1 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,604 You having a nice perv? 2 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,357 Huh? Oh. 3 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,192 No. 4 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,611 I hate watching attractive people have fun. 5 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,655 Michael was asking after you. 6 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,864 Who? 7 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,449 Michael. Nice house Michael. 8 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,742 Oh, old Michael! 9 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,160 Jesus, why? 10 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,579 I left his house crying with no knickers on. 11 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,540 Well, I mean. 12 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,208 What did he-- Hang on. 13 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,210 Ruari. 14 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,295 Ruari! Take your... 15 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,006 Mm, looks like Harry Potter, look at him. 16 00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,134 Harry Potter and the Braless Mixologist. 17 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,428 So, you don't fancy giving him another go? 18 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,014 No. I mean, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested. 19 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,683 - He's too old. - Babe, please. 20 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,351 Fuck off. 21 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,228 I'm not done with the Patrick of it all anyway. 22 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,771 Here, your son made these. 23 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,690 - Good luck. - Thank you. 24 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,068 Listen, thanks for taking him on. He really needs this. 25 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,695 And, you know, not just for the money. 26 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:11,821 Hey, my pleasure. 27 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,364 I mean, I'm paying him fuck all anyway. 28 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,783 Hey, you mind those wandering hands, Ruari. 29 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,159 Yeah. 30 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,078 Yeah, we're a touchy-feely bunch. 31 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,871 Look, if it gets uncomfortable, then just tell her 32 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,749 hands off, okay? 33 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,127 - Jesus. Ugh! - Ooh, I like it. 34 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,587 I like to feel my drinks. 35 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,590 - Yeah, you drown your sorrows, girl, eh? - What? 36 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,758 - Steve! - What sorrows? 37 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,968 What, Patrick? 38 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,845 I had my fling then, too, remember. 39 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,055 I'm gonna go see him after this. 40 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,225 Don't make any plans around him, that's all I'm saying. 41 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,643 Right, I've got to go 42 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,562 and be a mother, which I don't know about you, 43 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,647 I'm actually much better at lightly pissed. 44 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,733 Right, I'll see you Monday. We need to catch up about Frankfurt 45 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,860 and how you're gonna get Malcolm back. 46 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,528 - What? - Yes, Alex. 47 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,114 - He propositioned me in a sauna. - He caught you 48 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,907 having sex with his moderator in a toilet, so. 49 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,326 I'm gonna MeToo you. 50 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,286 He is a creepy, middle back toucher. 51 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:04,833 Alex, I swear to God, if Grayson signs him before we do, I'm gonna slit my throat. 52 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:06,877 And yours. 53 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,089 When did it all stop being fun? 54 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,197 Oh, shit. 55 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,032 Oh, God. 56 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,450 - Alex! - Oh. 57 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,370 Hey! Evening! 58 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,163 Hi! 59 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,041 I was just in the area, actually. I thought I'd say hi. 60 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,417 How are you? What's going on? 61 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,460 Yeah, good, great. 62 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,087 - Hey! - Hi. 63 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,089 - Hi. It's Cara? - Yeah. 64 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,926 Yeah. Yeah. We met, but, you know, briefly, at... 65 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,844 - Frank's bar. - Frank's, yeah. Launch. 66 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,682 Oh, my God, yeah! Yeah, you were being a dick that night. 67 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,019 Cara's Irish for "friend." 68 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,772 - Don't know if you know that. - What do you mean Irish? 69 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,399 As in the Irish language. 70 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,611 Oh, right. So, like, English, but Irish. 71 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,197 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like French, but Irish. 72 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,867 Like Greek, but, you know, Irish. 73 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,245 - So-- - So, what are you doing in Clerkenwell? 74 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,454 Where? 75 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,789 Oh, yeah, here. 76 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,375 You know, that new pizza place. 77 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,627 Oh! Is that good? 78 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,462 Yeah. Yeah. 79 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,840 Yeah, it is, it is. Do you like pizza? 