KORIE: So what are your plans today? Go to the office?
I'm semi-retired.
Okay, you've got a birthday coming up
and I'm trying to do something.
-Ah, here we go. -So I need you to, like,
get out of here.
What do I want for my birthday?
Let me think. I'm gonna teach you
the master of all prankery.
There should be chaos.
-Aah! -Aah!
Some hurt feelings.
Good grief, I didn't know
they could stack crap that high.
-[duck calls] -Look at that.
-Yeah. -Gol.
Maybe a little head-to-head, winner-take-all competition.
What is happening right here?
Is this, like, a bust?
Come out wherever you are.
[shooting]
I surrender.
It ain't a birthday until someone cries uncle.
Or just cries.
♪ I just wanna go fast
♪ Life goes by in a flash
♪ Living free, no looking back ♪
♪ I just wanna go fast
♪ Keep growing from the past
♪ Can't slow me down
♪ I wanna go fast, or lean back ♪
♪ Clean right out
♪ Go fast, make the good times last ♪
♪ Yeah, I just wanna go
[duck call]
Yeah, I mean, birthdays aren't a big deal to me.
My birthday is a big deal for Korie
because she loves planning big parties.
And so we've had some epic birthday parties for sure.
UNCLE SI: Yeah, he's got the hang of it now.
He's fixing to blow, boys.
Think about that.
I'm gonna make you disappear, bro.
Fix your tie.
Dad's birthday.
We've gotta come up with something good.
The possibilities are endless.
The man of many interests.
No matter what Willie says,
he loves his birthday.
He loves to be celebrated.
He's gonna tell you
he doesn't want to make a big deal about it.
But do not listen to him.
I was kind of thinking of, like,
I don't know how this would work.
But just kind of like a favorite things party.
Like all the things he loves
to where he feels like we know him.
He likes stuff that's more, like,
-thoughtful. -He does.
So, like, if we, like, really pull it off,
like, to show we really know him,
-he will really like that. -Yeah, I think so, too.
The only thing I don't know really
is, like, how the cake would be.
Because is it just gonna be like a hodgepodge
of, like, everything?
Or do we just pick, like, one thing for the cake?
-Like golf? -Yeah.
No, I'm not really a big cake guy.
I don't eat a lot of cake honestly.
No, Willie loves cake.
He is picky about his cake. He's particular.
But he eats cake all the time.
I'd rather just have meat.
So you can just make me a whole, like, a birthday cake
made out of meat.
I think he likes, like, Italian cream.
He likes carrot cake.
What was that butter cake he made the one time?
-Oh, he did. -It was brown butter.
-He loves brown butter. -He does. That's true.
If you had, like, different meats as a layer.
So you could layer it with meats.
It would be smoked pork,
fried chicken,
and then beef tenderloin on top.
And then what would be the icing
would be meat juices...
and marbleized meat fat.
Or gravy.
That would be good.
What do you tell the lady if you call the bakery?
We need a carrot cake with brown butter icing.
Somehow mix some pastry elements into it.
No baker is gonna really do that though.
I could make that.
You could make that?
I mean, I could make him something he would like.
I think I could make a great cake
that he would like, too.
Maybe we can all just, like,
each of us do, like, a different cake.
Because my cake is probably not gonna taste good,
but it will probably look good, I think.
We can turn this into a little competition.
-A little bake off? -A little bake off?
The great birthday bake off.
I love that, I love that.
The only rule is you have to do all of it yourself.
-Yeah. -Other than that,
get as creative as you want to be.
I trust two of y'all.
I'm not gonna say which two.
You split your fingers.
Wait, what is that?
I'm not saying which two. I'm just saying...
-What the heck? -I was like Moses
in the middle of the Red Sea, just wandering...
Sadie, we are gonna prove them wrong.
We are gonna prove them wrong. Let's go, Rebecca.
-REBECCA: Yes. -SADIE: Let's go.
What's up, boss?
What's up, guys?
Are y'all busy?
Korie wanting me out of the house
ain't exactly the worst thing.
In fact, I've got some nits that need picking.
Well, what have you got trouble with now?
And I've got just the nitwits to help me pick 'em.
[all laugh]
Why's it got to be trouble?
He don't never show up
unless he's in trouble with something.
No trouble today.
I got two guys that wanted to sign up
for Duck Commander, Buck Commander.
