1 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:32,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,000 Good evening. 3 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,640 Welcome to Have I Got News For You. I'm David Tennant. 4 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,560 In the news this week, in Sydney, following 5 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,480 the Australian Labor Party's surprise victory, the Culture 6 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:52,400 Minister allows herself a small celebration. 7 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,480 Dyson admits that their latest batch of hand-dryers might need the power 8 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:08,880 notching down a bit. 9 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:15,680 That actually looks like the TARDIS. 10 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:16,760 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,560 Yeah. 12 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,760 Flies more smoothly. 13 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,160 And in Leatherhead, hidden camera footage reveals to MI5 how 14 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:33,200 the network of Bulgarian spies were exchanging secret information. 15 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:41,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 16 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,880 On Ian's team tonight is a broadcaster who admits 17 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,080 that she is always ten minutes late for everything. 18 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,440 So please welcome the host of Channel 4's News At 19 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,120 7:10, Cathy Newman. 20 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:59,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,560 On Paul's team tonight, 22 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,960 a comedian and actor who recently appeared in a film 23 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,880 with George Clooney. 24 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,760 Acting opposite a global sex symbol was challenging but, in the end, 25 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,440 Clooney managed to gabble out his lines. 26 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,040 Please welcome Miles Jupp. 27 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:18,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 28 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,680 So we begin with the bigger news 29 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,880 stories of the week. 30 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,000 Paul and Miles, here's yours. 31 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,040 Yes. 32 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,440 Oh, obviously, Donald Trump and Keir Starmer, we're the first 33 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,040 country they agreed a deal with. 34 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,960 There's probably Keir Starmer and Donald Trump talking 35 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,720 via the telephonic communications. 36 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,960 You've robbed the quiz element there... 37 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,800 ..I believe might be the story on that one. 38 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,920 So, yes, we've got a trade deal and there is a new Pope. 39 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,080 Which I was extremely surprised that it wasn't me. 40 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,720 Cos I'd been led to believe that it would be me. 41 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,720 I've had the costume fitting and everything. 42 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,000 But, apparently, somebody else. 43 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,760 Yes, indeed. 44 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,640 It's the news that the long-awaited UK-US trade deal was rather gazumped 45 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,720 by the election of a new Pope. 46 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,480 Yes. 47 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,880 Starmer didn't seem to be aware that it was happening 48 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,040 until about five minutes before... 49 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:10,840 Yeah, but he doesn't know he lost the election. 50 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,720 And also, when Trump was pressing that button in the Oval Office, 51 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,160 wasn't he just ordering a Coke? 52 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:19,120 Well, there are other worse buttons he could be pressing. 53 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,960 So I think Starmer sort of said that he got called watching 54 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,120 Arsenal football team, North London, while watching a game 55 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,640 that they were playing. 56 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,680 I'm indebted to you. 57 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,800 Thank you, Your Honour. 58 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,920 And so, yeah, he got a call while he was watching the match, 59 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,120 which he wasn't happy with. 60 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,200 But it's very good that he didn't get a call the night before 61 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,880 because I happen to know he was at a romantic dinner 62 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,480 with his wife and I know because I was there, too. 63 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:42,560 Oh, really? Really? 64 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,560 That is romantic. 65 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,640 How romantic was it? 66 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,720 Well, I was having a dinner with a contact and in walked Keir 67 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,880 and his wife Victoria, and I was like, "Oh, 68 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:50,960 this is interesting." 69 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,840 Let them get on with it for a bit and then wandered 70 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,040 over and had a chat. 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,240 That's the form, is it? 72 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,120 They've made some sort of signal. 