80 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,468 - Yeah. - Yeah, if you like pizza, you'll love it. 81 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,137 It's really good. 82 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,805 Really good pizza, actually. 83 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,266 Great. 84 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,519 Okay, so I will... 85 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,104 I'll see you both, soon. 86 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,439 - Yeah. - I hope. Have great fun. 87 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,523 - Bye. - Yeah. 88 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,275 Oh, shit! 89 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,861 I'm just gonna get my... 90 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:57,863 Oi. 91 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,239 - Oi! - Hey. 92 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,991 - You alright? - Yeah... 93 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,951 - Did you wanna see me? - Yeah, no, I was-- no, no, no. 94 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,536 - No? - I was literally in the area. 95 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,620 - For? - For pizza. 96 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:07,913 - Pizza. - Yeah, so all good. 97 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:08,998 - Honestly. - Right, okay. 98 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,000 - See ya. - Okay. 99 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,545 How do you know her? 100 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,382 Oh, just an old friend. Yeah, she's great. 101 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,142 Shit! 102 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:29,352 Hello. 103 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,396 Hey! Sorry, that was my bum. 104 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,565 Oh, what did she want? 105 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,611 No, I didn't mean to-- No, that was it. It was a mistake. 106 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,704 I'm glad your bum called, though. 107 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,747 I've been thinking about you. 108 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,998 That's nice. 109 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,708 Yeah, Sam said. 110 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,212 - Do you have the... - Oh, yeah, yeah. 111 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,802 I wouldn't ask, but they're... 112 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,220 they're good first-date knickers. 113 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,638 Oh yeah. 114 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,890 They're very comfortable, too. 115 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,184 How have you been? You look great. 116 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,812 Yeah, I'm good, I'm very good. My mother died. 117 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,271 Oh, I'm sorry. 118 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,941 God, she must have been... 119 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,610 Had a good innings. Not that it's ever-- 120 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,780 Yeah, she'd been around the block a few times, alright. 121 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,990 But it's put some things into perspective, you know. 122 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,534 - You get one life. - Yeah. 123 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,119 I mean, you knew that before she died, presumably. 124 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,497 Yeah, but it hits you when you're staring death in the face. 125 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,542 - Yeah. - And her last words to me really stuck. 126 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,087 "I'll be dead tomorrow, and so will you." 127 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,088 - Jesus. - Yeah. 128 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,757 She meant live every day like it's your last. 129 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,968 - Did she? - Yeah, of course. 130 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,970 - You want another? - Oh, no. 131 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:48,305 - I don't have much time. - Oh, come on. 132 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,934 I mean, if I know your business, you've already done a 12-hour day. 133 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,769 Carpe what's left of the Diem. 134 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,857 Relax a bit before you head home to be all things to your son. 135 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,316 Fancy a Mojito? 136 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,943 Pretend you're on holiday. 137 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:01,987 Okay. 138 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,425 What? 139 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:30,014 As you're retaining semen and your body continues to produce semen 140 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,934 and starts to build an excess of semen, that semen has to go somewhere. 141 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:37,521 So, what the body does, is it starts to recirculate 142 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,899 all your best proteins, enzymes, and nutrients 143 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,109 - throughout your bloodstream which... - How was your shift? 144 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,069 - ...then repairs you at a biological... - That job will be good for you, 145 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,821 - I think, you know? - ...and therefore psychological level... 146 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,740 - Drown out the noise. - ...to balance out your hormones. 147 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,783 - Your cocktails were lethal, by the way. - Your testosterone's going. 148 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,785 They have more of a glow to them. 149 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,455 It's because you have all the-- 150 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,665 What? 151 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,425 Alex, come here. 152 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,136 Oh, death stare. You alright? 153 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,430 Yeah. Dandy. 154 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,642 I've got a meeting with Marion Ottilie Chambers Bryce. 155 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,686 Is that two first names or three last names? 156 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,104 She's chair of the Women's Lit Awards. 