1 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,559 Hey, kiddo. 2 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:23,565 So, I gotcha a matcha. 3 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,317 - I'm good. - You seem good. 4 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,364 So, the police would like us to come down to the station soon. 5 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,824 Maybe you want to throw on some socks and shoes. 6 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,786 Or, not socks. That's fine. 7 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,497 Even if I did burn his house down on purpose, 8 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,040 no jury would convict me. 9 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,793 Not sure we want to say that sort of thing out loud. 10 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,421 Maybe you wanna practice saying how it was an accident? 11 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,966 I don't need to practice saying the truth. 12 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,217 I like that. 13 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,053 If you don't slip that in, I am going to. 14 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,180 So, did you brush your hair? 15 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,224 - I did. - The back, too? 16 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,310 You know what? I like it. It's good. 17 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,440 Dad, I lost my slipper under the desk. 18 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,067 - Oh. Here you go, sweetie. - Can you kick it to me? 19 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,193 - There you go. - Thank you. 20 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,736 Let's keep our shoes on in here, folks. 21 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,655 There's some creamers. 22 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,240 - I'm good. - I know how this looks, 23 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,742 especially 'cause Arch and I were in a big fight, 24 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,036 and I was pretty pissed off. 25 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,164 Oh, sorry, hold on. I'm just listening and I'm not writing. 26 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,750 Just let me catch up here. Motive, check. 27 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:27,421 Officer, she doesn't have to practice if she is saying the truth. 28 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,880 Do you want me to write that down? 29 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,299 - Mm-hmm. - Anyway… 30 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,469 I took his copy of War and Peace and I lit it on fire. 31 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,764 Sorry, you intentionally burned my first edition Tolstoy? 32 00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:39,850 - I did, yeah. - The Clara Bell translation 33 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,520 is the only one in the English language that has the second epilogue. 34 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,314 Oh, it burned so good. 35 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,316 So then, you did arson a book. 36 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,526 - Arson isn't a verb. - I'm pretty sure it's a verb. 37 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,069 - No, it's not a verb. - It's a verb. 38 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,280 And I am not looking it up, I just have to check… 39 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,741 - It's not a verb, mate. - Checking something else real quick. 40 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,327 I burned the book, but the house was an accident. 41 00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,786 - I swear. - Oh, exactly. 42 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:03,123 Archie, is there anything that you would like to add 43 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,667 that might be helpful for your wife? 44 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:12,591 If Katie says that it was an accident, then it was an accident. 45 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,761 Well, there you go. Case closed. 46 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,181 No, don't do that. Don't tell me how to do my police work. 47 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,642 I don't tell you how to write your Rooster books, do I? 48 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,977 - Okay. - But I'll tell you what, if I did, 49 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,729 I would have the guy do karate. 50 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,064 - Maybe. - Wouldn't that be fun? 51 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,440 - Mm, sure. - You know, just going around, 52 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:29,900 like fighting stuff, like, "Ah!" 53 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,526 - Whoa! - Ah! My trousers. 54 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,696 Man, these are the only trousers I have that didn't burn in the fire. 55 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,032 - "Trousers." - Get some paper towels? 56 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,326 - Oh, yes. Okay. - Please. Christ alive. 57 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,620 You can barely see it. 58 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,793 I wasn't sure if you were gonna have my back, so thanks. 59 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:49,711 Yeah, of course. 60 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,673 I still love you. 61 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,842 Cool. 62 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,928 So, does your dad know that… 63 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,390 that Sunny's been impregnated? 64 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:05,018 Absolutely insane way to distance yourself from it. 65 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,648 No. God, no. It's humiliating enough. 66 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,983 Yeah, I'm not even sure if Sunny's gonna keep it. 67 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,695 It's always sort of one thing or another with her. 68 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,489 Well, would you keep me posted on that? 'Cause I love a good cliffhanger. 69 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,994 Why did you do this to us? 70 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,580 I don't know, maybe I just wanted to be with someone 71 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,873 who thought I was really great again. 72 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,543 - Ew. - Recently, all of our conversations 73 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,170 have been about how I needed to change. 