1 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,194 [Paul] I came to New York with a travel toothbrush. 2 00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:18,638 It's one of those cheap ones with a little plastic cap on top. 3 00:00:19,171 --> 00:00:22,979 Back then, I would, uh, couch surf, mostly with hookups, 4 00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:27,956 sometimes with older women who enjoyed watching me bathe their dogs. 5 00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:30,060 Got scratched up real bad back then. 6 00:00:31,295 --> 00:00:33,634 But a few months ago, I found myself here in Queens. 7 00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:37,241 And I, uh, found a place to call home. 8 00:00:38,142 --> 00:00:42,051 And I found a bed with Transformers sheets that I share with another adult man. 9 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,858 You know, just last week, I finally got a new toothbrush. 10 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:49,900 It's electric. Came with a little stand. Plugs into the wall. It's real nice. 11 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,335 Reaches all the way back. 12 00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:56,312 But I still keep this one, 13 00:00:57,548 --> 00:00:59,753 just to remind myself of a time 14 00:01:00,453 --> 00:01:01,757 when I was a stranger here. 15 00:01:02,558 --> 00:01:07,368 So that's why I'm running for president of the homeowners association. 16 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:11,576 To make us all feel just a little less like strangers. 17 00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:16,185 To make us all feel a little more at home. 18 00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:18,223 -Thank you. -Whoo! 19 00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:20,460 -We love you! -Yeah! 20 00:01:21,763 --> 00:01:23,400 [Billie] We love you! 21 00:01:23,466 --> 00:01:25,437 -I share a bed with that man. We spoon. -That's the guy. 22 00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:28,511 Mr. Baker, the question was about potholes. 23 00:01:28,811 --> 00:01:30,113 Yes. [clears throat] 24 00:01:30,313 --> 00:01:31,783 I'm against them. 25 00:01:32,484 --> 00:01:33,453 Whoo! 26 00:01:33,620 --> 00:01:35,223 Give Donna a cognition test! 27 00:01:35,390 --> 00:01:36,860 -[Anton shushes] -[Issa shushes] 28 00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:39,232 -[moderator] Ma'am. -We were all thinking it. 29 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:44,809 Next up, we have our incumbent, HOA president, Sandy Adler. 30 00:01:44,876 --> 00:01:48,450 -Thank you, Doreen. Thank you all. -[whoops] Go, Daddy! 31 00:01:48,617 --> 00:01:53,895 First of all, I just wanna say that I was very moved by the toothbrush thing. 32 00:01:54,161 --> 00:01:57,101 -Thank you. -I usually carry floss picks with me, 33 00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:01,910 but my daughter Nina told me not to pick a fight tonight. [chuckles] 34 00:02:01,977 --> 00:02:04,549 -[all laughing] -Sandy. 35 00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:06,152 And I you won't. And I won't. 36 00:02:06,219 --> 00:02:07,956 Fuck, he's really good. 37 00:02:08,189 --> 00:02:10,594 I know. 17 straight terms. Polls have him up by four points. 38 00:02:12,197 --> 00:02:14,235 -There are polls for this? Mmm. -Yeah, I made them. Yeah. Yeah. 39 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,206 Donna, you're up next. 40 00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:23,721 There's a squirrel in my house that brings me Turkish delights. 41 00:02:24,155 --> 00:02:25,659 [chuckles] 42 00:02:26,258 --> 00:02:27,762 -Cognition test! -Issa. 43 00:02:27,829 --> 00:02:30,400 [♪♪ "Bad Advice" playing] 44 00:02:31,937 --> 00:02:33,807 ♪♪ I need some bad advice ♪♪ 45 00:02:38,684 --> 00:02:40,589 ♪♪ Stay up tonight ♪♪ 46 00:02:41,389 --> 00:02:42,725 ♪♪ We'll make it out alive ♪♪ 47 00:02:44,929 --> 00:02:46,900 [Anton] I'm telling you, he doesn't even kill ants. 48 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,506 -Thank you so much again for helping me... -[Issa speaking Spanish] 49 00:02:52,144 --> 00:02:53,146 What? 50 00:02:53,312 --> 00:02:54,583 I thought you spoke Spanish. 51 00:02:54,682 --> 00:02:56,720 Yeah, I mean, he's genuinely kind, Sharon. 52 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,227 He's like Mr. Rogers, if Mr. Rogers had figured out his hair. 53 00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:02,197 -Aw, you mean that? -Go away. 54 00:03:02,330 --> 00:03:03,801 You can't hear me say nice things. 55 00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:06,005 -Okay. Guys? -[Issa, Anton] Ooh. Can you hold? 56 00:03:06,205 --> 00:03:08,109 Okay, take a look at this map. There are 83 votes up for grabs today, 57 00:03:08,176 --> 00:03:10,782 and we're taking a shot at every single goddamn one. 58 00:03:10,848 --> 00:03:12,985 -This is a two-man race now. -[Anton] Ugh, poor Donna. 59 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:13,019 -This is a two-man race now. -[Anton] Ugh, poor Donna. -She drove straight through that Carvel. -[Billie] Oh, no, she's fine. 60 00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:15,658 -She drove straight through that Carvel. -[Billie] Oh, no, she's fine. 61 00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,862 -Uh, where's Samir? -Mentally or physically? 62 00:03:17,995 --> 00:03:20,734 -Mentally, in deep denial. -Hmm. 63 00:03:20,835 --> 00:03:22,438 -Physically, in his bedroom. -[Anton] Mm-hmm. 64 00:03:22,572 --> 00:03:24,042 -Sharon, I'm back. -[Issa] Oh. 65 00:03:24,308 --> 00:03:25,678 [in Spanish accent] Lisa? [normal] Oh, sorry. Lisa? 66 00:03:25,845 --> 00:03:27,380 [Carly] Samy, I'm just worried. 67 00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:29,819 Carly, baby, I promise you it's gonna be fine. 68 00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:32,959 Look, we can FaceTime. We can Zoom. 69 00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:32,992 Look, we can FaceTime. We can Zoom. All distance is the same now. 70 00:03:32,992 --> 00:03:34,996 All distance is the same now. 71 00:03:35,063 --> 00:03:38,402 Ugh. How did I match to Seattle? It was so deep on my rank list. 72 00:03:38,504 --> 00:03:40,207 Let's not do that. Let's think positive. 73 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,746 Dental residency is insanely competitive. 74 00:03:42,845 --> 00:03:45,417 Plus, Seattle is an amazing city, right? 75 00:03:45,551 --> 00:03:48,122 Good seafood. Great-Great needles. 76 00:03:48,289 --> 00:03:51,495 It's so frustrating. I had my entire life planned out in New York, 77 00:03:51,563 --> 00:03:53,099 and now I don't know what I'm gonna... 