Christian Huff and Jacob Mayo.
We've been thinking,
mainly since Phil's passing,
we want to be Duckmen and Buckmen.
You know, it's really more what you'll do than what you'll say.
I'll take out the trash, you know?
I'll get you coffee.
That's where it starts.
Duck and Buck Commander are my family's legacy.
From when my father first made a duck call,
we've become one of the most premiere
hunting brands out there.
So I'm all about hiring family.
I'm just-- I'm not handing out jobs
like they're Christmas cookies.
Can they grow a beard?
Time out. Can they blow a duck call?
Well, I don't know what they can do.
I mean, I went duck hunting with Jacob.
The boy could shoot.
What about Christian? Can Christian shoot?
Did you see the gender reveal?
That's all right. That's all right.
That was a bad shot.
We're just-- I'm not just giving him part of anything
for marrying into this deal.
So, they gotta earn this deal.
I'm pretty decent at turning boys into men.
Why don't we put 'em through a series of tests?
-Oh, I like that idea, a test. -There you go.
Si, I don't even think that's legal.
Yeah, it is, because they did it
to everybody that's gone through the military.
Hang on, Si.
Si, these are my son-in-laws.
We're not hitting 'em with a taser.
Look, if it's good enough for our military men
and our veterans, hell, it's good enough for them two.
[all laugh]
He does have a point.
You have to be humiliated at some point.
You've got to be broken, okay?
Yeah. We'll put together a series of tests
and see what they're made of.
And I got just the guy to help me.
I like this idea.
These kids are toast.
[laughs]
WILLIE: All right, guys, welcome...
to the Buck Commander, Duck Commander boot camp.
Just remember, whatever happens out here,
you asked for this, all right?
I got sunscreen
and I got bug spray.
Yeah, I saw that.
I mean, I've thought about it,
and a great birthday present for me
would be putting my son-in-laws through the ringer.
But even better would be finding someone meaner
to do it for me.
Meet your two instructors.
A man who needs no introductions.
He knows all things Duck.
This is my brother Jase.
This is a man who knows all things Buck.
This is my nephew-in-law Stone.
I don't see any beards.
I hit puberty late.
Sadie doesn't like it when I--
Hey, pipe down, worm.
If these boys can survive
whatever Jase and Jay Stone can put 'em through,
they can survive anything.
Men, there are times in your lives
when you come to the precipice.
I think we got it.
This is training.
Oh, that's Si. He said he wasn't gonna miss this.
The last thing I want them to learn
is how to be lazy like Si.
Hey, what's up, GI Joe?
Well, well, well, boys,
if it ain't Tweedledum and Tweedledum Two.
Well, first off, take off that orange vest.
And you there, Shirley, take off that jewelry.
This is my wedding ring.
Not the ring, the junk you got around your neck, dummy.
Okay, all right.
Get out of here, weenie.
-I'm not the weenie. -Hey, get out of here.
-I gotta talk to these two. -Hey! I'm not the one
-your drill instruction is for. -Hey, get out of here.
-This is his world. -I don't need you right now.
Love you.
See you. Love you, buddy.
So, hey, let me set the rules first.
When I address you,
it's gonna be maggot or sleepy or fluffy.
Getting called a maggot by someone with only three teeth?
Yeah!
Hits different.
So tell me what you know about duck hunting.
That's what I thought. If you boys...
if I took your brains out,
mixed 'em up, if it was gunpowder,
you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
So, I really wanna take on a role in the company,
any role, you know, honestly, I'm just--
I love this family. I love to hunt.
But when you marry into such a tight-knit group,
sometimes you just feel like an outsider,
especially when you don't have a...
a beard.
-Fluffy, how tall are you? -6'2", sir.
Good grief, I didn't know they could stack crap that high.
This will turn into a competition
because we're men.
So, the method we will score is by the thumb.
Roman gladiator style.
What's the number one rule of hunting?
Invisible.
No.
Have fun.
No.
You get two thumbs down.
Number one goal: survive.
Oh.
You don't want to have on your tombstone,
"He died in a stupid manner."
It's okay to die in the woods.
You just don't wanna do it embarrassingly.
It's the redneck code.
So for his birthday, I decided
to turn his son-in-laws
into useful human beings.
-So happy birthday. -Thank you.
Well, y'all got your work cut out for you, boys.
