1 00:00:00,750 --> 00:00:03,000 [country music] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 4 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:16,083 - Hey! - [music fades] 5 00:00:16,291 --> 00:00:18,125 [woman] Hey, Markie, good to see you. 6 00:00:18,291 --> 00:00:20,625 Oh, oh-ho, this is Pumpkin here. 7 00:00:21,041 --> 00:00:23,000 Yeah, um, give him a good ride because 8 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,375 he only has two days left to live 9 00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:27,041 and, uh, his best friend just died. 10 00:00:27,208 --> 00:00:28,833 - Oh. - [woman] He's not well. Hey, but you guys 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,458 have so much fun. 12 00:00:30,625 --> 00:00:32,666 And don't let him drive. [chuckles awkwardly] Okay. 13 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:33,875 - No worry. - [woman] Bye, Pumpkin. 14 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:35,625 Come here. Hey. [whistles] 15 00:00:35,875 --> 00:00:36,916 Bye. 16 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:38,166 [music continues] 17 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,541 You know, Pumpkin, the good news is 18 00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:45,041 at least you had a best friend. 19 00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:47,333 I never had that kinda luck. 20 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:49,375 Folks don't really take to me. 21 00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:50,583 I kinda drive 'em away. 22 00:00:51,041 --> 00:00:52,333 You're kinda quiet, bud. 23 00:00:52,958 --> 00:00:54,750 This is your last lap, so what do you want to do? 24 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:56,375 - [barks] - Okay. 25 00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,541 - Whatever you want. - [tires screeching] 26 00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:00,666 [engine revving] 27 00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:02,541 Oh, you want to go faster? 28 00:01:02,708 --> 00:01:03,750 - All right. - [barks] 29 00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:06,875 - Yeah! - [barks] 30 00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:08,500 - Really? - [barks] 31 00:01:09,041 --> 00:01:10,083 Okay. 32 00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:13,541 You're kind of a dick, dude. 33 00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,166 Yeah, hit it. 34 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:16,875 Hurry up, twin! 35 00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:19,000 Come on, we got a big day. 36 00:01:19,708 --> 00:01:21,291 Hey, tag me in, boss! 37 00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:27,958 - [music fades] - [school bell ringing] 38 00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,166 [woman] Hippos are a bloat. 39 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,166 A group of bees is called a swarm. 40 00:01:33,625 --> 00:01:37,000 [boy] "Dear Dad, not sure if you're getting my letters. 41 00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:40,625 I really miss you. Mom isn't the same." 42 00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,625 And a group of pigs is a police station. 43 00:01:43,791 --> 00:01:45,208 [all chuckling] 44 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,041 Yeah. 45 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:48,916 Steef, pay attention. 46 00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:51,083 - Eyes up front. - Uh... 47 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:54,125 Can you tell me what a group of crows is called? 48 00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:57,666 It's called a murder. 49 00:01:58,666 --> 00:01:59,875 And you know what, Steef? 50 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:01,750 A hint on how you can memorize murder? 51 00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:03,541 - Think of your dad. - [slow music] 52 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:06,333 Isn't your dad in prison for murder? 53 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,625 - So crow - [scribbling] 54 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:10,250 equals Steef's dad. 55 00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:11,916 - [class chuckling] - [scribbling] 56 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,708 [whispering] I heard his dad was a drug dealer. 57 00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:18,416 [whispering] I heard people are trying to kill him 58 00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:19,666 because of his dad. 59 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,625 [Steef] Guess I'm not that dumb. 60 00:02:23,208 --> 00:02:24,791 Figured which letters to erase in my head. 61 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:27,458 You forgot the W. 62 00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:28,791 [Steef] I'm dropping out. 63 00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:32,375 - [car approaching] - [music fades] 64 00:02:32,541 --> 00:02:33,791 [tires screeching] 65 00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,000 [engine rumbling] 66 00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:39,083 - [Markie] Uh... - Who's that, your girlfriend? 67 00:02:39,791 --> 00:02:40,833 [chuckles] 68 00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:43,375 Good one. What are you guys up to today? 69 00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,291 Just did some looting this morning. 70 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,541 I think we found Jon Benet's wedding dress. 71 00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:48,916 [man coughing] 72 00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:51,958 - Hey, are you okay back there? - [man] What do you care? 73 00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:54,166 Why don't you shove that dog up your ass? 74 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,833 Hey, be cool. He's got-- he's got cancer. 75 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,666 That truck's got cancer. 76 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,708 You should call it Not-enough-car, Not-enough-truck. 77 00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,333 I got a Mercedes lined up. 78 00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:05,291 This is kind of a rental right now, but... 79 00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:06,500 It's a nice dream. 80 00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:08,833 You know, you're going to wake up in the backseat 81 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,208 with your-- with your dick in your hand. 82 00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,541 - [contained laughter] - Oh, whoops, sorry. 83 00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:15,958 You don't have a backseat or a dick. 84 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,583 Yeah, I'm-- I'm gonna cruise. 85 00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:20,041 - Take care, dudes. - All right, stay black, bitch. 86 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:21,458 [man coughing] 87 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:22,916 - [engine revving] - [tires screeching] 88 00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,791 Have fun at Jiffy Lube. 89 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,833 - [slow music] - [kids playfully screaming] 90 00:03:32,791 --> 00:03:35,041 Hey, you need a hall pass. 91 00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:36,250 [Steef] I'm dropping out. 92 00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:41,875 - Screw y'all. - [honking] 93 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:43,041 - [tires screech] - [loud thud] 94 00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:44,250 [screaming] 95 00:03:47,083 --> 00:03:48,125 - [machines beeping] - [music fades] 96 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:53,666 I'm his mother. Made him with my own vagina, 97 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,000 if that's okay with you. 98 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:56,208 [panting] 99 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,416 - He's alive? - [chuckles] 100 00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:01,125 Someone said he was dead on text. 101 00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:02,500 Did you save him? 102 00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:04,708 Yeah. I think he got hit by a car. 103 00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:06,708 What happened was, uh, I saw him on the side of the road, 104 00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:09,875 and then I carried him and brought him here in my truck. 105 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,250 [typing and reading] "He is not dead yet. 106 00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:15,625 Y'all are so dumb, LOL, BRB." 107 00:04:16,416 --> 00:04:17,500 You're a savior. 108 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,125 He probably won't make it, though. 109 00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:23,375 [typing and reading] "Doesn't look good, prob dead." 110 00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,333 - Oh, God. - You're here. 111 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,750 Did you get the insurance deal? 112 00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:30,625 I just printed it. It's the free one, 113 00:04:30,791 --> 00:04:33,666 but it covers indoor lighting, and room-temp water deaths. 114 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,375 Did he drown? 115 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,083 [woman] Looks wet. 116 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,791 Oh, God, he drowned. 117 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,500 No, I'm-- I-- I think he's gonna be okay. 118 00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,833 I don't know. Our family dies easily. 119 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,375 God, I loved him. 120 00:04:44,541 --> 00:04:46,250 And you'll love that insurance money. 121 00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:48,250 I know what you're gonna get. 122 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:49,750 - Hmm. - Something God didn't 123 00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,791 give us 'cause he don't love us. 124 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,500 Are you going to take the insurance money 125 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:55,166 to buy yourself a wiener? 126 00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:56,625 Why, are you selling? 127 00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,333 No, I need mine. 128 00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,750 What do you need it for? 129 00:05:00,041 --> 00:05:01,916 Yeah, what do you need it for? 130 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,083 [chuckling] 131 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:06,083 [mom] All right, got to run. 132 00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:08,208 Ponderosa's having crab leg night, 133 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,000 and we get one free entréeif we're there by five. [chuckles] 134 00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,833 - Ah. - [sipping] 135 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,291 All right, I'll hang with him. I'll-- I'll 136 00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,916 - keep an eye on him. - [woman] Let's go. 137 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,125 [mom] Can't believe he's dead. [light chuckle] 138 00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:19,833 - [machines beeping] - [sighs] 139 00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:25,500 Did my mom stop by? 140 00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:26,875 Um... 141 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:29,041 No, I don't think so yet. 142 00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:31,208 But, you know, I'm sure she will. 143 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,125 I'd be surprised if she does. 144 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:34,916 So what's your name? 145 00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,500 Steef, with an F. 146 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:39,958 Steve? Where's the F at the end? 147 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:42,125 Steve. Stevef? 148 00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:43,791 - Steef. - Stevef? 149 00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:46,208 - Steef. - I'm saying it, Stevef. 150 00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:47,375 Am I saying something different? 151 00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:48,583 Steef. 152 00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,000 [machines beeping] 153 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:51,708 Steef, do I have to spell it out? 154 00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:53,875 - Yes. - S-T-E-E-F. 155 00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,958 - Wrong. - It's Steef. 156 00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:59,500 Well, that's good. Steef is... yeah-- I'm Markie. 157 00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,791 So I don't know what to do. Do you want me to 158 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,291 ...call your school, say you're not coming or? 159 00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:05,500 I-- I just quit. 160 00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:08,666 If you wanna come down to my job, 161 00:06:08,833 --> 00:06:10,125 we're always looking for a new hand. 162 00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:12,083 Do you like fancy restaurants? 163 00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:14,083 [rock music] 164 00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:17,416 [restaurant ambience] 165 00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:28,875 [car approaching] 166 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,125 [bubbling] 167 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,833 No reverb. 168 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,791 [man] Yeah, some pumps pumping. 169 00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,916 [man 2] Hey, Mr. Troy, I just wanna say thanks 170 00:07:00,083 --> 00:07:02,083 for all the work, man. It's a blessing to be working here 171 00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:03,666 near fine dining, isn't it? 172 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,833 Oh, yeah. 173 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,583 I was kinda wondering if, um... 174 00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:09,083 ...maybe you could help me with, like, a raise 175 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:11,500 or some benefits or something, uh... [stutters] 176 00:07:11,666 --> 00:07:13,166 Inflation's been kicking my butt, 177 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,916 and my mom's on my case, about paying for her sex change. 178 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,958 Yeah, uh... In due time, pal, okay? 179 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,375 In due time. 180 00:07:21,791 --> 00:07:23,250 I don't think you remember a couple of years ago, 181 00:07:23,416 --> 00:07:24,833 I was giving you a college credit. 182 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,083 Yeah. It was awful nice of you. 183 00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:28,875 - I should have been in college. - [crunching] 184 00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:30,208 [bubbling] 185 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:33,416 Listen... [sighs] 186 00:07:33,708 --> 00:07:37,375 ...the truth of the matter is, I can't put your legal name down 187 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,875 on payroll because somebody might know your daddy 188 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,375 and come snooping around. 189 00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:43,875 And I don't need that kind of aggravation. 190 00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:45,750 But I'll tell you what I will do... 191 00:07:47,791 --> 00:07:48,875 Two fist pumps. 192 00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,375 Here we go. There you go. 193 00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,750 Boom, boom. [imitates shooting noise] 194 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,375 - Feel better? - [bubbling] 195 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:56,250 Ah, listen to that flow. 196 00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:57,500 It's beautiful. 197 00:07:57,833 --> 00:07:58,833 [deep bubbling] 198 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,583 Whoa, spoke too soon. 199 00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:04,166 - That sounds like... - [bubbling continues] 200 00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:05,750 Bichon bones? 201 00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:07,750 Nah, I know that rattle. 202 00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,166 Jeez, I wish this was Jeopardy. 203 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:10,375 I'd win, right? 204 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,500 What are dentures, Alex? 205 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,833 It happens a lot. 206 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,083 Some dude squeezes out a big dump 207 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,291 and then, uh, he turns around to peep his bulwark and plop. 208 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,458 His teeth fall in. 209 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,500 Yeah. Alex is dead. 210 00:08:22,708 --> 00:08:24,083 I think his wife killed him. 211 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,708 - No. - Speaking of death, 212 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:30,000 Markie's worrying himself into an early grave, sir. 213 00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:32,083 He's got to take Pam on an anniversary date this week 214 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,416 and he doesn't know what to get her. 215 00:08:33,625 --> 00:08:34,625 [deep bubbling] 216 00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:36,500 [Troy] Oh, jeez. 217 00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:37,875 Give it a kick, will you? 218 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,458 - [thud] - Yeah. 219 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:42,333 - Yeah. - Boom. 220 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,291 Good kick, but you're gonna need a hammer for that bulge. 221 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,708 - There you go. - Oh, 222 00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:48,125 bet I can get it in six swings. 223 00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,625 No way. There's too much BM in there. 224 00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:51,875 But you know what? 225 00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:55,708 You want a raise, so I will bet you $20 226 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,041 that it takes you ten swings. 227 00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,625 You're on. 228 00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:00,916 Hey, Markie. 229 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,875 Ooh, he says four swings. 230 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,416 Hammer time. 231 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,625 - [deep thuds] - [Markie] Yeah. 232 00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:07,791 Go. 233 00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:09,000 Yeah. 234 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,250 - Boom. - [deep rumbling] 235 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,208 Oh, it's moving. Four! 236 00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,416 - [grunting playfully] - [Troy] You know something, pal? 237 00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:17,125 You are the Thor of pipe shit. 238 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,333 - Thanks, Mr. Troy. - [rock music playing] 239 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,791 - I feel good. - [honking] 240 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,625 Hey, what's up, Terry? 241 00:09:23,791 --> 00:09:26,250 What's up, Steef? My dad got y'all herding shit logs. 242 00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:28,166 You little Australian shit shepherd-- 243 00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:30,000 ship-- shepherd, shep-shit... 244 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,416 The-- The sheep that chase around the-- 245 00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:33,333 you know what I'm saying. You and Mark 246 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,041 are a bunch of shit-wrangling butt birds 247 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,625 and that's all y'all ever gonna be. 248 00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,000 [bubbling] 249 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,708 At least your dad's around, Terry. 250 00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,958 Your dad's still in prison? Maybe if you were cooler, 251 00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:43,500 he might not have went to prison. 252 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:44,666 You ever think about that? 253 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:45,875 [Markie] Hey, whoa. 254 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,375 Come on, can it, Terry. 255 00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:49,208 You gonna help? You want to grab a shovel? 