73 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,920 Said to the waiter, "Could you invite the other couple over now? 74 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,880 "We've had quite enough of the eating bit. 75 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,880 "What about the lady from the news? 76 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,320 "We both like her." 77 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,720 As soon as his security team ordered the main course, 78 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,160 I was like, "Right, come on, let's get at it. 79 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,160 So..." 80 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,000 Wow. 81 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,120 You really are a proper journalist. 82 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,280 No wonder he had a smile on his face. 83 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,920 I thought it had something to do with the trade agreement. 84 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,880 Your mind is too filthy to be Pope. 85 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,040 That's the problem with you. 86 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,640 Oh! 87 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:30,840 It's true, though, isn't it? 88 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,480 I think you should look into the history of the Popes. 89 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:38,120 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 90 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,360 Anyway, I got the scoop. 91 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,520 Anyway, the scoop is that it was their 18th 92 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,400 wedding anniversary, which is China, not the country... 93 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,440 Yes. 94 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,360 ..and a gift of a mug was exchanged. 95 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,000 Was that the public? 96 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,160 Well, Trump has described this deal... 97 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,200 Yeah. 98 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,000 Thanks for bringing us back to the news. 99 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,440 That is what we're here for. 100 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,400 Trump has described it as... 101 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,160 ..and includes third party fire and theft 102 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,800 but only if you've got locks on all your downstairs windows. 103 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,240 What's the deal going to achieve? 104 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,920 Do we know any of the details? 105 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:10,960 It'll change everything. 106 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,000 - Will it? - Yeah. 107 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,040 - Yes, probably. - Yeah. 108 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,720 Has the price of DVDs gone up? 109 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,760 Yeah. 110 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,480 - Is that it? - Yeah. 111 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:19,920 Through the roof. 112 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,560 Will this affect book tokens? 113 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,400 There's still a 10% baseline tariff, though. 114 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,600 - On everything. - Yeah. 115 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,040 25% tariff on steel is gone. 116 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,200 Yes, but then it was only imposed fairly recently. 117 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,240 Sure. 118 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,880 So we've got a better deal than we had last time 119 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:35,920 Trump said anything. 120 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:36,960 Right. 121 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,840 But Keir Starmer said the way to look at it is that, 122 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,760 are things better today then they were yesterday? 123 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,560 And he said they are. 124 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,400 Yeah, but not better than they were a couple of weeks ago. 125 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,440 Yeah, but that... 126 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,320 But I want to know, is it going to be better tomorrow? 127 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,960 Because, I mean, we could be, you know, there could be 128 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,000 nuclear war tomorrow. 129 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,440 You're fun. 130 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,400 You're doing the country down, essentially, whilst talking 131 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,520 to secret sources in restaurants, watching other people's dates. 132 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,560 Do you know what? 133 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,760 You... 134 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,320 People exchanging crockery. 135 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,480 In other news, Donald Trump has also claimed he's 136 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,040 going to bring something back. 137 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,080 What's he going to...? 138 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,560 - PAUL AND MILES SHOUT - Alcatraz. 139 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,600 Yeah. 140 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,400 Alcatraz, that's right. 141 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,560 And somebody worked out, on the local TV station 142 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,960 where he was there that night, Palm Springs or whatever, 143 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,640 were showing the film Escape From Alcatraz. 144 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,800 So he sees something on television and says, "Yeah, 145 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,000 we should bring that back." 146 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,360 Yes. 147 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,760 Let's hope he's not watching any World War II documentaries. 148 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,560 Yes, Donald Trump called for the reopening of 149 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,520 Alcatraz prison for... 150 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,400 In you go, Donald. Close the door behind you. 151 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:50,880 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 152 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,360 But it was still only Tuesday. 153 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,200 So Donald decided to make another announcement to do 154 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,280 with the British film industry. 155 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,360 Yeah, oh, tariff on films not made in America. 