1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:36,078 {\an8}凱文哈特 3月18、19日好萊塢露天劇場 4 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:42,793 {\an8}格蘭科拉米諾龍舌蘭酒 5 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,422 《傑佛森一家》 6 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:48,758 我在九千多公尺高空 7 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,552 他們拜託我,求我穿降落傘 8 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,597 大家都在幫腔,他們求我穿 9 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,641 告訴我最後你有穿降落傘 10 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:03,147 當然沒有,我要來真的 11 00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,482 –要逼真才行 –對 12 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,901 知道湯姆克魯斯叫降落傘什麼?尿布 13 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,111 –跳下來裡面都是屎尿嗎? –不是 14 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,322 湯姆說叫我穿降落傘 15 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,741 乾脆給我包尿布,送我去養老算了 16 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,992 凱文 17 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:18,120 第一部片大獲成功 18 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,582 《傑佛森一家》很可以做成系列電影 19 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:25,544 你的經紀人說你還沒決定要拍續集 20 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,880 –我想了解是錢的問題嗎? –黛姊 21 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,341 《傑佛森一家》很好看 22 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:32,760 我們合作愉快,但說實話 23 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,513 走到那個片場感覺被保護得太好 24 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:38,182 還給我動作指導 25 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,434 還有舞台監督 26 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,686 吊鋼絲、用綠幕 27 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,563 你還是有辦法 28 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,607 不穿降落傘跳機 29 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,819 我沒跟妳說實話 30 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,320 忘了說是騙妳的 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,072 不要那麼急 32 00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:55,699 以後再說,妳知道是假的就好 33 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,827 我不得已才亂掰,都是裝的 34 00:01:57,827 --> 00:02:01,497 知道我幹麼要裝嗎? 黛姊,我不是正港的動作明星 35 00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,874 凱文,你把情境喜劇的乾洗店老闆 36 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,585 變成超厲害的傑森包恩 37 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:10,297 –你是真材實料的動作明星 –還不是 38 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,841 –還不是? –對 39 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,387 我會是的,等妳投資我下一部片 40 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:18,347 好的 41 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,975 黛姊,下面這段話乍聽起來好像很扯 42 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,561 我向妳保證,只要去做就有機會 43 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,980 –閉上眼睛 –好 44 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,816 黛姊,想像自己徒步上山 45 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,030 給我趴在地上,快點 46 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,366 渾身銅臭的傢伙 47 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,496 皮夾、勞力士、珠寶 48 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,582 所有高檔貨,怎麼這麼慢? 49 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:46,667 都給我交出來,快點 50 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,335 不要慌 51 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,254 值錢的東西,快交出來 52 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,882 快放進來 53 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,049 走過來了 54 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,343 我沒時間跟你耗 55 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,012 完了 56 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,891 小矮子,想躲啊? 57 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,228 你剛叫我什麼? 58 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,107 這麼矮的男人,皮夾肯定很大 59 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,358 放進來 60 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,238 要我的皮夾? 61 00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:19,116 –後退,我來 –你來什麼? 62 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:25,497 –槍給我,靠 –妳信這個蠢貨 63 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,460 頭過來 64 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,553 沒看過有人保險沒開就要開槍 65 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,596 什麼? 66 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,067 我討厭槍 67 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,568 糟了 68 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,197 –不要開槍 –爛貨 69 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:15,381 牛肉送你吃,混蛋 70 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,515 我沒什麼,你們沒事就好 71 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,017 好在大家都平安 72 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,395 外面的世界很亂,有很多瘋子 73 00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:30,437 凱文 74 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:31,981 凱文? 75 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,066 剛是怎麼回事? 76 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,319 正港的動作 77 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,613 –就是這樣 –好 78 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,490 臨場感十足 79 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:45,452 黛姊,我要全球觀眾感受那股刺激 80 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,371 都是套好的? 81 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,873 套得好好的,他們是演員 82 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,418 想說給妳一點臨場感 83 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,961 這是我們要拍的片 84 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,714 我有把故事大綱帶來 85 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,508 大概寫一寫,讓妳有個概念 86 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,719 –天啊 –好嗎? 87 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:05,264 我們的片存在臨場動作的世界 88 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:08,058 就是沒劇本的打趴別人 89 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,602 那個人拿槍K你 90 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,729 妳是說老賴? 91 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:15,232 老賴,演得很好,鐵定會很痛 92 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:18,027 –當然 –臭老賴,好樣的 93 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:20,320 你精神不正常 94 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,324 黛姊,我想當名符其實的動作明星 95 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,912 你要我說什麼? 96 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:33,417 黛姊,我要妳點頭答應 97 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,297 不行,我絕不會答應 98 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,674 –不管哪個片商都不行 –拜託 99 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,926 –不行 –麻煩妳看一下 100 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,053 黛姊,麻煩妳 101 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:50,100 麻煩妳看一下,拿去 102 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,061 –我... –好了 103 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,146 看一下就好 104 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:57,483 我會看 105 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,780 成功了 106 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:23,801 {\an8}喬事哥,她是不是很愛? 107 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,345 就說吧,她給你預算多少? 108 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,723 三億?四億...五億預算? 109 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,808 開車就好 110 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,356 凱文,是他們沒眼光 111 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,650 你是天王,這個小地方配不上你 112 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,778 聽到沒?你是我的天王 113 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,988 像神般崇拜 114 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:48,200 等一下,那邊那個女的是她嗎? 115 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,160 把劇本丟掉的人是她嗎? 116 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,955 不好意思,穿紅外套的小姐 117 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,206 妳好 118 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:57,918 凱文達奈爾哈特是國寶 119 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,920 –開車 –我們要開車 120 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,172 但說實話,妳實在不要那麼假 121 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:05,592 –幸會 –阿安,開你的車 122 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:10,597 {\an8}終極哈特2:搏命演出 123 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:19,022 今天是你最美好的一天,報紙 124 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,984 阿安,你每天都說一樣的錯話 125 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:26,363 你還沒喝芝麻豆腐奶昔才不耐煩 126 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,740 馬上拿來,蘇菲,他的芝豆昔 127 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:32,744 –你那樣叫很討厭 –來了,大口吸,很好 128 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,166 我不耐煩是因為我的夢想片被打臉 129 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,001 現在要怎麼辦? 130 00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:42,963 還有我們,有我們挺你 131 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,592 –你說誰啊? –漢娜、蘇菲、我 132 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:50,053 提傑在那邊,我們可是你的心腹團 133 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,931 我知道你欠按摩 134 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,850 妮娜,可以熱石按摩了嗎? 135 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:58,187 –給我十分鐘 –給她十分鐘 136 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,355 凱文,你好了就開始 137 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,941 –我好了 –你可以 138 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,319 最好是,拿去 139 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:09,072 –夭壽,你好嗎? –很好 140 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:13,118 凱哥,假裝在瑞士阿爾卑斯山騎單車 141 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,953 阿爾卑斯山會電腦後製 142 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,665 沒單車要怎麼騎? 143 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,959 那個也會電腦後製,開拍 144 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,465 –要我騎空氣? –騎下去 145 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,885 –演在騎單車 –沒錯 146 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,596 凱文,像這樣手伸直 147 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,391 不要鬧了 148 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,143 我演不出來 149 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:43,649 不能再這樣假下去 150 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:48,278 什麼電腦後製,什麼綠幕煩死了 151 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,072 假得要命 152 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,448 不是 153 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,325 我要正港的動作 154 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:54,993 凱文,不要抓狂 155 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,165 妮娜,熱石幾時會好? 156 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,341 A咖演員凱文哈特又上新聞 157 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,803 主演高人氣重拍電影《傑佛森一家》 158 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,763 {\an8}哈特暴走,好萊塢明星破壞餐廳 159 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,099 {\an8}哈特自掏腰包破壞高級餐廳 160 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:20,727 {\an8}試圖爭取片商老闆投資他所謂的 161 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,897 {\an8}真人實境版動作片 162 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,233 就在一年前這位演員 163 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,070 高調開除長期合作的替身道格尤班斯 164 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,907 讓劇組人員措手不及 165 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,325 把這個人帶來 166 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:40,289 把這個凱文哈特帶來 167 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,670 事情大條了 168 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:50,340 不是我在說,阿安,你不懂 169 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,968 我把夢想片丟出來,結果呢? 170 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,678 卡爾史壯伯格搶著拍 171 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,722 沒錯 172 00:09:57,681 --> 00:10:00,309 老闆,說實在的,我不喜歡 173 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,227 你不知道這個人的底細 174 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:05,480 我上網查他都查不到資料 175 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,107 誰叫他是歐洲人 176 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,735 大家都知道他們有自己的網路 177 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,154 這個傢伙銀彈很多,超有錢 178 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:15,615 他想拍我的片,我是沒意見 179 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,410 老闆,我沒辦法 180 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,330 為你著想是我的工作 181 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,414 你剛說什麼? 