74 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,632 Okay, I know that I am flawed, I'll admit that. 75 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,843 Frankly, my self-awareness has made it 76 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,138 a lot easier for me to forgive you. 77 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,599 I already have, you know? But, I guess the only question is… 78 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,853 will you ever be able to forgive me? 79 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,231 Can we… I wanna back up. 80 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,441 Did you… 81 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,444 You forgive me? 82 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:58,196 I do. 83 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,948 I mean, who hasn't gone a little crazy 84 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,533 - after a bad breakup? - Well. 85 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,952 - That's what Katie's going through. - Yeah, that's true. 86 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,373 I had a prom date stand me up, and I dropped out of high school. 87 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:09,666 - Oh. - Yeah, went out on the road 88 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,042 following Limp Bizkit around. 89 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,669 - Really? - Yeah. 90 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,922 Guess how many times they called me up on stage? 91 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,592 - Seventeen. - Seventeen? 92 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,053 You ever seen anybody get called up on stage 17 times? 93 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,973 That's an outrageously high number. 94 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,059 I was called on stage three times. 95 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,061 - Katie's a really good kid. - Ah! 96 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,855 - Whoa! - You stupid fuck. 97 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,316 You're lucky he didn't leave his gun in here. 98 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,943 Oh, actually, I did. I'm just gonna yoink that… 99 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:38,653 - Oh! Heads up! - Jesus Christ! 100 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,573 Gun on the floor. You know, I never put it back right. 101 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,450 That's the main… There we go. 102 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,185 Before we get started, 103 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,270 submissions for The Ludlow Review are open, 104 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,523 so get us your poems and short stories. 105 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,568 I can tell you, nothing feels better than seeing your work in print. 106 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,070 My first published piece 107 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,405 is still taped on my dad's refrigerator 108 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,699 next to a Georgia Bulldogs magnet 109 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,994 and the number of a plumber who died about six years ago. 110 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,330 My stuff's not going on the fridge. 111 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:34,042 'Cause I write about real life. And in real life, I pull. 112 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,294 - Hmm? - I'm talking threesomes. 113 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,797 Girl-on-girl, milf, dilf, Eli. 114 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,924 - What's that? - You wanna get pegged? 115 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,300 - Okay. - I have asthma. 116 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,802 Okay, well, bring your nebulizer. 117 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,262 Eva. Heel, girl. 118 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,056 Okay, diving back into Emily Dickinson. 119 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,767 Hey, Walt. 120 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,185 Got you a double espresso in a big cup. 121 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,979 Ah, thank you. 122 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,982 I think our favorite barista might have cut her own bangs. 123 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,692 Something is deeply off. 124 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,527 I can't worry about Beverly right now. 125 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,572 We just heard about a new Green Initiative, and he's… 126 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:06,533 The trustees are shoving a very complicated policy down my throat. 127 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,702 Okay, you wanna take one of our coffee walks? You can vent. 128 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,454 I don't know. 129 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,956 - Good morning, Dean Riggs. - Hi. 130 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,083 Oh, Professor Shepard. Hi, buddy. 131 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,252 Cristle, can you send me a student file? 132 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,297 Gracie Shaw. She says she has ADHD. 133 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,966 But I think she's just lazy and a little dumb. 134 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,593 Or she's really struggling. 135 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,636 Let's all root for her. 136 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,931 How are you friends with this guy? 137 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,725 We're not close. I keep him at arm's length. 138 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,643 You two are having dinner tonight at 7:30. 139 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,896 Thank you, Cristle. 140 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,314 Oh. My bad. 141 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,899 Hey, Walt? Can we talk for… 142 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,234 Oh. Oh. Hi. How you doing? 143 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,820 - Great. - Great. 144 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,280 How'd you sleep? 145 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,657 - How did I sleep? - Yeah. Mm. 146 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,951 - I'm gonna go. - Alright. 147 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,203 - May I ask you a question? - Yes, come. What can I do for you, Greg? 148 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,580 Well, this is about Katie. 149 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,248 Fire away. Just don't ask how I slept. 150 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,292 That was bone-chilling. What's the deal there? 151 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,461 - Nothing, there was no deal. - Oh, please. 152 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,963 There was an undeniable sexual energy in that room. 153 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,673 I thought I was in Latin America. 