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-[man vocalizing] -[shower running]
Good morning, ladies. And gents.
Look over at your man, now look at me.
Really look at him. And back over to me.
I know. He's just not me.
-[Hawaiian music playing] -But we'll take care of that.
'Cause you want a man who smells of adventure.
That's all good.
Life can be full of fabulous surprises.
Do you want a man who is delicate and virile?
Ready to iron your evening ball gowns,
and prepare you a lovely meal over candlelight?
[chuckles] It can be done.
[birds squawking]
Do you yearn for a man who may brave any and all danger?
[exclaims] Excuse me. I think we have a cobra.
A man…
who will bring you to a new world.
Further beyond your most wild and far-out fantasies.
If you dream of authenticity, of charm, of a romantic life,
awaken the dormant force within him.
Wait no more, m'lady.
[engine revving]
-Offer him… -[male voice-over] French Lover.
[whistling]
[male voice-over] Say "je t'aime" to love.
-[director] And, cut! -[female assistant] And we're cut. Thanks.
-[director] Great, thank you. -[technician] Okay, reset.
[female crew] That was a really good one.
-[director] We're good, thanks. -[female crew] Awesome.
[male crew] That was spot on.
-Great job, everyone. -[female crew] Get changed back there.
[male crew] Moving to the packshot, everyone.
-[male crew 2] Packshot. -[director] Moving to the packshot.
[male crew 2] We're done with the dolly.
[director] Come on, let's move. We're almost done!
You were incredible, Abel. Incredible! The clients are gaga over it.
-It was garbage. Let's be real. -No! You were great.
Excellent, I swear! Sexy--
Why did you force me to take this job?
You make in two days what I make in two years.
I'm a real actor, not a peddler of nasty-ass body spray.
-It's a great product. Plus, it's vegan. -And you stink, buddy boy.
Reminds me of when you hit on Caroline senior year. So gross.
-He's on my ass. No more commercials. -Calm down. I know what's best for you.
I need a proper film. That's best for me. Not a stupid ad, okay?
All the stars do this!
Look at DiCaprio and his shitty Fiat. And Clooney even sells coffee.
All right, but I want to sell perfume, like Dior or Chanel.
-Like Brad Pitt or Louis Latour. -Enough. Stop comparing yourself to him.
No one cares about him.
No one cares? His awards, no one cares about those?
-Okay, but no one knows his name. -Everybody knows his name!
I'm telling you, outside Paris, no one has heard of him.
-Ask in Charentes or Corrèze. -I think Latour was born in Corrèze.
[sighs] Pass me my meds.
-Here. -Thanks.
-What's his daily dosage at? -Oh, it's a lot.
[exhales]
♪ I dream to be the joker My smile is a scar ♪
♪ Ladies, gentlemen You really got me looking mad ♪
INSPIRED BY A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON BY SHIRLY MOSHAIOFF
♪ I come back like a batman, mic check ♪
Oh, my God, that's Zakadi! That's my favorite show!
[giggles] I love that guy.
He's so handsome.
[giggling]
♪ Click on the clickbait, I go viral ♪
♪ Coming up With the bots and the psychos ♪
♪ Ladies and gentlemen, you got me ♪
♪ I'm only here for benefits ♪
-Isn't that Abel Camara? -Oh, my God, it is him!
[excited chattering]
♪ I'm down for it Just tell me who you wanna hit ♪
♪ My hit list won't be getting long As long as I can sing this song ♪
♪ I wrote you in just for the twist I'm done ♪
♪ Lock your door ♪
♪ Coming like a vandalist ♪
Welcome. What can I get you?
A whiskey.
Yamazaki.
Okay, coming right up.
-Yamazaki neat, please. -[phone vibrating]
[sighs]
[phone chiming]
SEX, DRUGS, ALCOHOL… ABEL CAMARA FACES HIS DEMONS
Actually, I'll do a coffee.
What are you doing?
Oh, my bad. I was just-- I'll bring you that coffee.
You filming me?
Um, well, no.
You were filming me.
Where you sending it? Which magazine?
Shame on you!
How's the lighting? I look depressed, or should I lay on some more?
-Sorry, you're being crazy. -Tell me.
-Is there a problem, Abel? -Yes!
I can't sit and relax for five minutes without your little spies all on my ass.
You know what? Look at me.
I'm done. Got it? I'm never coming back.
-What did you do? -Nothing. He's freaking out for no reason.
He's being totally paranoid.
You can't attack people because you're unhappy. You need therapy.
-I'm fine. -You know who you're talking to?
So what? Does that mean I'm supposed to bow down to his every whim?
I'm so sorry, Abel. She's a new hire, plus I think she's on the rag.
-Whoa! I'm sorry? -The rule is the customer is always right.
And Abel even more so.
What? How come?
-You're embarrassing yourself. -I'm not embarrassing. I'm done.
-Be my guest! Get out of my sight! -Fuck.
"The rag," really?
-No one can take a joke. Everyone's so PC. -That's off-limits.
Oh, here. His Yamazaki.
[boss exclaims]
Whoopsie, it slipped. Excuse me, Your Majesty.
Thank you.
Fine, get out!
Go on! You're fired!
What a shame! Ciao, fuckboys!
You shouldn't fire her for that.
Wait! Wait up!
I'm really sorry.
Come on, let's go back. I'll fix it.
[sighs] Forget it. I'm over working for that asshole.
Let me compensate you, at least.
-How much does he pay you? -Are you kidding me? Just let it go.
Let me help out. Come on.
-Please? Can I give you a ride at least? -Pass. No way. You could kidnap me.
Come on, you know who I am. You're safe. Come on.
Straight home, I swear.
Let me give you a lift! It'd be my pleasure.
She said no, so it's no! You're all pests! We've been saying no for years!
-[Abel] Ma'am, I'm just apologizing. -[woman] Doesn't look like it.
-[Abel] I'm making amends! -Twenty-six minutes…
I'll drop you off. Frankly, it's the least I can do.
-Okay, fine. -And there we go.
Typical, nothing's ever gonna change.
-Like a ride, Ma'am? -We should just give up!
-Bye, Ma'am. -["Easy Come, Easy Go" playing]
♪ I'm taking the shade ♪
♪ Out of the sun ♪
ALONE IN SPACE
♪ Whatever made me think That I was number one ♪
♪ I oughta know ♪
So what's your name?
Marion.
[song continues on radio]
-Charming little babe magnet. -[chuckles]
-From the sixties, that's pretty cool. -Uh, '66.
My name's Abel.
[scoffs]
You laughing at me?
No, I'm not laughing at you.
You're just paranoid.
You said that already.
-I'm feeling a bit offended. -People scare you?
Like who?
Everyone?
I'm scared of liars. Fakers. Backstabbers.
-You have bad friends, then. -No.
I'm paranoid.
[chuckles]
♪ Taking it slow ♪
♪ So happy I found I still can smile and dig the show ♪
♪ Letting me know Easy come and easy go… ♪
-It was back there. -Ah.
Well, thanks.
All right.
You want my number?
[stutters] No, thanks, but thank you.
See you.
What do you mean, "no"?
-Hey, Maria! -[scoffs] My name is Marion.
Can you help me out real quick?
Well, no.
Can I come up for two minutes?
I have a meeting and I'm covered in booze.
God, you have no boundaries.
Remember, you ruined my suit.
Fair enough.
[groans] Okay, fine.
-[dog growling] -[Abel sighs]
Eight floors, no elevator.
Nice payback.
Hey, what the hell? No, hey, get that away.
-Back off. -People and dogs scare you?
No, but if you could put that beast away, that'd be great.
-Okay, okay. -Now.
-Off, off, off… -Come on, this way.
Thanks.
-Nice to meet you. -Come on.
Nice place.
[sighs] No. Stay. Good girl.
-Stay. -[sighs]
-[scoffs] -[Marion] Okay, sweetie, I'll be back.
I'll be back.
-Make yourself at home. -Yeah, you got it.
-Grab an ashtray? -Want an espresso with that?
That'd be great.
[exhales] I only do this on occasion.
[coffee machine whirring]
I'm not a pothead.
Don't believe everything they say about me.
But to be transparent, I've been better.
Do what you want, it's fine.
It's because I'm promoting this new movie, a big one.
Gotta do a talk show.
You've got to laugh, joke, giggle, charm…
-[Abel] Here. -Really?
I'm tapped out.
Besides, they only wanna talk about my ex.
But why?
Two months ago, I got dumped. It's all people are interested in.
Damn paparazzi. I can't have a moment's peace.
They're all over me like poop on a pig.
[laughing]
I'm being real here. It's hard.
[Marion gasps] Sorry.
I found out she was cheating through a Google alert.
-Everyone else found out when I did. -Oh. Rough.
Yeah, it's rough.
Me, I'm not exactly thriving. I'm getting a divorce.
If it helps, he left me to shack up with my best friend.
-Two backstabbers. -Wow.
We co-own a restaurant and now I'm banned from it.
-That bastard. -[laughs]
Hate to break it to you, I win the loser award.
[chuckling]
Yeah, I admit, that's pretty bad.
[barking]
-Even the dog agrees. [chuckles] -Her name is Claudine.
[laughing]
[chuckles] What?
Claudine?
-Can't name that beast Claudine. -It's pretty, Claudine.
Yeah, it's pretty for a little fluffy dog.
Seriously, Claudine? [laughs]
God, you're nuts!
[both laughing]
Oh, hang on. Um…
Your shirt, gimme it.
Hmm?
Not like that. That's not what I meant.
-You came so we could clean your suit. -Yes. Yes, that's right.
Can you help me?
Oh, wow, okay. You can't do anything on your own.
Sure I can, but this is hard.
Ah, yes. It's even harder when you are very high.
You see? It's hard.
-No prob. Voilà. -[chuckles]
[chuckling]
-You got pretty eyes, you know. -Oh, I know.
-[chuckles] -I know, I know.
I gave up my career as a model to be a waitress.
I'm serious.
[scoffs]
You're beautiful, but, like, real.
You're pretty…
Pretty for a butterface.
[laughing]
Sorry. Okay. Uh, you wanna give me that?
[phone ringing]
Oh, balls, hang on.
Oh, shit, it's my agent.
She's gonna be pissed off.
-Don't say anything. -No, no.
-Cam, what's good? -What the hell, Abel? We're waiting.
Yeah. Well, I'm headed there right now, so no need to panic.
[Cam] Sure. I'm tracking your location and you aren't moving at all.
Uh… Well, yeah.
Exactly. What are you doing? Care to explain?
Yeah, it's cool. I'm just, you know, meditating.
Meditating? Do you think I'm dumb?
-Me? No. Come on, no! -Do you have a new dealer?
I found a meditation retreat in the projects.
Look, I'm coming.
-That's enough. Get over here now. -Yes.
-Promise? I'm about to-- -See ya.
Well, I'll head out.
Yeah. You should, yeah.
-[chuckles] -See you.
See ya.
What was that?
Whoopsie. I slipped.
[chuckles]
You're not on board?
I am, yeah…
[chuckles]
-[doorbell rings] -[knocking]
-Marion, it's me! Open up! -Fuck, it's Antoine.
Who's Antoine?
-[knocking continues] -He's my husband. Well, my ex.
-You know what I'm saying! -[knocking continues]
-Damn. Your boy's a cop or just crazy? -Hide, now!
-What do you mean hide? -Don't butt into my shit.
-[Antoine] Open up! -Why is he banging?
