1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,000 {\an8}WE DO NOT ACCEPT "GIFTS" 4 00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:20,791 Oh, man! 5 00:00:21,416 --> 00:00:24,958 What are they doing, building offices now? 6 00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:26,625 - Who's next? - Hello. 7 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:28,291 - Enter. - Excuse me. 8 00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:31,041 I talked to Mrs. Cornelia, you know? To… 9 00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:33,750 Oh, but you shouldn't have! Enter. 10 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,750 - Wait a minute, I am… - Wait a bit longer. 11 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,125 What…? 12 00:00:45,916 --> 00:00:46,958 Next. 13 00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:52,583 - Sorry! It's an emergency! - Hold on. The lady may enter. 14 00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:54,416 Lady? She's three years old! 15 00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:58,250 - The lady has a small child! - Why do you think I brought her? 16 00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:01,166 Don't you know they gave those hipsters that new law? 17 00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:02,250 Wait. 18 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,333 I don't care! 19 00:01:05,583 --> 00:01:06,875 Don't look, honey. 20 00:01:07,541 --> 00:01:10,416 Hashtag "resist", commie! 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,708 Someday you're gonna enrage the wrong people and will… 22 00:01:18,791 --> 00:01:21,500 - I say nothing, I have common sense. - Next? 23 00:01:25,541 --> 00:01:27,166 - Hello… - Please. 24 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:31,750 - Mr. Jean sent me with a favor… - Mr. Jean who? Where you going? 25 00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,833 Ma'am, I'm standing in line for two hours, okay? 26 00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:37,291 Was I the last when you came? I was the last one. 27 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:39,000 - Yes. - Yes? Are you mocking us? 28 00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:41,500 He wants to enter first because he has connections? 29 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:44,750 - Do I look stupid? - No, no… 30 00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:47,083 Have you calmed down? 31 00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:48,041 I am calm! 32 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,833 Very well. There's no problem, okay? 33 00:01:50,916 --> 00:01:52,875 Now we solve everything, everything! 34 00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:56,166 Okay… Because we didn't die in the Revolution for nothing! 35 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,750 Come on… Come on, nice… well done. 36 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:03,875 Okay. Here we have the department "residence parking lots", 37 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:07,083 he is my cousin, my child, stand up straight, 38 00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:12,833 my goddaughter, this is her daughter, Andra, her godson… 39 00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:16,708 - The goddaughter's godson or Andra's? - Andra's, yeah. 40 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:20,250 Sir, what do you think we're doing here? Nepotism? 41 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:23,125 Please, okay? All right, who else? 42 00:02:23,208 --> 00:02:27,041 The godfather of her godson and her godfather's godson's cousin. 43 00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:31,333 Okay, and here at the end, whatever, is Veronica, EU funds expert. 44 00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:35,291 We don't pay much attention to her, she's gonna get fired anyway. Come. 45 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,125 Why, she's not doing her job? 46 00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:43,000 No, she does her job very well. She works very hard, but… 47 00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:46,166 You know, she ain't got no family around here. 48 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:47,708 Go ahead. 49 00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,250 I came to you with a case. 50 00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:52,958 I have a neighbor who wants to steal my parking space. 51 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:55,291 I park in that spot for ten years. 52 00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:59,458 And now, because it's a one-way street, he says it's his place 53 00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:02,583 and he parks there and I have no right to park there. 54 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,208 Mr. Dan, come here! 55 00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:10,875 Who's the boy? Shall we play "guess the lineage"? 56 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,083 Your mama's eyes, your big mama's nostrils, 57 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:16,125 and the ears are from your brother. 58 00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:18,166 He's a nephew. Okay, hired! 59 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:20,125 - Veronica! - Yes! 60 00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,583 - Get your stuff together and… - No! Man! 61 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,875 The boy here has come up with a case, look at it. 62 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:30,583 Parking… neighbor Tudor… no right… 63 00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:32,458 Yeah, sounds like an easy case. 64 00:03:32,541 --> 00:03:33,708 Who are you from? 65 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,416 From… 66 00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:40,416 me. 67 00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:43,500 That's funny! 68 00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:47,083 Okay. Now, seriously, who are you from? 69 00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:49,500 Some MP cousin, an aunt in the ministry? 70 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,666 We also accept in-laws, no problem. 71 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:55,041 We are not like we used to be, now we've changed. 72 00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:57,583 We accept godparents, godfathers, spiritual parents… 73 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,916 I don't know, sir, I have no one! 74 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,375 Then how can I help you? 75 00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:05,666 And I almost shut down Solitaire! 76 00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:09,083 Please excuse my husband. 77 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,083 Yeah, so you don't have any relation, nothing. 78 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:17,875 Then maybe… I don't know, we get along somehow… I don't know. 79 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,708 Ma'am, you want me to bribe you? 80 00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:22,000 What? Did I say something about a bribe? 81 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,583 Pardon! Sir, I didn't tell you anything about it! 82 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:25,875 Ten thousand lei. 83 00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:30,583 - How much money? I don't have that! - What money? I said nothing! 84 00:04:30,666 --> 00:04:32,375 Ten thousand lei. Perfect. 85 00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:34,333 - How can I give you so much? - What money? 86 00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:35,458 - Hey! - Ouch! 87 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,958 Hey, Nico, is that you? I haven't seen you in ages! 88 00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,083 Yeah, girl, I'm on sick leave for four years. 89 00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,583 God forbid, I could have…. 90 00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:44,833 I came to borrow some supplies for my son, he's starting school. 91 00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:47,375 - Ma'am! - Yes. 92 00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:49,625 I have every right to come in here and complain 93 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,125 that after all you're paid from my taxes! 94 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,500 Yes, yes… Whoops! It's 12:00! 95 00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:56,291 Lunch break! 96 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,125 - Until when? - Well, until tomorrow! 97 00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:05,500 If you don't know someone important… 98 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:30,583 {\an8}The stakes are high for the party who will win the presidential election. 99 00:06:30,666 --> 00:06:35,333 {\an8}EU promises Romania next year 20 billion euros for development. 100 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:38,458 {\an8}Also companies like Google, Amazon and Tesla 101 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:42,000 {\an8}would be interested in coming to Romania. With so much money from abroad, 102 00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:44,375 {\an8}it remains to be seen who will share the spoils. 103 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,125 It could use more parsley. 104 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,708 I washed my face with it. 105 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:05,375 Mr. Yellowish! 106 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,416 Where did you get this? 107 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,875 My cousin works in Brussels. 108 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:18,875 Escort. 109 00:07:18,958 --> 00:07:21,041 An MEP client gave it to her. 110 00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,333 Dear colleagues, we're fucked. 111 00:07:29,708 --> 00:07:33,291 EU will hit us with a fine of 40 billion euros next year 112 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:36,208 for all that has been stolen in the last 20 years. 113 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:37,833 The bill. 114 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,583 Basically, the bill has arrived. 115 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:44,250 My God! There will be nothing to steal for four years? 116 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,833 How did it get here? 117 00:07:57,625 --> 00:07:59,708 Oh, you fool, you're at ground floor! 118 00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:02,375 You're fucking crushing those pansies! 119 00:08:02,458 --> 00:08:04,541 City hall pansies, 100 euros each! 120 00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:07,750 A dog pissed here! 121 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,916 What solutions do you propose? 122 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,791 Maybe if we stole less… 123 00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:25,541 - Damn you! - Shut the hell up! 124 00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:27,250 Get the hell inside! 125 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,000 We will find 40 billion euros. 126 00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:34,250 We take it from something useless, education or health, 127 00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:36,666 because you die anyway… stupid. 128 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:41,375 Or could we tax churches? 129 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,333 I apologize, Father. 130 00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:54,416 Everybody who didn't rob the ARO company with me, to leave the room. 131 00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:06,708 We must lose the elections, 132 00:09:06,791 --> 00:09:09,000 without the EU money, we really have to work. 133 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,041 You know she's allergic to the "W" word. 134 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:17,458 How to lose elections? I'm still paying installments for the bribe! 135 00:09:17,541 --> 00:09:20,583 We must lose the elections badly, not to destroy the party! 136 00:09:20,666 --> 00:09:24,041 Călin, the polls show 38% in your favor! 137 00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:28,791 I'm out. We'll find a fake candidate… A puppet. 138 00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:31,833 - We call him party leader… - We put the PM in your place… 139 00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:34,000 And we let him embarrass us. 140 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,708 Until the elections, has every chance of dragging us down. 141 00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:37,916 Great! 142 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000 Is there a member with a college degree? 143 00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:43,208 - We all went to college! - Real college! 144 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,083 Andra, the intern. 145 00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:55,125 Andra! 146 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,541 Hello. 147 00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:02,166 What is your education? 148 00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:04,708 International law and Economic Policy, at Brussels. 149 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,416 What do voters want today? 150 00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:12,000 Andra, this is your chance! 151 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:14,000 OK. People today 152 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:17,750 seeks equality, diversity, equal rights and common sense. 153 00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:21,500 Good! I like the way this girl thinks. 154 00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:23,666 We need the opposite of everything she said. 155 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,416 - Andra! Come here. - Yes… 156 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:30,458 What an honor! 157 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:33,375 College in Brussels… 158 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,833 - And master degree. - And master degree! 159 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:40,000 - Do you speak Brussels? - A bit. 160 00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:41,291 A bit! 161 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:44,291 Dude, aren't you ashamed? You're pulling us up! 162 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,708 We don't want your kind in politics! You're spoiling the market! 163 00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,250 Wash that damn car! 164 00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:55,625 Very important. The party mustn't know what we're doing. 165 00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:56,625 Yes, yes, yes… 166 00:10:56,708 --> 00:10:59,125 More importantly, Redish and PSL can't know about the fine. 167 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:01,625 Let them win the elections and break their necks! 168 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,875 Blind, Cheese, do we have files for all party members? 169 00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,416 - Of course! - See you tomorrow at my house. 