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NARRATOR:
What you're about to see
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may be dangerous,
illegal, unethical,
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petty, misguided, immoral,
and most definitely stupid.
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But it's also all true.
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Hmm. Sort of.
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- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
- ♪ (JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE SLAVEK:
This all started pretty simply.
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I was just trying to find
my friend Gina.
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Gina.
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NATALIE: The problem was,
I was prescribed
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a new medication.
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- It made me looney tunes.
- ♪ (ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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Perhaps I can help you, darling.
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(GASPS) Hi!
I'm looking for Gina's house.
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Gina's house
is right over that way, Natalie.
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Thank you so much for your help.
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CHESHIRE CAT: Absolutely.
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♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: I walked straight
into the house.
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Gina?
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NATALIE: Gina wasn't there
so I made myself at home.
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- ♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (GRUNTS, CHUCKLES)
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(MUNCHES)
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NATALIE:
And then I got sleepy...
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(SNORES)
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...so I ended up laying down
like Goldilocks, taking a nap.
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- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (YAWNS)
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NATALIE: There were even
three bears,
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just like in "Goldilocks."
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I was very courteous.
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(SLURRING) Care to join me?
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(RATTLING)
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NATALIE: The problem was...
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- (GROUP GASPS)
- ...those weren't bears,
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and this wasn't Gina's house.
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- Who are you?
- ♪ (MUSIC GROWS TENSE, STOPS) ♪
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Whose house was that I was in?
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♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: Hi, my name
is Natalie Slavek,
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and I'm a resident
of Naples, Florida,
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for the last 11 years.
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- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
- (TRAFFIC RUMBLING)
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NATALIE: I have
an infatuation with Naples.
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It is like living in paradise.
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And I thought I should highlight
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these little
odds and end places.
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Well, good morning.
It's Natalie Knows Naples...
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(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
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...and today's Tuesday,
which means...
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That's how I started
Natalie Knows Naples.
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I'm kind of a big deal.
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- I'm Natalie Knows Naples.
- All right.
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Originally, I always made
the mistake
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and said "Natalie Does Naples."
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I'm like, "No. You're thinking
of my cousin in Dallas, Debbie."
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- (LAUGHS)
- (INTERVIEWER LAUGHING)
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ED CAPUTO: I'm Ed Caputo.
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I live
in beautiful Naples, Florida.
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It's kind of rainy
and stormy today,
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but normally, we have
a lot of really great weather,
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and-- aside from
the hurricanes.
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(WIND HOWLING)
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I met Ed about ten years ago.
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She's got just
a bubbly personality,
a lot of fun.
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We just became friends
and followed
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some of her crazy experiences
through the years.
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- (GRUNTS, SIGHS)
- (WAVES CRASHING)
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♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: This story starts
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with an innocent day
at the beach.
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So, I was sipping tequila
in the afternoon.
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(SLURPS)
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I have bipolar disorder.
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It's managed through medication,
but back then...
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it wasn't managed so well.
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Eh, looks pretty good.
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(MUNCHES, SLURPS)
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I end up meeting this woman.
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- Hi.
- NATALIE: She was very nice,
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but the downside is
she liked to drink.
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I like to drink.
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Oh, yeah.
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We go back to the hotel room.
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(CHUCKLES) I like to drink.
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She got wasted.
I'm still sipping on tequila.
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(GROANS)
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My medication says
on the bottle, "No alcohol."
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- (CHUCKLES)
- NATALIE: And so,
when I did my own research,
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I found it's true.
You add a smidge of tequila,
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you don't remember shit.
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"NATALIE": "Smidge of tequila.
You don't remember shit."
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You're blacked out.
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- (SNICKERS)
- (SNICKERS)
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- (LOUD KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- OFFICER BOBBI: Police!
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Uh-oh.
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♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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Well, apparently, the cops
were called to our room.
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Open up! It's the police!
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(DOOR UNLOCKING)
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- Ma'am.
- "NATALIE": Uh-huh.
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- I'm here to address
a noise complaint.
- Uh-huh.
