1
00:00:00,559 --> 00:00:04,480
Look, I already said I was sorry,
pal. So take it or leave it.

2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,680
Either way, I think we
should probably check if you
still have toes.

3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,720
(music plays quietly)

4
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,959
Break something in my flat.

5
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,440
What?

6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,000
No.
Seriously.

7
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,720
Break anything here
and then we'll quits.

8
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,000
Pff... Fine.

9
00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:23,519
All right, why do you, wa-
Go on.

10
00:00:23,559 --> 00:00:24,720
Fine.
Anything.

11
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,879
I'll smash something here.
Go on.

12
00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:28,319
Yeah, I'm going to...

13
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:37,480
♪♪

14
00:00:37,519 --> 00:00:38,519
Do it.

15
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,199
I'm actually gonna do it.

16
00:00:41,239 --> 00:00:43,839
Yeah? Seriously,
I'm gonna smash it. Okay.

17
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,480
You ha-

18
00:00:49,519 --> 00:00:50,599
Go on.

19
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,919
(grunting) I can't do it.

20
00:00:55,959 --> 00:00:58,440
The teapot from Beauty and the
Beast was my first crush.

21
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,120
Wait, wait, Mrs Potts?
Yeah.

22
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,279
Okay, that would never work.

23
00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:04,160
You'd smash her five
minutes into the first date.

24
00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:05,800
You think she'd put out
on the first date?

25
00:01:05,839 --> 00:01:09,000
No, I mean, you're clumsy as fuck.
Yeah. Okay.

26
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,120
Probably knock her over
filling up her wine glass.

27
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,000
Then I'd rebuild her.

28
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,639
Bride a Frankenstein job.

29
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,279
Glue her together from memory.

30
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,120
A spout with a handle used to be.

31
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:24,000
Aw, Mam, I've met someone.
She's my most perfect creation.

32
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,480
Oh, look, my weird one was I had
this wallpaper by my bed,

33
00:01:27,519 --> 00:01:31,319
and right by my pillow,
there was this boy fox.

34
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,040
He had a little yellow jumper

35
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,199
and a tuft of hair
to show that he was a boy.

36
00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:37,959
And I was in love with him.

37
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000
You loved him?
No, I loved him.

38
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,959
He was the love of my life.

39
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,360
Basically, I think it was
the first day of sixth class,

40
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,680
I came home and my parents had

41
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,519
stripped the wallpaper
and painted my room as a surprise.

42
00:01:50,559 --> 00:01:53,639
No. Yes!
I cried for like a whole week.

43
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,599
It was so sad.

44
00:01:55,639 --> 00:01:59,800
(inhales) I've actually
never told anyone... before.

45
00:02:03,239 --> 00:02:05,599
(exhales)
Was...

46
00:02:05,639 --> 00:02:06,839
this him?

47
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,239
Oh, my God.
My fox.

48
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,199
My boy.
How did you find him?

49
00:02:12,239 --> 00:02:15,199
So, yeah, this is genuinely
the only thing I'm good doing.

50
00:02:15,239 --> 00:02:16,919
That's not true.

51
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,080
And like, give me your number,
and I'll send it to you.

52
00:02:25,839 --> 00:02:27,879
Okay.
Yeah, fine.

53
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,599
(phone pings) Oh.

54
00:02:32,559 --> 00:02:35,120
Ehh...
Hey, man, just thinking there.

55
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,480
They should change the name
of newspaper headlines

56
00:02:37,519 --> 00:02:38,800
to newspaper headlies.

57
00:02:38,839 --> 00:02:41,239
They're lying to us.
Wake up.

58
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,000
All right, I should go then.

59
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,239
Okay.

60
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,000
(pot clatters)

61
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,199
I guess we're quits now.

62
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,800
♪ I hide my shit in the closet...♪

63
00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:12,599
I'll save you the time, perv.

64
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,480
9 centimetres, flaccid.

65
00:03:14,559 --> 00:03:16,919
Maybe 11 this time of day.

66
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,800
Maybe.
162 centimetres.

67
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,959
Hey, how's your foot?

68
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,400
Yeah, I think you're right.
It's just bruised.

69
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,080
The plushy doggy head
took most of the damage.

70
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,480
How's the company going?
Ehh...

71
00:03:31,839 --> 00:03:33,000
Yeah, solid gold.

72
00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:34,959
What are you doing in my room?