154 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,050 But I know, I know. 155 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,635 You're a gentleman, you don't kiss and tell. 156 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,303 We didn't kiss. 157 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,473 So, you wanted to, but she said no? 158 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,351 Oh. 159 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,811 She wanted to, but you said no. 160 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,104 How are you doing this? 161 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,814 It's all in the microexpressions. 162 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:21,733 Come on now, give me the… 163 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,652 Give me the goss, and we'll get onto your thing. 164 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:27,280 No, I'm here because I wanna make sure that Katie's job is safe. 165 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,909 Well, her job is absolutely not safe. She burned down a historic faculty house. 166 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,452 That was an accident! 167 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,663 She also assaulted a professor down at the police precinct? 168 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,206 That was on purpose. 169 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,749 To be clear, I like Katie. 170 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,125 But I am also tasked 171 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:43,463 with protecting this institution, and I'm struggling with that. 172 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,257 Good news. Struggle's over. 173 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,926 Katie resigned. 174 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,678 No, she didn't. 175 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,015 Wow, that is big font. 176 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:59,813 Let me talk to her before you do anything. Please. As a friend? 177 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,148 Friends share secrets, Greg. 178 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,274 Really? 179 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,154 Alright. 180 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,074 I think Dylan found me charming. 181 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,286 - Now, we're cooking, Greg. - We're so not cooking. 182 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,000 Ah. 183 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,960 Privet, mamochka. 184 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,712 What happened to your eye and pants? 185 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:28,508 Funny story about that. I was walking down Stone Hill, and I fell. 186 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,759 - Hilarious. - Yeah. 187 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,428 So, I got your text. What's up? You okay? 188 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,097 Yes. I told you I was pregnant, right? 189 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,348 Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,891 No one gets my jokes. 191 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,437 Listen, I just want you to know, Sunny, that it's such a big decision. 192 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,855 And whatever it is you decide to do… 193 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,023 I'm keeping it. 194 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,859 Oh. Great. 195 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,945 I know there are a million reasons I shouldn't have this baby. 196 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,363 I was supposed to go to Burning Man. 197 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,032 I think you'd love Burning Man. 198 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,617 But no matter how hard I try to not want it… 199 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,911 I find that I still do. 200 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,371 Absolutely. 201 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,416 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. 202 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,710 That's… This is… It's just… This is a lot. 203 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:06,254 I know. It's a lot for me, too. 204 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,757 But I've got an interview 205 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,383 for an internship in, like, an hour. 206 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,927 So, if you could just pretend to be all in… 207 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,554 - Oh. - …I'd really appreciate that. 208 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,015 I am, 100%. 209 00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,851 Ah, it feels like 80, but I'll take it. 210 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,150 And now, my mom has to go to the hospital again. 211 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,027 So, we have to do all this kind of testing, 212 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,570 and she hates needles. 213 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,405 - It's, like, really stressful… - That's amazing. BRB. 214 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,491 It just like… Okay, yeah. 215 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,367 Oh! Hey, Professor Bates. 216 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,078 What is going on with your pants? 217 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,288 - Whatever it is, I love it. - Has it ever felt like 218 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,625 everything you've ever worked for is just slipping through your fingers? 219 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,044 - Yeah. - You know, I was gonna spend 220 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,589 the next six months working on my book. 221 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,132 I mean, I'm not kidding myself. 222 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:53,051 I know that, I know that geopolitical nonfiction 223 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,345 isn't exactly the recipe for a sexy bestseller, 224 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,888 but I just think the people who would love it 225 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,765 - would really love it. - I would love it. 226 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,518 Instead, I'll be making runs to Costco for… 227 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,812 rotisserie chicken in a Toyota Sienna. 228 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,230 Oh, my mom has a Sienna. 229 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,065 You can open the trunk with your foot. 230 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,733 Ah. 231 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,154 I'm sorry to dump all this on your shoulders… 232 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,073 - Gina. - Gina. Yeah. 233 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,908 You can dump anything on my shoulders. 234 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,160 Beg your pardon? 235 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,537 Not you, Roland, sorry. 236 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,290 Hello. Right. 237 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:28,044 So, I go down to the front desk because I locked myself out again. 