1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,999 - WOMAN: - How are we late every single day? How is it possible? 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,959 - ♪ Christmas-time... ♪ - Why do we always do this?! 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,679 - ♪ Mistletoe and wine... ♪ - I'm coming, I'm coming! 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,359 Oi! No TikTok before school, please. 5 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,679 - No, no, no, no. - No, I'm not. - TOASTER DINGS 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,079 Come on - wees and teeth. 7 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,799 - You've got two minutes. - MOANS: - Ready! 8 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,079 Give it a rest, Cliff. 9 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,000 GRIME MUSIC PLAYS 10 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,319 ♪ Big lifestyles that they couldn't keep up 11 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,799 ♪ Lot of fakes and flaws That they gonna see now... ♪ 12 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,799 Why is your toothbrush in the sock drawer? 13 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,839 I don't know. 14 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,279 So much to do. 15 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,239 Deffo not Christmas drinks at Becky's. 16 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,039 Arslan, don't forget Christmas drinks at Becky's! 17 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,400 Mm-hm. 18 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,599 Put your phones down and get downstairs. 19 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,839 Yes-uh! 20 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,039 - ♪ I don't wanna drink - No 21 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,199 - ♪ I don't wanna build - No 22 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,799 - ♪ No, I don't wanna meet up - Not at all... ♪ 23 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,559 Come on, come. Quick, quick, quick, cos we're late. 24 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:47,599 - GROANS: - God! 25 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:48,999 Hannah, could you come here a minute? 26 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,479 Nearly there, last day of term. That's it. 27 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,639 - What? - Hiya. - Hi. 28 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,199 Oh, that's nice Christmassy music. 29 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,879 - Have you put more decorations up? - Well... 30 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,439 Wasting my money here. 31 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,919 Our money. 32 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,159 Can you tell me something? 33 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,159 What does this have to do with the miraculous birth? 34 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,759 Oh, don't start. Are we doing that again? 35 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,839 Really? Either you hate Christmas cos you don't celebrate it, 36 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,119 or you hate it cos you're a tightarse. Which one is it? 37 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,439 This is not about hate, OK? 38 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,679 I just have reason to believe that this time period here 39 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,039 was not Jesus's - peace be upon him - real birthday, 40 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,119 is all I'm saying. 41 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,159 Who told you that? 42 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,319 That Orthodox priest I made friends with on Instagram. 43 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,479 Dad, you shouldn't be making friends with strangers on the internet. 44 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,919 Especially priests. All right. Antlers, please, my loves. 45 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,879 - BOTH: - Mm-mm. - What if I bribe you? 46 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,679 I'm going to need specifics. 47 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,759 You can wax your dad's earholes again. 48 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,399 - No, you're not doing that. - Deal. 49 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,519 Thank you very much. 50 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,839 MUSIC: It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year by Andy Williams 51 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,679 - SOFTLY: - Stop it. Oh! 52 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,399 It's too cute. It's killing me. 53 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,359 Right, come on, get these out of my hairdo, now. 54 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,839 Ah, you do look cute though, you know. 55 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:48,999 Say salaam to Mum. 56 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,639 - BOTH: - Salaam, Mum. 57 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:51,879 Salaam, my darlings. 58 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,120 Have you had breakfast? 59 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,119 ♪ It's the most wonderful time... ♪ 60 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,479 - Dad, I need some new school shoes. - ♪ Of the year... ♪ 61 00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,639 Safe. 62 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,199 Well, I still buy my underwears on eBay, 63 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,639 so you're going to have to wait. DOOR SHUTS 64 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,039 ♪ There'll be much mistletoe-ing And hearts will be glow... ♪ 65 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,440 MUSIC STOPS 66 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,559 - What do you think? - Aw, Mum! - You like it? 67 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,240 The tree looks lovely! 68 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,040 SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS 69 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,999 That's it, stand there. Say, "Merry Christmas!" 70 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,759 - ALL: - Merry Christmas! 71 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,600 Hurry up, Dad! 72 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,599 KNOCKING ON DOOR 73 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,599 - Geez! Let me poo in peace! - Why are you taking so long? 74 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,439 I can't even poo in peace in my own house. 75 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,639 GIGGLING 76 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,159 MUSIC: Merry Christmas by D Double E 77 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,679 - ♪ Merry, merry, merry - Christmas 78 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,879 - ♪ Merry, merry, merry - Christmas. ♪ 79 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,759 Freestyle Friday, you man, let's go! 80 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,719 What do you want to hear from my guy? 81 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,280 LIGHT CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 82 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,279 Yeah? 83 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,439 You see how I do. 84 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,199 Ay! Ay, ay. Do one about the CEO. 85 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,839 Ah, you want one about the boss? 86 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,119 - Hawtrey? - Hawtrey. 87 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,639 - Blimmin' Hawtrey. - Blimmin' Hawtrey. - Hawtrey? 88 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,839 - Hawtrey. - Here we go. Let's zone. Ah. 89 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,119 Here we go. Uh. 90 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,959 The CEO is called Haw-to-the-trey. 91 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,999 Mm. 92 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,839 - Man better not come round here and mess with me. - Mm! 93 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,679 I'll give him uppercuts like one, two, three. 94 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,759 Mm, mm, mm. 95 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,799 Come on, I'm floating like a butterfly, stinging like a... 96 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,079 Caterpillar. 97 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,359 - Er... - It's bee. 98 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,959 - Caterpillars don't float, do they, Sharon? - No. - But I liked it. 99 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,239 I still liked it. It was better. 100 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,280 It was better. 101 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,639 - Come on. - So good. - Come on. 102 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,119 PHONE RINGING KEYBOARD CLACKING 103 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,279 - Bro? - Yeah, bro? - I'm telling you... - Mm-hm? 104 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,839 ..I turned 200 quid into a grand in six days 105 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,519 with that new Chinese crypto. 106 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,239 - Can you? - Yep. 107 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,479 - So, tell me... - Mm-hm? 108 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,599 ..why you're still living at home with your nan, then? 109 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,359 Because she's got a brand-new 88-inch plasma, right? 110 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,719 And when we watch The Chase, 111 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,359 we can see Bradley Walsh's individual nose hairs. 112 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,919 88-inch plasma, yeah? 113 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,120 - Yeah, man. - OK. 114 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,079 - Er, Darren? - Yeah. 115 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:56,079 Says here that "Plasma TVs ceased to be sold in the UK in 2014." 116 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,279 You lying. 117 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,639 You got to stop this lying. 118 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,439 HR already spoke to you about this. 119 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,199 Stop lying in my office. 120 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,639 I'm not lying about the crypto, 121 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,639 and I might've exaggerated about the TV. 122 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,639 I'm going to go make a cup of tea and take five. 123 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,400 Yeah? Make one for your nan as well. 124 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,079 You're lucky I like you. 125 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,919 MESSAGES CHIME 126 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,720 - Bonuses are in. - Whoo! - Yes! 127 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,720 EXCITED CHATTER 128 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,799 950! 129 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,199 Come on, what did you get? 130 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,559 870. Why'd you get more? 131 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:25,879 Patrick, what did you get? 132 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,120 I got 960. Pretty happy with that. 133 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,359 KERCHING! 134 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,479 Hey, yo... 135 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,519 HE CHUCKLES 136 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,399 Arslan, Christmas bonuses are in. 137 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,199 - Arslan! - What is it?! Why you asking me questions? 138 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,719 - What did you get? - Huh? Mon... money! 139 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:43,919 Do me a favour, bro. 140 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,919 Just watch my desk for a minute. I need to go for a meeting. 141 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,120 - Yeah. - Jay? 142 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,160 Jamie! COPIER BEEPS, HUMS 143 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,879 At least your photocopied your hand this time. 144 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:56,920 Get in the office! 145 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,359 - Jay. - Yeah? 146 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,319 They've give me an £8,000 bonus. 147 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,159 AMAZED CHUCKLE 148 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,199 - Whoa! - Yes! 149 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,519 Eight bags?! 150 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,199 - Why you so loud? - Are you kidding me? 151 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,199 Oh, my days, blood. 152 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,559 Mashallah! 153 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,439 Mashallah! 154 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,719 We need to celebrate. 155 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,880 We could go mental! 156 00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:23,039 PAPER RUSTLES 157 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,879 I probably shouldn't be spending the money like this. 158 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:25,959 We can do anything we like. 159 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,519 We can travel to Mexico, go to Darfur. 160 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,039 We can go glamping - 161 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,439 in Dartford. 162 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,959 Spend quality time together, bro. 163 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,639 You're right. Me, you, your sister, the kids. 164 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,559 - No, forget the kids! Forget them. - Sorry? My kids? 165 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,439 - Just me and you. - Me and you?! - Me and you, brother! 166 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,639 It's just us two. You get me? 167 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,039 - We could go Kazakhstan. We could go Uzbekistan. - Any of the Stans. 