156 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,320 Yes, this could have very serious impact on the British film industry. 157 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,920 For instance, the long-awaited new James Bond film may now not be 158 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:13,720 made in the UK but will instead NOT be made in the US. 159 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,600 I hope the James Bond franchise isn't affected cos you were really 160 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,360 looking forward to taking that on, weren't you, Miles? 161 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,520 Yeah. Yeah, I think... 162 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,920 I mean, I haven't started the training yet but...I've read 163 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:30,200 a couple of books about spying and, God, it's dangerous. 164 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,040 You wear a suit, a lot of it's done by gadgets, apparently, 165 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,360 there's green screen and, no, I'm... 166 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,440 No, look, I shouldn't really be talking about it but I am really 167 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,480 looking forward to it. 168 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,320 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 169 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,760 CHEERING 170 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,440 As are we. 171 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,040 Be a different Bond, wouldn't it? 172 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,920 "Would you mind awfully if I, um, just shot you?" 173 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,040 I'd be the sort of James Bond that suggests a lot of this 174 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,520 could be done remotely, I think. 175 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,920 Why is May the 4th significant in the film world? 176 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:01,960 Star Wars. 177 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,000 Yes, indeed. 178 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,440 May the 4th be with you. 179 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,280 May the 4th be with you. 180 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,440 To mark that day, Donald Trump posted this AI-generated 181 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,800 image on the official White House X account. 182 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:16,720 GROANING AND LAUGHTER 183 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,680 What did Star Wars enthusiasts pick up that's 184 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,520 specific about that? 185 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,160 Oh, there'll be some mistake, won't there? 186 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,840 He's got a particular type of lightsaber. 187 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:24,920 That's it. 188 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:29,200 Which is made from steel and has a tariff of... 189 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,960 It's also that it's red. 190 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,000 Yeah, not blue. 191 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,160 And only the Sith - that's the baddies - 192 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,320 have red lightsabers. 193 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,440 So is that a mistake or is he trying to tell us something? 194 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,480 I don't know. 195 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,400 Or someone in his press office hates him. 196 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,440 Not the only one! 197 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,680 He also made himself Pope, didn't he? 198 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:47,520 Well, yes. 199 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,680 Let's take a look at him as the Pope. 200 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,760 There he is. 201 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,640 It'll be Archbishop of Canterbury next, won't it? 202 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,080 Maybe not big enough for him. 203 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,760 Doesn't want to be shouted at by Ian at parties. 204 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,880 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 205 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,320 Yes, it was quite a week 206 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,720 for the Catholic Church as they got a new Pope. 207 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,560 And a new antichrist. 208 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:17,520 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 209 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,640 I was just looking at that picture 210 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,480 of Donald Trump as the Pope, and the fact somebody would reduce 211 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,840 themselves to try and extract comedy out of being the new Pope I think 212 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:26,880 is very sad. 213 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,560 Rather desperate, actually. 214 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,760 But it is an American. 215 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,400 So there must have been a second when the news came 216 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,080 through when Donald thought, "It is me." 217 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,160 Robert Prevost... 218 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,760 Oh, right. He's American, is he? 219 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,800 Yeah. 220 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,000 Oh, right, OK. 221 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,320 First one ever. And he's become Pope Leo XIV. 222 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,760 He was quite emotional, wasn't he? 223 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,560 The new Pope. 224 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,600 Yes. 225 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,640 What did he say? 226 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,280 I mean, you would have been if it had been you. 227 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,320 Yeah, certainly. 228 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,480 There's no point in me talking about it now, 229 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,520 sounds like sour grapes. 230 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,520 Now this Yank's got it. 231 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,160 "I just want to say I've always believed in Jesus." 