 00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:28,134 So what are we gonna do? Not try? 968 00:40:28,135 --> 00:40:29,927 I'm just saying, like, maybe we could take it down a notch. 969 00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:31,554 How about you take it down a notch? 970 00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:33,013 - Vincent. Vincent, look at me! Look at me! - How about you stop? 971 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,682 - You think... - We're all on the same team! 972 00:40:34,683 --> 00:40:36,183 Now, I need you to keep it together. 973 00:40:36,184 --> 00:40:37,685 Okay. I'm sorry, it's just that 974 00:40:37,686 --> 00:40:39,228 these two do-do-do's are pushing my buttons. 975 00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:40,856 - What did you just call me? - It's okay. 976 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:45,317 I'm sorry. I've just been through so much. 977 00:40:45,318 --> 00:40:46,735 I totally get it. 978 00:40:46,736 --> 00:40:48,863 But we gotta keep our eyes on the prize. 979 00:40:48,864 --> 00:40:51,740 Which is slippin' Hamm's D into Gail's V. 980 00:40:51,741 --> 00:40:52,950 Right. 981 00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:57,414 Uh, hello? Hi. 982 00:40:57,873 --> 00:40:58,956 - Stop! - Whoa. 983 00:40:58,957 --> 00:41:01,584 I have the legal right to defend myself against trespassers. 984 00:41:01,585 --> 00:41:03,460 No, no, no, we're not trespassers. We just want... 985 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,462 California Penal Code section 602 would disagree. 986 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:08,340 Entry onto the property of another without permission is trespassing. 987 00:41:08,341 --> 00:41:10,718 I therefore have the legal right to kick your ass 988 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:11,969 and take names never. 989 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,055 Oh! 990 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:17,349 Ow, ow, ow. 991 00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:18,934 -Oops. - Just take it. Take everything. 992 00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:21,687 The key to the safe is in the pantry in a fake soup can. 993 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:22,771 Ow! 994 00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:25,316 I... I think it's the beef barley. 995 00:41:25,317 --> 00:41:27,109 Please, just please don't hurt me. 996 00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:28,652 No, no, we're... we're not here to hurt you. 997 00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:30,571 What are you talking about? You just did! 998 00:41:30,572 --> 00:41:32,656 What'd you do that for? I wasn't doing anything to you. 999 00:41:32,657 --> 00:41:34,283 I was just trying to scare you. 1000 00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:37,036 I'm so sorry. It was just self-defense. 1001 00:41:37,037 --> 00:41:39,747 Well, what are you doing sneaking up on me when I'm in a meeting? 1002 00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:40,831 With who? 1003 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:43,667 A commitment to one's self is as important a meeting as any. 1004 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:44,793 Okay, the truth is, 1005 00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:46,962 we're here because my fiancé's celebrity free pass 1006 00:41:46,963 --> 00:41:48,505 was Jennifer Aniston, and he did it. 1007 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:51,300 So now I need to find my celebrity pass, Jon Hamm. 1008 00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:55,137 - Should have guessed. - Can you help us find him? 1009 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:56,889 Yeah, I could. But I won't. 1010 00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:59,266 Okay. I understand. 1011 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:02,144 You're not the first person to come to me with this kind of a request. 1012 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:04,521 Everybody wants a dicking from J.D.H. 1013 00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:06,982 Back in the day, we used to split up the spoils. 1014 00:42:06,983 --> 00:42:09,735 Sure. Golden Globes after-party, 2007? 1015 00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:11,737 - Forget it. - Uh-huh. 1016 00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:13,949 These days... 1017 00:42:15,784 --> 00:42:17,368 Tell you what I will do. 1018 00:42:17,369 --> 00:42:19,453 Have your friends walk around the block and I'll doink you. 1019 00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:21,163 That's got to still be worth something, right? 1020 00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:24,208 For God's sake, I was in the seventh greatest show of all time, 1021 00:42:24,209 --> 00:42:26,043 according to Rolling Stone magazine. 1022 00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:29,255 And it would have been number one if it weren't for Seinfeld, Fleabag, 1023 00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:31,840 Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Simpsons, and The Sopranos. 1024 00:42:31,841 --> 00:42:34,260 But I don't see Homer Simpson standing here ready to whip it out, 1025 00:42:34,261 --> 00:42:35,844 so, uh, what do you say? 1026 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,179 You wanna finalize this freak-fest? 1027 00:42:37,180 --> 00:42:38,806 That's a very sweet offer, Mr. Slattery. 1028 00:42:38,807 --> 00:42:40,349 You're goddamn right it is. 1029 00:42:40,350 --> 00:42:42,519 - But it's not what I'm looking for. - Okay. 1030 00:42:43,395 --> 00:42:44,937 If your friends wanna stay and watch, that's fine, 1031 00:42:44,938 --> 00:42:46,021 but they have to hide in the closet, 1032 00:42:46,022 --> 00:42:47,523 and they can't make a lot of noise. It throws me off. 1033 00:42:47,524 --> 00:42:49,149 Uh, this is a dead end. Let's get out of here. 1034 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:51,026 - Thank you. - Okay, I'm sorry to bother you. 1035 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:52,444 Yeah, fine. I wasn't into you either. 1036 00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:53,821 I'll tell you something, sweet cheeks, 1037 00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:57,200 I like my women like I like my men, chunky as fuck. 1038 00:42:57,701 --> 00:42:59,911 -What? - I said good day! 1039 00:43:01,955 --> 00:43:04,498 Knock your face right off. See? There it is on the floor. 1040 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,375 What are you gonna do now? You got your face on the floor. 1041 00:43:06,376 --> 00:43:07,711 Wait, guys. 1042 00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:10,380 Let me take a swing at this one. 1043 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,929 Mr. Slattery. 1044 00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:21,557 California Penal Code section 602. Go away. 1045 00:43:21,558 --> 00:43:22,850 Orville and Wilbur. 1046 00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:24,351 - What? - The Wright brothers. 1047 00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:25,686 They invented the airplane. 1048 00:43:25,687 --> 00:43:27,062 Yeah. No duh. What about it? 1049 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:28,857 What about it? They were brothers, John. 1050 00:43:29,482 --> 00:43:32,359 They were partners. They were equals. 1051 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,487 They made something great together, and it was a massive hit. 1052 00:43:35,488 --> 00:43:36,823 The airplane was a blockbuster. 1053 00:43:37,991 --> 00:43:39,242 But what happened to the brothers? 1054 00:43:39,993 --> 00:43:42,369 Orville, well, he's a hero, isn't he? 1055 00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:43,705 He's in the history books. 1056 00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:46,249 But as for Wilbur... 1057 00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:49,668 he just couldn't handle the heat, could he? 1058 00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:50,920 He didn't have the courage. 1059 00:43:51,755 --> 00:43:53,006 So, what did he do? 1060 00:43:54,257 --> 00:43:56,508 He resigned himself to being a footnote, 1061 00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:58,052 a trivia question, 1062 00:43:58,053 --> 00:44:00,846 wasting away the final precious years of his life 1063 00:44:00,847 --> 00:44:01,931 punching a bag in a garage. 1064 00:44:03,224 --> 00:44:04,350 You see the connection that I'm making, John? 1065 00:44:04,351 --> 00:44:05,851 - I'm Orville? - You're Wilbur. 1066 00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:08,646 Okay, then yes, I see the connection clearly. 1067 00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:10,982 John... 1068 00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:14,068 watching you give that there bag a "what for," 1069 00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:16,821 I can see that the fire still burns in your belly. 1070 00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:19,782 So, I just have one question for you. 1071 00:44:19,783 --> 00:44:22,326 Are you gonna spend the rest of your life 1072 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,662 believing that you're the wrong Wright brother? 1073 00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:28,875 Or are you gonna start to believe 1074 00:44:29,709 --> 00:44:31,920 that deep down inside, 1075 00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:35,715 there can be two right Wright brothers? 1076 00:44:38,301 --> 00:44:39,885 Am I right, brother? 1077 00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:03,158 So, long story short, I keep the roll of film as a reminder. 1078 00:45:03,159 --> 00:45:04,576 Wasn't that short a story. 1079 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:06,203 Now, how do we find Hamm? 1080 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:08,414 First thing we should do is call his agent at CAA. 1081 00:45:08,415 --> 00:45:10,958 Uh, we tried that. Yeah, that ship has sailed. 1082 00:45:10,959 --> 00:45:12,626 Oh! Uh, I... I know he's got a house in Bel-Air. 1083 00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:13,710 Sold it a year ago. 1084 00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:15,003 I thought you were still friends. 1085 00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:16,422 Yeah, we're still friends. 1086 00:45:16,423 --> 00:45:17,798 We're just both busy. 1087 00:45:17,799 --> 00:45:19,801 So, we text mostly nowadays. Wait, let me see. 1088 00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,907 What is it? 1089 00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:45,201 It doesn't... You won't get it. 1090 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,773 Okay, you know, go up here to Sunset. 