238 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,506 - Yeah. - And they hand me a ladle 239 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,176 with a key on it that opens all of the doors. 240 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,679 - How cute is this town? - I know what you're doing. 241 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,390 - Don't bother, my mind is made up. - Not doing anything. 242 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,058 New England, believe the hype. 243 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,852 Oh my gosh, what is this? 244 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,436 It's a year-round Christmas store. 245 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,982 It is a year-round Christmas store. How can it stay in business? 246 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,483 Because it has amazing hot chocolate. 247 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,277 Dad, I need to go somewhere 248 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,279 so I can have a fresh start without all the noise. 249 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,362 Are you kidding me? 250 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,447 Dad. 251 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,740 Oh, my God. 252 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,660 They give you a peppermint stick to stir it with. 253 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,037 Do you think I don't know about the fucking peppermint sticks? 254 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:05,373 I've lived here for three years. I love those sticks. 255 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,751 Then, don't give up just because of one tiny little setback. 256 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,796 Okay, several major, terrible setbacks. 257 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,590 Are you kidding? 258 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,967 Mom left you five years ago, and you gave up like that. 259 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,178 At least I'm planning on starting over. 260 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:21,681 I'm not moving to Florida to hide from life, it's pathetic. 261 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,726 - Mm. - Oh, my God. 262 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,186 That was way too mean. I'm sorry. 263 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,521 - It's okay. - I'm sorry, that was so mean. 264 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,445 By the way, I'm not hiding. 265 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,032 I am also collecting shells, 266 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,368 and I'm thinking about joining a cult. 267 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,621 I'm expanding The Ludlow Review. 268 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,581 Instead of one issue, I'm putting together two. 269 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,709 Winter and spring. I need your budgetary approval. 270 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,462 What an unladylike way to ask. 271 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,672 The new student center drained the endowment, 272 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,466 so the purse strings are fairly tight right now. 273 00:11:56,549 --> 00:12:00,553 I'm sure they are, but the Review is a cornerstone of the arts program. 274 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:04,390 The poetry department is one of the things that attracts students to the institution. 275 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,935 Oh, I know, it's huge. All the freshmen show up 276 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,895 wearing the jerseys of their favorite poets. 277 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,897 E.E. Cummings! 278 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,441 This prehistoric fucker. 279 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,443 Hey, let's go. Cristle said you got 20 minutes 280 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,028 - for a coffee walk. - Fifteen! 281 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,572 - Thank you, Cristle. - I just got into it with Riggs, 282 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,157 and I need to tell you about it, just in case 283 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,034 he tries to undercut me at your little dinner tonight. 284 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,662 Yeah, fine, fine. But then I wanna hear 285 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,456 every sordid detail about you throwing yourself at Greg. 286 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,124 - Excuse me? - I respect it. 287 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,419 Shoot your shot. I would. The man's a silver fox, for God's sake. 288 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,756 I know I've only been here a couple of days, 289 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,758 but I am really gonna miss this place. 290 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,593 I never took the cock. 291 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,972 Well, I'm sure that is a fun topic 292 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,974 for you and your gal pal friends, but I don't think 293 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,267 - I wanna hear about that. - Come on. 294 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,685 It's the weather vane. 295 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,561 - Oh! - It's a tradition here. 296 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,105 One of the professors takes that, 297 00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,232 hides it on the campus, and then if a student finds it, 298 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,401 everyone gets the day off. 299 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,194 I just wish I'd done it once. 300 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,613 Honey, then just stay and do it. 301 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,865 Yeah? Come on. 302 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:04,993 Wow. 303 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,206 I've never seen her look like that. 304 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,959 At least now we know what makes her special. 305 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,837 - Dude. What? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 306 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,006 You're the one who said it would make more sense 307 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,925 if you knew how she was special, and now we know. 308 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,386 Don't let that derail you. You are a rock star. 309 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,263 - You keep saying that, Dad, but I'm not. - You are a rock star. 310 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,514 - Yeah, you are. - I'm a loser. 311 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,224 No, honey. Gosh, you're not… 312 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,518 - Sweetie, you're not a loser. - I am a loser. 313 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,520 And I'm done with this place, okay? Go get your cocoa. 