157 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,898 I'm gonna try and get her to consider Charlotte 158 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,984 for a Lifetime Achievement, keep Livid happy. 159 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,946 My dad used to design her dad's book covers. 160 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,865 We found their office cocaine when we were teenagers, 161 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,867 in a box of whips under a chiffonier. 162 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,619 I don't know what that is. 163 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,288 It's a sideboard. Stop pretending not to be middle class. 164 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,748 Any joy getting hold of Malcolm? 165 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,333 No, he's on his dopey book tour. 166 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,335 - I keep getting his out of office. - Just stay on it. 167 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,712 Maybe suggest taking him to dinner. 168 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,422 You wanna watch him eat? Ugh. 169 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,007 Rachel Lash is here. 170 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,302 Shall I offer her a muffin from Waitrose? We've just got Waitrose muffins. 171 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,553 Just pop her in the meeting room. 172 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,639 Thanks. 173 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,932 Why is he still here? 174 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,350 What? 175 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,560 Nothing. Nothing. 176 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,313 The next intern fell through so we had to extend. 177 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,940 Ugh, Christ. 178 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,358 Who's Rachel Lash? 179 00:08:04,359 --> 00:08:07,236 Oh, the psychologist. She's got a column in the Times, everyone's after her. 180 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:11,615 Okay, I'll pop by and say hello, shall I? Just shower a bit of gold dust. 181 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,075 Yeah, but if you don't know her, there's-- 182 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,369 No, I do know her. 183 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,954 Okay. 184 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,498 You don't know her. 185 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,794 Rachel. Rachel Lash. 186 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,256 I can't remember when I was as excited by a book. 187 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,466 What got you into this whole area? 188 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,010 Actually, I was doing my column 189 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,053 on the decline in sperm count for middle-aged men. 190 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:36,098 Oh, skinny jeans, right? Partly to blame. 191 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,433 Maybe we get to ban them. 192 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,853 A lot of men reached out full of anxiety about their biological clocks 193 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,230 and this very new male situation of having it all. 194 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,315 Yeah. Yeah, what is that? 195 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,443 And so, I was seeing this guy. 196 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:50,487 We just broke up and he's with someone else now, 197 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:55,075 who's completely wrong for him, just to, I can only assume, have a baby. 198 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,537 - You know, he's like 47 and... - Rachel, such a pleasure. 199 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,665 ...she's gotta be, like, 26 or something. 200 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,792 You know, and thick. Like, Middlemarch thick. 201 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,669 - I mean, what do they even talk about? - Alex? 202 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:09,006 Sorry. Rachel, this is Sam Laville. Sam, it's Rachel Lash. 203 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,467 I know. Big fan. 204 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,926 It's tough, isn't it? 205 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,054 I mean, men seem to want everything and they give so little. 206 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,639 I only have an hour. 207 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,193 Please don't use your work meetings 208 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,278 as therapy sessions. It's not fair. 209 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,113 - What? - You get to fuck up and just go home. 210 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,823 You didn't even know who she was an hour ago. 211 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,492 - I absolutely did know who she was! - No, you didn't. 212 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,911 And I don't know why you can't just let me meet a client without busting in on me. 213 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,037 You already lost us one bestseller. 214 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:41,330 - What?! - Yes! 215 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,457 Also, I don't just go home. I fucking wake up 216 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:44,625 - thinking about this job. - Yeah, but it's not your name 217 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:45,751 on the door, is it? 218 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,087 Why'd you tell Patrick about Lars? 219 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,922 - What? - Well, he thought that meant we were done, 220 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,673 and now he's back with fucking Cara, so. 221 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,593 I heard about Cara, and then I told him about Lars. 222 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,763 It was a "Fuck you, she's having a great time anyway." 223 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,389 And Patrick will never know what he wants. 224 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,560 He's a man-child. Save yourself. 225 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,984 Hey! 226 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,195 Do you like carbonara? 227 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,905 - Oh. - I'm joking. 