1 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,720 You look nervous. 2 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,400 No, I'm not. I'm just... 3 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,360 I don't know. 4 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:44,920 It feels big. 5 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,560 You'll be fine. 6 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,640 You're always fine. 7 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,760 The only positive about having a hyperactive brain 8 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,200 is it's never as bad as you expect it to be. 9 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,840 Great. 10 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,640 Good pep talk, Mum. 11 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,320 Here. 12 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:06,520 Got you something. 13 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,480 Finally. 14 00:01:14,039 --> 00:01:15,039 A way out. 15 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,960 Shut up! 16 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,760 It was your father’s sgian dubh. You wear it in your sock. 17 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,280 Yeah, I know. 18 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,120 Can it go via the left ventricle? 19 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,400 You're making a lot of death jokes for a man getting hitched in a few hours. 20 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,520 No, I'm fine. 21 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,880 I want to do this. It's just... 22 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:36,920 I don't know. 23 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,600 I want it to work out. 24 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,560 I mean... 25 00:01:44,759 --> 00:01:46,680 your marriage worked out in the end, did it not? 26 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,800 He got ill so quickly, I could never really tell. 27 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,280 He always made a lot of effort too, which put me off. 28 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,240 Your dad was a lot more fun when he was spurning our dates 29 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,680 and never calling me back. 30 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,400 That's why I got on so well with Maura. 31 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,440 We never signed a contract saying we expected more from one another. 32 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,479 Are you missing her? 33 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,080 I miss them both. 34 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,560 Yeah. 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,160 What about Ruben? 36 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,400 Any feelings there? 37 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,920 Yeah, I suppose. Maybe a... 38 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,160 small part of me, you know... 39 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:40,640 misses him. 40 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:43,800 Well, that's something. 41 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,400 -What do you mean, "that's something"? -No, I just... 42 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:51,640 Look. 43 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,320 I don't know how to tell you this... 44 00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:57,440 but he's on his way. 45 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,520 You're joking? 46 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,080 No. He found out this morning. I don't know how. 47 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,360 But he'll be here any minute. 48 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,680 Niall. Come and say hi. 49 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,280 Eighteen years. 50 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,120 I know it's only 20 minutes down the road, but still. 51 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,880 What am I gonna do with all my excess cortisol? 52 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:12,880 Here. I got you something. A little moving-in present. 53 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,120 I was going to get "Number One Student," 54 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,080 but it was 20 pence a letter, and to be honest, 55 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,320 you haven't proved yourself yet. 56 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,320 Wow, big font. 57 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,240 Almost reads like an insult. 58 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,520 I love it. Thank you. 59 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,080 -How you feeling? -Yeah. 60 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,080 Pretty overwhelmed. 61 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,840 Just hope I find my people, you know. 62 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,920 You will. This place is full of nerds and virgins. 63 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,240 Embrace it, Niall. This is a fresh start. 64 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,760 A chance to figure out who you are a bit. 65 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,920 Away from Ruben. 66 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,400 Oh, Mum, I don't know why you keep bringing that up all the time. 67 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,480 -We're just close. -You're too close. Honestly. 68 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,600 You should see the pair of you when you're together. 69 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,760 You strut around town like you'll never pay taxes. 70 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,280 -What's wrong with that? -It doesn't suit you, Niall. 71 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,120 You're not a strutter. You don't have the legs for it. 72 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,800 -He is gonna want to visit, Mum. -I know, but just... 73 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,240 bed in a little bit before inviting him, yeah? 74 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,760 I just think it would be good for you to see what life is like 75 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,960 without his light blinding your eyes. 76 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,000 Shall we? 77 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,320 Go make friends now. 78 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,120 I don't want to come back here in four years' time 79 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,120 to find you conversing with a pot plant. 80 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,200 I will. 81 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,880 And don't call Ruben! 82 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,880 Jesus, Mum, I won't. I'll be fine without him. 83 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,680 I promise. 84 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,040 Just a minute! 