1 00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,296 What you're about to see 2 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,841 may be dangerous, illegal, unethical, 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:13,263 petty, misguided, immoral, and most definitely stupid. 4 00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,932 But it's also all true. 5 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,225 Hmm. Sort of. 6 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,605 This all started pretty simply. 7 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,941 I was just trying to find my friend Gina. 8 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,026 Gina. 9 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,694 The problem was, I was prescribed 10 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,903 a new medication. 11 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:33,198 It made me looney tunes. 12 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,367 Perhaps I can help you, darling. 13 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:40,164 Hi! I'm looking for Gina's house. 14 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:43,792 Gina's house is right over that way, Natalie. 15 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,711 Thank you so much for your help. 16 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:46,963 Absolutely. 17 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:54,595 I walked straight into the house. 18 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,096 Gina? 19 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,223 Gina wasn't there so I made myself at home. 20 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,482 And then I got sleepy... 21 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,736 ...so I ended up laying down like Goldilocks, taking a nap. 22 00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,282 There were even three bears, 23 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,992 just like in "Goldilocks." 24 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,285 I was very courteous. 25 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,704 Care to join me? 26 00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,582 The problem was... 27 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,292 ...those weren't bears, 28 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:26,960 and this wasn't Gina's house. 29 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,755 Who are you? 30 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,549 Whose house was that I was in? 31 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,398 Hi, my name is Natalie Slavek, 32 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:50,567 and I'm a resident of Naples, Florida, 33 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,819 for the last 11 years. 34 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,156 I have an infatuation with Naples. 35 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,659 It is like living in paradise. 36 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,911 And I thought I should highlight 37 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,330 these little odds and end places. 38 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,582 Well, good morning. It's Natalie Knows Naples... 39 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,794 ...and today's Tuesday, which means... 40 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,463 That's how I started Natalie Knows Naples. 41 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,589 I'm kind of a big deal. 42 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,633 - I'm Natalie Knows Naples. - All right. 43 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,926 Originally, I always made the mistake 44 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,594 and said "Natalie Does Naples." 45 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,973 I'm like, "No. You're thinking of my cousin in Dallas, Debbie." 46 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:24,434 I'm Ed Caputo. 47 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,436 I live in beautiful Naples, Florida. 48 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,730 It's kind of rainy and stormy today, 49 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,691 but normally, we have a lot of really great weather, 50 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:32,109 and-- aside from the hurricanes. 51 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,988 I met Ed about ten years ago. 52 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,615 She's got just a bubbly personality, a lot of fun. 53 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,409 We just became friends and followed 54 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,537 some of her crazy experiences through the years. 55 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,960 This story starts 56 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:52,588 with an innocent day at the beach. 57 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,299 So, I was sipping tequila in the afternoon. 58 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,760 I have bipolar disorder. 59 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,848 It's managed through medication, but back then... 60 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,349 it wasn't managed so well. 61 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,685 Eh, looks pretty good. 62 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,440 I end up meeting this woman. 63 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,650 - Hi. -She was very nice, 64 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,527 but the downside is she liked to drink. 65 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,946 I like to drink. 66 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,406 Oh, yeah. 67 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,074 We go back to the hotel room. 68 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,243 I like to drink. 69 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,329 She got wasted. I'm still sipping on tequila. 70 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,000 My medication says on the bottle, "No alcohol." 71 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:33,295 And so, when I did my own research, 72 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,505 I found it's true. You add a smidge of tequila, 73 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:36,673 you don't remember shit. 74 00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:40,302 "NATALIE": "Smidge of tequila. You don't remember shit." 75 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,595 You're blacked out. 76 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,016 Police! 77 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,100 Uh-oh. 78 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,896 Well, apparently, the cops were called to our room. 79 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,317 Open up! It's the police! 80 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:57,778 - Ma'am. - "NATALIE": Uh-huh. 81 00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,405 - I'm here to address a noise complaint. - Uh-huh. 82 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,116 But I guess I "supposedly" punched a cop in the chest. 