1
00:00:28,235 --> 00:00:30,927
[pencil scratching on paper]

2
00:00:46,184 --> 00:00:48,289
[pencil continues scratching,
then stops abruptly]

3
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,113
♪ ♪

4
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,135
♪ ♪

5
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,157
♪ ♪

6
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,179
♪ ♪

7
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:34,706
[music stops abruptly]

8
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,196
[wind howling]

9
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,556
[wind whistling]

10
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,878
[thumping]

11
00:03:19,716 --> 00:03:21,994
[grunting]

12
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:29,899
JEM: Father in heaven,

13
00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:32,315
I kneel before you today...

14
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,733
in your omnipotent presence...

15
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,601
to ask
that you grant me strength.

16
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,572
The strength to power
through all the tasks today,

17
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,574
whether little or big.

18
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,202
I know it is by your will
that I live, O Lord.

19
00:03:57,340 --> 00:04:00,240
And I know it is also
by your will

20
00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:02,759
that I will not go weak today.

21
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:04,968
I will not go lazy...

22
00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,628
nor will I fail
to do the things

23
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,803
that are set before me.

24
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,149
[shower water running]

25
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,978
[water stops]

26
00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:18,879
Thank you for your
everlasting presence, Lord,

27
00:04:19,017 --> 00:04:22,331
and in Jesus’ name I pray.

28
00:04:22,469 --> 00:04:24,091
[whispering]:
In the name of the Father,

29
00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:26,093
the Son and the Holy Spirit.

30
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,821
Amen.

31
00:04:32,893 --> 00:04:34,964
♪ ♪

32
00:04:42,178 --> 00:04:45,043
JEM: Um, I’m gonna
be going away for a few days.

33
00:04:45,181 --> 00:04:48,771
I won’t be that long,
but your-your mother’s here,

34
00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:52,361
and-and she... um...

35
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:55,191
[sighs] You know.

36
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:58,953
Anyway, I just thought
to let you know

37
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,301
I’m going away and, uh...

38
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:06,823
♪ ♪

39
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,312
[Jem sighs]

40
00:05:14,762 --> 00:05:16,971
[footsteps receding]

41
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:22,114
[door closes]

42
00:05:23,012 --> 00:05:25,083
♪ ♪

43
00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:28,397
[Jem sighs]

44
00:05:33,056 --> 00:05:36,094
-♪ ♪
-[no dialogue]

45
00:05:40,823 --> 00:05:44,205
[Jem inhales sharply, exhales]

46
00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:48,796
[engine starts, idling]

47
00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:59,497
[engine revving]

48
00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:10,197
♪ ♪

49
00:06:38,467 --> 00:06:40,538
♪ ♪

50
00:06:56,277 --> 00:06:58,348
[engine revving]

51
00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:03,975
♪ ♪

52
00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:13,502
[engine stops]

53
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,016
[panting softly]

54
00:08:01,032 --> 00:08:03,034
[water trickling]

55
00:08:41,141 --> 00:08:42,832
REPORTER [over radio]:
Viking, North and South Utsire,

56
00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:44,282
Forties.

57
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,456
Southwesterly,
veering northwesterly,

58
00:08:46,595 --> 00:08:50,253
six to gale eight,
perhaps severe gale nine later.

59
00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:52,255
Rain, then wintry showers,

60
00:08:52,393 --> 00:08:55,224
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

61
00:08:55,362 --> 00:08:57,364
Cromarty, Forth, Tyne, Dogger.

62
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,642
Southwesterly,
veering westerly,

63
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:02,507
five to seven,
occasionally gale eight.

64
00:09:02,645 --> 00:09:04,095
Rain, then showers,

65
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:06,442
moderate or good.

66
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,307
Fisher, southwesterly,
veering westerly,

67
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:13,311
six to gale eight,
perhaps severe gale nine later.

68
00:09:13,449 --> 00:09:15,555
-[tying shoe]
-Rain, then wintry showers,

69
00:09:15,693 --> 00:09:18,523
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

70
00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:20,421
German Bight, Humber.

71
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,907
Southwesterly,
veering westerly,

72
00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:24,805
seven to severe gale nine,

73
00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:27,877
decreasing six in Humber later.

74
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:29,569
Rain, then showers,

75
00:09:29,707 --> 00:09:31,881
moderate or poor,
becoming good.

76
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:36,403
Thames, Dover, Wight,
Portland, Plymouth.

77
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:38,785
Southwesterly,
six to gale eight,

78
00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:41,442
occasionally severe gale nine,
veering...

79
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,617
[insects trilling]

80
00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:49,209
[bird calling in distance]

81
00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:07,814
[wind gusting]

82
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,661
[wind howling]

83
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:34,634
-[wind whistling]
-[leaves rustling]

84
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,579
[engine starts]

85
00:10:54,343 --> 00:10:56,414
[wind continues howling]

86
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:27,859
["Solitude" by Black Sabbath
playing in distance]

87
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,146
[panting]

88
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,406
[takes deep breath]

89
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,444
-["Solitude" continues]
-♪ Is less♪

90
00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:08,106
♪ My future is shrouded♪

91
00:12:08,244 --> 00:12:12,283
♪ In dark wilderness♪

92
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:19,946
-♪ Sunshine is far away♪
-[faint, distant clattering]

93
00:12:20,084 --> 00:12:23,743
♪ Clouds linger on♪

94
00:12:26,711 --> 00:12:28,540
[sets down glasses]

95
00:12:28,678 --> 00:12:31,129
-♪ Everything I possessed♪
-[music volume lowers]

96
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,995
♪ Now they are gone♪

97
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:37,515
♪ They are gone♪

98
00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:43,590
♪ They are gone♪

99
00:12:56,879 --> 00:13:00,089
[takes deep breath]

100
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,648
♪ Oh, where can I go to?♪

101
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:12,136
♪ And what can I do?♪

102
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:19,488
♪ Nothing can please me♪

103
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:23,561
-♪ Only thoughts are of you♪
-[clicking]

104
00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:28,462
[clicking]

105
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,223
♪ You just laughed♪

106
00:13:30,361 --> 00:13:35,366
♪ When I begged you to stay♪

107
00:13:39,370 --> 00:13:42,028
♪ I’ve not stopped crying♪

108
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:45,031
♪ Since you went away♪

109
00:13:45,169 --> 00:13:49,069
-[wind howling]
-♪ You went away♪

110
00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:53,833
♪ You went away♪

111
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:02,669
[water pouring]

112
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,746
[sets down kettle]

113
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:15,993
[picks up mugs]

114
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:19,789
[sets mugs on table]

115
00:14:28,005 --> 00:14:31,353
♪ The world is a lonely place♪

116
00:14:31,491 --> 00:14:34,874
♪ You’re on your own♪

117
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,089
♪ Guess I will go home♪

118
00:14:43,227 --> 00:14:46,402
♪ Sit down and moan♪

119
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,031
♪ Crying and thinking♪

120
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:57,793
♪ Is all that I do♪

121
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,525
♪ Memories I have♪

122
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:10,392
♪ Remind me of you♪

123
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,773
♪ Of you♪

124
00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:16,536
♪ Of you♪

125
00:15:26,442 --> 00:15:28,997
[spoon clinking in mug]

126
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:30,619
[clinking stops]

127
00:15:30,757 --> 00:15:32,483
[sets spoon on table]

128
00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:34,726
♪ ♪

129
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:46,186
[exhales]

130
00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:58,267
♪ The world is a lonely place♪

131
00:15:58,405 --> 00:16:02,306
♪ You’re on your own♪

132
00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:05,136
[Velcro ripping, rummaging]

133
00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:09,727
♪ Guess I will go home♪

134
00:16:09,865 --> 00:16:13,627
♪ Sit down and moan♪

135
00:16:18,149 --> 00:16:20,807
♪ Crying and thinking♪

136
00:16:20,945 --> 00:16:24,811
♪ Is all that I do♪

137
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:32,439
♪ Memories I have♪

138
00:16:32,577 --> 00:16:37,341
♪ Remind me of you♪

139
00:16:37,479 --> 00:16:40,033
-♪ Of you♪
-[clicking]

140
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:44,900
♪ Of you.♪

141
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:48,386
Our inheritance.

142
00:16:54,151 --> 00:16:56,187
[rain pattering]

143
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:04,299
-[burbling]
-[fire rumbling softly]

144
00:17:12,686 --> 00:17:14,757
[rain pattering]

145
00:17:22,144 --> 00:17:24,043
[sighs]

146
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:35,019
[clears throat softly]

147
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,747
[sighs]

148
00:17:41,784 --> 00:17:43,579
[sighs]

149
00:17:46,272 --> 00:17:48,205
[sighs]

150
00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:03,703
[sniffs]

151
00:18:04,773 --> 00:18:06,257
Thank you.

152
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,955
Bless us, O Lord,
and these thy gifts...

153
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:18,752
...which we are
about to receive.

154
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:23,964
Through Christ our Lord,
we pray.

155
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,449
["On the Beach" by Neil Young
playing]

156
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:31,179
♪ All my pictures are fallin’♪

157
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:38,600
♪ From the wall where
I placed them yesterday♪

158
00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:41,085
[Jem humming softly]

159
00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:44,330
♪ The world is turnin’♪

160
00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:51,958
♪ Get outta town♪

161
00:18:54,961 --> 00:18:58,620
♪ Think I’ll get outta town♪

162
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:10,528
♪ Get outta town♪

163
00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:15,223
♪ Think I’ll get outta town♪

164
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:24,508
♪ I head for the sticks♪

165
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:27,821
♪ With my bus and friends♪

166
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,272
[blankets rustling]

167
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,309
♪ I follow the road♪

168
00:19:32,447 --> 00:19:35,622
♪ Though I don’t know
where it ends♪

169
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,522
-♪ Get outta town♪
-[Jem clears throat]

170
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,834
♪ Get outta town♪

171
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,871
[Jem groans softly]

172
00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:46,909
♪ Think I’ll
get outta town...♪

173
00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:49,188
20 years, huh?

174
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,366
Bless you, brother.

175
00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:56,678
Fuck off.

176
00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,991
[song stops]

177
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:19,390
[quiet, heavy breathing]

178
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,011
♪ ♪

179
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,377
♪ ♪

180
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,365
♪ ♪

181
00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:47,996
[music stops abruptly]

182
00:21:50,343 --> 00:21:52,380
[crying softly]

183
00:22:02,769 --> 00:22:05,634
[sniffling]

184
00:22:06,739 --> 00:22:08,499
[sighs]

185
00:22:08,637 --> 00:22:10,743
[sobbing softly]

186
00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:15,161
[whimpers]

187
00:22:18,647 --> 00:22:20,131
NESSA: Brian.

188
00:22:20,269 --> 00:22:22,548
[sniffling]

189
00:22:28,968 --> 00:22:30,452
Brian.

190
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:35,043
[continues crying]

191
00:22:38,874 --> 00:22:40,531
[sniffling]

192
00:22:50,196 --> 00:22:51,508
[kisses]

193
00:22:58,998 --> 00:23:00,896
Oh, sweetie.

194
00:23:01,034 --> 00:23:03,071
[crying continues]

195
00:23:09,629 --> 00:23:11,631
BRIAN: Where is he gone?

196
00:23:11,769 --> 00:23:13,909
NESSA: Who?

197
00:23:14,047 --> 00:23:15,566
Your dad?

198
00:23:15,704 --> 00:23:17,672
BRIAN: Has he gone to see him?

199
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:23,885
But what the fuck
has he got to do with it, Mum?

200
00:23:25,611 --> 00:23:27,509
-What has he got to do with it?
-Everything.

201
00:23:27,647 --> 00:23:28,993
BRIAN: What?

202
00:23:30,132 --> 00:23:32,514
[breathing heavily]

203
00:23:34,102 --> 00:23:35,586
Why’d you hurt that lad, eh?

204
00:23:35,724 --> 00:23:37,208
He was
fucking asking for it, Mum.

205
00:23:37,346 --> 00:23:39,107
-Brian.
-[sniffles]

206
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,249
Did he say something
about your dad?

207
00:23:43,387 --> 00:23:45,078
Jem is my dad.

208
00:23:46,390 --> 00:23:48,461
Or he said something about Ray?

209
00:23:48,599 --> 00:23:50,912
Well, if you know so much,
then why are you asking me?

210
00:23:51,050 --> 00:23:53,639
Don’t be so cheeky.

211
00:23:53,777 --> 00:23:55,779
I’m just trying to talk to you.

212
00:24:01,301 --> 00:24:02,682
You nearly murdered that lad.

213
00:24:02,820 --> 00:24:04,339
Do you hear me?

214
00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:06,928
One more killer in the family.
Who’s counting?

215
00:24:08,964 --> 00:24:10,759
Ray’s not a killer.

