I don't wanna play soccer.
Let's go get ice cream and lotto tickets.
First of all, don't ever let your mother
hear the phrase "lotto tickets," okay?
And second of all, no, we can't. You can't, you ca--
you can't leave your team behind.
They're counting on you.
Do you know that goalie is probably
the most powerful position on the field?
I mean, it's just as important to save a goal
as it is to score one.
- They need you. - Really?
Are you kidding me?
You know that box around the goal?
That's your domain. That is your kingdom.
And if one of these little pasty bitches get inside that goal box,
I want you to roar so loud
that you just scare the shit out of them.
Wha--
Oh, you think I'm kidding?
I'm serious. Hey.
Inside that box, no one can fuck with you.
Now let's hear you roar. Come on.
I'm sorry, did I stutter? Let me hear you roar!
Oh! Oh, whoa!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
That was terrifying. I didn't expect that.
Oh, boy. You scared me.
I think I saw a ghost or something. Come on.
Yeah, but ghosts aren't real.
Hey, ghosts are extremely real, baby.
- What? Really? - Oh, yeah.
There's far too much paranormal phenomenon not to.
And it relates to a larger cosmology.
But there's a lot of psychic residue.
Powerful emotion and unfinished business.
Then again, the hell do I know?
You know everything.
I know everything about one thing.
I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
You got me.
- Always. - Always?
Forever.
You and me.
♪ He won't get off my back ♪
♪ He won't get off my ♪
♪ Doesn't see the hammer Nail his own hand down ♪
♪ I am not the woman That you think I am ♪
♪ Oh, I swallow up a mountain And I'm quiet as a clam ♪
♪ Saturday and Sunday In the poison air ♪
♪ Oh, and every day I work I help to put The poison there ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ He won't get off my back ♪
♪ He won't get off my back ♪
♪ He won't get off my back... ♪
♪ He won't get off my back ♪
♪ He won't get off... ♪
Hi.
Yes, this is Matilda Grover.
Um, I'm calling because my father, Daniel,
helped me make this, uh, teen debit account
when I was a minor, which I still am.
A proud teen debit account holder.
And, uh, I would like to have him removed from the account...
...for personal reasons.
Uh, but I can just tell you.
Um, he's a charlatan.
Yeah.
Uh, um, grifter.
Uh...
...stole a bunch of money from my mom.
Um...
If you have a drop down, you can put "dead to me."
But my mom, Francesca,
uh, should definitely stay on the account
because she puts money in it.
Um, I love my mommy.
Hello?
I saw the cutest guy in my AA meeting,
and I was gonna set you up with him,
- but-- - You gotta stop that.
I know. But you know what? - Shh.
It's okay because he died.
So... it's, like, problem solved.
No, no, no, no, no! Don't start it yet.
Violet's coming. She's gonna freak out.
I don't think she's gonna mind.
She's been a lot more chill recently. -
- Is that true? - I'm losing my fucking mind.
Dad is dying of cancer, and nobody gives a shit
except for me, so...
- Hi. - What?
Pausing the show.
I'm gonna go, uh, check on the, uh...
- Cool. - He called several times when I was in court,
trying to keep a homeless kid out of the foster care system.
And, I'm sorry, what were you doing,
babysitting some rich lady's cats?
- They're dogs. - Right.
That's it. Ex-husband, father dying,
and nobody cares.
I obviously care. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.
- Cure cancer? - You could try.
You could, or you could muster up any kind of compassion
for a loved one. Or are you too busy raising generationally wealthy dogs?
Oh, my God, I don't have to have compassion for him anymore.
That's why people get divorced.
Yeah, Mom, I'm obviously not talking about you.
- I'm talking about... - Me.
- Yeah. - Yeah, she's talking about me
because I did what everyone told us both to do
and I stopped talking to our addict dad,
who, by the way, had a gun collection.
Secret gun collection.
A secret gun collection.
Six guns is not a collection.
A secret six-gun collection.
So, I'm finding it a little hard to know what to do
- when you tell me he has cancer. - Well, you know what I found hard?
Trying to pass the bar exam while Dad was living in my front yard in his car.
I sent your grandpa over there to tell him to leave
- and he was gone already. - Yeah, not voluntarily.
They towed his car because there weren't enough wheels to put boots on.
I can't believe he figured out how to drive that car.
- Insane. - Did you see the tumor?
You're kidding.
Are we sure there's an actual literal tumor?
Doctors should show you proof.
Yeah, because he also told me
that he knew Quentin Tarantino,
and I never saw him.
I am the only one that cares about him.
I'm the only one that's there for him.
- You hear yourself, right? - I do. I have perfect hearing.
Violet, the man is a dangerous, destructive alcoholic,
and my Al-Anon sponsor says that
you need to at least let us detach with love.
Don't say "love." Don't say "detach with love."
He's not dangerous. He cried more than you did when your hamster died.
Because you had just gone to college,
he named it Violet, and then it ran away.
It was spelled differently, and you know that.
Please don't fight. It makes me feel like I'm a bad mom.
- You're not a bad mom. - You're not a bad mom.
Dad is a human being, okay?
And he raised you while Mom was working. Sorry.
He deserves your compassion.
Not from me. I don't have it for him.
He called me a cunt when I was 11 years old.
You were a cunt when you were 11 years old.
Grandma calls me a cunt all the time and I still see her.
Doesn't count from her because it's a term of endearment.
You don't get to say it's a term of endearment from her.
You don't get to say that. You don't get to decide whether or not
- it's a term of endearment. - From Grandma?
- Yeah. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just to clarify, I worked because he did not.
And these are important feelings for me to have,
which is why I am gonna excuse myself and go write in my journal.
Oy vey.
She's just gonna leave. That's what she's gonna do.
Journal store is gonna have to put up a wing in her honor.
- Move. - I have to move.
Come on. Come on.
Okay.
Oh, my God, I wish I could have been there
when she got arrested.
You really should see him.
You'll regret it if you don't.
He's not gonna die.
- Okay. - No.
- I can feel you leaving. - I know. I got a date. Look.
- You go on so many dates. - Hold on. I go on so many dates.
- Look. I know. - Wow. He's very attractive.
Well, it's like his hair's a little bit swoopier here, but it's spot-on boy band.
- What are we doing? - Look.
- Oh, wow. - I feel like he needs water.
That's a lot of tattoos. - What do you mean?
- He looks thirsty. - Okay, stop. This is-- Right.
- That's an expense. - No, I don't need the input, actually.
So, thank you. Thank you.
This was fun, guys. Seriously, what a good hang.
I love this. Um... Yeah, let's do this again
after I have a lobotomy.
Something I said?
You want to watch Housewives,Carl?
Uh, no. But I love you both.
- Love you. - I think you would really like it.
Uh, I don't know about that.
My God.
Oh, well, now she's too thin.
I heard she is on... Ozempic.
