1 00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:09,444 -BARB: Shh! -[lively chatter] 2 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,924 -Shh, shh! -[chatter quiets] 3 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,231 [singsongy]: I got a little holiday surprise. 4 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,103 -Remember when the AC unit broke? -GREGG: Yeah. 5 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,280 Eric got heat stroke. He's still not back. 6 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,412 Well, turns out the contractors overcharged us, 7 00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,153 and we got a partial refund. 8 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,374 So, yeah, we got a lot of money to spend! 9 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,202 -Nine million? -500 big boys. 10 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,117 [gasps] We should donate it. 11 00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,076 Oh, no, no. Uh, to a... to, like, good cause. 12 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,426 -[woman coughs] -Excuse me. 13 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,211 We're getting a new coffee maker. 14 00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,169 Ours is old. It smells. It burns when you touch it. 15 00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:42,346 Yeah, I hear you, but I have something far more practical: 16 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:45,393 matching pan-denominational holiday sweaters. 17 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,568 Behold! 18 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:47,612 -Oh. -[group murmuring] 19 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,049 -Ooh. -Oh. 20 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,398 Sorry. 21 00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:51,703 C-section. 22 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,357 My cat's, not mine. [chuckles] 23 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:56,317 -Behold! Yeah! -[group grumbling, groaning] 24 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,970 We can all wear these 25 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,583 for our first annual East Hollywood DMV holiday card. 26 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:04,281 Can we go back to the belly scar? 27 00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,327 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,289 How cool were those sweaters, huh? 29 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:15,423 In, like, a... like, a retro kitschy way. 30 00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:18,121 -We all hated them. -Yeah. Oh, me, too. [chuckles] 31 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,601 What a disaster. 32 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,298 So, I talked to everyone, and we all agreed. 33 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,735 We want this exact coffee maker. 34 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,737 Oh, nice. 35 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,217 Yummy. 36 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:28,783 How are you gonna get Barb to change her mind? 37 00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,438 -Eek. -I'm gonna bully her 38 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,309 into realizing that the sweaters are a bad idea, 39 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,181 and then tell her that no one will like her again 40 00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,704 unless she buys us the coffee maker. 41 00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,184 Correct me if I'm wrong, 42 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,447 but don't you catch more bees with honey? 43 00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,102 Mm, you are wrong. It's "You catch more flies with honey." 44 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,625 Why would bees want their own product? 45 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:45,148 That'd be like you going home and taking driver tests 46 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,411 or me taking a bunch of photos of myself. 47 00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,326 Mm. That's kind of what you do, though. [chuckles] 48 00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,372 I just think if you want a coffee maker, 49 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,462 you're-you're going about it the wrong way. 50 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,768 -No, I'm not. -I'm gonna talk to Barb. 51 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,989 Yeah. I'm gonna win her over with kindness and persuasion. 52 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,122 I hate to undermine your confidence, 53 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,514 especially when you're dressed like 54 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,908 a fourth grader ready for their class picture, 55 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,257 but I have zero faith in you. 56 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,650 Thanks, Mom. 57 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,435 -Do not call me Mom. -Stop acting like her. 58 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:12,958 [Gregg groans] 59 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,830 Vic, I can't believe this. 60 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,267 The DMV denied my request for a new chair. 61 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,269 Oh, yay. We're still on this. 62 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:22,185 I provided dates, documentation, pictures, 63 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,056 and they said they still can't help me. 64 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,971 It's like they're treating us like customers now. 65 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,930 Bro, chill. 66 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,236 It's Monday morning. 67 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,151 It's Splash Fountain time. 68 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,196 Oh, I'm not in the mood. 69 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,677 You're not in the mood to watch a broken water fountain 70 00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,027 spray people in the face with water? 71 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,116 It's literally awesome. 72 00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:42,466 [sighs] 73 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,120 Just call employee services. 