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[bathroom fan]
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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[blowing lips]
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[vocal warm ups]
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Okay.
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In the romance audiobook production system
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there are two separate
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yet equally important groups.
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The authors who write the books,
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and the narrators who read them.
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These are their sto--
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[bathroom fan]
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[fan switched off]
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Ahem!
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These are their stories.
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[door shuts]
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Well...
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no, this is just her story
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The lady in the closet.
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Her name's Jasalyn.
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She goes by 'Jaw.'
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'Jaw Recorder.'
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Do the sound.
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[DUN DUN]
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[dog clicker]
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Katia met his eyes as he grabbed her.
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He leaned in toward her ear.
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His hot breath against her neck sent
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chills down her spine as he whispered...
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"Let's get out of here."
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He slowly sid his hand--
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He slowly slid his hand
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down her back.
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Part of her knew she should run.
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but the bigger part
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the part that sent a flush to her face
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and a quiver down her thighs,
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that part obeyed gladly.
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[making tea]
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[silence]
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[dog clicker]
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The sweat drip
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[stomach rumble]
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[dog clicker]
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The sweat drip
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[stomach rumble]
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[dog clicker]
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The sweat drip
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[stomach rumble]
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Oh, my god!
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[kitchen sounds]
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[silence]
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[dog clicker]
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The sweat dripped between her breasts.
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The cool breeze played across her
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[leaf blower]
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[Western guitar]
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Four out of five
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leaf blower related homicides
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are committed by
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audiobook narrators.
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If a leaf blower is murdered
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in your neighborhood
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please report any known
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audiobook narrators
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to your local police.
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[Western music]
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[dog clicker]
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The cool breeze played across her
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[Facetime ringing]
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Hey, Richard.
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Hey.
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I wanted to make sure you got my email.
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Oh, no.
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I've been recording all morning.
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Layla just emailed,
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said there's a rewrite
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coming to the end of the book.
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I wanted to make sure you hadn't
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gotten to those chapters.
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Uh
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I'm only on
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chapter three.
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Three?
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Well, I got a little behind
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but
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I've got my week clear
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to get it done.
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Well
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check your email.
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Will do.
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And thanks so much for
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getting me this book.
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[dog clicker]
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The cool breeze played across
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Damn it.
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Hey, Carly, what's up?
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I got a ton to record.
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Okay, just super quick.
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Is this headshot too young?
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You're kidding, right?
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Okay. Uh...
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I've been playing around with Photoshop.
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What do you think?
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Did I go too far?
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No, I don't think you went far enough.
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How about a halo?
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Maybe some puppy ears?
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How about some sparkles?
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Rude.
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Look, I gotta go.
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I'm way behind on this book
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and I got this new neighbor moving in.
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I gotta go.
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Oh, okay.
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Drinks this weekend?
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Yes.
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Bye.
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[Facetime call ends]
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Okay, great.
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[dog clicker]
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The cool breeze played
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[Door slams upstairs]
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[Foot step]
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[Foot step]
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[Foot step]
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[organ music]
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It's so quiet here.
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[inhales]
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Ah!
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I love it.
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[dramatic music]
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[silent scream]
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[seething]
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Muh-mah.
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Muh-MAH!
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Muh-mah, muh-mah,
muh muh-muh-muh mah.
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Guh gaw.
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Guh gaw.
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Guh GAW!
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Guh GAW!
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Guh-gaw, guh-gaw,
guh guh-guh-guh-gaw.
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Puh paw.
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Puh paw.
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Puh PAW!
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Puh-paw, puh-paw,
puh puh-puh-puh-paw.
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[mouth warm ups]
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In the audiobook production system
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listeners will often leave reviews
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on the narrator's performance.
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These reviews can affect
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the sales of the book
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and also
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whether the narrator is hired again.
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Jaw, you're sounding really good.
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Thanks, Patty.
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I really feel the difference
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in my head tones.
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Anything else you want to work on?
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We have 10 more minutes.
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Well, actually, there was.
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So...
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I was looking over my
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reviews the other day
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You know better than to read reviews.
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I know. Normally, I wouldn’t even care
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but this one, it really--
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I don't know, I kind of pride myself
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when it comes to the steamy parts.
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It's your bread and butter.
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Well, thank you.
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But this reviewer said...
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well here, let me just read it to you.
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The narration of the sex
scenes ruined the book.
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Apparently, the narrator's
take on seduction
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is like a grandma bribing
children with cookies.
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And when she got to the orgasm
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she might as well have been
reading a shopping list
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Would give it zero stars if I could.
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[smoke]
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[poof]
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A grandma bribing children?
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They’re obviously a troll.
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Do you think we could
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work on
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Well, could we work on my...
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Well, specifically my...
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um...
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Your “O” sounds?
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Yeah.
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Maybe I need some new tricks.
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Of course.
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Well
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for me
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the orgasm is all about
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varying the vowels.
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Huh.
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Everyone always wants to go
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straight for the “O.”
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The...
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"ooooooooh."
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But
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that leaves four
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perfectly good sounds
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off the table.
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Let's start with
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“A.”
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"A."
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"A."
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Deeper.
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From your ovaries.
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"A."
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Better.
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00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,690
Now “E”
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in repetition.
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E, E, E, E.
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E, E, E, E.
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I, I, I!
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I, I, I!
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Okay, good.
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And finally
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the most deadly tool
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in your erotic arsenal
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"U"
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00:09:00,850 --> 00:09:02,000
It is
227
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,590
the pièce de résistance.
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Really?
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00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:10,880
"Uuuuu…"
230
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:15,120
"Uuuuu…"
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[orgasmic vocalizations]
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Now, all together.
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[muffled orgasmic sounds]
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Almost there, Jaw. Almost there.
235
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Do the last one again!
236
00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:41,360
[muffled orgasmic sounds]
237
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,280
Like that, Patty? Am I getting it?
238
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,020
Uuuuuuuu
239
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:48,740
Keep going. Almost there.
240
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:59,340
[orgasmic vocalizations]
241
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:00,090
How is it?
242
00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:01,160
So good!
243
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,000
Yes!
244
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:04,100
And
245
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,840
you can play with
246
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,850
tempo, pitch, volume
247
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,850
with every vowel.
248
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,760
You don't think it's a bit much?
249
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:15,600
Jasalyn
250
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,100
your listeners
251
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,030
want
252
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,180
a bit much.
253
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,480
Fair enough.
254
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,160
I'll try it tonight,
255
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,920
Thanks so much, Patty.
256
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,910
[DUN DUN]
257
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:32,800
[silence]
258
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,220
[dog clicker]
259
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,680
[silence]
260
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,450
O god.
261
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:40,760
E god.
262
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,680
I god.
263
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,390
Yes
264
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:45,610
Yes
265
00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:46,630
Yes
266
00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:47,970
Again?
267
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:50,800
She felt his
268
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,640
majestic magnetic cock
269
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,390
pulsing
270
00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:55,690
ripping her orgasm out of her.
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00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,020
Oh, Jake.
272
00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:58,300
Oh
273
00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,490
Jake.
274
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,110
Ooooh Jake.
275
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:03,590
Jake?
276
00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:06,170
What happened to Patty?
277
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,730
Oh!
278
00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:08,780
A!
279
00:11:08,780 --> 00:11:09,560
E!
280
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,400
I!
281
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,250
O!
282
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,960
U!
283
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:14,910
Ooh, sorry, Jake
284
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:17,020
but that is not
285
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,370
a real orgasm.
286
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,800
In the world of romance audiobooks
287
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,420
Nailed it.
288
00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:22,590
everyone's a critic.
289
00:11:22,590 --> 00:12:08,610
[motor noise]
290
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:10,050
Chapter Four.
291
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,610
Jake pulled up to the yard.
292
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,410
He noticed Tilly showering,
293
00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:18,160
the bathroom window open
294
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,840
letting out the steam.
295
00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:21,730
He took a moment to
296
00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:24,050
sit on his motorcycle and watch her.
297
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,720
He longed to be with her
298
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:29,620
feel the touch of her skin.
299
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,110
His body ached deep inside
300
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,580
and he cherished this private moment
301
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,000
where he could see her
302
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,710
completely unaware.
303
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:42,710
Under his breath, he whispered,
304
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:45,800
“Good god, I love that woman.”
305
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,600
His heart pounding out of his chest,
306
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,750
he leaped from his motorcycle
307
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,370
and bounded up the front porch steps.
308
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,920
She heard his feet climbing up the stairs
309
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,840
two at a time.
310
00:12:58,620 --> 00:12:59,720
She turned the water off
311
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:00,560
and then she clutched
312
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,800
her towel at her breast.
313
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,690
Jake was in the door
314
00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:04,640
faster than she could even
315
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,260
get the towel over her body.
316
00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,630
“I hope you're not planning on drying off,"
317
00:13:09,630 --> 00:13:11,340
he said gruffly,
318
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,090
"cuz I'm about to make you wet.”
319
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,430
"Jake! I thought you were coming on Friday."
320
00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:18,310
"Plans change.
321
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,510
Now, speaking of coming..."
322
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,450
Ah...
323
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,420
[relaxing sounds]
324
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:38,750
[upbeat music]
325
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:39,540
Hey, Richard.
326
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:41,040
Hey, Richard.
327
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,050
Hey, Richard.
328
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,250
Hey, Richard.
329
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:44,500
It’s Jasalyn.
330
00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:46,180
It's Jasalyn.
331
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:47,280
It's Jasalyn.
332
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:48,960
Hey, I got your email.
333
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,210
Hey, Richard,
334
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:52,670
can I call you Dick?
335
00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:56,010
Oh my gosh, I'd love to talk shop.
336
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:59,090
Oh, I’d love to go out for a drink.
337
00:13:59,090 --> 00:13:59,930
Talk shop.
338
00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:02,430
I’d love to go on a date with you.
339
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:03,760
Talk romance?
340
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,060
Since we are playing love interests,
341
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,810
and we read complementing sex scenes...
342
00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,590
"Complementing sex scenes."
343
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:13,690
Complementing sex scenes.
344
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:15,510
I am a human.
345
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,560
Take me out to dinner.
346
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,600
I like to drink.
347
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:27,830
[upbeat music]
348
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:28,830
Hey, Richard.
349
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:29,460
Hey.
350
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,250
I got your email.
351
00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:32,460
Hey.
352
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:34,920
Ooh, red.
353
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,310
We could...
354
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,940
...have a drink.
355
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,250
Talk romance.
356
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,850
♪ I don't want to be a loser ♪
357
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,650
♪ Just another good girl ♪
358
00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:50,310
♪ you use to get anything you want ♪
359
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:53,540
♪ Trick my heart but I know better ♪
360
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:55,540
♪ than to be maneuvered ♪
361
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,370
♪ and let you ditch me when you're done ♪
362
00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:05,370
[silence]
363
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,660
[Facetime ringing]
364
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:07,680
Hey, Richard.
365
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:08,830
Hi.
366
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,830
[Facetime rings]
367
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,320
Hey, Richard.
368
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,240
It's Jasalyn.
369
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,110
You can call me Jaw.
370
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:18,250
I do not have a jaw at that angle.
371
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,600
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
372
00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:30,080
[Facetime ringing]
373
00:15:31,000 --> 00:16:03,770
[suspenseful music]
374
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,390
Tonight!
375
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,820
Things are heating up in the villa,
376
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,770
when new lads are introduced to the mix
377
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,100
and nobody can find their clothes!
378
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:26,540
[Facetime ringing]
379
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:27,800
[gasp]
380
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,450
Richard, hi.
381
00:16:31,370 --> 00:16:32,830
Hi. You called me?
382
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,580
Yeah, I did.
383
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,710
What’s up?
384
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,570
I got your email and...
385
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,630
And I was wondering...
386
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:45,220
Oh no.
387
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:47,340
Are you missing a tooth?
388
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:48,850
What?
389
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:50,970
Oh.
390
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:54,140
I was just...
391
00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:56,150
...eating some chocolate.
392
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:57,670
Oh, man.
393
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,840
Thought you were gonna say you can't record
394
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,520
because you lost a bridge or something.
395
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,650
No, I have all my teeth.
396
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,090
I was just eating
397
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:08,700
some cake.
398
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,510
[silence]
399
00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:13,520
So...
400
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:14,790
what’s up?
401
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:17,960
Well...
402
00:17:19,130 --> 00:17:20,290
I got your email
403
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:21,830
Yeah...?
404
00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:24,230
And I was
405
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:26,720
wondering
406
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:29,610
Yes?
407
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:31,440
I was wondering
408
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,170
Um...
409
00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:47,570
[suspenseful music]
410
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,250
Um...
411
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:51,210
how you were pronouncing
412
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:52,330
the main guy's name.
413
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:54,830
Jake?
414
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:58,970
Yeah, Jake.
415
00:18:01,370 --> 00:18:02,670
How else would you say it?
416
00:18:03,370 --> 00:18:04,670
Uh...
417
00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:06,880
Jock?
418
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:08,960
Jock?
419
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:10,890
So Jake?
420
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:12,720
Jake.
421
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,680
Cool. That's how I was doing it.
422
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,550
And thanks so much
423
00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:18,940
for getting me this book.
424
00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,770
I’m a huge romance fan.
425
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:21,750
You might say
426
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,560
romance is kind of my thing.
427
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:25,900
Oh.
428
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:27,660
Cool.
429
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:29,240
Well.
430
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:30,640
I gotta go.
431
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:32,700
Okay. bye.
432
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:37,050
"Romance is kind of my thing?"
433
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,970
[fork sounds]
434
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:43,920
Romance is kind of my thing.
435
00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:48,010
I'm just real romantic.
436
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,680
Queen Romance.
437
00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:52,590
With chocolate all over my teeth.