And so I tried to get it for myself,
you know, but the doctor on the website... -
...said that I don't weigh enough,
so I lied and told him I weigh more than I do,
and then he didn't believe me, so I can't get it.
What?
I hope she uses protection with that tattoo guy.
Oh, my God!
I love having sex without a condom! - Yeah! Me too!
See, we have so much in common already. -
If I haven't gotten pregnant yet, I can't!
Don't worry. Every time I try to donate sperm, they say, "Never mind."
Okay, just shut up and lean back. -
- Hey, have you seen Dad? - Shit!
I haven't gotten around to it.
Well, I can't find him. Start calling hospitals.
Just any hospital?
I know that you don't want to deal with this,
but I'm scared that Mark is going to figure out I'm pregnant.
Figure out? Didn't your co-worker congratulate you yesterday?
Yes, and I threatened to sue her for fat-shaming.
Wow. Uh, you crossed your legs the other day,
and I'm pretty sure I saw the head.
Our dad is missing.
Have you even seen him since he got sick?
For your information, I've been busy.
- With what? - I'm walking up and down the hill,
wearing Julianne's Fitbit so that I can get her steps in
because she's trying to lose weight.
Uh, doesn't it sound insane to you that Dad is missing?
This sort of happens all the time. - Maybe,
but it sounds more insane not looking for our missing father.
Yes!
Yes, you agree?
Oh. No. Sorry, I just, um,
I just completed one of Julianne's rings.
She's gonna look really great at the Emmys.
I am so glad we have our priorities straight.
So...
Okay, I found him.
How did you do that so fast?
So, the short version is that the tumors are eating him alive.
What was the long version?
Uh, the tumors are eating him alive.
Would you like to see images of the tumors?
- No. - Okay.
- Sometimes people want proof. - Is there any treatment that could work?
Chances are slim. Uh, again, I can show you the X-rays of all these tumors.
- Please stop. - Okay. Well, your father's inside.
Dr. Blair, Dr, Blair...
You coming?
No, I... I am. Uh...
Yeah, I am. I'm just, uh,
I'm gonna call Mom, let her know what's happening.
Yeah. Okay.
Hi...
...rabbit.
Hi, Daddy.
I love you so much.
- I love you too. - Yeah.
Hey. Don't worry.
I have no intention of kicking the bucket anytime soon.
I know.
I know. I know.
Is Tillie coming?
Um...
She's gonna be here any second.
Can you, can you put SpongeBobon?
We used to... watch that together, me and Tillie.
- Oh, yeah. - Hm.
- I love you. - I know.
I know. I love you.
And so does Tillie.
You love her too, right?
I don't know.
Dad.
Hey, Violet, steal the TV for me.
Dad, come on.
Tillie says her father is being eaten alive by tumors.
It's giving the tumors an awful lot of agency.
It sounds like he's dying.
I don't wanna go, but I feel like the good moms
are with their daughters when their fathers are dying.
My mom was with me when my dad died.
And she was a good mom.
Just look at me.
- Sweetie? - Oh, hey.
- Hey, Mom. - Hey.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, no. It's okay.
Um, is Tillie here?
Um, she is... somewhere.
Yeah, I think she heard Dad say that
he doesn't know if he loves her.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- I don't know. - Hm.
Um, well, remember, uh, his brain is not
in the best shape at the moment.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I--
Hey, listen, um, do you wanna see his tumors?
There is a doctor that will be your best friend, if you want to look at them.
I mean, I kind of do.
I, I don't care. I'm just kidding. -
Okay.
- Okay. - Come on.
Hey.
- Okay. - No, it's okay to not be okay.
No, really, I'm good now.
I'll, uh, look for Tillie in a second.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I've never been to a puppet show... -
- ...in Santa Monica. When? - Yes, you have!
And we smelled poop, and we didn't realize
- it was on our shoes. - I would--
- When-- How old was I? - We were, like--
well, you were, like, four or something.
I feel like I would remember if we went to a puppet show
and there was poop on my shoe though. - We were--
Oh, my God.
- Daniel? - Hey.
- Daniel? - Dad.
- Daniel? - Hey.
Hey. No, no, no.
- No. - Dad, no, no, no.
Tillie!
Dad?
- It's okay. - It's okay.
It's okay. I'll take care of the girls.
I swear, everybody will be okay.
I'll make sure that they're okay.
I know we had problems, but you loved them so much...
- Is he gone? - ...and there was a time
when I loved you very much in spite of...
Sweetheart. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Come here.
He's, like, dead to me.
Like a ghost...
- of a person. - Like a ghost.
- Like a ghost...
Oh.
I mean, missing those last moments with her dad
after cutting him out of her life for so long.
Well, procrastination is a hell of a drug.
Okay, I'm at the store looking at ice cream.
They're all out of Halo Top Sea Salt Caramel.
- What's your next choice? - You know what? Fuck Halo Top.
I watched someone die tonight, so I deserve the real shit.
You got it.
I know that Tillie's decision was really complicated.
It's just--
I hope that this whole thing
doesn't wind up haunting her for the rest of her life.
Hey, Frankie, we gotta talk.
- What just happened?
- What's going on? - Where'd you go? Where the fuck--
Where did-- How did you do that? - I can get it all.
What do you want? You want me to go to Gelson's?
- Are you okay? - Uh, everything's normal.
- I'll call you back. - What do you mean, everything's normal?
Oh, my God.
Uh, okay. Deep breaths.
- I am hallucinating. - No, you're not.
Uh, okay, then, I'm having a stroke?
You're not having a stroke. You smell burnt toast? - You knew I don't eat bread.
Look, you know what? I've been looking for you for hours.
Something really strange is going on here.
Strange? Really?
Because I am talking to my dead ex-husband in a mirror.
Let's just calm down.
We don't know that I'm dead.
I watched you die!
- Oh, so now you're a doctor. - You know what?
You have always diminished my fucking accomplishments!
- You're literally not a doctor! - I could have
been a doctor if it wasn't for you!
I'm seeing things, I'm seeing things. I'm seeing crazy things.
I had a crazy day, and now I'm going crazy.
I'm seeing things, I'm seeing...
- Whoa! Fuck! - Don't panic.
Fuck you! Fuck you!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I gotta call my sponsor, call my shrink.
I don't know what to think. I don't--
No, if I call my sponsor, he'll think I'm fucking crazy.
Now, what the fucking--
Oh, my God. Hey, if you're another ghost,
I may be Jewish, but I am very clear
on the true meaning of Christmas.
- Thank you. - I'm coming in!
Ghosts can come in now?
I didn't say you were the first person to see me.
Oh, my God. He's in your mirror too?
This is real.
Do you see a light at the end of a tunnel?
- Go towards it. - Don't say, "Go towards it."
Don't go towards it. That's how they get you.
There's no light.
No, I seem to be in some strange, uh, liminal space.
Hard to describe, but, uh...
well, seems to have something to do with mirrors.