I'm getting sick to my stomach. I'm gonna go throw up.
All right.
He gone!
Well, there she goes right there.
When you hit 70 and you're in your prime.
What you just saw, borderline miracle.
I want to look like that when I get older.
Exactly.
[knocking]
-Hi. -Hey.
-This for me? -Yes, sir.
We just got these huge boxes for Jeffrey,
but I think they're for the museum renovation.
What the heck?
And they say "mannequins" on them,
so I have to open them.
Supposed to be my dad?
Well, it's kind of too skinny.
We've got four mannequins arriving today.
It's going to be a great photo opportunity for our customers.
Part of our overall gift shop and museum renovations.
It's gonna look real sharp.
What is this beard?
Ugh. Gross.
These are a little terrifying.
Si's like four feet tall.
What the?
But amazing.
Dad.
-Yo. -Come look at this.
[laughs]
-What in the world? -Look how freaky these are.
What is this?
It's for the museum.
-What the? -[laughs]
I can't believe how accurate it is.
I don't think that looks anything like you.
Yeah, my mustache isn't that clean.
Jase's hair.
That's Jase's hair?
He's having a bad hair day.
This is unbelievable.
I've got major big plans for all four of these
and actually for you, too.
A promotion?
-Oh, yeah. -To manager,
to president, to assistant CEO?
Let's walk before we crawl here.
This is something even bigger.
If you're ever gonna even think about running a place like this,
you have to be good at one thing.
-The prank. -Business-- okay,
-pranks, yeah. -The prank.
This birthday is shaping up way better than I thought.
First, I get to feed my son-in-laws to the wolves.
And now I get a little gift
from Madame Tussauds' clearance bin.
I'm gonna teach you the master of all prankery.
So I'll be prank master.
-No, I'm the prank master. -Okay.
You're, like, the lower version of that.
Prank apprentice.
-You're the prank apprentice. -Okay.
Let's make these things disappear right now.
Let the mannequin shenanigans begin.
All right, careful, careful.
Don't mess up their hair.
All right, we got you a present.
Very seldom do we give presents without you deserving it.
But since we make duck calls, there you go.
You're welcome.
You would think if the father-in-law
owns a duck call business, that his son-in-laws
would need to learn how to blow a duck call.
I'm gonna ask you a question.
What is a decoy?
It's imitating a duck?
It's an attractant.
Attractant?
It's a love language.
You're trying to move this conversation
into the bedroom.
We're trying to convince wild ducks
that they can trust us.
And we do that by speaking love.
So, are we trying to get the ducks in our bedrooms?
Exactly.
And how good you are
depends on whether you get to first base
or hit a home run, if you know what I mean.
Would a home run be a dead duck?
How many bases do ducks have?
It doesn't matter, because when you're rounding third,
you're saying, "Bring it home, baby!"
So, what's the greatest pickup line you got?
How much does a polar bear weigh?
You tell me.
Enough to break the ice.
Hi, Christian. Nice to meet you.
See, I would never shake your hand.
That's it.
I think I got one.
Are you an astronaut?
No.
Because I see stars in your eyes.
I'm wondering how y'all even got married.
All right, let's do the easy ones now.
Drake call.
[duck call]
[flat duck calls]
All right, look, obviously it was not good.
It reminded me of a mallard hen in pain.
Yeah, that was suffering.
I think the wind's messing it up.
No.
-My turn? -Yep.
[flat duck call]
Down.
You got to let that air flow.
I mean, we can-- we can blow this wood duck call.
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.
Give me that. Take 'em back.
That was actually pretty good.
Y'all are not hearing
-these calls. -...gonna appreciate this.
I'm not even sure y'all know what a duck sounds like.
So, guys, are y'all ready
for The Great Louisiana Bake Off?
Seriously, the thing that everyone is gonna
have to ask themselves is what does the essence
of Willie mean to you?
So, my idea for the cake
is to do a carrot cake out of my grandma's cookbook,
and then I'm gonna add my own spin on it,
because he also loves my food.
On top, I'm going to attempt to do a choux pastry
-in the shape of some ducks. -[distant duck calls]
If the girls try to go too crazy with their cakes,
it's just gonna look trashy, so they'll probably lose.
I'm going for the essence of Willie.
That's what I'm going for.
When I look in the mirror, you know who I see?
Willie without a beard?
Y'all-- look, y'all know.
