.
- With Daytona looming,
between managing my team
and all my other responsibilities,
you know, typing and otherwise,
this is the time of year when the rubber meets the road
and my schedule gets dumb.
And it doesn't help the fact that I'm out
several of my cheerleaders because they got suspended
for a week for showing a little too much school spirit.
- Yeah!
[dramatic music]
- [grunts]
[whistle blasting]
- And that kind of behavior,
which I admire but do not condone,
has really added an extra serving
of deep fried stupid to my plate.
And we don't have a choreographer.
We don't have a finalized routine for Daytona yet.
It is a lot, y'all.
Oh.
[clattering]
Oh. Thank you so much.
OK, y'all, look out.
- ♪ Let's go, okay, let's go ♪
♪ Okay, let's go, five, six, seven, eight ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
- And then Peaches tried to do her whip
full back handspring full from the corner,
and I didn't realize I had already told Madonna to do
her back handspring full from the middle,
'cause then it got Peaches off count for her show and go
that transitioned into the pyramid.
- Oh, baby. That's crazy.
- I appreciate you listening, Boony,
even though you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Work has got me so stressed.
I mean, I'm doing the work of two people, maybe more.
- Mm. - And it's just--
I'm going to tell you what, it's starting to get to me.
- Yeah, no, I can't imagine.
I've got, like, five assistants,
and I don't even know what to do with them half the time.
Mother-father! - I'm sorry.
You were just, like, talking about
all your assistants, and I can't even afford one.
It's times like this I really miss Tammy.
I mean, she wasn't just my assistant.
She was my work wife, my sounding board,
my right hand.
Gosh, she always had my back.
And my legs.
- [sobbing]
No!
- Hey, why don't you just tap into
America's proud tradition of unpaid labor?
- Internships.
He's talking-- he's talking about internships.
- Yeah, obviously.
- You know, I guess I could ask for extra help
from one of my more experienced cheerleaders.
- What about that one guy, the sad old one?
- Steven? - Mm-hmm.
- God, he'd totally be into it.
But I--I don't know that he has the respect of the team.
- There she is. You wanted to see me?
- Yeah, Steven, I've--
did you fall asleep in the gym?
- Why do you ask?
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
They drew a wiener on my forehead again, huh?
- Yeah. But I'ma figure it out.
- Mm-hmm. - You had a good idea, Boony.
- [chuckles]
[brakes screeching softly]
- It is 9:37 p.m.
Sally's just getting home.
It's practically the middle of the night.
- OK, baby, you gotta ease up. Ease up. Hey, hey.
She's 18 years old, and that's not our daughter.
- All I know is, I let Mrs. Tickles out one time.
She came back pregnant.
Her innocence was gone.
- I always knew Boon would be a protective dad,
ever since he raised our cat, Mrs. Tickles.
- I miss you so much.
[sobbing] I miss you so much.
- Believe it or not,
in competitive junior college coed cheer,
Daytona is our only shot at competing.
So at my old school,
in order to get the kids ready,
I used to bring in another college team
to have a mock competition with them.
We'd hire judges and everything.
I mean, it was a lot of work,
but Tammy made it easy.
- Coach! Hey, hey.
Let me get that. - Steven, thank you.
- Yeah. Oh, man.
- Yeah, it's heavy. - OK.
- I'm just really in it right now.
I gotta get these typing papers graded,
and I definitely got to price out the uniforms.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I got to figure out a way for Peaches
to get across the mat to her stunt on time.
- Yeah, especially if we want to keep
Madonna's tumbling across the middle.
- Exactly. - Yeah.
- That's what I was just saying to--
Steven? - Yeah?
- I'm desperate. Would you like to be my intern?
- Yes. Absolutely.
- OK! - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
All I ask for is $1,000 a week,
a shared office and bathroom,
an official announcement in the school newspaper,
and my title will be Prince of Cheer.
- How about unpaid, no perks, one strike and you're fired?
- Done.
I would have taken much less.
- Steven would not have been my first choice.
