1 00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,263 Let's go. 2 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:03,699 - Doc. 3 00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:04,786 She has no recollection 4 00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:05,787 of the last eight years. 5 00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:06,615 Bring it on. 6 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:07,659 I came here to help you. 7 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:08,878 "Kitchen Nightmares” 8 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:09,661 Are you in. 9 00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,315 And “Going Dutch” 10 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:12,273 Pew pew pew. 11 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:13,665 First guns I've seen on the base. 12 00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:14,622 Let's go, let's go. 13 00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,233 All available now. 14 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:22,935 ♪ Happy birthday to you 15 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:25,502 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 16 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,984 - Whose birthday is it? - Must be someone pretty popular. 17 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,333 - Ain't it? - Huh. 18 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:34,076 ♪ Happy birthday dear Maggie ♪ 19 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:39,126 ♪ Happy birthday to you 20 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,649 [cheering] 21 00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,781 Thank you. This is perfect. 22 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,870 [instrumental music] 23 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,352 - How you doing? - I'm fine. 24 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:49,788 - Yeah? - Yeah. 25 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,924 - I can tell you're not fine. - I'm totally fine. 26 00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:55,881 - I can tell you're mad. - Look. 27 00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,101 You remembered that you forgot 28 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,885 my birthday this year. That's great. 29 00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,931 That-that can be my gift. 30 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,715 That's how far we've lowered the bar? 31 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,240 Oh, the bar. Gosh. 32 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,285 That was on the ground ten years ago, 33 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:10,548 and now there's really just ground. 34 00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:11,593 - I know. So-- - Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,115 A sweet old man with a metal 36 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,162 detector thought he found treasure recently. 37 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,120 - But it was just the bar. - The bar. Oh. 38 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,905 - Yeah. - All right. I feel like-- 39 00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,820 Saying happy birthday to me? 40 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,909 - Happy birthday. - Thank you. 41 00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,911 Happy birthday to me. 42 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:29,176 [theme music] 43 00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:34,050 Yeah, you can just put 'em right over there. Thank you. 44 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,704 Ah! Hi. 45 00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,706 I take it none of these gifts are from your dad. 46 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,795 Oh, that's nothing new. 47 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:43,842 The most thoughtful gift he ever got me was on my 18th birthday. 48 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:47,324 Um, it was a handful of loose change he found in a cup holder. 49 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,586 - Well, did he wrap it? - Yeah. 50 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,153 You seem pretty chill about your birthday, so I guess 51 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:53,635 you're not interested in a gift from me... 52 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,941 Ah, ah! You didn't have to. You didn't have to. 53 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,509 - I had to. Go ahead. - Oh. 54 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,251 [laughs] Oh, my... 55 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:05,298 It's the nickname I gave you when we played korfball. 56 00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,388 Jiggly Boobs. 57 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,171 Starting to think that's probably not 58 00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,261 the most appropriate workplace gift, but... 59 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:14,351 No, it's not. But this must have taken you so long. 60 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,832 - Yeah, only six weeks. - That's crazy. 61 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,226 I know. It's not a big deal. I'm a big gift guy. 62 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:20,444 I mean, you should see what I got Captain Torres 63 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,533 and Major Daniels for their wedding. 64 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,621 For their wedding? Stop. I did not even know they were dating. 65 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,406 They kept it secret for a while, but then they went public 66 00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,190 after he transferred to Wiesbaden, so... 67 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,192 All the couples I know in the army 68 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:33,283 start off secretly dating. Yeah. 69 00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,898 - Okay. Well, I'm gonna go. - See you later, Jiggly Boobs. 70 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,466 - Enjoy. - Thank you. 71 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:47,210 [chuckles] This is stupid. 72 00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:48,646 Mm. 73 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,606 Tell me, is this an American-sized portion, 74 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,478 or are you just upset about your daughter? 75 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,916 I don't know. I've never felt guilty about her before. 76 00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,005 I don't know what's different about it this time. 77 00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,443 I guess I love my daughter. Um... 78 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,272 I didn't mean that to sound as bad as it sounded. 79 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:10,450 I enjoy watching you discover basic human emotion. 80 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,801 It's like watching a dog recite poetry. 81 00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:15,672 I just can't shake it, you know? 82 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:18,676 Are you happy, Davidson? This is why you sent me to Stroopsdorf? 83 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,418 Well, I don't think you can blame this on Gerald. 