438
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:55,310
[peaceful quiet]
439
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:56,510
[Sigh]
440
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:07,490
[motor noise]
441
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,010
What the fuck is that sound?
442
00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:34,420
[motor noise]
443
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,070
Hello.
444
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,200
No one is available to take your call.
445
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,440
Hey, Mr. Patino.
446
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,690
It's Jasalyn in Apartment 205.
447
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,600
I'm calling because there's this
448
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,510
weird motor sound
449
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:46,100
that I'm hearing like all night.
450
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,590
I think it's coming from the new guy
451
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:48,850
that just moved in,
452
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:49,890
So...
453
00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:51,260
I'm wondering if you could
454
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:52,520
talk to him or
455
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,910
figure out what's going on.
456
00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:55,440
Uh, thanks.
457
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:56,230
Bye.
458
00:19:56,230 --> 00:20:00,450
[motor noise]
459
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,390
"How dare you?"
460
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,890
Katia slapped Tilly across the face.
461
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,160
Jake grabbed her,
462
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,710
her shoulders now exposed.
463
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,460
With his firm grip on her waist,
464
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:16,480
[silence]
465
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:18,220
[dog clicker]
466
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,490
With his firm grip on her waist,
467
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:22,930
Jake pushed her out of the room
468
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:23,790
and shut the door.
469
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:25,580
"Calm down."
470
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,050
"She is on my last nerve."
471
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:29,410
"I know.
472
00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:31,250
Take a deep breath
473
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,400
and let's see if we can't
474
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,500
do something to settle those nerves."
475
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,460
His calloused hands slid up
476
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:41,000
[ukulele above]
477
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,000
[dog clicker]
478
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:47,910
His calloused hands slid
479
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:51,570
[ukulele above]
480
00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:54,510
[dog clicker]
481
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:56,260
His calloused hand
482
00:20:56,260 --> 00:21:02,700
[singing and ukulele from above]
483
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,620
Jasalyn is not the type to confront.
484
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,270
She hates confrontation.
485
00:21:06,610 --> 00:21:07,800
She thinks maybe she can wait
486
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,090
for the music to stop.
487
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:12,590
No.
488
00:21:12,590 --> 00:21:14,260
It's time to face the music.
489
00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:16,170
Guess I gotta put on a bra...
490
00:21:16,170 --> 00:21:20,750
[singing and ukulele]
491
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:21,980
Ah, fuck it.
492
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,910
[foot steps]
493
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:44,420
[singing and ukulele]
494
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,080
[wonderful silence]
495
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:51,120
Hi.
496
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,910
I am your downstairs neighbor.
497
00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:53,500
Oh.
498
00:21:53,740 --> 00:21:57,510
[orgasm sounds]
499
00:21:58,130 --> 00:21:59,040
Oh.
500
00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:01,300
I'm Larry, it's
501
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:02,090
nice to meet you.
502
00:22:02,090 --> 00:22:03,800
Jasalyn. So...
503
00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:06,380
I work from home.
504
00:22:06,930 --> 00:22:08,260
Must be nice to work in your robe.
505
00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:10,050
Yeah, not having to get dressed
506
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,220
is an added perk.
507
00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:13,100
You know, I uh...
508
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:13,890
I think I heard you working
509
00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:14,890
when I was moving in.
510
00:22:15,270 --> 00:22:15,810
Oh.
511
00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:17,770
I didn't realize I could be heard up here.
512
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:18,230
Well
513
00:22:18,230 --> 00:22:19,730
the apartment was completely empty
514
00:22:19,730 --> 00:22:21,270
so I think sound carries more.
515
00:22:21,270 --> 00:22:23,400
and it was really only during the
516
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,770
Oh, yes!
517
00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:26,200
Oh!
518
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,780
Peak moments.
519
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:31,990
I do really get into the role playing of it all.
520
00:22:31,990 --> 00:22:34,330
Jasalyn is unaware that Larry believes
521
00:22:34,330 --> 00:22:35,580
she is a prostitute.
522
00:22:35,580 --> 00:22:37,750
Which is actually why I'm here.
523
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:38,960
I had to stop because
524
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,290
I could hear you playing an instrument.
525
00:22:41,670 --> 00:22:42,920
Oh, my ukulele.
526
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:44,550
Yeah, you were playing
527
00:22:44,550 --> 00:22:45,760
right above where I work.
528
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:47,550
Oh, well, uh...
529
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,380
Why don't you show me
530
00:22:48,380 --> 00:22:49,010
where you're working
531
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:50,470
and then I can make sure I'm
532
00:22:50,930 --> 00:22:52,010
you know, I’m
533
00:22:52,010 --> 00:22:52,760
not there.
534
00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:53,930
Oh!
535
00:22:53,930 --> 00:22:55,310
Yeah, that'd be great.
536
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,020
[closet door sliding[
537
00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:00,150
In the closet? Really?
538
00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:00,980
Yeah.
539
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,520
A lot of people do it in the closet.
540
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,780
It's kind of an industry standard now.
541
00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:06,440
Oh, I didn't realize.
542
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:08,700
Yeah, I wouldn't think you would.
543
00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:11,000
[sliding door shut]
544
00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:13,240
So do you do it like...
545
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,160
every day?
546
00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:16,290
Yeah, pretty much.
547
00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:18,040
I mean, there's always dry spells,
548
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,540
but for the most part, every day.
549
00:23:19,790 --> 00:23:20,710
Wow.
550
00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:22,710
I hope it's good money.
551
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,090
It depends on the rate.
552
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:25,250
And the book.
553
00:23:25,590 --> 00:23:27,010
You mean how long they book you for?
554
00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:28,050
Kind of.
555
00:23:28,050 --> 00:23:28,670
I mean, there's
556
00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:31,180
usually a general schedule but
557
00:23:31,180 --> 00:23:33,140
it takes as long as it takes, you know?
558
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:35,060
I'm paid by the hour, so
559
00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:36,680
I try to go as slow, you know.
560
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,310
really
561
00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:38,270
milk it out.
562
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:40,980
Oh.
563
00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:43,230
But when it's a really long one
564
00:23:43,230 --> 00:23:44,440
my throat gets really sore
565
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:45,570
and I have to take breaks.
566
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:47,900
Oh.
567
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:49,700
That's
568
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,110
brave of you to share.
569
00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:52,200
Well, it's like that
570
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,660
with every profession, right?
571
00:23:53,660 --> 00:23:54,620
Gotta take breaks.
572
00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:55,910
Uh, yeah, I uh...
573
00:23:57,370 --> 00:23:58,500
I take breaks too.
574
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:02,040
Is that an air mattress?
575
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,210
Yeah.
576
00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:05,920
I've tried all kinds of beds
577
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,380
and this keeps me the coolest.
578
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:07,920
Also
579
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,460
it's super easy to clean off.
580
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:10,170
You just
581
00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:11,720
take it outside and hose it off.
582
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,340
You might find that useful.
583
00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:14,850
Why?
584
00:24:16,510 --> 00:24:17,220
Um.
585
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:18,890
Hygiene?
586
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,100
Oh.
587
00:24:21,350 --> 00:24:21,980
And yeah
588
00:24:21,980 --> 00:24:22,690
people complain about
589
00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:23,690
them losing air?
590
00:24:23,690 --> 00:24:24,520
But I just leave
591
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,940
the motor running all night.
592
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:29,340
Allll niiiiight
593
00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:30,570
And what’s great is
594
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:32,200
I don’t need a white noise machine
595
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:33,700
because you're hearing the motor.
596
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:34,660
I can't hear a thing.
597
00:24:34,660 --> 00:24:35,870
You could be screaming in your apartment
598
00:24:35,870 --> 00:24:37,530
and I wouldn't hear anything.
599
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:40,620
Yeah, it's
600
00:24:40,620 --> 00:24:41,460
pretty loud.
601
00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:42,410
You know, before I started
602
00:24:42,410 --> 00:24:43,750
using this air mattress strategy
603
00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:45,920
I had a really bad sleep disorder.
604
00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,340
But this has cured it.
605
00:24:47,630 --> 00:24:48,670
Cured it completely.
606
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:49,590
Overnight.
607
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:51,010
I was on a CPAP machine,
608
00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:52,170
I was taking blood thinners,
609
00:24:52,170 --> 00:24:53,510
I was doing blood thickeners.
610
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:54,680
Nothing worked
611
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,840
except this air mattress.
612
00:24:56,970 --> 00:24:58,010
It's the best.
613
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,140
[awkward silence]
614
00:25:01,850 --> 00:25:02,640
Well...
615
00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,520
You got the gist of where I work
616
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:06,270
and
617
00:25:06,980 --> 00:25:08,480
where I need it quiet.
618
00:25:08,610 --> 00:25:09,110
Yes.
619
00:25:09,110 --> 00:25:10,480
Yes, and thank you for being direct.
620
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,530
I really appreciate it.
621
00:25:11,690 --> 00:25:12,280
Yeah.
622
00:25:12,610 --> 00:25:13,650
Of course.
623
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:14,780
I like keeping it real.
624
00:25:14,910 --> 00:25:15,570
Totally.
625
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:16,780
Hold on.
626
00:25:16,780 --> 00:25:19,820
[phone ringing]
627
00:25:21,450 --> 00:25:22,020
Uh...
628
00:25:22,580 --> 00:25:23,910
Mr. Patino, hi.
629
00:25:24,450 --> 00:25:26,710
[muffled voice]
630
00:25:27,130 --> 00:25:28,290
Oh, really?
631
00:25:29,170 --> 00:25:29,920
Someone complained
632
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:30,800
about a motor noise
633
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,420
coming from my apartment.
634
00:25:33,130 --> 00:25:34,010
Okay.
635
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:35,300
Thanks for letting me know.
636
00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:40,050
[hostile silence]
637
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:41,060
Well
638
00:25:41,060 --> 00:25:43,050
I should get back to work.
639
00:25:45,650 --> 00:25:47,340
[blows lips]
640
00:25:49,710 --> 00:25:50,850
[dog clicker]
641
00:25:51,980 --> 00:25:53,150
His calloused hands
642
00:25:53,150 --> 00:25:54,440
slid up to her shoulders.
643
00:25:54,740 --> 00:25:56,150
Her heart was pounding.
644
00:25:56,530 --> 00:25:57,410
She breathed in slow
645
00:25:57,410 --> 00:26:01,280
[singing and ukulele]
646
00:26:02,140 --> 00:26:06,680
[terse silence]
647
00:26:07,460 --> 00:26:07,870
Hey.
648
00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:08,920
you're still playing your music
649
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:09,790
right above me.
650
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,920
Well.
651
00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:14,090
As long as it's not my air mattress,
652
00:26:14,090 --> 00:26:15,670
I don't see what the problem is.
653
00:26:16,010 --> 00:26:16,260
What?
654
00:26:18,090 --> 00:26:19,260
I know it was you.
655
00:26:19,890 --> 00:26:21,350
You don't know it was me.
656
00:26:21,350 --> 00:26:22,890
That motor is really loud.
657
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:24,220
I'm sure everybody hears it.
658
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,140
And by "everyone"
659
00:26:25,140 --> 00:26:26,390
you mean your client.
660
00:26:26,810 --> 00:26:27,480
Listen
661
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,310
I cannot be delayed anymore.
662
00:26:29,310 --> 00:26:30,610
Can you please play your music
663
00:26:30,610 --> 00:26:31,940
in the other room please?
664
00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,030
Why don't you do your work
665
00:26:33,030 --> 00:26:33,690
in the other room?
666
00:26:33,690 --> 00:26:34,480
I can't.
667
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,240
Right. Sure.
668
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,530
Larry, do you have any idea
669
00:26:36,530 --> 00:26:37,820
how sensitive my mic is?
670
00:26:37,820 --> 00:26:38,820
It picks up everything.
671
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:39,950
Your mic?
672
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,200
For the recording.
673
00:26:42,780 --> 00:26:43,700
You're recording?
674
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:44,700
Yeah!
675
00:26:44,950 --> 00:26:46,290
I thought you were...
676
00:26:47,410 --> 00:26:48,580
You know, doing it live.
677
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:49,210
What?
678
00:26:49,370 --> 00:26:49,960
No.
679
00:26:50,290 --> 00:26:51,210
How would that even work?
680
00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:52,500
Well... I don't know.
681
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:53,960
Larry is now under the assumption
682
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,880
that Jasalyn is what is known as
683
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,760
a "camgirl."
684
00:26:57,090 --> 00:26:58,300
a video performer
685
00:26:58,300 --> 00:27:00,140
who does erotic acts online
686
00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:01,090
such as stripping,
687
00:27:01,090 --> 00:27:02,050
masturbation,
688
00:27:02,050 --> 00:27:03,100
or provocative gyrating
689
00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:04,140
in exchange for money.
690
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,770
So you’re alone down there?
691
00:27:06,310 --> 00:27:07,600
Of course I'm alone.
692
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:08,440
Don't you know anything?
693
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,230
Well, not about that.
694
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:10,440
I’ve never bought one.
695
00:27:10,770 --> 00:27:11,980
Well, you should be grateful
696
00:27:11,980 --> 00:27:12,860
you don't have to.
697
00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:13,730
Nobody has to.
698
00:27:13,730 --> 00:27:14,440
Uh...
699
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,650
what about people with disabilities, Larry?
700
00:27:16,650 --> 00:27:17,650
Blind people.
701
00:27:17,650 --> 00:27:18,650
You ever think about that?
702
00:27:18,990 --> 00:27:19,650
No.
703
00:27:19,820 --> 00:27:20,780
Well, think about that, Larry.
704
00:27:21,030 --> 00:27:22,950
The next time you want to interrupt my work
705
00:27:22,950 --> 00:27:24,790
think about all those blind people.
