1
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:08,841
<i>What you're about to see may be dangerous,
illegal, unethical,</i>

2
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:13,263
<i>petty, misguided, immoral,
and most definitely stupid.</i>

3
00:00:13,972 --> 00:00:15,807
<i>But it's also all true.</i>

4
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:17,892
<i>Sort of.</i>

5
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,772
<i>This all started pretty simply.</i>

6
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,941
<i>I was just trying to find my friend Gina.</i>

7
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,026
Gina.

8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,737
<i>The problem was
I was prescribed a new medication.</i>

9
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,281
<i>It made me looney tunes.</i>

10
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,243
Perhaps I can help you, darling.

11
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:40,122
Hi! I'm looking for Gina's house.

12
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,251
Gina's house is
right over that way, Natalie.

13
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,755
- Thank you so much for your help.
- Absolutely.

14
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,345
<i>I walked straight into the house.</i>

15
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:55,930
Gina?

16
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,099
<i>Gina wasn't there,
so I made myself at home.</i>

17
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,149
<i>And then I got sleepy,</i>

18
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:10,403
<i>so I ended up laying down
like Goldilocks, taking a nap.</i>

19
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,992
<i>There were even
three bears just like in "Goldilocks."</i>

20
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,244
<i>I was very courteous.</i>

21
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,954
Care to join me?

22
00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:23,500
<i>The problem was</i>

23
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,960
<i>those weren't bears,
and this wasn't Gina's house.</i>

24
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,129
Who are you?

25
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,549
Whose house was that I was in?

26
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,607
<i>Hi, my name is Natalie Slavek,</i>

27
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,694
<i>and I'm a resident of Naples, Florida,
for the last 11 years.</i>

28
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,740
<i>I have an infatuation with Naples.</i>

29
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,284
It is like living in paradise.

30
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:03,330
And I thought I should highlight
these little odds and end places.

31
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,959
<i>Well, good morning.
It's Natalie Knows Naples...</i>

32
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,794
<i>...and today's Tuesday which means...</i>

33
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,839
<i>That's how I started Natalie Knows Naples.</i>

34
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,633
I'm kind of a big deal.
I'm Natalie Knows Naples.

35
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,594
Originally, I always made the mistake
and said "Natalie Does Naples."

36
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,807
I'm like, "No. You're thinking
of my cousin in Dallas, Debbie."

37
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,979
<i>I'm Ed Caputo.
I live in beautiful Naples, Florida.</i>

38
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,730
It's kind of rainy and stormy today,

39
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,732
but normally, we have a lot
of really great weather

40
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,026
aside from the hurricanes.

41
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,864
I met Ed about ten years ago.

42
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,324
She's got just a bubbly personality,
a lot of fun.

43
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,033
We just became friends

44
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,996
and followed some of her crazy experiences
through the years.

45
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,880
This story starts
with an innocent day at the beach.

46
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:55,175
<i>So, I was sipping tequila
in the afternoon.</i>

47
00:02:56,384 --> 00:03:00,554
I have bipolar disorder.
It's managed through medication,

48
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,848
but back then...

49
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,225
it wasn't managed so well.

50
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:05,685
Looks pretty good.

51
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,316
I end up meeting this woman.

52
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,609
- Hi.
<i>- She was very nice,</i>

53
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,403
but the downside is she liked to drink.

54
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,905
I like to drink.

55
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,199
Oh, yeah.

56
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,117
We go back to the hotel room.

57
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,619
I like to drink.

58
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,246
She got wasted.
I'm still sipping on tequila.

59
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,918
My medication says on the bottle,
"No alcohol."

60
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,921
And so, when I did my own research,
I found it's true.

61
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,382
You add a smidge of tequila,
you don't remember shit.

62
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,969
"Smidge of tequila,
you don't remember shit."

63
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,471
You're blacked out.

64
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:45,600
Police!

65
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:46,976
Uh-oh.

