John Luke, you see it?
I see trees.
- I can totally see it. - John Reed: Yeah, me, too.
- See? - John Luke: You can see it?
You know what I see when I see this?
The most epic BMX course ever made.
Parenting is a tricky thing.
You want your kids to be safe,
but not too safe.
Mary Kate: My kids aren't getting on it.
This is gonna be so much fun having y'all here.
And comfortable, but not too comfortable.
Good grief.
Three and a half years trying for a baby is just a lot.
Hey, what's the problem? Shooting blanks?
It ain't ever easy,
but we still really want to do it.
Jacob, this is testicle intervention.
Welcome to Bull Testicles 101.
No matter what it takes.
One man's trash
is another man's obstacle course.
John Luke: Let's go!
Man down.
Well, y'all get your stuff together. Let me know
- when you're ready, all right? - Okay, I'll let you know.
- John Reed: What is he doing? - John Luke: I don't know.
He'll probably forget about this tomorrow.
♪ I just wanna go fast ♪
♪ Life goes by in a flash ♪
♪ Living free, no looking back ♪
♪ I just wanna go fast ♪
♪ Keep growing from the past ♪
♪ Can't slow me down ♪
♪ I wanna go fast or lean back ♪
♪ Clean right out ♪
♪ Go fast, make the good times last ♪
♪ Yeah, I just wanna go ♪
Smug Boy, you think you can do that?
- You think you could? - You think you can?
I wanna see somebody get some air.
There we go. There's some air.
Oh, this is cool.
I'm telling you, when I was a kid,
I had everything in my yard
to really be a BMX bike rider.
I can be that.
You could be that.
I've seen the yard you grew up in.
It was a junk yard.
If you can ride a bike in a junk yard,
you can ride a bike anywhere. This is easy.
That is not safe.
We're not riding bikes in junk yards.
That's the problem with today.
Everybody's trying to be too safe.
John Luke's a great dad, but ever since he's had kids,
I just worry that-- is he becoming too cautious?
No. I mean,
maybe compared to your upbringing.
- Wanna go ride on the bike? - Go for it.
Well, I'm just gonna nudge him a little bit
just to remember the danger zone.
- The danger zone? - That's the fun zone.
We're gonna wait for those lights to go.
When they go, you pounce like a lion
when that gate drops, okay?
Okay.
There you go, buddy. There you go.
- Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal. - Pedal, pedal, pedal.
- Come on, Shep. - A lot of kids don't
- attack it like that. - Go, go, go, go, go!
Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal.
- Here he comes. - John Reed: Really fast!
- Right there, buddy! Pedal... - Pedal, Shep, pedal.
- Yeah. Whoo-hoo! - Good job!
He just lapped you!
First time around the track and he made it the whole way.
- What?! - Dude, he just did it.
Nice job, dude.
- Boom. - John Luke: Isn't this awesome?
We can come here any time.
Deep down, I think he's got
that free-range parent inside of him.
I think he just needs Grandpa
to be the one with the bad ideas.
I tell you what, though, this is easy street.
Like, you don't have to watch out for junk cars
and stuff in the yard
or, like, dogs that are trying to bite you.
We need something kind of Robertson style, you know?
You know, just kind of put a little redneck touch on it.
Look, nobody does DIY theme parks like the Robertsons.
Gentlemen, we are gonna build the greatest water park
that's ever been assembled.
Whoo!
It worked.
All right, it worked.
Hit it.
Whoa!
He gone.
Redneck rec centers
are basically a family tradition.
Maybe a water feature.
We definitely don't need a water feature.
You don't know how to learn how to jump a bike
until you got to jump it over water.
Especially with stuff in the water.
Yeah.
John Luke: This place is awesome.
I don't know why we can't just come here,
why Dad is always wanting to just build our own thing.
We're already at the next level.
We don't need to take it to the next, next level.
It is settled. We are building our own track.
John Luke, I'm gonna put you in charge of it.
Wait, so I'm in charge?
Well, I'm in charge,
but I'm putting you in charge.
- Okay. - Me being the person in charge
tells other people who's in charge,
and so you're in charge of this.
- Okay. - But I'll tell you what.