168 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,919 - Mongolia. - That's not a Stan. 169 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,759 - I don't care. - It's a Olia. 170 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,319 - WHISPERS: - There's only one Olia. 171 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,399 Let me think about it, yeah? 172 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:57,440 - Yeah? - SOFTLY: - Live, laugh, love. 173 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,799 - Quiet. - Yes, let's be quiet. 174 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,759 Glamping in Darfur. 175 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,039 I'm so proud of you. 176 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,039 - Are you? - I'm so proud of you! 177 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,879 - I'm proud of me, too. - I'm so proud of... 178 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,839 - I'm proud of me. - I'm proud of you, man. 179 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,759 I'm so proud of you. 180 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,279 - My boy. - Hey... - It's my boy. 181 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,799 Hey, let's get a takeaway tonight to celebrate. 182 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,639 - Jamie, go home. - Yeah, that sounds good. 183 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,600 I might get something from the fridge. 184 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,079 Poor lad. 185 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,839 Still eating his feelings, eh? 186 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,439 - After your mum died. - Yeah, thanks. 187 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,079 - Anyway, here's what we're going to do with the money, OK? - Yeah? 188 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,199 - We're going to pay off some debts... - Yeah. 189 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,079 ..and we're going to save some for a rainy day, how about that? 190 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,599 - What? - Man's talking sense. 191 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,159 - Oh, yeah. - Like, always. 192 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,159 There's never not a time. 193 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,439 Um... Why you always got salt and vinegar? 194 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:43,919 What's up with that? 195 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,559 Why don't we go on holiday? 196 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,399 - You're taking the mick. - Abroad! 197 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,679 Like a proper holiday. 198 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,839 Not camping. 199 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,279 Can't afford abroad, Han. 200 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,799 - We can! - No, we can't! 201 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,159 I mean this with love. 202 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,799 It's not going to be with love, but go on. 203 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,319 - Don't you think that this... - What? 204 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,959 ..relationship could do with a kick up the arse? 205 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,999 I don't know why you keep saying that. 206 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,159 You say that every few weeks, you know? 207 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,479 This don't need no kick up no arses, yeah? 208 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,999 Me and you, we got chemistry. 209 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,719 - Put it there, pal! - Really, is this it? 210 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:14,959 Good lad. D'you feel that? 211 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,119 Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. 212 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,039 I-I do feel that, every time I see you at the fridge 213 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,639 drinking milk straight from the bottle. 214 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,479 - I don't drink straight from the bottle. - Yeah, you do. 215 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,719 I sky it, I don't lips the bottle. 216 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,279 I told the girls not to lips the bottle either. 217 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,999 Wow, lovely. That's nice, isn't it? 218 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,439 - Look at us! - What? 219 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,879 Is this where we are? 220 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,559 Arguing about milk? Where's the joy? 221 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,359 Where... Where is this actually...? 222 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,359 What? 223 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,239 - SOFTLY: - We should go to Lapland. 224 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,159 - We are not... What? - We should go... 225 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,279 - We should go to Lapland! - No. 226 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,719 - That's exactly what we should do. - We should not exactly do that. 227 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,479 Cos Mum always wanted to take the kids there, 228 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,039 but she never made it. 229 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,319 I know she never made it, because she died. 230 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,199 But we could go and make more memories with the kids. 231 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,519 That'd be so nice! 232 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,919 Cos at the moment, 233 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,119 their main childhood memory is that you shit yourself in Nando's. 234 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,879 Never shit myself in Nando's. 235 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,679 I shit myself outside Nando's. 236 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,879 And I always regretted not making more memories with Mum, 237 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,440 and now she's... you know. 238 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,199 - Thanks. - Yeah. 239 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,919 Look, Becky took her lot last year, 240 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,799 and she said the puddings were massive. 241 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,799 I see what you're doing here, you're a very smart lady, 242 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,719 - but I can't do it, Han. - Yeah, boy! 243 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,239 I can't do it. 244 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,279 Fine. You're absolutely right, 245 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,759 we'll just stay here and do what we normally do, yeah? 246 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,839 Nativity, choir, 247 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,599 stupid jumpers. 248 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,839 We'll go over to Auntie Janet's for a mince pie. 249 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,039 - I like Auntie Janet! - I know you love Auntie Janet. 250 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,039 - I like her. - Yeah. - Yeah. 251 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,319 Sit down and watch GB News with Uncle Colin. 252 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,279 MUSIC: Christmas In Hollis by Run-DMC 253 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,919 ♪ It was December 24th on Hollis Ave after dark 254 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,239 ♪ When I seen a man chilling with his dog in the park 255 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,599 ♪ I approached him very slowly with my heart full of fear 256 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,919 ♪ Looked at his dog 257 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,720 ♪ Oh, my God, an ill reindeer! ♪ 258 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,279 BELLS JINGLING 259 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,719 It's a reindeer! It's a real reindeer! 260 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,319 What you looking at? 261 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,279 They ain't never seen a brown brother in Lapland. 262 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,640 Whoa! Who threw that? 263 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,639 GIGGLING 264 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,839 Oh, it's my children. 265 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,159 We could take a reindeer ride to the northern lights. 266 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,319 You know what I'd rather do? 267 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,039 I'd rather watch The Chase with Darren and his nan 268 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,439 on their 88-inch plasma. 269 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,399 Come on, Scrooge McDuck. 270 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,119 Look where we are! 271 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,079 We're in the home of Christmas. 272 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,199 Why is it so cold? 273 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,959 Come on, let's check in. 274 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,119 These are too heavy, man. 275 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,159 We should've gone Mongolia. 276 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,679 It's the only Olia, man. 277 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,119 ♪ You better watch out 278 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,679 ♪ You better not cry 279 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:33,279 ♪ You better not pout, I'm telling you why 280 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,279 - ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... ♪ - Pain is temporary, yeah? 281 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,079 Class is permanent, yeah? 282 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,439 No... No! This is bullying! 283 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,959 ♪ To town... ♪ 284 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,079 - Yay! - Yay! 285 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,519 ♪ He's making a list, he's checking it twice... ♪ 286 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,919 Baby girl, he stinks, doesn't he? 287 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,220 No, so cute! 288 00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:51,519 REINDEER SNORTS 289 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,639 ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town 290 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,879 - ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town... ♪ - THEY CHEER 291 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,079 Go slowly, slowly. Slowly, baby. Go slowly, baby. Go... slowly, baby! 292 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,160 THEY CHUCKLE 293 00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:03,239 All right, man. 294 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:07,719 - ♪ Santa Claus is coming to town. ♪ - You having fun? - Yeah. - Oh, OK. 295 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,799 - Bye! Bye-bye! - He... I bet he's warm! 296 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,239 Watch me fly. Whoo! 297 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,560 Ha-ha, ha-ha! 298 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,959 When was the last time us two went out for dinner? 299 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,159 Er... 300 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,919 Oh, we had that muffin at the big Asda in 2014. 301 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,040 Hey? 302 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,319 Anyway, don't go getting any ideas, yeah? 303 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,279 Ordering starters and that. They're expensive. 304 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,519 Oh, you're such a flirt. 305 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,640 HE SIGHS 306 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,639 Man, look at this place. 307 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,199 Bloody whiter than a front row at a Taylor Swift gig! 308 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,439 You love Swifty. 309 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,039 I do a bit, yeah. I do. 310 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,599 Look, can you stop moaning for five minutes? 311 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,360 It's supposed to be a proper treat. 312 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,759 Han, it's the food. 313 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,119 What? 314 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,319 It's going to be bland. 315 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,159 - What do you mean by that? - You know what I mean by that. 316 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,439 Spit it out. 317 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,639 Because white people can't cook! SHE GASPS 318 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,999 - Racist! - I said what I said. 319 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,320 Wow. 320 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,719 CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS 321 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,719 SHE LAUGHS 322 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,399 But, hang on, so why did Jamie give your boss a lap dance? 323 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,799 Because he's an idiot, OK? 324 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,439 So we're there at the Christmas party. 325 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,719 Hawtrey, the boss, he's eating mince pies, all right? 326 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,999 He drops the crumbs on his lap, 327 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,919 Hawtrey's innocently just wiping the crumbs away like this, yeah? 328 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,399 Your brother thinks this means, "Give me a lap dance." 329 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,239 He comes running from the other side of the room, 330 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,399 he jumps on Hawtrey, starts brooking his back off... "Aw!" 331 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,719 ..to Cliff Richard songs. 