232 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:09,120 Ah, get... 233 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,760 So, yes, this is the UK's trade deal with the US. 234 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,400 Hopes had been growing for weeks of a possible trade deal 235 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,040 between the US and the UK, although on Wednesday, Donald Trump 236 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,000 tweeted that it was with... 237 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,280 ..which threw us all off the scent a little bit. 238 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,200 The UK ambassador to Washington, Lord Peter Mandelson, 239 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,840 was in the White House for the announcement of the deal, 240 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,280 leading to a touching reunion with Donald Trump. 241 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,240 They hadn't seen each other since that party 242 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,240 on Epstein's island. 243 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:39,320 Oh! 244 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,400 We'll visit you in Alcatraz. 245 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:49,320 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 246 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,360 According to the Independent, 247 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,240 the new trade deal with India is expected to make entry into 248 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,200 the UK easier for Indian chefs... 249 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,640 Which is great news unless you're carrying... 250 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,680 ..a delicious pic-a-nic basket! 251 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:07,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 252 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,600 Are you auditioning for something? 253 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,280 It's like he was in the room, wasn't it? 254 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,720 It was, yeah, it was, yeah. 255 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,160 Ian and Cathy, here's your story of the week. 256 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,600 Um... 257 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,640 Local elections. 258 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,600 Local elections, bin collection. 259 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,600 There's Farage, who's won, and then Kemi Badenoch, who didn't win. 260 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,280 Exactly. 261 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,320 And that's Keir Starmer. 262 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,960 The Royal Air Force has downgraded over the years, hasn't it? 263 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,960 Look. 264 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,360 This is presumably the elections, the local elections, the mayoral 265 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,120 elections, the by-election. 266 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,400 Indeed. 267 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,920 It was an earthquake. 268 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,800 I mean, according to Reform, life will never be the same again. 269 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,360 Well, it's the end of the Conservatives, they say. 270 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,600 Yeah. 271 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,520 It's the end of the two party system. 272 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,680 It's the start of a new era. It's Nige-ageddon. 273 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:56,000 Or something. 274 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,920 When was the moment that Nigel Farage realised 275 00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,360 he was on to something big? 276 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,520 He was on his way to Durham, wasn't he? 277 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,680 Which is pretty big, you know, winning in Durham, 278 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,640 which is Labour heartland. 279 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,560 Apparently, he noticed that, as he walked down 280 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,480 Ormskirk high street... 281 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:20,120 LAUGHTER 282 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,760 Come on, Ormskirk. Pull your finger out. 283 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,800 Here's a fun question. 284 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,920 Who was once MP for Ormskirk and Nigel's predecessor as boss of Ukip? 285 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:27,960 Erm... 286 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,000 Oh, God. 287 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,400 He used to be on the telly a fair bit. 288 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,440 Robert Kilroy-Silk. 289 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,480 There you go, yes. 290 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,800 Let's remind ourselves of some of his best work. 291 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,680 Their fate will be in each other's hands as they decide 292 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:42,440 whether to share or to shaft. 293 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:49,200 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 294 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,640 Can I say, it just goes to show that orange 295 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,320 right-wingers are nothing new. 296 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,680 Not the only Reform supporter with a career in television. 297 00:12:57,680 --> 00:13:01,800 Would you like to see presenter Steve Miller at work? 298 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,360 - Yes, please. - Yeah? 299 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,240 Here he is with a sensitive take on the health crisis. 300 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,560 This is from Sky's Fat Families. 301 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,960 I'm in Telford, Shropshire, and I'm about to meet one 302 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,120 of the fattest families I've met in my life. 303 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,240 I'm here in the Peak District and about to meet two right massive 304 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,480 fatty siblings at the peak of their porkiness. 305 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:23,320 I'm going to be meeting some right beach blubber bellies. 306 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,800 I'm in Bedfordshire and about to meet three right 307 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,760 jelly bellied jumbos. 308 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,840 It's Mr and Mrs Massive Fatty. 