Of course I tried to explain this
to Stephen Hawking back in the '80s.
You never met Stephen Hawking.
Don't lie from the afterlife. There could be repercussions.
Stephen Hawking could be standing behind you.
He could punch you in the head.
- I'm not dead. - Oh.
You'll never be dead to me, Daddy.
I'm really not dead.
Okay, let's you and me go to the thankfully mirrorless deck
so that we can call Tillie.
Hello?
Hi, sweetie. Were you asleep?
Did you take that pill I gave you?
Yeah. I don't think it worked.
Sweetie, can you go to the mirror and tell me what you see?
Like you're my Sarah Lawrence acting coach?
Just do it. Just do it.
Okay.
Getting up.
Getting up. Walking.
Here. I'm here.
Do you see anything?
If this is another body positivity thing,
it didn't really work. Last time.
You don't see anyone else?
Mm, no, but you're starting to scare the shit out of me, so that's good.
Okay, listen. Um, I, I, I need you to come over.
Your sister and I have to talk to you. -
- Now? - Yes. Right now!
- You have clothes. - I know.
I know, it's like,
it's like the end of our town... - Do you feel
- like you have cancer? - ...but if our town
- were a one-man show. - But you never owned
that blazer is my point. You know what I mean?
- I have that blazer. - I don't think he did.
- Hey! - Whoa!
We're seeing your father.
- At the morgue? - In the mirror.
Yeah, he's in the mirror, your father. - He's in the mirror.
Bring her over to the mirror so she can see me.
- You got to go to the mirror. - Come here.
- In the mirror. Like, mirror. - The man is in the mirror.
- Dad is in the mirror. - Yeah, he's in the mirror.
It's like a miracle.
Why can't you see me? She can't see me.
I don't know. You're not even a predictable ghost.
Hey, mudgy, it's me. It's Daddy.
Have her turn. She can't-- Swee...
Hey, thanks for visiting me all those times. I really...
Can you hear what he's saying?
Yeah, can you hear what he's saying?
Can you hear what you're saying?
Oh, God, we have to convince her.
Now I feel bad for priests, 'cause this is hard. - I know. I know.
- Hard to have proof. - Oh, oh. You know what?
I have it, I have it, I have it, I have it, I have it.
Oh, Daniel, what is something that you know about Tillie
that neither me nor Violet know? - Okay, that's smart.
- That's genius. - Right? Thank you.
Is this, like, some mean
and very convoluted way of getting me to admit
to stealing Grandma's cigarettes in middle school?
- Because I didn't do it. - Hm.
How would I know what she told you?
You banished me from the family. -
You never told Tillie a secret?
Oh, my God, you stole from my purse
to buy Dippin' Dots for your father
- when he took you to the track? - Matilda!
Oh, my God.
I've never told anyone that
because I genuinely forgot.
It's working.
Dad?
Do your thing.
I don't-- I can't see him.
- Am I doing something wrong? - Maybe.
No, don't say that.
- No? - No, no, no, no, sweetheart.
No, no, don't feel bad.
Because, um, we don't know what kind of
supernatural mishegoss is going on.
I mean, I, I was married to him,
and, uh, Violet is the eldest daughter, so...
- Yeah. - Um, maybe it's like a Passover thing.
Passover thing. Oh, or maybe, um,
I knew him longer before he relapsed.
Yeah. Yeah. I think it, it was--
Just might be a very, very tight circle on this one.
Where is he?
- Oh, Jesus. - It's like...
- Don't answer it. - I have to.
- You don't have to. - It's Mom.
- Okay. - Uh, hey, Mom. Not a good time right now.
Oh, I won't keep you long.
Uh, Grandpa and I, uh, seem to be having a nervous break.
He wants to go to a mental institution,
and I am not that worried.
What are you talking about?
We're seeing your deadbeat dead husband in every mirror.
Oh, my God, my whole family is being haunted without me.
Oh. They're seeing him too.
Hello? Where's everybody?
Ah. I got, like, way too much ice cream.
I know, but it's a big night. We got a lot of candles.
What are we doing, just looking at ourselves in the mirror?
- Here's Danny! - Whoa!
God! Jesus!
Fuck! It's okay. Everybody, come out!
Come with me! Come on!
Oh! Damn it!
Okay, the mirrors are covered.
Let's talk ghosts.
What? No.
I want to know why Carl...
...has not proposed to Frankie yet.
Oh, no, no, no, no. You can't do me like that. - No, Mom, no.
- This is not what that is about. - This is this? This is this now?
- We're doing this now? - We're here to talk about ghosts.
- Ghosts. - Spot on, Grandma.
- Shut up! - That-- Yeah.
- Okay! - That is why we're here.
- Ghosts. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Anyone who can see Daniel,
- raise your hand. - Yeah.
Cool.
Ghosts are real,
and my whole family is going crazy without me.
It's not fair. But if it helps, I really, really hate that I can see him.
And I really, really hate that he can see me.
You? I looked into having him killed.
- "Killed"? - Well, casually.
I asked my jeweler if he knew someone.
Jewelers know people.
Why can't I see him?
Hm. I don't think this is about you.
Actually, now that I think about it... - Oh, you're right.
...I think maybe it's not about you. - It's about their jeweler.
Hey, if it makes you feel better, you can have mine.
It's not what it's cracked up to be. - Thank you, Carl.
That's really generous of you.
See? Some people are sort of offering their ghosts.
Okay, I think everybody should be
- a little bit more generous-- - Hey, guys.
Guys. Hey, guys!
- ...as opposed to... - Well, I'm talking...
- ...being a huge bitch. - ...so announcement from me. And be quiet.
Now, um, thank you so much, everybody.
Um, so I was talking with Dad privately,
and he doesn't exactly know what's happening, but he thinks...
- ...he might not be dead. - Mm-hm.
What does he think he is?
- What? - Whoa! Whoa!
You know what? I can't with this fucking guy!
- All right, look. - Where's the fucking ice cream?
It could be true, it could not be true.
And whether he's correct or not, I think we should cover our bases
by, A, protecting his body from erosion.
I don't know when that starts.
And, B, going to his apartment and getting all of his photos,
- which we have to do anyway. - That might be what's keeping him here...
and nobody wants that.
I mean... condolences. - Thank you.
What were his last wishes?
Maybe he's already been cremated.
He didn't have last wishes because he ate
a specific brand of cookie every day
that he thought would make him live forever.
No, no, no, you idiot. No.
It wasn't a specific brand of cookie that he thought
was gonna make him live forever. He thought
that if he ate it long enough, medical science
- would catch up and intervene. - Oh, right.
- The guy was a putz. - It's different.
- I'm the idiot in that scenario. - You are the idiot.
- That's what I said. - Why don't we
- donate his body to science? - Did I not say that?
Is that real?
Sure. The one person that can't see him
is guessing his last wishes. That seems right.
- Oh, my God! - I think that makes sense.