It's actually good I'm in charge
because my dad's highest priority is not safety.
If you have the property, build it.
Hey, like Kevin Costner did
on-- when he built that baseball park in that cornfield.
If you build it, they'll come.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Wow.
- This is a lot of stuff. - Yep.
This is gonna be so much fun having y'all here.
Yeah, it's exciting.
Look, everyone has their own parenting style.
Like, your parenting style is pressure and pester.
You know what'd be better,
if y'all just moved over here.
♪ Will and Abby ♪
♪ Come on home, Will and Abby ♪
♪ Come on home ♪
You're going to Monroe.
You're going to Monroe! He said it.
My style works, but when I said move home,
I meant, like, in the area.
Not, like, in our house.
Like, that's different.
It's just for a little while,
just until they get on their feet.
That's the way it starts.
- Oh. - Okay.
- Isn't this cute? - Uh, yeah.
- Where did you put my bed? - In the attic.
- This is different. - I thought it'd be so cute
to have a bunk bedroom.
Well, for the grandkids.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Ollie, what do you think?
- Do you like it? - She's curious.
- I think she likes it. - Oh, she likes it.
She likes it.
I'm not a big fan of how she changed my room.
I'm not sure if I like this.
- We'll make do. - Yeah.
No, I call top bunk for sure.
I mean, I'll get used to it.
What's up, guys? Welcome.
- What's up? - I thought y'all were
leaving the dog in Dallas.
No, that's our child.
I think she likes you, Willie.
- She's excited to see you. - She likes you a lot.
Look, I'm a dog person.
I love dogs.
Just not all dogs.
Stupid dog peed on my bag.
I sat my bag down for, like, two seconds.
Well, I trained him.
Anybody coming up in the yard, pee on their stuff.
That's a yuppie deterrent.
That'll send 'em down the road.
Not all dogs.
This is Ollie. She is our baby.
This is our daughter for now.
She loves bearded men.
- Yeah, she loves bearded men. - She loves beards.
Hey, okay. All right, all right.
That's good. That's good.
Well, we're glad you're back.
We'll figure it out as we go.
Let's go get it. Come on.
We're so excited.
- This is awesome. - Yeah, so excited.
So happy you're here. Stay as long as you want.
Sometimes you should put a date on it.
Is that dog potty trained?
I think so.
So, um, we actually, the three of us,
haven't all talked about this together.
Well, it's just a weird thing to bring up,
especially because, I don't know,
sometimes it feels like everyone's always wondering
or everyone's always thinking about it
and wanting to ask, but then no one does.
And then also, I don't really wanna
- talk about it most of the time. - Yeah.
If there are two people that we know
are gonna be just great parents, it's Bella and Jacob,
which is just why everyone wants it so badly for them.
Three and a half years of trying for a baby is just a lot.
It's a lot on both of us.
I will tell you, I did get an appointment
to go to see a specialist.
The appointment is, like, six weeks out.
I've got a month and a half.
So in the meantime,
- one last try. - One last hurrah.
One last hurrah.
...We're open to any opinions.
Any other ideas are welcome.
I mean, everyone wants to help.
However, there are some times
when you don't open up the floor to suggestions.
How am I supposed to know?
They have a test, okay,
to see if your salmon are swimming upstream.
- My "sal-mon"? - Yeah.
I think it's called semen.
Hey, yeah, it's called sperm.
And you got to find the spot that the ducks go.
Are you in the right spot?
I'm not gonna go there with you, Uncle Si.
Well, okay. I'm just--
Look, I'm just checking.
You hear from other people,
and I think, like, acupuncture,
if you haven't tried it.
Yeah, I actually do want to try acupuncture because
- I've heard a lot about that. - Yeah.
Look, there's all kind of weird remedies
to all these problems.
Whatever is in black food helps guys' testicles.
To help their reproductive system.
Like licorice?
Maybe eggplant.
Or like octopus, like the ink.
I don't know about the black food,
and I also cannot handle you casually saying testicles.
Yeah.
They say women should warm the womb.
- Saunas are good for women. - Yeah, so guys are cold.
But then men should be in cold plunges
and not be in saunas.