170 00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:11,958 - With everything? - All. 171 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,625 That's a lot. 172 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,041 Cheese. Come with me. 173 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:18,958 Come here. 174 00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,250 - I'm fine. - Come here. 175 00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:23,750 Slap me. 176 00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:25,541 Slap me! 177 00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:29,833 - Are you hitting me? - Me? 178 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:32,000 I'll give you an one-two and you'll fly under that car! 179 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:32,916 Simona! 180 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,083 Sit. 181 00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:38,583 We need someone not to know he's being manipulated. 182 00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:39,583 Even like it. 183 00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:44,833 We need a fool. 184 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:50,208 This one betrayed, this one betrayed, 185 00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:51,958 they arrested him, they're gonna arrest him… 186 00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:54,291 We have some OK, but not stupid enough. 187 00:11:54,375 --> 00:11:57,541 We have a party member in Focșani which has only four classes. 188 00:11:57,625 --> 00:11:58,875 Half the Senate is the same. 189 00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:04,208 In Titan district we have an old party member, 30-something years. 190 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:08,666 Unemployed, only high school, got fired from everywhere he worked, 191 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:12,583 last year's candidate as building president and lost. 192 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:16,958 - So what? If he lost, so what? - A dead man won! 193 00:12:17,916 --> 00:12:19,791 - Dead man? - Dead man. 194 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:21,208 Let me see. 195 00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,041 Costică… 196 00:12:24,125 --> 00:12:25,875 Officials will get the money. 197 00:12:25,958 --> 00:12:30,125 In Slatina, the mayor has solved poverty in a simple way. 198 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,000 He made it illegal. Who still considers themselves poor… 199 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:34,875 That's why nothing works in this country. 200 00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:36,500 …will be fined 500 lei. 201 00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:37,500 If it were up to me… 202 00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:41,916 - No! - Go lower. 203 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,541 I said don't leave the scooter here, God damn it! 204 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,875 Move it, I know you're keeping the space for your brother! 205 00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:48,958 What do you want, drunkard? 206 00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:52,208 Watch your mouth with the deputy building manager, bitch! 207 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:57,250 It's not a real job! Your dad put you to sweep, so he doesn't hire anyone! 208 00:12:57,333 --> 00:13:00,166 It's a job! Pro bono! 209 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,208 Where does it write your parking space? Let me see. 210 00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:03,208 - It does! - Where? 211 00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:04,750 In your mamma! 212 00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:08,708 Grandpa parked here, dad parked here, I'll park here. 213 00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:11,416 Man, if it were me president in this country… 214 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,208 - Get your hands off me! - Get outta here! 215 00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,125 You didn't make building president! 216 00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:18,625 - Go to your building entrance! - That's my entrance! 217 00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:21,833 It's not! Because you're adopted! Fuck you! 218 00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:25,041 I am not adop… 219 00:13:26,875 --> 00:13:29,750 How can you talk about this? I'll beat the shit out of you! 220 00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:32,791 - What, man, are picking on my brother? - What are you doing? 221 00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,958 You're putting your brother to steal the parking space? 222 00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:36,708 To steal what from you, you poor thing, 223 00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:38,958 it's not your parking space and here it's one way street! 224 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:43,041 - Mom! Am I adopted? - I'm pissing on your one-way street! 225 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,750 Do you think I don't know that you gave bribe at the city? 226 00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:48,333 What bribe did I give? I paid, it's the law! 227 00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:51,333 - Hey! - You fool, leave my baby alone! 228 00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,708 Aren't you ashamed to adopt children? 229 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,458 - So it's your parking space, huh? - Yes! 230 00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:59,833 Look! I spit on it! 231 00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:03,833 See if I will not get your car towed! Just watch me! 232 00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:05,666 And I spit on your car! 233 00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,125 - Hey, hey… - What, man? 234 00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:12,458 Did you see? 235 00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:14,833 - Am I adopted? - He said "adapted," man. 236 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:17,750 Adap… "adapted" he said, man? Did he? 237 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,583 - Do you want another one? - Is that all you got? 238 00:14:21,666 --> 00:14:23,458 You hit like a lady. 239 00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:28,250 Mr. Broken! 240 00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:30,416 Mr. Broken! 241 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:32,500 {\an8}Mr. Broken! 242 00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:33,666 {\an8}NO PARKIN 243 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,166 Do you have five minutes to discuss somewhere privately? 244 00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,166 Get in the car. 245 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,333 Ma'am, 246 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:50,583 my father taught me not to get in a car with strangers, 247 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:53,916 unless they have booze. 248 00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:56,791 Please. 249 00:14:58,291 --> 00:14:59,583 Oh, romantic! 250 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:05,833 - Gramercy! - Simona Windy. 251 00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:08,416 I know. 252 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,958 Anyone over 19 253 00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:12,500 masturbated at least once thinking of you. 254 00:15:13,708 --> 00:15:14,541 Sorry. 255 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,000 Thinking of you, ma'am. 256 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,875 I am honest, I say everything that comes into my head. 257 00:15:20,958 --> 00:15:21,958 That's why I'm here. 258 00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:25,833 You're a party member for 20 years. 259 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:27,416 I forgot. 260 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,125 - I joined when I was a kid. - But you're still a member. 261 00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:33,750 Your status never expired. 262 00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:37,416 It's 200 lei to renew your membership. 263 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,791 What for? 264 00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:43,541 Elections are coming. The big ones. 265 00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:46,083 And do you want me to hand out leaflets? 266 00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:48,958 I'm in! How much a day? Still 50 lei plus drinks? 267 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,625 Mr. Yellowish thought that we need new faces in the party, 268 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:55,666 unspoiled people like you. 269 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,750 We want you to run for president. 270 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:02,583 Come on, ma'am, I didn't make 40 neighbors to vote for me, 271 00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:03,833 let alone a whole country! 272 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:07,916 What is this, schnapps? 273 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,250 The truth is, this whole building president thing… 274 00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:15,000 you don't have to tell anyone, 275 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,125 but we made you lose the election. 276 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:21,083 Come on! How come? 277 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,625 I manipulated your neighbors not to vote for you, 278 00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:25,416 to for you to be free for your country. 279 00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:30,083 Romania needs a man to tell it like it is. 280 00:16:33,083 --> 00:16:34,125 I was sure! 281 00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:38,125 I was sure I wasn't that stupid that only my father would vote for me! 282 00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:40,708 - But I have no experience. - You have us. 283 00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:43,500 We believe in you a lot. 284 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,333 I… 285 00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:48,250 I believe in you a lot. 286 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,166 I really believe that you can change something in this country. 287 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,000 Even one-way streets? 288 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,208 You can't keep your mouth shut, Costică. 289 00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:02,375 You can't say everything that comes into your head. 290 00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:05,166 Well, if we all say what we think, there would only be wars! 291 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:06,625 I wanted you to be proud of me! 292 00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,666 Yes… you were stupid, that's what you were! 293 00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:11,375 I voted for you! The others voted Tudor's father. 294 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,958 Never mind! He's dead! 295 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:15,666 I was supposed to be building president! I have one vote! 296 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:20,750 Out of 50! 49 for Tudor's father! Well, his son is the unofficial president! 297 00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:22,875 We're both off unofficial! 298 00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,000 Anyway, 299 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:32,125 I got an offer to run where things are really decided. 300 00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:36,958 - Pension House. - To the presidency, man! 301 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,833 - How so? - Like that! 302 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,833 They charged me 200 lei to renew my membership, and I gave them. 303 00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:47,416 They say I have potential to change things in the country, to… 304 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,000 I have to pay 200 lei. 305 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:06,291 - Good evening. The utilities. - Four hundred and fifty-six. 306 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,833 - Tell her, man! Tell her too! - What? 307 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:13,958 The PLS told me they wanted me to be their presidential candidate. 308 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:15,958 So, they took 200 lei from him 309 00:18:16,041 --> 00:18:18,208 and they promised to make him President of Romania. 310 00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:20,916 This one's never heard of the "Accident" method! 311 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:23,958 Come on, Costică, seriously! 312 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:26,333 If you become president, I quit Onlyfans! 313 00:18:26,416 --> 00:18:27,250 Yo… 314 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:28,916 What? 315 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,083 I mean, I would, if I did. Which I don't. 316 00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:35,708 {\an8}Anyway, listen to him! President of Romania! 317 00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:40,541 What a pussy! 318 00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:52,166 How stupid he is, but to see his father! You know Marin! 319 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,750 He's allowed to smoke in the elevator, it's not the stairwell! 320 00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:58,666 Hey! Hey, hold on! 321 00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,375 Leave the car! 322 00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:03,583 Hey, leave the car! 323 00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:08,333 What have you done, Mr. President? He confiscated your limo? 324 00:19:08,416 --> 00:19:09,875 Who called them? 325 00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:15,791 Mr. President, do you call NATO to give us hot water? 326 00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:39,916 I got beeps from this number. 327 00:19:41,666 --> 00:19:42,500 Costică! 328 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:44,583 You don't have minutes. 329 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,500 The party can't wait to meet you. 330 00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,083 Mr. Broken! 331 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:32,250 My respects. I'm Călin Yellowish. 332 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:35,916 I know who you are. You are the party president. 333 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,458 Well, we'll see. They say I can't cope. 334 00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,458 They say we need someone younger, fresher, like you. 335 00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:48,208 - Well, I don't know… - Me neither. 336 00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:50,125 But in 30 years of politics 337 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:54,333 I learned that sometimes it's healthy to step aside. 338 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,416 Ready to help Romania? 339 00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,708 Yes. 340 00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,250 You know, I have opinions about everything. 341 00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:06,541 About the ceiling, about soccer, 342 00:21:06,625 --> 00:21:08,875 about the economy, about unique meanings, whatever. 343 00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:14,750 Man, he's so stupid! 344 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,291 For travel and subsistence expenses. 345 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,583 What are you doing, not reading first? 