He looks just like me.
Today you will see this become a cake.
Dad loves these butter pecan nuts.
Every year at Christmas, he makes them.
And so I'm going to do Willie's nuts.
Yes, he does call them that.
It's the skill that I'm worried about with you.
Bro, I knew something was coming.
I mean, you can't just make a cake on your first try
and think it's gonna be the winner.
You might can.
I've already messed this recipe up.
Everything is supposed to be room temperature.
I think-- I think I'm pretty funny,
so I can add that element to my cake.
You're funny, but I don't know
if it's always on purpose.
So you're all just laughing at me,
not laughing with me.
Well, you're normally laughing, too.
A new segment called Counseling Over Cake.
-I know, yeah, like... -[laughs]
So, we're trying to decide what he likes,
and, when it comes down to it, what he loves the most
is... himself.
Actually gonna be needing five layers,
so it's gonna be very heavy, very realistic.
So if you're gonna use, like, yeast for something--
I'm not into those whole sourdough thing
-like y'all did. -It's not sourdough.
You don't use yeast for sourdough.
Yeast is the opposite of sourdough.
Yeast.
Different than a yeast infection.
Wait, east infection is
-not the same east? -Praise the Lord.
Oh, my gosh.
Rebecca, yeast.
There's a word east,
-And then there's yeast. -Okay? And then there's yeast.
-And then there's yeast. -With a Y.
If the doctor says you have a yeast infection,
it's the same word as yeast.
But let's get off yeast infections please.
-[laughs] -For the love of God.
We gotta wrap this thing up.
Whoo!
But on that note, may the best baker win.
This is the time that would be "at you."
-[laughs] -Crying.
[train horn blaring]
-WILLIE: Ready? -JOHN LUKE: Yep, let's go.
WILLIE: All right.
Hang on, hang on, I can't carry this.
-Okay. -I'm carrying something
-around the office. -Yeah, that would be suspicious.
-Oh, that would be a giveaway. -You're right. Okay.
Pranking is no laughing matter.
There's a specific methodology
to maximum... prankosity.
Number one, keep it simple.
[whispers] Right there, right there, right there.
[snickers]
Number two, be stealthy.
Careful, careful with this one.
Don't mess the hair up. Hair, hair, hair.
Hurry, John Luke.
Going as fast as I can.
Thirty seconds,
25 seconds, John Luke.
Number three, always keep 'em guessing.
Aah!
And rule number four, there are no rules.
Wait.
Aah!
[laughs]
Guys, that's mean.
Today, we're gonna turn you into men that stare at trees.
Step two of the de-yuppie-fication process
is to learn how to conceal yourself.
This is the willow, the easiest brush you can get.
Here you have oak, more hardy, prickly.
That one actually did kind of prick me a little bit, sir.
Hand it back. It's prickly.
What's your problem?
I wouldn't say I'm passionate about tree types.
I understand and I know the difference,
but pretty much just cut brush
and put it up in front of the blind.
Now we're getting into the real good stuff.
That's the way I see it.
No, there's way more to it than that.
Now, the best brush you can find--
Spanish moss.
This is the gold right here.
That's what your beard needs to look like.
If you get your beard to look like this,
your wife then has permission
to have an affair with her husband.
That's a thumbs up
every day and twice on Sunday.
You've got 15 minutes
to find these different types of brush.
We're gonna judge to see who did the best job.
Starting now.
Every time I think they're making progress,
-they open their mouth. -Yeah.
I for sure have the advantage.
Jacob's short and stumpy.
I'm tall and lengthy.
You know, Chris, he's built like an orangutan.
How's that looking, huh?
Oh, you got the gold there.
-Nice. -Not bad.
He got quality with that.
Yep. That was a good one there.
See, he sensed my passion
when I started talking about that Spanish moss.
You got 12 more minutes.
-Jacob, what are you doing? -Getting moss.
Are you taking my moss?
Tell you right now, buddy, you're ahead.
Christian kind of sabotaged my game,
so I lost a lot of the crop I got.
You know, Jacob, he's always got that look like he's sleepy.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, it's kind of more like he's just...
He's got one eye open.
You know them people that sleep with one eye open?
Oh, yeah.
-Lookie here. -Here he comes.
He stole all my stuff.
I stole a little bit. Give me a break.
No, he stole, like, a bush twice the size of that.
