Now it begins.
Hi, I'm Sarah McConnell.
Downloaded from YTS.BZ
I am 21.
I am a drama major here at Ramapo.
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ
My favorite color is Indigo.
This is test footage for Avery.
This is Avery's final project test footage.
And today, or well this weekend actually,
I am going to make a funny video with my friends.
Wait Avery, can you take a picture of this
and put it on Tumblr?
It could get like so many reposts.
And then we are gonna put it on YouTube.
The cool thing about YouTube is that people just put
whatever kind of videos they want to on there.
You know, in real life, if you said something weird,
then people would look at you and be like,
okay, you're weird.
Doctor, I think something's fucking wrong with my belly.
I'm fucking pregnant.
On YouTube, people who find that weird thing funny
will go to it.
I think that's awesome.
Wait, this is a better joke, ready?
Zork, help me.
I can't pass my stool.
(soft music)
The internet.
What the fuck, right?
What life online looks like today is a far cry
from its ambitious origins.
Even the first computers were massive
technological achievements,
but now these relics look like big plastic pieces of shit.
It's been less than 12 years since this computer
was state of the art, but it's been replaced so effectively
that we don't even have nostalgia
for this technological pioneer.
Our way of engaging with it is also changing.
I fear that we've grown so accustomed
to having the world in the palm of our hands
that we fail to appreciate what life was like
inside this box when it was new.
But this isn't a love letter to 2007,
and it's not a history of what makes the internet cool.
Viral baby animals, by the way.
And though this is about my first documentary,
this is not the story of how I got where I am today, no.
This is the story of the digital landscape
in a formative time through the eyes of three young women
discovering what this screen is truly capable of.
Where's our fucking nacho cheese?
Sarah McConnell was an incredibly ambitious girl with a great sense of humor.
Her infectious optimism inspired not only her team then,
but our team today.
We've commissioned the use of some of the technology
from restorative Beatles documentaries
in order to join her on her journey
and bring this story to life.
Now, some of you may say,
Avery, isn't that an egregious waste of resources?
And to that I say.
(soft music)
Okay, so I think the goal here is to make the funniest video possible.
So I've been brainstorming and I kind of put together some of the elements
of like funny videos that I think would work.
And so like, for example, there's this one where a guy is delivering a pizza
and then he gets hit by a car.
It sounds bad, but it's really good.
(car engine roaring)
(screaming)
That's what passed for a funny viral video in 2007.
Yeah, I love videos.
I'm just always watching videos. My parents definitely think that it's weird.
They just don't get it.
My dad honestly doesn't even care as much.
Like he's very like, you're an adult. You're about to be done with school.
Like, you know, if you want to fuck around
and waste your life forever, go ahead.
It's honestly, it's my mom that is a huge issue.
She's always like, you gotta be careful.
I think she's worried that there's a lot of access to strangers.
She just always thinks that there's like creepy old guys
trying to creep on me.
I'm in these like forum things. There's all these other girls that are my age.
And all we do is just like
talk about the things that we find funny and videos that we like.
And they're basically like my friends at this point.
Our researchers checked and confirmed with multiple sources
so that I can confidently say
all of the people she was talking to were middle aged men.
So to help me make the video, I have some friends that have agreed to help.
The first person is my cousin Gabby.
- Is this like for the movie thing? - Yes.
- Hello. - Hihihi.
We're gonna get interviewed and everything.
We're all gonna get interviewed?
Mm-hmm.
Ah, yeah.
I kind of like comedy most of the time.
I was in my college's improv team,
mostly because like with improv,
you don't have to do anything.
You're just gonna like show up.
So it's easy. I don't know.
It was kind of fucking stupid,
but it was good while I was there.
- What are you gonna say? - Well I don't know.
I'll probably talk about like the YouTube video and about like Faye and you.
What do you wanna say about me?
And Gabby is so cool.
I love Gabby.
And ever since she moved over here,
we have been like sisters
because we're both our parents', like only kids.
She's like the funniest person I know.
She's the kind of person where if you said,
should we do this?
She'd like actually do that.
So yeah, I think she's great.
I think she'd be perfect for this.
And my mom loves her too.
Could you tell them I'm the other one?
She never tells people that.
I'm also more interesting.
I gotta do this thing now for Sarah,
trying to help her.
Someone's got to.
She needs to be contained.
Or else she'll burst.
Take that out of my watch.
Pretty cool, no?
Borrowed it from the new kid at work.
Oh, you borrowed it.
- I borrowed it. - Right.
I mean, you stole it.
No.
The next person who's going to help me with the video
is my friend Faye.
♪ Sarah and Faye ♪
♪ Hanging out on the quad, keeping it real ♪
♪ Woo ♪
Sarah talks a lot about funny things
that she does with Gabby.
And I'm really excited because Sarah's really funny.
So, you know, I get to meet a lot of cool people
through her.
I met Faye here at Ramapo our freshman year.
And she's also in the drama department,
but she is a little bit shy.
And she wasn't really hanging out with people.
And then I started hanging out with her.
Not because I felt bad or anything like that.
It's just that I think she's really cool.
And I was like, I bet you that people just do not know
that she is cool yet.
Hey, do that funny thing you do.
(vocalizing)
I think it's going to be really fun
and it'll be a good time.
(vocalizing)
Wait, can you shut the fuck up?
Yeah, we're sorry. (Man shouts indistinctly)
We're sorry.
So Gabby and Faye are going to come over this weekend
and we are going to make a video.
Yeah, I'm excited. And my parents are out of the house.
So we can like actually use the house, you know?
But it's not like that they wouldn't let me do it before.
It's just, it's so weird to have them around.
Even if I was like 40, which I'm not, like you wouldn't want your parents around
if you were like having sex or something like that.
We're not planning on having sex with each other this weekend at all.
Like we're just trying to make a funny video.
- It's like the puppets have sex and stuff. - Oh.
It's really fun.
Okay, Gabby's here.
She's pulling up.
You're going to love her.
She's so fun.
Hi.
Hold up.
There's this guy I met at a work
who won't stop texting me.
He's like so into me.
What should I say?
- I'm thinking. - Okay.
Hey, I'm Faye.
It's really nice to meet you.
What's up?
Look at him, isn't he so cute?
What is he?
- Yeah. - Come here.
Now some of our younger viewers may think
that we are censoring this photo
in order to protect the man's identity, but no.
That's just what photo quality was like in 2007.
Wow, Gabby, he's super cute.
I know, right?
Yeah, what if you just said like,
what are you up to next week?
What are you, a virgin?
I'm not.
I'm going to say.
- So what are you going to do about it? - Whoa!!!
Oh.
Ugh.
Gross.
So what are we doing today?
Now that our key players have come together,
their story kicks off.
As they find their footing in collaboration.
Are you like rolling?
Okay.
Okay, so I think that we can get started.
What do you want us to do?
Right, so I was thinking maybe we could talk about
what our inspirations are,
what kind of video would we like to make?
Why are you asking it like a question?
I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just like,
now I feel weird.
Now I feel weird.
Okay, well what if you showed us
some of your favorite videos
and then we see what you think is funny
and we can all get on like the same page about it?
Perfect, I love that idea.
I do have a lot of videos that I like,
so it might take me a second to figure it out, but...
- I'm sure. - I'll be over here.
(soft music)
So do you like cool videos on the internet?
Oh I have this friend of mine,
she owns her own computer in this apartment
that she shares with this guy
and the other day they filmed a video of themselves
making out and they sold it to this man in Iowa for $300.
- Whoa, that's really cool. - Right?
And get that, she says that the next big thing is feet.
Yeah, I used the computer at school
for like that kind of stuff.
Just because my parents don't really like me using it at home.
They're like Sarah's where they don't really like me
posting random stuff online or messaging random people.
They just kind of think it's dangerous.
Okay, well Sarah's parents
are kind of weird about everything.
No, they're not weird about everything.
Sorry, you're 21 years old and you still have a curfew.