346 00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:30,500 What to read, because if we read all day we'd never leave the house! 347 00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:37,250 You don't get out! All day… 348 00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:40,500 Damn it! 349 00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:45,083 Colleagues, before we present to the party the candidate Broken, 350 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,875 I want to make him look like a real politician. 351 00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:50,375 - Sure! - Yeah… Come on over there. 352 00:21:50,458 --> 00:21:52,333 Nice thing, what thrift shop is it from? 353 00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,375 Okay. We got something to work with. 354 00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,500 We need to do something about this. 355 00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:15,916 What? Well, I don't have a belly. 356 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,333 That's exactly the problem. You need a little tummy. 357 00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:20,750 Let the people see that you'll have enough to eat tomorrow. 358 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,875 Romanians do not vote for slim politicians. 359 00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:25,375 - What about you? - We have been appointed. 360 00:22:33,291 --> 00:22:36,458 Don't jinx it! Like a senator for countryside! 361 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,625 Shake it! There you go… 362 00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:41,916 Now hard… now sincere… 363 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,541 Now that corrupt look. 364 00:22:43,625 --> 00:22:45,166 {\an8}VOTE COSTICĂ BROKEN FOR PRESIDENT 365 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:46,750 Okay. 366 00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:50,958 You have to choose your dowry. 367 00:22:51,791 --> 00:22:53,375 What type of buckets you give 368 00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,708 says a lot about you, as a politician. 369 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:56,833 Same with rice. 370 00:22:56,916 --> 00:22:58,625 The Oltenians prefer short-grain. 371 00:22:58,708 --> 00:23:01,000 Ardelenians are rich, they want long-grain. 372 00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:04,083 Man, I'm so hungry! 373 00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:09,500 SOMETHING AND HONOUR 374 00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:13,041 Training is over. You're ready to be a politician. 375 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:15,958 With God ahead! God help! 376 00:23:17,041 --> 00:23:18,458 Yes, what should we do? 377 00:23:19,083 --> 00:23:23,083 Well, for you to be a candidate, everyone has to vote for you as leader. 378 00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:25,125 They will collect the necessary signatures. 379 00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:27,750 You know how it is. Everybody dreams of being president. 380 00:23:29,916 --> 00:23:30,916 What fools! 381 00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:33,750 Are you ready to be party leader? 382 00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:38,125 - Yes, but what should I do? - Nothing. We convince them. 383 00:23:41,416 --> 00:23:42,458 Go, go, go! 384 00:23:47,791 --> 00:23:49,583 I made you a minister, asshole! 385 00:23:49,666 --> 00:23:52,583 I'll kill your kids, you hear me? How are you looking at me? 386 00:23:52,666 --> 00:23:55,458 Hey, get your hands off her! I'm talking here, I'm the boss! 387 00:23:57,083 --> 00:23:57,958 Negotiations. 388 00:23:58,041 --> 00:23:58,916 I'll kill you! 389 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,166 You bite the other ball! 390 00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:10,166 The vote is over. 391 00:24:10,250 --> 00:24:11,583 Democratic, as it should be. 392 00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:14,000 This way. 393 00:24:14,083 --> 00:24:16,208 He looks and moves perfectly. 394 00:24:16,291 --> 00:24:18,041 Redish won't suspect a thing. 395 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:20,750 Simona, don't let him out of your sight. 396 00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:23,750 You make sure he makes a fool of himself wherever he goes. 397 00:24:23,833 --> 00:24:25,000 Don't worry. 398 00:24:25,083 --> 00:24:27,708 I have every interest for you to be president in four years, 399 00:24:28,625 --> 00:24:31,250 because you're gonna need a tough premier. 400 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:40,583 {\an8}Călin Yellowish, PLS leader, 401 00:24:40,666 --> 00:24:42,791 {\an8}main promoters of parsley in soup, 402 00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:45,875 {\an8}has an important announcement to make. 403 00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:48,375 We have achieved many great things in the last year. 404 00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:53,958 - Highways, 400 meters. - It rained a lot! 405 00:24:55,041 --> 00:24:57,000 - At the villages. - At the villages! 406 00:24:57,083 --> 00:25:02,041 Thousands of hungry children received semi-professional soccer equipment. 407 00:25:02,125 --> 00:25:05,208 - To conquer their hunger! - Great! 408 00:25:08,416 --> 00:25:11,625 But there's more to do for Romania. 409 00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:14,000 Therefore, with emotion in my heart, 410 00:25:14,083 --> 00:25:16,083 I announce my retirement 411 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:18,833 from the leadership of the Liberal Social Party. 412 00:25:19,416 --> 00:25:23,250 - But alas, I can't believe it! - Yes! 413 00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:24,833 What an abandonment trauma! 414 00:25:24,916 --> 00:25:28,958 Romania needs someone younger, a visionary. 415 00:25:30,291 --> 00:25:34,041 Meet the new President of the Liberal Social Party. 416 00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:36,291 - Costică Broken. - Man! 417 00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:40,291 I don't know what to say to them. 418 00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:43,625 You have to speak your mind. Just those smart ideas of yours, huh? 419 00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:46,125 What if I don't know anything? 420 00:25:46,208 --> 00:25:47,458 Now you're a politician. 421 00:25:47,541 --> 00:25:51,166 Especially if you know nothing, it's essential to have a point of view. Go. 422 00:26:00,666 --> 00:26:01,708 Cheers! 423 00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:05,000 I'm happy to… 424 00:26:06,291 --> 00:26:08,000 I'm happy to be President. 425 00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:10,791 Who is this… who is this, man? 426 00:26:11,375 --> 00:26:13,833 A monkey. I don't care, they're all the same. 427 00:26:13,916 --> 00:26:15,583 Why be party leader? 428 00:26:15,666 --> 00:26:19,250 Are you also running for president? Why should people vote for you? 429 00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:22,208 Why not? 430 00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:26,291 That after, in any election all the assholes are running. 431 00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:27,416 Why not me? 432 00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:29,750 What can I spoil that wasn't already spoiled? 433 00:26:29,833 --> 00:26:32,958 Now a whole country will know how stupid he is, not just our building! 434 00:26:34,041 --> 00:26:35,958 It's normal that on the first day of the campaign 435 00:26:36,041 --> 00:26:38,333 you have a cigarette and a drink in your hand? 436 00:26:38,416 --> 00:26:40,625 Yes, that's normal, 437 00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:43,083 because from my tobacco tax highways are being built. 438 00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:45,541 - Is that why you drink? - Yes! That's why I drink! 439 00:26:45,625 --> 00:26:47,916 That if I didn't drink and smoke, you didn't have hospitals! 440 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,750 - We don't have any! - Because you don't drink! 441 00:26:49,833 --> 00:26:52,500 Because if you drink, you have all that! 442 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:55,250 From my taxes on vice this country was built! 443 00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:56,166 Another question. 444 00:26:57,291 --> 00:27:01,083 You don't seem to understand reality or words in general. 445 00:27:01,708 --> 00:27:03,791 What they recommend as party leader? 446 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,291 As party leader, 447 00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:09,916 yo momma recommends me! 448 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:15,666 He told him about his momma! 449 00:27:15,750 --> 00:27:18,500 {\an8}Yo momma recommends me as party leader. 450 00:27:18,583 --> 00:27:20,541 Fuck you, asshole! 451 00:27:20,625 --> 00:27:22,458 - Come on, sir, no! - Abuse! 452 00:27:24,916 --> 00:27:26,291 {\an8}Press! Abuse! 453 00:27:27,666 --> 00:27:29,916 I'm already thinking where Redish will go to jail. 454 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,416 Bite her! 455 00:27:33,375 --> 00:27:35,916 - Abuse! Freedom of the press! - Uncle Iulian! 456 00:27:37,041 --> 00:27:38,916 Pour another liter of highway. 457 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,708 {\an8}Technocrat, intellectual, shadow businessman… 458 00:27:43,791 --> 00:27:47,500 {\an8}Nobody knows what he does, but one thing is clear: 459 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:51,166 New PLS candidate for President of Romania 460 00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:52,916 is Costică Broken. 461 00:27:53,583 --> 00:27:54,416 Who? 462 00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:56,791 Who? 463 00:27:57,458 --> 00:27:58,291 Who? 464 00:27:58,375 --> 00:27:59,833 Have you seen the News? 465 00:27:59,916 --> 00:28:02,083 Yellowish is no longer running, he put another one. 466 00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:04,291 He must have realized he doesn't stand a chance to win. 467 00:28:04,375 --> 00:28:06,916 Four years of hard work to be president now… 468 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,750 - Well, that means… - It means! 469 00:28:08,833 --> 00:28:10,500 It means he wants to remain PM, 470 00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,958 to make the laws and steal all that money coming in. 471 00:28:13,041 --> 00:28:15,208 As president you don't make money, you're too visible. 472 00:28:16,083 --> 00:28:18,875 At parliamentary elections vote twice fewer fools, 473 00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:20,500 although that's where the money is. 474 00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:22,833 Listen to me, the government makes this country. 475 00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,333 - Sir. - Hi. 476 00:28:25,416 --> 00:28:26,666 A little present 477 00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:29,458 not to have the restaurant shut down by Health department. 478 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,250 - What is there? - A borsch with meatballs. 479 00:28:33,958 --> 00:28:38,166 How nice, more traditional, more modesty, as we like it! 480 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:39,333 Put it in the back. 481 00:28:40,916 --> 00:28:43,916 We'll help you. We'll do anything for ordinary people. 482 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,083 - Thank you. - God bless. 483 00:28:51,083 --> 00:28:53,583 Liviul, give me a tissue I've reached poverty. 484 00:28:53,666 --> 00:28:54,500 Here, boss. 485 00:28:57,125 --> 00:29:00,000 This Costică is an imbecile. Would you vote for him? 486 00:29:00,083 --> 00:29:01,791 Me? I am a real Romanian, 487 00:29:01,875 --> 00:29:03,500 I've never voted for who I want in my life. 488 00:29:03,583 --> 00:29:06,208 Well, you see? That's what I say! I don't think I'm running either. 489 00:29:07,208 --> 00:29:09,500 I'm putting my son in my place. Let's go to him. 490 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:13,541 {\an8}HERE LIVES VIOREL REDISH HONORARY CITIZEN OF IAȘI 491 00:29:16,833 --> 00:29:18,416 You must become the President of Romania! 492 00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:22,291 Dad, I don't want to work! 493 00:29:22,375 --> 00:29:24,833 You need to be the President of Romania, Siminel. 494 00:29:24,916 --> 00:29:28,250 - To help daddy in business. - But I won't! Let uncle do it! 495 00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:29,958 All in this family has a criminal record! 496 00:29:30,041 --> 00:29:31,083 Including your mother! 497 00:29:31,958 --> 00:29:33,958 But it doesn't make any sense, really! 498 00:29:34,041 --> 00:29:36,666 My friends will laugh, that I'm no longer a money child! 499 00:29:36,750 --> 00:29:40,208 They'll call me "employee"! 500 00:29:40,291 --> 00:29:43,333 They'll make me an access card! You know books scare me! 501 00:29:43,416 --> 00:29:45,583 They'll bully me at Monaco! 502 00:29:45,666 --> 00:29:47,333 If you don't become president, Siminel, 503 00:29:47,416 --> 00:29:50,708 goodbye asphalt contracts, goodbye revolutionary certificate! 504 00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:53,333 Eight years in opposition, we have nothing to take from Moldova, 505 00:29:53,416 --> 00:29:56,000 we must take from the Transylvanians, fuck those democrats assholes! 506 00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:59,333 I don't want to work! I don't want to! I'm coming out! 507 00:29:59,416 --> 00:30:00,333 Gross! Work! 508 00:30:00,416 --> 00:30:04,250 If you don't become president of Romania, I confiscate your escorts! 509 00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,375 Come on! We laugh, we joke, 510 00:30:06,458 --> 00:30:08,791 but we are still human, we are not animals. 511 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:11,083 Yes? Ladies, please! 512 00:30:11,666 --> 00:30:14,208 Dad, not the escorts! Please, dad! 513 00:30:14,291 --> 00:30:16,875 Just leave me one, I will have no one to talk to! 514 00:30:16,958 --> 00:30:18,708 - No, please don't go! - Let her go! 515 00:30:27,041 --> 00:30:30,833 The escorts go to their homes, also paid with my money 516 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,625 and they'll be there until you get diligent! 517 00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:37,625 Siminel, 518 00:30:38,166 --> 00:30:40,458 if you become president of Romania, 519 00:30:40,541 --> 00:30:44,250 we will be in power and you can make whatever laws you want! 520 00:30:44,333 --> 00:30:46,125 Legalizing escorts? 521 00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:49,958 No, economy, land seizures, forest confiscations… 522 00:30:50,041 --> 00:30:51,250 First Escort Program! 523 00:30:51,916 --> 00:30:54,166 How did he become such an idiot at 35, I don't understand! 524 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:55,375 - Thirty-seven. - What? 525 00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:58,000 - Thirty-seven. - You don't even know how old I am! 526 00:30:58,583 --> 00:31:01,416 Did I tell you they want to make me president? 527 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,958 Did I tell you I'm not a fool? 528 00:31:03,041 --> 00:31:04,541 - Yeah? - I'm not coming home! 529 00:31:04,625 --> 00:31:05,833 - Hey… - I have a place to sleep. 530 00:31:05,916 --> 00:31:07,708 - I have powerful friends. - Where have you been? 531 00:31:07,791 --> 00:31:12,375 - Don't worry. - Come home! Come home, do you hear me? 532 00:31:12,458 --> 00:31:17,000 How? If I give a… He's lucky he's my dad! 533 00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:22,125 - Who were you arguing with? - My dad. 534 00:31:22,208 --> 00:31:24,541 That it's not a good thing to became president. 535 00:31:25,375 --> 00:31:27,041 He should be more supportive. 536 00:31:28,708 --> 00:31:29,916 That's how he backs me up. 537 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,583 - Calling you stupid? - Well, doesn't every dad do that? 538 00:31:33,333 --> 00:31:36,083 Wait, where are you going? Let's say goodbye. 539 00:31:37,083 --> 00:31:39,333 Mommy kisses you. Money's on the table. 