182 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,958 –為你著想是我的... –哪是啊 183 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,003 其實你的工作剛好相反 184 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,796 阿安,知道誰為我著想嗎? 185 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,425 是我,為我著想的人是我 186 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,885 –停車 –什麼? 187 00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:37,262 –我自己開 –凱文,不行 188 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,931 不能自己開,你需要我 189 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,184 誰需要你,更正一下 190 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:44,936 我不需要你,不需要替身 191 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:47,647 更不需要助理教我怎麼生活 192 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,815 叫你停車 193 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:54,321 –方向盤不要握中間 –阿安,閉嘴 194 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,614 叫你閉嘴 195 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,991 –我會開 –我們都知道 196 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,910 我們知道他會開車 197 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:02,704 手放在排檔桿,打到D檔 198 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,997 打到一檔 199 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,124 不對,那是倒車,我來幫你好了 200 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:09,002 我上車,發動再開出去 201 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,421 –沒人知道是我 –誰要你幫 202 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,840 很好,非常好 203 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,593 –車有在動 –順得要命 204 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:19,638 滾,我要一路開回家 205 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:41,743 卡爾 206 00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:46,498 卡爾,你是做什麼的? 207 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,545 我靠開採貴金屬致富 208 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:56,842 現在投資巴爾幹半島電影為主 209 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,927 投資過一部北韓片 210 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,720 那邊申請拍攝一定不容易 211 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,140 孬種才去申請 212 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:07,894 你的故事大綱,很危險 213 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,813 很暴力 214 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,817 幾乎沒劇本,一般人很難理解 215 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,863 我不是一般人 216 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:21,700 我是卡爾史壯伯格 217 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,742 對 218 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,077 所以 219 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,457 我會投資你的電影 220 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,376 我沒聽錯吧? 221 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,921 你要投資我的電影? 222 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,092 好開心 223 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,720 還不用套招演一遍,那樣貴桑桑 224 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,306 我可不想花錢打破這片玻璃 225 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:47,184 卡爾,害我還很焦慮 226 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977 焦慮到不行 227 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,188 你剛讓我的焦慮一掃而空 228 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,523 –是別人沒眼光 –對 229 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:57,736 外界看衰你從喜劇轉型到動作片 230 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:58,653 有嗎? 231 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:02,073 你開除替身,特技親自上陣 232 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:04,409 外界看衰你 233 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,369 –誰說的? –大家都知道 234 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:09,581 現在只剩你和阿湯哥特技自己來 235 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,875 這是事實 236 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,793 我們路線很像 237 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,462 怎樣?你要幹麼? 238 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,464 凱文,這部片 239 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:23,136 會讓你走出自己的路 240 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:29,392 成為獨一無二的動作明星 241 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:33,188 沒錯,獨一無二的動作明星 242 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,149 對 243 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,693 卡爾,這樣才對 244 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:43,573 你懂我,感覺我們一見如故 245 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:48,245 真受不了電腦後製和綠幕 246 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,082 卡爾,這個故事你覺得怎樣? 247 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,876 –觀眾看電影不是看故事 –對 248 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,128 是看動作 249 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,173 還有裸露鏡頭 250 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:03,927 我的劇本... 251 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,805 裡面沒裸露鏡頭 252 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,933 你要的話,有人想看雞雞 253 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:12,018 我能加戲 254 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,855 我不怕正面全裸,我願意犧牲色相 255 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,524 只要觀眾想看 256 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,359 我最在意的點是動作 257 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:23,154 我不想照劇本來,要冷不防出現 258 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,282 –包準你閃尿 –你說什麼? 259 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:27,617 褲子會隨時準備好 260 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:30,287 你閃尿就能換 261 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,999 –嚇到閃尿 –你會閃尿 262 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:37,836 –我會嚇到閃尿 –尿到滿褲子 263 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,170 包準你閃尿 264 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,881 –我想閃尿 –你會 265 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,091 我很想閃個幾滴 266 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,926 –很想閃尿? –沒錯 267 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,053 滿褲子都是尿 268 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,389 卡爾,誰怕誰 269 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:53,018 我現在就想閃尿 270 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,856 –幾時開始讓我閃? –早就開始了 271 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,692 你後面有一台隱藏攝影機 272 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,198 看到了 273 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,785 那個小小黑黑的黑塊 274 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:06,007 後退,不要過來 275 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,385 你抓錯人了 276 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:12,138 靠,我的菊花要失身了 277 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,184 舔完菊花是不是要燒死我? 278 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,603 你是誰? 279 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,439 告訴我這是什麼地方 280 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:25,819 等一下,卡爾史壯伯格是你老闆? 281 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,492 卡爾史壯伯格是不是你老闆? 282 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:39,082 好 283 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,713 電影開拍了 284 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:48,091 都是演的,卡爾,我喜歡 285 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,135 靠 286 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,178 讓我想想演到哪裡 287 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,139 夭壽,害我心跳狂飆 288 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:57,392 算你狠,還以為你要舔我菊花 289 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,894 三、二、一 290 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,939 鎮定下來,開始 291 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,072 我找你找得好辛苦 292 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,451 巴索羅繆先生,你真難找 293 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,624 換你接話 294 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,127 你有一句台詞 295 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,214 你說完,我會做反應 296 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:31,760 我要接下去演,除非你不是工會演員 297 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,805 他是不是工會演員?有人嗎? 298 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:39,309 麻煩你...劇本有改 299 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:42,395 肯定有人改劇本,讓我培養情緒 300 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,651 要拿大剪刀剪斷我手指? 301 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,071 剪斷我的腿?我的腳? 302 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:56,284 插句話,踢趴你一隻腳就夠 303 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,955 那段能剪進預告 304 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:02,832 –我只... –晚安 305 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,836 用大剪刀太便宜這個人 306 00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:11,049 是製片嗎?還是卡爾?卡爾? 307 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,301 他要贖罪 308 00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:16,805 什麼東西?贖什麼罪 309 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,350 要讓他嘗到他給別人的痛苦 310 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,814 我一頭霧水,不知道演到哪裡 311 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,068 要改劇本,也要給我腳本吧 312 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,403 我不會出戲 313 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:38,868 慢慢來好不好? 314 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:41,037 我懂你,你是氣我... 315 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,498 不要再過來,站在那邊就好 316 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:45,291 不要過來 317 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,796 數到十 318 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,924 數你的頭,等等 319 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:56,386 大哥,夭壽,不要割到我雞雞 320 00:18:56,386 --> 00:19:00,807 不要割到,不管,老子跟你拚了 321 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:04,519 超帥 322 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,649 很好 323 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,237 一、二 324 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,490 快點 325 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,367 快啊 326 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:36,050 可惡,算你倒楣 327 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,762 有沒有拍到? 328 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,350 凹回來,沒問題 329 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,107 蒙托亞,我來了 330 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,736 這個片場超屌,好逼真 331 00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,615 靠 332 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,200 是蒙托亞的人 333 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,424 喬丹?妳來這裡幹麼? 334 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,513 那個混蛋,妳有受傷嗎? 335 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,142 –有受傷嗎? –凱文,怎麼回事? 336 00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,685 鈾劫案 337 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,354 –就是這樣 –等等,什麼? 338 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,481 巴索羅繆被我打趴了 339 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:34,442 蒙托亞將軍不會輕易放過我們 340 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,362 你到底在說什麼? 341 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,907 我在遛狗 342 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,452 莫名其妙被人用麻醉槍射中脖子 343 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,329 醒來就在這裡 344 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,874 妳說什麼?妳沒跟卡爾史壯伯格談? 345 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:53,503 –誰? –卡爾史壯伯格,談電影的事 346 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,964 我們在演這部片 347 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:59,717 是真人實境片,動作戲都是臨場來 348 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:03,846 沒綠幕和鋼絲,動作自然不套招 349 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:07,392 我的演藝事業和動作片地位 會更上一層樓 350 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,311 –你是始作俑者? –劇本是我的 351 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,897 花我...誰曉得多久寫的,卡爾... 352 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,315 你到底有什麼毛病? 353 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,942 –你哪根筋不對? –靠 354 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:19,237 –煩死了 –住手,好刺 355 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:22,615 妳躺在上面多久?好痛 356 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,575 妳幹麼態度那麼差? 