78 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,803 [sighs] Carly. Oh. 79 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,540 Baby, you're cutting out. 80 00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,878 It said my connection was unstable. 81 00:03:58,911 --> 00:04:01,449 Aw! That's why we practice, though, right? That's why we practice. 82 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:04,288 Samir, how are we supposed to make it through a full year of this? 83 00:04:04,488 --> 00:04:06,359 Hey, do I look worried? 84 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,095 We got this, okay? 85 00:04:08,396 --> 00:04:10,367 Also, look, I added Seattle to my weather app. 86 00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,304 That way when it rains for you, it rains for me. 87 00:04:12,805 --> 00:04:14,308 Baby, that's Seattle, Texas. 88 00:04:14,743 --> 00:04:16,145 There's a Seattle, Texas? 89 00:04:16,278 --> 00:04:18,049 Are you sure you didn't match there? 90 00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:21,289 And that's what I thought. Yep. 91 00:04:21,422 --> 00:04:22,959 Okay, we can expect your vote? Oh! 92 00:04:23,026 --> 00:04:25,698 -Janice, you're an angel! -Okay, guys, how's it going? 93 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,668 -Paul Baker? -Yeah. 94 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,572 Patty from Elm Street is being such an asshole about drainage. 95 00:04:29,772 --> 00:04:31,075 -I can't. -Fair. 96 00:04:31,142 --> 00:04:33,212 -Okay, let me handle. Yeah. -[Julia] Take her. 97 00:04:33,412 --> 00:04:34,649 Hey, Jules, thank you again for helping out. I really appreciate it. 98 00:04:34,949 --> 00:04:36,152 I'm just so proud of you 99 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,189 -for getting involved. -Mmm. 100 00:04:38,256 --> 00:04:41,295 Do you know I once organized an entire front row at a Marc Jacobs show? 101 00:04:41,428 --> 00:04:42,899 -Oh, really? For what cause? -Mm-hmm. 102 00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:45,170 -Just to get dinner after. -Oh. 103 00:04:45,237 --> 00:04:46,673 -[♪♪ instrumental music plays] -Guys, the coverage is starting. 104 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,442 -Oh. -Carly. Samir. 105 00:04:48,677 --> 00:04:50,815 -[Issa] Oh, my God. Okay. [vocalizes] -[Samir] Coming! 106 00:04:50,981 --> 00:04:53,754 Hello, everyone who lives east of Forest Avenue and west of Franklin Road. 107 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:56,426 I'm Katie Yeoh, senior at Garfield High School 108 00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:58,229 and president of the journalism club. 109 00:04:58,462 --> 00:05:00,266 -I founded that club. Do you know that? -[all] Yes. 110 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,806 -Shh. -I'm covering the HOA election today 111 00:05:02,872 --> 00:05:04,877 because that is the assignment Mr. De la Croix gave me. 112 00:05:04,943 --> 00:05:06,913 Okay. Well, that's a good beat, Katie. Be grateful. 113 00:05:06,980 --> 00:05:08,784 [Katie] ...excitement in the air, we're hoping for... 114 00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:10,521 You guys good? 115 00:05:10,721 --> 00:05:13,861 -And I'll be here to cover it all... -Hmm? Yes. We are great. 116 00:05:14,228 --> 00:05:15,798 -Yeah. -Great. 117 00:05:16,298 --> 00:05:18,704 [Katie] Polls have been open for just under an hour, and so far, 118 00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:22,511 incumbent Sandy Adler has eight marbles to Paul Baker's six. 119 00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:24,014 -[Paul chuckles] -Okay, okay. 120 00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,584 Oh, my God! Okay! 121 00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:27,822 -[Anton] Yes, yes, yes! -We're in this thing, people. 122 00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:29,793 Okay, uh, let's keep the phone lines hot. 123 00:05:29,859 --> 00:05:31,563 -[Anton] Yes, yes, yes. Okay. -[knocks on door] 124 00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,399 [Billie] I'll get that. Okay. 125 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,404 -Hi. -[Billie] Wow. 126 00:05:35,638 --> 00:05:37,241 -Hi. -Hi. 127 00:05:37,308 --> 00:05:39,245 -[stammers] Come in. -Oh. Thank you. 128 00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:40,882 -Thank you. -Paul Baker. [chuckles] 129 00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,686 -Oh, Sandy, what are you doing here? -[Sandy] Hey. 130 00:05:42,752 --> 00:05:44,455 -Oh, we just stopped by to wish you luck. -Aw. 131 00:05:44,622 --> 00:05:45,992 You're a good kid, you know? 132 00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:47,962 -Class all the way with this guy, huh? -Yeah. 133 00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:50,467 Truly, I-I walk in the... in the footsteps of giants. 134 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,904 -[Nina] Mm-hmm. -Hey, real quick, 135 00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:53,674 is there a restroom I could use? 136 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,912 You get to be my age, it's, like, every five minutes. 137 00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:58,082 -Yeah. Okay. -[Sandy] Doctor says 138 00:05:58,082 --> 00:05:58,083 -Yeah. Okay. -[Sandy] Doctor says it's not a prostate thing or anything, but, you know, then what is it? 139 00:05:58,083 --> 00:06:00,353 it's not a prostate thing or anything, but, you know, then what is it? 140 00:06:00,554 --> 00:06:01,856 That's what I wanna know. 141 00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:03,527 -Oh, I'm, uh, Billie Schaeffer... -Hi. 142 00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:04,629 ...by the way, Paul Baker's campaign manager. 143 00:06:04,796 --> 00:06:06,265 Nina Adler, Sandy's daughter. 144 00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:07,669 [chuckling] Your dad seems so sweet. 145 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,873 -Oh, I know. He's the best. -Aw. 146 00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:12,111 Yeah, he means the world to me, and... 147 00:06:12,812 --> 00:06:14,983 and, you know, the HOA means the world to him. 148 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:18,658 Oh, my God, you're standing so close to me. [chuckles] 149 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:21,328 -Oh, yeah. I'm intimidating you. -What? 150 00:06:21,395 --> 00:06:23,667 Here's the thing about 70-year-old men, 151 00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:27,007 Billie Schaeffer, they're bored as fuck. 152 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,011 They're retired. 