♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
♪ (MUSIC BUILDING) ♪
♪ (LOW TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-What are you doing? -Changing.
-Changing for what? -Just changing.
(BAG RUSTLING)
Why have you brought wraps?
Look, if you're not gonna speak, Ruben, I'm not gonna stick around much longer.
You love me, don't you?
What?
You love me?
-Where is this going? -Just answer the question.
Well, of course I do. You're my, uh--
No.
No caveats. Stick with the emotion.
-Where do you feel it? -Hmm?
Your love for me.
Where do you feel it?
-Is it here? -(GRUNTS)
Listen, Ruben, I am not sure what this is all about.
Just answer the question.
I suppose love is most felt in the heart, right?
No, fuck that fucking mug response.
Answer as you.
I want to know where Niall Kennedy feels it.
-I feel it everywhere. -Everywhere?
Yeah, it sort of runs through me in a way.
-Describe it. -I can't! I can't describe it!
Yes, you fucking can!
Mr. fucking Poet Laureate, or whatever the fuck
it is you've won, your job is putting shit into words.
So come on. Spell it out for me.
Clearly.
In a way I can understand.
It's like...
-dangerous. -Oh, yeah?
It is the best
and the worst thing all at once.
It's like the only thing.
It's the only thing I've ever felt.
It's like I'm fucking...
high off of you or something.
Chemically dependent. I don't know.
Hmm.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
So how long did you wait?
-In terms of? -Before you swooped in.
Before you took what's mine.
I'm not speaking about this.
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
-(SNIFFS, SIGHS) -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
(SNIFFLES)
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -(QUIETLY) Fuck.
-(CLEARS THROAT) -(TOILET FLUSHING)
-DANIEL: You ready? -Yeah, sorry. Just coming.
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
(FAINT CHATTER)
DANIEL: Okay.
Who has the first question? Yes, madam.
Niall, your book has been heralded
as a modern masterpiece.
Can you speak to the room about how you managed
to paint such an accurate portrait of male violence?
A good novelist never reveals his sources.
REPORTER: Reveal your sources, then!
(REPORTERS LAUGHING)
Sorry, no can do...
compadre.
But the book is clearly based on your brother,
who's been involved in two high-profile
serious assault cases in this country,
the last of which almost cost Benjamin Thompson his life.
NIALL KENNEDY: No, my book had nothing to do with any of that.
My brother informed some of the research, yes,
but it's important to remember that this is a work of fiction.
It's not a biography.
It would have been very easy for me to write a biography.
Yes, but your book follows a violent
central character called Cosmo,
who, despite everything he does, is portrayed as a victim
of emotions he cannot control.
Were you trying to defend his actions in some way?
Not in the slightest.
Let's bring the microphone to the next person, please.
Ease up a bit, yeah? You’re stiff as fuck.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yep, go ahead.
Following on from the last question,
you appear to be a little defensive today in your answers.
But to me, your brother's conviction
was so in the public domain.
Surely you could see that parallels would be drawn.
Yes, but what about the dialogue?
The characters, the portrait of mental health?
I mean, those didn't come from him.
My apologies.
We're just interested in getting to know the man
-behind the story. -Well, that's me.
I'm the man behind the story.
-I understand that, but-- -NIALL: Look, I'm sorry,
but does anyone here have any questions about me?
(SCOFFS) Seriously?
Call yourselves journalists?
So for the remaining 20 minutes,
we will only be taking questions
which relate to the author and the writing process
behind this novel.
So does anyone have any questions...
on that?
RUBEN PALLISTER: (CHUCKLING) Oh, mate, mate.
This is hilarious.
Oh, man. (LAUGHS) Oh, mate.
Mate, what were you thinking?
Fucking hell. Hey, check this bit out.
"When all questions were directed at the author,
the room fell silent.
One reporter, eventually, shoved up his hand,
but he only did to ask where the bathroom was."
(LAUGHS) Oh! That is good. That is good.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
I think I might go.
Oh, look, don't do that, you surly little bitch.
Come on. I'm in prison.
I need to take what I can to cheer myself up.
-You shouldn't enjoy it so much. -Oh, fuck off.
Why do you care anyway, you penis?
'Cause...
they only ask about you.
RUBEN: Oh, come on, Bambers.
I'm the main character in this relationship.
When are you gonna realize that?
At best, you're my sidekick.
At worst, you're the guy that brings me my lunch. (LAUGHS)
(SIGHS) Look, I get it.
I cast a big shadow, even within four walls.
But, hey, if you can't handle the questions,
why'd you base the book on me in the first place?
Because I felt...
I don't know...
something.
RUBEN: Guilty?