228 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,907 Love anything cooked for me. Big fan. 229 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:17,992 Come in. 230 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,327 I mean, I love Sam. 231 00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,329 She threw me a bone with the job, you know, she really did. 232 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,247 I owe her. 233 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:25,249 I mean, I fucked up the meeting, you know. 234 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,667 How'd you do that? 235 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,253 It's just, I was pre-occupied with... 236 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,798 Doesn't matter, but, like, you know, the thing is... 237 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,258 she doesn't trust me, not really. 238 00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,301 And now, she's got a reason to not trust me. 239 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,345 And I've got great instincts. 240 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,681 But I don't know how to give her what she wants 241 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,141 and get what I want. 242 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,976 Like, how do I get what I want? 243 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,644 She doesn't give a fuck what I want, by the way. 244 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,980 Maybe you shouldn't be thinking you owe her. 245 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,607 That's the wrong dynamic. She needs you. 246 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,317 She'd never say it, but she does. 247 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,569 Just be honest with her. 248 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,112 Otherwise, you might find yourself 249 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,823 at your mother's deathbed questioning your life choices. 250 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,785 - You wanna try this? - Yeah. Mm. 251 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,333 Oh, wow. 252 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,626 You're talented. 253 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,086 Yeah, that's gorgeous. 254 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,922 - You're gorgeous. - Oh, God, no. 255 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,341 - I stink of garlic now. - Oh, there's no garlic in it. 256 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,843 Oh, really? Well, something. 257 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,761 What kind of herbs are you using there? 258 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,598 Is that thyme, or... 259 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,224 What is that? 260 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,226 Your mother's gonna hate me for saying this, 261 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,062 but my son dropped out of uni, and it was the best thing he ever did. 262 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,606 - Oh. - What's he do now? 263 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,191 - Ruari's going back to uni. - He set up 264 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,360 this investment business with a finance guy from NY. 265 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,571 I mean, he's very happy. 266 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,448 - What are you interested in? - Comedy. 267 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,534 - He's got a job at a bar. - I have a friend who's a stand-up. 268 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,953 He's depressed and broke. 269 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,664 But he does get a lot of pussy. 270 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,418 - Sorry. - It's important to... 271 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,338 keep all your options open. 272 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:57,841 - Yeah. - This is delicious, Michael. 273 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,135 Yeah, it's good. 274 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,429 Ruari's a good kid. 275 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,389 I mean, I know you're worried, but you're doing fine. 276 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,266 Aw. Well, it was great having you there. 277 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,268 Well... 278 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,937 I'm good at that kind of thing. 279 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,605 I mean, I'm good at lots of things. 280 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,814 But... 281 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,484 family, I'm really good at. 282 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,487 - Well, thank you. - You don't have to thank me. 283 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,822 My mother is dead, my children are raised. 284 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:24,160 I have time and I'd like to spend it with you. 285 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,120 Lean on me. 286 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,424 Oh. 287 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,434 Oh, is it okay-- sorry. 288 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,311 Is it-- Let me just-- 289 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,231 Can we just take it a bit slower? 290 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,983 I know that sounds ridiculous 'cause you've seen 291 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,985 my vagina up close, but I just-- 292 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,279 I think this could be good. 293 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,738 You know? Mature. 294 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,282 And I'm not just saying that because you're mature. 295 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,661 "Start slow to move fast," my mother used to say. 296 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:12,000 Yeah. I mean, that-- Yeah. Let's... 297 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,675 Oh, and don't worry about Sam. 298 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,304 You'll find a way to keep her happy and do your thing. 299 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,307 You're a woman, goddammit. 300 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,408 Can I leave a message for Rachel Lash, please? 301 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,161 - What's wrong? - Nothing. Nothing. 302 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,789 Yeah, just tell her Alex Shaw called. 303 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,167 I'm gonna send her an invite to a book event. 304 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,585 It's this afternoon. 