84 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:24,465 - Did you say Gerald? - No. 85 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,249 It doesn't say his first name up here. 86 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,947 - You said Gerald. - No, no, I said, uh... 87 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:32,603 General-d. Generald. 88 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:35,563 This, it's my accent. Duh. 89 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,956 No, your accent is weird in a different way. 90 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,045 - No. - He's a client. 91 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,176 - Oh, my God! - [gasps] 92 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,397 He's a client at your brothel? 93 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,442 This is like a birthday gift from me. 94 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,140 If he were, I would never tell you. 95 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,969 I give my clients the same confidentiality 96 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:53,624 as a physician with a patient! 97 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,062 - Ah, that's a yes. Oh, honey. - It is most certainly nothing. 98 00:03:57,193 --> 00:03:58,890 It's the yes-iest of yeses. 99 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:02,459 It is the no-iest of I do not know what you're talking about. 100 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:03,939 All right, just give me one little detail 101 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,506 of his freaky-deaky sex life. 102 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,986 My client's trust means everything to me. 103 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,988 And if I mean anything to you, 104 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,862 you will just drop this now. Okay? 105 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,516 [Patrick] Hey, I figured out how to get us a transfer 106 00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,126 - out of here. - Transfer? But... 107 00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,388 Davidson's never gonna approve that. 108 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,868 Ho-ho. That's where you're wrong. 109 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:21,304 I just found out that he 110 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,219 is a client at Katja's brothel. 111 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:24,481 - How about that? - Ah, yeah. 112 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,527 He'd get a dishonorable discharge for all those 113 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,180 dishonorable discharges. 114 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,965 - That? - [laughs] I just found it. 115 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,315 See, this is why you have to do the open-mic nights again. 116 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,231 It may seem insane to consider 117 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,580 blackmailing a direct superior officer, 118 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:38,060 but I've thought it through, so hear me out. 119 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,540 - I'm in. Totally in. - Oh. 120 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,759 With this much leverage, we could request Dulmen. 121 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,891 That's 40 minutes across the German border, and then Maggie 122 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:46,024 would be outside of my chain and your chain of command, 123 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:50,114 which would be good for us. Uh, meaning me and you. 124 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,466 Okay. All we need is the proof now. 125 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,555 We're not gonna get any of that from Katja 126 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,340 'cause she's like a steel vault, which is why I decided 127 00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,038 to bring in the best hacker I know. 128 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,693 [door opens] 129 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,695 - What took you so long? - I'm the hacker. 130 00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,436 So you were just standing behind that door the whole time? 131 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,482 Yeah, yeah. Like a theatrical little... 132 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:10,352 - Dramatic, huh? - All right, let's do it. 133 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,702 - High five. Listen, guys. - Yeah. Let's do it. 134 00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,921 I'll get Davidson to attend our 4th of July celebration, 135 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,620 and just like our forefathers, we are gonna liberate ourselves 136 00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,405 from tyranny, in this case, his tyranny, 137 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,710 by stealing the old perv's GPS data. 138 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,495 So let's go extort a two-star general. 139 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,062 Okay, let's not even say that out loud. 140 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,367 We don't need to do that. 141 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,239 [whispers] Let's go extort a two-star general. 142 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,937 - That's better. Good luck. - That's better. 143 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,635 - Good. - Go get it. 144 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,071 Blackmail! Okay, sorry. 145 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:35,073 - What is wrong with you? - I don't know. I'm excited. 146 00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,515 [Abraham] This is a no-phones event. No exceptions. 147 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,734 All right, have your phones out and ready. 148 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,170 Please put 'em in the locked bag. 149 00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,173 D'you think that maybe I could look at a few photos of my mom 150 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:49,392 one last time? 151 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,915 You'll get it back when you leave. 152 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,307 Oh, nice. Cool. 153 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,092 General. Thank you for coming, sir. 154 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:57,095 It's a 4th of July party, and you wanna discuss surrender? 155 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:59,141 I've been waiting for you to leave since the day you arrived. 156 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,838 This is my kind of heaven. 157 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,014 Oh, sorry, general. Uh, we will need your cell. 158 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,190 - It's a phone-free event. - What if I have to hit the head? 159 00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,628 Am I supposed to do it in complete silence? Like a monk? 160 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:10,848 I am so sorry, general, but it's mandatory 161 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:13,503 because the USO has booked us a musical guest, 162 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:15,984 and he wants no phones for video recording. 