66
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,813
Well, apparently,
the cops were called to our room.

67
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:54,234
Open up! It's the police!

68
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,530
Ma'am,
I'm here to address a noise complaint.

69
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,116
But I guess I "supposedly"
punched a cop in the chest.

70
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,494
Eat shit, pig!

71
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,162
<i>I don't even know how to punch.</i>

72
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,456
If I did punch,
it would have been like this.

73
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:10,541
Eat shit, pig!

74
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,003
Apparently, I punch like a girl.

75
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,009
<i>But they said that the officer
felt threatened.</i>

76
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,764
So, she took a Taser to me...

77
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,479
and tased me in the abdomen,
in the crotch, and the butt.

78
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,776
- You know, like...
- Yeah.

79
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,410
<i>That's the problem
with the city of Naples.</i>

80
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,122
They don't have any crime.
They create crime.

81
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,127
What you looking at?
Get your ass off the bed!

82
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:57,922
I was charged with battery
on a law enforcement officer.

83
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,636
<i>It was almost like I was set up.</i>

84
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,347
<i>They were determined
to get me on something or other.</i>

85
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,933
I will get you for something or other.

86
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,227
They ended up dropping the battery charge,

87
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:14,480
but they gave me two years of probation.

88
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:17,899
Bullshit.

89
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,694
<i>They said if I screwed up again,
I could get five years in prison.</i>

90
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,614
Five years in prison!

91
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,201
And I'm like,
"I'm not even violent, for fuck's sakes."

92
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,497
<i>So, fast forward
to the following Wednesday.</i>

93
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,332
It was court day,

94
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,751
and I was given the type of probation

95
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,879
where, every Wednesday,
I had to go to court to see the judge.

96
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,465
<i>So, I should have been at court,</i>

97
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,550
<i>but I was at the beach.</i>

98
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,555
<i>For me, my typical day is I like to go
to the beach in the morning.</i>

99
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,682
That gets my... endorphins going.

100
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,017
Hey, girl.

101
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,227
I call it my "beachy morning."

102
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,104
I'm out here having my beachy morning.

103
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,691
So, I was on the phone, calling everybody.

104
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,692
It's gorgeous out here.
You should come down here.

105
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,819
Did you get some underarm Botox
or something?

106
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,114
I feel like this is a good gloss
for, like, an event.

107
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,783
I totally remember Vance.
He tried to fuck me.

108
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:11,913
He wants his grandkids to walk in on him?
That's disgusting, Brandi!

109
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,000
<i>Meanwhile, I'm not watching the time.</i>

110
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:20,129
It's like 1:30
and I have to be at court at 2:30.

111
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,341
<i>Wait, don't you have court today?</i>

112
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:25,843
Oh, fuck.

113
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,554
Oh, fuck!

114
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,234
There was no time to even change,
to go home.

115
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,030
So, I roll up to court in my bathing suit,
like that's normal.

116
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,993
<i>The judge, he's a jolly guy.</i>

117
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,788
I made it, Your Honor.

118
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,289
But he's no pushover.

119
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,502
What are you wearing in my courtroom?

120
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,795
She was wearing
a very expensive bathing suit.

121
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,922
It's very expensive.

122
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:06,216
And, you know, this thing comes
with a bombshell bra

123
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,385
from Victoria's Secret.

124
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,596
So, he was probably looking
at the size of my breasts

125
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,434
because they're like inflated
like four times.

126
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,770
<i>It's not like something
from a dollar store.</i>

127
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,982
So, she thought it was okay,
but the judge disagreed.

128
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,732
The judge did not think it was okay.

129
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,402
I do not think this is okay.

130
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,822
So, they put me on a new medication...

131
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:34,912
<i>called Haldol.</i>

132
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,205
"Haldol."

133
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,958
You are free to go, Mrs. Slavek.

134
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:44,964
- Your Honor!
- Free to go!

135
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,805
He leaves me out in the wild to go free.