216
00:24:12,381 --> 00:24:16,006
And even if he was one,
does it mean you have to be?

217
00:24:18,387 --> 00:24:19,596
Eh?

218
00:24:20,562 --> 00:24:22,253
Come here.

219
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:30,952
Ray’s not a killer.

220
00:24:31,090 --> 00:24:33,161
♪ ♪

221
00:24:40,962 --> 00:24:42,653
[whispering]:
Our Father who art in heaven,

222
00:24:42,791 --> 00:24:44,413
hallowed be thy name.

223
00:24:44,552 --> 00:24:46,588
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done

224
00:24:46,726 --> 00:24:48,210
as it is in heaven.

225
00:24:48,348 --> 00:24:49,660
Give us this day
our daily bread,

226
00:24:49,798 --> 00:24:51,179
and forgive us our trespasses

227
00:24:51,317 --> 00:24:53,043
as we forgive those
who trespass against us.

228
00:24:53,181 --> 00:24:55,286
♪ ♪

229
00:25:13,822 --> 00:25:15,790
NESSA: Dear Ray,

230
00:25:15,928 --> 00:25:17,723
I’m not sure you’ll even
get this letter

231
00:25:17,861 --> 00:25:19,656
or read it, even.

232
00:25:23,245 --> 00:25:25,558
So in the fact of hope
and answered prayers

233
00:25:25,696 --> 00:25:27,111
you’ll be reading this one,

234
00:25:27,249 --> 00:25:30,011
I want to start
by asking how you are.

235
00:25:32,358 --> 00:25:35,050
The silence still burns
after all the years.

236
00:25:35,188 --> 00:25:37,225
And I often wonder
if you think about me.

237
00:25:37,363 --> 00:25:38,502
Us.

238
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,055
[gasps softly]

239
00:25:48,788 --> 00:25:50,928
[bed creaking]

240
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,003
JEM: Did you read it?

241
00:26:01,870 --> 00:26:03,458
Did you read it?

242
00:26:12,225 --> 00:26:15,090
No, I didn’t fucking read it.

243
00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:19,647
♪ ♪

244
00:26:41,530 --> 00:26:44,464
♪ ♪

245
00:27:01,999 --> 00:27:04,036
♪ ♪

246
00:27:24,781 --> 00:27:26,817
♪ ♪

247
00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:35,136
Whoo!

248
00:27:35,274 --> 00:27:37,725
[fire crackling]

249
00:27:56,053 --> 00:27:57,883
[opens drawer]

250
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,644
[clears throat softly]

251
00:28:00,782 --> 00:28:02,577
[closes drawer]

252
00:28:10,412 --> 00:28:13,277
[sets glasses on table]

253
00:28:13,415 --> 00:28:17,765
"Give strong drink unto him
that is ready to perish,

254
00:28:17,903 --> 00:28:21,044
and wine unto the bitter
in soul."

255
00:28:21,182 --> 00:28:23,460
-JEM: Amen.
-[Ray sighs]

256
00:28:23,598 --> 00:28:25,220
[Jem coughs, clears throat]

257
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:27,982
[screws cap on bottle]

258
00:28:34,609 --> 00:28:36,542
Her Majesty the Queen.

259
00:28:38,889 --> 00:28:39,959
[grunts]

260
00:28:40,097 --> 00:28:42,168
[Jem inhales sharply]

261
00:28:43,411 --> 00:28:46,690
What happened to "for what
we are about to receive"?

262
00:28:53,835 --> 00:28:57,563
So it’s only before eating
that you say grace?

263
00:28:59,910 --> 00:29:03,224
He don’t mind if you have a few
fucking bevvies without a word?

264
00:29:14,614 --> 00:29:15,857
[exhales softly]

265
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,310
You forgot to wipe your arse
this morning.

266
00:29:20,448 --> 00:29:23,278
I saw the shit in your pants.

267
00:29:23,416 --> 00:29:25,591
No, that were from yesterday.

268
00:29:27,075 --> 00:29:29,112
You dirty bastard.

269
00:29:35,221 --> 00:29:39,122
Is cleanliness next to
godliness, would you say?

270
00:29:44,679 --> 00:29:46,474
How do you know
he’s not filthy?

271
00:29:46,612 --> 00:29:48,096
Is there any evidence
in the Bible

272
00:29:48,234 --> 00:29:50,996
that says God takes a bath
three times a week?

273
00:29:51,134 --> 00:29:52,998
Changes his undies every day?

274
00:29:53,136 --> 00:29:54,585
God doesn’t need undies,

275
00:29:54,723 --> 00:29:56,173
’cause he’s not full of shit
like you are.

276
00:29:56,311 --> 00:29:57,726
Oh, is that so?

277
00:29:57,865 --> 00:30:00,039
Has he got an endless supply
up there?

278
00:30:00,177 --> 00:30:02,801
Bet he never has to wear
the same pair twice.

279
00:30:04,768 --> 00:30:08,323
Does he like a nice, snug fit?

280
00:30:08,461 --> 00:30:10,567
Or does he like plenty of room

281
00:30:10,705 --> 00:30:15,434
for his big fucking God balls
to swing around in?

282
00:30:15,572 --> 00:30:18,817
You know, like massive
fucking church bells, them.

283
00:30:20,301 --> 00:30:22,234
Bet it’s like
Canterbury Cathedral

284
00:30:22,372 --> 00:30:24,167
down below decks.

285
00:30:28,757 --> 00:30:30,863
You’re going to hell, brother.

286
00:30:31,968 --> 00:30:34,004
Family reunion?

287
00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:43,600
Father Rippon died last week.

288
00:30:43,738 --> 00:30:45,878
Saw it in the paper.

289
00:30:46,983 --> 00:30:48,847
Don’t read papers.

290
00:30:52,057 --> 00:30:54,507
Did you ever see him again?

291
00:30:54,645 --> 00:30:56,544
Is that a question?

292
00:31:01,135 --> 00:31:04,552
Did hear he were carted off to
the nuthouse a few years ago.

293
00:31:10,799 --> 00:31:13,078
-Please read that letter, Ray.
-When I were back on leave

294
00:31:13,216 --> 00:31:16,633
after third tour
of the province--

295
00:31:16,771 --> 00:31:19,222
lost two of our lads
on that one...

296
00:31:22,156 --> 00:31:24,365
...started to think
about him, Rippon.

297
00:31:25,918 --> 00:31:27,644
More I thought about him,
the more I wanted

298
00:31:27,782 --> 00:31:30,267
to pay him a visit,
have a catch-up.

299
00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:33,374
A debrief about
the good old days.

300
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:38,241
Anyway, when I got home,
I looked him up.

301
00:31:38,379 --> 00:31:40,968
Weren’t easy to find.

302
00:31:41,106 --> 00:31:42,970
Course, they’d moved him
around a bit.

303
00:31:43,108 --> 00:31:45,282
Business as usual.

304
00:31:45,420 --> 00:31:47,112
Tracked him down
in Huddersfield.

305
00:31:47,250 --> 00:31:48,872
Hmm.

306
00:31:49,010 --> 00:31:51,461
Should’ve seen me all
togged out in my number twos.

307
00:31:51,599 --> 00:31:53,912
I mean, for someone
that were in shit order

308
00:31:54,050 --> 00:31:56,845
most days of the week,
I smartened up well.

309
00:31:56,984 --> 00:32:00,194
Cacks under the mattress
the night before.

310
00:32:00,332 --> 00:32:03,645
Razor-sharp creases
front and back.

311
00:32:03,783 --> 00:32:05,302
I were bulling my boots
all morning.

312
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,959
Like mirrors they were.

313
00:32:07,097 --> 00:32:09,997
This were
parade ground standard, Jem.

314
00:32:10,135 --> 00:32:12,068
Could’ve done
a ceremonial duty at Buck Pal,

315
00:32:12,206 --> 00:32:13,759
I looked that good.

316
00:32:13,897 --> 00:32:15,347
Number two dress and medals.

317
00:32:15,485 --> 00:32:18,074
I were that well turned out,

318
00:32:18,212 --> 00:32:20,179
I could hear our dear mother’s
voice saying,

319
00:32:20,317 --> 00:32:21,974
"Come home, son.

320
00:32:22,112 --> 00:32:23,493
All is forgiven."

321
00:32:23,631 --> 00:32:25,805
-Number ones.
-The what?

322
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,462
Number one dress at the palace.

323
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,395
Yeah, right, right.
That’s what I’m saying.

324
00:32:29,533 --> 00:32:31,397
I were that smart, you wouldn’t
have known the difference.

325
00:32:31,535 --> 00:32:33,779
I suppose not
if you were pig-ignorant.

326
00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:35,091
[clears throat softly]

327
00:32:36,368 --> 00:32:38,163
Hmm.

328
00:32:38,301 --> 00:32:41,269
So, go round his house.

329
00:32:41,407 --> 00:32:44,134
Lovely little
grace-and-favor cottage

330
00:32:44,272 --> 00:32:46,895
paid for by His Holiness,
no doubt.

331
00:32:47,034 --> 00:32:50,209
Window boxes,
perfect little lawn,

332
00:32:50,347 --> 00:32:51,831
hedges trimmed.

333
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,973
Knock on the door,
and there he is.

334
00:32:55,111 --> 00:32:58,114
All scrubbed up,
pink and shiny.

335
00:33:00,116 --> 00:33:01,841
He seemed so old.

336
00:33:03,050 --> 00:33:05,673
I remember him
as a big, strong bugger.

337
00:33:05,811 --> 00:33:07,123
And there he were,

338
00:33:07,261 --> 00:33:10,022
scrawny little old man
with a potbelly.

339
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,231
I was surprised
at how small he looked.

340
00:33:12,369 --> 00:33:14,406
I said,
"Father Rippon, isn’t it?

341
00:33:14,544 --> 00:33:16,615
"I’m collecting
for the Veterans Association.

342
00:33:16,753 --> 00:33:18,858
Would you mind if I stepped
inside for a moment?"

343
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,239
I could tell he were impressed.

344
00:33:20,377 --> 00:33:22,241
"Oh, do come in.
Do come in, young man.

345
00:33:22,379 --> 00:33:25,072
You’re very welcome, son.
Do come in."

346
00:33:25,210 --> 00:33:27,350
He’s all fluffed up,
bustling about.

347
00:33:27,488 --> 00:33:28,730
The kettle’s on.

348
00:33:28,868 --> 00:33:31,630
Fine china, biscuits,
the whole works.

349
00:33:31,768 --> 00:33:34,219
"You’ll take a cuppa,
won’t you, son?"

350
00:33:34,357 --> 00:33:36,048
So we sit down.

351
00:33:36,186 --> 00:33:38,223
We sit down
in his tidy little parlor,

352
00:33:38,361 --> 00:33:40,018
chatting about this and that.

353
00:33:40,156 --> 00:33:42,951
I say, "This is your parish,
is it, Father?"

354
00:33:43,090 --> 00:33:46,403
He says, "Oh, I’m currently
between parishes.

355
00:33:46,541 --> 00:33:48,371
Semiretired, you know."

356
00:33:48,509 --> 00:33:50,718
I said, "Oh,
that must be difficult

357
00:33:50,856 --> 00:33:53,548
after all the years
of service."

358
00:34:02,764 --> 00:34:04,628
We talk about...

359
00:34:04,766 --> 00:34:06,768
talking about
the state of things,

360
00:34:06,906 --> 00:34:09,944
the ungovernable,
godless youth.

361
00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:13,568
He asks me,
"Are you of the faith, son?"

362
00:34:14,983 --> 00:34:17,572
And I say, "Faith runs

363
00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:20,230
very deep in our family,
Father."

364
00:34:22,163 --> 00:34:24,062
He says, "Of course,
what I miss most of all

365
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,167
is working with young people."

366
00:34:26,305 --> 00:34:28,825
I nearly choked
on my custard cream.

367
00:34:30,447 --> 00:34:32,898
Anyway, so, there’s a lull
in the conversation,

368
00:34:33,036 --> 00:34:34,969
and he says, "Oh, I do
beg your pardon, Corporal.

369
00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:37,592
Perhaps you’d like
something stronger."

370
00:34:41,872 --> 00:34:44,289
I just look at him
for a long time.

371
00:34:47,706 --> 00:34:50,398
"Would you like
something stronger, Father?"

372
00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:57,371
I could see the thrill of it
coursing through him.

373
00:34:57,509 --> 00:34:58,889
He didn’t dare believe.

374
00:34:59,027 --> 00:35:02,479
His face darkened,
his eyes all glittery.

375
00:35:02,617 --> 00:35:04,102
He said, "Well, I would
if you would."

376
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:05,517
He starts to get up.

377
00:35:05,655 --> 00:35:09,383
I say, "I’m very strong,
Father Rippon."