-Hey. -It is what it is.
-You must protect your brush. -It is what it is.
It's kind of hard when you're up in a tree.
Well, there are no rules,
and you have seven minutes.
When the mannequins are this sketchy looking,
the pranks are almost too easy.
Aah! [laughs]
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Or putting Si in a bathroom.
-Oh! -[laughs]
-Uh-oh, uh-oh. Shoulder down. -You okay?
Okay, just get it, and let's get out of here.
Just pull it, pull it, pull it, pull it.
Oh, my crap.
Probably should have picked a cake that was a bit easier,
but here we are.
Rebecca is super good at, like, designing stuff,
so I think she'll probably do something
that looks really good.
I'm kind of worried that I'm doing too good
that people are gonna request me to make them a cake.
Bella: But taste, I have no idea.
Sadie's will likely be burned.
I just made a big mistake.
I did not set my timer.
Okay, we're fine.
Normally I'm there to help her.
So I don't know what she's gonna do without me.
-Hey, hey. -Hello.
Welcome to the baking station.
Look at you.
I decided to just do a little check-in on all the girls
because, I mean, especially Sadie.
There's a history there with her and baking.
Twenty-two minutes.
That's how long they cook.
-Okay? -Got it.
Fire in the hole, there. Fire in the hole.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, no.
It stinks so bad.
Oh, yeah. I think them are done.
[coughs]
Okay, tell me your plan.
So it's abstract art.
Willie's nuts in the shape of a beard.
Have you ever made those before?
No, but I'm not worried about that.
-I'm going by taste. -Dad-- Dad says
-they're pretty complicated. -Yes.
Also, I mean, I think deep down,
they all still want Mama's advice.
So you've got ducks sitting on grass.
-Yeah. -Did you think about
maybe they should be on water?
All right, I need to get back to work.
If Jacob is doing as good at his training
that I'm doing at this,
then we're both gonna be the winners of this week.
The thing with Christian
is sometimes he has more muscle than brain.
I don't remember what everything looks like that I'm after,
but I remember the willow trees had this lighter color,
a more "whimsier" limb.
Nope.
Orangutan can't tell the difference
between an oak tree and a sweetgum.
-Yup. -That's the problem
with lower species of animal.
Ow. That was a thorn.
You're catching back up now.
Dead heat.
Might as well take what there's abundant of.
Oh-- oh, gosh!
Time!
That's it?
That was the grand finale?
Whoo!
Ha! Ha-ha!
They're never gonna be able to impress Jase,
but that's not the reason they're out there.
You got some quality,
but you can't brush a duck line with this.
No.
Thumbs down.
We got a long way to go.
Trying to impress Jase
is like trying to sweet-talk a snapping turtle.
When are we gonna actually get to, like, duck hunting?
This is the process.
-This is-- -You've gotta love the process.
But, see, this is what people without beards say.
Look, there's a place in our society
for smooth-faced people.
The ladies' room.
Write that down.
Right here. This chair, this chair.
White. The white one.
Yeah, about those budgets.
I really can't think of anything
I'd rather be doing on my birthday.
I mean, I'm hanging out with my son John Luke,
giving him some real hands-on training.
Well, I think it's really smart...
-Oh, my God! -Oh!
What is that?
I'm getting a little bit of exercise.
-Clear. -Quick!
And scaring the crapper barrel out of my employees.
What...
Oh, lookie there. You got your mannequins back.
We're going off gut and instinct right now.
That does not look like Willie's nuts. Shoot.
Okay.
Oh, no.
That actually tastes pretty good.
We're still cooking.
It tastes very good.
Hey-o!
What are you doing? Wait.
What is happening right here?
Is this, like, a bust of Willie?
I mean, at the moment it doesn't really look like Willie,
but I think once you get the beard and the hair on...
You don't think it's a little like
the guy you kiss good night every night?
Well...
You want to give a kiss?
Maybe by the time you're done.
-Hey there. -Hi.
We do have golf balls, I mean, and they are the Willie...
Yeah, because Willie likes golf balls.
-A duck call. -A duck call. Perfect.
-Uh-huh. Yeah. -We've got some golf tees,
-and then these are, like-- -Yes.
--the kids' toys, some guns.
You are so creative.
I knew you're gonna come up with something.
Am I though?
Well, here's what we're gonna do.
The stakes are going up here.