No, I think it makes sense. I love that. - You're such a dick!
- You're a dick! - You loved BodyWorks.
You don't know that. We went one time... - And that's that.
- Okay! Whoa! - Mom.
Hold on. I know someone we can talk to.
- A therapist? - No, but a very intuitive person.
- Better not be Barry. - It's Barry.
- Ugh. - Mm-hm.
- Great. - She's obsessed with Barry.
Um, okay, I am gonna go ahead and call the hospital... - Who's Barry?
...about Dad's body. Unless Barry can, um,
come and do this for us. So...
Excuse me.
Is this a sign?
I don't generally believe in signs,
but I also didn't believe in ghosts
- until tonight. - A sign for what, sweetie?
That I shouldn't have listened to everybody and cut off contact with him
because now I'm being punished by him denying me his presence.
Why can't he punish me?
I mean, I, I don't get it.
Do you want to be haunted by him?
I just don't understand why I can't see him.
And I don't wanna be going crazy over this,
but it's pissing me off that my whole family
is being haunted by my dad without me.
Maybe he had unfinished business with all of you.
Unfinished business?
The man never worked a day in his life.
Yes. Yeah, he did. He was a taxi driver,
and he made all those lamps, and he helped Uncle Herbie
fix his computer all of those times, and he was a government contractor.
He was kicked by a police horse, and the government paid him off.
That is not called employment.
- Right. Okay. - The horse was really provocative, though.
Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
Okay, so that was the hospital,
and they said we can move him to any mortuary.
We just have to call, or we can donate his body
to something called Science Care.
Till, they're not open right now, and I work during business hours,
and I am eight fucking months pregnant, so I'm gonna need you
to call and get our dad's body back. - Mm.
Me?
No, I can't.
Julianne is having a really hard time
with the company that delivers her soup.
She likes puree, and they keep sending chunky, and it's destroying her.
Is that a yes?
Sure.
Yeah. You know what?
I will go collect the body of the man
who can't even be bothered to haunt me.
This putz'sin my mirror.
Daniel, talk to your daughter.
You can't even ghost right.
I swear, after I die, I'm coming back
and I'm haunting every single one of you.
Thank you, Grandpa.
- Thank you. - No, no. It's okay.
Okay. Choking!
- Oh! - Thank you.
Hi. Is this Tile Grover?
"Tile"? Do you think there's a person named Tile?
Uh, whoever filled out the intake form put "Tile."
It's Tillie. Matilda. Who are you?
Hi, Miss Grover. This is Owen from Science Care. -
Oh. Yeah.
Hi. I've been calling you.
Uh, you have to get my dad's body from the hospital,
and there's a lady there who's, um, very mad at me,
as if I'm supposed to go get it or something.
Well, I'd love to get that taken care of for you.
We just need a little bit of additional information.
- Okay. - Uh, we'll need an affidavit stating that
there are no remaining conflicts with the estate.
What does that mean?
Uh, just that affairs are settled
and all fine with the estate.
"Estate"? He lived in Section 8 housing.
Got it. Uh, well, still, you know,
- just to, to, to kind of... - So, uh,
you want me to go to my dad's place
and rummage through the trash to confirm that it is trash?
Sadly, yes. And we will also need it notarized.
Come on!
I, I, I, I am so sorry, Miss Grover.
That is so profoundly difficult.
And I do understand,
you know, even past being your account representative,
I'm a man. Human. Man.
I, I understand emotions, and I feel them.
And, and I'm a-- And I-- As a, a human,
member of the human species with you.
Yeah, well, keep saying it, because it gets more convincing every time you do.
I wish I could help, you know.
And, and if you need someone to be here
while you process those feelings...
I just can't get rid of this guy.
He dies, and then I have even more work to do
than from when he was alive.
And it's like I can't get away,
and my sister is bearing down on me.
And I can't even see my dad.
Right. Because he's passed.
What you said. It's not like he's a ghost.
But if he was...
...and my sister and Mom could see him,
but I couldn't...
...what would you suggest that I do?
Since you work for science.
Well, I work for Science Care,
not just, sort of, the concept of science.
But I would say, you know, in this extremely specific
and obviously impossible scenario,
that sister and mother are very close,
intimate relationships with a lot of baggage.
And it might behoove you to find a more neutral mediator,
maybe someone a little even-keeled and impartial
to help reestablish that connection.
That's what I would do.
Like a Science Care guy.
No. No, not me. It can't be.
Um, uh, you know, I would say, though, that I am,
I am here for you. You know, feel free to call me.
I, I'm, I'm assigned to your case.
Uh, and once again, my name is Owen. And, uh, I'll be here.
Thanks, Owen. You're a real one.
If you say so.
Uh, there is a short survey after we get off the call together
that I would love-- Hello?
She hung up.
You and Dad always got along so well,
and the case manager at Science Care
says that we could use a mediator, which I don't think is his job.
I think he gives Dad's body parts to medical students.
But you love to mediate, so maybe you can help us connect.
I do love to mediate.
Okay, Renee. Mediate away.
When was the last time when you and I just hung out?
Um,
yeah, I don't know, Grandma.
That's really sweet, but Violet
- is really riding my ass... - Didn't mean it
- when I said I didn't know... - ...about this whole
- ghost thing. - ...whether I loved her or not.
Can't you just talk
to each other?
- No. That's literally... - No. See,
- that's what I'm saying. - ...the whole problem.
Please let me handle this.
I am the mediator.
Daniel, Tillie wants to talk to you.
Now, see...
I can hear and see her. She can't hear and see me!
I am not deaf or foreign!
Will you please tell Tillie...
- ...that I'm so-- - Are you still talking to this asshole?
- Yes. - Will you shut the fuck up for five...
Don't even fucking think about it.
You're dead. I'm not.
So suck on that.
I'm obviously astral traveling, or a bodhisattva,
or on some higher level of consciousness.
You are not on a higher plane.
You're stuck here because you, in life, were a deadbeat.
You stole from your wife!
You abandon your daughters, you lie to everybody. -
No wonder your kids didn't want to talk to you
when you got sick.
Hm.
Tillie forgot the leftovers!
Mom?
- Mom in here? - No.
- Oh! - Everyone's a critic.
- That's amazing. - Thank you.
I figured since you can't see him...
Voilà.
That's for me?
It's not for me.
Awesome.
Yeah, 'cause I, I tore him out of all my pictures.
So a giant painting is perfect.
Sweetheart-- Oh, Jesus!
"Not my favorite."
Oh, God. Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay. - Oh, Mom.
Uh, I talked to the Science Care guy.
They can get the body of the man who doesn't know he loves me.
So call the psychic rabbi. I have to go.
- Oh. Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Bye. Have a great day.
- It really is fantastic. It's... - Thank you.
...it's frightening.
Does she-- Do you want this?
Or is it-- Is this for me?
How do we feel about some horns?
Why can't I get you out of my life?
Well, this normally comes at the end of the story, but you still love me.