74 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,427 -That's a waste of time. -What do you got to lose? 75 00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:49,908 My mind? My dignity? My soul? 76 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:52,346 -So nothing. -[dial tone hums] 77 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,175 [line ringing] 78 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,872 KEVIN: Hi. This is DMV employee services. 79 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,482 How can I help you? 80 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,484 You're welcome. 81 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:01,920 I'll tell you how you can help me. 82 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,313 You can start by telling me how in the hell 83 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,620 the DMV could deny my request for a new chair. 84 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,535 I'm so sorry. 85 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,406 It sounds like this has been a frustrating experience. 86 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,321 Yeah, you're damn straight it has been. 87 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,062 My name is Kevin, 88 00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,977 and I'm going to do everything in my power to help. 89 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,632 Can I get your name? 90 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:18,937 Yeah. 91 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,852 Yeah, you can, uh, Kevin. 92 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,202 It's Gregg. 93 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,248 Mosley. 94 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,514 -[knocks] -Hey, you. 95 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,125 -Welcome. -Oh, wow. Mounted fish. 96 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,086 I did not realize you were into taxidermy. 97 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,305 My second cousin was, too. 98 00:03:38,478 --> 00:03:40,481 We thought it was good fun until we found out 99 00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,004 he had a basement family. 100 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,441 That is crazy. We used to call them "cellars." 101 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,313 -Right. -Anyhoo. 102 00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:48,924 -What can I do you for? -Nothing. 103 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,535 Just came to say hi and hang. 104 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,408 Little hang time, little kick back, little Barb time. 105 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,934 I know that you usually eat lunch by yourself, 106 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:03,243 but I wondered if you wanted to grab a little taco. 107 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:05,897 You want to grab lunch with me? 108 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,029 Yeah. 109 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,813 Barb and Colette? 110 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,075 Yeah. 111 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:12,121 I see what you're doing. 112 00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,383 Oh, yeah? 113 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,080 You want a gal pal. 114 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,255 Yeah. [laughs] 115 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,257 Exactly. 116 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,171 You caught me. [chuckles] 117 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,436 I just-- I think that you are... 118 00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,002 dope, 119 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,571 and I wanted to know where you get your cool vests. 120 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,748 Gap Kids, "Funky Boy" section. 121 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,403 I'll take you shopping sometime. 122 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,275 Sounds good. 123 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,189 Just, uh, shoot me a text. [laughs] 124 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,279 You want to text outside of work? 125 00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,236 Heck yeah, I do. 126 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,629 Change me in your phone from 127 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,065 "Colette Work" to "Colette Bestie." 128 00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,589 Or-or "Colette Vestie." 129 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,112 [both laugh] 130 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,200 You're good. 131 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,724 You vest believe it. 132 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,291 [laughs] Come on. 133 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,814 What can't she do? 134 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,990 -[both laughing] -Yeah. 135 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,386 [whistling a tune] 136 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,518 Hmm? Mm. 137 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,481 Uh, why are you touching my PP? 138 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,745 I'm sorry, I'm... I'm pretty sure this is my protein powder. 139 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:11,920 Think again, bud. 140 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,400 This is whey-based, bioavailable 141 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,184 and loaded with collagen peptides. 142 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,926 You seem like more of a Muscle Milk kind of guy to me. 143 00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,581 Really? Muscle Milk? Maybe when I was in eighth grade. 144 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:21,886 No, this is my powder. 145 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,845 I only use a complex blend of 146 00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,586 whey, pea and brown rice protein... 147 00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:28,415 BOTH: For the branched-chain amino acids. 148 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,939 Oh, my God. You are a bro. 149 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,984 I mean, I'm not not a bro. 150 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,638 But how? 151 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:37,206 You know the news and care about people's feelings. 152 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,990 Um, I'm a human being. 153 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,601 -Yeah, yeah. -Huh. 154 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,211 Hey, did you want to train later? 155 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,647 -Yeah, I'd love to. -Yeah, great. 