73
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,879
Do you know the way it's
been feeling a bit cramped
in here lately?

74
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,839
Jack's here too much, all right?

75
00:03:40,879 --> 00:03:43,720
Well, it's going to get a whole lot
smaller when the little one arrives.

76
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,360
What are you- No.
(phone ringing)

77
00:03:47,199 --> 00:03:48,959
Sorry, yeah, I know.

78
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,440
Hello. Oh my God!
You're pregnant!

79
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,639
Yeah. Oh! Yeah! Oh.

80
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,160
We're going to wait to tell you
until after the baby, but I mean...

81
00:03:58,199 --> 00:03:59,919
Sorry.
(PHONE) Hey, can you hear me?

82
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:01,239
Hey, are you there or not?

83
00:04:01,279 --> 00:04:03,120
Yeah, I'm here.
4837.

84
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,800
Anyway, I was like,
you're cancelling the gig?

85
00:04:04,839 --> 00:04:06,279
And he says, no,
I've been cancelled.

86
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:09,400
Apparently, he was putting
on the accent the whole time.

87
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,919
So with the laughing Pakistani gone,
I need you to do 40 minutes
instead of 15.

88
00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:16,639
So it'll be banter builder,
then you.

89
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,319
Talk later, slack. (laughing)

90
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,000
(groaning) You guys
gotta do that later. I got to
write right now, okay?

91
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,360
Don't you have a psychiatrist
appointment in 20 minutes?

92
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,400
Fuck!

93
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,599
Christ.

94
00:04:29,199 --> 00:04:30,760
It's 406 centimetres.

95
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,720
(clock ticks)

96
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,319
(exhales heavy)

97
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,199
Sorry.

98
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,800
Monkey.
No.

99
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,599
So I'm going to keep this brief.

100
00:04:55,639 --> 00:04:57,199
I had a look through
your questionnaire,

101
00:04:57,239 --> 00:05:00,199
and I think I can safely say
without a shadow of a doubt

102
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:01,800
that you

103
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,400
don't have ADHD.

104
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,480
Now, I understand you
have concerns and

105
00:05:08,519 --> 00:05:10,559
face difficulties, but...

106
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,000
I mean, so does everybody.

107
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:19,199
And your behaviour regarding
managing time or maintaining focus

108
00:05:19,239 --> 00:05:22,559
likely stems from where
you place your value.

109
00:05:22,599 --> 00:05:23,839
Okay?

110
00:05:23,879 --> 00:05:26,639
I mean, there's nothing
wrong with somebody who wants
to spend all morning

111
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,839
frittering away their time on the
phone, doomscrolling TikTok

112
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:31,919
while sitting on the toilet
until your legs go numb.

113
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:34,959
But I mean, I can't then
give you a medical excuse

114
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,040
as to why you missed the bus.

115
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,360
Okay?

116
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,599
I mean, we all do things
that don't interest us.

117
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:45,279
That's just life, unfortunately.

118
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,400
Okay.

119
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,919
Well, thank you for that, Richard.

120
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,720
We won't keep you.

121
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:59,239
Have you tried going for long walks
or maybe getting a calendar app?

122
00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,879
Or maybe just try not being such
a fucking loser all the time?

123
00:06:02,919 --> 00:06:04,879
♪ (electronic music)

124
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,839
There he is.
How's it going? Hey, man.

125
00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:17,919
Great to finally meet the
slag that squirted all those
punters in the door.

126
00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:19,319
Aw-haw... Rotten.

127
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,360
So look, I've decided that tonight,
it's just yourself.

128
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,720
You're headlining.
What?

129
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,559
Why? Mate, listen.
(muffled cheers)

130
00:06:28,599 --> 00:06:32,559
They're all here to see you.
I've never seen anything like it.

131
00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:34,559
That's why.

132
00:06:34,599 --> 00:06:37,000
Also, the banter builders
after getting cancelled.

133
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,760
Something about a
bichon frisé fighting ring.

134
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,160
To be honest with you, I'm not even
sure he's a licenced tradesman.

135
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,120
Headlining?
I've to go.

136
00:06:45,599 --> 00:06:46,599
Okay.

137
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:52,199
I got this.

138
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:53,639
Okay.

139
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,120
HA! Okay.

140
00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:56,319
I got this.

141
00:06:58,639 --> 00:07:01,279
(low thudding)
CROWD: Whoaaaaaaa!

