1 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,179 Fuck, fuck, fuck! So late! 2 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,814 {\an8} Mabel's put a scarf on the cat. 3 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,183 {\an8} He's not a cat. He's my husband. 4 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,185 {\an8}Where is he? 5 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:29,188 {\an8}- Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies? - "Ladies"? 6 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,323 {\an8} Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork. 7 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:33,726 {\an8} There were three ladies, and they had an epic pillow fight. 8 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,395 {\an8}- The fork had maple syrup on it. - Out of the way, darling. 9 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:37,863 {\an8}Well, 10 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,532 {\an8}it's obvious he's not coming, so I'll just stay home. 11 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,502 You said this was the one thing you had to leave the house for this year. 12 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,703 You're right. I'm going. 13 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,406 Move, please, Mabes. 14 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,610 Fuck-- caccia. 15 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,346 Did we eat the focaccia? 16 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,750 Well, we haven't got any vegetables. 17 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:02,354 But lucky you, you get to have frozen peas. Mmm. 18 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,623 All right. Come to the table. 19 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,458 Come on. 20 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:10,929 One, two... 21 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:13,432 What am I going to do when I get to three? 22 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,568 Please enter alarm code. 23 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,370 Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck! 24 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,472 - Please enter alarm code. - No! Don't put the flames out. 25 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,508 - We can toast marshmallows. - Please enter alarm code. 26 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,376 Please-- 27 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,854 The tension of our bodies, 28 00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,257 the scars of-- 29 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,826 Hello, Moto. 30 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,664 ...in-- in our longing. 31 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,266 Bridget Jones, always exciting. 32 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,802 - How's the skirt? - Daniel, hi. 33 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,304 Just checking you have indeed forgotten about tonight. 34 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:55,841 That is hurtful, Jones. I have absolutely not forgotten. 35 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,643 No. 36 00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,745 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 37 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,747 - She's in the hospital. - Oh. 38 00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,949 - Primordial sweat. - I will be there 39 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,652 quicker than it took me to bring you to earth-shattering orgasm, 40 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,420 you filthy little harlot. 41 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,861 Love you, Mummy. 42 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,529 "Mummy"? 43 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,964 Darling, clever Geminita. 44 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:21,700 I'm gonna have to rush. It's a family emergency. 45 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,702 But I am loving this one. 46 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,571 I think-- I think we all are, aren't we? 47 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,340 Call me later, yeah? 48 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,775 Oh, yeah. 49 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,578 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent. 50 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,280 Un-bunch those giant panties. 51 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,724 Bloody zip manufacturers should be 52 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,860 cancelled for sociological bias. 53 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:51,597 It is actually impossible to do this on your own. 54 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,434 Help. 55 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,540 Ooh. Thank you, monkeys. 56 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:02,908 Uncle Daniel! 57 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,476 Miniature Darcy, what's the news? 58 00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,011 Where are the ladies with the big-- 59 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,946 Hair? They couldn't make it, sadly. 60 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,748 They're, um... They're washing their hair. 61 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,383 All three? 62 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,951 Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see. 63 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,654 I thought you said no more models. 64 00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,489 Geminita is not a model, Jones. 65 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,458 She is a poet and a healer, 66 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,626 and a model. 67 00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:21,795 Come here. 68 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,763 Hell of a night for you. 69 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,700 Ugh, I can't go. The children need me. 70 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,101 Uncle Daniel! 71 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,903 You. Right. 72 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,439 Get a fork and some syrup. I'm gonna style you. 73 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,974 - I found the cards. - Very good. Excellent. 74 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:40,046 Now then, we need to work on your bluffing and your cheating. 75 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,468 Life has its white notes... 76 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,874 and life has its black notes. 77 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,946 You look very beautiful tonight, Mrs Darcy. 