357 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:29,914 故事大綱很簡單,這是鋪陳 我是三面間諜 358 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:32,875 軍情七處,最高層級的間諜 359 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,254 沒人比我高,妳是我喜歡的人 360 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,589 他們把妳擄來好抓我 361 00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,758 現在我來救妳 362 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,301 –懂不懂? –可憐 363 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,388 綁票是重罪 364 00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:47,682 又不是小孩子 365 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,058 就擄走而已 366 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:52,520 –那才可憐 –凱文,媽的 367 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,814 幹麼罵人?幹麼對我氣噗噗? 368 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,733 要氣也氣卡爾史壯伯格 369 00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,568 我不認識那個人 370 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:05,575 不要讓他們聽到 371 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:07,827 誰?誰會聽到? 372 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,747 這裡沒半個人,不要說卡爾史壯伯格 373 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,457 是史壯還是史裝? 374 00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:14,333 不知道是史壯還是史裝伯格 375 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,335 –我... –好 376 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:20,173 到處都有攝影機,我們在拍片 377 00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:24,719 哪裡?沒看到半台攝影機 378 00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:27,847 麻煩妳睜大眼睛,到處都是好不好 379 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,599 聽好 380 00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:32,727 妳只要順著演下去就好 381 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:36,856 這是我們的大好機會,趕快入戲 382 00:22:38,149 --> 00:22:39,150 拜託? 383 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:46,115 這個地方比諾克斯堡戒備還森嚴 384 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,785 老天,對白誰寫的? 385 00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:51,079 那些混蛋知道我會來救妳 386 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,373 來個英雄救美 387 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:59,796 謝謝你救我 388 00:22:59,796 --> 00:23:02,507 我就像小女人 389 00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:06,052 整個人花容失色,要男人來救我 390 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:08,971 叫我吃東西,才不會餓死 391 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:12,391 叫我呼吸,才不會窒息 392 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,143 卡,能卡一下嗎? 393 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:16,270 妳能不能配合我? 394 00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:19,649 –我寧願不要 –拜託 395 00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,777 –謝謝 –好吧 396 00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:26,030 大家重來一次,自己喊開拍 397 00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:30,326 妳知道外面有什麼嗎? 398 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,787 外面有喪心病狂的人 399 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:37,917 我說的是傭兵、殺手、忍者 沒用的空手道館教練 400 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,087 一拖拉庫自以為能傷害我的人 401 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,298 有人懸賞要拿我的人頭 402 00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:47,927 艾絲美拉妲,跟妳說 403 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,722 我會付賞金 404 00:23:52,557 --> 00:23:54,183 送上我的人頭 405 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:57,979 只要能救妳,讓妳念完醫學院 406 00:23:57,979 --> 00:24:00,857 完成妳開診所的心願,靠 407 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:03,734 完成妳開診所的心願 408 00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:05,319 艾絲美拉妲,等等 409 00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,656 艾絲美拉妲 410 00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:14,954 陰魂不散的大塊呆 411 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,664 不要傷害她,聽到沒? 412 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:19,709 這件事跟她無關 413 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:24,630 七萬八千公斤的失竊鈾 是我跟你的恩怨 414 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,508 想來硬的? 415 00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:29,760 老子奉陪到底 416 00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:33,389 假到不行 417 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:37,310 凱文,下次你要拍爛片,不要找我 418 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,645 哇靠 419 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:45,651 不好意思,這個臨演呆瓜 420 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:48,404 剛用斧頭K我的臉嗎? 421 00:24:48,404 --> 00:24:51,240 卡,不行,馬上卡 422 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,619 什麼怪電影,叫製片出來 423 00:25:06,631 --> 00:25:07,798 你這麼弱? 424 00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:11,302 喬丹,讓我入鏡 425 00:25:13,638 --> 00:25:15,056 揍扁他 426 00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:21,854 喬丹,我的角色也要露臉,換我 427 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,195 漂亮 428 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,995 撐住 429 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:44,001 帥啦 430 00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:50,174 拍到了,真是精采,打得好 431 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:54,345 來,打趴他的人應該是我才對 432 00:25:54,345 --> 00:25:57,139 我是男主角,應該是我 433 00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,266 後製再修... 434 00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:02,603 快走 435 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:09,652 那個傢伙想砍死我 436 00:26:09,652 --> 00:26:12,738 凱文,不是演電影,他砍人不手軟 437 00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:17,159 真人實境是有點差 438 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,495 有點差?這叫有點差? 439 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,080 還好嗎? 440 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,499 妳只是想叫我道歉 441 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,793 –讓我喘一下,怎樣? –凱文,不是 442 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:29,213 你被真的子彈射中 443 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,008 那是假血 444 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,803 –什麼?血當然是真的 –不是,舔一下 445 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:37,972 –誰要舔你的血 –舔舔看 446 00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:39,932 –是豬血 –不要 447 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,017 不是我的血 448 00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:43,728 會不會痛? 449 00:26:44,562 --> 00:26:46,647 糟了 450 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:49,817 我要躺一下 451 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:56,574 凱文,不要睡,你看 452 00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,826 有攝影師要拍照 453 00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:01,120 很好,快起來 454 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,581 什麼世界 455 00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:04,915 藥局櫃台 456 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:06,167 妳朋友有什麼事? 457 00:27:06,167 --> 00:27:08,627 就是很突然的意外 458 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:14,258 他被一個飛得很快的小東西 459 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:17,636 射穿肩膀,需要止痛藥止痛 460 00:27:18,512 --> 00:27:22,016 我是沒藥單,不過真的很緊急 461 00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:25,102 這樣啊 462 00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:32,068 想不想買好貨?來點蝴蝶片、奧施 463 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,779 草包、濕蓋、飆吉? 464 00:27:34,779 --> 00:27:36,030 月餅、蜘蛛派? 465 00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:39,367 我不是毒蟲,認不出我是演員嗎? 466 00:27:42,078 --> 00:27:43,496 算了 467 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,081 我的白痴朋友中槍 468 00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:47,583 是真槍實彈 469 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:51,796 他在巷子血流不止,你不幫我救他 470 00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:53,881 就是見死不救 471 00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:57,760 我認識他嗎? 472 00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:00,721 算你走運,只是皮肉傷 473 00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,350 拿去,只能要到這瓶酒 474 00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:07,853 –要幹麼? –痛的時候喝 475 00:28:08,604 --> 00:28:10,356 那個藥劑師真是奇葩 476 00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:14,026 妳拿這瓶酒給我才是奇葩 477 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,986 我不能喝競爭酒廠的酒 478 00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:18,239 回去跟他要格蘭科拉米諾 479 00:28:18,239 --> 00:28:21,575 真的假的?凱文,你中槍,我被綁票 480 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:24,161 –又不是小孩子 –你要解決這件事 481 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:25,746 –夠了 –馬上解決 482 00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:28,457 就說沒辦法了 483 00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:31,710 我想也沒辦法,橋段都是刻意設計 484 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,130 我讓卡爾史壯伯格全權做主 485 00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,674 他可是大金主 486 00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:39,802 你有聽到自己說什麼吧? 487 00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:42,638 阿安沒說錯 488 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,057 你的助理阿安? 489 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,183 我的助理 490 00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:48,769 不對,是前助理 491 00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:51,730 他說得對,這樣好了 492 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,649 我們去找卡爾史壯伯格 493 00:28:54,442 --> 00:28:56,235 就去找他 494 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,446 叫他不要亂改劇本 495 00:28:58,446 --> 00:29:02,408 現在他整個大暴走 496 00:29:02,408 --> 00:29:03,576 劇情亂七八糟 497 00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:06,328 這部片要大賣 498 00:29:06,328 --> 00:29:08,831 就不能這樣亂搞 499 00:29:08,831 --> 00:29:10,291 去找他 500 00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:14,587 至少我的車還在 501 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:17,339 只有你的車,這裡沒半台車 502 00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:19,717 週末人比較少 503 00:29:19,717 --> 00:29:22,261 凱文,今天是星期二 504 00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:28,434 什麼東西 505 00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:32,897 凱文,這裡好像很久沒人的樣子 506 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:35,524 不對,我剛才在這裡 507 00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:38,486 史壯伯格就坐在那邊 508 00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:40,821 是上禮拜還是上上禮拜 509 00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:43,949 我被打昏記不清楚,我真的來過 510 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,285 他坐在這邊的辦公桌 511 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,162 他就坐在這裡... 512 00:29:55,503 --> 00:29:57,087 包準你閃尿 513 00:29:57,755 --> 00:30:00,466 就知道我沒瘋 514 00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:04,595 不然怎麼會有雪茄菸蒂? 515 00:30:04,595 --> 00:30:06,222 知道他在幹麼嗎? 516 00:30:06,222 --> 00:30:08,474 他抽雪茄很怪 517 00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:11,560 用舔的,還塞鼻孔,口水流滿根 518 00:30:12,186 --> 00:30:16,815 我看著他在做,他還閉眼享受... 519 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:24,240 幹麼把我扯進你的找死奇幻片? 520 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,493 妳說什麼?我只叫他考慮喬丹金 521 00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:29,370 考慮是一種提議 522 00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:31,080 很好,謝謝你的提議 523 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,208 妳是瑞典大明星,搞不好才找妳 524 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:37,461 瑞典大明星是格蕾塔童貝里 525 00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:40,548 –那個環保少女? –瑞典人最重視環保 526 00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:42,716 等等 527 00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:46,095 等一下,過來,這是什麼? 528 00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:50,057 妳看,看一下好不好? 529 00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:00,651 什麼東西? 530 00:31:04,154 --> 00:31:05,155 播放我 531 00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:07,741 有錄影帶,好久沒看到這種東西 532 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,834 我是巴克華經紀公司的布萊恩麥法登 533 00:31:16,834 --> 00:31:20,129 來試鏡...是史壯伯格還是史裝伯格? 534 00:31:20,129 --> 00:31:25,217 卡爾史壯伯格就是他,髮型不太一樣 535 00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:28,887 把這個人帶來,這個凱文哈特 536 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:31,682 聲音要低沉一點 537 00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:34,059 凱文,是試鏡帶 538 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:36,895 看也知道 539 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,315 問題是幹麼要放試鏡帶 540 00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:40,566 為什麼是試鏡帶? 