136
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,349
<i>You know, the thing about Haldol...</i>

137
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,188
it's actually prescribed,
generally, for schizophrenia.

138
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:16,579
I had a bad reaction to it.

139
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,375
<i>The officer that arrested me was there
and I was feeling crazy.</i>

140
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:23,836
I'll be watching you, lady.

141
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,379
<i>And it made me delusional,</i>

142
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,590
confused, looney tunes.

143
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,426
And one day, I'm taking you down.

144
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,678
I mean, it was bad.

145
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:40,185
<i>I'm in looney tunes mode, and I'm jonesing
for my vape pen, but the battery is dead.</i>

146
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,979
So, I went to this vape shop.

147
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:46,484
<i>I don't know what came over me,
but I just needed a drag so bad.</i>

148
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,989
They let me vape till I was ready to pay.

149
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,957
<i>Only one problem.</i>

150
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,501
I went to pay, and my card declined.

151
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:10,049
<i>So, apparently even though
I couldn't buy a ten-dollar vape,</i>

152
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,011
I thought it was a good idea to go
to the car dealership and get a new car.

153
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,640
<i>So, I sit down with this lady,</i>

154
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,352
and they were trying to do the numbers
with my car.

155
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,271
You have zero dollars.

156
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,608
And so I went, "Oh my God! I gots to go."

157
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,695
<i>And I ran out of the dealership.</i>

158
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:37,577
<i>Meanwhile, the vape I couldn't pay for
was getting me in more trouble.</i>

159
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,036
She stole from you.

160
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,830
I got accused of petty theft.

161
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,207
Petty theft!

162
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,002
So, now I look like a thief.

163
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,678
<i>And, somehow, I ended up
in this very hoity-toity neighborhood.</i>

164
00:09:56,345 --> 00:10:00,933
It was a multi-million-dollar neighborhood
with homes by the beach.

165
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,645
<i>And I'm still so bugged out
on this Haldol.</i>

166
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,356
It's like <i>Fantasy Island</i> down here.
You know what I mean?

167
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:20,244
It's a beautiful day in Naples!

168
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:27,293
And then I started trying
to find my friend Gina.

169
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,297
<i>But I wasn't having too much luck.</i>

170
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:37,093
Hi. Hi. I'm looking for my friend Gina.

171
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,595
She lives down by the beach

172
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,307
at a house that looks similar
to the houses that I'm seeing.

173
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,768
She has a house really similar
to the houses that I'm seeing.

174
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:49,147
So, she's in this neighborhood
while she hallucinates about Cheshire cats

175
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,692
and everything else
that goes on in her mind.

176
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,694
Ahem.

177
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,031
Perhaps I can be of assistance.

178
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:02,911
To get to Gina's house, you just go down
the street and turn right.

179
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,246
Are you sure?

180
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:07,708
Trust me.
What's the worst that could happen?

181
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:11,212
- Thank you so much for your help.
- Absolutely.

182
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:17,175
Maybe it was a left turn.
Or an upturn. Or a downturn.

183
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,095
Depends which way you're looking at it,
doesn't it?

184
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:26,518
<i>When I turn the corner, I immediately
see this one house, and I'm like...</i>

185
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,937
That's Gina's house.

186
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,898
<i>What I didn't remember at the time...</i>

187
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,982
Gina?

188
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,694
...was Gina's dead.

189
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:39,782
Oh, yes. Gina's been dead for years.
Should have mentioned that.

190
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,743
Gina, it's me, Natalie. I'm coming in.

191
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,038
Obviously, there's a problem going on

192
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,708
with my head
if I'm looking for dead people.

193
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,002
Gina! Bitch, where you at, girl?

194
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,004
<i>So, here I am trespassing...</i>

195
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,172
Gine, Gines!

196
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,218
<i>...in the most expensive neighborhood
in America.</i>

197
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:03,513
And my record still shows
battery on a law enforcement officer.

198
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,932
That doesn't get deleted.