85 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,520 Hi. What's your name? 86 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,720 -I'm Niall. -I'm Joanna. 87 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,480 Why are you sitting in the dark? 88 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,600 Oh, no, I wasn't. 89 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,720 Well, I was, but I was having a power nap, you know, 90 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,080 ahead of a big Freshers. 91 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,280 You nap in your shoes? 92 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:31,640 Yeah. 93 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,640 It's a time-saving thing, 94 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,159 so I can wake up and hit the bar straight away, you know? 95 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:39,840 Right. 96 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,080 Anyway, wanna join? 97 00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:44,120 We're doing pre-drinks, then we're going to the union. 98 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,600 Non-stop New Wave all night. 99 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,440 Yeah. Yeah, I love New Wave. 100 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,280 Amazing. Who's your favorite? 101 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,400 Jonny and the... New... Waves. 102 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:03,760 Right. 103 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,880 Well, see you in a bit. 104 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,800 There he is! This is Neil, the final flatmate. 105 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,320 Actually, my name's-- 106 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,960 This is Celeste, a French exchange student. 107 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,600 Porridge man! Come save me! 108 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,440 Do you want a drink? You've got one choice, and that's vodka. 109 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,159 I'll have a vodka with a tiny splash of vodka then. 110 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,400 Just a vodka, please. 111 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,000 Vodka and porridge? Now, there's a combination. 112 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,560 Sorry, what's this porridge thing? 113 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,600 -Celeste wants a Scottish man. -One like the cereal box. 114 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,400 You know, the man with the kilt throwing the boulder. 115 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,120 I told her Scotland's nothing like that. 116 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,480 If anything, it should be a fat bloke with diabetes throwing a sausage roll. 117 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,320 Right, enough of this mindless chit-chat. 118 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,800 Let's get out of this rat den and go clubbing. 119 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,520 Hello. 120 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:30,880 Hello. 121 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,480 -I'm Alby. You must be Neil. -I'm... 122 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,480 -Nice to meet you. -Oh, no, I don't do handshakes. 123 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,920 I feel like it's a social construct designed to keep us apart. 124 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,240 But it's a pleasure, seriously. 125 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,720 Have you met the others? 126 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,440 Experienced, more like. 127 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,760 Yeah. Did they ply you with cheap vodka? 128 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,440 Certainly did. Do you fancy helping? 129 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,600 No, I don't drink. I never have, really. 130 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,760 Wow. Tha... That's crazy. 131 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,200 Yeah, just the old bog-standard heroin for me. 132 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,720 Are we ready to go? I want to meet a porridge man by midnight. 133 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,600 She means you, Neil. You can be her porridge man. 134 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,400 Ignore her. She's proletariat. 135 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,040 -See you later. -Have fun. 136 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,280 Celeste is hot for you. She wants to sow your oats, porridge man. 137 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,120 I really hope this porridge man thing doesn't catch on. 138 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,520 Are you going to bang? She's fit. Like, really fit. 139 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,040 -Well, I'll let her learn my name first. -What, Neil? 140 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,520 -Oh, no. Actually, my name-- -Do you think Alby's gay? 141 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,360 -What? What makes you say that? -I don't know, just a suspicion. 142 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,120 There was this guy at my school who was gay, 143 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,080 and he didn't really know how to join in either. 144 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,320 It seems to be a... a sign, you know? 145 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,520 -Come on, have some shots. -We've unlocked the beast. 146 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,160 I box, you know, and I smoke hash. I have some on me now, in fact. 147 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:13,040 What happened to the guy in the flat? Like, what have you done with him? 148 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:14,560 Cheers. 149 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,800 Right. Let's go. 150 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,120 Nicely rolled. 151 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,280 You're a dark horse, aren't you? 152 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,360 You guys are so gonna get it on. 153 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,360 It's like having subtext around. 154 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,800 Fine, I'll leave. 155 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,480 No, don't! 156 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,360 I had better go after her. 157 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,280 Blowback? 158 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,400 See you later, porridge man. 159 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,040 -Didn't think you'd make it. -Well, what can I say? 160 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,800 I heard the city calling my name. 161 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:32,400 That'll be the heroin. 162 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,040 May I? 163 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,960 So, what brings you to Glasgow? 