540 00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:44,458 - Listen! Is it hard being a politician? - No big deal. 541 00:31:44,541 --> 00:31:46,833 You just need to know how to lie without blinking. 542 00:31:46,916 --> 00:31:49,500 - Well, that's not nice. - But it is necessary. 543 00:31:49,583 --> 00:31:51,583 Romanians cannot bear to hear the truth. 544 00:31:51,666 --> 00:31:54,750 You have to tell them what they want to hear, to get what you want. 545 00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:57,541 - But I don't know how to lie. - But don't lie. 546 00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:00,750 Tell the opposite of truth, for their own good. And for your own good. 547 00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:02,666 After all, it's a common good, right? 548 00:32:03,416 --> 00:32:05,416 I didn't understand anything, but you convinced me. 549 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:07,833 Wait, wait! 550 00:32:12,458 --> 00:32:15,833 - Mommy kisses you. - Do you know what I don't understand? 551 00:32:15,916 --> 00:32:19,625 {\an8}What's the difference between PLS and PSL? It sounds the same. 552 00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:21,500 Parsley! 553 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:25,250 - Parsley? - Yes. 554 00:32:26,791 --> 00:32:28,625 After 30 years of switching sides, 555 00:32:28,708 --> 00:32:31,291 the only difference between the left and right is parsley. 556 00:32:32,291 --> 00:32:34,333 Right-wingers love parsley in soup. 557 00:32:34,416 --> 00:32:36,583 - The leftists hate it. - Sounds stupid. 558 00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:43,500 - Do you like parsley in your soup? - Of course. What am I, an animal? 559 00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:49,041 - See? You're a liberal-social. - Hello! Can't we say hello? 560 00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:52,958 You don't deserve it! 561 00:32:53,541 --> 00:32:56,625 How can you not know what a train is? Come on, choo-choo! Go! 562 00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,875 SOMETHING AND HONOUR 563 00:32:58,958 --> 00:33:01,916 - Where is that idiot? - No idea. He was supposed to be here. 564 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:02,833 Yeah. 565 00:33:02,916 --> 00:33:06,958 - Ma'am! - Slowly, patiently, one at a time. 566 00:33:07,041 --> 00:33:09,458 Where is the surprise PLS candidate? Late? 567 00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:14,166 {\an8}Now you know, he's ours, I don't want to speak ill of anyone, 568 00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:16,416 {\an8}but discipline is not his strong point. 569 00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,708 Just a second, he'll be right with you. Right away. 570 00:33:18,791 --> 00:33:19,625 Sorry. 571 00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:26,708 - Costică! - Right away! 572 00:33:26,791 --> 00:33:28,500 I stopped by the house to get my toothbrush. 573 00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:30,541 - Very good. - Did that stray dog attack you? 574 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:33,250 - How do you feel about stray dogs? - No, he's my dog. 575 00:33:33,333 --> 00:33:36,500 - That's how he loves me. I raised him. - So he really is a stray. 576 00:33:36,583 --> 00:33:39,916 No. He's a house dog, but he lives on the street. 577 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,791 - What do you mean? - Are you stupid? 578 00:33:41,875 --> 00:33:44,583 He sleeps on the street at night, during the day he pees in the house! 579 00:33:44,666 --> 00:33:47,208 - Well, I know you from somewhere! - No, no, no! 580 00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:48,458 One second, just a second! 581 00:33:48,541 --> 00:33:51,375 I apologize. I didn't caught the 311 bus. 582 00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:54,166 And you thought about stealing a scooter? 583 00:33:55,041 --> 00:33:56,625 What do you mean, stealing a scooter? 584 00:33:59,125 --> 00:34:02,708 As you can see, PLS candidate Costică Broken 585 00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:06,250 came to this ceremony on a stolen scooter. 586 00:34:06,333 --> 00:34:10,083 That's him as a man. These are his values. 587 00:34:10,166 --> 00:34:11,958 Is it true you stole a scooter? 588 00:34:12,041 --> 00:34:14,916 No. That's how I use them, I don't have a card. 589 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,375 My dad taught me it's not good to keep money on a credit card. 590 00:34:22,291 --> 00:34:23,833 You can't appreciate… 591 00:34:23,916 --> 00:34:26,250 Costică, you have something to pass on those at home? 592 00:34:30,666 --> 00:34:33,416 {\an8}BROKEN (PLS) FIRST TIME STATEMENTS 593 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:38,375 {\an8}You didn't want me at entrance B and they want me for president? 594 00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:41,958 Fuck you! Tudor! 595 00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:42,875 Thank you! 596 00:34:42,958 --> 00:34:46,250 I made little flags, ten euros each, I said they cost 100. Just to be safe. 597 00:34:46,333 --> 00:34:47,541 - Perfect. - Put these in. 598 00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:48,666 Costică, take these. 599 00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:52,458 {\an8}Come on, please! Come on, please, to tell you how I… 600 00:34:52,541 --> 00:34:55,166 {\an8}how I almost died in Roman. 601 00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:56,375 {\an8}- How? - How? 602 00:34:56,958 --> 00:34:57,958 {\an8}I was in Roman. 603 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,625 {\an8}Animal lover and environmentalist. 604 00:35:06,166 --> 00:35:09,458 {\an8}PLS candidate up 10% in the polls 605 00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:13,291 {\an8}after stating he prefers public transportation. 606 00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:18,166 {\an8}Although Costică's tour has just started, 81% of respondents agree 607 00:35:18,250 --> 00:35:21,708 {\an8}that pollution pose a major danger. 608 00:35:21,791 --> 00:35:25,833 {\an8}Thus, the unknown Broken comes second in the polls 609 00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:30,333 {\an8}just ten points behind Siminel Redish, PSL. 610 00:35:30,416 --> 00:35:34,000 I am Siminel Redish and I support for the Romanian presidency… me. 611 00:35:35,125 --> 00:35:37,375 I have several solutions to turn Romania around, 612 00:35:37,458 --> 00:35:38,958 especially the Dorobanți neighborhood, 613 00:35:39,041 --> 00:35:41,750 where I pay too much rent for Rebecca and Moni, seriously. 614 00:35:41,833 --> 00:35:44,916 "Milk and Croissant" program will be replaced by "Champagne and Rolex" 615 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,333 because it's inhuman to drink milk on a yacht at 95 degrees 616 00:35:47,416 --> 00:35:49,041 and with a croissant you can't get girls. 617 00:35:49,125 --> 00:35:51,416 How much more will the Romans suffer? 618 00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:55,666 - What did you write there, man? - Wait, wait, wait! 619 00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:58,583 Romanians! Come closer with that 620 00:35:58,666 --> 00:36:00,958 I don't read well, damn your diacritics! 621 00:36:01,041 --> 00:36:01,958 Well, wait, that… 622 00:36:02,041 --> 00:36:04,208 Look what you've done! Let's start again! 623 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,208 Renaming Romania's capital from Bucharest to Dubai-rest. 624 00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:12,000 Businessmen come, they invest here, the business rise, so do the escorts, 625 00:36:12,083 --> 00:36:14,000 it's the perfect money circuit in nature! 626 00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:19,125 And most importantly, political asylum for Brazilian women! 627 00:36:19,208 --> 00:36:21,458 Write there, to be Brazilian women, 628 00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,666 multiple feminine or whatever when there are more, like. 629 00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:25,958 - Plural. - Plural. 630 00:36:29,166 --> 00:36:30,416 What is this shit? 631 00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:32,250 Do you know that Costică got 10% more? 632 00:36:32,333 --> 00:36:38,083 Ten percent out of 100%, square root of 38, negligible epsilon. 633 00:36:38,166 --> 00:36:41,541 - Plus minus mode X we're fine… - It's bad! 634 00:36:44,875 --> 00:36:47,583 - Can you ride a scooter? - But what am I, poor? 635 00:36:48,166 --> 00:36:51,625 - Did you go by bus? - Yes, on vacation in Monaco, twice. 636 00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:54,125 No, this one of ours, Romanian, from Turkey. 637 00:36:54,208 --> 00:36:55,625 The ones from Little Gabi? 638 00:36:56,541 --> 00:36:58,125 But what are you doing there? 639 00:36:59,208 --> 00:37:00,250 What you got there? 640 00:37:00,333 --> 00:37:02,791 I walk backwards. It's supposed to be good for the face. 641 00:37:02,875 --> 00:37:04,291 - What have you got here? - Nothing. 642 00:37:04,375 --> 00:37:05,208 - Move! - How about you? 643 00:37:05,291 --> 00:37:06,375 Move! 644 00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,666 - What's that? - I keep her for a friend! 645 00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:13,125 - Goodbye, miss. - Dad, please! 646 00:37:13,208 --> 00:37:15,333 Her name is Larissa with two S's! It's so rare! 647 00:37:16,166 --> 00:37:18,791 - Move. - Dad, have mercy, she's from Ukraine! 648 00:37:18,875 --> 00:37:23,375 - Alas, war! Oh, I'm so sorry! - What war? No! Have mercy on me! 649 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:26,000 She said she love me and I'm the only one she slept with. 650 00:37:26,083 --> 00:37:26,916 Goodbye! 651 00:37:27,916 --> 00:37:30,166 Dad! Please! 652 00:37:30,250 --> 00:37:32,083 - I'm from Colentina. - Forget it. 653 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:34,583 Come on, it's not hard scootering, I'll show you. 654 00:37:34,666 --> 00:37:37,166 Right! Liviu has more experience of being poor. 655 00:37:37,958 --> 00:37:42,166 You need to start doing that kind of people stuff, like subway. 656 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,416 No more luxuries. 657 00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:47,375 You have to show them that you are one of them, from below, from… 658 00:37:47,458 --> 00:37:48,291 Carpet! 659 00:37:48,375 --> 00:37:49,958 - From the people! - People! 660 00:37:50,041 --> 00:37:51,958 - Sergei! - Yes, comrade! 661 00:37:52,041 --> 00:37:54,250 Sergei! You're our intern on social media. 662 00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:57,250 Man, we need something new, something innovative, 663 00:37:57,333 --> 00:37:59,375 that now the youth it's with the internet, with that… 664 00:37:59,458 --> 00:38:03,833 - I know! Let's give them mass on MIRC! - Let flood them! 665 00:38:04,375 --> 00:38:07,750 We're kicking their bots and we put our own. 666 00:38:07,833 --> 00:38:09,375 That's what I'm talking about! 667 00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:11,708 And what networks do they use young people today? 668 00:38:11,791 --> 00:38:14,208 Tik Tok, I'm live every night if you want. 669 00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:15,541 - Hi5! - Better! 670 00:38:16,416 --> 00:38:18,375 We make him a MySpace account 671 00:38:19,166 --> 00:38:20,416 with jokes like… 672 00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:23,041 "Have a good day for coffee!" 673 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,250 Yeah, except he doesn't drink coffee. 674 00:38:34,083 --> 00:38:35,625 To say it ironically! 675 00:38:37,083 --> 00:38:39,541 Ironically? 676 00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:43,833 - I don't know if that's… kinky! - Good… 677 00:38:43,916 --> 00:38:45,958 You mean, I drink coffee, but I don't drink coffee! 678 00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:48,041 - Listen! - Old snake! 679 00:38:49,125 --> 00:38:50,875 Long live Mr. Mayor! 680 00:38:50,958 --> 00:38:53,791 You have done beautiful things, we still elect you. 681 00:38:53,875 --> 00:38:54,708 I'm glad. 682 00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:57,333 The Bitcoin has grown, damn it! 683 00:38:57,416 --> 00:39:00,083 - If I wasn't on… - Hey, here come the townies! 684 00:39:00,166 --> 00:39:03,375 Oh, they're coming! Come on! Let's be stupid! 685 00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:05,750 Let's be stupid, come on! 686 00:39:07,750 --> 00:39:13,750 PLS! 687 00:39:35,041 --> 00:39:38,291 Thank you very much! Hello! God help! 688 00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:40,083 Welcome to our commune! 689 00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:46,166 Wow! Rice! 690 00:39:47,208 --> 00:39:50,958 We were expecting a sewage, but rice it's good too! 691 00:39:53,541 --> 00:39:55,458 So, what's up, what's the catch? 692 00:39:55,541 --> 00:39:58,416 Let there be factories! Let's have jobs! 693 00:39:59,333 --> 00:40:00,750 Make factories! 694 00:40:00,833 --> 00:40:03,875 - Our young people are starving! - That's right! 695 00:40:03,958 --> 00:40:06,958 - He's right, yes! He's right! - People! 696 00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:09,125 - Yes! - Yes! 697 00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:11,000 You don't need factories! 698 00:40:12,166 --> 00:40:14,958 The city people will come, they shoot Ceaușescu, 699 00:40:15,041 --> 00:40:16,916 the factory is going bankrupt, my father told me! 700 00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:22,250 - You need something else! - What? 701 00:40:22,333 --> 00:40:23,208 Pawnshop! 702 00:40:24,500 --> 00:40:25,583 Pawnshop! 703 00:40:25,666 --> 00:40:28,875 - Do you have an apartment building here? - We've got… one building! 704 00:40:28,958 --> 00:40:30,583 - One building. - Where the poor live! 705 00:40:31,541 --> 00:40:33,541 - Where is it? - The one from… 706 00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:34,583 In the bushes. 707 00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:39,083 - Come with me! - Come on! 708 00:41:02,583 --> 00:41:04,791 On any ground floor of a building of flats 709 00:41:04,875 --> 00:41:09,125 you're making a pawnshop, like Tezaur, appears right next to it, slots. 710 00:41:09,208 --> 00:41:13,250 Man plays slots, loses, pawns the TV. 711 00:41:15,083 --> 00:41:19,458 To get the TV out of the pawnshop, he needs to take out a bank loan. 712 00:41:19,541 --> 00:41:21,333 There's a bank next to the pawnshop! 713 00:41:21,416 --> 00:41:25,291 And that's six new jobs! 714 00:41:25,375 --> 00:41:28,833 Here comes the envelope from the bank, a man sees the interest, his heart aches. 715 00:41:28,916 --> 00:41:31,750 There's a pharmacy next to the bank! 716 00:41:31,833 --> 00:41:33,708 - Twelve jobs! - Twelve! 717 00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:37,625 You spend money on drugs, you go hungry. 718 00:41:37,708 --> 00:41:41,500 There's a bagel shop next to the drugstore 719 00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:45,083 and that's how jobs are created and the economy will grow! 720 00:41:45,708 --> 00:41:49,125 City people will work at the bank, because they have college! 721 00:41:50,916 --> 00:41:54,291 You don't get city people here if you don't have asphalt. 722 00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:59,333 And so we don't have to asphalt! 723 00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:01,500 With this money better build a school! 724 00:42:02,875 --> 00:42:07,791 No! No, from school, more city people come out! 725 00:42:07,875 --> 00:42:09,166 Young people are leaving! 726 00:42:11,458 --> 00:42:12,958 Man, he is right. 727 00:42:14,291 --> 00:42:15,291 Teacher! 728 00:42:16,625 --> 00:42:17,500 You're fired! 729 00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:19,750 Go back to town, damn it! 730 00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:27,500 In my hood there's a bank next to pharmacy next to bank next to pawnshop! 731 00:42:28,916 --> 00:42:30,666 This is how Bucharest rose! 732 00:42:32,125 --> 00:42:32,958 On pawnshop! 733 00:42:33,666 --> 00:42:35,500 Only on pawnshop! 734 00:42:38,291 --> 00:42:42,416 Only on pawnshop! 735 00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:46,375 Only on pawnshop! 