706
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,620
You're not hurting me, Larry.
707
00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:27,580
You're hurting them.
708
00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:28,040
Fine
709
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,540
I'll play my ukulele in the other room.
710
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:30,370
Thank you.
711
00:27:30,370 --> 00:27:32,040
Thank you on behalf of all those in need.
712
00:27:32,770 --> 00:27:34,370
Jesus, give a girl a webcam and
713
00:27:34,370 --> 00:27:36,370
and she thinks she's Mother Theresa
714
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,000
“You're not hurting me, Larry”
715
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,080
"you're hurting them."
716
00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:40,250
Yeah.
717
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:41,310
That was a good one.
718
00:27:41,310 --> 00:27:42,420
You put him in his place.
719
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,340
Wait, a webcam girl for the blind?
720
00:27:48,220 --> 00:27:50,110
[DUN DUN]
721
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:56,170
[silence]
722
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,430
In the audiobook production system
723
00:27:58,430 --> 00:28:00,270
there are two types of narrators.
724
00:28:02,060 --> 00:28:02,650
and those that sometimes venture out
Those that are strictly behind a mic
725
00:28:02,650 --> 00:28:03,390
and those that sometimes venture out
726
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:04,810
and get in front of the camera.
727
00:28:05,350 --> 00:28:06,440
These are their stories.
728
00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:07,690
Hey!
729
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:08,690
Hi.
730
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:09,820
I like your setup.
731
00:28:10,570 --> 00:28:12,110
Thank you so much for helping me.
732
00:28:12,110 --> 00:28:14,570
I haven't done a self tape audition in forever.
733
00:28:14,570 --> 00:28:15,570
I'm really nervous.
734
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,450
You're reading General Knox
735
00:28:17,450 --> 00:28:19,370
who I think is George Clooney?
736
00:28:19,660 --> 00:28:21,080
They haven't announced it officially yet
737
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,910
but that seems to be the part that he would play.
738
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:24,790
Oh my God, that's so exciting.
739
00:28:25,370 --> 00:28:27,080
Do you want to just jump in?
740
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,210
Should I point once I hit record?
741
00:28:29,210 --> 00:28:31,210
Yeah, just give me a “one, two,” and point.
742
00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:33,800
Like, "one, two, three, action!"
743
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,100
Yeah, but don't say the three, or action.
744
00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:39,680
Oh.
745
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,310
Just say “one, two,” point.
746
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,140
Like one, two
747
00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:43,770
point.
748
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:44,770
Don't say “point.”
749
00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:45,850
Obviously.
750
00:28:46,230 --> 00:28:47,560
And let me know when you hit record.
751
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,110
All right. Hitting record.
752
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,440
No, say “rolling.”
753
00:28:53,150 --> 00:28:53,650
Rolling?
754
00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,650
When you hit record.
755
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:55,320
Well
756
00:28:55,490 --> 00:28:57,280
say rolling and then
757
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,030
hit record.
758
00:28:59,580 --> 00:29:00,280
Should I stop it?
759
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:01,250
Yes.
760
00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:02,450
[camera beep]
761
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,000
Rolling
762
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:05,500
One
763
00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:05,830
Oh
764
00:29:05,830 --> 00:29:07,120
but don't hit the button
765
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:07,960
and then say “one,”
766
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:08,960
hit the button on “two.”
767
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:12,210
So say “rolling, one,”
768
00:29:12,590 --> 00:29:13,880
...hit record as you say “two,”
769
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,050
and then point.
770
00:29:15,930 --> 00:29:17,260
Oh, okay.
771
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:19,550
Rolling...
772
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,550
one...
773
00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:21,720
two...
774
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:24,140
Hi.
775
00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:25,730
I am Carly Sloan
776
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:26,810
and I am reading
777
00:29:27,980 --> 00:29:29,190
I'm going to try that again.
778
00:29:30,220 --> 00:29:31,680
[nervous breathing]
779
00:29:32,190 --> 00:29:33,400
Okay.
780
00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:35,820
Rolling. One, two.
781
00:29:37,530 --> 00:29:38,240
Hi.
782
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,410
I am Carly Sloan
783
00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:41,280
and I am reading for scientist
784
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:41,990
number three
785
00:29:42,700 --> 00:29:43,660
When will we know
786
00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:45,330
if the treatment is usable?
787
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:48,710
Are you gonna do it like that?
788
00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:49,420
Yeah, that's like
789
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:50,960
one of my best guy voices.
790
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:52,170
Uh-huh.
791
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:53,960
Maybe just take it down a notch.
792
00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:55,340
Like smaller?
793
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:56,340
Much smaller.
794
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:57,380
I can do that.
795
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:58,300
Okay.
796
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,220
Rolling. One, two...
797
00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:03,600
Hi. I'm Carly Sloan,
798
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:04,430
and I am reading
799
00:30:04,430 --> 00:30:05,890
for Scientist Number 3.
800
00:30:07,060 --> 00:30:07,730
When will we know
801
00:30:07,730 --> 00:30:09,020
if the treatment is usable?
802
00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:11,110
Dr. Erickson reported
803
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:12,310
the dodecahedron
804
00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:15,530
Should I wear my glasses, do you think?
805
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:17,740
Oh, ‘cause she's a scientist.
806
00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:18,610
Yeah.
807
00:30:18,610 --> 00:30:19,530
Definitely. Yeah.
808
00:30:20,030 --> 00:30:20,740
Great idea.
809
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,820
[glasses fidgeting]
810
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:26,620
Go for it.
811
00:30:26,790 --> 00:30:29,370
Okay. Rolling. One, two...
812
00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:32,460
Hi. I'm Carly Sloan
813
00:30:32,460 --> 00:30:33,540
Wait, cut.
814
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:34,800
Why don't you
815
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,920
put the glasses on
816
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:36,920
after the intro
817
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:37,840
so it's like
818
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,300
"Hi, Carly Sloan."
819
00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:39,970
"How you doing?"
820
00:30:39,970 --> 00:30:41,510
and then boom.
821
00:30:41,510 --> 00:30:43,010
Serious Mrs. Science Woman.
822
00:30:43,010 --> 00:30:43,890
Ooh, I like that.
823
00:30:43,890 --> 00:30:44,180
Yeah?
824
00:30:44,180 --> 00:30:45,390
Yeah, that's good. Okay.
825
00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:48,140
Rolling. One, two.
826
00:30:48,730 --> 00:30:49,980
Hi. I’m Carly Sloan
827
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:50,640
and I am reading
828
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,020
for Scientist Number 3.
829
00:30:52,270 --> 00:30:52,980
When will we know
830
00:30:52,980 --> 00:30:54,020
if the treatment is usable?
831
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,480
Dr. Erickson reported
832
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,440
that the dodecahedron
833
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,400
mass collider trials
834
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,110
led to unexpected
835
00:30:58,110 --> 00:30:59,240
geometric sequencing.
836
00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:00,650
So we don't know.
837
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:02,450
Great.
838
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,330
I think I can do better.
839
00:31:04,330 --> 00:31:04,870
Okay.
840
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,410
Rolling. One, two.
841
00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,710
Hi. I'm Carly Sloan
842
00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:10,460
and I am reading
843
00:31:10,460 --> 00:31:12,040
for Scientist Number 3.
844
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:13,460
When will we know
845
00:31:13,460 --> 00:31:14,630
if the treatment is usable?
846
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:15,840
Dr. Erickson reported
847
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,630
the dodecahedron
848
00:31:16,630 --> 00:31:17,590
mass collider trials
849
00:31:17,590 --> 00:31:19,470
led to unexpected geometric sequencing.
850
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:20,720
So we don't show.
851
00:31:21,430 --> 00:31:22,260
Oh, shit.
852
00:31:22,260 --> 00:31:22,840
It's okay.
853
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:23,590
We don't "know."
854
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:24,350
One more time.
855
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:25,260
I'm Carly Sloan--
856
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:26,720
Wait... I gotta count you in.
857
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:27,470
Ah, right.
858
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,480
Rolling. One, two.
859
00:31:30,270 --> 00:31:31,350
Hi.
860
00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:31,810
Hello.
861
00:31:31,810 --> 00:31:32,140
Hi.
862
00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:33,100
Hello. I'm Carly Sloan.
863
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:34,020
I'm Carly Sloan.
864
00:31:34,020 --> 00:31:35,690
I'm Carly Sloan, and I am auditioning
865
00:31:35,690 --> 00:31:36,610
and I am reading
866
00:31:36,610 --> 00:31:38,360
and I am auditioning for Scientist 3.
867
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,110
dodecahedron mass collider trials
868
00:31:40,110 --> 00:31:41,780
led to unexpected geometric sequencing.
869
00:31:41,780 --> 00:31:42,990
geometric sequencing.
870
00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:44,820
led to unexpected geometric sequencing.
871
00:31:44,820 --> 00:31:47,500
unexpected geometric sequencing.
872
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,410
So we... don't know.
873
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:52,920
So we don't know.
874
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:55,540
So we don't know.
875
00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:58,880
And cut!
876
00:31:59,420 --> 00:32:00,380
That was great!
877
00:32:00,380 --> 00:32:00,840
Yeah?
878
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,300
Yeah, that was definitely the one.
879
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:03,550
Here, let me show you.
880
00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:05,890
Oh, shoot.
881
00:32:06,180 --> 00:32:06,550
What?
882
00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:09,010
I didn't hit record.
883
00:32:09,540 --> 00:32:11,910
[DUN DUN]
884
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,230
[bathroom fan]
885
00:32:17,230 --> 00:32:18,940
In the audiobook production system,
886
00:32:18,940 --> 00:32:21,610
there are two equally valid
approaches to narrating.
887
00:32:21,610 --> 00:32:23,070
Those that sit
888
00:32:23,070 --> 00:32:24,610
and those that stand
889
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,610
[moaning]
890
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,820
Her breasts heaved with excitement.
891
00:32:28,820 --> 00:32:39,000
[phone ringing]
892
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:39,710
Hey, Mom.
893
00:32:40,170 --> 00:32:41,670
Happy birthday, honey.
894
00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:42,840
Thanks.
895
00:32:43,090 --> 00:32:44,590
Guess what I got you?
896
00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:45,930
What?
897
00:32:46,220 --> 00:32:48,100
A hemorrhoid pillow!
898
00:32:49,140 --> 00:32:50,260
But I don't have hemorrhoids.
899
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,720
Yeah, but you sit all day.
900
00:32:53,270 --> 00:32:55,020
No, I stand actually.
901
00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:57,060
Well, I got it for you.
902
00:32:57,060 --> 00:32:58,440
It should arrive today.
903
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,320
There's a little note for you too.
904
00:33:00,730 --> 00:33:01,360
Thanks?
905
00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:03,240
I gotta go.
906
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:04,490
I got so much to record.
907
00:33:04,780 --> 00:33:05,700
Well...
908
00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:07,070
Call me this weekend.
909
00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:08,030
Okay. Bye.
910
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,870
Larry is thinking about
his neighbor, Jasalyn.
911
00:33:11,870 --> 00:33:14,330
He would like a second chance
to make a first impression.
912
00:33:16,790 --> 00:33:17,580
What's this?
913
00:33:18,420 --> 00:33:20,250
A package with Jasalyn’s name.
914
00:33:20,670 --> 00:33:21,630
Should he deliver it?
915
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,210
He would like to be a gentleman
916
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,550
but he would also like to have dinner.
917
00:33:28,770 --> 00:33:35,060
[hopeful music]
918
00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,190
Today, he's going to be a gentleman.
919
00:33:38,150 --> 00:33:40,370
Today, this is his story.
920
00:33:40,970 --> 00:33:47,140
[triumphant music]
921
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,540
[dog clicker]
922
00:33:49,490 --> 00:33:51,120
The espresso machine sputtered
923
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:51,910
and burbled
924
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,140
and shot its milky
925
00:33:53,140 --> 00:33:55,340
[doorbell]
926
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,000
[dog clicker]
927
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,670
The espresso machine sputtered
928
00:33:59,670 --> 00:34:00,420
and burbled
929
00:34:00,420 --> 00:34:01,380
and shot its
930
00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:03,380
[doorbell]
931
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,820
[dog clicker]
932
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,420
The espresso machine sputtered
933
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:08,380
and burbled
934
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,180
and shot its milky load.
935
00:34:10,180 --> 00:34:16,000
[doorbell]
936
00:34:18,170 --> 00:34:20,000
[door opening]
937
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:21,810
Hi.
938
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:23,440
Hi.
939
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,070
I know we kind of got on the wrong foot
940
00:34:25,070 --> 00:34:27,740
and so I thought I should give you my number
941
00:34:27,740 --> 00:34:29,150
in case you're working and
942
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,110
you need me to be quiet.
943
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:32,490
Oh, that would be nice. Thanks.
944
00:34:33,370 --> 00:34:34,330
Here's my card.
945
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,370
And just to show you I'm a gentleman,
946
00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:38,250
I saw you had this package downstairs
947
00:34:38,250 --> 00:34:39,250
so I brought it up.
948
00:34:39,250 --> 00:34:45,600
[hellfire music]
949
00:34:47,050 --> 00:34:47,970
That's not mine.
950
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:49,260
It has your name on it.
951
00:34:50,220 --> 00:34:51,130
Must be -
952
00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:52,300
Oh, but there's a birthday card.
953
00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:53,220
Happy birthday Jaw
954
00:34:53,220 --> 00:34:54,680
this will keep your lady parts safe
955
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:55,930
Love, Mom.
956
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:58,600
There is a hemorrhoid cream too.
957
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,230
You can use that with the pillow.
958
00:35:00,230 --> 00:35:04,400
[swanky music]
959
00:35:07,070 --> 00:35:08,650
Should I take it back downstairs?