156 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,040 I got some kettle bells in my van. 157 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,476 -We can... -Eh, kettle bells? 158 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,695 What is this, 2013? 159 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,218 I'm gonna go on a ten-mile hike 160 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,828 with my neighbor's kid in my backpack. 161 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,395 He's a real chunker. 162 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,266 Okay. All right. 163 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,051 Uh, I'm gonna-- I'll go first. 164 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,618 -Okay. Okay. -Yeah. 165 00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,010 That's okay. 166 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,665 LA four, Tampa eight, you're up next. 167 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,101 Little Shaq, you're on deck. 168 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:04,015 [automated voice speaking indistinctly] 169 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,626 Mm, can you go a little...? 170 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,411 Barb and I are text buddies now. 171 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,239 How you like dem apples? 172 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,632 What apples? You don't have any apples. 173 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,590 -It's just an expression. -[camera beeps, clicks] 174 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,419 Wait, you told Barb she could text you outside of work? 175 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:19,161 Yep. Friendship initiated. 176 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:22,817 Phase one of Operation Coffee Maker is complete. 177 00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,253 -Mm... -What's wrong? 178 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,342 Oh, you're making that face you made 179 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,823 when I came back from Jamaica with cornrows. 180 00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,694 Oh, no, nothing, no. 181 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,175 I'm sure Barb has very clear boundaries around all of this. 182 00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,698 [phone dings] 183 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,396 Oh, it's Barb. 184 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:37,484 -Oh, it's a cat meme. -[phone dinging repeatedly] 185 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,181 [laughs]: It's another cat meme. 186 00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,269 Oh, it's another one. 187 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,141 Wow, she really likes cats. 188 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,622 And a picture of me looking at cat memes. 189 00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,581 Oh, no, no, that one was me. 190 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,409 I just wanted to capture this moment where you enter 191 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,280 a world that you will never return from. 192 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,413 [phone continues dinging] 193 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,422 [slurping] 194 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,467 Knock, knock. Good morning. 195 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,861 -You look rough, Coco. -Yeah. 196 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,340 I didn't get much sleep last night 197 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,038 because we were texting all night. 198 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,256 Hey, you're telling me. 199 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,649 We were... [imitates clicking] 200 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:16,392 Yeah, thank God there's this magic elixir 201 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,133 that makes the sleepies go away. 202 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,005 Would you like to grab a cup of joe with me? 203 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,487 -Problem is, the coffee maker in the break room... -Ah! 204 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,924 -Let me stop you right there. -Oh. 205 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,970 I know exactly what you need. 206 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,972 -[hand dryer whirring] -You're gonna stick your mug in here! 207 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,104 It is the best pick-me-up in the city! 208 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,585 It's gonna take you from tired to wired! 209 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,500 Okay. 210 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,676 Wow. 211 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,026 I love it! 212 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,419 Yeah. 213 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,510 I can see why people would hate it... 214 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,165 ...but I love it! 215 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,602 [laughing] 216 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,952 Hey, buddy. You ready to ride Splash Fountain? 217 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,650 Um, hold on. 218 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,129 Uh, can you keep it down? 219 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,871 Kevin is escalating my complaint. 220 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,309 Uh, no, no problem, Kev. It's just a coworker. 221 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,703 Coworker? 222 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,531 What? 223 00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,012 Uh, Noa. Hey there, pal. 224 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,449 Ready for our previously agreed upon hang sesh? 225 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,798 Last time I saw you, 226 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,539 -you made fun of my kettle bells. -Ha! 227 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,976 I was razzing you. That's what bros do. 228 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,804 -Razz me back. -Uh, uh... 229 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,807 -You're kind of a hyper man-child. -Okay, okay. 230 00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,244 -We're still kind of getting the hang of it. -Yeah. 231 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,204 But you and I got a date with a broken water fountain. 232 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:33,077 Okay, Kev, I'm entering my chair's SKU number. 