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[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
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[THUNDER RUMBLING]
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MAN: [SINGING] I telegraphed and phoned
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I sent air mail special, too
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Yeah, I know.
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[SINGING] Answer was goodbye
There was even postage due
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[THUNDER RUMBLING]
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I fell in love just once
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And then it had to be with you
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Triple rhyme.
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[SINGING] Everything happens to me
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Oh, fuck.
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[GROANS]
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Yeah.
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ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO]
WQXR notes the passing
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of one of America's foremost songwriters,
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Lorenz Hart, who died last night
at Doctors Hospital in Manhattan
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from complications of pneumonia.
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Mr. Hart was 48 years old.
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For over 20 years,
Hart and his partner, Richard Rodgers,
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Rodgers wrote the music, Hart the words,
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combined their respective geniuses
to create a string of musical-comedy hits.
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Often referred to as America's
Gilbert and Sullivan,
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Rodgers and Hart will be remembered
for such songs as,
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My Funny Valentine,
The Lady Is A Tramp,
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Where or When, With A Song In My Heart,
Isn't It Romantic?,
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My Heart Stood Still, Bewitched,
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I Didn't Know What Time It Was,
Manhattan,
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and Blue Moon.
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[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
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[SINGING]
Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
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Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
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We know we belong to the land
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Here comes "grand."
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And the land we belong to is grand
And when we say
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Yow! Ayipioeeay!
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We're only sayin'
"You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!"
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I need a drink.
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- Lorry.
- I'll see you later, Mom.
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L-A-H-O-M-A
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[EXHALES]
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Oklahoma!
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Yow!
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[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
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[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
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[PLAYING MELLOW TUNE]
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[DOOR OPENS]
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All right. For the last time,
put the letters on the table.
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"If Laszlo and the cause
mean that much to you,
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"you won't stop at anything."
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All right, I'll make it easy on you.
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"Go ahead, shoot.
You'd be doing me a favor."
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Just remember,
I got this gun pointed at your dick.
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Oh. That's my least vulnerable spot.
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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BARTENDER: Jesus Christ! How many times
have we seen that picture?
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Worst line in Casablanca?
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"Well, a precedent is being broken."
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"A precedent is being broken"?
How can you break a goddamn precedent?
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Do they even speak English over there
in Hollywood?
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Still, you have to love Claude Rains.
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He makes that picture.
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- Sure.
- HART: You know why he's so great?
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He's a leading man, and he's short,
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which proves you can be both.
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And I love this.
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He says to Ilsa,
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"Mademoiselle, he's the kind of man that,
if I were a woman
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"and I were not around,
I should be in love with Rick."
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[CHUCKLES]
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Think about it. Whom does he end up with
at the end of the picture?
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Who's strolling away together arm in arm
into the fog?
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You're saying Rick and Captain Renault...
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What do you think goes on over there
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at the Free French garrison
in Brazzaville?
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That is a scene they can't show you.
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Okay. Best line in Casablanca?
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HART AND BARTENDER: "Nobody ever
loved me that much."
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Isn't that magnificent?
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Six words.
"Nobody ever loved me that much."
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[SCOFFS] And, really,
who's ever been loved enough?
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Who's ever been loved half enough?
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Would you get me a shot?
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Larry, you told me
under no circumstances...
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I'm just going to look at it.
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- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- Take the measure
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of its amber heft in my hand.
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- You told me not...
- Just give me the drink.
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[EXHALES DEEPLY]
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Did I tell you what Elizabeth told me?
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That's the girl I'm meeting here tonight.
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- You mean the one you...
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
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- What?
- Show some class, all right?
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Her mother is going to come
walking in here any second.
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- Sorry.
- Seriously.
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I... I adore this girl.
And, I'm telling you, this is beyond sex.
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- What's beyond sex?
- I don't understand it.
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She's completely undeserving,
but isn't that the way it always is?
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"Irrational adoration."
That's the phrase she came up with.
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She's a poet, too. Did I tell you that?
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Oh, and would you give me
a shot of club soda?
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I'll drink one and admire the other.
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So, this girl...
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You really, you know,
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with a 20-year-old college girl, huh?
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It is more complicated
than you could possibly imagine.
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Uh, leave the bottle.
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It's a visual poem.
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You're not giving me any details here.
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You know what my secret goal is
for the rest of this year?
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- What?
- I'm serious. Really.
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My secret goal is to stop being so scared.
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- Elizabeth Weiland. For...
- HART: Those are mine!
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Jesus! That is all you get
for five dollars?
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Plus delivery, yes.
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[SIGHS]
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Lorenz Hart?
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You know, I kind of think
I've heard that name before.
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You just earned yourself
a dollar tip, kid.
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A precedent is being broken.
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[CHUCKLES]
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Hey, she gave this to me.
Mailed it all the way from New Haven
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because I said I wanted something
she'd actually touched.
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[SNIFFS] Christ! It's like I'm 17 again,
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except I never was 17.
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I went directly from childhood
to washed-up.
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- Eddie, get the kid a drink, would you?
- No thanks. I'm... I'm working.
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Oh, Christ, that's when
you should be drinking.
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What's your name? Sven, am I right?
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- Troy.
- HART: Ooh, even better.
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Listen, Sven, are you free tonight?
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Eddie, would you get the kid
a goddamn shot?
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- Yeah.
- 'Cause I am throwing
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an enormous party at my place.
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All of show business is going to be there.
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I've booked the Golden Gate Quartet.
I'm serious.
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I want you to show up, bring a friend,
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bring a dozen friends.
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It's going to be like
nothing you've ever seen before.
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I'm up at the Ardsley, you know?
91st, on the Park.
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Just tell the desk clerk
that you're with Lorenz Hart's party.
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You're going to need to know the password.
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- Are you ready for the password?
- TROY: Mmm-hmm.
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"Nobody ever loved me that much."
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Slow! Oh.
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- Now that is a beautiful sight.
- [COUGHS]
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[SNIFFS]
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What, you don't drink?
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[SINGING]
After one whole quart of brandy
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Like a daisy I awake
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You know that song?
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Uh, no, no.
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[SINGING] My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine...
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I really don't listen to the radio
that much.
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You said you know my name!
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- You don't know one Rodgers and Hart song?
- I know...
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I just can't really remember...
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[SINGING] I'll take Manhattan
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The Bronx and Staten...
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We were on the cover of Time Magazine!
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My picture is on the wall right...
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Eddie, where's my picture?
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EDDIE: They move 'em around.
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- What do you...
- PIANIST: Well, how about this one?
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[SINGING] Blue moon
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I know that one!
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[SINGING ALONG]
You saw me standing alone
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Without a dream in my heart
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Without a love of my own
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Worst goddamn lyric I ever wrote!
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- You wrote that?
- Wasn't even supposed to be the title.
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[CHUCKLING] I like that song.
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HART: Hmm. I'll take my tip back.
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I want you at my party, Sven!
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Doc Bender said to me the other night,
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after I told him I'd proposed
to Vivienne again,
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"She turned me down, again,"
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he said... [IN GRUFF VOICE]
"Larry, make up your mind.
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"Are you homosexual or heterosexual?"
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[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I said, "Doc, I'm ambisexual."
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He said... [IMITATING]
"What the hell does that even mean?"
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[IN NORMAL VOICE] I said,
"It means I can jerk off
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"equally well with either hand."
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Oh, Larry! There's a lady present.
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HART: [CHUCKLING]
Well, women can use either hand, too.
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But to be a writer, you have
to be kind of omni-sexual, don't you?
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You have to have, inside yourself,
you know, everyone on earth.
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Men, women, horses.
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How can you give voice
to the whole chorus of the world
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if the whole chorus of the world
isn't already inside you?
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[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]
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Eddie, what do you call a tireless,
relentless homosexual?
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- [MUMBLES]
- "Indefagitable."
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[CHUCKLING]
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To the great and glorious past,
when it all mattered so much.
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Mmm.
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Keep playing. You're good.
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- Oh, thank you. I'm an aspiring composer.
- HART: "Aspiring"?
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- That means you're breathing, right?
- PIANIST: Mmm.
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I better take your name down
in case I need a new partner.
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Hey, did you go to the opening tonight?
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Oklahoma! With an exclamation point,
no less.
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Fact. Any title that feels the need
for an exclamation point,
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you want to steer clear of.
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[BOTH CHUCKLE]
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00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:03,996
What did you say
your name was again?
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00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,375
Uh, Morty Rifkin. But I go by the name
of Morty Rafferty.
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00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,961
[SOFTLY] No one could possibly
guess you're Jewish.
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[CHUCKLES]
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MORTY: Wha'dja think of Oklahoma?
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00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:23,183
What did I think of Oklahoma?
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00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,394
[INHALES] Well, Knuckles,
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Knuckles O'Rifkin,
that's what I'm going to call you,
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I saw the show a couple of times
in previews in New Haven,
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00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:37,279
back when they were still calling it
Away We Go! Exclamation point.
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And I felt sure Dick was gonna call me,
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"Larry, we're in big trouble.
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00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:47,456
"I need you to funny up the show.
We need some big comedy numbers."
220
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,916
And I was all ready to say,
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"Dick, instead of all this
corn-pone Americana,
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00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,507
"let's do a send-up
of corn-pone Americana!"
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I was already writing lyrics in my head.
I couldn't stop.
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And did he call you?
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HART: Are you kidding?
He was too busy writing more hits. Huh.
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I sat in my box seat tonight and watched
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00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,230
- "Oklahomo, exclamation point"...
- [EDDIE CHUCKLES]
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...down there,
glittering in all its pink lights
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00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,111
and all those cowboy hats
and twirling lassos,
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00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:21,532
and I knew two things
with absolute certainty.
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- [MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
- It was a 14-karat hit
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00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,996
and it was a 14-karat piece of shit.
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00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,373
Oh. Friend of mine saw it in previews,
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00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,334
said it was one of the best shows
he's ever seen.
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00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:35,754
The show is fraudulent
on every possible level.
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And this is not jealousy speaking, okay?
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I watched that show tonight
and I felt this great sinking in my heart.
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And all around me people are roaring.
They are roaring at third-rate jokes.
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I wanted to grab the audience
by the shoulders and say,
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00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:56,776
"What are you laughing at?
Come on! Demand more!" And...
241
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,653
Rodgers is a genius.
242
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,323
I say that without
one second's hesitation.
243
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,033
You're a piano player.
You know that I'm right.
244
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,243
Yeah, he's pretty good.
245
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,119
Pretty good?
246
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,582
There is no one with his range,
his inventiveness,
247
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:17,213
great soaring masculine melodies
building like pile drivers.
248
00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:19,465
I mean, Rodgers is a cold-hearted
son of a bitch,
249
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,258
but he can get a melody to levitate,
250
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:26,013
and that is the hallmark
of great art, levitation.
251
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:31,310
[SINGING] I've got a beautiful feeling
252
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,730
That's the moment. You hear that?
253
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,773
When your spine glows
254
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:40,152
and the whole apparatus of songwriting
suddenly breaks free from gravity.
255
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:44,156
There's maybe five people on the planet
that can pull that off,
256
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,576
and that son of a bitch is one of 'em.
257
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:53,040
And then, oy... [SIGHS]
Words by Oscar Hammerstein II.
258
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,625
[HART AND EDDIE CHUCKLING]
259
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,460
What can I say about Oscar?
260
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,921
He's going to come striding in here
any second,
261
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,256
all seven and a half feet of him,
262
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,050
and, you know, Dick deliberately went
with somebody tall this time,
263
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,927
you know that. [INHALES DEEPLY]
264
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,512
But what can I say about Oscar?
265
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:10,057
He's so earthbound,
266
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,394
and let's face it,
most of us are earthbound.
267
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,938
But there are moments, I swear to God,
268
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,023
there are moments in my work
269
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,192
when I have made something bigger
than myself.
270
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,735
I agree, definitely.
271
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,822
Thank you. The words were bigger
than the music,
272
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,574
bigger than the characters
who sang them,
273
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:30,203
and they approached, for maybe
one-half second, something immortal.
274
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,081
Excuse my limitless self-regard,
but they did,
275
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,126
and if nobody else is going to say it,
then I'm going to.
276
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:40,462
I have written a handful of words
that are going to cheat death.
277
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,090
Spoken with the modesty of a true lunatic.
278
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:45,301
Hey! When Shakespeare wrote,
279
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,595
"Not marble nor gilded monuments
280
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,389
"Of princes
shall outlive this powerful rhyme,"
281
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,017
did people say, "My God, what an ego"?
282
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:57,646
No, they said he is a genius,
and he knows his work is going to last.
283
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,856
So now you're Shakespeare?
284
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:02,443
Look, Oklahoma! is going to win
the goddamn Pulitzer. I know that.
285
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,820
High schools are going to put it on
from now till doomsday,
286
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,698
because it is so inoffensive.
287
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,909
But really, who wants inoffensive art?
288
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,161
Knuckles... [SNAPS FINGERS]
289
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,330
...are you listening to me?
I'm trying to answer your question.
290
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:17,416
Is that why God put us on the planet,
to not offend people?
291
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,252
- [CONTINUES PLAYING TUNE]
- The problem with Oklahoma! is this,
292
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,255
and the problem was right there
in the original play,
293
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,923
Green Grow the Fucking Lilacs.
294
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,593
And Dick first showed that play to me,
all right?
295
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,095
He asked me to adapt it first,
and I said no,
296
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,930
and I don't mind that it's nostalgic,
297
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,891
but Oklahoma!, exclamation point,
298
00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:37,186
is nostalgic for a world
that never existed,
299
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:42,274
and do you really want to write a show
where the main character's name is Curly?
300
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,818
Oh, here's an idea for a song.
301
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:47,196
"Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!
I Just Stepped in Cow Shit!"
302
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,282
[MIMICKING THE THREE STOOGES]
303
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,786
[CHUCKLES] I mean, am I bitter?
304
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,123
We write together for a quarter a century,
305
00:15:57,666 --> 00:16:00,668
and the first show
he writes with someone else
306
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,796
is gonna be the biggest hit he ever had.
Am I bitter?
307
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,547
- Larry...
- HART: Fuck yes.
308
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:09,259
But I need to tell you about Elizabeth.
309
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,636
I need to cleanse my heart.
310
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,137
Here we go. The 20-year-old...
311
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,224
[EXHALES] She's going to come in here
any second.
312
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,101
Uh, Rodgers is gonna
be here tonight, right?
313
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:20,270
- HART: Don't worry, I'll introduce you.
- Oh, that'd be great.
314
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,980
I'm trying to get somebody
to listen to my songs.
315
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,358
Well, listen and learn.
316
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,612
I'm telling you about Elizabeth.
317
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,782
There's something appealingly...
318
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,951
ethereal about her face.
319
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,285
What the fuck does that mean?
320
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,996
Look, I got her all these presents.
321
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,207
You bought her something from Klein's?
322
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,042
[CHUCKLES] She's gonna love this.
323
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,585
Yeah, but that's used shit.
What are you doing?
324
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,003
HART: This is an authentic
first-edition.
325
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,922
You don't understand the magic
326
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,173
and the mystery of this girl.
327
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:51,511
"I have been waiting for this
my whole life."
328
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,681
It's what Somerset Maugham
says in that thing, you remember?
329
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,474
- Me?
- HART: Yeah.
330
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:01,396
"There's always one who loves
and one who lets himself be loved."
331
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,647
That's the truth, isn't it?
332
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:04,898
Of course, you know you're in trouble
333
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,400
when you're looking
for the meaning of life
334
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,987
in a book with the word "bondage"
in the title.
335
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,740
Larry... [EXHALES]
336
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,827
She's a girl. Right?
337
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,706
Okay. See, I always thought
that your interests went more towards...
338
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,416
HART: My interests?
339
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,544
So now you're going to analyze me?
340
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,005
Thank you, Doctor Bacardi.
341
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,299
Look, I met her at rehearsals
for By Jupiter.
342
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,550
And she's not an actress.
343
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,344
She's a college student. Sophomore.
344
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:37,347
Yale. Not the general school,
that's for the guys.
345
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:40,601
This is the School of Fine Arts!
346
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:44,146
Bohemian goddesses in gray smocks
347
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:47,608
mixing paint in morning light.
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,652
She's all of 20 years old.
349
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,320
And you're what?
350
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,030
A youthful 47!
351
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,073
[BOTH LAUGHING]
352
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,784
You know what I call her in my letters?
353
00:17:56,785 --> 00:18:00,120
"My irreplaceable Elizabeth!"
Can you believe it?
354
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,748
If I could write what's in my heart
this second,
355
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,709
I would have the entire audience
levitating.
356
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,795
Oklahoma! would close in shame
357
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,589
if it could hear eight bars
of what's in my heart.
358
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,925
And I've been in eight bars tonight,
so I know what I'm talking about.
359
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,260
[BANGS COUNTER] Go!
360
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:18,096
Last summer, I found myself awake
at 4:30 in the morning.
361
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,057
And all I had done
the previous five hours...
362
00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:23,185
What the hell
are you lookin' at your watch for?
363
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,271
- Larry, I'm working here.
- What the hell do you think I'm doing?
364
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,316
And I'm not even getting paid. All right.
365
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:32,945
TROY: More flowers...