You need to make things right with Tillie
so the demons can come and suck you away
like the bad guy in Ghost. The guy with no eyebrows.
The guy, uh, the guy whose father was a famous producer.
The guy who played the president in Scandal.
You need to call that psychic rabbi
so he can get to the bottom of this astral projection thing,
or whatever the hell it is, and then I'll come back
and I'll straighten things out with Tillie.
I cannot tell somebody
that my dead ex-husband doesn't think he's dead,
because that, that's going to make me look like a fucking idiot.
Yeah, we can't have that, can we?
Oh, my God. You know what?
You denied having going into my bank account
and stealing money from me to buy a bunch of guns.
I wanted to be the only liberal with guns.
You denied being drunk
when I dragged you to the car
and showed you all of the empty beer cans.
Since losing my corporeal form, I've really sobered up.
And now you're denying having died.
Congratulations. You win a denial.
And you believe in ghosts. So what the hell do you know?
I know that you said you didn't love Tillie.
I did not say that I don't love Tillie.
I said that I didn't know if I loved Tillie
because my brain was filled with tumors or so they say.
You know, I happen to be going through a very hard time right now.
You know, that is just like you, to conveniently have tumors
to blame your bad behavior on.
All I know is that Tillie cannot go through the rest of her life
thinking that her father doesn't love her, and you know that.
That would be bad.
All right.
I'll take care of that.
I'm on it. But you have to call that rabbi.
Unless you want your husband in the mirror for the rest of your life,
telling you how you really look in those jeans.
Oh, my God. Fuck you.
I'm so going to fuck you. Fuck you.
Hello.
You've reached Rabbi Barry.
Shalom!
To schedule abris, press one.
To schedule abar orbat mitzvah, press two.
To schedule a psychic clearing, press three.
Sure. Three.
Hello, this is Owen from Science Care. How can I help you?
Hi, Owen from Science Care.
This is Matilda Grover
calling to check on Daniel Grover's body.
Hi, Miss Grover. So, yeah, we received all the paperwork. -
We can release those ashes to you right away.
Ashes?
Yeah, that's what we, uh--
That was what was listed at the hospital.
Is that a problem?
No.
I just didn't realize you were going to burn 'em.
And now I don't really know how that's gonna affect
the metaphysical aspect of all of this.
What?
I have no idea why I'm inclined to ask you this,
but what do you think happens when we die?
Uh... Wow. Well, you know, any number of things.
Our website actually lists a bunch of the options. -
We have cremation, air burial.
Not to our bodies.
To our spirits.
Oh. I'm afraid I don't know, Miss Grover.
This family member...
...he can't see me.
- Not the real you, right? - Sure.
When he was in the hospital, I couldn't look at him.
And I tore him out of all my photos, so...
...it's like there's no proof that he was ever even my dad.
Got it.
I'm so sorry.
Now I'm just sort of worried.
What if I'm his unfinished business
and this is all my fault?
Forgive the forwardness,
but is it maybe just as possible
that he is your unfinished business?
Wait. What's air burial?
Air burial is a cultural custom
where a body is left on a high altitude surface
to be picked clean by birds.
He would have loved that.
Why won't you come talk to me?
Why can't you come haunt me?
You're so broken.
And I'd do anything to talk to you.
To be sweet to you instead of chastise you.
I'd spend all the money in the world for you.
I'd run the family dry...
...to make you feel like you got the respect you thought you deserved.
I'd learn everything there is to know about metaphysics for you.
I'd cure cancer.
None of it would've mattered...
...or changed anything that happened, but I'd do it now.
Dad?
Dad!
Look at how you lived! -
I'm doing it!
I'm facing my unfinished business!
I'm not hiding in the hallway anymore!
I did the right thing...
...cutting you out of my life.
'Cause this is what you do.
You hurt people
because you only ever cared about yourself.
I'm glad I can't see you.
I'm glad you're out of my life...
...forever.
Daddy, I am so sorry about the cremation.
Hey, don't worry about the ashes.
I'm sure that whatever power
allows me to manifest can also reconstitute a human body.
- It's just molecules. - Yeah.
Yay.
Yay. Okay?
So...
...uh, before the séance begins,
uh, I was thinking
maybe you could walk to the drugstore,
I could look through the glass and the lotto machine...
...find the winning numbers.
You could buy a ticket. Bing, bang, boom,
we've got enough money, bring me back into this plane.
I could pay off my student loan debt.
- Hm? Sure. Sure. - Yeah.
Keep your eye-- eyes on the prize, though, rabbit.
Right. I do technically think that might constitute as fraud,
and I don't know if we want to use your ghost powers for evil.
Uh, not a ghost, sweetie.
Well, you might be, right?
I mean, Dad, I am on your side, but...
...I was in the room. I watched you flatline.
Isn't it beautiful that you might be a spirit
there to protect the family when my son is born? Your grandson?
Isn't it enough for you to just watch over us like this?
- No. - No.
- Right.
No! I'm in a mirror!
I'm in a mirror.
- I wanna be with you. - Yeah.
You know... where all the action is.
Right. I-- And I want that too. And...
- Yes. Yeah. - Attagirl.
Okay. Okay! Mm.
I don't like that shade. I never liked it. - I wasn't asking you.
Um, did you get the goods from Dad's?
Yes. Everything that wasn't covered in mold.
- Or did you want the mold? - Ha, ha-ha.
Okay, well, did you get his diving helmet?
And did you get his fencing sword and the rocks?
Did you get the box of cables?
Box of cables. That's what I forgot.
Because we need that for... - Okay, it's not a joke.
All right? Because, look,
it might provide some sentimental value.
- The cables? - I don't know.
- Excited for the psychic rabbi? - Um... Yes. Yes.
Uh, any luck figuring out why you can't see Dad?
I don't know. Maybe the connection's not strong enough
and there's too much dread.
- Probably. - Hey, babe. I think I'm finally getting
- cauliflower ear from jiu-jitsu. - Hey.
- Huge day for me. - Huge.
Oh, hey, Mr. Grover.
- Oh, it's-- - Oh, come on! He can see him?
- You never even met him! - Don't worry, Tillie.
It's only because I busted raw on your sister. - Eric.
- Sorry, Mr. Grover. - Ugh!
- Dad! - So I should just
- bust raw in somebody... - No, you shouldn't.
...and then I'll be able to see my dad? - Eric.
Come on, come on. Eric, come on.
Mom, did you drink when you were pregnant with me? - Of course.
Isn't it recommended?
We are gathered
to discuss the lingering spirit
of Daniel Grover
and what may yet be done
to ease his passing
from this life into the next.
Barry is a psychic rabbi.
Do you think we don't know why we're here?
What I need you to know
is that this haunting is very real.
It's not just in your mind.
Yeah, this dude is way more specific
than any of the other apparitions I know.
He made fun of me about my birthday.
I didn't even know I was self-conscious about that.