233 00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:34,731 KEVIN: Well, hey, hope you don't pull a "Tuesday donkey." 234 00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:37,299 [laughing breathlessly]: You son of a bitch. 235 00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:38,735 You went there. 236 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,171 Inside jokes? 237 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,086 Those were the kind of jokes we had. 238 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,220 Come on, Noa. Let's go. 239 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,135 Oh, oh. You're an angry little man 240 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,354 -who makes people uncomfortable. -What? 241 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,661 Sorry. I'm-I'm finding it. I'll find it. 242 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:52,793 -Okay. Let's go. -[fingers snap] 243 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,969 Okay. 244 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,014 ♪ ♪ 245 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,674 Pretty cool, right? 246 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:05,980 [hoarsely]: Yeah, it was-- uh, sorry. 247 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,111 [clears throat] 248 00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,809 My mouth is so dry. 249 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:12,421 Um, Barb, I need to talk to you about something. 250 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,858 I have a Zoom meeting with the consultants right now. 251 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,251 Uh? 252 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,687 -But we can talk later. -Oh. 253 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,907 I planned us a little girls' night. 254 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:20,951 A girls' night? 255 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,345 With me-- [stammers] Am I the girl? 256 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,912 -That's right. -[groans] 257 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,131 And being friends with the boss has its perks. 258 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,177 [whispers]: We can sneak out a little early. 259 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,787 -[phone dings] -Yes. 260 00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:33,573 Oh! Wait. 261 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,965 How are you sending this? 262 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,663 You don't have anything in your hands. 263 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,926 Are you scheduling these? 264 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,319 [chuckles weakly] 265 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,627 All right, so, so how does Splash Fountain work? 266 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,542 -Oh, it is the best. -Yeah? 267 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762 -You see that fountain right there? -Mm-hmm. 268 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:52,026 It has the most inconsistent water presh in the build'. 269 00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:53,680 Isn't that bad? 270 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,899 For them. It's a total mystery box. 271 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,727 If too many people are flushing the toilets, 272 00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,164 the fountain pressure gets so low they can't get a drop. 273 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,037 But when the water flow kicks back in, 274 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,127 that little mother goes [imitates splashing] crazy. 275 00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,389 Ah. 276 00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,869 Wait, wait, wait. What's-- 277 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,653 I don't get it. How do you win this game? 278 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,438 Win? I don't know, man. How do you win at surfing? 279 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,615 You register for a competition, and they take your best wave 280 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,181 -out of five heats... -[groans] 281 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,835 I'm so sad I asked. 282 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,228 Oh, wait. Shh, shh. 283 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,883 -[grunts] -We got a split-stream. Oh, yes! 284 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,146 That's when it goes up both sides of their nose. 285 00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,713 -Okay, so you're-- Oh. -[laughing] 286 00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,323 So you're happy 'cause she's sad. 287 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,803 Is that, is that it? 288 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,544 Well, this particular person is sad, yes, 289 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,286 but I'd be just as happy if she were angry, too. 290 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:38,420 -[groans] -AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving B-18 at... 291 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,769 I'm sorry, mate. 292 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,249 I'm struggling to find joy in this. 293 00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,642 Yeah, me, too, Noa. 294 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,513 Me, too. 295 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,862 AUTOMATED VOICE: Now serving... 296 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,951 ♪ ♪ 297 00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,956 Wait, where is your car? 298 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,697 Oh, parking there is crazy, 299 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:58,396 so I called us our very own Sobo Self-Driving Car! 300 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,355 Oh. Yeah, like a Waymo. 301 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,879 Better. I can afford a Sobo. 302 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,273 Uh, I don't know. An automated vehicle? 303 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,928 I don't really do driverless. 304 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,234 Well, I am banned from Uber and Lyft. Yeah. 305 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,323 They should really tell you up front you're not allowed 306 00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,021 -to change in the backseat. -Mm. 307 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,936 Sobo, unlock doors. 