1091 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:19,067 Are you sure he still lives here? How long ago was that text? 1092 00:46:19,068 --> 00:46:20,736 - Six months ago. - Okay. 1093 00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,821 Super helpful. 1094 00:46:22,572 --> 00:46:25,407 Hey, perhaps, Otto, you can come up with a better idea 1095 00:46:25,408 --> 00:46:27,117 before you choke the life out of this one, 1096 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:29,369 like your dick on a lonely Saturday night! 1097 00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:31,038 -Hey, hey! - You wanna go? Let's go! 1098 00:46:31,039 --> 00:46:32,873 - I'm not afraid of you! - Come on! Come on, come on! 1099 00:46:32,874 --> 00:46:34,625 Hey, look. Look, look, look. 1100 00:46:34,626 --> 00:46:36,919 There it is. The Chateau Marmont. 1101 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,005 Wow. It's more beautiful than I even imagined 1102 00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:42,758 when I first heard about this place 30 minutes ago. 1103 00:46:42,759 --> 00:46:43,760 Come on! 1104 00:46:46,679 --> 00:46:48,096 Hello, I'm Gail. 1105 00:46:48,097 --> 00:46:49,890 -Hi. - Is Jon Hamm here? 1106 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:51,683 We don't give out that kind of information. 1107 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:54,645 Okay, I think it's time to drop the neutron bomb. 1108 00:46:54,646 --> 00:46:56,104 - Here we go. Hello. - Hello. 1109 00:46:56,105 --> 00:46:58,190 - I'm John Slattery. - I know who you are. 1110 00:46:58,191 --> 00:47:00,442 Oh, well, okay. 1111 00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:01,777 Now we're cooking. 1112 00:47:01,778 --> 00:47:03,278 So, give us the 411. 1113 00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:05,489 What's the deal with my boy Jonny Hammer Sticks? 1114 00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:07,158 Can't help you. Hotel policy. 1115 00:47:08,117 --> 00:47:09,785 Wow. She's tough. I'm out of moves. 1116 00:47:09,786 --> 00:47:11,161 -Yeah, she's good. - It's all right. 1117 00:47:11,162 --> 00:47:13,163 You did literally everything that you could. 1118 00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:15,290 Front desk. How may I help you? 1119 00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,834 One order of pineapple coconut pancakes to Room 203. 1120 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,212 - Right away, sir. - Stop. 1121 00:47:20,296 --> 00:47:21,297 Hammer time. 1122 00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:24,174 Well, that's 203, okay. 1123 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:25,092 Do you wanna knock? 1124 00:47:25,093 --> 00:47:26,302 No, you knock. Okay. 1125 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:31,224 - Can I help you? - Hi. We're here to see Jon Hamm. 1126 00:47:31,808 --> 00:47:33,016 Do you have an appointment? 1127 00:47:33,017 --> 00:47:36,353 - No, but I'm, uh, John... - Slattery! Yeah, I know. 1128 00:47:39,232 --> 00:47:40,983 - Hey. What's up, man? -Hey, hi. 1129 00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:42,859 Respect to the work, bro. I really appreciate it. 1130 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,570 - Oh, thank you, man. Thank you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah. 1131 00:47:44,571 --> 00:47:45,779 All right, y'all have a good day. 1132 00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,197 -Wait, no. No, no, no, come back. - Wait. Wait. 1133 00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:48,240 Wait. Ow! 1134 00:47:48,241 --> 00:47:50,493 - Ow! Ow! Ow! -Oh! Ow! 1135 00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:53,078 - Move. Move out the way. - Ow! Ow! 1136 00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:54,955 Ow! Ow! 1137 00:47:54,956 --> 00:47:56,331 Slat-man! 1138 00:47:56,332 --> 00:47:58,417 - Ow! Ow! Ow! - Move. 1139 00:47:58,418 --> 00:47:59,501 -Stop! Stop it! - Ow! Ow! 1140 00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:01,713 - What are you doing? - Ow! 1141 00:48:02,130 --> 00:48:03,463 - Stop doing that! No! - Ow! Ow! 1142 00:48:03,464 --> 00:48:04,756 Stop it! 1143 00:48:04,757 --> 00:48:07,385 Ow! Ow! 1144 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:10,887 Please stop. Just stop. 1145 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:13,349 Ow! Ow! Hey, Jon Hamm! 1146 00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:18,020 What the heck? Why did you have to hit him like that, mister? 1147 00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:19,688 I'm gonna do a hell of a lot worse than that 1148 00:48:19,689 --> 00:48:21,356 if you don't march y'all asses out of here. 1149 00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,483 Worse than hitting him in the face? What are you gonna do to him? 1150 00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,486 I'm gonna make him very sick. 1151 00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,363 - What? How? - Enough questions. 1152 00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:32,075 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 1153 00:48:32,076 --> 00:48:34,703 Just hear us out, okay? I can explain very quickly. 1154 00:48:34,704 --> 00:48:36,705 The bullet points are celebrity free pass. 1155 00:48:36,706 --> 00:48:38,457 My fiancé's was Aniston. Mine is Hamm. 1156 00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:40,627 He did it. I didn't, and I need to. 1157 00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:46,048 I understand completely. And I sympathize with your situation. 1158 00:48:46,049 --> 00:48:47,967 So, I'm not gonna make you all sick. 1159 00:48:49,010 --> 00:48:50,428 But I can't let you in. 1160 00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:52,721 Now get out of here before I change my mind 1161 00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:54,389 and make you all real sick. 1162 00:48:55,516 --> 00:48:58,018 Well, nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 1163 00:48:58,019 --> 00:49:00,395 - No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. - I just got over something. 1164 00:49:00,396 --> 00:49:02,607 - Okay. Let's get out of here. -Jesus. 1165 00:49:06,527 --> 00:49:09,196 I don't know, maybe this whole idea, 1166 00:49:09,197 --> 00:49:11,490 me thinking that having sex with Jon Hamm 1167 00:49:11,491 --> 00:49:14,743 would solve my relationship, is just ridiculous. It's stupid. 1168 00:49:14,744 --> 00:49:18,288 Just an utterly pointless premise. It's like, why? 1169 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:19,539 No, Gail, no. 1170 00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,166 We're too far into this thing to give up now. 1171 00:49:21,167 --> 00:49:23,210 Yeah, Gail. John Slattery is right. 1172 00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:26,463 If we work together as a team, we can accomplish literally anything. 1173 00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:29,633 Don't worry, Gail, somehow we'll get you in there. 1174 00:49:29,634 --> 00:49:30,801 He's right. 1175 00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:32,887 And then we're gonna get him in there. 1176 00:49:33,221 --> 00:49:36,640 Aw! Guys. I know we all just met today, 1177 00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:39,559 but it really feels like we've known each other for over a week. 1178 00:49:41,312 --> 00:49:42,396 - Hey. - Oh! 1179 00:49:42,397 --> 00:49:44,189 I wanted to catch you before you left. 1180 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:47,859 When I said I sympathized with you, I didn't tell you the exact truth. 1181 00:49:47,860 --> 00:49:51,154 The truth is, I more than sympathize with you. 1182 00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:52,531 I empathize with you. 1183 00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:54,074 Which is very different. Look it up. 1184 00:49:54,075 --> 00:49:55,534 Okay. 1185 00:49:55,535 --> 00:49:56,953 On your phone. Look it up. Uh... 1186 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:03,834 Oh! 1187 00:50:03,835 --> 00:50:05,502 - So you're saying that... - That's right. 1188 00:50:06,879 --> 00:50:08,214 Her name was Rebecca. 1189 00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:10,299 We were in Mexico. 1190 00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,803 Rebecca loved bullfights. I hated them, but I loved her. 1191 00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:17,347 Then, chaos. 1192 00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:20,350 Bull jumps the fence, heads right for Rebecca. 1193 00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:22,269 I pull her away, but she's wearing red. 1194 00:50:22,270 --> 00:50:24,187 It's over in seconds. I slip on something. 1195 00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:25,397 It's Rebecca's liver. 1196 00:50:25,398 --> 00:50:26,982 Jesus Christ! 1197 00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:29,652 Yeah. So, yeah, I empathize with what you're going through. 1198 00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:34,823 That's actually quite different from Gail's situation. 1199 00:50:34,824 --> 00:50:37,784 Okay, maybe it is that I sympathize more than empathize. 1200 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:41,371 Bottom line, whether it's a free celebrity pass taken too far 1201 00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:43,749 or an out-of-control bull disemboweling my Rebecca, 1202 00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:47,210 I know what it's like when someone comes between you and the one you love. 1203 00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:48,920 So, I went ahead 1204 00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:50,756 - and I talked to Mr. Hamm on your behalf. -What? 1205 00:50:50,757 --> 00:50:52,883 You did? What did he say? 1206 00:50:52,884 --> 00:50:55,010 He's on the lookout for his next film project. 1207 00:50:55,011 --> 00:50:58,263 He said if you guys could bring him a great movie idea for him to star in, 1208 00:50:58,264 --> 00:51:01,683 one that electrifies audiences but also speaks to Jon personally, 1209 00:51:01,684 --> 00:51:05,146 then he promises he'll help you with whatever you need. 1210 00:51:05,897 --> 00:51:07,439 Whatever we need? 1211 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,567 Wait, so we have to pitch him a film idea? 1212 00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:13,737 No, more than just an idea. He needs a fully fleshed-out story. 1213 00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:15,989 And of course, I come on board as a producer. 1214 00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:18,116 I gotta get enough money to help Rebecca with a proper burial. 