But you play the hand you're dealt.
Steven? - Yeah, Coach?
- Oh, God. Closer than I thought.
Uh, can you set up cheer comp for me?
- Oh. Yeah, we can do that.
Let's do it tomorrow afternoon.
Um, who do you want me to call?
- Let's try Nancy Smith at Oklahoma Tech.
- Big Nance!
- And if that doesn't work,
let's get Bruce Diaz at Texas Mining College.
- Big Bruce! - And if he's not available,
let's do Dick Rogers at Arkansas Ag.
- Big Dick!
- Payment plans are available.
All you need is a photo of the front and back
of your parents' credit card.
- All right, y'all, gather round, finish up.
- Gather round, finish up. Let's go!
- All right, y'all, Arkansas Agricultural
is the type of team you will be facing at Daytona--
not that team exactly, because a lot of them
don't have hands because of farm injuries, but...
- [imitates blade slicing] Ah!
- They--they are a good team nonetheless.
So we need you to bring your A game.
Steven, are they close?
- Ten minutes out. - Everybody warmed up?
- Everybody, warm up. - Focus.
- Steven, where are they?
- I sent them the directions.
- How was your date last night, Sally?
- It was great, yeah.
Holden actually showed up.
My last first date did not.
I thought he stood me up, but it turned out
he actually got hit by a train.
Funny thing was, I was on that train,
so I thought I was going to be late.
- You know, there's school counselors
that you could talk to.
- About what?
- Steven, are you sure you gave them the right address?
- Coach, please. I'll show you. Look.
- OK. - 590 Freeway 90.
- [groans] - Oh, no.
I sent them to Sammy Davis Sr. - Yeah.
Steven, you said I could trust you.
- You can. Look. I'm really sorry, all right?
But I don't like to talk about this publicly,
but, you know, I'm having a little trouble
at home right now.
I met Amelie on Facebook Marketplace.
I was looking for a futon.
You know that old love story.
And she was immediately into me.
She asked, how much money do I make?
Do I have life insurance?
I am American citizen, yes?
Then, in a big twist, it turns out
she never had a futon.
She was using me for a green card
because she's a French Canadian war bride.
She's also sleeping with our landlord, Jim Donnelly.
- OK, well, I'm real sorry about
your tragic marriage, Steven.
But I need somebody I can rely on.
- I know. That's me.
OK, look, Coach, I promised you Big Dick,
and I will not disappoint.
I'm gonna fix this. I'm gonna fix it.
- If we could just cut everything
.
- So I spoke to Big Bruce, Big Nance,
and Big D--Richard.
And it turns out not one of their schools
is available to compete against mine.
But I do need to get my team competition ready.
So I have one more play to make.
But I think this one has to be in person.
[percussive music]
♪ ♪
[knocks] - [slurping]
Pinch me. I must be dreaming.
- Not dreaming.
I just needed to see my Tammy.
- Oh, get in here!
Can I get you something?
You want a fresh ICEE?
- No, I'm good.
You--wow.
Weird to be back in my old office.
- Well, let's have a seat.
- OK. - [laughs]
- Oh. I'm sorry, I'm just--
I'm so used to being on this side of the desk.
- You know what? I want you to sit there.
- What? No.
Really? OK.
[chuckles] Oh!
Got your little booster in there.
Oh, wow. This brings back good memories.
Yeah.
- Hey, can you get out of my chair?
I'm sorry.
It's just used to my size and weight,
and I don't want to throw off the mechanics.
- Chair mechanics are important.
- Sorry. - I know.
That's true. Let me just sit.
[sighs]
- Oh, goodness, goodness, goodness.
- We have fun. [chuckles]
Oh, mama's little helper.
- Yeah, that feels right.
- You know, I was thinking, Tam,
we need a team to compete against,
and I thought it might be fun
for you and I to work together again.
- I love that for us!
- You do? - How fun!
You know what? Let me ask Monica.
Monica, get in here.
Monica.
Hey, Monica, when does the team have
some free time for a friendly "competish"
against my bestie?