153 00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:31,115 Their wives want them out of the house, so they find a little hobby. 154 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,857 And for my dad, he found the HOA. Now, you probably don't get this, 155 00:06:34,922 --> 00:06:37,862 but when you stop working, you can get a little lost. 156 00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:39,264 I actually do understand that. 157 00:06:39,464 --> 00:06:42,204 The HOA is not for you. 158 00:06:42,404 --> 00:06:43,741 Do you understand? 159 00:06:44,075 --> 00:06:46,646 Do you all live here, huh? All five of you? 160 00:06:47,013 --> 00:06:48,751 Yes. 161 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,022 You know, three or more unrelated adults living under the same roof 162 00:06:51,088 --> 00:06:53,226 is what the city of Queens likes to call a zoning violation. 163 00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:58,570 It's just a little tidbit I picked up from the HOA. 164 00:06:59,171 --> 00:07:00,975 Okay. 165 00:07:01,175 --> 00:07:03,748 I mean, this is the time of your life when your friends are your family. 166 00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:05,316 Oh, my God, that's so cute. 167 00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:08,624 Like, you think you're the first people to be young and adorable in New York? 168 00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:10,895 Don't answer that. Not so. 169 00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:12,999 So guess what? 170 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:16,707 If your friend unseats my dad today, this little sex dungeon that you all reside in... 171 00:07:16,806 --> 00:07:19,044 -[toilet flushes] -...I'm gonna report it. 172 00:07:19,612 --> 00:07:21,482 And then I'm gonna blow it to pieces. 173 00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:24,121 -[Paul] When it comes to recycling... -You ready, Daddy? 174 00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:24,154 -[Paul] When it comes to recycling... -You ready, Daddy? -Yeah. Yeah, Nin, yeah. -Yeah? 175 00:07:24,154 --> 00:07:25,792 -Yeah. Yeah, Nin, yeah. -Yeah? 176 00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:28,263 -Did you get it all out? -[Sandy] Well, most of it. 177 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:31,136 -Okay, great. -Well, happy election day, gang. 178 00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:33,105 -[Nina] Happy election day. -[Paul chuckles] Good luck, guys. 179 00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:35,844 -May the best man win, you know? -Good luck. All right. 180 00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:37,882 -Bye. Okay. -[Sandy] Come on, Nin. 181 00:07:37,949 --> 00:07:39,218 Okay, bye, guys. 182 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,088 Take care. Drive safe. 183 00:07:41,823 --> 00:07:44,061 [whispers] He peed so much. 184 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,233 So many different directions. 185 00:07:48,837 --> 00:07:49,939 What? 186 00:07:54,983 --> 00:07:56,620 [Samir] It's not fair. This is our home. 187 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,422 It's fucking blackmail. 188 00:07:58,657 --> 00:08:00,928 No, it's politics. I mean, she's House of Cards'ing us. 189 00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:02,030 She touched you? 190 00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,133 -What? -What? 191 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,802 Okay, that's it, right? I-I-I'll just... 192 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,707 I will drop out, and everything will be fine. 193 00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:08,577 No, you can't drop out once voting started, 194 00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:10,447 and we're already 30 marbles deep. 195 00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:11,817 Fuck. Ugh, dude. 196 00:08:11,884 --> 00:08:13,654 Oh, this is all my fault, man. 197 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:17,094 [stutters] I was just trying to lay roots, but I guess instead 198 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,099 I'm like one of those roots that cracked the sidewalk. 199 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,736 So, I'm so sorry, guys. 200 00:08:21,803 --> 00:08:23,507 -You didn't know. Yeah. -No, no. 201 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,309 -Guys, new results are in. -Oh, my God. 202 00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:26,980 -[♪♪ instrumental music plays] -[Katie] Well, 203 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,717 we've got an exciting race update. 204 00:08:28,817 --> 00:08:30,420 Newcomer Paul Baker has taken the lead... 205 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,691 -No. -...with 21 marbles to Adler's 19. 206 00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:34,662 -[Samir] Oh, shit. -[Issa] Oh, my God, this is it. 207 00:08:34,829 --> 00:08:36,332 We're gonna have to move out. 208 00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:37,835 [Katie chattering on TV] 209 00:08:39,304 --> 00:08:40,407 No. 210 00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:41,810 -We're not. -What? 211 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:44,515 If there's one thing I know, it's how not to get a job. 212 00:08:45,183 --> 00:08:49,157 It's just a question of manpower and targeting. 213 00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:52,130 -This is Kerry, Iowa, 2004. -What is that? Is that a shooting? 214 00:08:52,163 --> 00:08:53,466 No. 215 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,236 -Right? -No. 216 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,040 Okay. No. 217 00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,078 Wait, I-I'm sorry, Bills. W-What are you saying? 218 00:08:59,177 --> 00:09:01,081 I'm saying we're gonna tank this campaign. 219 00:09:01,148 --> 00:09:03,019 -[gasps] -Samir and Carly, man the phones. 220 00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:05,290 Issa and Anton, we need boots on the ground at the library. 221 00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:08,964 Julia Fox, you are famous, and I don't feel comfortable bossing you around. 222 00:09:08,997 --> 00:09:10,367 That's fair. 223 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:11,904 Okay, people, this is no longer a campaign for Paul Baker. 224 00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:13,774 This is a campaign against him. 225 00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:17,180 We are going to lose this election and keep our house. Giddyap. 