1215 00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:20,076 - Wait, she's not buried yet? -Not yet. 1216 00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:22,079 - Where is she now? - Listen, stay in your lane. 1217 00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:24,790 Guys, I think we could come up with something 1218 00:51:24,791 --> 00:51:27,042 really great if we put our heads together. 1219 00:51:27,043 --> 00:51:30,378 I don't know how we're gonna come up with a whole movie idea before we go home. 1220 00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:32,006 I didn't say it was gonna be easy. 1221 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:36,134 Any ideas? 1222 00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:38,762 - No. I'm still thinking about the liver. - Yeah. 1223 00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:42,766 How about something about, um, like a dog or something? 1224 00:51:42,767 --> 00:51:44,893 No, that's already been done. Marley & Me? 1225 00:51:44,894 --> 00:51:46,437 Oh, yeah. Right. 1226 00:51:47,230 --> 00:51:49,314 Damn it. God, it is such a good idea. 1227 00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:52,067 If it wasn't for fucking Marley & Me! 1228 00:51:52,068 --> 00:51:53,528 Okay, okay. How about, uh... 1229 00:51:54,862 --> 00:51:57,239 Ugh, I can't get Otto's dog idea out of my head. 1230 00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:58,824 - I know. - I know we can't 'cause of Marley & Me, 1231 00:51:58,825 --> 00:52:00,951 - but it was, like, the exact perfect idea. - It was. 1232 00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:03,411 Also, I can't think of anything original because I'm starving. 1233 00:52:03,412 --> 00:52:05,455 I have a protein bar in my case in the back seat. 1234 00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:07,290 - Do you want it? - Yes, please. I'm dying. 1235 00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:08,625 Yeah. I'll take a protein bar. 1236 00:52:08,626 --> 00:52:09,835 Want one too? I want two. 1237 00:52:09,836 --> 00:52:10,878 Oh! 1238 00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:12,587 What about a cat? 1239 00:52:12,588 --> 00:52:14,422 - Is the cat's name Marley? -Yes, of course. 1240 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:16,007 - Then technically, it's still Marley & Me. -How? 1241 00:52:16,008 --> 00:52:17,509 Is it supposed to be locked? 1242 00:52:17,510 --> 00:52:18,885 No, it's probably just jammed. 1243 00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:20,512 Okay. Hi-ya! 1244 00:52:20,513 --> 00:52:22,222 -Garfield. - Still got it. 1245 00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:23,765 Ugh, I hate Mondays! 1246 00:52:23,766 --> 00:52:25,892 This is tough. Uh... 1247 00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,811 I don't see any protein bars in here. 1248 00:52:27,812 --> 00:52:29,647 - What? - Just a bunch of papers. 1249 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,860 - This isn't my case. -What? 1250 00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:36,612 "Top secret." What the heck is this? 1251 00:52:37,488 --> 00:52:39,698 - United States Patent Office. - What the hell is that? 1252 00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:40,867 Whoa! 1253 00:52:42,118 --> 00:52:43,201 I don't know. I feel weird about this. 1254 00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,078 Are you sure that we should be looking at this stuff? 1255 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:46,329 It's somebody else's property. It feels weird. 1256 00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:50,126 Guys, I have read a lot of screenplays over my many months at CAA. 1257 00:52:51,002 --> 00:52:52,460 This beats them all. 1258 00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:56,882 It's got violence and intrigue and espionage and double identities. 1259 00:52:56,883 --> 00:52:58,550 I mean, the fate of the whole damn world's at stake. 1260 00:52:58,551 --> 00:53:00,510 - So, what are you saying? - I'm saying, 1261 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:03,430 you plop Jon Hamm into this story, it writes itself. 1262 00:53:03,431 --> 00:53:04,973 This is our movie pitch. 1263 00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:06,057 Wait, wait, wait. You're saying we're gonna 1264 00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,018 turn these files into a movie pitch? 1265 00:53:08,019 --> 00:53:11,187 Caleb's right. These are real-life details that you just couldn't make up. 1266 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:14,608 I mean, all we have to do is just shape them just a tiny bit. 1267 00:53:14,609 --> 00:53:16,234 Hey, Vincent, you sound like a professional screenwriter. 1268 00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:17,152 Doesn't he? 1269 00:53:17,153 --> 00:53:18,403 - You do. - He does. 1270 00:53:18,404 --> 00:53:19,821 Well, funny you say that, you know, 1271 00:53:19,822 --> 00:53:22,908 because I originally came to Hollywood to become a screenwriter. 1272 00:53:22,909 --> 00:53:25,368 - What? - Yeah. But then I had five mouths to feed, 1273 00:53:25,369 --> 00:53:27,537 so I had to give that up tout suite. 1274 00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,581 - Wait, you have five kids? -Yeah. 1275 00:53:29,582 --> 00:53:31,082 They're all starting college this year. 1276 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:34,545 Wait, Vincent, you should be the one to write our Jon Hamm vehicle. 1277 00:53:35,171 --> 00:53:36,254 You should. 1278 00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:38,048 And Caleb, if you sell it to him 1279 00:53:38,049 --> 00:53:41,259 with the same chutzpah that you are showing us right now, 1280 00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:44,179 I know that he is going to love it. 1281 00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:46,473 I mean, yeah, and... and John Slattery, 1282 00:53:46,474 --> 00:53:48,516 I feel like you'd be perfect to play one of the parts. 1283 00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:50,185 - Oh, my gosh. Yes. - Really? 1284 00:53:50,186 --> 00:53:51,311 - Can you do an Italian accent? - Yes! 1285 00:53:51,312 --> 00:53:52,313 Well, no, but... 1286 00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:56,608 I've got an English accent that's not too bad. 1287 00:53:56,609 --> 00:53:58,318 Care for a spot of tea? 1288 00:53:58,319 --> 00:54:00,862 No, thanks. I've got a tummy ache, haven't I? 1289 00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:03,865 Me Japanese accent's 1290 00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,618 not too bad either, don't you know? 1291 00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:11,289 Okay, well, I say we go pitch Jon Hamm right now, huh? 1292 00:54:11,290 --> 00:54:14,709 Hold on a second. We still need to tighten and mold and put a spit shine 1293 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:17,170 on this pitch before it is ready for prime time. 1294 00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:19,547 You guys gonna eat the rest of this? 1295 00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:27,430 - Are you kidding me? -Right? 1296 00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,516 - Oh, my God. -Whoa. 1297 00:54:29,517 --> 00:54:31,017 - What happened? - What the heck? 1298 00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:32,018 You guys didn't leave it like this? 1299 00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:33,019 No. 1300 00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:34,980 - Hello, Gail... - Daughtry. 1301 00:54:34,981 --> 00:54:36,481 Oh, my God. 1302 00:54:36,482 --> 00:54:40,068 Do you have any idea how much turmoil you've caused in our life? 1303 00:54:40,069 --> 00:54:41,319 They have no idea. 1304 00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,406 Okay. Give us the case and we'll be out of your hair. 1305 00:54:44,407 --> 00:54:46,992 Okay. Be cool. Give him the case. 1306 00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:48,618 Wait, then we have no movie pitch. 1307 00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:50,704 Wait, hold on. Slattery... 1308 00:54:50,705 --> 00:54:52,664 I'm gonna distract them, and you attack them. 1309 00:54:52,665 --> 00:54:55,250 No, no, no. I've never actually fought a real person. 1310 00:54:55,251 --> 00:54:56,960 - I will throw up. - Hey! 1311 00:54:56,961 --> 00:54:59,296 I'm gonna start to shoot soon. And you don't want that. 1312 00:54:59,922 --> 00:55:02,215 Sorry. 1313 00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:04,342 Okay. You got one roller bed coming right... 1314 00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:06,261 - Oh, my God. -Who's this guy? 1315 00:55:06,262 --> 00:55:07,887 Hey, smile. 1316 00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:16,354 Run. Run! 1317 00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:20,900 I can't see! 1318 00:55:20,901 --> 00:55:22,318 Come on! All right! 1319 00:55:23,571 --> 00:55:24,572 Run! 1320 00:55:25,865 --> 00:55:26,866 Down the stairs! 1321 00:55:33,164 --> 00:55:34,247 Give me that case. 1322 00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:37,250 Welcome to the Blow out Blow out. 1323 00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:41,421 Here is your whip curl king, Remy Fontaine! 1324 00:55:41,422 --> 00:55:42,505 Do you miss me? 1325 00:55:43,883 --> 00:55:45,509 Make some noise for Remy! 1326 00:55:47,303 --> 00:55:48,971 Who wants a whip curl? You? You? 1327 00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,890 I see 'em! I think I see 'em. 1328 00:55:58,647 --> 00:56:02,109 Grip it, flip it and whip it. 1329 00:56:03,277 --> 00:56:04,820 You just got fingered. 1330 00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:07,323 Remy! 1331 00:56:07,907 --> 00:56:11,786 I took a little bit of ketamine. So this is a bit frightening. 1332 00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:14,163 I love you, I love you, give me a kiss. 1333 00:56:15,456 --> 00:56:17,248 It's Remy. Not right now, honey. 1334 00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:19,334 Oh! There. The exit. Let's go. 1335 00:56:19,335 --> 00:56:20,835 - Okay. - Go, go, go, go! 1336 00:56:20,836 --> 00:56:21,837 Wait, hold on. 1337 00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:24,255 -Otto, what are you doing? - Trust me. 1338 00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:25,757 Remy loves you. 1339 00:56:25,758 --> 00:56:28,885 Be sure to show your love for Remy at the merchandise table. 1340 00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,887 Did everyone sign up for the meet and greet? 1341 00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:33,056 I don't know what the fuck this is. Go that way. 1342 00:56:34,767 --> 00:56:37,769 Whip it good. Whip it real good. 1343 00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:40,980 No, no, no. Gail. Otto! Otto. Gail. 1344 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:43,233 -It's whip curl madness. - Vincent! 