541 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:42,943 等一下,有卡爾史壯伯格這個人嗎? 542 00:31:43,736 --> 00:31:45,738 你來開會前沒上網查他嗎? 543 00:31:45,738 --> 00:31:46,947 他是瑞典人 544 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:50,492 要我大老遠跑到瑞典查他?不要鬧了 545 00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:51,869 你有嗑藥嗎? 546 00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:59,043 快接起來 547 00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,386 哪位? 548 00:32:09,386 --> 00:32:11,847 動作明星先生 549 00:32:11,847 --> 00:32:13,641 恭喜你逃出來 550 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,018 知道你用真槍實彈射我嗎? 551 00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,436 當然知道 552 00:32:17,436 --> 00:32:20,481 –可惜沒射死你 –笨死了 553 00:32:20,481 --> 00:32:23,192 –射死我就沒戲唱了 –白痴 554 00:32:23,192 --> 00:32:26,779 –從頭到尾都沒戲 –什麼意思? 555 00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,364 你給我正經點 556 00:32:28,364 --> 00:32:29,907 別褻瀆這個行業 557 00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:31,408 我們在拍片 558 00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,243 你是哪位?是製片嗎? 559 00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:35,663 你忘記自己是誰 560 00:32:35,663 --> 00:32:37,373 自己的出身 561 00:32:37,373 --> 00:32:39,541 誰會忘記那種事? 562 00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:43,837 你小學一年級的老師叫什麼? 563 00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:49,093 福克森老師 564 00:32:49,093 --> 00:32:52,012 不對,克拉森老師,克拉...克萊森 565 00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:53,097 克萊森老師 566 00:32:53,097 --> 00:32:55,099 你出生的醫院叫什麼? 567 00:32:55,099 --> 00:32:57,434 –扯到那裡幹麼? –叫什麼? 568 00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:00,729 快想 569 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:06,360 –聖佛肯斯丁 –怪怪的 570 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,237 聖佛肯斯丁醫院 571 00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:11,281 少給我問東問西,廢話那麼多 572 00:33:11,281 --> 00:33:13,367 你到底是誰? 573 00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:16,161 我是結束你生命的那個人 574 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:17,955 你不再是凱文哈特 575 00:33:17,955 --> 00:33:19,540 –你什麼都不是 –什麼東西? 576 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:22,501 不好意思,請問把我扯進來做什麼? 577 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:27,214 凱文,你幹麼講那麼久 578 00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:31,343 不好意思我想了解狀況 579 00:33:31,343 --> 00:33:34,096 想聽殺人魔把話說完 580 00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:36,223 抱歉害妳沒講到話 581 00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:39,560 –喬丹,有完沒完 –聽到沒? 582 00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,233 是錄影機在叫,什麼東西? 583 00:33:48,986 --> 00:33:51,238 –幹,是炸彈 –什麼? 584 00:33:51,238 --> 00:33:53,866 –有炸彈 –快拆掉 585 00:33:53,866 --> 00:33:56,952 –妳來啊 –我最好知道怎麼拆炸彈 586 00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:58,954 妳是說我是黑人就知道? 587 00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:00,706 黑人都會拆炸彈? 588 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:02,791 –我沒那樣說 –最好是 589 00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:05,210 種族歧視的女人,走開 590 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:09,423 快點,真要命 591 00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:10,841 打開電梯門 592 00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,260 快拉 593 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:17,848 撐住門 594 00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:25,481 快閃,靠 595 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:35,115 應該是在拍片 596 00:34:35,908 --> 00:34:39,119 就是假炸彈...靠 597 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,756 車鑰匙呢?嚇死我了 598 00:34:50,756 --> 00:34:52,508 哥,你沒事,什麼那麼大聲? 599 00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:55,761 阿安?你來幹麼?快上車 600 00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:58,806 講這樣,幫你開車門,好了 601 00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:00,974 凱文,炸彈真到不行 602 00:35:00,974 --> 00:35:02,726 –好 –真炸彈 603 00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:04,603 喬丹,拜託妳替我想想 604 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:07,064 不要,幹麼要替你想 605 00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:09,608 安靜,閉上你的鳥嘴 606 00:35:10,359 --> 00:35:12,778 喬丹,我是阿安,不知道妳記不記得 607 00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,696 –手握好方向盤 –好的 608 00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:16,865 我是凱文的徒弟 609 00:35:16,865 --> 00:35:21,078 抱歉,我是凱文的助理 前助理,記性好差 610 00:35:21,078 --> 00:35:22,830 阿安,我當然記得 611 00:35:23,789 --> 00:35:26,124 凱文在街上把你炒了? 612 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,669 哪是,怎麼可能 613 00:35:28,669 --> 00:35:32,047 應該是人行道,我超愛遊民巷 614 00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:35,384 每個人都有故事,好多受教機會 615 00:35:35,384 --> 00:35:38,762 等等,你沒回家,一直等到現在? 616 00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,764 我是備用鑰匙不離身 617 00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:42,891 那是我的工作,等一下沒關係 618 00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:46,436 –30個小時咻一下就過去 –30個小時? 619 00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:49,398 只要凱文平安,叫我等到死都行 620 00:35:49,398 --> 00:35:51,775 住嘴,我沒叫你這樣 621 00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,610 –不要一副我是惡老闆的嘴臉 –我知道 622 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,696 你炒我魷魚 623 00:35:55,696 --> 00:35:58,949 原來他被炒是想警告你 624 00:35:58,949 --> 00:36:01,577 這個瑞典流氓其實是爛演員 625 00:36:01,577 --> 00:36:03,745 他找人想殺掉我們 626 00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:06,206 我實在搞不清楚狀況 627 00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:09,293 喬丹,我要說一下,妳還在氣我 628 00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:12,880 我會氣你氣到老 629 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,882 很抱歉插個話,要去哪裡? 630 00:36:14,882 --> 00:36:16,383 我就亂開 631 00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:18,802 開到我家,去我家 632 00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:21,179 誰要去你家,我要回家 633 00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:24,266 不行,我要知道妳平安 634 00:36:24,266 --> 00:36:28,270 就像阿安想知道你平安 635 00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:29,521 這樣好了 636 00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:32,441 我很清楚妳在幹麼 637 00:36:32,441 --> 00:36:35,944 妳想讓我反省 638 00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,655 自己是怎樣的人,就是這樣 639 00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:40,240 休想 640 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,577 我接受自己是怎樣的人,我很滿意 641 00:36:45,996 --> 00:36:48,498 沒用,再按一次 642 00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:51,043 –密碼有沒有按錯? –是你的生日 643 00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,252 怎麼可能忘記 644 00:36:52,252 --> 00:36:55,172 我刺在大腿內側,每天都會擦 645 00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:58,508 看到沒?老是搞這種烏龍事 646 00:36:58,508 --> 00:37:00,260 –還是沒用 –等等 647 00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:03,597 說不定幕後操縱的人改掉大門密碼 648 00:37:03,597 --> 00:37:05,223 等等,他們以為我死了 649 00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:09,019 –這對我們有利 –搞不好 650 00:37:09,019 --> 00:37:10,896 有...靠 651 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:13,023 喬丹,有警衛,躲到後面 652 00:37:13,023 --> 00:37:14,733 要閃嗎?要不要? 653 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:17,152 –不要,等等 –凱文,我要走人 654 00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:18,487 不用走,住嘴 655 00:37:18,487 --> 00:37:20,697 –你確定?他不喜歡我 –留在車上 656 00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:22,032 –先生 –怎麼了? 657 00:37:22,032 --> 00:37:23,617 你好嗎?幸會 658 00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:28,163 –知不知道這是私人住宅? –不知道 659 00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:31,500 –請你離開,謝謝 –沒問題 660 00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,543 –不要離開 –我想到了 661 00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:37,756 不是,我老闆住在裡面 662 00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,133 我進去一下子就好 663 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:42,928 馬上離開,就沒人被電到吱吱叫 664 00:37:42,928 --> 00:37:45,138 當然,不用麻煩 665 00:37:45,138 --> 00:37:48,058 不准離開 666 00:37:48,058 --> 00:37:50,060 –你敢試試看 –我不要離開 667 00:37:50,060 --> 00:37:51,728 不要惹我 668 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,232 –他在唬你 –你在唬人 669 00:37:55,232 --> 00:37:57,192 我沒在唬人 670 00:37:58,777 --> 00:38:01,029 唬得那麼明顯,嗆爆他 671 00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:03,281 幹,你滿嘴... 672 00:38:07,536 --> 00:38:08,954 哈特先生問候你 673 00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:12,249 我沒叫他電人 674 00:38:12,249 --> 00:38:13,500 –阿安 –他沒事吧? 675 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,043 阿安... 676 00:38:20,841 --> 00:38:23,218 阿安,換我們來開好了 677 00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:26,555 不用擔心,我可以 678 00:38:26,555 --> 00:38:29,891 該死,脖子拐到好痛 679 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,853 趕快去找妮娜幫我按兩下 680 00:38:32,853 --> 00:38:33,895 妮娜是誰? 681 00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:35,814 –全職按摩師 –功力超好 682 00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:37,899 當然 683 00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:40,652 我的人生毀了,妳還說風涼話 684 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:43,947 –都是你自找的? –哪是啊 685 00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:46,408 我沒有,我是要拍片 686 00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:49,453 差很大,拍片有攝影機、收音、燈光 687 00:38:49,453 --> 00:38:53,248 這跟拍片完全不一樣 688 00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:56,752 –要去報警 –不用勞師動眾 689 00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:59,463 這個人以為我們死了 690 00:38:59,463 --> 00:39:02,007 我們將計就計 691 00:39:02,007 --> 00:39:04,342 讓他以為我們不存在 692 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,511 人間蒸發,只要弄清楚躲去哪 693 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:10,098 有娜塔莎在就好了,她知道怎麼做 694 00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:11,349 娜塔莎又是誰? 695 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,643 –她處理我的民宿事務 –民宿顧問 696 00:39:14,561 --> 00:39:15,812 越來越扯 697 00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:19,566 我想到一個地方,沒人找得到 698 00:39:20,442 --> 00:39:23,278 誰要來? 699 00:39:24,321 --> 00:39:26,114 就當自己家 700 00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:29,159 要不要喝東西?康普茶、咖啡、茶? 701 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:31,244 我要喝康普茶 702 00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:34,331 被妳抓包了,我沒康普茶,抱歉 703 00:39:34,331 --> 00:39:36,541 –開水就好 –開水 704 00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,418 太好了,要喝開水嗎? 705 00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,295 我不會用你的杯子喝水 706 00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:42,464 –很好 –天啊 707 00:39:43,673 --> 00:39:45,592 –你住這裡? –對 708 00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:48,053 –我的一小片天堂 –好噁 709 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:50,263 –什麼? –我說好噁 710 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:53,975 –我喜歡,其實很可愛 –謝謝 711 00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:56,311 我跟我媽很愛換花樣 712 00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:58,814 之前是走西南部風 713 00:39:58,814 --> 00:40:00,607 整間都是青綠色 714 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:05,445 –你媽幫你布置? –超幫忙,她是我室友 715 00:40:06,863 --> 00:40:09,074 –她就在那邊 –嚇我一跳 716 00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,827 不要怕,看好,要跟她聊天嗎? 717 00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:14,454 –不要吵她 –媽,還好嗎? 718 00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,790 –妳睡到嘴開開 –真是的 719 00:40:18,542 --> 00:40:20,794 –天啊 –不要撲過來 720 00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:23,463 –稀客 –奶罩喬好 721 00:40:23,463 --> 00:40:27,551 是美國國寶凱文哈特 722 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,679 都是家人,不用這樣 723 00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:34,933 還有喬丹金,還是要叫妳阿薇? 724 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,229 演那個角色酬勞少得可憐 725 00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:40,564 叫我喬丹就好 726 00:40:40,564 --> 00:40:43,191 過來,阿姨抱一下 727 00:40:44,526 --> 00:40:47,028 你們要吃東西,我來弄一桌好菜 728 00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:48,405 阿安,去冰箱 729 00:40:48,405 --> 00:40:50,365 把聖誕節的豬排拿出來解凍 730 00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:51,908 要吃聖誕節豬排? 