736 00:42:46,458 --> 00:42:52,875 Only on pawnshop! 737 00:42:54,041 --> 00:42:58,666 Only on pawnshop! This man speaks my language. 738 00:42:58,750 --> 00:43:00,541 Come on! You're rolling, right? 739 00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:03,541 - Yes! - Come on, you're almost there! Come on! 740 00:43:03,625 --> 00:43:05,708 Dad, let me see a picture of an escort, 741 00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:07,500 to give a like, a tip, anything, please, dad! 742 00:43:07,583 --> 00:43:09,500 No escort, how many times do I have to tell you? 743 00:43:09,583 --> 00:43:10,666 Aren't you a embarrassed? 744 00:43:10,750 --> 00:43:13,250 I didn't sell a forest to get you all kinds of implants? 745 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:17,000 I salute you, sir! You don't want to learn to use a scooter! 746 00:43:17,083 --> 00:43:18,833 Siminel, it's not hard! I'll teach you! 747 00:43:18,916 --> 00:43:19,875 I'm holding your hand! 748 00:43:19,958 --> 00:43:23,250 There we go. Siminel! 749 00:43:23,333 --> 00:43:25,000 Trust me, come on! I got you! 750 00:43:25,791 --> 00:43:26,875 - Great! - I'm flying! 751 00:43:26,958 --> 00:43:30,458 Come on, I got you! Go! 752 00:43:30,541 --> 00:43:33,125 All alone! All by myself, daddy! 753 00:43:33,208 --> 00:43:35,958 First you ask him what he thinks about riding the subway. 754 00:43:36,041 --> 00:43:38,750 Then you ask him what he thinks has about his opponent, yes? 755 00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:41,625 - Got it. - Did you see that, dad? Did you? 756 00:43:41,708 --> 00:43:42,791 I'm a hipster now! 757 00:43:42,875 --> 00:43:45,625 Somebody give me a sheet, to have a cigarette! 758 00:43:45,708 --> 00:43:47,458 And a sweatshirt, from a thrift shop! 759 00:43:48,541 --> 00:43:49,666 Vote PSL! 760 00:43:49,750 --> 00:43:52,916 {\an8}- I touched a poor! - Don't look in their eyes! 761 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,875 {\an8}- I looked! - It's the only way to pass it on! 762 00:43:54,958 --> 00:43:59,041 {\an8}- Siminel Redish fainting! - Come on, son! 763 00:43:59,125 --> 00:44:00,750 {\an8}Come on, dad'll give you the escorts! 764 00:44:01,583 --> 00:44:04,416 {\an8}However, witnesses say before he passed out, 765 00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,833 {\an8}had a panic attack while shouting: 766 00:44:06,916 --> 00:44:10,166 {\an8}"I don't want at the white snake!" 767 00:44:10,250 --> 00:44:11,083 {\an8}In the meantime, 768 00:44:11,166 --> 00:44:13,958 {\an8}Costică is becoming increasingly popular while visiting the country. 769 00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:16,541 {\an8}Money for the old women! 770 00:44:16,625 --> 00:44:20,708 Old women sit on the fence all day anyway, they know everything that moves, 771 00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:26,125 so instead of surveillance cameras, surveillance old women! 772 00:45:01,166 --> 00:45:04,500 {\an8}After making a sensation with the "Pawnshop State" program, 773 00:45:04,583 --> 00:45:09,333 {\an8}he would have been seen drinking side by side with the village mayor. 774 00:45:09,416 --> 00:45:11,791 {\an8}After they emptied a demijohn of wine, 775 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,291 {\an8}Costică allegedly got into a fight with the mayor 776 00:45:14,375 --> 00:45:16,250 {\an8}saying that, and I quote, 777 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:18,000 {\an8}"Why are you staring on me?" 778 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:21,958 {\an8}After the fight, the election bus continued its way through the country 779 00:45:22,041 --> 00:45:24,916 {\an8}in Făgăraș where Costică inaugurated 780 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,125 {\an8}a center for reintegration of violent minors in society. 781 00:45:31,458 --> 00:45:32,583 I feel sick. 782 00:45:33,208 --> 00:45:35,041 It's too bad they caught you to get arrested. 783 00:45:35,125 --> 00:45:38,375 They look on me and say, "What's wrong?" and he's hitting! But he hits here. 784 00:45:40,291 --> 00:45:44,208 And he… That's why I'm telling you kids, when the cops come, run! 785 00:45:44,291 --> 00:45:48,541 Fearless like Costică! 786 00:45:48,625 --> 00:45:52,083 Fearless like Costică! 787 00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:55,625 I'm pretty sure that Yellowish is rubbing his hands with joy now. 788 00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,916 Man, I get so dehydrated when I get angry! 789 00:46:02,125 --> 00:46:04,791 How much money we usually give to promote a candidate? 790 00:46:05,375 --> 00:46:08,416 About two million euros, depending on the newspaper or TV station. 791 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:12,041 We should give this money to stop reporting this guy's crap. 792 00:46:12,125 --> 00:46:15,583 At this rate he's gonna overtake Siminel in two weeks! 793 00:46:15,666 --> 00:46:17,208 Well, let's reduce his chances. 794 00:46:19,958 --> 00:46:21,791 Costică needs a little help. 795 00:46:22,625 --> 00:46:24,291 He should visit a school. 796 00:46:25,875 --> 00:46:29,333 Any school, number 11 from Iași. 797 00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:31,625 Iași? That's Redish's city. 798 00:46:31,708 --> 00:46:33,916 - We go to the wolf's den. - Okay. 799 00:46:36,291 --> 00:46:41,250 - Are you done? How much more can you do? - But stop it, woman! 800 00:46:41,333 --> 00:46:43,958 Don't get it caught in your fly again, we're out of ice. 801 00:46:44,583 --> 00:46:45,458 Asshole! 802 00:46:45,541 --> 00:46:47,666 But wait, woman! 803 00:46:48,625 --> 00:46:50,541 Now people will think my name is Co! 804 00:46:50,625 --> 00:46:52,791 {\an8}VOTE COX 805 00:47:01,958 --> 00:47:05,625 I feel like I'm finally expanding myself, culturally speaking. 806 00:47:05,708 --> 00:47:09,625 - I've never been to the country… - We are in the center of Iasi. 807 00:47:11,916 --> 00:47:13,458 We must pick a child. 808 00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:19,625 Too ugly… 809 00:47:20,291 --> 00:47:21,333 Too ugly… 810 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,333 This one's toothless, he's of no use to me. 811 00:47:24,416 --> 00:47:27,250 - Let me see. - That's a redhead. Go find a treasure! 812 00:47:28,875 --> 00:47:33,041 - How's the little girl? What sign is she? - Gemini. 813 00:47:33,125 --> 00:47:35,208 I can't. Get out of my sight! 814 00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:37,458 This one. 815 00:47:37,541 --> 00:47:39,166 - What's your name? - Vlăduț. 816 00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:41,166 Vlăduț! Listen, Vlăduț. 817 00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:42,875 When this guy comes to visit, 818 00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:46,458 you go to him and you ask him mega fun question, okay? 819 00:47:46,541 --> 00:47:49,791 - Give me a good price. - Well, 2016 model… 820 00:47:49,875 --> 00:47:52,458 - Seven hundred. - Two grand, you negotiated well. 821 00:47:55,041 --> 00:47:56,583 This one thinks he's smart, huh? 822 00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:58,708 VOTE COSTICĂ BROKEN FOR PRESIDENT 823 00:48:04,875 --> 00:48:07,166 Hello! 824 00:48:07,250 --> 00:48:10,958 Hello. 3rd grade B welcomes you… 825 00:48:13,708 --> 00:48:16,125 Well, have you lured me into a trap? 826 00:48:23,750 --> 00:48:27,416 Come on, teacher! We know stuff too! 827 00:48:32,875 --> 00:48:34,333 Uncle Broken! 828 00:48:35,125 --> 00:48:38,958 Why does your government hate children? 829 00:48:39,791 --> 00:48:42,458 What? No… I don't hate kids! 830 00:48:42,541 --> 00:48:45,000 So why do I go to bed hungry at night? 831 00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:47,500 Because textbooks are expensive? 832 00:48:49,375 --> 00:48:50,916 Is that food? 833 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,333 Can I taste one? 834 00:48:52,416 --> 00:48:55,166 Really, Mr. Brokn! I've long wanted to ask you 835 00:48:55,250 --> 00:48:58,500 how are you going to solve education issue, sir! 836 00:48:58,583 --> 00:49:03,125 We're hungry! 837 00:49:03,208 --> 00:49:05,083 We want solutions! 838 00:49:05,166 --> 00:49:09,291 We want solutions! 839 00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:14,666 Solutions? The solution would be to… 840 00:49:14,750 --> 00:49:18,750 Less school! 841 00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:23,333 - What? - Stop teaching grammar. 842 00:49:24,291 --> 00:49:27,083 It's useless anyway. You understand me, right? 843 00:49:27,625 --> 00:49:29,208 - Yes! - Sit down! 844 00:49:29,291 --> 00:49:32,583 You understand me. Actually, no textbooks. 845 00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:39,041 Why do children in Romania spend cigarette money on grammar books? 846 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,875 And how is that going to solve anything, 847 00:49:43,958 --> 00:49:48,750 given that in Romania the functional illiteracy rate is 43%? 848 00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:50,750 Stop it, fool! 849 00:49:50,833 --> 00:49:53,333 We will take urgent actions… 850 00:49:53,416 --> 00:49:55,625 What urgent actions, sir? 851 00:50:05,375 --> 00:50:11,583 Â from A to become again Î from I, 852 00:50:11,666 --> 00:50:13,208 like it used to be, 853 00:50:14,208 --> 00:50:17,125 and there goes half the illiterates. 854 00:50:19,958 --> 00:50:22,041 Commas are implied. 855 00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:28,125 "Than" or "just", why to have two? "Justhan"! 856 00:50:30,583 --> 00:50:33,458 And, kids, actually, these grammar changes 857 00:50:33,541 --> 00:50:37,083 are just a distraction maneuver from what really matters! 858 00:50:38,041 --> 00:50:39,666 Salaries for students! 859 00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:46,416 Why only pay teachers to screw around? 860 00:50:50,791 --> 00:50:53,750 Three thousand lei salary for every student! 861 00:50:55,041 --> 00:50:59,750 - Dude, are you crazy? 30 million? - Hey! Where does he get it, man? 862 00:50:59,833 --> 00:51:02,791 {\an8}And 100 lei grade A! 863 00:51:04,958 --> 00:51:07,000 - A-! - B! 864 00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:08,458 - B-! - No! Do I hear a B-? 865 00:51:08,541 --> 00:51:09,958 - Lower! - C? 866 00:51:10,041 --> 00:51:12,291 - Give him C! C! - Does anyone give less? 867 00:51:12,375 --> 00:51:13,250 - C? - Shut up! 868 00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:14,208 C! I was getting C's! 869 00:51:14,291 --> 00:51:17,583 One hundred lei for grade C! 870 00:51:21,291 --> 00:51:23,541 - Okay, Costică! - Nothing to be happy about! 871 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:24,750 I vote for him! 872 00:51:26,208 --> 00:51:29,791 I'm leaving because I have an exam at biology. See you. 873 00:51:29,875 --> 00:51:33,708 Dude, you think this is for real everything this stupid guy says? 874 00:51:36,125 --> 00:51:39,625 If there was like this in our day, we were becoming doctors. 875 00:51:39,708 --> 00:51:42,625 Still drunk, but drunk doctors. 876 00:51:42,708 --> 00:51:47,000 {\an8}Costică Broken takes 1st place in the polls in Moldova 877 00:51:47,083 --> 00:51:52,291 {\an8}where more families with 4-5 children have already taken out a new home loan 878 00:51:52,375 --> 00:51:57,000 {\an8}waiting for the money the little ones will receive it as a student's salary. 879 00:51:57,083 --> 00:51:58,875 {\an8}Meanwhile, Redish and Broken 880 00:51:58,958 --> 00:52:01,833 {\an8}are getting ready for the first electoral debate. 881 00:52:02,916 --> 00:52:05,625 That's why I promise that for me all Romans are important! 882 00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:08,375 But working women 883 00:52:08,458 --> 00:52:15,333 in the textile industry of Honest are my number one priority! 884 00:52:16,541 --> 00:52:17,375 Number one! 885 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:21,541 You're number one! You're number one, you get the fuck outta here! 886 00:52:22,416 --> 00:52:25,833 Two words. Videochat union. 887 00:52:25,916 --> 00:52:28,125 No, no. Listen to me. 888 00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,958 We must respect rights and benefits 889 00:52:31,041 --> 00:52:35,916 of 400,000 Romanians women who carry our country's economy. 890 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,708 Thanks to you it's vibrating! 891 00:52:38,333 --> 00:52:41,625 Without you we wouldn't have the third fastest internet in Europe! 892 00:52:41,708 --> 00:52:45,041 And no profitable restaurants in the round at Alba Iulia! 893 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:52,958 Vote Costică Broken! Vote parsley! 894 00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:57,833 You speak Romanian well. You're from Bangladesh, right? 895 00:52:57,916 --> 00:52:59,708 No. From Nepal. 896 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:04,666 - That's Bangladesh, right? - No. It's another country. 897 00:53:05,833 --> 00:53:08,750 - But have you been to Bangladesh? - Yes. I went on vacation. 898 00:53:10,291 --> 00:53:11,958 Did you see that I know what I know? 899 00:53:12,958 --> 00:53:15,083 You're hired. Let me show you the basement. 900 00:53:19,416 --> 00:53:22,291 Good evening and welcome to ANGRY TV. 901 00:53:22,375 --> 00:53:24,250 So electoral debate, 902 00:53:24,333 --> 00:53:29,166 Siminel Redish challenged him, and Costică accepted. Please. 903 00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:31,958 {\an8}From PLS, 904 00:53:32,041 --> 00:53:37,791 {\an8}Constantin Mario Inzaghi Broken, 905 00:53:37,875 --> 00:53:44,333 {\an8}and from PSL, Siminel Tudor Redish! 906 00:53:50,541 --> 00:53:51,375 {\an8}Yeah? 907 00:53:52,875 --> 00:53:54,041 I'm not doing anything, talk! 908 00:53:56,125 --> 00:53:58,250 How to bring a Nepalese instead of me? 909 00:53:59,041 --> 00:54:02,875 I don't care if they're hardworking! No, he's not sleeping on my couch! 910 00:54:04,291 --> 00:54:05,291 Hey, dad! You… 911 00:54:08,083 --> 00:54:10,791 Mister… 912 00:54:11,875 --> 00:54:13,208 Brokn. 913 00:54:13,291 --> 00:54:15,500 I have just one question for you 914 00:54:15,583 --> 00:54:17,166 and I ask you to be as honest as possible 915 00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,750 in front of Romanians that you're looking at right this second! 916 00:54:20,458 --> 00:54:24,666 Is it true you were visiting Sorin Ovidiu Vântu? 917 00:54:24,750 --> 00:54:25,583 No. 918 00:54:27,333 --> 00:54:29,958 Last time it worked and frankly, I was betting a lot on it, 919 00:54:30,041 --> 00:54:31,333 great strategy not really… 920 00:54:33,291 --> 00:54:35,708 How is it possible for Romanians to vote a man 921 00:54:35,791 --> 00:54:38,625 who until recently was sweeping the staircase? 922 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:39,541 Hey, fuc… 923 00:54:41,083 --> 00:54:43,541 Mister… 924 00:54:47,916 --> 00:54:49,791 Siminel, you know 925 00:54:49,875 --> 00:54:53,041 how much chlorine to put in a bucket of water? He doesn't know. 926 00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:56,833 You know how to unclog a sink with vinegar and bicarbonate? He doesn't know. 927 00:54:57,875 --> 00:55:00,291 I didn't go to school abroad, 928 00:55:00,375 --> 00:55:04,125 I didn't go here either, I didn't go at all, but I know how to clean a building 929 00:55:04,208 --> 00:55:09,041 and I'm gonna scrub all of Romania until it shines, 930 00:55:09,125 --> 00:55:10,916 I'm gonna rub it good! 931 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,208 I have an announcement that will change Romania! 932 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,083 When I will be at Cotroceni, 933 00:55:16,166 --> 00:55:18,291 I will eradicate corruption in the administration! 934 00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:20,583 Zero tolerance for corruption! 935 00:55:27,250 --> 00:55:30,916 Zero tolerance for corruption! Under 500 euros. 936 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:39,250 Zero tolerance for corruption! Under 4,000 euros. 937 00:55:43,583 --> 00:55:44,750 I told you to ask… 938 00:55:45,750 --> 00:55:48,750 Within the limits set by your father, yes! 939 00:55:51,791 --> 00:55:55,333 So we announce the fight against bribery 940 00:55:55,416 --> 00:55:58,000 up to 4,000 euros per day per official 941 00:55:58,083 --> 00:56:00,875 except Wednesdays because it's Wednesday, right? 942 00:56:00,958 --> 00:56:04,083 And if you are Scorpio or if your name ends in "dish". 