- Late April.
- Well, that's after Daytona.
- Would that not work?
[slurping]
Monica, this is Cherry Coke,
not Coke with a hint of cherry.
You need to throw it out and start again.
And don't you take any.
ICEEs are for closers.
- I'm so sorry. I'll go get some fresh syrup.
- [whispering] It's so hard to find a good assistant.
- [whispering] I know.
I can't find anybody I can trust like you.
- Believe me, every day,
I think about what it was like to work for you.
- [sighs]
Tammy, I'm just going to come out with it, OK?
- OK. - This is going to sound crazy,
but here it is. - OK.
- Would you ever consider coming back
to work for me at Headltston?
We could get the band back together.
I can't promise you an ICEE machine.
And the team is a work in progress.
But I do--I think we could build something there together,
like we were doing before that stupid video
leaked and ruined everything.
And the award for Best Booty goes to...
What do you say?
- I would love to.
Yes. - You would?
- Yes. - This is such a relief.
- Only the darn powers that be at SDSJC
made me sign a five-year contract as head coach.
Oh, they just, pfft, threw money at me.
I was weak. I didn't want to do it.
But I did.
- That is amazing.
[muffled laughter]
- Hey! [knocking]
Better not be any funny business going on in there.
- Oh, there is!
[laughter]
- I'm coming in! - What?
- I hope you both know all your dead relatives
are watching you right now.
- Oh, all my relatives are dead.
- Sorry, we were just watching
skateboarding fail compilations.
- What's this now?
- Skateboarding fail compilations.
- [screams]
- [laughing] Oh!
Right in the prunes.
- [laughs] - That's good.
- Yeah. - Well, um,
what are your intentions with my...
cheerleader?
- Oh, God.
Um, you know,
just to--just to get to know her as a person...
- Mm. - And treat her with respect.
- Well, you better do that,
'cause this is one very special lady right here.
Most resilient person I know.
You know that she actually lived under a bridge
for a month? - What?
- No, it was, uh--
I actually kind of enjoyed it.
We were a tight-knit community,
and we called ourselves the Bridgertons.
- So do not put out that light, son, OK?
Or you will answer to me. - I would never.
Also, sir, my father talked about you all the time,
and he watched you, like, all the time.
He actually watched you throw
for six touchdowns one game.
- He remembers that? - Yeah! Yeah.
- That's great, 'cause I do not.
[laughs]
[crowd exclaiming]
- He was at that game
where they tried to get you down for a safety,
and you actually scrambled for 103 yards.
- I did not! - Yeah.
- Way to go, Boon! - Oh.
- Hey, what'd I do next?
- I don't know.
Um, but I'll find out.
- I'd appreciate that very much.
- I'm so happy for Tammy,
uh, and her five-year contract.
I was year-to-year there, despite my 14 trophies,
but, pfft, I'm glad to have given her
the opportunity to be head coach.
I just had to ruin my own career and life.
- Coach! Whoo!
Coming in hot!
Ooh! Stevie time!
Come on! Whoo!
- Ooh, there you go. - [breathing heavily]
Way further than I thought.
OK, just give me one second.
[retches] Mm, OK.
I have good news.
I found us a team to compete against.
- You did? - Yeah.
- How? - Well, apparently,
old Miss Krystal right there
is a part owner of an All-Star gym.
- It's literally the least I can do.
I lend my name and face to a cheer gym
in return for a percentage of ownership.
My parents are saving all of the profits
for when I go to college.
- But aren't you in college?
- You'll have to ask my parents.
- I do have to warn you, though...
- OK. - According to the email,
we are going up against one of the top teams in the country.
- This is our competition?
[laughter]
- Steven, what is this?
- Krystal, what is this?
- This is my fan base.
Also prisoners-- they love me too.
Anyway, I need to go mingle with my adoring public.
Good luck, everyone.
I believe in you.
[smooching]
Don't embarrass me.
- So this is humiliating.
- This is not humiliating.
This is beyond humiliating.