731 00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:54,202 –不用 –我們等了六年 732 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:55,912 我們時間不多,不用麻煩 733 00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:59,040 肉不要浪費,留著以後吃 734 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,209 –你要吃我的肉 –媽,告訴他 735 00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:02,878 –不用 –你會口水直流 736 00:41:02,878 --> 00:41:05,338 –不要 –大家都說我的肉很夠味 737 00:41:05,338 --> 00:41:08,008 –你受傷了? –不是 738 00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:10,218 –你知道... –靠,女人不要亂摸 739 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,263 –你知道有流血嗎? –知道 740 00:41:13,263 --> 00:41:15,682 –上面也有? –不要摸 741 00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:19,686 凱文哈特不能穿沾血的衣服到處走 742 00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:22,189 你這麼厲害,快把上衣脫掉 743 00:41:22,189 --> 00:41:25,025 我要洗一洗,早上才洗完一堆血衣 744 00:41:25,025 --> 00:41:26,610 快脫掉 745 00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:28,612 –叫他脫掉 –脫掉,害什麼羞? 746 00:41:28,612 --> 00:41:30,989 有人的肚子很可愛 747 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:34,034 –太多了 –媽,妳看 748 00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:36,369 記得我跟妳說過他的肚臍嗎? 749 00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:39,748 –趁機啵一個 –讓我...拜託 750 00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,750 讓我脫下來,拜託不要拍我 751 00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:43,210 –好過癮 –謝謝 752 00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:45,378 沒看過這麼扯的事 753 00:41:45,378 --> 00:41:50,008 太吸睛了,這就是男人味 754 00:41:50,008 --> 00:41:53,386 –我們在拍... –他居然來我們家 755 00:41:53,386 --> 00:41:56,973 臨場動作片,各種動作... 756 00:41:58,225 --> 00:42:01,478 –他們是好人 –好人?誰啊? 757 00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:04,481 你好壞,怎麼能對他這麼壞?看看他 758 00:42:04,481 --> 00:42:08,985 我沒遇過像他這麼貼心的好人 759 00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:10,528 你怎麼能炒他? 760 00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:12,656 從頭說嗎? 761 00:42:12,656 --> 00:42:14,658 他做事沒分寸 762 00:42:15,575 --> 00:42:16,826 他關心你 763 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:21,122 不要說了,他有次幫我剪腳趾甲 764 00:42:22,374 --> 00:42:23,583 我躺在床上 765 00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:25,877 旁邊還有女人 766 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:28,088 –沒錯 –好 767 00:42:28,088 --> 00:42:31,675 幹得很吃力,腦袋想很多 768 00:42:31,675 --> 00:42:33,134 拚命亂想 769 00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:35,262 –不... –黑肉棒充血到極點 770 00:42:35,262 --> 00:42:37,889 –不用說 –瞬間倒縮,隨便妳說 771 00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,933 結果低頭看到他抬頭看我 772 00:42:39,933 --> 00:42:43,478 –害我射不出來 –謝謝你說那麼清楚 773 00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,647 這樣妳才有畫面 774 00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:50,610 我能到片場演戲 775 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:55,782 都是經紀人、正音老師、助理 776 00:42:55,782 --> 00:42:58,410 私人教練、髮型師 777 00:42:58,410 --> 00:43:00,495 化妝師幫我 778 00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:04,291 還有親朋好友支持我 779 00:43:04,291 --> 00:43:05,792 為我犧牲 780 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:09,212 聽不懂妳在說什麼,感覺像廢話 781 00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:12,716 凱文,也有很多人幫你 782 00:43:12,716 --> 00:43:15,176 –你才能成為明星 –才怪 783 00:43:15,176 --> 00:43:17,971 我是靠這雙手打出一片天 784 00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:22,684 你要這樣說也可以 785 00:43:22,684 --> 00:43:24,311 不要怪我沒說 786 00:43:24,311 --> 00:43:25,437 好 787 00:43:25,937 --> 00:43:28,481 –在聊什麼? –沒什麼 788 00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:32,277 現在豬排有濃濃的蝦味,超香 789 00:43:32,277 --> 00:43:34,863 上衣拿來了,鐵定合身 790 00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:35,947 凱文哈特 791 00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,657 –看到沒? –不錯 792 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,659 –我自己縫的 –好 793 00:43:40,577 --> 00:43:41,786 謝啦 794 00:43:43,204 --> 00:43:46,291 我剛沒機會問你 795 00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,959 那是誰? 796 00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:48,877 –這個? –對 797 00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:51,671 是我爸,他走很久了 798 00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:54,591 –真的? –對 799 00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:55,717 我也是 800 00:43:56,468 --> 00:43:58,303 –我媽養大我 –我知道 801 00:43:59,679 --> 00:44:03,224 你爸想到要養小孩就怕到落跑? 802 00:44:04,017 --> 00:44:08,646 不是,他人很善良 803 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:11,066 他是李察普瑞爾的助理 804 00:44:11,775 --> 00:44:13,193 你爸是李察... 805 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:16,446 可以說當助理是家族遺傳 806 00:44:16,446 --> 00:44:18,698 –真是傳奇人物 –是不是? 807 00:44:18,698 --> 00:44:20,158 –好厲害 –厲害吧 808 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:23,161 –結果害死他 –什麼意思? 809 00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:27,457 有瘋狂歌迷鑽過大秀的安檢 810 00:44:28,124 --> 00:44:32,545 我爸用肉身幫李察普瑞爾擋刀 811 00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,631 –不要開玩笑 –沒有 812 00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:37,467 他被刺到肚破腸流 813 00:44:37,467 --> 00:44:39,010 –什麼? –我爸當場斷氣 814 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:42,764 夭壽,實在想不通 815 00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:44,974 我也是,我們全家都很震驚 816 00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:47,227 怎麼有人想殺李察普瑞爾? 817 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:55,819 –誰? –怎麼會?太扯了 818 00:44:55,819 --> 00:44:59,239 我爸要斷氣前一定有抬頭 819 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,282 問他幹麼要殺人之類的 820 00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:03,326 –一定是 –搞不好沒有 821 00:45:03,326 --> 00:45:06,246 當時重要的是有人想殺李察 822 00:45:06,246 --> 00:45:07,664 我爸早斷氣了 823 00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:10,500 要想的是這個人是誰?有沒有同夥? 824 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:13,169 那是助理的事,人生不能重來 825 00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:15,046 我想也沒辦法 826 00:45:15,046 --> 00:45:17,882 我看過很多醫生,想走出來 827 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:21,177 我能做什麼?用我小小的身體擋刀 828 00:45:21,177 --> 00:45:22,762 –對 –對 829 00:45:23,638 --> 00:45:27,434 往好處想,他死前在做他最愛的事 830 00:45:27,434 --> 00:45:28,935 當助理 831 00:45:28,935 --> 00:45:31,604 他很高興自己帶給人歡樂 832 00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:35,275 那個人又帶給很多人歡樂 833 00:45:35,275 --> 00:45:37,026 我知道的事都是他教的 834 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:41,656 那個... 835 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,826 我不是真的要炒你 836 00:45:45,577 --> 00:45:47,662 我記得你說 837 00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:51,749 “我不需要替身,更不需要助理” 838 00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:56,087 你臭罵我,然後叫我下車 839 00:45:56,838 --> 00:45:58,756 你記性真好 840 00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:03,261 現在回頭想想,說不定我需要 841 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:06,848 我還需要助理 842 00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:09,017 要是你...媽呀 843 00:46:09,017 --> 00:46:10,101 好了 844 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:12,270 我也需要你 845 00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,939 –不一樣 –我也需要你 846 00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:17,942 –幹 –好 847 00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:19,360 我沒這麼硬過 848 00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:23,490 我要跟我媽說,媽,包準妳不信 849 00:46:23,490 --> 00:46:25,074 恭喜 850 00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:29,078 真是奇葩 851 00:46:35,043 --> 00:46:36,461 –我為你驕傲 –閉嘴 852 00:46:38,588 --> 00:46:41,424 你像這樣尊重身邊的人 853 00:46:41,424 --> 00:46:44,302 人生就會很快樂 854 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:47,222 妳好怪 855 00:46:47,222 --> 00:46:48,973 把我說得這麼壞 856 00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:51,434 說出一個我不尊重的人 857 00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:54,187 說一個就好 858 00:46:55,939 --> 00:46:57,899 我能說出一個人 859 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:01,986 一年前 860 00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:03,613 –喬丹 –你好 861 00:47:03,613 --> 00:47:06,157 我看通告單沒看到妳的替身 862 00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:08,785 –我叫她回家 –為什麼? 863 00:47:08,785 --> 00:47:11,162 機車我從小騎到大,今天特技很簡單 864 00:47:11,162 --> 00:47:13,957 乾洗店爆炸前,我要騎車衝破玻璃 865 00:47:13,957 --> 00:47:15,166 等等 866 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,586 誰說簡單?妳說簡單嗎? 867 00:47:19,254 --> 00:47:21,005 反正你有道格 868 00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:23,258 特技妳自己來,我找替身 869 00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:24,467 那樣能看嗎? 870 00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:28,429 –大家會怎麼想我? –你是演員? 871 00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:30,181 我又不是跳崖 872 00:47:30,181 --> 00:47:32,350 不是跳機,也不是跟鱷魚搏鬥 873 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:35,770 妳看扁我,以為我不夠強是不是? 874 00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:38,815 不是,特技是道格的工作 875 00:47:38,815 --> 00:47:40,191 我需要道格? 876 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:41,901 沒錯 877 00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,027 才不是 878 00:47:43,903 --> 00:47:45,405 我不需要道格 879 00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:48,533 被他聽到了 880 00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:53,204 道格 881 00:47:54,706 --> 00:47:55,915 我去跟道格聊聊 882 00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:58,501 凱文 883 00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:00,670 原來是你 884 00:48:01,170 --> 00:48:02,505 我的替身 885 00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,136 說出來怕你不信 886 00:48:08,136 --> 00:48:11,180 喬丹剛跟我說她叫她的替身回家 887 00:48:11,180 --> 00:48:14,183 你很清楚她想幹麼 888 00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:16,436 她想讓我丟臉,我這個人激不得 889 00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:19,105 激不得,我是凱文哈特 890 00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:25,111 事情是這樣,聊聊我們好了 891 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:28,323 我跟你合作最愉快,你跟我多久了? 892 00:48:28,323 --> 00:48:31,242 有那麼久,跟我好久了 893 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:34,329 我知道你很行,你該去外面闖闖 894 00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:38,082 也就是說,你不用來了 895 00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:41,794 我要炒你魷魚,這樣說對嗎? 896 00:48:41,794 --> 00:48:46,299 應該沒錯,好聚好散的炒法 897 00:48:46,299 --> 00:48:47,967 以後還是朋友 898 00:48:47,967 --> 00:48:50,219 我要去準備 899 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:52,513 我的替身 900 00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:54,182 –凱文 –來做特技 901 00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:57,226 –這樣炒人很沒品 –來做特技 902 00:48:57,226 --> 00:48:59,562 我沒要讓你丟臉 903 00:48:59,562 --> 00:49:01,648 喬丹,夠了 904 00:49:01,648 --> 00:49:05,068 動作明星先生,沒關係 905 00:49:09,739 --> 00:49:12,033 給我聽好 906 00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:15,411 我在這行多久了? 907 00:49:15,411 --> 00:49:16,746 多久? 908 00:49:16,746 --> 00:49:21,501 你說我的名聲沒說服力? 909 00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:23,127 才怪 910 00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:27,006 《美國隊長4》什麼時候拍? 911 00:49:27,006 --> 00:49:28,508 麥基有替身嗎? 912 00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:30,593 他有 913 00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:32,470 大家都有替身 914 00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:34,764 亞當崔佛呢?你說他有空 915 00:49:35,682 --> 00:49:38,142 我能替他工作 916 00:49:38,142 --> 00:49:41,020 當亞當的司機 917 00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:43,314 聽好,我是說真的 918 00:49:43,314 --> 00:49:45,775 我不介意當司機 919 00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:49,612 當亞當的司機也可以 920 00:49:49,612 --> 00:49:52,782 史考特,該死,媽的 921 00:49:52,782 --> 00:49:56,035 人家做這行好多年了 922 00:50:00,081 --> 00:50:01,082 好 923 00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,508 年度特技演員,道格尤班斯 924 00:50:32,989 --> 00:50:34,490 我很喜歡工作 925 00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:40,246 我很平靜快樂,創作靈感很多 926 00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:44,834 現在我的創作是讓其他人發光 927 00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:47,962 也擴展其他事業機會 928 00:50:47,962 --> 00:50:49,589 希望能繼續成長 929 00:50:51,174 --> 00:50:53,843 我的替身竟然這樣對我 930 00:50:53,843 --> 00:50:55,261 前替身 931 00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:57,138 我要想辦法解決這件事 932 00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:00,391 凱文 933 00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:02,769 媽看一下,等等 934 00:51:02,769 --> 00:51:06,689 要換藥,帶他到房間,給他靠東西 935 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,483 –來 –拿幾條濕毛巾 936 00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:10,485 不用送他去醫院嗎? 937 00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:13,154 不用,我會讓他康復,我很會 938 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,283 –等等,妳是醫生? –比醫生更厲害 939 00:51:17,784 --> 00:51:18,993 我是媽媽 940 00:51:19,869 --> 00:51:21,412 左右左右 941 00:51:23,873 --> 00:51:26,375 他不會有事,我媽很厲害 942 00:51:27,168 --> 00:51:28,753 妳呢?