[wind blowing]
[Lightning] Don't worry, cowboy.
IN TRIBUTE TO MORRIS AND GOSCINNY
I'll let you live.
-But it will be worse. -[metal clangs]
[rumbling faintly]
[wind blowing intensely]
It will be worse because I'll be all around you.
[panting]
Far into the desert.
In everything you hear...
[clanging]
...my name will be there.
[breath trembling]
In everything you see...
[clanging]
...my name will be there.
[high-pitched ringing]
In the whispering wind...
[exhales softly]
...my name will be there.
Under each heavy footstep you take...
[breath trembling]
...is my name
My name will be that wall you endlessly run into.
[ominous whistling echoes]
And you'll be afraid, cowboy.
Afraid even of your shadow.
[shuddering]
[ominous whistling continues]
-[♪ tense music playing] -[Young Luke breathing heavily]
[ricochets, gunshot echoes]
[squelching]
[♪ ominous music playing]
[breathing heavily]
[screaming]
[♪ western music playing]
CHAPTER VIII BACK TO THE ROOTS
[birds cawing]
ALBUQUERQUE 10 MILES AND DUST
[flies buzzing]
[birds chirping in distance]
[horse whinnies]
[birds continue chirping in distance]
[Charlie] Lincoln's convoy passed through here.
Not far from where we used to live.
[Louise] You okay?
I'm doing well. Why?
Well, we're gonna have to face the man who almost killed you.
It's more like he's gonna have to face us. [chuckles softly]
Okay, so here we are.
I'm being serious, and you're acting all tough.
Well, of course I am. Because we're three against one,
and together we're stronger.
[Louise] I'm so scared something will happen to you.
[birds shrieking in distance]
[horse brays]
[distant explosions echo]
[♪ tense music playing]
[distant explosions continue]
[♪ tense music continues]
[guns firing]
[people chattering indistinctly]
[Luke] It's the convoy. Looks like they're boxed in.
Look at the soldiers on the ground.
The bodies with the gray and red uniforms are Sentinels,
the President's personal guard.
They were obviously blindsided.
[gunshots continue, echoes]
[ominous whistling echoing]
[Lightning] In everything you hear, in everything you see,
my name will be there.
[Charlie] Yoo-hoo.
Hey... [snaps fingers] Analysis of the situation.
Okay.
Uphill, there are shooters hiding in the rocks.
And downhill, the wagons have been blown up.
But no cannon fire.
So either they're out of artillery, or they've been sabotaged like that one.
-[people screaming in distance] -[guns firing]
Did you hear that cracking?
It's a Sharps 59. It's coming from the wagons.
[Charlie] There's a sniper keeping the enemy in check.
With all the sentinels that have fallen, he won't hold that long.
In other words, we need to figure out how to cross a 300-yard open field
with a bunch of heavily armed, trigger-happy idiots watching us.
Yeah. [sighs]
We're gonna need a battle plan that's...
-Daring. -Imprudent.
Suicidal.
Stupid, then.
[both] Stupid.
[crows cawing]
[♪ whimsical western music playing]
-[man 1] Just give up. -[man 2] Freeze!
[men grunting]
[gun fires]
[♪ whimsical western music continues]
-[man 3] This is the one. -[man 4] Up there!
[sighs wearily] Stupid.
[gun firing]
[grunting]
[♪ intriguing music playing]
[gunshots ricochet]
[panting]
[grunting]
-[man yells indistinctly] -What?
It worked in The Odyssey. Ulysses hid under the sheep's belly.
The problem, bushes just don't walk!
-What was your idea? You drew a blank. -[guns firing]
-[cracks] -[Luke grunts]
[grunts softly, inhales]
[man screaming] Ceasefire!
I surrender!
No more lives.
Do you hear me?
I surrender!
But my Winchester doesn't!
-[♪ military flute music playing] -It's the President.
[grunts]
Move it! Hurry up!
[gunshots ricochet]
Hurry.
-[man groans] -Whoo!
Hell of a change from Congress.
[♪ battle song continues]
[Lincoln] They should leave us alone for a while.
Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States, ready to serve.
[laughs]
I'm so happy to see you, Luke. How long has it been?
-Almost three years, Mr. President. -[Lincoln] That's so funny.
I was thinking of old friends, how I should invite them to Washington,
and pow, here we are together under siege in New Mexico.
Talk about kismet.
We're not here by chance, Mr. President.