-I'll put you in with my dog. Hurry! -[Antoine] It's me.
-Hell no! There's a dog. -Come on!
-No. I can go there. -It's fine. There's no space!
-[shushing] -I'm begging you…
She's nice. Get in now!
-Don't move! -[Antoine] Hey!
-[doorbell ringing] -[knocking]
Come on, Marion. Christ!
Finally.
-You napping? -No. Please don't.
-You look tired. -Why do you show up without calling?
-It smells. What are you doing? -[Marion] Nothing.
I'm just sitting down, okay?
[Antoine] You still haven't paid rent.
You got the restaurant. Cut me a little slack.
We agreed to not talk numbers without lawyers.
Where's Claudine?
[Marion] She's in here. Why?
[Antoine] We're going to the beach this weekend, she'll be better there.
Shit.
No, I want her here.
Because you'd be too lonely?
I was already lonely when I was with you.
[Antoine] What's going on? Are you on tranquilizers or something?
You smoked. That's why it smells in here.
-You're letting yourself go. -[Marion] Leave me alone, you're annoying.
You'll never find a boyfriend like that. No guy is gonna--
-What is he-- -Babe, you're not gonna introduce me?
-Uh… -Who's this clown?
But hang on, you're…
I'm Abel Camara, yep. Who the hell are you?
Well, this apartment is under my name.
What are you doing here? I'd like to know--
[sniffs]
-That smell. You smell that? -Uh…
-What? -[sniffing]
[sniffs, grunts]
It's from him.
-Yeah? -It's his breath.
-That's bullshit. -[exclaims]
-Don't bang on women's doors like that. -Uh…
When you do, be presentable. This is terrible.
You dress like wallpaper from the '70s.
-Yeah. -Dated.
And your hair is awful. You've got quite the fivehead, you know.
Get some bangs.
Getting Grand Canyon vibes. It's a full-on thoroughfare.
-That's funny. Super. -It's very funny.
-Nothing to say? -What do you want her to say?
-You're crowding us. -Oh, yeah?
Give us some space, brush your teeth, and leave her alone.
-Gimme a break. -Super.
-See you, Route 66. -Woah, hey, Route--
Later!
-[sighs] -The nerve, trying to humiliate you.
[chuckles]
-Was that okay? -Oh, yeah, it was perfect.
What happened to that force of nature?
I know, but with him, I turn into a mouse.
[clicks tongue]
Okay. I'm running behind. Sorry, I've really got to move. I'm late.
So, see you soon?
Uh… [scoffs] Forget it. You know we'll never meet again.
Yeah, I know. Not much chance.
-But it was cool. -Yeah.
-See you. -See you.
[soft music playing]
Finally. You went all Jimmy Hoffa on us.
-Let's go. -Where were you? What's her name?
-Do I know her? -Let's go.
We were gonna pre-tape the interview, but it's too late.
-You gotta do it live. -That's fine.
-You have to change, too. -Mm-hmm.
-Auntie! -[laughing]
Monkey!
-You doing well, cutie? Yeah? -Yeah.
-Grandma! Auntie's here! Come on, Auntie! -Auntie's here!
-Hi there, my darling. -All good?
-Hello! -Aren't you pretty? Wowser!
Ugh, no. I look like shit. Antoine got a full view.
-Here, I made you a tajine. -Oh, love it.
Thank you!
-[mom] What are you doing? -You saw him?
We agreed you'd stop. What gives?
He showed up at the apartment no warning, the bastard.
So he cheats with your bestie, and on top of it, he's spying?
No, that is harassment. Tell him to keep it up.
We can work with that.
Hey, check out what I bought, Mom.
[gasps]
-It's stunning. -It must be for Jade.
Jealous? Borrow it for your boyfriend.
-I don't have one. -Look.
You will. I gave your number to Pablo and Raphael, my interns, both 23.
-[scoffs] No way. -Yep. And Romain.
He's a nice boy, and cute.
A nice boy, yeah. [scoffs] I'd rather die.
-[mom] You got a photo of Romain? -All right, Dad?
Doing fine. You?
…beloved Zak A Dit.
-How are you, Dad? -I'm fine.
You watch this type of show?
-Hi. -Doing well?
-Yeah. -[host] …and Hold-Up on the Riviera.
He's with us now to chat about his latest film,
-Alone in Space. We've got it all tonight. -Yes.
The scoops, the scandals, and the hot goss.
We know this man's no stranger to the tabloids.
He really is one of a kind. The magnificent Abel Camara.
[applause, cheering]
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
-It's been a minute. -Yes.
You've been scarce in the media these days.
-Maybe a bit. -Okay, I'm obligated to do this:
Zakadi, what's up with you?
[laughs] Well, I'm doing all right.
It's true I went through a rough patch.
-But it's behind me now. -I'd fuck him.
-I'm here with an amazing film… -Pardon?
-[laughing] -[man] You're serious?
-Knock it off. You would too. -No…
-Be for real. Look at that! -I wouldn't!
What the hell are you talking about?
-Yes, that's right. -I don't get the mania.
What, no! Keep it on.
-Hey, keep it on! -Yes! Perfect!
-What do you see in him? It's crazy! -Can't explain. He's irresistible.
-Irresistible? -Yeah!
[man] I just don't get it.
Surely there's a star you'd sleep with if I said you could.
[man] I mean… I don't know, I mean…
Maybe Marilyn Monroe.
I mean a woman who's alive.
-You're cute, it's no fun. -I mean when she was alive!
We all just love this film, so Abel, we've a bit of a surprise for you.
Awesome, my guy loves surprises.
I got a bad feeling.
[host] We ran into someone you know very well
at the Balmain show this afternoon.
Why don't we roll a clip and talk about it?
[female reporter] Behind you! Léna, over here, please!
[female anchor] Léna, you look gorgeous.
Abel Camara is on our show tonight.
Do you have anything you'd like to say to him?
Well, I must say I'm not looking to chime in on Abel,
but if I could give him some advice, it'd be to do what I've done:
move on already. Thanks.
-[female anchor] Very nice. Thank you. -[female reporter] Louis!
-[male reporter 1] Over here! Smile! -[male reporter 2] Mr. Latour, over here!
-Look straight down! -[female reporter] Léna!
[female reporter 2] Right here.
I mean, I imagine you already knew.
Sure did.
Do you have a message or rebuttal?
No. That is… [chuckles]
I'll let you in on a secret.
-I'm about to be 40 soon. -Okay, Abel, stay cool.
That's it, my dove.
And with Léna, it was complicated.
My history with her, I've put it in the past.
And it's much better.
What's this little grin, Abel?
-[laughs] I'm not grinning. -Yes you are.
-Yes, yes, yes… -No.
-I see a smile. You're not telling us. -There's nothing to tell, that's it.
We want to hear all of it.
-[laughs] -[audience cheering]
Come on, Abel.
Fine, I'll tell you.
I've found someone too. A new lady.
-[audience exclaims] -[gasps]
-Ah! Very nice! -That's my guy!
-He's good, he's good. -Yeah. I knew he was getting some ass!
What do you mean? He's making it up, clearly.
She's a mysterious stranger who is going to create a lot of envy.
When can we meet this girl?
Not for a while.
Look, I've already said too much, but…
No, what's certain is…
is that I'm in love.
There.
-[Cam] That was amazing! Wow! -Bullshit. Why did I blurt that out?
Huh? But that was incredible! You're trending!
-Everyone wants to know who you're with. -I panicked and told a stupid lie.
-I'm an idiot. -Stop already. You were a genius!
Let me think on it. I'll find someone.
Let me warn you now, I'm not gonna pretend!
All of Hollywood does!
We just need a girl who's willing to play the game. It's nothing!
There's my cousin from Limoges.
-Sabrina? -Well, yeah!
Are you crazy?
I'm cool with whoever you want! A model, an actress!
We'll say she's a teacher, a baker, an esthetician.
Hey! Sabrina is an esthetician.
The girl is the least of it. We'll create a whole story around her.
My agency just signed a newbie who would jump on this!
-Adeline Blaz. -[snorts] Blaz! Can I call her "Blah"?
-I won't hook up with some random person. -Never had a problem before!
No one's asking you to hook up.
Do a few red carpets with her, and after that, no one'll ask about Léna.
You guys are nuts. I don't want a fake woman playing my fake woman.
So look for a chick who could use a boost.
You can help her out that way. That's a win-win.
-I mean, yes. -That makes sense.
I'm not saying that to pitch Sabrina…
-Relentless. -Okay, great. So I'll take care of it.
Hang on.
["Çukulata Sevgilim" playing]
I think I have an idea.
What? What is it?
-[kids yelling] -Can we be quiet? What are you doing?
[doorbell rings]
Indoor voices, please!
Please be your parents.
-Supwise! -What are you doing here?
You have guests?
Well, it's my niece's birthday party,
and I feel like my head is ready to explode.
Ah, crap, I see. It's a bad time.
Yeah, I'm sorry, it kinda is.
I forgot to ask for your number, and I need help with something.
-I thought, "I've got her address." -[balloon pops]
Oh, my God. Hold on, be right back. That's enough! Stop with the balloons!
I'm gonna blow a fuse.
I'll help if you want.
You know how to calm ten screaming children?
Are you kidding me?
-["Pookie" playing] -[singing along]
Yeah! Let's move!
Come on!
-[laughing] -[kids singing along]
Turn around.
Come on, like this. Let's go!
Just like me, okay? Now we stick our butts out!
Let's go!
Okay, we twirl!
Uh-huh.
Don't give me that look. They're having so much fun!
Get ready!
-You hired a party clown? -But that's…
-Hands like this! -He's an impersonator?
-He looks like that guy… -He's a buddy, I didn't hire him.
-That's it! -A buddy?
Now everyone do this! [grunting]
-Please don't… -He's a great dancer.
Do we have to pay for this?
No. He offered to help. Look, Jade is having a blast.
Aren't they cute?
[sister] Oh yes…
He is super cute.
[Abel] From the top!
[all singing along]
[sighs happily]
Okay, fine. Abel!
You're the best!
Keep going, kids, keep going!
Oh, my God…
-It actually is that guy. -Mm-hmm.
-Hey. -Hello.
Hi, I'm, uh, I'm Estelle. I'm her little sister.
My sister, Estelle, and Cédric, her husband.
-Cool. Yeah, doing great. -You doing good?
-You're the parents? -Yeah.
-She's the best, little Jade. -Yeah. She's cool.
-Jade's my girl. [laughs] -She's a very cool girl, yeah.
Okay, well, she's never met a famous person in the flesh, so…
Yes, yes, yes…
I saw Boris Johnson at the beach.
-All right, cool. -No one cares, knock it off.
-He was a big deal back then. -That's the door. Do you mind?
I got it. Excuse me.
No worries.
Hey, there. Earth to Estelle.
-Welcome. -Oh, my God.
-Hi. -Are you Abel Camara?
You could have warned me. I would've put my face on.
-Your face on? -[laughs] I didn't know!
-[Cédric] You look fine. -I didn't think I'd see him again.
Again?! Hang on, back up. You slept with Abel Camara and didn't mention it?
[laughs]
-Oh wow, he is smoking hot, that man! -Hey! I'm right here.
No, but we haven't slept together! He's just in a bad place at the moment.
-He's been feeling lonely. -Yeah?
Wanted to talk to someone.
No, he needs to get laid.
-Hey! Whoa. -Well, yeah!