還好嗎? 943 00:51:28,753 --> 00:51:31,923 不太好,我也算幫凶 944 00:51:31,923 --> 00:51:34,217 道格大概怪我害他被炒 945 00:51:34,717 --> 00:51:38,471 才把我抓來他的殺人小遊戲 想報復我 946 00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:40,640 沒關係 947 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,851 凱文康復就會想出完美計畫 948 00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:45,853 不行,不能坐在這裡 949 00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,231 要弄清楚真相 950 00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:51,234 –凱文最信任的人是誰? –經紀人 951 00:51:51,234 --> 00:51:52,944 –真的? –對 952 00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:57,323 –去找他 –現在?現在不行 953 00:51:58,074 --> 00:51:59,659 喬丹,現在不方便 954 00:51:59,659 --> 00:52:02,036 這樣呢?喬丹,妳是名人 955 00:52:02,036 --> 00:52:04,539 進去被認出來會有問題 956 00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:07,750 再來,道格以為妳死了 957 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:10,503 –被炸死 –沒錯 958 00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:14,715 我剛想到了,謝謝我 959 00:52:15,758 --> 00:52:16,926 先說來聽聽 960 00:52:16,926 --> 00:52:19,929 聰明,這招高明,後面有變裝東西 961 00:52:19,929 --> 00:52:22,890 我都有多準備一套,快把袋子拿來 962 00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:25,434 –多準備一套? –對 963 00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:28,855 凱文有時候不喜歡被認出來 964 00:52:28,855 --> 00:52:33,401 不管想去買菜,餵鴨子,騷擾陌生人 965 00:52:37,989 --> 00:52:39,323 送我都不要穿 966 00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,409 有都看過一遍嗎? 967 00:52:41,409 --> 00:52:44,161 –像這邊這套 –阿安,看路 968 00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:47,164 我在看,妳看我用膝蓋急左轉 969 00:52:54,922 --> 00:52:56,549 好丟臉 970 00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,553 好在凱文的衣服妳能穿,懂嗎? 971 00:53:00,553 --> 00:53:03,097 就想這是妳演過最大的角色 972 00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:06,183 妳可以的 973 00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:09,770 聯合經紀公司 974 00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:14,775 {\an8}我們要找史考特赫曼 975 00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:16,611 {\an8}好的 976 00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,156 你們是? 977 00:53:21,032 --> 00:53:23,826 羅納蒙多維亞三世 978 00:53:23,826 --> 00:53:25,953 幸會 979 00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,955 這位是大鬼才... 980 00:53:29,957 --> 00:53:31,792 比爾,我叫比爾 981 00:53:33,711 --> 00:53:34,962 比爾蒙多維亞 982 00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:36,672 我們都姓蒙多維亞 983 00:53:36,672 --> 00:53:37,882 他是我舅舅 984 00:53:37,882 --> 00:53:39,425 我媽媽那邊的 985 00:53:40,426 --> 00:53:43,137 我舅舅超會做菜 986 00:53:47,308 --> 00:53:50,478 剛是怎樣?誰會叫蒙多維亞 987 00:53:50,478 --> 00:53:52,855 妳還想怎樣?我沒辦法專心 988 00:53:52,855 --> 00:53:54,649 妳的口音有夠假 989 00:53:54,649 --> 00:53:56,192 –我的口音? –對 990 00:53:57,860 --> 00:53:59,737 我承認很假 991 00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:02,198 –我的口音超像 –算了 992 00:54:02,198 --> 00:54:05,409 我們不可能見到凱文的經紀人 993 00:54:05,409 --> 00:54:06,994 他們搞不好叫警衛 994 00:54:06,994 --> 00:54:11,082 警衛要是來 就裝成羅納和比爾蒙多維亞 995 00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:14,877 專拍開箱影片的有名IG網紅 996 00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:17,338 就是開箱新貨,裡面有小箱子 997 00:54:17,338 --> 00:54:19,715 –好嗎? –你看,她去洗手間 998 00:54:20,383 --> 00:54:23,427 比爾不會那樣說,他比較老粗 999 00:54:23,427 --> 00:54:25,554 他會說她去大便 1000 00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:29,475 淡定 1001 00:54:30,309 --> 00:54:32,228 請按讚訂閱 1002 00:54:35,690 --> 00:54:37,316 停一下,看到了 1003 00:54:37,316 --> 00:54:40,569 –凱文的經紀人在前面 –他在跟誰說話? 1004 00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:46,242 不是凱文 1005 00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,458 不要亂動 1006 00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:57,503 凱文哈特先生需要恢復體力 1007 00:54:58,629 --> 00:55:01,716 你會留下來到康復 1008 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:06,846 在我家,聽我的故事 1009 00:55:08,055 --> 00:55:10,474 吃我的聖誕節豬排 1010 00:55:16,105 --> 00:55:20,276 幾年前我老公受傷,我救不了他 1011 00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:23,446 現在老天再給我機會 1012 00:55:24,238 --> 00:55:27,575 美國國寶凱文哈特 1013 00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:31,162 辛西亞的寶貝 1014 00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:36,167 喂? 1015 00:55:36,167 --> 00:55:37,835 媽,叫凱文聽 1016 00:55:37,835 --> 00:55:39,211 沒辦法,他在睡覺 1017 00:55:39,211 --> 00:55:40,379 有急事 1018 00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,840 媽,趕快叫他聽,叫醒他 1019 00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:44,508 喂? 1020 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:47,511 你是來救我嗎?我被人下毒 1021 00:55:47,511 --> 00:55:49,221 凱文,仔細聽清楚 1022 00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:52,224 我們剛結束偵察任務,超厲害 1023 00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:54,060 道格是你,你被道格取代了 1024 00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:56,896 等等,什麼取代?我聽不懂 1025 00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:59,940 是我媽剛幫你打一點麻醉藥 1026 00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:01,817 放心,等你清醒過來 1027 00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:05,446 就要知道道格想讓大家相信他是你 1028 00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:07,740 他矯正暴牙,也換髮型 1029 00:56:07,740 --> 00:56:10,993 他的舉手投足,簡直就是你 1030 00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:13,871 我的員工沒那麼好騙 1031 00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:15,498 他們知道不是我 1032 00:56:15,498 --> 00:56:17,083 他們是我的心腹團 1033 00:56:17,083 --> 00:56:18,751 凱文... 1034 00:56:18,751 --> 00:56:22,463 你加薪... 1035 00:56:22,463 --> 00:56:26,383 你加薪,大家都加薪 1036 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:28,636 誰叫我是凱文 1037 00:56:28,636 --> 00:56:29,929 我是凱文 1038 00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:33,974 抱歉,凱文突然很累,要休息,再見 1039 00:56:33,974 --> 00:56:35,976 –不要 –媽,不要掛 1040 00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:45,486 凱文想見到道格,只能透過一個人 1041 00:56:46,237 --> 00:56:47,613 206哥 1042 00:56:48,364 --> 00:56:50,241 這位206哥是誰? 1043 00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:53,369 他是很有名的替身,道格是他徒弟 1044 00:56:53,369 --> 00:56:55,788 那就簡單了 1045 00:56:55,788 --> 00:56:58,165 我們就帶凱文去找206哥 1046 00:56:58,165 --> 00:57:02,670 休想,打死我都不去找206 1047 00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:04,588 他是神經病 1048 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:07,591 有次排練差點害死我,還要我道歉 1049 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:09,468 喬丹,凱文需要妳 1050 00:57:09,468 --> 00:57:10,970 –他需要我? –現在很需要 1051 00:57:10,970 --> 00:57:14,265 凱文不是不需要人,現在又需要了 1052 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,475 算了 1053 00:57:17,309 --> 00:57:20,396 –我帶他去找206哥 –幹麼?這是凱文的問題 1054 00:57:20,396 --> 00:57:23,107 –他自己去就好 –不行 1055 00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:27,820 我是凱文的助理,絕不會讓他開車 1056 00:57:31,115 --> 00:57:33,659 –是空檔 –很抱歉,難怪變慢 1057 00:57:33,659 --> 00:57:36,328 我想開快點,反而更慢 1058 00:57:49,425 --> 00:57:52,428 好在有我媽的細心照顧讓你康復 1059 00:57:52,428 --> 00:57:53,888 你剛說什麼? 1060 00:57:53,888 --> 00:57:56,265 那個女人在豬排下藥 1061 00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:59,143 –她想毒死我 –她很厲害 1062 00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:01,770 看看你,快點 1063 00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:03,856 告訴我,為什麼叫他206? 1064 00:58:03,856 --> 00:58:06,150 人體有206塊骨頭 1065 00:58:06,150 --> 00:58:09,236 他當特技指導前,每塊骨頭都斷過 1066 00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:10,946 應該是205塊 1067 00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:13,699 聽說拍攝最後一天折斷第206塊 1068 00:58:13,699 --> 00:58:17,286 –什麼?是哪塊? –右腳小趾應聲折斷 1069 00:58:17,286 --> 00:58:18,871 –好猛 –對 1070 00:58:23,626 --> 00:58:24,710 有人嗎? 1071 00:58:26,295 --> 00:58:27,671 206? 1072 00:58:28,547 --> 00:58:30,841 206哥? 1073 00:58:30,841 --> 00:58:32,301 –哥什麼哥,是206 –好 1074 00:58:33,344 --> 00:58:35,971 牌子寫謝絕推銷,滾 1075 00:58:35,971 --> 00:58:38,974 沒看到牌子,外面沒牌子 1076 00:58:38,974 --> 00:58:41,143 –誰拿走我的牌子? –不是我們 1077 00:58:41,143 --> 00:58:43,354 不管怎樣,我們不是來推銷 1078 00:58:43,354 --> 00:58:45,564 不會叫你買東西 1079 00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:47,816 連我的聲音都認不出 1080 00:58:47,816 --> 00:58:49,735 知道門口這個人是誰嗎? 1081 00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:53,197 我是喜劇演員凱文哈特 1082 00:58:53,197 --> 00:58:54,782 我剛說了 1083 00:58:56,951 --> 00:59:01,288 快滾 1084 00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:02,998 好,靠 1085 00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:04,959 是我 1086 00:59:05,834 --> 00:59:08,170 –是我 –是凱文哈特 1087 00:59:10,422 --> 00:59:13,050 給我一個不殺你們的好理由 1088 00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,386 凱文的下部片會拿奧斯卡獎 1089 00:59:15,386 --> 00:59:17,763 等等,你的徒弟 1090 00:59:17,763 --> 00:59:20,808 –道格尤班斯很有事 –他怎樣? 1091 00:59:20,808 --> 00:59:23,936 他走火入魔了 1092 00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:26,021 他整個... 1093 00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:29,066 不對,不應該騙你 1094 00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:31,777 我不是來騙你,我說實話 1095 00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:36,865 我炒過他,我想解決這件事 1096 00:59:36,865 --> 00:59:39,952 206哥,沒你我辦不到 1097 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,253 你的茶要加什麼? 1098 00:59:50,796 --> 00:59:55,259 偉大的替身背後是平庸的演員 1099 01:00:05,436 --> 01:00:06,937 我讓你們不舒服嗎? 1100 01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:08,939 我只是替你緊張 1101 01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:13,027 你的熱茶就在蛋蛋上面 1102 01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:16,238 你要幹麼? 1103 01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:20,075 什麼東西? 1104 01:00:20,075 --> 01:00:21,577 –拜託 –現在是怎樣? 1105 01:00:21,577 --> 01:00:22,578 不要這樣 1106 01:00:22,578 --> 01:00:26,290 古巴比倫人相信穿內褲是懦弱的表現 1107 01:00:28,709 --> 01:00:29,960 我認同 1108 01:00:31,128 --> 01:00:32,212 我尊重你 1109 01:00:33,756 --> 01:00:34,923 尊重你 1110 01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:37,009 我... 1111 01:00:41,597 --> 01:00:45,809 想謝謝你抽出時間,我知道你很忙 1112 01:00:45,809 --> 01:00:47,853 廢話少說,快說來找我幹麼 1113 01:00:47,853 --> 01:00:50,939 我知道道格是你徒弟 1114 01:00:52,066 --> 01:00:53,400 對不對? 1115 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,195 只有你抓得到他的動作和邏輯 1116 01:00:57,613 --> 01:00:58,614 我需要你幫我 1117 01:01:05,079 --> 01:01:06,413 不要看到髒東西 1118 01:01:11,085 --> 01:01:12,211 陪我散散步 1119 01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:17,341 道格尤班斯不只是我以前的學生 1120 01:01:18,050 --> 01:01:20,803 他是我的朋友,我的閨密 1121 01:01:21,970 --> 01:01:23,889 2003年我們短暫交往過 1122 01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:28,435 道格是我訓練過最大膽的特技演員 1123 01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:31,647 他有次叫我拿冰錐捅他 1124 01:01:31,647 --> 01:01:34,900 他要知道那種痛才演得出來 1125 01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:36,819 –你有捅嗎? –當然有 1126 01:01:37,611 --> 01:01:39,238 替身不能怕痛 1127 01:01:39,822 --> 01:01:42,449 每天在片場為演員出生入死 1128 01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:44,910 偶爾演員會謝謝你 1129 01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:47,746 有時連一句謝謝都沒有 1130 01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:51,625 有時還炒你魷魚,自以為是藍波 1131 01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,169 結果只是愛面子的小賤貨 1132 01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:56,380 你要幫我跟他說嗎? 1133 01:01:58,340 --> 01:01:59,425 說話是演員的事 1134 01:02:00,426 --> 01:02:02,761 替身只做動作 1135 01:02:04,263 --> 01:02:05,889 你要跟道格決鬥 1136 01:02:06,974 --> 01:02:08,100 你會輸 1137 01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:12,187 靠,那說那麼多幹麼? 1138 01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:13,522 我好心跟你說 1139 01:02:13,522 --> 01:02:16,525 每個人都困在自己的故事裡 1140 01:02:16,525 --> 01:02:19,987 –我知道你的故事 –是復仇故事 1141 01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:24,908 –不是復仇,是贖罪 –我很確定是復仇 1142 01:02:26,577 --> 01:02:27,911 你到底要什麼? 1143 01:02:29,788 --> 01:02:31,665 我要找回自己的人生,打敗道格 1144 01:02:31,665 --> 01:02:33,959 打敗道格,道格是敵人嗎? 1145 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:37,921 道格是壞人?你是好人? 我有沒有聽錯 1146 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:39,631 我們都是壞人 1147 01:02:40,841 --> 01:02:41,884 凱文,不是 1148 01:02:44,094 --> 01:02:45,345 你們都是好人 1149 01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:53,312 –有沒有聽到? –讓我想一下 1150 01:02:55,814 --> 01:02:58,817 –他幹過道格 –我沒聽到,什麼? 1151 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,654 –他幹過道格 –我沒聽到 1152 01:03:02,654 --> 01:03:06,408 –就在前面,他自己說的 –哪有,我看到瓢蟲 1153 01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:10,078 –他以前也算幹過你 –等一下,他沒有 1154 01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:15,876 這是我的道場 1155 01:03:18,212 --> 01:03:21,548 看樣子只有一堆樹,沒關係 1156 01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:23,175 天啊 1157 01:03:23,175 --> 01:03:25,385 –不好意思 –抱歉 1158 01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:26,512 –借過 –好 1159 01:03:26,512 --> 01:03:28,222 –借我過 –抱歉 1160 01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:30,057 不要擋路 1161 01:03:30,057 --> 01:03:32,643 是我們不對,不知道有步道 1162 01:03:32,643 --> 01:03:33,644 我不知道 1163 01:03:35,479 --> 01:03:38,190 你要在這裡訓練我跟道格決鬥? 