256 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,291 Or you're just gonna be a dick? 257 00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:52,291 Help you? Do this shit? 258 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,083 Suck out crapper tanks for a living? [scoffs] 259 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:56,208 Hell nah. I would never do that. 260 00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,166 That's a job for stanky-ass, trailer-trash folks 261 00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:00,458 like yourself. No offense, Dad. 262 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,500 I hope you change your mind one day, son. 263 00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:05,250 Shit, I'm never doing any of this goddamn bullshit. 264 00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:06,916 You want me to suck out some butt funk? 265 00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:09,041 I'm freaking outta here, dude. 266 00:10:09,291 --> 00:10:11,166 Have fun with them turds and [indistinct]. 267 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,416 Plus, I'm working on my YouTube channel. 268 00:10:13,708 --> 00:10:15,458 Cardi B liked one of my stories. 269 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:16,958 Y'all ever heard of Logan Paul? 270 00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:18,500 How about you suck on these Logan balls? 271 00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:20,666 Call the weatherman. I'm dating a squirter. 272 00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,166 100% chance of... [imitates splat] Oof... 273 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,791 Make sure to like, share, and subscribe, pussy. 274 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,083 - More like block. - Suck my dick. 275 00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:29,666 Not you, Dad. 276 00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:30,875 Later, Terry. 277 00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,750 What up, bitches? Welcome back to my channel. 278 00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:36,250 - [engine revving] - [hype music] 279 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,291 What's up, chat, Terry getting lifted into lifting. 280 00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:40,958 And if you're feeling gifted, 281 00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:43,375 give me your dad's credit card information. 282 00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:44,958 - [chuckles] Oh! - [honking] 283 00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,125 Subscribe! 284 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,333 [crashing] 285 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,875 [objects rattling] 286 00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:54,750 That's lunch. 287 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:55,958 Is it? Okay... 288 00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,166 [slow music] 289 00:10:58,916 --> 00:10:59,958 All right. 290 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,125 - [crying] - [indistinct murmuring] 291 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:06,708 He's in a better place. 292 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,750 You think so? 293 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,666 Thank you. 294 00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:12,500 Indeed. God hit that subscribe button 295 00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,166 - and brought him home. - [sobs] 296 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,208 - [Steef] Yeah. - [Troy] Oh. 297 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,916 Who knew we'd be working here today? 298 00:11:18,083 --> 00:11:19,875 - What are the odds? - I know. 299 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,458 Folks, I'm sorry, but a contract's a contract. 300 00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:24,916 I love my son. 301 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,541 I miss him. 302 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:28,708 I'm gonna start it up, boys. 303 00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:30,875 [deep bubbling] 304 00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:36,791 Here we go. 305 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:39,791 Shit, that better not be Terry. 306 00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,958 A young angel who lived life with zest. 307 00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,208 - [car approaching] - [honking] 308 00:11:44,541 --> 00:11:46,666 - Hey! - [Markie] Is that your mom? 309 00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:48,000 Where's my dick? 310 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,416 - Hey... - Mom. 311 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,125 Where's my cock money? 312 00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:53,458 - [Steef] We're working. - [mom] That's funny. 313 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,500 I don't see any poop pipes. 314 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:57,250 - Yeah, 'cause they're underground. - [priest] A young angel 315 00:11:57,416 --> 00:12:00,166 - who lived life with zest. - [mom] Oh, how convenient. 316 00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:02,500 You two are over here playing Michael Shit-Myer's, 317 00:12:02,666 --> 00:12:04,250 not making any cash, 318 00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:07,500 and I'm sitting around on this boring pussy all day. 319 00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:10,125 - Okay, okay. - [priest] A Chinese proverb tells us 320 00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:11,916 the best time to plant a tree... 321 00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:13,250 [Steef] Mom, just call me. 322 00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:14,916 - ...is 20 years ago. - [bubbling] 323 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,083 They're talking about me in all the chat rooms! 324 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,708 Jesus fucking Christ. 325 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,125 - Take care. - [car engine starts] 326 00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:21,333 Bye, Mom. 327 00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:26,750 [sighs] It's good to see your mom. 328 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,958 Yeah, she's doing better. 329 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,125 She's still pissed that I chickened out 330 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,583 on that insurance deal at the hospital. 331 00:12:32,791 --> 00:12:34,000 You mean when you lived? 332 00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:37,458 - [chuckles] Yeah. She's big on loyalty. - Yeah. Hm. 333 00:12:37,625 --> 00:12:39,375 A Chinese proverb tells us 334 00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:43,375 the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. 335 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:46,208 The second best time is now. 336 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:49,833 Wise words. Words Terry lived by, 337 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,458 and kept in the "about" section 338 00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,916 of his YouTube info page. 339 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,333 [brave music] 340 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,875 Don't wait for life to come to you. 341 00:12:57,333 --> 00:13:00,208 You've got to go out and grab the life you want 342 00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:01,833 before it's too late. 343 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,250 Yeah. 344 00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:05,750 [sighs] 345 00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:10,208 I'm late. 346 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:12,166 It's okay. No need to be sorry. 347 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,541 Pam, I know we've been together six months, 348 00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:16,833 so, without further ado... 349 00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,375 Oh, I'm fucking starving. 350 00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:20,791 Yeah, [stutters] it's pretty 351 00:13:20,958 --> 00:13:22,291 - slammed. - How we doing, guys? 352 00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:24,041 I'm Mikey. I'm gonna be your waiter tonight. 353 00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:26,291 Could I, uh, get you started with anything? 354 00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:27,750 All kinds of things. 355 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:30,125 Can I, uh, get a glass of wine? 356 00:13:30,291 --> 00:13:32,000 Oh, yeah, I can get you whatever you want. 357 00:13:33,083 --> 00:13:34,708 - I'm a waiter. - [clink] 358 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,000 [Pam chuckles] Thanks. 359 00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,125 Hey, can I get some water? 360 00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:43,708 [Mikey] Yeah, there's a water fountain down the street, 361 00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,125 by the park. 362 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,833 But, uh, why don't I go see about that 363 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,125 - glass of wine? - [Markie sighs] Yeah, 364 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:51,958 I wanted to say, is a Chinese proverb-- 365 00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:53,208 - Hot plate! - Ow! 366 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,208 - Fuck! God dang! - I told you, hot plate. 367 00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:57,666 [Markie] You pushed it right in my hands. 368 00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,625 Ah, shoot, wrong table. 369 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:00,833 My bad. 370 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,666 God damn. Oh, oh... 371 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:03,875 [waitress] Here we-- 372 00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,666 Oh, I love that necklace. 373 00:14:06,916 --> 00:14:09,333 - Are those diamonds? - [chuckles] No. 374 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,750 Markie gave it to me. 375 00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,583 It's zircon, and the chain's copper. 376 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,250 Oh, they use copper to make machine parts, 377 00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,125 like hinges and doorknobs. 378 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,791 He stole my heart. 379 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,291 Look what he wrote on it. "To my sweatheart." 380 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:26,125 - He spelled it "sweat." - Ooh, [chuckles] come on. 381 00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,000 Say, uh, where's our hot waiter? 382 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:29,583 Hmm, I'll go grab him. 383 00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,000 Hey, save some for me. 384 00:14:32,166 --> 00:14:33,666 - Can't promise. - [both chuckle lightly] 385 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,125 His eyes might be green, but he's not. 386 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,083 Plowed through everyone in this place, 387 00:14:38,416 --> 00:14:40,250 present company included. 388 00:14:40,416 --> 00:14:42,500 [light chuckle] Lovely to meet you. 389 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,083 Yes. 390 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:47,916 Where was I? For our anniversary weekend, 391 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,041 I thought we'd go to Magic Cacti. 392 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,250 I got a room there for a couple nights, 393 00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,208 and I think it'll be even more magical. 394 00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:55,833 - Hot plate, hot plate! - [plate sizzling] 395 00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,208 [Markie screaming in pain] 396 00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:58,708 Don't touch it, it's a hot plate! 397 00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,458 - Take it, take it, take it! - [sizzling] 398 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,333 - Ow! - Oh, shoot, wrong table. 399 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,541 Sorry, my bad. 400 00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,291 What the fuck? Did-- 401 00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,458 - Does anyone have any aloe vera? - No. 402 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,000 [Markie] I want-- I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you a question. 403 00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:11,666 And I just-- everyone keeps interrupting. 404 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:14,208 Magic Cacti sounds boring as shit. 405 00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,041 I heard you can't even smoke there. 406 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,916 - [lighter clicks] - [Mikey] Here's some bread, buddy. 407 00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:21,750 - Did I hear you say Magic Cacti? - [Pam] Yeah. 408 00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,708 Yeah, I'm actually going there this weekend. 409 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,916 I hear it's so much fun. 410 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,541 I know, just the word "cacti" is fun. 411 00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,083 [waiter] Dessert, ice cream for two. 412 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,083 - Oh, does that-- Ow! - [sizzling] 413 00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:34,541 - God! - Hot plate. 414 00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,250 Why would ice cream be hot? 415 00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:37,791 - I told him it was a hot plate. - [Markie groaning] 416 00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:41,000 - [exhaling] - Alright, my bad, wrong table. 417 00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:42,958 - Shit. - Hey, man, 418 00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:44,750 this, uh-- they're towing your car outside. 419 00:15:44,916 --> 00:15:46,833 - What? My car? - [Mikey] Yeah. Yeah. 420 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,500 Wha-- What? 421 00:15:48,666 --> 00:15:51,708 G-- Hold on, honey. Does anyone have aloe vera? 422 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,250 I'll be right back. 423 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,500 - [soft music] - [restaurant ambiance] 424 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,375 [music fades] 425 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,791 - [tools buzzing in background] - [tool cranks] 426 00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,750 Markie thinks he's so fucking cool with his Mercedes. 427 00:16:09,916 --> 00:16:12,583 It's a piece of shit. I wouldn't even drive my family 428 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,166 off a cliff in this thing. 429 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,333 Yeah, I don't understand why Pam even likes him. 430 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,583 He's dumber than JFK after the first bullet. 431 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,833 [man] 432 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,708 - [chuckles] - Oh, lunch bunch, huh? 433 00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:28,333 Oh, I know what'll go with those. A couple diet sodas. 434 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,416 Keep your kidneys on their toes. 435 00:16:30,666 --> 00:16:31,708 I'll grab 'em. 436 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:36,000 [imitating Steef] "Diet sodas, fellas. Diet sodas." 437 00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:38,750 He's been a diet soda ever since he got hit by that car. 438 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,333 [man 2] What a bitch. 439 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,416 Imagine your dad goes to jail 440 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,583 and then instead of your dad getting out of jail, 441 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,833 you get hit by a fucking car. 442 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,750 Yeah, I seen that dumbass walking around like Rain Man 443 00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:50,666 - at the funeral yesterday. - [man 2] Too bad it wasn't 444 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,125 Markie's funeral. 445 00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:55,791 There you go, fellas. 446 00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,125 We were just kidding, man. 447 00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,916 Sure. I didn't hear anything. 448 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,916 - JFK like the rapper, right? - Mm-hmm. 449 00:17:02,083 --> 00:17:03,125 [man] Okay. 450 00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,250 [clears throat] 451 00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:09,041 [Markie crying] 452 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,958 - [Steef] Markie? - [Markie clears throat] 453 00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,166 - You've been crying? - No, I was just doing 454 00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:20,708 an oil change on here. 455 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,041 - [clears throat] - With your eyes? 456 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,333 - Were you crying 'cause of Pam? - [Markie] No. 457 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,250 No. 458 00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:27,916 [cries] 459 00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:30,000 [gentle music] 460 00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:37,958 Shit. 461 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,041 [deep breath] 462 00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,500 It's just these fucking turds 463 00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:45,166 are making fun of me and shitting all over me, and... 464 00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:47,833 ...Pam hasn't gotten back to me for some reason. 465 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:49,666 Everything's gonna be okay, man. 466 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:52,291 [Markie] This is the ring I got her. Look at that thing. 467 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,000 - Huh? - Oh... 468 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,625 - Oh, boy. - Look at that. 469 00:17:58,083 --> 00:18:00,750 - What side is the diamond on? - Uh... 470 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,500 I saw it earlier. Oh, there it is. 471 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,291 [Steef gasps] 472 00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:09,583 - That's some real marriage metal, man. - [Markie] Yeah. 473 00:18:09,958 --> 00:18:12,000 - You two are gonna be so happy. - [phone buzzes and chimes] 474 00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:13,416 Oh, shit. 475 00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,208 Oh... There she posted it again. 476 00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:19,166 It says, "Ready to celebrate" with a cactus emoji. 477 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:21,791 Awesome! 478 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:24,916 She's setting up for your anniversary at Magic Cacti. 479 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,458 She went early. 480 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,583 Girls love to do that, Markie. 481 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,125 Well, why hasn't she texted me back? 482 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,333 [Steef] Suspense. 483 00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,166 Haven't you seen Jaws 484 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,916 or Saving Private Ryan? 485 00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:39,250 [softly] It's-- Goddamn, that's right. 486 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,666 That's good. I like the way you think, man. 487 00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,875 Well, shit, what am I worried about? 488 00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,208 Hey, come with us. 489 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,750 Nah, that's just for you two. 490 00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:48,458 No way. If we get married, 491 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,083 you gotta be my best man. 492 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,375 Wouldn't miss it. 493 00:18:53,541 --> 00:18:54,958 But as soon as we get back, I gotta lock down 494 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:56,666 my mom's sex change. 495 00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,125 Some of the items are on sale right now. 496 00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,625 Do you think my mom will be happier when she's my dad? 497 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,250 Or is that dumb? 498 00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,291 Kindness is never dumb. 499 00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:09,208 I just wanna have a dad again. 500 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,041 We'll make it happen. 501 00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:12,916 Have I ever let you down? 502 00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,000 - Come on. - Not yet. 503 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,166 [Markie] Fuck, dude, Jawswas good. 504 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,625 [Steef] Jawswas all right. 