164 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,200 Loads of things. 165 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,440 The city... music, the nightlife, the women. 166 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,880 What is it you study again? 167 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,040 -English Literature. -Cool. 168 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,240 I was going to guess Theater Studies, so not too far off. 169 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,680 Theater Studies? Hell no. 170 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,120 That's miles off. What makes you say that? 171 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,000 I don't know. You... 172 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,480 you strike me as a performer in some way. 173 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,680 -What, like an actor? -No, a performer. 174 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,200 Like... 175 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,760 Like you're performing somehow. 176 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:38,840 Hey, it's nothing to worry about. 177 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,480 I mean, after all... 178 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,960 I'm a performer too. 179 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,560 Something I said? 180 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,280 No, it's just... 181 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,000 Okay, let's go, buddy. 182 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,160 All right? 183 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,560 -I don't like it. -What? 184 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,760 Four years doing fuck all and getting paid for it? 185 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,520 Come on, now. Don't be a pube. 186 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,160 What are the birds like? Any got the hots for you? 187 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,280 Actually, yeah. I think so. 188 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,200 I can't tell if she's coming on to me or if she's just French. 189 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:48,040 A French bird? Ooh, la, la! Two days in, he's already fine dining. 190 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,160 Come on. What's bothering you, shagger? 191 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,400 I... I just... 192 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,760 I just don't feel like myself here. 193 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,400 Everyone keeps calling me Neil, and there's this... 194 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,599 Alby guy who's-- He's spinning me out a bit. 195 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,640 You only need to ask. 196 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,400 Oh, no, I... I... I couldn't. 197 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,319 Just say the words. 198 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,560 I need you. 199 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,400 Chuck the keys, shagger! Be up in a bit. 200 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,760 Gonna have a fag and see if I can split a fresher. 201 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,680 I had to run them through twice. 202 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,400 You scared the shit out of me. 203 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,960 Yeah, well, I'm not cleaning it up this time. 204 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,560 Look, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't-- 205 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,080 You were a disgrace last night. 206 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,120 What do you mean? 207 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,600 Leaving early with no explanation. 208 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000 Right. 209 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,040 Why are you in your underpants? 210 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,640 No reason. 211 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,640 Just, you know, catching the air on my thighs. 212 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,840 I'll put them back on. 213 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,560 Well, this has been a fascinating insight into human behavior, 214 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,360 but I've got some reading to do. 215 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,400 Thank you. 216 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,000 There he is! Houdini. 217 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,720 -I'm sorry? -You, last night, and your vanishing act. 218 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,000 Very disappointing. 219 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,440 Oh, my God. 220 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,600 You should see how fit this guy is outside. 221 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,320 He looks like trouble. 222 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,880 Oh, my God. He just came into the halls. 223 00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,960 Hey! Maybe he'll move in upstairs 224 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,640 and you can have a really dysfunctional romance. 225 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:02,840 I'd love that, you know. 226 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,120 Oh, no. 227 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,840 There he is! Bring it in, son! 228 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,000 -Get off of me! Ruben! -You big student, bastard you! 229 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,680 Hey? Hey? You tax-dodging fuck! 230 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,520 Stop! 231 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,960 This is Ruben, my... my brother. 232 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,240 And you're the flatmates? 233 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,840 You must be the gorgeous French one. 234 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,200 No, that's Celeste. I'm Joanna. 235 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,240 Sorry, I just assumed you were the gorgeous one. 236 00:20:58,760 --> 00:20:59,760 Right, you. 237 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,640 I'll see you outside. 238 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:06,640 Joanna. 239 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,440 His name's Niall, by the way. 240 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,240 That was epic. 241 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,120 Mate, you're a lucky son of a bitch living with those two. 242 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,000 I'll take the ugly bird off your hands then, shall I? 243 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:37,640 She's not ugly, is she? 244 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,400 Hey, I'm not complaining. Ugly birds are the better lay anyway. 