309 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,480 That is an unfortunate name, though, isn't it? 310 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:41,800 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 311 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,360 How did Kemi Badenoch respond to the results? 312 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,360 She said it was a bloodbath. 313 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,320 Yes, she said.. 314 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,760 There's not an awful lot else you can do 315 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,000 about a bloodbath, is there? 316 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,960 - You could clean up after yourself. - Yeah. 317 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,800 And what was Keir Starmer's reaction to the results? 318 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,160 He was surprisingly unbothered. 319 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,800 Given that they did nearly as bad, not quite as bad 320 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,640 as the Conservatives, though. 321 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,760 He's got a long time until the next election. 322 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,000 He's got a large majority. 323 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,040 Yeah. 324 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,240 He's got a new mug. 325 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,800 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 326 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:16,720 - What a week. - Yeah. 327 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,480 He said... 328 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,360 A lot of his MPs and members of the cabinet were saying, 329 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,760 "Why don't you scrap the cut on winter fuel allowance?" 330 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,160 And he said, "Because that would be a good ide..." 331 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,520 No, he didn't say that. 332 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,680 There was one Labour campaigner suggested to the Guardian 333 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,840 it was more a protest vote against Labour than 334 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,200 a positive vote for Reform. 335 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,160 What evidence did she use for this, do you know? 336 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,240 This is what politicians always say. "It's just a protest vote." 337 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,200 Well, it was actually spoilt ballot papers. 338 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,200 She told the Guardian... 339 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:52,840 LAUGHTER 340 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,000 Andrea Jenkyns, who's now Mayor of Lincolnshire for Reform, 341 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 she's the queen of graphic gestures, isn't she? 342 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,800 In fact, there's rude gestures... 343 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,040 One involving a finger and one involving a tongue. 344 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,080 Sometimes together. 345 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,280 Wow. 346 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,840 Does she do this over dinner? 347 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:13,600 APPLAUSE 348 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,600 We've got that. Have a look. 349 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,680 Oh. That's good. 350 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:17,680 There she is. 351 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,880 I'm going to come first. 352 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,080 Somebody's pissed up that wall behind her. 353 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,960 LAUGHTER 354 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,680 And I'm looking at the man in the brown shorts behind her! 355 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:34,040 "Oh, excuse me." 356 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,840 There have already been quite a few "war on woke" statements 357 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,000 of intent from Reform, but they tend to be hitting 358 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,560 the brick wall of reality. 359 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,240 The mayor of Lincolnshire, Andrea Jenkyns, pledged 360 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,360 to fire all diversity, equality and inclusion officers, 361 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:51,920 but there aren't actually any in Lincolnshire County Council, 362 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,160 so there's nobody to fire. 363 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,560 Just proves how quickly she works. 364 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:01,480 But the Conservatives were hoping to fight their own war on woke. 365 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:05,440 They've been talking about the... 366 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:13,400 "What's all that about, then?" 367 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,520 The man of a thousand voices. 368 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,760 Yogi Bear, Cockneys, Donald Trump. 369 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,440 That's about the employment bill, isn't it? 370 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,480 Exactly. 371 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:24,920 Suppose you run a pub, Miles. 372 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,600 I think we can all picture it. 373 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,640 Yes. 374 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,680 Ah, mine host! 375 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,720 The usual, Ian? 376 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,440 Can of Red Stripe under the counter, served after 11.20. 377 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:42,160 - So, anyway, this pub I run... - You run a pub. 378 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,960 And say one of your one of your bar staff overhears a joke or a bit 379 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,640 of bants that they don't like, they can take legal action 380 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,080 against you for not protecting them from harmful material. 381 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,720 Well, there's actually no speaking at all allowed in my pub. 382 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,840 Quiet reflection. 383 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,040 Yeah, it's, yeah, it's a kind of mindful bar. 384 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,120 It's really about... 385 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,040 There's a gong bath on Thursdays. 386 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,480 That's probably the really rowdy night. 