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But I guess I "supposedly"
punched a cop in the chest.
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Eat shit, pig!
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- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)
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NATALIE: I don't even know
how to punch.
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If I did punch, um,
it would have been like this.
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Eat shit, pig! (GRUNTS WEAKLY)
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Apparently, I punch like a girl.
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♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: But they said that
the officer felt threatened.
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So, she took a taser to me...
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(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
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- (GRUNTS, IN SLOW MOTION)
- (SCREAMS, IN SLOW MOTION)
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...and tased me in the abdomen,
in the crotch, and the butt.
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- (SHOUTS)
- (SCREAMS IN SLOW MOTION)
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(TASER CRACKLING)
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- You know, like...
(IMITATES TASER CRACKLING)
- INTERVIEWER: Yeah.
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(LAUGHS)
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- (GRUNTS)
- ♪ (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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- (TASER CRACKLING)
- (GROANS, BLABBERS)
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NATALIE: That's the problem
with the city of Naples.
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They don't have any crime.
They create crime.
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(CONTINUES BLABBERING)
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OFFICER BOBBI:
What you looking at?
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Get your ass off the bed!
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I was charged with battery
on a law enforcement officer.
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- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: It was almost like
I was set up.
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They were determined
to get me on something or other.
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I will get you
for something or other.
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They ended up
dropping the battery charge,
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but they gave me
two years of probation.
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(PRISON ALARM BUZZING)
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- Bullshit.
- NATALIE: They said
if I screwed up again,
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I could get five years
in prison.
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(IN SLOW MOTION)
Five years in prison!
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And I'm like,
"I'm not even violent,
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for fuck's sakes."
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♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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NATALIE: So, fast forward
to the following Wednesday.
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It was court day,
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and I was given
the type of probation
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where, every Wednesday,
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I had to go to court
to see the judge.
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So, I should have been at court,
but I was at the beach.
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For me, my typical day is
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I like to go to the beach
in the morning.
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That gets my,
um, endorphins going.
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Hey, girl!
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I call it my "beachy morning."
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I'm out here
having my beachy morning.
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(LAUGHS)
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So, I was on the phone,
calling everybody.
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It's gorgeous out here.
You should come down here.
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Did you get some underarm Botox
or something?
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I feel like this is a good gloss
for, like, an event.
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- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- I totally remember Vance.
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He tried to fuck me.
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He wants his grandkids
to walk in on him?
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That's disgusting, Brandi!
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- (LAUGHS)
- ("BRANDI" LAUGHING)
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NATALIE: Meanwhile,
I'm not watching the time.
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It's like 1:30, and I have to be
at court at 2:30.
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(SNORTS, SNICKERS)
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Wait, don't you have
court today?
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- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Oh, fuck.
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- (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)
- Oh, fuck! (GASPS)
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♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) ♪
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There was no time
to even change, to go home.
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(PANTS)
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So, I roll up to court
in my bathing suit,
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like that's normal.
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- ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (GRUNTS, PANTS)
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NATALIE: The judge,
he's a jolly guy.
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(PANTING) I made it, Your Honor.
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But he's no pushover.
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What are you wearing
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- in my courtroom?
- (CHUCKLES)
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She was wearing
a very expensive bathing suit.
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It's very expensive.
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And, you know, this thing
comes with a bombshell bra
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from Victoria's Secret.
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So, he was probably looking
at the size of my breasts
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because they're, like, inflated,
like, four times.
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(BOINGING)
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ED: It's not like something
from a dollar store.
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So, she thought it was okay,
but the judge disagreed.
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The judge did not think
it was okay.
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I do not think this is okay.
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So, they put me
on a new medication...
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- (BREATHES HEAVILY)
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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...called Haldol.
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"Haldol."
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You are free to go, Mrs. Slavek.
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- (IN SLOW MOTION) Your Honor!
- (IN SLOW MOTION) Free to go!
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- (GASPS, CHUCKLES)
- ♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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He leaves me
out in the wild to go free.
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You know,
the thing about Haldol...