245 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,160 -You're a sick fuck, Ruben. -You love it. 246 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,440 What the hell? 247 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,680 Do it back. Trust me. It'll work. I've got a game plan. 248 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,320 What? No! That fucking hurt! 249 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,320 Does little soft-cock Niall Kennedy not have it in him to hit a man? 250 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,280 Would soft-cock Niall Kennedy rather go off 251 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,320 and read some gay little books instead? 252 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,160 S... Sorry, I... 253 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,320 You fucking beauty. 254 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,240 Stop it. Stop. 255 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,280 Keep still. 256 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,520 There are certain parts of my body I don't have control over, Joanna. 257 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,800 You're very different, you two. 258 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,000 Stop. 259 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,480 It's like one needs a head and the other needs a body. 260 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,800 I think you have doubts, Niall. 261 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,000 About you? No way. 262 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,440 I spoke to Alby about this. We have our theories. 263 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,800 You're a virgin, aren't you? 264 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,800 That's why the disconnect. 265 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,440 Shall we play spin the bottle? 266 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:31,400 Basically, wherever the bottle lands, you need to kiss that person. 267 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,680 You know there's a good chance it lands on family? 268 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,600 -Family have a veto. -Very convenient. 269 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,960 I'll go first. 270 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,840 Ready? 271 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,960 Come on, frog. I want a French one. 272 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:08,840 I'm not scared of you. 273 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,880 Prove it. 274 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:29,880 Okay, guys, that's great. 275 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,080 Other people are yet to... 276 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:39,880 Thanks, guys. 277 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,200 Thanks, guys. 278 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,560 Thanks, guys. 279 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,840 Thanks, guys. 280 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,680 Come on, guys, it's a kiss, not a tongue transplant. 281 00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,760 Niall, you take this one. 282 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,760 Sorry. 283 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,440 Don't mind me. 284 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:40,600 Who's next? 285 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,600 Fuck it. I'll go. 286 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,200 You're up. 287 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,320 S... Sorry, I don't think we've been acquainted. I'm Alby. 288 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,320 I know exactly who you are. 289 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,080 Ruben. Niall's brother. 290 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,000 I don't do handshakes. 291 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,280 And I don't do with people turning them down. 292 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,760 What are you waiting for? 293 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,480 I... I wasn't playing. 294 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,160 Spin the bottle. Ancient law. 295 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,640 You enter the room, you're playing. 296 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,480 Okay, well, can't argue with ancient law. 297 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,600 -Yes, Alby! -This is exciting. 298 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,360 Oh, yeah! 299 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,480 Amazing. 300 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,720 What are you waiting for? 301 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,800 You not man enough to kiss a bloke or something? 302 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:32,880 Yeah, kiss him. 303 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,360 Have your IDs ready, please. 304 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,400 -What's that? -Electricity, mate. Have a sniff? 305 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,200 -No, no, I'm... I'm good, actually. -All the more for me, then. 306 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:38,560 Boys? 307 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,040 Celeste. 308 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,760 -Bump of life, mate? -Sure. Why not? 309 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,200 -Do you even know what that is? -Don't care. 310 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:53,920 Need to tolerate your brother somehow. 311 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,960 -Where's Joanna? -Urinating in the bushes. 312 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,400 Sorry, guys. Bet you think I'm minging now. 313 00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:14,040 Right, let's talk game plan. Is the fat prick checking student IDs? 314 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,480 Yeah, looks like it. You'll charm them though, don't worry. 315 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,720 Nah, bouncers are the only ones who manage to see through my bullshit. 316 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,800 What bullshit? 317 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,160 Exactly. I'll have to find another way in. 318 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,280 -But wait, what if you don't? -Don't worry. 319 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,000 I have a knack for worming my way into tight spaces. 320 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,040 Hey. 321 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:00,640 Hey. 322 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,640 Can't get enough of that Irn-Bru? 323 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,880 No, I'm here for all the pussy. 324 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,600 I'm sorry about my brother. I mean, his heart's in the right place. 325 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,760 I've always hated that phrase. 326 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,000 It's excuse-making for shitty behavior. 