960
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:10,360
No, I'll take it.
961
00:35:10,780 --> 00:35:11,610
And you know what?
962
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:13,410
if you really want to do something nice for me
963
00:35:13,410 --> 00:35:14,950
how about turning off your air mattress
964
00:35:14,950 --> 00:35:16,410
instead of bringing me my fucking mail?
965
00:35:16,830 --> 00:35:18,370
I knew it was you that called Mr. Patino.
966
00:35:18,370 --> 00:35:20,080
I knew it was you that mwah, mwah, mwah.
967
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,710
If I don’t have the motor running, I have--
968
00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:24,420
If I don't have the motor running
969
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,670
I have to listen to you masturbate all night.
970
00:35:27,460 --> 00:35:27,880
What?
971
00:35:28,090 --> 00:35:28,630
What?
972
00:35:29,630 --> 00:35:31,510
Who masturbates all night?
973
00:35:31,510 --> 00:35:33,680
"Ee Jake, ah god, oh yes."
974
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:34,300
Larry!
975
00:35:34,890 --> 00:35:36,430
I was recording an audiobook.
976
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:36,890
What?
977
00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:38,770
I'm an audiobook narrator.
978
00:35:39,140 --> 00:35:39,980
What did you think?
979
00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:42,200
[orgasmic sound]
980
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,080
[censored music]
981
00:35:45,650 --> 00:35:47,520
Well, I thought you were like a
982
00:35:48,710 --> 00:35:50,570
[censored music]
983
00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:53,990
You know, like a webcam girl.
984
00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:56,990
A webcam girl?
985
00:35:56,990 --> 00:35:58,950
Do I look like a webcam girl?
986
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,000
Don't answer that.
987
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,830
I don't know what that would look like.
988
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:03,830
Oh, sure you don't.
989
00:36:05,630 --> 00:36:06,380
You were making a lot of
990
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:07,170
interesting sounds
991
00:36:07,170 --> 00:36:07,920
for an audiobook.
992
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,300
I record romance novels.
993
00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:10,420
And then your mom's note is
994
00:36:10,420 --> 00:36:11,590
talking about your lady parts.
995
00:36:11,590 --> 00:36:12,340
Jesus Christ.
996
00:36:12,340 --> 00:36:13,840
She's always trying to embarrass me.
997
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,140
Well, how was I to know?
998
00:36:15,470 --> 00:36:16,890
You are a ridiculous person
999
00:36:16,890 --> 00:36:18,430
and you sleep on an air mattress.
1000
00:36:18,430 --> 00:36:19,470
I have a sleep disorder
1001
00:36:19,470 --> 00:36:19,770
Great
1002
00:36:19,770 --> 00:36:20,600
now the whole
1003
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:21,810
apartment complex does too.
1004
00:36:21,810 --> 00:36:22,810
It’s not that loud.
1005
00:36:23,060 --> 00:36:24,440
You're a pain in the ass.
1006
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:25,850
Well.
1007
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,980
it's a good thing I brought
up that hemorrhoid pillow.
1008
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:30,970
[DUN DUN]
1009
00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:32,610
Jake grabbed her thick neck
1010
00:36:32,610 --> 00:36:34,150
and finally had his way with her.
1011
00:36:34,910 --> 00:36:37,070
She had resisted for so long
1012
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:39,370
but he could feel her courage and desire.
1013
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,290
So with a firm fist
1014
00:36:41,290 --> 00:36:48,110
[alarm]
1015
00:36:48,570 --> 00:36:51,910
[peeling sounds]
1016
00:36:54,370 --> 00:36:55,480
[door opening]
1017
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,910
[door closing]
1018
00:36:59,740 --> 00:37:01,340
[sliding door]
1019
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:02,650
[dog clicker]
1020
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,730
So with a firm fist
1021
00:37:04,730 --> 00:37:06,520
he thrust his reins back
1022
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,150
and the horse jumped over the first gate.
1023
00:37:09,150 --> 00:37:10,820
She flew higher than any thoroughbred
1024
00:37:10,820 --> 00:37:11,860
he had ever worked with.
1025
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,900
The town cheered.
1026
00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:16,360
Katia and Tilly exchanged a look.
1027
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,910
Their threesome would never be the same.
1028
00:37:19,620 --> 00:37:21,910
In the romance audiobook production system
1029
00:37:21,910 --> 00:37:23,580
there are two kinds of narrators.
1030
00:37:23,580 --> 00:37:25,460
Those that do character voices
1031
00:37:25,460 --> 00:37:26,330
and those that do not
1032
00:37:26,330 --> 00:37:27,750
do character voices.
1033
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,170
These are their stories.
1034
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,290
Hey Lady, you on your way?
1035
00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:32,670
Yep, I'm just taking
1036
00:37:32,670 --> 00:37:34,340
the last curler out.
1037
00:37:34,340 --> 00:37:34,720
Sweet.
1038
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,550
I got a table in the back by the fire.
1039
00:37:36,550 --> 00:37:37,800
Hold on, I've got a --
1040
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:40,430
Jasalyn?
1041
00:37:40,430 --> 00:37:40,970
Ah, shit.
1042
00:37:40,970 --> 00:37:41,680
Hello?
1043
00:37:42,430 --> 00:37:43,220
Hellooooo?
1044
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:44,180
Hey, Carly.
1045
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:45,350
Sorry about that. I --
1046
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:48,100
Hold on.
1047
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:53,420
[Facetime ringing]
1048
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:55,190
Richard.
1049
00:37:55,990 --> 00:37:56,860
Jasalyn?
1050
00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:57,860
Wow.
1051
00:37:58,410 --> 00:37:59,570
You actually look nice.
1052
00:37:59,870 --> 00:38:01,200
Thanks, I was just going out.
1053
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:02,160
What's up?
1054
00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:03,160
Good news!
1055
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,240
Layla just emailed.
1056
00:38:04,700 --> 00:38:05,500
She wants to book us
1057
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:06,500
for the rest of the series.
1058
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:07,160
Yay!
1059
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:07,960
Double Yay.
1060
00:38:08,210 --> 00:38:09,040
Two more books,
1061
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:09,830
Maybe three.
1062
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,040
She's not sure if it's a trilogy
1063
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:12,920
or a four-ogy.
1064
00:38:13,460 --> 00:38:14,210
Four-ogy?
1065
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:15,670
Quartet.
1066
00:38:16,380 --> 00:38:16,970
Whatever.
1067
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:18,090
Well, I gotta say
1068
00:38:18,090 --> 00:38:19,840
I really loved your narration.
1069
00:38:20,890 --> 00:38:21,800
I know.
1070
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,260
But...
1071
00:38:22,260 --> 00:38:23,970
you don't have to listen to my chapters.
1072
00:38:24,350 --> 00:38:25,390
I'm doing the proofing.
1073
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:26,930
I know, I was listening
1074
00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:27,600
just in case you were
1075
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,890
doing any character voices.
1076
00:38:29,690 --> 00:38:32,110
Yeah, I don't really do character voices.
1077
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,020
They all pretty much sound like this.
1078
00:38:34,570 --> 00:38:35,320
Sexy.
1079
00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:39,320
Women are gonna swoon.
1080
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:40,240
Oh man.
1081
00:38:40,660 --> 00:38:41,870
They'll do more than swoon
1082
00:38:41,870 --> 00:38:43,530
if you've read my reviews.
1083
00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:46,280
I'm so in love with this narrator
1084
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,940
Richard has a voice that was meant for sex
1085
00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:53,620
Be forewarned, you might lose
some panties over his voice.
1086
00:38:53,850 --> 00:38:55,500
Stock up now, ladies!
1087
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:56,760
I was signing autographs once
1088
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,090
at a romance convention
1089
00:38:58,090 --> 00:38:59,380
and you should've heard
1090
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:00,840
what these women were saying.
1091
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:02,970
None of them were my type.
1092
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:05,140
Not anyone's type really.
1093
00:39:05,140 --> 00:39:06,140
Like...
1094
00:39:06,140 --> 00:39:07,810
eating bonbons in the basement
1095
00:39:07,810 --> 00:39:09,180
swipe left all day type.
1096
00:39:09,730 --> 00:39:10,060
But...
1097
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:11,980
at least I can give them
1098
00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,220
This.
1099
00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:17,200
[silence]
1100
00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:20,110
So, you don't do voices?
1101
00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:22,280
When you have
1102
00:39:22,990 --> 00:39:23,740
"this"
1103
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,780
you don't need to do voices.
1104
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,620
Wait, do you do character voices?
1105
00:39:28,910 --> 00:39:31,410
Oh, yeah, but I like doing voices.
1106
00:39:31,830 --> 00:39:33,540
I have a Marilyn voice.
1107
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,250
"Happy birthday Mr. President."
1108
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,590
And I have an old lady voice,
1109
00:39:38,590 --> 00:39:41,050
"Well, hello there honey."
1110
00:39:41,050 --> 00:39:43,050
But if it's like a refined old lady
1111
00:39:43,050 --> 00:39:44,180
then I usually do
1112
00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:46,140
"Blanche from The Golden Girls."
1113
00:39:46,470 --> 00:39:47,890
Can you do a bunch of accents?
1114
00:39:47,890 --> 00:39:48,520
Yeah.
1115
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:49,850
"I'll meet you around"
1116
00:39:49,850 --> 00:39:51,730
"the Blarney Stone for a pint."
1117
00:39:51,730 --> 00:39:53,190
"I think you bloody will"
1118
00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:54,440
"cuz I got good banter!"
1119
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,940
"I'll gladly lift the iron curtain"
1120
00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,860
"if you drop the iron panties."
1121
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:04,610
I actually had to read that in a book once.
1122
00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:06,950
One accent I can do really well
1123
00:40:06,950 --> 00:40:08,330
is a fat accent.
1124
00:40:10,910 --> 00:40:11,450
What?
1125
00:40:12,830 --> 00:40:15,040
I do a really good fat accent.
1126
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,170
A what accent?
1127
00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:19,300
A fat
1128
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:20,300
accent.
1129
00:40:21,130 --> 00:40:22,380
That's not an accent.
1130
00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:23,510
Oh, it's a bunch.
1131
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,590
You've got your lippy fat accent.
1132
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:29,220
"Bring me a bowl of buttered noodles."
1133
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,850
You've got your jowly fat accent.
1134
00:40:32,390 --> 00:40:34,520
"I am not a crook."
1135
00:40:34,850 --> 00:40:37,690
You've got your droopy dog fat accent.
1136
00:40:37,980 --> 00:40:39,360
"You know what?"
1137
00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:41,860
"I'm happy."
1138
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:43,320
And if all else fails
1139
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,110
you got Chubs.
1140
00:40:44,450 --> 00:40:45,280
Chubs?
1141
00:40:45,570 --> 00:40:47,280
Yeah, from grade school.
1142
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,490
My name is Chubs.
1143
00:40:51,870 --> 00:40:53,870
My Mom calls me Chubs.
1144
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:56,580
My Dad calls me Chubs.
1145
00:40:57,460 --> 00:41:00,670
Even my dog calls me Chubs.
1146
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,090
Chubs can you smile?
1147
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:03,720
Sure, see?
1148
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,930
Wow, that was like my whole childhood.
1149
00:41:08,010 --> 00:41:08,970
Yeah.
1150
00:41:08,970 --> 00:41:10,970
I figured you were a fat kid.
1151
00:41:13,810 --> 00:41:15,230
It went in waves.
1152
00:41:15,980 --> 00:41:16,770
Anyway.
1153
00:41:16,770 --> 00:41:17,690
I'm gonna need you to get
1154
00:41:17,690 --> 00:41:18,730
the rest of those chapters
1155
00:41:18,730 --> 00:41:19,900
to me by tomorrow morning
1156
00:41:20,230 --> 00:41:21,110
Tomorrow?
1157
00:41:21,110 --> 00:41:23,230
Layla wants to meet the holiday deadline.
1158
00:41:23,650 --> 00:41:24,280
Oh.
1159
00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:25,580
Uh...
1160
00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:28,650
[silence]
1161
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:30,370
Yeah, I can do that.
1162
00:41:30,620 --> 00:41:31,080
Cool.
1163
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,290
And can we set up the contract
1164
00:41:32,290 --> 00:41:32,950
the same way?
1165
00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:33,910
Where I do the proofing?
1166
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:34,750
Sure.
1167
00:41:34,870 --> 00:41:36,210
I get a little extra money.
1168
00:41:36,210 --> 00:41:37,540
You do a little extra work.
1169
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,710
Well, it's a lot of work, actually.
1170
00:41:41,170 --> 00:41:41,920
Proofing.
1171
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,510
Oh, yeah. No, I know.
1172
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:44,970
Okay, cool.
1173
00:41:44,970 --> 00:41:46,090
Well shoot me those chapters
1174
00:41:46,090 --> 00:41:46,800
when they're done
1175
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,050
and I'll send you
1176
00:41:48,050 --> 00:41:49,590
the script for the next book.
1177
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:50,720
Oh, and let me know
1178
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,470
if you need any help with fat accents
1179
00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:53,850
because you always wanna be
1180
00:41:53,850 --> 00:41:54,770
body positive.
1181
00:41:55,310 --> 00:41:56,600
Especially for the women
1182
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,270
that are listening to these books.
1183
00:41:58,270 --> 00:42:02,820
[laughter]
1184
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,820
[chortle]
1185
00:42:07,530 --> 00:42:08,320
Tomorrow?
1186
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,200
Oh shit.
1187
00:42:09,450 --> 00:42:10,240
Uh...
1188
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:10,990
Carly?
1189
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:11,990
FaceTime.
1190
00:42:11,990 --> 00:42:12,740
What?