78 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,350 Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Darcy. 79 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:33,999 Bridget. 80 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,068 Very black notes. 81 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,971 Jolly good. Come in. Weather's been a bit shitty, hasn't it? 82 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,572 - Though the cricket this year has been... - Jeremy. 83 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:43,109 ...absolutely phenomenal. 84 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,979 This is what happened. 85 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,682 Mark Darcy, my husband, 86 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,817 father to Billy and Mabel, 87 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:53,686 died. 88 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,988 Or rather, was killed 89 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:59,426 in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission. 90 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,629 - Everybody's just upstairs. - Thanks. 91 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,666 And that was four years ago. Today, actually. 92 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,036 Brace yourself. It's a total fucking shit show. 93 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:16,742 And even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, 94 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:20,012 the world still struggles to find the right ones 95 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,948 when someone you love is gone. 96 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,750 Bridget, how are the children? 97 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,018 - Mmm. - Are they-- 98 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,920 Are they all right without you there? 99 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,989 No. It's fine. 100 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:34,060 Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen. 101 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,763 Maybe not. 102 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,865 Well, we don't make a thing about it. 103 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,934 We celebrate Mark's birthday instead. 104 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,068 Oh. 105 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,504 So, Bridget, still on your own? 106 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,139 It's been four years now. 107 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,708 You're still in pretty good nick. Why no chap? 108 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,911 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard, being a middle-aged woman 109 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,546 - and finding yourself single. - Mmm. 110 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:57,950 Better if you're a bloke. Look at Binko Carruthers. 111 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,551 He's no oil painting, 112 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,721 but the second Rosemary died, he was inundated. 113 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:06,558 Of course, they were all of a certain age, though, weren't they? 114 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,694 Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud? 115 00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:11,063 Hmm? 116 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:14,099 "A certain age"? What, do you mean our age? 117 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,201 - That is the most... - Shazzer now hosts 118 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,803 a podcast called Fed Up, 119 00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,605 in which she has dinner with minor celebrities 120 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,141 while basically getting furious about everything. 121 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,209 ...sexist fucking universe we, unbelievably, 122 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,047 still continue to fucking inhabit. 123 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,686 I need to go to the toilet. 124 00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,121 Oh. 125 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,190 Oh, dear. 126 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,260 Yeah, Jude. Yeah, I'm with her now. 127 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,996 Well, Shaz, tell her to come to The Golden Cock. 128 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:47,299 No, no, no. The party. It's for Mark. 129 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,968 That's not a party. That's a fucking bin fire. 130 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,838 And you think that Mark would want you to stay here and be insulted 131 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,107 in the fucking sexism Olympics? 132 00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,009 To Mark. 133 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,243 - And to Bridget... - Aw. 134 00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,745 ...and the rare pleasure of seeing you 135 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,246 in something not made of terry towelling. 136 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,282 Tom, still living 137 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,918 handsomely off his one hit single 138 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:10,289 which had a comeback recently in a 30-second video of a dog doing maths. 139 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,225 Now, of all things, a life coach. 140 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,994 Honestly, I'd say it was a bit of a breakthrough, 141 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,163 speaking as your psychologist. 142 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,932 You're not my psychologist. 143 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,800 Well, I should be, yes. 144 00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,569 According to the classic model, 145 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,771 you've actually made it to the fourth stage 146 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:29,608 - of the five stages of grief. - Wait. Isn't it seven stages? 147 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:32,144 What are you talking about, Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages. 148 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,179 - Isn't it five? - Well, I always thought it was four. 149 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,814 It's definitely seven. 150 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:38,150 Jude, now CEO or COO 151 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,986 or CTO, definitely a C-something-O, 152 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:44,623 still regularly calling, in tears, from executive bathroom. 