366
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,613
HART: Oh. Eddie, get Sven another drink!
367
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,114
...for Richard Rodgers.
368
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,242
Jesus, how much did those cost?
369
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,829
Sixteen dollars. Plus delivery.
370
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,624
"Dick, I've got a beautiful feeling,
everything's going your way.
371
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,959
"Love, Dorothy."
372
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,628
She's quoting Oscar?
373
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:59,721
I write with her husband for 24 years,
374
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,807
and she's quoting Oscar?
375
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:05,519
91st on the Park, The Ardsley.
We'll be going late.
376
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,522
All right. Well, thanks again, fellas.
377
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:10,733
[DOOR OPENS]
378
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,610
WOMAN: Good evening.
379
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,741
[PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING]
380
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,791
Indulge me for one second.
381
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,335
Let me recreate for you, Elizabeth.
382
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,714
Enough! Did you screw her or not?
383
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:36,383
Show some class, Eddie.
Knuckles, may I speak with you?
384
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,759
Oh, sure, yeah.
385
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,888
[SMACKS LIPS] So,
did you screw her or not?
386
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,936
Elizabeth!
387
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:48,979
Larry!
388
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,481
My irreplaceable Elizabeth!
389
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,774
I'm so happy to see you.
390
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,026
- [KISSES]
- Ah...
391
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,570
- Do you like the hair?
- HART: I love it.
392
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,906
- It's much better than the red.
- I think so.
393
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:02,743
I mean, I liked the red, too.
But this is much more other-worldly.
394
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,036
I have to go set up for the party.
395
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,246
No, no, no. I got you some flowers!
396
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,623
Aww.
397
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,375
- I'm overwhelmed.
- Well, I have that effect on people.
398
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,836
- I have so much to tell you.
- HART: Like what?
399
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,589
- I've been writing in my journal again.
- HART: I hope you let me read it.
400
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,467
No, no, no, no. The big one.
401
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,513
And these are what
Richard Rodgers is getting?
402
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,892
Larry, my mother would die
if she saw this.
403
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,187
- With your permission.
- Permission granted.
404
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:34,025
- That guy I told you about?
- HART: Cooper?
405
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,777
- It finally happened.
- No!
406
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,112
ELIZABETH: Yes.
407
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,824
On my birthday.
The night of my 20th birthday.
408
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,118
Pretty dramatic actually.
You could write a play about it.
409
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,205
A musical. He Has Risen.
410
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,831
- ELIZABETH: Larry... [CHUCKLES]
- It's an Easter musical!
411
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,334
It's very religious!
412
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,670
Let me clarify by saying
it almost happened.
413
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:55,963
Clarify immediately!
414
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:58,256
- I'm gonna tell you the whole story later.
- No, no, I demand
415
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,510
to know the shorthand version now.
416
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,054
- The shorthand version? Okay.
- HART: Mmm-hmm.
417
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,600
The skin on his back was flawless.
418
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,143
Gotta run.
419
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,063
You're going to introduce me
to Richard Rodgers, right?
420
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,147
Before the evening is over,
421
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,441
you're going to get a huge handful
of Dick.
422
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,361
Larry! You're so vulgar!
423
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,197
[CHUCKLES] Handful of Dick, that's funny.
424
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,408
- Hey...
- HART: Hmm.
425
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:28,286
I'm writing an entire musical about her.
426
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:32,165
It's inspired by those Frank Capra
war pictures Why We Fight.
427
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:33,501
This one will be called
428
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,336
Why We Fuck.
429
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:39,131
And the big ballad at the end will be
430
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,925
The Skin On His Back Was Flawless.
431
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:42,844
[CHUCKLES]
432
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,929
Of course, when you're 20,
433
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:49,266
what other commodity do you have
to trade in on except your body?
434
00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:51,644
You haven't done anything, right?
435
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:56,065
Can you imagine what Elizabeth would write
if she saw my back?
436
00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:59,317
"The skin on his back
437
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,738
"looked like a white bed sheet
someone had thrown-up on.
438
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:06,868
"His pecker looked like the horn
of a retarded unicorn."
439
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:08,369
[EDDIE TUTTING]
440
00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:11,539
Just one...
441
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,791
to get me through congratulating him.
442
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,127
Larry.
443
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:22,507
To the skin on her back
like every other part of her,
444
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,177
flawless.
445
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,430
Wow.
446
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:33,977
How can so much pleasure be compressed
into so small a container?
447
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,273
That's it. Absolutely no more. Agreed?
448
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:39,859
[MORTY PLAYING IT AIN'T
NECESSARILY SO ON PIANO]
449
00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:43,070
[HART SCOFFS]
450
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:45,031
God! I miss Gershwin.
451
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:53,705
I bet I saw Porgy and Bess more times
than any other person in this city.
452
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,707
Best line in Porgy,
453
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:59,712
"When Gawd made cripple,
He mean him to be lonely."
454
00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:04,716
Did you ever think
your entire life is a play...
455
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,384
- HART: Hmm.
- ...and that, you know,
456
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,969
99% of the people in it,
457
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,471
they got no lines, you know?
458
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:12,140
They're just like extras.
459
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:16,813
And you,
you're just an extra in their play.
460
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,356
Deep. Very deep.
461
00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,316
- I got thoughts, too, you know.
- Really?
462
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,651
I thought you were just an extra.
463
00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:25,196
Will somebody get these fucking flowers
off my bar?
464
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:26,739
MAN: Okay!
465
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:28,991
[EDDIE WHISTLES]
466
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,161
You've got to see her as I did.
467
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:35,705
- I just seen her.
- HART: No, the first time.
468
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,457
If you can't see that,
469
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:40,585
you can't understand
what this whole night is about.
470
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:42,254
I'm beginning to think
you didn't screw her.
471
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:46,133
I want to practice this trick on you
before I do it for her.
472
00:23:46,134 --> 00:23:47,801
And I'm not showing it to her as a trick.
473
00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:52,055
I'm showing it to her
as an experiment to prove
474
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,516
there's an extra-sensory link
between us.
475
00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:56,226
She believes in all that horseshit,
you know,
476
00:23:56,227 --> 00:23:58,436
talking for 20 minutes
about psychokinesis.
477
00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:00,230
I don't understand a fucking word
she's saying.
478
00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:02,440
I'm sitting there, nodding, thinking,
479
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,110
"Is she really wearing
a grape-colored brassiere?"
480
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,612
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
481
00:24:07,822 --> 00:24:10,866
And later, I'm going to teach you boys
my own card game.
482
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:13,785
- Cocksucker's Rummy!
- Larry, language.
483
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,745
Ooh, you're offended
by the word "cocksucker"?
484
00:24:15,746 --> 00:24:17,998
All right, I won't use it.
I give you my word
485
00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:19,457
- as a cocksucker.
- [EDDIE CHUCKLES]
486
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:23,170
But let me tell you
about the first time I saw her.
487
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:24,880
I think I'd rather see the card trick.
488
00:24:24,881 --> 00:24:26,381
Me, too.
489
00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:29,302
You know what the sexiest thing
on the planet earth is?
490
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,887
A half-erect penis.
491
00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:33,805
Jesus Christ, Larry,
nobody wants to hear this.
492
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:34,973
I'm not talking to you.
493
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,308
- Who you talking to?
- HART: Me.
494
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:38,435
I got to talk to somebody interesting.
I mean it, though.
495
00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:40,896
A half-erect penis is a promise.
496
00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:44,024
A fully-erect penis
is an exclamation point.
497
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:47,611
As a writer, it offends me.
It's too loud, it's too adolescent.
498
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,112
The story's already over.
499
00:24:49,113 --> 00:24:53,783
But a half-erect penis,
is it going or is it coming?
500
00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,202
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [HART SHUFFLES CARDS]
501
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,411
[HART TAPS CARDS ON TABLE]
502
00:24:56,412 --> 00:25:01,082
But women appeal to me precisely
for their absence of penises.
503
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,168
Me, too.
504
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:06,713
Oh, they live in a much more interesting
emotional landscape than we do.
505
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:09,466
A landscape we can only dream about.
506
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:12,469
But this evening
is not about landscapes.
507
00:25:12,470 --> 00:25:15,597
It's a portrait of Elizabeth,
and only Elizabeth.
508
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:16,723
Here we fucking go again.
509
00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:18,516
HART: Wait, you saw
that she was beautiful, right?
510
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:22,563
I mean, if not classically beautiful,
then, what's the right word...
511
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:26,567
Nice tits.
512
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:30,987
Small but very inviting.
513
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,072
[LAUGHS]
514
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:33,740
I wish I could paint her.
515
00:25:33,741 --> 00:25:37,953
That seems to me the most intimate way
of looking at a person.
516
00:25:37,954 --> 00:25:39,537
At the same time, the least sentimental.
517
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,415
To accurately reproduce
the planes of her face,
518
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:45,628
the two tiny freckles on her left cheek.
519
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:50,383
You look familiar.
I've seen your picture somewhere.
520
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:52,843
You're a writer?
521
00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:57,847
Well, then you will appreciate this story.
522
00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:59,766
Because it concerns the...
523
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:00,851
[HART EXHALES]
524
00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:04,188
Ineffable?
525
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:07,107
That's the perfect word.
526
00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,818
Christ! You're E.B. White!
You're "Andy" White!
527
00:26:09,819 --> 00:26:10,778
[SPUTTERS]
528
00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:15,991
I cannot tell you
how much I enjoy your essays.
529
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,451
Nothing has given me more pleasure.
530
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:20,870
- I'm in love with your language.
- Thank you.
531
00:26:20,871 --> 00:26:22,163
I'm in love with your punctuation.
532
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:23,832
You can't move a single comma. Am I right?
533
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,251
I mean, you're a musician, White.
534
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:27,460
You're the musician.
535
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:32,048
You know, you, above all people,
will appreciate this story.
536
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:34,426
This girl, Elizabeth.
537
00:26:34,427 --> 00:26:37,220
I... I can't do my act for her.
You know what I mean?
538
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:40,265
She wouldn't be interested.
She never asks me about me.
539
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:43,268
Never. And it isn't so much indifference,
I think,
540
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:44,936
as much as we both recognize
541
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,105
that she's legitimately
more interesting than I am.
542
00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:48,898
And I genuinely mean that.
543
00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:50,817
Did you guys see her hair?
544
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:54,571
That's what I first noticed when
she walked into the theater last July.
545
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:57,700
It was as if she were breathing
different air than I was.
546
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,869
- I like that.
- HART: I'm telling you, White,
547
00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:03,246
she would make a great musical!
548
00:27:03,247 --> 00:27:06,666
And not one goddamn corn stalk
in the whole show!
549
00:27:06,667 --> 00:27:09,502
And, hey, fellas, just for the record,
550
00:27:09,503 --> 00:27:12,839
"The corn is as high as an elephant's eye"
551
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:17,177
is the stupidest lyric in the history
of American songwriting.
552
00:27:17,178 --> 00:27:19,721
Yes, it makes perfect sense,
and, yes, it scans,
553
00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:23,767
but the image of an Oklahoma cornfield
554
00:27:23,768 --> 00:27:26,644
with a fucking elephant
standing in the middle of it?
555
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,189
- I like elephants.
- Yeah, we all like elephants, Eddie.
556
00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,107
Look, Andy, I need you to see this.
557
00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:32,817
I'm listening to her talk,
558
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,903
but I couldn't tell you
a single word she said
559
00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:36,946
'cause all I'm really thinking is,
560
00:27:36,947 --> 00:27:39,616
"Wait till you feel the warmth
of her glance,
561
00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:42,494
"pensive and sweet and wise."
562
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:46,790
I was writing about her
when I wrote that lyric.
563
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:50,669
Three perfect words, in the perfect order.
564
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:55,548
And, you tell me, what other lyricist
could've gotten away with "pensive"?
565
00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:56,634
What song was that?
566
00:27:57,301 --> 00:27:59,427
Just telling you,
when I'm good, I'm really good.
567
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:01,971
Just the sound of it!
That's what a writer does.
568
00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:06,977
We wear our vulnerability like a cloak
for all the world to witness.
569
00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:09,187
I like the word "cloak."
570
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,148
That's 'cause it's an antique like us.
571
00:28:11,899 --> 00:28:13,234
Can I get you another drink?
572
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:15,735
[INHALES DEEPLY]
573
00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:16,861
Sure. Why not?
574
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:19,155
I can think of a thousand reasons why not,
575
00:28:19,156 --> 00:28:21,408
but they can't compete
with the reasons why.
576
00:28:21,409 --> 00:28:24,119
Eddie, pass the Lord
and praise the house physician!
577
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,539
Another round! Just a little, just...
578
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:32,252
You know what I loved in that essay
you wrote about Florida?
579
00:28:32,253 --> 00:28:33,337
That line.
580
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:39,217
"The sea answers all questions
and always the same way...
581
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:41,636
"'So soon?'" [EXHALES]
582
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:43,138
Jesus.
583
00:28:43,139 --> 00:28:47,017
To take a sound
and transform it into what?
584
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,229
A sigh of eternity.
585
00:28:51,439 --> 00:28:52,898
My diminutive gift.
586
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:59,529
To the poetry that pours down on us
from a thousand unexpected sources.
587
00:28:59,530 --> 00:29:00,948
To your poetry.
588
00:29:01,824 --> 00:29:02,783
HART: Hmm.
589
00:29:06,996 --> 00:29:09,914
Look, she's 20, I'm 47.
590
00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:12,876
Let's discuss this
like two sensible alcoholics. [CHUCKLES]
591
00:29:12,877 --> 00:29:16,754
It was in the beginning,
everything was exactly as it seemed.
592
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,674
I was her mentor,
and I suppose I was, you know,
593
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:22,093
the "grand old man" of the theater
in her eyes.
594
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:24,846
I'm over at the Shubert
rehearsing By Jupiter,
595
00:29:24,847 --> 00:29:26,973
the show is a holy mess.
596
00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:29,267
And I'm having this debate
with Johnny Green
597
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,060
about the lyrics
to Give My Regards to Broadway.
598
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:35,398
I remember, as a kid,
falling in love with that song.
599
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:38,401
[SINGING] Give my regards to old Broadway
600
00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:41,154
And say that I'll be there 'ere long
601
00:29:41,155 --> 00:29:44,115
I knew instantly, even as a kid,
602
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:47,994
that what gave that line its speed,
its inevitability, was the inner rhyme.
603
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:50,747
And not just the "there, 'ere."
But the other one. The "way, say."
604
00:29:50,748 --> 00:29:52,499
The line should logically be,
605
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:55,335
"Give my regards to old Broadway
and tell them that I'll be there."
606
00:29:55,336 --> 00:29:58,005
But to change the verb to "say,"
607
00:29:59,423 --> 00:30:00,633
it made all the difference.
608
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:02,967
Knuckles, do you know any Cohan?
609
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:04,636
[MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
610
00:30:04,637 --> 00:30:08,681
[SINGING] Over there!
Over there!
611
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:12,602
Send the word, send the word
Over there
612
00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:17,190
That the Yanks are coming!
The Yanks are coming!
613
00:30:17,191 --> 00:30:21,152
The drum drum-drumming everywhere...
614
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:25,198
We'll be over
We're coming over!
615
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:30,036
And we won't come back
'till it's over, over there!
616
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:32,288
You know what the Yanks really sang
in the Great War?
617
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:35,584
"We won't come back.
We'll be buried over there!"
618
00:30:37,378 --> 00:30:38,629
And they were.
619
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:43,300
Total number of deaths in the Great War,
37 million.
620
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:49,097
I think maybe the adjective "great"
should never precede the word "war."
621
00:30:49,098 --> 00:30:51,015
- Amen to that.
- [EDDIE SCOFFS]
622
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:54,143
What does God think
when he looks down on his creation
623
00:30:54,144 --> 00:30:56,312
and sees that under
the noblest of motives,
624
00:30:56,313 --> 00:30:59,232
we sent 37 million people to their grave?
625
00:30:59,233 --> 00:31:01,986
That's why it's raining all the time.
God is weeping.
626
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:04,779
Well, I'm a patriot. I am.
627
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,906
I mean, you're a soldier. God bless you.
628
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:09,450
But how many are going to die
this time around?
629
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:11,370
Will we even be able
to put a number on it?
630
00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:14,831
I'm on leave. Taking care of my mother.
631
00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,541
She's more terrified than I am.
632
00:31:16,542 --> 00:31:17,834
HART: When do you ship out?
633
00:31:17,835 --> 00:31:21,171
In two weeks, they're sending me back
to that hotbed of enemy activity.
634
00:31:22,006 --> 00:31:23,339
Bradley Beach, New Jersey.
635
00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:25,258
I'm teaching Morse code
at the Hotel Grossman.
636
00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:29,554
Bradley Beach, where enemy agents
stroll the boardwalk
637
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:32,890
disguised as elderly Jewish women in furs.
638
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:33,975
I used to play hide the sausage
639
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:35,852
- with a girl from Bradley Beach.
- [CHUCKLES]
640
00:31:35,853 --> 00:31:36,937
- Oh, yeah?
- [CHUCKLES]
641
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:40,064
Did you read that piece
in Life about Guadalcanal?
642
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:42,191
- HART: Mm-mm.