332 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,439 Why did no-one stop him? 333 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,000 Cos it was funny. And we was recording it, so... 334 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,440 - You see? - Mm? 335 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,199 We don't laugh like this at the big Asda, do we? 336 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,520 We don't. 337 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:42,959 And I'm sorry. 338 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,999 Aw. 339 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,119 But right now, I'm hungry and I want to eat. 340 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,159 - I'm hungry. - Wagyu burgers. 341 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,479 You want to eat a wagyu burger? 342 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,839 Wagyu burgers? They're not cheap. 343 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,999 Who are you? What have you done with my husband? 344 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,439 Can we have an affair? 345 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,560 Let's have one, yeah. 346 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,960 Er, bro? 347 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,920 Bro? 348 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,159 Watch this. 349 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,640 Excuse me, sir! 350 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,359 - Waiters... - Tell me, sir, 351 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,879 have you been naughty or nice this year? 352 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,559 WAITER CHUCKLES 353 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,079 You mean, like, sexually, or what? 354 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,479 What kind of question is that at the dinner table? 355 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,839 It's a Christmas thing we need to say to our customers. 356 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,279 - Oh. - Have you been naughty or nice? 357 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,839 Naughty probably, innit, mostly? 358 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,719 He's naughty. He's a very naughty boy. 359 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,079 You lot taking Christmas serious round here. 360 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,799 I feel like I'm getting radicalised! 361 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,679 He-He doesn't really do Christmas. 362 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,119 Oh! Oh, I... I see. 363 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,199 Apologies. 364 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,720 It's all good, it's all good. 365 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,640 Have you hung up your stocking? 366 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,399 SHE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY 367 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,519 Two wagyu burgers, please. 368 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,839 Oh. Thank you. 369 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,239 - Thank you. - Thank you, my guy. - Thank you. 370 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,519 - Thank you, bruv. - Thank you. - Yeah, yeah. All right, safe. 371 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,719 Oh, bless him. 372 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,479 - Listen, after we finish up dinner here, yeah? - Yeah? 373 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,839 I've got a little idea. 374 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,239 - Me and you... - Yeah? 375 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,439 Well, the idea might get us on the naughty list. 376 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,759 Ooh! 377 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:08,839 WIND WHISTLES 378 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,480 Go! Whoo! 379 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,879 No! No pushy. No pushy! 380 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,519 HE YELLS 381 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:18,799 I don't like it! 382 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,119 Ahhhh! 383 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,359 Go, go, go! 384 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,079 Whoo! 385 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,599 Hoo-hoo-hoo! 386 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,199 WHOOPING ECHOES 387 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,839 Argh! Gonna throw my back out for a stupid flipping ice slide! 388 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,879 Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha! 389 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,159 I hate this holiday. 390 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,319 SHE LAUGHS 391 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,000 I love this holiday! 392 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,799 ♪ Little donkey, little donkey... ♪ 393 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,199 You're a big donkey. 394 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,079 Why are you so heavy for a skinny lady? 395 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,080 - Straight to the glue factory! - HE GROANS 396 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,719 THEY SIGH 397 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,120 HE SNORES 398 00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:59,599 Biscuit coma? 399 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,799 We tried to stop him. 400 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,799 - But, in the end, he paid us a quid a biscuit. - Did he? 401 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,400 HE SNORES 402 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,399 Fair enough. 403 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,799 My little entrepreneurs. I love that. 404 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,319 - We made those. - We did. 405 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,799 Dad, I want to know if Cov won, and the WiFi's down. 406 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,399 Well, don't you worry about it, 407 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,079 cos your dad is going to buy you some data roaming. 408 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,599 Oh, I'm spending the bread, baby. 409 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,799 Man like Dad making use of the data roaming! 410 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,199 Well, it's... For you? Anything, baby. 411 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,559 And guess what? 412 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,759 Sky Blues have just won 4-1. 413 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:28,839 Yes! 414 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,639 I feel like a dad in one of those Christmas adverts. 415 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,359 There's not many brown dads in the adverts, 416 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,559 but if there was, I'd feel like him. PHONE CHIMES 417 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,559 - Oh. - What you on your phone for? - CHIMING CONTINUES 418 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,439 Just getting bare messages from work, so... 419 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,239 Yeah, well, there's bare fireworks outside, so... Come on! 420 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,039 You'll need these hats and these gloves, babes. 421 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,639 - OK, girls. - It's cold out there. - HE SNORES 422 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,319 Love you. Enjoy the data roaming. 423 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,439 All right. Love you, girls. 424 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,039 You've got your gloves? You've got your hats? 425 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,559 It's going to be freezing out there. 426 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,159 MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells by Mykola Leontovych 427 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,199 HEARTBEAT THUDS 428 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,520 PHONE CHIMES 429 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,519 - Ars! - Huh? 430 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,439 - Come on! - I'll... I'll be there soon. 431 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,760 Love you, girls! 432 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,479 SOFTLY: Jay. 433 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,079 Jay! 434 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,140 Free biscuits, Jay! 435 00:15:07,141 --> 00:15:08,199 JAY YELPS 436 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,399 Listen to this. 437 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,079 "Due to a systems error, your annual bonus was incorrect. 438 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:17,319 "You received £8,000 rather than the designated £800. 439 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:22,639 "As a result, you owe Recruitimax £7,200. 440 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,959 "This amount must be returned immediately. 441 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,319 "Failure to do so could result in immediate dismissal 442 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,159 "and legal action. 443 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,599 "Happy Christmas!" 444 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,439 FIREWORKS EXPLODE 445 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,839 This ain't a happy Christmas, Jay. FIREWORKS FIZZLE 446 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,020 You are in big trouble. 447 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:38,199 MUFFLED CHEERING 448 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,319 Such big trouble. 449 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,759 I would not want to be you right now. 450 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,280 I don't want to be me right now. 451 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:50,320 PHONE CHIMES REPEATEDLY 452 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,679 Everybody get up! We're going to see Santa! 453 00:15:55,680 --> 00:16:01,959 ♪ Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day... ♪ 454 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,599 Welcome, welcome. Welcome to my grotto. 455 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,199 Please sit down. 456 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,400 All of you. 457 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,599 ELF GIGGLES 458 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,999 Please sit down. 459 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,159 PHONE RINGS 460 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,559 Now, I hope you have all been very good children. 461 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,999 What would you like Santa to bring you this Christmas? 462 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,840 I'm thinking, like, a Porsche. 463 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,039 - The elves will try their best. - ELF GIGGLES 464 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,759 Excuse me, sister, are you OK? 465 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,399 Mm-hm. 466 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,039 Do you know what I want? 467 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,559 I would like one picture with this guy. 468 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,399 - Come on. - Absolutely. Let's make that wish come true. 469 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,879 - Take your seat. - Smile, everybody! 470 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:42,959 CAMERA CLICKS 471 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,439 Merry Christmas! 472 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,879 Thank you so much, Santa. 473 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,439 - My absolute pleasure. - Thank you. Means a lot. Thank you. 474 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,519 Come on, then. 475 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,039 This way, this way, this way. 476 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,679 ♪ Well, I wish it could be Christmas... ♪ 477 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,959 It is real. 478 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,839 Yeah, just checking. 479 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,719 Can I ask you something? 480 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,319 Anything you want. 481 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,279 You haven't got, like, a spare £8,000 sitting about, have you? 482 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,879 Mm. 483 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,599 - No. - No... 484 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,720 It's all right. 485 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:17,319 ♪ So let the bells ring out for Christmas. ♪ 486 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,719 You've been putting it off all day. You've got to tell her. 487 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,680 - I'm not going to tell her nothing. - Why not? 488 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,800 Look how happy she is. 489 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:27,919 It's going to break her heart. 490 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,800 It's going to break all their hearts. 491 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,039 You can't break it, I can. 492 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,079 Leave it. Han. 493 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,200 I, er... 494 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,080 Yeah? 495 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,639 I love you, man. 496 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:44,800 I love you. 497 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,159 I've got something to tell you. 498 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,239 I know. 499 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,999 What? Wh-wh-what do you...? What do you know? 500 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,119 I know what you're going to say. 501 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,439 Do you? 502 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:56,919 It's a lot. 503 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,719 So much. 504 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,079 And you're right. 