387 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,160 Otherwise people just sort of silently thinking 388 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,200 about where it's all gone wrong. 389 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,640 Not so different from a Wetherspoons on an afternoon. 390 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,920 Meanwhile, what better combination of people to discuss the VE 391 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,840 commemorations than Rylan and Emma Willis? 392 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,200 They were hoping to rope in some of the survivors of World War II 393 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,440 to their cosy chitchat. 394 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,160 Let's have a look what happened. 395 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,200 Thank you, all... 396 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,240 Good morning, everyone. 397 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,920 ..so much for being with us today. 398 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,200 It's an honour... 399 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,520 It is. 400 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,920 ..to be sat with you and to hear your stories. 401 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:35,960 - Thank you. - Thank you! 402 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,000 Thank you. 403 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,040 Shall we start with you then, Gladys? 404 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,800 I don't care. 405 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,840 LAUGHTER 406 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,720 Oh, no. 407 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,600 That is the proper spirit, though. 408 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,640 Yes. 409 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,400 And then they added in the magical ingredient of Gyles Brandreth. 410 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,480 Just keep your eyes on Rylan. 411 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,320 It is called barebacking. 412 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:05,360 So, you know, like horse riding, where you ride bareback. 413 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:09,480 Um, so this is called barebacking for Gen Z, 414 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,680 where they travel without anything. 415 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,280 I began doing this a few years ago and I was called a raw dog. 416 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,600 I said, while I'm in the raw dog, you're living life in the raw. 417 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:25,080 Yeah. 418 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,200 And then finally, what is Tony Blair doing here? 419 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:32,120 Look what I found in my pocket. 420 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:35,480 Is he working for them as a lobbyist? 421 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,400 They were at a climate conference together. 422 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,560 A climate conference. 423 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,240 Obviously! Obviously! 424 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,240 Tony was saying, "Don't worry about it. 425 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,320 It's happening slowly." 426 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,760 Yeah. 427 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,160 That's not a very good impression. 428 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,240 I'm up against the master! 429 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,080 I know, he has raised the bar. He has raised the bar. 430 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,440 I would have said, "Hi, guys. Don't go so fast on the net zero." 431 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,120 - I love Danny DeVito. - Yeah. 432 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,480 He's good. 433 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:04,800 APPLAUSE 434 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,720 This is the local election results, which have, 435 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,680 according to experts, brought Nigel Farage one step 436 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,560 closer to Number Ten. 437 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,680 Keir Starmer, talking at the VE Day commemoration event, 438 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:18,520 said that we owe the veterans a debt that can... 439 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,480 You could start by giving them back their winter fuel allowance. 440 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:26,440 APPLAUSE 441 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,120 Following their wipe-out of the local elections, 442 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:31,080 one Conservative MP commented... 443 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:37,640 To be fair, the Titanic had more survivors. 444 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:41,000 After a good night for his party, Ed Davey announced that the Lib Dems 445 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,160 were on their best ever winning streak. 446 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,680 Oh, now Ed Davey's got the word "streak" in his head. 447 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:53,600 A big swing to the Lib Dems. 448 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,720 Time now for the odd one out round. Just one between you this week. 449 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:58,760 - Ed Davey. - Yes. 450 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,440 - Vladimir Putin. - Ooh. 451 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,480 Tom Archer from The Archers 452 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,400 and Pliny the Elder. 453 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,040 Now, this might be just a coincidence, but does the surname 454 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,720 Archer, is that relevant to the final...? 455 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,880 Because, I mean, Putin's doing the two fingered thing, 456 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,280 which is something that English archers did at the Battle 457 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,320 of Agincourt, I think. 458 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,720 It's got nothing to do with the Battle of Agincourt. 459 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,120 I thought on a topical news quiz, it was unlikely. 460 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,240 Mind you, we got Pliny the Elder there, and he's the only one 461 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,880 with a dead conger eel on his head. 462 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,680 Tom Archer's wearing a gilet. 