153 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,027 So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge. 154 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,329 - Oh. - Stage five. 155 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,931 It's acceptance, which basically means 156 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:56,168 - you just have to get laid. - Oh, my God. Shazzer's right. 157 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:59,238 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling, look at yourself. 158 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,640 You've become a born-again virgin. 159 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:05,044 If you don't get laid soon, your vagina will literally reseal itself. 160 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,046 Yeah, and that is a thing. 161 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,315 It's called labial adhesion. 162 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,984 Oh, my God! 163 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:15,187 {\an8}I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake. 164 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,989 I don't want anyone else. 165 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,724 {\an8}And even if I did, which I don't, 166 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,927 {\an8}I'm non-viable, completely asexual, 167 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,029 and nobody will ever fancy me again. 168 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,798 - Ever, ever, ever. - No. No, no, no. 169 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,701 And I'm going to the toilet. 170 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,003 Crash and burn. That was a disaster. 171 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,204 Well, that was a fucking disaster. 172 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,777 Crikey. Have we been burgled? 173 00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,013 We have not been burgled, Jones. No. 174 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,282 We have been marvellous. Now, tell me this. 175 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:47,820 For Tonya, do we think a kitten heel or a chunky wedge? 176 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,821 She's going to Wimbledon. 177 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,689 Wedge, obviously. 178 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,324 You may be right. 179 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,827 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue? 180 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,964 Ugh. God. No tongue. I have hung up my tongue. 181 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,766 How were they? 182 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,334 Well, the girl is you. 183 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:06,705 Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me. 184 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,707 Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy. 185 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,242 She does that. 186 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,679 Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed until I'd married her rabbit. 187 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,015 - Hmm. - Which I was very happy to do. 188 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,983 That rabbit is not at all unfanciable. 189 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:19,385 Hmm. And Billy? 190 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,954 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he? 191 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,356 Still waters and all that. 192 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,725 As it happens, Jones, your son 193 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,061 and I have a number of shared interests. 194 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,397 Oh, God. Like what? 195 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,765 Models. 196 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,767 He showed me his, I showed him mine. 197 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,703 - Hmm. - And then we-- we talked about death. 198 00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:38,737 Did you? 199 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,773 Yeah. I told him being dead was shit. 200 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,175 And that I should know because I was for a bit. 201 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,843 And then, uh... 202 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,780 I gave him a hug 'cause he seemed a bit sad. 203 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,449 And then that made me sad because... 204 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,151 How is your boy? 205 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,253 Enzo's, what? He's... 206 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,355 Uh, fuck knows, Jones. Fifteen, I think. 207 00:10:56,356 --> 00:11:01,293 {\an8}Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up by digging out the cocktail shaker, 208 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,262 and I taught him how to make a Dirty Bitch. 209 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,863 Saved it for you. It's in the fridge. 210 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,199 Goody. Have it for breakfast. 211 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,301 Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. 212 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,903 Geminita. 213 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,206 Yeah, we're all done. All done. I'm on my way. 214 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,241 Well, as quick as I can. 215 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:20,012 Yes, like naughty old moth to eager young flame. 216 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,482 No, you hang up first. 217 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,317 And-- OK, kiss you back. 218 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:29,188 Yeah, OK. Louder. Yeah. 219 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,056 Oh, my God. 220 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,495 Fuck off, Jones. OK, they're asleep. 221 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,931 Um... ...it did take a bit of time. 222 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,066 But I-- Actually I showed them a video of Geminita 223 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,969 reciting one of her prose poems and they were out like a light. 224 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,807 All right. 