378
00:35:10,970 --> 00:35:13,318
He sits back down as if
his legs went from under him.

379
00:35:13,456 --> 00:35:15,113
I say...

380
00:35:16,286 --> 00:35:18,944
"Would you like
to have a look?"

381
00:35:19,082 --> 00:35:20,532
I start
to unbutton my trousers.

382
00:35:20,670 --> 00:35:22,120
I thought he might have
a heart attack.

383
00:35:22,258 --> 00:35:23,500
He just couldn’t believe it.

384
00:35:23,638 --> 00:35:24,674
It was like Christmas
come early.

385
00:35:24,812 --> 00:35:27,504
So I stood myself up...

386
00:35:27,642 --> 00:35:31,508
teasing open the buttons
like a rent boy.

387
00:35:31,646 --> 00:35:35,167
Dropped the cacks,
dropped my undies.

388
00:35:36,789 --> 00:35:39,482
I say, "There it is."

389
00:35:39,620 --> 00:35:42,036
I said,
"Lie down on the floor."

390
00:35:42,174 --> 00:35:45,764
He lies down,
eager to accommodate.

391
00:35:45,902 --> 00:35:47,490
I said, "In a crucifix.

392
00:35:47,628 --> 00:35:49,699
That would make me
nice and hard."

393
00:35:51,045 --> 00:35:52,771
Waddled forward a few steps.

394
00:35:52,909 --> 00:35:54,566
I’m stood right over him.

395
00:35:54,704 --> 00:35:57,948
Oh, there’s one detail
I forgot to mention, Jem.

396
00:35:58,086 --> 00:36:00,365
For a few days
before I went round,

397
00:36:00,503 --> 00:36:03,609
I were on a diet
of Guinness and curry.

398
00:36:03,747 --> 00:36:07,165
And then the afternoon of,
I took a handful of laxatives.

399
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:11,652
It were hard to get
the timing right.

400
00:36:11,790 --> 00:36:13,481
I was sat in my car
outside his house

401
00:36:13,619 --> 00:36:15,725
for a couple of hours,
and nothing was shifting.

402
00:36:17,036 --> 00:36:21,179
As soon as I felt
that stirring within,

403
00:36:21,317 --> 00:36:23,250
I knocked on his door.

404
00:36:24,699 --> 00:36:27,150
As I’m sitting there,
it’s welling up inside me,

405
00:36:27,288 --> 00:36:29,635
and now I swear
I’m coming apart at the seams.

406
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:32,120
The rivets are popping
out of me.

407
00:36:35,054 --> 00:36:38,334
The army teaches you to grin
and bear it, doesn’t it, Jem?

408
00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:44,995
We do love the exquisite agony
of self-denial.

409
00:36:47,066 --> 00:36:48,827
So...

410
00:36:48,965 --> 00:36:50,587
I’m stood over him.

411
00:36:51,588 --> 00:36:53,314
[clicks tongue]

412
00:36:53,452 --> 00:36:57,732
I say,
"Don’t recognize me, do you?"

413
00:36:57,870 --> 00:37:00,148
"What?"

414
00:37:00,287 --> 00:37:02,220
I say, "Little Ray.

415
00:37:03,462 --> 00:37:06,224
I’m your Little Ray
from the care home."

416
00:37:09,537 --> 00:37:11,056
Takes him a good few moments,

417
00:37:11,194 --> 00:37:14,093
his eyes flicking
this way and that.

418
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:16,648
When the penny drops,

419
00:37:16,786 --> 00:37:20,134
fear runs through him
like electricity.

420
00:37:20,272 --> 00:37:22,585
And the stinking sweat
poured out of him.

421
00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:25,001
"Oh, please don’t hurt me.
Please don’t hurt me."

422
00:37:25,139 --> 00:37:27,279
I said, "Don’t move.

423
00:37:28,936 --> 00:37:30,800
"If you move an inch,
I’ll cut off

424
00:37:30,938 --> 00:37:32,802
"your meat and potatoes

425
00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:36,046
"and shove them down
your fucking throat.

426
00:37:36,184 --> 00:37:38,842
You can suck yourself off
for a change."

427
00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:40,603
Well, come to think of it,

428
00:37:40,741 --> 00:37:42,777
shame he didn’t learn
to do that a few years ago.

429
00:37:42,915 --> 00:37:45,124
He might have been
self-sufficient.

430
00:37:46,885 --> 00:37:52,028
Shuffled forwards, about-turn,
very awkward,

431
00:37:52,166 --> 00:37:54,341
heels on his stringy
little arms.

432
00:37:54,479 --> 00:37:58,310
He flinched. I could tell it
hurt him, but he daren’t move.

433
00:37:58,448 --> 00:38:01,106
"Now, look up the sluice pipe,
Father."

434
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,420
And I squatted down.

435
00:38:05,662 --> 00:38:07,630
And I manured him.

436
00:38:08,803 --> 00:38:11,289
[laughing]

437
00:38:13,912 --> 00:38:15,810
[laughing]: Now...

438
00:38:19,952 --> 00:38:23,922
This evacuation were in
three distinct phases.

439
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:25,820
First, I sprayed...

440
00:38:25,958 --> 00:38:28,720
[laughing]: sprayed him.

441
00:38:28,858 --> 00:38:30,722
Pebble-dashed him.

442
00:38:34,139 --> 00:38:37,660
Like a flock of pigeons
taking off, they were.

443
00:38:40,525 --> 00:38:44,425
Then a couple of waves
of hot lava.

444
00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:50,431
And finally, one... one big...
[continues laughing]

445
00:38:56,368 --> 00:39:01,511
...one big patty cake,
like wet cement,

446
00:39:01,649 --> 00:39:03,927
flops out of me.

447
00:39:05,273 --> 00:39:08,173
And he’s retching and spitting,
and he daren’t breathe in,

448
00:39:08,311 --> 00:39:10,278
but he has to breathe.

449
00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:11,935
And I’m laughing that much,

450
00:39:12,073 --> 00:39:15,353
I feared I might topple over
into my own filth.

451
00:39:19,149 --> 00:39:20,737
And that’s it.

452
00:39:20,875 --> 00:39:23,499
Stood up.

453
00:39:23,637 --> 00:39:26,950
Little packet
of wet wipes in my pocket.

454
00:39:27,088 --> 00:39:30,713
Cleaned myself up...
[continues laughing]

455
00:39:30,851 --> 00:39:33,888
and walked out of there
light as a feather.

456
00:39:39,515 --> 00:39:40,619
[sighs]

457
00:39:52,700 --> 00:39:54,530
Did you believe that?

458
00:40:16,897 --> 00:40:18,761
Did he do you in the hole?

459
00:40:18,899 --> 00:40:19,934
Huh?

460
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:28,046
No.

461
00:40:29,530 --> 00:40:31,705
I bet he didn’t.

462
00:40:31,843 --> 00:40:34,639
Even at that age,
they were scared of you.

463
00:40:38,746 --> 00:40:40,334
[sets bottle down]

464
00:40:40,472 --> 00:40:43,855
Where were you when he was
fucking me up the hole?

465
00:40:43,993 --> 00:40:46,029
Huh?

466
00:40:46,167 --> 00:40:48,169
He done me proper.

467
00:40:50,206 --> 00:40:52,277
He done me proper.

468
00:41:00,492 --> 00:41:02,356
[picks up bottle]

469
00:41:12,331 --> 00:41:14,955
Didn’t have much luck
with fathers, did we?

470
00:41:30,626 --> 00:41:31,972
How about some tunes?

471
00:41:32,110 --> 00:41:34,181
♪ ♪

472
00:41:53,614 --> 00:41:55,651
♪ ♪

473
00:42:10,182 --> 00:42:12,253
♪ ♪

474
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:32,411
♪ ♪

475
00:42:46,736 --> 00:42:48,773
♪ ♪

476
00:43:04,064 --> 00:43:06,135
♪ ♪

477
00:43:22,392 --> 00:43:24,463
♪ ♪

478
00:43:38,857 --> 00:43:40,928
♪ ♪

479
00:44:32,048 --> 00:44:34,119
[breath trembling]

480
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,928
-[arrow whooshes]
-[animal screeches]

481
00:44:50,066 --> 00:44:53,276
[birds calling]

482
00:45:24,583 --> 00:45:26,654
[birds chirping]

483
00:45:41,048 --> 00:45:42,636
JEM: Fucking hell.

484
00:45:42,774 --> 00:45:45,121
-Fucking pig.
-[laughing]

485
00:45:51,231 --> 00:45:52,680
What’s wrong with you?

486
00:45:52,819 --> 00:45:54,579
[continues laughing]

487
00:45:56,443 --> 00:45:58,825
All right? [continues laughing]

488
00:45:58,963 --> 00:46:00,758
Fucking hell.

489
00:46:02,518 --> 00:46:04,175
What you doing that for?

490
00:46:04,313 --> 00:46:05,935
-[Ray continues laughing]
-[Jem chuckles]

491
00:46:07,592 --> 00:46:10,146
What are you doing
that for, hmm?

492
00:46:10,284 --> 00:46:11,976
-What are you doing that for?
-What?

493
00:46:12,114 --> 00:46:13,736
Just chucking ’em
in your mouth.

494
00:46:13,874 --> 00:46:15,634
[continues laughing]

495
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:17,809
♪ ♪

496
00:46:21,606 --> 00:46:23,090
[sniffs]

497
00:46:24,367 --> 00:46:25,852
I’m not gonna eat them now.

498
00:46:25,990 --> 00:46:28,026
♪ ♪

499
00:46:32,997 --> 00:46:34,861
-[engine revving]
-MOTORCYCLIST: You all right?

500
00:46:34,999 --> 00:46:37,173
I’m fucking crossing there,
you fucking twat!

501
00:46:37,311 --> 00:46:39,555
MOTORCYCLIST: Look where you’re
fucking going, you stupid...

502
00:46:39,693 --> 00:46:41,764
[motorcyclist’s shouting
fades in distance]

503
00:46:44,629 --> 00:46:46,113
HATTIE: Nessa?

504
00:46:47,149 --> 00:46:48,564
Nessa.

505
00:46:49,530 --> 00:46:51,463
Hattie?

506
00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:53,672
[indistinct chatter nearby]

507
00:46:55,778 --> 00:46:57,504
[Nessa chuckles]

508
00:46:57,642 --> 00:46:59,333
Look at you in your white coat.

509
00:46:59,471 --> 00:47:01,163
Oh, don’t get ahead
of yourself.

510
00:47:01,301 --> 00:47:03,510
I’m only a trainee, Nessa.

511
00:47:03,648 --> 00:47:05,408
It looks good on you, though.

512
00:47:05,546 --> 00:47:07,721
Even the cleaners
get white coats in the chemist.

513
00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:09,067
[laughing]

514
00:47:09,205 --> 00:47:10,966
-Have you finished uni?
-Mm-mm.

515
00:47:11,104 --> 00:47:12,484
Finals coming up this year.

516
00:47:12,622 --> 00:47:14,832
-This is my workplace training.
-Right.

517
00:47:14,970 --> 00:47:16,385
I’m-I’m glad I ran into you,
Nessa.

518
00:47:16,523 --> 00:47:18,559
I’ve not heard from Brian
for an age now.

519
00:47:18,697 --> 00:47:20,044
Is he all right?

520
00:47:44,896 --> 00:47:46,311
What?

521
00:47:51,385 --> 00:47:52,800
What?

522
00:47:56,770 --> 00:47:58,876
♪ ♪

523
00:48:20,725 --> 00:48:22,796
[rain pattering]

524
00:48:51,169 --> 00:48:52,619
[sets ashtray down]

525
00:49:06,150 --> 00:49:07,668
I really hurt him, Hattie.

526
00:49:11,741 --> 00:49:13,847
I don’t know what I...

527
00:49:15,745 --> 00:49:17,920
I-I don’t actually know.

528
00:49:19,404 --> 00:49:22,960
I just... I...
I couldn’t stop myself.

529
00:49:28,758 --> 00:49:30,657
I have, uh...

530
00:49:30,795 --> 00:49:32,728
I hurt him badly.

531
00:49:35,662 --> 00:49:37,146
What did he say to you?

532
00:49:37,284 --> 00:49:39,838
I can’t even remember, Hattie.

533
00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:42,151
[scoffs] Well, I can.

534
00:49:43,428 --> 00:49:44,809
But... [sighs]

535
00:49:44,947 --> 00:49:49,641
just-just usual stupid shit.

536
00:49:49,779 --> 00:49:52,334
About him?

537
00:49:52,472 --> 00:49:54,508
I just...

538
00:49:54,646 --> 00:49:57,511
Fuck, I just...

539
00:49:57,649 --> 00:49:59,651
[groans] I just...