142
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,080
Waa-ha-ha-hoo!

143
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,080
(crowd screaming)
Yeah!

144
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:14,080
Well, thank you so much for coming
out to the Woke Shop tonight.

145
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,080
CROWD: Yeaaaah!

146
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,959
(grunting yell)

147
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,519
The only place where you
can't say anything wrong.

148
00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:25,879
(crowd shout and clap)

149
00:07:25,919 --> 00:07:30,120
OHHH! What else,
what else is going on?

150
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,599
(shallow breathing)
I got myself one of those

151
00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:36,400
real dolls in the sex shop.

152
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,400
(crowd cheer)
Oh and fellas,

153
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,360
I think I'm in love.
(crowd cheer)

154
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,480
Whoa! Real wife material,
you know what I mean?

155
00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:49,319
(rowdy cheers)
Amazing body.

156
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,839
Great ass.
CROWD: Yeah!

157
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:55,040
(exhales) But best of all lads,
get close...

158
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,160
Get close...
(shallow breathing)

159
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,480
No voice. HA!

160
00:08:00,519 --> 00:08:02,800
(rowdy cheering and shouting)

161
00:08:02,839 --> 00:08:06,319
Yeah-haaaaaa!

162
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:11,639
Oh! I'm only Joe Kane. Wooo!
(crowd cheer)

163
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,400
(growling) Lads, are yous ready for
your first act of the night?

164
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,440
CROWD: Yeah!

165
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:21,160
Oh, making his Woke Shop debut,
please give a warm welcome

166
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,480
to the English Mammy.

167
00:08:23,519 --> 00:08:26,080
(rowdy cheers)

168
00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:28,839
Just go with it.

169
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,919
(cheering and applause continue)

170
00:08:42,959 --> 00:08:45,199
(audience settle)

171
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,680
(mic feedback)

172
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,480
(accent) Whooo...
(crowd cheer)

173
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:04,360
Who left the bloody immersion on?
(rowdy cheers)

174
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:10,239
Well, don't make me get
that wooden spoon.

175
00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:12,440
CROWD: Ooohhh. (cheering)

176
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,800
Wanking is mad, isn't it?

177
00:09:14,839 --> 00:09:18,800
CROWD: YEAAAH!
(laughter and cheering)

178
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,919
Here we go.
Last one.

179
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,959
Oh. What's it going to be?

180
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,720
Is this one plain or spicy?

181
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,120
CROWD: Spicy, it's spicy!

182
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,040
That's right, it's spicy.

183
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,879
(crowd 'woo')

184
00:09:41,919 --> 00:09:43,559
CROWD: Yeah! (clapping)

185
00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,559
If that one seemed spicy for you,

186
00:09:45,599 --> 00:09:48,360
I've got something might
sell your stomach.

187
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,919
(rowdy cheering)

188
00:09:49,959 --> 00:09:54,879
♪ I am gettin' so hot,
I wanna take my clothes off...♪

189
00:09:54,919 --> 00:09:57,080
Flat 7Up.

190
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,040
(crowd yell and cheer)

191
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,680
(cheering)

192
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:13,279
Slán abhaile, you slags.

193
00:10:13,319 --> 00:10:16,800
CROWD: (chanting) Mammy! Mammy!
Mammy! Mammy! Mammy!

194
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,279
Thank you so much. Thanks, guys.

195
00:10:21,319 --> 00:10:23,400
(chanting continues)

196
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,120
(laughing) Thank you.

197
00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:36,879
You fucking killed it.
Oh, Joe, man. Thank you so much.

198
00:10:36,919 --> 00:10:40,040
I really appreciate. All
that dirty old bitch stuff.

199
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:45,440
Mate... So fucking trash.
No, no, man. It's satire.

200
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,680
It's the anti-broad comedy like
Mrs. Brown's- Whatever.

201
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:55,239
Mate. I've never seen
'em laugh like that.

202
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,360
Doing Gangbusters on
the live stream too. No.

203
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,760
Oh, God. Oh, God.

204
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,279
(maniacal laugh) Oh, he's made it.

205
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:06,599
Keep doing that geriatric slut shit,
and we are going to make millions.

206
00:11:06,639 --> 00:11:09,800
Ohh... I have to go.

207
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,559
There he is.
Hey.

208
00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:13,760
Hey.
Man, they loved it.

209
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,800
What did you guys think?