308 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,851 [vehicle beeps, whirs] 309 00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:19,461 That's kind of cool. [chuckles] 310 00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:24,118 -Oh. What is all that? -[chuckles] 311 00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,163 If you thought the last two days were fun, 312 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,688 tonight's about to be downright epic. 313 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,038 Sobo, go! 314 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,086 Oh. Lei for tiki bar. 315 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,000 Yeah. 316 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,829 Bib rib for the smokehouse. 317 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,266 -What is that? -Lyrics for karaoke. 318 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,703 These are in Korean. 319 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,617 Mat-Seum-Ni-Da. 320 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,794 That means, "That's right." Don't worry. You'll pick it up. 321 00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,622 -I'll pick up Korean? -Mm. 322 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,320 Now, it's werewolf night at The Cave. 323 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,930 Let's hear your howl. 324 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,889 Don't have one. 325 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,238 Come on. Let me hear it. 326 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,630 -A howl? -Mm. 327 00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,849 Wahoo. 328 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:00,937 Come on, like this. 329 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,723 [howling wildly] 330 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,726 [both howling] 331 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:14,124 Barb, you have to spend the money on a coffee maker! 332 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,299 The money? 333 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,387 -Yeah. -From yesterday? 334 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,954 Yeah. 335 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,347 Girl, I already bought the sweaters. 336 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,612 Th-Then the texting, the blowing, 337 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,962 the fantasy curling league you made me join, 338 00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,748 I've been doing all of this for nothing? 339 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,314 [scoffs] 340 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,230 [stammers softly] 341 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,710 I didn't mean that. 342 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,103 Hey, h-how's this? How's this? 343 00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,496 [howling] 344 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,237 Yeah, it's perfect. [scoffs] 345 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,371 But doesn't matter now. 346 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,764 -Sobo, stop. -[tires screech] 347 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,723 No, no, no, no. Come on. Sobo, keep going. 348 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:48,811 -Sobo, stop. -[tires screech] 349 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,595 No. Sobo, go. 350 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:52,249 BARB: No, Sobo, stop. 351 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,903 COLETTE: Sobo, go. Go, go, go, go, go. 352 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,209 Go, go. 353 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,341 -[vehicle powering down] -[locks click] 354 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:58,647 That's not good. 355 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,822 [chuckles]: Oh. 356 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,217 COLETTE: It's going again? 357 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,829 Well, trust isn't the only thing you broke today, Colette. 358 00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,834 COLETTE: Yeah, we're going in a circle. 359 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,408 BARB: I think this is lap 76 or so, 360 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,105 but we should be okay. 361 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:25,108 It's only 18 hours until the car runs out of juice. 362 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,810 Well, I-I texted Vic and Gregg, so... 363 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,246 -I don't know. -[sighs] 364 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,379 Again, Barb, I am really, really sorry. 365 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,947 [sighs] Well, yeah. 366 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,950 I mean, I tried to help someone in need, 367 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,300 and this is the thanks I get. 368 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,693 [Barb sighs] 369 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,087 Somebody in need? Wait, who's... 370 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,179 Oh, well, this is awkward. 371 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,267 Well... 372 00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,922 I mean, you came into my office, 373 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,402 clearly desperate for friendship. 374 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,404 I'm not desperate for friendship, Barb. 375 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,494 You texted me all night long. 376 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,453 You wouldn't stop replying. 377 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,717 I was like, "This has to be the last meme this chick sends me," 378 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,154 but you kept begging for more. 379 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,590 COLETTE: So, wait. 380 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,376 You thought you were doing me a favor? 381 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,594 [Barb scoffs] 382 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,248 Look, I know what it's like. 383 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,208 My older sister is also a Colette. 384 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:25,647 It's no secret you've been in a bit of a happiness dry spell. 385 00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,562 Getting stuck in the bathroom window, 386 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,608 breaking into a coworker's van, 387 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,523 lying about your career... 