- How before the battle,
643
00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:44,277
the soldiers were skipping
silver dollars in the water
644
00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:45,613
instead of stones
645
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:48,324
'cause they knew
they were never coming back.
646
00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,828
I couldn't enlist. My eyes.
647
00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:55,873
What's the matter? They open?
648
00:31:57,499 --> 00:32:00,668
Speaking of people
who are not coming back,
649
00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:02,254
I would like you to read this.
650
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,506
It's from the By Jupiter playbill.
651
00:32:11,180 --> 00:32:12,181
Out loud!
652
00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:18,269
Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
653
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,729
"Rodgers and Hart,
654
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,732
"they're as different as a dachshund
and a dromedary.
655
00:32:22,399 --> 00:32:26,028
"One likes opera and home life,
the other goes for night clubs and people.
656
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,196
"One is married and has two children,
657
00:32:28,197 --> 00:32:30,281
"the other is single
and supports bartenders."
658
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:31,784
You're welcome, Eddie.
659
00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:35,703
ANDY: "The little fella,
that's Larry, smokes cigars,
660
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:38,373
"big, black, small, brown, any kind.
661
00:32:38,374 --> 00:32:41,043
"While Dick, that's Rodgers,
only uses cigarettes.
662
00:32:41,627 --> 00:32:45,546
"One goes to bed about 4:30 every morning,
the other never dissipates."
663
00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:47,800
HART: Perfect verb, right?
ANDY: Mmm.
664
00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:51,094
"Despite their physical
and temperamental differences, however,
665
00:32:51,095 --> 00:32:53,806
"their intellects complement each other
like ham and eggs.
666
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,433
"Their individual songs
number well over a thousand."
667
00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:58,519
A thousand songs?
668
00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,354
ANDY: "They disagree violently,
but they never fight,
669
00:33:01,355 --> 00:33:04,440
"and in the 20-odd years
they've been practicing their craft,
670
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,609
"they have never worked with anyone
but each other..."
671
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:07,695
Until now. [CHUCKLES]
672
00:33:08,946 --> 00:33:10,114
Impressive.
673
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:11,989
I wrote it myself.
674
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:16,161
And not one single mention
of Blue fucking Moon.
675
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:21,290
I sent Elizabeth some of my sheet music.
No response. I don't get it.
676
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:22,375
She's a bitch.
677
00:33:22,376 --> 00:33:25,002
HART: That's what they're gonna put
on my tombstone.
678
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:28,382
- "She's a bitch"?
- "Lorenz Milton Hart.
679
00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:30,091
"He didn't get it."
680
00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:32,009
And people will come to my gravesite
and say, "You know what?
681
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,387
- "I didn't get it either."
- I definitely didn't get it.
682
00:33:34,388 --> 00:33:37,724
- Hey, Larr, I get it!
- HART: So, listen.
683
00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:40,143
Elizabeth and I had a weekend.
684
00:33:40,144 --> 00:33:41,686
- We actually did.
- [MORTY PLAYS PIANO]
685
00:33:41,687 --> 00:33:46,065
One passionate, transcendent weekend,
end of last summer
686
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:47,735
before she went back to Yale.
687
00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:54,157
It's the closest I've ever felt in my life
to pure selflessness.
688
00:33:54,158 --> 00:33:56,534
It was nuanced, it was deep.
689
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,327
How deep exactly?
690
00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,830
Listen, clown. I met her,
691
00:34:00,831 --> 00:34:04,209
and the first thing I said to her was,
"Excuse me,
692
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:08,087
"but you have the best style of anyone
in this theater."
693
00:34:08,088 --> 00:34:09,422
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS]
694
00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,466
I wish I had a photograph
of that moment.
695
00:34:11,467 --> 00:34:15,052
I wish I had a photograph
of every moment I've spent with her.
696
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:16,053
[SUCKS TEETH]
697
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:20,434
I'm having trouble getting this right.
I'm trying to pin down...
698
00:34:21,435 --> 00:34:23,687
Oh, Andy, help me. What's the right word?
699
00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:25,396
Enchantment?
700
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,731
[SNAPS FINGERS]
701
00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:28,400
And you know how hard that is.
702
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:32,862
I couldn't believe that it was me
she wanted to talk to.
703
00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:34,655
I kept looking around the theater,
704
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:36,949
there must be somebody else
she's interested in.
705
00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:40,411
But no! She's plunking herself down
in the theater seat right next to me,
706
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:43,664
as close as modesty will allow.
707
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:46,751
And my heart is actually racing.
708
00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:50,171
And I don't ever feel this way,
not for men or for women.
709
00:34:50,172 --> 00:34:55,092
But she's wearing this yellow sundress,
710
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,845
and it is hot in the theater.
711
00:34:57,846 --> 00:34:59,889
And she's talking to me for hours.
712
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:03,059
Bare leg draped over the armrest.
713
00:35:03,060 --> 00:35:05,603
And I know this sounds like
I'm some middle-aged putz
714
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,146
with a crush on a pretty co-ed,
715
00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:09,106
and maybe that's what it is.
716
00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,359
But you know something?
717
00:35:10,943 --> 00:35:15,446
Maybe that's not what it is. [CHUCKLES]
718
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,534
Sometimes I feel... and don't laugh,
719
00:35:19,201 --> 00:35:23,705
after a lifetime of blindly colliding
into strangers,
720
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,041
we've finally found a friend.
721
00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:29,628
Maybe that's the definition
of enchantment.
722
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,840
One light-filled weekend!
723
00:35:33,841 --> 00:35:36,801
I've got to finish telling you this
before she comes back.
724
00:35:36,802 --> 00:35:38,302
Are you listening to me?
725
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,096
Yeah, she got her legs draped over
the thing.
726
00:35:40,097 --> 00:35:42,807
It was as if all the love lyrics
I had ever written
727
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:47,061
had, like, some sort of verbal ectoplasm,
suddenly taken human form.
728
00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:48,145
- Ecto what?
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
729
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:49,230
That might be her mother.
730
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:50,774
She cannot hear this.
731
00:35:51,859 --> 00:35:52,984
EDDIE: What about me?
732
00:35:52,985 --> 00:35:54,610
You're just an extra.
733
00:35:54,611 --> 00:35:56,195
Okay, but I still get paid, right?
734
00:35:56,196 --> 00:35:57,948
- HART: Absolutely.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
735
00:35:58,991 --> 00:36:01,577
It's important to me
that I nail this down.
736
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,704
It was a boiling hot summer weekend,
737
00:36:04,705 --> 00:36:08,332
and I asked, with all the casualness
I could counterfeit,
738
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:11,961
if she'd like to, you know,
escape the heat of the city,
739
00:36:11,962 --> 00:36:14,672
spend the weekend with me
on Lake Dunmore in Vermont.
740
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:18,426
And without a moment's hesitation
she said,
741
00:36:18,427 --> 00:36:19,802
[IMITATES ELIZABETH]
"I'd love to, Larry."
742
00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:21,012
[LAUGHS]
743
00:36:21,013 --> 00:36:23,973
Oh, I'm telling you, Andy,
this is my type of girl.
744
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,309
I'm sorry, excuse me, I'm babbling,
745
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:31,772
but how else do you describe
the actual present tense
746
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:33,358
of falling in love?
747
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:35,819
Is that what this is?
748
00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:40,406
Maybe. I mean, I haven't done
anything wrong, okay?
749
00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:44,368
I haven't violated the Mann Act
or even the Middle-Aged Man Act.
750
00:36:44,369 --> 00:36:46,329
I bought her this painting
of Lake Dunmore,
751
00:36:46,330 --> 00:36:48,247
bought it off this old salt Vermonter.
752
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:51,208
I bought it so that she might remember.
753
00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,253
I once did a little canoeing
up around there.
754
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:55,589
- Hey, Larry!
- [CHUCKLES]
755
00:36:58,383 --> 00:36:59,467
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
756
00:36:59,468 --> 00:37:00,552
And then?
757
00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:04,306
Act Three. Later that day,
758
00:37:05,015 --> 00:37:06,724
she's in the warmth of the cabin.
759
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:10,102
There's a pennant from Fort Ticonderoga
pinned to the wall.
760
00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:14,774
She's wearing this blue men's work shirt
with the sleeves rolled up.
761
00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:18,569
All of her suddenly available to me,
762
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:22,406
this gift of youth and brain
763
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,116
and clavicle.
764
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:26,453
I touched her shoulder,
765
00:37:27,621 --> 00:37:30,247
and as some hack once scribbled,
766
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,209
"My heart stood still."
767
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:36,213
She took my hand and said, "Larry,
768
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,758
"let's save this for another day."
769
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,885
And all I can tell you, my friend,
770
00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:48,809
is there is a real possibility
that tonight is "another day."
771
00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:51,853
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
772
00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:54,230
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
773
00:37:54,231 --> 00:37:57,566
WEEGEE: Clearing back a little bit.
Ladies, beautiful, beautiful!
774
00:37:57,567 --> 00:37:58,651
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
775
00:37:58,652 --> 00:38:01,405
Rodgers! Rodgers!
776
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:03,073
Yeah, beautiful!
777
00:38:03,824 --> 00:38:04,825
Okay.
778
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:06,618
- I appreciate that. Thanks.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
779
00:38:06,827 --> 00:38:07,952
Hey, thank you so much.
780
00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,453
I appreciate it. Thank you.
781
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:10,539
MAN: Bravo!
782
00:38:12,374 --> 00:38:14,542
- OSCAR: Thank you so much.
- [PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
783
00:38:14,543 --> 00:38:17,462
Now, time for the real performance
of the evening.
784
00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:26,220
[BREATH TREMBLING]
785
00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:28,682
Eddie, Eddie. Eddie, get rid of this!
786
00:38:33,228 --> 00:38:34,478
Hey.
787
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:35,813
So, did he fuck her or not?
788
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,273
He thinks tonight might be the night.
789
00:38:37,274 --> 00:38:41,278
Oh... Larry. Larry, Larry.
790
00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:43,780
What do you think she sees in him?
791
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:47,451
I think she sees a rich and famous guy
who can help her career.
792
00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:51,162
I think she recognizes she's being adored
793
00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:53,957
by one of the great appreciators
of beauty.
794
00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:57,002
- You know what else I think?
- ANDY: Yeah?
795
00:38:57,919 --> 00:39:00,171
I think she is wearing
a grape-colored brassiere.
796
00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:03,091
All right, Rodgers.
Gentlemen, please let's get one.
797
00:39:03,967 --> 00:39:06,428
Beautiful. Come on. All right, big smile!
798
00:39:07,304 --> 00:39:09,388
- Beautiful.
- Dick! Dick!
799
00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:13,142
My God!
The show is going to run 20 years!
800
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:15,936
It's going to be bigger
than Abie's Irish Rose!
801
00:39:15,937 --> 00:39:18,773
- We'll see.
- And much more goyish, so it can tour.
802
00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:20,608
[CHUCKLES] Well, thanks for coming, Larry.
803
00:39:20,609 --> 00:39:22,234
- Oh, Oscar!
- Larry.
804
00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:25,071
You get taller
every time I see you. [LAUGHS]
805
00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:27,865
What can I say? The lyrics are brilliant.
806
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:31,494
Poetic when they need to be poetic,
funny when they need to be funny.
807
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:34,914
Not a rhyme out of place, easy on the ear.
808
00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:38,042
[SINGING] I'm just a fool
when lights are low
809
00:39:38,043 --> 00:39:40,753
Perfect! [CLAPS AND LAUGHS]
Did you hear me applauding?
810
00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:42,880
I think you were the loudest person
in the entire theater!
811
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:45,674
That's because I loved it more than
anyone else in the entire theater!
812
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:47,676
- Let me get you boys a drink.
- RODGERS: Oh, no, thank you.
813
00:39:47,677 --> 00:39:49,887
- Um...
- Larry, you got two minutes?
814
00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,138
Give us a minute.
815
00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:52,390
Excuse us, Oscar.
816
00:39:57,604 --> 00:39:58,605
Um...
817
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:01,315
So, uh, Dwight Wiman and I
818
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:03,234
have been talking about bringing back
A Connecticut Yankee.
819
00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:04,318
HART: Terrific!
820
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:06,946
Yeah, I'm thinking of asking
Vivienne Segal.
821
00:40:06,947 --> 00:40:09,949
Oh! Mein Gott! Oh, it's gonna run longer
than Oklahoma!
822
00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:11,659
I'll buy 50 seats myself.
823
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:14,537
I've got a new title,
[IN SING-SONG VOICE] Ohh, Camelot!
824
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:15,788
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
825
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:17,706
Well, I think we're gonna stick with
A Connecticut Yankee.
826
00:40:17,707 --> 00:40:19,500
Camelot Exclamation Point?
827
00:40:19,501 --> 00:40:21,502
[CHUCKLES] Okay, come on.
I'm being serious here.
828
00:40:21,503 --> 00:40:24,004
I'm always serious.
That's why people find me so funny.
829
00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:26,799
So I was thinking, if you feel
up to working, then maybe...
830
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,509
- I've never felt better in my life, Dick.
- Congratulations, Dick.
831
00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:32,012
I don't want to bother you.
I just... We all just loved it.
832
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:33,347
- RODGERS: Oh, you did?
- It's going to be a big hit.
833
00:40:33,348 --> 00:40:34,640
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate that.
834
00:40:34,641 --> 00:40:36,142
- It's Gladys, right? Yes.
- Yes! Yeah.
835
00:40:36,143 --> 00:40:38,270
Yes, nice to see you. Um...
836
00:40:40,230 --> 00:40:43,649
Yeah, I was... I was thinking, um,
not just a revival,
837
00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:44,942
I was thinking a whole new book.
838
00:40:44,943 --> 00:40:47,529
We were thinking four or five new numbers.
839
00:40:48,530 --> 00:40:49,572
That I write?
840
00:40:49,573 --> 00:40:51,365
Of course, that you write.
That we write together.
841
00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:53,868
It's been 16 years, you know that,
since we did that show?
842
00:40:53,869 --> 00:40:57,246
- It needs updating, don't you think?
- [LAUGHS] 1927! The Vanderbilt!
843
00:40:57,247 --> 00:40:59,748
Yeah, it can be the new
Rodgers and Hart show for the fall.
844
00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:01,917
- New gags, new songs.
- New references.
845
00:41:01,918 --> 00:41:03,878
[GASPS] We'll satirize the whole war.
846
00:41:03,879 --> 00:41:05,838
Rationing, rubber drives, nylon drives,
847
00:41:05,839 --> 00:41:07,840
a new number for Vivienne.
848
00:41:07,841 --> 00:41:08,966
- Go easy with the satire, Larry.
- Very nice job.
849
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:10,092
- Hello, nice to see you.
- FAN: Very nice piece.
850
00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:11,177
Appreciate it. Thank you.
851
00:41:11,178 --> 00:41:13,971
[SINGING] There came a lull
then Cordell Hull sent orders from above
852
00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:17,766
I'm sorry, girls, put down your pearls
'Cause now we're rationing love
853
00:41:17,767 --> 00:41:19,268
And how do we get Cordell Hull
into Camelot?
854
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:20,352
Who cares? It's funny!
855
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,230
Dick! From the New York Journal-American.
856
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:27,443
"As enchanting to the eye
as Richard Rodgers' music is to the ear."
857
00:41:27,444 --> 00:41:28,527
- Okay.
- Yeah, it's nice.
858
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:29,695
That's good. Good start.
859
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,780
So, uh, are you up for that?
Are you feeling healthy?
860
00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:33,449
Is that something
you could take seriously?
861
00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:36,243
Yeah. I'm on the wagon, Dick. I'm serious.
862
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:39,246
[SPUTTERS] Been drinking ginger ale
all night.
863
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:42,750
Well, except for this second
'cause this second we have to celebrate.
864
00:41:42,751 --> 00:41:45,878
This is the greatest musical
in the history of American theater.
865
00:41:45,879 --> 00:41:48,172
No, no. I'm not drinking with you, Larry.
866
00:41:48,173 --> 00:41:49,757
Okay, okay, all right.
867
00:41:49,758 --> 00:41:51,801
Weegee! Weegee! Shoot this!
868
00:41:53,053 --> 00:41:55,054
- What? Oh, no. Larry, I got to...
- No, no, no. Hey.
869
00:41:55,055 --> 00:41:57,224
Rodgers and Hart, together again!
870
00:41:57,849 --> 00:41:59,851
WEEGEE: All right, closer!
Come on, closer!
871
00:42:03,438 --> 00:42:04,647
I want ten copies of that.
872
00:42:04,648 --> 00:42:06,482
Great. Write me a check.
873
00:42:06,483 --> 00:42:07,900
Yeah.
874
00:42:07,901 --> 00:42:09,276
So, you... you think you're up to that?
875
00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,403
It's the best idea I've heard in 16 years.
876
00:42:11,404 --> 00:42:16,075
At the same time, I think we should be
dreaming about something completely new.
877
00:42:16,076 --> 00:42:17,201
Don't you agree?
878
00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,328
New Rodgers and Hart,
something people haven't seen before.
879
00:42:19,329 --> 00:42:20,413
Something big!
880
00:42:20,997 --> 00:42:22,331
Let's start with the revival first.
881
00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:24,625
- Absolutely.
- We'll take it one step at a time...