Hot tub is what you need.
They told me one time
to stay away from hot tubs on honeymoons
because they carry a lot of STDs.
I tried a hot tub one time.
I've heard, like, if you eat, like, raw testicles...
...that'll help your reproductive system.
Oh, my God.
Should Bella eat 'em, too?
Probably wouldn't hurt.
Why does she need bull testicle power?
Well, you might be a little short right now.
I'm just saying. I don't know.
Maybe just chicken testicles.
Rebecca...
if I hear you say testicles one more time,
you're getting kicked out of this room.
- No. - ...so wrong.
- That's just... - Actually, I actually have
eaten chicken butt and chicken heart before.
- Okay... - What is chicken butt?
- Seriously. - You butterfly the butt.
It's, like, actually really good.
Not the butterfly.
Not the butterfly butt.
Oh, my gosh.
Wow.
Okay.
Any other ideas?
I'm scared to ask.
On your knee?
I've had a tick in other places.
What that's got... to do with fertility, okay?
We're trying to help this young man have a baby.
Well, I just popped that joker off,
and it could have been a tick.
But I-- just in case, I put my fingernails on it
and squeezed it real hard and then threw it off the bed.
So what was it?
To this day, I don't know
if it was a tick or a tab of skin.
But back to helping you with it.
But back to the salmon.
Hey, back to the salmon.
Okay. Well, you got a lot to think about,
and a lot of things to try.
Rebecca gave me plenty to think about,
- that's for sure. - We're so with you.
- Yes. - We're your sisters.
We'll laugh with you and cry with you.
- Mm-hmm. - And we can't wait
for that little baby.
- This is amazing. - Oh, we hit the jackpot here.
I feel like I am inside Thunderdome right now.
This is one of your finest hours there, young man.
Smells like...
tetanus.
One man's trash is another man's obstacle course.
When you grow up without money like I did,
you learn to turn nothing into something,
and you love it.
John Luke: Why are we here?
To get stuff for the BMX.
Yeah, John Luke.
At a junkyard, there's everything
a free-range kid needs to make a killer BMX course.
There's jumps, ramps, rails,
probably a rat's nest or two.
Expand your vision, all right?
Some people may see a car hood...
But I see a ramp.
John Luke, everything here, it's all in nature.
You dummies got that?
John Luke: This is so anti-nature.
This goes everything against nature.
This is unnatural.
It's out here.
There's nature all around you. There was a whole family
of raccoons right back there.
They look mostly healthy.
All right, let's split up in two groups.
John Reed, you go with Martin.
I'll stay with Si
to make sure he doesn't kill himself.
And John Luke, you come with us.
Y'all need to put y'all's mind in gear.
We're looking for objects to use on the course.
- I think I just said that. - We either jump...
run around, or run over, or run through.
We got it.
This is great.
Probably one of the best ideas your dad's ever had actually.
Si, this looks like a good thing right here.
What is this?
That was a nuclear weapon.
Si, there's no nuclear weapons here.
- Yeah, there is. - No, this says--
it's something to do with water.
John Reed: That could be a cool ramp.
Look at that. Shoong!
Ramp secured.
Plus, it's not my kid, so I'm in.
Hey, here we go.
This is a treasure chest, okay?
You want a school bus? Right behind me.
You want some cable? Check it out.
You want a pipe?
Hey, what size?
Hey, Si.
- You found a water gun? - I did.
And a gas can and a socket and a level.
If I lived next door to this thing,
they would have had posted signs all over it
talking about "no trespassing," which I would have ignored...
and went here anyway.
I mean, you could flip this thing and use it as a ramp.
Perfect.
That way, that way.
You can come from this side.
- You go long ways, man. - John Reed: Long ways.
Yeah, it's definitely not good for a boat.
A lot of obstacles here for an obstacle course.
Hey, here's a tire. We maybe could use this.
Yeah, hey, you can make that a Porta Potty for the women.
Here's a demonstration right here.
They can just...
Oh.
- We got to fix that part. - Yeah.
This is going as expected: terrible.
When Dad's on a mission, it's hard to fight it.
Sometimes you just have to go with it.