226 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:19,753 How do you feel about "giddyap"? 227 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,556 Not great. Let me run that back. 228 00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:22,992 -Okay. -Um... 229 00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:24,696 -Let's go! -There we go. 230 00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,933 -Yes! Let's lose this! -Yeah. 231 00:09:32,377 --> 00:09:35,116 This is crazy. I always thought we were gonna live in that house forever. 232 00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:37,622 And it'd be so cute, and I'd get sad, 233 00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:40,260 and then I would move out and try to spin off, and that wouldn't work, 234 00:09:40,326 --> 00:09:42,197 so I'd move back in, and it would get cute again. 235 00:09:42,264 --> 00:09:43,634 [footsteps approaching] 236 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:44,969 -David, David. David. -Oh. Oh. 237 00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:47,273 -Hi, David. I love this vest. -Hi. 238 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,211 Um, did you decide who you're voting for today? 239 00:09:49,277 --> 00:09:51,816 I did. Our phone call last week convinced me. 240 00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:55,190 Okay. Okay, David, David, I wonder if you've been convinced too quickly. 241 00:09:55,289 --> 00:09:56,960 -Yeah. -Right? You have a tendency to do that. 242 00:09:57,027 --> 00:09:58,597 -Ugh. -Remember the time-share? 243 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,300 -What? -David. 244 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,303 You said that Paul Baker was like home to you. [chuckles] 245 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:05,143 -What? -No, no, I don't... No. [chuckles] 246 00:10:05,276 --> 00:10:07,214 Yeah, you said you never recycle, 247 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,952 but you do it now to impress him, even when he's not there. 248 00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:11,723 You said that? 249 00:10:12,157 --> 00:10:13,828 -Hmm? I... -Oh, excuse me. 250 00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:16,700 -Hi. What are you doing? -Oh, shit. It's the librarian. Charm her. 251 00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:18,637 -Charm her. -You can't talk to the voters. 252 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,206 Oh. Um, hi. 253 00:10:20,273 --> 00:10:21,709 -Hi. -Are-Are-Are you the librarian here? 254 00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:23,479 -Yes. -Thank you for your service. 255 00:10:23,713 --> 00:10:26,118 [clicks tongue] Look at your name. Margaux, like Château. 256 00:10:26,218 --> 00:10:28,355 Or "Mar-gocks," like no name we've ever heard. 257 00:10:28,757 --> 00:10:32,297 Okay. Well, you guys seem great. 258 00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:33,600 -Oh, thank you. -Thank you. [chuckles] 259 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,203 But, um... 260 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:37,340 [Irish accent] You'll have to head out now, lassies. 261 00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:40,648 -[normal voice] Sorry? -What? 262 00:10:40,714 --> 00:10:42,217 Um, sorry, just Irish. 263 00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:47,661 I felt weird about asking you guys to leave, so I was doing Irish. 264 00:10:48,864 --> 00:10:50,968 [whispers] Oh, my God, she's a weird little guy. 265 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,374 [old-timey accent] Wow. So, do you work here then? 266 00:10:54,374 --> 00:10:54,375 [old-timey accent] Wow. So, do you work here then? Is this your here salt mine, where you're burning your midnight oil? 267 00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,479 Is this your here salt mine, where you're burning your midnight oil? 268 00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:58,850 -Me, if I was on a black-and-white photo. -[chuckles] 269 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:02,558 [Western accent] Well, you know, this here is my saloon, if you will and please. 270 00:11:02,825 --> 00:11:05,063 [Western accent] Well, then you better pour me a whiskey 271 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:07,735 and call me your mayor because I wanna get to know this place. 272 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,138 [chuckles] 273 00:11:09,204 --> 00:11:10,974 [whispers] Go. Voter intimidate. Go. 274 00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:12,979 [normal voice] David, David, Paul Baker had a gun to my head 275 00:11:13,145 --> 00:11:14,849 as I said those things, so... 276 00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,154 -What? -Yes. 277 00:11:17,522 --> 00:11:19,759 Things are heating up at the Bayside North Library, 278 00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:21,730 and we are covering it all. 279 00:11:21,896 --> 00:11:23,099 So you're doing long distance. 280 00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:24,635 -Yeah. -That's great. 281 00:11:24,835 --> 00:11:26,238 -Yeah. -Okay. 282 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,813 [sighs] Thank you, Julia Fox, 'cause some people were saying... 283 00:11:29,879 --> 00:11:31,950 Carly, Julia Fox said we're gonna be fine. 284 00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:33,319 Oh. She's on the phone. 285 00:11:33,386 --> 00:11:36,058 No, I mean you're gonna break up, but... 286 00:11:37,026 --> 00:11:39,131 -What? No. Why? -That's how long distance works. 287 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,536 You give it your all for the first three to four months, 288 00:11:41,603 --> 00:11:43,372 and eventually your relationship will dwindle down 289 00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,511 to sending each other Instagram memes. 290 00:11:45,711 --> 00:11:48,449 You know, and there's chatbots for that. So, what's the point? 291 00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:50,521 But that's not always how it goes, though, right? 292 00:11:50,587 --> 00:11:55,496 Well, I-I mean, not-not always. Like, Paris, London, that works. 293 00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:58,537 Even Paris, Lisbon kinda works. 294 00:11:58,737 --> 00:12:00,073 Paris, Barcelona... 