1345 00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:44,317 Caleb! 1346 00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,527 - Gail! - Otto! 1347 00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:46,945 John Slattery! 1348 00:56:46,946 --> 00:56:49,365 -I want to whip my curls in it. - Gail, we gotta go. 1349 00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:53,868 Give it up for Remy... Oh, my God. He's got a gun. 1350 00:56:55,496 --> 00:56:57,665 - Found you. - Go, go. Go, go, go. 1351 00:57:02,128 --> 00:57:04,004 Uh... Okay. 1352 00:57:05,214 --> 00:57:06,298 Enough! 1353 00:57:07,299 --> 00:57:08,676 Stop running. 1354 00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,511 - I'm tired. Hand it over. -Wait, wait, wait. 1355 00:57:11,512 --> 00:57:13,638 Okay, don't shoot. We can work this out. 1356 00:57:13,639 --> 00:57:15,850 No, no, no. There's nothing to work out. 1357 00:57:16,809 --> 00:57:19,352 - Goodbye, Gail Daughtry. - No, no, no. 1358 00:57:29,155 --> 00:57:30,990 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1359 00:57:31,824 --> 00:57:32,991 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. 1360 00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:36,412 The metal plate in my head saved my life. 1361 00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:38,831 - Who are these people? -Get back here. 1362 00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:42,333 Oh! 1363 00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:43,460 Niccolo. 1364 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:48,047 Niccolo. Oh, no. Niccolo. 1365 00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:49,757 It was an accident, I swear. 1366 00:57:49,758 --> 00:57:50,842 I don't know how it happened. 1367 00:57:50,843 --> 00:57:53,179 - I'm so, so, so sorry. - You. 1368 00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:56,515 You know what? I can cause accidents, too. 1369 00:57:57,308 --> 00:57:59,475 Get ready to burn in... 1370 00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:00,643 Oh! 1371 00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:03,021 You mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 1372 00:58:03,022 --> 00:58:04,732 Literally. 1373 00:58:08,777 --> 00:58:11,112 That's the Fontaine 3XL, isn't it? 1374 00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:12,947 Yes. They are. 1375 00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:15,950 You know, they say that dog is a man's best friend? Yeah? 1376 00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:17,118 -Yeah. - I say this too, 1377 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,413 but this curling iron is also a very good friend of... 1378 00:58:20,414 --> 00:58:22,248 Oh! 1379 00:58:22,249 --> 00:58:24,168 Oh! 1380 00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:27,086 Give me that. 1381 00:58:29,965 --> 00:58:31,884 Go, go, go! Let's go! 1382 00:58:33,385 --> 00:58:34,928 Hey, sorry, we got held up a little bit... 1383 00:58:34,929 --> 00:58:35,971 Whoa. Oh. 1384 00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:39,892 This is a classic case of two guys on the ground. 1385 00:58:52,905 --> 00:58:55,448 Where are we? Who are you? What do you want from us? 1386 00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:57,700 - Wait. No, no, no. Please, come back. - No, no, no, come back. Come back! 1387 00:58:57,701 --> 00:58:59,411 Come back! 1388 00:59:00,329 --> 00:59:02,914 - What, are they gonna kill us? - I don't know. I don't want to die. 1389 00:59:02,915 --> 00:59:04,208 Me neither. 1390 00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:06,918 Wait. Otto. 1391 00:59:06,919 --> 00:59:07,920 Yeah? 1392 00:59:08,420 --> 00:59:09,505 I just remembered... 1393 00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:12,966 - I can pop my ankle out. - Huh? 1394 00:59:12,967 --> 00:59:14,968 - Okay, do it. Do it. - Okay. 1395 00:59:17,221 --> 00:59:19,056 - Did you do it? - Yeah. 1396 00:59:20,891 --> 00:59:23,601 But it didn't achieve anything, so I'm gonna pop it back in, okay? 1397 00:59:23,602 --> 00:59:25,395 - Okay. Yeah. Pop it back in. Do it. - It hurts. 1398 00:59:25,396 --> 00:59:26,646 Ow. 1399 00:59:27,815 --> 00:59:29,399 Oh, Gail. 1400 00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,776 I'm so sorry I talked you into coming to Los Angeles with me. 1401 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:33,444 Otto, don't do that. 1402 00:59:33,445 --> 00:59:38,157 You've been my most consistent, my most loving, loyal friend 1403 00:59:38,158 --> 00:59:40,494 ever since my parents' double suicide. 1404 00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:43,288 And as I've said to you before, you know, 1405 00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:46,708 I could never presume to understand what it is you've gone through. 1406 00:59:46,709 --> 00:59:49,336 I mean, to find your mother and father in your bed like that. 1407 00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:52,380 - And on your birthday, no less. - Yeah. 1408 00:59:52,381 --> 00:59:56,260 But all I can do is be your friend. 1409 00:59:57,344 --> 00:59:58,345 No matter what. 1410 00:59:59,138 --> 01:00:00,139 Until the end. 1411 01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:04,767 Gail Daughtry. 1412 01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:06,686 Hairdresser. 1413 01:00:06,687 --> 01:00:07,938 Finally, we meet. 1414 01:00:08,439 --> 01:00:13,068 Flawless face to flawless face. 1415 01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:15,279 Who are you? 1416 01:00:15,988 --> 01:00:17,613 Where are we? 1417 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:22,952 Perhaps you recognize this saloon from the movie Blood on the Wagon. 1418 01:00:22,953 --> 01:00:26,622 I'm sorry, I don't. I'm more into, like, black-and-white Holocaust shit. 1419 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:27,957 Abandoned years ago. 1420 01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:30,376 A ghost town movie set. 1421 01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:34,589 The irony of building the New World financial order 1422 01:00:34,590 --> 01:00:38,968 from the ruins of fake American mythology... 1423 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:40,721 makes me so hard. 1424 01:00:41,347 --> 01:00:45,683 At first, I thought you were a hired operative. But no. 1425 01:00:45,684 --> 01:00:46,601 Mm-mmm. 1426 01:00:46,602 --> 01:00:50,772 You are just a girl from Kansas that showed up in my city 1427 01:00:50,773 --> 01:00:52,774 trying to do I don't know what. 1428 01:00:52,775 --> 01:00:54,233 Have sex with Jon Hamm. 1429 01:00:54,234 --> 01:00:56,069 Oh, like a celebrity pass thing? 1430 01:00:56,070 --> 01:00:57,862 -Exactly. - Good luck with that. 1431 01:00:57,863 --> 01:00:59,865 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 1432 01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:01,699 - Kill her. - Mm-hmm. 1433 01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:02,617 Wait, what? 1434 01:01:02,618 --> 01:01:04,078 What did she just say? 1435 01:01:04,828 --> 01:01:08,247 - And her little friend, too. - No, no, no, no, no, please. 1436 01:01:08,248 --> 01:01:09,958 Let's do this. Please, not Otto! 1437 01:01:16,757 --> 01:01:18,217 Stop! 1438 01:01:19,176 --> 01:01:21,345 Who the fuck is Remy Fontaine? 1439 01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:28,851 He's king of the whip curl. 1440 01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:30,144 And then I said to him, 1441 01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:32,856 "Uh, if you mess with my show, you're gonna get burned. 1442 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,443 "Uh, literally." It just... It just seemed like something to say. 1443 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:38,486 A catchphrase. 1444 01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:41,197 Hello? 1445 01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:44,325 Your friends tell me you have something that is mine. 1446 01:01:44,326 --> 01:01:46,035 Who is this? What friends? 1447 01:01:46,036 --> 01:01:49,372 Is this like camp friends? Is this Lieberman? 1448 01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:51,249 Caleb, do whatever she says. She's gonna kill us. 1449 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:53,501 Lieberman, I swear to God, if this is one of your bits 1450 01:01:53,502 --> 01:01:56,045 it's not even that funny because I actually have some friends 1451 01:01:56,046 --> 01:01:59,173 - who are in legitimate danger right now. - Caleb, it's Gail! 1452 01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:03,010 Bring my reports to 25933 1453 01:02:03,011 --> 01:02:08,976 Sand Canyon Way, Santa Clarita, California, 91387. 1454 01:02:09,601 --> 01:02:11,727 And bring them within the hour. 1455 01:02:11,728 --> 01:02:14,648 If not, your friends will die! 1456 01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:19,986 Well, either Lieberman's upped his game dramatically, 1457 01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:22,738 or Gail and Otto are in really significant danger. 1458 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,116 - We have to go to that address. - Hey, wait. 1459 01:02:25,117 --> 01:02:26,200 Who are we kidding? 1460 01:02:26,201 --> 01:02:28,536 They're not gonna let us just stroll in there, 1461 01:02:28,537 --> 01:02:30,872 save our friends, and then stroll right back out. 1462 01:02:30,873 --> 01:02:33,333 Come on, let's face it. They're... 1463 01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:35,085 They're dead already. 1464 01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:38,547 Vincent. Hey, hey, hey. 1465 01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:40,674 Why is this here? 1466 01:02:41,091 --> 01:02:43,468 It's just a roll of film, man. 1467 01:02:43,469 --> 01:02:46,095 - Why is this in here? - It's just a roll of film. 1468 01:02:46,096 --> 01:02:47,889 - Why is this in here? - It's a roll of film! 1469 01:02:47,890 --> 01:02:49,640 - Why is it in here? - It is a roll of film! 1470 01:02:49,641 --> 01:02:51,517 - Vincent! - Okay, it's there to remind me 1471 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:54,021 to never leave what's important behind! 1472 01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:00,319 - Let's go save our friends. - Wet's woll. 1473 01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:02,445 Hey, can I go? 1474 01:03:02,446 --> 01:03:04,947 'Cause if I don't finish my show, I'm out $600. 1475 01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,575 -Sir, you need to calm down. - No, no... 1476 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,791 I know this place. 