505 00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,458 [rock music] 506 00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:24,625 I mean, I gotta admit it. Waiters are cool. 507 00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,375 They just are. 508 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,833 I mean, the way they enter a room, 509 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,458 the way they memorize your order 510 00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:31,500 without writing any shit down. 511 00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:33,500 They get free refills. 512 00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,166 They steal your chick. 513 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,166 You don't know that, Markie. You're just guessing. 514 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:39,916 Yeah, I'm just guessing, but goddamn, 515 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,625 they-- they carry prestige, you know what I mean? 516 00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:44,291 And they make all the money. 517 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,458 We're on the wrong end of the food chain, bud. 518 00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,458 They're on the food end. We're on the other end, 519 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:49,916 where the food comes out. 520 00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:52,708 Shit, no wonder Pam is so enchanted with him. 521 00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:54,375 I get it. They fucking rule. 522 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,708 That's crazy talk. 523 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,416 You're so much better than you think. 524 00:19:58,083 --> 00:20:00,458 I bet you couldn't name 70 waiters better than you. 525 00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:03,833 - [music continues] - [engine revving] 526 00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:05,666 [eagle screeching] 527 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,583 Rick Spicer. [laughs] 528 00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,000 - Yeah. - [crunching] 529 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:13,500 Old Spicedog. 530 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,958 Now, he was a good waiter. 531 00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,666 - Yeah. - Damn. 532 00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,750 - R.I.P., huh? Yeah. - R.I.P. Hmm. 533 00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:22,708 Fuck. Only 32 more, man. This is a sucker bet. 534 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:28,291 [music fades] 535 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,250 So you're saying I'm wrong about Pam? 536 00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,208 I don't know what I'm saying, 537 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:34,625 but by guessing that she's cheating on you, 538 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,000 you're not giving y'all's love a chance. 539 00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,625 I don't wanna be right. 540 00:20:38,791 --> 00:20:40,791 I wanna be wrong, but like I said, 541 00:20:40,958 --> 00:20:43,625 she hasn't texted or called in three days going on four. 542 00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,583 Hello? Airplane mode. 543 00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:50,666 I always drive with airplane mode on. 544 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,041 Oh. 545 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,916 A car is just a airplane 546 00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,166 without wings on a road. 547 00:20:56,666 --> 00:20:58,291 Brad Forrester, Fuddruckers. 548 00:20:58,458 --> 00:21:00,083 - [laughs] - [grunts] 549 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,583 - Woo! Ah... - Good one, man. 550 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:03,125 - R.I.P., man. - R.I.P. 551 00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:04,375 - Yeah. - Ugh... 552 00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:05,875 Cat attack, huh? 553 00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:06,750 - Mm-hmm. I was there. - [phone chimes] 554 00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,541 Oh, shit. Hang on. 555 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:09,791 There you go... 556 00:21:09,958 --> 00:21:11,166 Hey, check my phone. 557 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,500 I think she just posted something. 558 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:13,875 [sighs] 559 00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:17,041 Oh, yeah. Take those fucking pants off. 560 00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:18,458 [Steef] Oh, it looks like they're, uh-- 561 00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:20,875 They? He's not in her stories, is he? 562 00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:22,708 - Oh, it's sickening. Oh, I'm gonna throw up. - [Pam] Oh, yeah, what's that? 563 00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:25,416 - Oh, they're-- oh... - [Pam moans] Serve me 564 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:27,333 - that fucking waiter dick. - Oh, my God. 565 00:21:27,541 --> 00:21:30,666 Oh, yeah. Serve me that waiter dick. Fuck. 566 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,666 Oh, my God. She's not wearing anything. 567 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,125 - [Pam] Yeah. - Yes, she is, Markie. 568 00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,500 - She's wearing that gold necklace you got her. - [Pam moaning] 569 00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,625 Right there, bouncing off that guy's wiener. 570 00:21:39,791 --> 00:21:40,958 - I saw. - [moaning on video] 571 00:21:41,541 --> 00:21:42,541 [tires screech] 572 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,666 God dang it. My life sucks, and your life sucks adjacent. 573 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:50,625 Everyone's always making fun of me. 574 00:21:51,333 --> 00:21:52,916 Shit. They're making fun of you, too. 575 00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,375 You just don't hear 'em. 576 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:55,958 [gentle music] 577 00:21:58,041 --> 00:21:59,041 I hear 'em. 578 00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:00,666 [sighs] 579 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,250 Dude, I don't wanna go to Magic Cacti 580 00:22:03,416 --> 00:22:04,958 where my relationship is over. 581 00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:07,458 And I don't wanna go back home 582 00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:08,625 where everyone thinks I'm a loser. 583 00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:10,458 Well, I don't wanna go back to a place 584 00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:13,125 where I... can't escape my dad's shadow... 585 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,291 ...can't make any money. 586 00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,625 And I definitely don't wanna go to a place 587 00:22:20,791 --> 00:22:21,875 where you're not gonna be. 588 00:22:27,583 --> 00:22:28,625 [Markie] You know what they say. 589 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,125 "All good things happen in Mexico." 590 00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,000 [music fades] 591 00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:38,166 - I've heard that. - [laughs] Yes, you have. 592 00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:40,041 Let's do it. 593 00:22:40,208 --> 00:22:42,041 - [Mexican music playing] - [engine revving] 594 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:47,833 - [music stops] - [tires screech] 595 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:52,416 Is Mexico closed? 596 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:53,958 "Go around?" 597 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:55,708 [Markie] I mean... 598 00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:58,458 What a rip-off, dude. 599 00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:00,291 [Western-style music] 600 00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:09,958 [bubbling] 601 00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:18,250 Dude, look out. 602 00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:20,041 - Oh, shit. Did you see that? - [tires screech] 603 00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:22,083 Yeah. Remember I said, "Look out"? 604 00:23:22,416 --> 00:23:24,208 - Shit, what was that? - [engine revving] 605 00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:26,500 Oh, my God. I-- Did I hit it? 606 00:23:26,708 --> 00:23:27,708 Nah, you'd hear it. 607 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:29,250 - [thud] - Like that. 608 00:23:29,416 --> 00:23:32,041 Yeah. Shit, will you turn on the rodent radar? 609 00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:33,291 - Yeah. - [click] 610 00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:34,750 - [pre-recorded voice reads] - [beep] 611 00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:36,291 - Oh, it's just rabbits. - Rabbits. 612 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:37,958 - [playful music] - Oh... 613 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:39,958 - [rapid thuds] - [pre-recorded voice reads] 614 00:23:40,125 --> 00:23:41,333 [Markie] God dang. 615 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,000 - Markie... - Why are there so many? 616 00:23:43,166 --> 00:23:44,791 - What is going on? - Markie, it's not about them. 617 00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:46,625 - It's about you. - I know, but they're just running. 618 00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:48,083 [Steef] They're rabbits. 619 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:49,541 - Stay on the side, just let us-- - [thud] 620 00:23:49,708 --> 00:23:51,291 - Ugh, Markie, come on. - [thud] 621 00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:53,833 - [pre-recorded voice reads] - Is this a senior area? 622 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,041 - [pre-recorded voice reads] - [thud] 623 00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,458 I don't think that's right. 624 00:23:56,625 --> 00:23:57,750 - [thud] - [pre-recorded voice reads] 625 00:23:57,916 --> 00:23:59,541 - [both] Fat young? - Fat young what? 626 00:23:59,708 --> 00:24:00,625 - An Asian? - [thud] 627 00:24:00,791 --> 00:24:01,833 [pre-recorded voice reads] 628 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:03,250 [rapid thuds] 629 00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:06,125 [pre-recorded voice] Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. 630 00:24:06,791 --> 00:24:08,166 - Dude, we're gonna hydroplane. - [rapid thuds] 631 00:24:08,416 --> 00:24:10,000 How many are there...? [cries] 632 00:24:10,208 --> 00:24:11,666 [pre-recorded voice reads] 633 00:24:11,958 --> 00:24:13,500 [pre-recorded voice] Oh, sorry, I meant...[reading] 634 00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,750 I can't stop. If I go too slow, I hear crunching, 635 00:24:16,916 --> 00:24:18,666 and if I go fast, I just hear thumping. 636 00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:20,166 - What do I do? - [pre-recorded voice] Rabbit. Rabbit. 637 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,875 - Just floor it. - [rapid thudding] 638 00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:23,750 - [Markie] Oh, shit. [yells] - [rapid thudding] 639 00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:25,458 - [yelling] - [pre-recorded voice] Rabbit. Rabbit. 640 00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:26,541 [pre-recorded voice listing various animals] 641 00:24:26,708 --> 00:24:27,666 - Fuck, dude! - Goddamn. 642 00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,250 - [yelling] - [thudding] 643 00:24:29,416 --> 00:24:31,041 [pre-recorded voice] Oh, so sad. Oh, no, 644 00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:32,416 - poor Rabbit. So many rabbits. - [Markie] It hurts. 645 00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:33,750 - [yelling] - [rapid thuds] 646 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:47,083 [engine turns off] 647 00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:48,333 Now what? 648 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:49,708 Let me think for a second. 649 00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:52,166 [sighs] 650 00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:54,916 - [angelic music] - [gasps] 651 00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:56,791 That's a sign. 652 00:24:57,375 --> 00:24:59,291 - What is? - That sign. 653 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,000 That's the sign. Do you see it? 654 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,458 Oh, shit. Dixie Chicks are coming to Tucson. 655 00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:06,333 [Markie] No. Well, that says "Chicks with Dicks" are coming. 656 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,416 Oh, I probably won't go. 657 00:25:09,416 --> 00:25:11,083 - I might go. - This sign. 658 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:12,208 See it? 659 00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:13,416 [angelic music] 660 00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:18,500 [Steef reading] 661 00:25:18,958 --> 00:25:20,000 [chuckling] Yeah. 662 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,000 You know what busboys hatch into... 663 00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:23,208 [clicks tongue] 664 00:25:25,166 --> 00:25:26,833 - What? - Waiters. 665 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,166 - Waiters. - Yeah. 666 00:25:28,333 --> 00:25:29,250 Shit, let's do this. 667 00:25:29,416 --> 00:25:30,458 Not without a plan. 668 00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:32,166 Okay. You're right. 669 00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:33,541 All right, here's the plan. 670 00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:36,583 We go in, charm them, get the job. 671 00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:38,166 We're busboys for three days. 672 00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:40,208 Then we get bumped up to waiters, [claps hands] 673 00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:42,625 and then everything happens for us. 674 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:45,666 Pam comes running back, follows me on Instagram. 675 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:48,250 You take care of your mom. You get her that... [whistles] 676 00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:49,458 - And we're done, dude. [claps hands] - [clicks tongue] 677 00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:51,375 - Yeah. - Let's go. You ready? 678 00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:52,875 - Let's go. - All right. 679 00:25:53,125 --> 00:25:54,958 - [restaurant ambience] - [soft music playing] 680 00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:01,291 - [hostess speaking Spanish] - [clears throat] 681 00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:02,958 ...Open Border Bistro. 682 00:26:03,125 --> 00:26:05,333 - Table for two? - [stutters] 683 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,583 Uh, we wanted to see the manager. 684 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Oh, all right. 685 00:26:11,416 --> 00:26:13,791 Usually you guys just meet them in the bathroom stall. 686 00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:15,416 - "In the bathroom," you said? - [stutters] 687 00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:18,375 Make a right, make a left. I'll send them right in. 688 00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:19,541 Thank you. 689 00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:21,166 [playful music] 690 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,625 [indistinct whispering] 691 00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:26,791 This place is bumpin'. 692 00:26:26,958 --> 00:26:28,166 [Steef whispering] Look at all the food. 693 00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:29,791 It's like a magazine. 694 00:26:31,625 --> 00:26:32,875 [Markie] It looks fun. 695 00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:40,083 - How do I look? - Like a new employee. 696 00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:42,958 There you go. Okay. You know what? You look good, too. 697 00:26:43,125 --> 00:26:44,750 But, I-- you know what? I think you should-- 698 00:26:45,208 --> 00:26:46,250 you should go in a different stall. 699 00:26:46,416 --> 00:26:47,416 It's not that professional 700 00:26:47,583 --> 00:26:48,875 if we're all in the same stall. 701 00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,583 I think you go to that one, all right? 702 00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:51,791 - Because it looks a little desperate. - All right. 703 00:26:51,958 --> 00:26:53,500 Okay. Talk to you in a minute. 704 00:26:57,250 --> 00:26:58,625 Oh, yeah. This is-- this is better. 705 00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:00,750 - Are you good? - I'm great. Yeah. 706 00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:03,375 And, look, you start the conversation, and if you have any issues, 707 00:27:03,541 --> 00:27:04,958 [knocks] bang on the wall. 708 00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:06,875 I'll lean over and say something supportive. 709 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,375 - Yeah, we got this. - [Steef] Okay. 710 00:27:08,541 --> 00:27:09,958 [door opens] 711 00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:16,541 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 712 00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:18,291 [Steef] We're here for the job. 713 00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:20,541 Hey, I thought we discussed I was gonna talk first. 714 00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:21,916 [whispering] Oh, yeah. My bad, sorry. 715 00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:23,125 Never mind. Someone else is 716 00:27:23,291 --> 00:27:24,458 gonna say something. 717 00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:25,666 We're here for the job. 718 00:27:26,958 --> 00:27:28,000 [knocks] 719 00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:31,458 Hi. Come on in. I wanted to thank you for-- 720 00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:34,041 - Hey, you like sports? - Hey... 721 00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,333 - You know, I do. I actually-- - What's your wiener taste like? 722 00:27:37,583 --> 00:27:38,625 [playful music] 723 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:40,791 - My wiener? - Shh, don't say anything. 724 00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,291 - Just be here. - [softly] Okay. 725 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,541 Just be here. 726 00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:45,083 What's it taste like? 727 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,291 I'm guessing it-- maybe, like, skin... 728 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,000 Keep going. Shh... 729 00:27:50,791 --> 00:27:52,833 - Okay. Well-- - Don't say anything. 730 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,250 Tell me what it tastes like. 731 00:27:54,416 --> 00:27:56,208 I would say s-- skin, maybe. 732 00:27:56,375 --> 00:27:58,041 - And then, like, uh-- - Oh, shh, stop it. 733 00:27:58,375 --> 00:27:59,833 - Keep going. - [stutters] 734 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,500 You want me to be quiet, or do you want me to talk? 735 00:28:01,791 --> 00:28:03,833 Shh. Quiet, quiet. 736 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:05,750 Tell me what it's like. 737 00:28:05,916 --> 00:28:08,916 Okay. I would say it's a s-- little skin, maybe, 738 00:28:09,083 --> 00:28:10,666 and then maybe like the inside of my underpants. 739 00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:12,250 Oh, fuck. 740 00:28:12,541 --> 00:28:13,541 God, that's good. 741 00:28:14,041 --> 00:28:15,208 Keep going. 742 00:28:15,375 --> 00:28:17,583 Skin, underpants, maybe a little pee-pee. 743 00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:19,500 Can you feel me pinching your nuts? 744 00:28:19,791 --> 00:28:21,125 I actually can. 745 00:28:21,291 --> 00:28:22,875 [manager] Make your favorite face for me. 746 00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:26,416 Make your favorite face for me right now. 747 00:28:26,958 --> 00:28:28,000 Right now. 748 00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:30,625 - Yes. Keep going. - Um... [inhales] 749 00:28:31,458 --> 00:28:34,666 - Keep going. Shh. Shh. - Yeah. 750 00:28:35,708 --> 00:28:37,541 - [music continues] - Shh... 751 00:28:38,666 --> 00:28:40,958 - Oh, yeah. - [gurgling] 752 00:28:41,125 --> 00:28:42,583 That's wet. 753 00:28:43,916 --> 00:28:46,041 Yeah. Any cavities? [chuckles] 754 00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:48,125 Ooh, you nasty. 755 00:28:48,583 --> 00:28:49,791 I'm nasty. 756 00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:51,750 What's your favorite position? 757 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,250 - Waiter, hopefully. - But we'll accept busboy. 758 00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:57,458 [light chuckle] We saw the sign. 759 00:28:58,416 --> 00:29:00,000 W-- The sign? 760 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:03,500 Oh, the sign. 761 00:29:03,958 --> 00:29:05,000 What? 762 00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:06,875 So? 763 00:29:07,458 --> 00:29:08,458 Are we busboys? 764 00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:10,666 That's why you guys came here? 765 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:11,916 The busboy job? 766 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,666 What do you think we're doing here? 767 00:29:13,916 --> 00:29:16,166 Here to suck your dick? [laughs] 768 00:29:16,458 --> 00:29:18,125 - [all laughing] - Yeah... 769 00:29:18,291 --> 00:29:20,041 I-- I can't even suck my own dick. 770 00:29:20,208 --> 00:29:22,416 The problem is busboys are, like, 19. 771 00:29:22,583 --> 00:29:24,000 - Oh, we've been 19. You were-- - Yeah, 772 00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:25,458 - We were 19-- - Yeah, I was 19 a long time ago. 773 00:29:25,625 --> 00:29:28,125 - [Steef] Yeah. - You're 19,000. 