The ultimate competition is fixing to happen.
Step three is you need to experience
what it's like to be hunted,
and pain must be involved.
Oh, God.
If you don't conceal yourself.
Because the best blind,
when you're hunting ducks by yourself,
is no blind.
We're gonna give you one hour
to conceal yourself on this water's edge,
and me and Stone will try to find you.
-Sounds good to me. -Let the best man win.
A grownup game of hide and seek.
Let's go.
You're all gonna need these.
I want to see terror in their eyes,
so they can understand what it's like to be a duck,
and then make necessary adjustments
to be a great, successful duck hunter.
I would wear that. Trust me.
One hour!
What're you thinking?
I kind of think we should go this way.
Who said we were on a team?
I just don't think you have to feel pain necessarily.
I mean, at some point we're eating the ducks.
It was bad for them.
I think we create a fake-- a fake blind.
I think we create a diversion for sure.
We need them to think that we're right next to each other.
But little do they know... we aren't here.
When people give you face masks,
destruction's on the way.
Ooh, in here might be good.
There's snakes all over in here, dude.
Well, sometimes you just got to suck it.
Huh?
I'm just gonna hope that no one comes this far.
I'm about to get in here like a little gilly knoll.
Oh, gosh.
I'm prepared to die.
Do I approve of this method of instruction? No.
But then again, I want them to mold me
into the perfect little duck boy.
Or duck man.
[siren]
Does that mean they're coming?
-All right. -All right.
Let's go see if we can find us some young punks.
We're hunting the most dangerous game known to man:
human.
This has got to be hazing,
and last I checked, hazing is illegal.
I mean, look, the best brush known to man
and they're leaving a trail of Spanish moss.
It's like they want us to find 'em.
I was in a fraternity in college.
You are not allowed to haze.
Look, I see some discoloration there.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
I think the target has been identified.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Let's go on three.
One...
two...
-three. -[shooting]
Hold.
What the crap is that?
Well, well, well.
They're smarter than what we thought they were.
They set up a diversion.
I hate to say it, but I'm impressed.
Well, the problem is
we're getting to the end of this canal,
and there ain't too many bulges left.
Hey.
Yep.
All right, you ready?
-[gunshot] -Aah!
Whoa!
[laughter]
Well, I ain't had that much fun with my clothes on
in a long time.
Oh, man.
Well, one down, one to go.
You see where this tree's fallen down?
Oh, I see it.
I say we get ten foot closer,
and we just lay down a blanket fire.
Come on.
[shooting]
I surrender.
Right in the kisser.
Pretty good shot.
-Christian? -Yeah?
-Well done. -Yep.
Pretty good shooting, Josie.
So what's the verdict?
The damage was so great,
this is gonna take a while.
There are signs of hope.
Well, that's positive.
I mean, I would say it's more hopeful.
We made progress.
Yeah, these boys have definitely gotten better.
I gotta admit, you get a...
-Thumbs up. -Thumbs up.
We can dream again.
[laughs]
Moment of truth, moment of truth.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh!
Under pressure, baby,
when it counts.
There's probably a chance
someone's cake is looking better than mine right now,
but I don't think there's any chance that
someone's cake is tasting better than mine.
All right, last piece is going on.
Okay.
It's certainly a lot quieter than Willie.
I need to put eyeballs on him.
Excuse me?
Were you licking the icing?
-Yeah. -Are you kidding? Dude!
Was it yummy?
-At least? -Yes, it was.
Oh, my gosh.
That's looking gorgeous.
Okay.
-I think it's done. -It's done!
-Can I eat it? -We have to wait for the party.
So we are so thankful that you're all here.
The very first episode of Duck Dynasty,
y'all all know what happened to this loading dock, right?
We have been at this warehouse since 2009,
and it's been through a lot.
There's not a duck
within 30 miles of this building.
-Yep. -What we need to do
is go to the loading dock,
plug the hole, just add water,
add ducks, and we got it.
We got a bunch of happy ducks in this little old pond.
I mean, doesn't it do your heart good
to bring this much joy and happiness
to some pet store ducks?
So we're excited to just give it an upgrade
and create a display
for a new photo opportunity for the fans.
Yeah, I asked for a new putter for my birthday,
but I guess a new loading dock is
kind of close-ish maybe.
All right, you guys ready for unveiling number one?
-Yeah! -Yeah!