I don't have a curfew, they just don't like it
when I'm out later than I should be.
Well, what if you were at college,
you'd be out late all the time?
I am at college.
Well, you don't dorm,
so it's kind of like you're not.
Well, regardless, I found the videos I wanna show you.
Okay.
(vocalizing)
- Greetings earthling. - Ah!
Show me your best pants, and I'll consider letting you live.
You talked to the right earthling.
♪ Cool pants ♪
Huh...
Next.
- ♪ Cool pants ♪ - How?
So?
♪ Cool pants ♪
Is this what Earth has to offer? ♪ Cool pants ♪
(screaming) ♪ Cool pants ♪
Interesting.
But these are my coolest pants. ♪ Cool pants ♪
♪ Cool pants ♪
Is this enough, alien?
♪ Cool pants ♪ - Let me consult my little friend.
Little friend...
(speaking in foreign language) ♪ Cool pants ♪
That was awesome, what's that called?
It's called cool pants.
Isn't it like the funniest thing you've ever seen?
No, I like love that.
I know, I thought we could do something like that maybe.
Gabby, do you like it?
No, I mean, it was funny,
but I kind of feel like we could find something funnier.
Like what?
I don't know, it just kind of feels like
we would be way cooler and we'd get a lot more people
to watch it if we did something like weirder.
But I feel like that video was already pretty weird.
Yeah, it was weird because they tried to make it weird.
Like they forced it.
They clearly wrote that.
The funnier thing would be to not write that
and have something just kind of like happen.
You know, like the funny other stuff out there
is just stuff that's like accidentally weird.
What's accidentally weird?
Here, I'll show you, get up.
Okay.
My lady.
Okay, I'm trying to aim.
(indistinct)
Okay.
God!
(upbeat music)
(voices slowed down)
That is Jamie getting hit with an air soft gun.
This has been a badass 2001 production.
Peace out. This is Ben.
(upbeat music)
Oh god! (Laughing)
Oh, this one's really good too. (Indistinct)
Wait, that one's called bird bath fire?
Oh, I love that one. (Gun firing)
Wouldn't that kind of be harder to do something like that
because then we just have to like wait
- for something crazy to happen so? - Yeah.
Or we could make something crazy happen.
Like a prank.
Prank?
Gabby, we're not gonna find anybody
to prank out here, okay?
Can we just like go home and write something instead?
No, it'll be fine.
We'll find someone.
I don't think so.
I mean, the only people out here right now are like old people.
Yeah.
Well, look, these guys are our age.
We could talk to them.
Wait, who is that?
Come on.
That's Kyle O'Brien, shit.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, didn't you have a thing with him?
We were in the same stats class sophomore year
and then we went out into an early dinner one time.
Okay, well, you're gonna have to talk to him again.
Oh, guys, please.
- Can we just bother somebody else? - Avery.
Come here, get closer.
Hello, sir.
I don't know if you knew that,
but the literacy rates are down in the country
and Apple is trying to release their new product, the iCup,
but before they do, they wanna make sure
people can actually spell it.
So could you spell iCup for us, please?
What?
Apple's releasing a new product, the iCup,
to cover your junk.
They need people to spell it.
Can you spell iCup, please?
Why would they do that?
Lacrosse?
- Can you spell lacrosse? - No.
Can you spell iCup, please?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I-C.
Oh, hey, Sarah.
- Goddammit Sarah. - Oh, hi.
Who's that behind you?
Uh...
Hi, Kyle.
What's up?
Um, I didn't know you guys got off of school this early
on Fridays, so do we.
- Cool. - That's great.
Can you spell iCup, please?
So, do you guys like work for Apple this semester?
No, no, we're making a video.
Sarah.
And who are you?
This is my cousin, Gabby.
Fuckin' Jesus.
So do you want me to spell my phone number for you?
I wouldn't fuck you with your dad's dick,
- you fucking dipshit. - Okay, Gabby, all right.
Bye, sorry guys.
Bye, Kyle.
I think it was called like puppet suckfest or puppet orgy.
What was it?
Do you think that was weird?
Cause like, I feel like that was kind of embarrassing
and I'm thinking of like changing my look
and like kind of going for something like artsy
like Vanessa Carlton.
How would that be better?
Also, that guy sucks.
Faye, who cares?
You gotta know your worth.
- I wanted to show you guys something. - Okay.
There's this video that we've been all watching at work
over and over and over again.
It's my favorite right now.
It's so fucking funny.
Yay - Look at it.
Dude.
(farts)
Why would you do that?
I pooped on myself.
Don't do that.
You're scaring people. You...
(laughing)
Okay, I am starring that one.
- I am saving that one. - Yeah, save, yeah, I get that.
That's what happens when you listen to me.
- Okay. - So I was thinking we could go
- and we can find a guy similar (indistinct). - Sure.
And we could just do some sort of prank on him.
- Okay, so... - Like that.
Guys, guys,
- I don't think that this is random. - Look around here.
I think that they're planning it
because it's the same guy in every video.
What the fuck are you talking about?
No, it's not.
It's the same guy.
He's wearing the same thing.
Yeah, no, I get why you would think that,
but that's why it's funny
because they keep going at the same guy over and over again.
Like that's why it's good.
Don't you think he's in on it?
You're just young.
You're being a little naive. I thought the same thing at first,
but it's not, that's why it's funny.
They go at it and they make fun of him over and over again.
And he's like, "Stop it."
"Leave me alone."
"I'll go get you again."
He's just scared because they're following him around.
To our surprise, Gabby was right.
Not about this channel specifically,
they did stage all of their videos,
but internet culture would go in this direction.
An incredibly popular video format today
is just people bothering other people.
Playing the penis game in Central Park.
Penis.
What are you wearing today, man?
What are you wearing?
Penis.
Parkour.
Penis.
It's like, what is like your body count at right now?
(man gasps)
How did that come out?
I mean, it's funny, but I just don't think
that we should go find a guy.
We just did a prank, and if we find him again,
that's gonna be weird.
What about your dad?
Well, my dad's out of town.
- So we can't like prank him. - No, but we could like call him.
Because he's like weird, but he's not like that kind of weird.
And he's like goofy, so we could just like star 67.
- What? - And then...
Ew.
Like star 67, not like 69.
Not 69, so it's kind of like a prank.
- It's like anonymous. - Thing.
But we're not gonna do that,
because it's my dad, and I don't wanna like do that.
No wait, Sarah, this could be good.
Go get your phone.
Okay.
Okay, I guess we're prank calling my dad.
- So, I start with star 67. - Yeah.
- And then I'll dial the number. - You gotta do something
that'll really, really like shock him.
(together) Scare him.
So, what?
Tell him you died or something.
- That could be weird. - No!
- No, that feels too sad. - Could be good.
- What if we like... - A second...
- Like what if we... - No, oh wait, I have an idea.
I have an idea. Give me the phone.
Hello, you got Charlie McConnell here.
What can I do for you?
Hello?
Hi, hi there.
I'm down here at the tow yard.
And the car system sent over your car. It's under...
You're under arrest for not,
so, essentially we need $10,000 to
(mumbling) excuse me?
(fart sounds)
Now listen here, you psychos.
I don't know if you're trying to scare me
out of money or whatever,
- but extortion is (indistinct). - What? Sorry, no.
Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, no, it's me.
I'm sorry, it's Sarah and Faye and Gabby,
- and we were making a video pranking you. - What?
Hi, Mr. McConnell.
Hi.
Oh, Sarah Bear.
Oh, you got me.
I'm so sorry.
No, no, no, you girls are crazy,
but look, I want you to have fun.
Use the credit card for whatever you want, okay?
- Within the (indistinct). - Okay. Bye, bye.
Okay, I love you butt loads.
Bye-bye now.
More than a butt is the whole wide world.
And sorry, I mean, whatever, bye.
After failing with Gabby's more reality-based ideas,
Sarah and Faye were set on creating something themselves.