774 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:29,416 [door opens] 775 00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,750 Manager Tim, we got a 12-top 776 00:29:31,916 --> 00:29:33,500 with a chile rellenoissue. 777 00:29:33,750 --> 00:29:35,333 Fuck my life. 778 00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:38,625 Well, [sighs] you have any fine-dining experience? 779 00:29:38,833 --> 00:29:39,833 - He does. - He does. 780 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:40,958 All right, show up here tomorrow 781 00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:42,208 3:30 sharp. 782 00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:43,750 April will show you around. 783 00:29:44,208 --> 00:29:45,291 And this never happened. 784 00:29:45,541 --> 00:29:46,958 What never happened? We're not hired? 785 00:29:47,125 --> 00:29:48,291 No, you're hired. 786 00:29:48,541 --> 00:29:49,833 Now shut the fuck up. 787 00:29:50,250 --> 00:29:52,083 And I'm not gay. 788 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:54,416 - What? - [Tim] Thank you. 789 00:29:54,583 --> 00:29:55,625 God bless you. 790 00:29:56,041 --> 00:29:57,208 [upbeat music] 791 00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:03,375 [Steef] Mark, you're the one who got into those legal issues 792 00:30:03,541 --> 00:30:04,916 at the Rainforest Cafe. 793 00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:06,291 [Markie] Yeah, 'cause I got Lyme disease. 794 00:30:06,458 --> 00:30:07,500 [Steef] Okay. 795 00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:10,583 [Markie] Oh, yeah. 796 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,041 Woo! 797 00:30:12,416 --> 00:30:13,458 [door closes] 798 00:30:14,833 --> 00:30:15,875 Here we go. 799 00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:18,958 [speaking Spanish] 800 00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:21,166 Right on time. I'm going to introduce you 801 00:30:21,333 --> 00:30:22,625 to the other bussers who will give you 802 00:30:22,791 --> 00:30:24,708 the lay of the land... And you. 803 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,541 Watch it. 804 00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,291 [Markie] Hola. 805 00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:36,000 Right this way, boys. [sighs] 806 00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:37,333 Dishwashing station. 807 00:30:37,666 --> 00:30:38,958 - [plates clattering] - [sizzling] 808 00:30:42,291 --> 00:30:44,125 - Kitchen. - [whoops] 809 00:30:45,250 --> 00:30:46,416 Move it, Naomi. 810 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,250 - Hey, one more thing. - Yeah? 811 00:30:54,458 --> 00:30:55,708 When you get hired as busboys, 812 00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,125 you will be jumped in by the others. 813 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,541 Great. 814 00:31:00,416 --> 00:31:02,000 - What does that mean? - I don't know. 815 00:31:02,166 --> 00:31:03,500 They just beat the shit out of you, 816 00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:06,458 like, when you join a gang, so be ready. 817 00:31:06,708 --> 00:31:08,625 Oh, I'm always ready to be beat up. 818 00:31:08,791 --> 00:31:09,916 I get beat up all the time. 819 00:31:11,250 --> 00:31:12,833 - Are y-- are you joking? - [April] No. 820 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,958 It's just kind of a fun tradition, 821 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:17,416 so if you hear "fresh fish," you better run. 822 00:31:17,583 --> 00:31:18,791 Fresh fish, okay. 823 00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:20,458 Unless you wanna take it like a man. 824 00:31:21,250 --> 00:31:23,000 But you don't look too much like a man. 825 00:31:25,833 --> 00:31:27,625 - Is it the hair? - It's everything. 826 00:31:27,791 --> 00:31:28,791 Yeah. 827 00:31:29,250 --> 00:31:30,291 Yeah. 828 00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:32,333 Fair enough. 829 00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:34,000 [music fades] 830 00:31:34,416 --> 00:31:36,541 Markie... Steef. 831 00:31:36,958 --> 00:31:39,666 This is Ginger. She will be your guide today. 832 00:31:39,833 --> 00:31:41,000 Shift meeting in 20. 833 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,875 Welcome to Open Border Bistro, guys. 834 00:31:43,041 --> 00:31:44,916 It's a busy place, but I got you. 835 00:31:45,291 --> 00:31:46,625 Can one of you help me tie my apron? 836 00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:47,833 [Markie] Oh, sure. 837 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,666 I see you looking at my mom's ass. 838 00:31:49,958 --> 00:31:51,291 It's on sight. 839 00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:53,166 That's my son, Oscar. 840 00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:55,125 He's gonna be a doctor. 841 00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:56,833 - I'm not even in school. - [Steef] Why aren't you in school? 842 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,083 Suck it, faggot. 843 00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,125 - I'm Mexican. - What? 844 00:32:00,291 --> 00:32:02,583 - Hey, we don't say that word. - [Steef] Yeah. 845 00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:03,708 - It means happy. - [Steef] Well, that's 846 00:32:03,875 --> 00:32:04,791 - gay. - That's gay. 847 00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,000 Well, I'm trans. 848 00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:07,375 Isn't he handsome? 849 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:09,958 - [Steef] He? - Those lockers are yours. 850 00:32:10,583 --> 00:32:12,958 [sighs] Eyeliner's the one nice thing 851 00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:15,208 I do for myself each day. 852 00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:18,791 I work so much, I don't even feel like a woman sometimes. 853 00:32:19,083 --> 00:32:20,208 Well, you're definitely a woman. [light chuckle] 854 00:32:20,375 --> 00:32:21,875 Hey! [speaking Spanish] 855 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,041 [in English] 856 00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:30,083 Oh, that's Gregor, and I'm Romina. 857 00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:32,083 Hi, I'm a Pisces, 858 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:35,291 full moon rising, and I'm also a Reiki healer, so... 859 00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,083 - Hmm. - I'm Steef, and that's Markie. 860 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:39,208 - We're adult men. - So good to have you guys. 861 00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:41,000 We really could use the help. [light chuckle] 862 00:32:41,166 --> 00:32:43,375 Waiter promotions are in three months, 863 00:32:43,541 --> 00:32:45,125 - so... Yeah, - [both] Ooh... 864 00:32:45,291 --> 00:32:46,708 we're all hoping to get promoted, so... 865 00:32:46,875 --> 00:32:48,833 [Tim] Round up, you panochos. Let's go. 866 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,708 - [Romina] Oh, good luck. - Okay. 867 00:32:51,166 --> 00:32:52,583 [softly] This is gonna be it. 868 00:32:52,833 --> 00:32:53,875 I'm Murderball. 869 00:32:54,125 --> 00:32:55,166 I'm in a wheelchair. 870 00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:58,041 - Yeah. You're doing good. - Oh... 871 00:32:58,375 --> 00:32:59,416 [creaking] 872 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:01,791 I'll catch up. 873 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,041 [slow Mexican music] 874 00:33:05,708 --> 00:33:07,625 Look alive out there today, folks. 875 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,625 Help the waiters where you can. 876 00:33:10,125 --> 00:33:12,375 But remember, don't get in their way. 877 00:33:12,541 --> 00:33:14,458 They're the humans, you're the shadows. 878 00:33:14,916 --> 00:33:16,833 86, the Sinaloa salmon. 879 00:33:17,291 --> 00:33:20,125 Oh, and there was a recall on the Pop Smoke Crème Brûlée. 880 00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:22,416 Roll silverware when you can. 881 00:33:23,041 --> 00:33:24,375 Also, refills. 882 00:33:24,625 --> 00:33:26,166 Keep the customers wet. 883 00:33:27,083 --> 00:33:28,833 Oh, and we have two new busboys. 884 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,958 Let them flank you until they're up to speed. 885 00:33:31,333 --> 00:33:33,333 Do I think they'll last? No. 886 00:33:33,583 --> 00:33:36,083 But what do I know? I'm just the fucking boss. 887 00:33:36,625 --> 00:33:37,791 Any questions? 888 00:33:38,916 --> 00:33:40,375 Nope? Great. 889 00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:42,833 Anything you need, ask April. 890 00:33:43,166 --> 00:33:44,416 [speaking Spanish] 891 00:33:46,416 --> 00:33:47,625 [rock music] 892 00:33:58,208 --> 00:34:00,375 - [inaudible dialogue] - [restaurant ambience] 893 00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:30,458 - [water running] - [dishes clattering] 894 00:34:31,875 --> 00:34:32,916 [music continues] 895 00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:37,166 [dishes crashing] 896 00:35:00,541 --> 00:35:01,583 [music fades] 897 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:02,875 [slow music] 898 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,291 [Steef] Oh, lord... 899 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:09,750 If you gotta pee, just get up. 900 00:35:11,458 --> 00:35:12,500 [Steef] No. 901 00:35:14,625 --> 00:35:15,875 It's this job. 902 00:35:17,666 --> 00:35:19,625 Every time I turn around, I'm messing up. 903 00:35:19,833 --> 00:35:21,458 The Murderball squealed his wheels at me, 904 00:35:21,625 --> 00:35:24,291 and Oscar called me a, um, titty dick. 905 00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:26,333 Who cares about that kid? He's like three. 906 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,291 What? He's almost eight. 907 00:35:28,458 --> 00:35:30,000 - [Markie] He is? - Yeah. 908 00:35:30,208 --> 00:35:32,250 Listen, those guys are just territorial, that's all. 909 00:35:33,083 --> 00:35:35,750 - Just then I broke those dishes. - Who cares? 910 00:35:35,958 --> 00:35:37,708 They got insurance up the ass for that stuff. 911 00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:39,333 - They'll probably make money. - They do? 912 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,750 - [Markie] Yeah. - [Steef] I just don't know 913 00:35:40,916 --> 00:35:42,333 if I can even do this anymore. 914 00:35:42,666 --> 00:35:43,708 [sighs] 915 00:35:46,083 --> 00:35:48,291 I think you're just kind of feeling sorry for yourself. 916 00:35:49,333 --> 00:35:50,708 You just gotta stay positive. 917 00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:53,500 I mean, who beat that blockage out of that shit line 918 00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:55,250 in four swings? 919 00:35:55,750 --> 00:35:56,958 That was you, dude. 920 00:35:57,333 --> 00:36:00,416 And who's the guy that gave CPR to that old man 921 00:36:00,583 --> 00:36:02,791 at Piggly Wiggly on Thanksgiving? 922 00:36:03,041 --> 00:36:05,125 - He died. - [Markie] Yes, but, uh, 923 00:36:05,291 --> 00:36:06,875 he was puffed up there. You got him going. 924 00:36:07,041 --> 00:36:08,875 Yeah. I'm like, "I think almost 200 PSI, man." 925 00:36:09,041 --> 00:36:10,791 - He was maxed out. - [Markie chuckles] 926 00:36:11,250 --> 00:36:13,291 And who's the guy that's been working for years... 927 00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:17,375 ...really hard, to buy his mom an aftermarket dangler? 928 00:36:18,208 --> 00:36:20,041 - Again, you. - [sighs] 929 00:36:20,250 --> 00:36:22,125 You're not gonna pick this stuff up right away. 930 00:36:22,791 --> 00:36:24,458 You know what I mean? These guys have been there forever. 931 00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:28,250 But the thing is, you can't give up, because... 932 00:36:29,958 --> 00:36:32,916 ...if you give up, I won't be far behind. 933 00:36:36,208 --> 00:36:38,291 And I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 934 00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:41,166 Till that table's clean. [clicks tongue] 935 00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,333 Waiters? 936 00:36:44,583 --> 00:36:45,625 [Steef] Waiters. 937 00:36:47,291 --> 00:36:48,333 Thanks, Markie. 938 00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:50,166 [rock music] 939 00:36:56,291 --> 00:36:57,541 [water running] 940 00:37:02,583 --> 00:37:03,625 [music continues] 941 00:37:25,666 --> 00:37:26,708 [inaudible] 942 00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:28,583 [swooshing] 943 00:37:32,458 --> 00:37:34,125 [inaudible] 944 00:37:44,625 --> 00:37:45,708 [indistinct chattering] 945 00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,375 [music fades] 946 00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:51,666 [man speaking Spanish] 947 00:37:53,083 --> 00:37:55,000 About time for the waiter announcement, no? 948 00:37:55,333 --> 00:37:57,708 If one of you dish bitches gets promoted over me, 949 00:37:58,125 --> 00:38:00,083 - I'd be shocked. - Well, you've been here a week, dude. 950 00:38:00,250 --> 00:38:01,750 - You're not getting shit. - [man] Oh, yeah? 951 00:38:01,916 --> 00:38:03,000 But I'm better than you. 952 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,250 And faster. 953 00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:05,958 Watch it. [exhales] 954 00:38:06,125 --> 00:38:08,250 [moaning] 955 00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:13,458 - That's pretty good. - Not bad. 956 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,166 - Damn. - Two weeks ago, I didn't even know English. 957 00:38:15,333 --> 00:38:17,250 Now? ABCDFG, bitch. 958 00:38:17,416 --> 00:38:18,875 Besides, man, come on. 959 00:38:19,083 --> 00:38:21,375 You two gotta be the oldest busboys in the universe. 960 00:38:21,541 --> 00:38:22,875 - Hey. - More him. 961 00:38:23,333 --> 00:38:24,916 - Yeah. - Well, you know... 962 00:38:26,916 --> 00:38:29,625 Man... Competition's gonna be tough. 963 00:38:30,125 --> 00:38:31,666 Rick's fast. 964 00:38:31,833 --> 00:38:33,000 And good-looking, man. 965 00:38:33,583 --> 00:38:34,791 He should be disqualified. 966 00:38:34,958 --> 00:38:36,083 I heard a picture of his abs got 967 00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:37,583 - 100 likes. - Wait. How many? 968 00:38:37,750 --> 00:38:39,000 [Steef] What if they only pick one of us? 969 00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:40,958 They won't do that, dude. We're a team. 970 00:38:41,125 --> 00:38:42,333 They don't know that, Markie. 971 00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:43,583 They don't give a shit. 972 00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,791 - [squeaking] - [Rick sighs] 973 00:38:46,291 --> 00:38:47,625 Three minutes, losers. 974 00:38:48,041 --> 00:38:49,666 Hey, yo! Mario Kart. 975 00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:51,916 - Boost it. - [Murderball speaks Spanish] 976 00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:53,458 Here we go. 977 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,541 - [sighing] - [stutters] I got it, ese. 978 00:39:00,583 --> 00:39:02,500 How'd you end up all wheeled out, brother? 979 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:06,458 I-- I got polio from one of the chicken enchiladas. 980 00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,250 Oh, you got some pollopolio? 981 00:39:10,083 --> 00:39:11,916 - [chuckles lightly] - What did you say? 982 00:39:12,916 --> 00:39:14,166 Pollopolio. 983 00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,958 - Hey, man, that's racist. - Yeah, that's racist, Markie. 984 00:39:17,125 --> 00:39:19,083 No, it's funny. I'm just saying it-- it sounds funny. 985 00:39:19,250 --> 00:39:20,500 Funny to who? 986 00:39:20,666 --> 00:39:22,500 This lifetime musical chairs winner? 987 00:39:22,791 --> 00:39:24,333 - Gross. We can all agree - [speaking Spanish] 988 00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,833 this place sucks. I hope I get waiter. 989 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,291 - Yeah, me too. Let's go. - I know. Me too, man. 990 00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:30,083 [grunts] Thanks, steppy. 991 00:39:30,250 --> 00:39:31,666 - Yeah, papá. - [Markie] Ah, I'm stressed. 992 00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:33,666 [Murderball] Man, you're strong, bro. 993 00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:34,875 [Steef speaks Spanish] 994 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,458 Well, hello, ladies. 995 00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:41,541 It's that time of year again when one of you zipper-sippers 996 00:39:41,708 --> 00:39:43,666 is gonna get up to the bigs. 997 00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:46,000 We only have one waiter job this year, 998 00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:48,291 and it's no surprise that none of you really deserve it. 999 00:39:48,458 --> 00:39:50,666 Put the biscuit down. 1000 00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,375 Biscuits are for waiters. 1001 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,750 - [clink] - But, one of you is gonna get it, 1002 00:39:54,916 --> 00:39:56,166 and according to the new administration, 1003 00:39:56,333 --> 00:39:58,166 it can't be a naturally-born citizen. 1004 00:39:58,625 --> 00:40:00,166 Are you a naturally-born citizen? 1005 00:40:00,375 --> 00:40:01,916 - I'm doggy style. - It's a hard choice. 1006 00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:03,416 There's so much talent here. 1007 00:40:04,125 --> 00:40:07,916 Romina, the way you handled that nine-top of mimes 1008 00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:11,000 on Días de los Muertos was angelic. 1009 00:40:11,375 --> 00:40:13,458 Knowing they wanted Chalupa's con verde 1010 00:40:13,708 --> 00:40:16,625 only by hand signals, it was magnifique. 1011 00:40:17,041 --> 00:40:19,333 - Is it your time? - [dramatic tone] 1012 00:40:22,041 --> 00:40:25,541 Steef, Markie, you guys have worked over 80 days 1013 00:40:25,708 --> 00:40:27,208 in the past three months. 1014 00:40:27,583 --> 00:40:30,500 If that doesn't deserve a promotion, what does? 1015 00:40:30,708 --> 00:40:32,291 - Pick him. - Silence! 1016 00:40:34,125 --> 00:40:36,333 Your ability to battle through your illness, 1017 00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,291 which our attorneys assure us will clear up 1018 00:40:38,458 --> 00:40:39,875 within a matter of days, 1019 00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:43,000 while doing your job, is truly remarkable. 1020 00:40:43,375 --> 00:40:44,958 Great fucking work. 1021 00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:48,041 Are we gonna have our first waiter conwheels? 1022 00:40:48,208 --> 00:40:51,750 - [Mexican music] - [laughs and celebrates] 1023 00:40:52,666 --> 00:40:53,916 [celebrating] 1024 00:40:54,083 --> 00:40:56,416 - [wheels rattle] - [Tim speaking Spanish] 1025 00:40:56,583 --> 00:40:58,833 - [chuckles] - [Mexican music fades] 1026 00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:01,375 [dramatic music] 1027 00:41:02,458 --> 00:41:04,625 Gregor, you don't say much, 1028 00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:06,333 and you've been drawing what can only be described 1029 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,916 as satanic shit all over the bathroom walls. 1030 00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:11,875 Quite frankly, we're afraid to let you go. 1031 00:41:12,041 --> 00:41:13,083 [grunt] 1032 00:41:13,250 --> 00:41:15,125 - [speaks Spanish] - [dramatic tone] 1033 00:41:20,583 --> 00:41:23,083 Rick, you have great skin... 1034 00:41:23,958 --> 00:41:25,625 ...but you've been here under a week, 1035 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,500 and it's hard to evaluate your commitment 1036 00:41:27,666 --> 00:41:30,291 - to our fine establishment. - [dramatic tone] 1037 00:41:30,791 --> 00:41:33,041 This was a very difficult choice. 1038 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:38,041 No, it wasn't. Rick, get up here! 1039 00:41:38,208 --> 00:41:39,375 - Come on, get the jacket, yeah! - No... 1040 00:41:39,541 --> 00:41:41,500 - [clapping] - You're kidding me. 1041 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,083 - [Tim] Get in here, Rick. - [Markie] What? 1042 00:41:44,375 --> 00:41:45,750 [Steef] Rick sucks piss, dude. 1043 00:41:45,916 --> 00:41:47,125 Oh, man. 1044 00:41:47,375 --> 00:41:48,541 Anyone who didn't see this coming 1045 00:41:48,708 --> 00:41:50,000 is a fucking imbecile. 1046 00:41:50,416 --> 00:41:52,250 Of course we're gonna put him front and center. 1047 00:41:52,416 --> 00:41:53,541 We're a business. 1048 00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:56,500 The next waiter tryouts are in six months. 1049 00:41:56,875 --> 00:41:59,083 - Get back to work, cockroaches. - Oh... 1050 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:01,041 - [groans] - [music fades] 1051 00:42:01,208 --> 00:42:03,208 - [Murderball] ...two, three. - Fucking prick. 1052 00:42:03,833 --> 00:42:05,583 I actually thought we had a chance this time. 1053 00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:07,333 Damn! 1054 00:42:07,833 --> 00:42:08,875 [Murderball grunting] 1055 00:42:10,208 --> 00:42:11,250 Pisses me off. 1056 00:42:11,666 --> 00:42:13,583 F, F, F! 1057 00:42:13,916 --> 00:42:16,000 - [grunting] - Ha! 1058 00:42:16,208 --> 00:42:17,791 [Steef] It pisses me off, Markie. 1059 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:20,625 And the doctor keeps calling me, man. 1060 00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,625 If one of us made waiter, that's how I was gonna pay 1061 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:24,958 for my mom's surgery. 1062 00:42:25,125 --> 00:42:27,041 - Yeah. - Another one. Let's go. 1063 00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:30,041 [Steef] But the next call-up's only six months away. 1064 00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:32,625 - It's not that far away. We-- - Yes, it is. 1065 00:42:33,041 --> 00:42:35,458 Dude, that's six more months I can't tell Pam I'm a waiter. 1066 00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:36,916 Isn't she seeing that guy? 1067 00:42:37,125 --> 00:42:39,000 Yeah, I mean, if you go by Instagram. 1068 00:42:39,166 --> 00:42:41,000 - It could be AI. - Thank you, Oscar. 