But on the bright side,
we've had very few wins, and we could all use one.
- And now, Age 9... - And up!
- Division, your Wichita Flats Baby Foxes!
[Knock2 and Milli's "Dance or Dead"]
- ♪ Hello, officer ♪
♪ I've been locked up in this club ♪
♪ Sorry, I don't mean to rush ♪
♪ No one dancing ♪
♪ What the [...] ♪
♪ I see that dude don't dance ♪
♪ I see that bitch don't dance ♪
♪ Oh, my God, who don't dance ♪
♪ Everybody, watch out 'cause I'm about to back it up ♪
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
♪ If you don't want to dance then put your ♪
♪ Hands up, hands up ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Come on, watch out ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm about to back it up ♪
♪ If you don't dance, you're [...] ♪
♪ ♪
- Last place?
They couldn't have [bleep] called it second?
.
- Obviously, I have to fire Steven.
The whole point was to take away stress,
and he has done the opposite.
But Steven is fragile.
So what I'm gonna need to say is...
[clears throat]
Well, I actually don't know what I'm going to say yet.
I'm just gonna open my mouth
and let the Lord do the talking.
Steven... - Mm-hmm?
- You are an amazing person.
Uh, and you know I love you.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, the feeling's-- feeling's mutual.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- And, um, I just feel like
you being my intern is hurting our relationship,
which I value so much.
- Oh. OK. - Right.
- Wow. I mean, I guess
I should have probably seen this coming.
- Well, but you never know until you try.
- Right. Yeah.
- Yeah. So...
- Yeah.
- Are we good?
- Yeah, I would say we're...
better than good?
- OK?
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
I appreciate you...
- Appreciate you. - A lot.
- Fare thee well. - Yeah, you too.
- OK. - So...
- You know, I should let the Lord do the talking
more often.
- Wow, wow! Wow, wow!
Courteney loves me.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
God, she's amazing.
And she thinks I'm amazing too.
You heard it.
Amelie, no, let--let me-- let me speak.
It's over.
Oh, hey, Jim. What's up, man?
Uh, can you just do me a favor and just tell Amelie it's over?
Oh, and while I have you,
I noticed that our shower is still leaking.
Did--oh, you're using it right now.
Well, thanks for picking up the phone, man.
Well, I don't want to bother you.
- [clapping] All right, y'all.
We just had our asses handed to us by a bunch of pre-tweens.
So we need to get back to work.
Let's throw some stunts up.
- Actually, uh, Coach,
um, based on our conversation,
uh, we have a little surprise for you.
- It better be quick.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
[together] Roll, Buttons! Roll!
- ♪ Go full out for your producer ♪
♪ Let's take music to the future ♪
♪ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight ♪
[Bruno Mars' "Marry You"]
- What the hell? - What?
- What are you doing? - Steven!
Oh, my God. This isn't what we planned.
- Whoo!
♪ ♪
- ♪ It's a beautiful night ♪
♪ We're looking for something dumb to do ♪
♪ Hey, baby ♪
♪ I think I want to marry you ♪
♪ Is it the look in your eyes ♪
♪ Or is it this dancing juice ♪
- So I saw a viral video
where a cheerleader got proposed to with this song,
and the entire team was in on it except for her.
It worked.
- ♪ I think I want to marry you ♪
- So I did the opposite.
Courteney Potter, will you make me
the happiest cheerleader in the world
and marry me?
[cheerleaders gasping]
- [breathing heavily]
- Steven, will you come with me, please?
- Anywhere.
- Just my office.
- Oh, God, that was weird.
- Steven's delulu! - Guys, stop!
He's old.
This is sad.
- Look, I know what you're thinking.
- I don't think you do.
- Unless I read this wrong,
you're thinking we move in with my parents.
- Steven, you are such a special, special...
- You're so special. - No, no--
- You're so special. - Let me finish, OK?
You know I adore you.
- And I adore you. - No, please, get up.
- OK. - I'm a coach.
- Right. - You are a cheerleader.