199
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,475
<i>I've been painted as a bad person.</i>

200
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,311
- I think she's a bad person.
- That's her, all right.

201
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,813
<i>And that taser-happy cop...</i>

202
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,815
Broke bitch.

203
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,942
<i>...is out there looking for me.</i>

204
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,987
I can't catch a break
with law enforcement.

205
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,491
<i>I walked into the kitchen,
and there she was.</i>

206
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:28,164
<i>Mrs. Myrtle.
She's the actual owner of the house.</i>

207
00:12:28,372 --> 00:12:30,082
And she's looking at me like,
"Who are you?"

208
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,753
<i>Mrs. Myrtle wasn't her real name,
but she was a nice old lady.</i>

209
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,337
- Hi.
- Hello?

210
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,797
It was bizarre.

211
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,554
My friends from California were here
and we were having coffee.

212
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,057
It wasn't really funny, but it was like...

213
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,435
They're sitting there and said,
"What is going on here?"

214
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,479
Who is that?

215
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,773
<i>She has these big pearls on her neck
and a bathing suit.</i>

216
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,900
- Hi.
- I'm confused.

217
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,736
Like, they're confused.
And they're in their nineties.

218
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,365
You know, poor people.
I could have given them a stroke.

219
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,702
We were waiting for my niece to come.
Her name was Sarah.

220
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,121
Sarah!

221
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:14,334
My friend from California
has macular degeneration.

222
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,213
Sarah, we've been waiting for you!

223
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,051
She hugs Natalie
because she thinks it's Sarah.

224
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,969
I give this damn lady a hug.

225
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,472
And she says, "I'm Auntie."

226
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,223
It's me, Auntie!

227
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,519
And I'm saying, "That's not Sarah."

228
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,480
- Not Sarah?
- No, Mary, not Sarah.

229
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:38,526
- Then... who are you?
- I'm calling the police.

230
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,155
Naples PD?

231
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,907
There's no need for that, Jim.

232
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:48,702
Hello? Hello?

233
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:52,831
<i>I would've called the police immediately,
but I didn't feel threatened at all.</i>

234
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:56,543
I was just watching her.
Like, "What on earth is she doing?"

235
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,379
Well, she just sort of
made herself at home.

236
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,301
<i>And we just kind of sat there
and watched her.</i>

237
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,262
I was very courteous.

238
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,762
You guys want some chips?

239
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,056
And I said,
"I'll just wait for Gina here."

240
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,517
I'll just wait for Gina here.

241
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:14,854
And then I got sleepy.

242
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,358
She goes in the bedroom,
and she gets in the bed.

243
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,320
And so, there was a bed,
and I'm like, "Oh, I need a nap."

244
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,449
<i>I ended up laying down in that room...</i>

245
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:29,784
taking a nap.

246
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,705
This has gone too far.
I'm calling the authorities.

247
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,917
Naples PD.

248
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:38,669
I said no!

249
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,255
She wasn't violent.
She didn't do anything.

250
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:44,300
<i>She just walked in the house
and then took a nap in the bedroom.</i>

251
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:48,470
I need you to run
a trace on that last call.

252
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,061
It was a hot day in Florida,
so I jumped in her pool.

253
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,898
She does a lap in the swimming pool.

254
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,610
They let me just do whatever.

255
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,820
Marco!

256
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:09,157
<i>I still thought it was Gina's house.
I didn't know it was trespassing.</i>

257
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,534
<i>Yet another crime.</i>

258
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,961
I looked at my friend and I said,
"I gotta do something about this."

259
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,504
I gotta do something about this.

260
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,965
She's not in her right mind.

261
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,930
<i>I come out and I talk to her,
and I said...</i>

262
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,222
You need to leave.

263
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,934
Then I guess I was tired of being there,
so I left.

264
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,649
She ran all the way through the house,
back out the door.

265
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,406
Thanks for the chips.