1069 00:42:41,166 --> 00:42:42,333 I thought she blocked you. 1070 00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:44,750 - I got a burner. - [grunts] 1071 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,791 You softshells need to work out a little bit more, 1072 00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:48,333 and the women won't leave you. 1073 00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:49,750 Eat shit, Murderball. 1074 00:42:49,916 --> 00:42:51,375 I wasn't talking to you. 1075 00:42:51,541 --> 00:42:52,958 We work seven days a week. When are we working out? 1076 00:42:53,125 --> 00:42:54,666 Yeah, who gives a shit? 1077 00:42:54,833 --> 00:42:56,250 [Murderball] Sounds like a personal problem, baby. 1078 00:42:56,416 --> 00:42:57,791 You brought it up. 1079 00:42:57,958 --> 00:42:59,875 Hey, can't you see that they're suffering? 1080 00:43:00,166 --> 00:43:01,208 [Murderball] Sorry. 1081 00:43:01,833 --> 00:43:04,416 - Man, he's changed. - Wait, does he live right there? 1082 00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,333 - Yeah. - [Markie] What? 1083 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:08,000 [Steef] Yeah, he just told me that inside. 1084 00:43:08,166 --> 00:43:09,375 [Oscar] He's a fucking pussy. 1085 00:43:10,416 --> 00:43:12,583 Yeah, after the lawsuit, they let him move in right there. 1086 00:43:12,750 --> 00:43:13,708 [cool music] 1087 00:43:13,875 --> 00:43:15,875 Holy shit, that lucky prick. 1088 00:43:16,125 --> 00:43:17,083 - Yeah. - Oh, my God, 1089 00:43:17,250 --> 00:43:18,458 he ate one bad burrito, 1090 00:43:18,625 --> 00:43:20,333 - he gets a whole new pad? - [chuckle] 1091 00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:23,291 Everyone's killing it but us, man. Fucking pollopolio. 1092 00:43:23,458 --> 00:43:25,041 - I want one. - [Steef] Yeah. 1093 00:43:25,208 --> 00:43:26,916 - [struggling] - Ooh. 1094 00:43:27,208 --> 00:43:28,208 [dramatic music] 1095 00:43:29,125 --> 00:43:30,291 - [groans] - Oh, somebody 1096 00:43:30,458 --> 00:43:31,708 arguing with their Uber driver. 1097 00:43:31,875 --> 00:43:33,375 Oh, two stars. 1098 00:43:33,541 --> 00:43:35,500 - [thud] - [Steef] Oh, maybe it's a TikTok. 1099 00:43:35,666 --> 00:43:37,500 Hmm... What if it's an OnlyFans? 1100 00:43:37,666 --> 00:43:39,333 - [all three] Ooh. - [punches thudding in background] 1101 00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:40,833 [chuckles] Let's give him some privacy. 1102 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,291 - Yeah. - [dramatic music] 1103 00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,208 - [Markie] Oh, we need dinner money. - [Steef] Again? 1104 00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:47,958 [Markie] You feel like shooting some ropes? 1105 00:43:48,666 --> 00:43:49,708 [chill music] 1106 00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:03,041 - [music fades] - [claps hands] Hey, June. 1107 00:44:03,958 --> 00:44:06,583 Hi, Cutie. What can I do you for today? 1108 00:44:06,750 --> 00:44:09,375 Oh, I think old Tug McGraw here is gonna go for the 1109 00:44:09,541 --> 00:44:12,041 - both-fluid special, all right? - Ooh... 1110 00:44:12,208 --> 00:44:13,958 Yeah. Oh, my God, 1111 00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:16,708 - those jizz prices have really skyrocketed. - [June] Yeah. 1112 00:44:16,875 --> 00:44:18,250 Anything to do with that truck spill? 1113 00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:21,708 Skeet fleet, yeah. Damn icy roads. 1114 00:44:21,875 --> 00:44:23,250 Everything went up after that. 1115 00:44:23,416 --> 00:44:25,083 I'm surprised the highway didn't get pregnant. 1116 00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:26,958 [June laughs] 1117 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:29,791 It's not that funny. 1118 00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:31,291 [June] Okay. 1119 00:44:31,458 --> 00:44:32,833 So what are you gonna go for today, then? 1120 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,625 [sighs] I gave you guys so much 1121 00:44:34,791 --> 00:44:36,208 last week, I could barely blow my nose. 1122 00:44:36,375 --> 00:44:37,375 - Yeah. - [June chuckles] 1123 00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:38,708 But I'm gonna go for the special. 1124 00:44:38,875 --> 00:44:40,125 - Yeah... - All right, we got a special 1125 00:44:40,291 --> 00:44:42,333 in room four. Okay, wait a second. 1126 00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:44,000 I think you're gonna want this. 1127 00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:47,375 Head on back there to get you laced up, Bubba. 1128 00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:49,291 Call me Aunt Spank. 1129 00:44:49,458 --> 00:44:50,500 I'll be in my attic. 1130 00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:52,875 Yeah, fill her up. 1131 00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:54,708 [chill music playing] 1132 00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,166 [exhaling] 1133 00:45:05,791 --> 00:45:07,208 When are you gonna ask me out? 1134 00:45:08,250 --> 00:45:09,583 - Hmm? - [June chuckles] 1135 00:45:09,791 --> 00:45:11,708 Oh. Uh... 1136 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:12,916 Well... 1137 00:45:13,541 --> 00:45:15,625 I mean, presently, I'm sort of... 1138 00:45:16,083 --> 00:45:17,291 Kind of in the middle of something. 1139 00:45:17,458 --> 00:45:18,750 Oh. Mm-hmm. 1140 00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:20,333 I heard you're kinda not. 1141 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:21,416 - [chuckles] - Well, I mean, 1142 00:45:21,583 --> 00:45:22,791 if you go by Instagram, 1143 00:45:22,958 --> 00:45:24,708 but I hear a lot of that's, like, A.I. 1144 00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:26,250 A lot of guys like me. 1145 00:45:26,583 --> 00:45:27,833 It's true. [chuckles] 1146 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000 They drive past here, and they beep. 1147 00:45:32,041 --> 00:45:34,666 They don't stop, but they beep. 1148 00:45:38,166 --> 00:45:39,208 Oh... 1149 00:45:40,375 --> 00:45:42,125 No, I believe it. I believe it. 1150 00:45:43,166 --> 00:45:44,458 Oh, boy, yeah. 1151 00:45:44,875 --> 00:45:46,166 Maybe he's having a lull. 1152 00:45:46,458 --> 00:45:47,500 Try your other arm! 1153 00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:50,250 - Sorry to yell. - [June sighs] 1154 00:45:50,416 --> 00:45:51,458 Sorry, guys. 1155 00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:55,000 [awkward noises] 1156 00:45:58,625 --> 00:46:00,958 Uh, I'm probably gonna sit down over here for a second. 1157 00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:02,125 - [June] Okay. - Okay. 1158 00:46:02,291 --> 00:46:03,333 [country music] 1159 00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:19,708 [man speaking Spanish on TV] 1160 00:46:19,916 --> 00:46:21,291 [man 2 on TV] Good to see you, man. 1161 00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:22,708 Hey, this is my friend Tony Montana 1162 00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:24,333 I've been telling you about. 1163 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:25,791 - Look at that. - [man 2] Tony, that's Omar... 1164 00:46:25,958 --> 00:46:27,041 Look at that. [claps] Come here. 1165 00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:29,416 Dude, these guys went from working 1166 00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,250 in the kitchen to being millionaires. 1167 00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,125 What? Were they on a game show? 1168 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,916 No, dude. They're dealing drugs. 1169 00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:37,458 They took matters into their own hands, [smacks hand] 1170 00:46:37,625 --> 00:46:38,958 and that's what we gotta do. 1171 00:46:39,666 --> 00:46:41,916 We don't have enough money to last another six months. 1172 00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:43,458 I was counting on that waiter shit. 1173 00:46:43,625 --> 00:46:45,416 We don't have any money, Markie? 1174 00:46:45,666 --> 00:46:46,833 How are we out of money? 1175 00:46:47,166 --> 00:46:49,000 We just drained every fluid in my body. 1176 00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:51,666 Well, have you noticed we eat Funyuns every night for dinner? 1177 00:46:51,833 --> 00:46:53,541 Yeah, Markie, they're great. 1178 00:46:53,708 --> 00:46:54,916 Well, listen... 1179 00:46:55,083 --> 00:46:56,500 [man speaking indistinctly on TV] 1180 00:46:56,750 --> 00:46:59,291 - We gotta do that. - Then why didn't you, man? 1181 00:46:59,458 --> 00:47:01,250 And don't be calling me no fucking dishwasher, okay? I'll kick your fucking ... 1182 00:47:01,416 --> 00:47:03,791 - We don't have any drugs. - [indistinct chattering on TV] 1183 00:47:03,958 --> 00:47:05,500 - I think I got an idea. - [ominous music] 1184 00:47:05,916 --> 00:47:08,916 Shit. Yep. Yep. Come here. [whistles] Come on. 1185 00:47:09,083 --> 00:47:11,791 Check it out. See this caballeroon 47? 1186 00:47:12,125 --> 00:47:13,958 - The Civil War guy. - [Steef] Oh, yeah. 1187 00:47:14,125 --> 00:47:15,416 [Markie] Okay, so this dude 1188 00:47:15,583 --> 00:47:16,916 left a Dexatrim on the table last time 1189 00:47:17,083 --> 00:47:18,333 when I was cleaning up. 1190 00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:19,375 I walked by, and no one was looking, 1191 00:47:19,541 --> 00:47:20,625 I slurped that shit up. 1192 00:47:20,791 --> 00:47:21,958 - Oh, what? - [chuckles] 1193 00:47:22,125 --> 00:47:23,333 What if it had fentanyl in it? 1194 00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:24,791 Dude, I'm not allergic to fentanyl 1195 00:47:24,958 --> 00:47:26,333 like a lot of these pussies. 1196 00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:28,166 I think we go by there and scope for dope. 1197 00:47:28,583 --> 00:47:29,916 [Steef] Maybe we should think about this. 1198 00:47:30,083 --> 00:47:31,458 Selling drugs is dangerous. 1199 00:47:31,625 --> 00:47:33,708 Yeah, but you know what else is dangerous? 1200 00:47:34,625 --> 00:47:35,833 Railroads are dangerous. 1201 00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:38,375 Time is extremely dangerous. 1202 00:47:38,666 --> 00:47:41,375 How many people have died since the beginning of time? 1203 00:47:42,416 --> 00:47:43,625 - Wow. - [Markie] Yeah. 1204 00:47:43,791 --> 00:47:45,291 Listen, we don't have a choice. 1205 00:47:45,541 --> 00:47:46,916 We're never getting your mom that meat missile 1206 00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:48,916 - she wants at this rate. - Yeah. 1207 00:47:49,083 --> 00:47:50,541 Don't you wanna get that thing on her? 1208 00:47:50,708 --> 00:47:51,958 [imitating Markie] Yeah, I want her to have 1209 00:47:52,125 --> 00:47:53,208 - that thing on her. - [Markie] Yeah. 1210 00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:56,375 Okay, listen. I don't wanna sell drugs, 1211 00:47:56,541 --> 00:47:57,875 - but we need money. - [Markie] Yes. 1212 00:47:58,041 --> 00:47:59,583 - Waiters make money. - Mm-hmm. 1213 00:48:00,541 --> 00:48:01,875 We make one big sale. 1214 00:48:02,041 --> 00:48:03,750 We use the proceeds to buy a restaurant 1215 00:48:03,916 --> 00:48:06,416 and then we promote ourselves to waiters. 1216 00:48:06,916 --> 00:48:08,125 [music continues] 1217 00:48:08,291 --> 00:48:10,500 - Is that a good idea or what? - [sighs] 1218 00:48:11,708 --> 00:48:13,208 [chuckling] It's a fucking great idea. 1219 00:48:13,458 --> 00:48:15,000 That is unbelievable. 1220 00:48:15,166 --> 00:48:16,541 - It fixes everything. - I'm gonna go say something. 1221 00:48:16,708 --> 00:48:18,125 Yeah, what are you going to say? 1222 00:48:19,625 --> 00:48:21,875 - You go say something. - Yeah, I'll go say something. 1223 00:48:22,041 --> 00:48:23,000 Yeah... 1224 00:48:23,166 --> 00:48:24,208 [restaurant ambience] 1225 00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:27,583 [dramatic Western music] 1226 00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:28,875 You sure you can handle this? 1227 00:48:29,041 --> 00:48:31,083 Oh, yeah. How do you wanna do it? 1228 00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:33,500 I give you the drugs to sell and it's a 90-10 split. 1229 00:48:33,666 --> 00:48:34,666 We get the 90. 1230 00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:35,875 [man] You get the 10. 1231 00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:39,333 - Right. - And then you guys split the 10%. 1232 00:48:39,708 --> 00:48:41,125 Then I get five of that back 1233 00:48:41,291 --> 00:48:43,291 just for fees and surcharges and all that stuff. 1234 00:48:43,458 --> 00:48:44,625 Oh, like Ticketmaster? 1235 00:48:44,791 --> 00:48:46,458 - [man] Exactly. - Okay... 1236 00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:50,000 Sounds good. 1237 00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:52,916 [thud] 1238 00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:54,416 Is that the shit? 1239 00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:55,583 [man] You know it's the shit. 1240 00:48:55,958 --> 00:48:57,000 Now go sell it. 1241 00:48:57,541 --> 00:48:58,583 Fuck yeah. 1242 00:48:59,458 --> 00:49:00,875 Why are we doing this in the freezer? 1243 00:49:01,041 --> 00:49:02,375 I don't know. I thought that was your idea. 1244 00:49:03,375 --> 00:49:04,666 You know what? Sometimes they hide a popsicle 1245 00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:05,791 in the tomatoes. 1246 00:49:05,958 --> 00:49:06,875 [dramatic music] 1247 00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:08,291 [exhales] Okay. Uh... 1248 00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:09,708 We're not gonna make the same mistakes 1249 00:49:09,875 --> 00:49:11,541 they do in movies. They buy stuff, 1250 00:49:11,708 --> 00:49:13,333 they get all this money. And they get flashy 1251 00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,458 and they get a big puffer coat. We're not doing that. 1252 00:49:15,625 --> 00:49:17,291 We're gonna do one big sale. 1253 00:49:17,458 --> 00:49:18,416 Goodbye. 1254 00:49:18,583 --> 00:49:19,875 Ooh, let's try this crackhead. 1255 00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:22,333 Yo, yo. What's going on, boss? 1256 00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:23,708 Hey, wha-- what up? What up? 1257 00:49:23,875 --> 00:49:25,500 What up thoe? What up thoe, then? 1258 00:49:25,666 --> 00:49:27,208 - What's cracking? - [man continues greeting] 1259 00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:29,958 - What's good, twin? - [man] What's happening? Huh? 1260 00:49:30,125 --> 00:49:31,458 [mumbling] Hey, uh, you want, uh... 1261 00:49:31,625 --> 00:49:33,750 [all mumbling indistinctly] 1262 00:49:34,916 --> 00:49:35,958 [clearing throat] 1263 00:49:36,583 --> 00:49:38,125 - [man] What's that? - [both mumbling] 1264 00:49:38,291 --> 00:49:39,208 Say what now? 1265 00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:41,208 [all mumbling indistinctly] 1266 00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:45,125 Do you want to buy some Dexatrim? My God... 1267 00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:46,625 - [Steef mumbling] - Dexatrim? 1268 00:49:46,791 --> 00:49:48,000 Yeah. Would you like to buy some drugs? 1269 00:49:49,833 --> 00:49:51,666 - DEA! You're under arrest. - [radios static] 1270 00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:53,541 - What? - You're under arrest. Hands where I can see 'em. 1271 00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:54,833 - [Markie] Oh, fuck. - Put them up. 1272 00:49:55,166 --> 00:49:57,791 - Markie? Who did-- what? - [sirens blaring] 1273 00:49:58,083 --> 00:49:59,625 - [music continues] - [tires screeching] 1274 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,250 Did we win something? 1275 00:50:01,541 --> 00:50:03,208 Department of Homeland Security, on the ground! 1276 00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:04,916 - [Markie] Shit. - [Steef] Markie, are they buying it? 1277 00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:07,250 Shut your face. Back off, DHS. This is a DEA bust. 1278 00:50:07,416 --> 00:50:09,000 DEA? Nobody has the sniffles here. 1279 00:50:09,166 --> 00:50:10,500 Department of Transportation, all right? 1280 00:50:10,666 --> 00:50:12,458 - These skips are coming with us. - Flakers on DOT. 1281 00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:14,500 - Back up... [indistinct] - Nobody called for a meter maid. 1282 00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,083 - Get on the ground. - [DEA agent] Fuck you. Get up, hands up. 1283 00:50:16,250 --> 00:50:18,083 We saw what you did to rabbits, you sickos. 1284 00:50:18,250 --> 00:50:19,875 - [DEA agent] Get up. - [DHS agent] Get down on the ground. 1285 00:50:20,041 --> 00:50:21,541 - Get the-- Shut the-- - On your knees. Do you hear me? 1286 00:50:21,708 --> 00:50:23,041 - [DOT agent] Get up! - Up or down? 1287 00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:24,583 Either way is fine, just say which one. 1288 00:50:24,750 --> 00:50:26,083 - Get up! - Step towards us. 1289 00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:28,250 - What are you doing? [groans] - Hands up! 1290 00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:30,458 [DHS agent] Stop doing Charlie's Angels! 1291 00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,541 - What is this, Cirque du Soleil? - [overlapping dialogues] 1292 00:50:32,708 --> 00:50:34,583 Stop pointing that at me, I could get an eye infection. 1293 00:50:34,791 --> 00:50:36,791 - How could you-- This way! - [DEA agent] Stay still. 1294 00:50:36,958 --> 00:50:38,875 - Hands off him. Hands on the ground. - [DEA agent] Up, up, up, up! 1295 00:50:39,041 --> 00:50:41,333 - Stop Titanicking. - You two have clearly been to- the parties. 1296 00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,166 - [both] DTF. - Yes. 1297 00:50:43,333 --> 00:50:45,125 [both] Sorry, I think we're in the wrong place. 1298 00:50:45,291 --> 00:50:46,250 - No, no. You can stay. - Yeah. 1299 00:50:46,416 --> 00:50:47,416 On your knees. 1300 00:50:48,333 --> 00:50:50,750 DTF, do you like black guys? 1301 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,541 - I'm a great listener. - [clears throat] A crime? 1302 00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,208 - [guns clicking] - [DHS agent] On your knees. 1303 00:50:55,375 --> 00:50:57,041 - Everybody back off. - Get out of here, Triple A. 1304 00:50:57,208 --> 00:50:58,625 - One of those-- - Don't you attack me. 1305 00:50:58,791 --> 00:51:00,625 This is a transportation issue. 1306 00:51:00,791 --> 00:51:03,166 - [overlapping dialogues] - ...could call you from Immigration. 1307 00:51:03,333 --> 00:51:04,625 Woah, woah, woah. Easy now. 1308 00:51:04,791 --> 00:51:05,833 [DOT agent] I have a badge. 1309 00:51:06,250 --> 00:51:09,000 - [overlapping dialogues] - [sirens blaring] 1310 00:51:09,166 --> 00:51:10,291 [music fades] 1311 00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:19,666 What's up, perv? Were you REM-sleeping in there? 1312 00:51:20,291 --> 00:51:23,000 Dude, I'm glad you're up because we've got a big day today. 1313 00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:24,833 We're going to sell some Dexy. 1314 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,166 [Steef] What about yesterday, Markie? 1315 00:51:28,291 --> 00:51:29,500 When we went to get ice cream? 1316 00:51:29,666 --> 00:51:31,208 No, when we escaped the drug bust. 1317 00:51:31,375 --> 00:51:32,958 Wait, was that yesterday? 1318 00:51:33,166 --> 00:51:35,666 Oh, my God, that felt like a week ago. How weird. 1319 00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:37,833 I don't know if you've been keeping up with the news, but 1320 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:39,333 we got away with it. 1321 00:51:39,875 --> 00:51:41,250 So we've gotta try again, right? 1322 00:51:41,416 --> 00:51:42,875 But this time I've got it all figured out. 1323 00:51:43,125 --> 00:51:45,291 So, we're gonna repo it. I'm going to take all the drugs, 1324 00:51:45,458 --> 00:51:46,791 put them in the trunk of the car. 1325 00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:48,333 They just can't be on us. 1326 00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,125 Because possession is seven-tenths of the law. 1327 00:51:50,291 --> 00:51:51,333 So we're golden. 1328 00:51:52,625 --> 00:51:53,708 All right, Markie. 1329 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,333 But I've got to tell you something. 1330 00:51:55,791 --> 00:51:56,875 Do not... 1331 00:51:58,291 --> 00:51:59,958 ...feed the lizard. 1332 00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,958 - I didn't. - Do not... 1333 00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:03,916 - I barely talk to that lizard. - I came in yesterday, 1334 00:52:04,083 --> 00:52:06,000 - it was eating something. - I gave him one Skittle. 1335 00:52:06,791 --> 00:52:09,333 Markie, get the pipe cleaner. 1336 00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:11,291 - Fuck. - It's in the drawer. 1337 00:52:11,458 --> 00:52:12,583 [Steef grunts] 1338 00:52:14,958 --> 00:52:16,583 Did you say something, you fat fuck? 1339 00:52:16,791 --> 00:52:17,833 [Western-style music] 1340 00:52:24,166 --> 00:52:25,333 Oh, yeah. 1341 00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:26,708 [Steef] Nice. 1342 00:52:26,875 --> 00:52:28,291 Who runs this town, motherfucker? 1343 00:52:28,583 --> 00:52:30,291 - You do. - Yeah. 1344 00:52:30,916 --> 00:52:32,875 Man, we're gonna get my mom that cock. 1345 00:52:33,041 --> 00:52:34,791 Yeah, wiener money. 1346 00:52:34,958 --> 00:52:35,958 [Steef] What font is that? 1347 00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:37,208 [Markie] I think that's Roman. 1348 00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:38,916 Oh, we got a customer, man. 1349 00:52:39,083 --> 00:52:40,125 All right, come on. 1350 00:52:40,541 --> 00:52:41,583 All right, be cool, be... 1351 00:52:42,416 --> 00:52:45,416 Yo, yo, what you gringosup to? 1352 00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:46,875 I'm brunette. [light chuckle] 1353 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:48,875 Oh, a couple poppers, huh? 1354 00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:52,000 You guys slangin' those gay makers, huh? 1355 00:52:52,333 --> 00:52:54,875 Put that hyena on your cock, man. 1356 00:52:55,041 --> 00:52:56,375 - [chuckles] Yeah. - Oh, hell yeah. 1357 00:52:56,541 --> 00:52:57,875 That shit'll make your dick burp, homie. 1358 00:52:58,041 --> 00:52:59,416 - This is fuckin' straight. - [man] Ooh... 1359 00:53:00,416 --> 00:53:02,583 - Dexatrim. - Oh, shit. 1360 00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:04,291 I heard that shit slaps. 