327 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,120 And why did you bring him? 328 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,720 I wanted to see him. We... We're practically the same person. 329 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,480 You're not remotely. 330 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,400 You're the same person in the same way Jekyll and Hyde are the same person. 331 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,440 Yes, I love this song. 332 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,720 I don't. Geldof's a wanker. 333 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,760 His heart's in the right place. 334 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,120 -Did you see Live Aid? -Holy shit. Freddie Mercury? 335 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,320 -Yeah, incredible, wasn't it? -Yeah. 336 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,000 Would be nice, wouldn't it? To be able to dance like that. 337 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,360 What, you're telling me that Niall Kennedy can't "Radio Ga Ga"? 338 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:04,360 Here, watch this. 339 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,680 -Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, it's-- -No, no, no, I love it! 340 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,240 It was as though Freddie had died and come back with longer limbs. 341 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,080 What the hell is he doing? 342 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,320 -Hey, are you okay? -Look at this place. 343 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,760 How did we get from hunter-gatherers to student unions? 344 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,400 It's an evolutionary mishap. 345 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,520 Excuse me, mate. You just nudged me. 346 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,760 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you should slow down a bit. 347 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,840 -Look, promise me you won't start shit. -I won't. It's a bumpy come-up is all. 348 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,240 I'll be chock-full of love in a second, don't you worry. 349 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,160 There they are. The slappers. 350 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,440 -Come here, you. -No! 351 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,880 Put me down! 352 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:44,600 -It's going to end horribly. -Yeah. You have no idea. 353 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,640 Here. 354 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,640 I'll be your guide. 355 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,240 Ease you in a bit. 356 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,240 Less tongue. 357 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,600 -What? -Next time, less tongue. 358 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,080 Right. 359 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,160 What happened to easing in? 360 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,760 I think I'm feeling it. 361 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,200 Here. 362 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,520 -You're still flaccid. -I-- Well, I'm not gonna get one here. 363 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:55,600 That's fine. 364 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,520 We leave. 365 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,200 -Yo! We're leaving. -Fuck yeah, you are! 366 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,280 -Don't raise hell, okay? -It's already raised, son. 367 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,400 Ruben has blackness in him. 368 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,440 I think you need some water. 369 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,480 My coat. Wait here. 370 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,719 Alby. Alby, wait up. 371 00:34:58,440 --> 00:34:59,440 Where's Celeste? 372 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,800 Narnia, by now, I reckon. 373 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,120 Did you have a good night? 374 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:10,320 It started well. 375 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:13,680 I suppose it's ending well too. 376 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,760 Who remembers the middle, right? 377 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:21,280 Exactly. So, many films were forgiven for starting and ending well. 378 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,640 -The Great Escape? -How dare you. 379 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,960 -E.T. -Get out. 380 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,160 It's perfect. 381 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:39,200 What a shitty start to uni. 382 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:43,200 One of my flatmates thinks I'm a virgin, the other thinks I'm a social freak. 383 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,880 -So, you're not a virgin? -No, no. I... I... 384 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,160 I had sex with my brother's girlfriend once. 385 00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,320 Well, we had sex with her together. 386 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,760 Wow, that's dark. 387 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,800 Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around how that works. 388 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,000 Well, he brought her home one night and pretty much placed her on me. 389 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,680 -Right, how old were you? -I was 15, he was 17. 390 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,600 -What? -No... 391 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,400 Just all makes sense now. 392 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,280 Why he feels part of you. 393 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,680 Do you fancy a film or something? 394 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,680 You know, we could watch the start of The Great Escape and the end of E.T.? 395 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,760 Try and make sense of them together? 396 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,640 The prisoners of war who escaped to the moon on a bicycle? 397 00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:43,600 Yeah. Sounds perfect. 398 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,640 -Let's run, 'cause it's freezing. -Okay. 399 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,040 Look... 400 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,120 I'm not quite ready for that. 401 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,560 That's okay. There's... There's no pressure. 402 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,760 I know. I... I want to. 403 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,360 I just... 404 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,600 -I just... -Hey. 405 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:38,720 -Hey, hey, what's going on? -I... 406 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,440 I just-- I don't know where these feelings have come from. 407 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,680 I mean, my mum's gay, for Christ's sake, it should be easy. 408 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:46,960 Wait, your mum's gay? 409 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,960 -Yeah. -I'm genuinely impressed. 