225 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:52,211 What happens now? 226 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,080 I'm trying to remember how it worked with our babysitters. 227 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,951 I think you give me 20 quid and try and shag me, don't you? 228 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:02,254 Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel. 229 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,990 At least some things never change. 230 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:08,360 It makes me sad though, Jones. You know... 231 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:13,432 two children and you all alone and effectively a nun. 232 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,803 Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun. 233 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,242 Bye, Daniel. 234 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,411 Yeah. 235 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,945 Thanks for tonight. 236 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,014 Yeah. 237 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,521 Why are these lights still on? 238 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:37,857 I thought you two were asleep. 239 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,260 Do you miss Dada sometimes? 240 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,395 I miss him all of the times. 241 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,236 There's my owl. 242 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,138 Back to bed. Come on. 243 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,408 - Story, Mama? - Mm-hmm. 244 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:06,552 For the baby princess is as kind as she is fair. 245 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:13,425 And the baby prince is as gentle as he is handsome. 246 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:17,596 And wherever they go and whatever they do, 247 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:21,300 Mummy and Daddy will always love them. 248 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:26,005 And Saliva. 249 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:29,141 She stinks, Mabes. 250 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,210 Oh! 251 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,986 - Good night, darling. - Good night, Mama. 252 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,994 Good night. 253 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,498 And all the thoughts... 254 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,070 And all the thoughts are going away. 255 00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:02,474 They don't need little Billy and Mabel tonight. 256 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,911 The world will turn without them. 257 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:09,014 The stars will shine without them. 258 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:15,422 And all little Billy and Mabel need to do is rest and sleep. 259 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,391 Good night. 260 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,193 Night. 261 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,965 Good night, Billy. 262 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,668 - Do the song, Daddy. Please. - OK. 263 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:35,074 ♪ I'll do anything For you, dear* 264 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:36,575 ♪ Anything* 265 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:41,547 ♪ For you mean everything To me* 266 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,489 All by myself 47. 267 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:52,959 Shitballs. 268 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,032 No. Cock-bollocking fuck-bubbles! 269 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,137 Literally everyone else in the whole country 270 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,506 is laughing uproariously with their partners 271 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,409 while watching Netflix and having sex. 272 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,711 You don't want to wallow in it, darling. 273 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,280 And there they are again. 274 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:18,350 All the voices, all the advice. 275 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,352 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge. Wallow. 276 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:24,423 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E. 277 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,760 It's I-E. It's not E-I. 278 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:31,430 No, it's, "I before E except after C." 279 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,032 Yes, exactly. 280 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,301 God, you really are such a T-W-T-A. 281 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,736 A what? 282 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,638 The thing about advice is, 283 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:43,509 no one tells you the same thing twice. 284 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,645 Bridget, you've got to put the children first. 285 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:50,382 Uh-huh. Thank you, Magda. Yes. 286 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,218 Put the children first. 287 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,453 Sod the children. 288 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,423 Put your own oxygen mask on first. 289 00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,325 Right. Oxygen mask. 290 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,593 Got it. 291 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,529 One thing's for certain, Bridge. 292 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,165 Forget about sex. Oh. 293 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,733 OK. 294 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,601 No sex. 295 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,603 You need to have a lot of sex. 296 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,773 Yeah. Why don't you come back to work? 297 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:18,778 Thank you, Richard. I'll bear that in mind. 298 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,526 But as my dad said just before he died, 299 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,463 the big question is... 300 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,532 Can you survive? 301 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,536 I think so. 302 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,805 I have to. 303 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,142 I'm trying. 