505 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,039 It is the first time I've felt happy since Mum died. 506 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,999 She would've loved it here. 507 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,679 Right. 508 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,239 And I knew this was the right thing to spend the money on! 509 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,280 Yeah... 510 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,239 I love you! 511 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,039 - Come on, selfie! - Yes! 512 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,919 Get in! Come on! 513 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,240 Santa's my babe. 514 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,319 - Fun time. - Eee! - Yes, Santa, mate. - Say Lapland! 515 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,559 - ALL: - Lapland! 516 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,359 I can't hear you! Say Lapland! 517 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,000 - ALL: - Lapland! 518 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,759 Skibidi can be good and bad, yeah? 519 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,279 Yeah. 520 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,839 I tell you what's bad. No more room service! 521 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,919 - What? - No. - But, Dad! 522 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,559 - No. - Oh, come on. - Excuse me. 523 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,119 Hi. 524 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,839 Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, 525 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,319 but I was wondering if you'd do me a favour. 526 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,760 I'm trying to move my sofa away from the window, but... 527 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,599 ..I'm not as strong as I used to be. 528 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,879 Thinking what I'm thinking? 529 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,079 Yeah. 530 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,039 You help Auntie. We're out. 531 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,679 Bye. 532 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,879 Don't spend no money. 533 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,920 I'm helping an old lady move a sofa! 534 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,560 - Coming. - Thank you. 535 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,359 Thank you so much for helping me with that sofa. 536 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,880 Oh, you're welcome. Of course! Gets me out of kid duty. 537 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,559 Would you like a brownie? 538 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,119 Oh, thank you. 539 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,480 Made in Holland. 540 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,679 - Mmm! - Lovely, aren't they? - So good. 541 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,319 These Dutch brownies, have they got... mm? 542 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:37,199 - Mm. - Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! 543 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,280 THEY LAUGH 544 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,959 Doesn't this place just warm your heart? 545 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,999 And chafe your skin. 546 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,199 After sledging, I've got arse cheeks like sandpaper. 547 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,479 OLDER LADY CHUCKLES 548 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,599 - You been here before? - Oh, yeah. 549 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,359 Sid and I have been coming here for three decades. 550 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,319 Oh, I thought you were on your own, sorry. 551 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,559 I'll leave you to it. 552 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,119 No. No, no, no. No need. 553 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,799 Sid's very quiet these days. 554 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,920 Really? 555 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,079 Meet Sid. 556 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,040 - Oh! - "Oh!" 557 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,679 To Sid. 558 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,679 To Sid. 559 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,360 And arse cheeks like sandpaper. 560 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,520 PHONE RINGS 561 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,559 PHONE CHIMES 562 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,000 Hellfire is around the corner for you, mate. 563 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,239 Is that right? 564 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,319 Jamie, listen to me and listen to me good. 565 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:48,280 You and me are in this steaming pile of crap together. 566 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,319 - What? - Yeah, you heard me. 567 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,199 Are you here on this holiday right now? 568 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,759 - Yeah. - Yes, you are. 569 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,959 Which means that technically you owe me 20% of the £7,200 570 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,959 that I owe Recruitimax. POP MUSIC THUDS THROUGH WALL 571 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,279 Do you know how much money that is? 572 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,079 £1,440. 573 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,039 Is it? 574 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,319 Can't we just tell Hannah the truth? 575 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,599 Are you...? 576 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,799 Man, her mum has just died. 577 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,039 That was my mum, too. 578 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,799 MUSIC CONTINUES 579 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,319 Yes, she was. 580 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,799 - Sorry for your loss, my brother. - It's all right. 581 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,720 Who is playing this music? 582 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,559 Two months from her diagnosis to her funeral. 583 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,600 That's all we got. 584 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,880 And you know what? I... I still haven't cried. 585 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,999 Not properly. 586 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:42,319 I think crying is overrated. 587 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:48,359 Do you know how I felt after my last massive cry? 588 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:49,919 Like crying some more? 589 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,360 Exactly. 590 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:58,120 For weeks after, I would have this dream over and over again... 591 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,679 ..and she would just walk through the door as if nothing was wrong, 592 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,800 and then I would wake up and realise that she'd gone. 593 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,759 I know. 594 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,400 Do you know what we need? 595 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,200 BOTH: More brownies! 596 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,599 POP MUSIC THUDS 597 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,199 - Hey. - Hey. 598 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,599 Oh. Here to fix the drains? 599 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,999 - Say again? - The blocked drains. 600 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,879 Oh, sorry, I thought you were maintenance, because you're... 601 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,399 Because what? 602 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,759 Oh, hang on. 603 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,759 You're here cos you recognise us. 604 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,319 - Sean... - And Sarah! 605 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,359 The wedding dance. It went viral. 606 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,479 Cousins get married, go dance crazy. 607 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,759 - Cousins? - First. 608 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,999 - Is it? - Mm-hm. 609 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,439 If you want a selfie with us... 610 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,279 This is the best light. 611 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,679 Nah, I'm all right, thank you. 612 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,079 Could you just keep the noise down? Because my children are sleeping. 613 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,159 It's Layla with a left. 614 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,639 What about the stuff I taught you, Layla? Come on, come on! 615 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,079 This... is... Sparta! 616 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,479 So sorry. 617 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,119 We will keep it down. 618 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,839 Hey, do you want to see our dance before you go? 619 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:10,279 - The one that was at your wedding? - Yeah. - The one that went viral? - Yeah. 620 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,279 Nah, I'm good, thank you. 621 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,999 Every single Christmas for 30 years? 622 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,239 Yeah. Every year, we bought the kids. 623 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,279 Then we bought the grandkids. 624 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,319 "Brought." 625 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,679 What? 626 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,199 Brought, not bought. 627 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,439 - Brought. - Oh. 628 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:32,199 Unless you actually came here and bought kids off someone. 629 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,080 Yeah! 630 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,079 THEY LAUGH 631 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,999 Oh... Do you enjoy teasing older women? 632 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,920 Oh, sorry, I guess... I guess it was a bit cheeky, wasn't it? 633 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,040 I suppose I always just, um... 634 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,599 ..just did that with my mum. 635 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,239 Oh... 636 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,919 I know. 637 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,480 Do you know what we need? 638 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,319 More brownies. 639 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,440 No, we don't. We've had enough. 640 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,399 Ah. Have I been here for days? 641 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,999 I've lost the concept of time completely. 642 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,519 I need to go home. 643 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,199 I've had such a lovely night. 644 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,919 Me too. Don't slip and go head-first in that fire. 645 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,799 No, no, I absolutely won't. I've got this. 646 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,240 - I've absolutely got this. - Oh, no! 647 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,399 I don't know what your husband will say. 648 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,559 Lily, I love you. 649 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,239 I just think this place is so magical. 650 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,119 I love it here. 651 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:32,639 I never want to leave, Lily. 652 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,120 Have you got any crisps? 653 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,680 TENSE MUSIC 654 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,960 ELF GIGGLES, BELLS JINGLE 655 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,200 REINDEER GRUNTS 656 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,799 BELL TOLLS 657 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,799 - DISTORTED VOICE: - Everyone knows you stole the money, bro. 658 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,439 HE SCREAMS 659 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,479 You all right? You were mumbling about elves. 660 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,519 You having sex dreams about elves again? 661 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,239 Ooh... 662 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,720 Yeah... Yeah. 663 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,519 Yeah, well, I'll only be an hour. See you in a bit, OK? 664 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,199 - Bye, Mum. - See you later. 665 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,599 The alpine sauna - you OK if I go? 666 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,959 Arslan? 667 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,400 The alpine sauna? 668 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,159 All right, then. 669 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,239 Then I might, um... snog the elf at the gift shop, 670 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,679 run off with him, yeah? 671 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,119 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? - Yeah. 672 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,280 OK. 673 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,759 - You two, come with us. - I'm just finishing... - Now! 674 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,879 - What is this? - We know everything. 675 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,919 - What? - The bonus, the debt. Everything. 