305 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,587 Thank you. 306 00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,421 Is there something wrong 307 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,339 - with your testicles? - No! 308 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,133 - No, Mum. No. - Sorry. 309 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,926 This is fun, isn't it? 310 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,720 Heading to our jobs together. 311 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,514 Have a great day at work, dear. 312 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,103 I love you. 313 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,195 Asshole. 314 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,036 Hey. 315 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,414 I'm surprised you're a fan. 316 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,752 Oh, well. I mean, let's just say I'm fascinated. 317 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:43,131 And, you know, I thought, Rachel Lash has just written about men who work 318 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,009 in female-dominated industries, so I thought, you know, 319 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,304 it might spark an idea for a column. 320 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,556 Oh, there he is. 321 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,311 But actually, I just wanted to say sorry 322 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,146 about our meeting last week. 323 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,525 You know, I was obsessing about another failed relationship 324 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:05,404 and the state of my far-from-ideal sixth decade. 325 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,074 - But... - "Maskiel climaxed lustily 326 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,202 "and with a long doleful cry. 327 00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,455 "Goblin seed was gold... 328 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,500 "and soon the sheets were sparkling. 329 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,169 "Deanna lay back and almost bathed in it. 330 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,798 Morning came too soon." 331 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,010 Most romantasy writers use a pen name. 332 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:32,348 Malcolm is one of the brave few who's out. 333 00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,102 And yet, I feel he'd make a wonderful Susan. 334 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,188 ...or a Deanna in their lives. 335 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,734 She couldn't keep away. How wonderful to see you. 336 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,987 Great talk. 337 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:52,909 I noticed you slightly evaded the question about your follow-up book. How's it going? 338 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,619 It's going masterfully. 339 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,830 Second books are my specialty. 340 00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:59,708 You know, I know how to take a small idea and turn it into many. 341 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,002 I don't do small ideas. 342 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,629 Of course. How long's the book tour? 343 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:08,134 I thought maybe we could get dinner or something when you're done. 344 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,094 What's in it for me? 345 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,555 Free steak? 346 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,186 Fawning compliments, tail between legs? 347 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,524 Make it lunch. Le Petit Veau. 348 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,277 Okay. Oh. 349 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,405 Oh. 350 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,034 - DM me. - I will. 351 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,417 She loves me now. 352 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,170 Michael, look. She's texted me twice. 353 00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,130 - Oh. - Isn't that good? 354 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,091 - Frank, how's he getting on? - Oh, he's a natural. 355 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,344 The place is gonna be in great hands when we go to Ibiza. 356 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,971 You going to Ibiza? Love Ibiza. 357 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,973 Yeah, our 10th wedding anniversary, baby. 358 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,059 Oh, you wait till you see the villa that I've booked. 359 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,685 Oh, rock and roll. 360 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,438 Apparently, Billy Joel died there. 361 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,190 Billy Joel is still alive. 362 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,650 Someone definitely died there. 363 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,528 Ruari, Ruari, come on now. Thank you. Okay. 364 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,530 These will blow your heads off. 365 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,698 Thank you, honey. 366 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,200 - He likes you. - Yeah? 367 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,578 Yeah. I straight up asked him, and he said... 368 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,790 Wow. 369 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:22,959 Aw! 370 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,170 Just like in the movies. 371 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,510 Why don't you come to mine on Sunday, we can have a sauna, 372 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,096 get hot together. 373 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,348 Or... 374 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,517 you could come to mine? 375 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,477 - I'll cook for you. - Oh. 376 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:43,896 Return all the favors. 377 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,775 Oh, there's a bus! 378 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,777 - There's a bus! Let's go, let's catch it. - Really? 379 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,238 - Okay. - Front seat, get the front seat. 380 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,669 - Hey. - I just saw "lunch with Malcolm" 381 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,129 go in the diary. 