1361 00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:07,375 My buddy was on it, and now he can't see his kids. 1362 00:53:07,666 --> 00:53:09,708 Lucky his kids fuckin' suck. 1363 00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:11,250 - [honking] - Okay. Bro, 1364 00:53:11,416 --> 00:53:12,541 - chill. - Chill, Grimace. 1365 00:53:12,708 --> 00:53:14,416 Come on, dude. You in or out? 1366 00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:16,291 - How much? - For how many? 1367 00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:17,750 Can you handle seven? 1368 00:53:17,916 --> 00:53:18,833 I can't do that many, I don't think. 1369 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,458 I have to work in one hours. 1370 00:53:20,666 --> 00:53:22,083 - I tell you what... - Come on... 1371 00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:23,166 - What a pussy, huh? - [man] I'll give you... 1372 00:53:23,666 --> 00:53:25,291 - ...20 bucks. - Are you a cop? 1373 00:53:25,458 --> 00:53:26,541 You have to tell us if you are. 1374 00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,166 I'm a fuckin' boss! 1375 00:53:28,333 --> 00:53:29,416 You don't have to tell us that. 1376 00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,083 Yeah, I do. I'm a boss. 1377 00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:32,416 Write that shit down. 1378 00:53:32,583 --> 00:53:33,750 [Steef] Okay, we'll notate it. 1379 00:53:37,791 --> 00:53:39,041 [sniffles] It's real. 1380 00:53:40,375 --> 00:53:42,250 [Markie] Yeah, man, it's party time. 1381 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,458 - Oh, shit. - [Steef] Oh, they're chewable? 1382 00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,833 - [Markie] Oh, goddamn. - [munching rapidly] 1383 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,250 - Oh, woah. Slurp God. - [chuckles] 1384 00:53:48,750 --> 00:53:50,500 - Hey, that's a lot. Woah. - [Markie] Oh, yeah. 1385 00:53:50,833 --> 00:53:51,958 You're gonna pop a gasket, 1386 00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:53,375 - dude. That's too-- - Woah. 1387 00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:55,041 - [choking] - Oh, shit, he's glitching. 1388 00:53:55,250 --> 00:53:56,833 Shit, bro. Check your matrix, homie. 1389 00:53:57,375 --> 00:53:59,666 - Órale,motherfuckers. - [rock music] 1390 00:53:59,916 --> 00:54:01,583 I feel like Peso Pluma. 1391 00:54:01,750 --> 00:54:05,083 I'm gonna propose to my girlfriend and join a gym. 1392 00:54:05,291 --> 00:54:07,083 This is the best day of my life. 1393 00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:14,791 - [music fades] - [sirens blaring] 1394 00:54:14,958 --> 00:54:16,166 - [tires screech] - [doors open] 1395 00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,375 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, woah... - [helicopters overhead] 1396 00:54:19,541 --> 00:54:21,166 [indistinct radio chattering] 1397 00:54:22,875 --> 00:54:25,000 A-- Again, we will not be pressing charges, 1398 00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:26,916 so I guess we're free to go? 1399 00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:28,875 Pipe down, you little figure skater. 1400 00:54:29,041 --> 00:54:29,958 [suspenseful music] 1401 00:54:30,125 --> 00:54:31,166 Hello. 1402 00:54:31,750 --> 00:54:33,500 - [door closes] - I'm Agent Boyd 1403 00:54:33,666 --> 00:54:34,958 Federal Bureau of Investigation. 1404 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:36,208 This is Agent Tally. 1405 00:54:36,875 --> 00:54:39,250 Oh, also, I'm a magician. 1406 00:54:39,708 --> 00:54:42,000 - [woman] Oh. - And I will pull the living hell 1407 00:54:42,458 --> 00:54:43,750 out of your asses... 1408 00:54:44,791 --> 00:54:46,500 unless you do exactly what I ask. 1409 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,458 - That guy's jacked. - [Markie] Yeah. 1410 00:54:48,625 --> 00:54:50,375 You just interrupted Agent Boyd. 1411 00:54:51,166 --> 00:54:54,333 You do it again, I'll sew your fucking mouth shut 1412 00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:56,083 with diarrhea! 1413 00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:58,791 [slams table] It's bigger than we know, and I'm scared. 1414 00:54:59,166 --> 00:55:00,541 And you know what I'm talking about. 1415 00:55:00,708 --> 00:55:03,000 - Me? - Was he looking at somebody else? 1416 00:55:03,416 --> 00:55:05,208 Ask another dumb question again, 1417 00:55:05,375 --> 00:55:06,708 I'll zip you up in a body bag 1418 00:55:06,875 --> 00:55:08,916 and beat you with a shovel for six years. 1419 00:55:09,125 --> 00:55:10,166 I like the shorter guy. 1420 00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:18,291 You two are gonna tell me every fucking little thing you know. 1421 00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,166 My father was incarcerated when I was seven, and-- 1422 00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,000 About the restaurant, idiots! 1423 00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:26,958 [both] Hey, don't call him an idiot. 1424 00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,083 Okay, listen. They don't base promotions 1425 00:55:30,250 --> 00:55:33,000 on any... Code of Ethics. It's really... 1426 00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:36,250 And the chips have salt on them, but sometimes we put more salt. 1427 00:55:36,416 --> 00:55:38,083 They add salt. Also, this is true. 1428 00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:41,333 We have to take a break before our shift, you understand? 1429 00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:43,458 It makes no sense. We get there, and they want us to 1430 00:55:43,625 --> 00:55:44,666 - take a shift-- - [cup thuds] 1431 00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:49,166 Who in the restaurant are you selling drugs for? 1432 00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:51,375 We just got passed over for waiter, all right? 1433 00:55:51,541 --> 00:55:52,500 We need money. 1434 00:55:52,666 --> 00:55:54,250 And it's not even a big deal. 1435 00:55:54,416 --> 00:55:55,416 It's just Dexatrim. 1436 00:55:56,291 --> 00:55:58,541 Did you say... "Dexatrim"? 1437 00:55:58,875 --> 00:55:59,875 Yes, he did. 1438 00:56:00,416 --> 00:56:02,166 - Yeah. - [Steef] Yeah. 1439 00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,541 [door opens] 1440 00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:09,500 My wife was on Dexatrim. 1441 00:56:10,291 --> 00:56:12,750 She painted our house on it before, you know. 1442 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:14,666 These halfwits don't know shit. 1443 00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:16,166 "We put extra salt." 1444 00:56:16,333 --> 00:56:17,625 Jesus. 1445 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:18,833 A couple of busboys trying to come up. 1446 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,041 I can relate. 1447 00:56:20,458 --> 00:56:22,083 Passed over for waiter so many times, 1448 00:56:22,375 --> 00:56:23,625 I joined the force. 1449 00:56:23,791 --> 00:56:24,625 I mean, either they're-- they're dumb 1450 00:56:24,791 --> 00:56:25,958 or really fucking dumb. 1451 00:56:26,291 --> 00:56:27,500 You'll want to see this. 1452 00:56:28,583 --> 00:56:29,583 [music continues] 1453 00:56:30,083 --> 00:56:31,125 Ha! 1454 00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:34,791 You know this guy? 1455 00:56:36,583 --> 00:56:37,916 He's a drug kingpin... 1456 00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:40,291 ...known as Padre Noche. 1457 00:56:45,041 --> 00:56:46,291 - No. - No, I don't think so. 1458 00:56:46,541 --> 00:56:47,583 Look at it again. 1459 00:56:48,083 --> 00:56:51,000 [both] Uh... 1460 00:56:51,166 --> 00:56:52,208 [both] No. 1461 00:56:55,416 --> 00:56:56,500 You know what? [chuckles] 1462 00:56:56,666 --> 00:56:57,708 I believe them. 1463 00:56:57,875 --> 00:56:58,916 [chuckles] 1464 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,291 Me too. 1465 00:57:00,458 --> 00:57:01,708 Can't believe I'm saying it. 1466 00:57:02,750 --> 00:57:04,458 Can we send them in as C.I.s? 1467 00:57:04,833 --> 00:57:05,833 [snickers] 1468 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,250 They could get killed. 1469 00:57:07,708 --> 00:57:08,708 Hopefully. 1470 00:57:09,416 --> 00:57:10,458 [music continues] 1471 00:57:11,208 --> 00:57:12,750 I'll shoot straight with you boys. Um... 1472 00:57:14,208 --> 00:57:16,041 ...selling fake Dexatrim is illegal. 1473 00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:18,208 - Fake? No, this is... - Shit's-- 1474 00:57:18,708 --> 00:57:19,708 Why'd that guy crash? 1475 00:57:19,875 --> 00:57:20,958 Could've been a Raiders fan. 1476 00:57:21,125 --> 00:57:22,666 We don't know. We don't care! 1477 00:57:22,833 --> 00:57:25,416 Listen, test it again. The guy who sold it to me 1478 00:57:25,583 --> 00:57:27,291 said he muled it across the border 1479 00:57:27,458 --> 00:57:29,041 and the mule got a little bit of it 1480 00:57:29,208 --> 00:57:31,916 and got so high he fucked the wheels off a Ford Festiva. 1481 00:57:32,625 --> 00:57:33,666 - [donkey braying] - [playful music] 1482 00:57:34,708 --> 00:57:36,000 - [donkey braying] - [screaming] 1483 00:57:36,333 --> 00:57:37,583 [tires bursting] 1484 00:57:37,833 --> 00:57:39,166 - What we do know... - [suspenseful music] 1485 00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:41,541 ...is that we're willing to drop the charges. 1486 00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:44,666 If you can help us out. 1487 00:57:44,958 --> 00:57:46,541 [Tally] We've been scoping out Border Bistro. 1488 00:57:46,708 --> 00:57:48,916 Lot of heavy drug activity passing through there. 1489 00:57:49,083 --> 00:57:50,208 But you want us to be narcs? 1490 00:57:50,708 --> 00:57:52,500 - At our own restaurant? - It's either that 1491 00:57:52,666 --> 00:57:54,375 or you go to court for selling illegal drugs. 1492 00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:59,250 Or go to prison for life but hang yourself after two weeks. 1493 00:57:59,416 --> 00:58:00,916 - Oh... - [Boyd] We will put you 1494 00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:03,125 somewhere first under cover 1495 00:58:03,291 --> 00:58:05,666 so that you can get a... feel for it. 1496 00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:08,375 - Uh... - [Boyd] What do you say, fellas? 1497 00:58:08,541 --> 00:58:09,750 Huh? Yes? 1498 00:58:09,916 --> 00:58:10,958 - Is that a "yes"? - [music fades] 1499 00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:15,083 - [Steef] Yikes. Seniors. - [Markie] Yeah... 1500 00:58:15,666 --> 00:58:16,958 And they're big. 1501 00:58:17,791 --> 00:58:20,625 Hey guys, what kinda intel are we supposed to be grabbing here? 1502 00:58:20,833 --> 00:58:23,833 Just keep your ears open and your cocks soft. Got it? 1503 00:58:24,541 --> 00:58:27,333 Look, overall this is just practice. 1504 00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:29,916 So... see you at 3 p.m. 1505 00:58:31,333 --> 00:58:32,375 [interesting music] 1506 00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:36,958 [groans] Okay, bye dads! 1507 00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:40,708 Yes, our dads are gay, people. 1508 00:58:40,875 --> 00:58:41,916 Calm down. 1509 00:58:43,250 --> 00:58:44,500 Those guys are gay? 1510 00:58:44,666 --> 00:58:45,958 - [Markie] I think so. - [Steef] Wow. 1511 00:58:46,166 --> 00:58:47,666 They got the mustache for sure. 1512 00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:51,000 [Steef] Oh, yeah, those are prison curtains. 1513 00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:53,250 Look, science fair is in three weeks. 1514 00:58:54,041 --> 00:58:55,083 What do you got? 1515 00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:57,041 Oh-- oh, you got fentanyl? 1516 00:58:57,375 --> 00:58:59,250 - You're taking fentanyl? - I got-- no, I'm taking fencing. 1517 00:58:59,416 --> 00:59:01,416 - What do you got? - Oh, God... 1518 00:59:01,666 --> 00:59:04,541 I got chorus and remeia-- 1519 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,083 - remiadal. Re-- Yeah. - Remedial reading. Yeah. 1520 00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:08,500 - Want to switch? - No, that's good. No. 1521 00:59:08,916 --> 00:59:10,666 Alright, so we-- right here 1522 00:59:10,833 --> 00:59:12,166 - right after school, okay? - Yeah. 1523 00:59:12,333 --> 00:59:14,125 - Okay. Yeah. - You got this? Soak it up. 1524 00:59:14,291 --> 00:59:15,791 Get some info. You're wired. 1525 00:59:15,958 --> 00:59:17,166 - Okay, okay, right. - Let's do it. 1526 00:59:18,333 --> 00:59:19,375 [both] You're going this way? 1527 00:59:19,541 --> 00:59:20,666 - Yeah, bro. - Ah. Perfect. 1528 00:59:20,833 --> 00:59:21,875 [school bell ringing] 1529 00:59:22,208 --> 00:59:23,458 Uh, we're new. 1530 00:59:23,708 --> 00:59:25,583 Can anyone tell me what's going on here? 1531 00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:27,666 [kid] Uh, that's um... 1532 00:59:28,208 --> 00:59:29,416 - Fuck. - Language. 1533 00:59:29,583 --> 00:59:31,458 Sorry, sir, um... 1534 00:59:32,458 --> 00:59:35,291 It's um... Shit, it's a-- it's a fucking... 1535 00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:37,000 Fuck, what's it called? It's a-- it's a pipe. 1536 00:59:37,166 --> 00:59:38,458 Language, please. 1537 00:59:39,083 --> 00:59:41,208 - Wrong. - That's a meth maker, huh? 1538 00:59:41,500 --> 00:59:42,541 [class chuckles] 1539 00:59:43,958 --> 00:59:46,750 What Victor was s-- saying, sir, is that it's a sump pump. 1540 00:59:46,916 --> 00:59:49,250 Correct. And what can you tell me about it? 1541 00:59:49,875 --> 00:59:52,958 A sump pump collects water underneath your house... 1542 00:59:53,833 --> 00:59:57,541 ...until it fills enough it triggers a float switch 1543 00:59:57,916 --> 00:59:59,583 which activates the discharge pipe 1544 00:59:59,750 --> 01:00:01,625 which pushes the water away from your house. 1545 01:00:01,791 --> 01:00:02,833 Exactly. 1546 01:00:03,125 --> 01:00:05,083 Damn, new kid's a contractor. 1547 01:00:05,333 --> 01:00:07,791 - [class chuckles] - [kid] Thanks, bro. 1548 01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:09,125 That's what I was trying to say. 1549 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:11,583 Hey, Mr. Gotti tried to fart in my mom's butt. 1550 01:00:11,833 --> 01:00:14,083 - [class chuckles] - [Steef] Oh, God... 1551 01:00:14,916 --> 01:00:18,000 When a man and a woman get together in a certain way-- 1552 01:00:18,166 --> 01:00:19,666 - Handjob? - No. 1553 01:00:20,208 --> 01:00:22,500 Hmm... What is a handjob? 1554 01:00:23,375 --> 01:00:24,916 That is correct. 1555 01:00:25,083 --> 01:00:27,041 Yeah, I know my shit. 1556 01:00:31,208 --> 01:00:32,250 Next one. 1557 01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:37,125 [Steef sighs] Oh, what a day, huh? 1558 01:00:37,291 --> 01:00:38,708 - [groans] - [music fades] 1559 01:00:39,583 --> 01:00:40,791 [groan] 1560 01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:44,125 Oh, my stomach hurts. I had too many Twixes at lunch. 1561 01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,625 What did we learn, fellas? Give us the drop. 1562 01:00:46,791 --> 01:00:48,166 Well, it was a pretty tough first day. 1563 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,333 You guys know Thomas Murphy from band class? 1564 01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:54,291 No. He's a dealer or something? 1565 01:00:54,458 --> 01:00:56,166 - [chuckles] Yeah. - You'll want to hear this. 1566 01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:57,666 Listen to this shit. 1567 01:00:57,875 --> 01:00:59,458 - [clicks] - [band playing on recording] 1568 01:01:04,500 --> 01:01:05,500 What'd I miss? 1569 01:01:05,666 --> 01:01:06,750 - [clicks] - [recording stops] 1570 01:01:07,166 --> 01:01:08,583 - Oh, you didn't catch that? - [Boyd] No. 1571 01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:10,416 - He sucks. - [chuckles] 1572 01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:12,333 Yeah. And he's first chair. 1573 01:01:12,708 --> 01:01:14,750 - I'm better than him. - This dude barely plays 1574 01:01:14,916 --> 01:01:16,916 - and he's better than him. - Yeah, I play once a month. 1575 01:01:17,291 --> 01:01:18,333 Jesus. 1576 01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:20,750 What you got? 1577 01:01:20,916 --> 01:01:21,791 [Markie] Some guy told me I look like 1578 01:01:21,958 --> 01:01:23,458 "Low-Ironman." 1579 01:01:23,708 --> 01:01:27,416 And another guy said I look like an iPhone one inch. 1580 01:01:27,583 --> 01:01:29,500 That means you have a small dick and you're old. 1581 01:01:29,666 --> 01:01:30,875 Yeah, it's a combo burn. 1582 01:01:31,375 --> 01:01:33,541 Oh... I knew it was a negative. 1583 01:01:33,750 --> 01:01:35,708 Don't sweat this one, fellas. Look... 1584 01:01:36,750 --> 01:01:38,000 ...we're gonna send you in full steam tomorrow 1585 01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:39,208 at the restaurant. 1586 01:01:39,625 --> 01:01:40,541 You're ready. 1587 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:42,625 - Fuck yeah. - Yeah. 1588 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,375 [Western music sting] 1589 01:01:45,375 --> 01:01:47,541 Okay. We just gotta seem like we're not doing nothing. 1590 01:01:47,708 --> 01:01:48,750 Totally normal. 1591 01:01:49,041 --> 01:01:50,791 - [bubbling] - You hear that? 1592 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,541 [Steef] Yeah. 1593 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,416 - What is that? - [liquid sloshing] 1594 01:01:54,583 --> 01:01:57,333 [Steef] Sounds like a Rubik's cube. 1595 01:01:57,541 --> 01:01:58,583 [Markie] Yeah. 1596 01:01:59,041 --> 01:02:00,250 Wrapped in plastic. 1597 01:02:01,041 --> 01:02:04,208 With a backsplash of butt bustle. 1598 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,125 - [Markie] Mm-hmm. - [Steef] Vitamin B piss. 1599 01:02:07,291 --> 01:02:08,500 Maybe a Barbie doll? 1600 01:02:08,791 --> 01:02:09,791 [bubbling] 1601 01:02:10,375 --> 01:02:11,583 Just the torso. 1602 01:02:12,333 --> 01:02:14,041 - Yes. - Hmm. 1603 01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:16,041 Yeah, something is clogging those lines. 1604 01:02:16,208 --> 01:02:17,250 - Yep. Def-- - For sure. 1605 01:02:22,041 --> 01:02:23,458 Think we should tell manager Tim? 1606 01:02:23,958 --> 01:02:26,500 I mean, I don't give a fuck. Ah-- it's their problem. 1607 01:02:26,666 --> 01:02:27,916 They got insurance. 1608 01:02:28,083 --> 01:02:29,666 - Oh, they do? - Yeah, we got work to do. 1609 01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:30,875 Yeah, we're really busy. 1610 01:02:31,208 --> 01:02:32,458 [bubbling] 1611 01:02:33,125 --> 01:02:34,166 [dramatic music] 1612 01:02:47,041 --> 01:02:48,916 - Good evening. - Hey, do you wanna play a game 1613 01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:51,166 where we open up your locker and see what's inside of it? 1614 01:02:52,916 --> 01:02:54,125 - I have not. - Hmm. What is it, 1615 01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:55,791 a collection of criminal activity? 1616 01:02:59,750 --> 01:03:00,708 - Oh, - Hmm... 1617 01:03:00,875 --> 01:03:01,958 sounds like a healthy divorce. 1618 01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,708 - Take care. - Noted. 1619 01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:06,291 [music continues] 1620 01:03:06,625 --> 01:03:07,708 [Steef speaking Spanish] 1621 01:03:08,125 --> 01:03:09,625 - [speaks Spanish] - Truth or dare? 1622 01:03:09,791 --> 01:03:11,333 Have you been selling drugs for a company 1623 01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:13,666 outside of our company, but using our company? 1624 01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:16,750 That's also a cartel that works in Mexico or America? 1625 01:03:17,291 --> 01:03:19,208 Oh, no, I'm vegan. 1626 01:03:19,541 --> 01:03:20,875 - Hmm. - Carry on. 1627 01:03:21,833 --> 01:03:22,875 Did you get that? 1628 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,208 Oh, it's Manager Tim. 1629 01:03:25,958 --> 01:03:27,666 Have you guys seen the new schedule? 1630 01:03:27,833 --> 01:03:29,458 [Markie] Oh, yeah, we had a question about that. 1631 01:03:29,625 --> 01:03:31,750 Also, we were just telling each other our deepest, 1632 01:03:31,916 --> 01:03:33,916 darkest, uh, secrets for no reason. 1633 01:03:34,083 --> 01:03:35,125 What's yours? 1634 01:03:36,625 --> 01:03:38,708 I once lived with a guy for ten months. 1635 01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,916 He went around telling people I was gay. 1636 01:03:42,416 --> 01:03:43,625 So we broke up. 1637 01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:45,291 [interesting music] 1638 01:03:46,250 --> 01:03:47,291 Back to work. 1639 01:03:48,291 --> 01:03:49,333 Sir... 1640 01:03:50,208 --> 01:03:51,750 And we're out of chalupas. 1641 01:03:54,750 --> 01:03:56,000 We got him. 1642 01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:00,208 [music fades] 1643 01:04:01,083 --> 01:04:02,125 [hip-hop music] 1644 01:04:02,583 --> 01:04:03,541 Fuck, man, they're not-- 1645 01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:05,166 Oh, who are those guys? 1646 01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:08,083 [Mark] Oh, shit, are those those OnlyFans guys? 1647 01:04:09,166 --> 01:04:11,000 Just don't look at these guys. Keep walking. 1648 01:04:12,500 --> 01:04:13,500 [Markie] Hey guys. 1649 01:04:14,708 --> 01:04:15,875 - [Steef] Good afternoon. - [Markie] Hey. 1650 01:04:27,208 --> 01:04:28,458 These guys are upset about something, huh? 1651 01:04:30,750 --> 01:04:31,791 [man 1] ...motherfuckers. 1652 01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:39,666 Yeah. No trouble, fellas. Just gonna get some pizza. 1653 01:04:39,833 --> 01:04:40,875 Medium pizzas. 1654 01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:42,958 Come on out, fuck you. 1655 01:04:46,375 --> 01:04:47,666 Are we allowed to leave? 1656 01:04:47,916 --> 01:04:49,666 What? What? What? 1657 01:04:50,958 --> 01:04:52,000 [engine struggling] 1658 01:05:01,708 --> 01:05:02,625 You want us to get you something? 1659 01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:03,833 [glass shattering] 1660 01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,333 - Fuck, dude. - [man 1] 1661 01:05:22,958 --> 01:05:24,000 [Markie] We don't want any trouble. 1662 01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:25,541 [engine starts] 1663 01:05:29,666 --> 01:05:30,708 [engine revving] 1664 01:05:32,041 --> 01:05:33,000 [Western-like music] 1665 01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:34,375 Wow. 1666 01:05:34,791 --> 01:05:36,416 Where's Neighborhood Watch when you need them? 1667 01:05:37,041 --> 01:05:38,083 [music fades] 1668 01:05:38,458 --> 01:05:40,083 What about this slurp soup? 1669 01:05:40,916 --> 01:05:42,291 Should I have a cup or bowl, you think? 