314 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,355 I know that's what you've been thinking about, anyway. 315 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,108 I'm not thinking about a cocoa, honey. 316 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,365 Walt. She's in. Katie's not leaving. 317 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,993 - Oh, that's great news, Greg. - Here you go. 318 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,954 - Thank you, Beverly. - Yeah. 319 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,457 Definitely an issue there. 320 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:53,958 - Happy about Katie. - Ah. 321 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,461 The local police officer is somewhat overzealous, 322 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,380 but I'll just have him to the hothouse and I will talk to him. 323 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,675 Katie is going to have to write an apology to the board, but… 324 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,303 Let's clean up our trash, please, boys and girls. 325 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,847 But she can blame the whole thing on women stuff. 326 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,557 Hormones, wrong meds. 327 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,684 Mm, she will love that. 328 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,021 And after a short suspension, she will be good to go. 329 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:18,274 Thank you. Very grateful. Thank you, Walt. 330 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,194 Did you know Teddy Roosevelt saved American football? 331 00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,696 - No. - In 1905, 332 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,823 twenty college football players died. 333 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,658 Teddy summoned all of the coaches 334 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,869 down to the White House, where he helped evolve the game, 335 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,579 saving America's pastime. 336 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,122 Do you know why I'm telling you this? 337 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,291 No, but I bet it'll hit me later. 338 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,960 Our finest president wasn't being selfless. 339 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,921 He wanted his son to play for Harvard 340 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,507 without getting his skull cracked. He… 341 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,842 got something out of it. 342 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:50,056 Walt, if there is ever anything that I can do for you, 343 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,349 say the word. 344 00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,101 Take the writer-in-residence gig. 345 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,144 - Oh… no. - Come on. 346 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,021 It's just till the end of the semester. 347 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,816 It'll be a feather in my cap to have a bestselling author 348 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,567 that the parents have actually heard of. 349 00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,569 - Very flattering, but. - Do me a favor, Greg. 350 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:07,698 Take a look at that. Your ex-wife's name is on our brand-new student center. 351 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,826 You are practically family here. 352 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,411 Mm, that's a stretch. 353 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:15,790 Plus, I'm not really offering you a choice. 354 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,792 This is a deal point. 355 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,378 - Really? - Really. 356 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,762 My hand is not usually this warm. 357 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,597 It's because of the hot cocoa. 358 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,226 Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Alright. 359 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,309 Settle down. 360 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,481 I just had the funniest, crazy thing. It's… 361 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,153 Hello. So, when we left off, 362 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:48,781 Lenin was about to overthrow the Romanov dynasty… 363 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,912 So sorry, the maddest thing just happened. 364 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:58,082 I have a friend, Roland. He's actually my old roommate at uni. 365 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,667 Oh, you went to Cambridge, right? 366 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,087 Yes, I did. Someone's been listening. 367 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:08,301 He wants me, little old Archie, to be a talking head on BBC News tomorrow. 368 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:13,556 Apparently, I am a "major voice in UK-Russian relations." 369 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,391 Not my words, Your Honor. 370 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,059 Oh, man. I mean, I can't. 371 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,644 We've got class. I couldn't. 372 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:19,728 - What? - Yeah. Oh, no. 373 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,855 I couldn't do that to you guys. 374 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,273 - You have to do it. - I shouldn't. 375 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,608 - Come on! Yes. - Should I? 376 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,984 Yes! 377 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,986 - Yeah? What do you think? - Yeah. 378 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,571 - Liv? - Yeah, you're gonna slay. 379 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,156 Absolutely. Benji, what do you reckon? 380 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,783 Shut the fuck up, Benji. Come on, mate. 381 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,994 So, good. Good, yeah? Good? 382 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,042 Thanks for letting me pretend that I needed to be convinced, anyway. 383 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,544 Okay, let's get back to Comrade Lenin 384 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,088 and slaughtering those bloody Romanov girls, then, shall we? 385 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,481 - Here you go, guys. - Ooh, bacon! 386 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:04,815 Enjoy. 387 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,234 Thanks, dude. 388 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,034 - You good, man? - Ah, I don't know, Tommy. 389 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:20,206 My daughter's going through something. She's not handling it well. 390 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,916 Yeah, I meant, are you done? 391 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,668 Oh, yes. Yeah, you can… 392 00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,545 You can give it to your animal friends over there. 