163 00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:19,987 I'll give you a hint. He goes by, uh, The Boss. 164 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,773 - Bruce? - Shh! 165 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:23,948 Mn-mn. 166 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:25,689 Ah. 167 00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:31,652 [instrumental music] 168 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,134 General, how would you like to inaugurate our photo booth? 169 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:40,137 I would gladly commemorate the day I got rid of you. 170 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,444 There you go. 171 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,490 Okay, general. There we go. 172 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,363 [laughs] 173 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,409 - [beeping] - [camera clicks] 174 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,848 GPS data is now unlocked. 175 00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:55,023 [door shuts] 176 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,944 - [Maggie] Hey. - Oh, hey, girl. 177 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,425 Uh, what you doing? 178 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,688 I refuse to serve swill at this base 179 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:09,733 like we're ridding a party boat at Lake Havasu. 180 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,909 So I'm pouring expensive Belgian bottles 181 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,737 into these American cans. 182 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:17,262 Hey, so Shah and I were just having a conversation, 183 00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:21,615 and, uh, there was a vibe. 184 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,704 We were talking about these officers who were 185 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,402 secretly dating, and, you know, we were talking about them, 186 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:31,233 but we were really talking about us. 187 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,104 I'm not surprised. 188 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,062 Ever since he got here, he's been snorting your pheromones 189 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,891 like some finance bro in a bathroom stall. 190 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:39,459 The question is, um, are you interested? 191 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,723 I am. 192 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,247 - I am. - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,684 But it's complicated, so... 194 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,775 - Can I simplify for you? - Yeah. Yes. 195 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,821 So he is your boss. 196 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,519 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - He's going through a divorce. 197 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,608 He has a complicated relationship with your dad. 198 00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,958 You have a complicated relationship with your dad. 199 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:02,351 And if this doesn't work out, 200 00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,657 it's gonna flip your world upside down, 201 00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,310 and I'm a part of your world, Maggie. 202 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,095 Please think of me. 203 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,925 - Oh, that stinks. - It's just the situation. 204 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:14,231 No, I accidentally drank one of the real domestic beers. 205 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,538 - How we doing? - Uh-- 206 00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,148 We getting some crazy, perverse 207 00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,410 stuff off Davidson's phone? 208 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,108 The dude's phone is completely clean. 209 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,849 - What're you talking about? - Only thing I can find 210 00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,372 is his Wordle score, and he's a beast, man. 211 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,678 He wins so many in two. 212 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,462 There's no GPS data or, you know... 213 00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,683 No, there's not, because every time he gets near that brothel, 214 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:32,119 he turns his phone off, so he's like a ghost. 215 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:35,210 He's like a really horny ghost who, I can't stress this enough, 216 00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,256 happens to be a complete, absolute MJ at Wordle. 217 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,303 [band music] 218 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,132 At least I don't have to do that with the colonel. 219 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,263 Abe. Abe! 220 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:49,529 - Hi! - Hey, Celeste! 221 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,922 - Hey! - What are you doing here? 222 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,141 I was at a PAO's training seminar in Ansbach, 223 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,577 and I figured I'd stop by. 224 00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:56,797 - It's only three hours. - Right. 225 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:59,060 And we're still technically married. 226 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:02,237 Um, I just really wanted to see your face. 227 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:05,719 Thoughts? Considering I'm being super vulnerable right now. 228 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,591 This is, uh... It's a lot to process. 229 00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:12,028 But, um, well, it's good to see you. 230 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,813 There's just nothing on the phone that will help us. 231 00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:16,425 There's gotta be something we can do. Hey, soldier. 232 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,079 Get your head in the game. All right? 233 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,951 I am the greatest military mind of my generation. 234 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,736 - Really? - Yes! 235 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:24,607 I don't walk away from anything, okay? 236 00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:28,219 Except explosions. In slow motion. 237 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:31,658 How's, um, Terrence? 238 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,095 He's probably great. Uh, we broke up. 239 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:36,924 Which is part of the reason I'm here. 240 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,491 I'm looking for a new start and up for transfer, 241 00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:43,713 so I was thinking maybe Stroopsdorf? 242 00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:45,976 - So this Stroopsdorf? - No, Stroopsdorf, New Jersey. 243 00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:49,719 - Yes, this Stroopsdorf. - We have a very special guest. 244 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:54,201 Give it up for Bruce Springsteen's 245 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,551 cover band. 246 00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:56,987 What? 247 00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,294 Thank you so much. But I need to correct this. 248 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:02,689 Jan and the Springstreets are not a cover band. 249 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,604 We can perform free from the shackles 250 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,215 of litigious American corporations. 