♪ (LOW TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Why would you say that?
You know, for the Mona thing.
I'm sorry?
Not keeping an eye on her properly.
Letting that Benji fucker swoop in.
Oh, yeah. No.
No, I mean... (SIGHS)
Obviously, I couldn't watch her all the time.
Hmm.
She still denies it, you know.
That she slept with him.
(SCOFFS) Since when?
Since, I don't know, like a week ago, maybe.
She visited?
Yeah. First time in, like, three years.
Brought little Baird with her, too.
-Fucking love that little guy. -She brought Baird with her?
Yeah. Miracle child.
Three years old now. It's crazy.
Can you believe it? Us. Fathers.
I know you don't get to see yours often,
but check us out, eh?
Two strapping fucking dads.
I don't understand. I thought there were rules in place.
-I thought you couldn't see him. -RUBEN: I couldn't.
But she's changed her mind and all that now.
I tell you,
it's the greatest motivation for keeping my nose clean
in here, getting out before he's old enough
to realize where I am.
But this is so out of the blue, Ruben. I mean...
Why did she visit?
I thought she was with someone else now.
She was, but it's over.
Why? Why is it over?
She was calling out my name during sex.
I don't know that for facts.
I just assume that's what happened.
(LAUGHS)
But, like, I mean, did she say what she was after?
No.
But something was bothering her.
I couldn't really say what it was about.
You didn't get it out of her?
No.
But I will.
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I will.
-(HAMMERING ON DOOR) -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
It's been four years, Mona.
I don't understand. Why now?
I'm fucking lonely, okay?
Little Baird's at playgroup all day,
and Luke's leaving me,
and I fucking miss him, you know?
Well, get him back, then.
Fucking Ruben. It's Ruben I miss.
No, no, no. We're not going back over this again.
It's broken. Move on.
You can't build a relationship on what we've done.
Those kinds of secrets,
they'll destroy you from the inside out.
They won't if I tell him.
If I wipe the slate clean.
Mona, he'll kill us.
-He'll kill you. -Oh, and then what?
You'll have a relationship between plastic prison dividers
for the rest of your life. You're not thinking straight.
Here, put this down.
Get away from me, you pig!
Mona, come on now.
You're not thinking rationally here.
I mean, what happened to compartmentalizing? You used to be so good at that.
(SIGHS) It all catches up with you in the end.
Compartmentalizing is just taking something from your mind
and putting it on your soul.
Come on, Mona, that's ridiculous.
You're only thinking about yourself.
No, I'm not. This is about little Baird, too.
He is getting to that age now, and he's going to need
a masculine role model in his life.
Well, I can be that for him.
Didn't you hear what I just said?
The truth is Ruben wants to be a part of his life,
and I've agreed to all that now.
And I'll be damned if I'm staring on
while the poor bastard raises the kid thinking he's his.
The kid is his.
No, he's not. He's yours.
(SHUSHES) Don't say it. Don't even utter it.
You'll reinforce it in your head,
and it'll come out your stupid mouth one day
when you're steaming fucking drunk.
(CHUCKLES)
How did I burn it all down for you, eh?
A nasty little ogre of a man.
Pull yourself together, okay?
Get Luke back, ditch the sauce, and be an example to your kid.
Don't make me come around here again.
♪ (BROODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SNIFFS)
(INFOTAINMENT SYSTEM RINGING)
(DISCONNECT TONE BEEPS)
(SIGHS, SNIFFLES)
-There she is. -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-Hello, darling. -Hey, Butch.
I haven't seen you in a while.
No, no, I've been working a lot.
Ugh! Can't be doing that now. (CHUCKLES)
You, uh, bring any naughty substances?
No, not tonight.
Thinking of having a chilled one.
In here?
(SCOFFS) Impossible.
Hmm. (SIGHS)
We'll see how long you last.
(SMACKS)
(CHUCKLES)
♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey, Butch? Wait up.
-♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ -(COUGHS)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(SIGHS DEEPLY) -(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Oh, shit.
(CAR ENGINE REVVING)
(SOBBING) Where have you been?
I'm so sorry. I came as soon as I could.
(IN HOARSE VOICE) I can't...
-So is she...? -PARAMEDIC: Almost.
(LABORED BREATHING)
♪ (UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(LABORED BREATHING ECHOING)
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFYING) ♪
-(VOMITS) -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
-I'm so sorry, Mum. -Meh.
She was a nightmare towards the end.
Nice to have you both share an ambulance, though.
My contribution to a stretched NHS.
(SCOFFS)
So what happens now?
Well, we'll get the death certificate.
Then the funeral home will come and take her away
and pump her full of preservative.