393 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,531 Sweet. 394 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,048 - Gentlemen. - Mm. 395 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,633 Mm. Ketchup. 396 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,969 Maybe I'm just not the greatest dad. 397 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,513 Oh, we're still going. Okay. 398 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,890 Yeah, what'd you do? 399 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,059 - Like, neglect her? - No. 400 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,186 - Were you an alcoholic? - What? No. 401 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,188 - Did you, like, abuse her? - My God, no! 402 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,216 - Smack her around a little bit? - No. 403 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,133 - No judgment. - No. 404 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,942 There should be judgment with that. Thank you, guys. 405 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,694 - I can handle it from here. - Yeah, we're good, we don't… 406 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,153 We don't need your help, we're good. 407 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,656 - You, too. - Yeah. Of course. 408 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,118 - Well, well. - Oh. 409 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,245 Thank goodness. A sane person. 410 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,956 Did you tell Walt I tried to have sex with you? 411 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,709 Mm, no. Well, hi. 412 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,919 No. 413 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,798 Not verbally. Have you ever heard of microexpressions? 414 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:16,929 So, you didn't say, and I quote, "Dylan found me quite charming"? 415 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,264 What? 416 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,224 Yes, I did, I said that. 417 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,394 I said those exact words, but not in a braggy way. 418 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,979 Say it in a non-braggy way. 419 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,941 Dylan found me quite charming. 420 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,359 No human being talks like that. 421 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,988 I did brag. I was practically beating my chest. 422 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,906 I'm sorry. 423 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,284 - How can I make it up to you? - Buy me breakfast. 424 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,870 Done. Tommy? Tommy, I need you. 425 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,627 Oh, bollocks. 426 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,631 Ah, cock in hell. 427 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,466 But what do we trade it for? 428 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,428 I keep answering for you, and I don't want to keep doing that. 429 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,597 I feel like I'm screaming into a well. 430 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,934 You know, Elizabeth was right. 431 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:08,481 Anytime Katie had a problem, I would swoop in. 432 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,232 - I am a swooper. - Mm. 433 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,526 So, you were basically always there for her? 434 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:13,736 - Okay. - Shit. 435 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,488 - Is she okay? - It was too much. 436 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,867 Now, she does not have the toolset to deal with adversity. 437 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,745 She's gonna leave, and there is nothing I can do about it. 438 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,538 Greg, I wanna tell you a story. 439 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,499 It isn't about Teddy Roosevelt, is it? 440 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,501 No. It's about me. 441 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,169 - Oh, good. - When I was a kid, 442 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,254 I got accepted into the University of Georgia. 443 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,923 - Mm, the Bulldogs. - Mm-hmm. 444 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,675 Twenty minutes from my home. No-brainer. 445 00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:37,718 But then I also got into Brown. 446 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:40,304 And that's super far away. 447 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,264 And I was scared that all of the other kids 448 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,641 were gonna be smarter than I was. 449 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,102 - Mm-hmm. - So, I chose Georgia. 450 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,437 One morning, my dad plops two tickets into my lap 451 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,606 nonstop to Providence, Rhode Island. 452 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,358 Neither of us had been out of the state, 453 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:55,486 and I was just super excited to go on a trip, so off we went. 454 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,614 Yeah, we traveled all the time when Katie was a kid. 455 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,283 She's been everywhere. She loved Prague. 456 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,785 She used to call it "Pwag." 457 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,955 - You weren't done, were you? - When we got to Providence… 458 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:06,982 Okay. 459 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,333 …instantly, I knew I had to go to Brown. 460 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,043 And so, I did. 461 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,754 - Hmm. - Be like my dad. 462 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,131 Find a way in. 463 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,590 Doesn't matter what it is, 464 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,634 just something to let her know you give a shit. 465 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:32,565 Come on. Come on. Come on. 466 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,320 What am I doing? This is stupid. 467 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,905 Oh. Come on. 468 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:42,658 No, no, no, no, no, no! 469 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,037 I got it! 470 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,290 - Ouch! - Okay, quit squirming. 