Oh, you're gonna make a wonderful father.
Yes.
Mazel,by the way. Ah!
The most common misconception I hear
about hauntings is,
"Oh, the ghost is haunting the living."
However, it's you who are haunting him.
Wow.
You're haunting Dad.
- Yay, yay, and yes! - Bullshit.
You all need to unburden yourselves
of an attachment to him.
Every single one of you!
Well, I, I can't see him.
But you probably already knew that.
Your father isn't visiting you?
- No. - Wow!
That's impressive.
That means you've already let him go.
Shut up.
Shut up!
I...
You hear that?
- I did everything right. - Didn't say that.
You know, this whole time, Barry,
I've been feeling very guilty and jealous
about this whole haunting thing.
And, um, I guess what you're saying is that
I'm the most advanced family member
because I don't have any unfinished business with him.
Now I'm happy the Jew witch is here.
Thanks, Barry. You're a real one.
Thank you. Now,
what I need from the rest of the family
is to come to terms with the fact
that what you need from him will never be fulfilled.
Oh, I, I knew that already. That's why I divorced him.
Yeah, speaking of letting him go, I never wanted him.
I saw him once at Christmas, and that was too much.
Fulfilled. For crying out loud,
the man annoyed me from the day I met him.
You hold on to more than you know.
Barry...
I say this with love.
Fuck you.
Come together as a family,
ravel in the living bond.
But above all else,
let him go!
And if anyone needs advice or pointers
from the most advanced member of the family,
I'd be more than happy to help all of you oldies.
Okay. Um, no, thank you.
Barry, how are we supposed to do that?
Heed these words.
Follow my advice.
The remains of the deceased
must be released in a ceremony that I have created,
based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman
and some Steely Dan songs.
- Dad hated Steely Dan. - Yeah.
All right, uh, let's all, um, uh,
gather round for the ceremony in front of the garbage can.
Hey, Daniel. Goodbye, Daniel.
Goodbye, Captain Shitbag. Fuck you.
Oh, fuck you, man! I don't need it! - Oh, fuck you!
No, Harris. It can't be done now.
It has to be done...
Please say full moon. Please say full moon.
...on the full moon.
- Bam! - Hey, Barry. Where'd you go to rabbinical school?
Was it the, uh, crystal store on La Cienega?
- I love that place. - And we can have it
at Carl and Frankie's.
Oh, no, no, no.
By this new moon,
all the lingering, unresolved feelings
must be made whole within this family,
or else his soul will be trapped with you
until you all perish.
But most important of all,
I take checks only.
Check this out.
Hey!
- Are you even fucking? - Yes.
- I'm fucking your ex-wife. - Can I watch?
Oh, I thought you were.
I have no idea what she sees in you.
Oh, gosh. Let's think. Uh, lack of delusions.
Uh, my own money. My,
my dick doesn't taste like Europe in the summer
or like it sleeps under a bridge?
- Why are you doing this? - You heard Rabbi Barry.
This is unfinished business. She has unresolved feelings.
You made her terrified of marriage.
- And I have to fix that. - Hey, okay, just calm down.
I fucked her too. Then we got married and it messed everything up.
You're gonna mess everything up. - God! Shut up.
Everybody in her family talks so fucking much.
You know, she is writing terrible things about you in her journal.
Stop talking!
So I went to the pagan candle store to get
the Kabbalahtrinkets
for the Phish concert ceremony... -
...to release Dad's soul.
But what do you-- For the ashes. - Stop. Stop.
What do you wanna do with them?
Well, it's not "them." It's a "him."
- Yeah. - Dad is a "him." He is a "him."
- It's not "him." - Well, it's not "it."
Did "it" feel right to you?
What do you want to do with him?
- Flush him down the toilet? - I don't fucking know.
This sucks. And I wasn't expecting them
- to ship it back in a box. - Yeah.
Dad is worried you're not taking
the astral travel thing seriously. -
- Aw. Well, I'm not. - Don't. Stop.
It makes sense. It does.
He explained it in a way that I think is really pretty.
It was, like, time-- I'm butchering it, but it was, like, time is a line--
You went to law school!
I know that. I know that, and I'm stressed.
And I'm due any day now.
And Eric has an eye infection
from his jiu-jitsu mouthguard... -
...and it wasn't his jiu-jitsu mouthguard.
He said he wanted to try on somebody else's. - Oh, my God.
- Now... - No, it's sort of--
- What are these? - Um, it's--
What are these?
- These look really familiar. - What do they look like to you?
- Look like lottery tickets. - They're lottery tickets.
Because Dad had a good idea, and I actually think
it was a really good idea for when if...
When he gets back, when, you know,
if, when he gets back, and then I'll have money.
It's responsible, I think, personally.
So it's just nice, you know?
Oh, my fucking God, Violet.
Dad is still manipulating you.
Okay, look, we don't know what's possible, okay?
Ghosts are real.
What if...
...what if he can come back?
From the dead?
I guess you know absolutely everything.
You're so smart, maybe you should get a regular job.
Uh, so that way, I don't have to Venmo you $1100 every month.
So, that way you can live in a storage unit.
All right.
So, counselor, what's the plan?
You're gonna bring Dad back from the dead
and win the lottery, and raise a child with a guy
who got an eye infection from a mouthguard?
Sounds like a really good plan. What then?
You'll never be free in this realm or the next
from Dad's bullshit.
Man, I really thought that
you'd be able to let this go when he died.
But for someone who's about to be a mom,
maybe you should quit acting like a kid.
I'm gonna go be the responsible one and get
a bunch of soup for my boss, who really didn't like the soup I got her before.
Jesus Christ.
You love her too, right?
I don't know.
I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to have
a conversation with you.
Put up this wall.
And life is not all about you.
You didn't appreciate it. Nobody appreciated it.
- Ghosts are extremely real. - I try!
But there's a lot of psychic residue.
Powerful emotion.
Unfinished business.
Good morning, Frankie.
It's Rabbi Barry. I'm having a premonition
that I'm going to be a little late to the séance tonight.
The full moon is here. See you tonight.
Make sure you have the photos, the remains,
and maybe a rotisserie chicken.
My beautiful family, all gathered here
to get rid of the ghost of my dad,
who they can all see in the mirror
except for me. Chin-chin.
Did you know Charles Manson killed Sharon Tate next door?
He did not.
Did he kill anyone next door?
Nope. Sorry, man.
Wow. You found someone crazier than Dad.
At least I have somebody.
How is it going with that customer service robot
that incinerated our father?
Did you see how stupid Larsa was at the reunion last night?
I love Larsa.
Oh, you know, Violet, Tillie did an incredible job
at your Dad's apartment.
I mean, really, it was spotless.
Yep.
It was spotless. No cleaning fee.
Well, you kept the photos, right?
But someone must have been murdered on this block, though, right, Eric?
Yeah, right? Do you wanna go start asking neighbors,
or will they know to lie?