1191
00:42:12,740 --> 00:42:15,880
[Facetime ringing]
1192
00:42:17,580 --> 00:42:18,040
Hi.
1193
00:42:18,290 --> 00:42:19,080
Hi.
1194
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,040
What the fuck was that?
1195
00:42:20,250 --> 00:42:20,830
I know!
1196
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,420
Things got kind of flirty, right?
1197
00:42:23,290 --> 00:42:24,000
Um...
1198
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,260
I was definitely picking up on a vibe.
1199
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:28,260
Do you think I should ask him out?
1200
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:29,550
No.
1201
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,340
He's never seen me dolled up like this.
1202
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:32,550
Well good thing,
1203
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,680
because that guy's a shallow prick.
1204
00:42:35,180 --> 00:42:36,350
He was just joking.
1205
00:42:36,350 --> 00:42:37,640
Yeah, real funny.
1206
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:39,020
He just got caught up in me
1207
00:42:39,020 --> 00:42:41,020
doing the accents and voices.
1208
00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:43,060
You don't get it because
1209
00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:44,570
you don't really do voices.
1210
00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:46,150
I do voices.
1211
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,490
You narrate nonfiction.
1212
00:42:48,110 --> 00:42:48,860
Fuck you.
1213
00:42:49,780 --> 00:42:51,240
I don't think Richard's a bad guy.
1214
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,780
I like him, and...
1215
00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:54,450
you know we do sound good together.
1216
00:42:54,450 --> 00:42:56,450
You deserve so much better.
1217
00:42:57,500 --> 00:42:58,660
He's the kind of guy
1218
00:42:58,660 --> 00:42:59,790
who ranks women.
1219
00:43:00,790 --> 00:43:02,130
Yeah I know...
1220
00:43:02,420 --> 00:43:05,170
[de Bussy's Clair de lune]
1221
00:43:05,590 --> 00:43:07,510
I don't know. I just want someone.
1222
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,050
Like, where's the guy that'll look at me
1223
00:43:10,050 --> 00:43:12,050
flaws and all
1224
00:43:12,050 --> 00:43:13,720
and I could be completely naked
1225
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:15,100
and vulnerable
1226
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,850
and he tells me I'm beautiful
1227
00:43:17,850 --> 00:43:19,730
and makes me really believe it.
1228
00:43:20,770 --> 00:43:23,400
Well, Richard is not that guy.
1229
00:43:24,110 --> 00:43:24,730
But
1230
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:25,440
we might be able to
1231
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,820
find you someone tonight.
1232
00:43:26,820 --> 00:43:28,150
Carly, I can't come out.
1233
00:43:28,150 --> 00:43:28,780
What?
1234
00:43:28,780 --> 00:43:29,740
Didn't you hear him?
1235
00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:31,200
I have to finish this book tonight.
1236
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:32,200
Fine, finish the book
1237
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,620
after you come out with me.
1238
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:34,700
Sorry.
1239
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:35,950
Rain check?
1240
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:37,540
You're the worst.
1241
00:43:37,540 --> 00:43:38,950
And you're bending over backwards
1242
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:40,330
for this douche bag.
1243
00:43:40,330 --> 00:43:41,960
Or should I say...
1244
00:43:43,170 --> 00:43:44,580
douchebag.
1245
00:43:45,460 --> 00:43:46,920
Hey, you can do voices.
1246
00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:49,800
[call ends]
1247
00:43:52,020 --> 00:44:04,140
[de Bussy's Clair de Lune]
1248
00:44:04,140 --> 00:44:06,140
[knives sharpening]
1249
00:44:06,140 --> 00:44:36,650
[hopeful music[
1250
00:44:38,510 --> 00:44:42,140
[silence]
1251
00:44:43,340 --> 00:44:53,860
[de Bussy's Clair de Lune]
1252
00:44:53,860 --> 00:44:55,860
In the empanada production system
1253
00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:57,700
there are two types of ovens.
1254
00:44:57,700 --> 00:44:58,700
Those that work
1255
00:44:58,700 --> 00:45:00,030
and those that are broken.
1256
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:12,600
[percussive music]
1257
00:45:15,050 --> 00:45:16,010
Hi.
1258
00:45:16,010 --> 00:45:17,640
This is gonna sound really weird
1259
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:18,390
Weird like
1260
00:45:18,390 --> 00:45:20,140
thinking I'm a webcam girl weird?
1261
00:45:20,140 --> 00:45:21,310
Or weird like
1262
00:45:21,310 --> 00:45:22,430
sleeping on an air mattress
1263
00:45:22,430 --> 00:45:23,350
with the motor running weird?
1264
00:45:23,350 --> 00:45:24,230
I need to use your oven.
1265
00:45:24,230 --> 00:45:24,730
No.
1266
00:45:25,060 --> 00:45:25,940
Please it's my grandma's
1267
00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:26,310
No.
1268
00:45:26,310 --> 00:45:27,400
You can't be in my kitchen.
1269
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:28,520
Call Mr. Patino.
1270
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:29,230
I did call him,
1271
00:45:29,230 --> 00:45:30,050
I did
1272
00:45:31,770 --> 00:45:32,770
[door bell]
1273
00:45:34,860 --> 00:45:36,200
Larry, I have a deadline.
1274
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:36,950
I can't.
1275
00:45:36,950 --> 00:45:37,910
Please I just need the oven
1276
00:45:37,910 --> 00:45:39,280
I have to finish book
1277
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:39,780
tonight
1278
00:45:39,780 --> 00:45:40,780
This'll take like 20 minutes.
1279
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:41,450
Tops.
1280
00:45:42,220 --> 00:45:44,770
[silence]
1281
00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:47,040
Is there any dairy in those?
1282
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,420
No, just eggs.
1283
00:45:49,460 --> 00:45:50,040
Fine.
1284
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:51,420
If you share some we have a deal.
1285
00:45:51,670 --> 00:45:52,420
How many?
1286
00:45:53,050 --> 00:45:54,420
I don't know, three?
1287
00:45:57,220 --> 00:45:57,680
Two.
1288
00:45:58,430 --> 00:45:59,430
Fine, two.
1289
00:45:59,430 --> 00:46:00,720
But you have to be quiet.
1290
00:46:01,010 --> 00:46:02,720
I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
1291
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,520
In the audiobook production system
1292
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,060
there are those that punch and roll
1293
00:46:07,060 --> 00:46:08,230
and those that use a dog clicker
1294
00:46:08,230 --> 00:46:09,940
to show their recording mistakes.
1295
00:46:11,230 --> 00:46:13,190
Jasalyn is editing all her dog clicks.
1296
00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:15,490
She does not trust Barry...
1297
00:46:17,030 --> 00:46:18,200
She does not trust
1298
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,820
'Larry' to be quiet.
1299
00:46:20,370 --> 00:46:21,370
If only a dog clicker
1300
00:46:21,370 --> 00:46:22,830
could be used in everyday life
1301
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:25,870
or at least
1302
00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:26,910
on Larry.
1303
00:46:27,460 --> 00:46:28,960
Larry. What are you doing?
1304
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:29,670
Are you kidding me
1305
00:46:29,670 --> 00:46:31,250
with how messy this kitchen is?
1306
00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:33,130
I was gonna clean this weekend.
1307
00:46:33,130 --> 00:46:34,670
How do you even eat in here?
1308
00:46:35,130 --> 00:46:37,420
Look buddy, you could wait for Mr. Patino.
1309
00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:38,590
No, I can't wait.
1310
00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:41,090
Then you're gonna have to
deal with my messy kitchen.
1311
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,510
No, I'm gonna clean this up.
1312
00:46:43,510 --> 00:46:44,430
No, you're not.
1313
00:46:44,430 --> 00:46:45,970
You're gonna put these pies in the oven
1314
00:46:45,970 --> 00:46:46,930
and get out of here.
1315
00:46:46,930 --> 00:46:48,520
This will take like 15 minutes.
1316
00:46:49,270 --> 00:46:49,890
You'd know that
1317
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:51,150
if you cleaned from time to time.
1318
00:46:52,730 --> 00:46:54,230
Please, stop cleaning.
1319
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,240
Just go do your recording.
1320
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,450
I can't with you making noises.
1321
00:46:59,820 --> 00:47:01,160
That's not where that goes.
1322
00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:02,450
Under the sink.
1323
00:47:03,030 --> 00:47:03,660
Just...
1324
00:47:05,830 --> 00:47:06,910
Please move.
1325
00:47:09,790 --> 00:47:11,370
Oh, so you do know how to clean?
1326
00:47:11,710 --> 00:47:13,140
[bangs cutting board]
1327
00:47:15,090 --> 00:47:15,880
And why didn't you knock
1328
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,420
on anybody else's door?
1329
00:47:17,420 --> 00:47:18,760
Well, I didn't want to deprive you
1330
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:19,670
of seeing how good I am
1331
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:20,470
with a scrubby.
1332
00:47:20,970 --> 00:47:24,310
[cleaning sounds]
1333
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:26,720
How'd you learn how to make these?
1334
00:47:27,350 --> 00:47:27,970
My mom.
1335
00:47:28,350 --> 00:47:29,600
Old family recipe
1336
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:31,190
They are beautiful.
1337
00:47:32,190 --> 00:47:33,560
Wait until you taste them.
1338
00:47:35,510 --> 00:47:36,820
[dish clink]
1339
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,360
So you really thought I was a webcam girl?
1340
00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:40,400
Well, no.
1341
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,780
first I thought you were a prostitute.
1342
00:47:44,450 --> 00:47:46,660
Well, when I heard the...
1343
00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:49,290
what I now know was a
1344
00:47:49,290 --> 00:47:51,660
dramatic reading of erotic fiction
1345
00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:53,460
but at the time I...
1346
00:47:55,250 --> 00:47:55,840
you know.
1347
00:47:56,130 --> 00:47:57,670
Girl's gotta make a living.
1348
00:47:59,590 --> 00:48:01,050
So they sounded real?
1349
00:48:01,550 --> 00:48:02,550
The orgasms?
1350
00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:04,590
Oh, um...
1351
00:48:05,820 --> 00:48:09,810
A, E, I, O, U -
1352
00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:10,220
Yeah.
1353
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:11,710
Yeah.
1354
00:48:14,230 --> 00:48:15,270
Why so dressed up?
1355
00:48:15,610 --> 00:48:16,770
I thought you got to
1356
00:48:16,770 --> 00:48:17,940
work in your pajamas.
1357
00:48:19,820 --> 00:48:21,070
I was supposed to go out
1358
00:48:21,070 --> 00:48:22,280
to celebrate my birthday
1359
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,070
but my book deadline got moved up.
1360
00:48:24,070 --> 00:48:24,700
So...
1361
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,070
Here we are.
1362
00:48:26,370 --> 00:48:27,580
Oh, well you...
1363
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:31,000
You look nice.
1364
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,080
Happy birthday, by the way.
1365
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:35,830
Sorry about the deadline.
1366
00:48:37,290 --> 00:48:38,090
It's fine.
1367
00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:40,460
Well, thanks again.
1368
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:41,840
You're a life saver.
1369
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,510
My grandma's turning 90 and I
1370
00:48:44,510 --> 00:48:45,800
promised her I'd make these.
1371
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:47,430
They're her favorite.
1372
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,930
Well, we don't want another
1373
00:48:48,930 --> 00:48:50,640
birthday girl disappointed.
1374
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,020
Let's get those empanadas in the oven and
1375
00:48:53,980 --> 00:48:55,350
I'll get back to recording.
1376
00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:56,690
Okay, I'll show myself out.
1377
00:48:57,060 --> 00:48:57,900
Make sure you're quiet
1378
00:48:57,900 --> 00:48:59,020
when you're coming and going.
1379
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:00,150
Will do.
1380
00:49:01,530 --> 00:49:02,940
And don't use the alarm.
1381
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,240
It's super loud.
1382
00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:05,530
Got it.
1383
00:49:07,820 --> 00:49:09,140
[oven clattering]
1384
00:49:11,850 --> 00:49:14,110
[muffled dog clicker]
1385
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:16,750
Jake pulled me close to him
1386
00:49:16,750 --> 00:49:19,130
and there was a moment I
thought he might get angry.
1387
00:49:19,460 --> 00:49:20,500
But then
1388
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:21,420
he smiled.
1389
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:25,590
I could feel butterflies in my stomach at
the thought of winning Jake's heart.
1390
00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:30,010
I stared at myself in the mirror making
sure that this was not a dream.
1391
00:49:31,140 --> 00:49:33,310
The image looking back at me was striking.
1392
00:49:34,020 --> 00:49:35,310
I looked like a princess
1393
00:49:35,810 --> 00:49:38,100
and I enjoyed the feeling of being desired.
1394
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:39,940
My mind went to Jake.
1395
00:49:41,150 --> 00:49:43,530
His face at seeing me enter this evening.
1396
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:45,650
With a wolfish gaze
1397
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,320
and a sheepish smile he said,
1398
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:51,330
"Darling, how do you clean up."
1399
00:49:51,330 --> 00:49:54,540
"I have to admit that dress is much better in blue."
1400
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,710
"Imagery is what fuels the imagination.
1401
00:49:58,330 --> 00:50:00,170
and imagination, my dear,
1402
00:50:00,170 --> 00:50:01,840
is best expressed
1403
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:02,840
in the bedroom."
1404
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:06,300
"I would have loved to wear
a low-cut dress tonight...
1405
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:10,970
...but unfortunately the bite marks
and bruises could not be shown."
1406
00:50:10,970 --> 00:50:11,600
"Bite marks?"
1407
00:50:11,930 --> 00:50:13,060
"Oh, you don't know?
1408
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,430
Jake may be all decorum in court
1409
00:50:16,100 --> 00:50:18,310
but in the bedroom he follows no rules."