210
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,559
I didn't know that's what
you thought was funny.

211
00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:22,120
It's satire.
I don't know, dude.

212
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,360
What did you think, Rebecca?

213
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,400
That was awful. Oh.

214
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,319
You're not who I thought you were.

215
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,879
You're not funny,
and you're a bad person.

216
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,919
♪ (tense music)

217
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,400
I hate you.

218
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,239
And your arse is on backwards.

219
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,919
(screaming)

220
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,919
(all laugh maliciously)

221
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:45,319
(music, laughter and
screaming continue)

222
00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:56,440
Son. Me and the pirate are lovers.

223
00:11:57,639 --> 00:12:01,040
And it's your hand.
Ahoy!

224
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,000
(music, laughter and
screaming continue)

225
00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:07,440
(screaming)

226
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,239
♪ I hide my shit in the closet.

227
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:21,879
♪ I got some space if you want it.♪

228
00:12:21,919 --> 00:12:24,080
That's crazy. That
was crazy dream man.

229
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,160
Hey, you want a...
Whoaaaa. AH! You okay?

230
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,559
Good? Yeah, yeah,
I'm good. Yeah, sorry.

231
00:12:28,599 --> 00:12:29,680
Okay.
Sorry, I had a...

232
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,080
I had a dream
I was shagging a pirate.

233
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:35,040
Oh, how was the panging?
Yeah, it was good.

234
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,480
Could have done without
him whispering

235
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:38,800
'arse matey' in my ear.

236
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,199
That means you're
worried about money.

237
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:42,519
No, it means he's
bisexual or anxious,

238
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:43,919
actually,
about the big gig.

239
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:45,800
How's the prep going?
Um...

240
00:12:48,319 --> 00:12:49,360
I'm actually...

241
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,319
not gonna do the gig.

242
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,080
(exhales) Oh my God, thank God.
Jesus Christ, Oh my God.

243
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,919
I've been so worried all week.

244
00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:02,519
He's insane! I was so sick all
week thinking about it, honestly.

245
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,480
He's one of these podcast bro guys.
What the fuck are even going to say
up there?

246
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,360
But you were still going to go?

247
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,440
Yeah, of course.

248
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,559
It was important to you.
She was going to make me come, so.

249
00:13:10,599 --> 00:13:13,480
Ahh! Oh, right. Yes. Yeah.

250
00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:16,040
He said come there.
Yeah, he did.

251
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,040
I'm still going to do
something tonight, though.

252
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,400
Oh, cool.
I'll text you about it later.

253
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,800
Okay. Great.

254
00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:23,680
Great.
Cool.

255
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,919
You have still got that psychiatrist
appointment at 11:00, by the way,

256
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,360
so maybe leave about 10:00.
Thank you.

257
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,760
Hey.

258
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,400
Proud of you.

259
00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:43,839
It's only 9:00 AM.

260
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,160
So look, this isn't a proper
consultation.

261
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:51,239
The backlog for assessment is huge.

262
00:13:51,279 --> 00:13:53,760
You could be waiting anything
from 6 months to a year

263
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,639
before I could
properly diagnose you.

264
00:13:58,519 --> 00:14:03,279
However, based on your questionnaire

265
00:14:03,319 --> 00:14:09,160
and the observer report that your
childhood friend, Lauren filled out,

266
00:14:10,839 --> 00:14:15,720
I think it is likely
that you have ADHD.

267
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,559
And have shown symptoms
stemming from childhood.

268
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:24,680
Now, it's going to be a while
before I can say that officially,

269
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,160
and even longer before
we can look at treatment.

270
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:32,040
But I just thought you might
like to know just where we're at.

271
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,440
Okay?

272
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,440
♪ (low atmospheric music)

273
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,959
Okay, so you're on the waitlist,
and he said if there's any

274
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,040
cancellations, he'll let us know.

275
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,440
Cool.

276
00:14:45,839 --> 00:14:47,760
Thanks, Mam.
Sorry.

277
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,839
Sorry, I know you hate that.

278
00:14:56,839 --> 00:14:57,839
Good boy.

279
00:14:57,879 --> 00:15:12,040
♪♪

280
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,559
(dial tone)

281
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:16,239
Oh-ho, the big English
granny herself.

282
00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,639
Eh, Joe, I need
to cancel tonight.

283
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,919
You've been cancelled too?

284
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,480
Fuck me.