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(ENGINE REVVING)
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...it's actually prescribed,
generally, for schizophrenia.
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(PILLS RATTLING)
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(GULPS, EXHALES)
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(INHALES, SIGHS)
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- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (BREATHES HEAVILY)
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I had a bad reaction to it.
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(GASPS, GRUNTS)
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- (BLABBERING)
- (POLICE SIREN WAILING)
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NATALIE: The officer
that arrested me was there
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and I was feeling crazy.
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- I'll be watching you, lady.
- ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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It made me delusional,
confused, looney tunes.
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And one day,
I'm taking you down.
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I mean, it was bad.
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(SCREAMS)
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- NATALIE:
I'm in looney tunes mode...
- (TIRES SCREECHING)
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00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,975
- (BLABBERING)
- ...and I'm jonesing
for my vape pen,
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but the battery is dead.
So, I went to this vape shop.
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I don't know
what came over me...
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- (GRUNTS)
- ...but I just needed
a drag so bad.
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- ♪ ("TRYING TO GET
BACK HOME" PLAYING) ♪
- (INHALES, EXHALES)
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They let me vape
till I was ready to pay.
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♪ Oh, hear those songbirds ♪
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♪ Singing at the start
Of the day ♪
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- ♪ I woke up early
I was on my way... ♪
- (MUMBLES, MOANS)
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- NATALIE: Only one problem.
- (COUGHS)
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00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,583
I went to pay,
and my card declined.
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00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:04,793
- ♪ (SONG STOPS) ♪
- (SCANNER BEEPING)
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00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,169
(HESITATES, BREATHES HEAVILY)
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NATALIE: So, apparently,
even though
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00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,799
I couldn't buy
a ten-dollar vape,
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I thought it was a good idea
to go to the car dealership
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and get a new car.
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00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,471
♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
235
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,640
- NATALIE:
So I sit down with this lady...
- (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
236
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,434
...and they were trying to do
the numbers with my car.
237
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,271
- (COMPUTER BEEPING)
- You have zero dollars.
238
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,564
(SIGHS) Oh.
239
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,691
And so I went,
"Oh, my God! I gots to go."
240
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,817
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
241
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,902
NATALIE: And I ran
out of the dealership.
242
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,863
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
243
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,241
NATALIE: Meanwhile,
the vape I couldn't pay for
244
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,659
was getting me in more trouble.
245
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,119
She stole from you.
246
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,912
I got accused of petty theft.
247
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,332
(IN SLOW MOTION) Petty theft!
248
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,251
So, now I look like a thief.
249
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,920
- (INTERVIEWER LAUGHING)
- (LAUGHS)
250
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,007
- ♪ (REGAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)
251
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,133
NATALIE: And somehow, I end up
252
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,344
in this very hoity-toity
neighborhood.
253
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,763
It was a multi-million-dollar
neighborhood
254
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,725
with homes by the beach.
255
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,728
And I'm still so bugged out
on this Haldol,
256
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,438
it's like Fantasy Island
down here.
257
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,357
- You know what I mean?
- ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
258
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,902
- (WHISTLES CHEERFULLY)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING)
259
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:15,989
(LAUGHS)
260
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:21,119
(IN SLOW MOTION)
It's a beautiful day in Naples!
261
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,247
- (ANIMALS LAUGHING)
- (LAUGHS, IN SLOW MOTION)
262
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,375
And then I started trying
to find my friend Gina.
263
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,628
- ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (LEAF-BLOWER WHIRRING)
264
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,422
NATALIE: But I wasn't having
too much luck.
265
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:37,093
Hi! Hi.
I'm looking for my friend Gina.
266
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,595
She lives down by the beach
267
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,931
at a house that looks similar
to the houses that I'm seeing.
268
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,768
She has a house really similar
to the houses that I'm seeing.
269
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,519
ED: So, she's in
this neighborhood
270
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,147
while she hallucinates
about Cheshire cats
271
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,775
and everything else
that goes on in her mind.
272
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,903
- ♪ (ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Ahem!
273
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,197
Perhaps, I can be
of assistance.