1410
00:50:18,940 --> 00:50:22,850
[burning]
1411
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:25,030
Katia felt the corset loosening.
1412
00:50:25,690 --> 00:50:26,530
She gasped.
1413
00:50:26,530 --> 00:50:30,360
[fire alarm]
1414
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:30,990
Larry!
1415
00:50:30,990 --> 00:50:35,330
[fire alarm]
1416
00:50:35,330 --> 00:50:36,370
No, no no!
1417
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,750
Oh, my grandma's going to kill me!
1418
00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:46,050
[building fire alarm]
1419
00:50:46,050 --> 00:50:47,170
Hey, you um...
1420
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,670
You want an empanada?
1421
00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:50,640
You can have more than two.
1422
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,050
You can have as many as you want.
1423
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,140
They're a little crispy, but um...
1424
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:55,430
they're still good.
1425
00:50:55,820 --> 00:50:58,850
[building alarm]
1426
00:50:59,270 --> 00:51:00,060
All right.
1427
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:12,510
[building alarm]
1428
00:51:13,110 --> 00:51:16,480
[coughs]
1429
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:17,870
This is...
1430
00:51:18,370 --> 00:51:19,080
...spicy!
1431
00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:20,920
Yeah.
1432
00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:23,960
Yeah, Grandma likes 'em spicy.
1433
00:51:24,340 --> 00:51:25,670
Spice is really good for your throat.
1434
00:51:25,670 --> 00:51:26,710
That'll be helpful for narrating.
1435
00:51:26,710 --> 00:51:27,590
Real helpful.
1436
00:51:28,010 --> 00:51:30,300
You know what's not good for narrating?
1437
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:31,220
What?
1438
00:51:31,430 --> 00:51:32,720
A fire alarm.
1439
00:51:34,010 --> 00:51:34,470
Oh.
1440
00:51:35,470 --> 00:51:36,760
Yeah, sorry about that.
1441
00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,190
This has been "Hung like a Horse."
1442
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,020
The Jake Morgan series.
1443
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,730
written by Layla James
1444
00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:46,900
and narrated by Richard Benson
1445
00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:48,280
and Jasalyn Frank.
1446
00:51:48,780 --> 00:51:51,950
Hey Richard, here is the last file.
1447
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,030
This book was a lot of fun.
1448
00:51:54,490 --> 00:51:55,740
Thank you so much for doing
1449
00:51:55,740 --> 00:51:57,290
the final proofing.
1450
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,120
Looking forward to starting the next one
1451
00:52:00,410 --> 00:52:00,960
Thanks,
1452
00:52:01,710 --> 00:52:02,420
Jasalyn.
1453
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:12,850
[suspenseful music]
1454
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:18,000
[puttering]
1455
00:52:18,910 --> 00:52:20,000
[cupboard door]
1456
00:52:20,450 --> 00:52:24,000
[pouring wine]
1457
00:52:24,340 --> 00:52:26,910
[puttering]
1458
00:52:27,310 --> 00:52:28,510
[tablet unlock]
1459
00:52:29,020 --> 00:52:33,940
[scrolling]
1460
00:52:35,370 --> 00:52:56,340
[romance movie music]
1461
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:59,250
I love working with you.
1462
00:53:00,110 --> 00:53:05,250
[romantic music]
1463
00:53:06,570 --> 00:53:08,220
[keyboard]
1464
00:53:08,980 --> 00:53:09,980
Warmly,
1465
00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:11,140
Jasalyn
1466
00:53:12,110 --> 00:53:14,050
[keyboard]
1467
00:53:14,490 --> 00:53:15,280
Thanks.
1468
00:53:16,340 --> 00:53:18,680
[romantic music]
1469
00:53:19,770 --> 00:53:21,080
[keyboard]
1470
00:53:21,410 --> 00:53:23,790
It's great working with you.
1471
00:53:24,740 --> 00:53:26,340
[keyboard]a
1472
00:53:28,050 --> 00:53:30,220
[keyboard]
1473
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:32,920
Hey handsome.
1474
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,510
Hopefully the author thinks we kept it sexy.
1475
00:53:37,970 --> 00:53:39,720
Yours, Jasalyn.
1476
00:53:39,720 --> 00:53:43,820
[romantic music]
1477
00:53:43,820 --> 00:53:46,000
[keyboard]
1478
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,230
Hey, Richard.
1479
00:53:50,050 --> 00:53:56,110
[keyboard and mouse sounds]
1480
00:53:56,110 --> 00:53:56,950
Thanks.
1481
00:53:59,340 --> 00:54:07,820
[suspenseful music]
1482
00:54:09,820 --> 00:54:12,570
[puttering]
1483
00:54:13,310 --> 00:54:17,650
[pouring wine]
1484
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,470
Tossing and turning
1485
00:54:21,350 --> 00:54:24,060
I had felt haunted by regret.
1486
00:54:24,060 --> 00:54:26,140
and dreamt of a life with a woman
1487
00:54:26,140 --> 00:54:27,730
that was not meant for me.
1488
00:54:30,060 --> 00:54:31,480
Then suddenly
1489
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,110
I was back in that row of horses.
1490
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:36,650
There she was
1491
00:54:36,650 --> 00:54:39,820
holding her torn dress at the stall
1492
00:54:39,820 --> 00:54:42,320
staring at me with those doe eyes.
1493
00:54:43,490 --> 00:54:45,290
I walked over to her
1494
00:54:45,290 --> 00:54:46,910
lifting her chin
1495
00:54:46,910 --> 00:54:50,290
and began wiping her tears one by one.
1496
00:54:52,590 --> 00:54:53,590
I kissed her
1497
00:54:55,130 --> 00:54:56,760
and then looked at her.
1498
00:54:58,340 --> 00:55:06,510
[soft music]
1499
00:55:07,940 --> 00:55:10,480
[ethereal music]
1500
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:11,310
Hi Richard,
1501
00:55:11,810 --> 00:55:13,020
I know this is weird
1502
00:55:13,020 --> 00:55:15,440
leaving a personal message on the recording.
1503
00:55:16,110 --> 00:55:18,400
I figured you would catch it in the proofing.
1504
00:55:19,780 --> 00:55:22,110
I just wanted to say that,
1505
00:55:23,030 --> 00:55:24,580
you're an amazing narrator
1506
00:55:24,580 --> 00:55:26,660
and I'm so glad we got to work together.
1507
00:55:26,660 --> 00:56:12,960
[dreamy music]
1508
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:14,040
Hi Richard!
1509
00:56:14,380 --> 00:56:15,580
Did you get the file?
1510
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,710
Yeah, uh...
1511
00:56:18,380 --> 00:56:20,460
I just got an email from Layla
1512
00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:21,590
saying that you left some
1513
00:56:21,590 --> 00:56:23,880
weird message at the end of the last chapter.
1514
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:26,640
What?
1515
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:27,760
Did you like,
1516
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:29,560
record something extra?
1517
00:56:30,060 --> 00:56:30,890
Uh...
1518
00:56:31,430 --> 00:56:32,310
extra?
1519
00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:34,810
Well... didn't you listen to the file?
1520
00:56:35,060 --> 00:56:36,940
Well, I looked at the file but--
1521
00:56:37,190 --> 00:56:38,690
you know, you got it to me so late
1522
00:56:38,690 --> 00:56:40,320
I figured I could take a gamble
1523
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:41,690
on the last chapter.
1524
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:42,700
So you didn't proof it?
1525
00:56:42,700 --> 00:56:43,900
You just sent it to her?
1526
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:45,700
You got it to me at 1 am.
1527
00:56:45,990 --> 00:56:47,160
So you had all morning.
1528
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,290
Well, I looked at the wave files.
1529
00:56:49,290 --> 00:56:50,450
They looked fine.
1530
00:56:50,950 --> 00:56:51,660
Um.
1531
00:56:52,620 --> 00:56:53,330
Well.
1532
00:56:53,750 --> 00:56:54,750
What did you do?
1533
00:56:54,750 --> 00:56:57,080
Like, change the ending of her book?
1534
00:56:58,090 --> 00:56:59,420
Last night I was...
1535
00:56:59,420 --> 00:57:00,300
...really...
1536
00:57:01,380 --> 00:57:02,380
...tired.
1537
00:57:02,380 --> 00:57:03,130
And...
1538
00:57:03,630 --> 00:57:06,470
I know I recorded the whole chapter.
1539
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:07,260
But...
1540
00:57:07,970 --> 00:57:09,390
I may have...
1541
00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:10,810
uh...
1542
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,890
What did you do?
1543
00:57:12,890 --> 00:57:17,900
[ethereal music]
1544
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,360
Well, when I recording
1545
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,820
I'm expecting that you'll listen to it
1546
00:57:21,820 --> 00:57:23,780
so the author gets a finished product.
1547
00:57:23,780 --> 00:57:26,030
Yeah, but the last chapter?
1548
00:57:26,490 --> 00:57:28,320
I mean, who cares with this kind of writing?
1549
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:29,410
It's such smut.
1550
00:57:29,910 --> 00:57:31,580
And you're usually a professional.
1551
00:57:31,740 --> 00:57:32,540
Well I thought
1552
00:57:32,540 --> 00:57:33,790
you were a professional too.
1553
00:57:33,790 --> 00:57:35,080
You didn't do your job.
1554
00:57:36,170 --> 00:57:38,290
You gotta fix the chapter
1555
00:57:38,290 --> 00:57:40,790
and send it to her with an apology.
1556
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,500
So now I'm doing your work?
1557
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,010
You want me to edit the last chapter
1558
00:57:45,010 --> 00:57:46,380
which you're getting paid to do.
1559
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:48,510
Fine.
1560
00:57:49,470 --> 00:57:50,390
I'll fix it.
1561
00:57:50,890 --> 00:57:51,350
Uh...
1562
00:57:51,470 --> 00:57:53,020
No, no-no, wait, no.
1563
00:57:53,430 --> 00:57:54,850
Don't listen to it.
1564
00:57:54,850 --> 00:57:56,480
Yeah, don't worry about it.
1565
00:57:57,770 --> 00:57:59,440
Thanks so much for calling.
1566
00:58:00,230 --> 00:58:01,110
Don't listen to it.
1567
00:58:01,110 --> 00:58:01,940
Definitely don't listen.
1568
00:58:01,940 --> 00:58:02,780
I'll fix it.
1569
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:04,990
But for the record
1570
00:58:04,990 --> 00:58:06,450
aren't you getting paid extra
1571
00:58:06,450 --> 00:58:07,530
for doing the proofing?
1572
00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:08,240
So what
1573
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:09,450
you want me to pay you?
1574
00:58:09,780 --> 00:58:11,580
Well if I'm doing your work.
1575
00:58:12,530 --> 00:58:13,160
You know what?
1576
00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:14,540
Never mind.
1577
00:58:14,870 --> 00:58:15,290
Wait!
1578
00:58:15,290 --> 00:58:15,870
Thanks for nothing.
1579
00:58:18,450 --> 00:58:21,020
[gasps]
1580
00:58:22,740 --> 00:58:24,960
[touching tablet]
1581
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,840
Your voice is so...
1582
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:31,050
I mean what can I say but sexy?
1583
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:32,640
And sometimes?
1584
00:58:33,260 --> 00:58:34,680
I like to imagine us
1585
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,350
reading together in the same booth.
1586
00:58:37,140 --> 00:58:39,520
Did I just say that out loud?
1587
00:58:40,690 --> 00:58:42,770
Anyway, wish we could record together.
1588
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,150
Especially some of those hot sex scenes.
1589
00:58:47,110 --> 00:58:48,200
I gotta be honest.
1590
00:58:48,820 --> 00:58:49,990
I've been wanting to ask you out
1591
00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,990
ever since we started this series.
1592
00:58:52,700 --> 00:58:53,240
So...
1593
00:58:53,990 --> 00:58:55,040
here I am
1594
00:58:55,410 --> 00:58:56,540
taking a
1595
00:58:56,540 --> 00:58:58,540
big courageous step in
1596
00:58:58,540 --> 00:58:59,830
making that happen.
1597
00:59:00,210 --> 00:59:01,920
I hope you like women who are fierce
1598
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,090
and up front.
1599
00:59:03,710 --> 00:59:05,250
Call me if you'd like to meet in person
1600
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:06,550
and we could grab a drink
1601
00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:08,050
talk shop.
1602
00:59:08,380 --> 00:59:09,760
First round is on me.
1603
00:59:12,340 --> 00:59:34,850
[battle drums]
1604
00:59:36,510 --> 00:59:38,000
[chime]
1605
00:59:39,420 --> 00:59:41,140
[whooshes]
1606
00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:45,880
Richard! You handsome devil.
1607
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:50,590
Layla, you look wonderful!
1608
00:59:50,590 --> 00:59:52,010
Gosh.
1609
00:59:52,010 --> 00:59:53,390
How long has it been
1610
00:59:53,390 --> 00:59:54,970
since we've seen each other?
1611
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:57,850
I think it was the romance convention.
1612
00:59:58,270 --> 00:59:59,180
It's all been emails.
1613
00:59:59,180 --> 01:00:01,940
Oh my, how the readers --
1614
01:00:01,940 --> 01:00:04,560
Richard doesn't proof the chapters.
1615
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:07,520
Yes...
1616
01:00:08,530 --> 01:00:09,740
I got your email.
1617
01:00:09,860 --> 01:00:11,610
You emailed her about me?
1618
01:00:11,950 --> 01:00:13,360
Of course I emailed her.
1619
01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:14,870
You see, Layla?
1620
01:00:14,870 --> 01:00:17,410
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
1621
01:00:17,410 --> 01:00:19,240
She's totally unprofessional.