410 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,080 I mean, gay mums, Niall, that's pretty radical. 411 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:55,880 Oh, please. They watch Emmerdale. 412 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,120 -You told them? -No way. 413 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,000 The fucking town would have a field day. 414 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,560 They would think there was something in our water. 415 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,080 Well, we can go at your pace. 416 00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:13,520 Even if that means going backwards. 417 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,680 How would that work? 418 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,160 Oh, my, you have a lot to learn. 419 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,280 We can do whatever you want. 420 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,840 We can chat. 421 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,200 We can watch films. 422 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,240 -We can... -Hug. 423 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Maybe? 424 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,040 Well, that's easy. 425 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,080 You're a shit hugger. 426 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,120 It's okay, he's preoccupied. 427 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,080 I... I'm sorry. I... 428 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,680 I'm... I'm sorry. 429 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,200 You love it! 430 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,280 -You stink! No, no, don't. -You love it. 431 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,280 There you are! 432 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:50,400 No! Get away! No, you stink, porridge man. 433 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,520 I'm coming back for more, Frenchy. Just you wait. 434 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:03,800 So, what happened? 435 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:08,400 They just started kissing in front of me. So, I gave Ruben an ultimatum. 436 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,680 I said, "If you carry on kissing her, I'm going home." 437 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:12,680 And what did he say to that? 438 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,560 He said, "Win-win." 439 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,080 -Then spat in my face. -Jesus! 440 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,480 I'm so sorry. 441 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,320 Are you going to be able to get through this induction? 442 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:27,400 I'll be fine. 443 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,320 I've been through worse than him. That's for sure. 444 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,000 We do have a fairly extensive reading list this year 445 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,400 and I suggest you take a look at all the texts on it. 446 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:42,000 I know for some of you, English isn't your primary subject, 447 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,200 but I still think it'd be good to acquaint yourself with the wider... 448 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,440 the wider syllabus. 449 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,280 It's Joanna, isn't it? 450 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,320 Would you like to take a moment? 451 00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,160 Now, for the rest of us, 452 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:02,840 if you can take a look at the handout in front of you. 453 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:09,960 Fucking leek! 454 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,680 Shit! 455 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,080 Fucking leek! 456 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,360 My man. 457 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,040 What's going on here? 458 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,640 Acid. 459 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,720 Some of the strongest shit I've taken. 460 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,280 Your eyes are holes right now. 461 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:37,960 Big... 462 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,960 dark, shitty holes. 463 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,280 Is Celeste okay? 464 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,760 She's just working through some shit. That's the beauty of this drug. 465 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,520 She's actually never been more awake in her life. 466 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,800 Come here. Dance with me. 467 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:11,640 Here. 468 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:14,880 Get on my feet. 469 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,440 You need to be at my level for what I'm about to tell you. 470 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,280 What are we doing here? 471 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,480 My dad. 472 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:35,000 You know what he's gone and done? 473 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,880 Had another child with this random bird. 474 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,440 She's fighting him for custody. 475 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,320 Right. Okay. 476 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,520 We can't let him win, shagger. 477 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,080 We can't let him win. 478 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,120 If you lot don't get the fuck out, I am calling the police. 479 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,120 How'd you get rid of him? 480 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,200 Wasn't too hard. 481 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,920 He is pretty Pavlovian when it comes to police call-outs. 482 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,760 Hey. Hey, hey! What's wrong? 483 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:08,680 Just... 484 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:14,280 Uni was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to... to-- 485 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,800 And I... I just made all the same mistakes. 486 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,080 It's okay. He's not going to be here forever. 487 00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:24,160 -I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. -Hey, hey. Don't worry. 488 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,640 This is what I meant about performing. 