I imagine it's like basting a chicken.
-Have you told Ruben? -No.
I've decided you're going to.
Oh, and don't even think about skipping the funeral.
It's likely the prison will let him out,
and you have to be there for him, okay?
And for God's sake, go get yourself checked out.
You've probably got some awful virus
from those places you've been going.
Yes, ma'am.
(DISTANT CHATTER)
(SIGHS)
(PEN SCRIBBLING)
(SIGHS)
ROGER: This way, please, Mr. Kennedy.
♪ (SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Here. Thank you. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
I-- I'm sorry, that... that guy in the room, across the hall.
Is he called Albert?
Yeah. That's right. How come?
Oh, it's just, um,
I knew him once.
We lived together at university.
Wow. Small world.
Yes. Yeah.
Please, sit.
(DISTANT CHATTER)
PATIENT: ...the exit?
ALBY SAFADI: It’s just down the corridor to the left.
-(DOOR CLOSES) -PATIENT: Thanks.
ROGER: How you doing, mate? This guy says he knows you.
-ALBY: When was he here? -He just left.
-(DOORS OPENING) -ALBY: Niall!
-Niall! -(RAPID FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(SIGHS)
Alby!
-What a surprise. -I know you saw me.
(CHUCKLES)
What are you doing working here?
I thought you studied philosophy.
I did.
I went back to uni to make up for lost time.
Nursing was actually my fourth degree in the end.
Turns out I have wanderlust.
(CHUCKLES)
You look...
good.
Well, it's a couple of facial reconstructions
since the last time you saw me.
Unfortunately, I'm still a bit more Picasso than Da Vinci
for my liking, but it's getting there.
(CHUCKLES)
I heard about the book, though. That's exciting.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
The, uh, details on your clipboard, less so.
Oh, isn't that, uh, confidential?
Took a little peek.
-Sorry. -(SIGHS)
Ladies.
Really, Niall? Ladies?
Oh, fuck it! I lied.
I'm sorry. I just... I felt vulnerable, I suppose.
You never change, do you?
(SIGHS) I know. It's... it's tragic.
Well, the good thing is, we can help.
We, uh...
We also offer support for those who partake
in chemsex parties.
If you're interested.
And what makes you think I need that?
ALBY: I can tell.
After all, I've been there myself.
It is quite the hole to get out of, take it from me.
♪ (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
It is good to see you, old friend.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(SLURPS)
-♪ (MUSIC ENDS) ♪ -(DOOR OPENS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(DOOR SHUTS)
There he is, Edgar Allan Poe-faced cunt.
(LAUGHS) Fuck me, man.
You should have been here last night.
The heat was unreal.
The one day a year where the sun graces us
with her presence and she decides
to hotbox our cell.
Honestly, man, it was fucking sweltering.
I went for a shit and my testicles ended up
about a half inch beneath the water.
Ruben, Maura died.
(CLICKS TONGUE) Hmm.
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
Was it quick?
-Was what quick? -Her death.
Well, no.
She was diagnosed, like, 20 years ago.
Yeah, but, like, she went peacefully?
Peacefully. Yeah.
Obviously, factor in the last few years
of considerable decline.
-Just say yes. -Yes.
(SIGHS) Were you, like, with her when she passed?
No. Uh...
I was in the waiting room.
I felt a little sick looking at her
back at the house, so I kept away.
You didn't spew, did you?
You always fucking spew.
Well, yeah, I might have, actually.
You didn't spew on her, did you?
-Well, I... -You spewed on my dying mother?
I suppose when you put it like that.
This is not how I expected this to go.
That fucking cunt.
♪ (LOW INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Who? -Benji.
He took these years from me.
NIALL: No, Ruben, you can't go there.
You've been learning to let go of your anger, have you not?
-Yeah, but now it's back. -NIALL: No, no, no.
Process it like they taught you.
This is just grief, and you're shouldering it
onto the nearest emotion that you know.
Fuck that!
Don't you psychoanalyze me, pup!
You don't know a damn thing about my emotions.
Well, I do a bit.
I mean, my dad died too, remember?
Oh, fuck off!
At least you got the chance to say goodbye.
Imagine not being there for him on his deathbed
because some cunt took it from you.
-No, that'd be horrible. -Yeah, exactly!
So you think about that before you start talking
about my damn emotions!
And you tell that Benji cunt, wherever he is,
that when I get out here, I'm gonna find him.
And I'm gonna finish what I should've done
the first time around.
I'm not gonna do that, Ruben.
You're fucking doing it, yeah?
You’re fucking doing it, Niall Kennedy, yeah!
Say it! Yeah?