1164 01:03:38,190 --> 01:03:40,150 跟你說明一下 1165 01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:42,819 替身教條,當你的演員 1166 01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:46,240 你訓練的每個角色,道格加倍訓練 1167 01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,159 你要學的每個動作,道格學得紮實 1168 01:03:49,159 --> 01:03:53,914 一定要紮實,開拍時拿命去拚的是他 1169 01:03:53,914 --> 01:03:57,960 有人坐在監看區喝拿鐵,吃裸女壽司 1170 01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:00,420 先說一下,我得結膜炎超慘 1171 01:04:00,420 --> 01:04:03,048 我學到教訓,到現在都沒再吃 1172 01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:04,841 你沒珍惜過道格 1173 01:04:05,676 --> 01:04:06,677 演員都這樣 1174 01:04:08,303 --> 01:04:11,848 我最近發現自己不珍惜很多人 1175 01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:14,184 凱文,很好 1176 01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:16,103 有成長 1177 01:04:17,396 --> 01:04:18,564 看到上面那根樹枝沒? 1178 01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:20,107 看到了 1179 01:04:20,107 --> 01:04:23,360 爬到那根樹枝,再摔下來 1180 01:04:25,654 --> 01:04:28,740 我要怎麼... 1181 01:04:28,740 --> 01:04:31,451 你想摸透道格的邏輯和動作 1182 01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:36,206 就要從他的視角看,拋開恐懼和猶豫 1183 01:04:39,459 --> 01:04:42,462 我就直說了,我有點害怕 1184 01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:44,590 –不是我... –我願意替他摔 1185 01:04:44,590 --> 01:04:45,757 夠義氣 1186 01:04:47,175 --> 01:04:49,344 這是凱文的事,樹枝是他要摔 1187 01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:51,179 你不懂 1188 01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:53,015 –凱文的事就是我的事 –這個... 1189 01:04:53,015 --> 01:04:54,933 –錢不算 –不算 1190 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:56,184 –收入不算 –不算 1191 01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:57,519 –成功不算 –不算 1192 01:04:57,519 --> 01:04:59,855 –超讚的珍貴車也不算 –不算 1193 01:04:59,855 --> 01:05:03,442 他的痛苦和煩惱都算 1194 01:05:03,442 --> 01:05:07,487 不好的事也算我的事 1195 01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:12,701 那好吧 1196 01:05:17,456 --> 01:05:18,540 天啊 1197 01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:22,919 你們在幹麼? 1198 01:05:22,919 --> 01:05:25,797 從後面看不太好看,怎麼了? 1199 01:05:38,060 --> 01:05:39,811 凱文,你沒辦法跟道格決鬥 1200 01:05:40,729 --> 01:05:44,066 不過你有一樣他絕不會有的東西 1201 01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:46,860 你有跟班 1202 01:05:47,653 --> 01:05:48,820 阿安? 1203 01:05:48,820 --> 01:05:51,948 阿安是我的...要怎麼說 1204 01:05:51,948 --> 01:05:53,575 –我只是... –他... 1205 01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:55,243 –不要說 –我是他助理 1206 01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:58,246 不要說,阿安是你的什麼? 1207 01:05:58,246 --> 01:06:00,415 –說出來 –給他說 1208 01:06:00,415 --> 01:06:02,668 –不要管他,阿安是你的什麼? –你... 1209 01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:06,713 –他是你的什麼? –他是我助理 1210 01:06:08,340 --> 01:06:10,717 –說出來 –阿安是我的...他是我的跟班 1211 01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,761 –說出來 –阿安是我的跟班 1212 01:06:12,761 --> 01:06:14,137 –說出來 –他是我的跟班 1213 01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,597 –說大聲一點 –好 1214 01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:17,307 阿安是我的跟班 1215 01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,893 凱文,叫你大聲一點不會是不是 1216 01:06:19,893 --> 01:06:23,188 我要你用丹田之力說出來 1217 01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:26,191 阿安是我的跟班 1218 01:06:26,191 --> 01:06:28,777 我說阿安是我的跟班 1219 01:06:28,777 --> 01:06:29,986 誰是你的跟班? 1220 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:32,614 –我說阿安是我的跟班 –我是你的跟班 1221 01:06:32,614 --> 01:06:38,704 –阿安是我的跟... –我是你的跟班 1222 01:06:38,704 --> 01:06:40,163 我幹麼哭? 1223 01:06:40,831 --> 01:06:43,959 叫出來是好事,成長會痛 1224 01:06:45,377 --> 01:06:47,713 那種痛沒替身能代替你 1225 01:06:49,715 --> 01:06:51,717 凱文,你來這裡找師父 1226 01:06:53,802 --> 01:06:57,097 師父就是你 1227 01:06:58,932 --> 01:06:59,850 對 1228 01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:08,066 你們好好聊一聊 1229 01:07:08,942 --> 01:07:10,235 聊聊你們的新關係 1230 01:07:11,903 --> 01:07:14,364 我去喝茶 1231 01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:19,327 今天超誇張 1232 01:07:20,579 --> 01:07:25,208 我是你的跟班,我有辦法對付道格 1233 01:07:25,208 --> 01:07:27,878 我們能合作,想辦法接近他 1234 01:07:27,878 --> 01:07:31,047 不用拍他什麼的,怎麼了? 1235 01:07:33,008 --> 01:07:35,177 –他手上的疤 –怎樣? 1236 01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,346 我認得那個疤 1237 01:07:42,434 --> 01:07:46,438 斧頭小木屋,2018年電影道具 1238 01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:17,302 我們沒買東西,請離開 1239 01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:21,306 大哥,我再半小時要跟嬌妻火辣約會 1240 01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:22,599 肉丸三明治之夜 1241 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:27,312 我只知道片商黛柏拉賽門有包裹給你 1242 01:08:27,312 --> 01:08:30,565 我能把包裹留下來,也能載回去 1243 01:08:30,565 --> 01:08:32,025 你要怎樣? 1244 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:35,946 進來 1245 01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:39,032 我想也是,待會見,進去 1246 01:08:41,243 --> 01:08:46,373 蒙多維亞水電行,我是羅納蒙多維亞 1247 01:08:46,373 --> 01:08:49,709 有照有保險,有人有照沒保險 1248 01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:53,755 有人有保險沒照,我有照有保險 1249 01:08:53,755 --> 01:08:57,342 –黛柏拉賽門叫水電工送包裹? –我不是一般的水電工 1250 01:08:57,342 --> 01:09:00,512 什麼都難不倒我,有時連管子都不用 1251 01:09:00,512 --> 01:09:02,389 有次我拿牛皮紙袋來用 1252 01:09:02,389 --> 01:09:05,016 水噴得到處都是,有夠誇張 1253 01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:06,560 –車上有什麼? –天啊 1254 01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:09,813 抓緊你的黑蛋蛋 1255 01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:13,483 大哥,這是馬桶 1256 01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:17,237 義大利進口大理石,外觀一體成形 1257 01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:19,948 12段速洗屁屁台,右邊有氣炸鍋 1258 01:09:19,948 --> 01:09:22,784 你能邊炸邊吃,邊吃邊拉 1259 01:09:22,784 --> 01:09:24,870 這種馬桶只出一兩台 1260 01:09:24,870 --> 01:09:29,958 可說是地表最強的禮物,麻煩你 1261 01:09:34,212 --> 01:09:35,213 你... 1262 01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:40,719 要不要幫我搬? 1263 01:09:40,719 --> 01:09:42,679 –算了,隨便 –好 1264 01:09:42,679 --> 01:09:46,391 我來帶路,抬起來,背要用力 1265 01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:50,186 大馬桶來了,借過一下 1266 01:09:50,186 --> 01:09:52,397 阿安引開警衛了 1267 01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,858 –好 –妳可以嗎? 1268 01:09:54,858 --> 01:09:57,360 我們家看到A咖演員有難 1269 01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,905 絕不會袖手旁觀 1270 01:09:59,905 --> 01:10:02,782 我們會拚到死 1271 01:10:05,118 --> 01:10:09,748 這個世界很缺這種人,妳姓什麼? 1272 01:10:09,748 --> 01:10:11,333 蒙多維亞 1273 01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:20,675 –這個東西要放哪? –問到重點了 1274 01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:22,385 這樣吧 1275 01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:25,680 能放廁所,當成七彩小馬那樣炫耀 1276 01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:30,352 也能放主浴室,自己獨享 1277 01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:35,357 還有第三個選項,聽好了,這個很扯 1278 01:10:35,357 --> 01:10:37,609 馬桶也能放這裡 1279 01:10:37,609 --> 01:10:40,028 就放在客廳中間 1280 01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:42,906 在這裡拉滿缸油屎 1281 01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:46,618 盯著大家看,讓他們看得一頭霧水 1282 01:10:46,618 --> 01:10:50,163 我知道你在想什麼,想說太囂張 1283 01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:53,041 –他們會把你當神 –等等,你有點面熟? 1284 01:10:53,041 --> 01:10:55,460 我有點面熟... 1285 01:10:57,545 --> 01:10:59,047 應該是這樣 1286 01:10:59,047 --> 01:11:00,924 是不是你在樓上拉硬屎塞到水管 1287 01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:03,218 害大家以為是小狗掉進水管? 1288 01:11:03,218 --> 01:11:06,513 我怎麼會拉硬屎,你在鬼扯什麼? 1289 01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:07,681 –不是你嗎? –不是 1290 01:11:07,681 --> 01:11:09,432 –不是嗎? –小狗掉進水管? 1291 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:11,434 是臘腸狗嗎?樣子滿像的 1292 01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:14,062 是那隻狗嗎? 1293 01:11:14,062 --> 01:11:17,232 –不要走,待會再處理你 –我不會走 1294 01:11:17,232 --> 01:11:19,359 你害我沒面子 1295 01:11:21,236 --> 01:11:24,864 凱文,還好嗎?一切都很順利 1296 01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:27,951 我很好,只是滿身大汗 1297 01:11:27,951 --> 01:11:30,286 夭壽,怎麼不挖幾個洞? 1298 01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:32,914 等我放你出來給他好看,怎麼樣? 1299 01:11:32,914 --> 01:11:34,958 –快點 –好 1300 01:11:46,011 --> 01:11:48,638 蒙多維亞 1301 01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:50,473 你在幹麼? 1302 01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:52,934 真好笑,說出來你會笑死 1303 01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:56,312 這個木箱我有點鑽太緊 1304 01:11:56,312 --> 01:11:58,857 沒工具很難開 1305 01:11:58,857 --> 01:12:02,485 等我一下,去拿工具馬上回來,再聊 1306 01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:06,031 阿安,最好不要玩了,說正經的 1307 01:12:07,741 --> 01:12:08,742 阿安 1308 01:12:18,043 --> 01:12:19,335 是煙火嗎? 1309 01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:22,380 我住隔壁的蒙多維亞莊園 1310 01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:25,592 是你放的嗎?放煙火是違法的 1311 01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:28,178 不是我們,不知道是誰放的 1312 01:12:28,178 --> 01:12:32,599 害人家嚇壞了,我有裝心律調節器 1313 01:12:32,599 --> 01:12:34,559 你還有什麼話好說? 1314 01:12:34,559 --> 01:12:37,937 太太,我說煙火不是我們的 我也沒拉硬屎 1315 01:12:37,937 --> 01:12:39,022 什麼? 1316 01:12:44,986 --> 01:12:46,321 誰叫你電阿安 1317 01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:53,828 阿安? 1318 01:12:55,121 --> 01:12:57,290 阿安,快點,沒跟你開玩笑 1319 01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,419 怎麼這麼久?你跑去哪? 1320 01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:05,131 不要把我丟在箱子,安靜得要命 1321 01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:08,718 什麼聲音? 1322 01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:12,889 阿安,是電鋸嗎? 1323 01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:14,682 阿安,等等 1324 01:13:17,477 --> 01:13:21,940 鋸慢一點 1325 01:13:21,940 --> 01:13:25,610 會鋸到我的頭,夭壽 1326 01:13:25,610 --> 01:13:29,280 不要再鋸了 1327 01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:32,659 不要再鋸,天啊 1328 01:13:33,243 --> 01:13:35,286 靠,阿安,搞屁啊? 1329 01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:38,665 糟了 1330 01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:43,503 很高興代表業界的特技演員說 1331 01:13:44,170 --> 01:13:46,923 今天是你的死期 1332 01:13:49,300 --> 01:13:50,468 等等 1333 01:13:51,511 --> 01:13:54,180 想告訴我特技傳奇大人物需要電鋸? 1334 01:13:58,935 --> 01:14:01,604 這樣才像話,有種來單挑 1335 01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:04,357 兩條狗搶一碗飯怎麼樣,肚子好餓 1336 01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:08,570 沒錯 1337 01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:09,779 你有刀 1338 01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,781 你這種老大哥 1339 01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:16,661 特技傳奇單挑小矮子需要用到刀? 1340 01:14:16,661 --> 01:14:19,873 –用手揍死你算了 –什麼? 1341 01:14:26,754 --> 01:14:30,133 那個爛走廊太窄,害你綁手綁腳 1342 01:14:30,133 --> 01:14:31,551 喬丹打爆你 1343 01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:37,348 我戴的面具不透氣,滿臉汗鹹到眼花 1344 01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:40,852 –小孩都打得過我 –還真會編藉口 1345 01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:41,936 超人拳 1346 01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:46,566 靠 1347 01:14:47,901 --> 01:14:49,402 好痛 1348 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:59,204 阿安,跟班快來救我 1349 01:14:59,204 --> 01:15:02,207 跟什麼班,都是我亂掰的 1350 01:15:02,207 --> 01:15:03,917 我會幫你? 1351 01:15:03,917 --> 01:15:07,503 我會幫貪婪又不懂得珍惜 1352 01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:09,797 被吹捧過頭的演員? 1353 01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:15,511 想說給你一點假希望再弄死你 1354 01:15:16,638 --> 01:15:18,890 靠,手快斷了 1355 01:15:18,890 --> 01:15:21,684 我會讓你全身206塊骨頭斷光 1356 01:15:21,684 --> 01:15:25,563 –再舔你菊花 –就知道你愛舔菊花 1357 01:15:32,654 --> 01:15:34,030 –刺你 –刀好可愛 1358 01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:37,325 你想怎樣?用那個捅我嗎? 1359 01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,036 不是我,是她 1360 01:15:43,665 --> 01:15:45,041 靠 1361 01:15:46,251 --> 01:15:48,461 妳的飛刀真準 1362 01:15:50,171 --> 01:15:51,214 天啊 1363 01:15:51,214 --> 01:15:54,592 大哥 1364 01:15:54,592 --> 01:15:55,927 看我,眼睛看我 1365 01:15:56,678 --> 01:15:57,679 你沒事 1366 01:15:58,471 --> 01:15:59,472 好渴 1367 01:16:00,098 --> 01:16:01,057 你說什麼? 1368 01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:02,392 好渴 1369 01:16:02,976 --> 01:16:04,435 拿東西給你喝 1370 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:08,856 妳丟飛刀刺中他的頭 1371 01:16:08,856 --> 01:16:11,734 我慌了,射肩膀射偏了 1372 01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:14,862 妳怎麼瞄準的?他塊頭那麼大 1373 01:16:14,862 --> 01:16:16,197 那麼大隻 1374 01:16:18,825 --> 01:16:22,912 他醒著是好現象,好在他沒事 1375 01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:26,207 –妳在說什麼?他沒事? –他是沒事 1376 01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:28,960 他是該死的殭屍,怎麼會沒事? 