304 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,814 It's not enough to survive. You've got to live. 305 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351 Is that the Dalai Lama? 306 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,253 It's Harry Styles, I think. 307 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,688 Colin. 308 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,391 - Is that a sausage? - What sausage? 309 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:09,194 Bridget, you know what the doctor said about saturated fats. 310 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,299 Pam, could you take a photograph of us? Me and Bridget. 311 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,104 Um... 312 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,708 Colin, try not to do that with your chin. 313 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,644 I'm not doing anything with my chin. 314 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,584 Promise me you'll live, Bridget. 315 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,188 Smile! 316 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,285 Bridget Jones, it's time to live. 317 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,690 ♪ I know when to go out* 318 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,292 {\an8}♪ Know when to stay in* 319 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,862 ♪ Get things done* 320 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,367 {\an8}♪ I catch a paper boy* 321 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,537 {\an8}♪ But things Don't really change* 322 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,739 {\an8}♪ I'm standing in the wind* 323 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,443 {\an8}♪ But I never wave bye-bye* 324 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,448 {\an8}♪ But I try* 325 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,217 {\an8}♪ I try* 326 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,854 {\an8}♪ Never gonna fall for* 327 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:16,922 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 328 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,691 {\an8}♪ Walks beside me* 329 00:19:18,692 --> 00:19:19,792 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 330 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:21,393 {\an8}♪ Walks on by* 331 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:22,494 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 332 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,595 {\an8}♪ Gets me to* 333 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,598 {\an8}♪ The church on time* 334 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,800 {\an8}♪ Church on time* 335 00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:29,501 {\an8}♪ Terrifies me* 336 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,536 {\an8}♪ Church on time* 337 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,737 {\an8}♪ Makes me party* 338 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,272 {\an8}♪ Church on time* 339 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,875 {\an8}♪ Puts my trust in God and man* 340 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,410 {\an8}♪ God and man* 341 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:39,611 {\an8}♪ No confession* 342 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,813 {\an8}♪ God and man* 343 00:19:40,814 --> 00:19:42,414 {\an8}♪ No religion* 344 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,749 {\an8}♪ God and man* 345 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:47,420 {\an8}♪ Don't believe in modern love* 346 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,724 {\an8}♪ It's not really work* 347 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,826 {\an8}♪ It's just the power to charm* 348 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,696 {\an8}♪ I'm still standing in The wind* 349 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,566 {\an8}♪ But I never wave bye-bye* 350 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,405 {\an8}♪ But I try* 351 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,007 {\an8}♪ I try* 352 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,943 {\an8}♪ Never gonna fall for* 353 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,612 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 354 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,846 {\an8}♪ Walks beside me* 355 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,348 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 356 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,482 {\an8}♪ Walks on by* 357 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,583 {\an8}♪ Modern love* 358 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,652 {\an8}♪ Gets me to the church* 359 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,487 {\an8}♪ On time* 360 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,855 {\an8}♪ Modern love...* 361 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,657 {\an8} Right. You've got your pencil case, 362 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,526 {\an8}your lunch, your homework? 363 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:01,927 - Your keys? - Ooh. 364 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,029 Well, 365 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,865 you've definitely got your recorder so that's good. 366 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,501 {\an8}Your lovely picture of a spaceship. 367 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,438 It's a cat. 368 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,506 Oh, yes. Of course it is, darling. 369 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,808 What paints did you use? 370 00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:18,711 I used the lipsticks with the C's on them. 371 00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:20,479 - Oh. So creative. - Handbag? 372 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,947 Oh, fuck a duck. 373 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,515 Hello, Billy. 374 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,650 Morning. 375 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,452 Hello, Mabel. 376 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,453 Morning, Bridget. 377 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,554 Hi. 378 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:29,955 Just the usual crap. 379 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,625 Are you going to be my new daddy? 380 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,662 - No, Mum! - No! Mum! 381 00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:37,863 When I signed up for having children, 382 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,531 I did not sign up to be ruled by 383 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:41,467 a gaggle of computer crackheads. 