Tillie.
- What? - The photos.
Um...
I have some photos on my phone.
Right. I'm talking about the ones on film of, like,
his fucking grandparents from his apartment.
I threw out the photos...
...because it's time to let go.
Come on.
Nobody in this family feels anything, huh?
Okay. Where's your backpack?
- What? - Your backpack.
That stupid yellow backpack.
There. And-- Okay. So--
- What are you doing? - Easy enough to find.
Here we go. Um, I'm not doing--
- This is what I'm doing. - No, you won't.
- Here we go. - Stop!
- What are you doing? - Fuck off!
You can't just take the ashes. We need them. - Why not?
You want what's left of his body so you can throw that away too?
It's probably why you can't see him.
You just want to throw him away. Get rid of him.
- All of you do. - But you can't
just take Dad's ashes.
Why are you in control
of everything that has to do with him?
Because you don't care at all!
You're right.
I don't care about him.
You are such a fucking brat.
Mom, she threw away the photos. Yell at her.
I don't want to be in the middle.
Of course you don't. Eric.
- We're leaving. - Ooh.
No.
You can't go. We can't do the ceremony without you.
Good. I don't want him to leave.
What about what I want?
Congratulations, Mom.
You have made this all about you.
Actually, all of you have made it about you
because you are all narcissists.
I am not a narcissist.
I have asked several shrinks and two sponsors.
And what I am is an alcoholic, drug addict,
compulsive overeater, because my mother didn't pay enough attention to me
because she is a narcissist.
I am not a narcissist.
I am a hysteric.
Eric, let's go. Come on, we're leaving.
But there's free food here.
This food is free, right?
Okay, put as much salami as you can in your pockets
because we are gone.
No, no, you can't leave
until you say I'm not a bad parent.
Well, in comparison, you weren't.
Dad was so bad.
Oh, why are you attacking me?
Because we're fucked up,
and you're the only parent we have left.
Ladies, please!
Stop being such cunts!
Eric, we're leaving!
Come on!
I can't abandon a pregnant woman at an exorcism.
- Not again. - Eric!
- He took all the salami. - Oh!
Jesus.
This exorcism sucks.
Let's go.
It's in the middle of rush hour.
- I don't care! - Great.
Okay, call your sponsor, call your therapist,
write in your journal, take a bath.
I, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
You wanna go to Petrossian? - Yes.
That went well.
Hello. Science Care. Owen speaking.
Am I a bad person?
One moment, please.
Hi, Mrs. Henderson. I'm gonna have to put you on hold. -
Miss Grover, what seems to be the problem now?
Okay, I'm just gonna level with you. My sister is being manipulated
- by the ghost of our dad. - Yes!
I knew it was a ghost. Sorry. Continue.
- Really? - Yeah.
My family is haunted by banshees.
Wow.
Okay, so my sister is being hoodwinked by our dead dad
into a lotto scheme at eight months pregnant,
and my mom isn't doing anything to help us.
- It's not fair. - And I'm the only one not being haunted by my dad,
and Rabbi Barry says that I let go.
- Great. - So I'm right and everyone else is wrong.
Tillie, I'm gonna level with you.
I was hit by a car this week. Okay?
And we cleared your case.
You're off of our books. You received the ashes.
I'm not even really sure how you got my number.
Our system should have automatically cycled you out
to some other inbox.
I found your LinkedIn profile.
Look, suffice it to say, I've got other stuff going on.
Now, everything you told me paints a picture of you being right,
- except for one thing. - What's that?
The fact that you're calling me at all.
Are you real?
After the day I've had, Miss Grover...
...I honestly don't know.
Look, I'm some customer service rep on a lot of painkillers
who can't stop seeing banshees.
But I do know one thing.
Of the two people on this phone call right now,
only one of them needs to be convinced
that you're right, and it's not me.
You are wasted in your field, sir.
Maybe.
Look, if this is not too forward of me,
I'd love to email you my personal phone number
and take you out for a lovely oyster dinner.
Well, I...
You sure know how to keep a girl on her toes,
Owen from Science Care.
I wasn't gonna bring this up, but your dead ex-husband
keeps telling me that I'm a fucking loser,
and so I need you to tell me that you're not writing down
"Carl is a fucking loser" in your book.
I never should have had kids with him.
Not everyone does everything right all the time.
I can't afford to not do everything right all the time.
I'm all they have left, and I'm doing this all on my own.
An exorcism? Really, Frankie?
You wanted me to call Rabbi Barry.
He says this is the way to go.
And you just took his word for it?
You didn't get a second opinion?
How many psychic rabbis do you think there are?
- Uh, seven? - Zero!
I did not give my consent for this, okay?
And Violet was right. You can't just throw me away.
You know, you've never been the brightest bulb on the tree.
I mean, you actually believe in ghosts. How you doing, Carl?
- Hey, would you put me down? - Oh.
- What's happening? - Put me down, please.
Come on, man. I'm getting nauseous.
Let me tell you something. If I was a ghost,
I would haunt the shit out of you! -
I will--
Wow!
Frankie...
What?
- Aw. - ...will you marry me?
Yes, I will!
I love you so much.
I love you.
What the fuck?
♪ Dandelions... ♪
Oh, give me your phone. Give me your phone. Give me your phone.
Give me your phone. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
- Hi. - Tillie.
Uh, update.
Um, your father is poltergeisting the house,
but I am taking charge,
and so you need to go get your grandparents,
and I'll go get Violet, and then we can have the ashes.
- Okay. - Oh. I'm engaged!
Wow. Congrats. Who's the lucky guy?
The guy that gives you all the money.
I worked up such a sweat running all over the place. - Mm-hm.
- Poltergeisting is hard work. - Well, you don't have to poltergeist anymore.
I got your ashes back, and I am...
not gonna let them throw you away again.
- Ah, that's my little bunny. - Yeah.
Listen, turns out Rabbi Barry, obviously a quack.
- Yeah. - Here's what I'm thinking.
Book a ticket to Switzerland.
We put my ashes in that Large Hadron Collider.
Dad, I can't go to Switzerland. I'm so pregnant.
Why? Wh-- wh-- what are you talking about?
Y-- your grandson. I'm due in two weeks.
I'm, like, so pregnant. See?
- I'm, like-- - You know what? Whenever I told your mother
that she looked... pregnant, she did not like it.
Right. Right. Um, Dad, I wanna help you. - You know...
Uh, when you,
when you come back, what do you think is gonna happen?
Hm. Well, likely I'll be exhausted. - Right.
Uh, I would like to have my situation studied.
Also, I'm gonna need to get a place to stay, you know.
Uh, someone to look after me, take care of me.
So, if not you, who else?
You...
you were supposed to be the one taking care of me,
just like I'm gonna have to take care of this fucking kid, 'cause...
'cause I'm having a, a kid.
I'm having a kid.
Fuck! I'm having a kid.