251 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,085 Our first song is called 252 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:12,307 Conceived In The Continental United States. 253 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,657 I gave away my phone for this? 254 00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,659 I'd love to be closer to Gabriel, 255 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:17,660 but what would that mean for us? 256 00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,488 I think it could mean a lot of things. 257 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:20,880 I just don't think this music is 258 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,229 the best soundtrack to discuss it. 259 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,798 [Celeste] I've just been thinking about you and us a lot. 260 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,582 Okay, we should talk more, but I gotta run. 261 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,978 Here's what we're gonna do. You're the tech whiz. 262 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,154 You're gonna make me a bug with a camera and a microphone, 263 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,112 the whole nine yards, and you're gonna make it fast, soldier. 264 00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,723 Otherwise I'm gonna send you back to whatever crappy 265 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,942 mid-sized American city crapped you out. 266 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:41,902 - Cedar Rapids. - So you know the stakes, right? 267 00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:44,034 - Sir. We got a problem. - Yes? 268 00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,515 [suspenseful music] 269 00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:50,911 Mm! Your girlfriend made a surprise visit. 270 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,390 If Davidson sees her, he's gonna know something's up. 271 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,478 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I got it, I got it. 272 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,177 - Go. - Hey, honey! 273 00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:58,005 - Hi! Hi! - Surprise! 274 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,834 How are you? Heh-heh. What are you doing here? 275 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,705 Well, I just wanted to experience 276 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,925 my first 4th of July celebration. 277 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,710 - Yes. - Boo! 278 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:11,496 - Please don't do that. - That's an order! 279 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:15,283 - [all] Boo! - That's horrible of you! 280 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,547 So you sit here, yeah. So let me get you a-a flag and a beer. 281 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:19,853 - Oh, American? - Yes. 282 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,071 - Uh, just a flag. - Okay, honey. 283 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:24,771 [Celeste sobbing] 284 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,644 Oh. Hi. 285 00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,864 - [Celeste] Oh, hi. - Are you okay? 286 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,605 [Celeste] Oh, just crying in the stall over a boy, 287 00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,172 like the world's worst cliche. 288 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,870 Uh, you wanna talk about it, bathroom stranger? 289 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:40,961 Uh, I just waited too long. 290 00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:44,138 I waited, I waited for everything to be right. 291 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,618 Has that ever happened to you, just wait too long? 292 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:50,100 I might be doing that right now, actually. 293 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,580 - Really? - Yeah. 294 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,320 - [Celeste] Don't do it! - Yeah. 295 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,931 Learn from my mistakes. 296 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:58,761 - And I'm gonna go find him. - Yeah! You go! 297 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,893 - You go right now! - Okay, thank you! 298 00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,983 - You got this! - Yes! Get your man, girl. 299 00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:06,595 - [Maggie] You seem great. - Yeah. I am... 300 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,206 I am cute and I am fun. 301 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,991 Wow, this is enlightening, toilet lady! 302 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,211 - Please don't call me that. - Ooh. Yeah, sorry. 303 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,560 [suspenseful music] 304 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,172 General. 305 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:21,044 So, you ready to talk surrender? 306 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:23,350 - Yes, I am. Your surrender. - Good. Ah. 307 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:26,353 Yes. See over there? 308 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,747 That's my girlfriend Katja. 309 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,880 As in, caught-ja. Get it? 310 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,927 - If you'll excuse me. - Ah. 311 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,451 - She owns a brothel in town. - Ahem. 312 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,583 I would never jeopardize my career by stepping inside. 313 00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,151 - Would you? - No. 314 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,544 No, I'm not... 315 00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:47,636 one to, um... 316 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,947 hide things. Nice try. 317 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:56,950 Hm. 318 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:02,956 - Abe. - Yeah, uh, hey! 319 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,001 - Hi, um... - Are you good? You... 320 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:07,264 Have you been running or something? 321 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:10,528 Oh, I just, uh... Meat sweats. That's it. 322 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:13,096 - Okay. Uh... - Yeah. 323 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,836 Can I talk to you about something? 324 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:15,795 - Maybe in private. - Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 325 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,013 Why don't we go to the photo booth? 326 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,885 - Right over here. - Okay. 327 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,060 Right. 328 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,542 Uh, something's wrong. 329 00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,457 - Okay. You can tell? - Yeah. 330 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:30,634 Yeah, you know, you really need oversized sunglasses. 