882
00:42:24,626 --> 00:42:26,043
- Yeah, but...
- ...because I really think
883
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:27,544
- Hear me out.
- ...we can have a future together.
884
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:29,464
Who doesn't think that?
885
00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:34,760
But I want to be one of those composers
who works with, uh, you know,
886
00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:35,844
other lyricists.
887
00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,596
Like Arlen, Kern. You love Kern.
888
00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,223
I love Kern. I wanted to be Kern.
889
00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:40,975
But we have to work
like professionals, Larry.
890
00:42:40,976 --> 00:42:42,518
Since when haven't I worked
like a professional?
891
00:42:42,519 --> 00:42:45,437
I want to work at specific times
in the morning, at my office.
892
00:42:45,438 --> 00:42:47,982
- I want to adhere to a schedule.
- Yeah. That's what we do.
893
00:42:47,983 --> 00:42:49,566
I don't want to spend any more time
looking for you, Larry.
894
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,235
- Well, I'm right here. Small as life!
- You know what I mean.
895
00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:52,736
I don't want to be calling up your mother
896
00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:54,196
at nine o'clock in the morning, so that,
897
00:42:54,197 --> 00:42:55,656
maybe, you might
roll out of bed at noon. Right?
898
00:42:55,657 --> 00:42:57,574
- Dick...
- I just don't want to do what we did.
899
00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:59,076
That's all I'm saying.
900
00:42:59,077 --> 00:43:00,620
It's a business, that's all.
901
00:43:01,454 --> 00:43:02,913
Maybe I shouldn't bring it up tonight,
but I don't know,
902
00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:04,623
- I wanted... I wanted to...
- All I want is to...
903
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:06,292
FAN 1: That was your best one yet.
904
00:43:06,293 --> 00:43:07,918
- Really.
- All right, thank you.
905
00:43:07,919 --> 00:43:09,336
- Who is that?
- All I want is to write a show
906
00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:10,588
we both love.
907
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:14,091
Yeah, I feel the same way.
908
00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:16,719
Dick! Burns Mantle just called it
909
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:20,597
"The most thoroughly and attractively
American musical comedy
910
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:21,682
"since Show Boat."
911
00:43:21,683 --> 00:43:22,891
- Since Show Boat?
- Yeah.
912
00:43:22,892 --> 00:43:24,852
Wow. That's good.
913
00:43:24,853 --> 00:43:26,855
- FAN 2: Truly spectacular.
- Thank you, nice to see you.
914
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,273
I have to fall in love with a show, Dick.
915
00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:31,692
I have to want to write that show
more than anything in the world,
916
00:43:31,693 --> 00:43:35,571
to be in that audience,
sitting there not missing a single word.
917
00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:37,364
All right, well, we start with
A Connecticut Yankee,
918
00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:39,408
- four or five numbers, and we go...
- Okay, look.
919
00:43:39,409 --> 00:43:42,244
Here's what I'm thinking.
The Adventures of Marco Polo.
920
00:43:42,245 --> 00:43:44,455
Dick, Dick! Wonderful show.
921
00:43:44,456 --> 00:43:46,373
Oh, thank you so much. Nice to see you.
922
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:48,959
Just... just big. Bigger than Jumbo. Epic.
923
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,045
A three-ring musical circus.
924
00:43:51,046 --> 00:43:53,589
The show lasts four hours
with a dinner break!
925
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:58,469
It's grand comic opera.
And the stage set is the world!
926
00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:01,013
- Uh-huh.
- We satirize everybody.
927
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:03,098
And you get to satirize them musically.
928
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,601
We send up every national musical cliche
there is.
929
00:44:05,602 --> 00:44:08,187
[IN FRENCH ACCENT] The France number,
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT] the Italian number,
930
00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:10,189
[IN DEEP VOICE] when they get
to the Heart of Darkness,
931
00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:13,025
the cannibals are doing Porgy and Bess.
Boom, boom.
932
00:44:13,026 --> 00:44:15,569
[SINGING] Bess, you is my dinner now!
933
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:16,653
Jesus, Larry. Come on.
934
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,531
[IN NORMAL VOICE] This show is going
to have the scope of a novel.
935
00:44:19,532 --> 00:44:23,077
It will be the greatest challenge
you've ever had as a composer.
936
00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:27,081
And what grounds it all,
what lets the audience enter this story
937
00:44:27,082 --> 00:44:28,165
is the girl.
938
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,917
- Uh-huh.
- This ethereal girl
939
00:44:29,918 --> 00:44:32,086
whom Marco Polo has left behind.
940
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:34,421
She's half his age... [CHUCKLES]
941
00:44:34,422 --> 00:44:39,426
...but it's the first time he's felt
that inkling of love in years, maybe ever.
942
00:44:39,427 --> 00:44:40,969
He swears in the first scene.
943
00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:43,097
We set this up like Benedick
in Much Ado...
944
00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:45,349
- Right.
- He swears that he's beyond
945
00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:47,559
the reach of any woman. He scorns love.
946
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,561
And we do a whole number
satirizing love songs.
947
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:53,399
No. Larry, I want to write shows
that have some emotional core to them...
948
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,818
- Dick, great music. Great show!
- Hello, how are you?
949
00:44:55,819 --> 00:44:57,778
Thank you. I'll take that.
You're a tough critic.
950
00:44:57,779 --> 00:44:58,862
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
951
00:44:58,863 --> 00:45:02,074
Remember, we established
in the first scene that he's anti-love?
952
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,618
Then he meets the girl.
She's a sort of free-spirit,
953
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:08,414
Scandinavian-looking
with two freckles on her left cheek,
954
00:45:08,415 --> 00:45:10,082
- it's absurd. [LAUGHS]
- Don't do that.
955
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:13,043
She lives socially,
psychologically, sexually
956
00:45:13,044 --> 00:45:16,965
in another universe than he does,
but he is slain.
957
00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:22,636
He stands there paralyzed
in the light of her pale green eyes.
958
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:26,306
This is the greatest explorer
in the history of the world,
959
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:30,894
and none of it means anything to him
unless it's a way to make her see him.
960
00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:34,606
[CHUCKLES] That is the emotional core
of the story.
961
00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:36,316
- Okay.
- We take this legendary,
962
00:45:36,317 --> 00:45:37,526
larger-than-life man,
963
00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:39,153
and we make him bleed.
964
00:45:39,154 --> 00:45:43,532
Mr. Rodgers, my name is Robert Heffner.
I'm the Mayor of Oklahoma City.
965
00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:45,492
Eve and I have traveled
all the way to New York
966
00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:46,785
- just to see the show.
- Okay. You know...
967
00:45:46,786 --> 00:45:49,037
Welcome to New York.
We're finishing a conversation.
968
00:45:49,038 --> 00:45:51,540
He'll be with you in two minutes.
Does that sound good?
969
00:45:51,541 --> 00:45:54,001
Two minutes, I'll be right with you.
Thank you, I hope it was worth it.
970
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,295
- It certainly was.
- Good to see you. Thank you.
971
00:45:56,296 --> 00:45:57,963
All right, so come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
972
00:45:57,964 --> 00:46:00,717
And they end up together? Come on.
973
00:46:01,718 --> 00:46:04,678
That's what the audience
is waiting around to find out!
974
00:46:04,679 --> 00:46:06,472
That's the engine
that's driving the whole story.
975
00:46:06,473 --> 00:46:07,890
All right, well, look, Larry,
976
00:46:07,891 --> 00:46:09,308
if you're willing to write it,
977
00:46:09,309 --> 00:46:11,310
really write it,
and rewrite it, and rewrite it again,
978
00:46:11,311 --> 00:46:12,686
then, you know, it could work.
979
00:46:12,687 --> 00:46:15,230
But I'm not gonna beg you for this, Larry.
You know?
980
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,356
We work for 15 minutes,
981
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:17,733
you're out the door
looking for a cigar store.
982
00:46:17,734 --> 00:46:18,859
- It drives me...
- [LAUGHING] Okay.
983
00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:20,360
It drives me really crazy.
I don't like it.
984
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:22,529
- I don't want to do it anymore.
- We've worked like that for 24 years.
985
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:23,614
Congratulations, Dick!
986
00:46:23,615 --> 00:46:24,781
That's exactly what we've done
for 24 years.
987
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:26,450
- Thank you.
- About time the Guild had a goddamned hit.
988
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:28,410
Yeah. You're absolutely, absolutely right.
989
00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:30,579
Anyway, I'm not going to...
I'm not going to fight with you, Larry.
990
00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:32,581
- Who's fighting?
- I don't know.
991
00:46:32,582 --> 00:46:33,665
With a war on,
992
00:46:33,666 --> 00:46:36,668
do audiences really want to watch
cannibals singing Porgy and Bess?
993
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:38,504
And what do audiences want to watch?
994
00:46:38,505 --> 00:46:41,340
Cowboys a-whoopin'-it-up
at the box social?
995
00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:42,799
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
996
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,468
Well, yes. Apparently.
997
00:46:44,469 --> 00:46:45,802
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
998
00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:49,223
Oklahoma, exclamation point,
addresses the urgency of a nation at war.
999
00:46:49,224 --> 00:46:52,559
I think every serviceman
in that audience tonight
1000
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:53,894
thought about what we're fighting for,
1001
00:46:53,895 --> 00:46:55,646
even for a second or two,
he thought about it.
1002
00:46:55,647 --> 00:46:57,314
And what is it we're fighting for, exactly?
1003
00:46:57,315 --> 00:47:00,400
Feisty little girls in gingham dresses
who can't say no?
1004
00:47:00,401 --> 00:47:01,735
[HART LAUGHS]
1005
00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:04,154
- Okay. All right.
- Dick, Dick, Dick. Come on.
1006
00:47:04,155 --> 00:47:06,365
Just between you and me,
1007
00:47:06,366 --> 00:47:09,826
those characters are unrecognizable
as human beings.
1008
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:12,162
I think plenty of people recognized them.
They recognized love.
1009
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:13,664
He needs rescuing, big time.
1010
00:47:13,665 --> 00:47:16,708
They recognized, uh, family.
They recognized pride in their country.
1011
00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:18,877
You're starting to sound like
Yankee Doodle Dandy.
1012
00:47:18,878 --> 00:47:20,963
I think there's significantly more there
to recognize, Larry,
1013
00:47:20,964 --> 00:47:22,422
than a bunch of singing cannibals.
1014
00:47:22,423 --> 00:47:24,258
But cannibals are much funnier,
admit it.
1015
00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:26,009
OSCAR: Dick, you want to come
and read these!
1016
00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:27,594
- Yeah, hang on! Hang on. Be right there.
- HART: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1017
00:47:27,595 --> 00:47:30,347
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I know exactly what you mean.
1018
00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:32,307
Just tell me... What do you
really want to write?
1019
00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:34,142
What's your dream show?
1020
00:47:34,143 --> 00:47:35,227
- My dream show?
- Yeah.
1021
00:47:35,228 --> 00:47:36,521
Oklahoma!
1022
00:47:39,941 --> 00:47:40,942
I mean, next.
1023
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:46,614
Uh... We're talking about
getting the rights to Liliom.
1024
00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:49,491
- The Molnár play?
- Yeah.
1025
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,285
- That was cornball in 1909.
- Yeah?
1026
00:47:51,286 --> 00:47:53,495
You really want to write a musical
about a carnival barker
1027
00:47:53,496 --> 00:47:55,163
who beats up his girlfriend,
1028
00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:56,999
- dies, comes back...
- I think it'll work.
1029
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,585
Yeah, and at the end, all the dead people
could take off their halos and go,
1030
00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:01,169
"Oh... Purgatory!"
1031
00:48:01,170 --> 00:48:03,505
[LAUGHS] Look,
I will do it if you force me to.
1032
00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:04,923
- It's just in my heart of...
- No, I'm not forcing you to.
1033
00:48:04,924 --> 00:48:06,217
Oscar's going to do it.
1034
00:48:08,469 --> 00:48:11,556
What does Oscar know
about turn-of-the-century Budapest?
1035
00:48:12,390 --> 00:48:14,517
He's going to Americanize it.
1036
00:48:15,310 --> 00:48:16,728
He's going to modernize it.
1037
00:48:17,604 --> 00:48:18,771
We're going to set it in Maine.
1038
00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:22,524
Maine? Right, with all due respect,
modernizing Molnár
1039
00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:24,443
- is a deeply...
- You got to read this!
1040
00:48:24,444 --> 00:48:25,528
Is it the Times?
1041
00:48:26,321 --> 00:48:28,572
Burton Rascoe's World-Telegram review.
1042
00:48:28,573 --> 00:48:29,698
- It's a rave.
- RODGERS: Good.
1043
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,992
- We'll have the Times any moment.
- Okay.
1044
00:48:31,993 --> 00:48:33,869
Larry, I've got to go.
The Times is coming.
1045
00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:34,953
HART: Okay, okay.
1046
00:48:34,954 --> 00:48:37,122
- Wish me luck.
- Mazel tov!
1047
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:38,374
As they say in Maine.
1048
00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:40,626
[HART CHUCKLES]
1049
00:48:40,627 --> 00:48:42,919
WOMAN: Hey, Dick. That was perfect.
RODGERS: Oh, thank you.
1050
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,588
Nice to see you. Did you enjoy it?
1051
00:48:44,589 --> 00:48:46,382
[PLAYING PIANO]
1052
00:48:50,053 --> 00:48:51,721
[EXHALES]
1053
00:48:59,979 --> 00:49:04,024
What does Dick Rodgers know of Maine?
He was bar-mitzvahed for Christ's sake!
1054
00:49:04,025 --> 00:49:06,318
How long are they going to keep selling
that fairy tale?
1055
00:49:06,319 --> 00:49:09,237
"Have faith, have hope,
the dead will arise to comfort us!"
1056
00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:10,782
Like fuck they will.
1057
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:13,451
Give me another shot, Eddie. A real one.
1058
00:49:14,577 --> 00:49:15,620
[MOUTHS]
1059
00:49:16,329 --> 00:49:18,539
Join me for a shot, Andy? Please.
1060
00:49:21,751 --> 00:49:22,752
[HART SIGHS]
1061
00:49:23,503 --> 00:49:24,837
How ya holding up?
1062
00:49:25,797 --> 00:49:29,216
HART: You know how in a marriage they say
"for better or for worse"?
1063
00:49:29,217 --> 00:49:32,928
I think in terms of my life,
I've entered the "for worse" part.
1064
00:49:32,929 --> 00:49:37,391
And it happened so quietly
I didn't even recognize it.
1065
00:49:37,392 --> 00:49:38,685
Have you ever felt that way?
1066
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:41,062
Every day of my life.
1067
00:49:43,356 --> 00:49:44,815
[SOFTLY] Thank you.
1068
00:49:44,816 --> 00:49:46,983
Sometimes I think,
"Even God is finished with me."
1069
00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,568
I've had my hits,
1070
00:49:48,569 --> 00:49:51,697
I've loved a small,
dear collection of people.
1071
00:49:51,698 --> 00:49:53,657
And now he's turned the page.
1072
00:49:53,658 --> 00:49:55,827
[CHUCKLES] I feel superannuated.
1073
00:49:56,661 --> 00:49:59,204
"Superannuated."
That's a good thing, isn't it?
1074
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,957
It means your dick doesn't work.
1075
00:50:02,709 --> 00:50:04,627
- Must be why I don't know that word.
- HART: Hmm.
1076
00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:09,298
Put me on the list.
1077
00:50:10,383 --> 00:50:11,426
[CHUCKLES]
1078
00:50:20,226 --> 00:50:22,395
You notice the birds
are back in Central Park?
1079
00:50:23,563 --> 00:50:26,314
Hmm. What are you working on these days?
1080
00:50:26,315 --> 00:50:27,942
Children's book.
1081
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:31,069
Must have burned myself out
writing those essays,
1082
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,155
it's not going well.
1083
00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:34,698
I think, as far as my writing goes,
1084
00:50:34,699 --> 00:50:36,533
I've also entered the "for worse" part.
1085
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:38,785
HART: [CHUCKLES]
What's your story about?
1086
00:50:38,786 --> 00:50:40,204
I wish I knew.
1087
00:50:41,539 --> 00:50:43,291
The journey everybody takes?
1088
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,087
Searching for what's perfect
and unattainable?
1089
00:50:48,838 --> 00:50:49,881
The ineffable!
1090
00:50:50,465 --> 00:50:53,508
Probably too elusive an idea
to put into a children's book.
1091
00:50:53,509 --> 00:50:54,969
I have a line for you.
1092
00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:59,931
"He chased her around the bed all night
before concluding
1093
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,308
"she was ineffable."
1094
00:51:01,309 --> 00:51:03,019
Sure you don't mean "uneffable"?
1095
00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,396
[CLICKS TONGUE] Better.
1096
00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:07,356
[HART CHUCKLES]
1097
00:51:08,191 --> 00:51:09,483
You know, I'm in the park every morning,
1098
00:51:09,484 --> 00:51:11,943
liberating this mouse
I keep catching in my kitchen.
1099
00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:14,696
- Yeah?
- I have this little glass box
1100
00:51:14,697 --> 00:51:17,532
that captures the mouse
but doesn't kill him.