676 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,039 How you know about that? 677 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,839 We read all your work emails when we used your iPad. 678 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,839 Is Lucy from accounts still banned from Tinder? 679 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,159 - Oh, God. - Oh, my... 680 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,759 We also know you're keeping it a secret from Mum. 681 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,519 Luckily for you, we've got a plan. 682 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,479 Thank you. 683 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:10,880 What's the plan again? 684 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,079 We win the money. 685 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,759 - It's a talent show. - Talent show? Girls, we can't do that. 686 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,879 We're serious. 687 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,999 We teach you our TikTok dances, and we win the money. 688 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,719 No, no, no, we can't do that, girls. 689 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,519 Everyone loves a performing family. 690 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,039 Do they? 691 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,519 No. Nah, we can't do this, girls. 692 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,959 You're right. 693 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,079 Better off losing your job, your house, your family. 694 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,199 Family... 695 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,279 And going to prison, where my teacher says I'll end up. 696 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,400 That's cute. 697 00:26:45,401 --> 00:26:47,519 PHONE RINGS 698 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,039 I'm sorry, girls. 699 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,279 And 1,000 euros is not enough anyway. 700 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,719 Welcome to phase two. 701 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,239 You give it to Darren at work, and he puts it into the Chinese crypto. 702 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,319 Oi. That is smart. 703 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,799 My little Spartans, come here. I'm not going to lie. 704 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,199 Oh, and not a word to Mum. 705 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,959 - You know what...? - To be fair... 706 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,119 - Slyly, this could work, you know. - Done now. - Slyly. 707 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,759 Oh, and one other thing. 708 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,279 You have to get me my own reindeer to take home on the plane. 709 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,719 Chill out. 710 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,639 Let's do it. 711 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,519 - Let's do it. - No, no, hold on, that is smart. Listen, that's smart, 712 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,639 but the right thing to do, yeah, is tell Hannah. 713 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,479 Brother, are you... are you mad? 714 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,519 Tell Hannah? 715 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,679 Look at the year she's had. She's so happy right now. 716 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,599 Oh! You're doing it, too? That's so cute! 717 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,680 Oh, can't wait! 718 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,279 And can we just say, 719 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,199 it is so nice to see a family like you here. 720 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,159 Like, blended, in more ways than one. 721 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,999 Yeah, cos you're interracial and you're into each other. 722 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,679 Hold on. No, no, we're not a couple. 723 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,599 - This is my brodie. - You know what I'm saying? 724 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,519 OK. Enjoy the snow. 725 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,239 - I imagine you don't really get that where you come from. - Yeah. 726 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,039 No, we've got snow in Coventry, thank you very much. 727 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,200 - OK, see you at the show. - See you at the show. 728 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,639 Bye. 729 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:01,919 So jolly... 730 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,359 How are we going to beat them? 731 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,039 Don't worry about them. We've got plans. 732 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,200 Come on. 733 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,599 - Are you insane? - No, I'm not insane. 734 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,119 I'm just doing what you asked me to do. 735 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,399 I'm out here spending time with the girls and making memories 736 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,199 - and all that kind of stuff. - I mean this with love... 737 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,799 It's not going to be with love, but go on. 738 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,799 - I'm a bit worried. - Why? 739 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,599 Last time you danced, people thought you were having a seizure. 740 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,999 OK, everyone, first we need to watch the TikTok versions, 741 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,559 and then we can start doing rehearsals. 742 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,200 - Hi. - Bye. 743 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,359 Yeah, you lot will batter 'em, don't worry about that. 744 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,599 Seven, eight, and one, two, there, and four... 745 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,119 - Love it. - And six... 746 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,959 Nothing can stop us from winning this. 747 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,720 ..three and four. Five, six, seven... 748 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,959 - Whoo! OK. - All right. 749 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,159 Let's do it again. 750 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:57,520 Might have some work to do. 751 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,119 We're going to teach you some moves. 752 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,519 Up. 753 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:02,999 Clap. 754 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,319 Pull. And pull. 755 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,759 Up, clap, pull, pull. 756 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,799 - You're going fast, you're going fast. - A bit fast. 757 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,439 Three, four. 758 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:12,719 Six... Yes! 759 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,039 - Oh, that's good. - That felt good. It was OK. - Put it there. 760 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:20,159 - GIRLS: - Three, two, one. Up, down, pull, pull. 761 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,559 - Embarrassing. - OK, again. 762 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,959 Up, down, pull, pull. 763 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,359 One, two, three, and four. 764 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,119 Up, clap, pull, pull. 765 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,760 Side, side. 766 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,199 That's it, innit? 767 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:35,479 Big sli... Argh! 768 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,599 No! 769 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,079 - No. - I knew it. 770 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,239 Ugh... 771 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,560 - Great. - I think we're good. - I think we're good. - Yeah. 772 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,959 Seriously? 773 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,239 All I'm saying is hearing Sid's burps 774 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,919 isn't the thing I miss most about him, 775 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,559 although it's definitely in the top ten. 776 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,079 Even the smell. 777 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,399 Wish I could forget my husband's burps. 778 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,359 I have smelt Sid's burps across six different decades. 779 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,360 Arslan's are somewhere between... 780 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:14,919 ..crabsticks and damp. 781 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,160 Nice. 782 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,999 All I'm saying is, you know, seize the day. 783 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,039 You don't know when you're going to miss those burps. 784 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,319 Trust me, I won't. 785 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,239 Trust me, you will. 786 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,959 Me and Sid, we used to ride the reindeer trail, 787 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:36,279 and every year we used to stop under the northern lights, 788 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:41,119 and the last thing Sid said to me was that he wanted me 789 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,760 to scatter his ashes under the northern lights. 790 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,959 That's so beautiful. 791 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,799 We must do it. 792 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,840 Can't. 793 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,720 It'll be too much. 794 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,719 - Thanks for the money, Dad. - See you later. 795 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,159 They're too powerful. 796 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,519 This secret's got you over a barrel, bruv. 797 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,759 You created monsters. 798 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,799 40 euros for a sandwich and a hot chocolate. 799 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,319 I'm going to starve out here, rude boy - 800 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,079 - my blood sugar can't handle all that. - What do you want me to do? 801 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,119 These girls have got us down bad, man - they cleared us out. 802 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,919 - Bad down... - I don't want to offend you, 803 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,399 but Ramadan is way better vibes than this. 804 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,359 Ramadan would be sick here. 805 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,999 Think about it. Four hours of daylight, the rest of the time, 806 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,879 what you doing? You're munching. 807 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,719 And you got time for the spiritual devotion 808 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,559 and self-reflection too, obviously. 809 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,719 - Do I need to be sorry? - No. - No. 810 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,919 - That's actually a sick idea. - That's a sick idea, right there. 811 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:38,959 Cuz, mate, sick idea. 812 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,559 - Special hug? - Not right now. - That's fine by me. That's cool. 813 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,800 BIRDSONG 814 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,360 PHONE CHIMES REPEATEDLY 815 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,880 LIFT PINGS 816 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,400 That's Sean and Sarah's breakfast. Intercept, intercept! 817 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,919 We'll take this. 818 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,719 Our aunt and uncle love it when we bring them breakfast in the morning. 819 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,999 Oh. Excellent. 820 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,519 Saves me seeing their wedding dance. 821 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,399 - Again. - BOTH: Yeah. 822 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,560 Bye. 823 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,799 Activate Operation Drain Water. 824 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,280 MUSIC: We Wish You A Merry Christmas 825 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,000 Hi. 826 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,519 JOINTS CRACK 827 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:36,920 Oh... 828 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,559 JOINTS CRACK AGAIN 829 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,280 HE GRUNTS, SHE WINCES 830 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,439 Knees too big for their sockets. 831 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,319 Oh, wow. 832 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:51,800 It's both ends. 833 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,199 I think it's viral. 834 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:55,399 A bit like your wedding dance. 835 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,039 - Sorry? - Nothing. 836 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,639 Get well soon, stay hydrated. 837 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,199 Thank you. 838 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,480 Yes, baby! 839 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,060 STOMACH GURGLES 840 00:33:04,061 --> 00:33:05,159 Oh, no. 841 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,959 WET FARTS 842 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,159 OK. 843 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,519 Let's, er... let's go win this talent competition. 844 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,879 1,000 euros up for grabs. 