1477 01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:17,585 We shot an episode of Love Boat here. 1478 01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:18,836 Really? Here? 1479 01:03:18,837 --> 01:03:20,505 It was a bottle episode. 1480 01:03:20,506 --> 01:03:21,714 Wait, how old are you? 1481 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:23,925 You guys hear that? What the heck? 1482 01:03:23,926 --> 01:03:26,928 - Otto! -Gail! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1483 01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:28,054 Thank God you're okay. 1484 01:03:28,055 --> 01:03:29,723 I got it. 1485 01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:31,517 Thank you. 1486 01:03:32,184 --> 01:03:33,351 Oh, thank God. 1487 01:03:33,352 --> 01:03:35,145 - Hi. Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah. 1488 01:03:37,856 --> 01:03:39,733 -Hey. - Hi. 1489 01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,199 My reports, please. 1490 01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,283 The reports are... 1491 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:54,330 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses, Slattery. Everybody hold your horses. 1492 01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:56,082 We got the reports. They're close by. 1493 01:03:56,083 --> 01:03:59,252 But first, we're gonna need some assurance that we're getting out of here alive. 1494 01:03:59,253 --> 01:04:01,587 What? You don't trust me? 1495 01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:03,381 Lady, I trust in three things only. 1496 01:04:03,382 --> 01:04:05,424 My mommy, death, and taxes. 1497 01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:07,260 And last I checked, I'm still alive. 1498 01:04:07,261 --> 01:04:09,345 I use TurboTax, and nobody here's breastfeeding me. 1499 01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:13,224 So, yeah, we got a couple of requests on our end. 1500 01:04:13,225 --> 01:04:15,518 You are in no position to bargain. 1501 01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:17,019 We see things a little bit differently, 1502 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:19,313 because it seems to us that without those documents, 1503 01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:20,898 you don't have what you want. 1504 01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:24,735 And it seems to me that the only people who know where the documents are is us. 1505 01:04:24,736 --> 01:04:28,657 So it seems like right now you need us alive. 1506 01:04:30,867 --> 01:04:31,951 What do you want? 1507 01:04:31,952 --> 01:04:34,745 You tell your goon boys to drop their guns and leave us alone. 1508 01:04:34,746 --> 01:04:38,000 We walk out of here unscathed. You get your documents. It's a win-win. 1509 01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:42,713 Okay. 1510 01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,883 Everybody, put your guns in the trash and take a break. 1511 01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:49,803 Happy now? 1512 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:56,017 Well, I feel like they did everything that we asked for. 1513 01:04:56,018 --> 01:04:58,144 They put the guns in the trash... They gave something, 1514 01:04:58,145 --> 01:04:59,353 - we need to give something. - You guys wanna take a vote? 1515 01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:00,438 Yeah. We all in? 1516 01:05:00,439 --> 01:05:01,731 - Vincent? - Okay. 1517 01:05:01,732 --> 01:05:02,816 Give her the reports. Yeah. 1518 01:05:04,943 --> 01:05:07,613 Here we go. 1519 01:05:09,239 --> 01:05:10,407 Right there. One more. 1520 01:05:12,326 --> 01:05:14,702 These are... Yeah, right there. There you are. 1521 01:05:14,703 --> 01:05:16,329 - And we have one more. One more. -Do you need help? 1522 01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:17,914 - Gail, give me a hand? - Yeah, sure. 1523 01:05:18,874 --> 01:05:21,835 -Okay. - Right there. And one more. 1524 01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:24,503 One more. Come on. 1525 01:05:24,504 --> 01:05:26,965 There it is. And one more, one more. 1526 01:05:34,473 --> 01:05:36,474 Well, that's that. 1527 01:05:36,475 --> 01:05:38,809 - So much for our movie pitch. - At least we're alive. 1528 01:05:38,810 --> 01:05:40,686 Hey, Caleb, you are quite a negotiator. 1529 01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:41,979 - Yeah. - Wow. 1530 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:43,856 It's all here. 1531 01:05:43,857 --> 01:05:45,066 Hey. 1532 01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:47,526 - Kill them. -Wait, what? 1533 01:05:47,527 --> 01:05:49,278 Wait, wait, wait... No, no, no, no, no. 1534 01:05:49,279 --> 01:05:50,696 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1535 01:05:50,697 --> 01:05:52,490 We should have anticipated that they'd come back 1536 01:05:52,491 --> 01:05:53,574 and get their guns again. 1537 01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:55,785 Yeah. Don't blame yourself. I missed it, too. 1538 01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:58,079 These guys are professional killers, right? 1539 01:05:58,080 --> 01:05:59,455 - We both missed it. -We all missed it. 1540 01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,248 -Yeah. - I'm kicking myself now. 1541 01:06:01,249 --> 01:06:02,667 It was right in my face. 1542 01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:04,460 Hey, Slattery, now would be a good time to pull off 1543 01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:05,544 some of those moves. 1544 01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:06,962 I told you, I can't... I can't do it. 1545 01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,547 Real violence makes me throw up. 1546 01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:13,469 John, no flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris. 1547 01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:15,889 - What? - Orville Wright said that. 1548 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:18,350 Now, do you understand what I'm saying? 1549 01:06:18,934 --> 01:06:20,434 Yeah. 1550 01:06:20,435 --> 01:06:21,728 Yeah, I understand. 1551 01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:24,188 Stand back, everybody. 1552 01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:25,731 - I got this. -Okay. 1553 01:06:25,732 --> 01:06:27,775 Fellas, fellas. 1554 01:06:27,776 --> 01:06:29,860 Nobody wants to get hurt, right? 1555 01:06:29,861 --> 01:06:31,570 So why don't we just handle it like this? 1556 01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:36,784 Whoa! 1557 01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:39,705 Hi-yah! 1558 01:06:41,832 --> 01:06:43,792 - Hey, hey, hey. - Not bad, right? 1559 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:47,713 Hey, boys. Come on! 1560 01:06:50,132 --> 01:06:51,216 Take that. 1561 01:06:52,175 --> 01:06:54,176 Too slow. 1562 01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:55,845 - Good job. -Nope. 1563 01:06:59,141 --> 01:07:01,560 What the fuck? 1564 01:07:02,144 --> 01:07:03,394 Consider that a divorce. 1565 01:07:03,395 --> 01:07:05,689 - Hey, you're mine! -You want some, too, baldy? 1566 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:07,773 Take that. 1567 01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,484 This is fun. I can do this all day. 1568 01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:12,069 Got your eye, motherfucker. 1569 01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:13,947 Ooh! 1570 01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:16,031 Going up, motherfucker. 1571 01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:17,199 I got you, asshole! 1572 01:07:21,163 --> 01:07:23,038 Down goes Frazier. 1573 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:24,373 Slattery, you old son of a bitch. 1574 01:07:26,543 --> 01:07:27,460 Oh! 1575 01:07:27,461 --> 01:07:29,171 Still got it. 1576 01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:32,339 This is for Nico and Marco 1577 01:07:32,340 --> 01:07:34,091 and all the unnecessary agita you caused me 1578 01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:35,593 over the last 11 and a half hours. 1579 01:07:35,594 --> 01:07:37,052 - No, no, no, no. - You kill my friends, 1580 01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:39,221 I kill your friends. Bye-bye. 1581 01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:41,223 No, no, no, no. Please, please. 1582 01:07:41,224 --> 01:07:42,224 Huh? 1583 01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,981 Stings. 1584 01:07:55,197 --> 01:07:56,947 - Whoops. - Let's face it. 1585 01:07:56,948 --> 01:07:59,033 You can pack quite a punch. "Let's face it." 1586 01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:01,494 Wow. 1587 01:08:01,495 --> 01:08:02,745 Where did you learn that, man? 1588 01:08:02,746 --> 01:08:05,415 I'm self-taught. Totally self-taught. 1589 01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:08,751 - I have a practice head in my garage. -Did you see that? He saved my life. 1590 01:08:08,752 --> 01:08:10,544 - I gotta tell you... -Unreal. 1591 01:08:10,545 --> 01:08:11,879 Oh, shit. 1592 01:08:17,552 --> 01:08:18,428 Ding-ding. 1593 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,096 Round two, motherfuckers. 1594 01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:22,557 I'll take 'em one by one. 1595 01:08:32,275 --> 01:08:34,693 Wow, I thought that was gonna take much more time and energy. 1596 01:08:34,694 --> 01:08:36,612 Yeah, you know, we just picked up those dead guys' guns. 1597 01:08:36,613 --> 01:08:38,239 - We just went for it. - Improvised a little. 1598 01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,323 The guns make it easier. 1599 01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:40,616 I've never shot a gun before in my life. 1600 01:08:40,617 --> 01:08:42,327 -Thank you. - I would have never guessed. 1601 01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:45,372 - Damn it. - Get her! 1602 01:08:53,213 --> 01:08:54,672 - Tom? I have to call you back. -Gail. 1603 01:08:54,673 --> 01:08:55,965 I was able to extend the deposit. 1604 01:08:55,966 --> 01:08:58,217 We'll talk about this later. I'm literally in the middle of a thing. 1605 01:08:58,218 --> 01:08:59,301 I have to call you back. 1606 01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:00,928 Are you on a treadmill right now? 1607 01:09:08,770 --> 01:09:09,938 Get back here! 1608 01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:20,072 Hey, give us one good reason why we shouldn't kill you... right now. 1609 01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:22,741 - I have very powerful friends. - Uh-huh. 1610 01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:24,326 - We can make a deal. -Like what? 1611 01:09:24,327 --> 01:09:25,787 Let me explain. 