-Cool it! -Broken record.
-[Estelle sighs] -And besides, I'm not into him at all.
-Are you kidding me? -No.
No, I'm not kidding. I have other priorities at the moment.
I'm not looking for some messy drama with a total…
[chuckling]
-[Abel] Ready? -[scoffs] Prize pony.
-[Cédric] I hear you. -[all exclaiming]
-I'm proud of you, sis. -[Abel] No problem.
Whoo, boy!
Well, I don't know how you put up with all that.
-The patience of a saint! -[Abel] When people are cool, it's nice.
When they're assholes, I just fake it.
[Marion] Well, I'm too blunt.
Bad poker face. You see right through it.
Ah. Shit…
Chop up that cucumber for the salad, please.
I've never done that before.
[laughs] Christ's sake.
I'll give it a go, but no guarantees.
-Wow. That's a Michelin omelet there. -What are you doing?
Chop a cucumber, not a zucchini.
This here is a cucumber.
Come on, that's a trap. Putting these together?
Look, they're twins! Look!
-The same! That's a trap! -[laughs]
Give me a break. In the same bowl, too?
-Good Lord, you're hopeless. -Thank you.
-What's wrong? -That's damn good.
Calm down. It's just an omelet.
It's magnificent!
If I start a new restaurant, I'll put "Abel's Omelet" first on the menu.
[laughs]
Why did you come back?
What was the thing you needed me to help you with?
Don't worry. It's not important.
What is that?
-What? -That look there.
That's-- That look is forbidden, got it?
-Why's that? -[laughs]
-Stop playing. -I'm not playing!
Yes, you're playing, I see you. Yesterday, today, now…
What's your deal?
I'm happy.
It's been a while since I've felt happy, that's all.
Okay, quit it. Something's going on.
A man who could have the most beautiful women
doesn't just show up to my kitchen with that look.
Okay, wanna know what's more weird?
You're interrogating me about why I stopped by to see you again.
You've got a point.
Nah, it's cool. So, we're two weirdos.
[chuckles]
Can the weird guy please take the nice, weird girl to dinner?
A movie?
[sighs] I'm really sorry, but I don't think it's the best idea.
I got enough problems in my life right now.
[chuckles]
Oh, yeah?
Didn't think I'd be a problem.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not, I meant-- I didn't mean it that way, just…
-It's all right. It's fine. -You get it.
No big deal. I'm not your type.
It's just the way it is. It's all right.
[sighs] Fuck.
In that case, well…
Be good to yourself. Thanks for the omelet.
But wait…
-Are you good? -Of course! I get it, I'm fine.
See you.
Well, see you.
[sighs]
What? Are you fucking kidding me?
The guy carved his number into a zucchini, the most phallic of all veggies?
-[laughs] -You're a lost cause.
He's less of a showman than I'd imagined.
-A nice man, actually. -Yeah.
Okay. So you rejected him.
-Loser! -Oh, Estelle.
Me and him, that's absolutely crazy!
For God's sake, explain to me how.
The giant star, me, a total nobody.
It's impossible. He could never put up with me.
-Yes he can! -[laughs]
Marion, you don't have to marry this guy, all right?
This is a good thing. Try it out, dream a little bit, would you?
Well, it was kinda great spending time with him.
Yeah.
I mean, what the fuck? Felt surreal, even.
[laughing]
And crashing back to reality, your dick of an ex just arrived.
-Hello. -[grunts]
What's up?
Here. Leash, dog food.
We need to talk for a minute.
No time now.
I've got my driving appointment, and Estelle is here, see?
-Can't speak to her, she's your lawyer. -Then shut up.
Always a pleasure.
So you're too broke to pay the rent, but you can pay for your license?
-My parents are paying for it. -Your parents or your new man?
What man?
Don't do that. Even if you're not in it, your building is.
CAMARA IN LOVE?
What the fuck is all this?
You know he's slept with all of Paris? You are disgusting, truly.
Tracking every word over here, Antoine.
You're nuts. There's nothing.
This guy is butt naked in my apartment, but it's nothing.
He was just pulling a prank.
He likes to mess around, it's the way Abel is. [laughs]
I mean, it's bullshit.
How did you get to know him? How long has it been?
Answer me before I lose my shit!
Making threats, I see.
Hey, take it down a notch.
We're not married anymore. I can do what I want.
-Fuck! -That's right, my sister.
Listen, if by tomorrow, there's no rent, you're evicted, I mean it.
-You got that? Okay, good. Bye. -Mm.
Bye.
Bye, Antoine.
Loved catching up!
He waited till the divorce to get jealous.
Come here. Come on, let's go.
See, I was right. You and Abel are believable. Look.
[laughs]
That's… That's your building! Your home!
[laughing]
"Has he finally found love?" That's too cool!
-But that's crazy. -It's excellent. Fucking A!
[laughing]
Yeah, he's a man who's sensible, romantic, faithful,
who dreams of starting a family, in a nutshell.
Ringing off the hook!
Okay, I'll fill him in and call you right back.
Bye.
-What's happening? -They want to rehire you for French Lover.
-No. Please. We agreed I'd had enough. -I know, but they saw the interview.
Your story about the new mystery woman was a big hit.
-They loved it and want you back. -I'm not doing it.
They agreed to triple your salary.
Triple?
Yes, triple.
And what's this here?
You found someone?
She's down to play the game with you?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's cool.
It's fine. It's just, well, I…
I've got a few things to take care of, but it'll be fine, it'll work out.
So you don't have anyone?
Yes, I do.
-I have a good solution. -What solution?
Adeline Blaz. She's here. You're here.
I'll bring her in, and then… we see what manifests.
No, I'm not doing this. I don't have time for her.
Pack up this mess right now. I've got a full schedule, calls to make…
-You'll see, she's a dream. -I don't want to be with a dream, Camille!
[Adeline] Hi, everyone.
Can I come inside?
Yes, by all means.
Come on in.
-[chuckles] Have a seat. -Hi. Thanks. Hello.
[Camille] So, Adeline,
I'd like to present Abel.
-Delighted. -Delighted.
Abel, I've already spoken of Adeline. She was incredible
in The Heart is a Sad Carny at the Fringe Festival.
That's very kind.
Wow, that's so cool. So, uh, you were the sad carny?
No, I played the heart of the carny, actually.
Ah, I see.
It was pretty crazy, because I was covered in steak.
Sorry, but let's focus. Adeline knows what this meeting is.
Ideally, you two would've gotten a drink and learned more about one another.
Yeah, perfect.
But sadly, Abel can't anymore. Terrible.
No, it's good.
-I'm totally free. -But your full schedule, your calls?
No.
No, I'm free as a bird.
-Well, okay. Huh! -[chuckles] Yep.
And it's happy hour.
-Perfect to get to know each other. -Well, definitely.
I mean, this job would be great, it'd be amazing.
It's a paid gig, I could quit my temp work…
Besides, well, I don't know.
We might even sleep together if you're game.
Let's not mix things up.
Would get messy.
For sure. But a pity.
We'll just see how it plays out.
Right.
-[chuckles] -You're a Gemini, right?
No, I'm a Taurus.
-What? A Taurus? -Yeah.
I'm a Pisces.
Earth and water, compatibility for sex and love is insane.
-Oh, yeah? -Hey, darling!
-What brings you here, love? -I'm grabbing a drink with friends.
-Crazy, right? -Insane!
What's happening here?
-I mean, well… -Hi, I'm Rose.
Pleasure. Abel.
-I know. -Nice to meet you.
-What's the plan for you two this evening? -[Adeline] I don't know.
It's that producer's birthday, Seclier.
Man, I know it's gonna be insane, but forget it, I'm not invited.
Yeah, I'm not either.
Oh, too bad.
-Well, I'm invited. -[Rose] Oh my God. No way!
I'm always invited.
♪ We light the sunshine ♪
♪ 'Cause there ain't no time ♪
♪ We light the sunshine ♪
So? You gonna pick me?
Drop this whole casting thing.
-What? -There's no job, sorry.
-Is that so? -I'm not that superficial.
-Ah! -[chuckles]
That means we can sleep together, doesn't it?
[laughing]
You want?
I'm shooting tomorrow.
Who cares about tomorrow. What about tonight? Come on! [laughs]
-[whoops] -[music slows, distorts]
♪ In the silence of the night ♪
♪ Lips close to mine ♪
♪ Every breath is pure delight ♪
♪ Desire feels divine ♪
♪ Hold me tight ♪
♪ Stay with me ♪
♪ Through the night ♪
[horns blaring]
[man] It's green! Move your ass!
Marion, your head's in the clouds today.
-Oh, sorry. -[man] Hey, move it!
Too late.
Mm.
ALONE IN SPACE
Oh. Makes you wanna go into space, doesn't it?
Hmm.
[soft music playing]
CITY HALL DRIVING SCHOOL
HEY!
[phone chimes]
STILL FANCY A DRINK WITH A WEIRD GIRL?
[chuckles]
SEE YOU OUTSIDE YOUR BUILDING AT 12
[man] Ma'am!
Ma'am! Marion!
Marion! Marion!
Wow. Marion!
Come on, girl!
Are you shouting at me like that?
Mistake me for your dog, or what? Are you for real?
Don't bark at random women like that. Beat it.
Wow, you're feisty. I like women with some spunk.
No, I have something in the back for you. Come on.
-Something in the back? -It's a surprise.
A huge surprise, if you know what I mean.
I don't know what you mean. If you show me your penis, I'm gonna puke.
Huh? No!
[laughs] No, you misunderstand. My penis is not involved.
No, no, it's a real surprise.
-[Abel laughing] -[chuckles]
-What the hell are you doing, Abel? -[laughing]
I'm not trying to get spotted. Come on, get in.
Why are you sneaking like a pervert?
I'm not sneaking like a pervert! It's a technique to evade the paparazzi.
Look at them all.
-Sami, nice to meet you. -Likewise.
Okay. [scoffs] Wow. Pretty shitty for someone who's a spy.
Hey, gimme a break. She's incredible. 309 GTI, 16 valve,
and I've just switched out the tires and put in a gearbox from a 205.
You don't know anything.
I don't know anything?
Well, you know your 309 has a flat tire, front right.
If the idea was to shorten the shift,
I don't think a gearbox from a 205 is gonna handle the torque very well.
Well, then. How come you know so much about my gearbox?
[chuckles]
My dad is a mechanic. Taught me a thing or two.
That's perfect because I'm looking for someone to change my rocker panels.
Okay, we'll have date night at a scrapyard,
but we've got somewhere to be.
-Where to? -Supwise!
Let's go, quick!
[upbeat music playing]
CONDÉ MUSEUM
[Sami] This is where we're shooting today.
-Not bad, huh? -[gasps]
It's really just us in this whole place? That's so crazy.
Perks of the job!
Thanks to Abel, we've had some adventures.
I've flown in zero-G, I've dined at the Élysée Palace,
I've met Catherine Deneuve, and I've even cuddled a bear.
So you've known each other a while?
Oh, yeah, since birth. Our moms were best friends.
Nelly raised Abel on her own, and when I was born a few years later,
my father split.
And so we grew up together.
All four of us in one tiny apartment. Us and our mothers. It was the best.
Yeah, but Abel got his big break right before Nelly was hospitalized.
The series was a huge hit, but she passed right before she was able to see it.
And Abel stayed with us.
He booked movies, a ton of television shows,
he had success, girls, all that, but we stayed close.