845 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,839 It's not all about winning, you know. 846 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,079 Just have a good time. 847 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,839 Mum, we came here to win. 848 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,279 All right, calm down. 849 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,960 - We're about to cut these rugs and get this money. - Mm. 850 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,999 Come on. Come on, my little Legionnaires. Come on, come on. 851 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,559 - Let's go. - Come on, then. 852 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:30,679 OK, love you. 853 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,040 Love you. 854 00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:33,399 PHONE RINGS 855 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,880 Don't love you. 856 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,599 - That's not the card. - That's not the card. 857 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,719 Right, OK. 858 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,640 Thank you to the amazing... 859 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,159 ..Beverley. 860 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,080 SCATTERED APPLAUSE 861 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,079 Right, OK. 862 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,799 So, next up... Ooh! 863 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:06,319 ..please welcome the Full Force Farooqis. 864 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,880 - Yeah! Whoo! - WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE 865 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,360 - Here we go. - Mm. 866 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,559 ♪ Somebody, a-somebody 867 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,119 ♪ If you wanna party say party, say, "Party" 868 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,399 - ♪ Party! - Say, "Party" 869 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:27,760 - ♪ Party! - Come on 870 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:32,479 ♪ If you wanna party and that's a fact somebody say 871 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,960 - ♪ "And you know that" - And you know that! 872 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,439 ♪ We don't care if you're eight to ten 873 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,519 ♪ Or if you're a senior citizen 874 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,879 ♪ Cos we got a beat that just won't end 875 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,039 ♪ So you better get ready to rock, my friend! 876 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,199 ♪ You see, we got some news that you can use 877 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,399 ♪ An offer that you can't refuse 878 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,679 ♪ We're givin' up honey, and you got to come 879 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,960 ♪ Because you're the one! 880 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,239 ♪ Red, yellow, black, white, or brown 881 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:58,239 ♪ In our own way, we can all get down 882 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,359 ♪ So just take your time and enjoy yourself 883 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,439 ♪ And you'll rock as good as anyone else 884 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:03,639 ♪ A-come on 885 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,119 ♪ Raise your hand up above your head 886 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,959 ♪ If you agree with what I said 887 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,399 ♪ Then writhe your hands all in the air 888 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:11,479 ♪ Somebody say, "Oh, yeah" 889 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,080 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 890 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,680 Oi! Ow. 891 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,679 MUSIC STOPS 892 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,959 Sorry. I got lost in the music, bruv. 893 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:20,999 Whoops. 894 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,839 HEARTBEAT THUDS, CROWD WHISPERS 895 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,999 MUSIC: Carol Of The Bells 896 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,519 I felt it... 897 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,239 Feel like this relationship could do with a bit of excitement. 898 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:31,879 Eight bags?! 899 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,159 It is the first time I've felt happy since Mum died. 900 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,079 You stole the money, bro. 901 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,079 You are in big trouble. 902 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,879 We win the money. 903 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,040 - Win the money. - Win the money. 904 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,639 MUSIC RESUMES 905 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,159 - Come on, you too. We can still doing this. - Argh! 906 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,399 ♪ See I'm so bad and I'm so light 907 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,839 ♪ To write a rhyme on a dime to make the world turn twice 908 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,839 ♪ And I'm Mr Ness, that rock the best 909 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,079 ♪ And I'm ready to rock at your request 910 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,439 ♪ Go on, go on with your bad self 911 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,559 ♪ Raheim is gonna do the rest 912 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,639 ♪ Grandmaster, cut faster 913 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,119 ♪ Than any known, stone to the bone 914 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,079 ♪ Full-grown he's a one of a kind 915 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,879 ♪ And Flash is gonna rock your mind 916 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,560 ♪ Beep beep, you in the crew, hold it. ♪ 917 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,120 CHEERING 918 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,320 Are you not entertained?! 919 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:38,879 I got to go. 920 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,159 I got to go, I got to go. 921 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:41,959 Argh, I've got cramp! Stretch my leg. 922 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,200 For you, juicy mama. 923 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,279 THEY CHEER 924 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,319 1,000 euros! 925 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,479 We did it! We won! 926 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:50,959 - What I was thinking... - Yeah? 927 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,040 ..we should give the prize money to Lily. 928 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,959 Say what? 929 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:03,239 Hey, girls, you guys just go and live your lives on your devices. 930 00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:05,759 No time limit today, OK? Love you. 931 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,039 Night, my little Spartans. 932 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,160 Love you, darlings. Smashed it. 933 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,319 You're being silly. You're joking around. 934 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,039 Well, she wants to scatter Sid's ashes under the northern lights. 935 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,119 Who is Sid? 936 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:17,879 Well, her husband, he's dead. 937 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,919 Oh, come on, it'll be so magical. 938 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,039 We should pay for it. 939 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,199 Why would you say that? 940 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,359 - Come on, we can afford it. - We really can't. 941 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,759 - We can afford it. - We really can't. - Not right now. 942 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,679 Babe, you're holding a grand in your hand. 943 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,399 Do you know what I mean? It's the right thing to do. 944 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,679 Plus memories are more important than money, aren't they? 945 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,199 Yeah, come on, you know it's going to feel good giving her closure. 946 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,119 You know what's going to feel better? Keep the money. 947 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,079 - That's going to feel great. - That's going to feel... 948 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,319 - See? Jamie agrees. - Sweet old lady, she's just lost her husband. 949 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,359 - She's not sweet. - I don't care about Lily. 950 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,399 I certainly don't care about Sid. 951 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,359 - How can you say that you...? - I'm saying it. 952 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,839 Sweet old lady! 953 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,799 - Not sweet. - She is, and she just... 954 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,519 She reminds me of Mum. She's got, you know... 955 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,079 - Oh, no. - Yeah. - This what this is? 956 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,399 Have you seen her eyes? They're very, very similar. 957 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,159 - They... They... They... - Don't do it. - Yeah. - Don't do it. - Yeah. 958 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,519 Cos you know your mum. 959 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,799 The mannerisms are really similar, like... 960 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,039 Mum's gone, innit? 961 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,719 And the way she carries her handbag and stuff, and the way she... 962 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,479 ..walks. 963 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,039 She smells like lemon sorbet. 964 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,759 What are you doing now? 965 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,199 They smell the same. 966 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,399 It is Mum. 967 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,479 It's not Mum. 968 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,679 - It is Mum, innit? - I feel that she's here. 969 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,599 - It is. - How is it Mum? Is your mum called Lily? - It is. 970 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:31,959 Is your dad Sid? 971 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,639 They smell the same as the... 972 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,839 - It's Mum, innit? - It's Mum. 973 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,999 - I really miss her, babe. - Oh, sis, it's Mum, sis. 974 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,519 I miss her so much. It is her, innit? It is Mum. 975 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,279 - ♪ Christmas - The snow's comin' down... ♪ 976 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:49,319 It's Mum, innit? 977 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:53,039 - ♪ Christmas - I'm watchin' it fall 978 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,879 - ♪ Christmas - Lots of people around... ♪ 979 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:57,919 HE PUFFS 980 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,839 - ♪ Christmas - Baby, please come home 981 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,479 - ♪ Christmas - The church bells in town 982 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,199 - ♪ Christmas - Are ringin' in song 983 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,039 - ♪ Christmas - What a happy sound 984 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,879 - ♪ Christmas - Baby, please come home... ♪ 985 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:19,519 - You going to eat that? - You did me dirty last night, you know? 986 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,319 Crying in front of your sister, what'd you do that for? 987 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,159 The smell of lemon sorbet did me in. 988 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,079 Plus I think it's actually Mum. 989 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,279 Do all mums smell of lemon sorbet? 990 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:30,680 Well, yours did. 991 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:34,640 Let me take that. 992 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,279 All good. 993 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,480 Can you imagine if this was actually real reindeer, like that? 994 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,879 Jay, it's reindeer kebab. 995 00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:49,600 What do you think it's made out of? 996 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,119 - Serious? - Yeah. - Whoa. 997 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,799 Tastes quite nice, to be fair. 998 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,479 Sorry, Rudolph. 999 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,359 Where am I going to get this money? 1000 00:39:58,360 --> 00:39:59,640 Plus size modelling. 1001 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,399 I am kind of sexy for a fat guy, still. 1002 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,519 - Always said that. - You always have said that. 1003 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,439 Or sell your body hair. 1004 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:09,519 Sorry? 1005 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,640 There's this place in China that makes wigs using human hair. 1006 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,919 You're a hairy guy. 1007 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,479 Obviously I don't know that for sure, I'm just assuming, but... 1008 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:19,999 HE WHISTLES 1009 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,119 You know what I am. I'm doomed. 1010 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,159 Damnation, man's forsaken, don't eat bacon. 