- Too human.
- This is highly inappropriate.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it's not.
I'll tell you why.
I already talked to HR about it.
- Blessed Steven! - Blessed you.
- No. - No?
- Everybody stand still. - OK.
- I'm just gonna say this as clearly as I possibly know how.
- So I, uh, read that wrong.
[chuckles]
♪ ♪
.
- Based off that pour, I can't tell
if it was a good day or a bad day.
- Ever since I got to Headltston,
it really has been one screw up after another.
This morning, got dog doo on my boots.
Then I got beat by a bunch of nine-year-olds.
Then Steven proposed to me.
- Are you kidding me? - Mm-mm.
- Your favorite pair of boots?
- Yeah, the ones with the fringe.
- Damn, baby, those went with everything.
- I know that, Boon. Ugh.
I don't know if I'm gonna be able to take
this team to Daytona.
I don't. - Of course you are.
You are the best coach in junior college cheer history.
- Tied.
And I never did it by myself.
I always had Tammy.
She was the wind beneath my legs.
- Hey, Coach Potters. - Hey, Sal.
- Uh, let's not have this conversation
in front of the child.
And also, I don't know
if you should drink so much in front of her.
You're being a good influence, and I love you for it.
Mwah!
Dinner should be ready in a second.
Hey, um, is Holden gonna be joining us?
'Cause I gotta tell you, I love that boy.
- Um, actually, no, he's not. - Ah.
- But I do have some pretty big news.
- Mm! - Yes.
I'm moving into the dorms.
I applied to financial aid,
and it turns out...
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
I'm impoverished.
- Nobody prepares you for the day
when the homeless cheerleader
who's been living with you for three weeks...
Tells you she wants to move out.
Well, if this is what you want,
then it's what I want too.
Yeah, but why, though?
Is it 'cause of Courteney's drinking?
- It was you.
You told me that I was
the most resilient person you know.
So that made me think that I could leave the nest.
- Of course you can.
I--I think that you could do anything.
And you know, gosh, I'm just--
I'm just gonna miss you a little bit, that's all.
[chuckles]
But--but hey,
we will always have "Ace Ventura."
[chuckles]
Wait right here for me, would you?
Just--quick as a flash.
[soft music]
- Oh.
Thank you. I--
- I'm probably gonna keep him here with me,
actually, but, uh, I want you to know,
he will always be here if you ever need to come back.
♪ ♪
- "If I'm not back in five minutes..."
♪ ♪
- "Just wait longer."
♪ ♪
[text swooshes]
- What in the heck?
Who's this?
And the award for Best Booty goes to...
'ey! - [slurping]
- Victoria! - [slurping]
- Victoria!
- [slurping] - Did you hear that?
[dramatic music]
- [slurping]
- We need to talk.
- Twice in one week.
Aren't I the luckiest girl in the world--
- Save it.
I know you recorded
the video that got me fired.
- I am shocked and offended
and downright flabbergasted
that you would level that accusation at me.
- Is it true? - Of course it's true!
I was tired of being overlooked.
You were too busy stomping around,
being all high and mighty, looking down your nose at me.
Don't you deny it!
And the worst part of it,
you made me feel small!
- I trusted you, and you betrayed me.
- ♪ Too bad, so sad ♪
♪ Now I'm gonna get what's mine ♪
The championship at Daytona!
- You know what, Tammy?
In the words of my favorite movie,
bring it on.
- I don't get that reference.
Probably before my time.
- [scoffs]
You don't deserve these. - Hey!
- They are mine. - Leave them alone!
- I earned these, Tammy... - Hey, no--
- Fair and square.
- Stop! Hey!
- I'll be back for the rest of these!
- No!
OK. Courteney.
Courteney!
- What?
- Who told you it was me?
- I don't know.
But if I ever find out who it was,
I'm going to make them my next assistant.
- Look, y'all, cheer is a dog-eat-dog world.
[slurping]
- I hate your doggy door!
- It's a Tammy door!
- [whistling]
- Mama, look!