83 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,493 Eat shit, pig! 84 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,162 I don't even know how to punch. 85 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,456 If I did punch, um, it would have been like this. 86 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,167 Eat shit, pig! 87 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,086 Apparently, I punch like a girl. 88 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,051 But they said that the officer felt threatened. 89 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,846 So, she took a taser to me... 90 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,561 ...and tased me in the abdomen, in the crotch, and the butt. 91 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,859 - You know, like... -Yeah. 92 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,410 That's the problem with the city of Naples. 93 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,288 They don't have any crime. They create crime. 94 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:52,749 What you looking at? 95 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,876 Get your ass off the bed! 96 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,963 I was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer. 97 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,636 It was almost like I was set up. 98 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,347 They were determined to get me on something or other. 99 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,683 I will get you for something or other. 100 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,227 They ended up dropping the battery charge, 101 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:14,646 but they gave me two years of probation. 102 00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,817 - Bullshit. -They said if I screwed up again, 103 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,569 I could get five years in prison. 104 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:24,114 Five years in prison! 105 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,074 And I'm like, "I'm not even violent, 106 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,284 for fuck's sakes." 107 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,664 So, fast forward to the following Wednesday. 108 00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,332 It was court day, 109 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,751 and I was given the type of probation 110 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,210 where, every Wednesday, 111 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,879 I had to go to court to see the judge. 112 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:42,550 So, I should have been at court, but I was at the beach. 113 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,844 For me, my typical day is 114 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:48,013 I like to go to the beach in the morning. 115 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,724 That gets my, um, endorphins going. 116 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,059 Hey, girl! 117 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,310 I call it my "beachy morning." 118 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,187 I'm out here having my beachy morning. 119 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,774 So, I was on the phone, calling everybody. 120 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,692 It's gorgeous out here. You should come down here. 121 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,819 Did you get some underarm Botox or something? 122 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,113 I feel like this is a good gloss for, like, an event. 123 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,656 I totally remember Vance. 124 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:07,783 He tried to fuck me. 125 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,993 He wants his grandkids to walk in on him? 126 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:11,995 That's disgusting, Brandi! 127 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,000 Meanwhile, I'm not watching the time. 128 00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:20,170 It's like 1:30, and I have to be at court at 2:30. 129 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,423 Wait, don't you have court today? 130 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,926 Oh, fuck. 131 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,970 Oh, fuck! 132 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,525 There was no time to even change, to go home. 133 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,070 So, I roll up to court in my bathing suit, 134 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,154 like that's normal. 135 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,243 The judge, he's a jolly guy. 136 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,788 I made it, Your Honor. 137 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,373 But he's no pushover. 138 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,166 What are you wearing 139 00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,043 in my courtroom? 140 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,795 She was wearing a very expensive bathing suit. 141 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,004 It's very expensive. 142 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:06,216 And, you know, this thing comes with a bombshell bra 143 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,176 from Victoria's Secret. 144 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,555 So, he was probably looking at the size of my breasts 145 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,850 because they're, like, inflated, like, four times. 146 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,770 It's not like something from a dollar store. 147 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,064 So, she thought it was okay, but the judge disagreed. 148 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,732 The judge did not think it was okay. 149 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,402 I do not think this is okay. 150 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,904 So, they put me on a new medication... 151 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:34,871 ...called Haldol. 152 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,205 "Haldol." 153 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,875 You are free to go, Mrs. Slavek. 154 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:45,131 - Your Honor! - Free to go! 155 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,597 He leaves me out in the wild to go free. 156 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,141 You know, the thing about Haldol... 157 00:07:57,351 --> 00:08:00,270 ...it's actually prescribed, generally, for schizophrenia. 158 00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,661 I had a bad reaction to it. 159 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:20,957 The officer that arrested me was there 160 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,375 and I was feeling crazy. 