1101
00:51:17,533 --> 00:51:19,701
And every morning I walk into my kitchen,
1102
00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:21,912
and there he is,
at the bottom of the refrigerator.
1103
00:51:21,913 --> 00:51:25,832
My little brown mouse,
happily eating the cracker I left for him.
1104
00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:28,210
And every morning,
I carry him down to the park,
1105
00:51:28,211 --> 00:51:31,713
open the box. He leaps out ten feet,
scurries into the underbrush.
1106
00:51:31,714 --> 00:51:34,633
And then the next morning, I'll be damned,
1107
00:51:34,634 --> 00:51:36,802
he is back in the box!
1108
00:51:36,803 --> 00:51:38,470
How do you know it's the same mouse?
1109
00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:39,554
Well, he certainly looks the same.
1110
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:43,935
He has that same New York look
of doomed hopefulness.
1111
00:51:44,977 --> 00:51:48,105
But how does he get up the 19 floors?
1112
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:50,774
Maybe he's tipping the doorman.
1113
00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:51,943
[HART CHUCKLES]
1114
00:51:53,528 --> 00:51:55,279
You know, this morning he wasn't there.
1115
00:51:55,947 --> 00:51:59,116
Just the cracker lying in the box.
1116
00:52:00,201 --> 00:52:02,118
I actually missed the little fella,
I really did.
1117
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:04,412
I think I've started to identify with him.
1118
00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:06,290
Does he have a name?
1119
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:09,042
I'm calling him Stuart.
1120
00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:11,212
- [CHUCKLES]
- With a "W" or a "U"?
1121
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:16,842
Hmm. A "U." Nothing fancy.
Just a regular middle-class mouse.
1122
00:52:16,843 --> 00:52:18,928
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1123
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,889
I think you'll have to excuse me.
1124
00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:26,185
All this jubilation
has gone to my bladder.
1125
00:52:29,313 --> 00:52:32,065
LANGNER: "Agnes de Mille
works small miracles
1126
00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:36,361
"and devising original dances
that fit the story and the tunes.
1127
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,530
"Oklahoma! is fresh..."
1128
00:52:38,531 --> 00:52:40,740
- Okay, I got something funny.
- Hmm.
1129
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:43,243
What do you call a tired homosexual?
1130
00:52:43,244 --> 00:52:45,246
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- I don't know.
1131
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:48,708
Fuck, I forgot.
1132
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,793
That's really funny.
1133
00:52:51,294 --> 00:52:52,169
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1134
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,464
LANGNER: "The play's spine-tingling,
out of this world!"
1135
00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:58,384
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1136
00:53:01,429 --> 00:53:02,430
[TOILET FLUSHING]
1137
00:53:04,432 --> 00:53:07,894
HART: You know, when Atkinson wrote that
review for Pal Joey, you remember that?
1138
00:53:08,561 --> 00:53:10,729
"Drab and mirthless.
1139
00:53:10,730 --> 00:53:14,317
"Can one draw sweet water
from a foul well?"
1140
00:53:15,401 --> 00:53:18,653
I cried. [CHUCKLES] That's how hurt I was.
1141
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:22,324
I cried in Vivienne Segal's arms.
1142
00:53:22,325 --> 00:53:23,825
She hugged me and said,
1143
00:53:23,826 --> 00:53:27,537
"History is going to prove him wrong,
darling."
1144
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,456
Wasn't that
the sweetest thing in the world
1145
00:53:29,457 --> 00:53:30,708
for someone to say?
1146
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,045
And she actually calls me "darling." Hmph.
1147
00:53:34,629 --> 00:53:36,004
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Wow.
1148
00:53:36,005 --> 00:53:37,339
Time magazine wrote,
1149
00:53:37,340 --> 00:53:39,549
"For those who can park their morals
in the lobby,
1150
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,177
"Pal Joey is a wow."
1151
00:53:42,178 --> 00:53:44,639
What kind of piece-of-shit praise is that?
1152
00:53:46,432 --> 00:53:49,434
- [SNIFFLES] I'm talking about Pal Joey.
- Right.
1153
00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:50,645
I didn't see that one.
1154
00:53:51,270 --> 00:53:54,565
Wolcott Gibbs, he loved the show.
1155
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:57,692
He said it was,
"A song and dance production
1156
00:53:57,693 --> 00:54:01,279
"with living three-dimensional figures,
1157
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:04,866
"talking and behaving like human beings."
1158
00:54:04,867 --> 00:54:07,203
- Ah, see? There you go.
- Mmm-hmm.
1159
00:54:08,412 --> 00:54:10,622
You're still going to introduce me
to Rodgers tonight, right?
1160
00:54:10,623 --> 00:54:13,875
Urination for me
has turned into a two-act play
1161
00:54:13,876 --> 00:54:15,251
with a brief intermission.
1162
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:17,046
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1163
00:54:18,798 --> 00:54:23,427
Oh, I love Vivienne. God help me. [LAUGHS]
1164
00:54:24,095 --> 00:54:25,554
Her compassion.
1165
00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:28,057
Oh, did I tell you she calls me "darling"?
1166
00:54:28,975 --> 00:54:31,351
We were up at the Starlight Roof.
1167
00:54:31,352 --> 00:54:36,523
I turned to her and I said,
"Vivienne, will you please marry me?"
1168
00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:39,317
That's what I told her. Right to her face.
1169
00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:42,989
Can you imagine having the courage
to say that to a woman?
1170
00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,032
I've never had the courage
to even dream of saying that.
1171
00:54:46,033 --> 00:54:47,617
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. It was a moment.
1172
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:52,665
Let me tell you. 2:00 a.m., the band
was playing I've Heard That Song Before.
1173
00:54:53,374 --> 00:54:56,419
She said, "I love you, darling,
1174
00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,713
"just not that way."
1175
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:03,426
"Not that way."
1176
00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:06,678
Three little words.
1177
00:55:06,679 --> 00:55:10,307
Ten little letters that mean,
1178
00:55:11,058 --> 00:55:13,894
"Game over, schmuck." [LAUGHS]
1179
00:55:14,770 --> 00:55:17,564
Ah, "Think it over," I told her.
1180
00:55:17,565 --> 00:55:21,818
I took her hand in mine,
her nail polish was pale gray...
1181
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:22,903
[DOOR CLOSES]
1182
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:31,494
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Now... I can drink.
1183
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:34,497
[ALL CHEERING]
1184
00:55:34,498 --> 00:55:38,334
May I remind everybody what Mike Todd
said about Oklahoma! in New Haven,
1185
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:41,713
- "No laughs, no tits, no chance"?
- [ALL LAUGHING]
1186
00:55:41,714 --> 00:55:45,051
We have a chance now.
All right, read that out. Okay, wow.
1187
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:48,803
LANGNER: Wonderful. This is what
Nichols said in the Times.
1188
00:55:48,804 --> 00:55:51,306
"Wonderful is the nearest adjective,
1189
00:55:51,307 --> 00:55:53,349
"for this excursion of the Guild
1190
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:57,312
"combines a fresh and infectious gaiety,
a charm of manner,
1191
00:55:57,313 --> 00:55:59,773
"beautiful acting, dancing and singing,
1192
00:55:59,774 --> 00:56:04,277
"and a score by Richard Rodgers
which doesn't do any harm either,
1193
00:56:04,278 --> 00:56:06,821
"since it is one of his best.
1194
00:56:06,822 --> 00:56:08,908
[ALL CHEERING]
1195
00:56:12,203 --> 00:56:15,872
"Mr. Rodgers's scores never lack grace,
1196
00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:21,294
"but seldom have they been
so well-integrated as this for Oklahoma!
1197
00:56:21,295 --> 00:56:27,342
"He has turned out waltzes, love songs,
comic songs and a title number
1198
00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:30,804
"which the State in question
would do well to adopt
1199
00:56:30,805 --> 00:56:32,514
"as its anthem forthwith.
1200
00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:34,517
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
1201
00:56:37,228 --> 00:56:41,189
"Oh, What a Beautiful Morning,
and People Will Say We're in Love
1202
00:56:41,190 --> 00:56:44,609
"are headed for countless jukeboxes
across the land.
1203
00:56:44,610 --> 00:56:46,695
[ALL CHEERING]
1204
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:52,700
"And a dirge called 'Pore Jud',
in which the hero of the fable
1205
00:56:52,701 --> 00:56:55,870
"tries to persuade his rival
to hang himself
1206
00:56:55,871 --> 00:56:58,748
- is amazingly comic.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
1207
00:56:58,749 --> 00:57:03,419
"The Farmer and the Cowman
and The Surrey with the Fringe on the Top
1208
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:09,592
"also deserve mention only because
they quite clearly approach perfection."
1209
00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:11,053
- [ALL APPLAUDING]
- Read that part again.
1210
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:16,307
"...because they quite clearly
approach perfection."
1211
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:17,977
Put that on the marquee!
1212
00:57:18,561 --> 00:57:21,187
"Quite clearly approaches perfection."
1213
00:57:21,188 --> 00:57:23,065
[ALL CHEERING]
1214
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,444
Come on, everybody! Party upstairs!
Cake and champagne.
1215
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,029
[ALL CHEERING]
1216
00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:31,489
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
1217
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,534
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1218
00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:41,332
Oh, Oscar! Bravo, bravo.
1219
00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:43,377
Congratulations. Oh...
[HESITATING]
1220
00:57:48,883 --> 00:57:50,383
Can I speak with you for a moment?
1221
00:57:50,384 --> 00:57:51,467
Can we talk later, Larry?
1222
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:54,012
No, no, no. It's just a second.
I have something important to say.
1223
00:57:54,013 --> 00:57:55,930
Just a moment with the musical genius.
1224
00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:57,183
[HART CHUCKLES]
1225
00:57:58,684 --> 00:58:01,811
I just have one thing
I want to tell you, Dick.
1226
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:06,025
Uh... Just one second, Dick.
It's important.
1227
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,443
I remember when I first heard about you,
1228
00:58:08,444 --> 00:58:11,154
you were just Morty Rodger's
little brother.
1229
00:58:11,155 --> 00:58:13,239
- What, were you 17?
- 16.
1230
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:14,866
- Yeah, I was 23.
- Swell job.
1231
00:58:14,867 --> 00:58:16,409
Yeah, you were the wise old man
on the mountain.
1232
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:18,620
But when I first heard you
play your stuff,
1233
00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:21,497
I knew you had it.
1234
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:23,458
I wasn't entirely convinced that I had it,
1235
00:58:23,459 --> 00:58:26,003
but I heard something that afternoon.
1236
00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:31,300
Originality, melody, grace...
1237
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,385
- Oh... [BREATH TREMBLING]
- [LAUGHS]
1238
00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:37,847
Come on. Come on, Larry. Stop it.
Come on, what's the matter with you?
1239
00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:41,726
You worked your whole life
for this night, Dick.
1240
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:44,687
Nobody's worked harder.
And nobody deserves it more.
1241
00:58:44,688 --> 00:58:46,481
All right, thanks. Thanks, Larry.
Thank you.
1242
00:58:46,482 --> 00:58:49,108
All right, that's what I wanted...
Just go...
1243
00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:50,985
[SNIFFLES AND LAUGHS]
...enjoy your party.
1244
00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:52,779
- Hey, look at me. Look at me.
- Mmm-hmm?
1245
00:58:52,780 --> 00:58:55,114
We're going to do
A Connecticut Yankee, all new.
1246
00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,242
- Yeah, yeah.
- We're gonna write four or five new songs.
1247
00:58:57,243 --> 00:58:58,576
- I have ideas already.
- Right?
1248
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:01,204
Yeah, yeah. And if I get some pages down
for Marco Polo,
1249
00:59:01,205 --> 00:59:02,289
can I send them over?
1250
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:07,670
You have to ask me that?
Larry, I owe my professional life to you.
1251
00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:14,801
[SINGING] Summer journeys to Niagara
And to other places
1252
00:59:14,802 --> 00:59:17,679
Aggravate all our cares...
1253
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,597
You remember we heard that on the radio
for the first time?
1254
00:59:19,598 --> 00:59:22,267
In your parents' living room.
Our first hit.
1255
00:59:22,268 --> 00:59:25,061
That was one of the most
astonishing moments of my life, Larry.
1256
00:59:25,062 --> 00:59:29,023
- I was 22.
- And I'm telling you, I swear to God,
1257
00:59:29,024 --> 00:59:31,526
our best work is still ahead of us.
1258
00:59:31,527 --> 00:59:33,611
Yes, the new Connecticut Yankee!
1259
00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:35,238
Yeah, yeah. And bigger stuff.
1260
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:37,156
- MAN: Dick, get up here.
- All right. I'm coming!
1261
00:59:37,157 --> 00:59:39,618
I mean, Marco Polo is going to be
a show about joy...
1262
00:59:40,286 --> 00:59:44,039
but a hard-earned joy,
an unsentimental joy.
1263
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:47,251
- Something wrong with sentimental?
- What? It's too easy.
1264
00:59:50,296 --> 00:59:52,047
- Oklahoma! is too easy?
- [SPUTTERS]
1265
00:59:52,798 --> 00:59:55,174
The guy actually getting the girl
at the end is too easy?
1266
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:57,885
You've just eliminated
every successful musical comedy...
1267
00:59:57,886 --> 00:59:59,095
- [CHUCKLES]
- ...ever written, Larry.
1268
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:00,179
Then it's too easy for me.
1269
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:01,598
Did you hear the audience tonight?
1270
01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:03,225
Yes.
1271
01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:06,644
Sixteen hundred people
didn't think it was too easy.
1272
01:00:06,645 --> 01:00:08,479
You're telling me 1,600 people are wrong?
1273
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:09,940
I'm just saying...
1274
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:17,071
that you and I can do something
so much more emotionally complicated.
1275
01:00:17,072 --> 01:00:19,282
We don't have to pander
to what audiences...
1276
01:00:19,283 --> 01:00:21,326
- Oscar and I are pandering?
- No. I didn't say that.
1277
01:00:21,327 --> 01:00:23,578
- Irving Berlin is pandering?
- I love Berlin.
1278
01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:26,331
- White Christmas is pandering?
- Well, I don't believe White Christmas.
1279
01:00:26,332 --> 01:00:28,416
- Okay.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
1280
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:30,209
Well, maybe audiences have changed.
1281
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:32,128
Well, they still want to laugh.
1282
01:00:32,129 --> 01:00:33,921
They want to laugh, but not in that way.
1283
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:35,507
- Not in what way?
- In your way.
1284
01:00:36,592 --> 01:00:38,426
They want to laugh,
but they also want to cry a little.
1285
01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:41,346
They want to... they want to feel.
1286
01:00:41,347 --> 01:00:42,389
HART: Hmm.
1287
01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:46,392
You're my oldest friend.
1288
01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:49,229
- [SIGHS WEARILY]
- [HESITATING] You're...
1289
01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:52,398
- you're unique.
- Hmm.
1290
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:53,984
Sounds like you're writing my obituary.
1291
01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:57,862
- I'm just saying.
- I'm right here, right now.
1292
01:00:57,863 --> 01:01:00,865
- Ready to work.
- Yeah?
1293
01:01:00,866 --> 01:01:02,200
HART: Hmm.
1294
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:04,536
And you're willing to go
back to Doctors Hospital?
1295
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:08,331
I don't need to go back
to Doctors Hospital,
1296
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:11,584
and I don't need a psychiatrist either.
1297
01:01:11,585 --> 01:01:13,628
- Thank you very much.
- We were just trying to help you, Larry.
1298
01:01:13,629 --> 01:01:15,797
Who's we? You and Oscar? Help me?
1299
01:01:15,798 --> 01:01:17,298
Oscar? You think Oscar
had anything to do with it?
1300
01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:20,718
Oklahoma! is going to be the biggest hit
of your career.
1301
01:01:20,719 --> 01:01:23,096
- You don't know that. You don't know that.
- You got that asshole Kron
1302
01:01:23,097 --> 01:01:25,056
to manage my money.
Now I'm incapable...
1303
01:01:25,057 --> 01:01:26,849
I did that at the insistence
of your brother, Larry.
1304
01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:27,934
Teddy literally begged me...
1305
01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:30,186
Well, maybe you and Teddy
should write the lyrics.
1306
01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:31,813
I did write the lyrics.
1307
01:01:31,814 --> 01:01:32,814
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
1308
01:01:32,815 --> 01:01:34,023
What is that supposed to mean?
1309
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:36,859
By Jupiter? Have you conveniently
blocked that out?
1310
01:01:36,860 --> 01:01:38,152
Blocked what out?
1311
01:01:38,153 --> 01:01:41,614
How Logan and I begged you
for extra choruses, extra verses,
1312
01:01:41,615 --> 01:01:44,784
and you were so drunk
that you didn't even show up.
1313
01:01:44,785 --> 01:01:46,619
So, yes, I had to write the lyrics.
1314
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:49,497
- You didn't write one fucking word...
- How would you know?
1315
01:01:49,498 --> 01:01:51,207
- ...of that show.
- How would you know, Larry?
1316
01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,000
You weren't around to even...
1317
01:01:53,001 --> 01:01:54,085
You know what?
1318
01:01:54,086 --> 01:01:56,129
I'm actually not going to argue
with you tonight,
1319
01:01:56,130 --> 01:01:57,255
- if that's all right with you.