295 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:02,812 Come on, I don't need to tell you. 296 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,653 -Bills, where have you been? -Yeah. No, no, I know, I know. 297 00:12:06,886 --> 00:12:08,790 I'm up, like, six marbles. I-It's a disaster. I'm gonna win. 298 00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:10,360 Hey, it's okay. I'm on it, okay? 299 00:12:10,426 --> 00:12:12,731 -I called in backup. [pants] -What backup? 300 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:17,273 Well, if you wanna lose this election, we need people who make you look unelectable. 301 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,646 -You didn't. -I did. 302 00:12:19,879 --> 00:12:21,616 -Billie. -Baker! 303 00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:23,319 Let's fuck shit up! 304 00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,189 -[all shouting] -[♪♪ upbeat music playing] 305 00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:28,295 [groans] 306 00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:35,209 Samir, I have to go. 307 00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:36,847 -No. Julia. -Yeah, I have to go. I'm sorry. 308 00:12:36,946 --> 00:12:38,850 -I'm really turned on by them. -Julia, no. 309 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,556 No, this is exactly my type. I know. I'm sick. I'm sick. I have to go. 310 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:42,892 -I'm sorry! -Julia! 311 00:12:43,025 --> 00:12:44,762 -I told you everything I know. -Jul... 312 00:12:45,029 --> 00:12:47,367 -Okay, bye, guys. We're gonna lose. -Bye, Jules. 313 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,970 [all clamoring] 314 00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:50,807 Okay. 315 00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:53,212 -Big bros! -Ow. 316 00:12:53,279 --> 00:12:57,855 I need you to drag my name through the mother-loving shitter! 317 00:12:57,922 --> 00:12:59,759 [all] Yeah! 318 00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:01,228 [all cheering, clamoring] 319 00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:04,234 You're gonna lose! 320 00:13:10,046 --> 00:13:11,449 [♪♪ music ends] 321 00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,285 [scratchy voice] And I won't have any of your friends. 322 00:13:13,352 --> 00:13:14,923 [scratchy voice] Well, if you won't wear my gloves... 323 00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:17,962 Joanne, between us, Paul Baker's a racist. 324 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,835 And he knew Ghislaine. Well. 325 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,840 This morning, you told me that Paul Baker found out you were allergic to almonds, 326 00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:27,514 and now he calls every restaurant ahead of time to make sure there's no almonds. 327 00:13:27,581 --> 00:13:29,284 That man has my marble. 328 00:13:30,353 --> 00:13:32,156 You said that to Side-bangs Joanne? 329 00:13:32,725 --> 00:13:36,967 Yeah, back when we were pro-Baker. Issa, I was pitching him. 330 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,402 -Pretty close race, huh? -Oh, God. 331 00:13:38,503 --> 00:13:40,206 Seeing a lot of marbles in your buddy's jar. 332 00:13:40,272 --> 00:13:42,511 -Yeah, we're working on it. -Okay, well, tick, tick. 333 00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:45,250 That's the sound of the seconds counting down on a clock. 334 00:13:45,383 --> 00:13:46,987 God, you are such an intense person. 335 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,557 Thank you so much. I strive for that. 336 00:13:48,623 --> 00:13:50,360 -What do you do for a living? -I'm a therapist. 337 00:13:50,426 --> 00:13:51,596 -Oh, my God. Wow. Do you have a card? -Yes. 338 00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:53,533 I don't take insurance, though. 339 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,805 That's totally fine. My parents are rich. Don't tell my friends. 340 00:13:56,038 --> 00:13:58,075 -Do you have guilt around that? -Yeah, it's really hard. 341 00:13:58,142 --> 00:13:59,846 -[Nina] Yeah. -It's just hard for no one to know. 342 00:14:00,079 --> 00:14:02,083 -I understand. Save it for the couch. -Of course. Thanks, Mom. 343 00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:04,020 -Oh, God, it's happening. -It's okay. 344 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,193 Don't fuck this up, or I will ruin you. 345 00:14:12,136 --> 00:14:14,274 Do you think she can separate work and personal? 346 00:14:14,676 --> 00:14:17,180 Yeah, I think she's probably really good at that. 347 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,331 -[Samir] Yes, thank you. -Thank you. Billie, one vote for Adler. And your name is? Wow! Your name's spelled like "boner." 348 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,737 I got Garcia for Adler, twice! 349 00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:31,676 Yo, PB! Can I tell this guy about the time you hooked up with OJ's parents? 350 00:14:31,976 --> 00:14:33,714 Today, and today only, Roach, yes, you may. 351 00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,084 Yes! -[OJ] Saved their marriage, by the way. 352 00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:40,092 Baby. Did you know that Seattle to New York 353 00:14:40,159 --> 00:14:42,330 is basically like London to Paris? 354 00:14:42,998 --> 00:14:44,668 Oh, um... 355 00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:44,669 Oh, um... I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow. 356 00:14:44,669 --> 00:14:47,574 I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow. 357 00:14:47,574 --> 00:14:47,608 I don't think it is. I think it's more like London to, like, Moscow. When you think about Europe... 358 00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:49,311 When you think about Europe... 359 00:14:49,678 --> 00:14:51,215 -Yeah. -[♪♪ instrumental music plays] 360 00:14:51,314 --> 00:14:53,352 New tally! New tally! There's a new tally! 361 00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:56,593 Jesus Christ, Katie. Find your mark. The camera's losing you. 362 00:14:56,692 --> 00:14:58,730 Well, it's officially neck-and-neck 363 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,934 as incumbent Sandy Adler has caught back up to Paul Baker. 364 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,272 -Forty-one to 41. -Okay, yes! 365 00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:04,876 Yes! 366 00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,846 I'm hearing from the old lady who sits near the marbles 367 00:15:07,079 --> 00:15:09,084 that the HOA has never seen turnout like this before. 368 00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,421 And with one marble left to drop, this one is a nail-biter. 