1377 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:30,503 他會燙傷自己 1378 01:16:31,337 --> 01:16:33,381 他的手會被燙到 1379 01:16:33,381 --> 01:16:35,383 燙傷對他就像被蚊子咬 1380 01:16:35,383 --> 01:16:37,135 –沒錯 –你好 1381 01:16:37,135 --> 01:16:39,095 –你好,是你啊 –你好 1382 01:16:39,095 --> 01:16:43,182 你好嗎?夭壽 1383 01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:45,476 –他剛... –還好 1384 01:16:45,476 --> 01:16:47,895 –他剛倒地小睡 –他沒死,沒事 1385 01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:49,063 –那叫還好? –對 1386 01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:51,107 等等,阿安呢? 1387 01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:53,735 我的乖兒子呢? 1388 01:16:53,735 --> 01:16:56,946 放心,我找到他了 1389 01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:59,866 對不起,我認錯人 1390 01:16:59,866 --> 01:17:01,117 被抓到 1391 01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:04,287 我以為是你,結果是他 1392 01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:05,997 –我是最爛的跟班 –閉嘴 1393 01:17:05,997 --> 01:17:07,582 –我閉嘴 –閉嘴 1394 01:17:07,582 --> 01:17:11,419 你敢碰我兒子一根寒毛 1395 01:17:11,419 --> 01:17:16,090 老娘發誓會把你砍成兩半,混蛋 1396 01:17:16,090 --> 01:17:18,634 –妳誰啊? –是我媽,媽,我愛妳 1397 01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:20,094 死了上天堂也愛妳 1398 01:17:20,094 --> 01:17:22,972 –你老媽來幹麼? –給他精神打氣 1399 01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:26,184 –我愛他 –媽,我愛妳 1400 01:17:26,184 --> 01:17:28,936 老娘會砍死你,你有膽試試看 1401 01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:30,813 –媽 –愛你 1402 01:17:31,522 --> 01:17:33,358 你們怎麼都沒槍? 1403 01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:36,778 –我們不是來殺人的 –是嗎? 1404 01:17:37,779 --> 01:17:39,489 206哥人呢? 1405 01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:43,451 他...在做早餐 1406 01:17:48,498 --> 01:17:50,041 你在看笑話嗎? 1407 01:17:51,209 --> 01:17:53,002 你在看笑話 1408 01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:59,175 –小聲點,哭屁啊? –我感覺到你很難過 1409 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:01,969 那個人是我師父 1410 01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,681 他是我的女神,我的靠山 1411 01:18:06,307 --> 01:18:07,934 2003年有一小段時間 1412 01:18:07,934 --> 01:18:11,187 我搞不清楚自己的性向,他是我男友 1413 01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,897 –好像... –給我閉嘴 1414 01:18:12,897 --> 01:18:15,316 –不要打我 –聽我說 1415 01:18:15,316 --> 01:18:18,403 –道格,對不起害你失業 –很抱歉 1416 01:18:18,403 --> 01:18:19,320 對不起 1417 01:18:20,446 --> 01:18:21,531 對不起? 1418 01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:24,951 你們挺聰明的嘛 1419 01:18:25,827 --> 01:18:29,539 我本以為 你們被炸死在那間辦公室了 1420 01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:33,751 道格,聽我說,不要傷害他 1421 01:18:33,751 --> 01:18:36,879 –聽到沒?不要傷害他 –你突然會關心人? 1422 01:18:38,297 --> 01:18:40,591 機器人突然有心了? 1423 01:18:41,676 --> 01:18:42,760 關心個屁 1424 01:18:43,428 --> 01:18:46,472 這個人只是你的員工 1425 01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:48,808 他是不是可有可無? 1426 01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:53,104 不是,那個人不只是員工 1427 01:18:54,647 --> 01:18:57,233 –阿安34歲 –35歲 1428 01:18:57,233 --> 01:18:59,735 –他是左撇子 –右撇子 1429 01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:03,573 –怕蠍子 –我喜歡蠍子 1430 01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,409 –小六拼字比賽冠軍 –應該是第四名 1431 01:19:06,409 --> 01:19:09,537 《家庭派對》每句台詞倒背如流 人物和遊戲也是 1432 01:19:09,537 --> 01:19:12,290 –沒錯 –真的,我超會背 1433 01:19:12,290 --> 01:19:15,960 阿安是我最重要的人 1434 01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,462 不管死活我都挺你 1435 01:19:17,462 --> 01:19:20,506 我比較希望多活一點 1436 01:19:20,506 --> 01:19:22,717 –應該會死得很快 –夠了 1437 01:19:22,717 --> 01:19:25,261 –我會閉嘴 –道格,住手 1438 01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,765 冤有頭債有主,得罪你的人是我 1439 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:31,642 趕你走的人是我 1440 01:19:32,143 --> 01:19:35,771 像垃圾一樣把你丟到路邊 1441 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:39,734 眼睛都不眨一下的人是我,不是他 1442 01:19:40,526 --> 01:19:43,863 放他走,要抓就抓我 1443 01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:46,824 要我放他走? 1444 01:19:47,742 --> 01:19:50,077 –再說一次 –放他走 1445 01:19:50,077 --> 01:19:52,455 –老媽,妳說呢? –拜託放他走 1446 01:19:52,455 --> 01:19:54,081 –放他走 –放我走 1447 01:19:54,081 --> 01:19:55,583 –你想走嗎? –那就太好了 1448 01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:58,377 大家都這樣說,我應該放你走 1449 01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:00,004 –老媽,我放他走 –謝謝 1450 01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:02,173 看好了,妳有在看嗎? 1451 01:20:02,173 --> 01:20:04,133 –謝謝 –給我下去 1452 01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:06,844 –靠 –不要 1453 01:20:06,844 --> 01:20:09,931 夭壽,他真的放手 1454 01:20:09,931 --> 01:20:12,558 –放他好好走 –道格,到此為止 1455 01:20:14,352 --> 01:20:17,063 小矮子,我沒意見 1456 01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:23,945 要老子來硬的,混蛋 1457 01:20:23,945 --> 01:20:25,321 你死定了 1458 01:20:28,616 --> 01:20:31,702 寶貝,我兒子沒死 1459 01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:32,870 –他沒死 –他沒死 1460 01:20:32,870 --> 01:20:34,205 –我沒事 –你沒事 1461 01:20:34,205 --> 01:20:36,832 我很好,好在有桌子擋著 1462 01:20:36,832 --> 01:20:40,545 有沒有看到?是在樹林沒做的動作 1463 01:20:40,545 --> 01:20:43,005 –向你致敬 –我扶你起來 1464 01:20:43,005 --> 01:20:44,090 我喜歡... 1465 01:20:44,924 --> 01:20:48,261 –慢慢來 –扶他到...夭壽 1466 01:20:48,261 --> 01:20:49,345 怎麼回事? 1467 01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:52,098 –沒什麼 –有小桌角... 1468 01:20:52,890 --> 01:20:54,976 –什麼桌角? –不要摸 1469 01:20:54,976 --> 01:20:58,062 –怎麼了?我要知道 –不要摸 1470 01:20:58,062 --> 01:21:01,691 沒什麼,只是小碎片,還好 1471 01:21:01,691 --> 01:21:06,070 拿鑷子夾出來,幹麼不讓我夾出來? 1472 01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,655 –不要亂動 –住手 1473 01:21:07,655 --> 01:21:09,031 送他去醫院 1474 01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:11,325 我的腎臟好像有東西 1475 01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:13,494 –走路有感覺 –寶貝,快點 1476 01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:15,705 真要命 1477 01:21:17,582 --> 01:21:18,583 什麼東西? 1478 01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:22,920 我安裝客製燈,你都沒空學怎麼用 1479 01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:27,633 凱文,我當你的替身這麼多年 1480 01:21:29,302 --> 01:21:31,596 –伯母,快帶他去醫院 –喬丹,跟我來 1481 01:21:31,596 --> 01:21:34,223 小心點,寶貝,不要亂動 1482 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:37,351 凱文,不只是重摔 1483 01:21:37,351 --> 01:21:40,396 被踢臉、被火燒 1484 01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:44,025 我還做很多事,你才有俐落身手 1485 01:21:44,442 --> 01:21:47,236 還記得《正義聯盟2》嗎? 1486 01:21:48,446 --> 01:21:51,198 你決定為角色增胖13公斤 1487 01:21:52,325 --> 01:21:55,369 我也要跟著你增胖13公斤 1488 01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,707 自私鬼,我的血糖有點高 害我差點昏迷 1489 01:21:59,707 --> 01:22:04,253 道格,不要激動 1490 01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:06,839 –對不起,是我不對 –閉嘴 1491 01:22:06,839 --> 01:22:09,842 媽,不行,我不能走 1492 01:22:09,842 --> 01:22:12,720 我不會讓你死,我不要再失去你 1493 01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:15,014 媽,聽好,看著我 1494 01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:18,684 我知道妳很想救爸 1495 01:22:18,684 --> 01:22:20,811 –對 –我知道 1496 01:22:20,811 --> 01:22:23,814 這不一樣,我不只是凱文的助理 1497 01:22:23,814 --> 01:22:24,857 我是他的跟班 1498 01:22:24,857 --> 01:22:27,985 知道跟班的第一條規則嗎? 1499 01:22:28,903 --> 01:22:31,530 –不要害人? –不對,媽,那是醫生 1500 01:22:32,239 --> 01:22:34,492 跟班的第一條規則是沒跟班 1501 01:22:34,492 --> 01:22:38,788 媽,妳明知道是《鬥陣俱樂部》 布萊德彼特跟艾德華諾頓演的 1502 01:22:38,788 --> 01:22:39,789 那就說啊 1503 01:22:39,789 --> 01:22:42,083 聽我說,聽好了 1504 01:22:42,083 --> 01:22:44,335 以前我當跟班都很嫉妒 1505 01:22:44,335 --> 01:22:46,504 主角的光鮮亮麗 1506 01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:49,924 道格,我告訴自己等我當主角 1507 01:22:49,924 --> 01:22:54,970 我也想要嘗到成名的滋味,我做到了 1508 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:59,141 等我成名後整個大頭症,自私又笨 1509 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:04,271 才發現我需要心腹團,你是我的心腹 1510 01:23:05,272 --> 01:23:07,775 我需要你,很需要 1511 01:23:07,775 --> 01:23:10,861 給我機會補償你 1512 01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:14,448 給我機會證明這就是我要的 1513 01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,243 我要你,我需要你 1514 01:23:17,243 --> 01:23:19,912 給你機會吸我的雞雞怎麼樣? 1515 01:23:20,913 --> 01:23:24,542 我現在吃香喝辣,住你的豪宅 1516 01:23:26,210 --> 01:23:28,629 我住這裡,你的演藝事業是我的 1517 01:23:29,463 --> 01:23:31,340 你的經紀人喜歡我 1518 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:34,051 製片愛死我,找我演電影 1519 01:23:34,051 --> 01:23:36,387 –恰吉的新片 –你搶走那個角色 1520 01:23:36,387 --> 01:23:38,889 不要過來,再過來我剝掉你嘴皮 1521 01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:42,435 我還簽約要演伍迪艾倫的新片 1522 01:23:42,435 --> 01:23:44,311 等不及看媒體怎麼吐槽 1523 01:23:45,855 --> 01:23:49,942 不要睡,快醒來 1524 01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:53,738 發生什麼事? 1525 01:23:53,738 --> 01:23:57,616 你剛是想勸我 1526 01:23:57,616 --> 01:24:03,622 你被一大塊桌角刺到 1527 01:24:03,622 --> 01:24:07,793 還是想回去找那個瘋子算帳 1528 01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:11,338 他的體力比你好幾百倍 1529 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:16,719 你不只是跟班,你是他的死黨 1530 01:24:19,472 --> 01:24:21,098 沒錯,我就是 1531 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:25,269 幹麼找瑞典演員弄酷刑室那麼麻煩? 1532 01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:29,607 偷一個人的身分有那麼容易? 1533 01:24:29,607 --> 01:24:32,568 偷他的臉有那麼容易?小美人,才怪 1534 01:24:33,235 --> 01:24:37,156 很難好不好,要先拿到他的指紋 1535 01:24:37,156 --> 01:24:40,201 然後還要弄到你所有的密碼 1536 01:24:40,201 --> 01:24:43,537 弄到密碼後,就能拿到你的語音識別 1537 01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:46,832 你其他的秘密我都清清楚楚 1538 01:24:46,832 --> 01:24:49,543 現在你是如假包換的凱文 1539 01:24:49,543 --> 01:24:52,296 你連痣都點掉,變態混蛋 1540 01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:57,134 對,誰叫我是凱文哈特 1541 01:24:57,134 --> 01:25:00,221 我錢多到爆,我的皮膚科醫生是權威 1542 01:25:00,221 --> 01:25:01,972 誰叫我是凱文哈特 1543 01:25:01,972 --> 01:25:04,767 桑契斯醫生絕不會摸你那身粗皮 1544 01:25:04,767 --> 01:25:07,728 –她超愛摸,混蛋 –靠 1545 01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:24,620 來啊,掌你的臭嘴 1546 01:25:26,789 --> 01:25:27,957 –等等 –怎樣? 1547 01:25:29,667 --> 01:25:30,584 超人拳 1548 01:25:35,631 --> 01:25:36,674 算你倒楣 1549 01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:41,929 –就說吧 –你這個混蛋 1550 01:25:41,929 --> 01:25:44,306 我跟你的帳還沒算完 1551 01:25:47,017 --> 01:25:49,186 沒錯 1552 01:25:49,937 --> 01:25:52,523 –我有你的身體 –不要做傻事 1553 01:25:52,523 --> 01:25:53,816 –給我機會 –現在 1554 01:25:53,816 --> 01:25:56,569 –道格,不要 –我要你的靈魂 1555 01:25:56,569 --> 01:25:58,112 不要殺我 1556 01:25:58,112 --> 01:26:01,282 我要殺死你,是怎樣? 1557 01:26:01,282 --> 01:26:04,660 你剛拿什麼東西刺我?靠 1558 01:26:05,786 --> 01:26:07,746 {\an8}最有可能特技自己來獎,凱文哈特 1559 01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:11,166 –你刺我的肩胛骨 –道格要領便當了 1560 01:26:12,835 --> 01:26:15,671 –這招夠力 –大混蛋 1561 01:26:25,139 --> 01:26:26,974 阿安,等等 1562 01:26:26,974 --> 01:26:29,184 那是你身上那塊桌角嗎? 1563 01:26:29,977 --> 01:26:31,353 一輩子的跟班 1564 01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:33,898 不能拔出來,這樣血會流不止 1565 01:26:33,898 --> 01:26:37,192 就叫他不要拔,他都不聽媽的話 1566 01:26:37,192 --> 01:26:40,446 –我願意為你做任何事 –看著我 1567 01:26:40,446 --> 01:26:42,656 你是我看過最厲害的跟班 1568 01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:47,745 你們快報警,等警察到再走 1569 01:26:47,745 --> 01:26:49,538 我送你去醫院 1570 01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:51,540 這次我開車 1571 01:26:54,668 --> 01:26:56,754 我來開好了 1572 01:26:56,754 --> 01:27:00,341 上次你開車很可怕,還是我開比較好 1573 01:27:00,341 --> 01:27:02,593 –不然就... –再看看 1574 01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:05,179 我手腳並用,你坐我腿上好了 1575 01:27:05,179 --> 01:27:09,183 他還沒回過神,我扶你,看好道格 1576 01:27:09,183 --> 01:27:11,060 有我在 1577 01:27:13,062 --> 01:27:14,063 我以前沒腦筋 1578 01:27:15,272 --> 01:27:16,815 整個大頭症上身 1579 01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:20,319 老實說,活著算我命大 1580 01:27:20,319 --> 01:27:23,322 –我們都是 –你剛說怎麼會帶他來? 1581 01:27:25,199 --> 01:27:28,410 –他是我的心腹 –好的 1582 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:32,539 –你好,抱歉遲到了 –她也是 1583 01:27:33,749 --> 01:27:35,167 還有他們 1584 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:40,714 很好,那個老太太是誰? 1585 01:27:40,714 --> 01:27:44,802 你說後面那個美女?那是我媽 1586 01:27:44,802 --> 01:27:48,722 –媽,菜好不好吃? –菜多到我眼花 1587 01:27:48,722 --> 01:27:50,599 –是啊 –我喜歡 1588 01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:52,851 她的角色還不確定 1589 01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:56,772 還有問題要克服 要擦亮凱文哈特的招牌 1590 01:27:56,772 --> 01:27:59,358 就要有心腹團,她是心腹 1591 01:27:59,358 --> 01:28:00,985 心腹團是什麼? 1592 01:28:00,985 --> 01:28:04,446 凱文,你變好多 1593 01:28:04,446 --> 01:28:08,951 我只是在學著珍惜身邊重要的人 1594 01:28:11,787 --> 01:28:16,083 是說你要演《傑佛森一家2》? 1595 01:28:16,083 --> 01:28:18,711 對,要先問一下我替身 1596 01:28:21,088 --> 01:28:22,506 他不是在吃牢飯嗎? 1597 01:28:26,885 --> 01:28:30,264 對耶,整個忘記 1598 01:28:31,223 --> 01:28:32,516 我忘了 1599 01:28:34,476 --> 01:28:35,811 記性好差 1600 01:28:42,401 --> 01:28:47,197 獄警,放我出去 1601 01:28:47,197 --> 01:28:49,700 –你抓錯人了 –不要吵 1602 01:28:49,700 --> 01:28:50,784 我是凱文哈特 1603 01:28:51,535 --> 01:28:53,579 我是凱文哈特 1604 01:31:14,803 --> 01:31:16,805 字幕翻譯:李儀 1605 01:31:16,805 --> 01:31:18,891 創意監督 張世幸