382 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,964 - Yeah. - I got the horn. 383 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,758 And I signed Rachel. Nearly. 384 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,385 I was gonna tell you Monday, but then you decided 385 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,928 to work-call me on a Sunday. 386 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,888 Yeah, glad I did. 387 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,057 Enjoy lunch. You cooking? 388 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,851 Yeah, I've got Michael and the family coming over. 389 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,770 - Ooh, what are you making? - Well, barbecued prawns, 390 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,107 and then a ham and a white sauce. 391 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,692 A what sauce? 392 00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,569 A white sauce. My mum used to make it. 393 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,279 Mm, sounds flavorful. 394 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,781 - Okay, well, that was it. - Wait. 395 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,825 - I want you to trust me more, Sam. - What? 396 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,077 I do trust you, you moron. 397 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,163 No, but, I mean, like, I want autonomy. 398 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,582 I wanna feel like you trust that I know what I'm doing. 399 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,126 I wanna be your partner. 400 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,088 Hello, did you hear me? 401 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,008 You are such a cheeky bitch. 402 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,552 - Why? - You lose us a big client-- 403 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,471 Oh, I'm gonna get you Malcolm back. 404 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,222 Against all my vagina's instincts, I'm-- 405 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:05,477 Manage to salvage a meeting that you fucked up in the first place, 406 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,312 and now you think you deserve to be partner 407 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:10,482 in a business I spent 30 years hard graft building? 408 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,901 The caucasity! 409 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,069 Well, junior partner? 410 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,738 Enjoy your white sauce. 411 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,829 - Oh, that goes... - Thank you, darling. 412 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,581 - Okay, ready to go? - Oh, is this the brake here? 413 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,500 - Lift it up? - Yeah, just lift it up with your foot. 414 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,710 Oh, okay, yeah. Got it. 415 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:31,795 Okay. 416 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,713 Hey! Hi. 417 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,840 Hi. 418 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,552 Do you always bring family on your dates? 419 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:43,348 I can't believe I didn't tell you. But, short answer, no. 420 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,308 Hey, everyone, this is... 421 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,768 this is Michael. 422 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,853 Michael, this is my sister, Delly. 423 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,730 - Hello, Michael. - Wally. 424 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:51,981 - Maggie. - Hello, Michael. 425 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,316 - Where's the baby? - Hello, Michael. 426 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,943 Sleeping. Do not approach the vehicle. 427 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,071 I feel like royalty wheeling around in this thing. 428 00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,407 Show 'em your wave. 429 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:05,537 Okay, the pills, house key, spare glucometer for Mum, 430 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,623 extra dressing if her toe starts to seep. 431 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,874 And Dad's iPad's in here. 432 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,084 His glasses are in his coat pocket. 433 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,877 They are labeled "glasses." 434 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,546 - Make sure he brings them home. - Okay. 435 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,922 You sure you don't wanna stay? 436 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,633 I was sure, but now I don't know. 437 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,811 Call me a lift. 438 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,104 You alright there, honey? 439 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,939 - Easy going. - There you go. 440 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,274 - Are you in? - Yes, I'm in. 441 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,692 - Yes, I'm in. - Oh, could you fold it up? 442 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,277 'Cause I'm not sure if there's enough room. 443 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,237 Oh! Get the next one. Get the next one. 444 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,407 - Poor Michael. - He's fine. 445 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,246 Leave a message and I'll get back to you. 446 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,378 Hi, Dad. It's Ruari. Hope rehearsals are going well. 447 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,548 Could you just give me a call when you get this? 448 00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,301 I've got this sort of weird pain in... 449 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:02,844 - Ruari! - Where's the big man? Ruari! 450 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,554 - It's really warm in here. - Yeah? 451 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:07,223 - No hands. - You're just showing off now, Wally. 452 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,434 And, yeah, I told her I wanted to be partner. 453 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:13,062 It just came out. You'd have been proud of me, though. 454 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,983 I was very, you know, cunty. 455 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,026 It's frozen, Michael. 