1612 01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:28,122 - What do you guys think? -Yeah, yeah. 1613 01:09:28,123 --> 01:09:29,415 - Yeah, give her a shot. - You sure? 1614 01:09:29,416 --> 01:09:30,709 -Yeah. - Yeah, let her explain. Let her explain. 1615 01:09:32,377 --> 01:09:35,212 - We're listening. - Okay. What if... 1616 01:09:35,213 --> 01:09:36,630 Caleb! 1617 01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:39,008 We just said that we would listen to what she has to say. 1618 01:09:39,009 --> 01:09:41,302 I'm sorry. It's the adrenaline. I just had to do it. 1619 01:09:41,303 --> 01:09:43,679 Okay. Continue, uh... 1620 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,181 - Ludovica. - That is so pretty. 1621 01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:47,558 - Thank you. -I've never heard that... 1622 01:09:47,559 --> 01:09:48,601 Vincent. What did I just say? 1623 01:09:48,602 --> 01:09:50,978 I know, but you saw what they tried to do to us back there. 1624 01:09:50,979 --> 01:09:53,522 - She tried to kill us all. - We said that we would at least listen 1625 01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:55,232 to what she has to propose... 1626 01:09:55,233 --> 01:09:58,068 - Guys, what is going on? - Why don't they listen to you? 1627 01:09:58,069 --> 01:09:59,528 Ludovica, just let me... 1628 01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:02,114 You're already on thin ice, so just shut up for a second, okay? 1629 01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:03,908 - Otto, don't hit her. - Yeah? Sorry. Yeah. 1630 01:10:03,909 --> 01:10:04,992 - Slattery. - What? 1631 01:10:04,993 --> 01:10:06,744 Do you need to get one in before we can listen to what she has to say? 1632 01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:08,495 No. I'm good. I got all mine out back there. 1633 01:10:08,496 --> 01:10:10,039 Okay. Everybody chill? 1634 01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,957 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm super chill. Super chill. 1635 01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:13,375 - Ludovica. - Yes? 1636 01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:16,463 - The floor is yours. - Really? Now? 1637 01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:21,175 - Okay? So, if you let me go... - Oh! 1638 01:10:21,176 --> 01:10:23,553 Guys, what in the actual fuck? 1639 01:10:31,061 --> 01:10:32,228 You're all out. 1640 01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:36,065 Wait. Wait. 1641 01:10:44,032 --> 01:10:46,326 Huh? You like that? 1642 01:10:56,503 --> 01:11:00,255 All right, all right. All right, you did it. You're good. 1643 01:11:03,969 --> 01:11:05,887 - Oh, my God. -Gail. 1644 01:11:06,846 --> 01:11:08,222 She said, "Wait." Why did you... 1645 01:11:08,223 --> 01:11:10,182 I got swept up in it, too. What can I say? 1646 01:11:10,183 --> 01:11:13,185 I'm human. I'm not perfect. 1647 01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:15,688 Of course. Of course. No, we're not judging. 1648 01:11:15,689 --> 01:11:16,898 Jeez. 1649 01:11:18,733 --> 01:11:20,443 Let's finish what we started, huh? 1650 01:11:23,530 --> 01:11:25,114 - You guys ready? -Yes! 1651 01:11:25,115 --> 01:11:26,407 You got all the paperwork? 1652 01:11:26,408 --> 01:11:28,492 Wow, that instant stain remover pen really works. 1653 01:11:28,493 --> 01:11:29,494 -Doesn't it? - Yeah. 1654 01:11:31,579 --> 01:11:33,956 You're back. I like you guys, 1655 01:11:33,957 --> 01:11:35,708 but if you keep coming here with nothing to offer, 1656 01:11:35,709 --> 01:11:37,668 I'm professionally obligated to make you sick. 1657 01:11:37,669 --> 01:11:39,045 We have a movie pitch for Jon Hamm. 1658 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,672 What's it about? Lay it down in two minutes or less. 1659 01:11:41,673 --> 01:11:43,757 Well, Terrence, I could give you the old verbal pitch. 1660 01:11:43,758 --> 01:11:45,634 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 1661 01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:48,637 because sometimes, a giant stack of loose paperwork 1662 01:11:48,638 --> 01:11:50,306 is worth a thousand pitches. 1663 01:11:52,225 --> 01:11:54,310 - Is this blood on here? - Yeah. 1664 01:11:55,145 --> 01:11:56,437 Do you want to explain where it came from? 1665 01:11:56,438 --> 01:11:57,439 No. 1666 01:11:58,064 --> 01:11:59,065 Okay. 1667 01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:07,490 Wow. 1668 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:11,326 This is the kind of part Jon Hamm would destroy. 1669 01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:13,662 Yes! 1670 01:12:13,663 --> 01:12:16,749 I think it's finally time for you to meet Mr. Hamm. 1671 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:36,393 Hey. I'm Jon. What's up? 1672 01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:39,313 Wow. It is such an honor to meet you. 1673 01:12:39,314 --> 01:12:41,399 My name is Gail, and these are my friends. 1674 01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:46,445 - Otto, Caleb, Vincent and... - Slat-man! I owe you a text. 1675 01:12:46,446 --> 01:12:48,113 Dude, no worries at all. 1676 01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,323 It's all good. 1677 01:12:49,324 --> 01:12:51,867 So, my friend Terrence tells me you guys have a movie to pitch me? 1678 01:12:51,868 --> 01:12:54,119 Yes, we do, and it is a home run. 1679 01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,121 Well, it better be, 'cause if it is, 1680 01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,207 I will literally do anything for you. 1681 01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,167 - I'm gonna hold you to that. -Okay, and, Slattery, 1682 01:13:00,168 --> 01:13:02,211 - you're gonna be co-starring in this? - What? 1683 01:13:02,212 --> 01:13:04,463 Don Draper, Roger Sterling, back together again? 1684 01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:05,964 Yeah! 1685 01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:07,841 I'm gonna have to check my schedule, but yeah. 1686 01:13:07,842 --> 01:13:10,219 Oh, and, Vince here is an excellent writer. 1687 01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:11,595 He's gonna do the screenplay. 1688 01:13:11,596 --> 01:13:14,807 Oh, the all-important scribe. Yes, sir. 1689 01:13:14,808 --> 01:13:18,018 And I assume you are the negotiator? 1690 01:13:18,019 --> 01:13:21,230 Oh, yeah. Well, I worked at CAA but I'm between agencies at the moment. 1691 01:13:21,231 --> 01:13:24,316 Well, not for long, if this thing does what I think it's gonna do, am I right? 1692 01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:26,820 Yeah, he's right about that. 1693 01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:28,487 Now, what about my hair? 1694 01:13:28,488 --> 01:13:30,656 Who's gonna take care of that? Any ideas there? 1695 01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:33,409 Um, you're looking at it. Three years combined experience. 1696 01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:35,745 Perfect. I am psyched. 1697 01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:37,955 Let's hear this pitch. 1698 01:13:37,956 --> 01:13:40,707 Well, listen, Jonny, I'd give the old verbal pitch. 1699 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,334 That'd be easy. But I'm gonna do you one better 1700 01:13:42,335 --> 01:13:45,087 because sometimes, a binder full of loose paperwork 1701 01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:47,924 - is worth a thousand pitches. - Okay, but I don't want to read it. 1702 01:13:48,550 --> 01:13:50,717 - You... - Just tell me the story. 1703 01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,219 Tell you... He wants to hear the story. 1704 01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:53,679 - You want me to go? -Oh, yes, yes, yes. 1705 01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:56,224 What do I say? Guys? Guys... It's a story about espionage. 1706 01:13:56,808 --> 01:13:58,851 Of double identities. 1707 01:13:58,852 --> 01:14:01,478 - A secret global network... - Okay, let me stop you right there 1708 01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:04,607 'cause I think I get the world of this. But where's the heart? 1709 01:14:05,108 --> 01:14:07,442 - The heart? - The heart, the heart. 1710 01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,903 That's where your character comes in. 1711 01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:12,030 He's a guy who's been put to the test... 1712 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:14,616 - Yeah. - Okay? Until he finally realizes 1713 01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:16,618 what it's all about. The people you love. 1714 01:14:16,619 --> 01:14:19,538 Okay, I like that, but I don't want it to be too dumbed down. 1715 01:14:19,539 --> 01:14:21,832 Don't you worry about that. It is the opposite of dumb. 1716 01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:23,458 It blows the lid off the entire genre, 1717 01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:25,460 and it's all centered around a loose pile of paperwork 1718 01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:27,588 that can't fall into the wrong hands or else... 1719 01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:28,714 Get this, Jon. 1720 01:14:28,715 --> 01:14:31,049 - Major clusterfuck. - Clusterfuck. That's smart. 1721 01:14:31,050 --> 01:14:33,302 Okay, so it's smart and it has heart. 1722 01:14:33,303 --> 01:14:34,887 -Yes. - But does it have cojones? 1723 01:14:34,888 --> 01:14:36,763 Oh, buddy, big ones. 1724 01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:42,227 Try this on for size. One man, two fists, killing maybe 20, maybe 30 henchmen. 1725 01:14:42,228 --> 01:14:44,104 I don't know, it felt like the same eight guys 1726 01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:45,355 recycled over and over again. 1727 01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:47,816 But real life. Raw. Uncensored. 1728 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:50,527 - Physical. Visceral. - I'm getting goosebumps. 1729 01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:54,240 - This is crazy. This has got balls! -Yes! 1730 01:14:56,034 --> 01:14:57,035 Yeah. 1731 01:14:57,827 --> 01:14:58,828 Pass. 1732 01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:01,872 - What? - What? 1733 01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:04,208 Yeah. Respectfully, I'm gonna pass on this. 1734 01:15:04,209 --> 01:15:07,961 But thank you guys for coming by. What fun. I gotta jump on a Zoom, so... 1735 01:15:07,962 --> 01:15:09,630 Wait, wait, wait. That's it? 1736 01:15:09,631 --> 01:15:11,632 What don't you like? Because we're not married to anything. 1737 01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:14,218 - Yeah, we can change anything. - Literally everything. 1738 01:15:14,219 --> 01:15:16,678 No. Yeah, no, no, I'm just not feeling it at all. 1739 01:15:16,679 --> 01:15:18,723 So, Terrence is gonna show you out. Thanks again. 