I've got your fucking balls!
Don't you fucking forget it!
You're fucking doing this!
Yeah? You hear me?
You don't fucking say no to me, you little cunt!
You're fucking doing this, yeah?
(YELLING) Yeah!
You little fucking prick!
You fucking little prick!
You're doing this!
You fucking don't say no to me!
(DISTANTLY) You cunt!
-You're fucking doing this! -(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
♪ (MUSIC RISES, FALLS) ♪
(FAINT CHATTER)
ALBY: Niall Kennedy?
This way, please.
Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were, uh, taking this one.
I thought that my presence here might make it easier
for you to be honest about what you've been doing.
-Fill this out. -(PEN THUDS)
Wow, you've had half of Glasgow.
(LAUGHS)
-Right. Okay. -(MOUSE CLICKS)
Would you like the bad news or the good news?
Bad news.
-Classic. -(CHUCKLES)
Uh, so the bad news is you have syphilis and chlamydia.
But the good news is it's curable.
We'll put you on antibiotics.
It'll clear up in three to six weeks.
Easy money.
(SIGHS) Thank you.
Anything else I can help you with?
Yeah. Uh...
What time do you finish?
In about ten minutes.
You don't, uh...
fancy a drink, do you?
Well, with a sexual history as extensive as this,
how can I say no?
(CHUCKLES)
ALBY: So he just started screaming?
Yeah, it was terrifying.
He said he was gonna kill the guy.
And did this Benji guy actually sleep with his wife?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
Wow, brave man.
And they have a kid together, Ruben and this Mona girl?
(GULPS) Yeah.
You mean it could be Benji's?
Ruben always had difficulty conceiving.
Surely, he must suspect something, no?
Mm, I'm not sure.
I mean, even if he had the thought,
I don't think he pays it much attention.
He's wanted a kid for so long.
Tends to override any rational thinking.
Have you told him you're gay?
I'm bi.
-Have you told him you're bi? -No.
-Have you told anyone you're bi? -Not really.
Have you told yourself?
No.
Oh, Niall.
I had such hopes for you.
Have you even opened yourself up enough
to have feelings for a man?
Yeah, only once.
What was he like?
He was...
great.
(CHUCKLES) Really quite amazing.
I'm talking about you by the way.
-I figured. -(NIALL LAUGHS)
Look, you...
You don't, um...
fancy getting to know one another again, do you?
I mean, you can think about it, if you like.
I mean, you'd probably rather slap me in my face, but...
I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't--
How's Friday?
Sure.
I'll see you then.
And behave now! I don't want to hear
you've been going back to any of those places.
(CHUCKLES)
One, please.
(CASH REGISTER BEEPS)
(MOANS)
So are you into this guy, then?
Yeah, I think so.
Feels like he could be something, you know?
That's great, babe.
I'm really happy for you.
-Butch? -Huh?
(WHISPERING) What's he about?
People watch, bubby.
You should know that by now.
Yeah, but he's not touching himself or anything.
He's just watching.
(GROANS) Okay. Gi-- Give me a sec.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah. Yeah.
He's a freak.
(QUIETLY) I mean, should I say something?
-What would you say? -I dunno.
"Why aren't you touching yourself?"
Leaves you open for criticism there, bubs.
Yeah, but I can't carry on like this
with him just staring.
He's not moving his face.
Just ignore it, bubby.
Drugs will kick in any moment
and you won't care about a thing.
No, I'm gonna say something.
Can I help you, mate?
Yeah.
Do I recognize you?
♪ (UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ -I fucking hope not.
(COUGHS)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CAR ENGINE STARTING, REVVING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
-Don't worry. -♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
I'm the best lawyer in the game.
Just remember to blink for fuck's sake.
So, gents, this place is actually a renowned sex club.
Hmm!
Can you explain your reasons for being here?
It's a naturist spa, actually.
You know, if you turn up in those types of uniforms,
people are gonna get confused.
Deep breath in and out, please.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(DEVICE BEEPS)
Back in a moment.
(QUIETLY) You're not helping.
-Just go. I'll see you later. -No way.
I'm not leaving you to die in a homophobic institution
where they'll do God knows what to you.
This was a car crash, Butch, not a murder.
And Britain, not Chechnya.
Just go, before they arrest the both of us.
Breath is clean.
But we'll have to do bloods, I'm afraid.
No, look, I veered wrong. That's all it was.
Listen, I'm very sorry, but we're going to have
to bring you into the station.
Before you do that,
I'll just have a quick word with my client.
Don't worry, I'll get you down there.
Okay? And if you've got anything on you,
I suggest you tuck it under the old ball sack.