331 00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:32,463 - Yeah. - I do need these. 332 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,030 Oh, there you go. 333 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:36,076 - Now all is right in the world. - Yeah! 334 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:38,860 Ah, you know what? There's something in your hair. 335 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:39,993 It's the lack of a tiny little hat. 336 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,733 Yes, it was the lack of a tiny little hat. 337 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,823 - Yeah, cowboy. - Get in the frame. 338 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,782 - Ah, I am in it now. - [beeping] 339 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:51,047 - Mm... - Um, Abe. 340 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,876 I wanted to say something, which... 341 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:56,357 - I will actually take these off. - Why? 342 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:59,577 It's not that serious. It's, it's cool and casual and fun. 343 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,666 I think there's a lot of stuff 344 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,713 that goes unsaid between you and me. 345 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,150 - And I-- - Maggie. 346 00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:09,718 Before you go... 347 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,807 Celeste wants to come here to Stroopsdorf. 348 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,548 - What? - [camera clicks] 349 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,244 Yeah, okay, she thought that maybe we could try being 350 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,160 a family one more time, and for so long 351 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,683 that's what I thought I wanted, but... 352 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,684 No, no buts, no buts about it. 353 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,644 That is what you should do. 354 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:25,081 [crowd cheering in distance] 355 00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,170 You don't think that's, like, crazy? 356 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,042 I think it would be crazy if you didn't bring her here. 357 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,391 - [beeping] - [Jan] Okay, everybody, thank... 358 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,481 Uh, I, um... 359 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,700 I wanna go check on something. 360 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,615 - Mm-hmm. - Sorry. One sec. 361 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,053 [instrumental music] 362 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:44,361 Whoo! Let's take a look at that. 363 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:48,277 It looks like you did a fart, and that fart destroyed her. 364 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,714 - Can I keep it? - No. 365 00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,763 Gerry, it's so lovely to see you. 366 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:55,982 No, no, no, don't play innocent with me. 367 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,636 You assured me that my visits 368 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,203 to the brothel were confidential. 369 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,989 I would never violate your trust, Gerry. 370 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,861 She's telling the truth. 371 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,124 She's not blackmailing you. I am. 372 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,734 [intense music] 373 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:12,694 This is the one you were supposed to find. 374 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:15,436 And this, this is the real bug. 375 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,655 I knew you'd confront Katja and let your guard down. 376 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,788 [Patrick] All I had to do was hide my microphone 377 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,833 behind the red, white and blue. 378 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,879 So it seems like the chickens have come home to roost, yeah? 379 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,882 And I got you by the eggs. 380 00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:30,146 Unless you wanna grant me a transfer. 381 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,108 [scoffs, chuckles] 382 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,807 You used me as a pawn in your game? 383 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,941 A pawn can bring down a king. And he's not gonna say anything. 384 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,768 It's mutually-assured destruction. 385 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:46,075 The only thing that's been destroyed is my trust in you. 386 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:49,035 I told you not to cross the line, but you did. 387 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,471 [Katja] I see now I gave you too much credit. 388 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:53,691 - You are incapable of change. - That's unfair. 389 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,780 I hope you get your transfer, and I hope you get as far away 390 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,608 from your daughter as possible, 391 00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:00,089 so you don't break her heart like you have mine. 392 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,920 This is goodbye, Colonel Quinn. 393 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,704 Okay, that's a little... 394 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,664 This is a perfectly good bug. 395 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:12,579 Hey, Papadakis, cut out all that stuff with me and Katja 396 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,060 and just keep all the really cool stuff 397 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,148 I said to the general, okay? 398 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,159 You win. 399 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,595 You have your transfer, anywhere you want. 400 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:28,508 I'll make it happen. 401 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,032 General, wait. 402 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:33,079 You want scotch? 403 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,169 Mm, sure. 404 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:40,608 Been a while since we've done this. 405 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,218 Let me ask you something. 406 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,744 Why'd you send me here? 407 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:49,616 I wanted you to retire. 408 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:52,881 I mean, back when we were, well, not friends, but not this, 409 00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:55,449 you told me over a glass of scotch 410 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:59,496 that every time you got close to someone, you ran away. 411 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,629 So, what, you thought I was gonna just... 412 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,850 leave the service, run away from my daughter? 