266
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,242
She gets in her car, drives erratically.

267
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,537
The three of us were standing
at the end of the drive,

268
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,206
and we discuss what we should do about it.

269
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,167
And I said,
"She has no business being in a car.

270
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,212
<i>The only thing I can do
is call the police."</i>

271
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,509
Because, otherwise,
who knows where she'll end up?

272
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:11,512
<i>I ended up going down to the beach,</i>

273
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,723
and I finally took that nap
that I was trying to take.

274
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,602
Hello, Naples Police Department.
I need to report a--

275
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:24,650
- Wow, excellent service.
- Where is she?

276
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,490
They got me to go down to the beach
to identify her.

277
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:42,250
<i>And when we found her,
she looked confused and dazed,</i>

278
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,670
and not knowing where she was.

279
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,966
You're mine now.

280
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,138
<i>Police say she walked inside the house...</i>

281
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,974
...because she thought it belonged
to one of her friends.

282
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:01,060
The news clip, actually,
just didn't make local news.

283
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:04,189
It made national news.
They even showed it in my hometown.

284
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,024
I was mortified.

285
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,901
<i>This woman walked
right through the front door</i>

286
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:11,071
<i>and really made herself at home.</i>

287
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,574
She needs a good hug,
and some clean clothes,

288
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,909
and a husband, probably.

289
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,454
She was on TV, and it was hilarious.

290
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:22,623
A guy on the news said,
"On the bizarre scale of one to ten..."

291
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,712
This was a 11.
This Naples break-in is crazy.

292
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,839
They gave me 45 days.

293
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,468
<i>So, they booked me in
at the Collier County Jail,</i>

294
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,429
a.k.a. the Collier County Hotel.

295
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:39,807
Go to bed.

296
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,976
<i>So, after a few days,</i>

297
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:45,981
<i>I realized I finally had all of this time
to work on my book.</i>

298
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,526
And so,
I'm sitting there like Indian style,

299
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,612
<i>curled down, trying to write.</i>

300
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,740
I was having a classic beachy morning...

301
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,407
I got a couple chapters written.

302
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,910
Rest in peace, Gina.

303
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,996
<i>She came to me and said
she needed some help with her book.</i>

304
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,874
So, I said, "Fine. Well,
let's start writing a book together."

305
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:05,250
She and I are writing it together.

306
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,629
As you can see, her name's on here too.
"Edward Caputo and Natalie Slavek."

307
00:18:08,962 --> 00:18:09,922
Called <i>Cuckoo Girl.</i>

308
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,759
And that's the opening chapter
is about that experience.

309
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,512
I wanted to do the book
to help other people.

310
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,597
There's so many people out there
that have this disease.

311
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,644
I never heard of bipolar until,
basically, I met Natalie ten years ago.

312
00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,189
There's a lot of cuckoo girls out there, unfortunately.

313
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:31,026
And maybe by sharing the story,
they won't feel quite so alone.

314
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:35,531
The thing about mental illness,
everybody's so dark about it.

315
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,533
I'm just going with the punches,
'cause I like to laugh.

316
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,994
I think laughter
is the best medicine out there.

317
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,040
I think laughter
is the best medicine out there.

318
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,261
<i>I'm living the dream.
I'm in control of my life.</i>

319
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,928
And I'm living the state motto.

320
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:02,724
"Come here on vacation
and stay on probation."

321
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:11,524
I'm also working on, actually,
a screenplay called <i>Endowed,</i>

322
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:14,068
and it's about Charlie Sheen,
who is well-endowed,

323
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,612
gets into doing pornographic movies.

324
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,949
And the director
and producer are looking to film

325
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,744
a pornographic movie
about the perfect penis.

326
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,998
And so they're exploring, you know,
like Jon Hamm.

327
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,583
He's got a reputation for that.

328
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,586
And different people
who might have a perfect penis.

329
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,506
If Charlie Sheen is watching,
call me...

330
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,135
That's my number.