161 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,669 I'll be watching you, lady. 162 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:28,590 It made me delusional, confused, looney tunes. 163 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,426 And one day, I'm taking you down. 164 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,761 I mean, it was bad. 165 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,265 I'm in looney tunes mode... 166 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,975 ...and I'm jonesing for my vape pen, 167 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:42,729 but the battery is dead. So, I went to this vape shop. 168 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,439 I don't know what came over me... 169 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,150 ...but I just needed a drag so bad. 170 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,072 They let me vape till I was ready to pay. 171 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,157 ♪ Oh, hear those songbirds ♪ 172 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,117 ♪ Singing at the start Of the day ♪ 173 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:59,287 ♪ I woke up early I was on my way... ♪ 174 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,581 Only one problem. 175 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,583 I went to pay, and my card declined. 176 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,338 So, apparently, even though 177 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,799 I couldn't buy a ten-dollar vape, 178 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,968 I thought it was a good idea to go to the car dealership 179 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,135 and get a new car. 180 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:18,640 So I sit down with this lady... 181 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,434 ...and they were trying to do the numbers with my car. 182 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:23,271 You have zero dollars. 183 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,564 Oh. 184 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,691 And so I went, "Oh, my God! I gots to go." 185 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,902 And I ran out of the dealership. 186 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,241 Meanwhile, the vape I couldn't pay for 187 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,659 was getting me in more trouble. 188 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,119 She stole from you. 189 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,912 I got accused of petty theft. 190 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,332 Petty theft! 191 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,251 So, now I look like a thief. 192 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,133 And somehow, I end up 193 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,344 in this very hoity-toity neighborhood. 194 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,763 It was a multi-million-dollar neighborhood 195 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,725 with homes by the beach. 196 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,728 And I'm still so bugged out on this Haldol, 197 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,438 it's like Fantasy Island down here. 198 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,357 You know what I mean? 199 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:21,119 It's a beautiful day in Naples! 200 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,375 And then I started trying to find my friend Gina. 201 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,422 But I wasn't having too much luck. 202 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:37,093 Hi! Hi. I'm looking for my friend Gina. 203 00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,595 She lives down by the beach 204 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,931 at a house that looks similar to the houses that I'm seeing. 205 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,768 She has a house really similar to the houses that I'm seeing. 206 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,519 So, she's in this neighborhood 207 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,147 while she hallucinates about Cheshire cats 208 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,775 and everything else that goes on in her mind. 209 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,903 Ahem! 210 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,197 Perhaps, I can be of assistance. 211 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,033 To get to Gina's house, 212 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,911 you just go down the street and turn right. 213 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,371 Are you sure? 214 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:07,874 Trust me! What's the worst that could happen? 215 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,001 Thank you so much for your help. 216 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,295 Absolutely. 217 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:17,175 Oh, maybe it was a left turn. Or an upturn. Or a downturn. 218 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,468 Depends which way you're looking at it, 219 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,762 doesn't it? 220 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,682 When I turn the corner, 221 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,851 I immediately see this one house and I'm like... 222 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,062 That's Gina's house. 223 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,898 What I didn't remember at the time... 224 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,900 Gina? 225 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,859 ...was Gina's dead. 226 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,363 Oh, yes. Gina's been dead for years. 227 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,156 Should have mentioned that. 228 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,868 Gina, it's me, Natalie. I'm coming in. 229 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,621 Obviously, there's a problem 230 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,790 going on with my head if I'm looking for dead people. 231 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:52,002 Gina! Bitch, where you at, girl? 232 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,338 So, here I am, trespassing... 233 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,631 "NATALIE": Gine-Gines! 234 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,259 ...in the most expensive neighborhood in America. 235 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,594 And my record still shows battery 236 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,638 on a law enforcement officer. 237 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,973 That doesn't get deleted. 238 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,475 I've been painted as a bad person. 239 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,145 - I think she's a bad person. - That's her, all right. 