- I like to argue.
1320
01:01:57,256 --> 01:01:59,090
Well I don't. I don't.
1321
01:01:59,091 --> 01:02:00,467
Look, I am sorry.
1322
01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:04,095
I don't care if somebody attacks me.
1323
01:02:04,096 --> 01:02:06,389
It doesn't mean anything to me.
1324
01:02:06,390 --> 01:02:10,268
But nobody can attack my work.
It is all I've got.
1325
01:02:10,269 --> 01:02:12,271
Your work is brilliant.
That's not the problem.
1326
01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:18,652
Your work has been brilliant
since the day I met you.
1327
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:21,238
Do you still remember that?
1328
01:02:22,322 --> 01:02:24,699
You, standing there in your
carpet slippers and your stripy bathrobe?
1329
01:02:24,700 --> 01:02:25,701
[HART CHUCKLES]
1330
01:02:26,618 --> 01:02:30,872
Yeah, with the five o'clock shadow
at 11:00 a.m.
1331
01:02:30,873 --> 01:02:33,291
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1332
01:02:33,292 --> 01:02:36,462
I'll remember that
till the last day of my life.
1333
01:02:39,298 --> 01:02:41,091
[INHALES DEEPLY] Okay.
1334
01:02:44,052 --> 01:02:45,262
[SIGHS]
1335
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:47,681
[LAUGHS]
1336
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:49,348
- Larry, I got to go upstairs.
- I know.
1337
01:02:49,349 --> 01:02:51,518
- The whole company's waiting.
- Of course. Of course.
1338
01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:54,604
Four or five songs, yes?
1339
01:02:54,605 --> 01:02:56,732
I'm telling you, I'm having ideas already!
1340
01:02:57,774 --> 01:02:59,775
A big comedy solo for Vivienne
1341
01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:03,572
about how she's killed off
every single one of her previous husbands.
1342
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:05,948
Might be funny.
1343
01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:08,827
We can call it To Keep Our Love Alive!
1344
01:03:21,924 --> 01:03:22,883
[GIGGLES]
1345
01:03:23,884 --> 01:03:25,594
- You okay, Larry?
- Mmm-hmm.
1346
01:03:30,474 --> 01:03:31,599
What happened to White?
1347
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:34,019
- Left.
- "So soon?"
1348
01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:36,979
There was so much more
I wanted to say to him.
1349
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,982
- Maybe he was an extra, too.
- [SIGHS SOFTLY]
1350
01:03:39,942 --> 01:03:40,984
One more?
1351
01:03:41,860 --> 01:03:42,945
Last one, Larry.
1352
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:47,658
Do you know the ineffectual blues?
1353
01:03:49,993 --> 01:03:52,078
That's because I haven't written it yet.
1354
01:03:52,079 --> 01:03:53,664
[CHUCKLES]
1355
01:03:54,957 --> 01:03:58,417
[SIGHS] They should put
my picture on that bottle.
1356
01:03:58,418 --> 01:04:02,547
"The Whiskey That Made
Lorenz Hart Unemployable."
1357
01:04:02,548 --> 01:04:04,508
[SCOFFS] "Buy War Bonds."
1358
01:04:09,638 --> 01:04:11,055
[EXHALES]
1359
01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:13,641
You know, I've started
to hear things wrong.
1360
01:04:13,642 --> 01:04:16,727
The other night,
I was listening to this singer go on
1361
01:04:16,728 --> 01:04:18,397
about "her cigarette heart."
1362
01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:21,857
And I thought,
"Now that is an original metaphor,
1363
01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:23,569
"'My cigarette heart.'"
1364
01:04:24,278 --> 01:04:26,738
Then I realized she was singing
"My secret heart."
1365
01:04:27,531 --> 01:04:30,408
I can't remember anything anymore either.
1366
01:04:30,409 --> 01:04:32,952
That should be the title
of my autobiography,
1367
01:04:32,953 --> 01:04:35,539
"Stop Me If I've Told You This Already."
1368
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:39,084
And we'll print the entire text twice.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1369
01:04:45,549 --> 01:04:47,883
ELIZABETH: No, I'm serious.
I've seen her do it before.
1370
01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:50,804
GEORGE: As long as there's
no dancing later on in the night.
1371
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:52,430
[CHUCKLING]
1372
01:04:52,431 --> 01:04:54,098
ELIZABETH: You better watch yourself...
1373
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:57,018
My irreplaceable Elizabeth!
1374
01:04:57,019 --> 01:04:58,103
Larry!
1375
01:04:59,062 --> 01:05:00,896
- Do you like it?
- HART: It's...
1376
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:02,941
Oscar Hammerstein just said I was a gem!
1377
01:05:03,609 --> 01:05:06,445
He has such a way with words.
1378
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:09,113
George, this is Lorenz Hart.
1379
01:05:09,114 --> 01:05:11,490
I am legitimately honored to meet you.
1380
01:05:11,491 --> 01:05:15,036
Would you mind if I spoke to Elizabeth
alone for two minutes?
1381
01:05:15,037 --> 01:05:16,787
And then she's all yours.
1382
01:05:16,788 --> 01:05:18,039
It would be perfectly all right
1383
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,916
as long as you promise me
your autograph before I go.
1384
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:22,294
ELIZABETH: George is a senior at Yale.
1385
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:24,921
He's studying music,
but he wants to be a director.
1386
01:05:25,047 --> 01:05:26,464
A director. Well, what's your name?
1387
01:05:26,465 --> 01:05:27,548
George Hill.
1388
01:05:27,549 --> 01:05:31,552
Here's my advice to you,
future director, George Hill.
1389
01:05:31,553 --> 01:05:32,887
Do you want my advice?
1390
01:05:32,888 --> 01:05:33,972
I'd be honored.
1391
01:05:35,057 --> 01:05:37,601
Be careful of love stories.
1392
01:05:38,352 --> 01:05:41,145
Think about friendship stories.
1393
01:05:41,146 --> 01:05:44,733
That's where
the really enduring stuff lives.
1394
01:05:45,817 --> 01:05:47,986
- Thank you. I'll remember that.
- HART: Hmm!
1395
01:05:51,156 --> 01:05:52,658
Catch up with you later, George.
1396
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,535
My mother just gave me this.
1397
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:58,288
I was really touched she gave it to me.
1398
01:05:59,414 --> 01:06:01,540
My well-tempered clavicle.
1399
01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:03,210
Careful. My mother...
1400
01:06:04,002 --> 01:06:05,586
[SOFTLY] Okay. All right...
1401
01:06:05,587 --> 01:06:09,965
Sorry. Now, I know your birthday
isn't until November 19th.
1402
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,050
I'm a scorpion.
1403
01:06:11,051 --> 01:06:13,928
I never doubted that for a second.
1404
01:06:13,929 --> 01:06:16,222
Did you get the sheet music I sent you?
1405
01:06:16,223 --> 01:06:20,393
Ah, I was so busy with exams,
I put them away, honestly, and...
1406
01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:23,938
And then I kind of forgot about them.
But now I've got the time. I promise you.
1407
01:06:23,939 --> 01:06:25,523
I'm going to get a friend of mine
1408
01:06:25,524 --> 01:06:27,400
to play every single one
of those songs for me.
1409
01:06:27,401 --> 01:06:29,193
Take your time.
1410
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:31,654
That's the wonderful thing
about art, isn't it?
1411
01:06:31,655 --> 01:06:32,864
It waits for you.
1412
01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,033
Thank you for all the letters
you wrote me.
1413
01:06:36,034 --> 01:06:37,910
I really enjoyed reading them.
1414
01:06:37,911 --> 01:06:41,038
My roommate couldn't believe I was
actually corresponding with Lorenz Hart.
1415
01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:43,792
I remember in Vermont,
you were drinking red wine.
1416
01:06:44,668 --> 01:06:47,713
Malbec. It's a big Yale drink.
1417
01:06:48,463 --> 01:06:52,007
You ask for the French Malbec,
and then you act
1418
01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:54,260
as if you can actually tell
which vineyard it came from.
1419
01:06:54,261 --> 01:06:55,929
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Oh...
1420
01:06:56,722 --> 01:06:59,390
Don't mention Vermont
around my mother, okay?
1421
01:06:59,391 --> 01:07:01,226
She doesn't know anything
about our little getaway.
1422
01:07:02,394 --> 01:07:04,311
Actually, thank goodness.
1423
01:07:04,312 --> 01:07:07,481
She doesn't know about 90%
of what's going on in my life.
1424
01:07:07,482 --> 01:07:10,151
Well, I feel privileged that I do.
1425
01:07:10,152 --> 01:07:12,446
Or that I did, back in August.
1426
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:15,865
I've got much more stuff to
report on since then. [LAUGHS]
1427
01:07:15,866 --> 01:07:19,577
Well, tell me about the guys.
That's what I'm interested in.
1428
01:07:19,578 --> 01:07:24,415
[CLICKS TONGUE] Honestly,
I'm much smarter than most of them.
1429
01:07:24,416 --> 01:07:27,877
So I sort of sit back and watch them
trying to impress me.
1430
01:07:27,878 --> 01:07:29,462
It's pretty entertaining.
1431
01:07:29,463 --> 01:07:31,881
If I were a college guy,
I think I would be afraid of you.
1432
01:07:31,882 --> 01:07:35,009
This intelligent, mercilessly observant,
1433
01:07:35,010 --> 01:07:37,636
wickedly unsentimental beauty
sitting there,
1434
01:07:37,637 --> 01:07:40,681
evaluating me from somewhere
behind those green eyes,
1435
01:07:40,682 --> 01:07:42,391
annotating all my gaucheries.
1436
01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:44,351
My God, I would be terrified.
1437
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:46,271
Hey, I'm not that intimidating.
1438
01:07:47,481 --> 01:07:49,900
Tell me more about this Cooper.
1439
01:07:52,194 --> 01:07:53,319
This is embarrassing. [LAUGHS]
1440
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:54,612
I love it when you're embarrassed,
1441
01:07:54,613 --> 01:07:57,490
you get this scarlet blush
that washes up over you,
1442
01:07:57,491 --> 01:07:59,701
and a second later it's gone.
1443
01:08:00,202 --> 01:08:02,369
This one might last considerably longer.
1444
01:08:02,370 --> 01:08:04,497
- I'd love to...
- Elizabeth. Hello, Larry.
1445
01:08:04,498 --> 01:08:07,625
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything too weighty.
1446
01:08:07,626 --> 01:08:10,086
Well, weighty affairs will have to wait.
1447
01:08:10,837 --> 01:08:12,379
She's a gem, isn't she?
1448
01:08:12,380 --> 01:08:13,839
Please, Mr. Hammerstein.
1449
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:15,674
I'll only bother you for a moment.
1450
01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:17,803
Larry, I just wanted to say...
1451
01:08:18,512 --> 01:08:21,597
Well, firstly, I recognize this must be
a difficult night for you.
1452
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:25,100
No, I'm a professional, Oscar.
We're both professionals,
1453
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:27,144
we understand the nature of our business.
1454
01:08:27,145 --> 01:08:31,565
Larry, did you really like the show?
I don't think I do the comedy numbers
1455
01:08:31,566 --> 01:08:33,818
half as well as you do.
They're not my strength.
1456
01:08:33,819 --> 01:08:37,822
I laughed my ass off.
I had to have it re-attached.
1457
01:08:37,823 --> 01:08:39,073
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1458
01:08:39,074 --> 01:08:41,700
Larry, we're the same age,
but you were always the teacher.
1459
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:44,078
- No, Oscar. I...
- No, your whole career,
1460
01:08:44,079 --> 01:08:45,788
- you showed us the way.
- Well, I doubt...
1461
01:08:45,789 --> 01:08:47,414
You liberated us all.
1462
01:08:47,415 --> 01:08:51,001
You made American songs
finally sound like American speech.
1463
01:08:51,002 --> 01:08:53,712
Stop. I dislike eulogies,
especially my own.
1464
01:08:53,713 --> 01:08:56,007
Oscar, tonight is your night.
1465
01:08:56,633 --> 01:09:00,302
A hit for you and Dick
is a hit for all of us.
1466
01:09:00,303 --> 01:09:03,055
People finally want to go see shows again.
1467
01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:05,975
Real shows. Dick and I
were just tossing around a few ideas.
1468
01:09:05,976 --> 01:09:09,604
- Wonderful.
- Yeah, we have this idea for a big...
1469
01:09:10,689 --> 01:09:12,481
Marco Polo show... huge...
1470
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:14,191
- Wow.
- ...a kind of musical circus.
1471
01:09:14,192 --> 01:09:16,944
Dick's excited about it.
1472
01:09:16,945 --> 01:09:18,487
He said you're adapting Liliom.
1473
01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:20,281
Well, if we can finagle the rights.
1474
01:09:20,282 --> 01:09:21,366
Sounds exciting.
1475
01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:24,285
- Elizabeth told me she's your protégé.
- Stop.
1476
01:09:24,286 --> 01:09:29,039
"She's the promised kiss of springtime
that makes the lonely winter seem long."
1477
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:30,124
Oh, please.
1478
01:09:30,125 --> 01:09:33,627
- You wrote a great lyric.
- For a show that didn't run three months.
1479
01:09:33,628 --> 01:09:35,796
- I saw it twice.
- You...
1480
01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:38,215
You know what
we're talking about here, Stevie?
1481
01:09:38,216 --> 01:09:40,634
Very Warm for May.
Produced by Max Gordon.
1482
01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:42,011
Music by Jerome Kern.
1483
01:09:42,012 --> 01:09:44,638
Alvin Theatre. 59 performances.
1484
01:09:44,639 --> 01:09:46,015
[BOTH LAUGH]
1485
01:09:46,016 --> 01:09:50,060
This is my neighbor. He's a kind of
a walking encyclopedia of musical theater.
1486
01:09:50,061 --> 01:09:52,938
Well, I'm a kind of walking pneumonia
for musical theater.
1487
01:09:52,939 --> 01:09:54,982
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you.
1488
01:09:54,983 --> 01:09:56,984
He wants to write musicals
when he grows up.
1489
01:09:56,985 --> 01:09:58,569
Who's your favorite lyricist?
1490
01:09:58,570 --> 01:09:59,738
- Oscar.
- HART: Mmm-hmm.
1491
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:02,781
Of course.
And what do you think of my work?
1492
01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:04,408
I like it. It's funny.
1493
01:10:04,409 --> 01:10:05,576
Thank you.
1494
01:10:05,577 --> 01:10:06,953
Can be a little sloppy at times.
1495
01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:10,247
OSCAR: He's very tired.
It's been a long day.
1496
01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:13,417
Come on, Stevie.
It's a long ride back to Doylestown.
1497
01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:15,586
- You want to go to the bathroom?
- I'm not tired.
1498
01:10:15,587 --> 01:10:17,671
He asked me what I thought of his work.
1499
01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:19,965
"Weighty affairs will just have to wait"?
1500
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:22,093
I so regret not having children.
1501
01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:25,220
- Cooper.
- [SIGHS]
1502
01:10:25,221 --> 01:10:27,389
- I can't believe I'm telling you this.
- Tell me.
1503
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:29,808
You have to remember,
I've had a hopeless crush on this guy
1504
01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:30,935
for over a year.
1505
01:10:30,936 --> 01:10:32,520
Hold this. Come here.
1506
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:38,151
Renee, may I buy five minutes
of privacy, please?
1507
01:10:39,069 --> 01:10:40,487
{\an8}Anything for you, Larry.
1508
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:51,665
Thank you.
1509
01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:56,920
Tell me what he looks like,
I'm trying to visualize him.
1510
01:10:57,837 --> 01:11:00,172
Apollo? Blue eyes. Tall.
1511
01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:02,466
So, basically, the skin on his back
1512
01:11:02,467 --> 01:11:04,093
- was flawless...
- [CLICKS TONGUE] Stop.
1513
01:11:04,094 --> 01:11:08,055
It's the night of your birthday.
Tell me everything.
1514
01:11:08,056 --> 01:11:11,810
- A group of my friends are taking...
- Boyfriends, girlfriends?
1515
01:11:12,435 --> 01:11:13,686
- Mixed.
- Okay.
1516
01:11:13,687 --> 01:11:16,063
Come on, Larry, I'm a college lady.
1517
01:11:16,064 --> 01:11:17,356
[CHUCKLES]
1518
01:11:17,357 --> 01:11:21,319
So they're taking me to Mory's,
which is technically no women allowed,
1519
01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:25,489
but they smuggle us up those backstairs
like so much heavily-scented contraband,
1520
01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:30,911
and, of course, one of the girls
has brought along her date.
1521
01:11:30,912 --> 01:11:31,997
Cooper?
1522
01:11:32,580 --> 01:11:36,208
Which is both destroying me
and exhilarating me.
1523
01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:40,005
I mean, he's there. Near me.
1524
01:11:42,048 --> 01:11:43,507
The evening is getting late,
1525
01:11:43,508 --> 01:11:45,593
empty wine bottles
are filling up the table.
1526
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,679
Half of us are underage,
1527
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:51,682
but we're flirting so shamelessly
with the waiter that nobody seems to care.
1528
01:11:51,683 --> 01:11:54,769
- Drinking your French Malbec.