274
00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,033
- ♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- To get to Gina's house,
275
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,911
you just go down the street
and turn right.
276
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,371
Are you sure?
277
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,874
Trust me! What's the worst
that could happen?
278
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,001
Thank you so much for your help.
279
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,295
CHESHIRE CAT: Absolutely.
280
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:17,175
Oh, maybe it was a left turn.
Or an upturn. Or a downturn.
281
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,468
Depends which way
you're looking at it,
282
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,762
doesn't it? (LAUGHS)
283
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,013
♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
284
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,682
NATALIE: When I turn the corner,
285
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,851
I immediately see
this one house and I'm like...
286
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,062
That's Gina's house.
287
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,898
NATALIE: What I didn't remember
at the time...
288
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,900
Gina?
289
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,859
...was Gina's dead.
290
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,363
Oh, yes.
Gina's been dead for years.
291
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,156
Should have mentioned that.
292
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,868
Gina, it's me, Natalie.
I'm coming in.
293
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,621
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Obviously, there's a problem
294
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,790
going on with my head
if I'm looking for dead people.
295
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:52,002
Gina! Bitch, where you at, girl?
296
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,338
NATALIE: So, here I am,
trespassing...
297
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,631
"NATALIE": Gine-Gines!
298
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,259
...in the most expensive
neighborhood in America.
299
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,594
And my record
still shows battery
300
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,638
on a law enforcement officer.
301
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,973
That doesn't get deleted.
302
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,475
I've been painted
as a bad person.
303
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,145
- I think she's a bad person.
- That's her, all right.
304
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,563
NATALIE:
And that taser-happy cop...
305
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,190
- Broke bitch.
- ...is out there looking for me.
306
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,650
- (PRISON ALARM BUZZING)
- (CELL DOOR CLOSING)
307
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,069
I can't catch a break
with law enforcement.
308
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,738
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (DISTANT DOG BARKING)
309
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,197
NATALIE: I walked
into the kitchen,
310
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,159
- and there she was.
- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) ♪
311
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,119
NATALIE: Mrs. Myrtle.
312
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,371
She's the actual owner
of the house.
313
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,165
And she's looking at me like,
"Who are you?"
314
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,250
Mrs. Myrtle
wasn't her real name,
315
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,877
but she was a nice old lady.
316
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,378
- Hi.
- Hello?
317
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,838
MRS. MYRTLE: It was bizarre.
318
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,509
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
319
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,303
MRS. MYRTLE: My friends
from California were here
320
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,180
- and we were having coffee.
- ♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
321
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,474
MRS. MYRTLE: It wasn't
really funny, but it was like...
322
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,435
They're sitting there and said,
"What is going on here?"
323
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,603
Who is that?
324
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,730
MRS. MYRTLE: She has
these big pearls on her neck
325
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,814
and a bathing suit.
326
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,150
- Hi.
- I'm confused.
327
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,736
Like, they're confused.
And they're in their nineties.
328
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,279
You know, poor people.
329
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,448
I could have given them
a stroke.
330
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,783
Ooh!
331
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,493
MRS. MYRTLE: We were waiting
for my niece to come.
332
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,702
Her name was Sarah.
333
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,997
- ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Sarah! (CHUCKLES)
334
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,582
MRS. MYRTLE:
My friend from California
335
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,334
has macular degeneration.
336
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,086
(SQUEALS) Sarah,
we've been waiting for you!
337
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,797
- (CHUCKLES) Mm-hmm. Mm!
- Oh, oh!
338
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,133
MRS. MYRTLE: She hugs Natalie
because she thinks it's Sarah.
339
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,718
(MARY LAUGHS, SMOOCHES)
340
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,969
I give this damn lady a hug.
341
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,596
MRS. MYRTLE:
And she says, "I'm Auntie."
342
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,223
It's me, Auntie!
343
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,935
MRS. MYRTLE: And I'm saying,
"Um, that's not Sarah."
344
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,562
- Not Sarah?
- No, Mary, not Sarah.
345
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,357
Then, uh, who... who...
who... who... who are you?