1011 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,200 PHONE CHIMES 1012 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,639 - Jamie? - Yeah? 1013 00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,399 Did you tell work that we're in Lapland? 1014 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:34,879 Yes. 1015 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,759 Yes, I did. 1016 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:37,959 Webcam. 1017 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,439 - What webcam? - Give the boys a wave. 1018 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:41,799 - Is that a livestream? - Yeah. 1019 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,079 Jamie, you're an idiot! 1020 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,279 What's the problem? 1021 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,759 Hi. Hi. 1022 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,959 I, er... I liked your dancing yesterday. 1023 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,879 Yo. 1024 00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,919 Where you going, man? 1025 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,719 - Brother, I can't mess this up again. - You'll be fine. 1026 00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:01,559 - Promise? - 100%. - You sure 50's enough? - Easy. 1027 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:05,719 - Hello, sir. You all right? - Yeah. - I need you to do me a favour, OK? 1028 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,039 This favour's very simple. 1029 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,359 When my family arrive here, you need to tell them 1030 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,919 that all of your very lovely rides here are completely sold out 1031 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,399 for the day, "You can't go in any more, go back to the hotel." 1032 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,199 - Do you understand? - Understood, sir. - Are you locked in? - Yeah. 1033 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,319 If you do this for me, if you do this for us... 1034 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,239 ..we've got a little something for you, yeah? 1035 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:23,399 Hold that, sir. 1036 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,239 - Understood. - All right. - Understood, sir. - Yeah? - Yeah. 1037 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:27,520 - Yeah? - Mm. - Come on, then. 1038 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:34,720 REINDEER GRUNTS AND GROWLS 1039 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:39,880 - WHISPERING: - I'm sorry. 1040 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,759 - Hey! - Hi! - So, this is my beautiful family... - Hello. 1041 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,719 ..and we need, sir, your very best reindeer ride 1042 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,079 to see the northern lights. 1043 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,679 And for the ride, sir, I have 1,000 euros for you. 1044 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,439 - No problem, no problem. - What? What? Huh? - No problem, sir. 1045 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:01,600 No problem, sir. 1046 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,879 Are you sure you're not all booked out? 1047 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:06,920 No, sir, no! 1048 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,799 Why don't you guys go and pick your favourite sleigh over there? 1049 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,159 Yes! 1050 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,839 Not you as... Why you do me like that? Why? 1051 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,639 I've got kids to feed. 1052 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,759 And, actually, the ride is 1,100 euros, 1053 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,799 so you owe me another 100. 1054 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,080 Thank you. 1055 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,519 This is your final voyage. 1056 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,760 Oh, don't. 1057 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,119 I'm on a reindeer ride with my dad. 1058 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:47,919 Say something. 1059 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,639 - I don't really like reindeer. - No, no, no, say something nice. 1060 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,919 - What, nice? - Yeah. Yeah, like, happy. - OK. 1061 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:56,119 I'm so happy to be here with my baby girl on these rein... 1062 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,960 - They smell funny, though. - No, no. 1063 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,399 {\an8}Do you ever feel like they can speak to you, do you think, Layla? 1064 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:04,880 {\an8}- Yeah. - You think so? 1065 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,559 Thank you. 1066 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:25,600 OK. 1067 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,799 {\an8}TREES CREAK 1068 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,160 {\an8}WIND WHISTLES 1069 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,480 Oop! 1070 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,080 OK, Sid. 1071 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:02,920 Oh... 1072 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,080 - Oh. - Oh. 1073 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,000 My days. 1074 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,319 Goodbye, my darling. 1075 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:18,440 I love you. 1076 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,680 MUSIC: Reach For The Stars by S Club 7 1077 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,799 Oi! Turn it off! 1078 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,120 Thought it might help. 1079 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,479 I'm going to tell you what I told you at Mum's funeral. 1080 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,319 S Club is inappropriate mourning music. 1081 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,359 GETTING LOUDER: ♪ We've got to all stick together... ♪ 1082 00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:05,759 Dude. 1083 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,559 I'm trying to turn it off. 1084 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,239 EVEN LOUDER: ♪ Never, ever forget that I've got you... ♪ 1085 00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:12,599 - Turn it off! - I'm trying to! 1086 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,679 LOUDER STILL: ♪ And you've got me, so... ♪ 1087 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,959 MUSIC STOPS 1088 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:18,640 Thank God she's hard of hearing. 1089 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,439 Thank you. 1090 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,759 You didn't have to do this, but thank you. 1091 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,599 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1092 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:29,839 Thank you. 1093 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,680 Memories are worth more than money. 1094 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,159 - TEARFULLY: - I just can't stop thinking about lemon sorbet. 1095 00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:38,599 Yeah, go on, give him a hug. 1096 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,799 Come here. 1097 00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,720 Ah, it's all right. 1098 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,279 All right, Auntie. 1099 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:49,400 - Yeah. - Jindari. 1100 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,520 - I can see how much this meant to you. - Thank you. 1101 00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,159 Can we get out of here now? Because it feels very culty. 1102 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,320 Yeah, all right, then. 1103 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,759 You know, I think I'd be sad if you died. 1104 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,039 You "think"? 1105 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,399 It's just hard to be sure. 1106 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:12,999 Get in the sleigh. 1107 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,280 Go on. "Hard to be sure"! 1108 00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,159 Thank you for everything. 1109 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,279 I couldn't have done it on my own. 1110 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,159 I'm just so happy we gave Sid his big send-off. 1111 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,999 - Bless you. - Yeah. 1112 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,479 - See you. - See you tomorrow. 1113 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,080 Walk me down the hall, girls, OK? 1114 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,720 I needed that, you know. 1115 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:38,240 I know. 1116 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:41,480 She's like an angel. 1117 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,680 She's kind of old for an angel, though, innit? 1118 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:58,959 I mean, that angel needs a hip replacement, no? 1119 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:00,240 No. 1120 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:08,760 Brother, come on. 1121 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,959 You two have got a very special mum and dad, do you know that? 1122 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,319 Well, we have a very special mum. 1123 00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,079 Will you give them an extra big hug tonight? Promise? 1124 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,359 Dad will get enough hugs in prison. 1125 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,040 What are you talking about? 1126 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,359 - Hi. - We're back. 1127 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,559 Oh, hello. 1128 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,199 Did Lily get back OK? 1129 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,839 Oh, yeah, she said she loves you. 1130 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,719 What did she say about me, baby girl? 1131 00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:43,840 She says she thinks you'll manage OK in prison. 1132 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,359 Why would your dad be going to prison? 1133 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,119 No-one's... No-one's going to prison. 1134 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,359 - How silly, how silly. - Yeah. 1135 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,839 He's not going to prison. 1136 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,560 He's right, they'll probably just make you pay it back, to be honest. 1137 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,719 - You know what time it is? - Yeah? - Time to sing a Christmas carol. 1138 00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:06,559 - OK. - Are we ready? - Oh, yeah. 1139 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,359 FLATLY: ♪ Silent night 1140 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,159 - FINDING THE NOTE: - ♪ Si... Silent night... ♪ 1141 00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,919 Wow. 1142 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,639 ♪ Silent night, doo-doo-doo 1143 00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:20,239 ♪ Holy night, doo-doo-doo 1144 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:23,919 - ♪ Silent! - Love of God, love's pure light 1145 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,559 - ♪ In heavenly peace - Pon de sleigh 1146 00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:31,559 - ♪ God in heavenly peace - Pon de sleigh all day 1147 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:35,359 - ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace - Stay out my yard 1148 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:39,119 - ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace - What's Santa doing in my yard? ♪ 1149 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,720 You better tell me what's going on. Now. 1150 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,559 I don't know where to begin. 1151 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:55,199 How about poisoning the newlyweds with drain water in their coffee? 1152 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,519 This girl. 1153 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,240 One day she'll learn, inshallah. 1154 00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:02,399 Well, we did have a plan. 1155 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,800 Didn't we have a plan? 1156 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,079 We was going to take the winnings, 1157 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,519 and then, um, give it to Darren so he could invest in Chinese crypto. 1158 00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,119 Darren? 1159 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,199 Who lives with his nan? 1160 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,319 Darren, who's banned from the swimming pool? 1161 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,639 Are you off your tights? 1162 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,799 You and I need a chat. Right, you lot, bed. 1163 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,520 Oh, don't go, don't go. 1164 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,039 Can I go on my phone a bit before bed? 1165 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,560 If you've done wees and teeth. 1166 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,320 Stay, stay for a bit, innit? 1167 00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:52,759 Hannah, what are we going to do? 1168 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,080 I don't know. 1169 00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,639 I'll think of something, cos we have to. 1170 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,799 Han, not this time. 1171 00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:04,000 People like us can't just figure out £7,200, can they? 1172 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,159 With everything you've been through this year, 1173 00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,080 I just wanted you to have the perfect Christmas, you know? 1174 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,600 And look what I've done. 1175 00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,919 There's no amount of Father Christmases or reindeers 1176 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,800 that are going to sort this out, so... 1177 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:22,360 ..I'm sorry. 