540
00:50:08,695 --> 00:50:09,868
[sighs softly]

541
00:50:29,888 --> 00:50:31,959
[birds chirping]

542
00:50:33,202 --> 00:50:35,411
You were in East Tyrone, right?

543
00:50:37,413 --> 00:50:40,520
Ooh, let me just cast
my mind back for a moment.

544
00:50:40,658 --> 00:50:42,177
Wrong.

545
00:50:44,248 --> 00:50:47,009
You know exactly where I were.

546
00:50:47,147 --> 00:50:49,287
Crossmaglen.

547
00:50:49,425 --> 00:50:51,324
Bandit country.

548
00:50:56,122 --> 00:50:58,296
There were an IRA
active service unit

549
00:50:58,434 --> 00:51:00,816
operating in the area,
doing all sorts.

550
00:51:00,954 --> 00:51:04,233
They were very good,
very skillful.

551
00:51:05,959 --> 00:51:09,549
Cunning, ghosting back
and forth across the border.

552
00:51:11,171 --> 00:51:12,724
It were cat and mouse.

553
00:51:12,862 --> 00:51:16,107
Sometimes we were the cats,
sometimes they were.

554
00:51:16,245 --> 00:51:18,937
As often as not,
you weren’t even sure which.

555
00:51:20,594 --> 00:51:21,975
You could have them
in your sights

556
00:51:22,113 --> 00:51:23,770
with the safety catch off.

557
00:51:23,908 --> 00:51:26,048
Meantime, they’d have
a high-velocity round

558
00:51:26,186 --> 00:51:29,120
merrily winging its way
toward the back of your head.

559
00:51:33,849 --> 00:51:36,645
Just in the week
before we’d dug in...

560
00:51:38,612 --> 00:51:43,272
...we found and defused
three massive IEDs of theirs.

561
00:51:43,410 --> 00:51:47,932
They shot and killed one of
our dog handlers and the dog.

562
00:51:48,070 --> 00:51:50,659
And they shot down
a fucking helicopter.

563
00:51:50,797 --> 00:51:53,006
One week’s work.

564
00:51:53,144 --> 00:51:56,113
Provo Army Council
expected results.

565
00:51:57,631 --> 00:52:00,255
[sighs]
And they weren’t disappointed.

566
00:52:03,810 --> 00:52:06,157
Incendiaries,

567
00:52:06,295 --> 00:52:09,643
IEDs, grenades, mortars,

568
00:52:09,781 --> 00:52:13,095
sniper rifles,
heavy machine guns.

569
00:52:13,233 --> 00:52:15,408
Were better-equipped
than we were.

570
00:52:26,695 --> 00:52:28,283
What happened?

571
00:52:50,201 --> 00:52:51,823
[Jem sniffs]

572
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:03,525
[sighs]

573
00:53:05,561 --> 00:53:07,874
[wind howling]

574
00:53:09,841 --> 00:53:11,878
♪ ♪

575
00:53:31,449 --> 00:53:33,520
♪ ♪

576
00:53:48,259 --> 00:53:50,330
♪ ♪

577
00:53:55,439 --> 00:53:57,786
[heavy, shaky breathing]

578
00:54:06,657 --> 00:54:08,728
♪ ♪

579
00:54:25,745 --> 00:54:27,816
♪ ♪

580
00:54:31,716 --> 00:54:34,271
[breathing heavily]

581
00:54:40,967 --> 00:54:42,658
-[grunts softly]
-[sets mug down]

582
00:54:44,419 --> 00:54:47,629
[sniffs, grunts]

583
00:54:57,777 --> 00:54:59,813
♪ ♪

584
00:55:03,092 --> 00:55:05,129
[birds chirping]

585
00:55:32,984 --> 00:55:35,055
♪ ♪

586
00:55:43,547 --> 00:55:45,203
[gun barrel clicks in place]

587
00:55:55,144 --> 00:55:56,353
[door opens]

588
00:56:08,434 --> 00:56:10,746
Are they the flowers
our dad used to grow?

589
00:56:12,507 --> 00:56:13,956
Anemones?

590
00:56:27,176 --> 00:56:29,247
♪ ♪

591
00:56:43,261 --> 00:56:44,918
NESSA:
I’ll write as if you’ve read

592
00:56:45,056 --> 00:56:47,438
all my other letters.

593
00:56:47,576 --> 00:56:48,922
The desire to talk to you

594
00:56:49,060 --> 00:56:50,303
and share everything
is strong.

595
00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:52,512
However, this isn’t about me.

596
00:56:52,650 --> 00:56:54,549
This is about Brian.

597
00:56:56,620 --> 00:56:58,449
Brian needs you.

598
00:57:00,865 --> 00:57:03,523
Never before have I asked you
in this way.

599
00:57:06,284 --> 00:57:07,941
He’s in trouble.

600
00:57:12,636 --> 00:57:14,500
[picks up keys]

601
00:57:19,677 --> 00:57:22,369
[rock music playing quietly]

602
00:57:30,550 --> 00:57:33,415
[distant footsteps]

603
00:57:33,553 --> 00:57:35,106
[distant door opens]

604
00:57:37,246 --> 00:57:38,938
[distant door closes]

605
00:58:11,315 --> 00:58:13,213
[door opens]

606
00:58:38,135 --> 00:58:40,724
[clock ticking quietly]

607
00:58:53,495 --> 00:58:56,256
[rustling nearby]

608
00:58:58,327 --> 00:59:00,191
RAY: You leaving?

609
00:59:07,923 --> 00:59:10,547
Accommodation not good enough
for you?

610
00:59:19,625 --> 00:59:22,559
When you legged it,

611
00:59:22,697 --> 00:59:24,561
every day, Nessa wrote to you.

612
00:59:24,699 --> 00:59:26,563
How long was it?

613
00:59:28,254 --> 00:59:30,808
When you went limping off
into the woods,

614
00:59:30,946 --> 00:59:34,294
she didn’t want to interfere
with your decision.

615
00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:38,229
For a couple of years,
we thought

616
00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:40,128
you’d just turn up one day.

617
00:59:41,232 --> 00:59:43,718
She had no idea
if you got her letters,

618
00:59:43,856 --> 00:59:45,651
let alone if you read them.

619
00:59:48,826 --> 00:59:50,794
You knew she were pregnant.

620
00:59:52,174 --> 00:59:53,935
You never answered her once.

621
01:00:01,425 --> 01:00:03,496
You’ve been going
through my things?

622
01:00:08,639 --> 01:00:12,332
Fuck off back to Toytown,
you fucking ape.

623
01:00:13,575 --> 01:00:16,958
Got my girl, got my son,
got my life.

624
01:00:17,096 --> 01:00:19,270
What more do you fucking want?

625
01:00:19,408 --> 01:00:21,548
It was you that left. You.

626
01:00:21,687 --> 01:00:24,344
Get over yourself, lad.

627
01:00:24,482 --> 01:00:27,520
It’s not about you. Fact.

628
01:00:27,658 --> 01:00:29,073
It’s about Brian.

629
01:00:29,211 --> 01:00:32,283
Poor only child
of a deranged fugitive.

630
01:00:33,837 --> 01:00:35,321
Didn’t you want to give him
some brothers

631
01:00:35,459 --> 01:00:36,840
and sisters to play with?

632
01:00:39,290 --> 01:00:42,017
You’re a big lump of a lad.

633
01:00:42,155 --> 01:00:44,157
Don’t tell me
you were firing blanks.

634
01:00:48,506 --> 01:00:50,647
She prayed for you
every night, Ray.

635
01:00:52,131 --> 01:00:53,684
Still prays for you.

636
01:00:53,822 --> 01:00:56,238
Tell her to save
her fucking breath.

637
01:00:56,376 --> 01:00:58,655
And our dad prayed
for you, too,

638
01:00:58,793 --> 01:01:01,105
every day for the rest
of his life.

639
01:01:01,243 --> 01:01:03,349
Have you gone soft?

640
01:01:03,487 --> 01:01:05,696
That miserable bastard?

641
01:01:05,834 --> 01:01:09,217
Oh, he prayed.
He prayed, didn’t he?

642
01:01:09,355 --> 01:01:11,081
Prayed every time
he took his belt off.

643
01:01:11,219 --> 01:01:12,772
Didn’t he pray again
afterwards?

644
01:01:12,910 --> 01:01:14,843
Wet under the arms
from the efforts of his labor.

645
01:01:14,981 --> 01:01:16,638
Oh, he prayed regular.

646
01:01:18,053 --> 01:01:20,953
We learnt our violence from the
number one regional champion,

647
01:01:21,091 --> 01:01:23,265
and he had
some stiff competition.

648
01:01:23,403 --> 01:01:25,095
Who knows, maybe at the...

649
01:01:25,233 --> 01:01:29,030
the British Legion
dominoes championships,

650
01:01:29,168 --> 01:01:30,617
he’s life and soul.

651
01:01:30,756 --> 01:01:33,103
Blazer, badge, regimental tie,
chest out front,

652
01:01:33,241 --> 01:01:35,001
just the long-range
desert patrol.

653
01:01:35,139 --> 01:01:36,382
Now, that were war.

654
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,004
Sand for breakfast,
lunch and dinner.

655
01:01:38,142 --> 01:01:40,041
If Rommel didn’t get you,
the flies surely would.

656
01:01:40,179 --> 01:01:41,870
He didn’t talk like that.

657
01:01:42,008 --> 01:01:43,941
That’s right, he didn’t
fucking talk at all, did he?

658
01:01:44,079 --> 01:01:45,460
I’ve had plenty of fucking time

659
01:01:45,598 --> 01:01:47,911
to fill in the fucking silence
for him.

660
01:01:49,188 --> 01:01:51,190
What do you want from me,
brother?

661
01:01:52,778 --> 01:01:54,607
You’d know
if you read the letter.

662
01:01:54,745 --> 01:01:57,368
I’ve read the fucking letter.
I’ve read the fucking letter.

663
01:01:57,506 --> 01:01:58,991
What the fuck?

664
01:01:59,129 --> 01:02:01,131
What do you want?

665
01:02:02,132 --> 01:02:04,582
[breathing heavily]

666
01:02:13,005 --> 01:02:15,076
I’m beyond your reach, Jem.

667
01:02:16,525 --> 01:02:17,906
I’m well beyond her reach.

668
01:02:18,044 --> 01:02:19,632
There’ll be no epiphany.

669
01:02:19,770 --> 01:02:23,601
So fuck off back to your
little family and sort it out.

670
01:02:25,224 --> 01:02:26,673
You don’t want me
to leave, Ray.

671
01:02:26,812 --> 01:02:28,330
Why in God’s name
did you let that boy

672
01:02:28,468 --> 01:02:30,022
join army
in the first fucking place?

673
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,093
This is nowt to do with me.
This is on you, mate.

674
01:02:32,231 --> 01:02:35,165
Look,
though I’ve raised the boy,

675
01:02:35,303 --> 01:02:37,236
do you think he’s not
a pigheaded little bastard

676
01:02:37,374 --> 01:02:38,755
like you are?

677
01:02:38,893 --> 01:02:40,929
-[chuckles]
-It were nowt to do with me.

678
01:02:41,067 --> 01:02:43,345
I said my piece.

679
01:02:43,483 --> 01:02:46,521
I didn’t think he should do it,
follow in our footsteps.

680
01:02:46,659 --> 01:02:49,558
I thought he were just
chasing after...

681
01:02:51,491 --> 01:02:54,667
Anyway, regardless of what
I think or don’t think,

682
01:02:54,805 --> 01:02:56,911
do you honestly believe
that your son

683
01:02:57,049 --> 01:02:59,465
wouldn’t do a thing just ’cause
somebody told him not to?

684
01:02:59,603 --> 01:03:01,674
♪ ♪

685
01:03:21,867 --> 01:03:25,284
JEM: Look, he’s currently
absent without leave.

686
01:03:26,561 --> 01:03:28,943
And as much as they like him,
you know as well as I do

687
01:03:29,081 --> 01:03:32,463
there’s no warm, fuzzy feeling
in the MOD.

688
01:03:34,707 --> 01:03:37,227
There’s only so long
they’ll turn a blind eye.

689
01:03:38,469 --> 01:03:41,472
Maybe a week, if we’re lucky.

690
01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:45,131
And then the MPs
will come knocking

691
01:03:45,269 --> 01:03:46,926
and take him away.

692
01:03:48,445 --> 01:03:50,378
But that’s the least of it.

693
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,762
I’ve seen my share
of lost souls, Ray,

694
01:03:55,901 --> 01:03:59,283
and at this moment,
your son is in the dark.

695
01:03:59,421 --> 01:04:02,528
Believer or nonbeliever,
there are forces at work.

696
01:04:02,666 --> 01:04:04,081
Fact.