943 00:56:05,166 --> 00:56:08,500 Mr. Broken, you have the right of reply again. 944 00:56:10,916 --> 00:56:13,583 - Do you know what that is? - Toilet paper. 945 00:56:13,666 --> 00:56:15,500 It's a receipt for utilities. 946 00:56:15,583 --> 00:56:18,000 My father is a building manager for 20 years. 947 00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:20,208 So don't take me with ceilings. 948 00:56:20,291 --> 00:56:22,541 The ceilings are cracking. 949 00:56:22,625 --> 00:56:24,375 You get flooded by an ox, you get mold. 950 00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:25,791 So I say otherwise. 951 00:56:26,791 --> 00:56:29,291 No ceiling for corruption! 952 00:56:29,375 --> 00:56:31,166 - What? - It makes no sense. 953 00:56:31,791 --> 00:56:34,458 Bravo, yes, very clever! It's like legalizing it. 954 00:56:35,041 --> 00:56:37,708 Oh, yeah? Well, maybe that's what I wanna do! 955 00:56:37,791 --> 00:56:38,958 - What? - What does he say? 956 00:56:39,041 --> 00:56:43,000 When I become president, I'll legalize bribery! 957 00:56:43,083 --> 00:56:44,083 Fuck you! 958 00:56:44,166 --> 00:56:48,333 What? What do you mean, legalize bribery? What's that? What is this nonsense? 959 00:56:48,416 --> 00:56:49,750 Same for everyone! 960 00:56:49,833 --> 00:56:54,166 {\an8}Why pay a nurse from Botoșani 1,500 euros for a job, 961 00:56:54,250 --> 00:56:55,875 {\an8}and one in Sibiu 8,000 euros? 962 00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:58,541 Is that fair? No, sir! 963 00:56:58,625 --> 00:57:01,875 Let corruption be fair, state-controlled! 964 00:57:04,041 --> 00:57:05,750 Oh, and to pay VAT on a bribe! 965 00:57:05,833 --> 00:57:07,541 After all, what is VAT, 966 00:57:07,625 --> 00:57:10,583 if not a bribe paid to the state to leave you alone? 967 00:57:10,666 --> 00:57:11,666 Right, sideburns? 968 00:57:11,750 --> 00:57:14,041 Two hundred million euros. 969 00:57:14,125 --> 00:57:17,291 Nineteen percent of 200 million. 970 00:57:17,375 --> 00:57:19,041 Thirty-eight million euros. 971 00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,875 Hey, stop that! 972 00:57:20,958 --> 00:57:23,791 How to legalize corruption? Are you crazy? Really? 973 00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:28,833 We must fight corruption to support and protect Romanians. 974 00:57:28,916 --> 00:57:33,958 Yeah, and that's why I'm giving this money to all Romanians equally. 975 00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,333 How much is this, fancy pants? Do the math! 976 00:57:37,208 --> 00:57:38,041 It was hard. 977 00:57:38,125 --> 00:57:41,958 Square root of 100% negligible epsilon 978 00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:46,166 with X plus minus mode… 979 00:57:46,750 --> 00:57:48,083 - Two euros. - Two euros. 980 00:57:48,166 --> 00:57:49,750 Two? What the hell to do with two euros? 981 00:57:49,833 --> 00:57:53,083 Then I give another law when I become president. 982 00:57:53,791 --> 00:57:56,291 200,000 euro for each Romanian! 983 00:57:57,416 --> 00:57:59,125 Costică! Are you crazy? 984 00:58:00,083 --> 00:58:03,250 - Mister! - Mister! 985 00:58:03,875 --> 00:58:06,833 - Are you sure? - No, Costică, no! No! 986 00:58:06,916 --> 00:58:08,791 Absolutely. Look, I'm writing it down right now… 987 00:58:08,875 --> 00:58:10,208 He buries us all. 988 00:58:10,291 --> 00:58:14,000 I also draw a little horse going up a hill, okay… 989 00:58:14,083 --> 00:58:17,291 and tomorrow my party 990 00:58:17,375 --> 00:58:20,583 will vote it by urgent decree! Tomorrow! 991 00:58:20,666 --> 00:58:24,250 {\an8}Breaking news, the horse going up the hill. 992 00:58:24,333 --> 00:58:28,708 Mr. Broken, are you absolutely sure? 993 00:58:33,666 --> 00:58:36,750 - What, 200,000? - No way! 200,000? 994 00:58:36,833 --> 00:58:38,166 - You said 200. - Like this? 995 00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:39,958 - Put another zero! - Another zero. 996 00:58:41,750 --> 00:58:43,541 I swear on my family! 997 00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:47,583 Honest man, you don't mess with that. 998 00:58:47,666 --> 00:58:51,541 - He swore on his family! He's a Christian. - God help! 999 00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:54,416 Uncle Iulică, bring a more expensive beer. 1000 00:58:54,500 --> 00:58:56,583 - Cherries or raspberries? - Cherries. 1001 00:58:57,958 --> 00:59:00,416 - Listen… How much do I owe you? - Well, 4,000 lei. 1002 00:59:00,500 --> 00:59:02,208 Let's round it up to 10,000. 1003 00:59:04,250 --> 00:59:09,208 Now let's talk about the problems really important in this country. 1004 00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:13,041 One-way streets. We've had enough! 1005 00:59:14,291 --> 00:59:17,750 {\an8}The man claims he didn't have sex with the neighbor's goat, 1006 00:59:17,833 --> 00:59:19,958 {\an8}but that he stopped at foreplay. 1007 00:59:20,041 --> 00:59:21,625 {\an8}More and more Austrians 1008 00:59:21,708 --> 00:59:25,875 {\an8}apply for asylum in Romania in search of a better life. 1009 00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:27,833 Bucharest, Cluj and Timisoara 1010 00:59:27,916 --> 00:59:31,625 are filled with thousands of Austrians who want Romanian citizenship. 1011 00:59:31,708 --> 00:59:35,791 {\an8}Some of them have to sleep on the streets in luxury tents. 1012 00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:37,458 {\an8}Sad but true. 1013 00:59:37,541 --> 00:59:41,625 {\an8}Luxury refugees dream of those 200,000 euros promised by Broken. 1014 00:59:41,708 --> 00:59:45,875 The bad part is that my friend here 1015 00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:47,750 has difficulty charging his car, 1016 00:59:47,833 --> 00:59:51,166 especially because we use it to fry sausages. 1017 00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:55,416 But hey, we're glad to wake up with the stray dogs. 1018 00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:57,125 {\an8}Used to recycle, 1019 00:59:57,208 --> 01:00:00,750 {\an8}these former lawyers and successful programmers from Vienna 1020 01:00:00,833 --> 01:00:03,208 {\an8}are collecting bottles and cans, 1021 01:00:03,291 --> 01:00:07,208 {\an8}taking heroin from the local homeless who had enough of them. 1022 01:00:07,291 --> 01:00:10,166 {\an8}They all hope in Costică Broken's victory. 1023 01:00:10,250 --> 01:00:11,958 Oh my God! 1024 01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,291 Good! Come on. 1025 01:00:19,375 --> 01:00:21,500 - This is it. - This is it, okay? 1026 01:00:21,583 --> 01:00:26,041 I'm finally gonna look like a Romanian of Romanians… 1027 01:00:26,125 --> 01:00:28,458 I can't. I really can't. I'm embarrassed, ashamed! 1028 01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:29,875 - Please! - I'm sick! 1029 01:00:29,958 --> 01:00:31,625 - Please! - OK. 1030 01:00:31,708 --> 01:00:32,833 You're a smart boy. 1031 01:00:32,916 --> 01:00:35,291 - Say, where do I press? - Don't push, pull! 1032 01:00:35,375 --> 01:00:39,166 - Great! - I knew it, it's mechanical, it's… 1033 01:00:39,250 --> 01:00:40,875 Great. There we go. 1034 01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:48,333 - It's time to go in a normal campaign. - Go! 1035 01:00:49,500 --> 01:00:50,625 Easy. 1036 01:00:50,708 --> 01:00:52,500 Let's celebrate with champagne from the fridge. 1037 01:00:52,583 --> 01:00:53,416 No refrigerator. 1038 01:00:54,541 --> 01:00:56,083 - Not even one? - No. 1039 01:00:56,750 --> 01:00:57,958 Okay… it's okay… 1040 01:00:58,583 --> 01:01:01,458 This smell is coming from the car, is it…? 1041 01:01:03,583 --> 01:01:04,416 It stinks. 1042 01:01:04,500 --> 01:01:08,041 The stable-keeper was walking me in a car like that when I was a kid. 1043 01:01:08,125 --> 01:01:09,500 That was me! 1044 01:01:13,541 --> 01:01:15,875 What do you want, man? Get outta here! 1045 01:01:15,958 --> 01:01:19,208 - Give him money to get out of here! - Take this and go! 1046 01:01:19,291 --> 01:01:20,625 No trouble, no fuss! 1047 01:01:20,708 --> 01:01:24,250 - Look, man! Leave me alone! - I want money! 100! 1048 01:01:24,333 --> 01:01:26,958 I told you not to give them money! More are gathering! 1049 01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:29,291 - Go away! - Get out of here! 1050 01:01:29,375 --> 01:01:31,291 Damn you, civilized homeless! 1051 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:34,041 I can't believe it! 1052 01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:38,875 Now I do Pilates in the park! Hey, the kids are passing this way! 1053 01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,958 - Hydrate them! - You bastards! 1054 01:01:47,083 --> 01:01:49,750 Hey, dad! Yeah… Listen… 1055 01:01:49,833 --> 01:01:52,791 Don't you want to make peace-peace between two beasts? 1056 01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:53,708 Yes. 1057 01:01:54,375 --> 01:01:56,500 I understand, but I don't know, you take the first step. 1058 01:01:56,583 --> 01:01:59,541 Give a like to his stories, promise him a county, something, I don't know! 1059 01:01:59,625 --> 01:02:04,833 Dad, I don't want to sound too desperate, but I'm in a Dacia. 1060 01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:07,041 Yeah, manual, yeah, I know. 1061 01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:10,916 But we can't give 200,000 euros to every Romanian! 1062 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:12,166 The country will go bankrupt! 1063 01:02:12,250 --> 01:02:14,666 We give them nothing! We're not stupid! 1064 01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:18,375 You take the law of Costică 1065 01:02:18,458 --> 01:02:21,416 and you stick it at the bottom of the pile of laws! 1066 01:02:21,500 --> 01:02:24,208 No senator's gonna vote, what, are we crazy? 1067 01:02:24,291 --> 01:02:27,125 They would kick us out of the EU, the IMF and everything! 1068 01:02:27,791 --> 01:02:31,125 Nobody is kicking us out from women, dad! 1069 01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,000 Sex! 1070 01:02:35,541 --> 01:02:36,375 Say it! 1071 01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:42,875 Have you called… I didn't know why are streaks of lard through the building! 1072 01:02:42,958 --> 01:02:44,708 Have you come around, assholes? 1073 01:02:45,416 --> 01:02:48,458 If you think that Călin Yellowish, the supreme god, 1074 01:02:48,541 --> 01:02:51,666 will take pity on you two to welcome you into the party so easily, 1075 01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:53,375 take my… open… 1076 01:02:53,458 --> 01:02:54,291 - Cheese! - Yes. 1077 01:02:54,375 --> 01:02:55,208 Shut up. 1078 01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:01,041 - You have to do something for us. - Anything. 1079 01:03:02,458 --> 01:03:04,833 You started at the bottom. You've done it all. 1080 01:03:04,916 --> 01:03:06,541 You stole from the poster money. 1081 01:03:06,625 --> 01:03:10,500 You stole on paper a whole school in Glina. 1082 01:03:10,583 --> 01:03:14,583 - Which, by the way… - Applause. Give it up for Cheese! 1083 01:03:14,666 --> 01:03:17,166 Thank you very much. Anything to be like the party's finest! 1084 01:03:17,250 --> 01:03:18,708 Speaking of which… 1085 01:03:21,125 --> 01:03:22,041 You were very good. 1086 01:03:23,250 --> 01:03:26,958 But now it's time to do something much more difficult. 1087 01:03:27,833 --> 01:03:30,791 - I want… - Stop! I know exactly. 1088 01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:33,083 I've waited a long time for this day, 1089 01:03:33,166 --> 01:03:35,500 I prepared and I decided a long time ago how I would do it. 1090 01:03:35,583 --> 01:03:38,500 I also talked to the wife at home, she totally agrees, politics is politics. 1091 01:03:39,666 --> 01:03:40,791 Hold this. 1092 01:03:42,500 --> 01:03:44,375 One, two, three, four, five… 1093 01:03:47,250 --> 01:03:48,833 Let me start in order of functions. 1094 01:03:50,666 --> 01:03:54,083 It's not about that, although we appreciate the openness. 1095 01:03:54,166 --> 01:03:55,708 You don't have to do what you thought. 1096 01:03:55,791 --> 01:03:59,208 No! Just to frame Costică for a scandal 1097 01:03:59,291 --> 01:04:00,458 to go to jail. 1098 01:04:00,541 --> 01:04:01,583 There are parties… 1099 01:04:01,666 --> 01:04:02,666 Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1100 01:04:02,750 --> 01:04:05,875 There are parties I want to invite you to, but after all this. 1101 01:04:06,666 --> 01:04:10,125 {\an8}SOMEWHERE UNDER THE PALACE OF THE PARLIAMENT 1102 01:04:21,708 --> 01:04:22,750 Oh! 1103 01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:27,333 Oh, my! 1104 01:04:28,208 --> 01:04:30,125 Man, so many bottles! 1105 01:04:30,208 --> 01:04:32,416 It's free, man, everything confiscated in customs, man! 1106 01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:35,625 - And what are you doing here? - We're playing Truth or Dare. 1107 01:04:35,708 --> 01:04:39,375 Say, how much did you steal? Two million? 1108 01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:44,375 - Give me dare directly, let… - You're bad, man! 1109 01:04:49,583 --> 01:04:51,208 Oh! 1110 01:04:52,166 --> 01:04:53,458 - Hey! - What? 1111 01:04:53,541 --> 01:04:56,083 - You gotta bite on this! - Do what? 1112 01:04:56,166 --> 01:04:58,000 - Bite on it. - But what's that? 1113 01:04:58,083 --> 01:04:59,833 Baloney! 1114 01:04:59,916 --> 01:05:01,875 Poor people eat that! 1115 01:05:01,958 --> 01:05:04,208 Like those who work in the private sector! 1116 01:05:06,125 --> 01:05:07,916 - Man! - Man! 1117 01:05:11,458 --> 01:05:12,458 Oh, man! 1118 01:05:13,666 --> 01:05:16,250 Give me Moet! 1119 01:05:16,333 --> 01:05:18,708 - Oh, gross! - Is this the good kind? 1120 01:05:19,375 --> 01:05:20,875 Are you playing? Come over here. 1121 01:05:20,958 --> 01:05:23,208 Come on, come here. Are you in? 1122 01:05:24,083 --> 01:05:25,000 - Are you in? - Yes! 1123 01:05:25,083 --> 01:05:26,125 Truth or dare? 1124 01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:29,000 Truth or dare? Go on! 1125 01:05:29,083 --> 01:05:29,916 The truth. 1126 01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,208 How many women have you had sex with in your life? 1127 01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:36,875 No, that… 1128 01:05:47,375 --> 01:05:48,375 Dare. 1129 01:05:49,666 --> 01:05:52,250 Here, pass that tray. Here… Watch this. 1130 01:05:52,333 --> 01:05:54,125 - Hold this tray in your hand… - And? 1131 01:05:54,208 --> 01:05:55,500 We pretend we are wasted. 1132 01:05:55,583 --> 01:05:58,958 Come on, man. Take that. Hold that. Hold this… take these… 1133 01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:02,375 No… 1134 01:06:02,458 --> 01:06:04,333 It's a prank! 1135 01:06:04,416 --> 01:06:07,333 - Prank! - Put that in your mouth! 1136 01:06:09,250 --> 01:06:11,958 - Come on, man, you got him? - Put this in, man! 1137 01:06:12,708 --> 01:06:14,541 Stop it! Oh, come on! 1138 01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:18,083 Hey! Don't mess with me! What? I see that you're mocking me! 1139 01:06:18,166 --> 01:06:20,625 I know what a prank is! And you know what? 1140 01:06:20,708 --> 01:06:22,000 To hell with drugs! 1141 01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:24,416 Couldn't you be alcoholics, like any normal person? 1142 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:28,833 - Crackheads! Here, it's confiscated! - Hey! Hello! 1143 01:06:28,916 --> 01:06:30,458 - Hello! - What? 1144 01:06:30,541 --> 01:06:31,875 They confiscated it again! 1145 01:06:31,958 --> 01:06:34,375 Do you want me to confiscate a punch in your face? 1146 01:06:35,833 --> 01:06:37,291 You're lucky there are more of you. 1147 01:06:38,375 --> 01:06:40,083 But it was confiscated again! 1148 01:06:40,708 --> 01:06:42,250 Let's mash that dry cheese. 1149 01:06:42,333 --> 01:06:43,166 THE MENU OF THE DAY 1150 01:06:43,250 --> 01:06:46,583 SUSHI - SPICY LOBSTER BEANS WITH MEAT - BORDEAUX WINE 1151 01:06:46,666 --> 01:06:49,875 To hell with your drugs! 1152 01:07:25,625 --> 01:07:28,125 - What's that? - Good Baloney! 1153 01:07:29,250 --> 01:07:30,333 Good Baloney? 1154 01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:33,625 I thought maybe you haven't eaten anything today 1155 01:07:33,708 --> 01:07:37,125 and you work hard and you deserve something nice. 1156 01:07:40,041 --> 01:07:42,291 Aren't you glad we're in first place? 1157 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,833 Well, we still have work to do until we get what we set out to do. 1158 01:07:47,541 --> 01:07:48,375 Meaning? 1159 01:07:50,833 --> 01:07:53,583 Sorry, I'm a little tired. 