471 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,542 - I'm almost done. - God. 472 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,879 Katie burned all my clothes, she punched me in the eye, 473 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,464 and I'm the one who's gonna look like an idiot 474 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,716 in front of millions of people. It's just not fair. 475 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,176 So, Katie did that? 476 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,637 You didn't tell me. 477 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,140 Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay, yes, fine. 478 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,516 She did it, yes. 479 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,643 And this whole thing is such a bloody mess. 480 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,103 - Mm. - Do you know, I sneak out 481 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,522 of this hotel every morning to avoid running into her dad, 482 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,191 who is, of course, staying here, 483 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,568 eating every single last one of their bar nuts. 484 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,279 God, that man loves nuts. 485 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,864 Lots of people love nuts. I love nuts. 486 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,783 God, why is this happening to me? 487 00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,785 Is that rhetorical, or do you want an actual answer? 488 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,369 I can take it. 489 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747 I think it's because some people see you 490 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,208 as a narcissistic asshole with a punchable face. 491 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,752 - Case in point. - Do people see me that way? 492 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,045 Some people do. 493 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,963 - Do you see me that way? - No. 494 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,716 Not all the time. 495 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:44,595 I mean, you're choosing to stay at a hotel instead of my apartment, 496 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:48,224 and some people might find that perplexing. 497 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:52,353 You have a roommate, and, you know, moving in is a big step. 498 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,522 We're having a child together. 499 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:58,234 Okay, well, if I'm such a total bastard, why would you even wanna be with me? 500 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,778 Well, at first, mostly your face. 501 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:03,531 But then, also your mind, and that accent. 502 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,408 Seriously, it's like having sex with Paddington Bear. 503 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:10,120 - And that does it for me. - Well, a wise bear 504 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,164 always has a marmalade sandwich underneath his hat. 505 00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,583 - What are you talking about? - It's just what the bear says. 506 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,085 Look, every human is a mixed bag. 507 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,962 We all have our good qualities and our terrible ones, 508 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,047 and neuroscience tells us our brains have plasticity. 509 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,715 That means through repetition and intention, 510 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,259 we decide who we're gonna become. 511 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:25,219 And you? I think you're at a crossroads. 512 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:27,221 But I think you are going to step up 513 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,390 and become the man I know you're capable of being. 514 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,477 - And what if I don't? - Well, then I move on. 515 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,855 There, all done. Anything else? 516 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:37,982 - A bold lip, perhaps? - I think I'm good. 517 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:40,860 Coward. I'm going back to class. 518 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:47,658 Oh. 519 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,826 Huh? 520 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,122 - You took it? - Yeah, I did. 521 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,378 You did the one thing I never did to make me feel worse? 522 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,839 Hmm. Okay. 523 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:05,843 Look, I know you didn't like it 524 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:08,178 when I called you a rock star, but you are. 525 00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:09,638 - Please don't. - You are. 526 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,223 Get over it. 527 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:15,269 But recently, you have been doing some stuff that's a little loser-ish. 528 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,230 I know, because I have been there. 529 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,107 Lack of game recognizes lack of game. 530 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,275 Ugh. 531 00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:25,446 Katie, you were right about me. I didn't bounce back. 532 00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:30,242 And I am not resilient. And I hope I didn't pass that down to you. 533 00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,245 Come on. You love this place. 534 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,958 The only thing you need to do to stay is to be brave. 535 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,755 And to write a letter that says that you're mentally ill. 536 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,423 - Jesus Christ. - Ack. 537 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:49,678 Help me write it. 538 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,473 The Elizabeth Stoddard Student Center just opened. 539 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,807 You'll notice, right behind you, 540 00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,478 we kept the original brick facade from 1821. 541 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,772 - Cristle said you were here. - Thank you. 542 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,148 You know, I hate this damn building. 543 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,067 - Ah. - They took a classic example 544 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:06,362 of Neo-Gothic architecture and slapped a greenhouse on it. 545 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:07,389 Well, they also added 546 00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:08,489 - a smashburger place. - Exactly. 547 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,699 We're sacrificing tradition for what? 548 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,410 More fat kids? We damn sure got plenty of those. 