1622
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,790
Yes, I got your email, too.
1623
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,960
You emailed her about me?
1624
01:00:25,750 --> 01:00:26,840
So here we are.
1625
01:00:27,250 --> 01:00:29,050
Two men enter, one man leaves?
1626
01:00:29,050 --> 01:00:30,420
Is that how you want it?
1627
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,510
Look, I am really sorry about the...
1628
01:00:34,130 --> 01:00:35,720
...the last chapter's message.
1629
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,550
Apologies are nice
1630
01:00:37,550 --> 01:00:38,560
but unfortunately
1631
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:40,270
they can't turn back the clock
1632
01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:41,810
and this whole little mix up
1633
01:00:41,810 --> 01:00:44,140
has caused quite a delay.
1634
01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:44,770
Well...
1635
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:46,480
I don't feel comfortable
1636
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:47,520
working with her.
1637
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:48,690
Well, I don't trust you.
1638
01:00:48,690 --> 01:00:49,820
You don't do the proofing.
1639
01:00:49,820 --> 01:00:51,110
How did you want me to
1640
01:00:51,110 --> 01:00:52,740
to proof your ad-libs?
1641
01:00:52,740 --> 01:00:53,860
It wasn't an ad-lib
1642
01:00:53,860 --> 01:00:55,660
and I definitely regret it now.
1643
01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:57,830
Oh, really? You don't wanna...
1644
01:00:57,830 --> 01:00:58,990
record in the same
1645
01:00:58,990 --> 01:01:00,540
booth with me anymore?
1646
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,790
I was drunk when I said that.
1647
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,500
Wow a real professional.
1648
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,170
I must've been drunk
1649
01:01:08,170 --> 01:01:09,460
when I offered you this book.
1650
01:01:09,590 --> 01:01:11,260
Well, you were definitely sober
1651
01:01:11,260 --> 01:01:11,760
when you said it
1652
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:12,920
doesn't matter if you proof
1653
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:13,760
when the writing is such
1654
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,720
When the writing is such brilliance!
1655
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:17,260
Yes!
1656
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:19,180
You should be thanking me
1657
01:01:19,180 --> 01:01:20,220
for introducing you to
1658
01:01:20,220 --> 01:01:22,140
a writer of this caliber.
1659
01:01:22,140 --> 01:01:23,140
Yes.
1660
01:01:23,140 --> 01:01:24,140
Thank you so much
1661
01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:25,190
for getting me this book.
1662
01:01:25,190 --> 01:01:27,020
I am so grateful.
1663
01:01:27,020 --> 01:01:28,440
Just like how you described
1664
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,360
all the women at the convention.
1665
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,360
So grateful for an autograph.
1666
01:01:33,110 --> 01:01:34,650
Why don't I tell Layla
1667
01:01:34,650 --> 01:01:36,490
all the wonderful things you said
1668
01:01:36,490 --> 01:01:37,870
about our listeners?
1669
01:01:37,870 --> 01:01:39,700
What wonderful things?
1670
01:01:39,950 --> 01:01:40,530
Oh,
1671
01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:41,620
like how they're all
1672
01:01:41,620 --> 01:01:42,700
nasty bonbon eating
1673
01:01:42,700 --> 01:01:43,500
basement dwellers
1674
01:01:43,500 --> 01:01:44,500
who can't get dates.
1675
01:01:46,170 --> 01:01:47,000
I don't even know
1676
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,500
what you're talking about.
1677
01:01:48,500 --> 01:01:50,130
He was making fun of the listeners.
1678
01:01:50,130 --> 01:01:51,800
I would never!
1679
01:01:52,090 --> 01:01:53,800
You are being so gross.
1680
01:01:54,340 --> 01:01:55,590
My friend heard you--
1681
01:01:55,590 --> 01:01:57,300
Oh, your friend?
1682
01:01:57,300 --> 01:01:58,220
In your closet?
1683
01:01:58,220 --> 01:02:00,180
Where you work by yourself all day?
1684
01:02:00,970 --> 01:02:02,220
Now I know you're crazy.
1685
01:02:02,220 --> 01:02:04,640
I am not crazy, you --
1686
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:05,850
you gas lighter!
1687
01:02:05,850 --> 01:02:07,440
I will call her right now!
1688
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:08,100
Okay!
1689
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,020
We have gotten off track
1690
01:02:10,020 --> 01:02:12,360
and we don't have time for this.
1691
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:12,980
I know.
1692
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:14,860
All because of her delays.
1693
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:16,360
Well the fact that we're even
1694
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,530
having this zoom call
1695
01:02:17,530 --> 01:02:18,700
speaks to the fact that
1696
01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:20,410
you're both unprofessional.
1697
01:02:20,870 --> 01:02:23,080
I want this series completed
1698
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:23,950
by the holidays.
1699
01:02:23,950 --> 01:02:25,580
I would love
1700
01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:26,250
to finish
1701
01:02:26,250 --> 01:02:27,750
and keep working with you.
1702
01:02:27,750 --> 01:02:28,920
I am ready to
1703
01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:30,920
replace her and move on.
1704
01:02:31,130 --> 01:02:32,960
Okay, the listeners want
1705
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:34,960
consistent narrators, so
1706
01:02:35,510 --> 01:02:37,510
how can we make this work
1707
01:02:37,510 --> 01:02:38,760
between the two of you?
1708
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:39,340
Well.
1709
01:02:39,930 --> 01:02:41,600
I think we should split the proofing.
1710
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:42,470
and
1711
01:02:42,470 --> 01:02:43,640
I get paid for half
1712
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:44,970
in addition to my narrating.
1713
01:02:45,390 --> 01:02:47,890
I am an "offer only" narrator
1714
01:02:47,890 --> 01:02:50,060
and you can't change my offer
1715
01:02:50,060 --> 01:02:50,980
mid-book.
1716
01:02:51,150 --> 01:02:52,860
If you have other offers
1717
01:02:52,860 --> 01:02:53,980
I understand.
1718
01:02:54,820 --> 01:02:56,360
I would like to move forward
1719
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:57,650
with the next book
1720
01:02:57,650 --> 01:02:59,740
and I do want to keep
1721
01:02:59,740 --> 01:03:01,410
the narrators consistent.
1722
01:03:04,330 --> 01:03:05,040
It's fine.
1723
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:06,450
We're almost done with this book.
1724
01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:08,460
We can keep the contract the same.
1725
01:03:08,460 --> 01:03:10,540
I'll proof my chapters.
1726
01:03:10,540 --> 01:03:11,830
But the next book
1727
01:03:11,830 --> 01:03:13,290
we are paid equally.
1728
01:03:13,630 --> 01:03:15,000
That seems more than fair.
1729
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:16,760
Richard?
1730
01:03:17,820 --> 01:03:20,110
[silence]
1731
01:03:21,010 --> 01:03:21,760
So it's settled.
1732
01:03:22,390 --> 01:03:22,930
Perfect!
1733
01:03:23,470 --> 01:03:24,810
I have a few recording
1734
01:03:24,810 --> 01:03:25,560
pickup notes
1735
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,020
that I am sending right now.
1736
01:03:27,770 --> 01:03:29,100
Please try and finish them
1737
01:03:29,100 --> 01:03:30,810
ASAP as possible.
1738
01:03:30,890 --> 01:03:32,440
Are we still on for
1739
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:33,730
next year's convention?
1740
01:03:35,110 --> 01:03:37,610
I'll have to think about that.
1741
01:03:37,610 --> 01:03:39,150
I wouldn't want to force you
1742
01:03:39,150 --> 01:03:41,070
to be around any bonbon eaters.
1743
01:03:41,070 --> 01:03:42,450
Oh, it's no big deal at all.
1744
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:45,370
Bye Richard.
1745
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,830
Listen, he is not worth another thought.
1746
01:03:49,830 --> 01:03:51,040
Trust me.
1747
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:52,620
You open your heart like that
1748
01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:54,250
and this is how he treats you?
1749
01:03:55,710 --> 01:03:57,670
Yeah, it's...
1750
01:03:57,670 --> 01:03:58,920
pretty embarrassing
1751
01:03:59,670 --> 01:04:00,840
I think I'm brainwashed
1752
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:02,300
from all these romance novels.
1753
01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:03,260
Hey.
1754
01:04:03,260 --> 01:04:04,390
I was tickled
1755
01:04:04,390 --> 01:04:05,300
that I got to hear your
1756
01:04:05,300 --> 01:04:06,560
little afterword to him.
1757
01:04:06,810 --> 01:04:08,560
I mean you can't write romance novels
1758
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:10,850
and not be a complete romantic.
1759
01:04:11,690 --> 01:04:12,690
And I know
1760
01:04:12,690 --> 01:04:14,020
you'll get these pickups
1761
01:04:14,020 --> 01:04:15,150
right away
1762
01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:16,320
because I think
1763
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:17,520
you've learned your lesson.
1764
01:04:17,650 --> 01:04:19,610
Yes, I have and I will.
1765
01:04:19,860 --> 01:04:21,360
I will get them done by tonight.
1766
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:23,570
How about this afternoon?
1767
01:04:24,870 --> 01:04:25,320
Sure.
1768
01:04:25,740 --> 01:04:26,660
There's only a few.
1769
01:04:27,450 --> 01:04:28,870
I'll head right into the booth.
1770
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:29,950
Perfect.
1771
01:04:29,950 --> 01:04:31,000
Let's say noon then?
1772
01:04:31,830 --> 01:04:32,710
Noon it is.
1773
01:04:32,710 --> 01:04:34,740
[DUN DUN]
1774
01:04:34,740 --> 01:04:35,940
[whoosh]
1775
01:04:37,020 --> 01:04:39,600
[sighs of relief]
1776
01:04:41,820 --> 01:04:45,310
[sniffs]
1777
01:04:47,110 --> 01:05:17,050
[frenzied music]
1778
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,420
Pick ups for HUNG LIKE A HORSE:
1779
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:21,760
Correction one.
1780
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,590
Her moist lips quivered.
1781
01:05:24,590 --> 01:05:26,680
She was wetter than a snowman in Arizona.
1782
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:28,600
Her breasts heaved with excitement.
1783
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,100
The rhythm of his thrusts
1784
01:05:30,100 --> 01:05:31,770
took Katia over the edge.
1785
01:05:32,390 --> 01:05:34,020
Her thighs squeezed the leather.
1786
01:05:34,020 --> 01:05:35,940
Jake's pants became too tight.
1787
01:05:35,940 --> 01:05:37,100
The tea kettle spurted.
1788
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:38,360
Eee, eee, eee!
1789
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,110
A volcano erupted.
1790
01:05:40,110 --> 01:05:41,820
Like frosting from the tip.
1791
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:43,260
Hah!
1792
01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:50,490
[rattling door]
1793
01:05:50,490 --> 01:05:52,290
In the audiobook production system
1794
01:05:52,290 --> 01:05:54,040
there are two types of narrators
1795
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:56,040
those that can get out of their booths
1796
01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:57,210
and those that cannot.
1797
01:05:58,460 --> 01:05:59,790
Oh god, I'm trapped.
1798
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,790
[DUN DUN]
1799
01:06:03,110 --> 01:06:13,810
[phone ringing]
1800
01:06:13,810 --> 01:06:14,430
Hello.
1801
01:06:14,430 --> 01:06:16,690
No one is available to take your call
1802
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:18,560
Hi Mr. Patino,
1803
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,810
This is Jasalyn.
1804
01:06:20,190 --> 01:06:21,900
and I am
1805
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:23,360
stuck my closet.
1806
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,280
And...
1807
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,320
you're probably gonna get this message...
1808
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:27,450
and I'll be dead.
1809
01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:29,820
The coroner will have already arrived,
1810
01:06:29,820 --> 01:06:31,240
'cuz you never pick up the phone.
1811
01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:32,240
So, bye!
1812
01:06:33,170 --> 01:06:34,240
[sigh]
1813
01:06:36,370 --> 01:06:36,870
Larry...
1814
01:06:38,790 --> 01:06:39,500
Larry!
1815
01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:46,770
[excited breathing]
1816
01:06:46,770 --> 01:06:47,800
[Facetime ringing]
1817
01:06:48,080 --> 01:06:49,050
[Facetime failed]
1818
01:06:49,740 --> 01:06:51,680
[banging]
1819
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:52,390
Larry!
1820
01:06:53,010 --> 01:06:53,720
Larry!
1821
01:06:54,930 --> 01:06:55,850
Larry!
1822
01:06:55,850 --> 01:06:57,480
God you're always there.
1823
01:06:58,020 --> 01:06:58,640
Larry!
1824
01:06:59,230 --> 01:06:59,980
It's Jasalyn!
1825
01:06:59,980 --> 01:07:01,310
Larry, I need you!
1826
01:07:01,650 --> 01:07:02,400
Larry!
1827
01:07:04,070 --> 01:07:05,230
God where could he be?
1828
01:07:05,620 --> 01:07:16,870
[cheerful music]
1829
01:07:16,870 --> 01:07:18,000
Wait, you're trapped in your closet?
1830
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:19,210
How'd you get trapped in your closet?
1831
01:07:19,210 --> 01:07:19,830
I don't know!
1832
01:07:19,830 --> 01:07:21,040
The door won't open.
1833
01:07:21,500 --> 01:07:22,830
Can you come out here or not?
1834
01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:23,500
Oh man Jaw
1835
01:07:23,500 --> 01:07:24,460
I wish I could help you.
1836
01:07:24,460 --> 01:07:25,460
but I got called in
1837
01:07:25,460 --> 01:07:26,840
to read or that Clooney project.
1838
01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:28,760
That's amazing.
1839
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:29,340
I know.
1840
01:07:29,340 --> 01:07:31,050
Fingers crossed it goes well.