1740 01:15:19,682 --> 01:15:21,016 - Fun. - Buddy... 1741 01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:24,102 Oh, hey. Y'all heard him. Everybody out. Everybody out. Let's get out. 1742 01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:27,397 You lost. It happens sometimes. That's... That's the way it is. 1743 01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:28,691 Where's the girl? 1744 01:15:30,902 --> 01:15:32,070 What? 1745 01:15:32,987 --> 01:15:34,072 This isn't a Zoom. 1746 01:15:34,489 --> 01:15:36,949 Oh, shame on you, Jon Hamm. 1747 01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:40,244 We came all this way. We risked our lives to find you. 1748 01:15:40,245 --> 01:15:41,328 And for what? 1749 01:15:41,329 --> 01:15:44,874 You making promises to each of us that you had no intention of keeping. 1750 01:15:45,792 --> 01:15:47,834 You're not the person that I thought you were. 1751 01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:51,631 You're absolutely right. 1752 01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:55,635 The honest truth is... 1753 01:15:56,344 --> 01:15:57,720 I'm just scared. 1754 01:15:59,347 --> 01:16:02,933 - Sorry, Mr. Hamm. She snuck by me... - Terrence, it's okay. Please, please. 1755 01:16:02,934 --> 01:16:04,060 Don't make her sick. 1756 01:16:04,644 --> 01:16:08,106 - He's gonna make you sick, Gail. - Guys, guys, look. 1757 01:16:08,690 --> 01:16:10,816 I made it seem like I could set up your project 1758 01:16:10,817 --> 01:16:13,694 because that's what I thought you wanted to hear. 1759 01:16:13,695 --> 01:16:16,239 But the truth is, you can't do anything for any of us. 1760 01:16:16,823 --> 01:16:18,866 You're just an actor. 1761 01:16:19,826 --> 01:16:21,285 You don't know any more about how to set up 1762 01:16:21,286 --> 01:16:23,705 the nuts and bolts of a movie than any of us do. 1763 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:27,417 - Isn't that right? - Honestly, yes. 1764 01:16:28,293 --> 01:16:30,670 I'm a grown man, but inside I'm still just a... 1765 01:16:31,379 --> 01:16:32,462 little kid. 1766 01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:36,300 That same awkward wanderer who finally found his place 1767 01:16:36,301 --> 01:16:39,303 when he got cast as Winnie-the-Pooh in first grade. 1768 01:16:39,304 --> 01:16:40,262 Oh. 1769 01:16:40,263 --> 01:16:43,056 My teacher said I was one of the best Poohs of the year. 1770 01:16:43,057 --> 01:16:44,558 I bet you were a great Pooh. 1771 01:16:44,559 --> 01:16:46,852 - That's when I got bit by the acting bug. - Huh. 1772 01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:47,936 And I never got cured. 1773 01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:49,730 In high school, I did a wonderful production of Godspell. 1774 01:16:49,731 --> 01:16:51,858 Let's get to the part about Mad Men. 1775 01:16:53,693 --> 01:16:56,653 Well, Mad Men was a juggernaut beyond my wildest dreams. 1776 01:16:56,654 --> 01:17:01,033 Of all the jobs I did in 2007, it was arguably the most high profile. 1777 01:17:01,034 --> 01:17:03,410 Those were the days. Wall-to-wall trim. 1778 01:17:03,411 --> 01:17:05,871 But then I looked around. People started seeing me differently. 1779 01:17:05,872 --> 01:17:08,081 They started seeing "Jon Hamm," 1780 01:17:08,082 --> 01:17:10,876 the larger-than-life guy with the great jaw 1781 01:17:10,877 --> 01:17:12,920 and the perfect hairline. You know? 1782 01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:15,380 So I guess I just started reflecting back to the public 1783 01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:17,007 what I thought they wanted to see. 1784 01:17:17,008 --> 01:17:20,219 The Jon Hamm they see on the billboards, it's not me. 1785 01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:22,597 I'm just the guy behind the curtain, 1786 01:17:23,598 --> 01:17:24,931 pulling the levers. 1787 01:17:24,932 --> 01:17:27,310 I guess we all came a long way for nothing. 1788 01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:30,772 Sorry to waste your time. 1789 01:17:32,607 --> 01:17:33,983 -Let's go. - Wait, wait. 1790 01:17:35,151 --> 01:17:37,444 I may not be able to help you set up this project, 1791 01:17:37,445 --> 01:17:39,739 but I can do something for you guys. 1792 01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:44,576 Caleb, what if I was to call CAA 1793 01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:48,288 and strongly suggest that they give you your job back? 1794 01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:50,207 - That'd be amazing... - Yes. 1795 01:17:50,208 --> 01:17:53,543 And, Slattery, I got roped into doing my lawyer's kid's student film, 1796 01:17:53,544 --> 01:17:56,171 but I bet I could convince them to give you the job instead. 1797 01:17:56,172 --> 01:17:57,297 Wow. Thanks, man. 1798 01:17:57,298 --> 01:18:00,050 They say that student films are the gateway to bigger stuff sometimes. 1799 01:18:00,051 --> 01:18:01,259 - Vincent? - Yes? 1800 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,762 You wanted to be a screenwriter? 1801 01:18:03,471 --> 01:18:04,472 Well... 1802 01:18:05,723 --> 01:18:07,725 I'm more of a photographer these days. 1803 01:18:08,684 --> 01:18:10,185 Would you mind if I get a shot of you? 1804 01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,395 - I'd be honored. - Yeah! 1805 01:18:11,396 --> 01:18:12,647 Something candid? Like this? 1806 01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:18,027 Perfect. 1807 01:18:21,114 --> 01:18:22,115 Just perfect. 1808 01:18:25,118 --> 01:18:27,327 Oh, and, Otto, I have something for you. 1809 01:18:27,328 --> 01:18:30,330 My swag bag from the Movie and Television awards. 1810 01:18:30,331 --> 01:18:32,457 It's got a whole bunch of stuff I will never use, 1811 01:18:32,458 --> 01:18:35,669 including some VIP passes to Magic Mountain. 1812 01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:38,463 Oh, Magic Mountain. I want to go. 1813 01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:40,632 - Thank you. - It's the least I could do. 1814 01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:43,427 - You guys... - Thank you for everything, Jon. I mean... 1815 01:18:43,428 --> 01:18:45,304 Wait, wait. What about Gail? 1816 01:18:46,180 --> 01:18:48,932 She's kind of the whole reason we came here in the first place. 1817 01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:51,601 That's right. What about Gail? 1818 01:18:51,602 --> 01:18:53,396 Yeah. Jon. Do Gail next. 1819 01:18:53,938 --> 01:18:55,231 - Guys. -Oh. 1820 01:18:55,898 --> 01:18:58,567 Gail, what's your dream? 1821 01:18:58,568 --> 01:19:01,696 You wanted to be a hairdresser for the movies, am I right? 1822 01:19:02,447 --> 01:19:03,573 Uh... 1823 01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:08,161 No. 1824 01:19:08,828 --> 01:19:10,163 I actually, um... 1825 01:19:11,873 --> 01:19:13,583 have a different kind of request. 1826 01:19:40,193 --> 01:19:42,319 Hey, we'll let... We'll let you two take it from here. 1827 01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:43,404 Come on. Let's go. Yeah. 1828 01:20:16,312 --> 01:20:17,646 There you go, Mommy. 1829 01:20:17,647 --> 01:20:18,689 I'm back in the game. 1830 01:20:19,190 --> 01:20:20,191 Junior assistant. 1831 01:20:22,610 --> 01:20:25,111 Roll sound. Rolling sound. Speed. 1832 01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,530 Boardroom scene. Take seven. 1833 01:20:26,531 --> 01:20:28,156 Marker. Action. 1834 01:20:28,157 --> 01:20:31,701 How many times do I have to tell you guys what's going on around here? 1835 01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:33,328 Yeah. What are you doing? You can't smile... 1836 01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:36,040 Nobody seems to know... Nobody's on the same page. 1837 01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:42,254 Sorry this is 15 years late. 1838 01:20:42,255 --> 01:20:43,296 Wait, what? 1839 01:20:43,297 --> 01:20:45,383 Oh. And by the way... 1840 01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:48,343 I quit. 1841 01:20:48,344 --> 01:20:50,470 I'm sorry, who are you? What is this? 1842 01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:52,557 Debbie, who the fuck did you just let in my office? 1843 01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:56,309 Wait a minute. Ha! That son of a bitch. 1844 01:20:56,310 --> 01:20:58,144 He got his white whale. 1845 01:20:58,145 --> 01:21:00,355 I'll be damned. 1846 01:21:00,356 --> 01:21:02,274 Vincent, you old son of a bitch. 1847 01:21:02,275 --> 01:21:04,526 He's gone. Do you want me to go get him? 1848 01:21:04,527 --> 01:21:07,237 Oh, no. That's okay. I can text him. Just remind me. Put it on the list. 1849 01:21:07,238 --> 01:21:08,780 And this would be regarding... 1850 01:21:08,781 --> 01:21:12,534 Just put "son of a bitch." I'll know what it means. 1851 01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:16,746 I'll know what it means. 1852 01:21:34,056 --> 01:21:35,141 I feel like... 1853 01:21:36,392 --> 01:21:38,436 "I'm floating above the clouds." 1854 01:21:40,730 --> 01:21:43,899 "Chains of yesterday dissolve like morning mist." 1855 01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,862 "As I rise on newfound wings, 1856 01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:50,364 "Towards endless blue..." 1857 01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:54,034 - "In cloudscapes pure and bright." - "In cloudscapes pure and bright." 1858 01:21:54,035 --> 01:21:55,452 - "I am made new." - "I am made new." 1859 01:21:55,453 --> 01:21:56,537 What? 1860 01:21:57,246 --> 01:21:59,080 I've never met anyone that knows that poem. 1861 01:21:59,081 --> 01:22:01,333 Who doesn't love J.M. Stansel? 1862 01:22:01,334 --> 01:22:03,336 Are you kidding me? I'm a Stansel junkie. 1863 01:22:05,838 --> 01:22:08,298 I know this sounds crazy, but I could imagine you and me 1864 01:22:08,299 --> 01:22:11,092 - rising on wings toward endless blue. - Mm. 1865 01:22:11,093 --> 01:22:12,678 Wouldn't that be something? 1866 01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,264 Some other lifetime, maybe. 1867 01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:16,974 Sure. 1868 01:22:17,725 --> 01:22:19,018 Some other lifetime. 1869 01:22:23,356 --> 01:22:25,399 Jon Hamm. 1870 01:22:26,651 --> 01:22:27,735 Who knew? 1871 01:22:28,694 --> 01:22:30,445 It's too bad you're getting married. 1872 01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:34,158 Because I would love to take you to this magical spot I know in St. Blarts. 1873 01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:38,120 Soomer in St. Blarts sounds incredible. 1874 01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,122 I'm so flattered. 1875 01:22:41,123 --> 01:22:44,668 But, yes, I am getting married 1876 01:22:44,669 --> 01:22:47,546 and so I can't go to St. Blarts with you. 1877 01:22:48,381 --> 01:22:49,382 But... 1878 01:22:50,299 --> 01:22:53,468 sincerely, it was so great to fuck you. 1879 01:22:53,469 --> 01:22:55,721 And thanks for everything. 