Gabby was only swayed after they agreed to write
something weird and gross enough for her standards.
Okay, what is something we can make
that is like gross, like a skit or something
that is, that something gross happens in it?
What if we're like chefs in a kitchen
and we cook something that looks normal at first,
- but it's actually really gross? - Ummm...
Like we can put like pubes in it or sandwich?
A pube sandwich?
Yeah, I don't think anyone's ever done something like this.
I like that.
Is there something funnier than a pube sandwich?
Like a dick sandwich?
It's like somebody is running and they're carrying hot soup
and then they spill it and they're like,
oh no, my peel-off soup.
That...
What's that supposed to be a joke about?
- Hila, like what if it's like made of pee? - What about cum?
What if the soup was cum?
Help me, I have cum soup all over me.
It's just protein, you can get that anywhere,
you can just eat it.
Sorry, you just eat cum?
(indistinct)
Gabby just eats cum alert.
Why did you even invite me here?
Why do I always get dragged into this stuff?
Because it's actually fun.
We could just do the pube sandwich.
- It is really good. - I know.
Less complicated than the other stuff, pube sandwich.
Yeah.
- Perfect. - They could be curling.
Can you get fake pubes?
- Yeah. - There we go.
My (indistinct), getting the fake pubes.
Do you know Ben Stein?
Ben Stein?
Yeah, he's like a year below us.
Isn't he in a wheelchair?
That's Richie Stein.
Why are there so many Steins?
And like none of them are related?
Or Jewish.
It doesn't make any sense to me.
Maybe it's a mob.
Gabby, please do not do that in here.
What?
Put it out.
What, the cigarette?
Yes.
Sarah, are you kidding me?
You're 21 years old.
Smoke doesn't linger that long.
I mean, if we're down here,
then maybe the smoke doesn't care.
Smoke literally goes up.
It goes up.
Probably get just trapped in the cushions and then...
And then it all smells like that.
You're home alone, you should do whatever the fuck you want, or.
- Gabby, oh my gosh, Gabby. - Just lemme do whatever the fuck I want.
Don't do it in here, okay?
Just cook some onions and some,
look at what you did.
Cook some onions.
Do you want one?
Oh no, I'm all right.
I don't really smoke.
What are you, 12?
No, I just haven't done it.
You've never smoked?
Not yet.
Well then you should try.
I don't really do that stuff, so.
What stuff?
Gabby, if she doesn't want to do it,
she doesn't have to do it.
I just mean like smoke and drink.
You don't drink?
Been to a couple parties and had a few.
That's crazy, you're friends with Sarah
and you don't drink.
Yeah, but Sarah doesn't really drink that much either.
Yeah, not really.
What?
That's crazy, when we were in high school,
you used to go wild.
Well sure, yeah, but that was high school.
And I don't know, after sophomore year,
I just sort of didn't do it anymore.
Also, when Faye and people from our class,
like when we all hang out, we don't really like
do anything, we kind of just hang.
Okay, well then I know what we should do tonight.
No, no, no, no, no.
Come on guys, I really want to write this thing
and I really want to like get it done by tomorrow.
- So I don't want to... - Yeah, okay, me too.
But if we drink, it'll get us loose,
it'll get the creative juices flowing, it'll be great.
When I was in college, I was part of this improv group.
And we used to get like drunk all the time and do it.
That one time, I got so fucked up
and then I did this whole sketch where I had to rob a bank.
What happened in the scene?
I don't remember, but it was really great.
It was so good, I laughed the whole time.
Now, we only ever got pictures of Gabby
performing with her improv troupe,
but by all accounts, I think it's safe to say
that she was an absolute pain in the ass to perform with.
In fact, because of her, her college implemented a rule
that sketches cannot contain a real bite.
All right, ladies, so to really get this shit going,
we're going to want to shotgun these, okay?
Especially Faye.
I don't really think that's a good idea
because I've heard that it can be kind of dangerous.
Listen to me, Faye, nothing's gonna happen to you.
I promise you, just fucking take it.
Okay, but my friend from Psych 101 said that she knows
a girl whose boyfriend was in this frat with his other guy
and he shotgunned a beer and then he died.
Kind of feel like there should be more to that story.
He died from shotgunning a beer, he died.
No, he probably died from something else
that they're not telling you.
You don't just die from fucking beer.
What else could have happened?
I don't know, maybe he died from fucking AIDS.
Sarah, what the fuck are you talking about?
I am just trying to lighten the mood.
With AIDS?
Sorry, I just had a cigarette.
It's making me feel very weird.
- And I don't know. - Don't fucking joke
about AIDS, it's fucking offensive,
so don't be fucking retarded.
I wanna remind everyone that this was a different time.
Jesus, you can't die from fucking shotgunning a beer.
Okay, but I know that guy who did.
You can find a guy who died of anything
if you tried hard enough.
Huh, that is true.
It's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fun.
- Let's do it. - Okay, fine.
But you have to keep rolling the whole time just in case.
I don't know how to do this, so somebody else has to.
- Oh! - Tilt it up, tilt it up.
(upbeat music)
Okay.
- Yes, go, go, go. - Go, go!
Coming out of my nose.
(screaming)
(burping)
Yeah, I just grabbed more beers with me.
And then well, and then, it'll be great.
I just grabbed one (indistinct).
This is my tea cover.
Okay, that was actually awesome.
(coughing)
Now, you may think that that was a strategic bit
of cutting, but nope.
Faye just managed to vomit on herself
and start sobbing in the 30 seconds that the camera was cut.
I can't breathe.
- Drowning. - Yes, you can.
There's no water, you're not drowning.
Sarah, you're using the whole paper towel.
I don't wanna touch it, I don't wanna touch it.
I need a layer so I don't have to touch it.
I can't breathe at all.
- I'm drowning, Gabby. - Sweetie, you're literally...
- Shut the fuck up, you stupid fucking bitch. - Oh my god!
(crying)
Avery, can you help or something?
I wanna die.
I'm dying.
What the fuck are you talking about?
We have to keep your head up
so you don't Kurt Cobain on us, okay baby?
I don't even know who that is.
Don't yell.
I'm not yelling.
You're yelling. (Gasping)
Gabby, this is all your fault.
I'm drowning.
Gabby.
And here's a towel.
Okay, she's good now.
- You're like the BFG. - Yes.
Friendly giant.
You're so friendly.
Okay, come just gonna like sleep and be here forever.
No, please don't sleep, we have to write the video, okay?
- Don't, just let her sleep. - No.
Just let her sleep, she's fine, please sleep.
I'm trying to get her to sleep for a fucking hour.
I've been trying to write this video all day.
I'll write this video with you, just let her sleep.
Fine.
Sarah, let the fuck off.
Okay, get off buddy.
Okay.
She touched my vagina.
Somebody has to.
Oh, (indistinct).
Okay, god.
Now they only had until the next day
before Sarah's parents came back home,
so time was of the essence.
Okay, so I think the video has to start with like
some really fancy kind of like business guy
coming into the restaurant, like he's probably wearing
a suit, like a fancy guy eating pubes, that's a prank.
Yeah, exactly, and then I think he's like
probably English or something and he's like,
"Oh, hello Madame, could you please give me
your greatest food dish that you got?"
I don't know, something like that.
That was actually pretty good.
Really?
Yeah.
Who do we know like a guy who can do a voice like that?
Uh.
Oh, what about Gabe DiFilippo?
No, he's kind of awkward, what about like,
oh, I have my friend Josh, who's from camp.
He's like really, really funny, he's very talented,
he could definitely do the voice.
Sarah, did you fuck Josh?
Ew, what, why would you ask that?
Because that's what everybody does at camp.
No, not my camp, it was like musical theater camp,
we take that really seriously.
In France camp is literally people going
for sleepovers at their friend's house
and then fucking their au pair.
All right, well, Josh, I think will be great for the video
and he already has a YouTube video that's totally blown up.