1160 01:08:00,541 --> 01:08:01,375 You know… 1161 01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:03,833 I grew up without a mom, too. 1162 01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:06,166 Sorry. 1163 01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:09,583 But come on, you made it! 1164 01:08:10,625 --> 01:08:13,833 A big house, fancy clothes… 1165 01:08:14,750 --> 01:08:17,791 Right! How much do you pay for utilities? Or are you paying flat fee? 1166 01:08:17,875 --> 01:08:20,125 - What's that? - So, no. 1167 01:08:23,375 --> 01:08:25,000 Dad had a saying. 1168 01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:31,666 All the problems in this life are solved if you just hold it in and drink. 1169 01:08:31,750 --> 01:08:34,083 Drinking is for people who are easily to manipu… 1170 01:08:36,666 --> 01:08:37,500 …late! 1171 01:08:40,041 --> 01:08:41,583 The belly! 1172 01:08:41,666 --> 01:08:42,500 The belly! 1173 01:08:43,708 --> 01:08:46,208 - The belly! - It's OK, I like you just the way you are. 1174 01:08:48,125 --> 01:08:49,166 Do you like what you see? 1175 01:08:50,166 --> 01:08:52,583 I've wanted you since the fourth time I saw you. 1176 01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:54,583 It's really happening! 1177 01:08:55,916 --> 01:08:57,208 It's not a prank, is it? 1178 01:09:08,833 --> 01:09:10,375 The train leaves the station. 1179 01:09:15,458 --> 01:09:17,291 Stir it some more! 1180 01:09:23,708 --> 01:09:25,041 What the hell, man? 1181 01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:30,958 - Hello! - Hello… 1182 01:09:31,041 --> 01:09:34,291 Two more plates of beans and meat, because it's so good. 1183 01:09:34,375 --> 01:09:37,708 - I can feel the meat! - I think it's from the beans. 1184 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:39,916 Come on, get some from there. 1185 01:09:41,500 --> 01:09:43,791 Come on, take some and out of my kitchen! 1186 01:09:44,750 --> 01:09:45,708 Let's vote! 1187 01:09:45,791 --> 01:09:47,583 - Let's vote on all the laws! - Come on! 1188 01:09:51,166 --> 01:09:52,583 {\an8}RAVE PARTY IN THE PARLIAMENT 1189 01:09:52,666 --> 01:09:55,208 {\an8}Shocking scenes in parliament! 1190 01:09:55,291 --> 01:09:57,291 {\an8}Just after lunch, 1191 01:09:57,375 --> 01:10:01,875 {\an8}elected representatives decided to vote on laws to techno music. 1192 01:10:02,583 --> 01:10:06,750 {\an8}The new law adopted today in Romania is a world first, 1193 01:10:06,833 --> 01:10:09,250 {\an8}the law of the horse that goes uphill, 1194 01:10:09,333 --> 01:10:13,333 {\an8}that every citizen will receive the sum of… 1195 01:10:15,125 --> 01:10:17,833 {\an8}200,000 euros. 1196 01:10:18,916 --> 01:10:20,333 {\an8}Victory! 1197 01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:23,250 {\an8}I hereby announce that I'm quitting 1198 01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:27,375 {\an8}and stick my dick in your shit eater TV station. Bye-bye! 1199 01:10:28,416 --> 01:10:30,833 {\an8}And yes, I'm fucking Adina from editing. 1200 01:10:31,458 --> 01:10:35,458 {\an8}It's okay for my wife Clara to find out… put camera two on me, camera one… 1201 01:10:35,541 --> 01:10:38,583 {\an8}- Miță! - She must know I'm getting a divorce! 1202 01:10:39,458 --> 01:10:40,958 {\an8}I piss on your TV! 1203 01:10:41,958 --> 01:10:44,000 {\an8}Waiting for money from Costică, 1204 01:10:44,083 --> 01:10:46,000 {\an8}dozens of Romanians are already queuing up. 1205 01:10:46,083 --> 01:10:48,208 {\an8}Where exactly, even they don't know. 1206 01:10:48,291 --> 01:10:51,166 {\an8}- Why are you waiting here? - Is he filming me? 1207 01:10:52,541 --> 01:10:57,083 {\an8}Preventively, I don't know if the money is given here at INAF, 1208 01:10:57,166 --> 01:11:00,000 {\an8}but I wait here and I formed a queue. 1209 01:11:00,083 --> 01:11:03,083 {\an8}With 200,000 euros, when I get it, 1210 01:11:03,916 --> 01:11:07,291 {\an8}I'll get a house in the countryside, like Dubai, 1211 01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:10,333 {\an8}I'll plant a date palm, I'll milk a camel… 1212 01:11:10,416 --> 01:11:12,041 {\an8}What will you do with 200,000 euros? 1213 01:11:12,125 --> 01:11:13,791 {\an8}I just came for the queue. 1214 01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:16,166 {\an8}- Just for the queue? - Just for the queue. 1215 01:11:16,250 --> 01:11:18,208 {\an8}A coffee on Victory Avenue 1216 01:11:18,291 --> 01:11:21,708 {\an8}ended up costing half a studio apartment in Cluj, 1217 01:11:21,791 --> 01:11:24,916 {\an8}that ended up costing as half a shawarma from Țăndărei. 1218 01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:26,000 {\an8}All this time, 1219 01:11:26,083 --> 01:11:29,208 {\an8}Bucharest residents park illegally to save five lei. 1220 01:11:31,666 --> 01:11:33,875 {\an8}Traditions are traditions. What do you want, bitch? 1221 01:11:33,958 --> 01:11:36,583 {\an8}What are you doing with a stroller on the pedestrian crossing? 1222 01:11:36,666 --> 01:11:38,916 {\an8}Take him out at night, can't you see how ugly he is? 1223 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:42,375 {\an8}Tezaur, the most powerful pawnshop network in the country, 1224 01:11:42,458 --> 01:11:46,125 {\an8}will buy back Romania's gold from Moscow. 1225 01:11:46,208 --> 01:11:49,208 {\an8}The first crates have started to arrive in the country this morning. 1226 01:11:49,291 --> 01:11:52,375 {\an8}Russia said it did not, under any circumstances, want to steal gold 1227 01:11:52,458 --> 01:11:55,833 {\an8}and swore it was going to give it back to us tomorrow. 1228 01:11:55,916 --> 01:11:59,375 {\an8}It really wanted to call Romania, but it had no time. 1229 01:11:59,458 --> 01:12:01,041 {\an8}Of course, even at the end, 1230 01:12:01,125 --> 01:12:03,958 {\an8}the Russians have forgotten some bracelets in the pockets. 1231 01:12:04,041 --> 01:12:07,208 Mayor of Cluj announces an armament program. 1232 01:12:07,291 --> 01:12:09,791 He will buy 400 tanks. 1233 01:12:09,875 --> 01:12:11,791 Rumor has it that in the spring 1234 01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:16,583 Cluj will attack Budapest on the grounds that "are you still smart?" 1235 01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:19,750 The tanks will, of course, be electric. 1236 01:12:25,166 --> 01:12:26,208 With your mom, Tudor! 1237 01:12:38,041 --> 01:12:40,458 Sixty-six degrees, we are not made of money. 1238 01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:44,166 Breaking news, ladies and gentlemen! 1239 01:12:44,250 --> 01:12:46,041 Sources say that Broken 1240 01:12:46,125 --> 01:12:50,291 is involved in a scandal of drug trafficking and drug use. 1241 01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:54,041 What's more, he would have alienated in the papers 1242 01:12:54,125 --> 01:12:56,375 many wind power plants 1243 01:12:56,458 --> 01:13:00,375 {\an8}and a little piece of the Salvation of the Nation Cathedral. 1244 01:13:00,458 --> 01:13:02,000 This is a total disappointment, 1245 01:13:02,083 --> 01:13:03,458 Costică seems like the kind of guy 1246 01:13:03,541 --> 01:13:06,291 that when he goes out from the bedroom turns the thermostat to 66. 1247 01:13:06,375 --> 01:13:10,500 {\an8}I'm shocked. Shocked! 1248 01:13:10,583 --> 01:13:17,125 {\an8}Who, who could have been so despicable to sign something like that? 1249 01:13:17,208 --> 01:13:21,000 More! He touched my pee! 1250 01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:24,958 You gave me to sign it. 1251 01:13:25,625 --> 01:13:27,250 You have to tell them it's a mistake. 1252 01:13:28,083 --> 01:13:29,375 Except… 1253 01:13:30,166 --> 01:13:31,000 It's not! 1254 01:13:32,208 --> 01:13:33,041 Meaning? 1255 01:13:33,916 --> 01:13:36,333 Yellowish never wanted you to win. 1256 01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:38,166 We didn't want you to win. 1257 01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:42,875 - So you took me for a fool? - Oh, Costică, it's more complicated. 1258 01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:46,416 Who wins these elections will be fined 40 billion by the EU. 1259 01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:47,958 It's a poisoned victory. 1260 01:13:48,041 --> 01:13:50,708 Nobody wants to bankrupt the country, not even you! 1261 01:13:51,833 --> 01:13:56,000 Well, and everything we did last night, all that madness, the little train… 1262 01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:58,000 You made me be a locomotive… 1263 01:13:58,083 --> 01:14:01,416 Good, I swear, you made me feel something here at… 1264 01:14:02,125 --> 01:14:03,583 I don't know what this is called… 1265 01:14:03,666 --> 01:14:06,750 You're a bully, a jerk, a drunk… 1266 01:14:06,833 --> 01:14:08,791 Yeah, now you're complimenting me! 1267 01:14:08,875 --> 01:14:11,250 No, I swear… you remind me of the sailor. 1268 01:14:11,333 --> 01:14:14,083 It's just he never attracted me like you do. 1269 01:14:14,166 --> 01:14:17,000 That was only supposed to be a precautionary measure in case… 1270 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:20,833 In case I'm not stupid! 1271 01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:25,291 And the streetcar doesn't run around here, I'll have to hitchhike. 1272 01:14:27,208 --> 01:14:30,375 It's an election year! Everybody's turning against everybody! 1273 01:14:32,250 --> 01:14:34,750 And the money? It's not even on the table! 1274 01:15:00,958 --> 01:15:01,916 I have to move out. 1275 01:15:02,666 --> 01:15:04,000 Ever since your promises, 1276 01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:07,125 everyone transforms their apartment in Airbnb for Austrians. 1277 01:15:07,875 --> 01:15:10,041 The first floor is already empty. 1278 01:15:11,916 --> 01:15:14,000 The building is dying. 1279 01:15:30,958 --> 01:15:34,666 {\an8}Ever since Costică's law, daddy quit drinking. 1280 01:15:34,750 --> 01:15:40,750 {\an8}Stop playing slots, play the stock market and screams all night "sell!" 1281 01:15:40,833 --> 01:15:42,750 {\an8}It was better when he was an alcoholic. 1282 01:15:50,041 --> 01:15:50,875 Morning. 1283 01:15:54,333 --> 01:15:55,583 - Morning. - Cheers. 1284 01:15:58,083 --> 01:15:59,833 Sorry for embarrassing you. 1285 01:16:00,833 --> 01:16:01,916 Hey, Tică, 1286 01:16:03,458 --> 01:16:05,708 I know you wouldn't be able to lie, 1287 01:16:07,333 --> 01:16:08,791 that's not how I raised you. 1288 01:16:11,250 --> 01:16:14,000 Your poor mother… if she would see you now… 1289 01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:22,583 Listen… 1290 01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:27,541 You never told me how my mother died in the Revolution. 1291 01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:31,166 She fell off the tank while shooting protesters. 1292 01:16:33,750 --> 01:16:36,041 - What did she do? Do what? - Yes! 1293 01:16:36,125 --> 01:16:38,583 It's horrible! Do you mean she was with the others? 1294 01:16:38,666 --> 01:16:41,041 She fought like crazy against change 1295 01:16:41,125 --> 01:16:44,750 and look, we still have democracy. 1296 01:16:46,083 --> 01:16:47,833 The party must win the elections. 1297 01:16:47,916 --> 01:16:51,750 Next year it'll have to pay a 40 billion euros fine to the EU. 1298 01:16:56,875 --> 01:16:57,708 I don't understand. 1299 01:16:59,375 --> 01:17:05,500 I mean, like a big working capital which the EU is confiscating. 1300 01:17:07,916 --> 01:17:10,666 Costică, you are the son of a building manager. 1301 01:17:11,250 --> 01:17:15,708 You can't let them to steal the country's working capital. 1302 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,708 All my life I said that change is not good, 1303 01:17:22,791 --> 01:17:25,125 that any change is for the worse, but… 1304 01:17:26,416 --> 01:17:31,750 maybe the time has come for some changes. 1305 01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:36,000 Last time I voted for you because… 1306 01:17:36,083 --> 01:17:40,041 But this time I'll vote for you because I trust you. 1307 01:17:40,125 --> 01:17:43,500 I know you were born 1308 01:17:43,583 --> 01:17:47,208 to get through anything to fuck your neighbor. 1309 01:17:47,291 --> 01:17:52,708 Costică, Romania is your parking space. 1310 01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:57,333 You have to become a real politician. 1311 01:17:57,416 --> 01:17:59,791 Go and lie to them! 1312 01:18:14,125 --> 01:18:17,666 The party disavows Mr. Broken's behavior 1313 01:18:17,750 --> 01:18:20,291 and his acts of corruption which we do not deny. 1314 01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:24,083 - Will you exclude him from the party? - Of course. We will analyze… 1315 01:18:24,166 --> 01:18:25,916 You're gonna analyze yo momma! 1316 01:18:26,583 --> 01:18:29,291 Find another candidate! I withdraw from the PLS! 1317 01:18:29,375 --> 01:18:31,000 Mr. Broken, a little respect! 1318 01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:33,875 That's what your mom said! 1319 01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:38,708 - You are embarrassing yourselves! - That's what your mom said! 1320 01:18:38,791 --> 01:18:41,416 How did you get in here in the first place? 1321 01:18:42,291 --> 01:18:45,166 That's what your mom said! 1322 01:18:49,791 --> 01:18:53,833 Costică Broken, independent candidate for the Romanian Presidency! 1323 01:18:53,916 --> 01:18:55,458 Keep your pants on! 1324 01:18:57,458 --> 01:18:59,583 That's what your mom said. 1325 01:19:00,166 --> 01:19:03,625 Simona Windy, campaign manager for Costică Broken. Nice to meet you. 1326 01:19:08,166 --> 01:19:09,875 {\an8}So you lied through about your belly. 1327 01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:13,666 {\an8}No, no, no… Costică just… bent the truth. 1328 01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:17,416 {\an8}How is it possible that in a country where people are starving 1329 01:19:17,500 --> 01:19:19,250 {\an8}some are showing fake bellies? 1330 01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:20,750 {\an8}Did you lie about your belly or not? 1331 01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:23,916 {\an8}- Yes or no! - I lied, sir! 1332 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,833 {\an8}But I didn't lie with my belly, 1333 01:19:26,875 --> 01:19:28,000 {\an8}I lied with my heart. 1334 01:19:29,208 --> 01:19:31,916 {\an8}What politician have you seen to admit he lied? 1335 01:19:32,833 --> 01:19:34,625 {\an8}They all steal from you and lie to you! 1336 01:19:34,708 --> 01:19:35,791 {\an8}I'm just lying to you! 1337 01:19:35,875 --> 01:19:37,500 {\an8}BROKEN - THE SCANDAL OF THE MOMENT 1338 01:19:37,583 --> 01:19:38,916 {\an8}Are you serious? 1339 01:19:40,125 --> 01:19:41,666 {\an8}I swear on my family! 1340 01:19:42,333 --> 01:19:46,500 {\an8}Mr. Costică, rivals accuse you of being stupid. 1341 01:19:46,583 --> 01:19:49,416 {\an8}WHAT ARE HIS CHANSES TO BECOME THE FIRST INDEPENDENT PRESIDENT? 1342 01:19:49,500 --> 01:19:50,708 {\an8}So what's the question? 1343 01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:55,166 {\an8}My lady, my son is stupid. 1344 01:19:56,041 --> 01:19:59,250 {\an8}But he is a well-meaning fool. 1345 01:19:59,333 --> 01:20:04,208 {\an8}He's the only man I would trust to collect money in my building. 1346 01:20:04,291 --> 01:20:06,291 {\an8}In my building? In the buildings all over the country! 1347 01:20:06,375 --> 01:20:08,000 {\an8}Look, I can see my shoes through the table! 1348 01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:10,250 {\an8}THE HORSE GOING UP THE HILL LAW PASSED 1349 01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:12,166 {\an8}Yeah, man! Me too! 1350 01:20:13,166 --> 01:20:18,250 {\an8}The whole country is watching Costică Broken which is now in the lead. 1351 01:20:18,333 --> 01:20:20,291 {\an8}Many are wondering how will succeed 1352 01:20:20,375 --> 01:20:24,666 {\an8}Siminel Redish and Călin Yellowish, who is now running again, 1353 01:20:24,750 --> 01:20:28,625 {\an8}convince voters that they deserve to be president. 1354 01:20:30,166 --> 01:20:31,208 {\an8}ANGRY TV - THE BIG DABATE 1355 01:20:36,083 --> 01:20:38,875 Your father's here. It's gonna be all right. 1356 01:20:40,250 --> 01:20:41,083 What are you doing? 1357 01:20:41,625 --> 01:20:43,083 Didn't you tell me to wear a suit? 1358 01:20:45,458 --> 01:20:47,375 - What? - Can I go to the bathroom? 1359 01:20:47,458 --> 01:20:48,625 Yeah, go on, go. 1360 01:20:52,291 --> 01:20:53,875 Are these seats free? 1361 01:21:10,833 --> 01:21:13,166 That's why nothing works in this country! 