Si, we found the mother lode over here.
Works for me, son.
I think we got a good start.
Let's get a truck,
and we'll start loading all this stuff up.
There's some other areas, too, we can look at.
Si, don't tear up the whole thing.
- Aah! - Yeah!
God almighty, that was my toe!
So how long have y'all been trying to have a baby?
For three and a half years.
Okay.
Does that equal more needles?
- Not necessarily. - Okay.
- That's a positive. - I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised. My teacher told us
one needle can be a good treatment
if it's in the right spot.
- One needle. Right spot. - Oh, good.
Right now, me and Jacob are kind of in this weird place.
We're waiting to go see a fertility specialist
in six weeks.
So while we're waiting, we're just gonna try
some of the more off-the-radar remedies.
We're just willing to try anything at this point.
One of the basic theories of traditional Chinese medicine
is that all the problems of the body or the mind
are caused because something is not flowing.
If your chi is not flowing, then after a while,
the physical body's gonna start having problems.
All right, let's cut to the chase.
I mean, am I getting stabbed in the beans or what?
- No, we're not gonna... - Okay, phew.
...do that for any reason. It's not necessary.
We are just really proud of Bella and Jacob
for just sharing their journey and opening themselves up
to try things that might be uncomfortable.
Would you like to have a facial?
With needles?
The closest I've ever come to acupuncture
was that time I fell in the thorn bushes.
Is it comfortable for you?
I'm good, I just feel like Bob the Builder's
working on my forehead.
I didn't know they were gonna be
at, like, a downward angle like that.
Just right under the skin.
I really enjoyed it more than I thought.
Well, you look cute.
I never thought I'd be called that
with needles in my head.
I feel like I look like a psycho.
But did it help my beans?
I don't really know.
Guess we'll find out.
All right, I'm going to sleep.
John Luke: We've got our plans. We've got our junk.
- We got our equipment. - Hey, hold on now.
You're acting like you're in charge of this operation.
Your dad put me and Si in charge
when he sent us to JTB Rentals to get the equipment.
I thought I was in charge.
No, you the head engineer, son.
Once you get John Luke into building a project
like a BMX course, he fully commits.
So it's really just a matter of time.
But I got to keep him from playing it too safe.
And I'm thinking more fire, maybe.
So I surrounded him
with the least responsible people that I know.
We've got the plan. So this is what we're gonna do.
You go over the car hood
and then over the bumps
and then around...
over the boat ramp,
go for some side-to-side action,
and then up straight to the end.
Oh, we got to add more, man. That's boring.
I just want some fire. I want, like--
I really want some fire.
I want some big...
flames.
No flames, at least an alligator,
some kind of deadly pond of snakes, something like that.
This is not boring.
- Yeah, it is. - John Luke: No, it's not.
- Look. - What it's say?
Where's the starting point on it?
- Right up here? - Right there.
Now let's start reworking this whole mess.
Ugh.
Okay...
First, first, first thing.
Okay, according to the plans--
What comes from plans?
John Luke: I knew you were gonna do that.
John Reed: Well, he is your family, so...
- Hey, hey. - John Reed: He is your family.
Most people got to have plans.
Me? Nah, I don't need 'em.
- It's all up here. - Hey.
The washing machines.
- Uh-huh. - John Luke: Yeah.
You need to put that further up.
By the pond, and then move the boat ramp in the curve.
That way, you come sliding around,
- jump the washing machine... - John Luke: Yeah.
slide up to the old boat ramp.
Okay, and then...
Aah!
Over them and then, aah!
Do you think we need another pond of doom?
It wouldn't hurt.
Between my junkyard junk,
John Luke's nerdiness,
and Si's total disregard for human life,
I really think this is gonna be a kid's BMX masterpiece.
I think this may be the first time
I get to say this. Get to work!
That's right. Hey, get to work.
Yeah. Rolls off the tongue nice.
Now I see why Willie does it all the time.
Supervise.
How do I turn this on?
There's a key.
To be a good supervisor,
- you need a motivated workforce. - Yeah.
Instead, we have John Reed and John Luke.
I may have to walk off the job.
I don't want to be the supervisor of this.