369 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:14,228 Only one left. Okay, Billie, who is it? Who is it? 370 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,264 Uh... Eighty, ninety. It's Mr. Lee. 371 00:15:16,699 --> 00:15:18,302 Shit. No. 372 00:15:18,369 --> 00:15:20,975 I shoveled his driveway last week. I'm like a son to him. 373 00:15:21,074 --> 00:15:23,212 -We're fucked. I'm gonna win. -[Billie] Fuck. 374 00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:26,017 -Damn it. -[Paul] Fuck. 375 00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:28,857 No, okay, wait. Hey, guys. 376 00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:31,462 -It all comes down to this. -[Schnee] Yes, sir. Yep. 377 00:15:31,562 --> 00:15:34,067 As Mr. Lee goes, so goes the nation! 378 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,369 -[Brent] Yes! -Let's do it! 379 00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:37,107 -Yes! -[Paul] We're not giving up. 380 00:15:37,174 --> 00:15:39,244 -Yes! Let's do this shit! -Yeah. Yeah. 381 00:15:39,310 --> 00:15:40,714 And if I could just also... 382 00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:44,387 Sorry, desk chair... Um... 383 00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:49,799 Just wanted to let everyone know that no matter what happens, if we... 384 00:15:49,999 --> 00:15:54,542 if we get to stay or if we have to go, I won't be living here anymore. 385 00:15:54,975 --> 00:15:56,813 -[Paul] What? -Wait, what? 386 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,082 'Cause I'll be moving... 387 00:15:58,449 --> 00:16:00,252 I'll be moving to Seattle. 388 00:16:01,188 --> 00:16:02,825 -Whoa. -Whoa. 389 00:16:02,991 --> 00:16:04,528 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait. 390 00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:04,529 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait. Wait, Samy, what? 391 00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:06,064 Wait, Samy, what? 392 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,735 No, it's okay. You guys can stay if Paul Baker loses. 393 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,371 -It's fine. I've decided. -But we're not... 394 00:16:09,505 --> 00:16:11,743 I decided, baby. We're moving to Seattle. 395 00:16:12,511 --> 00:16:15,383 -[chuckling] -The Windy City. The Windy City. 396 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:16,886 I don't think that's Seattle. 397 00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,723 Windy City of brotherly love. 398 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,332 And so then, Mr. Lee, we all realized, 399 00:16:23,365 --> 00:16:26,672 whoops, Sandy Adler actually is the man for the job. 400 00:16:26,672 --> 00:16:26,706 whoops, Sandy Adler actually is the man for the job. So, Mr. Lee, what we're asking you is, please just vote for the other guy. 401 00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:31,616 So, Mr. Lee, what we're asking you is, please just vote for the other guy. 402 00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:33,653 Right, Bills? 403 00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:35,957 -Hmm? -[Paul] Right? 404 00:16:36,191 --> 00:16:37,394 Yes, yes. 405 00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:39,163 Change isn't always a good thing, Mr. Lee. 406 00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:41,335 Actually, sometimes you can have a really good thing going 407 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,573 and then change can just come along and just... 408 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,076 [splutters] 409 00:16:45,143 --> 00:16:46,980 -Billie? -Be really scary. 410 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:51,188 Be really scary and ultimately just unnecessary, in my opinion. 411 00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:53,693 Yeah. So, what do you say, Mr. Lee, huh? 412 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,162 How about it? 413 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,235 No. 414 00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:00,607 I'm sorry. No? 415 00:17:00,674 --> 00:17:03,112 Mr. Lee, I feel like if you just knew Sandy, then-- 416 00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:04,849 Oh, I know Sandy Adler. 417 00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:07,789 He was my friend for 32 years. 418 00:17:07,855 --> 00:17:08,991 -He was? -Mm-hmm. 419 00:17:09,157 --> 00:17:10,560 So, what... [clears throat] 420 00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:13,398 -What, uh... What happened? -We drifted apart. 421 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:16,506 Time took its toll, like it does on all friendship. It happens. 422 00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:20,113 Well, okay, but I'm sure you guys can get through this, right? 423 00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:22,316 -Hey, if any-- -And then he fucked my wife. 424 00:17:22,383 --> 00:17:23,519 Oh. 425 00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:25,523 A bunch. 426 00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:28,596 [Paul] We are gonna... 427 00:17:28,663 --> 00:17:31,569 -We're gonna leave. -Thank you so much for your time. 428 00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:35,310 -Samy? -Hey, no. 429 00:17:35,442 --> 00:17:37,515 No, you're not supposed to see me yet. 430 00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:39,685 -What? -Okay, fine. 431 00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:43,927 I found this Seattle SuperSonics jersey in my dad's drawer. 432 00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:47,300 He was a huge Kemp fan, but I had a whole thing planned. 433 00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,037 I don't want to spoil it. 434 00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,607 Um... 435 00:17:50,674 --> 00:17:54,014 Hey, so when were you planning on asking me about this? 436 00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,318 -What? -About moving. 437 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,921 What do you mean? This is perfect. 438 00:17:58,221 --> 00:18:00,192 Like, this way we don't have to go back and forth. 439 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,731 No, Samy, you can't just move. 440 00:18:02,798 --> 00:18:04,233 Your entire life is here. 441 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,507 Okay, so... so you'd rather do long-distance? 442 00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:09,678 No. 443 00:18:10,112 --> 00:18:12,183 Well, it's got to be one or the other. 