413 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:09,115 I-isn't that what you're doing now? 414 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:12,422 Anyway, just, uh, let me know where you wanna go, 415 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,033 and I'll send you there. 416 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,081 Oh, and, um, for the record, 417 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,213 I don't actually pay the women for sex. 418 00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:25,609 Just for sitting on... cake, 419 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:30,527 on balloons, glass tables. It's not even really sexual. 420 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,226 - Well, not at first. - You don't have to explain it. 421 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:36,359 Uh, well, you know, no. I don't have anyone to tell. 422 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:40,319 And it really feels good to, uh, to share. 423 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,105 It started back at my tenth birthday. 424 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,238 My mom's friend Dolores came, 425 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:50,286 and, oh, my God, she had a body for sitting on. 426 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,812 S-s-sumptuous. 427 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,120 [indistinct song] 428 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:04,779 Okay, everybody, it's time to move outside for the fireworks! 429 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:08,043 And whoever is the owner of the black Mercedes-AMG 430 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:11,829 parked outside, I'll be by the beech tree. 431 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,918 [instrumental music] 432 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,619 [Jan] Okay, everybody, Jan and the Springstreets will continue 433 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:21,709 after the fireworks. Go out, see the lights. 434 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,760 Hey. 435 00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,110 Not now, colonel. Ahem. 436 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,501 The fireworks are about to start. 437 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:33,851 Don't you wanna be out there for 'em? 438 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,722 I'm good. Leave me alone. 439 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,159 [sniffles] 440 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,600 - You all right? - Dad. 441 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,212 What's wrong? Um... 442 00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,169 - Anything I can help you with? - No. 443 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,085 I don't get the dad who helps. 444 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,870 I get the dad who makes everything worse. 445 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:56,918 Okay, well... 446 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:00,922 maybe I don't wanna be that dad anymore. 447 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:10,801 You can stay if you don't say anything or do anything. 448 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:16,459 We both know I can be that dad. 449 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,896 - [fireworks exploding] - [crowd cheering] 450 00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,465 I do love fireworks. 451 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:26,034 Who do you think put the first Roman candle in your hand? 452 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:32,258 Six was way too young for that, by the way. 453 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,260 You have all your fingers. 454 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,394 I know that Katja broke up with you. 455 00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,789 How do you know that? 456 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,660 Mom texted me. 457 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,662 How does mom know? 458 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:50,798 Katja's on her way to the Quinn family ex-wife vacation. 459 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:53,583 You gotta be kidding me. Great. So now there's four of them. 460 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,672 It's like I'm starting a basketball team 461 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:59,676 of brilliant women who hate my guts. The team's complete. 462 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,984 Abe's ex told me she wants to transfer to Stroopsdorf. 463 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,593 And she hates my guts already. 464 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,029 But she's just gonna 465 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,163 make my life living hell. 466 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,385 There's some things you could do about it. 467 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,779 You could deny her on-base housing, 468 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,521 make her a roping instructor, force them into long-distance, 469 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,174 put her in charge of cheese coagulation, 470 00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,438 make her smell like rancid milk. 471 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:27,834 That's... too much. 472 00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,706 Yeah, it is 'cause she doesn't need to be in charge. 473 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:32,491 She'd smell like rancid milk a lot longer 474 00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:34,972 if she had to start at the bottom and work her way up, 475 00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:36,974 'cause then we-we got her in there, like, for at least 476 00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,760 a year, maybe a year and a half, right? 477 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,283 Right. 478 00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:43,894 They'd be calling her Stinky by then. 479 00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:45,331 [both laughing] 480 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:51,859 Yeah, well, I never thought I would say this, but... 481 00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:58,822 I am really glad that you're here, dad. 482 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,220 [fireworks exploding] 483 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,441 I'm not going anywhere. 484 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,446 [fireworks exploding] 485 00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:22,716 ♪ I'm a Bruce Springsteen sweaty hero man ♪ 486 00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:26,981 ♪ But America just doesn't understand ♪ 487 00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:29,026 ♪ That I sing about your working class ♪ 488 00:21:29,113 --> 00:21:31,986 ♪ In a gravelly rasp but in reality ♪ 489 00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:35,119 ♪ I'm a billionaire under the globalist command ♪ 490 00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:38,775 ♪ Conceived in the continental United States ♪ 491 00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:43,650 ♪ I was conceived in the continental United States ♪ 492 00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:46,783 ♪ Conceived in the continental United States ♪ 493 00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:51,265 ♪ I was conceived in the continental United States ♪ 494 00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:52,354 ♪ Yeah 495 00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:54,530 [children] It's going so well!