They can't do a full-body search for a crime this small. Hmm?
I'll see you in a bit.
Wait, you're not driving, are you?
(SCOFFS)
♪ (UNSETTLING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-♪ (MUSIC ENDS) ♪ -Oh, thank fuck.
I have a funeral today and I'm miles from home.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's my mum's friend, but they're, uh...
Well, they're very close.
Sounds like an excuse, kid.
Well, just charge me then!
I was high! Write it up!
-(BREATHES HEAVILY) -♪ (UNSETTLING MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)
Bloods came back positive for meth
and crack cocaine.
Oh.
I didn't know about the second one.
Can you explain your decision
to drive whilst under the influence?
Look, my client might have been spiked,
so I suggest you charge him now,
and we will fight this to the very end.
Your client also admitted it to a guard earlier.
Right. Did he?
You don't help yourself, do you?
-(SIGHS) -Niall Brandon Kennedy,
you are hereby charged with driving
whilst under the influence of drugs.
-You're not obliged to say anything. -Brandon?
OFFICER: But it may harm your defense if you do not mention
when questioned something which you later rely on in court.
You will be granted bail subject to conditions,
which will be explained to you in due course.
(PANTING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
PRIEST: It is never easy to say goodbye.
But we take comfort in knowing
that while her earthly journey has ended,
her soul has found comfort in the arms of our merciful God.
Maura was a proud woman,
-not in vanity. -NIALL: (QUIETLY) Excuse me. Sorry, guys.
-Or boastfulness. -Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
(PRIEST CONTINUES SPEAKING)
(GRUNTS)
PRIEST: She carried herself with dignity.
(WHISPERING) I'm sorry I'm late.
-PRIEST: And with a strength... -You're a disgrace.
PRIEST: ...that did not demand attention.
She was a kind woman, not just in words,
-but in deeds. -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
PRIEST: Whether it was a neighbor in need,
a friend in sorrow,
or a stranger who simply crossed her path...
-(SNIFFS) -(PRIEST SPEAKING DISTANTLY)
(GAGS)
PRIEST: And now, her dearly beloved son, Ruben Pallister,
would like to say a few words.
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
Thanks everyone for coming.
Can you hear me at the back?
(CHUCKLES)
You know, I've, uh...
I've tried so hard to put into words
what my mum means to me,
and, uh, this is the best I can do.
One side of A4.
I'm not sure what I feel right now, to be honest, though.
I feel a lot of guilt, a lot of anger,
a lot of remorse.
(SNIFFLES) The last thing I feel, in a way...
is grief.
You know, it's funny.
(SNIFFLES) Even though I expected this day to come
every day for over ten years now,
nothing can quite prepare you for it.
Every time I get a call in prison...
you think it's her.
"Just joking. Still alive." (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Not that she joked very much.
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
You know, I-- I sometimes think death isn't so much about
missing the person,
but missing the relationship you could have had with them.
And, uh, we could have been special,
my mum and I, had I just...
focused a bit.
(SIGHS) There was this window in my life where I felt like,
for the first time ever, things might be okay between us.
Um...
I passed this exam back at school, and...
she smiled this smile. I don't know. It was like
her eyes joined her mouth for the first time.
Her... (BREATHES SHAKILY) ...face became whole in a way.
I don't... Sorry, I'm...
I'm going off-script a bit here.
(SNIFFLES)
I saw relief.
I saw pride.
Well, I cheated that exam.
And when she found out, her face, like,
went back to how it was before.
Smiling with her mouth, but not with her eyes,
only heavier now, and...
by the time she was visiting me in prison every week, she was
almost unrecognizable.
You see, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.
Seventeen years in prison.
A third of my life stuck in a fucking box.
When I could have been out there spending time with my mother.
(SOBS)
And I promised her,
when I got out the first time,
that I would never go back in again
as long as she was breathing.
Well, I broke that promise.
And soon, she wasn't breathing.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
So I'm sorry, Mum.
I'm sorry you've had to wait until now
to hear me accept some sort of responsibility. (SNIFFLES)
And I'm sorry for all the things I put you through.
You know,
in a weird way,
I'm sort of glad the cancer came back to take you...
because it saved me being the cause of your death.
So be at rest now, Mum.
(SIGHS)
I'll see you in the next life...
where I'll do everything in my power...
to make up for this one.
(SIGHS)
(SNIFFLES)
You okay?
Hey, little fella.
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
LORI KENNEDY: Angry? You're asking me if I'm angry?
Don't know the meaning of the word angry.
I'm fucking furious.
I mean, let's bloody well break down
what you did this afternoon.
You arrive late, sweating like a bloody pedophile,
and you spend most of your time in the bathroom sniffing coke.