Look, see, he has like 70,000 views and 340 subscribers.
That's like the most ever, like he's so famous.
That's fucking insane,
- just like like Oprah views. - I know.
Yeah, okay, and his video is so funny,
you're gonna love it, look.
Dang, grandpa, your toilet stinks.
I know that, it's supposed to stink.
That's what bathrooms do after somebody makes a dump.
Now please get out.
God, grandpa, what the hell?
I'm your special boy, you hurt your special boy.
By the way, I better not see any of this on YouTube,
their tube, anything, do you understand?
- Okay, that was pretty good. - Isn't that good?
His grandpa's hot.
- What, no, okay. - He's hot.
Well, whatever, we'll call Josh,
he'll come over, he'll make it perfect.
Okay, so, - Oh, and then maybe we can be like,
here's your dish, sir, from the deepest,
most southern part of Italy.
Right, because it's like a dick, like the dick area,
I fucking love that, I'm like pubes, pubic...
- We're like... - Oh, hi.
We're like talking about it
and we're like, put our chef's hats on
and then we're like, oh, before we eat,
like Mr. Sir, do you wanna like eat my balls?
She's so drunk.
- No... - Faye, can you go to the couch please?
You gotta lay down.
What if like, when she was throwing up,
that it like cut off circulation to her brain
and it bled and like, she has like brain damage now
- or something, she's acting crazy. - She's not brain damaged, Sarah.
She's fucking drunk.
Well, I don't know, I feel like now I have to just like
call a doctor and...
You can't just call a doctor at 2 a.m.
- Well, I have to be up with her. - I'm fine.
Can you go sit on the couch?
Go sit, just sit.
Sit.
This is a disaster.
No, you know what, Gabby, go home,
you don't have to babysit us, okay?
I'll just stay up with her all night.
We won't make the fucking video tomorrow, whatever.
No, it's fine, we're gonna make the video, okay?
She's gonna go to bed, I'll stay here, I'll sleep over,
I'll help you, we'll make it happen.
Let's just take shifts, okay?
I'll just take the first one,
because I need to sleep, I'm fucking tired.
Go lay down.
- Oh, whoa. - (Indistinct) Oh, my God.
Gabby?
Gabby!
Yes, yes, what?
I finished.
I finished the script.
- Oh, that's great. - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm so happy for you.
Yay!
- Yay. - Script is done.
- Yeah. - Okay.
I'm gonna go to bed now, okay?
No, you have Faye duty.
Yeah, in a bit.
Continue, you're doing so well.
Amazing video accomplished.
With Faye guaranteed to be alive,
and what they considered to be a finished script,
the group began to prepare for the day's shoot.
Okay, Gabby's in the shower,
usually takes her 45 minutes,
but she said it's only gonna take her 20 this time,
because our shower head moves, so that's great.
Faye isn't drunk any,
shh, Faye is not drunk anymore.
And Josh is on his way from Muncie,
so he should be here in about 30 minutes,
and my parents will be here in a couple hours,
so we will have enough time to make the video and edit it,
and yeah, I guess you could say everything's going perfect.
Hey, Sarah.
Oh, and yeah, Tommy's here.
Tommy is, of course, gonna help us with the video,
and he came super early.
So, hey, Tommy.
Is this your parents' book or yours?
It's my parents' book.
Nice.
Yeah, so Sarah and I took all the same film classes
in school, and I got points on all the rubrics
for my camera work and transitions and stuff,
so she asked if I'd help her with that for a YouTube video.
You know, and she's pretty cool,
and YouTube's pretty cool,
so I think it sounds like it could be fun.
I don't know, she's really funny,
and her friends are really funny,
and I'm not normally funny,
or I don't try to be all the time,
so I just hope I can help,
or I'll mess it up, I guess.
You can read it if you want.
Like, borrow it?
No, I just, I mean, you can read it while you're here.
No, I don't think I'd be able to finish it, but thanks.
Where are the Ziploc bags?
(phone ringing)
Oh, um,
okay, yeah, it is my parents.
They did say they were gonna call and check in on us,
so no worries, but everyone just shut the fuck up, okay?
Yeah, everyone just shut the fuck up.
Hi, Mom.
Oh, uh, yeah.
How's it going, honey, everything good?
Yeah, no, everything's good, we're all having fun,
and we're gonna get the video done in time, so yeah.
That's nice, did you vacuum the basement rug like I asked?
It's getting old.
Yes, I know, I vacuumed, I did.
Okay, because it catches crumbs, it's hard to get out.
No, I know, I did do it.
Okay, how's Gabby doing?
I'm good, Linda.
That's good, how do you stay out of trouble?
I won't.
(laughing)
(indistinct)
I know, I know, yeah, she should, that'd be awesome.
Okay, well, we have to go.
Don't hang up, your father wants to say hi, too.
How's it going, honey?
You really should have seen the hotel, I mean, really nice,
but the point is, full breakfast, I mean,
like whatever you wanted, ah!
Yeah, that's so cool, Dad.
So are you excited about the big video for your class?
It's fun, we're all making a skit, a funny skit.
Oh, my daughter's a regular skit-so, huh?
No, you can't say stuff like that, Dad,
like people actually have that, so.
Hey, hey, you're lucky I'm even trying to like
give a shit about whatever the hell it is
that you're doing over there.
I don't need this shit when I'm fucking trying.
You think my father ever asked when I was up to?
He didn't give a shit, that is who my father was.
So you're lucky, bitch, that I am giving a flying fuck
about what you and your moron friends are working on
because you're idiots.
My own father didn't want to help me through
the fact that my balls weren't dropping,
so please spare me the diatribe.
When I'm trying to fucking connect with you, okay?
I got enough of that shit from your bitch mother.
Sorry, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
The rental, the rental, the rental, it's just crap,
it's just awful.
Anyway, I love you, kiddo.
Okay, yeah, I love you too, bye.
All good, all good in the neighborhood, everything's awesome.
Okay, now all we have to do is just wait for Josh.
What?
Okay, I just, I don't remember writing any of this.
Well, yeah, that's because you were half dead
the whole time.
But, okay, like this line here, why would I say that?
Because it's funny.
What are you guys fighting about?
I just feel like we could make the script better.
What?
Every line in there is gold.
I guess, I don't know, I just...
No, we don't have time to rewrite it,
plus I didn't even save it on the computer,
so we'd have to redo the whole thing.
What? Why wouldn't you save it?
Because I share the computer with my parents,
we know this, okay?
And they get all weird about it,
and I don't want to explain it to them,
it's more trouble than it's worth.
- What? - (Indistinct) it even mean?
It's important to note that back when the middle class
actually existed, most families had one desktop
computer shared between all of the members.
While there was the ability to create different profiles,
most families weren't tech savvy enough
to actually utilize it, so anything that you did
on the computer could be seen by your parents.
Imagine, if you will, sharing one iPhone
between an entire family.
That's what life was like, until around 2010.
(bell ringing) Josh is here.
Yeah, we know.
I know, I was just saying it for the movie.
(gasping)
Josh!
You rang.
Josh, I mean, you rang, if anything.
God, nothing gets past you, does it, kid?
Rude!
Come on, bring it in.
Sucks.
It was clear that not everyone shared Sarah's enthusiasm
for Josh.
Suburban theater kids often fall into a hierarchy,
and none is so powerful as the straight white boy
who is mildly charismatic or talented.
Talented, of course, being a sliding scale here,
you don't need to have a viable theater career,
you just need to be better
than all of the other boys at camp.
Once you establish yourself as one of the good ones,
you become something of a minor celebrity
in your niche and unimportant circle,
wielding an enormous sexual power.
So this is Josh.
As you all know, he has a very famous YouTube video,
I bow down to you, and yeah, he's doing theater
in college, and how is that going, by the way?
Ah, thank you for the intro, ma'am.
- And uh... - Sir.
Pleasure, pleasure, extra special pleasure,
crew matters.