I mean, Abel is really more like a brother.
You don't stop once you get talking, do you?
Oh, my bad, I'm rattling on.
It's because I'm not typically asked about these things.
-So I'm grateful. -[chuckles]
What do they not ask you about?
Well, nobody asks if I'm happy, uh, nobody asks me what I do for work.
Nobody even asks my name. All they ask is for Abel's number.
-Don't worry about that, I got it. -[laughing]
You're not like the other girls. It's cool that you accepted.
Accepted what?
To-- To have lunch with us.
To have lunch with us. Or with me. I'm thrilled. It's great.
-It's my pleasure! -[laughing]
Look, considering where we are, I can't say I'm mad.
-Not up to speed? -No, I haven't brought it up.
-You haven't asked her? -Shh!
-No, I haven't asked her officially. -[Marion] Wow…
-But I'm going to. -[scoffs] Do whatever you want.
-I'm out of here. I'm off to see my lady. -[chuckles]
-Do you know everyone here? -Just about.
So you're all right here? Not bothered by paparazzi?
No. [chuckles] The crew is used to it.
But they still gossip about me every day.
-[woman] If you liked that show… -Look there, that table.
-Talking about us two. -Stop.
They wanna know if we've banged.
-No way… -Yup.
-For real? -Yes.
-It doesn't bother you? -Doesn't matter.
Happens all the time.
I'm used to it.
Them judging. Or criticizing. Laughing at me. It's par for the course.
They love me one day, hate me the next. It's all good.
My heart is gonna break. [chuckles]
You see, you also laugh at me. That's mean.
Sorry Abel, we're behind schedule. We've got to go.
-Sorry, I've gotta jet. -Okay.
-You'll meet me on set? -Yeah.
-Later. -Later.
-You're okay? -Yeah.
Excuse me. Sorry.
But could you please pass the salt, if you don't mind?
Sure.
Very kind. Are you new here? You doing background work?
No, no, I'm just visiting.
You're visiting?
There. She's visiting.
[laughs]
-Not the first. -No. Oh, Lord…
[mellow music playing]
-Heads up. Excuse me. -Oh!
Excuse me, you can't stand there.
Sorry. Excuse me.
-Watch out. -Excuse me.
-Where's Abel's stunt double? -Right there, that's it.
Come on, let's go.
-Madam honors us with her presence. -[gasps, laughs]
You startled me, you idiot.
-Right? Yes, I know! -This is insane!
-I look handsome, don't I? -Wow, they went all out.
-The feather, the mane… Boy. -[woman] We'll first do the stunt with JP.
We'll bring you up next for the final gag.
-Sure, sure. -Oh…
I'm sorry, I thought you did your own stunts.
-I see. -But I do. But I do, of course I do.
Mathilde, Mathilde, what's going on?
-I don't follow. I want to do it myself. -Uh…
No, but, uh, look, this is pretty dangerous. I don't get it.
-Normally you want JP to do your stunts. -No. JP? No way.
You know I do my own stunts, and it always goes fine.
It's risky. You could break your neck.
I'm not scared. It's just a horse running.
Running, sure. Pursued by five armed horsemen.
-Then a jump. -A slalom through the forest.
-Then they zoom off really far. -And really fast.
I did two months of riding lessons. Was that a waste of time?
I'm doing the stunt myself, got it? I'm doing the stunt, period.
All right? Let's go.
Okay, whatever. I don't care. I don't care anymore. Let's just go.
Okay, listen up everyone. Abel is going to do the stunt.
I repeat, Abel will be doing the riding stunt.
There you go. So!
Where's my horsey?
[horse whinnies, snorts]
So Abel, feeling good?
Nothing to worry about. I gave you Tornado.
Like a Rolls.
But she's also a sponge, okay? She feels everything.
If you don't panic, you're good.
Okay, I'm not panicking.
I'm cool, I'm game. No panicking here.
Right, little baby Tornado?
-[whinnying] -[exclaims]
Fuck, is that normal?
She's testing you. She bears her name well.
What's going on with this crazy thing? You give her an energy drink?
Roll camera!
[Mathilde] Everybody settle. We're going for a take.
Camera is rolling!
-I'll leave you to it. You're okay? -No, the horse is not happy.
[horse exhaling]
-It's angry. -Quiet on set! Roll sound!
Scene 115, take one.
And action!
No, I'm not ready. Hold on a minute. I'm not ready!
-[laughs] -Easy there, Tornado.
Nice horsey!
That's it.
Oh yeah, awesome, awesome.
-[director] That's great. -[laughing]
[stirring music playing]
-Wow, not bad! -He's got it.
Come on, Tornado.
-Action. -[male crew] Cue the horses.
It's going to look great. Just great.
Oh, he's committed.
[whinnying]
[yelling]
Shit!
-[gasping] -[yelling continues]
[grunting]
Abel!
-[director exclaims] -Shit! Goddamn it, Tornado.
Fuck. I'm okay!
Tornado freaked out, but it's fine, I'm fine.
It's all good, I'm fine!
He's good, he's good.
-Okay, let's reset. -God, no!
-No, stop! I said cut! -Stop!
[Mathilde] No!
Hey. Hey!
-[whinnying] -[yelling]
Oh, my balls!
Fuck!
[groaning]
Call the paramedics, now. Abel has had an accident.
That's what stunt doubles are for. What was the point of all this? God!
-Play the beginning, it was pretty good. -[Abel groaning]
She just sensed his fear. She's a sponge.
-Sensed his fear? -[Abel] Help!
Ambulance, medics. Shit, bring me everything.
EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT
[Abel] My career is over. I probably can't have kids.
Mr. Camara, I examined your reproductive organs and they're fine.
-You examined my balls? -Yeah.
You passed out, but I still did my job.
-What the hell? -Don't stress, I'm sure it's fine.
Where are we? Better not be a public hospital.
We're at the Green Windmill, the closest hospital with space.
-The Green Windmill? -Yup.
What the hell is that? Is that a Pony Club?
-Might as well be in a morgue! -Stop exaggerating.
-Murder me now. Get it over with. -[Marion] Stop!
I don't trust them. They might be scammers!
Imagine they snap photos while my johnson is exposed.
-Who would do that, you psycho? -Oh, it happens. Sometimes we do.
See, I'm right.
-We take turns! -Well, not with my johnson.
Oh relax, I'm kidding, I'm not serious. Nobody has taken photos of your balls.
Mr. Camara, wait right here, I'll be back.
-Come on, she's joking. -Oh God, it's the bottom-feeders.
-[retching] -[baby crying]
[phones ringing]
-We can't stay here. -Calm down.
Emergency of emergencies! I'm here. Production just filled me in.
Took a spill off a horse?
-It's more that a horse spilled onto him. -Ah.
Are you my doctor?
Yeah, it's me. I can sense your doubt, but it is me. [laughs]
Cum laude at 16, a diploma in urology with high honors.
-Just normal honors, but… -Well, almost the same.
In any case, so, your genitals, without bad wordplay, is my bag! [laughs]
Oh great, a comedian.
Okay, let's take a looksie. Are you modest?
I'm very modest.
Now then. This…
is a little souvenir.
You see, in the end,
nothing to fear.
Huh? More bark than bite.
-You're sure? -[laughs]
-They're not messed up? -No, it's just a groin strain.
It's very serious, then?
Your strain is just at a grade one. Any little kid could stomach it. [laughs]
So now when I see you, I think, "Ah! There's the wee baby!"
[laughing] It's funny, right?
Well, never mind.
Some ground rules: avoid all driving,
any sports, and make sure you're abstinent for three months.
-Three months? My God, are you joking? -Well yes, I'm joking. [laughs]
Your man, he's anxious.
-[chuckles] -[doctor laughs]
Is the wheelchair necessary?
I mean, you heard what he said.
-Didn't he say any kid could stomach it? -No, he meant-- Hold on.
-Stop. Yeah, wait, stop. -What?
…heroes. It's very impressive…
Shit. Wait.
-[doctors talking] -What's going on?
Let's go. You'll see.
-Abel? -[Abel] Ah, Louis!
-What? Abel, what a surprise! -[Abel] Hey!
-Yeah, a surprise! -How's it going?
Fine. I'm great, and you?
-This is amazing! -Yeah, it's super amazing, yeah.
-Hello there. -Hello.
Yeah. Marion, Louis Latour.
I was shooting not far from here, got injured on a riding stunt,
but I'm fine now.
Nothing stops this man. [chuckles]
-You're quite the daredevil! -Yeah, yeah…
What are you doing here?
Can you believe I've been interning in medicine two weeks now?
I'm prepping my audition for an upcoming film, Renaud Léman.
Ah, cool!
Full method. [exhales] I love it.
-Wow. You never just dip your toes, huh? -You know, the ER is no joke.
I see really terrible things.
-Hey, but I love it. [laughs] -[laughs]
Why aren't you pushing for the role? Camille didn't tell you?
Sure. She made sure to put me forward, but I can't accept it
because I'm booked during that time.
-Not possible. They don't have the dates. -They don't have the dates?
No, because Léman isn't sure if he wants to do autumn or springtime.
I know what he means.
Really, I'm booked all year.
In fact, every day, autumn, winter, I'm not available.
Because I've got this huge, huge thing.
What is it? Is it American?
Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say.
It's a series, then.
I'm not able to say.
[chuckles] It's confidential. It's top secret, buddy.
Well, hey, better for me. Less competition.
-[laughs] -Yeah.
-Great. -[male doctor] Keep her steady.
-[female doctor] I got it. -Back in a second.
Ma'am. Can you hear me? Talk to me.
Ma'am, speak to me. Can you hear me?
-[moaning] -She can't form words. Look here, please.
I'm seeing paralysis on her left side. Suspected stroke.
She needs a scan, stat. Hurry!
I better go, this looks bad. Catch up soon.
-Yeah. -Oh, Abel!
-I'll tell Léna I ran into you. -Yeah.
-It'll make her laugh. -Yeah, it's very funny.
[laughing]
Yeah, see you, Louis. This was cool.
-Fuck… -What?
What are the chances of randomly running into this guy
this night at this hospital?
Just my shitty luck.
Hey, just be glad he was on break otherwise he would have treated you.
It pisses me off, seriously.
Yeah, Cam, wanna explain why I wasn't in the loop on the Léman project?
Well, because I thought it probably wasn't your kind of thing.
I hate it when you do that! Are there any more films you're keeping from me?
Listen, I didn't say anything because it's on hold right now.
There's no money or screenplay, there's nothing.
It's all up in the air.
Besides, they've got Léna in the mix.
I don't care if they have Léna!
You know very well I'm dying to work with this guy.
How is Latour taping for it if it's all up in the air?
Latour can do whatever he wants. We agreed you wouldn't do tapes anymore.
That's all it is. This whole project is weird.
He wants to write while he shoots, sell it like it's an experience.
I'm telling you, it's too much hassle.
-A Renaud Léman film is too much hassle? -But…
I'm prepared to train at an ER if he wants.
I'm ready to play a doctor.
I understand you're frustrated,
but you do not want to take chances on a film like that.
If you want to play a doctor, this morning I was sent the Van Houton script.
It's pretty funny.
It's about a dentist who burns out and decides to be a rapper.
-The pitch is all over the place… -Seriously?
-…but I loved the treatment-- -All right.
On my last nerve.
[sighs]
Do you want this movie 'cause you believe in it,
or is it simply all 'cause of that guy?
It's my dream.