1362 01:21:13,250 --> 01:21:16,833 No, the country is doing fine. You're the problem. 1363 01:21:16,916 --> 01:21:19,000 Marian! Liviu! 1364 01:21:20,791 --> 01:21:22,375 What are you doing? 1365 01:21:23,666 --> 01:21:24,916 We are the Services. 1366 01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:26,833 Services of dic… 1367 01:21:29,833 --> 01:21:31,666 You need to stop this circus. 1368 01:21:31,750 --> 01:21:35,125 It's a 30-year-old order in this country. And you risk to ruin it. 1369 01:21:35,208 --> 01:21:37,791 Romanians are not ready to do well. 1370 01:21:37,875 --> 01:21:42,208 You can't give 200,000 euros overnight to 20 million people. 1371 01:21:42,291 --> 01:21:46,083 There simply aren't that many second-hand BMWs in Germany! 1372 01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:48,000 Romanians want to be hard. 1373 01:21:48,083 --> 01:21:50,125 They don't want to be happy, they get bored. 1374 01:21:50,208 --> 01:21:53,083 Logged into Instagram recently? Nobody posts anything anymore. 1375 01:21:53,166 --> 01:21:55,875 - You know what do people think! - What do people think? 1376 01:21:57,791 --> 01:21:59,291 No, but we know what they are saying. 1377 01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:02,541 We have surveillance cameras strategically placed in every corner. 1378 01:22:02,625 --> 01:22:03,458 Really? 1379 01:22:03,541 --> 01:22:05,583 Why do you think it's a flower shop at every corner? 1380 01:22:05,666 --> 01:22:09,083 - They all work for us. - Have a nice day, bye! 1381 01:22:10,375 --> 01:22:13,000 Black Banana? Here is Wet Carnation. 1382 01:22:13,083 --> 01:22:17,250 So aunty Bianca is with you? 1383 01:22:17,333 --> 01:22:20,375 Haven't you seen that every florist has Bluetooth in the ear? 1384 01:22:22,666 --> 01:22:23,958 Oh, man! 1385 01:22:24,041 --> 01:22:26,916 This is my room, this is a personal project. 1386 01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,958 We Romanians are used to be hard. 1387 01:22:29,041 --> 01:22:30,791 That makes us happy. 1388 01:22:30,875 --> 01:22:33,291 And now that it's good, everyone is sad. 1389 01:22:33,375 --> 01:22:35,875 People no longer have what to live for, you know? 1390 01:22:41,500 --> 01:22:47,166 Someone once told me that in life it's okay to compromise. 1391 01:22:49,625 --> 01:22:50,791 We're listening. 1392 01:22:51,458 --> 01:22:54,125 - Get it? - Never mind. 1393 01:23:00,666 --> 01:23:02,958 Mr. Yellowish! What do we do, sir? 1394 01:23:03,041 --> 01:23:04,750 Well, you retired, yes, 1395 01:23:04,833 --> 01:23:07,958 you said you'd let a younger one, a visionary, now running again? 1396 01:23:08,041 --> 01:23:09,666 It's… 1397 01:23:10,875 --> 01:23:15,291 rather a non-withdrawal in the interest of the country. 1398 01:23:15,375 --> 01:23:17,875 So, on the contrary. It's a… 1399 01:23:19,958 --> 01:23:22,375 - Re-introduction. - Bravo! 1400 01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:25,500 I didn't understand anything… 1401 01:23:26,625 --> 01:23:30,291 Mr. Broken, the first independent candidate 1402 01:23:30,375 --> 01:23:33,375 that has come so far, 80% in the polls, you have the floor! 1403 01:23:34,750 --> 01:23:36,625 Ah, floor it! I knew it! 1404 01:23:39,083 --> 01:23:41,583 Go on, tell them, Costică, say those hard words! 1405 01:23:41,666 --> 01:23:42,500 Say it nicely! 1406 01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:48,541 It's easy not to blame us. 1407 01:23:50,291 --> 01:23:52,333 I'm not very smart. 1408 01:23:53,666 --> 01:23:56,250 Even I know why things don't work in this country. 1409 01:23:57,291 --> 01:23:59,875 It's all our fault, the citizens' fault. 1410 01:23:59,958 --> 01:24:02,125 We all complain about politicians stealing from us, 1411 01:24:02,208 --> 01:24:05,958 {\an8}but we steal from the state more than it steals from us. 1412 01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:08,333 We are the ones who are ruining the country. 1413 01:24:09,916 --> 01:24:12,333 Romanians want the state to do it first. 1414 01:24:13,333 --> 01:24:15,541 Let the state build the highway first 1415 01:24:15,625 --> 01:24:18,083 and then I'll see if I follow the rules. 1416 01:24:19,333 --> 01:24:21,541 Let the state first make recycling conditions 1417 01:24:21,625 --> 01:24:23,791 and then I'll see if I recycle. 1418 01:24:24,541 --> 01:24:25,875 Romanians want free first 1419 01:24:25,958 --> 01:24:28,833 and then he will see if he holds up his end of the bargain. 1420 01:24:30,000 --> 01:24:31,458 That's why the state doesn't do. 1421 01:24:31,541 --> 01:24:34,833 Because the state is still a Romanian, still a hustler. 1422 01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:37,750 And it knows that if it takes the first step, 1423 01:24:37,833 --> 01:24:39,291 the citizen is going to stiff it! 1424 01:24:41,875 --> 01:24:43,750 - Really, boy? - Dude, you're an moron… 1425 01:24:43,833 --> 01:24:45,250 Shut up… 1426 01:24:45,333 --> 01:24:48,208 - You're such a bastard! - Leave it, man! 1427 01:24:48,291 --> 01:24:50,416 I'd rather work for this money! 1428 01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:52,666 - Incredible! - He almost convinced me! 1429 01:24:52,750 --> 01:24:57,250 And that's why I decided to retire from the presidential race. 1430 01:25:00,291 --> 01:25:04,041 Romanians need someone telling them what they don't want to hear! 1431 01:25:04,750 --> 01:25:07,125 Not some idiot who says everything's gonna work out. 1432 01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:08,791 Everything really will work out! 1433 01:25:09,791 --> 01:25:11,916 I've learned something from politics. 1434 01:25:13,083 --> 01:25:14,416 I learned how to retreat. 1435 01:25:15,708 --> 01:25:18,541 Time to get back to my building. 1436 01:25:19,875 --> 01:25:21,083 Go to vote. 1437 01:25:22,041 --> 01:25:27,541 Oh, and next year Romania will pay a 40 billion euros fine! 1438 01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:30,625 Fuck you! 1439 01:25:36,791 --> 01:25:37,625 Bravo! 1440 01:25:38,625 --> 01:25:42,708 - Dad? It's a bluff, right? It's a joke. - It's confirmed, Siminel. 1441 01:25:43,833 --> 01:25:44,750 Stand straight! 1442 01:25:47,250 --> 01:25:52,458 My opponent is the best person to run this country. 1443 01:25:52,541 --> 01:25:54,166 - Me? - Yes. 1444 01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:57,166 I fade in comparison with your honesty! 1445 01:25:57,250 --> 01:26:00,000 You are more honest than me. 1446 01:26:00,083 --> 01:26:01,916 - I bow before you. - No! 1447 01:26:02,583 --> 01:26:05,958 I bow before you and I kiss your hand! 1448 01:26:06,041 --> 01:26:08,375 You don't kiss any of my hands! Go to government, come on! 1449 01:26:08,458 --> 01:26:10,416 You go to government! 1450 01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:12,708 You are much fitter, browner, smarter… 1451 01:26:12,791 --> 01:26:17,166 - Us? My party is full of idiots! - That's right! Bravo! 1452 01:26:17,250 --> 01:26:19,708 I stole millions of euros. 1453 01:26:19,791 --> 01:26:21,000 - You stole! - Yes! 1454 01:26:21,083 --> 01:26:23,375 - But you did something! - It's not true! 1455 01:26:23,458 --> 01:26:26,250 Guys, these guys have made 400 meters of highway! 1456 01:26:26,333 --> 01:26:29,291 We, if we put some concrete, maximum, I mean… 1457 01:26:31,291 --> 01:26:32,125 Hit me! 1458 01:26:35,916 --> 01:26:38,333 I can't believe you want to force me to govern 1459 01:26:38,416 --> 01:26:39,791 so that I will get fucked! 1460 01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:46,416 We're gonna get fucked, together! 1461 01:26:48,916 --> 01:26:50,541 Liviu! Come here, you shmuck! 1462 01:26:51,958 --> 01:26:54,541 I have evidence! Evidence! 1463 01:26:54,625 --> 01:26:56,750 I leave it here, on the moderator's table, 1464 01:26:56,833 --> 01:27:02,041 a laptop with evidence that we stole of public money for the last 20 years! 1465 01:27:02,125 --> 01:27:03,458 I'll send you on Airdrop! 1466 01:27:04,708 --> 01:27:09,333 Embezzled funds, stolen money 20 million euros from Health! 1467 01:27:09,416 --> 01:27:14,875 Is that all? We steal in a year twice as much, I promise! 1468 01:27:16,083 --> 01:27:18,250 Who are you with? You're with the Russians! Admit it! 1469 01:27:18,333 --> 01:27:19,833 - I'm with the fucking Germans! - Yes! 1470 01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:22,166 - What about you? - Me? 1471 01:27:22,250 --> 01:27:23,666 - Yeah, you. - I'm with the Chinese! 1472 01:27:23,750 --> 01:27:26,333 - Are you serious? - I thought Siminel was with the Russians. 1473 01:27:26,416 --> 01:27:30,000 - Siminel! Are you with the Russians? - No, I'm with these twins. 1474 01:27:30,541 --> 01:27:32,416 - Get out, Siminel. - I thought so. 1475 01:27:34,083 --> 01:27:35,625 You're with the Russians! 1476 01:27:35,708 --> 01:27:39,000 Me? I'm with the Austrians, we just cut down the forests! 1477 01:27:39,083 --> 01:27:40,458 And is it working? 1478 01:27:40,541 --> 01:27:44,958 - Did you get furniture from I… Băneasa? - Yes, very good, thank you. 1479 01:27:48,708 --> 01:27:52,750 And who the hell's with the Russians? 1480 01:27:53,458 --> 01:27:57,250 - Are you with the Russians? - Who's with the Russians? You are! 1481 01:27:57,333 --> 01:27:59,541 You're with the Russians! Get off! 1482 01:28:02,750 --> 01:28:03,583 Tică… 1483 01:28:05,166 --> 01:28:06,000 What, dad? 1484 01:28:06,791 --> 01:28:08,541 I've been waiting two weeks to say that. 1485 01:28:09,875 --> 01:28:14,416 Yo, son, a toilet clogged in the basement, so we need it fast! 1486 01:28:18,625 --> 01:28:21,166 Don't let someone else handle it, okay? 1487 01:28:21,250 --> 01:28:24,291 - I'll fix it! - I like that! Bravo! 1488 01:28:25,625 --> 01:28:27,583 - Hey! - What's wrong, man? 1489 01:28:29,291 --> 01:28:30,875 Let me tell you something. 1490 01:28:31,833 --> 01:28:33,250 I was going to say… 1491 01:28:33,333 --> 01:28:36,250 You seem very smart to me, you remind me of me, of course, 1492 01:28:36,333 --> 01:28:39,500 and I was thinking… I don't know, maybe you'd like to be friends? 1493 01:28:40,083 --> 01:28:41,333 What, do I have your money? 1494 01:28:41,416 --> 01:28:43,875 You don't need money, dad has all the money in the world! 1495 01:28:43,958 --> 01:28:46,208 We can fly helicopters, we can party… 1496 01:28:46,291 --> 01:28:50,250 I don't know about the partying, I've partied all my life, 1497 01:28:50,333 --> 01:28:53,791 I've been with many women, maybe too many women… 1498 01:28:53,875 --> 01:28:55,833 - How many? - Too much. 1499 01:28:56,458 --> 01:28:59,125 And I settled down in my house, I'm in a relationship now. 1500 01:29:00,041 --> 01:29:02,708 Well, I think I'll settle down. Maria! 1501 01:29:05,041 --> 01:29:07,041 Is she your girlfriend? Maybe we go on a double date. 1502 01:29:07,125 --> 01:29:09,333 Half my girlfriend. Ioana! 1503 01:29:11,208 --> 01:29:12,375 Maybe five of us can go out. 1504 01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:14,291 - Come on, Siminel… - Now… 1505 01:29:14,375 --> 01:29:15,666 - It closes… - At Nuba… 1506 01:29:16,416 --> 01:29:19,750 They read each other's minds, is very complicated and dubious. 1507 01:29:20,541 --> 01:29:25,208 Do they read other people's minds? Because if so, I apologize… 1508 01:29:25,291 --> 01:29:28,875 Anyway, it's way too early to keep me tied up, girls. 1509 01:29:28,958 --> 01:29:30,416 Follow me. One at a time. 1510 01:29:30,500 --> 01:29:31,958 - What sign are you? - Pisces. 1511 01:29:32,041 --> 01:29:33,125 - What about you? - Pisces. 1512 01:29:33,208 --> 01:29:34,750 Well, what the hell, what a coincidence! 1513 01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,291 Independent candidate Simona Windy 1514 01:29:36,375 --> 01:29:38,916 won the elections by the minimum number of votes 1515 01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:42,166 after all the other candidates have withdrawn from the race. 1516 01:29:42,250 --> 01:29:44,875 Windy announces a series of effective measures 1517 01:29:44,958 --> 01:29:49,041 to avoid a mega fine from the European Union. 1518 01:29:52,166 --> 01:29:53,583 Why are you honking, Lache? 1519 01:29:53,666 --> 01:29:56,875 Hey, retardate, move your car from my parking space! 1520 01:29:56,958 --> 01:29:58,250 Move that, man! 1521 01:29:59,750 --> 01:30:02,375 Hey, militia! Come here! Hurry up! 1522 01:30:02,458 --> 01:30:03,500 What happened? 1523 01:30:03,583 --> 01:30:05,583 This asshole's in my parking space. 1524 01:30:05,666 --> 01:30:08,833 - Where did you steal it from, shmuck? - From yo momma, man! 1525 01:30:08,916 --> 01:30:09,916 You are on the wrong way. 1526 01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:13,166 What wrong way, man, it's one-way street since last year! 1527 01:30:13,250 --> 01:30:17,000 No. It's changed, okay? Now it's one-way again, in reverse. 1528 01:30:17,083 --> 01:30:19,583 OK, fine, but it's my parking space! 1529 01:30:23,583 --> 01:30:27,125 - It seems that Mr. Tudor is right. - Oh, yeah? 1530 01:30:27,208 --> 01:30:29,291 Services! 1531 01:30:29,375 --> 01:30:30,291 What did you say? 1532 01:30:32,458 --> 01:30:33,291 Let's see. 1533 01:30:35,416 --> 01:30:36,250 What… 1534 01:30:38,166 --> 01:30:39,166 Yes, sir. 1535 01:30:40,708 --> 01:30:44,791 The new law says it's a parking space for people with disabilities 1536 01:30:44,875 --> 01:30:46,500 for each residential street. 1537 01:30:46,583 --> 01:30:48,625 What handicap does this parrot have, man? 1538 01:30:51,583 --> 01:30:56,291 - He suffers from oto-tubular dysfunction. - What? 1539 01:30:56,375 --> 01:30:58,000 I have tinnitus, are you deaf? 1540 01:30:58,083 --> 01:31:01,333 And that means I lose my parking space because his ear is ringing? 1541 01:31:02,041 --> 01:31:05,875 - That's what I was paid for. - Hey! Whoa! 1542 01:31:05,958 --> 01:31:08,666 We'll organize elections again for building president. 1543 01:31:08,750 --> 01:31:11,291 - I don't give a fuck, I'm the first lady! - Yeah? 1544 01:31:14,250 --> 01:31:15,458 Just like old times, man. 1545 01:31:15,541 --> 01:31:18,916 I'm so glad things are back to normal in this country! 1546 01:31:19,000 --> 01:31:20,541 Damn it! 1547 01:31:20,625 --> 01:31:22,208 Back to Austria. 1548 01:31:22,875 --> 01:31:27,000 That's it! Go home, you fucking washed-up blond bastards! 1549 01:31:28,375 --> 01:31:30,583 - Come on. - Come on, man! 1550 01:31:31,916 --> 01:31:34,833 Whoa! Not here, or you'll scratch my car. 1551 01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:38,333 {\an8}Romania is not liberal-social, nor social-liberal. 1552 01:31:38,416 --> 01:31:40,750 {\an8}Romania is just Romania. 1553 01:31:40,833 --> 01:31:44,000 {\an8}Until now I thought Romanians can't stand to hear the truth. 1554 01:31:44,083 --> 01:31:45,875 {\an8}My duty is to make it heard. 1555 01:31:45,958 --> 01:31:48,125 And our duty is to listen. 1556 01:31:48,208 --> 01:31:49,333 Thank you. 1557 01:31:52,583 --> 01:31:54,291 It's hard to be a politician. 1558 01:31:55,541 --> 01:31:59,208 Yes, all Romanian presidents were either drunks or Iliescu. 1559 01:31:59,958 --> 01:32:01,375 You should be mayor. 1560 01:32:02,916 --> 01:32:05,291 The new Prime Minister is next. 1561 01:32:05,375 --> 01:32:07,583 {\an8}MARIAN BROKEN - PRIME MINISTER OF ROMANIA 1562 01:32:09,875 --> 01:32:10,750 {\an8}Hello! 1563 01:32:13,041 --> 01:32:14,416 {\an8}As Prime Minister, 1564 01:32:15,375 --> 01:32:16,750 {\an8}I want to assure you 1565 01:32:16,833 --> 01:32:21,208 {\an8}that Romania will have peace, daily between 12 and 5 pm 1566 01:32:21,291 --> 01:32:23,833 {\an8}hot water every evening for two hours. 1567 01:32:24,375 --> 01:32:28,875 {\an8}Because Romania is a big building where we are all neighbors! 1568 01:32:30,500 --> 01:32:34,250 {\an8}I sat and thought and took advice, 1569 01:32:34,333 --> 01:32:35,500 {\an8}I have formed the cabinet 1570 01:32:35,583 --> 01:32:39,500 {\an8}from the most hardworking and more honest people in Romania! 1571 01:32:43,208 --> 01:32:47,541 {\an8}Hi, I'm Ataș Kumar, minister of economy. 1572 01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:53,666 {\an8}Hello. Where is this address, Victory no 1? 1573 01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:59,208 Hello, Gherasim Lucian, Minister of Youth and Sport, 1574 01:32:59,291 --> 01:33:01,291 I promise to revolutionize playing ball! 1575 01:33:02,083 --> 01:33:03,958 First solution for paying the fine, 1576 01:33:04,041 --> 01:33:07,583 replacing the government with dynamic rate delivery men! 1577 01:33:07,666 --> 01:33:10,375 Other measures: sale of the county of Sălaj. 1578 01:33:11,083 --> 01:33:12,250 Right!