- Well, look who deci-- - Shut the fuck up, Daniel!
Sweetheart, look, I know you don't want to get rid of Dad, but I--
We have to get rid of Dad.
Wow! That was so easy.
Eric, you're the man of the house. Would you please
talk some sense into your soon-to-be baby mama?
Sir, with all due respect, without your daughter,
I'm just the craziest guy most people have ever met.
And while you are my third favorite ghost that I know,
my loyalty lies to my family.
Marry him.
I'm gonna go inside and put the salami back.
I, I felt too guilty to eat it.
Um...
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Um, I watched the reunion, and Larsa is so stupid.
- I love her. - I love her.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sit with me. Sit with me.
Sit with me. Sit with me. Sit with me. - Okay.
- Am I a bad mom? - Not even close.
Spirit, your family is gathered here.
Your remains are gathered here...
...the most spiritual time of all...
...on the full moon.
I miss when Barry was just a lawyer.
We are here to release you. -
We do not wanna do your dirty work no more.
...free your soul!
Be freed from the living...
May you cease to be haunted
by the unresolved feelings of the living...
Be free from the living!
...and the Angayamabana School of Magical Rabbi Studies,
I release you!
This house will be clean!
Spirit, Daniel Grover, we release you.
We release you, Daniel. - Good to meet you, man.
- Thank you for Violet. - It's okay. I'm going to
- take care of the girls. - Good riddance.
Happy trails, man.
We release you.
Goodbye.
Stop throwing shit! People live down here!
Is he still here?
Something's not right.
Can I go inside now?
It's got to be the photos.
Oh, no. I brought the photos.
How did you know she threw them out?
I didn't. I've just been dumpster diving for old photos every night
while you're asleep for an art project.
I didn't know who the guy was, but then I was, like, "Oh, little Violet."
Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that.
I didn't really put it together until right before we came back here.
Then it's something else.
We have to figure it out.
It's me.
Barry, you're wrong.
I disagree, but I wanna see where you're going with this.
I'm not advanced.
I haven't let go.
I'm not resolved.
I thought running away was the same as letting go.
But now I've run a million miles away
from the thing I actually had to deal with.
I was an asshole to my dad for not talking to him for eight years.
I was an asshole to Violet for throwing out all of his shit.
I was an asshole to my mom for making her feel like a bad parent.
I'm such a fucking asshole that not even a ghost will haunt me.
So that begs the question, how did I become such an asshole?
Well, I learned from the fucking best, baby!
Master manipulator,
master asshole,
my dad.
The ghost who I know can hear me! -
Don't you see? This is just another con. -
He never shows himself to me,
and now we can't fucking get rid of him.
The absent father who never leaves!
It's brilliant!
I couldn't wait for him to die
so that I didn't have to deal with avoiding him anymore.
Which is why it's so weird
that I waited outside of the room while he died.
I just couldn't face him.
And now, every night, I dream of his dead face.
My sister was a better daughter than me.
And now my whole family is stuck with him
because I just couldn't be there
for my dying father.
Tillie.
Tillie, it's okay.
It's not okay.
Sweetheart, it's just-- It's really complicated.
I, I'm sure, on some level, you wanted to be with him.
But I wasn't with him.
And we even did a big séance about it,
and maybe you just fucking miss your chance sometimes.
I want it to go away,
but it won't go away.
And maybe I should have been there for him...
when it mattered instead of when I felt like it.
No. God.
How could she say that?
How could she be so detached from reality
that she doesn't know that I love her?
How can you not know that you're fucking dead?
You know a lot of what you said back there just isn't true.
I love you.
And this is not one of my schemes.
I wasn't in my right head back at the hospital. I mean, if I had...
What do you want? Hm?
What do you want?
You want me to admit I'm dead? Okay.
I'm dead.
I am so fucking dead.
I wish you'd answer.
I got a feeling I'm running out of chances.
Maybe you're right after all.
Sometimes you just...
...miss your goddamn chance!
Hey, you remember...
...when you started playing soccer
and you got really upset because you had to play go--
I told you...
...saving the goal is just as important as scoring a goal.
That the goalie's the most powerful position on the team.
And no one is more powerful than my little girl.
♪ I'm sure I'd recognize you ♪
♪ If I lost my memory ♪
♪ There's no voice on Earth ♪
♪ That speaks so sweet ♪
♪ I hope the next lifetime ♪
♪ You'll be somewhere Next to me... ♪
You remember what I told you next?
♪ Like two blades of grass ♪
♪ Beneath a tree... ♪
If any one of those little bitches
comes anywhere near my goal box...
"...I want you to scream
and roar as loud as you can...
...and scare the living shit out of them."
♪ All again... ♪
♪ I've only experienced ♪
♪ A grain of sand with you ♪
♪ If I was a star ♪
♪ I'd always be Right in your view ♪
♪ And someday ♪
♪ I'd hope you'd see me too ♪
♪ I know that It's not always perfect ♪
♪ If I had the chance ♪
♪ I'd do it all again... ♪
Why are my feet wet?
Why are myfeet wet?
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God!
- Ew. - Oh, my God!
- This is it! This is it! - Oh, my...
- Come on. - Oh, my God!
The baby is coming. It's go time!
This is gonna be so fantastic.
♪ At the bottom There's a stir ♪
♪ And now the surface Is a blur ♪
♪ Tell the truth Like it's a joke ♪
♪ And don't fix the part That isn't broke ♪
♪ I know I'm just a memory ♪
♪ And I know That's how it's got to be ♪
♪ So tell the mirror On the wall ♪
♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
♪ There's no reflection Here at all ♪
♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
♪ There's no reflection Here at all ♪
♪ Mm, mm ♪
♪ I'm so tired, I can't sleep ♪
♪ The secrets That my secrets keep ♪
♪ Down the stairway To the church ♪
♪ Blackbirds Hanging in the lurch ♪
♪ And I don't want to See my name in stone ♪
♪ I tied a ribbon 'Round a bone ♪
♪ Took a ride in a yellow car ♪
♪ And I bought myself An old guitar ♪
♪ Things ain't What they used to be ♪
♪ I got a devil after me ♪
♪ Tell the mirror on the wall ♪
♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪
♪ There's no reflection Here at all ♪
- ♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪ - ♪ Oh ♪
♪ There's no reflection ♪
- ♪ Here at all ♪ - ♪ There's no reflection Here at all ♪
- ♪ Mirror, mirror on the wall ♪ - ♪ Oh ♪
♪ There's no reflection Here at all ♪
♪ They're looking high They're looking low ♪
♪ And you got something On your mind ♪
♪ Did someone Give you bad directions? ♪
♪ Were you in the wrong place At the wrong time? ♪
♪ They found a body In the river ♪
♪ They found a note Left in the sand ♪
♪ "Leave my worries To the water ♪
♪ And leave my body To the land" ♪
♪ He won't get off my back ♪
♪ Doesn't see the hammer Coming down... ♪