1880 01:22:58,224 --> 01:22:59,725 - Be well. - You too. 1881 01:23:07,775 --> 01:23:08,901 What a day. 1882 01:23:09,819 --> 01:23:12,821 LAX, please. You got it. 1883 01:23:12,822 --> 01:23:14,322 Probably good you're getting out of the city. 1884 01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:16,449 I'm sure you heard about the mess that happened 1885 01:23:16,450 --> 01:23:18,910 at the abandoned movie lot the other night. 1886 01:23:20,037 --> 01:23:21,539 - Go ahead. Go around me. - Uh... 1887 01:23:22,498 --> 01:23:23,748 No, no. I'm... I haven't heard. 1888 01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,542 - What happened? - You haven't heard? Oh... 1889 01:23:25,543 --> 01:23:28,253 They found dozens of dead bodies out there. 1890 01:23:28,254 --> 01:23:30,880 It's just impossible to process. 1891 01:23:30,881 --> 01:23:33,925 I mean, nothing like that has ever happened before. 1892 01:23:33,926 --> 01:23:36,428 Hey, sorry, I think I recognize you. 1893 01:23:36,429 --> 01:23:38,930 Are you Elizabeth Perkins, by any chance? 1894 01:23:38,931 --> 01:23:40,223 Yes. 1895 01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:41,559 Hey, there. 1896 01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:46,312 Get over here, Solly. 1897 01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:48,606 The ceremony's gonna start in a few minutes. 1898 01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:50,692 - Do you know what works with bridesmaids? - What? 1899 01:23:50,693 --> 01:23:53,737 A little Slattery flattery. 1900 01:23:53,738 --> 01:23:56,282 How about some... How about some Caleb... 1901 01:24:00,369 --> 01:24:01,453 Okay. 1902 01:24:01,454 --> 01:24:03,705 So, when I tell you you may kiss the bride, 1903 01:24:03,706 --> 01:24:05,248 that's your cue to, uh... 1904 01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,417 Well, I'm gonna keep this PG. 1905 01:24:07,418 --> 01:24:08,919 I'm not sure I understand. 1906 01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:12,464 Mm. Nobody rocks a whip curl like my girl. 1907 01:24:14,592 --> 01:24:17,427 Hey, you're still feeling okay about all this, right? 1908 01:24:17,428 --> 01:24:20,430 No. Yeah. Yes, no. No, I am feeling good. 1909 01:24:20,431 --> 01:24:21,598 - You sure? - Yeah. 1910 01:24:21,599 --> 01:24:23,601 I mean, Tom is far from perfect. 1911 01:24:24,852 --> 01:24:26,561 Like, he works too much. 1912 01:24:26,562 --> 01:24:28,521 He drinks a little bit more than I'd like him to. 1913 01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:30,648 He snores so loud. 1914 01:24:30,649 --> 01:24:33,735 He'll never say things like, "Thank you" or "I'm sorry." 1915 01:24:33,736 --> 01:24:36,237 And when I had that full hysterectomy, 1916 01:24:36,238 --> 01:24:39,366 and I really, really needed him to be there for me, 1917 01:24:40,534 --> 01:24:41,951 - he essentially checked out. - Yeah. 1918 01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:44,579 I think it's just about picking your poison. 1919 01:24:44,580 --> 01:24:47,500 And I guess Tom is my poison. 1920 01:24:48,209 --> 01:24:50,084 Make sure you say all that in your vows. 1921 01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:55,841 And now, time for the $64,000 question. 1922 01:24:57,676 --> 01:25:01,554 Gail Elizabeth Daughtry, do you take Tom Soursap McNoodleman 1923 01:25:01,555 --> 01:25:04,641 to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, 1924 01:25:04,642 --> 01:25:06,017 for better or for worse, 1925 01:25:06,018 --> 01:25:09,271 in sickness and in health, till death do you part? 1926 01:25:16,904 --> 01:25:17,988 I... 1927 01:25:19,073 --> 01:25:20,115 Gail? 1928 01:25:27,206 --> 01:25:29,290 No, I... I'm... 1929 01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:31,793 Wow. I'm sorry. I don't want to marry you. 1930 01:25:31,794 --> 01:25:33,963 Oh! Thank God. 1931 01:25:35,214 --> 01:25:38,592 Tom, you have been my whole world. 1932 01:25:39,593 --> 01:25:44,556 But there's a whole universe out there waiting for me to explore. 1933 01:25:44,557 --> 01:25:48,853 There's celebrities, there's fancy hotels and unexpected friendships. 1934 01:25:49,353 --> 01:25:50,354 - Hello. - Hi. 1935 01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:54,984 I don't want to hurt you. 1936 01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,904 But I guess I have to, Tom. 1937 01:25:59,947 --> 01:26:01,699 Is this because of the Aniston thing? 1938 01:26:02,283 --> 01:26:05,160 Does it change anything if I told you I only half finished? 1939 01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:09,038 Gail! 1940 01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:15,504 Gail! 1941 01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:17,339 Gail! 1942 01:26:20,134 --> 01:26:21,759 - Gail! - Jon. 1943 01:26:21,760 --> 01:26:23,470 Ooh! 1944 01:26:24,722 --> 01:26:25,723 Jon. 1945 01:26:28,392 --> 01:26:29,851 What are you doing here? 1946 01:26:29,852 --> 01:26:32,979 Gail, you are the only woman I have ever met 1947 01:26:32,980 --> 01:26:36,108 who has made me feel good about being the real me. 1948 01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:39,820 And so I flew 1,400 miles in this balloon to tell you 1949 01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:42,447 I want to be with you. Forever. 1950 01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:44,533 Wow. Jon Hamm... 1951 01:26:45,659 --> 01:26:48,244 I never dreamed that I would see you again. 1952 01:26:48,245 --> 01:26:51,205 But as you can see, I'm just getting out of something. 1953 01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:52,457 Hey, Jon. 1954 01:26:52,458 --> 01:26:55,919 I'm definitely down to hang. Maybe we can keep it casual? 1955 01:26:55,920 --> 01:26:58,379 Oh, totally. Why don't we just keep it loose and freaky? 1956 01:26:58,380 --> 01:26:59,715 Loose and freaky sounds great. 1957 01:27:00,299 --> 01:27:01,300 Get in here. 1958 01:27:08,140 --> 01:27:10,016 Go, Gail, go. 1959 01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:13,395 Yes. 1960 01:27:17,983 --> 01:27:20,109 What the fuck is happening? 1961 01:27:35,209 --> 01:27:39,170 And if you're wondering what happened to Gail and Mr. Hamm... 1962 01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:40,296 I don't know. 1963 01:27:40,297 --> 01:27:43,592 He just picked her up on that balloon, and it's happening right now as we speak. 1964 01:27:44,343 --> 01:27:46,178 I mean, I'm not a fortune teller. 1965 01:27:47,054 --> 01:27:49,681 And if I'm being honest, when did it become my job 1966 01:27:49,682 --> 01:27:52,767 to spoon-feed you every little nuanced point in this story? 1967 01:27:52,768 --> 01:27:54,727 I mean, you're 35 years old, right? 1968 01:27:54,728 --> 01:27:56,730 You can figure out some stuff on your own. 1969 01:27:57,815 --> 01:28:00,108 I mean, to tell you the truth, I got a lot of problems of my own. 1970 01:28:00,109 --> 01:28:01,192 You know, not that you care, 1971 01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:03,403 because for you, it's all just, "Whatever happened to Gail?" 1972 01:28:03,404 --> 01:28:05,029 You know, "Gail, Gail, Gail." 1973 01:28:05,030 --> 01:28:06,155 Because not for nothing, 1974 01:28:06,156 --> 01:28:08,574 I've really been going through a lot of shit, you know? 1975 01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:11,412 Do you have any idea what it's like to have a blood clot in your leg? 1976 01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:14,414 It's a fucking nightmare, that's what it is. 1977 01:28:14,415 --> 01:28:16,833 And then my daughter, I don't want to even get into that shit. 1978 01:28:16,834 --> 01:28:20,086 She hasn't returned my phone calls in eight months. Eight months! 1979 01:28:20,087 --> 01:28:23,381 And then on top of that, there's this whole mishegoss with my roof. 1980 01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:26,592 The roofer, he said $600. Not a fucking penny more. 1981 01:28:26,593 --> 01:28:28,302 And he gave me a bill for double that. 1982 01:28:28,303 --> 01:28:30,847 This guy's a fucking criminal. He should be in jail. 1983 01:28:30,848 --> 01:28:34,600 Do not ever, ever hire Scott Lindhome to do anything in your house. 1984 01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:02,184 Gonna make you all sick. 1985 01:32:04,228 --> 01:32:07,606 I'mma make you all very sick. 1986 01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:13,320 Now get outta here before I change my mind and make you all real sick. 1987 01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:16,614 Enough questions. 1988 01:32:16,615 --> 01:32:20,285 Unless you want me to make you all very, very sick. 1989 01:32:21,245 --> 01:32:22,870 Nobody wants to get sick, right, fellas? 1990 01:32:22,871 --> 01:32:23,996 No, I definitely don't wanna get sick. 1991 01:32:23,997 --> 01:32:25,123 I just got over something. 1992 01:32:26,333 --> 01:32:28,709 Hey, I'm Scott Lindhome, Scott Lindhome Roofing. 1993 01:32:28,710 --> 01:32:32,213 Look, let me tell you, there are two sides to every story. 1994 01:32:32,214 --> 01:32:34,924 What our friendly neighborhood "mailman" forgets to mention 1995 01:32:34,925 --> 01:32:38,135 is the raccoon infestation living under his shingles. 1996 01:32:38,136 --> 01:32:39,971 God! What? Am I supposed to pay for that? 1997 01:32:39,972 --> 01:32:41,264 Are you out of your mind? 1998 01:32:41,265 --> 01:32:44,642 It's $600 for basic shingle replacement. 1999 01:32:44,643 --> 01:32:47,770 Look. See? "Surprises not included." 2000 01:32:47,771 --> 01:32:51,941 And by the way, $600 barely pays for the fucking nails. 2001 01:32:51,942 --> 01:32:54,735 You don't believe me? You head on down to Home Depot and check for yourself. 2002 01:32:54,736 --> 01:32:56,279 And don't tell me you don't got enough time. 2003 01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:58,864 'Cause I know for a fact you have not had a job since April. 2004 01:32:58,865 --> 01:33:00,866 Maybe I did charge him double, but you know what? 2005 01:33:00,867 --> 01:33:04,413 His fucking roof is gonna be watertight for the next 20 years, okay? 2006 01:33:04,913 --> 01:33:05,914 End of story. 2007 01:33:09,001 --> 01:33:11,460 Jeez. What the shit? 2008 01:33:14,965 --> 01:33:17,300 Hey, Scott, it's Gail Daughtry. 2009 01:33:17,301 --> 01:33:19,593 I probably haven't seen you since my mom and dad's funeral. 2010 01:33:19,594 --> 01:33:20,761 Anyway, crazy story. 2011 01:33:20,762 --> 01:33:22,555 I'm actually up in a hot-air balloon right now, 2012 01:33:22,556 --> 01:33:24,181 and I can see the roof of my house. 2013 01:33:24,182 --> 01:33:26,225 It is looking like it might need some maintenance. 2014 01:33:26,226 --> 01:33:28,144 What do you think? Anyway, no rush. 2015 01:33:28,145 --> 01:33:29,770 Just call me when you can. 2016 01:33:29,771 --> 01:33:31,940 This is Gail Daughtry... and the Celebrity Sex Pass.