1670 01:05:45,083 --> 01:05:47,291 I might get this baby bird burger. 1671 01:05:49,333 --> 01:05:52,208 - Samuel. What? - Hey. 1672 01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:54,833 Dude, nice hat, man. 1673 01:05:55,041 --> 01:05:57,291 - That traditional garb? - Garb, man? Wha-- 1674 01:05:57,458 --> 01:05:58,708 What are you talking about, man? It's a-- 1675 01:05:58,875 --> 01:06:00,125 It's a tourniquet. 1676 01:06:00,416 --> 01:06:02,791 I got jumped over at the Hacienda Grill, son. 1677 01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:04,541 Twelve versus one. 1678 01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:06,166 I tried to use some of my moves, 1679 01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:07,791 but, man, they had pipes and stuff, man. 1680 01:06:07,958 --> 01:06:08,958 Lesson learned. 1681 01:06:09,125 --> 01:06:10,125 I'm still recovering. 1682 01:06:10,291 --> 01:06:11,583 Sorry to hear-- you look-- 1683 01:06:11,750 --> 01:06:12,875 - you look-- You look good. - You, uh... 1684 01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:13,958 - You look how you look. - Yeah. 1685 01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:15,166 I look good? 1686 01:06:15,333 --> 01:06:16,500 Yeah. [pats] 1687 01:06:17,166 --> 01:06:18,583 - Yeah. - I got my grip back. 1688 01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:19,916 - [chuckles] - [Steef] Oh, yeah. You could... 1689 01:06:20,083 --> 01:06:22,000 - ...tickle anybody. - Yeah, man. 1690 01:06:22,166 --> 01:06:23,416 Sorry to hear about that. I thought that was just 1691 01:06:23,583 --> 01:06:25,083 - at our restaurant. - Yeah. 1692 01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:28,333 Dude, I can't believe you have to get beat up to be a busboy. 1693 01:06:28,708 --> 01:06:32,458 Do you know what, uh, fresh fish means? 1694 01:06:32,625 --> 01:06:33,666 [Western-style music] 1695 01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:38,000 - What are you doing? What-- - [thud] 1696 01:06:38,208 --> 01:06:40,458 [chuckles] Nah... 1697 01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:42,541 It's everywhere near the border. 1698 01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:45,375 Yeah. It's the price we pay to work, 1699 01:06:45,541 --> 01:06:46,875 - and it's worth it. - [Samuel] Yeah. 1700 01:06:47,041 --> 01:06:48,958 I still can't see past seven feet. 1701 01:06:49,208 --> 01:06:50,375 That's not that far, dude. 1702 01:06:50,583 --> 01:06:51,916 Maybe you should take a shift off. 1703 01:06:52,333 --> 01:06:54,666 That's why I might need some outside help. 1704 01:06:55,541 --> 01:06:57,458 I heard you were the boys to talk to. 1705 01:06:58,708 --> 01:06:59,750 Hold up a second. 1706 01:07:00,416 --> 01:07:01,708 - Do not move. - No. 1707 01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:03,125 I need this. 1708 01:07:05,833 --> 01:07:07,458 - Go-- - Are you trying to get us in a threesome? 1709 01:07:07,625 --> 01:07:09,583 No, dude. He's j-- janking out. 1710 01:07:09,750 --> 01:07:11,458 He needs that goddamn Dexatrim. 1711 01:07:12,291 --> 01:07:13,833 Shit. We gotta get out of here. 1712 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,791 I mean, the cops have all our stuff anyway. 1713 01:07:16,625 --> 01:07:17,708 Hey, can we get a check? 1714 01:07:18,083 --> 01:07:19,083 I got your tab. 1715 01:07:19,833 --> 01:07:24,083 Just... remember me when the plug pulls up. 1716 01:07:25,916 --> 01:07:27,500 - That's it. We're Rick-- - Goddamn. We're really 1717 01:07:27,666 --> 01:07:28,833 Scarface and the other guy. 1718 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:30,125 Yeah, Rick Ross. 1719 01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:31,750 - Let's go. - Yeah. 1720 01:07:33,291 --> 01:07:34,333 [rock music] 1721 01:07:36,291 --> 01:07:37,583 - [music fades] - Gracias. 1722 01:07:38,583 --> 01:07:40,416 Thank you, Gregor. Amen. 1723 01:07:40,583 --> 01:07:41,625 Let's put it away. 1724 01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:44,625 I have some bad news, guys and gals. 1725 01:07:44,791 --> 01:07:46,291 I know. Life is bad news. 1726 01:07:46,458 --> 01:07:48,500 But this is the formaldehyde cherry on top 1727 01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:50,000 of the shit sundae. 1728 01:07:50,291 --> 01:07:52,416 You know Rick, the new waiter appointee? 1729 01:07:52,583 --> 01:07:54,625 Yeah. Um, someone said 1730 01:07:54,791 --> 01:07:57,750 that he only got the job because his grandfather was a model, 1731 01:07:57,916 --> 01:08:03,125 and I just want to say that my foremothers weren't even allowed 1732 01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:04,666 to be models. 1733 01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:07,416 No one knows what the hell you're talking about. 1734 01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:09,000 - The first model was a woman, - [contained laughter] 1735 01:08:09,166 --> 01:08:10,625 and most models still are. 1736 01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:12,375 I get waxed. 1737 01:08:12,541 --> 01:08:14,250 That's called jealousy, maybe work harder. 1738 01:08:14,416 --> 01:08:17,333 What I was going to say was that Rick has not shown up 1739 01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:19,708 for three straight shifts. 1740 01:08:20,666 --> 01:08:22,458 So if anybody knows what the hell is going on, 1741 01:08:22,625 --> 01:08:24,583 I'd appreciate you letting me know. 1742 01:08:24,750 --> 01:08:26,958 His family is concerned as well. 1743 01:08:27,333 --> 01:08:30,666 If he were mine, I wouldn't let him out of my sight. 1744 01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,458 But he's not mine, I'm his employer. 1745 01:08:34,958 --> 01:08:37,333 And if he continues to not show up, 1746 01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:39,041 God help us, we're gonna have to promote 1747 01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:40,541 one of you piglets. 1748 01:08:40,708 --> 01:08:42,791 So everybody stay sharp out there. 1749 01:08:43,208 --> 01:08:45,000 - Back to work. - [speaks Spanish] 1750 01:08:45,166 --> 01:08:46,750 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 1751 01:08:46,916 --> 01:08:47,958 [indistinct] 1752 01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,666 So Rick-- Rick is handsome and missing. 1753 01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:55,625 How much attention does one dude need? I mean, it's unreal. 1754 01:08:56,083 --> 01:08:57,625 I'm just saying, it's kinda wild 1755 01:08:57,791 --> 01:09:00,458 how a waiter can not show up. Or he quits, 1756 01:09:00,625 --> 01:09:02,291 they put out a freaking APB. 1757 01:09:02,625 --> 01:09:04,333 Do you think anyone gives a fat fuck if we quit? 1758 01:09:04,500 --> 01:09:05,541 No. 1759 01:09:06,583 --> 01:09:09,375 [sighs] In fact, let's test that. 1760 01:09:10,375 --> 01:09:12,083 - Oh. - I wouldn't. 1761 01:09:12,375 --> 01:09:13,375 I quit! 1762 01:09:13,541 --> 01:09:15,583 [Oscar] Fresh fish! 1763 01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,000 - [Western-style music] - No. 1764 01:09:18,166 --> 01:09:20,208 - No, I was just say-- I was just say-- - [Oscar] Get that titty dick! 1765 01:09:20,625 --> 01:09:22,708 - [Steef grunts] Merk that white boy! - [Markie screams] I'm scared! 1766 01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:24,166 - [overlapping dialogues] - [punches and kicks thudding] 1767 01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:25,875 - [Oscar] You little bitch! - [crunching] 1768 01:09:26,041 --> 01:09:28,125 - [Steef] Tickle that dirty baby! - [Markie] No, no, no! 1769 01:09:28,333 --> 01:09:29,375 [music fades] 1770 01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:31,875 - [June] Okay, hold still. - [Markie groans] 1771 01:09:32,041 --> 01:09:34,458 - Ready? Yeah, it's okay. - [groans] 1772 01:09:34,625 --> 01:09:36,208 - Easy. - [chuckles] 1773 01:09:36,666 --> 01:09:38,916 - You're fine. - Ow... 1774 01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:40,708 - Let's see. - [slow country music] 1775 01:09:41,166 --> 01:09:43,500 - Oof. - I don't think that qualifies 1776 01:09:43,666 --> 01:09:45,833 - for even half the combo. - [both chuckle] 1777 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,500 Yeah... Well, I do appreciate you staying late for me. 1778 01:09:49,666 --> 01:09:52,291 Well, we like to make our customers happy. 1779 01:09:53,375 --> 01:09:54,958 Some of them anyways. 1780 01:09:56,125 --> 01:09:57,583 - [inhales] - [June] Hey, 1781 01:09:58,125 --> 01:10:00,291 where's your weird, old son at anyway? 1782 01:10:00,625 --> 01:10:02,750 [Tim] It's a slow night tonight. We gotta cut somebody. 1783 01:10:02,916 --> 01:10:04,166 Oh, can it be us? 1784 01:10:04,333 --> 01:10:05,916 Nah, we got a whole plumbing issue. 1785 01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:08,166 We need Oscar's little arms to kinda clear the pipes. 1786 01:10:08,333 --> 01:10:09,583 Steef, you're off the clock. 1787 01:10:09,750 --> 01:10:11,583 Yes, sir. I'm gonna go check on Markie. 1788 01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:12,791 [Markie] My son? 1789 01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,583 - Yeah. - Oh, you mean Steef? 1790 01:10:14,916 --> 01:10:16,583 - [chuckles] - Oh, that's my best friend. 1791 01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:18,125 - Yeah, no, no. He's, uh... - Oh... 1792 01:10:18,291 --> 01:10:21,083 No, I've known that guy for years. 1793 01:10:22,208 --> 01:10:23,333 How did the two of y'all meet? 1794 01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:24,916 [music continues] 1795 01:10:29,291 --> 01:10:31,416 Oh, um, actually, 1796 01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:35,416 I kind of rescued him when he got hit by a car. 1797 01:10:36,125 --> 01:10:37,541 So you're a hero then. 1798 01:10:39,250 --> 01:10:40,375 Not exactly. 1799 01:10:40,916 --> 01:10:42,416 [June] Sounds to me like you are. 1800 01:10:43,375 --> 01:10:45,125 Whatever happened to the guy that hit him? 1801 01:10:45,916 --> 01:10:48,875 That's the part that's hard to explain because... 1802 01:10:51,250 --> 01:10:52,458 ...that guy was me. 1803 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:55,083 [music turns melancholic] 1804 01:10:57,500 --> 01:10:58,541 [kids playing in background] 1805 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:01,583 - [young Steef] Screw y'all! - [honking] 1806 01:11:01,750 --> 01:11:02,791 - [thud] - [tires screech] 1807 01:11:03,458 --> 01:11:05,958 Oh, shit. Pull over. 1808 01:11:06,916 --> 01:11:09,041 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 1809 01:11:09,250 --> 01:11:10,708 [kids playing in background] 1810 01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,458 Hey, are you okay? 1811 01:11:13,625 --> 01:11:14,666 What happened? 1812 01:11:15,666 --> 01:11:17,666 - Poison. - I was poisoned? 1813 01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:19,333 No, Poison. The t-shirt. 1814 01:11:20,250 --> 01:11:22,500 Those guys are great. I saw them three times. 1815 01:11:22,666 --> 01:11:23,875 Also, you got hit by a car. 1816 01:11:24,208 --> 01:11:25,250 [barks] 1817 01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:30,541 [groans] 1818 01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:38,208 - [music continues] - Well... 1819 01:11:39,250 --> 01:11:40,458 ...think of it this way. 1820 01:11:42,333 --> 01:11:43,916 Somebody was gonna hit him. 1821 01:11:48,458 --> 01:11:49,583 He's lucky it was you. 1822 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,041 That's nice. 1823 01:12:00,166 --> 01:12:01,208 Thanks. 1824 01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:03,458 [music turns gentle] 1825 01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,208 [cars passing by] 1826 01:12:15,833 --> 01:12:17,875 [in deepened voice] Where's my cock money? 1827 01:12:20,875 --> 01:12:24,833 [in deepened voice] So crow equals Steef's dad. 1828 01:12:25,625 --> 01:12:26,666 Good evening. 1829 01:12:28,666 --> 01:12:30,666 [deepened voice] Whatever happened to the guy that hit him? 1830 01:12:31,125 --> 01:12:32,750 [in deepened voice] That guy was me. 1831 01:12:33,041 --> 01:12:34,750 Somebody was gonna hit him. 1832 01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:39,541 [in deepened voice] Suck it, faggot. 1833 01:12:43,166 --> 01:12:44,375 You like me, huh, buddy? 1834 01:12:44,750 --> 01:12:45,791 [oposum sniffling] 1835 01:12:46,208 --> 01:12:47,791 - [opossum squeaks] - I was a busboy. 1836 01:12:48,125 --> 01:12:49,166 Still am, I guess. 1837 01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:52,541 [opossum chittering] 1838 01:12:57,083 --> 01:12:58,125 [music fades] 1839 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:00,416 That's all... 1840 01:13:01,541 --> 01:13:02,833 Fuck that... 1841 01:13:08,625 --> 01:13:10,250 Murderball, you dropped your vape. 1842 01:13:11,333 --> 01:13:14,958 [speaking Spanish] 1843 01:13:15,166 --> 01:13:16,541 [Steef] Mr. Ball? 1844 01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:18,291 [Murderball speaking Spanish] 1845 01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:21,166 - [Steef] Mr Mur-- Murder? - [Murderball speaking Spanish] 1846 01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:25,250 [dramatic music] 1847 01:13:27,125 --> 01:13:28,166 It's a miracle. 1848 01:13:28,375 --> 01:13:29,791 And I witnessed it. 1849 01:13:32,375 --> 01:13:33,416 Murderball! 1850 01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:40,500 - Wow. This is biblical. - [music fades] 1851 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,375 That was some good standing, brother. 1852 01:13:42,541 --> 01:13:43,833 Yeah, thanks, boy. 1853 01:13:44,208 --> 01:13:45,708 Oh, it took so much out of me. 1854 01:13:46,041 --> 01:13:47,416 Can you help me up on the chair? 1855 01:13:47,583 --> 01:13:48,625 Sure. 1856 01:13:49,291 --> 01:13:51,250 Oh. Oh, God. 1857 01:13:51,416 --> 01:13:52,916 [Steef] You're a miracle, man. 1858 01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:55,458 [Murderball groaning] Thanks. 1859 01:13:55,625 --> 01:13:57,166 Anything for you, man. 1860 01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:58,291 [panting] 1861 01:13:58,458 --> 01:13:59,500 You're a miracle. 1862 01:14:01,375 --> 01:14:02,541 Nobody's gonna believe this. 1863 01:14:03,541 --> 01:14:05,541 You're right. They won't. 1864 01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:07,416 Oh, I'm tired, man. I need to rest. 1865 01:14:07,583 --> 01:14:08,666 Can I touch your legs? 1866 01:14:09,708 --> 01:14:11,458 I wanna touch your magic leg. 1867 01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:14,083 - That's enough. - [Steef] Can I touch your legs, sir? 1868 01:14:15,416 --> 01:14:18,583 - Oh, I like them. So... Look at them legs. - Okay. Yeah. 1869 01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:19,958 [smooches] I like them, boy. 1870 01:14:20,416 --> 01:14:21,958 You like that? Hmm... 1871 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:24,833 Look at these little wizard stems, huh? 1872 01:14:25,458 --> 01:14:27,833 Ooh. He's not home right now. 1873 01:14:28,583 --> 01:14:30,458 You want me to be your little white woman? 1874 01:14:30,833 --> 01:14:35,000 ♪ Amazing legs ♪ 1875 01:14:35,166 --> 01:14:36,666 Okay, okay, okay. That's enough. 1876 01:14:36,833 --> 01:14:38,833 ♪ I like these big dogs ♪ [vocalizing] 1877 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,333 [grunts] Oh, shit. 1878 01:14:40,500 --> 01:14:42,500 - [slaps] Fucking miracle. - [groaning] 1879 01:14:42,666 --> 01:14:43,875 - [smooches] - Fuck, dude. 1880 01:14:44,041 --> 01:14:46,041 - Your legs is making me gay. - [groans] 1881 01:14:46,208 --> 01:14:47,625 All right. Call me if you need me, 1882 01:14:47,791 --> 01:14:49,458 - okay? Congratulations. - Okay. [indistinct] 1883 01:14:49,625 --> 01:14:51,666 - [Steef] Oh, yeah. - [groaning] All right. 1884 01:14:51,833 --> 01:14:53,708 - God is good. [groans] - [Steef] Yeah... 1885 01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:55,208 [door closes] 1886 01:14:55,708 --> 01:14:56,750 [music continues] 1887 01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:00,958 [dialing] 1888 01:15:01,125 --> 01:15:02,125 [line ringing] 1889 01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:04,333 We might have a problem, boys. 1890 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:05,625 I'm all in. 1891 01:15:05,791 --> 01:15:06,541 - I'm gonna just... - [Steef panting] 1892 01:15:06,708 --> 01:15:07,750 Hey, guys. 1893 01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,041 You're never gonna believe it. 1894 01:15:09,416 --> 01:15:10,416 You're a Capricorn. 1895 01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:12,625 No. Murderball walked. 1896 01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:13,833 - [Oscar] What? - [all gasping] 1897 01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:15,333 We gotta jump that communist. 1898 01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:17,208 No. He-- he didn't quit. 1899 01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:20,083 He walked. He walked. Like, on his legs. 1900 01:15:20,250 --> 01:15:21,250 Like a Homo sapien. 1901 01:15:21,416 --> 01:15:22,750 You're full of shit. 1902 01:15:22,958 --> 01:15:24,375 The doctor said he would never walk again. 1903 01:15:24,541 --> 01:15:27,125 Eat ass, Oscar. I seen him walk. 1904 01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:29,500 I'll prove it. I'll get a selfie with him. 1905 01:15:30,916 --> 01:15:32,416 And another thing. 1906 01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:36,083 I found out who hit me with their car when I was just a kid. 1907 01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:37,291 [dramatic music] 1908 01:15:38,250 --> 01:15:39,791 My former best friend... 1909 01:15:42,041 --> 01:15:43,083 ...Markie. 1910 01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:48,541 Not surprising. 1911 01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:51,875 Hey, Murderball. 1912 01:15:53,416 --> 01:15:55,250 I just wanna get a selfie with you, buddy. 1913 01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,875 Just prove to everybody that you're evolving. 1914 01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:04,208 I just want to get a selfie 1915 01:16:04,375 --> 01:16:05,458 while your legs are still working. 1916 01:16:07,875 --> 01:16:08,916 Murderball? 1917 01:16:12,583 --> 01:16:14,166 This is shittier than I thought. 1918 01:16:15,833 --> 01:16:16,875 What? 1919 01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:22,041 [music continues] 1920 01:16:22,208 --> 01:16:23,250 [static] 1921 01:16:23,500 --> 01:16:25,000 [indistinct noises] 1922 01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:34,916 Any luck? 1923 01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:40,041 - [man] Yes. - I'm getting something. 1924 01:16:40,208 --> 01:16:42,500 I would like a number eight, two nachos, 1925 01:16:42,666 --> 01:16:44,458 - and a vanilla cone. - [woman] The ice cream machine 1926 01:16:44,625 --> 01:16:46,125 - is down. - [man] I didn't order 1927 01:16:46,291 --> 01:16:48,000 no ice cream, motherfucker. 1928 01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:49,416 [woman] Bitch, what you want? 1929 01:16:49,708 --> 01:16:51,125 [Steef] Where are you, Murderball? 1930 01:16:52,625 --> 01:16:54,708 [Steef] Yeah... Hey, Murderball. 1931 01:16:56,416 --> 01:16:59,291 I want to see you while your legs are still magic, brother. 1932 01:16:59,958 --> 01:17:00,958 Yeah... 1933 01:17:01,458 --> 01:17:02,500 Murderball. 1934 01:17:02,833 --> 01:17:04,666 - [gun clicks] - [man] Freeze. 1935 01:17:05,375 --> 01:17:07,166 Just here to get a selfie with Murderball. 1936 01:17:07,333 --> 01:17:08,458 [man] You're not here to do shit. 1937 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:10,500 Start walking. 1938 01:17:10,833 --> 01:17:11,875 What? I just-- 1939 01:17:12,083 --> 01:17:13,125 [music continues] 1940 01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:21,125 Wow. This is crazy. 1941 01:17:22,625 --> 01:17:23,833 Is this part of the trailer? 1942 01:17:25,458 --> 01:17:26,708 It reminds me of Pittsburgh. 1943 01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:30,291 Is this a three-bedroom? 1944 01:17:35,791 --> 01:17:36,833 Hey, there's my friend. 1945 01:17:37,958 --> 01:17:39,000 Murderball. 1946 01:17:42,750 --> 01:17:44,250 Great place you got here. 1947 01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:47,625 Yeah... 1948 01:17:48,958 --> 01:17:50,250 I'll fucking kill you. 1949 01:17:50,416 --> 01:17:51,583 What? Me? 1950 01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:52,791 [Murderball] Things have changed. 1951 01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:55,083 Get him out of here! 1952 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,041 Damn it. 1953 01:18:03,250 --> 01:18:04,458 That guy tried to kiss me. 1954 01:18:05,333 --> 01:18:06,375 [music fades lightly] 1955 01:18:11,916 --> 01:18:13,875 Hey, has anybody seen Steef? 1956 01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,583 I've been looking all over the restaurant for him. 1957 01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,416 I don't think he wants to see you 1958 01:18:17,583 --> 01:18:19,375 since he found out you hit him with your car. 1959 01:18:20,750 --> 01:18:22,125 [suspenseful music] 1960 01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:24,791 No, no, no. 1961 01:18:25,500 --> 01:18:28,500 - Shit... - [objects clattering] 1962 01:18:33,416 --> 01:18:34,458 [scoffs] 1963 01:18:37,333 --> 01:18:38,333 [Boyd] Hey, dipshit. 1964 01:18:38,500 --> 01:18:39,541 [door opens] 1965 01:18:44,791 --> 01:18:45,791 [Markie] You guys. 1966 01:18:46,291 --> 01:18:47,291 [sighs] 1967 01:18:47,916 --> 01:18:48,958 Where's Steef? 1968 01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:51,833 [Markie] I don't know. I'm looking for him, too. 1969 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:55,333 We overheard him say something about Murderball on the radio. 1970 01:18:56,875 --> 01:18:57,916 Murderball? 1971 01:18:59,375 --> 01:19:00,708 Well, that guy lives right here. 1972 01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:04,666 Hey, guys. 1973 01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:07,041 Hey, we were supposed to be at work two minutes ago. 1974 01:19:07,208 --> 01:19:08,250 What's going on? 1975 01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:09,791 [knocks lightly] What are you doing? 