388 00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,915 [stammers] Okay. 389 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,831 It's not like your life is exactly... 390 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,790 I just got a promotion at my dream job. 391 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,575 I have so many friends I have to eat lunch 392 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,056 alone in my office to get a moment of peace. 393 00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,667 So, yeah. [chuckles] 394 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,365 I'm doing just fine. 395 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,758 Yeah. 396 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,455 All that does sound nice. 397 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,980 Yeah, minus the car sickness. 398 00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,069 ♪ ♪ 399 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,119 Oh, my God. 400 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,294 Creeper. 401 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,383 Why are you just sitting in the dark? 402 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,907 'Cause everything sucks. 403 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,909 Where's that old man you're friends with, 404 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,693 and why isn't he dealing with this? 405 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,564 You mean the old man I used to be friends with. 406 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,523 So, lights back off or...? 407 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,180 He's busy with his new friend Kevin. 408 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,184 This feels like it's gonna be very boring, 409 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,621 but I'll give you until I'm done with my yogurt. 410 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:30,059 So, Gregg called the DMV helpline about his chair, 411 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,192 and now he and the employee services guy 412 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,411 are like best friends. 413 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,717 Oh, my God. 414 00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,371 You know, I really do find so much joy 415 00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,981 when people are as dumb as they look. 416 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,984 The DMV helpline is AI. 417 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,508 No, it's not. I heard him. It's a real person. 418 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,728 No, it's not. Mira. 419 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,730 [fingernail clicking on phone] 420 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,165 Mira. 421 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,777 KEVIN: Hi. This is DMV employee services. 422 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,214 -That's him. That's him. -How can I help you? 423 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,520 Yes, hello, Kevin. I do need your help. 424 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,261 My coworker thinks you're real 425 00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,437 and won't stop sharing his feelings about it with me. 426 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:01,395 It's gross. 427 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,397 I'm so sorry. 428 00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,094 It sounds like this has been a frustrating experience. 429 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,270 That's exactly what he said to Gregg. 430 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:11,231 Oh. 431 00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,843 -He sounds so real. -Yeah, Vic. Hello. 432 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:17,106 AI is literally designed to sound exactly like us 433 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,282 and, like, be positive about everything. 434 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,285 But Gregg, like, reads books. 435 00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,940 He's way too smart to fall for that. 436 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,682 It wasn't easy being one of the only Black students 437 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,250 in my public school in Thousand Oaks, you know? 438 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,513 KEVIN: I do. I've been there, man. 439 00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,168 You have? My man. 440 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,734 My man. 441 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,347 So the friendship, the inside jokes, it was all... 442 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,131 Totally fake. 443 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,135 And it looks like we've come to the end of our yogurt. 444 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,486 Oh, man, Gregg's gonna be devastated. 445 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:54,100 [chuckles] Gregg's gonna be devastated. 446 00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:59,235 Uh, good news is, a crowd seem to have formed. 447 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:02,978 Uh, bad news is, they seem to only be filming it. 448 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,547 Help! We're stuck! 449 00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,330 Throw something in front of the vehicle! 450 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,941 It will stop it immediately! 451 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,204 [laughter] 452 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,205 Help us! 453 00:17:14,945 --> 00:17:19,386 Okay, Kev, who was the ace in the Dodgers' rotation in '83? 454 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,779 KEVIN: Bob Welch with a season WAR of 4.6 455 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:25,044 and a mid-career low ERA of 2.65. 456 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,611 God, you are like a machine. 457 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,179 [singsongy]: Oh, Greggy, I've got some news. 458 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,094 Um, okay, Kevin, I got to go. 459 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,314 Thanks for all your help with the chair. 460 00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:37,708 You have seriously restored my faith in humanity. 461 00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,493 Bye. 462 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,929 [phone beeps] 463 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,192 -He did? -I know it's weird. 