444 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:15,155 Right? 445 00:18:16,424 --> 00:18:18,563 -[Carly breathing shakily] -[sighs] No. 446 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:22,571 [crying] I really love our relationship. 447 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:28,282 I just... I never want to get to a place where I don't. 448 00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:30,854 [stammers] What are you saying? 449 00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:33,059 [horns sounding] 450 00:18:33,126 --> 00:18:37,568 Presenting Seattle's newest power forward, Samir Rahman! 451 00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:40,874 -Guys, it's really not a good time. -[chanting] Samir! 452 00:18:40,941 --> 00:18:42,210 -What the hell? -Samir! 453 00:18:42,343 --> 00:18:44,013 This is the thing I had planned. 454 00:18:44,247 --> 00:18:46,719 -[♪♪ "Get Ready For This" playing] -[chanting continues] 455 00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:50,459 Dude! Go! Shoot! 456 00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,566 [all exclaiming, cheering] 457 00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:57,373 ♪♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪♪ 458 00:19:02,618 --> 00:19:04,287 Oh, my God. 459 00:19:15,543 --> 00:19:18,382 [Issa in funny voice] No more soup, Mommy! I'm too full! -[both laugh] -Okay, I am gonna text you. 460 00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:19,752 -Okay. -[laughing] 461 00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:24,728 Okay. What's going on? 462 00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:26,933 -Looks like you're having fun. -Yeah. 463 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:30,373 I mean, she's really cute, and I'm really funny, so... 464 00:19:30,774 --> 00:19:32,812 -[chuckling] -[phone chiming] 465 00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,414 Shit. 466 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,084 -[Issa] Mmm? -Billie says it's not going our way. 467 00:19:36,317 --> 00:19:37,654 [gasps] Yay. 468 00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:40,894 No, like he's gonna win, Iss. We're gonna have to move out. 469 00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:42,764 [gasps] No. 470 00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:44,233 [sighs] 471 00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,408 So then you have to tell Paul Baker. 472 00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:52,483 -What? -That... That you have feelings for him. 473 00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:54,689 I don't know what you're talking about. 474 00:19:54,822 --> 00:19:56,760 I knew you were attracted to him, 475 00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:59,999 but I didn't realize until today you have actual feelings for him. 476 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,869 -You do. Yes, you do. -No. 477 00:20:01,936 --> 00:20:04,474 Everything you said about recycling and almonds, 478 00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:08,281 like, you were physically incapable of talking shit about him, 479 00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,653 and you love talking shit. 480 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,693 [scoffs] That's just not true. I said he knew Ghislaine. 481 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,364 Okay, you know I don't know actors, Anton. 482 00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:18,803 -[chattering on TV] -[Billie] I've been thinking about it, 483 00:20:18,870 --> 00:20:21,676 and you kinda had the best-case scenario for a first relationship. 484 00:20:22,309 --> 00:20:25,149 -Really? -Yeah. I mean, no cheating, 485 00:20:25,382 --> 00:20:29,925 no major fuck-ups, and you split because of circumstances. 486 00:20:30,392 --> 00:20:32,964 Samy, you pitched a perfect game. 487 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,402 [clicks tongue] Whoo. 488 00:20:36,672 --> 00:20:37,808 I'm sorry. 489 00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:40,179 I'm gonna miss being someone's boyfriend. 490 00:20:40,914 --> 00:20:43,085 -[snort laughs] -Is that crazy? 491 00:20:43,152 --> 00:20:44,789 Honestly? A little. 492 00:20:44,856 --> 00:20:46,291 I was good at it. 493 00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:47,828 Yeah. 494 00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:53,305 It was really scary when I thought you were leaving. 495 00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:55,877 [TV audio warbles] 496 00:20:55,977 --> 00:20:57,782 Anton, it's me. You can tell me. I'm okay. 497 00:20:57,848 --> 00:20:59,718 -Issa, just drop it, okay? -No, I'm not dropping... 498 00:20:59,785 --> 00:21:01,388 It's gonna make you sick inside 499 00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:02,591 -if you don't say it out loud. -Can you stop? 500 00:21:02,657 --> 00:21:04,360 -Oh, my God. -Wait, is that... 501 00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:05,931 -Call them. Call them. Call them. -Yes. I am. I am. I am. 502 00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,500 Tell me. 503 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,104 -I'm not some stranger on the street. -Issa. 504 00:21:09,337 --> 00:21:11,041 -[Issa] Like, you... - She's not picking up. 505 00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:12,945 Admit it: You have feelings for Paul Baker. 506 00:21:13,012 --> 00:21:14,848 - [Anton] Issa... -Wait, what did she just say? 507 00:21:15,182 --> 00:21:17,186 - [line ringing] -Admit it. Come on. Just say it. 508 00:21:17,253 --> 00:21:20,026 -You really do. Oh, my God. -Issa, can you stop? 509 00:21:20,058 --> 00:21:21,663 Oh, my God. 510 00:21:21,729 --> 00:21:23,131 Who do you think you're talking to right now? 511 00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:24,735 -Can I stop? No. -Yes, you could stop. 512 00:21:24,802 --> 00:21:26,572 You can... Anton, you can tell me. 513 00:21:26,639 --> 00:21:28,475 -Issa. -I... It's so obvious. 514 00:21:28,609 --> 00:21:30,647 Say it. You have to say it. I can tell. 515 00:21:30,714 --> 00:21:32,651 [stammers] It's fucking embarrassing, Iss. 516 00:21:32,784 --> 00:21:35,089 What is embarrassing? Loving someone? 517 00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:37,293 -Yes. -I knew it! 518 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,565 [all gasp, exclaim] 519 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,536 Oh, shit. 520 00:21:41,602 --> 00:21:43,673 -Oh, my God. -Man, gay guys have my heart. 521 00:21:43,806 --> 00:21:46,879 I know it makes you uncomfortable, but you deserve his kindness. 