Three, two, one!
[cheers and applause]
-[laughter] -One more countdown.
Three, two, one!
[cheers and applause]
-Which one's the real Willie? -Hey!
Throw the fat one away and keep the skinny one.
[all laugh]
Thank you guys for coming.
This looks a lot better and smells a lot better.
I can tell you that for sure.
Hey, your mannequin smells better than you.
Don't give up your day job.
-You'll never make it as a-- -Hey!
You'll never make it as a stand-up comic.
When did this turn into a roast?
[all laugh]
Hey, if I was Korie,
I'd trade and take the mannequin home
and leave Willie in the blind.
Thank you for coming.
This is a big day,
and, yes, I was behind
a little of the shenanigans with the mannequins
and John Luke as well.
So John Luke, he is being trained well, so...
thank you guys so much.
[cheers and applause]
JACOB: Don't you just wanna, like, punch it?
SADIE: It's gorgeous.
Did you do brown butter cream cheese icing?
-Nope. -Oh, I did, and Bella did, too.
No, Rebecca, you bought that. You didn't do that.
Willie is turning 53.
I mean, I know that's not, like, a big birthday,
but we always love to celebrate, and everyone's coming together,
including Rowdy from college
and Will and Abby from Texas.
Happy birthday!
-Happy birthday! -Wow!
Okay, okay.
-Wow. -We have a little presentation.
All the girls in the family
have been working really hard on cakes for you.
Obviously.
And it is a competition,
because you know we like competition,
so you'll be the judge.
This is crazy.
Judging a bake-off between your kids is a delicate art.
I think on the presentation, I like...
Like, instead of saying,
"why would you put a bullet on your cake,"
you say...
This one has
a few of my favorite things.
Instead of, "This looks like it was made
by a patriotic squirrel..."
This one's creative with the bandana.
And instead of,
"Are those ducks or nuclear fallout," say...
Very creative with the tinted coconut.
The leader in presentation is obviously
the Willie Totem.
Just on presentation alone.
-That took a long time. -Essence of Willie.
Okay, so let the tasting begin.
Let the tasting begin.
Carrot cake with a coconut icing.
And the good part is, I get to eat
as much as I want before anyone else.
Wow.
That was a big bite. Mmm.
The beard.
Wait, there's a hair in it.
-Uh-oh. -No.
-[all laugh] -There was not.
Ooh!
You need some water?
The icing is a little...
-Chewy? -Thick.
It's like the texture of toothpaste.
And the bandana.
Those nuts are good.
-Oh, yeah. -It's a good combination.
Well, I didn't get enough nutty-age.
[all laugh]
"Nutty-age."
What is this delectable-looking thing?
Mmm. Icing's good.
The two tastiest ones are
between these two.
Oh!
-Nice, nice, nice. -Oh!
Someone knows my love of the carrot cake.
However, we got these nuts.
Just can't get off the nuts.
See? Okay, do you see how into cake he is?
For someone who did not want a big deal on his birthday,
wanted a meat cake...
These cakes are tasty.
It's between these two cakes right here.
This is epic.
This is the one that you'll put on the shelf.
This is the one I needed.
Mary Kate right there is the winner.
Whoo!
Willie's nuts.
-We won. We won. -We won. We won.
This is reality.
-Never in a million years. -This is reality.
Am I getting punked?
[chanting] Willie's nuts. Willie's nuts.
Willie's nuts.
She doesn't even bake.
And it's ugly.
All right, let's say a prayer and have a meal.
Father, we're so thankful for the gift of family.
We're thankful for Willie for his birthday.
We're thankful for all that he means to all of us.
And thank you for all the cakes.
The girls worked so hard to show their love for Willie tonight.
So, in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
-Amen. -Amen.
-Let's eat. -Let's eat.
-MAN: Let's eat, oh! -SADIE: Let's eat.
New chapters in life come in all shapes and sizes,
whether it's getting older
or taking on more responsibilities.
John Luke, as a prank apprentice,
you just went to level two.
Level two apprentice prankster.
There's still more I have to teach you.
-Yeah. -Or even learning
-to accept defeat. -Bella has to taste it
to believe it.
That's good.
The impossible all seems possible
with a loving family
and a handsome doppelganger by your side.
That's a good looking mannequin, I will have to say.
His beard game is on point.
And maybe next year I'll get that meat cake.