384 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:42,768 Well, guess what? 385 00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:44,903 I've had you, I've brought you up, 386 00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,072 and I've changed my mind! 387 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:50,809 No! No, no, no! 388 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,812 Don't you touch those or I'll fucking enter you in Squid Game. 389 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:54,880 Here, darling. 390 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,715 - Come, come. - Mum! 391 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,450 Why don't we ever say hello? 392 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:01,086 Oh. Important life lesson, darling. 393 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,456 Never meet your heroes. 394 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,996 Starting today, will not set things on fire, 395 00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:15,167 will responsibly reset passwords not to include the word "fuckwit," 396 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:18,837 and will not be frightened of the school mums... 397 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,472 Hi. 398 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:23,976 ...in particular, Perfect Nicolette... 399 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,880 ...with her perfect twins. 400 00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:32,818 Move the car! There's no parking in front of the school. 401 00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,653 - How are you? - What? 402 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,822 I-I thought you were in LA. 403 00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:39,992 - Right. - Mr Walliker? 404 00:22:39,993 --> 00:22:43,028 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been selected for the choir for some reason. 405 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:45,064 - Correct. - Well, how can that be? 406 00:22:45,065 --> 00:22:47,566 Because he can't sing. Anything else, Mrs Soltani-Watkins? 407 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:50,569 Mr Walliker, if you have failed to recognise Eros's obvious talents, 408 00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,471 - that's hardly his fault. - It's really quite simple. 409 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:55,074 The choir, like everything else in nature, is chosen on merit. 410 00:22:55,075 --> 00:22:57,476 Yeah, natural selection. 411 00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,878 If Eros wants to put in the work, he's welcome to audition again. 412 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,880 If you'll excuse me. Bike! 413 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,682 Bike! Not there. Not there. 414 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,050 Who's that? 415 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,152 Oh. New science teacher. Mr Walliker. 416 00:23:07,153 --> 00:23:08,687 Instant hero. 417 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,489 Unbelievably rude. 418 00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:11,757 He's awful. 419 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:14,127 Move along, please. Right away! 420 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,497 You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath. 421 00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:22,167 You don't see me unfolding deck chairs and unwrapping sandwiches, do you? 422 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,037 Move it inside! It's choir in eight minutes. 423 00:23:25,038 --> 00:23:27,740 Mr Walliker. Hello. 424 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,041 I don't believe we've met. 425 00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:30,609 I'm Billy Darcy's mum. 426 00:23:30,610 --> 00:23:33,112 The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus. 427 00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:35,647 The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy. 428 00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,883 Mmm. An essential tool? 429 00:23:37,884 --> 00:23:40,220 What an apt description. 430 00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,189 Eros! Atticus! 431 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,059 If you're late, you will regret it for the rest of your days. 432 00:23:47,060 --> 00:23:48,495 Sorry, sir! 433 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:56,236 No! 434 00:23:57,237 --> 00:23:58,837 She'll be back later. 435 00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,072 We have a doctor's appointment. 436 00:24:00,073 --> 00:24:01,741 I've got worms! 437 00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:05,111 Why is your granny wearing pyjamas? 438 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,715 That went well. 439 00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,585 "G-O-N-O"-- 440 00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:15,220 That's lovely, darling. 441 00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,056 - "R-H"... - There you go. 442 00:24:17,057 --> 00:24:18,957 One tablet a day for the entire family, 443 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:22,194 and if her itching doesn't stop, I suggest you get rid of that cat. 444 00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,563 Have you got some help yet? 445 00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:26,598 I know it doesn't look it, but really, 446 00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:29,034 - I've got it all in hand. - No, it doesn't look it. 447 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:32,271 Apart from anything else, I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician. 448 00:24:32,272 --> 00:24:35,974 And whilst I'm happy to step in, you do take my point. 449 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:39,712 If you say "oxygen mask" to me again, I will hit you with this handbag. 450 00:24:39,713 --> 00:24:41,046 I am not afraid of handbags. 451 00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:43,182 You need something else to do. 452 00:24:43,183 --> 00:24:45,617 You need a reason to get out of those pyjamas. 453 00:24:45,618 --> 00:24:47,720 Well, fashion's never really been your thing. 454 00:24:47,721 --> 00:24:49,855 - Rude. - Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan. 455 00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:53,192 Bridget, in spite of all objective evidence to the contrary, 456 00:24:53,193 --> 00:24:55,194 you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman. 457 00:24:55,195 --> 00:24:57,730 And my professional advice to you is this. 458 00:24:57,731 --> 00:24:59,031 - You need-- - No. No, no, no. 459 00:24:59,032 --> 00:25:00,699 Please don't tell me to go and have sex. 460 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:01,934 Oh, good Lord, no. 461 00:25:01,935 --> 00:25:04,069 No. 462 00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:06,605 Read a book. Clean out the kitchen drawers. 463 00:25:06,606 --> 00:25:08,874 Leave the pink bits well enough alone. 464 00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:10,142 You'll be ready when you're ready. 