456 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,611 - Oh, there we go. - You've broken it. 457 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,988 - I didn't do anything. - Huh. 458 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,698 Ah, you should try this later, yeah? 459 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,033 - I'm not getting up ever. - There you go. 460 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,659 It could really benefit your golf game, Maggie. 461 00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:27,994 Never too old to try something new. 462 00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,829 - That's bollocks. - Brilliant. 463 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,790 So, these bad boys are for you guys. 464 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,416 - Okay. - Halloumi's for me. 465 00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,419 Want me to marinate it for you, Lockjaw Linda? 466 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,507 Oh, "Lockjaw Linda." 467 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,883 - Oh, my phone. - I'm in control. 468 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,176 - You alright? - Yeah. I guess, darling. 469 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:44,511 - Look, I can stand now. - Stop. 470 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,221 No, you're going to wreck your knees. 471 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,807 - That's what's going to happen. - No, I'm not. No, I'm not. 472 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,603 When did you acquire this particular fetish? 473 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:54,854 So mature. 474 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:57,774 He's lived. He's raised successful adults. 475 00:21:57,775 --> 00:21:59,359 He marinates halloumi. 476 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,777 He helps me steer Ruari. 477 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:02,570 Yeah, and he lends you his bus pass. 478 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,906 I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna wake your baby. 479 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,993 - How's the sex? - The sex is... 480 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,245 Well, look, when you think about it, 481 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,871 I haven't had much sex the last five years anyway. 482 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,748 - Oh, Jesus, Alex. - What? 483 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,917 Listen, sex is dangerous. 484 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,877 Look where great sex with Patrick got me. 485 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,380 This is just fast-tracking the relationship, 486 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:23,675 you know, past the honeymoon period, straight into the sexless marriage. 487 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,886 Okay, well, we'll see you when you wake up. 488 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:29,098 Oh, go wash your hair. It smells. 489 00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,642 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah, sure. 490 00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:33,644 Cool. 491 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,357 So, it's like someone's got a vice grip on my balls. 492 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,026 - I mean, do you think I'm dying? - What? 493 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,112 No, look-- I've really gotta watch these prawns. They cook very-- 494 00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:46,824 You know, I feel, like, dizzy and full of anger. 495 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,117 Did your son ever have that? 496 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,952 I don't know, Ruari. 497 00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,871 Maybe you should talk to a doctor. 498 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,664 I've been practicing the art of restraint recently, 499 00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:57,625 and, like, semen retention, because that's-- 500 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,460 Restraint? Wait, you mean, 501 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,920 - you're not masturbating? - No. 502 00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:03,465 Ruari, I think you really need to talk to someone. 503 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,217 - Well, I am. - Not me. 504 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,428 Not now. 505 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,889 - But crack one off, is my advice. - Okay. 506 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,515 I mean, it's one of life's great pleasures. 507 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,225 - Okay. - Yeah. 508 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,019 Cool. Can I get your number? 509 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,729 - Yeah. - Be great to keep talking, though. 510 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,231 Dad's not around and Mum's fucking bonkers, so... 511 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,025 - Yeah. - What's your last name? 512 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:24,612 Actually, I'll just put you in as "Michael Mum." 513 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:27,655 Hey. What are you guys yakking about? 514 00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:28,866 Just leaving, see ya. 515 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,953 I'm really worried about him. 516 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:35,830 Maybe you can find out what's up later? 517 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,874 - Yeah. - It's frozen again, Michael! 518 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,418 Oh, you're wanted. 519 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,425 Oh, hey, do you wanna come to Ibiza with me? 520 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,469 I've already been to Ibiza. 521 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:51,054 It doesn't matter if you've already been to Ibiza. 