697
01:04:06,187 --> 01:04:07,844
[sighs]

698
01:04:09,224 --> 01:04:10,985
I don’t want anything
from you, Ray.

699
01:04:11,123 --> 01:04:12,952
I-I don’t want anything.

700
01:04:15,299 --> 01:04:19,165
Nessa... Nessa believes
that if you met him

701
01:04:19,303 --> 01:04:22,375
and talked to him,
gave him some answers,

702
01:04:22,513 --> 01:04:23,894
it just might make
a difference.

703
01:04:24,032 --> 01:04:25,551
It might.

704
01:04:28,002 --> 01:04:30,038
♪ ♪

705
01:04:31,522 --> 01:04:33,386
JEM: Before it’s too late.

706
01:04:44,018 --> 01:04:45,674
[pulls chain switch]

707
01:04:49,230 --> 01:04:51,163
[wood creaking]

708
01:04:53,268 --> 01:04:55,443
[footsteps]

709
01:05:02,864 --> 01:05:05,039
[creaking]

710
01:05:09,733 --> 01:05:13,047
Brian savaged this lad.
He fucking savaged him.

711
01:05:14,772 --> 01:05:16,464
He’s convinced himself if...

712
01:05:16,602 --> 01:05:19,018
if they hadn’t pulled him off,
he’d have killed him.

713
01:05:20,744 --> 01:05:23,126
And this has been following
Brian since primary school.

714
01:05:23,264 --> 01:05:25,887
"Your father’s this,
your father’s that."

715
01:05:26,025 --> 01:05:27,820
"He’s in the nuthouse."

716
01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:29,926
"Is he banged up?"

717
01:05:31,272 --> 01:05:34,137
The invisible man, Ray Stoker.

718
01:05:40,453 --> 01:05:42,421
Please.

719
01:05:42,559 --> 01:05:44,768
Just tell me.

720
01:05:44,906 --> 01:05:46,494
If you’re not gonna help out,

721
01:05:46,632 --> 01:05:48,910
then I’m gonna get out of here
double-time.

722
01:05:49,048 --> 01:05:51,085
♪ ♪

723
01:06:05,685 --> 01:06:07,549
[sighs]

724
01:06:15,109 --> 01:06:16,455
I fancy a bevvy.

725
01:06:16,593 --> 01:06:18,664
[quiet chatter]

726
01:06:25,119 --> 01:06:27,466
NESSA: He’s still conscious?
That’s-that’s good.

727
01:06:29,847 --> 01:06:31,780
Could you just ask the children
to move out of the way?

728
01:06:31,918 --> 01:06:34,749
We don’t want them
seeing this, do we?

729
01:06:34,887 --> 01:06:38,787
A blanket on...
Yeah, a blanket on him is fine.

730
01:06:38,925 --> 01:06:40,513
WOMAN [over phone]:
And, uh, do I move him?

731
01:06:40,651 --> 01:06:42,757
-No, do not move him.
-WOMAN: But he’s in the way.

732
01:06:42,895 --> 01:06:44,655
I repeat that,
do not move him, madam.

733
01:06:44,793 --> 01:06:47,244
And do not remove his helmet.

734
01:06:47,382 --> 01:06:49,384
-You’re doing so well.
-[woman sobbing over phone]

735
01:06:49,522 --> 01:06:51,559
I know there’s a lot of blood.

736
01:07:21,382 --> 01:07:24,247
[footsteps]

737
01:07:24,385 --> 01:07:26,421
[bell clanging in distance]

738
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:42,713
SHEILA: Why, he were
all over me at that stage,

739
01:07:42,851 --> 01:07:44,439
like a bloody octopus.

740
01:07:44,577 --> 01:07:46,165
And I were, like, whipping
my head back and forth,

741
01:07:46,303 --> 01:07:48,029
just trying to catch
a clean breath.

742
01:07:48,167 --> 01:07:50,066
But he must have thought
I was in ecstasy,

743
01:07:50,204 --> 01:07:51,964
’cause that minging
wet gob of his

744
01:07:52,102 --> 01:07:53,828
just kept reaching for me.

745
01:07:53,966 --> 01:07:56,624
Oh, my... He wasn’t gonna
back down, but...

746
01:07:56,762 --> 01:07:58,764
I’m not lying.

747
01:07:58,902 --> 01:08:01,801
His breath smelt like shit,
Nessa.

748
01:08:01,939 --> 01:08:03,769
[chuckling]:
Have you ever had that?

749
01:08:04,735 --> 01:08:06,772
[wind whistling softly]

750
01:08:21,580 --> 01:08:23,237
Thank you.

751
01:08:25,239 --> 01:08:27,137
[video game music playing
in background]

752
01:08:28,932 --> 01:08:30,899
-Here you are.
-Cheers, mate.

753
01:08:31,037 --> 01:08:33,212
[coins clinking]

754
01:08:33,350 --> 01:08:36,146
And here’s some crisps.
I know you like them.

755
01:08:36,284 --> 01:08:38,114
Cheese and onion.

756
01:08:38,252 --> 01:08:39,598
This thing’s
out of juice, mate.

757
01:08:39,736 --> 01:08:41,945
I won’t be long.

758
01:08:42,083 --> 01:08:43,774
Won’t be long.

759
01:08:55,441 --> 01:08:57,305
[sighs softly]

760
01:09:06,107 --> 01:09:08,178
[phone ringing]

761
01:09:10,318 --> 01:09:12,355
♪ ♪

762
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:37,828
♪ ♪

763
01:09:57,676 --> 01:09:59,747
♪ ♪

764
01:10:13,243 --> 01:10:15,003
NESSA: He’s beautiful, kind,

765
01:10:15,141 --> 01:10:16,798
funny, loyal.

766
01:10:16,936 --> 01:10:19,076
He’s so like you
in so many ways.

767
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:20,354
Funny that, eh?

768
01:10:21,838 --> 01:10:24,703
Anyway, I implore you,

769
01:10:24,841 --> 01:10:28,154
for the sake of Brian,

770
01:10:28,293 --> 01:10:31,261
to please, please come home
and talk to him.

771
01:10:38,924 --> 01:10:40,995
♪ ♪

772
01:10:49,900 --> 01:10:51,971
Let him meet you at least.

773
01:10:52,109 --> 01:10:55,043
And maybe, just maybe
he can move forward

774
01:10:55,181 --> 01:10:59,876
and let go of whatever demon
anger is holding him so tight.

775
01:11:00,014 --> 01:11:04,018
I pray you are well
and see fit to answer.

776
01:11:04,156 --> 01:11:06,089
God bless.

777
01:11:06,227 --> 01:11:08,194
Love always, Nessa.

778
01:11:08,333 --> 01:11:10,404
♪ ♪

779
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:23,831
♪ ♪

780
01:11:48,856 --> 01:11:51,721
["Teenage Lust" by The Jesus
and Mary Chain playing quietly]

781
01:11:58,797 --> 01:12:00,350
[Jem exhales]

782
01:12:03,664 --> 01:12:04,872
What?

783
01:12:08,979 --> 01:12:10,326
What?

784
01:12:13,087 --> 01:12:14,985
What? What the fuck?

785
01:12:16,849 --> 01:12:18,782
Spitting image.

786
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:20,405
What?

787
01:12:20,543 --> 01:12:21,958
Spitting image.

788
01:12:22,096 --> 01:12:23,787
Spitting image? Who?

789
01:12:26,618 --> 01:12:29,379
-[chuckling]
-Fuck off.

790
01:12:29,517 --> 01:12:31,864
Fuck right off.

791
01:12:32,002 --> 01:12:33,728
Our father who art in heaven?

792
01:12:33,866 --> 01:12:35,661
Fuck off.

793
01:12:41,287 --> 01:12:43,462
[laughing]: Suppose I am a bit.

794
01:12:45,222 --> 01:12:48,191
Suppose I am
a bit of a sad old bugger.

795
01:12:55,060 --> 01:12:57,131
He been doing all right,
were he?

796
01:12:58,546 --> 01:13:00,306
-Who?
-The boy.

797
01:13:00,445 --> 01:13:05,242
"The boy," Brian,
is doing well, very well.

798
01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:08,901
They think
he’s a real prospect.

799
01:13:09,039 --> 01:13:10,247
Can’t help himself.

800
01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:13,078
The other lads
just fall in behind him.

801
01:13:13,216 --> 01:13:14,838
-That right?
-[chuckles]: Yeah.

802
01:13:16,115 --> 01:13:18,808
You remember what it’s like
when you’re cold and hungry,

803
01:13:18,946 --> 01:13:20,396
you haven’t slept
in three nights.

804
01:13:20,534 --> 01:13:22,398
It’s every man for himself.

805
01:13:22,536 --> 01:13:24,400
With Brian...

806
01:13:24,538 --> 01:13:26,540
[exhales sharply]
he’s got strength to spare.

807
01:13:26,678 --> 01:13:28,404
He may be at the end
of his rope,

808
01:13:28,542 --> 01:13:31,268
but he’s still looking out
for the others.

809
01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:33,512
And they pay attention to that.

810
01:13:38,275 --> 01:13:40,243
[Jem exhales]

811
01:13:40,381 --> 01:13:41,762
RAY: Hmm.

812
01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:57,674
When you did selection and, uh,
were badged into the regiment,

813
01:13:57,812 --> 01:13:59,745
I was so proud.

814
01:14:02,161 --> 01:14:04,957
And I was so fucking envious.

815
01:14:05,095 --> 01:14:07,960
I thought, "I want that.

816
01:14:08,098 --> 01:14:10,100
I want some of that."

817
01:14:11,274 --> 01:14:14,519
Suppose volunteering for 14 Int

818
01:14:14,657 --> 01:14:17,660
were a way of getting closer,
you know.

819
01:14:21,802 --> 01:14:24,218
The training at Bradbury Lines
with your lads and all,

820
01:14:24,356 --> 01:14:29,257
I thought it were
within reach, but...

821
01:14:41,822 --> 01:14:43,444
[sniffs]

822
01:14:47,206 --> 01:14:49,312
Weren’t ’cause of me
that he signed up.

823
01:14:54,869 --> 01:14:56,422
’Cause of you.

824
01:15:01,497 --> 01:15:05,673
Even with all the shit that
he put up with over the years,

825
01:15:05,811 --> 01:15:08,193
it was some idea he had,
it were...

826
01:15:09,677 --> 01:15:11,403
It was the space
where you should’ve been

827
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:14,579
that he was chasing after,
that he was fascinated by.

828
01:15:17,202 --> 01:15:19,342
Now he’s frightened
of his own shadow.

829
01:15:23,449 --> 01:15:25,003
He doesn’t know who you are.

830
01:15:26,832 --> 01:15:29,663
Knows nothing about you.

831
01:15:29,801 --> 01:15:32,838
Except for the old stories
when we were youngsters.

832
01:15:32,976 --> 01:15:37,705
You know, the short fuse,
street fights, vandalism.

833
01:15:37,843 --> 01:15:40,639
[chuckling]: You and me both,
we were both liabilities then.

834
01:15:41,709 --> 01:15:42,917
But now he, uh...

835
01:15:44,332 --> 01:15:46,265
I don’t know,
he looks at his hands

836
01:15:46,403 --> 01:15:50,235
as though they belong
to somebody else.

837
01:15:50,373 --> 01:15:51,926
What?

838
01:15:58,070 --> 01:16:00,038
Rumors, mate. Rumors.

839
01:16:03,248 --> 01:16:04,421
Until you tell me
what happened,

840
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,906
that’s all we’ve got.

841
01:16:11,394 --> 01:16:13,465
[insects trilling]

842
01:16:27,099 --> 01:16:29,205
♪ ♪

843
01:16:54,126 --> 01:16:56,197
♪ ♪

844
01:17:13,076 --> 01:17:15,147
♪ ♪

845
01:17:35,133 --> 01:17:37,169
♪ ♪

846
01:17:47,041 --> 01:17:49,112
[birds chirping]

847
01:17:58,984 --> 01:18:00,917
[Nessa breathing deeply]

848
01:18:06,854 --> 01:18:09,236
[door creaks open]

849
01:18:10,720 --> 01:18:12,757
[door closes]

850
01:18:25,424 --> 01:18:28,013
[Nessa takes
deep, shaky breath]

851
01:18:28,151 --> 01:18:30,119
NESSA: I realize I’ve never
properly spoken to you

852
01:18:30,257 --> 01:18:31,914
about your father.

853
01:18:33,191 --> 01:18:35,814
And that was
a fault in me, Brian.

854
01:18:38,783 --> 01:18:41,855
Me and Jem thought we could
make a nice life for you,

855
01:18:41,993 --> 01:18:44,789
and-and I think
in some ways we have.

856
01:18:44,927 --> 01:18:48,965
But it can’t have been easy
for you...

857
01:18:49,103 --> 01:18:50,864
all these years.