285
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,879
Just had the same call
from the laughing Pakistani.

286
00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,120
The left have taken up arms.

287
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,839
We will not go gentle
until that good night.

288
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:29,760
No, no, I'm cancelling the gig.

289
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,279
And I'm not only Joe Kane, brother.

290
00:15:33,319 --> 00:15:35,760
It's just not my kinda gig.

291
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,120
Those lips must have some
serious shit on you, mate.

292
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,239
Say no more.

293
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:41,400
We'll have you back home
when this blows over.

294
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,959
While I have you, I'm still
funding a company pilot about

295
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,440
an Irish couple who moved next
door to a family of foreigners.

296
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,760
It's called uncle and
auntie immigration. We're
currently at 140...

297
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,040
(call end tone) Oh, Jesus Christ.

298
00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:05,239
I gotta do a gig now.

299
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,839
I gotta do a gig. Jokes.
What's the deal with dog shoes?

300
00:16:09,879 --> 00:16:21,800
♪♪

301
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:24,480
(low chatter)

302
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,599
(laughter)

303
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,400
Hey! C'mere!

304
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,879
Ooooh. (laughing)

305
00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:36,760
How you feeling?
Pwah. Really?

306
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,120
Oh. Got you zero, so you nail it.

307
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,000
Aww. Thanks, man.

308
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,559
Wait, hang on. Cheers.
Ah.

309
00:16:45,599 --> 00:16:48,279
ALL: (goofy voices) Cheers.

310
00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:52,279
You drinking water? What, are
you on antibiotics or something?

311
00:16:52,319 --> 00:16:54,599
No, I'm pregnant and it's his cum.

312
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,040
(she laughs)
Lauren!

313
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,160
Lauren!

314
00:17:04,199 --> 00:17:05,959
Sorry, you're going to shake
it out. You're an idiot.

315
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,400
I'm so happy for you guys.

316
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,519
I know you guys have been trying.
Thank you.

317
00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:13,080
Because the walls are
super fucking thin. Oh, fuck off.

318
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,839
How do you want me to intro you?

319
00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:18,239
Oh, em... Em, just as me.

320
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,480
Just as you. Okay.

321
00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:22,199
He's brilliant.

322
00:17:22,239 --> 00:17:25,720
(cheers and applause) Thank you,
thank you, thank you for the intro.

323
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,680
Welcome back to Rental.
Did you all have a nice break?

324
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,400
CROWD: Yeah!
These two ladies definitely
enjoyed the break.

325
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,319
See the old sneachta
in the nose there?

326
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,519
You don't get it?
That's the Irish word for snow.

327
00:17:35,559 --> 00:17:38,319
(laughter) Ohhh. Oh!

328
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:42,000
Remember that? I don't think
I'm gonna do that tonight.

329
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:46,000
The next act, very exciting,
actually, is not just his debut
here at Silly Billy,

330
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,519
it's his debut stand-up
comedy ever, ever, ever.

331
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:50,680
(cheers)
So let's get a bit of energy going.

332
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,680
Sneachta ladies,
all the rest, all the rest.

333
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,959
(cheers and applause) Please
welcome to the stage, eh, this guy.

334
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,279
Aw. I really should
have said my name.

335
00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:03,239
(cheers and applause)

336
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:17,879
Irish weather's mad isn't it,
it's weird.

337
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:20,279
So today was really warm.

338
00:18:20,319 --> 00:18:24,440
I wasn't expecting it to be.
And the air was really muggy.

339
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,160
In fact, it was so muggy,
I almost gave it my wallet.

340
00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:29,959
(Lauren laughs)

341
00:18:31,199 --> 00:18:34,480
Thanks, ma'am. No, it's not
my Mam. Ma's not here.

342
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:38,959
I told her about the gig, she
didn't want to come. Em, it's fine.

343
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,080
No, that's Lauren, my flatmate.

344
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,959
Lauren and Jack, my
flatmates are here.

345
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,519
(scattered 'woos')

346
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,720
Great.
Thank you for the woo.

347
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,800
No, they've been really
nice and supportive to me.

348
00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:52,400
I moved in with them last year
after my divorce,

349
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,480
and they gave
me a great deal.

350
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:58,199
Cheap rent, but I have
to listen to them ride.

351
00:18:58,239 --> 00:19:00,480
(laughter)

352
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:01,919
Boo.

353
00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:06,480
No, no. They are full on,
honestly, when they ride.