1976 01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:11,000 A TikTok? 1977 01:19:13,083 --> 01:19:14,125 Hey, guys. 1978 01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:16,416 Hey, guys, come on. 1979 01:19:22,333 --> 01:19:23,375 What? 1980 01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:26,625 Did Murderball fall down this hole? 1981 01:19:26,958 --> 01:19:28,000 [music fades] 1982 01:19:28,875 --> 01:19:29,916 Hello? 1983 01:19:31,458 --> 01:19:32,500 Hello? 1984 01:19:35,291 --> 01:19:36,291 [deep banging] 1985 01:19:36,958 --> 01:19:38,708 I can't believe Markie's the one who hit me. 1986 01:19:40,333 --> 01:19:42,083 Now Murderball's acting weird. 1987 01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:45,541 [electricity buzzing] 1988 01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:47,916 I'm gonna lose two friends in one day. 1989 01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:50,083 [Rick] Shut the fuck up, Steef. 1990 01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:52,041 - [deep, dramatic tone] - [Steef] Rick. 1991 01:19:52,250 --> 01:19:53,250 Help me out of here. 1992 01:19:53,958 --> 01:19:55,500 I'm losing my tan. 1993 01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:56,833 What are you doing here? 1994 01:19:57,208 --> 01:19:58,833 Everybody thought you were on The Bachelor. 1995 01:19:59,083 --> 01:20:00,083 What? 1996 01:20:00,708 --> 01:20:02,041 No, you dumb fuck. 1997 01:20:02,208 --> 01:20:04,041 Hey, listen up, buddy. 1998 01:20:04,625 --> 01:20:06,375 I haven't eaten in half a week. 1999 01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:08,166 I need some protein. 2000 01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:09,791 Get me out of here, please. 2001 01:20:10,583 --> 01:20:12,041 - [clank] - No flirting. 2002 01:20:12,291 --> 01:20:13,333 [dramatic music] 2003 01:20:14,916 --> 01:20:17,708 Oh, my God. There's a strip club down here. 2004 01:20:17,875 --> 01:20:19,916 Oh, shoot. I don't have any ones on me. 2005 01:20:20,083 --> 01:20:21,416 - Hi. - Freeze! 2006 01:20:21,583 --> 01:20:22,958 - Oh... - [thud] 2007 01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:24,625 Oh, God damn. 2008 01:20:25,250 --> 01:20:26,250 [exhales] 2009 01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:29,083 Oh, Steef. 2010 01:20:29,666 --> 01:20:30,916 You're in this dungeon too? 2011 01:20:31,916 --> 01:20:33,208 I was looking for you, man. 2012 01:20:33,375 --> 01:20:34,625 I'm glad you didn't drive here. 2013 01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:36,875 Buddy, uh, let me explain what happened. 2014 01:20:37,041 --> 01:20:38,208 [man 2] Get the fuck up. 2015 01:20:39,208 --> 01:20:40,250 - Get up. - [man] You too, get up. 2016 01:20:40,750 --> 01:20:42,666 Fine... Oh, Rick, you're here too? 2017 01:20:43,291 --> 01:20:44,833 Dude, I texted you on your birthday. 2018 01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:46,166 You never texted me back. 2019 01:20:46,333 --> 01:20:48,083 Well, I was here, you fucking loser. 2020 01:20:48,458 --> 01:20:49,500 It's still rude. 2021 01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:51,041 - Ow. - [man] Come on, let's go. 2022 01:20:51,208 --> 01:20:52,916 - You too. - [Markie] Ow. I'm going. 2023 01:20:54,291 --> 01:20:55,833 Hey, Rick, plug in your phone. 2024 01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:57,916 [music continues] 2025 01:20:58,083 --> 01:20:59,166 Take it easy, Rick. 2026 01:21:00,333 --> 01:21:01,375 - [sizzling] - [sighing] 2027 01:21:01,583 --> 01:21:03,458 Woah... Órale. 2028 01:21:04,416 --> 01:21:07,041 If it isn't Creepy and Sneaky. 2029 01:21:08,125 --> 01:21:10,375 - Dude, he can stand up. - I was gonna tell you. 2030 01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:13,875 You know, I liked you, chicharrones... 2031 01:21:14,958 --> 01:21:18,500 ...until this one called me Pollopolio. 2032 01:21:18,666 --> 01:21:20,041 [Markie] Are we still talking about this? 2033 01:21:20,416 --> 01:21:21,750 That's just a play on words. 2034 01:21:21,916 --> 01:21:23,458 And then this one tried to kiss me. 2035 01:21:24,166 --> 01:21:25,875 It's just a play on lips. 2036 01:21:26,166 --> 01:21:29,625 You know... I would like to let you guys go. 2037 01:21:29,791 --> 01:21:30,833 We accept. 2038 01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:33,583 [Murderball] But... I can't. 2039 01:21:33,958 --> 01:21:35,791 You can't unsee what you've already seen. 2040 01:21:35,958 --> 01:21:37,916 Yeah, the eyes have good memories. 2041 01:21:38,375 --> 01:21:39,458 They're like... 2042 01:21:39,625 --> 01:21:42,833 the brains of the face. 2043 01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:46,583 - [guns clicking] - [speaking Spanish] 2044 01:21:47,125 --> 01:21:48,125 - What is that? - What? 2045 01:21:48,541 --> 01:21:49,583 Bitches. 2046 01:21:49,750 --> 01:21:50,750 [Markie] No, the first part. 2047 01:21:50,916 --> 01:21:52,333 [stutters] Last words. 2048 01:21:52,500 --> 01:21:53,541 [Steef] Actually, yeah. 2049 01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:57,083 I knew if this time ever came, I wanted to... 2050 01:21:59,625 --> 01:22:02,666 ...put on this bandana that my dad gave me... 2051 01:22:03,333 --> 01:22:04,750 ...when I was just a kid. 2052 01:22:05,083 --> 01:22:06,125 [slow music] 2053 01:22:06,708 --> 01:22:08,708 Before he went away to prison... 2054 01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:11,291 ...he used to take me to this vape shop. 2055 01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:14,458 It was really cool. Carcinogens, it was called, and 2056 01:22:14,708 --> 01:22:15,916 it was two stories. 2057 01:22:17,333 --> 01:22:19,291 And he let me smoke all the youth vapes. 2058 01:22:21,791 --> 01:22:25,291 And I was even part of the Carcinogens Kids Club for a bit. 2059 01:22:26,166 --> 01:22:27,291 [sighs] 2060 01:22:27,750 --> 01:22:30,000 And he gave me this bandana before he left. 2061 01:22:32,833 --> 01:22:34,000 So I'm gonna wear it. 2062 01:22:36,041 --> 01:22:37,333 So when I go to heaven... 2063 01:22:39,791 --> 01:22:41,000 ...he'll be able to find me. 2064 01:22:45,416 --> 01:22:46,458 [music fades] 2065 01:22:46,916 --> 01:22:47,958 [light chuckle] 2066 01:22:49,041 --> 01:22:50,083 [speaks Spanish] 2067 01:22:50,750 --> 01:22:52,208 - Mine's for Steef. - [slow music] 2068 01:22:53,083 --> 01:22:56,000 I just want to tell you... [sighs] 2069 01:22:56,750 --> 01:22:58,708 ...when I took that dog out that day... 2070 01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,708 ...it was his last lap and 2071 01:23:02,875 --> 01:23:04,333 I-- I was supposed to do whatever he wanted 2072 01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:06,458 and he wanted to try to drive the car. 2073 01:23:07,458 --> 01:23:08,666 And I knew it was stupid. 2074 01:23:08,833 --> 01:23:10,208 I knew he was gonna be bad at it. 2075 01:23:10,375 --> 01:23:12,250 And he was so bad and he couldn't drive at all. 2076 01:23:12,416 --> 01:23:13,625 And he hit you. 2077 01:23:13,833 --> 01:23:15,458 I didn't know what to do. I got scared. 2078 01:23:16,541 --> 01:23:18,375 I'm so sorry that happened. 2079 01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:20,583 But you're my best friend in the world... 2080 01:23:21,916 --> 01:23:24,833 ...and I can't die knowing that you're mad at me. 2081 01:23:29,916 --> 01:23:30,958 I forgive you, man. 2082 01:23:33,625 --> 01:23:35,958 [Murderball] Bro, don't make this shit so gay, fellas. 2083 01:23:36,125 --> 01:23:37,125 Shoot us. 2084 01:23:37,750 --> 01:23:38,791 Time to die... 2085 01:23:39,791 --> 01:23:40,833 Pollo... 2086 01:23:41,375 --> 01:23:42,416 ...polio. 2087 01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:43,916 [guns clicking] 2088 01:23:44,541 --> 01:23:45,541 [gunshot] 2089 01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:47,291 - [groaning] - [intense music] 2090 01:23:49,250 --> 01:23:50,958 - [Markie exhales] - [Murderball groaning] 2091 01:23:51,916 --> 01:23:53,750 This feels just like when we were alive. 2092 01:23:53,958 --> 01:23:55,083 [groaning] 2093 01:24:00,083 --> 01:24:01,750 [Markie] Oh, my God, it's Padre Noche. 2094 01:24:04,583 --> 01:24:07,208 - Every Sunday... - [Murderball groaning] 2095 01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:09,791 ...I took you to that store... 2096 01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,916 ...and you tried all the new flavors, 2097 01:24:13,541 --> 01:24:15,916 and then you vomited all the way home. 2098 01:24:16,083 --> 01:24:17,166 [suspenseful music] 2099 01:24:17,833 --> 01:24:21,083 I didn't care and you didn't care either. 2100 01:24:23,041 --> 01:24:25,166 I gave you that on your fifth birthday. 2101 01:24:26,166 --> 01:24:27,708 Holy shit. 2102 01:24:29,458 --> 01:24:30,500 Dad? 2103 01:24:30,750 --> 01:24:31,791 [music turns hopeful] 2104 01:24:33,541 --> 01:24:35,500 Steef! [chuckles] 2105 01:24:35,708 --> 01:24:37,208 [Steef] Dad! 2106 01:24:37,791 --> 01:24:39,375 Oh... [chuckles] 2107 01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:42,958 I thought you were in jail. 2108 01:24:43,375 --> 01:24:44,416 [sighs] 2109 01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:45,791 No, I escaped, and 2110 01:24:45,958 --> 01:24:48,208 within a month I was out and I... 2111 01:24:49,125 --> 01:24:50,875 [stutters] 2112 01:24:51,250 --> 01:24:52,958 I wanted to see you. I wanted to look you up. 2113 01:24:53,125 --> 01:24:54,208 I wanted to know you. 2114 01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,583 But I thought, man, I'd be a bad influence on you. 2115 01:24:58,000 --> 01:25:01,833 I went and visited you every week for nine years. 2116 01:25:02,250 --> 01:25:03,375 They said you were busy 2117 01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:06,291 and you'd escaped after one month? 2118 01:25:06,875 --> 01:25:07,916 [Padre Noche] Embarrassing. 2119 01:25:08,583 --> 01:25:10,208 I always thought I could 2120 01:25:10,500 --> 01:25:13,083 get out of this life and get into yours. 2121 01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:15,166 I can't believe it's you! 2122 01:25:15,333 --> 01:25:17,333 - [Steef] Dad! Oh... - [chuckling] 2123 01:25:17,500 --> 01:25:19,541 [Padre Noche] I've thought about you every day. 2124 01:25:20,375 --> 01:25:22,125 [breathing irregularly] 2125 01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:24,666 - [gunshot] - [groaning] 2126 01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:26,208 - What happened, Dad? - [Padre Noche] Did I get shot? 2127 01:25:26,791 --> 01:25:28,125 Did I get shot? 2128 01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,000 - [Steef] Dad, sit down, Dad. - Oh, shit... 2129 01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:31,875 - [thud] - [groaning] 2130 01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:34,791 - [Steef] Sit down. Sit down. - Who the fuck shot me? 2131 01:25:35,041 --> 01:25:36,708 - [groaning] - [dramatic music] 2132 01:25:37,208 --> 01:25:38,333 It's gonna be okay, Dad. 2133 01:25:39,333 --> 01:25:40,583 You know what I wish? 2134 01:25:41,208 --> 01:25:42,250 What, Dad? 2135 01:25:43,708 --> 01:25:45,833 I wish I could've been there for you... 2136 01:25:50,375 --> 01:25:51,625 You're here for me now, Dad. 2137 01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:54,625 It's okay. 2138 01:25:58,083 --> 01:25:59,666 - He's right. - [door slams open] 2139 01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:01,666 [Boyd] Freeze! FBI! 2140 01:26:01,833 --> 01:26:03,083 Hands up! Get on the fucking ground! 2141 01:26:03,250 --> 01:26:04,458 You're all under arrest! 2142 01:26:04,625 --> 01:26:06,125 Oh, my God. 2143 01:26:06,291 --> 01:26:08,750 So, you boys were in on this the whole time? 2144 01:26:08,916 --> 01:26:10,625 - We didn't know a thing. - No... 2145 01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:12,958 - Get that ass open! - Department of Homeland Security, 2146 01:26:13,125 --> 01:26:15,000 - on the ground! - [upbeat music] 2147 01:26:15,166 --> 01:26:18,750 - [overlapping dialogues] - Department of Transportation! 2148 01:26:18,916 --> 01:26:21,083 - We know! - Hey, you guys are here, too? 2149 01:26:21,250 --> 01:26:22,333 We're in a group chat. 2150 01:26:22,541 --> 01:26:23,625 Is there an afters? 2151 01:26:23,833 --> 01:26:25,000 You know, I don't know. 2152 01:26:25,500 --> 01:26:26,875 - There's something. - There's something. 2153 01:26:27,041 --> 01:26:29,333 - [guns clicking] - [overlapping dialogues] 2154 01:26:29,541 --> 01:26:31,500 Hey, that is crazy about your dad. 2155 01:26:31,708 --> 01:26:33,291 - I know. My dad's back. - I love it. 2156 01:26:33,458 --> 01:26:35,000 That's so cool. I'm happy for you, man. 2157 01:26:35,166 --> 01:26:37,291 Thanks, man. I-- I'm happy for me, too. 2158 01:26:37,458 --> 01:26:38,791 He remembered your thing and everything. 2159 01:26:38,958 --> 01:26:40,708 - Yeah, he gave it to me. - [Markie chuckles] 2160 01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:43,625 Oh, check out Murderball. Can you believe the dude can walk? 2161 01:26:43,791 --> 01:26:46,000 Yeah, he can walk. [stuttering] He's like a baby. 2162 01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:48,083 I couldn't believe it, then they shot him. 2163 01:26:48,250 --> 01:26:49,833 - [groans] Yeah. - I'm just kidding, man. Walked for a little bit. 2164 01:26:50,000 --> 01:26:51,333 - Dangerous time for babies. - [Markie] Yeah. 2165 01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:53,708 Silence! 2166 01:26:56,166 --> 01:26:57,708 Anyone have eyes on Padre Noche? 2167 01:26:58,166 --> 01:26:59,500 [Tally] He got away from me. 2168 01:26:59,791 --> 01:27:01,125 [agent] Well, let's go after him. 2169 01:27:01,291 --> 01:27:02,375 It's 105 degrees outside. 2170 01:27:02,541 --> 01:27:04,166 - He's all yours. - Oh, hell no. 2171 01:27:04,333 --> 01:27:07,583 - [overlapping dialogues] - It's 105 degrees! 2172 01:27:07,750 --> 01:27:10,500 - [overlapping dialogues] - I am hot! 2173 01:27:11,583 --> 01:27:12,875 Bosses! 2174 01:27:13,041 --> 01:27:15,875 - We got Murderball. Okay? - [guns clicking] 2175 01:27:16,041 --> 01:27:18,208 And that's a big piece of the puzzle. 2176 01:27:18,375 --> 01:27:19,500 Right there. 2177 01:27:19,875 --> 01:27:21,666 I've been shot! 2178 01:27:22,125 --> 01:27:23,791 [cries] I need an ambulance! 2179 01:27:23,958 --> 01:27:25,000 [agent 2] We need a paramedic. 2180 01:27:25,333 --> 01:27:26,458 [country music] 2181 01:27:26,625 --> 01:27:27,666 [sighs] 2182 01:27:32,083 --> 01:27:33,125 Later. 2183 01:27:35,458 --> 01:27:37,333 Attention, busboys and girls. 2184 01:27:37,666 --> 01:27:40,458 Today is a unique day in the history of our establishment. 2185 01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:43,208 The heroic efforts of some members of our staff 2186 01:27:43,375 --> 01:27:45,791 to keep drug trafficking out of our restaurant, 2187 01:27:46,166 --> 01:27:48,500 which will no doubt impact some of our performance, 2188 01:27:48,666 --> 01:27:50,000 have been monumental. 2189 01:27:50,583 --> 01:27:53,500 And as a thank you, I would like to present 2190 01:27:53,666 --> 01:27:56,291 two pure, pewter 2191 01:27:56,458 --> 01:27:59,125 - bus tubs to Steef Barn - [gasping] 2192 01:27:59,291 --> 01:28:00,375 and Markie Montgomery. 2193 01:28:00,541 --> 01:28:02,166 [gasping and clapping] 2194 01:28:02,375 --> 01:28:03,833 [clapping and whooping] 2195 01:28:04,833 --> 01:28:06,833 - Oh, my gosh. - [April chuckles] 2196 01:28:08,250 --> 01:28:09,625 - [cheering] - Markie! 2197 01:28:09,791 --> 01:28:11,250 Dude. What? 2198 01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:12,458 Look at that. 2199 01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:16,750 Whoa, are these real pewter? 2200 01:28:16,916 --> 01:28:20,500 And, due to Rick's absence, and to take advantage of some of the 2201 01:28:20,666 --> 01:28:22,833 media buzz surrounding the drug bust, 2202 01:28:23,208 --> 01:28:25,833 I would like to announce we are gonna bring 2203 01:28:26,083 --> 01:28:30,041 one of you leperous scuzzwranglers up to the rank 2204 01:28:30,208 --> 01:28:31,250 of waiter. 2205 01:28:31,791 --> 01:28:33,375 - [Gregor] I hope it's me. - [gasping] 2206 01:28:33,791 --> 01:28:36,541 Against my better judgment, I would like to announce 2207 01:28:36,708 --> 01:28:39,541 the newest waiter at the Border Bistro... 2208 01:28:41,541 --> 01:28:42,958 Markie, come up and get this jacket. 2209 01:28:43,208 --> 01:28:45,541 - Me? Me? - [clapping] 2210 01:28:45,833 --> 01:28:47,958 - Oh, my God. - Yay, congrats. 2211 01:28:49,291 --> 01:28:50,666 - Speech! - [Markie] What? 2212 01:28:50,833 --> 01:28:53,333 - Speech! Speech! - [chuckling and clapping] 2213 01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:55,166 - [gentle music] - [light chuckling] 2214 01:28:55,333 --> 01:28:58,166 Thank you, Manager Tim. [whoops] 2215 01:28:59,416 --> 01:29:00,875 Thank you, America. 2216 01:29:01,458 --> 01:29:04,500 Well, seven months ago... 2217 01:29:05,125 --> 01:29:06,916 ...I knew that if I became a waiter, 2218 01:29:07,333 --> 01:29:09,333 I would get everything I wanted in life. 2219 01:29:11,333 --> 01:29:13,541 The image, the girl, 2220 01:29:14,583 --> 01:29:16,791 the money, the future. 2221 01:29:17,791 --> 01:29:18,958 But I was actually wrong. 2222 01:29:20,416 --> 01:29:21,666 I already have all that stuff. 2223 01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:24,250 I got everything I always wanted. 2224 01:29:25,875 --> 01:29:26,958 I got a friend. 2225 01:29:29,375 --> 01:29:32,375 So, thank you, but I'm gonna pass on this promotion. 2226 01:29:33,750 --> 01:29:37,541 And I'm going to stay right here next to my buddy. 2227 01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:40,041 Busboys for life. 2228 01:29:40,750 --> 01:29:41,833 Busboys for life. 2229 01:29:42,791 --> 01:29:45,125 But I have a question, Manager Tim, uh... 2230 01:29:46,208 --> 01:29:48,916 Are these waiter promotions at all transferable? 2231 01:29:49,125 --> 01:29:50,791 [Tim] Depends on who you give it to. 2232 01:29:51,375 --> 01:29:53,125 I was thinking of giving it to the hardest working person 2233 01:29:53,291 --> 01:29:54,958 in the building, ah... 2234 01:29:55,625 --> 01:29:58,583 Day in, day out, they break their back to provide... 2235 01:29:59,625 --> 01:30:01,500 ...a really nice life for their family. 2236 01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:05,166 Ginger would be a great 2237 01:30:05,333 --> 01:30:06,625 - waitress. - [mouthing] What? 2238 01:30:06,791 --> 01:30:08,000 - Yes, she would. Approved. - [clapping] 2239 01:30:08,500 --> 01:30:10,166 - [gasping] What? - [clapping] 2240 01:30:10,791 --> 01:30:11,833 Thank you. 2241 01:30:12,083 --> 01:30:13,708 Thank you so much. 2242 01:30:14,291 --> 01:30:15,791 - Ginger. - [Ginger] Thank you. 2243 01:30:15,958 --> 01:30:17,750 - [Steef] Yes! Ginger. - [Ginger] Thank you. 2244 01:30:19,541 --> 01:30:21,041 - Ginger! - Now that she's a waitress, 2245 01:30:21,208 --> 01:30:23,208 I have to go back to school, you piece of shit. 2246 01:30:23,875 --> 01:30:25,666 - Markie. - Oh, you're welcome. 2247 01:30:26,083 --> 01:30:28,583 So, wait, you're a busboy again? 2248 01:30:29,333 --> 01:30:30,458 You're damn right I am. 2249 01:30:31,125 --> 01:30:34,833 Um, fresh fish! 2250 01:30:35,125 --> 01:30:38,375 - No, no, no. No, no. - [Steef grunts] Teach that quitter a lesson! 2251 01:30:38,541 --> 01:30:40,250 [Western-style music] 2252 01:30:40,541 --> 01:30:42,833 - [thudding] - [grunting] 2253 01:30:51,208 --> 01:30:52,250 [music fades] 2254 01:30:58,583 --> 01:30:59,708 Well, I guess this is it. 2255 01:31:04,416 --> 01:31:05,458 Come here, man. 2256 01:31:07,250 --> 01:31:08,291 [light chuckle] 2257 01:31:10,625 --> 01:31:11,875 - Wait. - Are you going this way? 2258 01:31:12,041 --> 01:31:14,041 - Are you going this way, too? - Yeah. 2259 01:31:14,208 --> 01:31:15,750 - Why'd you say this is it? - [Markie] I don't know. 2260 01:31:15,916 --> 01:31:17,500 I just thought-- I thought we might be walking... 2261 01:31:17,666 --> 01:31:18,666 Eh, that's fine. 2262 01:31:18,833 --> 01:31:20,083 Oh, I was gonna tell you, dude. 2263 01:31:20,250 --> 01:31:22,458 - Your dad is yoked, dude. - [Steef] Yeah. 2264 01:31:22,625 --> 01:31:23,916 It means I'm gonna be jacked as well 2265 01:31:24,083 --> 01:31:25,625 - when I grow up. - Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. 2266 01:31:25,791 --> 01:31:27,416 - It's in the bloodstream. - I know, man. 2267 01:31:27,583 --> 01:31:28,708 Pump, pump. 2268 01:31:28,875 --> 01:31:30,750 - [Markie chuckles] - [both grunting] 2269 01:31:31,041 --> 01:31:32,625 Yeah, I'm excited about that. 2270 01:31:32,791 --> 01:31:34,250 And now that I got my dad back, 2271 01:31:34,416 --> 01:31:36,250 I think I'm gonna back off that surgery for my mom. 2272 01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:37,875 Oh. 2273 01:31:38,375 --> 01:31:39,583 I think that's good. 2274 01:31:39,791 --> 01:31:41,083 You should do something for you. 2275 01:31:41,291 --> 01:31:42,666 I think I'm gonna go back to high school. 2276 01:31:42,875 --> 01:31:44,500 - Really? - [Steef] Yeah. I used to hate it, 2277 01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:46,416 but once we did it undercover, 2278 01:31:46,666 --> 01:31:47,750 I kind of dug it. 2279 01:31:47,916 --> 01:31:48,958 It gets easier. 2280 01:31:49,291 --> 01:31:50,750 And plus, I never finished, so 2281 01:31:50,916 --> 01:31:52,250 I only have about 38 hours left. 2282 01:31:52,500 --> 01:31:54,000 Well, I think that's cool. 2283 01:31:54,291 --> 01:31:57,166 And if you ever need a tutor, I'd-- I'd want to help. 2284 01:31:57,541 --> 01:31:58,583 [upbeat music] 2285 01:32:00,541 --> 01:32:01,583 Let's go in. 2286 01:32:02,041 --> 01:32:03,666 [Steef] Let's make some toast! 2287 01:32:14,500 --> 01:32:15,541 [honking] 2288 01:32:32,375 --> 01:32:34,083 - [music fades] - [bubbling] 2289 01:32:35,250 --> 01:32:36,458 What's taking so long? 2290 01:32:36,625 --> 01:32:38,083 You've been in there for, like, two hours. 2291 01:32:38,250 --> 01:32:39,583 Yeah, I can't do this. 2292 01:32:40,125 --> 01:32:41,750 I don't even know what I'm looking for down here. 2293 01:32:42,125 --> 01:32:43,166 Jesus. 2294 01:32:45,791 --> 01:32:46,833 Look... 2295 01:32:47,541 --> 01:32:49,000 ...I'm just a waiter, okay? 2296 01:32:49,916 --> 01:32:51,750 I don't even know how to really do anything else. 2297 01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:53,375 [exhales] 2298 01:32:53,875 --> 01:32:54,916 - [sizzling] - [screaming] 2299 01:32:55,958 --> 01:32:57,000 [groaning] 2300 01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,375 Fucking hot plate. 2301 01:32:59,666 --> 01:33:00,708 [hip-hop music] 2302 01:33:57,083 --> 01:33:59,250 [music fades] 2303 01:34:00,833 --> 01:34:02,708 [chill music] 2304 01:36:50,083 --> 01:36:51,666 [music ends]