463 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,520 I'd be amazed if Ed Davey doesn't own a gilet. 464 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,200 I'm going to give you a clue. 465 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,840 It's about a popular, trendy drink. 466 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:39,440 Oh, um, Jagerbombs. 467 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,560 They all, they're all absolutely daft for the jagerbombs. 468 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,720 Yeah. 469 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,240 Apart from Ed Davey, because he still likes Aftershock. 470 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:51,840 I had to dig that one out. 471 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,280 Think about good for your guts. 472 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:54,720 Oh, yeasty filter... 473 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,440 Kefir. 474 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,480 There we go. 475 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,160 Specifically kefir. Yeah. 476 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,240 Yeah. 477 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,840 - So who's the odd one out, then? - Oh, Pliny the Elder. 478 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,320 Why is it Pliny the Elder? 479 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,200 Well, because it, obviously, just look at him. 480 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,280 He's not got as diverse a microbiome as the other three. 481 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,440 That's exactly right. 482 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,400 That can't be the word for word answer. 483 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,520 They're all fans of fermented milk, apart from Pliny the Elder. 484 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,040 "Fermented milk!" 485 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,920 Pliny the Elder was a fan of fermented cabbage. 486 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,160 - Is that what kimchi is? - Kimchi? 487 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,000 No. He's the leader of North Korea. 488 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,520 Pliny wrote a 37-book magnum opus... 489 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,440 Yeah, Natural History. 490 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,480 There you go. 491 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,440 Which contains a chapter called... 492 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,920 ..which reveals how, when boiled and mixed 493 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,880 with salt, cabbage can... 494 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,480 ..making him one of the earliest writers on record to 495 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,080 advocate sauerkraut. 496 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:57,560 The father of a large movement. 497 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,440 Do you know any of the other 86 ways that Pliny 498 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,920 recommended using cabbage? 499 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,040 No, no! 500 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,800 Is the surprising answer. 501 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,720 He recorded that... 502 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,480 Or cause it. 503 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,440 And... 504 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,760 And when they're teenagers, they'll beat the shit out 505 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,120 of you for making them bathe in somebody else's piss. 506 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:30,600 Pliny the Elder did indeed die in the eruption 507 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,640 of Mount Vesuvius in 79 AD. 508 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,720 - Even cabbage couldn't save him. - Yeah. 509 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,040 No. 510 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,200 It was the second worst eruption in his lifetime. 511 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,800 The first... 512 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,600 Absolutely love this round! 513 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,760 What happened when Ed Davey drank fermented milk every 514 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,160 day for seven weeks? 515 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,600 He grew udders. 516 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,960 He lost two stones. 517 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,560 Lost two stone on fermented milk. 518 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,440 He saw the benefits after going on a diet that consisted largely 519 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:00,520 of kefir and kimchi. 520 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,240 All beginning with a K. Kombucha is another one. 521 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,640 Does it have quite a violent effect on the body? 522 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,320 I didn't really know what it was. 523 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,960 I ordered some in a cafe, and when I ordered it, 524 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,120 they went, "Oh, you know, that's a health drink." 525 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,040 And I went, "Well, I'm sure it's fine." 526 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,680 And then someone came back over with the thing and said, 527 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,360 "Did one of you order the kombucha?" 528 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:19,800 And I said, "I ordered it." 529 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,200 And they went, "You know that that's a health drink?" 530 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,120 And then when they bought it, they said, "Are you the kombucha?" 531 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:28,200 I said, "Yes," and they went, "You do know it's a health drink?" 532 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,880 I got the impression, I started panicking. 533 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,000 I thought, this is going to clean me out within seconds or something, 534 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,200 giving me so many warnings. 535 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,360 Started moving other tables back, that sort of thing. 536 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,240 People appeared in the periphery of my vision with mops and things. 537 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,400 - Selling the business. - I'm definitely coming to your pub. 538 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:48,800 - We'll all go. - Pint of the usual. 539 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,960 What happened when Radio 4's Tom Archer brought kefir 540 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,160 to the village of Ambridge? 