I, God, where to begin?
I can't begin to know when.
Yeah?
Seriously, no, it is been going really great.
I'm still like doing shows in college.
Yeah.
And we actually just learned that we're going to be doing.
Spring Awakening next semester.
Whoa.
That's actually kind of a different one.
So there is a song in it, and it is called Totally Fucked.
Oh my God, like they say fucked, like in the musical.
In a full musical.
Like they say fucked in the musical.
In a musical.
Like your grandparents will see.
Yeah, if they make the terrible mistake of seeing it,
because I'm not gonna be able to talk to them after.
You guys are freaking out right now.
You're texting mom, like pick me up, please.
She is.
He's like, oh, okay, get this sweat,
because this crazy man is on top of me.
Seriously, though, it really is,
I really always relish the opportunity to work with material
that's just more mature, you know?
I really wish I was still doing shows like that.
- I mean, yes, that would be great. - Yeah.
But you know, you got this now anyway, right?
Yes, now I got this, this is kind of my thing.
Well, let me ask, are you ready to handle the spotlight
of an internet superstar?
Wow, um...
Thank you, but no, yeah,
I'm not really thinking about that.
Like I don't need to be famous or anything.
I mean, I just presumed you wanted people to actually,
you know, see the thing.
Yes, yes, no, I do.
I think that's the main thing actually,
is being seen at all, you know,
and just sharing it with people.
Okay, okay, okay, this isn't Oprah, my dear.
Oh, I'm crying.
Yes, she is, she is.
She's like, where am I?
Am I on Oprah right now?
- I'm like, here's my life story, Ms. Oprah. - Yeah and I'm like...
You are not on Oprah, right?
You stay alive, we've lost her.
This is what today is gonna be.
Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of this.
But before we play,
I'm just wondering what is this video again?
Yes, so you're gonna love it.
It's very dark, twisted,
it's, you know, about the American dream in a way.
It's kind of a play on a sketch,
- sort of pushing... - Oh, God.
You eat pubes.
What?
Oh, hey, Avery.
Hey, so, like, what are you doing with this?
What?
Nevermind.
Oh, you were gonna say, how do I use the camera?
I was gonna, yeah.
Cool, yeah, so,
usually at school we get to use, like,
you know, the nice cameras that you're using,
but Sarah said that this isn't gonna be a thing
that she uses for school,
- she's gonna use it for... - Here's the kitchen.
- Yeah. - Her?
All right, well, Sarah, I am all ready,
so where do you want me?
Where do you need me?
Okay, so, you're gonna start outside the front door,
and then when we say we're ready,
you're gonna open the front door,
you're gonna come in, say your line.
And yes, and how will you tell me that through the door?
Oh, okay, right,
because the door of the house falls.
Okay, how about you open the door before we even start,
and then we are like, okay,
we're gonna start in, like, five seconds,
and then you close the door, and then, count to five,
and then you open the door again,
and that, yeah, that should work.
Mm-hmm, yeah, and it totally could work.
Just one thought is,
it just feels like maybe that could take me out of it
a little bit.
What do you mean?
Well, I just, I presume that you would like me
to stay in character, right?
Oh, of course.
Of course, so.
Yeah.
You say that, I hear that, I process that,
and I think, okay, so if I have to open the door,
and then close the door, and then open the door again,
that's just a lot of business for me to be doing as Josh.
And then that doesn't really give me much time
to get back into character.
- Right, right. - Right.
Okay.
Yeah, day of mistakes, right?
How do we fix that?
Oh, um,
okay.
Oh, okay, well, you know, no bad ideas in collaboration,
but maybe one of them could open and close it for me.
One of what now?
- Yes, that's perfect. - Yeah?
I don't fucking work for him.
No, that'll be great.
Uh-oh, heard an F-bomb.
(laughing)
- Well, that is amazing. - Great.
And thank you, everyone,
for your help and participation.
Thank you for your acting.
I'm gonna go back now, and,
okay, you're about to murder me, but
- prepare, right? - Oh my god!
- An actor prepares! - That's amazing.
The technique.
When she explains, you'll laugh.
That's kind of funny, my parents got me this camera
so that I could use it for things outside school,
which is kind of what we're doing here.
- What? - I don't know, it's just like,
I feel like he thinks he's better than us,
or acting above us or something.
I mean, he did win Mr. Showbiz at Vassar this year.
Okay, but what does that even mean?
Well, it means he's like a real, actual actor.
I mean, why else would his YouTube video be doing so well?
Because his grandpa's hot.
Ew.
- All right. - Are we doing this?
Yes, yes, we are doing this.
Do you have the fake pubes?
Okay.
Here they are.
Okay.
That is like really gross.
I know, it's gonna be so funny.
Wait, sorry, where did you get these?
Don't worry about it.
- Oh my God. - Ew!
- Oh God. - Gabby!
So fucking dramatic.
Oh my God, are you psycho?
Psycho? You're a psycho.
I thought you wanted this to be funny.
Well, we can't make someone eat that.
What if like Nan-nan saw this or something?
Why the fuck would Nan-nan see this?
I feel like it'll still be funny if it's fake hair.
Yeah, we don't have any fake hair.
Okay, fine, then I'm gonna go find something.
Oh gosh.
I worked hard on this, you know.
Don't look at me.
Okay, fine, we're just gonna use this.
What the fuck is this?
Did you get that out of the sink?
Yes.
Do you think that steel wool looks like pubes?
I don't know.
I don't know, okay?
But we gotta use something, okay?
And we're gonna use this.
It's gonna be so lame.
It's gonna be so fun.
Okay, we're gonna start recording now.
Excellent.
Okay.
(clears throat)
Hello!
(all yelling)
I have heard that this is one of the finest
dining establishments in town.
(indistinct)
And you are the food critic.
And you're going to the restaurant.
- Yes, I do. - Yes...
Yes, we can't wait to serve you.
Well, do you gents have a table ready for me?
I must say I have heard excellent things
about your signature dish.
Yes, we make it from the finest ingredients in Italia,
where the moisture region in the south,
where the cucumbers are hard and long.
Oh, what? What?
- And getting... - No, stop, cut, Tommy, cut.
Everyone was surprised Faye had decided to improvise
on what they'd developed to be an airtight script.
While Faye was trying to construct jokes,
her collaborators were much more interested
in throwing shocking words and phrases into the bit.
This was a phenomenon common at the time
known as lol random humor.
We are in space.
You suck, sandwich!
It's, you know, it's not very good.
You're...
So you're not actually really supposed to improvise
unless it is specifically prefaced in the script.
It's actually like really unprofessional, actually.
I just thought it was like kind of funny.
Yeah, (indistinct) that was funny, it was great.
I loved the energy, I'm loving the instincts there.
But Josh is right, and it probably just surprised him
and kind of like scared him.
Scared?
I guess you could call it that.
I thought it was really funny.
Thanks, that's nice.
- Hey, Sarah? - Yeah.
Is this the kind of set you're gonna run?
She doesn't run this, we all do.
No, no, no, I mean listen, he is right
and we shouldn't be adding extra lines.
We should just do what we wrote.
We don't have a lot of time, so can we just like
move on to the next scene?
We can like cut out the last line.
Oh, I did it swing, I said, oh.
Oh, I didn't know, oh.
Excellent, now should I have a menu?
Oh, that won't be necessary, Sarah.
Yeah, so we want you to have our finest dish.
It's our signature sandwich, a BLT,
bush lettuce and tomatoes.
Faye.
- I literally just said that. - Tommy...
Tommy, can you cut?
Guys, you think it's time to make our special sandwich.
(Gabby speaking in foreign language)
- Yeah. - Okay, first the bread.
Oh.
And then the lettuce.
Oh, oh.
Then the bread and the tomatoes.
Oh.
Tomatoes!
And then the cheese.
The cheese.
Ah.
And then the gabagool.
Oh.
Sitting at a restaurant waiting on a sandwich.