1841
01:07:31,050 --> 01:07:32,680
Oh my gosh, break a leg!
1842
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,140
Okay.
1843
01:07:33,140 --> 01:07:34,930
Call me this evening if you're still stuck.
1844
01:07:34,930 --> 01:07:35,720
Okay, will do.
1845
01:07:35,930 --> 01:07:36,890
Okay. Bye.
1846
01:07:37,340 --> 01:07:42,280
[Old Hollywood music]
1847
01:07:43,020 --> 01:07:45,140
[phone ringing]
1848
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:46,610
Oh, hello!
1849
01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:47,280
Hi, Patty--
1850
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:48,570
You've reached the voicemail
1851
01:07:48,570 --> 01:07:49,900
of Patty Haddad
1852
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:51,110
vocal coach.
1853
01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:53,280
For emergency dialect coaching
1854
01:07:53,490 --> 01:07:55,030
please listen to the following
1855
01:07:55,620 --> 01:07:56,580
Please listen to the
1856
01:07:56,580 --> 01:07:57,990
Are you kidding me?
1857
01:07:57,990 --> 01:07:59,750
For standard British,
1858
01:07:59,750 --> 01:08:00,410
please proceed
1859
01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:01,120
by pressing the
1860
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:03,380
first button on your telephone receiver.
1861
01:08:03,750 --> 01:08:05,670
For that soft
1862
01:08:05,670 --> 01:08:06,920
sultry
1863
01:08:07,170 --> 01:08:08,630
Southern accent
1864
01:08:09,090 --> 01:08:11,680
Go on now and press two y'all.
1865
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:12,300
What do I press
1866
01:08:12,300 --> 01:08:13,800
if I'm stuck in my closet, Patty?
1867
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:16,300
Oh, you got a problem with
your New York accent, huh?
1868
01:08:16,300 --> 01:08:17,180
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1869
01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:18,600
That'd be three.
1870
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:19,560
Oh gosh.
1871
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:21,060
Don't tell me you're having trouble
1872
01:08:21,060 --> 01:08:22,640
with a Midwest accent.
1873
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:23,520
Oh boy.
1874
01:08:23,810 --> 01:08:25,520
I guess you better try four
1875
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,070
The mailbox is full.
1876
01:08:29,610 --> 01:08:32,530
Oh, that mailbox is all full now
1877
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:35,660
Oh, someone's gotta take out the trash.
1878
01:08:35,660 --> 01:08:36,780
This is full!
1879
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:37,990
Oh gosh
1880
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,830
This mailbox is full too.
1881
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:41,160
Bye now.
1882
01:08:41,820 --> 01:08:44,200
[call dropping]
1883
01:08:46,820 --> 01:09:04,110
[military drums]
1884
01:09:06,770 --> 01:09:07,650
[door rattle]
1885
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,540
[foot pounding]
1886
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:12,540
Ugh!
1887
01:09:13,070 --> 01:09:14,400
Help!
1888
01:09:14,940 --> 01:09:24,370
[villanous music]
1889
01:09:24,370 --> 01:09:34,450
[Facetime ringing]
1890
01:09:35,300 --> 01:09:35,840
What?
1891
01:09:36,090 --> 01:09:37,010
Hi Richard.
1892
01:09:37,430 --> 01:09:38,010
So...
1893
01:09:38,300 --> 01:09:39,510
funny story...
1894
01:09:40,220 --> 01:09:41,390
I'm gonna be a little delayed
1895
01:09:41,390 --> 01:09:42,310
with those
1896
01:09:42,310 --> 01:09:43,200
pickups.
1897
01:09:45,270 --> 01:09:46,730
Are you wearing a towel?
1898
01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:48,360
Yeah, I just
1899
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:49,230
jumped into my booth
1900
01:09:49,230 --> 01:09:51,730
to do one last edit after my shower
1901
01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:53,570
the door got stuck or something.
1902
01:09:53,570 --> 01:09:54,190
I'm trapped.
1903
01:09:54,740 --> 01:09:56,910
But can you tell Layla it's coming?
1904
01:09:56,910 --> 01:09:57,490
Oh.
1905
01:09:58,200 --> 01:09:59,200
I'll tell Layla.
1906
01:09:59,620 --> 01:10:00,740
I'll tell her what a
1907
01:10:01,450 --> 01:10:03,330
solid professional you are.
1908
01:10:03,540 --> 01:10:04,040
No.
1909
01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:05,500
Just give me her number.
1910
01:10:05,500 --> 01:10:06,120
I'll call her.
1911
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:07,500
Why don't you just FaceTime her?
1912
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:08,880
She can see you recording naked.
1913
01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:09,630
It's perfect.
1914
01:10:09,630 --> 01:10:10,250
Fuck you.
1915
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:11,960
No, you're fucked.
1916
01:10:14,130 --> 01:10:15,260
You don't have anyone that
1917
01:10:15,260 --> 01:10:16,470
can let you out of your closet.
1918
01:10:16,760 --> 01:10:17,590
Yeah, I do.
1919
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:19,430
Uh-huh.
1920
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:20,970
I got loads of people.
1921
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:22,260
Uh-huh.
1922
01:10:22,430 --> 01:10:23,470
I'll figure it out.
1923
01:10:23,470 --> 01:10:23,970
Well,
1924
01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:26,310
you better figure it out soon.
1925
01:10:27,270 --> 01:10:28,060
Asshole!
1926
01:10:28,650 --> 01:10:36,000
[music]
1927
01:10:36,480 --> 01:10:39,940
♫ I don't want to be a loser ♫
1928
01:10:39,940 --> 01:10:43,570
♫ Trick my heart but I know better ♫
1929
01:10:44,110 --> 01:10:46,540
♫ Trick my heart but I know better ♫a
1930
01:10:46,540 --> 01:10:48,940
♫ than to be maneuvered ♫
1931
01:10:48,940 --> 01:10:51,210
♫ let you ditch me when you're done ♫
1932
01:10:51,210 --> 01:10:52,000
Oh Mom
1933
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,170
I made such an ass of myself.
1934
01:10:54,170 --> 01:10:55,260
Ohhh
1935
01:10:55,260 --> 01:10:56,420
What happened, honey?
1936
01:10:56,420 --> 01:10:58,650
Oh God, it's such a long story.
1937
01:10:59,620 --> 01:11:02,880
[Fumbling with keys]
1938
01:11:03,850 --> 01:11:05,060
It's okay, honey.
1939
01:11:05,770 --> 01:11:06,270
Oh!
1940
01:11:06,270 --> 01:11:08,350
My upstairs neighbor just got home.
1941
01:11:08,810 --> 01:11:10,060
He can get me out of here.
1942
01:11:10,270 --> 01:11:11,730
Someone finally moved in?
1943
01:11:11,730 --> 01:11:12,690
Is he nice?
1944
01:11:12,900 --> 01:11:13,650
No.
1945
01:11:14,150 --> 01:11:15,190
But I gotta go.
1946
01:11:15,190 --> 01:11:16,150
Love you, bye.
1947
01:11:16,540 --> 01:11:27,830
[phone ringing]
1948
01:11:27,830 --> 01:11:28,830
Jasalyn, hi.
1949
01:11:29,370 --> 01:11:30,960
Hey Larry, so
1950
01:11:31,290 --> 01:11:32,500
I'm having an emergency
1951
01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:33,710
and I called Mr. Patino
1952
01:11:33,710 --> 01:11:35,250
and of course no answer
1953
01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:35,750
So
1954
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:37,460
I was wondering if you could help me.
1955
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:40,760
Are you naked?
1956
01:11:41,380 --> 01:11:42,800
I'm in my recording booth
1957
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,970
and the door won't open.
1958
01:11:44,220 --> 01:11:44,680
Huh.
1959
01:11:45,010 --> 01:11:46,600
Are you sure you're not a webcam girl?
1960
01:11:46,810 --> 01:11:47,810
Can you come down here?
1961
01:11:47,810 --> 01:11:48,850
There's a key under the mat.
1962
01:11:49,140 --> 01:11:49,810
Uh sure.
1963
01:11:49,810 --> 01:11:50,940
I'll be right down.
1964
01:11:51,110 --> 01:11:52,650
[call end boop]
1965
01:11:54,650 --> 01:11:59,220
[water pipes]
1966
01:11:59,220 --> 01:12:04,410
[phone ringing]
1967
01:12:04,410 --> 01:12:06,030
Larry I can hear the water running.
1968
01:12:06,030 --> 01:12:06,950
This is an emergency.
1969
01:12:06,950 --> 01:12:07,990
I need you right now!
1970
01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:09,330
I just got back from biking
1971
01:12:09,330 --> 01:12:10,290
and I smell.
1972
01:12:10,290 --> 01:12:10,910
Who cares?
1973
01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:11,920
Just come help me.
1974
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:13,210
Okay, I'll be right down.
1975
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:15,960
In the audiobook production system
1976
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:16,840
there are two separate
1977
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:18,300
but equally important groups.
1978
01:12:18,630 --> 01:12:20,220
those that are stuck in their booths
1979
01:12:20,630 --> 01:12:21,510
and those
1980
01:12:21,510 --> 01:12:22,720
that can rescue them.
1981
01:12:22,720 --> 01:12:23,220
Hello?
1982
01:12:23,220 --> 01:12:24,840
Oh Larry, I'm in here.
1983
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:28,720
Where are you?
1984
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:30,140
You know I'm in the closet.
1985
01:12:30,140 --> 01:12:31,020
Stop joking.
1986
01:12:32,850 --> 01:12:33,390
Where?
1987
01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:35,690
Larry this isn't funny.
1988
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,070
Well, it's a little funny.
1989
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:39,150
Come on, stop fucking around just
1990
01:12:39,150 --> 01:12:40,280
get me out of here.
1991
01:12:40,280 --> 01:12:41,690
Okay, there's a
1992
01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:42,650
looks like there's a
1993
01:12:42,650 --> 01:12:43,700
a rod
1994
01:12:43,700 --> 01:12:44,910
stuck in the track
1995
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:46,530
Will you stop pushing the door?
1996
01:12:46,910 --> 01:12:47,910
Then open it.
1997
01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:49,740
I can't because you're pushing.
1998
01:12:50,750 --> 01:12:51,580
Stop pushing!
1999
01:12:51,580 --> 01:12:53,500
When I get out of here
2000
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:54,910
Oh!
2001
01:12:56,250 --> 01:13:11,450
[romantic music]
2002
01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:13,480
[gasp]
2003
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:15,450
Oh!
2004
01:13:18,220 --> 01:13:30,370
[hesitant music]
2005
01:13:30,370 --> 01:13:31,540
Here's your towel.
2006
01:13:31,820 --> 01:13:34,540
[hesitant music]
2007
01:13:34,830 --> 01:13:36,510
Thank you.
2008
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:39,570
[hesitant music]
2009
01:13:39,850 --> 01:13:40,800
I um...
2010
01:13:43,550 --> 01:13:45,220
I didn't see anything.
2011
01:13:45,450 --> 01:13:48,740
[hesitant music]
2012
01:13:48,970 --> 01:13:51,080
If I did see anything, it was beautiful.
2013
01:13:51,310 --> 01:13:55,280
[hesitant music[
2014
01:13:55,730 --> 01:13:56,810
I'll just uh...
2015
01:13:58,860 --> 01:14:00,060
I'll just show myself out.
2016
01:14:00,440 --> 01:14:01,230
Okay.
2017
01:14:01,230 --> 01:14:01,900
Thanks.
2018
01:14:02,610 --> 01:14:03,320
Bye.
2019
01:14:04,770 --> 01:14:06,510
[footsteps]
2020
01:14:07,140 --> 01:14:10,030
[dramatic music]
2021
01:14:10,030 --> 01:14:11,620
Jasalyn was stunned.
2022
01:14:12,910 --> 01:14:13,790
Could it be?
2023
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:15,110
[front door closes]
2024
01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:19,080
She felt a warmth in her belly.
2025
01:14:21,250 --> 01:14:22,750
A quicker in her thighs.
2026
01:14:24,130 --> 01:14:25,670
Her heart racing and sweat
2027
01:14:25,670 --> 01:14:27,680
dripping down between her breasts.
2028
01:14:28,380 --> 01:14:29,930
She had never in all her life
2029
01:14:29,930 --> 01:14:31,850
in all her most erotic fantasies
2030
01:14:32,390 --> 01:14:33,720
never had she imagined
2031
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:35,350
she could ever feel as much passion
2032
01:14:35,350 --> 01:14:36,560
as she felt in this
2033
01:14:38,350 --> 01:14:39,980
I don't know how to read this stuff.
2034
01:14:41,940 --> 01:14:42,520
I know.
2035
01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:44,360
I make it look easy.
2036
01:14:46,340 --> 01:14:48,110
[DUN DUN]
2037
01:14:49,340 --> 01:15:13,540
[narrator hums]
2038
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:17,180
Uh, yes.
2039
01:15:17,180 --> 01:15:18,560
Yes, it is uh...
2040
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:20,230
it is quite true what you've heard.
2041
01:15:20,230 --> 01:15:21,520
I am, uh
2042
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:22,690
I am hung
2043
01:15:22,690 --> 01:15:23,730
like a horse.
2044
01:15:23,980 --> 01:15:25,780
Oh quit going on about your penis!
2045
01:15:25,780 --> 01:15:27,190
We all know you're only doing it
2046
01:15:27,190 --> 01:15:28,150
to forget about the fact
2047
01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:29,650
they took both your testicles.
2048
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:31,200
Oh, but they took yours too.
2049
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:32,120
Don't tell them that!
2050
01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:35,030
It is true, though.
2051
01:15:35,580 --> 01:15:36,490
They took them both.