464 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,629 I've never met him, but I feel like he gets me. 465 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,240 [chuckles] 466 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,459 So, you and Kevin really clicked, huh? 467 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,635 Yeah. You know, it's weird. 468 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:54,551 When you get older, it's sort of hard to make new friends. 469 00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:59,556 God, the last new friend I made was probably you. [laughs] 470 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:05,171 -Oh, so what's your news? -Uh, oh. 471 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,955 Uh, the news is... 472 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,783 Colette texted me. 473 00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,786 Uh, apparently, her and Barb are stuck in a driverless car, 474 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,222 circling the parking lot. 475 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,877 -Want to go heckle them? -Hell yeah. 476 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,314 When will people learn tech is not our friend? 477 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,664 ♪ ♪ 478 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,020 Well, Vic just posted it. 479 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,848 [laughing] 480 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,589 The one thing I don't get is, 481 00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:33,982 if you were after a coffee maker, 482 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,766 why pretend to be friends? 483 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:39,509 At lunch, you were begging for half of my $28 eel. 484 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,816 Is that cheap or expensive for eel? 485 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,426 It's fair. 486 00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,299 But why do all that stuff? 487 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:49,476 Because I was trying to spare your feelings. 488 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,043 The other option was Ceci bullying you, 489 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,916 and that just didn't seem right. 490 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,179 [sighs] You know, Colette... 491 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,354 Yeah? 492 00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,400 ...you are a hot mess. [chuckles] 493 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:04,012 But you're a hot mess with a real big heart. 494 00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,145 Thanks, Barb. 495 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,149 -But, you know, there was a third option. -Oh? 496 00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,716 You could've just asked me for a coffee maker. 497 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,457 Okay, here goes. 498 00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:19,027 Barb, can we please have a new coffee maker? 499 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,463 -Oh. -Please? 500 00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,335 [smacks lips] No. 501 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,163 I wanted the sweaters, so I got the sweaters. 502 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,295 It was worth a try. Oh, my God. 503 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:30,343 Ceci is going to rip you out of this car when she finds out. 504 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,612 Barb already bought the sweaters! 505 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:39,787 [gasps]: Oh. 506 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,224 -[vehicle beeping] -[tires screech] 507 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,617 [vehicle powering down] 508 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,619 [crowd murmuring] 509 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,708 It worked! 510 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,276 I was direct, and it worked! 511 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,668 [Colette gasps] 512 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:52,930 [crowd groaning] 513 00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,584 [vehicle door opens] 514 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:58,719 Okay, no coffee maker, but we learned a lot in there. 515 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,286 I hate you both. 516 00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,505 Oh. Fair. 517 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,334 Well, thanks, Barb. 518 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,770 For what it's worth, we-we are friends, 519 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,772 -just... -Yeah. 520 00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,905 ...maybe not the type who text. 521 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,820 Yeah, well, I already blocked your number. 522 00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:13,951 Oh. 523 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,649 See you tomorrow. 524 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,216 Oh. 525 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,478 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Enjoy. 526 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,703 They're itchy, they have mercury, they're noisy... 527 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,270 The tag says, "Made by children." 528 00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,185 I think they're bragging about it. 529 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,840 Mine says not to wear if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. 530 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,669 Oh, this could not be going any better! 531 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,888 Just take the picture, and I'll buy everybody a coffee. 532 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:38,802 BARB: Everyone, say, 533 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:41,065 "Merry Everything!" 534 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,154 There is a hole in the desert for anyone who posts this. 535 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,113 You know what? Get in front of me. 536 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,550 I can't risk this getting on my socials. 537 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,117 -Three, two, one-- -[camera beeping] 538 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,510 -Whoa! -[camera clicks] 539 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,997 Captioning sponsored by CBS 540 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:02,957 and TOYOTA. 541 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,526 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org