The most dangerous part of this course may be them.
Yeah.
Okay, boys. There we go.
You know what the problem is?
I can't do nothing on an empty stomach.
- You hungry? - Yeah.
We might as well get out of here and get something to eat.
They're gonna be here for five more days
doing this at this speed.
- Yeah. - We'll come back.
Y'all keep working.
I came here knowing that Si and Martin weren't
gonna do no work, so it's not a surprise to me.
I could get used to this management work.
Whoo!
Oh-whoo!
♪ Oh ♪
Great. I mean, totally great.
I mean, there's some differences to get used to.
♪ Oh, ave Maria ♪
Will's voice is incredibly beautiful.
We have missed it around the house.
Oh, he's got a beautiful voice,
unless you're trying to make a phone call,
you know, a Zoom call,
you're trying to go to sleep.
- Who was that? - I guess your dad.
Or you're just trying to gather your thoughts,
or you're just used to a quiet house.
Okay, I think we're just used to having things a certain way.
They make their own dog food for their dog?
Wow, okay. Where am I gonna put this?
At least they're not the worst house guests we've ever had.
True.
Oh, yeah.
- What are you doing? - I'm cooking breakfast.
It's 4:00 in the morning.
Jase, why is there a beaver in my sink?
I killed the beaver.
That beaver smells bad.
- What in the world? - He's an idiot.
It's about 100 pounds of crawfish.
Puking in our bathtub. You got to get him out of here.
He is gone.
- Hey. - What's up?
- What's up, guys? - Hey.
- Make yourselves at home. - Want some popcorn?
I mean, I'm glad he's back.
But taking over my specific spot on the couch,
it's already molded for my body,
that's crossing the line.
That's too much.
All right, I think I'm just gonna go to the bedroom.
- I'm gonna sit back there. - Oh.
Make yourselves at home, eat.
We can make room for you.
Don't follow me, dog. No, I'm good.
Hey, Dad, do you want to do a TikTok later?
No. Ollie, you're back. You're back.
- Go on back, go on back. - Ollie, come here.
Go on back. Back, back.
Spaz, you stay. You go back.
Yeah. Nuh-uh, Spaz.
No, you come with me, Spaz. You come with me.
No, Ollie, just Spaz.
- Ollie. - No.
- Back up. - Ollie.
- Ollie, stay here. - Uh-uh.
Come here, Ollie.
You go back. Spaz, you come.
Ollie, come here. Treat.
Just Spaz. No Ollie.
Ollie, come here.
Good girl.
- Good girl. - Good girl.
That's what all them hickeys on his neck were from.
Did somebody say hickeys?
John David: Have you ever had a hickey?
No.
- Have you ever had a hickey? - Yeah.
I had one on my forehead once, but it was from a suction cup.
That's our problem. What's yours?
Yeah, why are you here?
Well, Will and Abby moved back, which is awesome.
But the challenge is they don't have their own nest yet.
Oh, so they're staying with Mom and Dad.
Right. They're in our nest, but they're big birds now.
What is the problem with living there, though?
I mean, y'all got a big house, so...
I know, but it's little things.
Like, they have a dog, and so their dog barks.
And when their dog barks, my dog barks,
everybody starts barking.
And then, like, you know my man cave?
Like, that's my space,
and I'm kind of used to nobody being in there.
Like, where I sit, like,
it's specifically molded for my body.
That's true. I tried to sit there one time.
- Yeah, it's small. - He sits there a lot.
No, it's one size fits Willie.
Are you cooking too much?
Well, I am cooking, but that's--
They're never gonna leave.
I got to cook. It's my house.
But then if you feed them, they're never going to leave.
They're like stray cats.
It's very easy to fix.
- Teach me. - Hey, have a guy come in,
and everything in your house is coin-operated.
What?
- Oh, collect rent. - Yeah.
Even remote, TV, hey, 50.
Refrigerator, that's a dollar.
If everything's coin-operated.
they'll finally get tired of shelling out the cash.
Now, my dad told me he'd give me a hotel room for five days,
then I had to figure it out on my own.
I don't know if I want to be that aggressive.
I'd just walk around naked if I was you.