And besides, all his films win awards.
[laughs]
That's it!
That's it, you want to win a little trophy for a film that nobody will ever remember.
For basic people, it might not matter, but that's all I want.
Basic? Basic like me, is that what you're saying?
I'm not saying that, and you know it.
[ambulance siren blaring]
Sorry, but…
Isn't it weird that Camille picks what movies you do and what you pass on?
That's her job.
Plus, she's right.
I stopped auditioning.
That's completely stupid.
[soft music playing]
-A quick smoke and I promise I'll leave. -Okay.
-[gasps] -What's all this?
Shit, it's all my stuff.
-Antoine threw me out of the apartment. -What?
Are you kidding? He changed the locks?
That is such an asshole move. What a tool.
I'm sick of this.
I'm fed up with this fucked-up life.
I'm broke. I'm divorced. Now I'm homeless.
[sobs quietly]
He's got my Claudine, the prick.
It's all too hard.
-Look at me. -[sobs]
-It's all gonna be okay. -But it won't be okay.
I've been saying that for ages. I'm falling apart.
-[Marion] I'm such a fucking loser. -No, you're not. Come here. It'll be okay.
I've got you.
-I'll help you. -[crying]
I'm gonna help you out.
Hang on.
[chuckles]
-You really wanna help me out? -Yeah.
You can come stay at my place if you want.
As friends.
Stay in the spare room.
I'm down if there's a room for me.
♪ Goodbye ♪
♪ Let me start with Paul Have fun on your farm ♪
♪ While you counting your chickens And your goats while you getting dogged ♪
♪ 'Cause you think you love Paola 'Cause you went and fucked Paola ♪
♪ But you're just enamored by pussy power 'Cause you never really got it ♪
Welcome to my crib.
♪ …you caught it And I knew it but I bought it ♪
Wow, you went all out.
-Is that a pool? -Yeah!
-Heated. -Gimme a break!
Want a butterscotch?
-Those stairs lead up to the bedrooms. -Okay.
It's very nice. Quaint, cozy.
[gasps] That kitchen!
[gasps]
This is the best part.
Check it out.
I admit, it's not too shabby.
And here is my room.
[gasps]
Not bad, huh?
Yeah.
Here's the dressing room.
Uh… Must love seeing yourself.
Oh, my God!
Fuck, it's everywhere!
Motherfucker, it's freezing. Damn thing!
Fuck!
Is this why you're screaming? For a little leak?
A little leak? It's the Titanic! It's everywhere!
Do we call the fire department?
-No, just find the water inlet valve. -I have no idea.
I'll call Camille, she'll know.
Are you crazy? It's late, don't wake her. Grab a mop, it's no biggie.
I don't know where the mop is. I'll call Camille.
No, here, use this. Mop it up.
Straight to voicemail. Goddamn, okay. You know what?
We'll leave. Stay at a hotel. Someone else can fix this.
-Let's split. It's too much. -Don't panic.
I'll survive. You'll survive. We'll all survive.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
Oh, fuck.
Take that!
Learn the meaning of the word "mop." What are you doing?
Stay out of this, please.
If I hit it like this, it'll stop being such a son of a bitch!
Take that!
Hell, yeah!
What!
-I did it. -You're incredibly strong.
I owned that thing!
Oh, shit.
There.
Didn't need to wake all of Paris for this.
I need a break.
[sighs]
What's wrong?
It's so simple with you.
I suppose that's why you're staring at me like that.
You really make me happy.
My little housemaid act gets you going?
[laughs] No.
It's you.
-You're pretty. -[laughs]
May I please kiss you?
[chuckles]
["Besoin d'Amour" playing]
[laughs]
ALONE IN SPACE
[laughing]
[Marion] I'm dying to get one of these.
Go where I want, when I want. Serve good food all over Paris.
I can get it for you. How much is it?
Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous.
"The linden tree…"
"You'll make it in the end." Try again.
[laughing]
-Whoo! -[laughing]
Hey, I was wondering…
-Did you tell anyone we're a couple? -No, nobody knows.
Why not?
Well, I mean… It's not their business.
-What? -You're amazing.
-[song continues] -[laughing]
[laughing]
Okay, so I think I follow.
He wants to meet our parents, but our parents don't know that it's him.
That's it.
Wow.
I can't wait to see their faces. This is excellent.
If he gets here. I've no idea where he is.
-No update? -No, but it shouldn't be long.
We can start before he gets here. Why wait?
Where did you find this guy? He's over an hour late.
-I hope he has a good excuse. -He's finishing up, he's on his way.
Okay? If you want, I'll tell him we're canceling.
-No! -I think it's him.
Nice for him to show at all.
-[laughing] -[Cédric] All right, yeah.
This guy parks like a total moron. He has no idea what he's doing.
-Come on, Cédric. -No, really.
Ninety minutes late.
[sighs]
You're really pushing it.
Better than turning up empty-handed.
Well, okay, let's go.
You see who it is?
-[father] Who is he? -It's that guy, look.
All right, Mom, Dad, may I present…
It's an honor. Abel.
[laughs]
Of course, I know! Well, I wasn't aware you and Marion…
But anyway, well, it's true that it's-- That is, it's pretty clear.
[laughs] Uh, well, welcome.
Thank you. These are for you.
Ooh! They're beautiful, but they're enormous!
-I hope you have a large vase. -[laughing]
-How are you? -Cédric?
-[Cédric] Yeah? -Can you find a vase?
Yeah, Cédric will-- Toss them in the bath.
Sure, sure.
This is for my buddy Jade. Is she here?
That's so nice, but she's not here. She's at a friend's.
I'll hold it until she's back. I love candy. [laughs]
Well…
Okay. It's getting late. Should we have brunch?
I'm sorry I'm late. I had an interview, I came as fast as possible.
This family isn't a stickler for schedules. Don't fret.
[laughing]
We don't mind.
[laughing]
[mother] Time to eat!
-This was delicious. -She's got talent, huh?
Yes, she's the best.
And her idea of a food truck is so cool.
I gotta get my driver's permit, or it's just a van that won't move.
Abel, what movies are you shooting?
Actually, I'm not shooting. I have a film releasing in a few days.
Otherwise, I'm waiting to hear about the new film by Renaud Léman.
-Very nice. -Oh yes, so talented.
-I don't know his movies, sorry. -Same here.
And who else is in it?
Well, the co-lead is… [chuckles]
Tell them, it's all right.
It's gonna be Léna Taïs.
-That's his ex. -Yes, I know.
-That's tricky. -[Estelle] What's wrong with you?
-You'd be okay with me working with my ex? -Not in a million years!
There you go.
He might not get the part. There's a few others auditioning, so…
-That's right. Yes. -Me, I'd put my foot down.
Just the idea of Nathalie working every single day
with that asshole Bernard.
-What? -[laughing]
-Wait, Bernard was your ex? -Don't change the subject.
[father] You'll have to play lovers. Isn't that risky?
That's true, but we'd be pretending.
It's the job.
-Oh, my word. [laughs] Wow. -[gasps]
-She's a babe and then some. -God, he's an idiot.
-[Cédric] She's smoking. -[Estelle] I know. Stop.
Knock it off.
She never made me this happy.
And I'm not with her parents on this gorgeous day.
-Mom, did you really bang Bernard? -Come on…
Come on, it was a lifetime ago. Let's drop Bernard.
Let's forget Bernard, and let's forget Jean-Pierre.
-Jean-Pierre, another boyfriend? -All right, I was popular, it's true.
-[Estelle] Did you know? -Drop it. Who wants tiramisu?
[Estelle] Did his wife know?
Always bringing it back to food whenever she's on edge.
-Who's ready for tiramisu? -I'm asking, "Is he my real father?"
Hey, Jacques, look at this.
-Morning. Morning. -Good morning.
Hi! What are you doing here?
[exhales]
Got a minute?
You've fallen in love.
Don't even try, I know you.
-I mean, come on. Look at your face. -[chuckles]
It's crazy because, on paper, I didn't see it.
Yeah. A minute to get going, it's true.
Yeah, that's how it works. Soulmates.
Random parties, dancing, going for a night swim, and there you are.
Smitten. It's just what you needed.
-Wait, what? -But she kept quiet.
She's barely told us anything.
-Wait, are you referring to Adeline? -Yeah. Who else would I be referring to?
No, you've got it wrong. I'm not talking about her.
-You didn't sleep with Adeline? -I'm not talking about Adeline.
Someone else.
I've met an incredible woman. Unique.
-And? -And…
I'm really into her. We're not playing around.
-Who is she? An actress? -No.
-A singer? -No.
-Supermodel? -No, she's just no one.
I mean, she is someone. She is…
She's amazing.
Well, this is perfect!
-I'm gonna invite her to the premiere. -Great idea!
I love that, it's genius. I'm gonna…
I'll email your guest info to the PR agent as your plus one.
-Hold on, Cam. -Huh?
She's not just any woman.
-We do right by her. -Yeah, of course, my dove.
Yeah, but I really mean it.
["Sweet Inspiration" by The Sweet Inspirations playing]
♪ I need your sweet… ♪
You'll see, the premiere is going to be spectacular. Abel is so excited.
So then, are you feeling nervous?
Uh, no, but am I dressed okay?
We've the number one stylist in Paris. We've got you.
Mel, Mel, darling, Mel. This is who will be accompanying Abel.
Ah…
Morning.
Hi. I'm the plus one, but you can call me Marion.
Can you find her something hip and smart? There'll be lots of pictures.
[laughs] Nobody told me. I'm not accustomed to this size.
Boom! [chuckles] We'll find something, I'm sure.
Uh, no. No, no, no. No way.
Oh! Let's not even think about that one.
♪ And honey, that's all I ask You know, that's all I ask from you ♪
♪ I gotta have your sweet… ♪
This bow is huge.
Huh?
-It's a bit "disco ball," isn't it? -Oh, no. You look beautiful, magnificent.
Don't worry.
Well, Abel is waiting for you.
Right.
See you later.
Magnificent!
-That all you had? -Yeah.
♪ Inspiration ♪
♪ Sweet inspiration, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, what a power ♪
♪ And I've got the power ♪
♪ Every hour of the day ♪
[crowd clamoring]
You good?
Uh, well, I gotta follow you out there?
Well, yeah. It's boring in here.
I mean what do I do?
Marion, don't trip.
Get out, ballroom dance down the red carpet,
and then back handspring full flip and you're home free. It's very simple.
-But watch out. -[laughing]
After the trampoline, it's the finale.
-The most important. -Idiot.
[laughing]
[sighs] You go ahead, I'll join in a bit.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
Up to you.
[raindrops pattering]
I'm glad you're here.
[clamoring intensifies]
[crowd cheering and yelling]
[male fan] Abel!
[groans] I look like the Queen of England.
-Abel! -Hey! How's it going? Okay, okay, okay.
[Camille] Ready to walk the red carpet?
-Who the hell is she? -Abel!
[woman] Hey, who's that?
There, here you go. Hey, everyone!
I got you, I got you. [chuckles]
It'll feel easier after a while.
-Everyone grows to love it. -Inside! Come watch the film! Come on!
-[photographers clamoring] -On your right!
-Abel, to your left! -Here! The right!
-Yes! -Now to the right! Big smile!
-Hey, come on! -One more! Right here!
Go on, go on. Don't be scared. Let's go. Let's go.
-Right here, Abel. -Introducing Marion.
Marion! Marion! Right here please!