What do you mean?
[♪ intriguing music playing]
There's gonna be a coup?
Come on, we just won the election.
Really, these guys have no patience.
No, but they do have guns, Mr. President.
-So we're here to rescue you. -[gun fires]
Oh, is that why you brought your team?
Now I get it!
Between us, the lonesome cowboy who doesn't wash, talk, or smile.
A bit outdated and cliché, if you know what I mean?
-Does make me sad, though. -Are your defenses strong?
Yes, of course.
At least so far.
They attacked us by surprise, but my men fought tooth and nail.
I sent a fire team behind enemy lines to neutralize their cannons.
The mission must have been successful. Otherwise, they would have wiped us out.
But none of them came back alive.
Ever since then, we've held on.
-Did you try to escape? -[Lincoln] Of course.
But from above, they've got us surrounded on all three sides
And ever since they captured our wagon over there,
they've closed our rear flank.
Okay, we're surrounded.
However... Mmm.
Luckily, we have an excellent sniper to keep the enemy in check.
Me.
[♪ military flute music playing]
[man groans]
[gun fires in distance]
I've always been a Wild West man at heart.
I can feel it in my bones. It awakens something in me.
I feel so much more alive.
And if there's one thing that I've learned so far
is that the river rat needs to come home right now.
[echoing]
The river rat needs to come home right now!
[man] The river rat can't right now.
It's a code.
I sent him to retrieve the ammo off the bodies.
River Rat Bambini!
I mean, Corporal Bambini, come back right away!
-[gunshot ricochets] -[whimpers] Impossible.
What do you mean, impossible? What's wrong with you?
-[bullet ricochets] -[yelps]
What are you waiting for, Bambini?
-For Congress to pass a law against lazy-- -[gun fires]
-[Bambini] Mr. President. -Look over there.
[gun firing]
Ah, it must be one of the men I sent to sabotage the cannons over there.
[♪ gripping music playing]
[Lincoln] Come on, hurry up.
-[Bambini panting] -That's all? How many are there?
Thirty-seven.
Count them again.
-[exhales] -[shushes] It's fine.
I'd lost hope, Sergeant.
Pierce, Mr. President.
[gun fires in distance]
[inhales] I'm the only survivor.
It's as bad as Gettysburg. It's not a pretty sight.
[Pierce sighs]
Permission to resupply and go back and fight,
-Mr. President. -[gun fires in distance]
All their cannons are destroyed, but they still have shooters.
-[Lincoln] Nice work, Sergeant. -Breathe. Come on.
Hey, the other side of the lines, did you see where the enemy was hiding?
[softly] Yeah. Why?
Because we're gonna need you.
[eagles cawing]
[clinking, thuds]
Well, we don't have enough bullets to hold them off.
-Oh, Bambini can always go and find some. -Huh?
That won't help in the long run.
[whimpers softly]
[Luke] Mr. President, we have to attempt a breakout.
You want us to flee? Like Southerners?
I don't take sides, Mr. President. I take action.
[clinking, thuds]
This is the rallying point.
We are in the middle.
The enemy is here and here.
Because you already eliminated 23 of their men,
they will have to redeploy.
He's right.
Thanks to the President's sharpshooting on their left flank,
they all rallied here and found shelter on the higher ground.
Which means that...
by crossing both of their firing angles...
[Louise] Now there's a blind spot.
[Charlie] But the last ten yards
before the rallying point is exposed to rain.
Which means we'll die.
Unless, of course.
We could cover our entire bodies with metal plates. Look at these.
They put a bunch of these all over the wagons.
We'll slide these under our clothes to protect us.
We're gonna destroy 'em.
Mr. President, with all due respect to you,
-I honestly doubt-- -Well, if push comes to shove, it fails.
We run away, Zee wins, the system collapses,
she kills people and makes Bambini your toy.
Wait, what? Now, why would I become a toy?
And as for me, I'll fake my own death.
Then I'll come join your little team.
Then, altogether, we can go to the plains in South Dakota.
Just a bunch of outlaws hunting outlaws,
tracking men and rewards, the renegades.
Okay. Or we evacuate in two separate groups.
You three go with Pierce and Bambini to find reinforcements.
They've already crossed enemy lines, they'll be able to guide you.
The men and I will create a diversion to fool them.
They'll concentrate their gunfire on us so you can escape.
We'll hold them for as long as necessary.
[birds chirping]
Let's go.