That'll run 'em out.
The second Abby sees you naked,
- they gone. - Hey,
here's another thing you could do.
Y'all get them into your pickup truck,
and you chauffeur them around, you know,
trying to find a place for them to stay.
Boy, that's the most logical thing
you've ever said in your life.
- Yeah. - Well, you know.
When did you become the voice of reason?
They're looking for a place.
Maybe I could kind of speed it up a little bit.
Well, I mean, if they're irritating you,
give 'em a little nudge.
A little parental nudge?
- A little shove. - Yeah, a little shove.
I mean, you need to go find you a place to live.
- Well, these are good ideas. - Yeah.
Well, let me go find the classifieds.
That house is sweet,
- and he's cooking? - He's cookin'.
John David: Them kids ain't never leaving.
John Luke: It may not seem like much,
but we've made a ton of progress,
and I can actually see a BMX track here.
I really didn't see the vision of this
when my dad first showed me.
It's hard to see the trees for the forest
or the forest for the trees because there were trees.
But that's fine.
I can actually see it. I think he might be right.
I think inside every nervous parent,
there's that wild, anything goes spirit.
Sometimes you just need a little heavy machinery
to cure all the worriers.
And having John Reed around
doesn't hurt either.
John Reed has been a great partner.
He's really helpful.
He takes care of his workspace.
He's very careful.
- Hello. - Hello.
I got you some stuff.
What kind of stuff?
I brought a box of goodies for Bella
to help her with her fertility.
I did some research.
And I've got some surprising things for her.
- Baby smoothies. - What is this?
Liver.
- Rebecca, I'm not eating that. - Next best thing.
- I don't know-- - No, we're putting it
in a smoothie. We're not eating it.
- Okay. - We're drinking it.
After they consume, and then they do their job,
and then I think she can get pregnant tonight.
- Reproductive, like, organs. - Uterus, ovaries...
fallopian tubes.
Everything you need is in this pill.
Liver and kidney?
If you want to help whatever your--
the area you want to work on, you got to eat it.
Jacob come to me and said, "Hey, look,
me and Bella are trying to have a child,
but we're running into technical difficulties.
And I said, "Well, I can help you out on that."
John Reed: Usually, you can slice 'em,
and you can roll 'em out if they're smaller,
but these things, these are some big nuts.
Just the thought of actually biting into one of them, yuck.
John Reed: Uncle Si, I got 'em.
Man, it smells pretty good in here.
Welcome to Bull Testicles 101, Jacob.
Jacob, this is testicle intervention.
John Reed: That's right.
- Me? - You.
They're gonna say, "Jacob, you need to stop
eating bull testicles."
- Rebecca. - Do you like strawberry?
Mm-hmm.
Have you seen, like, people been saying
period blood is really good for you?
What?
It's, like, better than placenta.
I'm not eating these testes.
Yes, you are.
No, hey, look, here's what we need to do.
- Competition, let's do it. - Y'all are always
in competition for everything.
Switch it over to bull balls.
Twenty bucks I eat more than you.
I can get in on this little deal myself.
$85, and, hey,
to show you how confident I am about this,
I'm betting on you.
Have you ever bet on some nuts before?
No, but there's always a first time for anything.
All right, so since I don't have, like,
actual placenta, we got this.
I don't know how much, like, you're supposed to put in.
How much do you want a baby?
- Just wait, wait. - Wait, tell me.
- That's... - How much do you want a baby?
This much?
I'm gonna have,
like, quadruplets or something.
Are you crazy?
Cut 'em into nuggets for you, boys.
And all you need to think of is
when you put it in your mouth, you talkin' about...
"Good grief, what was that?"
And I'll tell you what it was.
It was the power coming from the nuts, son.
Look, I'm gonna set it
for one minute, and we're gonna see
who can eat the most. Y'all ready? Go.
And we're off to the races.
John Reed: Two.
You're starting to grow, Jacob.
I can't think about this being nuts.
Hey, I got my money on you, son.
Dude, Christian, you're freaking gobbling away, five.
How are you fitting all them nuts in your mouth?
I got $85 waiting on me.
Cheers to your fertile womb.