More to the left! Right here, get close!
[woman] Marion, Abel, together!
[audio distorts]
Marion! Marion!
-[muffled voices] -[heartbeat pounding]
-All right, thank you. -[woman] Abel, Marion!
-Amazing. -You were magnificent!
-Yeah. -I mean, truly.
-I think I was squinting. -Definitely not. I'm positive you weren't.
-[man] Léna, over here! -[woman] Léna! Over here please!
Right here, right here!
-Why is she here? -I've no idea.
-[Abel] She better not come near me. -She wouldn't dare.
Abel, there's someone I have to introduce you to.
-Let's go. -Yes, I'm coming.
-Go get settled. I'll join you in a bit. -Okay.
-One right here! -Léna, right here, Léna!
-[female photographer] Léna! To the right! -[male photographer] Léna! Léna!
Whoa! Look at you! You good? You know where you belong?
One way to put it.
It's the reserved row, there.
-Not coming? -No, I never sit up front.
I hide in the back, eat some snacks, and chill.
[chuckles] These heels are killing me. I'm gonna go take my seat.
-Great. Bye for now. See you after! -See you.
Excuse me, may I slide in?
Ah, I'm sorry, this row is reserved for the film stars.
Oh well, I'm actually Abel Camara's plus one, so… [chuckles]
I'm sorry, but you don't have a wristband.
But I do. I do.
I've got the wristband.
I see. All right then.
-Thank you. -No problem.
Appreciate it.
Josephine!
[Marion] Ah, here we are.
Pardon me, this seat is for…
[cheering]
Hey, you guys.
Good evening, everyone. Thank you all so much for joining us.
We're all thrilled to present this film to you.
I love it and am so proud of it.
There are some important people in the theater tonight,
so this is a special night for me
So I feel very honored and excited.
I know that personally, it brings back a lot of memories.
I used to come here with my buddy Sami, who is here tonight, when we were 13.
So seeing myself on this big screen, it's a dream come true.
There you go. Thank you all. I hope you appreciate this film.
-[Abel] Thank you. -[cheering]
[movie music starts playing]
DON'T WE LOOK GOOD?
[movie continues playing]
[man coughs]
[Abel in movie] Alan…
I'M SQUINTING LIKE AN OLD WINO
[laughing]
[laughs loudly]
[male movie character] The cryogenic pods are showing elevated oxygen levels.
It's imperative that vitals be stabilized before entering orbit.
-You're needed for one more interview. -Ah, okay.
[funky music playing]
-That film was underwhelming. -Catastrophic, you mean.
Let's go, I saw some mini burgers.
Better not be as gross as the champagne. [laughs]
-[man] The pleasure is mine. -[Abel] Let's do it again soon.
-Oh, yes. -I'm down whenever. It was so good.
-Hey, there. -Evening.
-You good? -Yeah, yeah, all good.
Everyone wants a piece of you. I haven't been able to say bravo.
You're awesome in the film.
It's been a minute since I've felt I could believe you.
But I appreciate it.
So you found someone? Took my advice, I see?
Yes. Yeah, I lucked out.
With her, it's all so simple.
Real happiness.
Happiness isn't boring?
I knew you were gonna say that.
-[funky music fades] -[poignant music playing]
It appears you're up for the new Léman film. Good for you.
Well, me and others. Your boyfriend too.
Imagine if we all got this film?
Ah. I suppose that's why he didn't accompany you here.
He was busy.
Yes, very busy, I'm sure.
Because you would have come to his film premiere?
-I would have. -Really?
Yeah. You know me, don't you?
-I do know you, yeah. -[chuckles]
[rhythmic music playing]
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. Let me clean that up for you.
Don't worry about it. I hate this dress anyway, it's horrible.
Doesn't belong to me.
Me neither. I'm not sure why I put this on.
I'm sweating, it's Lycra, it's awful.
-Nice to meet you, I'm Adeline. -Marion.
I know your name.
Oh?
Girl, I would have loved to be in your position.
But more power to you. You won, I guess.
[chuckles] You don't beat around the bush, do you?
Let's not kid ourselves. As a man, he's perfect.
But you know what? I think I was a very close second.
I was this far from the finish line.
And what makes you say that?
When I first met him, I could tell right away he was pretty into me.
-Yeah? -There was such a spark.
Him and I were vibing. Even beyond pretending, you know?
I could tell we would have had something real.
The chemistry was strong, off the charts.
-All right. -You booked it fair and square.
That's how it goes with these castings. Gotta accept and move on.
Yeah, for sure. Gotta accept and move on.
Hey, no hard feelings though.
I am perfectly comfortable with rejection.
You've got this "girl from nowhere" vibe. Wouldn't guess you were an actress.
My agent pushed me to go up for it.
It's so tough right now. Pairing up with Abel would have boosted my career.
Look at Léna. Before him, she was no one, and now she's everywhere.
But really, congrats. I don't think anyone suspects a thing.
It looks so real. Have you been acting long?
Oh, no, I just got into it.
Okay.
Ladies, having fun tonight?
-Having a pretty fun time here, huh? -Yeah.
But I'm gonna get the fuck out. I think I'm done here.
Tell Abel his fake plus one has gone home and not to call her.
You make me sick.
-No, Marion, you've got it all wrong! -She's Abel's real girlfriend, not fake?
-You're Adeline Blaz? -You recognized me? For real?
Oh, fuck!
Am I famous?
-What's going on? -[Sami] We have a huge problem.
[horn blares]
You've got to be kidding me.
I'll take care of it. I'll catch up with her before she leaves, don't worry.
I know why you're pissed.
Because I'm always choosing assholes, is that it?
You're feeling manipulated, that we played you like an idiot.
[exhales]
That you're not made for this world of hypocrites,
and basically, that you have no desire to speak to me.
Am I close?
Listen, I'm in agreement with you except on one point.
Abel is not the asshole here.
Oh, yeah?
You mean he didn't do girlfriend auditions?
You mean he didn't play me and parade me in front of everyone tonight?
Abel wasn't playing you, he was listening to me.
And I took advantage because Abel fell in love with you.
[takes deep breath]
[sighs] Come on. Where are all the taxis tonight?
Hang on, wait, wait. Just hear me out before you go.
You were never a prop, I promise.
Yeah, too late.
But it's fine. He can put out an ad for a new girl
like shopping for a new car, and keep being the center of the universe.
You're wrong. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have brought you tonight.
It would be a shame to throw it all away 'cause of something that's not his fault.
Besides, as a couple, you guys work. It's insane. Everyone loves you together.
[scoffs]
-No, I can't-- [scoffs] -What?
You're all completely fucking insane.
I'll say one last thing and I promise, afterwards I'll leave you alone.
I also fell in love with someone who was very well known.
And I even married him.
It didn't last very long because, at the time,
it all seemed too complicated.
When you love someone like that,
the world expects you to share them with everyone.
And for me, it was just too much.
So I dropped everything.
By the next morning, I was gone.
When I think back on it, with him, those were the best years I've ever had.
I was madly in love, I enjoyed life…
I wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world.
I'm so grateful.
-I'd do it all over again. -[Abel] Ladies!
Don't be afraid, don't mess up like I messed up.
He really is in love with you, you know.
Yeah? [chuckles]
I've been looking for you. Where you been?
Stepped out to get some air.
Yeah.
I just ran into Renaud Léman.
-And? -You'll never believe what he told me.
-No, you got it? -Yep!
-No! You got the role? -Yes!
-I got the role! I can't believe it! -Oh my God!
-It's so crazy! -[laughing]
I got the role!
My Marion, it's all thanks to you.
You bring me good luck.
I'm happy for you.
I can't believe it. Wait, so tell me what he said.
He'll call me to discuss the script and the part, but it's real.
-I'm in his next film. -Number one on the call sheet?
Number one for the next Léman film. Isn't that amazing?
-[Camille] That's insane, congratulations! -[laughing]
-Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! -[laughing] Stop!
Thank you, I'm over the moon!
-[laughing] -I'm so happy!
Perfect.
[exhales]
-I hope I'm not doing the wrong thing. -This is the best thing to do.
You're free, even if you lose the business.
But at what price?
Focus on the future for once.
-You're right, my Estelle. -Of course.
You think I'm gonna let him win this game?
-Hello, ladies. -Hello.
-[Marion] Hello. -Something to drink for you, sir?
He's not joining, just passing by.
[exhales]
When my lawyer told me you accepted the deal, I…
couldn't believe it, to be honest.
So what should I call you? Mrs. Camara?
Give me a break and sign.
Let's go, Antoine. You got what you wanted so don't complicate it, please.
I guess we're over. Just like that.
You were expecting what, champagne and confetti?
[scoffs]
It looks good on you, being in love.
This is the Marion I fell for. Too bad.
-Yeah, it's too bad. Just sign. -[Estelle sighs]
How do you make it work, you two?
I just don't get it.
Sure, he's stupidly rich and famous. Since when do you care?
When I'm with him, I feel like the prettiest woman in the world.
Can you sign?
-[Estelle] Great. There's another here. -I--
It's marked with a pink Post-it.
-Then that one. -There you go. We finished?
Many thanks.
I love you forever.
[Estelle] Yes, and so will we.
So much. Hugs and kisses for everyone. Let's catch up, let's do brunch.
Bye!
Fucker.
Oh no, it's okay, you're okay. It'll all be okay.
I'm surprising him with a health inspection
if that makes you feel better.
[laughing]
Champagne, two glasses please.
[Abel] This is such bullshit!
What the fuck?
What's up with you?
This fucking guy.
-Who? -Léman.
It's a supporting role, the one he promised me.
Do you get the humiliation?
He rewrote my part for Léna.
Saying it's way better from that perspective.
Isn't that a dick move?
I swear, he's such an asshole.
Who cares? The important thing is you're in the film, right?
The man was slobbering over me at the premiere.
"You're the best, where's your César, I'm obsessed with you, blah, blah, blah."
For a supporting role after all that? Fuck that prick, seriously!
I think you're being a little entitled.
You have a role in the film. Can't that be enough?
[sighs]
I should have never listened to you.
I didn't force you into any of this. Just gave you advice.
Keep your advice to yourself, okay?
Wow. What happened to bringing you good luck?
Whatever.
[clattering, glass breaking]
I'm gonna call him now and tell this dude to eat shit.
He has no idea what's coming.
Be for real.
Hang on, all this for a leading versus supporting role?
You can be such an ass, seriously.
What?
What did you say? You talking to me?
Yeah, I'm talking to you. If no one else is gonna say it, I will.
'Cause you're being really stupid. But fine, it's fine. Go ahead.
If you want to have a tantrum like a kid, go for it.
Latour will do it and you can be here with your thumb up your ass.
[soft music playing in background]
I thought it over.
Hmm?
I spoke to Léman.
[Marion] Hmm.
I accepted the role.
[chuckles]
Jesus Christ.
[laughing]
I guess it's my turn to throw a tantrum
because you're shooting with your ex, right?
It's no big deal.
It'll be like shooting with an old buddy.
An old buddy you're gonna spend every single day with for two months.
Don't tell me it's some romantic comedy.
[upbeat jazz playing]
[female director] All right, let's go everyone. Rolling!
Scene 57, take two.
[male director] Action!
Scene 21, take one.
[male director] Roll camera. Places please.
Scene nine, take two, camera two.
Really?
[male director] And cut. Okay, reset, we're going again.
Action!
-We're ready. -[male director] Cue background.
Action!