[♪ solemn western music playing]
[Louise] You can't stay here.
I mean, we need you. With us.
Right now, they need my help here.
What if something goes wrong?
I've got things to tell you.
One more reason to save the country, and its freedom of speech.
Eh?
Don't worry.
[♪ solemn western music continues]
You'll take care of the girls?
Uh, I mean, all of them.
-Everyone. -[Pierce chuckles softly]
[gun fires in distance]
[wind blowing]
[guns firing in distance]
-Hey, you okay? -No.
For courage.
[sighs in relief]
Mr. President.
Would you like some?
[gun fires in distance]
Just a second. Can I try?
[thuds]
I know that smell, and I know you
[sniffs]
It's chloroform.
It's chloro-what?
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
What the hell is going on, Pierce?
That's not Pierce.
He took the uniform off his dead body,
But he forgot this little detail.
The Red Badge of Courage.
It's for those who fought in Pittsburgh.
Except he couldn't have been there.
It happened on the same day as the worst battle he ever saw.
Gettysburg.
Almost 200 miles from Pittsburgh.
Sentinels.
[♪ tense music playing]
[guns firing in distance]
[thunder rumbling]
[♪ ominous music playing]
[thunder rumbling]
[whistling ominously]
[shudders]
[ominous whistling continues]
[♪ western music playing]
[♪ eerie chime music playing]
[thud reverberates]
[ominous whistling continues]
[clicks]
What are you doing?
But the right question isn't that.
The right question is...
are all of your weapons pointed the right way?
-[shudders] -[gun clicks]
[♪ gripping music playing]
[♪ music ends]
[♪ solemn guitar music playing]
We've been waiting for your signal.
[horse clops]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE
AND THE SELF-DETERMINATION OF THE POPULATION
[♪ suspenseful music continues]
[eagle screeching]
[inhales, sighs]
I put you all the way over here
so you could enjoy the scent of the pine trees.
It's impressive how smells can bring back memories.
As I recall, we're not far away.
It's like coming home.
You can smell gunpowder...
-Fear. -[shudders]
-Blood. -[muffled gun firing]
Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.
Look at the one who spared your life
when he could have easily killed you instead?
-[spits] -[gasps]
[grunts softly]
[♪ slow, dramatic music playing]
Hmm.
[Zee] It's time for you to sign, Lincoln.
Eight letters, one period, and it's over.
You really think I'm gonna hand you over New Mexico?
Yes. And in all legality.
A first step in renewing the United States.
Or plunge it into chaos?
How dare you mention chaos when you've destroyed all our values?
You promised everything to the people, including freedom to all.
Freedom to speak, think, and own land.
That's not what the people need.
All they need is order and rules to follow.
To know where their place is.
So I'll make sure it all gets restored.
All empathy and progress.
Even your pathetic abolition.
-I'll dismantle everything. -Yeah, great fantasy you've got there.
How many men do you have left? Four.
Exact number of times I'll politely ask.
And I politely ask you to fuck off now.
[groans softly]
One down, and next will be your private, and I'll rip his eyes out.
-After that, your corporal. -Not her toy.
Not her toy.
[♪ tense music playing]
[gun cocks]
I'll sign.
This is bad.
[Louise grunts softly]
[snaps]
[Charlie whispers] Why are you smiling?
[whispers] I dislocated my finger.
And that makes you smile?
Yeah, it's the right one.
[chuckles faintly]
[sighs in relief]
Thank you for such a presidential gesture.
And God bless America.
I doubt he'll bless your America.
Maybe you should ask him for me.
[♪ gripping music playing]
-[muffled gunshot, ringing] -[gasps]
[♪ tense music playing]
[thuds]
Long lived the state of New New Mexico.
[men cheering]
This is the start of a new era.
[men continue cheering]
Finally, we have obtained what we wanted.
-Go, go, go! -Louise! Louise!
The Declaration.
She stole my declaration!
[Lightning] Come on, guys, let's hunt her down.
-Come on, guys. -Piece of shit.
[men yelling indistinctly]
[♪ tense music continues]
Your daughter's got courage.
You didn't raise her so badly after all.
-It almost pains me to have to do this. -[clicks]
-[gasps]
Damn it. [groans]
[grunts]
You have to save our Louise.