- Exactly.
1529
01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:57,564
I'm nothing if not a good student.
1530
01:11:58,148 --> 01:12:01,817
That's why everybody loves you, Larry.
You're the best listener I ever met.
1531
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:05,362
That's because I have absolutely
no interest in myself whatsoever.
1532
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:07,698
Back to your tale of natal debauchery.
1533
01:12:07,699 --> 01:12:09,784
Empty wine bottles filling the table...
1534
01:12:11,119 --> 01:12:12,454
- So it's late.
- Mmm-hmm.
1535
01:12:12,996 --> 01:12:15,915
- And Marjorie...
- The girl who came with Cooper?
1536
01:12:16,791 --> 01:12:18,500
She's left to go home and study.
1537
01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:19,877
Aww...
1538
01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:22,213
People are staggering out one by one.
1539
01:12:23,048 --> 01:12:24,257
It's midnight.
1540
01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:27,801
And I find myself sitting
right next to him.
1541
01:12:27,802 --> 01:12:29,262
Take your time.
1542
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:33,640
You know, there's no place else
on earth I'd rather be
1543
01:12:33,641 --> 01:12:36,268
than sitting right here with you.
1544
01:12:36,269 --> 01:12:38,604
Oh, did you get my letter?
There's a party at my place tonight.
1545
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:40,856
Oh, I think I've got to stay here
and help my mother...
1546
01:12:40,857 --> 01:12:42,274
It's not getting started till late.
1547
01:12:42,275 --> 01:12:45,195
You'll have plenty of time
to work the room here.
1548
01:12:45,904 --> 01:12:49,573
I've got the Golden Gate Quartet
showing up. Promise me you'll come.
1549
01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:51,241
320 Central Park West.
1550
01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:54,620
You said you wanted
to design sets and costumes,
1551
01:12:54,621 --> 01:12:56,914
everybody in New York theater
is gonna be there.
1552
01:12:56,915 --> 01:12:58,249
Okay, back to Cooper.
1553
01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:01,586
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1554
01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:03,671
We leave Mory's together.
1555
01:13:04,589 --> 01:13:08,134
It's a perfect November night.
A fingernail clipping of a moon.
1556
01:13:09,094 --> 01:13:12,554
He's got his arm around me.
We're both a little drunk,
1557
01:13:12,555 --> 01:13:15,516
stumbling in and out of each other's arms.
1558
01:13:15,517 --> 01:13:18,894
He's wearing this red and green
flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
1559
01:13:18,895 --> 01:13:20,230
Not that you noticed.
1560
01:13:21,189 --> 01:13:22,397
He's looking good!
1561
01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,442
- And you?
- Um...
1562
01:13:25,902 --> 01:13:26,945
It's my birthday, right?
1563
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,240
- I'm supposed to be looking good.
- Tasty.
1564
01:13:31,616 --> 01:13:34,660
So I'm leaning
against that flannel work shirt,
1565
01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:36,329
and I'm telling you,
1566
01:13:36,996 --> 01:13:39,623
I can smell the maleness
coming off of him.
1567
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:40,916
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1568
01:13:40,917 --> 01:13:45,421
I remember thinking that huge purple
letters should have lit up the sky...
1569
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:48,298
- "Desire."
- Okay.
1570
01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:49,383
Hold on one second.
1571
01:13:49,384 --> 01:13:51,760
I have to go find some ice-water
and pour it down my trousers.
1572
01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:53,513
You may need some extra ice.
1573
01:13:54,222 --> 01:13:57,057
We end up in the basement
of his fraternity,
1574
01:13:57,058 --> 01:14:00,310
in this tawdry sort of derelict bar.
1575
01:14:00,311 --> 01:14:03,397
God only knows how many acts of depravity
have taken place down there.
1576
01:14:03,398 --> 01:14:05,023
And here comes one more.
1577
01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:06,191
Oh, yeah.
1578
01:14:06,192 --> 01:14:08,694
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- [ELIZABETH SIGHS]
1579
01:14:08,695 --> 01:14:11,281
So I've been watching this guy for a year,
1580
01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:16,578
dreaming about him, and now, here it is.
1581
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,955
The night of my birthday,
1582
01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:22,791
the only light is coming
from this dim little lamp
1583
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:25,503
with horses and jockeys
printed on the shade.
1584
01:14:26,212 --> 01:14:28,214
I mean, really, Larry,
what's a girl to do?
1585
01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:30,258
Happy birthday!
1586
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:34,970
He begins to take off his clothes.
1587
01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:36,139
[HART INHALES DEEPLY]
1588
01:14:37,891 --> 01:14:39,100
[COUGHS]
1589
01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:43,520
You really want to hear this?
1590
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:45,648
Uh, I'm mildly interested.
1591
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:48,902
It's humiliating.
1592
01:14:50,361 --> 01:14:51,905
'Cause basically nothing happened.
1593
01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:54,365
Nothing?
1594
01:14:56,242 --> 01:14:58,035
Like you and me at the lake house?
1595
01:14:58,036 --> 01:14:59,120
No.
1596
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,165
That was a deliberate decision
we made, right?
1597
01:15:02,874 --> 01:15:07,045
Based on what? Rationality?
I mean, as rational as you and I ever get.
1598
01:15:08,463 --> 01:15:09,504
[LAUGHS]
1599
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:10,757
But this...
1600
01:15:12,008 --> 01:15:15,511
[CLICKS TONGUE] This was based on the fact
that he couldn't get the rubber on.
1601
01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:18,013
Oh, no.
1602
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:19,307
He tried.
1603
01:15:20,225 --> 01:15:21,684
- He tried again.
- No.
1604
01:15:22,602 --> 01:15:25,312
- I tried.
- Oh, stop. [CHUCKLES]
1605
01:15:25,313 --> 01:15:27,314
It was the worst 10 minutes of my life.
1606
01:15:27,315 --> 01:15:29,483
It felt like 10 hours.
1607
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:30,567
Oh, I'm sorry.
1608
01:15:30,568 --> 01:15:33,196
And you know what the worst part was?
1609
01:15:35,615 --> 01:15:38,076
He just wasn't there, you know?
1610
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:42,287
He kept mumbling that it was,
um, the wine.
1611
01:15:42,288 --> 01:15:43,414
That, um...
1612
01:15:44,207 --> 01:15:47,668
[SIGHS] ...the rubber was too small,
if you can believe that.
1613
01:15:47,669 --> 01:15:49,002
[CHUCKLES]
1614
01:15:49,003 --> 01:15:51,964
And this whole time what's clear to me
1615
01:15:51,965 --> 01:15:56,844
is that he just... hasn't sufficiently...
1616
01:15:58,471 --> 01:16:01,099
I don't know
what the right word is. Maybe...
1617
01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:06,104
"he-just-doesn't-love-you-enough"
is the right word.
1618
01:16:07,272 --> 01:16:10,108
I mean, there's no way
around that one, is there?
1619
01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:13,903
When the girl loves the guy
with all of her heart,
1620
01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:17,448
and he just doesn't return her feeling?
1621
01:16:18,658 --> 01:16:21,201
Do you have any idea what that feels like?
1622
01:16:21,202 --> 01:16:23,329
"Nobody ever loved me that much."
1623
01:16:24,622 --> 01:16:28,376
I brought into that basement
a year's worth of adoration,
1624
01:16:29,419 --> 01:16:31,421
yeah, studying his photograph,
1625
01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:34,673
memorizing his phone number.
1626
01:16:34,674 --> 01:16:38,511
And there he was, this half-drunk junior
1627
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:42,848
- who couldn't even pretend to love me...
- [SIGHS]
1628
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:46,602
And... I wouldn't have minded
if there'd been...
1629
01:16:47,687 --> 01:16:49,938
some... passion underneath.
1630
01:16:49,939 --> 01:16:52,567
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- Or even empathy.
1631
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:56,821
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
- There was nothing.
1632
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:01,409
Just... that lamp with the horses on it.
1633
01:17:02,577 --> 01:17:06,997
[WHISPERS] You deserve so much better.
1634
01:17:06,998 --> 01:17:08,124
Yeah.
1635
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:12,003
I asked my roommate about it
the next morning,
1636
01:17:12,670 --> 01:17:14,422
you know, girl to girl.
1637
01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:20,303
She said that men sometimes can't
perform because they're too nervous.
1638
01:17:23,389 --> 01:17:26,350
I wish I could believe that to feel
a little bit better about myself.
1639
01:17:26,351 --> 01:17:27,810
But... [CLICKS TONGUE]
1640
01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:31,188
...he was not nervous. Not in the least.
1641
01:17:31,189 --> 01:17:32,356
He had his eyes shut.
1642
01:17:32,357 --> 01:17:35,567
As if he were trying to dream me
into somebody he really wanted.
1643
01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:37,569
[SIGHS] I felt stupid.
1644
01:17:37,570 --> 01:17:39,029
I felt debased.
1645
01:17:39,030 --> 01:17:41,698
I felt furious at myself
that I could allow him
1646
01:17:41,699 --> 01:17:44,660
to make me feel so worthless. [SIGHS]
1647
01:17:45,995 --> 01:17:48,205
[LAUGHING] We tried
a few creative alternatives.
1648
01:17:48,206 --> 01:17:49,832
Oh, no. [LAUGHS]
1649
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:53,753
It got uglier and uglier.
1650
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:58,633
Finally, he said,
"Elizabeth, I owe you a rain check."
1651
01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:01,928
And that...
1652
01:18:02,553 --> 01:18:04,722
That was my 20th birthday.
1653
01:18:06,099 --> 01:18:07,307
Ta-da.
1654
01:18:07,308 --> 01:18:08,476
Jesus wept.
1655
01:18:11,312 --> 01:18:12,521
But it gets worse.
1656
01:18:12,522 --> 01:18:13,730
I don't think I can take it.
1657
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:15,148
Okay, I can take it.
1658
01:18:15,149 --> 01:18:19,444
But just tell me in a way that doesn't
make me ashamed to be a human being.
1659
01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:20,530
[SIGHS]
1660
01:18:21,656 --> 01:18:22,740
That's going to be difficult.
1661
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:26,576
About a week later... [SIGHS]
1662
01:18:26,577 --> 01:18:28,538
...everybody's leaving for Thanksgiving.
1663
01:18:29,831 --> 01:18:32,583
He gives me a call.
Would I like to have dinner with him?
1664
01:18:33,376 --> 01:18:36,128
- You know me. No pride.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1665
01:18:36,129 --> 01:18:40,007
I say, "Sure," and make my way over
to his fraternity again,
1666
01:18:41,175 --> 01:18:43,928
which sits under this huge gingko tree.
1667
01:18:44,679 --> 01:18:46,888
The leaves have turned yellow,
1668
01:18:46,889 --> 01:18:49,642
the trunk of the tree
is black from the rain.
1669
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:53,354
I'm thinking this is the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.
1670
01:18:54,272 --> 01:18:55,940
I remember saying to myself,
1671
01:18:56,774 --> 01:18:58,860
[WHISPERS] "God is giving you
a second chance."
1672
01:18:59,819 --> 01:19:00,986
We go up to his room,
1673
01:19:00,987 --> 01:19:03,448
his roommate has already left
for the holiday.
1674
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:05,658
The door clicks shut,
1675
01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:07,827
and suddenly...
1676
01:19:09,245 --> 01:19:11,955
there's no more discussion about dinner.
1677
01:19:11,956 --> 01:19:13,915
Rain check cashed!
1678
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:15,292
In spades.
1679
01:19:15,293 --> 01:19:17,085
I mean, it's suddenly pouring.
1680
01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:19,421
We're practically
tearing each other's clothes off.
1681
01:19:19,422 --> 01:19:21,174
There is no conversation.
1682
01:19:22,049 --> 01:19:23,301
And this time...
1683
01:19:24,719 --> 01:19:26,262
there is no difficulty.
1684
01:19:27,388 --> 01:19:30,724
Not the first time.
Not the second time.
1685
01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:32,310
Stop it.
1686
01:19:34,187 --> 01:19:38,190
He says to me,
"Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth."
1687
01:19:38,191 --> 01:19:39,275
Mmm.
1688
01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:44,906
And you want to hear the unbelievable
ending to this sordid little story?
1689
01:19:46,699 --> 01:19:48,409
That was the last time I saw him.
1690
01:19:50,495 --> 01:19:53,789
That was November. Over four months ago.
1691
01:19:55,249 --> 01:19:59,461
I was absolutely sure he'd call.
If only to have sex again, right?
1692
01:19:59,462 --> 01:20:01,714
No. Never.
1693
01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:04,341
I thought he'd write.
1694
01:20:04,342 --> 01:20:05,551
No.
1695
01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:07,928
So I call him, of course.
[SCOFFS]
1696
01:20:07,929 --> 01:20:09,179
HART: Mmm.
1697
01:20:09,180 --> 01:20:11,097
He couldn't get off the phone fast enough.
1698
01:20:11,098 --> 01:20:12,475
[SIGHS]
1699
01:20:12,642 --> 01:20:14,060
So I wrote to him.
1700
01:20:15,645 --> 01:20:18,230
- A four-page typed letter. Single-spaced.
- Oh, no.
1701
01:20:18,231 --> 01:20:19,649
No response.
1702
01:20:20,274 --> 01:20:24,320
I tell myself it was like a fever dream,
you know?
1703
01:20:25,279 --> 01:20:27,490
And maybe the fever finally broke.
1704
01:20:28,616 --> 01:20:31,619
And it all sounds sane and sensible.
1705
01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:35,456
But you know something?
1706
01:20:36,916 --> 01:20:40,503
If he called me right now,
right this very second,
1707
01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:43,965
I'd drop everything in my life and...
1708
01:20:45,091 --> 01:20:49,386
drive three hours, drive 30 hours
just to spend one more night with him.
1709
01:20:49,387 --> 01:20:51,429
What is the matter with me, Larry?
1710
01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:55,351
Why would you drive 30 hours to see
someone who treated you like that?
1711
01:20:58,271 --> 01:20:59,981
Because I'm in love with him?
1712
01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:02,149
You are?
1713
01:21:03,109 --> 01:21:06,696
It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic.
1714
01:21:07,697 --> 01:21:09,824
And this is not the first time
this has happened to me.
1715
01:21:11,117 --> 01:21:12,618
It keeps happening to me.
1716
01:21:14,412 --> 01:21:16,872
I feel like I can't see people clearly.
1717
01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:21,084
I wrote a song once, years ago,
1718
01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:23,253
called The Heart is Quicker
Than the Eye.
1719
01:21:23,254 --> 01:21:25,672
It's not a great song,
but it's a good title.
1720
01:21:25,673 --> 01:21:27,842
And it's true, I think.
1721
01:21:28,676 --> 01:21:34,514
The head has nothing to do
with the madness of love.
1722
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:36,642
[CHUCKLES] And...
1723
01:21:37,184 --> 01:21:40,562
It doesn't matter at all
about worthiness, does it?
1724
01:21:40,563 --> 01:21:44,190
We invest our hearts in worthless stocks.
1725
01:21:44,191 --> 01:21:46,443
And we know they're worthless.
1726
01:21:46,444 --> 01:21:50,656
But we cling to them like little children
clutching their little stuffed bears.
1727
01:21:51,741 --> 01:21:54,785
[SIGHING] Oh, Elizabeth.
1728
01:21:56,829 --> 01:21:58,080
Tell me truthfully.
1729
01:22:00,124 --> 01:22:01,626
How do you feel about me?
1730
01:22:04,962 --> 01:22:06,047
How do you mean?
1731
01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:08,215
I mean,
1732
01:22:09,216 --> 01:22:12,470
at the lake house,
with the light burning off the water,
1733
01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:16,098
we talked through half the night,
1734
01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:19,060
and I touched your shoulder...
1735
01:22:19,852 --> 01:22:22,480
Did you actually love me
a little bit that night?
1736
01:22:23,773 --> 01:22:25,358
You know I love you, Larry.
1737
01:22:27,985 --> 01:22:29,195
You do?
1738
01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:35,826
Just... not that way.
1739
01:22:43,834 --> 01:22:48,005
You said you'd drive 30 hours
to see Cooper.
1740
01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:51,801
How many hours would you drive to see me?
1741
01:22:52,635 --> 01:22:55,345
Oh. [LAUGHS] My hands are shaking.
1742
01:22:55,346 --> 01:22:56,888
[HART MUMBLES]
1743
01:22:56,889 --> 01:22:59,474
I feel something wiser
and deeper for you.
1744
01:22:59,475 --> 01:23:01,893
- Mmm. Thank you.
- Respect.
1745
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:05,939
Gratitude for the generosity
and selflessness you've shown me.
1746
01:23:05,940 --> 01:23:08,942
No one has ever been more interested
in my life than you have.
1747
01:23:08,943 --> 01:23:12,612
I don't deserve a friendship like yours.
I am so grateful for you.
1748
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,781
I will be grateful forever.
1749
01:23:14,782 --> 01:23:17,534
I'm grateful to you, too,
for resurrecting me.
1750
01:23:17,535 --> 01:23:19,160
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Stop.
1751
01:23:19,161 --> 01:23:20,537
RENEE: Larry! There's people out here.
1752
01:23:20,538 --> 01:23:22,081
[SPUTTERS] One second!