858
01:18:51,002 --> 01:18:53,694
You know, it looming
over everything.

859
01:18:53,832 --> 01:18:55,903
Every family dinner.

860
01:18:56,041 --> 01:18:57,663
Every birthday,
every Christmas,

861
01:18:57,802 --> 01:18:59,735
every special occasion.

862
01:19:02,945 --> 01:19:07,639
And I suppose, by not talking
to you about it...

863
01:19:11,091 --> 01:19:15,440
...it were my way
of protecting you from it.

864
01:19:32,146 --> 01:19:34,114
How much do you know
about the early Troubles

865
01:19:34,252 --> 01:19:36,116
in Northern Ireland?

866
01:19:38,359 --> 01:19:40,430
♪ ♪

867
01:19:56,757 --> 01:19:58,794
♪ ♪

868
01:20:01,762 --> 01:20:04,558
[radio static crackling]

869
01:20:04,696 --> 01:20:06,215
[thunder crashes]

870
01:20:06,353 --> 01:20:08,734
[frantic, distorted
radio chatter]

871
01:20:11,565 --> 01:20:14,637
[radio chatter intensifies]

872
01:20:14,775 --> 01:20:16,466
[radio chatter stops abruptly]

873
01:20:29,514 --> 01:20:31,619
[wind howling]

874
01:20:39,455 --> 01:20:42,009
[thunder rumbling]

875
01:20:54,677 --> 01:20:57,231
[thunder rumbling]

876
01:21:17,769 --> 01:21:19,805
We’ll sleep outside tonight.

877
01:21:31,231 --> 01:21:33,233
NESSA: I lost him in stages.

878
01:21:35,821 --> 01:21:37,858
I lost him in stages.

879
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,931
After the first few tours
in Northern Ireland,

880
01:21:42,069 --> 01:21:44,969
he were already
quite hard to reach.

881
01:21:45,107 --> 01:21:47,488
And then when he volunteered
for some special assignment,

882
01:21:47,626 --> 01:21:49,283
the minute he raised
his hand, he...

883
01:21:49,421 --> 01:21:51,803
he seemed to disappear
into another world.

884
01:21:53,046 --> 01:21:55,082
Oh, but it wasn’t just that.
He wanted it.

885
01:21:55,220 --> 01:21:57,464
He were alive, eager.

886
01:22:01,261 --> 01:22:03,988
He said goodbye
well before he left.

887
01:22:04,126 --> 01:22:05,955
And when he came back,
you couldn’t reach him.

888
01:22:06,093 --> 01:22:07,853
You’d be sat at kitchen table
with him,

889
01:22:07,992 --> 01:22:10,373
and he’d be looking at you
like you were at the other side

890
01:22:10,511 --> 01:22:12,997
of a football pitch
and you’re an acquaintance,

891
01:22:13,135 --> 01:22:15,102
you know, maybe, and he were
trying to figure out

892
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:16,862
who you were.

893
01:22:19,624 --> 01:22:22,351
I were pregnant with you.

894
01:22:22,489 --> 01:22:24,180
And I were getting bigger
by the day,

895
01:22:24,318 --> 01:22:26,458
and he seemed to be shrinking.

896
01:22:26,596 --> 01:22:28,805
I-I... [scoffs] I felt
like a big lumbering giant

897
01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:30,531
living with a miniature person,

898
01:22:30,669 --> 01:22:32,982
afraid I were going
to crush him underfoot, but...

899
01:22:37,090 --> 01:22:40,024
Then one day he were gone,
and I...

900
01:22:40,162 --> 01:22:42,302
realized I’d been waiting
for it.

901
01:22:42,440 --> 01:22:44,683
♪ ♪

902
01:22:44,821 --> 01:22:46,927
[thunder rumbling softly]

903
01:22:51,276 --> 01:22:54,279
Ray never spoke to me
about what happened over there.

904
01:22:54,417 --> 01:22:56,316
I tried to get
in touch with a...

905
01:22:56,454 --> 01:22:58,559
you know, a few of the lads
that he served with, you know,

906
01:22:58,697 --> 01:23:01,045
that were with him,
but they said nothing.

907
01:23:01,183 --> 01:23:02,701
They were on a warning
from the MOD.

908
01:23:02,839 --> 01:23:04,220
They must have been
on a warning.

909
01:23:04,358 --> 01:23:07,327
So all I have is
what I’m telling you now.

910
01:23:08,776 --> 01:23:10,226
But I knew Ray.

911
01:23:10,364 --> 01:23:13,091
I knew Ray better
than I knew myself.

912
01:23:13,229 --> 01:23:16,992
And as I said, those lads,
they couldn’t say owt.

913
01:23:17,130 --> 01:23:18,855
[sighs]
But I tell you this much--

914
01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,030
they loved him
and they respected him.

915
01:23:21,168 --> 01:23:24,378
And they never gave me... never
gave me one hint of a reason

916
01:23:24,516 --> 01:23:26,898
that he’d done something
he should be ashamed of.

917
01:23:29,452 --> 01:23:31,523
♪ ♪

918
01:23:35,251 --> 01:23:37,012
But he left us, didn’t he?

919
01:23:39,048 --> 01:23:40,498
He left us.

920
01:23:42,224 --> 01:23:44,674
What’s that, Mum?
Something to be proud of?

921
01:23:48,471 --> 01:23:50,163
Why’d he leave?

922
01:23:51,336 --> 01:23:53,511
Huh? Why did he leave us?

923
01:23:57,204 --> 01:23:59,241
♪ ♪

924
01:24:19,226 --> 01:24:21,263
♪ ♪

925
01:24:41,248 --> 01:24:43,285
♪ ♪

926
01:25:03,270 --> 01:25:05,307
♪ ♪

927
01:25:33,783 --> 01:25:35,854
[wind howling softly]

928
01:25:51,076 --> 01:25:52,837
War crime.

929
01:25:58,774 --> 01:26:01,294
That’s what he called it--
a war crime.

930
01:26:05,505 --> 01:26:07,645
Fucking war crime me?

931
01:26:08,853 --> 01:26:11,166
The war were the fucking crime.

932
01:26:13,478 --> 01:26:15,722
And we were
the phantom soldiers.

933
01:26:23,108 --> 01:26:27,389
Our mission on this one were
surveillance, pure and simple.

934
01:26:27,527 --> 01:26:29,114
We dug in at nighttime.

935
01:26:29,253 --> 01:26:30,978
Two OPs.

936
01:26:31,116 --> 01:26:33,912
Ours were in a hedgerow at
the end of an unpaved laneway

937
01:26:34,050 --> 01:26:36,432
bordering the farm buildings.

938
01:26:36,570 --> 01:26:38,434
The structure of interest
were the milking shed

939
01:26:38,572 --> 01:26:42,438
no more than 30, 40 feet
from us across the yard.

940
01:26:42,576 --> 01:26:45,510
On a tip-off, we’d scouted it
a few nights before.

941
01:26:47,547 --> 01:26:49,859
They arrived
shortly after sunup.

942
01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:53,760
The bomb maker were a player
well-known to us.

943
01:26:53,898 --> 01:26:56,556
The young lad with him,
we’d never seen him before.

944
01:26:59,075 --> 01:27:01,526
Our intel was solid, but...

945
01:27:01,664 --> 01:27:03,494
for two days,
there were no movement.

946
01:27:03,632 --> 01:27:05,565
We started to wonder if they’d
somehow slipped away,

947
01:27:05,703 --> 01:27:08,188
if there were a...
a tunnel or concealed entrance

948
01:27:08,326 --> 01:27:10,501
we’d missed
when we recced the building.

949
01:27:11,916 --> 01:27:15,402
I was just writing up my report
when the bomb went off.

950
01:27:22,720 --> 01:27:26,275
The explosion was so loud
you couldn’t hear it.

951
01:27:28,588 --> 01:27:30,624
The concussive force
ran through

952
01:27:30,762 --> 01:27:32,454
every cell of your body.

953
01:27:32,592 --> 01:27:36,423
Filled you up, like there were
nothing left of you.

954
01:27:36,561 --> 01:27:38,322
Just chaos.

955
01:27:39,978 --> 01:27:41,842
The entire roof lifted
off the shed

956
01:27:41,980 --> 01:27:44,983
on a cloud of black smoke,
like a cartoon.

957
01:27:45,121 --> 01:27:47,814
Walls swelled outwards,
opened up.

958
01:27:47,952 --> 01:27:50,092
Debris started
to rain down on us.

959
01:27:50,230 --> 01:27:52,612
"Are we being attacked?
Do they know we’re here?

960
01:27:52,750 --> 01:27:54,269
Are they getting rid of it?"

961
01:27:54,407 --> 01:27:56,201
They’d do that sometimes.
You know how it were.

962
01:27:56,340 --> 01:27:57,824
If they... they thought
you were onto them,

963
01:27:57,962 --> 01:28:00,516
they’d detonate the ordnance
and scarper.

964
01:28:00,654 --> 01:28:05,763
And we were waiting
for the incoming, but so far,

965
01:28:05,901 --> 01:28:07,799
there were nothing.

966
01:28:11,355 --> 01:28:14,116
Then there were just the sound
of this fella screaming.

967
01:28:18,810 --> 01:28:21,088
Like I said, we were on
surveillance, nothing more.

968
01:28:21,226 --> 01:28:23,090
We weren’t equipped
for anything serious.

969
01:28:23,228 --> 01:28:27,094
Sidearms only,
couple of longs between us.

970
01:28:27,232 --> 01:28:29,476
When that Semtex went off,
we should’ve called it in,

971
01:28:29,614 --> 01:28:31,823
hand it over to your lads,
but...

972
01:28:31,961 --> 01:28:34,343
[chuckling]:
I don’t know why, but...

973
01:28:34,481 --> 01:28:36,759
for some reason, we moved in.

974
01:28:36,897 --> 01:28:38,830
Advance to contact.

975
01:28:40,556 --> 01:28:43,387
I suppose it were a
"ride to the sound of the guns"

976
01:28:43,525 --> 01:28:44,905
type of madness.

977
01:28:45,043 --> 01:28:47,011
We started to crawl
toward the milking shed.

978
01:28:47,149 --> 01:28:49,807
Could’ve been weapons
trained on us, snipers.

979
01:28:49,945 --> 01:28:51,636
Could’ve been another bomb
waiting in the building.

980
01:28:51,774 --> 01:28:53,362
We didn’t know.

981
01:28:53,500 --> 01:28:55,537
[birds calling]

982
01:28:57,332 --> 01:29:01,059
So we’re crawling, heads down,
getting closer, getting closer.

983
01:29:01,197 --> 01:29:02,854
All we could...

984
01:29:05,512 --> 01:29:07,859
The only sound
were the screaming.

985
01:29:09,654 --> 01:29:11,518
Obviously, we wanted to get
one of them alive,

986
01:29:11,656 --> 01:29:13,796
if we could, get him to talk.

987
01:29:16,730 --> 01:29:18,318
It were that smoky
in the building

988
01:29:18,456 --> 01:29:20,700
you could barely see
in front of you.

989
01:29:20,838 --> 01:29:22,909
Well, it turned out
it were just the two of them,

990
01:29:23,047 --> 01:29:25,601
master and apprentice.

991
01:29:25,739 --> 01:29:27,189
And the player
must have been stood

992
01:29:27,327 --> 01:29:28,811
between the bomb and the kid.

993
01:29:28,949 --> 01:29:30,779
There were nowt left of him.

994
01:29:31,883 --> 01:29:33,333
Except his fucking teeth,

995
01:29:33,471 --> 01:29:35,956
buried in the side
of the young fella’s head.

996
01:29:37,924 --> 01:29:40,409
Heard it were his nephew
a few days later.

997
01:29:42,480 --> 01:29:45,794
And I must have slipped
when we went in on some...

998
01:29:45,932 --> 01:29:49,832
piece of him, because I were
covered in, you know...

999
01:29:49,970 --> 01:29:53,905
When I picked myself up,
I were covered in his slime.

1000
01:29:58,116 --> 01:29:59,877
The kid were on the ground.

1001
01:30:00,015 --> 01:30:03,398
Bits of him were...

1002
01:30:03,536 --> 01:30:08,126
He were alive, just about,
but bits of him were missing.

1003
01:30:08,264 --> 01:30:09,818
His innards were spilled out,

1004
01:30:09,956 --> 01:30:12,061
and he were crying out
for his mother.

1005
01:30:14,132 --> 01:30:17,204
Bomb maker’s teeth buried
in the side of his head.

1006
01:30:19,344 --> 01:30:20,794
I was stood right over him.

1007
01:30:20,932 --> 01:30:24,177
Our three lads clearing
the room left and right.

1008
01:30:24,315 --> 01:30:26,421
I’m stood over him.