240 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,563 And that taser-happy cop... 241 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,190 - Broke bitch. - ...is out there looking for me. 242 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,069 I can't catch a break with law enforcement. 243 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,197 I walked into the kitchen, 244 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,159 and there she was. 245 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,119 Mrs. Myrtle. 246 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,371 She's the actual owner of the house. 247 00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,165 And she's looking at me like, "Who are you?" 248 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,250 Mrs. Myrtle wasn't her real name, 249 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,877 but she was a nice old lady. 250 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,378 - Hi. - Hello? 251 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,838 It was bizarre. 252 00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:43,303 My friends from California were here 253 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,180 and we were having coffee. 254 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,474 It wasn't really funny, but it was like... 255 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:50,435 They're sitting there and said, "What is going on here?" 256 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,603 Who is that? 257 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,730 She has these big pearls on her neck 258 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,814 and a bathing suit. 259 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,150 - Hi. - I'm confused. 260 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,736 Like, they're confused. And they're in their nineties. 261 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,279 You know, poor people. 262 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,448 I could have given them a stroke. 263 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,783 Ooh! 264 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,493 We were waiting for my niece to come. 265 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,702 Her name was Sarah. 266 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,997 Sarah! 267 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,582 My friend from California 268 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,334 has macular degeneration. 269 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,086 Sarah, we've been waiting for you! 270 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,797 - Mm-hmm. Mm! - Oh, oh! 271 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,133 She hugs Natalie because she thinks it's Sarah. 272 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,969 I give this damn lady a hug. 273 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,596 And she says, "I'm Auntie." 274 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,223 It's me, Auntie! 275 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,935 And I'm saying, "Um, that's not Sarah." 276 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,562 - Not Sarah? - No, Mary, not Sarah. 277 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:37,357 Then, uh, who... who... who... who... who are you? 278 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,608 I'm calling the police. 279 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,906 - Naples PD? - There's no need for that, Jim. 280 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:49,160 Hello? Hello? 281 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,287 I would've called the police immediately, 282 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,872 but I didn't feel threatened at all. 283 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,499 I was just watching her. 284 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,626 Like, "What on earth is she doing?" 285 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,337 She just sort of made herself at home. 286 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,551 And we just kind of sat there and watched her. 287 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,427 I was very courteous. 288 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,762 You guys want some chips? 289 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,514 And I said, "I'll just wait for Gina here." 290 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:13,142 I'll just wait for Gina here. 291 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,936 And then I got sleepy. 292 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,358 She goes in the bedroom and she gets in the bed. 293 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,860 And so there was a bed, and I'm like, 294 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,403 "Oh, I need a nap." 295 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,574 I ended up laying down in that room... 296 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,784 ...taking a nap. 297 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,745 This has gone too far. I'm calling the authorities. 298 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,917 Naples PD. 299 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,127 I said no! 300 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,421 She wasn't violent. She didn't do anything. 301 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:42,589 She just walked in the house 302 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,341 and then took a nap in the bedroom. 303 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,970 I need you to run a trace on that last call. 304 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,515 ♪ We are gold... ♪ 305 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:57,020 It was a hot day in Florida so I jumped in her pool. 306 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,898 She does a lap in the swimming pool. 307 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,610 They let me just do whatever. 308 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,904 Marco! 309 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,405 I still thought it was Gina's house. 310 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,617 I didn't know I was trespassing. Yet another crime. 311 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,626 I looked at my friend 312 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:21,961 and I said, "I gotta do something about this." 313 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,588 I gotta do something about this. 314 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,007 "She's not in her right mind." 315 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,054 I come out and I talk to her, and I said... 316 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,388 You need to leave. 317 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:35,016 Then I guess I was tired of being there, so I left. 318 00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,772 She ran all the way through the house, 319 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:41,774 back out the door. 320 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,281 Thanks for the chips! 321 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,367 She gets in her car, drives erratically. 