I'm sorry, Mum.
LORI: Why don't you just admit it?
You wanted to ruin this funeral from the start.
-I didn't. -LORI: Oh, come on.
You've always had a problem with her.
This is your way of getting her back.
No, it wasn't. I promise I was just...
MONA SHIELS: Okay? I'll be right back.
Sorry, Mum, will you just excuse me a moment?
No, don't!
What are you doing?
I'm showing solidarity.
The best solidarity you can show is staying the fuck away.
Oh, please.
Only you could put your own selfish needs before a funeral.
-Look, I have told you, but-- -(DOOR SLAMS OPEN)
Here.
Look, you have done your bit.
And that's lovely, but you need to stay away from him now.
-Why do I? -Because you're only gonna hurt him again.
Coming from you? All you do is hurt him.
That's not true! I've visited him every week for four years now.
I didn't flounce off with some fancy man
and then come back because I couldn't stand the loneliness.
-You are such a prick. -NIALL: No, I'm not.
I've done a damn sight more than you in all this.
I've honored him in books.
I changed the entire narrative around what he did
to that poor bloke.
That makes up for one lousy rotten fuck.
-All of it. -Four years.
That's what I told myself.
If the guilt was still there, after four years,
I was to do something about it.
Well, you know what you can do about it?
-Kill yourself. -(CHUCKLES)
Because you'd be dead anyway.
(CHUCKLES)
Do you want to know the one thing that stops me
from telling him most of all?
It's not fear of how he'll react or how upset he'll be.
It's because I can never quite figure out
whether I want to tell him just to fuck you.
Let him know what a traitorous little worm you are.
-RUBEN: Tell me what? -(GASPS)
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Oh, sorry, Ruben.
I thought you were downstairs with Baird.
I mean, how long you been there for?
Long enough.
Where's your guard?
He's in my pocket, that's where.
Aren't you supposed to be with him at all times?
Shut the fuck up.
Sounds like there's something going on here
that I should know about.
No, there's not.
Mona was just leaving, actually.
No, you're fucking not.
Not until you explain.
Explain what?
The hushed whispers, the fucking cupped conversation!
Because last I heard, you weren't in touch.
Now you're arguing like you shared a lifetime together.
So what is it?
What is it?
(SNIFFLES) I'm gonna give you ten seconds...
to explain...
what could be so fucking important
that you'd take a time-out of my mother's funeral
to come up here and chat away from me.
So what is it?
(SIGHS) You motherfuckers.
(RUBEN BREATHES HEAVILY)
I mean, we can do a countdown if you want.
-Ruben, listen. -Five, four...
-No. -Ruben, please, just... just listen.
-Three... -Ruben, please, it's--
GUARD: Ruben!
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
I-- I thought you were going for a piss.
I was.
I got caught up chatting.
GUARD: Well, you can't be doing that, son.
I almost phoned you in. Come on.
-(GRUNTS) -This isn't over.
I know when you're fucking hiding something, yeah?
-GUARD: Come on! -I know when you're fucking lying to me, you rat.
This is my mother's funeral!
You little fucking lying cunt.
Eh? Eh?
-(FOOTSTEPS DESCENDING) -(BREATHES SHAKILY)
I'll stay away, okay?
I promise.
(SOFTLY) Yeah.
♪ (BROODING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
(CLEARS THROAT)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
ALBY: Here. Medications and some pamphlets.
NIALL: Hmm.
Hmm. It's good roach paper, this.
(CHUCKLES) I'm joking. I'll read them.
What happened?
I was arrested and charged today.
Crashed my car outside Bellona's.
Jesus, Niall.
Were you on meth?
Yeah.
My agent called, too.
Someone pictured me outside.
The Sun are gonna run a story on it.
(IN HOARSE VOICE) They're likely to mention the car park
and where I was.
Everyone's gonna know.
-Oh, Niall. -(NIALL SOBS)
♪ (EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
This burden you carry, it's too much to bear.
Don't you think the universe is pushing you to take action here?
(SCOFFS)
I don't believe in that kind of stuff.
Well, I do.
Is some article in a shit-rag paper really the way
you want to out yourself to the world?
I mean, what are you scared of exactly?
(QUIETLY) What people might think.
But don't all the important people
in your life already know?
Ruben doesn't.
Oh, why don't you just tell him, Niall?
I can't.
I just...
-I can't. -You can.
It might be uneasy at first,
but trust me, you will tap into a reserve of strength
within you that you didn't even know you had.
Use this as a chance to open yourself up to the world.
It's that, or let a pigeon-brained journalist
decide how to tell your story.