346
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,608
I'm calling the police.
347
00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:42,153
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
348
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,906
- Naples PD?
- There's no need for that, Jim.
349
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:49,160
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Hello? Hello?
350
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,287
MRS. MYRTLE: I would've called
the police immediately,
351
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,872
but I didn't feel
threatened at all.
352
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,499
I was just watching her.
353
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,626
Like, "What on earth
is she doing?"
354
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,337
She just sort of
made herself at home.
355
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,465
(GIGGLES)
356
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,551
MRS. MYRTLE:
And we just kind of sat there
and watched her.
357
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,427
- ("NATALIE" MUNCHING)
- I was very courteous.
358
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,762
(MUMBLES)
You guys want some chips?
359
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,514
And I said,
"I'll just wait for Gina here."
360
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:13,142
I'll just wait for Gina here.
(MUNCHES)
361
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,936
And then I got sleepy.
362
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:18,189
(SNORES)
363
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,358
MRS. MYRTLE:
She goes in the bedroom
and she gets in the bed.
364
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,860
And so there was a bed,
and I'm like,
365
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,403
"Oh, I need a nap."
366
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,988
- ♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- ("NATALIE" SNORING)
367
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,574
NATALIE: I ended up
laying down in that room...
368
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,784
(CHUCKLES) ...taking a nap.
369
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,745
This has gone too far.
I'm calling the authorities.
370
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,832
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
371
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,917
Naples PD.
372
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,127
I said no!
373
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,421
MRS. MYRTLE: She wasn't violent.
She didn't do anything.
374
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:42,589
She just walked in the house
375
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,341
and then took a nap
in the bedroom.
376
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,970
I need you to run a trace
on that last call.
377
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,515
- ♪ ("WE ARE GOLD" PLAYING) ♪
- ♪ We are gold... ♪
378
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:57,020
It was a hot day in Florida
so I jumped in her pool.
379
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,898
MRS. MYRTLE: She does a lap
in the swimming pool.
380
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,610
They let me just do whatever.
381
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,904
Marco!
382
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,405
NATALIE: I still thought
it was Gina's house.
383
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,617
I didn't know I was trespassing.
Yet another crime.
384
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,535
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (ENGINE REVVING)
385
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,539
- (GROANS)
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
386
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,374
♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
387
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,626
MRS. MYRTLE:
I looked at my friend
388
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,961
and I said, "I gotta do
something about this."
389
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,588
I gotta do something about this.
390
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,007
"She's not in her right mind."
391
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,054
I come out and I talk to her,
and I said...
392
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,388
- You need to leave.
- ("NATALIE" GRUNTS)
393
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:35,016
Then I guess I was tired
of being there, so I left.
394
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,394
♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
395
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,772
MRS. MYRTLE: She ran all the way
through the house,
396
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,774
back out the door.
397
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,568
(PANTS)
398
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,281
Thanks for the chips!
399
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,367
MRS. MYRTLE:
She gets in her car,
drives erratically.
400
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,202
- (ENGINE REVVING)
- (TIRES SCREECHING)
401
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,286
MRS. MYRTLE: The three of us
402
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,621
were standing
at the end of the driveway,
403
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,206
and we discuss
what we should do about it.
404
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,167
And I said, "She has no business
being in a car."
405
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,044
The only thing I can do
is call the police.
406
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,880
- ♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (TELEPHONE BEEPING)
407
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,509
MRS. MYRTLE: Because otherwise,
who knows where she'll end up?
408
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,095
NATALIE: I ended up
going down to the beach...
409
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,680
- (SNORES)
- ...and I finally took that nap
410
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:14,889
that I was trying to take.
411
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,016
Hello, Naples Police Department.
412
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,978
- I need to report a--
- (DOORBELL RINGING)
413
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,729
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
414
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,690
"MRS. MYRTLE":
Wow, excellent service.
415
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,149
Where is she?
416
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,903
- (TASER CRACKLING)
- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
417
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,614
MRS. MYRTLE: They got me
to go down to the beach
to identify her.