522 00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:48,983 Oh, no. The sign-language lady's interpreting it. 523 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:54,160 And his tenderness and his big, beautiful cock. 524 00:21:54,227 --> 00:21:55,530 Don't sign that. 525 00:21:55,597 --> 00:21:57,768 Don't... You can't sign that. Don't... 526 00:21:58,435 --> 00:22:00,372 She's signing that. 527 00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:01,843 - [Anton] Issa, I can't. I couldn't. - [Issa] You do. Why? 528 00:22:01,976 --> 00:22:03,212 -He was your person. -[stammers] 529 00:22:03,279 --> 00:22:04,882 It doesn't matter. 530 00:22:05,683 --> 00:22:09,591 We are all gonna fuck people and fall in love 531 00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:12,163 and get our hearts broken a thousand times. 532 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:18,175 But our friendship is the most important thing in the world to me. 533 00:22:18,743 --> 00:22:22,551 And no one is ever gonna get in the way of that. 534 00:22:23,351 --> 00:22:26,424 Our friendship comes first. Always. 535 00:22:27,393 --> 00:22:28,696 Do you understand that? 536 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,567 [Anton chuckles] 537 00:22:31,234 --> 00:22:32,604 Of course. 538 00:22:33,606 --> 00:22:34,942 Of course. 539 00:22:35,008 --> 00:22:38,114 Great. Then go fuck his brains out, crazy girl. 540 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:40,253 [chuckles] 541 00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:42,290 -Go. -Okay, okay, okay. 542 00:22:42,489 --> 00:22:45,129 -[Issa] Oh, my God! -They're coming home. They're coming home. 543 00:22:45,196 --> 00:22:46,599 They're like two blocks away. 544 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,903 What do I do? What do I do, guys? 545 00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:50,874 -Bro, just do it. -Kiss him on the lips. 546 00:22:51,007 --> 00:22:53,145 Kiss him and tell me how it feels! 547 00:22:53,211 --> 00:22:55,984 Kiss him like a slut, then kiss him like a princess, then kiss him like both. 548 00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:57,286 [Anton, Issa laughing] 549 00:22:57,353 --> 00:22:59,290 -You're gonna tell him! -I'm really gonna tell him. 550 00:22:59,357 --> 00:23:01,261 -I love you! -I love you so much! 551 00:23:01,328 --> 00:23:02,797 -Issa, pothole! -[screams] 552 00:23:02,864 --> 00:23:04,735 I don't want to ruin another good thing, guys. 553 00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:07,006 I already ruined our house. [stammers] I blew up our home. 554 00:23:07,072 --> 00:23:09,310 No, no. Don't say that, okay? Just trust your gut. 555 00:23:09,511 --> 00:23:10,613 What does your gut say? 556 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,982 [Anton] I've never run this much. 557 00:23:12,049 --> 00:23:13,753 No, that's not true. 558 00:23:13,953 --> 00:23:15,891 I've done a boot-camp class once, but it was mostly for the smoothies. 559 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:18,194 -Oh, my God, their smoothies are so good. -So good. 560 00:23:18,194 --> 00:23:18,228 -Oh, my God, their smoothies are so good. -So good. I'm telling you, take it from me. 561 00:23:18,228 --> 00:23:19,699 I'm telling you, take it from me. 562 00:23:19,831 --> 00:23:21,435 Even if it all goes away, it's worth it. 563 00:23:21,702 --> 00:23:23,172 -I promise! -I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 564 00:23:23,438 --> 00:23:25,175 Okay, Paul Baker, forget what you're supposed to do. 565 00:23:25,242 --> 00:23:26,411 What is gonna make you happy? 566 00:23:26,478 --> 00:23:27,948 [door closes] 567 00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:30,520 [Anton pants] 568 00:23:31,522 --> 00:23:32,724 Hi. 569 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:33,693 Hey. 570 00:23:34,093 --> 00:23:36,732 -Holy shit. You lost. -[Billie] What? 571 00:23:36,799 --> 00:23:38,869 [Katie] After a down-to-the-wire marble count, 572 00:23:38,936 --> 00:23:43,445 Sandy Adler has been reelected for his 18th consecutive term on the HOA. 573 00:23:43,679 --> 00:23:45,048 [cheering] 574 00:23:49,157 --> 00:23:51,327 This has been an unprecedented election, 575 00:23:51,562 --> 00:23:54,367 and I think this footage is going to get me into Bowdoin. 576 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,171 [♪♪ "People" playing] 577 00:23:56,238 --> 00:23:58,042 ♪♪ People are wasteful They waste all the food ♪♪ 578 00:23:58,074 --> 00:24:00,981 ♪♪ People are hateful And people are rude ♪♪ 579 00:24:01,047 --> 00:24:04,286 ♪♪ But God I love some people sometimes ♪♪ 580 00:24:04,521 --> 00:24:07,460 ♪♪ Because people are The greatest thing to happen ♪♪ 581 00:24:07,727 --> 00:24:11,167 ♪♪ I said God I love some people sometimes ♪♪ 582 00:24:11,234 --> 00:24:14,373 ♪♪ Because people are The greatest thing to happen ♪♪ 583 00:24:14,908 --> 00:24:18,181 ♪♪ I said I have faith In my fellow man ♪♪ 584 00:24:18,214 --> 00:24:22,256 ♪♪ And I only hope That he has faith in me ♪♪ 585 00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:26,632 [♪♪ music ends] 586 00:24:26,865 --> 00:24:28,234 [laughs, shushes] My roommates are asleep, and if we wake them up, 587 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:30,072 they'll want to play "get to know you" games. 588 00:24:30,138 --> 00:24:31,441 -I'm actually really good at those. -Oh, really? 589 00:24:31,509 --> 00:24:32,878 Mm-hmm. Oh! 590 00:24:32,977 --> 00:24:35,248 -[mattress squeaking] -[grunting, panting] 591 00:24:35,248 --> 00:24:35,315 -[mattress squeaking] -[grunting, panting] -Not everyone's sleeping. -Um... 592 00:24:35,315 --> 00:24:37,787 -Not everyone's sleeping. -Um... 593 00:24:37,854 --> 00:24:40,793 -What? -No, nothing. Just, uh... 594 00:24:41,995 --> 00:24:44,200 -Two of my roommates are hooking up. -Oh. 595 00:24:44,768 --> 00:24:45,637 Yeah. [chuckles] 596 00:24:45,704 --> 00:24:48,108 And how do we feel about that? 597 00:24:50,178 --> 00:24:51,949 We're actually... 598 00:24:53,886 --> 00:24:55,155 really happy about it. 599 00:24:58,428 --> 00:24:59,731 [giggles] 600 00:25:10,554 --> 00:25:11,522 Are we good? 601 00:25:11,589 --> 00:25:13,325 [♪♪ "Besties" playing] 602 00:25:13,392 --> 00:25:15,563 Yeah, Bills. Yeah. 603 00:25:16,799 --> 00:25:17,967 Yeah, we're good. 604 00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:43,185 ♪♪ I wanna be Anywhere other than this ♪♪ 605 00:25:43,218 --> 00:25:48,061 ♪♪ I wanna see My best friend waving at me ♪♪ 606 00:25:48,194 --> 00:25:52,971 ♪♪ I wanna be living with you ♪♪ 607 00:25:53,038 --> 00:25:56,612 ♪♪ Seeing it through ♪♪ 608 00:25:58,081 --> 00:26:00,252 ♪♪ Do you wanna play? ♪♪ 609 00:26:00,987 --> 00:26:05,362 ♪♪ Forever How long can I play? ♪♪