Let's be honest, after your last two books,
you can't really afford any more bad writing
out there associated with you.
(CHUCKLES) Fuck you.
-(LAUGHS) -(CHUCKLES)
Look, just...
go down to the prison tomorrow,
look him straight in the eye, and say, "This is me."
Or else maybe you're not man enough
to admit you fuck blokes.
Cup of tea?
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFYING) ♪
♪ (UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(DOOR ALARM BLARES) -(DOOR OPENS)
♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
I didn't think I'd see you again.
♪ (LOW TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Last time I put that kind of fear in you,
we went over a decade.
Yeah.
So do you want to tell me what was going on between the two of you then?
-Nothing. -Bullshit.
-Fucking nothing. -Easy, Ruben.
-I know something went down. -I'm gay.
♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
Well, I'm bi, but...
maybe it's cleaner to say gay.
-You're bi? -That's right.
That's what me and Mona were arguing about.
She wanted to tell you.
To get me back for snitching about Benji.
You're bi.
Yeah.
You? Bi?
No, I--
I think I'm gay. Sorry.
Let me retract.
I'm gay.
You're gay.
I'm gay.
(LAUGHS)
-Well, you surprised, then? -Yeah.
At you admitting it. (LAUGHS)
Ah, come on, Bambers, I've always had my suspicions.
-Since when? -Since fucking forever.
Since I found all that Doctor Who shit
in your wardrobe, you nugget. (LAUGHS)
Wait, so you're...
-you're not annoyed? -Annoyed?
What the fuck's it got to do with me?
Well, you don't shy away from slurs,
Ruben, at the best of times.
-They're just words. -No, they're not just words.
-They do damage. -Only if you let them.
Well, I let them!
I let them every day of my fucking life, Ruben!
What do you mean, you're not annoyed?
I'm not anything.
I don't give a fuck who you stick it in. I mean, why would I?
-Our mums are bent. -Yeah, but lesbians are cool.
You said that all the time growing up.
(SCOFFS) When I was like 17.
If our mums had proved anything,
it's that they're actually pretty fucking uncool.
This is all your shit, son.
This has got nothing to do with me.
No chance, Ruben.
You called me a faggot all the time.
Yeah. I also called you ugly and thick,
but you're not sitting here being all insecure about that.
Do you want to know who the real homophobe was
in your life?
Come here.
I'll tell you.
You.
♪ (TENDER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
You were the only one who cared, Niall.
-You always have been. -NIALL: No, not really.
I was bullied pretty bad in school.
You wouldn't believe the type of shit
-that they would say to me. -RUBEN: Yeah, but you listened.
March to the beat of your own drum,
tends to drown out the other noise,
that's what I say.
Yeah, but it's not that easy, Ruben.
It is, Niall. It is.
You've wasted your whole life
dancing to other people's tunes.
But you've never had the rhythm, let's be honest.
But I'll be fucked if I'm sitting here
while you make out that I'm to blame for all your problems.
I'll accept ten to 15 percent, no more than that.
(CHUCKLES)
So you're not annoyed?
No.
Proud, if anything.
They can call us gay and proud.
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)
Wow, I, uh...
-I don't know what to say. -You don't have to say anything.
Thank you.
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
Can I tell you something, Niall?
In the spirit of sharing.
It's about my dad.
NIALL: Yeah.
I hated him.
I know.
(VOICE WAVERING) I hated him 'cause of what he did to me.
He hit you and stuff?
That was the best of it.
Yeah? (SOBS)
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
That was the best of it.
(SOBS)
Oh my God, Ruben, I'm so sorry.
(SOBS)
Fucks you up, man.
Makes you a fucking half-man.
NIALL: No, mate.
Mate, you're anything but a half-man.
If you're a half-man, I hate to think what I am.
A fucking quarter-man.
A bloody dot-man.
(SIGHS HEAVILY) Yeah, but I spent my life proving it.
You know, filling myself back up to the top.
Well, you succeeded. No doubt about it.
You know, uh...
My body would, uh...
respond sometimes, you know?
Right.
In a lot of ways, it's the closest I've ever been with someone.
Is this too much?
No.
No, it's fine.
You know, I would, uh...
I would cum sometimes.
You know?
It is too much.
Sorry.
It is too much.
Do you think less of me? (SOBS)
What? Of course not.
-Don't be ridiculous. You're... -(SOBS)
NIALL: You're my hero.
More so now that I know where you get your armor from.
(SOBS) I'm so sorry.
Hey, look, you don't need to be sorry, all right?
You felt like you couldn't be honest with me.
It was all me, all right? I'm so sorry.
I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
I fucking love you, man.