489 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,440 I could see it in your eyes, almost. 490 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,160 The real you was in there 491 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,400 just trying to get out. 492 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,080 I mean, that's the thing with eyes, they always tell the truth. 493 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,200 Well, what are they saying now, then? 494 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,320 That you're exhausted. 495 00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,480 That you're done fighting. 496 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,320 Yeah. 497 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,680 You could say that again. 498 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,120 Well, then stop fighting. 499 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,960 You know, I know this isn't, like... like, sexy, 500 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,880 but this is my first time with a man, so sexy can wait. 501 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,160 Yeah, that's fine by me. 502 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:46,080 Wait a sec. 503 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,200 Where the fuck is everyone? 504 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,240 -Just... Just try to focus. -Is he-- Let me just check. 505 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,160 Wait. Wait. What are you doing? 506 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,480 Oh, no, it's just... 507 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,240 it's just suddenly occurred to me that I am doing it again. 508 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,320 What... what do you mean? 509 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,520 I just told myself the last time I got with a straight boy, 510 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,000 -I wouldn't do it again. -No, no. I... I'm sorry, pl-- please, I-- 511 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,680 It's just-- It's Ruben. He'll... He'll kill me if he finds out. 512 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,680 Your mothers are together. Why would he care? 513 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,440 It's... It's different with men, isn't it? It's more... 514 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,640 shameful. 515 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:50,400 Wow, okay. 516 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,560 By society's standards, I mean. 517 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,160 Wait. Alby, please. Let's... Let's reset. 518 00:46:56,240 --> 00:47:00,200 You know, Niall, the first boy I ever got with 519 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,560 was so worried about being found out that... 520 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,240 he came in my hand and then he ran out of the room 521 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:10,000 to tell everyone I hit on him. 522 00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:14,720 I shared a dorm with eight other guys and they beat me up every night. 523 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:21,200 And so, one day, I stood up and I said, "So what? I'm gay." 524 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,200 "The next person to touch me wants it." 525 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,600 And I stood there with my arms crossed 526 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,280 and I waited. 527 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,200 And nothing happened. 528 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:34,800 You know why? 529 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:41,640 Because my strength was far greater than their fear. 530 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:47,520 You know, a few weeks later, I... 531 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,880 I went up to that boy and I thanked him. 532 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:51,960 I said... 533 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:57,160 I said if he didn't tell anyone, I never would have. 534 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,080 Why are you telling me this? 535 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:09,800 Because if he didn't tell anyone... 536 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:12,640 I never would have. 537 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,400 Did your dad have another kid? 538 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,360 Who told you that? 539 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,280 -You did, yesterday. -No, I never. 540 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,520 -I... I should remember, Ruben-- -I never said anything. 541 00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:58,720 Joanna's really upset. 542 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:01,800 Why? 543 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,720 'Cause I fucked a much fitter bird? 544 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,280 -You spat in her face, Ruben. -So what? 545 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,040 I'm not fucking justifying myself to you. 546 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,440 You saw the way she threw herself over me all night. 547 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:12,720 It was embarrassing. 548 00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,720 If you give your body away so easily like that, 549 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,240 don't be upset if it comes back with spit on. 550 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:20,400 What's this about? 551 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,240 An intervention, is it? 552 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,760 Niall Kennedy wanting one of his wee chats. 553 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,400 -Have I gone too far? -No. 554 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,160 No, I... I... 555 00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:33,080 I just think... 556 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,680 maybe it's time to, you... you know... 557 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,680 I think Maura might want you back is all. 558 00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:40,760 Maura? 559 00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:43,360 What the fuck are you talking about Maura for? 560 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,240 You've never given a shit about her. 561 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,120 Well, what about work? 562 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,000 Fuck work. 563 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,040 I'm staying here. 564 00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,120 Why should you get all this for free and I get nothing? 565 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,200 We share everything. 566 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:57,680 I mean, you're wearing my jumper right now. 567 00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,760 It's different. 