Tea and crumpets, shrimp on the barbie.
Sarah.
I'm going all the way on the secret ingredient.
The secret ingredient.
Oh.
It's a time.
Oh.
The fucking pubes.
Oh.
He will never see it coming.
He's going to shit his pants.
Ole!
- Ah. - Si!
Ooh, do, dee, dee, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Do, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
Here is a sandwich.
Well, I must say this one looks a little different.
Oh, don't worry.
It is just a delicious sandwich.
- Yes, it's just a thick bite. - Ole!
Mm, yum.
What?
- What? - No.
I don't know, what?
You're actually supposed to try to eat the thing.
Yeah.
What?
How would I even do that?
That would be gross.
Duh, that's the fucking point.
But that's disgusting.
But it's also funny.
Sarah, can you just make 'em stop?
- She doesn't tell us what to do. - Okay.
Is this a turn the camera off moment
or fun banter, leave it running?
Jesus, turn it off, Tommy.
I didn't do anything wrong today.
Okay, listen, Josh, you have to take an actual bite
of the sandwich that's sort of the whole point of the video.
Okay, but like this is a skit.
So why is something that's gross the actual point?
Because it's both.
It's a prank and a skit.
It's a prank skit.
It's different.
Different like good or different like bad?
Oh, think of it as a twist on the common form.
Twist on the common form you say.
Twist on the common form I say.
Okay, yeah, aces.
All right, yeah, okay, so see, so that, - Yeah.
Gals, is why you do something, right?
That is what we call motivation.
Thank you.
Yes, of course.
All right, let's do it.
Okay, let's go back in, Tommy.
Okay, Tommy, so I need you to get in really close
to his face so we can really get his reaction, okay?
- Not like that, dumb-ass. - Jesus.
Oh, be nice, he's helping.
That was so close.
Okay, Tommy, so like, yeah, right there's perfect, okay?
Josh, I really need you to take an actual bite
of the sandwich, okay?
For art.
Got it?
All right.
Okay, all right, I'll call action, okay?
All right, here goes nothing.
And action.
Hmm.
Oh, oh, fuck.
Oh my fucking God, you're still like fucking shit
and stuff, what the?
(gagging)
Fuck, fuck all of you, what the fuck?
(gagging)
Oh my God, oh God.
That was so fucking good!
Tommy, please tell me you got all of this?
Yeah, I'm good at this.
Fuck yes!
Oh my God, I can't believe this, I'm like shaking.
We got it, it's perfect.
Oh my god.
- It's perfect. - It's perfect.
Tommy, you and I, we gotta get to editing right away.
- Right now. - Thank you all so much
for doing this, oh my God, this is amazing!
(laughing)
Hmm, hmm.
What?
Yeah, I think right here would be the best place
to start the skit.
Editing this type of video was particularly simple
back then.
Frankly, I don't know why Sarah asked Tommy to help.
All you needed to do to edit was put the clip
in order, which they already were
because they shot in sequence,
but Tommy made a real meal of the process.
Honestly, I'd never seen that boy emote a day in his life
until this very moment.
You mean from the beginning of the clip?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But we're gonna wanna trim just like a few seconds off
like right here because timing and things like this
is absolutely everything.
I don't do this a lot, but I just had this crazy idea.
What if we started this skit with like a little bit
of a zoom in shot on pubes?
That is awesome as long as it's loaded up.
You could just plug it in right away.
Yeah, awesome.
- Okay, so how about... - It's not gonna take long?
No, yeah, not at all.
How much time do we have today?
- Not a lot of time, as I can... - Oh...
Oh, that is too zoomed in on your nose.
Okay, no, I got it out, don't worry.
You got my nose out?
This is a kind of take we're probably not gonna wanna use
actually.
The one where we mess up?
Yeah, you don't usually put takes in the video
where you mess up.
So let's use one where we don't do that.
Okay, we're very close to being done,
but something that I was thinking about,
what if we had like sort of quick shots of everyone
in the video just like at the very beginning,
almost like visual opening credits?
No, sorry, I said that so fast.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
that's so fine, no, this is yours.
Okay, it's so close, we are very close. Like...
- It's fine. - Yeah, you're... Thank you.
Just touch there.
Perfect, okay, just put your names in.
Okay.
- Okay, there's our names. - Wait, one sec.
Oh, no.
All right, unless there's anything you wanna change,
I think we have a finished.
- Perfect, thank you, Tommy. - Skit right here.
If there's nothing else you wanna do,
- I think we have... - Absolutely nothing else.
- This is great. - Yep.
- Thank you. - We're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, let me know if there's anything else you need.
No, thank you, bye.
No, okay, yeah.
This was really fun and...
Bye, thank you so much.
I've never wished for death.
And now, it was time to post the video.
The girls got together to flesh out the final details
and celebrate their achievement.
They thought that this would be more or less
the final step.
Hey, Aunt Linda.
Thanks, Miss McConnell, thanks for having us.
- Hello. - Hello.
Hello, we can...
- How you doing? - Welcome to the studio.
Please take a seat.
Did you line these up like that?
I did set these up
- specifically for this moment. - It's like really professional.
Well, it's a big moment, okay.
So, all I have to do is I have to put in my email address.
I'll use my school email address
and we will have a channel.
Oh my God.
This is so crazy.
I can't even believe we're actually doing this.
I know.
So, what should we call our channel?
The three of us.
Maybe something with like, gooches in it.
Like, The Gooches.
What's a gooch?
You don't know what a gooch is?
Okay, can you maybe get a little quieter here?
My parents are here and I want them to like,
hear what you're saying.
Why, you don't even know if it's bad.
- Well, is it bad? - Yeah.
Get mad and flustered before you even know what the thing is.
Guys, I think I have an idea.
Yeah, what's up?
So, I was kind of thinking like,
maybe like, the beef curtain boys.
I think it's good.
I like it when she gets those little ideas
out of her pigtails.
- Thanks. - Adorable.
Fuck yes, the beef curtain boys.
I love that, okay.
And title of the video.
This is easy, I was thinking something like,
incredibly fancy businessman gets shock of his life
when a pubic hair is in a sandwich.
- Done. - That's a book.
It's a little long, I would say.
Yep.
You'll never believe what they ate.
- Pube sandwich. - It's a pube sandwich.
Chic, simple, pube sandwich.
- Okay, big moment. - This is it.
(vocalizing)
- Okay, we'll do it at the same time. - I'm gonna click on it. 1, 2, 3...
Okay, ready?
Three, two, one.
Okay, and all right, maybe more like seven hours.
This is amazing.
We gotta tell people.
I'm gonna tell everybody at my job.
They'll love it, they love stuff like that.
It's gonna be fucking great.
We should tell people in the quad - Fuck yeah.
And then they'll tell their friends.
Yes, amazing.
But can you just not tell Aunt Tracy or anything
because I don't want it getting back to my parents?
Why would I tell my mom about things like that?
I don't tell my mom shit.
Cool.
Would they really be that weird about it?
I feel like you just didn't want them to know
we were using the house.
It's just that they don't get this stuff
- and I don't wanna... - Sarah tells them everything.
I don't wanna explain this.
Like internet stuff?
Don't worry about it.
They aren't ever going to know and it's fine.
Okay, how about we get some food?
Now it seemed like everything had gone off without a hitch
but a few days later I got a call from Sarah.
I don't know why but I instinctively knew
that I should record it and it's incredibly important
that I did because everything about this story
was about to change.
Hey Avery, yeah, what's up?
So you said you know about YouTube and stuff, kind of, right?
Yeah, kind of.
Why?
What's happened?
I don't know, I'm just like really scared with things
that are happening through the video.
Can you just like, can you come over?
I don't know, I'm just like scared.
Yeah, sure, I'll be there in like 20 minutes.
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Sorry, sorry, I'm just like, I'm kind of freaking out.
There's like so many more thumbs down.
Yeah, I um...