-I fucking love you, yeah? -(BANGS ON WINDOW)
I fucking love you, brother.
I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
Fucking love you too, yeah?
I fucking love you. (SNIFFLES)
Oh! (SNIFFLES)
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
Oh, fuck me.
We definitely look like a couple of homosexuals now, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)
Oh, fucking hell.
(GRUNTS) Oh, man.
Fuck me. I feel lighter. (SNIFFLES) Is there...
Is there anything else you want to get off your chest?
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, I might as well get them all out now, eh?
(LAUGHING) Yeah. Go on, go on.
(CHUCKLING) Uh... Oh, fuck. Um...
Do you see Alby?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, the fucking bloke I mashed.
-NIALL: Yeah? -Yeah.
-I'm seeing him. -(CHUCKLING) What? No way!
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
-I think he's the one. -What?
How long have you been together for?
Uh, a week. Not even.
What? You fucking mad cunt.
NIALL: You know when you know, right?
(LAUGHS) I suppose.
(SNIFFS) Wait, wait, hold on.
Was that what he wanted to tell me
-in the kitchen that time? -Yeah.
You fucking cunt.
I went to prison for over a decade 'cause of that.
I wouldn't have given a shit!
You fucker. You fucking cunt.
-(LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS) I'm sorry.
Wait, you go! You go!
Uh... Oh, you see Celeste?
What, as in my, uh, my ex-flatmate, Celeste?
-RUBEN: Yeah. -Yeah.
I fucked her when I got out of prison.
NIALL: What? No way!
-RUBEN: Made it my mission. -What? She went for it?
-Like a dog to a boner. -(BOTH LAUGHING)
NIALL: Didn't she fucking hate you?
She fucking did, yeah.
Fucking frog bitch almost broke my pelvis.
-(LAUGHS) -(NIALL LAUGHS)
Go on, you tell me something.
-Go on, go on. -I fucking hated your mum.
Yeah, I fucking hated yours too.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Uh... Uh, you see how your gym kit
would always go missing back at school?
-Yeah. -That was me.
Fuck. You fucker. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, I just couldn't resist seeing you slipping
around the football pitch in your awful fucking brogues.
Yeah, I looked like a fucking tit every bastard week.
-(BOTH LAUGHING) -(SLAPS THIGH)
You fucking cunt. You cunt.
(BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING)
-Oh. (SNIFFLES) Okay. (GRUNTS) -(NIALL GROANS)
Anything else?
(LAUGHING) Yeah, I fucked Mona while you were away.
-(LAUGHS) -♪ (MUSIC GROWS TENSE) ♪
Baird's my child. (LAUGHS)
♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFYING) ♪
♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
-(BREATHING HEAVILY) -(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
-(GRUNTS, LAUGHS MANIACALLY) -(NIALL GRUNTING)
-(MUFFLED SCREAM) -(GRUNTING WILDLY)
-(BONE CRUNCHING) -(MUFFLED WAILING)
-(RUBEN GRUNTING) -(GASPS, SCREAMS INDISTINCTLY)
(LAUGHS) Oh, he’s got some fucking fight in him, has he?
-(GROWLING) Come on! -(MUFFLED) No!
-(ROARING WILDLY) -♪ (MUSIC BUILDING) ♪
(GRUNTING)
Fuck! (GRUNTING)
-(NIALL GRUNTS) -(GROANS)
-(GASPS) -(RUBEN GROANS)
(SCREAMS)
(BOTH GRUNTING, PANTING)
(RUBEN YELLS)
(GASPS)
(GROANING)
-(PANTING) -(RUBEN CONTINUES GROANING)
NIALL: No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
(SCREAMS INDISTINCTLY)
-(ROARING, SCREAMING) -(NIALL GRUNTING)
(MUFFLED SHOUT)
I fucking love you, brother, yeah?
I fucking love you, yeah?
Yeah! (SCREAMING)
-(CONTINUES SCREAMING) -♪ (HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
(GRUNTING, BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SOBBING, PANTING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
♪ (MUSIC FALLING) ♪
-(GRUNTS, GROANS) -♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(PANTS)
(GROANING)
(GROANS)
(GROANING, BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANING)
(SOFTLY) Fuck.
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
(GRUNTS APATHETICALLY)
♪ (“DANNY BOY” BY FREDERIC WEATHERLY PLAYING) ♪
♪ Oh, Danny boy, the pipes The pipes are calling ♪
♪ From glen to glen ♪
♪ And down the mountain side ♪
♪ If you will bend ♪
♪ And tell me that you love me ♪
♪ Then I will sleep in peace ♪
♪ Until you come to me ♪
♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