1009
01:30:26,559 --> 01:30:29,631
He were dying, this kid, Jem.
He were dying.

1010
01:30:29,769 --> 01:30:31,909
I could see the fear
in his eyes.

1011
01:30:33,013 --> 01:30:35,257
The fucking hatred.

1012
01:30:35,395 --> 01:30:38,191
He looked at me with hatred.

1013
01:30:38,329 --> 01:30:40,883
Couldn’t have been
more than 16 or 17 years old.

1014
01:30:41,021 --> 01:30:43,541
Younger than Brian is now.

1015
01:30:43,679 --> 01:30:45,440
He’s screaming at me.

1016
01:30:48,166 --> 01:30:50,859
Begging me to shoot him.

1017
01:30:50,997 --> 01:30:52,516
So I shot him.

1018
01:31:05,770 --> 01:31:07,323
He were dying?

1019
01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:09,394
Yes, Jem, he were
fucking dying. He fucking...

1020
01:31:09,533 --> 01:31:11,431
I didn’t fucking kill him.
He killed himself.

1021
01:31:11,569 --> 01:31:13,398
Fucking killed himself.

1022
01:31:13,537 --> 01:31:15,435
I just nudged him
across the line.

1023
01:31:15,573 --> 01:31:17,057
Fucking little bastard.

1024
01:31:17,195 --> 01:31:19,197
Where were they gonna
put that bomb? In a pub?

1025
01:31:19,335 --> 01:31:21,061
In a shopping center?
In a nightclub?

1026
01:31:21,199 --> 01:31:22,856
Guaranteed, there’d be
innocent people blown to bits.

1027
01:31:22,994 --> 01:31:24,340
How fucking merciful.

1028
01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:25,825
Turns out they just
killed themselves.

1029
01:31:25,963 --> 01:31:27,585
And I’m the fucking murderer?

1030
01:31:27,723 --> 01:31:30,519
I wish... I wish
I had left him to die.

1031
01:31:33,418 --> 01:31:36,214
I wish I’d left him to
his full measure of suffering.

1032
01:31:36,352 --> 01:31:37,837
Lying there with his guts
spilled out,

1033
01:31:37,975 --> 01:31:39,114
crying for his mother.

1034
01:31:39,252 --> 01:31:41,185
I should’ve left him there.

1035
01:31:41,323 --> 01:31:43,187
Should’ve called an ambulance.

1036
01:31:43,325 --> 01:31:45,500
Told ’em to take
the scenic route.

1037
01:31:47,847 --> 01:31:50,608
I’m not fucking making out
I did him a favor,

1038
01:31:50,746 --> 01:31:52,127
but I fucking did.

1039
01:31:52,265 --> 01:31:54,267
He were begging me to do it.

1040
01:31:54,405 --> 01:31:56,614
17 years old,
shivering on the ground,

1041
01:31:56,752 --> 01:31:58,789
and I finished him off.

1042
01:32:00,618 --> 01:32:02,551
Just to stop the screaming.

1043
01:32:13,873 --> 01:32:15,771
And that’s it.
That’s all there were.

1044
01:32:15,909 --> 01:32:18,498
Yeah, listen,
of course they... lads knew.

1045
01:32:18,636 --> 01:32:21,156
The lads... lads knew
what I’d done.

1046
01:32:21,294 --> 01:32:22,882
They didn’t question it.

1047
01:32:23,020 --> 01:32:24,400
They knew this fella were gone

1048
01:32:24,539 --> 01:32:26,333
and no one would get
anything out of him.

1049
01:32:26,471 --> 01:32:27,783
By the time
we got him anywhere,

1050
01:32:27,921 --> 01:32:29,336
he-he wouldn’t have survived.

1051
01:32:29,474 --> 01:32:31,684
No one said a word.
No one questioned it.

1052
01:32:33,789 --> 01:32:35,860
[birds calling]

1053
01:32:38,553 --> 01:32:39,899
No one said a word.

1054
01:32:42,280 --> 01:32:45,076
But I called it into South Det
operations room.

1055
01:32:45,214 --> 01:32:46,906
That stage, our job were done.

1056
01:32:47,044 --> 01:32:49,805
Handed over, went back
to barracks, had the debrief.

1057
01:32:49,943 --> 01:32:51,635
That boy’s injuries--
didn’t occur to me

1058
01:32:51,773 --> 01:32:53,982
any questions would be asked,
but...

1059
01:32:56,260 --> 01:32:58,331
They were all in a twist.

1060
01:32:58,469 --> 01:33:00,885
The Ruperts, the higher-ups.

1061
01:33:02,853 --> 01:33:05,890
So, after...

1062
01:33:06,028 --> 01:33:07,789
the CO had me in his office.

1063
01:33:07,927 --> 01:33:09,860
Uh...

1064
01:33:11,482 --> 01:33:13,933
I could tell
he were under stress.

1065
01:33:14,071 --> 01:33:17,453
His whole fat head looked like
a boil that needed lancing.

1066
01:33:18,972 --> 01:33:21,009
"By all the rules
of lawful engagement,

1067
01:33:21,147 --> 01:33:23,425
that’s a war crime,
Sergeant Stoker."

1068
01:33:23,563 --> 01:33:25,116
Oh, hello. Here we go.

1069
01:33:25,254 --> 01:33:26,670
He’s looking hard at me.

1070
01:33:26,808 --> 01:33:29,638
"We need to make this go away.

1071
01:33:29,776 --> 01:33:31,813
"He presented a threat.

1072
01:33:31,951 --> 01:33:34,091
He raised his weapon."

1073
01:33:38,164 --> 01:33:41,029
"No, he fucking didn’t, sir."

1074
01:33:45,171 --> 01:33:49,106
I shouted in his face,
"No, he fucking didn’t."

1075
01:33:55,871 --> 01:33:58,115
[voice shaking]:
"His arms were shredded."

1076
01:34:03,672 --> 01:34:05,432
[crying]:
I said, "I want to get out."

1077
01:34:05,570 --> 01:34:07,193
He-he said, "You can’t."

1078
01:34:07,331 --> 01:34:10,196
He said, "Pull yourself
together and don’t be thick.

1079
01:34:10,334 --> 01:34:12,370
"Take a couple of days,
see the head doctor,

1080
01:34:12,508 --> 01:34:15,028
"you’ll be right as rain.

1081
01:34:15,166 --> 01:34:17,410
We’ll make this go away." So...

1082
01:34:17,548 --> 01:34:19,826
I’m stood in front...
front of him,

1083
01:34:19,964 --> 01:34:21,656
hot tears squirting out of me.

1084
01:34:21,794 --> 01:34:23,623
If you’d asked me
what my name were,

1085
01:34:23,761 --> 01:34:25,349
I wouldn’t have known.

1086
01:34:25,487 --> 01:34:27,523
[sobbing]

1087
01:34:30,803 --> 01:34:32,839
So I...

1088
01:34:32,977 --> 01:34:35,773
I took a couple of days, but...

1089
01:34:35,911 --> 01:34:37,913
it-it weren’t that long
for the shrink to see

1090
01:34:38,051 --> 01:34:42,746
there were a crack in the ice
that wouldn’t heal over.

1091
01:34:42,884 --> 01:34:44,575
I were...
I were, as he put it...

1092
01:34:44,713 --> 01:34:47,682
-Hey.
-...an unstable element.

1093
01:34:49,062 --> 01:34:51,927
Danger to myself and others,
which, in our line of work,

1094
01:34:52,065 --> 01:34:53,618
meant generally bad
for business.

1095
01:34:53,757 --> 01:34:55,103
Time to go home.

1096
01:34:55,241 --> 01:34:58,865
So he declared me unfit,
"return to unit."

1097
01:34:59,003 --> 01:35:02,075
Signed me out, put me
on a plane back to my regiment.

1098
01:35:03,836 --> 01:35:05,596
Short while later,
I find myself

1099
01:35:05,734 --> 01:35:08,772
on the streets of Sheffield,
staring at my old front door.

1100
01:35:08,910 --> 01:35:10,739
A civilian...

1101
01:35:10,877 --> 01:35:12,568
and a...

1102
01:35:15,606 --> 01:35:20,231
...a dirty little s-secret
war criminal.

1103
01:35:21,888 --> 01:35:25,443
Yeah, well, I were coming up
15 years’ service,

1104
01:35:25,581 --> 01:35:27,376
due out anyway.

1105
01:35:28,653 --> 01:35:30,414
[sighs]

1106
01:35:36,731 --> 01:35:39,112
Could you have saved him?

1107
01:35:39,250 --> 01:35:42,633
I did save him, Jem.
I did save him.

1108
01:35:42,771 --> 01:35:45,291
Saved him from
more fucking pain.

1109
01:35:45,429 --> 01:35:48,018
I’d have enjoyed watching him
suffer a little bit longer,

1110
01:35:48,156 --> 01:35:50,745
so I did save him--
saved him from that.

1111
01:35:55,922 --> 01:35:57,752
Why did you shoot him?

1112
01:35:59,098 --> 01:36:01,272
Could we have kept him alive?

1113
01:36:05,104 --> 01:36:07,900
[sniffles] At the t-time,
I knew we couldn’t.

1114
01:36:08,038 --> 01:36:09,867
At the time.

1115
01:36:12,249 --> 01:36:14,078
[sighing]: At the time.

1116
01:36:14,216 --> 01:36:16,287
♪ ♪

1117
01:36:19,049 --> 01:36:21,154
[takes deep breath]

1118
01:36:29,473 --> 01:36:31,578
[quietly]: Hey.

1119
01:36:35,099 --> 01:36:37,101
We’ve all done things.

1120
01:36:38,931 --> 01:36:40,415
We’ve all done things, Ray.

1121
01:36:40,553 --> 01:36:43,280
I don’t need
your fucking absolution, Jem.

1122
01:36:44,764 --> 01:36:47,008
Maybe I could’ve saved him.

1123
01:36:47,146 --> 01:36:48,699
Maybe I couldn’t
have saved him.

1124
01:36:48,837 --> 01:36:51,046
Maybe I enjoyed killing him.
Maybe I didn’t.

1125
01:36:51,184 --> 01:36:53,808
Maybe I pitied him.
Maybe I fucking hated him.

1126
01:36:53,946 --> 01:36:56,638
I don’t know, Jem.
I don’t know.

1127
01:36:58,329 --> 01:37:00,953
But I don’t need
your fucking absolution.

1128
01:37:02,333 --> 01:37:05,681
I did the crime.
I’m still serving the time.

1129
01:37:05,820 --> 01:37:08,477
I don’t owe nowt to nobody.

1130
01:37:09,616 --> 01:37:12,447
I don’t owe nowt to nobody.

1131
01:37:12,585 --> 01:37:14,621
Least of all to you.

1132
01:37:15,519 --> 01:37:17,452
[sighs heavily]

1133
01:37:17,590 --> 01:37:19,074
[chuckles]

1134
01:37:19,212 --> 01:37:22,008
How many fucking Hail Marys
do I get for that?

1135
01:37:22,146 --> 01:37:24,493
[wind howling]

1136
01:37:26,633 --> 01:37:28,497
[footsteps receding]

1137
01:37:28,635 --> 01:37:30,706
♪ ♪

1138
01:37:50,692 --> 01:37:52,728
♪ ♪

1139
01:38:12,714 --> 01:38:14,750
♪ ♪

1140
01:38:34,736 --> 01:38:36,772
♪ ♪

1141
01:38:46,679 --> 01:38:49,509
NESSA:
And he goes silent, morose.

1142
01:38:49,647 --> 01:38:51,926
His eyes searching
for the exit.

1143
01:38:54,031 --> 01:38:55,999
Well, there were rumors,
as you only know too well,

1144
01:38:56,137 --> 01:38:58,656
that he’d lost his mind
over there, that...

1145
01:38:58,794 --> 01:39:00,796
you know, he’d...
he’d gone psycho,

1146
01:39:00,935 --> 01:39:03,144
that he’d been involved
in some bad things.

1147
01:39:03,282 --> 01:39:05,801
Even that he’d murdered
an unarmed civilian.

1148
01:39:06,733 --> 01:39:08,321
Oh, and the shame.

1149
01:39:08,459 --> 01:39:10,875
The shame of it
seemed to crush him.

1150
01:39:11,014 --> 01:39:13,948
I mean, regardless
of what happened, the shame.

1151
01:39:15,673 --> 01:39:16,985
It’s hard to imagine that,
you know,

1152
01:39:17,123 --> 01:39:18,504
what shame can do to a person.

1153
01:39:18,642 --> 01:39:20,402
He was a very proud man,
your father, Brian.

1154
01:39:20,540 --> 01:39:22,473
He was very proud.

1155
01:39:22,611 --> 01:39:23,958
Proud?

1156
01:39:24,096 --> 01:39:26,305
You don’t understand.