541 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,280 Any Archers followers? 542 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,600 There was umbrage. 543 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,280 It's true. They didn't much like it. 544 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:04,080 Tom Archer, described by The Guardian as a... 545 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:08,600 ..once went to Brazil to research bacteria 546 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,360 and came back to Borsetshire to launch his own kefir business. 547 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:16,640 How do we know that Vladimir Putin likes fermented milk? 548 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,040 - He's talked about it in interviews - That's absolutely true. 549 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,720 - What other answer could there be? - Yeah. 550 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,880 Well, there's a new documentary celebrating Putin's 25 years 551 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,720 in power, and it showed us a glimpse inside his Moscow apartment, 552 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,960 where he shared a glass of kefir with a journalist. 553 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,000 Here he is. 554 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,400 Mm. 555 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:41,400 IN RUSSIAN 556 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,440 That's polonium. 557 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,600 Cathy, you said you'd really like to interview Putin. 558 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,640 Yeah, I still would. 559 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,320 Well, I've been banned from Russia now. 560 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,480 How does it... Does it arrive in a letter? 561 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,520 Do you get...? 562 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,920 They just did a list of journalists who were banned. 563 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,600 Who else has been banned, then? 564 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,720 Rylan? 565 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:04,880 Vladimir Putin has given a journalist a rare tour 566 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,040 of his Kremlin apartment. 567 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,440 A flat! 568 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,560 Let's just say I'd be surprised if the family upstairs let the kids 569 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,360 learn a musical instrument. 570 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,080 Showing off his fridge, Vladimir Putin revealed 571 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,040 he was a big fan of... 572 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:23,440 It's just normal milk that he's looked at. 573 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,720 Right. Time for the missing words round. 574 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:31,440 We start with... 575 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:36,240 Proving to be a gateway to Hades. 576 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:44,200 Relaunching E.coli. 577 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,920 Here is Bella, the robot, with her two human co-workers. 578 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,960 Bella can respond to a number of situations. 579 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,200 For example... 580 00:25:55,200 --> 00:26:01,560 Something she learned from Gino D'Acampo. 581 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:07,640 Next... 582 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,200 Liverpool fans celebration. 583 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,640 Is absolutely right. 584 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,320 Liverpool Premier League win, there you go. 585 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,960 Tremor in Liverpool was so powerful that at the other end 586 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,160 of the country, it was briefly jolting Arsenal fans awake. 587 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,720 What do you think Arsenal's chances are of winning the Champions League? 588 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,400 Um, well, they're up against Real Magnifico, um... 589 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,920 One of the great superheroes of our time. 590 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,760 I think they're going to cruise it myself. 591 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,200 Yeah, they've been knocked out. 592 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:42,320 APPLAUSE 593 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,440 I do love this banter. 594 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,760 What's that all about, then? 595 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:53,240 That's fantastic. Dick Van Dyke. 596 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:54,840 Yeah. 597 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,760 But that brings us to the final scores. 598 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,440 Paul and Miles have four, Ian and Cathy have six! 599 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:06,680 APPLAUSE 600 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,600 We just have time for the caption competition. 601 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,280 So, ladies, here we are. 602 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:20,160 Ladies, I was thinking maybe sushi. 603 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,560 My friends call me Jacob Rees-Mogg. 604 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,640 APPLAUSE 605 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:29,960 Three good ones. 606 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,360 On which note, we say thank you to our panellists 607 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,760 Ian Hislop and Cathy Newman, Paul Merton and Miles Jupp. 608 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,160 And I'll leave you with news that at Tate Modern, 609 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,560 a new sculpture is revealed, inspired by how voters feel 610 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,520 about Labour's first year in government. 611 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,440 After leaving his glasses at home, an embarrassed King Charles has 612 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:56,120 to apologise for his mistake when posting a letter. 613 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,200 And in Whitby, excitement gave way to disappointment after a sighting 614 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:08,120 of the UK's biggest cockle turned out to be a false alarm. 615 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,360 Goodnight. 616 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:20,320 APPLAUSE