I really feel like you can taste the fallopian tubes.
And time.
Cri, I think you just ate, like, 35.
Jacob, I think you're at, like, eight or nine.
I've never seen men like nuts so much.
I'm doing this for you, dude.
Why do I feel like we're eating,
like, fish food and turtle food?
It's got something, like, slimy.
I feel like I'm swimming
inside a... a uterus right now.
Watching y'all eat made me hungry.
I'm gonna go get me a pizza.
Wait, you don't want to eat balls?
No.
Hey-- Hey, Uncle Si.
I need the money!
John Reed: You're not getting your money, dude.
- What's up, guys? - What's up?
- Hey-hey. - Just another day at our house.
Yeah.
- It's a very, very fun house. - This has been so fun.
Um...
It's been great having them, but let's face it,
there comes a time in life when the little birdies
need to fly on out of the nest again.
I mean, we don't want it to seem like we're pushing them out.
But we are.
I was thinking one of the good investments
that Mom and I made
was real estate.
- So-- - That's actually true.
So we, um...
- Ollie, get down. - Hey, get over here.
- Um, so, uh, okay. - Hey, hey-- come here.
Wha-po, move, move over.
- Oliver, come here. - Move over, move over.
All right, go see your dad.
Anyway, where was I?
So when Mom and I were, like, probably y'all's age,
we bought our first house, just a little tiny house.
But when we sold it, we made some money.
So I found a few places on the internet.
Take a look. Here.
Like, it's been so much fun having you here.
But, like, you know,
if you do wanna think about
looking at houses and stuff,
he had kind of worked on some ideas.
We appreciate this,
but we already found somewhere.
Like, you're moving out?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Oh, sweet.
Well, not--
I mean, sweet that you've...
- taken initiative and-- - Right.
So, I mean, we really appreciate y'all for letting us
- stay here for a little bit. - We loved being here.
This house is awesome.
It's just not the best for us.
Y'all gonna be okay,
- like, with us being gone? - Crap, yes. I think so.
Without the extra company?
This is for the best.
I mean, they found a place close by,
and they'll just get to come visit whenever they want.
Without that dog.
All right.
Well, we love y'all so much.
- Yep, yeah. - We loved having y'all here.
- Sweet. - Awesome.
Oh, all right, guys. See you around.
- All right, bye. - All right.
Let us know when you're out.
Oh, my gosh, that was perfect.
Welcome to the Bayou BMX,
where all dreams and all skill level can play.
Wow.
Bravo.
How amazing is this?
John Luke and John Reed done a fabulous job.
It's exciting. It's dangerous.
John Luke did an awesome job.
I guess the only thing I really didn't take into account
when he built this family BMX track...
This is for the kids?
Mary Kate: Not for my kids.
My kids are not getting on that.
He ain't the only one in the family.
I'm just not sure about the raw metal edges.
This is not safe.
It doesn't look good either.
It looks like crap.
I was hesitant, just like y'all,
but I realized kids these days, they need some danger.
Not this much danger.
I think it's got a lot of potential,
but I think we just need to tone it down a bit.
Nothing that would require, like, a tetanus shot.
- I think we need to tone it up. - No.
There's a fine line between letting your kids do
semi-dangerous things and ending up
in the emergency room, and this might cross over--
- This crosses that line. - This might cross over.
Mary Kate: This pushes us right over.
John Luke: Well, that's why you're all here,
for us to show you how safe it is.
John Luke: Once the family sees my demonstration
showing that this track is perfectly safe and super easy,
we're gonna be open for business.
Let's go.
Light the fire.
John Luke: Let's go.
Whoa!
Man down.
All right, he had a spill, boys.
You okay?
Okay, that was a bike error.
The chain came off the bike.
Didn't go quite as planned.
Round two.
- You got this. - John Luke: Here we go.
- Here we go. He's off. - Let's go!
John Reed: He's about to hit it.
- Whoo! - There we go.
Look how safe that is.
Seems like you can walk it faster.
- There you go. - John Reed: You got it.
Go, John Luke. Go. Go. Go.
Oh, God, no brakes!
John Luke: In hindsight, I probably should have
tested it out before I brought everyone in.