549 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:14,995 No, no. Not out loud. 550 00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,830 - Thank you. - Okay. 551 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:18,832 What brought all this on? 552 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:20,960 - Rough dinner with Dean Riggs. - Mm. 553 00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:22,628 And I had to tell him we were cutting his budget. 554 00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,090 It just feels like this is my whole job now. 555 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,716 People come and ask me for things 556 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,843 that they really care about, I have to say no, 557 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,887 and then they hold it against me. 558 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,181 Okay, your real friends know that this comes with the gig. 559 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,392 - We're not gonna hold it against you. - Hope so. 560 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,397 I have to move The Ludlow Review online. 561 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,816 It's part of our Green Initiative. 562 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,609 Every year we print it, it just winds up 563 00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:48,070 littered all over campus like a paper factory exploded. 564 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,196 Walt, you can't do that. 565 00:24:49,279 --> 00:24:51,240 So many people are gonna be upset. 566 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,576 No. The 36 students who get published will be upset. 567 00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,829 Some of their 72 parents, and… 568 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:58,956 and me. 569 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,794 I read it cover to cover every year. 570 00:25:07,423 --> 00:25:09,049 I'm really sorry. 571 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,638 "All of that said, I am truly and profoundly sorry. 572 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,724 My behavior was unhinged, and I…" 573 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,059 - I don't love "unhinged." - Really? 574 00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:21,103 I'm gonna use "overwhelmed." 575 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:22,604 It's your letter. Doesn't have to be great. 576 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,649 But I love it. 577 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,359 Okay, done. 578 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:29,611 - Look at this guy. - Mm. 579 00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,321 - I get to hide him, right? - All yours. 580 00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:33,907 I'm gonna save it for when I need a pick-me-up. 581 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:35,701 Like, first time I see that fucker 582 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,828 - pushing around a stroller. - Mm. 583 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:39,954 Wait, what now? 584 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:51,759 Hi! Hi, I'm so sorry. 585 00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:54,511 - I forgot my key again. - No problem. 586 00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,221 That's happening to you a lot. 587 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,223 I know, I'm so mad at myself! 588 00:25:59,308 --> 00:26:00,851 How do we expect the Russian government 589 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,896 to respond to this bold move from Downing Street? 590 00:26:03,979 --> 00:26:05,898 Well, it's certainly not going to go smoothly, 591 00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,566 that's for sure. 592 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,651 - You got her pregnant?! - No, is that a ladle? 593 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:15,491 Not now! 594 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,117 - Mr. Bates… - It's a big opportunity, Greg! 595 00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:18,577 …you're live on the BBC. 596 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,661 Ow! 597 00:26:21,789 --> 00:26:24,041 - Is that Greg? - Yes. 598 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,167 Fuck him up. 599 00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,046 - Oh! - Oh, my God. 600 00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,214 - Oh! - Oh! 601 00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:33,300 Eli! Eli! 602 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:36,220 Eli, you okay? You need your inhaler? 603 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:49,942 Hey there. 604 00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,443 You got a coffee walk in you? 605 00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:53,779 Can't. I'm really busy. 606 00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:02,371 - Hey. - Hey! 607 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,999 I appreciate you putting all this unfortunate fire business to rest. 608 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:08,794 Oh, yeah. No problem at all. 609 00:27:09,711 --> 00:27:14,049 Say, when you were in the cold plunge, you didn't happen to see my gun, did you? 610 00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,425 - I did not. - It's fine. 611 00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:17,344 I probably left it on my dash. 612 00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:20,889 Ah! Oh! No. 613 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:22,474 I left it at the gun range. 614 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:24,434 Best place to leave a gun. 615 00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:25,894 They're hard to keep track of. 616 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,067 I thought I'd try to be less perplexing. 617 00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:40,659 I'm funnier than people think. 618 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,745 Thank you. Thank you. 619 00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,290 Ugh, this fucking guy. 620 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,083 Hello, Mo. How are you? 621 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,793 What, are you moving in? 622 00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:54,798 Well, thanks for coming to see me off. 623 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:55,883 Yeah. 624 00:27:56,925 --> 00:27:59,469 I'm not, like, crushed that you're leaving. 625 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:00,846 No offense. 626 00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:04,892 But I am really glad that you came. 627 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,060 Me, too. 628 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,480 - I love you. - I love you back. 629 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,276 Bye, Dad. 630 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,029 Bye, sweetie. 631 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,741 - See you Monday! - Wait, what? 632 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,451 Go, go, go! 633 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,266 Bye-bye.