568 00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:00,600 You don't get to whisk off on a fancy grant 569 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,160 and leave me in a shithole. Fuck that! 570 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:04,000 You should have brought me with you from the start. 571 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,080 -We can't share a room forever, Ruben. -It's not about the room. 572 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:08,600 It's about the fucking principle! 573 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,400 Don't you bring up my father again, okay? 574 00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:20,640 I will rip that jumper off your back, right here, right now. You understand? 575 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:26,040 You got anything else to say? 576 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,320 Stay. Stay as long as you want. 577 00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:44,840 Niall? 578 00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:54,480 How did it go? 579 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:56,800 Did you do it? 580 00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:00,560 Yeah. 581 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:04,160 Oh, my God. 582 00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:06,560 Niall. 583 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:12,440 Well, how do you feel? 584 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,400 I feel... Yeah, yeah, stunned. 585 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:20,240 Look, should... should we go to your room? 586 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,080 Ruben's coming back and I don't want him to know 587 00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,160 we're... we're talking. 588 00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:24,960 What, so he didn't take it well? 589 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:27,120 He needs time. 590 00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,760 It wasn't so much the reveal, I mean, like you said, our mums. 591 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,640 It was more that I kept it so long. 592 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,000 Brotherly shit, you know. 593 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:43,920 Ruben? 594 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:46,360 Don't, don't, don't. Please. 595 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,160 Can I have a word for a moment? 596 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,520 I know what you're gonna say. We've had the chat. 597 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,920 As far as I'm concerned, bygones be bygones. 598 00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:04,760 Wow. 599 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:07,960 That is very commendable. 600 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:09,920 Is that sarcastic? 601 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:15,040 No. No, it's just-- Niall was worried about how you'd react. 602 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,680 Well, I was pissed off at first, but... 603 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:19,760 however you guys want to live, 604 00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,360 I won't get in the way of that as long as I'm staying here. 605 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,560 Wow. I'm so impressed. 606 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:27,720 Really, I am. 607 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,280 Look, why don't you go lie down? 608 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,600 Wait, I... I... I had you all wrong. 609 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,800 The... The way you look out for each other. 610 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,760 I... I get it now. I really get it. 611 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,640 -Great. -Wait, Ruben, I... 612 00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,800 I don't think you quite realize what you've done here. 613 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,320 How huge this is. 614 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,000 Calm down, mate. It's a broken kitchen. I won't do it again. 615 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:04,880 Right, I see. 616 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,560 What is your fucking deal, man? 617 00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,120 -In what sense? -Sniffing your fucking face at me. 618 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,360 Well, it wasn't at you, actually. It was at your brother. 619 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,040 -You think that's fucking better, do you? -Ruben. All right. Come on, let's go. 620 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,440 No, no, no. No. You're really pressing me, son. 621 00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:26,560 -Let's just leave this, okay? -Not until this cunt explains himself. 622 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,280 Do you want to tell him or shall I? 623 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,000 -What the fuck is going on? -Okay, fine, I'll tell him. 624 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,480 -No. Alby, Alby, Alby, please... -Your brother-- 625 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,440 Get the fuck off me! 626 00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:55,440 Ruben. Ruben. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 627 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:57,320 Get off him! 628 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,560 Ruben. Please, please. Stop, stop, stop. 629 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,720 We are gathered here today 630 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:15,680 to witness the marriage of Niall Brandon Kennedy 631 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:19,160 and Albert Franklin Safadi. 632 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:21,520 -What's Ruben doing here? -I don't know. I'm so sorry. 633 00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,720 Jesus Christ, this is fucked up. 634 00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,000 -What do we even do? -I don't know. 635 00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:29,560 I mean... 636 00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:32,600 I could maybe ask him to leave or something. 637 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,320 No, don't do that. It'll just make things worse. 638 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,080 Let's just get through this, then. 639 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:39,840 -It'll be fine. -Okay. 640 00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:46,560 Do you, Albert Franklin Safadi, take Niall Brandon Kennedy 641 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,840 as your lawfully wedded partner? 642 00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:52,720 I do. 643 00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:00,640 Do you, Niall Brandon Kennedy, 644 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:06,960 take Albert Franklin Safadi as your lawfully wedded partner? 645 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,200 I do.