354
00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:08,199
I was there for the first few months.

355
00:19:08,239 --> 00:19:10,599
I thought there was a seagull
trapped in the walls.

356
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,839
Sorry about that.
It was very uncomfortable for you.

357
00:19:12,879 --> 00:19:17,239
No, but getting back out there has
been really interesting and fun.

358
00:19:17,279 --> 00:19:18,919
And I was seeing this girl

359
00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:21,000
and we went on a date and
it was all going really nice.

360
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:26,360
And then at the end of the date,
she ran over my foot with her car.

361
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:32,040
And let me tell you, the next
morning, boy, were my dogs barking.

362
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:39,400
Fuck. I forgot to, sorry, I forgot to
say that the shoes had dogs on them.

363
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,760
They were like designer
shoes I got in my last job.

364
00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:43,400
It doesn't matter.

365
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,599
Yeah, I think that's my time.

366
00:19:47,639 --> 00:19:51,279
Eh, thank you so much.
(cheers and applause)

367
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,160
Not bad at all, right?
Yeah, pretty good.

368
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,760
It was so good.
You weren't shit.!

369
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,919
Thank you.
That's exactly what I was going for.

370
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:09,440
For God's sake. What do you feel?
I don't know. I really want to
do it again.

371
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,279
You're a natural like.
You were genuinely like so,
like you were in it.

372
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:15,400
Yeah. It's like you've been
doing it for years.

373
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,959
Don't tell- Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, please.

374
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,279
Thank you very much.
(laughing) You know.

375
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,919
Listen, we are going to
have another act going on

376
00:20:22,959 --> 00:20:24,160
and I'm very excited about it.

377
00:20:24,199 --> 00:20:26,000
I know that you're all
here for the same reason.

378
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,279
All right, this is it.

379
00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:29,959
I'm going to bring up the next act
and I want you to give...
(dialogue fades)

380
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,120
♪ (pensive music)

381
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,160
You know her, you love her.

382
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,879
Will you please welcome back
to the Silly Billy stage,

383
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:40,839
Becky Warhol.
(cheers and applause)

384
00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:46,639
Thank you so much.

385
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,919
It's been a bit of a shit
week till I got here.

386
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,279
But then when I was arriving, some
old guy outside told me to smile

387
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,360
more and just completely
turned it around.

388
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,760
(audience laugh)
It was amazing.

389
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,480
Yeah, it's been a rough time.

390
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,239
My sister, who's my best friend,
she just moved to Australia.

391
00:21:04,279 --> 00:21:06,239
So eh... Yeah.
CROWD: Aww.

392
00:21:06,279 --> 00:21:09,239
It's pretty tough finding out
your sister is a basic bitch.

393
00:21:09,279 --> 00:21:11,559
(laughter)

394
00:21:11,599 --> 00:21:14,319
I did meet this new lad, actually.

395
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,599
CROWD: Wooo.
Yeah, thanks.

396
00:21:16,639 --> 00:21:20,000
He took me to an automatic
car wash for our first date.

397
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,080
Romance is not dead.

398
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:26,199
And there's no joke here. He
opened the window halfway through.

399
00:21:26,239 --> 00:21:28,160
I shit you not.

400
00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:32,440
I just sat there Sir, if this
is your idea of getting me wet...

401
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,839
(laughter and cheers)

402
00:21:34,879 --> 00:21:36,639
Yeah, he's good material, though.

403
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:45,760
♪♪

404
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,319
Will I go on one more date
and let you know how it goes?

405
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,279
(crowd woo)

406
00:21:50,319 --> 00:21:52,239
Yeah, I don't know.
Ah, please.

407
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:54,559
Shut the fuck up.
Sorry.

408
00:21:54,599 --> 00:21:56,360
Sorry, everyone.
Sorry about that.

409
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,879
Sorry about that.

410
00:21:57,919 --> 00:21:59,559
Go on.

411
00:21:59,599 --> 00:22:06,879
♪ Standing in the door of the Pink
Flamingo, crying in the rain.

412
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,919
♪ It was a kind of
so so love, and I'm

413
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:18,760
♪ gonna make sure
it never happens again.

414
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,680
♪ You and I, it had to be

415
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:28,120
♪ the standing joke of the year.

416
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,760
♪ You were a sleep around,

417
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:37,360
♪ lost and found,
and not for me, I fear.♪