322 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,286 The three of us 323 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,621 were standing at the end of the driveway, 324 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,206 and we discuss what we should do about it. 325 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,167 And I said, "She has no business being in a car." 326 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,044 The only thing I can do is call the police. 327 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,509 Because otherwise, who knows where she'll end up? 328 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,095 I ended up going down to the beach... 329 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,680 ...and I finally took that nap 330 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:14,889 that I was trying to take. 331 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,016 Hello, Naples Police Department. 332 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,978 I need to report a-- 333 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,690 "MRS. MYRTLE": Wow, excellent service. 334 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,149 Where is she? 335 00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,614 They got me to go down to the beach to identify her. 336 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,330 And when we found her, 337 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:44,836 she looked confused and dazed, and not knowing where she was. 338 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:49,632 You're mine now. 339 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,221 Police say that she walked inside the house 340 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,974 because she thought it belonged to one of her friends. 341 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,893 The news clip, actually, just didn't make local news. 342 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,228 It made national news. 343 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,272 They even showed it in my hometown. 344 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,024 I was mortified. 345 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,818 This woman walked right through the front door 346 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,154 and really made herself at home. 347 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,032 She needs a good hug, and some clean clothes, 348 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,992 and a husband, probably. 349 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,578 She was on TV, and it was hilarious. 350 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,662 A guy on the news said, 351 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,623 "On the bizarre scale of one to ten..." 352 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,753 This was a 11. This Naples break-in is crazy. 353 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:28,963 They gave me 45 days. 354 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,007 Oh, no. 355 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,259 So, they booked me in at the Collier County Jail, 356 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,511 a.k.a. the Collier County Hotel. 357 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,099 Go to bed. 358 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,934 So, after a few days, 359 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,645 I realized I finally had all this time 360 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,023 to work on my book. 361 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:49,984 And so, I'm sitting there, like, Indian style, 362 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,736 curled down, trying to write. 363 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,947 I was having a classic beachy morning... 364 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,407 I got a couple chapters written. 365 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,575 Rest in peace, Gina. 366 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,619 - And Natalie... -She came to me and said 367 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,120 she needed some help with her book. 368 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,205 So, I said, "Fine. 369 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,915 Well, let's start writing a book together." 370 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,124 She and I are writing it together. 371 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,667 As you can see, her name's on here too. 372 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,711 "Edward Caputo and Natalie Slavek." 373 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,046 Called Cuckoo Girl. 374 00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,925 And that's-- The opening chapter is about that experience. 375 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,928 I wanted to do the book to help other people. 376 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,639 There's so many people out there that have this disease. 377 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,848 I never heard of bipolar 378 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,851 until, basically, I met Natalie ten years ago. 379 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,480 There's a lot of cuckoo girls out there, unfortunately. 380 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:31,150 And maybe by sharing the story, they won't feel quite so alone. 381 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:35,988 The thing about mental illness, everybody's so dark about it. 382 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,533 I'm just going with the punches, 'cause I like to laugh. 383 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:45,164 I think laughter is the best medicine out there. 384 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,333 Aw! 385 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,385 I'm living the dream. I'm in control of my life. 386 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,970 And I'm living the state motto. 387 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,807 "Come here on vacation and stay on probation." 388 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,607 I'm also working on, actually, a screenplay called Endowed, 389 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:14,152 and it's about Charlie Sheen, who is well-endowed, 390 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,612 gets into doing pornographic movies. 391 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,866 And the director and producer are looking to film 392 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,827 a pornographic movie about the perfect penis. 393 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:27,081 And so they're exploring, you know, like Jon Hamm. 394 00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,208 He's got a reputation for that. Yeah. 395 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,669 And different people who might have a perfect penis. 396 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,463 If Charlie Sheen is watching, call me... 397 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,968 That's my number.