1178 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,840 You lied to me for days. 1179 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,000 You hatched a stupid plan. 1180 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:35,799 You roped my brother and my kids into this. 1181 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,440 And you did it all behind my back. 1182 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:41,840 That... 1183 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,280 - TEARING UP: - ..is the nicest thing... 1184 00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,040 ..anyone's ever done for me. 1185 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,119 Say again? 1186 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:53,400 SHE SNIFFS 1187 00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,119 You were protecting me. 1188 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,279 - Was I? - Yeah. 1189 00:50:58,280 --> 00:50:59,639 Yeah, yeah. 1190 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,599 Cos you knew how much it meant, because of my mum. 1191 00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,959 Yeah, I said that, yeah. 1192 00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:06,959 That's what I said, yes. 1193 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,119 You gave me the perfect Christmas. 1194 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:10,519 - Did I? - Yeah. 1195 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,079 - This is the perfect Christmas for you? - Yeah. 1196 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,439 And you don't even believe in Christmas. 1197 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,560 Not really. 1198 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,959 Oh, you're a tit. 1199 00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:21,919 - I'll take it. - Yeah? - Yeah, I'll take it. 1200 00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,159 - Yeah, take that? - Yeah, I will, yeah, I'll take that. - Take that one. - Yeah. 1201 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,879 - But I love you. - Do you? 1202 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:31,279 You're my best mate and you're the love of my life, and I love you. 1203 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:32,320 Oh! 1204 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,759 Oh, I love you. I'll be honest with you, 1205 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,120 this went so much better than I thought it would. 1206 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,920 BIRDSONG 1207 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:58,280 Shall we go out and do something? Something that's free? 1208 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:02,000 I'm trying to sell my kidneys on the dark web right now. 1209 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,400 I might go and see Lily, then. 1210 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,840 Just felt weird, like she was never even there. 1211 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,599 I thought she might've... 1212 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,679 I don't know. Didn't even get her email. 1213 00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:58,680 Do you even have an email when you're 84? 1214 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:07,239 Look, I feel sympathetic towards you two and your new mum, 1215 00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:12,320 but either this auntie bounced this morning, or she's a ghost, OK? 1216 00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:15,519 And I've got bigger fish to fry, anyway. 1217 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,039 Really big fish. 1218 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,679 A seven-grand fish. 1219 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,880 Yeah, I get the whole fish thing, but, um... 1220 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:24,959 ..what do you want to do? 1221 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:26,000 HE SIGHS 1222 00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,879 Could try and get a refund on these last three days. 1223 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,679 They're never going to give you a refund. 1224 00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:33,119 How...? You don't know that. 1225 00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:34,359 Because they won't! 1226 00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,959 - Let's try. - Really? - Will you try for me? 1227 00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,799 - Well, I'll do it for you. - Yeah? - Yeah. Come on, then. 1228 00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:42,119 - You coming as well? - No, I've got stuff to do. 1229 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:43,160 Come on. 1230 00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:49,999 DOOR CLOSES 1231 00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,120 Lily, if you're there... 1232 00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:56,920 ..give me a sign. 1233 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,159 No? 1234 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,119 All right, then. Cool. 1235 00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,359 I'm afraid we can't really order more snow, sir. 1236 00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:09,479 It comes from... the sky. 1237 00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:11,639 TripAdvisor will hear about this, Leena. 1238 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,239 No stars, Leena. 1239 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:14,519 Merry Christmas! 1240 00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,839 - FALSELY: - "Merry Christmas." 1241 00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,599 - Hello, sir. - Hello. - Hello, madam. - Hi. - How are you? 1242 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:22,959 So, sister Leena, we have an issue. 1243 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,959 Our kids are sick. 1244 00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:28,639 - Right. - And we don't want anyone else to get sick, OK? 1245 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,879 So we're probably going to cut early from this Lapland. 1246 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,639 - They're so ill. - Right. 1247 00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,319 And as a result, my wife had the idea that we could possibly 1248 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,519 get a refund on the last three days of our stay, 1249 00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,199 just to get these sick children out of your hotel. 1250 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:44,399 - Can I have your room number, please, sir? - 29. - Right. 1251 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,919 There's a lot of vomit up in 29, you know. 1252 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,239 I'm afraid no. No refund. 1253 00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:50,519 Once a room is booked, 1254 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,479 the amount must be paid in full, regardless of occupancy. 1255 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:56,839 Mm-hm. Mm. Could you do something for us? Kids are sick, man. 1256 00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:00,799 No refunds, full stop. 1257 00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,039 - Thank you, Leena. - You've been so helpful. 1258 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,879 - Merry Christmas. - No, you. 1259 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,839 You, merry Christmas. 1260 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,519 Oh, Mrs Farooqi. 1261 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,039 This was left for you this morning. 1262 00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:12,239 Merry Christmas. 1263 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,520 No, no, really, merry Christmas to you. 1264 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,599 Arslan. 1265 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,760 Ars! 1266 00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:31,280 Why, why, why you crying? 1267 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:37,559 "To Arslan and Hannah, memories are worth more than money. 1268 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:42,279 "See you back here next year. Your Auntie Lily." 1269 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:46,879 MUSIC: Ode To Joy by Beethoven 1270 00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:49,039 Hey, yo, brrap! 1271 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,439 - Is everything OK, sir? - Yes! - More than all right! - Yes! 1272 00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:55,119 - Oh. - Auntie Lily left you £8,000. 1273 00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:59,399 - Yeah. - Ah, Lily! - Yeah. - Yeah, she has always been such a generous lady. 1274 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,399 - Has she? - It's unusual for someone so wealthy. 1275 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,119 - Is it? - Yeah. 1276 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:05,719 How much wealthy? 1277 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:09,559 Her and her husband made their fortune in blankets. 1278 00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:10,839 - I love blankets. - Yeah! 1279 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:13,439 Oh, she's the best customer we've ever had. 1280 00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:16,399 - A wonderful lady. - She really is. - Yeah. 1281 00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:18,959 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas! 1282 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,660 Big up yourself, Leena. 1283 00:56:20,661 --> 00:56:22,359 PHONE RINGS 1284 00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,919 - Hello? - Arslan? Arslan Farooqi? It's Dominic Hawtrey. 1285 00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:27,999 We've been urgently trying to get hold of you. 1286 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,799 Yes. Mr Hawtrey, how are you? 1287 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:35,959 You've been avoiding us for days, and you owe us £7,200, immediately. 1288 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:37,119 - Listen, mate... - Mate? 1289 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,199 ..if it's agreeable with you, 1290 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:41,719 I'd like to send you that amount in the AM. 1291 00:56:41,720 --> 00:56:44,279 By tomorrow? Well, yes, I suppose that would be acceptable. 1292 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,399 Yeah? OK. Thank you, Hawtrey. 1293 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,719 See you when I'm back in the office. 1294 00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:50,079 We really should be considering your position here in the company... 1295 00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,439 Thank you, all the best, Hawtrey. Bye. Bye. Bye! 1296 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,560 HANNAH LAUGHS EXCITEDLY 1297 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,559 Sh-sh-sh! 1298 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:56,399 Oh, by the way... 1299 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:58,639 - Yeah? - ..let me know if you need a doctor. 1300 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,279 - Huh? - Why? 1301 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,279 For your sick child? 1302 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:05,879 - Ah, them kids is feeling... - I think they're feeling a bit... 1303 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,759 - ..much better with eight bags! - So much better... - Oh. Oh, great. 1304 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,240 Open the lift. 1305 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,239 LIFT PINGS 1306 00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:12,679 Get in the lift, Cuz. Get in. 1307 00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,199 Let's go tell the girls! And Jamie! 1308 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:19,919 - ALL, CHANTING: - Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! 1309 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,479 Whoo! 1310 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,439 Let's do the dance one more time. 1311 00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,999 Absolutely not, little girl. 1312 00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,079 No more dancing. 1313 00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:30,440 My back's hurting! 1314 00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:32,759 Hi. 1315 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,880 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 1316 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,080 CHEERING 1317 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,199 Ah, it's nice, that, innit? 1318 00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:05,759 What? 1319 00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:09,559 Why is the lady from reception abducting your uncle? 1320 00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:11,400 Now that is a Christmas miracle. 1321 00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,679 Salaam, Lapland. You were terrible! 1322 00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:17,439 We ain't never coming back to this cold place again. 1323 00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:20,039 - Shall we go somewhere hot next year? - Let's go Auntie Janet's, man. 1324 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,719 She's always got the heating on too high. 1325 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,999 - ♪ Merry merry merry - Christmas 1326 00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,279 - ♪ Merry merry merry - Christmas 1327 00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:31,799 - ♪ Merry merry merry - Christmas 1328 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,159 - ♪ Celebrate on - Christmas 1329 00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:34,879 - ♪ It's a family ting on - Christmas 1330 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:38,879 ♪ Santa Santa's coming to town Santa Santa's coming to town 1331 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,960 ♪ And he knows when you're sleeping and when you're not around 1332 00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:44,560 ♪ Yeah. ♪