522 00:23:51,055 --> 00:23:52,639 That's not how holidays work. 523 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,392 I don't wanna go because I think we should end things here. 524 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:58,895 What? 525 00:23:58,896 --> 00:24:00,730 What-- why? 526 00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:03,066 - Okay, forget Ibiza. - I don't know what this is. 527 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:05,068 I mean, honestly, what is it? 528 00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:07,696 We're never alone. We don't even have sex. 529 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,031 Intimacy is sex, it's-- 530 00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,491 No, it's fucking not. 531 00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:12,909 I told you I wanted to go slow. 532 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:15,370 Alex, darling, there's slow and there's dead slow, 533 00:24:15,371 --> 00:24:17,538 and I'll be dead by the time we get around to it. 534 00:24:17,539 --> 00:24:21,000 I need sensuality in my life. 535 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:23,378 I have a limited amount of time left, 536 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:26,297 and I don't want to be just someone who's relied on. 537 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:28,341 You told me to rely on you. 538 00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:31,469 You literally said, "Lean on me." 539 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,429 I didn't mean this hard. 540 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:36,349 We want different things. I mean, I wanna be free-- 541 00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:39,394 - So do I! - Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, 542 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:40,688 but you're not. 543 00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,816 Okay. 544 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,443 Fine, yeah. Go live your one life. 545 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,404 Okay? Oh, and by the way, 546 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,781 "I'll be dead tomorrow and so will you" 547 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,951 is a fucking weird thing to say to your son 548 00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,036 - on your deathbed. - You need counseling. 549 00:24:57,037 --> 00:24:58,330 What? 550 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,047 - Bridget. - Oh, man. 551 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:09,590 Sorry. 552 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:10,717 Bridget. 553 00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,010 - Bridget. - Hi. 554 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,178 Can I just speak to you for a second? Bridget? 555 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,431 - Yeah? - You get my text? 556 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:17,807 Could you just tell Mia, 557 00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:20,560 and tell everyone, that what happened, and tell 'em 558 00:25:20,561 --> 00:25:23,062 - we were both into it-- - I want this to go away as much as you. 559 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:26,691 Please. I don't wanna be the pervert, 560 00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,026 hands-down-the-pants guy. 561 00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,610 I don't wanna be the hands-down-the-pants girl! 562 00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:31,320 Look, let's just leave her alone. Come on, Bridget. 563 00:25:31,321 --> 00:25:33,239 - Why are you involving yourself in this? - Don't speak to me. 564 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,783 I'll speak to you if I want! Why are you being a fucking bitch? 565 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,285 Why you calling girls bitches? 566 00:25:37,286 --> 00:25:39,038 Why don't you go make some more drinks? 567 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,415 Oh my-- Hey, dude! 568 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:43,666 - Come on. - Fight! 569 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:44,960 - Ruari. Ruari. - Stop! 570 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,587 Shit, was that my fault? 571 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:49,005 What are you filming it for? 572 00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,465 - Stop filming! - Get the fuck out of my face. 573 00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:52,341 - Are you fucking kidding me? - You okay? 574 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:53,802 - Ruari, you alright? - Yeah. 575 00:25:58,140 --> 00:25:59,474 It'll die down. 576 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,727 Okay? It'll pass. 577 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,604 Look, there was this guy at my uni, 578 00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:07,607 and on his second night, he shat all over the corridor 579 00:26:07,608 --> 00:26:08,941 when he was drunk. 580 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,568 And everyone was fucking mortified for him, 581 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:13,571 but he just cleaned it up and kept going to class. 582 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,990 And then after a while, everyone forgot about it. 583 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,534 Shit doesn't stick. 584 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:22,039 It dries, and then you can just brush it off. 585 00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:25,333 I hate being a man. 586 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:26,876 Oh, Ruari, please don't say that. 587 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:30,963 You have to be strong, but not too strong, 'cause then you're an alpha. 588 00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,507 And if you're an alpha, you're toxic. 589 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:36,135 And if you're toxic, just, girls fucking hate you. 590 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,720 But if we try and express our feelings, 591 00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,347 we're weak and needy. 592 00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:42,267 If you send flowers to a girl, we're just love-bombing her. 593 00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:45,771 If we can't get it up, then we're broken. 594 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:48,857 It'll get easier. 595 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:50,859 Promise. 596 00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:54,070 Do you want to come to Ibiza? 597 00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:55,697 Why aren't you going with Michael? 598 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:57,991 Michael dumped me. 599 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,161 Oh. Shit. Really? 600 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,958 I can still call him though, right? 601 00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:09,878 Yeah. 602 00:27:11,839 --> 00:27:14,090 Yeah. Yeah, course you can. 603 00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:15,217 - Right. - Yeah. 604 00:27:16,593 --> 00:27:19,053 I sent him five texts, he didn't reply to any of them. 605 00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,305 - Five texts? - You think I should just call him? 606 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,765 - I would give him a call. - Yeah. 607 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:24,392 - FaceTime him. - Really? 608 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,602 Yeah.