418
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:36,120
- ♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (SNORES)
419
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,330
MRS. MYRTLE:
And when we found her,
420
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:44,836
she looked confused and dazed,
and not knowing where she was.
421
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,338
(GROANS, HESITATES)
422
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,632
You're mine now.
423
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,385
- (TASER CRACKLES)
- (SCREAMS, IN SLOW MOTION)
424
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,221
REPORTER 1: Police say
that she walked inside the house
425
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,974
because she thought it belonged
to one of her friends.
426
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,893
- ♪ (WHIMSICAL VIOLIN PLAYING) ♪
- The news clip, actually,
just didn't make local news.
427
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,228
It made national news.
428
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,272
They even showed it
in my hometown.
429
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,024
I was mortified.
430
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,818
REPORTER 2: This woman walked
right through the front door
431
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,154
and really made herself at home.
432
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,032
She needs a good hug,
and some clean clothes,
433
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,992
and a husband, probably.
434
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,578
She was on TV,
and it was hilarious.
435
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,662
A guy on the news said,
436
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,623
"On the bizarre scale
of one to ten..."
437
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,753
This was a 11.
This Naples break-in is crazy.
438
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,963
- (CELL DOOR CLOSING)
- They gave me 45 days.
439
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,007
- ♪ (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Oh, no.
440
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,259
NATALIE: So, they booked me in
at the Collier County Jail,
441
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,511
a.k.a. the Collier County Hotel.
442
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,431
(PRISON ALARM BUZZING)
443
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,099
OFFICER BOBBI: Go to bed.
444
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,934
NATALIE: So, after a few days,
445
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,645
I realized
I finally had all this time
446
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,023
to work on my book.
447
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,984
And so, I'm sitting there,
like, Indian style,
448
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,736
curled down, trying to write.
449
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,947
I was having
a classic beachy morning...
450
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,407
I got a couple chapters written.
451
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,575
Rest in peace, Gina.
452
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,619
- And Natalie...
- ED: She came to me and said
453
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,120
she needed some help
with her book.
454
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,205
So, I said, "Fine.
455
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,915
Well, let's start writing
a book together."
456
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,124
She and I
are writing it together.
457
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,667
As you can see,
her name's on here too.
458
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,711
"Edward Caputo
and Natalie Slavek."
459
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,046
Called Cuckoo Girl.
460
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,925
And that's-- The opening chapter
is about that experience.
461
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,928
- ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- I wanted to do the book
to help other people.
462
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,639
There's so many people out there
that have this disease.
463
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,848
I never heard of bipolar
464
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,851
until, basically,
I met Natalie ten years ago.
465
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,480
There's a lot of cuckoo girls
out there, unfortunately.
466
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:31,150
And maybe by sharing the story,
they won't feel quite so alone.
467
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:35,988
The thing about mental illness,
everybody's so dark about it.
468
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,533
I'm just going with the punches,
'cause I like to laugh.
469
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:45,164
I think laughter
is the best medicine out there.
470
00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,333
GROUP: Aw!
471
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:51,713
♪ (PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
472
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,385
NATALIE: I'm living the dream.
I'm in control of my life.
473
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,970
And I'm living the state motto.
474
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,807
"Come here on vacation
and stay on probation."
475
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:07,728
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
476
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,607
I'm also working on, actually,
a screenplay called Endowed,
477
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:14,152
and it's about Charlie Sheen,
who is well-endowed,
478
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,612
gets into doing
pornographic movies.
479
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,866
And the director
and producer are looking to film
480
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,827
a pornographic movie
about the perfect penis.
481
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:23,911
(INTERVIEWER CHUCKLING)
482
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:27,081
And so they're exploring,
you know, like Jon Hamm.
483
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,208
- He's got a reputation for that.
- INTERVIEWER: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
484
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,669
And different people
who might have a perfect penis.
485
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,463
If Charlie Sheen is watching,
call me...
486
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,049
(BLEEP)
487
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,968
- (INTERVIEWER CHUCKLING)
- That's my number.
488
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,929
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
489
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,494
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