Everyone's just commenting really bad stuff.
Like this one just says, fuck this.
One says fake, fake as shit.
One just says bitches, I don't know.
I just, I'm really scared.
I don't really know what's going on.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah, you're right, that's a good idea.
Do you know what reply videos are?
In the early days of YouTube, there was a feature
where users could reply to videos
with videos of their own,
much like the TikTok stitches of today.
Usually it was just a girl in a tank top
with big boobs going like, I liked the video,
but sometimes it was much, much worse.
Hey, so I just watched the stupidest fucking video
of all time, it's called "Pube Sandwich".
"Pube Sandwich".
The "Pube Sandwich" video, right?
What the fuck was that?
That was the worst video I've ever seen in my entire life.
Women talking about pubes, it is disgusting.
This is what women today are doing.
I didn't even know they were allowed to do that,
to be honest.
One time I went on a date with this girl who had pubes.
(speaking foreign language)
Never again.
I watched about 10 seconds of it.
How fucking disgusting you are.
I threw up.
It's just crass and below the line.
Women in the kitchen, but what they cookin'?
Pubes.
Watch it on mute.
And then it's just a bunch of hot babes.
First of all, women don't have pubes.
(interposing voices)
I'm gonna play this little game
before I head out of here, it's called "Fuck Mary Kill".
I'd probably kill them all.
She called Gabby and Faye over
to try to figure out a solution.
But they didn't quite understand the scope
of what was happening.
Sarah, what the fuck, what's wrong?
Have you seen the comments?
What?
They're all like really, really, really bad
and they're really scary.
Okay, well it's okay, not everybody's gonna like everything
and people who will like it will see it soon,
so that's okay.
It's like some of them are really, really gross
and like, one even says like,
hey, which one of them would you bang?
Well, what were the answers?
- Gabby, what the fuck? - Okay, sorry.
- I don't care, whatever. - It's not funny.
Who cares? Sarah, they're just assholes on the internet.
No, I'm really, really sorry you guys,
I just, I wanted to do something fun
and now you guys are involved
and I feel so bad, I'm so sorry.
These are like, they're so like really bad.
I honestly don't even know what to say to these.
Just tell them to go fucking die in a fucking car crash, or something.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Just get up, just stay with her.
I just don't think that you should do that
because you know, commenting or responding
could actually make things worse.
Yeah, well if they wanna be assholes, so can I.
You're a stupid fucking virgin,
how about you go get fucked so you don't die
- a fucking virgin, virgin bitch? - God, Gabby...
Okay, it's okay, it's all gonna die down
and you know, people who think that we're funny
are gonna find the video and they're gonna like it
and they're gonna subscribe and it's all gonna be fine.
Oh my god, is it normal that my stomach hurts?
Why does my stomach hurt?
It's just anxiety.
Ugh.
Guys?
Do you know what 4chan is?
The video had been posted to 4chan,
a website where yes, many memes originated
but that was also known as a vile place
where some of the most horrendous rumors
and cyberbullying would occur.
If you got yourself in 4chan's crosshairs,
you could find yourself dealing with
what was essentially the internet's Illuminati.
Sarah, who's justboy3232?
What?
Come look at this.
(footsteps)
Oh my god, he said,
I know this bitch Sarah from high school,
she was always so fucking annoying.
At least I know where she lives.
And then somebody asked for my address.
What?
Did someone give it to them?
No, it doesn't look like it but somebody did say
they wanna try to kill your parents.
Oh my god, oh my god.
- This is really bad. - Oh my god.
Sarah, no, this is really bad.
We were always together in high school.
If they know where she lives,
they're gonna know where I live.
If they wanna kill her parents,
they're gonna kill our, my fucking parents,
so they're gonna kill our whole fucking family.
I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do.
- It's not your fault, it's not your fault. - Oh my god!
This was just supposed to be funny.
It was just supposed to be funny.
Sarah, you need to calm down,
you need to look at me, you need to go call your mom.
What?
You need to call your mom.
This is really bad, we're not gonna know
how to fucking handle it.
We need a real fucking adult.
Are you fucking kidding me?
You told me all weekend not to tell her about anything.
Well things fucking changed!
Look at this, I didn't know this could happen.
These guys are fucking threatening to come kill you.
But this is what I was afraid of,
and all fucking weekend you were telling me,
don't be a baby, be an adult, you're an adult.
Yeah, and being an adult is knowing
how you need to fucking change the plans
when you need to fucking change it,
so go call your fucking mom.
She's gonna kill me, Gabby.
Well, at least you'll do it metaphorically.
This guy wants to actually fucking kill you.
No, they didn't.
And her, and my mom, and your mom,
and her mom, and all our fucking family,
so go fucking talk to her, say something.
(gagging)
Guys, I can go with you, it's gonna be fine.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't want you being there when she's yelling at me, okay?
Just give me a couple seconds.
Gabby, you're a fucking bitch.
Mom, can I talk to you upstairs for a second?
No, honey, I just got downstairs.
Oh my goodness, Sarah, what's wrong?
Please don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me.
Sarah, what is happening right now?
I'm sorry, just please just promise
you're not gonna be mad, okay?
What is going on?
(sighing) Hey.
Okay, so, so this weekend, you know,
Gabby and Faye and me, we made this video.
The one for your class?
- Yeah. - The one for your class, yeah.
Yes, but no, we ended up just making
kind of like a funny skit for online.
Oh my god, oh come on, Sarah, no.
I'm so sorry, we put it up and,
it's just like all comments are really bad - Oh my god.
And they're really scary and...
What have you done?
Oh my Jesus.
It's like, they're gonna like hurt me and hurt you
and people are like threatening, threatening to hurt us.
Oh, this is fantastic, we're gonna have to relocate.
Sarah, Sarah, you need to show me this right now.
- I'm not joking. - Please, I don't wanna show you, please.
It's so, so stupid.
It is so dumb, please, and I am so sorry.
- I am so sorry. - Sarah, Sarah.
Sarah, you need to show me exactly
what is happening and then I will tell you
how to fix this.
Mom, I'm sorry, please.
I don't wanna hear your.
This isn't what I need right now from you.
You need to go get Gabby and Faye now too.
No, no, they don't need to be part of this, please.
- Yes, they do. - Trust me.
All three of you did this, these are your consequences
that you are all responsible for.
Now go get them, young lady.
I'm sorry.
- I don't wanna hear, I'm sorry. - Fine, I'll get them.
We're ruined.
Avery, what the fuck?
So we called the cops because...
What?
Oh my God.
Well, we just don't know if these people
who wanna hurt us are gonna come by, so...
- No, that's good, that's good. - We wanna...
- It's like the safest option. - Yeah, so...
No, if the cops are coming,
I have to fucking get out of here.
What, Gabby, what?
I smoke weed, Sarah.
If they smell it on me, I could go to jail.
Yeah, but did you smoke weed today?
No, I didn't smoke weed today,
but I spilled my bong water on this fucking hoodie a couple weeks ago.
If they smell it on me, I'm fucking done.
You haven't washed your hoodie in weeks?
It's a fucking hoodie.
That's still gross.
Gabby, that's not how this all works, okay?
This is so...
What, Gabby, what?
No, come on, we're all in this together.
We're all one group.
Gabby, you can't go out through the window.
Gabby, no, let's stick together as a team, please.
We work together as a team
until you call the fucking cops on me, good luck.
I didn't call the cops on you, Gabby.
- Oh my God, Gabby. - Gabby, you can't...
Oh.
Okay, well, I guess you can just go too or whatever.
I don't know.
Fuck.
No, no, I'll stay.
Okay.
We're in it together, right?
Yeah, thanks.
(sighs)
So, what do you wanna do while we wait?
Faye and I spent the night at Sarah's house.
What would have normally been a nice sleepover
was an anxiety riddled night of shame
as police guarded the house.
There were no more jokes, no more laughs.
It was somehow comforting to be amongst friends
going through the same thing
and worse to not process any of this ourselves.