[both grunting]
[Charlie grunts]
[panting]
[♪ tense music playing]
[both grunting]
[groans]
[both grunting]
[groaning]
[Zee screams]
[both groaning]
[♪ tense music continues]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
-[screams] -[clangs]
[thuds]
[both grunting]
[Charlie breathing heavily]
[Lincoln groans]
[♪ valiant music playing]
[Charlie] Mr. President?
[exhales in relief]
[Lincoln] Wow.
-Now that's what you call protection. -[sighs in relief]
[groans]
[sputtering]
[growls]
-[thuds] -[winces]
[gun fires in distance]
[♪ tense music playing]
I'm gonna kill ya.
[both grunting]
-[man groans] -[gun clicks]
[Louise screams in distance] Help! No!
Let me go!
No, I don't wanna go!
Help!
-No! -[clicks]
[♪ dramatic western music playing]
[Lightning] No sudden moves.
Gun in your holster.
My trigger finger's twitchy.
Shoot!
[♪ dramatic western music continues]
[Lightning] Look at his hand.
He won't. He's afraid he'll miss.
He also knows I'm a quicker draw than him.
[gunshot reverberates]
In order not to tremble, you must have a heart of stone.
[breathing heavily]
But you decided to let them back into your life
Now you're paralyzed.
-You won't be able to save her. -Yes, you will!
Shoot!
[♪ dissonant music playing]
[shudders]
[thunder rumbling]
Do you hear it coming, Luke?
The miracle?
It's that special moment when lightning strikes the same place
where it did before.
[Jane] Today's second lesson is, in the West,
If someone wears sleeves, it's not because they're cold,
it's to hide the cards.
[both grunting]
Do you see, Luke? He's a cheater.
That's what makes him quicker.
[♪ tense music playing]
[gunshot echoing]
[♪ tense music continues]
[scoffs]
[clanging]
[clanging. hissing]
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
[sighs]
-[grunts] -[screams]
[sighs]
[♪ pensive music playing]
[shudders softly]
[sighs in relief]
[♪ tense music playing]
[gun clicks]
-[gun fires] -[whimpers]
I told you I'd kill ya.
[thuds]
[♪ dramatic western music playing]
[Louise chuckles softly]
I wanted to know what it felt like to be the real Calamity.
[Lincoln] Legends are sometimes written in the present.
I myself had the privilege of witnessing it today.
And in this battle that took place, between darkness and democracy,
darkness almost won.
That was without counting on our saviors.
Those stars that show us the light and the darkness.
It's with deep emotion that I acknowledge today
the courage, the inner strength and selflessness
of one of our most remarkable figures, a true hero from the Wild West.
Someone who, I must admit, I've always been a fan of.
The one and only Calamity Jane.
[all applauding]
Mr. President, this is an honor.
Since you've read my book...
[Muybridge sighs]
Excuse me. Sorry, would you mind holding this for me, please? Thank you.
What are you doing here?
Oh, well, I'm here with Mrs. Jane for her book
-What do you mean? -She didn't mention it?
We're relaunching the franchise as a photo-novel.
Calamity Jane Volume 3.
Title's mine. Real feats caught in the act.
There's action and emotion, 100% authentic.
She told me the whole story. [sighs]
Like earlier in the forest, when she took on 32 desperadoes
before saving you all.
Thank goodness she was there. [chuckles softly]
-[sighs in relief] -Well, then, um...
Did she save us to save us or for her book, then?
[Jane] Muybridge, photograph.
[clears throat] Find your places, please. [chuckles softly]
Are you ready, Mr. President?
Stand still.
[camera flashing]
[horse brays]
[♪ solemn music playing]
[sighs wearily]
[Luke clears throat]
That was really super intense.
Hmm.
You said a lot of things.
And we avoided saying a lot of things.
This means you'll be leaving, am I right?
[chuckles softly]
[Jane] Come on, Muybridge. We're out of here.
-I've got work to do. -[Muybridge] Coming, coming.
Joe's on the run again. He robbed Marshall City.
You know him. While he was playing marshal protecting the bank,
he ended up robbing the bank.
[Muybridge groans]
Okay, I think I have everything.
No, hold on. I'm sorry.
Miss, over there. What's your name?
-Me? -[Muybridge] Yes, you. What's your name?
It's for the book. Your name is Louise...
-[♪ solemn music continues] -[inaudible]
Lucky.
Her name is Lucky Louise.
[♪ triumphant music playing]
On three.
One, two...
[camera flashing]
[animal howling]
[♪ slow, introspective western music playing]
END