1157
01:39:26,443 --> 01:39:28,721
-He put his heart and soul
into soldiering.
-Proud?

1158
01:39:28,859 --> 01:39:30,481
Just like your dad,
Jem, you know?

1159
01:39:30,619 --> 01:39:32,207
Listen to yourself, Mum.

1160
01:39:32,345 --> 01:39:34,140
So... so to take that away
from somebody,

1161
01:39:34,278 --> 01:39:37,143
to take it away from him,
it’s like taking his name away.

1162
01:39:37,281 --> 01:39:39,145
How can you be so fucking
reasonable about it?

1163
01:39:39,283 --> 01:39:41,976
Oh, I wasn’t reasonable
about it at the time.

1164
01:39:43,356 --> 01:39:44,909
You know, and if it...
if it wasn’t for knowing

1165
01:39:45,048 --> 01:39:46,739
that there was a baby
on the way, and if it...

1166
01:39:46,877 --> 01:39:49,914
if it wasn’t for you...

1167
01:39:50,053 --> 01:39:52,158
I don’t know
what I would’ve done.

1168
01:39:59,994 --> 01:40:02,272
So, yeah.

1169
01:40:02,410 --> 01:40:04,757
He left us.

1170
01:40:04,895 --> 01:40:06,724
I’m sorry.

1171
01:40:11,557 --> 01:40:13,938
And is that what you think,
or is that what you know?

1172
01:40:14,077 --> 01:40:15,526
[Brian sniffles]

1173
01:40:18,495 --> 01:40:20,566
’Cause this is
what I think, Mum.

1174
01:40:20,704 --> 01:40:23,396
I think he were
a fucking killer

1175
01:40:23,534 --> 01:40:25,605
and a coward.

1176
01:40:25,743 --> 01:40:28,022
Because only a weak,
cowardly person can walk away

1177
01:40:28,160 --> 01:40:30,196
from their family like that.

1178
01:40:33,061 --> 01:40:35,201
Don’t talk about him.
You don’t know him.

1179
01:40:35,339 --> 01:40:37,997
No, you’re right.
I don’t know him.

1180
01:40:38,135 --> 01:40:40,206
That’s the problem, innit?

1181
01:40:40,344 --> 01:40:42,174
I don’t fucking know him.

1182
01:40:44,176 --> 01:40:45,660
I know everything
I fucking need to know

1183
01:40:45,798 --> 01:40:48,249
about that bastard.

1184
01:40:50,803 --> 01:40:52,977
And that he’s a big,
giant fucking sinkhole

1185
01:40:53,116 --> 01:40:55,187
in the middle of our lives.

1186
01:41:00,571 --> 01:41:03,195
Don’t talk about him like that.

1187
01:41:03,333 --> 01:41:06,267
Don’t talk about anybody
like that in my presence.

1188
01:41:06,405 --> 01:41:08,096
Least of all the man
who gave you life,

1189
01:41:08,234 --> 01:41:09,442
which is a blessed thing.

1190
01:41:09,580 --> 01:41:11,582
Blessed? Blessed?

1191
01:41:11,720 --> 01:41:13,653
Why does everything have to be
so fucking blessed

1192
01:41:13,791 --> 01:41:15,621
in this house, Mum?

1193
01:41:16,760 --> 01:41:18,520
You gave me life.

1194
01:41:19,590 --> 01:41:21,799
He gave me a fucking...

1195
01:41:24,871 --> 01:41:27,115
...fucking curse.

1196
01:41:27,253 --> 01:41:29,290
♪ ♪

1197
01:41:50,000 --> 01:41:51,795
JEM: All these years.

1198
01:41:53,969 --> 01:41:55,764
[thunder rumbling]

1199
01:41:55,902 --> 01:41:57,835
All these years.

1200
01:42:03,738 --> 01:42:05,774
[thunder rumbling]

1201
01:42:31,179 --> 01:42:33,595
"All these years,"
fucking what?

1202
01:42:36,909 --> 01:42:38,290
How did you...

1203
01:42:39,946 --> 01:42:43,053
The winters,
I mean, the isolation.

1204
01:42:45,020 --> 01:42:46,850
How did I what?

1205
01:42:53,305 --> 01:42:55,410
How did I manage without you?

1206
01:43:06,766 --> 01:43:08,561
It’s not over, Jem.

1207
01:43:08,699 --> 01:43:11,185
You make it sound as if it...

1208
01:43:11,323 --> 01:43:13,187
I mean...

1209
01:43:14,774 --> 01:43:18,399
I won’t pretend I don’t think
about it from time to time,

1210
01:43:18,537 --> 01:43:20,849
but this is it, Jem.

1211
01:43:20,987 --> 01:43:22,748
This is my life.

1212
01:43:30,204 --> 01:43:31,998
Does it have to be?

1213
01:43:42,319 --> 01:43:45,011
"As for man,

1214
01:43:45,149 --> 01:43:49,153
"his days are as grass:

1215
01:43:49,292 --> 01:43:52,743
"as a flower of the field,
so it flourisheth.

1216
01:43:54,538 --> 01:43:57,231
"For the wind passeth over it,

1217
01:43:57,369 --> 01:44:00,924
"and it is gone;

1218
01:44:01,062 --> 01:44:04,099
and the place thereof
shall know it no more."

1219
01:44:08,897 --> 01:44:11,245
Et cetera, et cetera.

1220
01:44:11,383 --> 01:44:13,247
A-fucking-men.

1221
01:44:18,113 --> 01:44:19,632
Good night, Ray.

1222
01:44:29,953 --> 01:44:32,956
-[faint birdcalls]
-[wind whistling softly]

1223
01:44:40,481 --> 01:44:42,655
[heavy breathing]

1224
01:44:45,831 --> 01:44:47,971
[breath trembling]

1225
01:44:51,595 --> 01:44:53,632
[wind howling]

1226
01:45:35,363 --> 01:45:37,434
[footsteps sloshing]

1227
01:46:00,354 --> 01:46:02,908
[deep, raspy inhale]

1228
01:46:05,842 --> 01:46:09,363
[long exhale]

1229
01:46:12,849 --> 01:46:15,748
♪ ♪

1230
01:46:15,886 --> 01:46:18,372
[deep, raspy inhale]

1231
01:46:18,510 --> 01:46:20,028
RAY: Brian?

1232
01:46:21,858 --> 01:46:23,584
[long exhale]

1233
01:46:23,722 --> 01:46:25,309
Brian?

1234
01:46:31,212 --> 01:46:34,008
[quiet, raspy breathing]

1235
01:46:48,091 --> 01:46:50,887
♪ ♪

1236
01:46:51,025 --> 01:46:54,062
[muffled, echoing heartbeat]

1237
01:47:17,120 --> 01:47:19,191
♪ ♪

1238
01:47:20,951 --> 01:47:22,677
[music stops abruptly]

1239
01:47:22,815 --> 01:47:24,817
[wind whistling]

1240
01:47:28,234 --> 01:47:29,995
[breath trembling]

1241
01:47:41,972 --> 01:47:43,940
[birds chirping]

1242
01:47:44,078 --> 01:47:45,666
[sighs softly]

1243
01:47:47,771 --> 01:47:49,186
[dart strikes dartboard]

1244
01:47:58,506 --> 01:48:00,991
[thunder rumbling]

1245
01:48:05,306 --> 01:48:07,342
[grunting softly]

1246
01:48:19,493 --> 01:48:21,184
-[loud thud]
-[glass crackles]

1247
01:48:22,737 --> 01:48:24,739
[thunder continues rumbling]

1248
01:48:30,918 --> 01:48:32,885
-[loud thud]
-[gasps]

1249
01:48:36,510 --> 01:48:38,512
[breath trembling softly]

1250
01:48:54,010 --> 01:48:56,668
[rapid thudding]

1251
01:48:57,841 --> 01:48:59,809
[wind howling]

1252
01:49:08,680 --> 01:49:10,716
[wind continues howling]

1253
01:49:34,498 --> 01:49:36,397
[rapid thudding
and howling wind continue]

1254
01:49:36,535 --> 01:49:38,572
[phones ringing]

1255
01:49:56,141 --> 01:49:58,005
[car alarms blaring]

1256
01:49:58,143 --> 01:50:00,214
[rapid thudding
and howling wind continue]

1257
01:50:03,907 --> 01:50:06,082
[muffled, indistinct
radio chatter]

1258
01:50:06,220 --> 01:50:08,256
[car alarms continues blaring]

1259
01:50:16,575 --> 01:50:18,612
[wind howling]

1260
01:50:33,627 --> 01:50:35,663
[audio muted]

1261
01:50:39,667 --> 01:50:42,359
[rapid thudding
and howling wind resume]

1262
01:50:51,817 --> 01:50:53,854
[breathing heavily]

1263
01:50:56,788 --> 01:50:59,307
[no dialogue]

1264
01:50:59,445 --> 01:51:02,103
[rapid thudding
and howling wind continue]

1265
01:51:29,234 --> 01:51:31,892
[rapid thudding
and howling wind continue]

1266
01:51:49,219 --> 01:51:51,705
[rapid thudding
and howling wind stop abruptly]

1267
01:51:53,396 --> 01:51:55,432
[water trickling gently]

1268
01:52:05,373 --> 01:52:07,203
[wind moaning softly]

1269
01:52:07,341 --> 01:52:09,412
[distant birdcalls]

1270
01:52:12,795 --> 01:52:15,314
[birds chirping]

1271
01:52:45,068 --> 01:52:47,105
[water flowing gently]

1272
01:53:29,768 --> 01:53:31,183
[grunts softly]

1273
01:53:50,099 --> 01:53:52,273
[sniffling quietly]

1274
01:54:02,214 --> 01:54:04,285
[burbling]

1275
01:54:19,059 --> 01:54:21,095
♪ ♪

1276
01:54:39,562 --> 01:54:42,082
[leaves rustling in wind]

1277
01:54:42,220 --> 01:54:44,222
♪ ♪

1278
01:54:56,924 --> 01:54:58,995
[birds calling, chirping]

1279
01:55:07,279 --> 01:55:08,867
JEM: Hey.

1280
01:55:10,213 --> 01:55:11,732
I’ve got to get going.

1281
01:55:11,870 --> 01:55:12,940
[groans]

1282
01:55:15,115 --> 01:55:17,220
What are you doing?
Fucking hell.

1283
01:55:18,187 --> 01:55:21,224
[grunting]

1284
01:55:26,333 --> 01:55:27,610
[chuckles]

1285
01:55:28,991 --> 01:55:31,925
[grunting and groaning]

1286
01:55:44,420 --> 01:55:47,423
[grunting and groaning
continue]

1287
01:55:54,913 --> 01:55:55,983
[choking]

1288
01:55:56,121 --> 01:55:58,330
[strained grunting]

1289
01:55:59,400 --> 01:56:01,299
[choking]

1290
01:56:01,437 --> 01:56:03,439
[both breathing heavily]

1291
01:56:09,307 --> 01:56:12,068
[grunting]

1292
01:56:13,242 --> 01:56:15,969
[breathing heavily]

1293
01:56:31,985 --> 01:56:33,469
[grunts softly]

1294
01:56:36,437 --> 01:56:38,508
♪ ♪

1295
01:56:58,494 --> 01:57:00,530
♪ ♪

1296
01:57:18,997 --> 01:57:21,034
♪ ♪

1297
01:57:37,740 --> 01:57:39,811
♪ ♪

1298
01:57:56,724 --> 01:57:58,795
♪ ♪

1299
01:58:16,572 --> 01:58:18,643
♪ ♪

1300
01:58:36,902 --> 01:58:39,181
[no dialogue]

1301
01:58:46,429 --> 01:58:48,466
♪ ♪

1302
01:59:08,486 --> 01:59:10,488
♪ ♪

1303
01:59:25,503 --> 01:59:27,505
♪ ♪

1304
01:59:42,244 --> 01:59:44,315
♪ ♪

1305
02:00:12,412 --> 02:00:14,483
♪ ♪

1306
02:00:42,442 --> 02:00:44,478
♪ ♪

1307
02:01:00,460 --> 02:01:02,531
♪ ♪

1308
02:01:32,492 --> 02:01:34,528
♪ ♪

1309
02:02:04,524 --> 02:02:06,595
♪ ♪

1310
02:02:36,556 --> 02:02:38,592
♪ ♪

1311
02:03:08,588 --> 02:03:10,659
♪ ♪

1312
02:03:40,620 --> 02:03:42,656
♪ ♪

1313
02:04:12,652 --> 02:04:14,723
♪ ♪

1314
02:04:44,684 --> 02:04:46,720
♪ ♪

1315
02:05:16,716 --> 02:05:18,787
♪ ♪

1316
02:05:38,669 --> 02:05:40,705
[music fades]