It wasn't until morning that we were allowed to go home,
uncertain of what our parents might think
as they picked us up.
Yeah, so I guess my mom's gonna be here in a few.
Cool.
I'm really sorry about everything.
I hope she's not like mad.
Oh, no, I think if anything, she's just like worried.
That's kind of better, I guess.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think she really thinks
that we did anything to ask for this.
I mean, I didn't think so either.
Are you gonna be good?
I don't know.
Oh, I guess it's my mom.
Yeah.
Oh, all right, bye.
Bye.
- I'll see you in class next week. - Yeah.
Bye, Avery.
(footsteps)
I know this might be weird to say,
but I just wanted to say thanks for asking me
to be part of this, Sarah.
I mean, I know that none of us feel great
about anything right now, but I think the other parts,
I don't know, I just, I really had fun.
Okay.
And if you guys want next weekend or something,
I could be around and we could, I don't know,
we could just, something.
Sure.
Bye.
Bye, Faye.
The police camped out outside our homes
for the next week or so,
but no trouble actually ensued.
As the threat dissipated, the impact lingered on.
I never did submit that documentary.
My final ended up being some piece
about my little cousin's Eagle Scout project,
drivel really, but I never deleted the footage
that you've seen today.
As I think back about the impact of it all,
I'm struck by the absurdity.
Those nascent days of the internet,
the weight of online backlash, that strange age
where you have your independence,
but it's still limited by proximity to your parents.
This time capsule held contents that felt timeless.
I could stand here and unpack how it all made me feel,
but this isn't my story, no.
Just one that I am honored to tell.
As I considered how to close it all out,
I knew that there was only one option.
I had to talk to them again.
Sarah, thank you so much for being here with me today
and agreeing to speak candidly about your experience
with the pube sandwich video.
Yeah, of course, thank you for having me.
This is super cool.
This is a very professional setup, so.
It feels like so long ago.
I'm surprised you even asked, but yeah,
I'm happy to be here.
How do you get the whole place to smell like coconuts?
I guess we should start with, how are you?
How'd you end up?
Where you been?
Good, yeah.
Obviously didn't move forward with the whole comedy
video thing, I think I figured out pretty early on
that that was just not for me.
I thought about pursuing it, but then I was like,
no, I think being the funny girl at the office
is just easier, so.
And what do you do now?
I am an office manager at a creative agency.
Yeah, I've been doing stand up.
My tour will actually be up by the time this comes out.
I'm at the same store I was at when you first met me.
Does that ever get stale?
It's not like I'm in the same position.
They made me manager four years ago.
And how would you say the reaction
to the video affected you?
I guess right after I did clam up a bit
when I went back to college, I was just really, really scared
that people would wanna talk about it.
Did they?
No, not really.
It was hard, really hard.
I think for a while there, I thought that outside
of the group, there wasn't really a place for my funny,
but luckily my parents were really supportive.
I don't know, dude.
I'm not gonna let a bunch of incels get to me.
If a 30-year-old virgin in his mom's basement
doesn't think my video's funny, then he can suck it.
Do you keep in touch with the others?
I mean, Sarah's my cousin, so.
Yeah, Gabby acted like she was on the run
for months after that until we sort of just saw each other
at family parties.
Oh, Gabby was hard to reach afterwards,
which Sarah was definitely upset about.
Hello, it is your cousin.
I have not seen you.
I hope you are not dead because if you don't pick up,
I will kill you, okay?
I love you, bye.
Still no answer.
No.
Sarah and I stayed in touch and then we grew apart,
which is okay.
I feel like it was more of like her friend, so not really.
I don't know, eventually we just sort of
ran out of stuff to do.
Do you regret it?
I regretted being so fucking annoying.
(laughing)
Hmm, you know, I try not to live in the past
enough to like think about if things
could have gone differently.
It's silly, but I think that I'm just glad
that I put myself out there.
So I've actually been writing a lot lately.
Really?
What are you writing?
Yeah, like some plays, but mostly sketches.
For school?
No, I was actually kind of thinking
that I could try uploading some again.
What?
Are you crazy?
Is that a joke?
That's a joke, right?
Do I think it all worked out for the best?
No, I don't.
I'm sure there was something we could have done different,
but I don't know.
I try to just think of that time as like happy
and remember the fun stuff that we did.
Well, like we almost died.
It was a nuclear disaster all weekend.
You know, this was something I really liked doing
and I really enjoyed and so I'm happy I at least tried it.
You know?
Would you like to see the others?
Are they here?
They are here.
Oh my God.
Hi.
- You guys look so good. - Oh my god,
You too though.
Like professional.
- Yeah, I'm professional. - Do you know Dave Chappelle?
I... like personally?
Wow.
Pretty special to see the Beef Curtain Boys reunited.
Yeah, bands back together baby.
One night only.
(imitates a fanfare)
I'll stop. I'm sorry.
No, it was good.
So how do you all feel about having this footage
finally being released?
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess if you think there's something there
and people would like it.
I feel like we've all come to terms with it, right?
Yeah, it's chill.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just happy that we got to do this,
this part.
Yeah.
Thanks Sarah, for giving us our start.
No, no.
I just do not know why you'd wanna put yourself
in that position again.
Maybe it's stupid.
I just, I don't really wanna give up on it entirely though.
You know?
No.
I don't know.
I suppose at the very least,
there's some solace that even after the spotlight
burned them, they all wound up okay.
And if my humble documentary allows them to process
this chapter in their lives, then I'm glad.
It's not the most unique experience in the world.
I mean, who among us doesn't have cringy videos online
that we can't get rid of?
I guess at the end of the day,
we're all kind of cringe.
And that's okay.
As long as we decide not to be dicks about him.
(upbeat music)
Yo.
Hello.
(together) Hello.
I've heard that this is one of the finest
dining establishments in town.
Oh yes, Mr. Food Critic.
Welcome to our food restaurant.
- This will be... - Yes.
Well, do you gents have a table ready for me?
(singing)
♪ Right this way ♪
Gentlemen.
It's us, your waiters.
Here you go.
Yes.
Well, excellent.
Now, should I have a menu?
Oh no.
That won't be necessary sir.
Yes, we want you to have our finest dish.
It's a signature sandwich, BLT.
Bacon, lettuce and (indistinct).
All right then boys, you think it's time
to make our special sandwich?
(speaking in foreign language)
Okay, our third style of bread.
- Bread. - Oh.
And then, the lettuce.
And next to the tomato.
Tomato.
You said tomato, I said tomato.
And then the cheese.
The cheese.
Yeah.
And then the gabagool.
Oh, and this is the time of...
(speaking in foreign language)
It's the time for the secret ingredient.
♪ Sitting at a restaurant waiting on a sandwich. ♪
♪ Tea and crumpets, shrimp on the barbie ♪
- The secret ingredient. - The secret...
Oh. Here we go.
Ah.
Ah. The fucking pubes.
Ah.
Ah! He's never gonna see it coming.
He's going to shit his pants.
(singing in foreign language)
Your sandwich.
Well, something seems different about this one.
Ah, do not worry.
It is still a delicious sandwich.
Yes, it's just a take a bite.
Ole!
Oh.
Oh, oh, what the...
Fuck, what the fuck is (indistinct) fucking grease
and shit all over here?
What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
Oh, oh, I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be sick.
That was so fucking good.
(laughing)
Tom, please tell me you got all of this.
♪ The weight on your reception line is yes, man ♪
♪ And their yas queens kiss your ring ♪
♪ Like Christ is risen, baby hit the algorithm ♪
♪ You don't have any substance ♪
♪ But you got a lot of bread and holy wine ♪
♪ Divine creation, call it transubstantiation ♪
♪ Your following is swallowing your body ♪
♪ But I'm not here to be saved ♪
♪ I want an explanation, I've been excommunicated ♪
♪ Tick tock, kid, you're getting older by the second ♪