But, hey, you live and learn.
John Luke, that was awesome.
This turn's a little sharp, I think.
- John Luke: Yep. - All right.
Which grandkid's ready to roll?
No.
Mary Kate: I love the idea of the bike track.
I think it's super fun,
but we need all of the metal gone.
I don't really see why the metal's necessary.
Same with the fire.
I think that was a great test,
but it might need a few modifications.
Make it a little more kid-friendly.
John Reed: Maybe a little more fire.
- John Luke: Yeah. - Maybe a little less fire.
John Luke: As you can see, I took the junk out.
Yeah, as you can see,
you took the thrill out.
You took the excitement out.
John Luke: But it is safe.
You've taken the BMX course
and turned it into a toddler's daycare center.
John Luke: That's what I was trying to do.
Mary Kate: Wow. This is a big transformation.
- It looks so good. - It's so smooth. Nice.
It's still got some elements of danger,
the hills, the sharp turns,
but not send people to the hospital.
Nah, he ruined it.
- Uh-oh. - John Luke: Oh, what was that?
Oh, boy.
I admit, I may have pushed my danger agenda
a little too far, but not so far
that a few shiny toys can't make it all better.
Well, I figured I would bring a little something to the party
since everybody's worked hard.
Hey, you bring any junk in that thing?
- Just sayin'-- - No, this isn't a junk run, Si.
Guess what I got, everybody?
A bunch of Mongoose bikes.
All right.
That's Christian's new bike!
Who wants a Mongoose?
This is for all the hard work you boys have done
to make the family compound a funner place.
John Reed: Those are awesome bikes.
Let the races begin, boys.
So it may not be the BMX
redneck apocalypse that I was hoping for,
but I can't argue
a little safety for the grandkids.
Go!
Right there, boy-- oh!
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Look at John Luke.
Oh, John Luke.
Oh, oh, oh!
John Luke comes in first, Jacob with a second,
and John Reed, just how they started.
As the one in charge, it's a good thing
that I put John Luke in charge,
and he pulled it off,
which essentially means that I pulled it off.
So you're welcome.
All right, here comes Ella.
All right, let's go, Ella!
All right, go, Ella, go!
- Good job, Honey. - Yes, Honey.
All right, Honey! Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
- Look at this girl. - John Luke: Nice.
Let's go, yeah!
- John Reed: Good job. Good job. - Way to go!
Yeah, Sheppy boy.
And now it's a Robertson family track
that everyone can enjoy.
Hey, guess what this is?
Boring!
Well, almost everyone.
Hey, look...
And, hey, we can turn this thing into a show.
All right, guys, this was fun
and a great success,
and I'm sure we'll be using it a ton.
We're gonna have a prayer.
We're gonna let Jacob say it today.
God, thank you for today.
Thank you for letting Abby and Will
find a place to stay, instead of Korie and Willie's, God.
And thank you for John Luke and John Reed and Martin
making the BMX course.
And also, God, thank you for all the advice
that everybody gave me,
but please lead us in a different direction
than bull testicles, please.
In Jesus' name, amen.
- Amen. - Amen.
See, I wasn't gonna pray that they found another place,
but I'm glad you did, so all right.
Let's get on this brisket and fermented cheese.
John Luke: Charcuterie.
Charcuterie board that we whipped up.
They say being a parent
is the one job you'll never retire from,
or even semi-retire from.
They loved Ollie, though, yeah.
Ollie and Willie, like, really bonded, I think.
Well, she loves dominant men.
And when you want that job,
you'll do anything it takes to get hired.
Thank you for all your advice,
and thank Si for his advice.
But we are gonna seek
professional opinions from now on.
Hey, the bull's balls was a great idea.
- John Reed: I second him. - Thanks, Si.
Because truthfully, it's more of a calling than a vocation.
What was this?
I was throwing them up doing...
Yeah, he was throwing the bull balls in his mouth
like a popcorn and catching it.
Hey, guys, I'm trying to eat here.
And when you answer that call,
there's nothing greater you'll do in this world
than to be someone's parent.
Hey, what do you think
about your dad eating, like, 20 bull balls?