-Cut, tail slate. We're waiting on me. -[male crew] Reset, back to one!
[music continues]
IS LOVE BLIND?
WILL ABEL GET BACK WITH HIS EX, THE LOVELY LÉNA?
"Who is this sad sack? She looks like a depressed sparrow."
Don't read comments, they're all bullshit.
[gasps] "Abel needs to lay off the drugs."
"He isn't even aware who he's sleeping with."
Stop reading that. You know damn well who writes that.
Some 40-year-old incel who lives with his mom
and spends his time bitching on forums.
Not worth your time. You're being masochistic.
Put it down, come on.
I've got a big scene tomorrow, gotta sleep.
I've got to pass my driving test.
Then you need to sleep too.
And you're still down?
I need you to look after Claudine.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Don't worry, I got it.
-Let's go to sleep. -Hmm.
Good night.
Is my face really like a depressed sparrow?
[Abel laughs] Of course not.
Yes, that's true. That's true.
-How are you? -I'm doing great, yeah.
Oh, I work with Telerama and Inrock. Know them?
I'm sorry, I came as fast as I could.
I was at the doctor when you called, and the time it took to reschedule--
But it's okay. I'm here. All yours. Tell me, what's going on?
-[magazine slaps on table] -Seen this?
-Well, yes. Yes, I've seen. -Normally they warn me when they shoot us.
-But nobody said anything. I don't get it! -Nobody told me either!
But look! Best-selling tabloid of the year!
The blinders of love? They make fun of me, and on top of it they go after Marion.
-No, I know, it's vile, disgusting. -I can't believe it.
What's more, I'm dreading my scene with Léna.
Ah, okay. Well then--
All right. Okay. Give me that.
You're under a lot of pressure. Take a breath.
It's going to be okay. Come on.
Come on, just be present, bask in the moment, okay?
It's your last day on set.
Right? Focus on that.
-Where's Claudine? -Okay?
-Who's that? -Claudine--
Goddamn, this fucking day!
-[Abel on ringtone] French Lover. -[whistling]
Say "Je t'aime" to love.
-I asked you to put your phone on mute. -Sorry, I know it's dumb.
-It's my boyfriend. -I made myself clear. Pull over there.
-[instructor] And turn it off. -[Marion] Okay.
-French Lover. -[whistling]
Say "Je t'aime" to love.
-Hello, I'm taking my driving test, Abel. -[Abel] Right.
I can't be on the phone.
This is really urgent. Claudine has disappeared.
-What? -I'm sorry.
-Come on, I don't believe this. -I can't believe it, either!
But what-- Hang on. I'm so sorry, but I have to go. It's--
It's an emergency. It's my dog.
Hang on! You can't do that! Hey!
The one time I ask you for a favor, you're not capable of doing it?
Yes, I know. I'm so sorry. She couldn't have gone far, don't worry.
But I'll need you to be the one to come get her because, well, I'm on set.
Excuse me, Abel, I really need to bring you down. Immediately.
I have to go, sorry. They're waiting on me.
[Abel] We're not far from the house, you'll see the trucks.
I'm on the other side of Paris. It'll take me an hour.
Camille is already looking for her. She's nearby, I'm sure.
Because of you, I'm going to fail my driving test and my dog's disappeared.
I'm so sorry. Please keep me posted, okay? Love you.
That's the last time.
-When I'm on the phone, don't bother me. -Okay, of course.
-[phone ringing] -[breathing shakily]
-[Antoine] Hello. -Hello, Antoine?
That linden tree is as clear in my mind as when I saw it.
I've never been the same since.
-Peace be with it. -[Léman] What?
No, cut!
-That's a cut! -What line is that?
Peace be with a goddamn linden tree?
No, that's true.
The line is "Will you be my wife?" Keep in mind all you want in life is her.
-Yes, I want her. -Come on!
You're acting like you're grocery shopping!
-Let's go again. Roll camera! -Got it.
[female crew] Let's go, reset to one. Clear the frame, back to one, everyone.
Each take, he comes up with a question.
-You look nervous. -Oh, no, I'm fine.
Just a little argument with Marion. Bullshit, really.
-[female crew] Camera rolling. -Okay.
I thought you were stressed about the kiss scene.
No, I'm not stressed.
-Well… -You're nuts.
Shouldn't be hard considering we've seen each other naked.
-Some kissing's nothing. -Yeah.
Action!
That linden tree is as clear in my mind as when I saw it.
And I've never been the same since.
Will you be my wife?
What? What was that?
Cut! Abel, what are you doing? You're supposed to kiss her!
-Yes, I'm sorry, I will-- -Where's your head at? Focus!
It's not about that. The camera angle, I thought it'd be enough to seem like…
Look, you're great, but that's my job. Got it?
No prob, loud and clear.
-[Léman] Yup, thanks. -I understand, I've got it. Um…
Excuse me, who's got my water bottle?
-[siren blaring] -[phone ringing]
Hello?
You found her?
Oh, my God!
Oh, Claudine! Oh, my Clo-Clo.
[kissing] Where were you, my baby?
I found her hiding under a truck. You gotta be an idiot to lose a dog.
I'm so sorry. I had nobody else to help me.
-It's okay, I get it. -Claudine…
-She is kind of our baby, right? -Yeah.
Fine, Abel, you've had your break, you've had your water.
We can't spend all day on this. Focus and give it your all.
Okay, just a pick-up on the kiss.
-I wanna see fire! -Yes.
-Fire! -I can do that.
-Let's go. Thanks. -[female crew] Okay, we're going again.
Let's hurry it up.
Let's go again, right away!
I'm sorry. I don't know why this is hard for me.
Must bring back some good memories.
[Léman] Okay, we're doing this, let's go! Now!
-Look alive, everyone! -Look, just kiss me for real.
Don't pretend.
Kiss me like you did before.
-Wait, what? -[Léman] Roll camera!
[male crew] Everyone take their places. Roll camera.
Scene 33, pick-up 15.
-[male crew] Picture! -I want to. Don't you?
[Léman] Abel, I'm counting on you!
And… action!
[Léman] Cut.
Wait, no, don't cut. Keep rolling.
That's sublime.
-Cut! Amazing! -[female crew] That's a cut!
We got it! I got it! Fuck yeah!
Now that's cinema. That was great. Exactly what I wanted.
See, you didn't believe me.
Whatever, it's fine. Take five.
[male crew] Okay! Break for dinner!
How's the restaurant?
Well, the chef is awful.
And I'm dealing with a surprise health inspection.
And how is Julie?
Well, I'm not sure. We actually broke up. She won't speak to me.
And you?
Are you… Are you doing all right?
I'm mad at myself for having been such a prick to you.
I couldn't match up to you. It drove me nuts.
Don't do that, please.
You need me for any reason, if you want the apartment back, just say the word.
You can count on me.
But we're over, Antoine.
Easy.
[Abel] Knowing how to say goodbye is knowing how to continue our love.
We'll have to weep without tears and scream in silence.
Cut!
-[female crew] That's a cut! -That was great. We got it. Good.
Scene 87, take 12, tail clap.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a wrap on the film!
[cheering, applause]
-Amazing! -Bravo, Abel!
[man] Great job!
[soft music playing]
I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying.
Don't apologize, it's fine. This was not just any film.
But we did it. Be proud.
-Great job. -Congratulations.
[man 2] I'm exhausted, wow.
I found her!
Well then, Claudine?
Took a little spin around the block to give me a scare? Huh?
You're just a big baby.
See, she's not angry. She's already forgiven me.
Yeah, sure…
Hey! you weren't sneaking off without saying bye, were you?
-Never in my life! -Get in here!
[laughing]
Thanks, dude. I mean it. You were great.
Thanks to you. You made it possible, couldn't have done it without you.
We can catch up tomorrow. At the wrap party.
-But of course! -I'm gonna make you dance.
-Fair warning, you're not ready for this. -Fair warning, I'm always ready.
-See you! -Goodnight!
That's the scripty.
-She's super flirty, so funny. -She's super funny, yeah.
It's not like that.
[exhales]
Good thing the shoot is finally over. It can be the two of us again.
It's been so long.
Of course.
I'm glad, because I've got a surprise.
[laughing]
-Supwise! -[laughing]
SUPWISE!
I've booked us a little vacay.
A vacay? For when and where?
We're leaving tomorrow morning for a mountain trip. In the Vosges.
Tomorrow, the Vosges?
[phone chimes]
You're not happy?
Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am happy.
It's just that I wasn't planning for it.
And tomorrow is the… It's the film's wrap party.
Yeah, I didn't think of that. I'm sorry about that.
We can't go on a trip. I've got the party.
I'm not missing that.
You… You won't miss a party?
Well, no. But let's push the trip back.
I mean, that's not possible.
You can always delay a vacation. What's the big deal?
Big deal? Okay.
-Let's just forget it. -What?
You've made it clear.
I thought this would make you happy. I was wrong, it's not a big deal.
Come on. It has nothing to do with your surprise.
It's just this one event that, yeah.
I want to go.
I'm sorry. It's normal. I'm the star of the film.
Everybody wants me there. I can't bail.
[phone chimes]
Is that Léna?
No, don't do that. It's Sami.
If I'm a disappointment to you, please just say it, get it over with.
Come on, chill. It's great we'll spend time together, I'm thrilled!
[phone chimes]
Okay, now I'm pissed off.
-What? -I'm done.
You lose my dog, I fail my driving test because of you,
I run all over Paris to find you in the arms of your ex,
and when I surprise you, you don't want it?
Marion, I'm fried. It's not the best time right now.
It's never a good time with you!
Before the shoot you were panicking, during the shoot you were always busy,
and now, what, you're fried?
You won't miss one party?
Fuck. I was patient, I was.
I told myself, "It's his job, it's normal,
don't burden him with your bullshit, let him do his thing." But…
But now it's over, we're back to reality now.
-But you complicate everything every time. -I don't.
You're complicating things.
I need to come down to Earth, breathe for a second.
-Why is that so hard to understand? -I'm always expected to adapt.
To your life, your moods. I'm adapting to you always.
[sighs]
I used to believe in it, but now, to be honest…
I don't think we can make it.
You're just too selfish.
You mean you're unhappy?
Sometimes, I feel you'd be better off with Léna or…
someone else, yeah.
So this is just jealousy, huh?
No, it's that this will never work if you're forcing something.
I feel I embarrass you, or that you're-- That you're tired of me.
You have got to stop with this "poor me" routine.
-You need to snap out of it. -That's what I'm trying to tell you.
That for me, I feel… more,
when you're just being you, Abel, not Abel Camara.
Guess what? Those versions of Abel are both me.
It's the whole package! They're the same guy!
It creates this pit of chaos that you've got in you. It's…
this obsession you have with control,
how no one else should glow as bright as you. [sobs]
This thing that pushes you to destroy it all for something better,
when really, you can't even appreciate what you have now.
Are you done?
Is that the whole list?
So, I'm unbearable, selfish, and I ruin everything?
You know, I thought you were different, but you're just as bad as the rest.
You judge.
Don't tell me out of all this, that's what you heard?
What I heard is that you're pitch perfect. You're right again, you're never wrong!
We're too different, you and me.
And it will never work.
I agree with you.
-[sniffles] -[soft music playing]
-Hey. -Hey.
Thanks.
[music picks up pace]
-[cheering] -[music continues]
[clamoring]
-[muffled arguing] -[music continues]
You've reached Marion. I'm not available, leave a message.