1753
01:23:27,086 --> 01:23:29,046
- Can I ask you something?
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1754
01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:32,674
Something that's probably
too personal for me to ask?
1755
01:23:32,675 --> 01:23:36,137
Too personal is the only thing
that I'm interested in.
1756
01:23:36,804 --> 01:23:39,640
Uh... My mother...
1757
01:23:40,349 --> 01:23:43,393
You know, she works for the Guild,
she knows everybody.
1758
01:23:43,394 --> 01:23:46,271
So she saw us spending time together
last summer...
1759
01:23:46,272 --> 01:23:48,232
I see where this is headed.
1760
01:23:49,483 --> 01:23:52,736
She said to me... I don't...
I don't know how to say this.
1761
01:23:52,737 --> 01:23:53,821
Just say it.
1762
01:23:56,115 --> 01:23:57,116
Okay.
1763
01:23:58,576 --> 01:24:00,535
She said to me, more than once,
1764
01:24:00,536 --> 01:24:03,414
"Elizabeth, not only is he twice your age,
1765
01:24:04,498 --> 01:24:08,418
"but I don't think
his primary interest is women."
1766
01:24:08,419 --> 01:24:09,628
What did you say?
1767
01:24:10,755 --> 01:24:13,214
I said, "Look, Mother, I know what I know.
1768
01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:14,841
"And I know what we're both feeling."
1769
01:24:14,842 --> 01:24:17,094
Mmm-hmm. What are we both feeling?
1770
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:23,100
"Irrational adoration?"
1771
01:24:25,186 --> 01:24:30,357
And what may I ask does your mother
think she knows of my primary interest?
1772
01:24:31,525 --> 01:24:34,278
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
1773
01:24:35,112 --> 01:24:36,280
Please forgive me.
1774
01:24:37,740 --> 01:24:42,453
To all our mothers.
May they remain mercifully silent.
1775
01:24:43,704 --> 01:24:45,914
I apologize.
That was stupid of me to have asked.
1776
01:24:45,915 --> 01:24:48,000
And I do know what I know,
and what I feel.
1777
01:24:48,793 --> 01:24:50,960
Here's what you tell that mother of yours,
1778
01:24:50,961 --> 01:24:52,504
as she sits by the fire,
1779
01:24:52,505 --> 01:24:55,507
wistfully counting up her royalties
from Oklahoma!
1780
01:24:55,508 --> 01:24:59,261
You tell her that Larry Hart
is drunk with beauty.
1781
01:25:00,346 --> 01:25:02,431
And italicize the word "drunk."
1782
01:25:02,932 --> 01:25:05,642
Drunk with beauty, wherever he finds it.
1783
01:25:05,643 --> 01:25:10,271
In men, in women,
in the smell of cigar stores,
1784
01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:15,151
in the impossible beauty
of a 20-year-old poet
1785
01:25:15,152 --> 01:25:19,990
with pale green eyes and two tiny freckles
on her left cheek.
1786
01:25:24,787 --> 01:25:25,871
Are you all right?
1787
01:25:26,914 --> 01:25:29,415
It's... [INHALES DEEPLY]
1788
01:25:29,416 --> 01:25:31,417
- ...my cigarette heart.
- [DOOR OPENS]
1789
01:25:31,418 --> 01:25:33,795
Larry, Dick Rodgers
is looking for his coat.
1790
01:25:33,796 --> 01:25:35,047
HART: Coming.
1791
01:25:51,981 --> 01:25:53,189
Introduce me?
1792
01:25:53,190 --> 01:25:56,317
[GRUNTING] Thank you, Renee.
1793
01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,529
Wonderful, thank you so much.
1794
01:25:59,196 --> 01:26:03,492
Dick, I want to introduce you
to my protégé, Elizabeth Weiland.
1795
01:26:04,910 --> 01:26:06,078
Your protégé?
1796
01:26:06,954 --> 01:26:08,329
- Hello.
- Hello.
1797
01:26:08,330 --> 01:26:10,790
Well, you've got yourself
a damn good role model there
1798
01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:13,251
if you can stay away from the bourbon.
1799
01:26:13,252 --> 01:26:18,047
Mmm. She's interested in writing
and set design and costumes.
1800
01:26:18,048 --> 01:26:19,466
Okay, really?
1801
01:26:19,592 --> 01:26:21,760
Mr. Rodgers, the show tonight,
1802
01:26:22,469 --> 01:26:24,053
I thought it was magnificent.
1803
01:26:24,054 --> 01:26:25,221
Well, thank you.
1804
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,473
It was as perfect a musical show
as I've ever seen.
1805
01:26:27,474 --> 01:26:29,893
Well, that's a lovely compliment.
1806
01:26:29,894 --> 01:26:32,020
Your mother's with the Guild, am I right?
1807
01:26:32,021 --> 01:26:34,439
- Yes, Theresa Weiland.
- Yeah, Theresa, yeah.
1808
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:37,233
- Right, so you've seen a lot of shows.
- Too many shows.
1809
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:39,152
[ALL LAUGHING]
1810
01:26:39,153 --> 01:26:40,236
Yeah.
1811
01:26:40,237 --> 01:26:41,322
I know what you mean.
1812
01:26:41,906 --> 01:26:44,616
But tonight what I saw was what
I'd always hoped a show might be.
1813
01:26:44,617 --> 01:26:47,453
Uplifting. Smart. Magical.
1814
01:26:47,578 --> 01:26:50,997
Larry, this is the most perceptive young
woman you've ever introduced me to.
1815
01:26:50,998 --> 01:26:52,457
[HART CHUCKLES]
1816
01:26:52,458 --> 01:26:54,043
- I've had a good teacher.
- HART: Mmm-hmm.
1817
01:26:54,835 --> 01:26:56,502
So, what do you write?
1818
01:26:56,503 --> 01:26:58,422
At this point, poetry mostly.
1819
01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,757
It's very strong.
1820
01:27:00,758 --> 01:27:02,550
And you do set design, too?
1821
01:27:02,551 --> 01:27:04,010
- I'm studying.
- RODGERS: Right.
1822
01:27:04,011 --> 01:27:07,972
Well, I'd love to...
read some of your poems.
1823
01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:13,145
Uh... See your sketches. This is my...
This is my private number.
1824
01:27:14,647 --> 01:27:15,731
I'm flattered.
1825
01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:19,943
I haven't seen Dorothy around.
Is... Is... Is your wife here?
1826
01:27:19,944 --> 01:27:22,320
No, she's headed back to the apartment.
We're all going to meet up there
1827
01:27:22,321 --> 01:27:24,280
to look at the late reviews, Larry.
1828
01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:27,784
Yeah, so I'd love for you
to join us, Elizabeth.
1829
01:27:27,785 --> 01:27:30,703
It would be refreshing to have someone
of the younger generation amongst us.
1830
01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,789
And maybe you can
explain to me, Elizabeth,
1831
01:27:32,790 --> 01:27:35,334
why exactly the young girls
scream over Sinatra.
1832
01:27:35,960 --> 01:27:37,752
I don't scream over Sinatra.
1833
01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:39,879
No, she screams under Sinatra.
1834
01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:41,673
Okay, Larry!
1835
01:27:41,674 --> 01:27:43,216
[ALL LAUGHING]
1836
01:27:43,217 --> 01:27:45,426
Larry, of course, you're welcome to come.
1837
01:27:45,427 --> 01:27:49,180
Oh, I'm going to try to make it, I'm just
throwing a little soirée over at my place.
1838
01:27:49,181 --> 01:27:50,640
I've got the Golden Gate Quartet coming...
1839
01:27:50,641 --> 01:27:54,519
Well, I can't compete with Larry
in the soirée department.
1840
01:27:54,520 --> 01:27:56,688
- I'd love to stop over.
- You would?
1841
01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:58,314
MAN: Dick, you coming?
1842
01:27:58,315 --> 01:27:59,774
Yep, yep.
1843
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,067
Do you have a ride?
1844
01:28:01,068 --> 01:28:02,777
You know what,
I can take her in a cab later.
1845
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:04,487
We're going right now
if you want to come with us?
1846
01:28:04,488 --> 01:28:06,198
- I'd love to.
- RODGERS: Great.
1847
01:28:06,991 --> 01:28:09,367
Just let me inform my mom.
1848
01:28:09,368 --> 01:28:11,244
The dutiful daughter.
1849
01:28:11,245 --> 01:28:12,246
[RODGERS CHUCKLES]
1850
01:28:14,039 --> 01:28:17,418
RODGERS: Wow. She is...
She is so lovely, right?
1851
01:28:18,585 --> 01:28:20,461
She's really striking.
1852
01:28:20,462 --> 01:28:22,839
Are you... Are you and she...
1853
01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:26,760
Oh, no, no. I mean, I'm in love with her,
1854
01:28:27,428 --> 01:28:30,347
but, uh, everybody's in love with her.
1855
01:28:31,557 --> 01:28:33,349
Just not that way.
1856
01:28:33,350 --> 01:28:34,435
Okay.
1857
01:28:38,522 --> 01:28:39,648
HART: Hmm.
1858
01:28:41,734 --> 01:28:42,735
[HART SIGHS SOFTLY]
1859
01:28:44,028 --> 01:28:45,570
So we'll see you later on tonight?
1860
01:28:45,571 --> 01:28:46,905
Absolutely.
1861
01:28:48,907 --> 01:28:50,492
[CHUCKLES] Mmm-hmm.
1862
01:28:51,493 --> 01:28:52,661
Hmm.
1863
01:28:53,871 --> 01:28:55,247
Thank you for everything.
1864
01:28:56,957 --> 01:28:58,583
Mr. Rodgers.
1865
01:28:58,584 --> 01:28:59,918
Miss Weiland.
1866
01:29:02,004 --> 01:29:03,047
Thank you.
1867
01:29:03,839 --> 01:29:05,299
And we'll see you later, Larry, right?
1868
01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:12,890
"With a song in my heart,
I behold your adorable face!"
1869
01:29:25,235 --> 01:29:27,696
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1870
01:29:35,245 --> 01:29:38,581
You ever meet someone,
and you know instantly
1871
01:29:38,582 --> 01:29:42,877
that both your lives
are going to be irretrievably altered?
1872
01:29:42,878 --> 01:29:46,923
Just as I suspected.
You are a sentimentalist.
1873
01:29:46,924 --> 01:29:48,841
[HART LAUGHS]
1874
01:29:48,842 --> 01:29:50,134
When do you get off work?
1875
01:29:50,135 --> 01:29:51,761
I got to lock this joint up.
1876
01:29:51,762 --> 01:29:54,680
Ah, what about you, Knuckles,
you're done here, right?
1877
01:29:54,681 --> 01:29:56,140
Not yet.
1878
01:29:56,141 --> 01:29:59,770
Oh, 'cause I am throwing an enormous party
at my place tonight.
1879
01:30:00,854 --> 01:30:02,022
[SIGHS]
1880
01:30:02,898 --> 01:30:04,733
I forgot to give her the presents.
1881
01:30:06,151 --> 01:30:07,860
[SIGHS]
1882
01:30:07,861 --> 01:30:10,113
I'm having such trouble
with sleeves recently.
1883
01:30:10,114 --> 01:30:12,407
I have arthritis in this shoulder.
1884
01:30:13,367 --> 01:30:15,244
I'm going to have to start
wearing a cloak.
1885
01:30:15,869 --> 01:30:19,832
I mean it. Single-handedly,
I'm going to bring back the cloak.
1886
01:30:21,166 --> 01:30:22,209
[HART SIGHS]
1887
01:30:23,544 --> 01:30:24,669
[CLICKS TONGUE]
1888
01:30:24,670 --> 01:30:30,174
You're going to see me
on opening nights with a top hat
1889
01:30:30,175 --> 01:30:35,139
and a cloak, flitting through the fog
with a silver-tipped cane.
1890
01:30:35,931 --> 01:30:38,057
You boys are coming tonight, right?
1891
01:30:38,058 --> 01:30:41,228
She's going to be there.
I'm telling you, she will.
1892
01:30:41,854 --> 01:30:43,229
She'll arrive late.
1893
01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:47,483
And get this,
'cause this is the remarkable part,
1894
01:30:47,484 --> 01:30:51,070
sometime late, maybe around 5:00 a.m.,
1895
01:30:51,071 --> 01:30:53,489
after a little too much Malbec,
1896
01:30:53,490 --> 01:30:56,659
she's going to turn to me and say,
1897
01:30:56,660 --> 01:30:59,871
"Hey, Larry, what are you reading?
1898
01:30:59,872 --> 01:31:02,290
"Hey, Larry, when's your birthday?"
1899
01:31:02,291 --> 01:31:05,001
For the first time in her life,
1900
01:31:05,002 --> 01:31:08,964
she's going to be interested in me.
1901
01:31:09,798 --> 01:31:12,049
It has to happen sometime, right?
1902
01:31:12,050 --> 01:31:14,385
All the other guys have disappointed her.
1903
01:31:14,386 --> 01:31:17,514
But I never will. I'm just...
1904
01:31:18,557 --> 01:31:20,976
a little touch of Larry in the night.
1905
01:31:22,561 --> 01:31:25,104
Knuckles. Some travelin' music.
1906
01:31:25,105 --> 01:31:27,149
[PLAYING PIANO]
1907
01:31:29,568 --> 01:31:30,569
MORTY: [SINGING] Blue moon
1908
01:31:32,863 --> 01:31:36,200
You saw me standing alone
1909
01:31:36,825 --> 01:31:37,825
Wise guy.
1910
01:31:37,826 --> 01:31:41,205
Without a dream in my heart
1911
01:31:42,873 --> 01:31:45,918
Without a love of my own
1912
01:31:47,211 --> 01:31:51,381
Well, it's a helluva lot better than
The Surrey With the Fucking Fringe On Top.
1913
01:31:52,174 --> 01:31:55,260
Larry, you coming uptown
to Dick's with us?
1914
01:31:55,427 --> 01:31:57,971
Oh, no, you go on ahead,
I'll be up there later.
1915
01:31:59,014 --> 01:32:03,476
MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
You knew just what I was there for
1916
01:32:03,477 --> 01:32:07,355
{\an8}You heard me saying a prayer for
1917
01:32:07,356 --> 01:32:08,689
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1918
01:32:08,690 --> 01:32:12,026
Someone I really could care for
1919
01:32:12,027 --> 01:32:16,447
That's not bad. Triple feminine rhymes,
and they all make sense.
1920
01:32:16,448 --> 01:32:19,284
MORTY: [SINGING]
And then suddenly you appeared before me
1921
01:32:20,410 --> 01:32:23,997
MORTY AND RENEE: [SINGING]
The only one my arms will ever hold
1922
01:32:25,082 --> 01:32:27,458
And I heard somebody whisper
1923
01:32:27,459 --> 01:32:29,669
Please adore me
1924
01:32:29,670 --> 01:32:34,757
And when I looked
The moon had turned to gold
1925
01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:36,426
Blue moon
1926
01:32:43,809 --> 01:32:48,563
Larry, I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
1927
01:32:49,147 --> 01:32:50,565
"Isn't it romantic?"
1928
01:32:51,441 --> 01:32:52,609
Not really, no.
1929
01:32:56,655 --> 01:32:59,991
You know, it wasn't even supposed to
be called Blue Moon.
1930
01:32:59,992 --> 01:33:03,452
I called it The Bad in Every Man.
1931
01:33:03,453 --> 01:33:06,330
We wrote it for this movie,
Manhattan Melodrama.
1932
01:33:06,331 --> 01:33:10,334
Jack Robbins, formerly "Rabinowitz,"
he had his name circumcised over at MGM,
1933
01:33:10,335 --> 01:33:12,336
he hears the song,
he calls us into his office,
1934
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:14,005
he lowers his pastrami, says...
1935
01:33:14,006 --> 01:33:17,091
[IN NASAL VOICE]
"Dick, I love the melody.
1936
01:33:17,092 --> 01:33:19,552
"Strong as anything you've ever written.
1937
01:33:19,553 --> 01:33:24,015
"But, Larry, those words,
they're too artsy-fartsy!
1938
01:33:24,016 --> 01:33:27,518
"They're not too artsy-fartsy for me.
I know how brilliant you guys are.
1939
01:33:27,519 --> 01:33:30,062
"But you have to write
for the schmucks in the dark.
1940
01:33:30,063 --> 01:33:31,647
"Nobody's going to sing that lyric."
1941
01:33:31,648 --> 01:33:33,399
[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I said,
"What's wrong with it?"
1942
01:33:33,400 --> 01:33:36,319
He said... [IN NASAL VOICE] "I can't even
remember the fucking title!
1943
01:33:36,320 --> 01:33:39,238
"Boys, give me
something I can promote."
1944
01:33:39,239 --> 01:33:41,657
[IN NORMAL VOICE] So I say,
"What do you want me to call it?"
1945
01:33:41,658 --> 01:33:42,742
Blue Moon?
1946
01:33:42,743 --> 01:33:45,787
Punchline, biggest hit we ever wrote.
1947
01:33:46,538 --> 01:33:48,540
[SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1948
01:34:03,972 --> 01:34:05,974
[THIS FUNNY WORLD PLAYING]
1949
01:36:27,574 --> 01:36:29,576
[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]