Hey Marion, it's Abel. Call me back when you can.
[voicemail beeps]
[Abel] It's me again. Will you please pick up?
-[horn sounds] -[voicemail beeps]
[Abel] Marion, I just wanted to know how you were. Hope you're okay.
[voicemail beeps]
[Abel] Hey Marion, I know you're mad at me. I really am sorry.
Answer me, please.
[voicemail beeps]
[Abel] Marion, I wanna hear your voice. I want to see you.
I need you.
CALL ME PLEASE I MISS YOU
[muffled whooping]
[music slows and softens]
[doorbell rings]
[music picks up pace again]
The nominations for the César awards were announced this morning,
and the big surprise is Abel Camara,
nominated for the first time for Love Therapy,
the latest Renaud Léman film.
Also up for Best Production Design, Lighting, Cinematography, Director,
and of course, Best Picture.
In less than two hours,
the official ceremony of the 52nd César Awards
will be in full swing.
On this red carpet will walk some of the biggest names in the world of cinema.
We'll be paying special attention to Abel Camara,
who's been this season's surprise,
appearing for the first time ever on the list of nominees.
So, will he take home the prize for his role in the latest film
from multi-award-winning director and cinematic darling…
[Sami] Check out the tux.
Handsome or what?
[Abel laughs]
Very handsome.
Really loving the shoes.
Evening. Evening. César for Best Plus One, right?
A slam dunk.
-[Sami] Are you ready to give your speech? -Don't jump the gun.
Come on. Of course you'll win!
Hello, my darlings. So, we all set to go?
Yeah, almost.
Are you wearing a tracksuit on the red carpet?
No. No, no, no. I'm gonna change. But we've got time.
Um, no. Snap to it, we've gotta go.
[phone ringing]
-Not picking up? -No, no, it's my mom, it's fine.
It's your mom?
Yes, but don't worry. It's her birthday, but it's okay.
I wouldn't be anywhere other than here.
Right, so…
-Thank you. -Well…
-For everything. -Hey, it's no prob. [chuckles]
Okay. And here, that's perfect.
[gasps] It's just perfect.
No one will spot that. Hold on…
And there.
Beautiful. You're beautiful.
Talk about a million bucks. You look unbelievable.
Thanks. Know what I'd like from you?
No, tell me. What?
From now on, for you to let me put on my bow ties myself.
What-- I'm sorry, what do you mean? Do you want a different agent?
No.
Not at all.
I'd prefer it if when I blow up your phone at night, you don't respond.
I don't want my bullshit to ruin your family dinners anymore.
I'm asking you to go on vacation.
To fall in love.
I'm happy to be there for your bullshit, you know that.
Doesn't mean you can't take a break.
[voice breaking] But I'm not made for that.
I'll just lose myself.
And I'm afraid that I'll realize that I have nothing else.
[chuckles softly]
You gotta try.
Hmm.
-It's your turn to be taken care of. -Okay.
I don't know how to do that.
[soft music playing]
GRAND OPENING
[clears throat]
Hey! You know, if you win, I prepared something for you.
Look. Just a list of who to mention.
Don't worry.
I know who to mention.
[Camille] Okay.
Hey, let's take a selfie before the paparazzi.
-Oh, yeah! Yeah! -Right?
Great.
-Selfie! Yeah! -[Sami] Yeah!
Yeah!
[laughing]
We look good!
-[soft music continues] -[clamoring]
[crowd screaming]
I hope it goes well. I think he's nervous.
-No, don't worry. -You don't think so?
-[woman] Hey, Abel! -[man] With me! Here!
-[man 2] Hey, Abel! Right here, please!- -[man 3] Abel! I love you, man!
-Appreciate it. Mom, drink up. It's free. -Ah?
-Oh, okay. -[laughs]
I'm not expecting to win.
Excuse me.
Well, buddy, we finally made it.
I mean, you did.
-Your mother would be so proud of you. -Hmm.
A toast?
Cheers.
You don't seem thrilled.
-It's that obvious? -No, no, but I know you.
I dunno, it's…
Now that it's all happening, it strikes me as a bit boring.
Are you nuts? I mean, the film stars, the chandelier, all this bullshit…
This is as good as it gets.
I just ran into Margot Robbie.
I was gonna take a shit and held the door for her, and she said, "Thank you."
Best moment of my life.
I think I have a shot. [laughs]
You're not feeling the vibes. This is bad.
Listen, it's not every day that this happens, understand?
Yes, I do.
Then enjoy yourself! Let loose!
In barely an hour you could be living out the best moment of your life.
You could be right.
Of course, I'm right!
Wake up, dammit. This, this is happening now.
-Yeah. I've got to wake up. -Yeah.
I shouldn't be here.
-I'm out. -What? That's not what I meant.
-Thanks, bro. -Wait!
I misspoke! Abel!
Abel!
Hey!
-I've got two rice and shrimp. -[man] That's mine.
Thanks, bon appétit.
[man] Thank you.
-Hi, what can I get you? -[man 2] Hello.
Hey. Three medium rare burgers, three truffle fries, please.
There's gonna be a wait.
-Okay? Ten minutes. -Okay. No problem.
Thanks.
-Gimme a kiss. -Bye!
-See you. -Goodnight, gummy bear.
-[Cédric] Say goodnight to Grandma. -Look, there's Abel.
Oh, you're right.
Hey. What's up, Jade?
-Hello. -Oh, hey.
-[laughs] -What's up? Hey.
Over there.
What does he think he's doing here?
Evening.
One Michelin omelet.
♪ …has no limits and it has no name ♪
♪ It's every hour and it's day by day ♪
Hi, Abel.
Hi there.
I'm sorry, it's not the best time right now.
I have seven burgers to grill and I'm not sure I'm prepped enough, so…
Can we please speak later?
Oh, strip it.
All right.
All yours. Tell me what I should do.
But…
Chop up some cucumbers?
[laughing]
No.
You can take over the grill. Put this on.
All right.
-Grabbing this. -By all means.
♪ Love is a way of being, baby ♪
♪ Love is a… ♪
[applause]
[woman] Oh, my gosh. I can't thank you enough.
-Thank you so much for this opportunity… -Uh…
You know where Abel is?
Uh… No.
-[Léman] You don't know? -I will.
That's just great.
[woman] Next, I have to thank my mom and dad…
Okay, Abel, where are you? You can't just disappear like that.
You've got to-- You've got to pick up, you have to get here.
It's-- You're not missing your moment!
Thank you.
[sighs]
Why are you here, Abel?
[clicks tongue]
I had to thank you in person.
The film, the nomination, it's thanks to you.
-You got what you wanted. -Hmm.
Suppose I did.
But I let go of what was most important.
I'm sorry I never answered you.
I needed time just for myself, so I could move on.
Did it work?
Did you move on?
It's pretty hard to pull off.
You look happy, for what it's worth.
You got your food truck.
-Hmm. -I'm very happy for you.
Thanks.
How are you?
Haven't slept in over six months.
Oh, no!
[laughing]
Life sucks without you.
I miss you.
Did you win the César?
-That's not my thing anymore. -What do you mean?
I walked out of the ceremony to come be with you.
[laughs] I'm sorry, what? It's, it's happening now?
-Well, yeah. -But wait…
Have you lost your mind? Are you completely insane?
My God, you idiot.
-What are you doing? -You can't do that.
I will not be the reason you miss out on this moment,
so we're going to get you your César, let's go.
[male host] The nominees are…
Stéphane Bourgoin, for Arrogance.
Antoine Delaunay for The Great Merger.
-Chloé Suot for Sophie's Gamble. -I don't get it. He's vanished.
-[male host] Renaud Léman… -He's not picking up.
-[tires squeal] -[rhythmic music playing]
-This is very fast. -[Marion] Is this fast?
Really fast. Wanna slow down?
I can't or we won't make it.
And the César for Best Director goes to…
Renaud Léman, for Love Therapy.
Renaud won again.
[horn sounds]
-[yelling] -Watch out.
-Chill out! We almost killed those two. -You want to be on time?
Congratulations, Renaud.
[male host] …third César for Best Director, and fifth…
This is a catastrophe. Tell me the truth, where is he?
-I'm not his mom. -Hey, hey!
Probably ran off to find Marion.
-Oh! That was a red light. -Was it?
Now I get why you failed your test.
[smashing]
Yup, yup, you scraped it.
[laughs]
I'm just so emotional I've completely forgotten my speech.
So I'll just stop while I can. Uh…
Well, I'm so grateful, long live cinema, and best of luck.
-[applause] -Yes, Renaud!
Our next category is Best Actor. The nominees are…
-Fuck, it's happening. -Yup, it is.
[male host] Josselin Panchout for Sophie's Gamble,
Yannick Barre…
Go ahead, bring it home.
-You're not coming with me? -I'm not dressed for the part. [laughs]
Go on.
Oh, one second.
Okay.
I'll be watching.
-Right here with you. -Okay.
Excuse me, miss. You can't stay here. Move along.
Yes, I'm sorry.
[soft music playing]
And the César for Best Actor goes to…
Drum roll…
Abel Camara, for Love Therapy.
[applause, cheering]
[male voice] This is the first nomination and the first win for Abel Camara.
-Oh, he's here! [laughs] -Oh, thank God!
[male voice] This is his first collaboration with Renaud Léman,
where he plays a doctor who reunites with his childhood love.
-Congratulations. -Thank you so much.
[applause, cheering continue]
[laughing]
Wow. [chuckles]
This is surreal. [chuckles]
Oh man, what an honor.
Thank you for telling this big kid that at 40 years old,
it's not over yet.
On the contrary, it's the beginning.
Camille,
Sami,
thank you for being there from the start. I couldn't have made it without you.
This here is for both of you.
-[sniffles] -[Abel] I love you guys.
Whatever life throws our way,
you must dare,
you must try, and you must fail, because it'll be okay in the end.
[Abel] Even if others judge you, or stop you from believing.
Tonight is a confirmation of that.
I used to often adjust my desires to be in line with others.
Then I met someone totally new.
She opened up my eyes.
She made me a better man
by showing me that success is not just a little gold statue
gathering dust on a shelf.
I don't know if she'd like that I'm talking about her,
but tonight, I can't help myself.
Thank you, Marion.
Once again, you were right.
[chuckles]
I'll leave you now.
Someone's waiting. Thank you.
[applause, cheering]
[laughing]
-Thank you. Take it. -Go ahead.
-You deserve it, buddy boy! -[laughs]
Go on, go on.
-["If You Love Me" by Brenda Lee playing] -♪ If the sun should tumble from the sky ♪
♪ If the sea should suddenly run dry ♪
♪ If you love me ♪
♪ Really love me ♪
♪ Let it happen ♪
♪ I won't care ♪
♪ If it seems that everything is… ♪
You idiot! Everybody's waiting for you, you have to go back in.
Let them wait, I don't care.
You better kiss me, then.
Everybody's watching.
I'm not worried about it.
♪ Really love me ♪
♪ Let it happen, darling ♪
♪ I won't care ♪
♪ When at last Our life on Earth is through ♪
♪ I will share eternity with you ♪
♪ If you love me ♪
♪ Really love me ♪
♪ Let it happen ♪
♪ I won't care ♪
♪ If you love me ♪
♪ Really love me ♪
♪ Let it happen ♪
♪ Darling, I ♪
♪ Won't care ♪
[rhythmic music playing]
[soft music playing]
[music ends]