465 00:25:10,143 --> 00:25:12,945 No, my professional advice to you is this: 466 00:25:12,946 --> 00:25:15,280 go back to work. 467 00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:17,050 And how's your love life? 468 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,651 On fire. 469 00:25:19,652 --> 00:25:23,123 "Sy-P-Lis." 470 00:25:26,126 --> 00:25:29,695 - Mmm. - Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis. 471 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:30,829 Syphilis. 472 00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,098 Mmm. Very good. Very good. 473 00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:36,168 And there's some delicious vegetarian alternatives here too. 474 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:40,806 Floods, fires and famine. 475 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:43,809 {\an8}As the world teeters on the edge of climate catastrophe, 476 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:46,645 {\an8}sausages aren't the only thing we are grilling today. 477 00:25:46,646 --> 00:25:50,315 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens joins us after the break. 478 00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:55,954 Hi. 479 00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,056 Oh, thank God you picked up. 480 00:25:57,057 --> 00:25:59,058 What's the matter? 481 00:25:59,059 --> 00:26:01,660 They've got the bloody Environment Secretary on in 45 seconds 482 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:04,363 and they've got me asking her questions about bloody tea bags. 483 00:26:04,364 --> 00:26:06,665 "What's the best way to recycle tea bags?" 484 00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:08,701 "Can you clean surfaces with tea"... 485 00:26:08,702 --> 00:26:09,735 I need you, Bridget! 486 00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,670 OK. Uh... 487 00:26:11,671 --> 00:26:13,372 Ask her... 488 00:26:13,373 --> 00:26:15,741 Ask her why there were no tax breaks for renewable energy 489 00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:17,643 - in last week's budget. - Brilliant. 490 00:26:17,644 --> 00:26:20,179 She'll fob you off with some crap about economic constraints 491 00:26:20,180 --> 00:26:24,283 and then you nail her on oil and gas companies ring-fencing their profits. 492 00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:26,885 - Yes, I do. - She'll flap! 493 00:26:26,886 --> 00:26:30,689 {\an8}And then you nuke her arse on the government's support for fracking. 494 00:26:30,690 --> 00:26:31,824 Ooh. 495 00:26:31,825 --> 00:26:33,759 I fracking love you, Bridget Jones. 496 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,361 - Hi, Bridge. - Yes! 497 00:26:35,362 --> 00:26:39,198 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out about the tea bags though. 498 00:26:39,199 --> 00:26:41,167 - Love you. Bye. Bye. - Love you. Bye! 499 00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:44,703 Welcome back. 500 00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:46,105 Our next guest is 501 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,240 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens. 502 00:26:48,241 --> 00:26:53,045 Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking. 503 00:26:53,046 --> 00:26:55,014 Justify. 504 00:26:55,015 --> 00:26:56,416 And no fob-off! 505 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,055 Could you please put me through to Richard Finch's office? 506 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,158 My name's Bridget Jones. 507 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:08,428 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks. 508 00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,880 Billy, I want to watch SpongeBob. 509 00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,481 Billy, come off that, please. 510 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:31,184 You've had your screen time. 511 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,986 One, two... 512 00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:35,421 But, Mummy, it's Sunday. 513 00:27:35,422 --> 00:27:36,321 No. 514 00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,423 Can I watch SpongeBob? 515 00:27:37,424 --> 00:27:40,159 May I watch SpongeBob. 516 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,760 Yes? 517 00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,996 No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I." 518 00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,164 May I watch SpongeBob? 519 00:27:45,165 --> 00:27:47,766 - No. - But, Mummy! 520 00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:49,335 No, no, no, no. 521 00:27:49,336 --> 00:27:52,004 No more screens, either of you. 522 00:27:52,005 --> 00:27:54,406 Screens have been proven to shorten attention spans and... 523 00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:56,108 Ooh! 524 00:27:56,109 --> 00:27:57,943 No. 525 00:27:57,944 --> 00:28:00,112 Will you come and practise cricket with me in the garden? 526 00:28:00,113 --> 00:28:02,781 Mummy really needs to work, darling. Why don't you play with Mabel? 527 00:28:02,782 --> 00:28:05,751 She refuses to hit the ball. She says she feels sorry for Ball-y. 528 00:28:05,752 --> 00:28:07,319 Ball-y. 529 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,987 Darling, please go and play cricket with Billy. 530 00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:10,957 I may not! 531 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:23,035 Is it too much to ask to get some bloody peace all by my bloody self 532 00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:24,970 for five bloody minutes? 533 00:28:24,971 --> 00:28:26,505 Internet's down! 534 00:28:26,506 --> 00:28:28,307 I want to watch SpongeBob. 535 00:28:28,308 --> 00:28:30,476 Tell Billy it's my turn. 536 00:28:30,477 --> 00:28:34,246 - Mummy! - I don't want to be a mummy right now. 537 00:28:34,247 --> 00:28:35,948 You had it for ages! 538 00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:38,484 I didn't even have it today. It's my turn! 539 00:28:38,485 --> 00:28:40,085 Mummy! 540 00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:41,387 There's no Internet! 541 00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:44,223 I just want to sit down 542 00:28:44,224 --> 00:28:48,861 in echoing silence on my own for one moment. 543 00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:51,363 - Mummy! Mummy! - Just shut up! 544 00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,242 Shark bait! 545 00:29:03,243 --> 00:29:04,476 Come and get it! 546 00:29:06,246 --> 00:29:07,813 Okay. You asked for it! 547 00:29:07,814 --> 00:29:09,081 Miranda? 548 00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:10,382 All right, Bridge? 549 00:29:10,383 --> 00:29:12,584 What're you doing here? 550 00:29:12,585 --> 00:29:15,854 So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House 551 00:29:15,855 --> 00:29:20,125 and it was so, so quiet, you know? 552 00:29:20,126 --> 00:29:22,528 I just miss all this. 553 00:29:22,529 --> 00:29:28,300 Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life. 554 00:29:28,301 --> 00:29:30,002 Plenty of that here. 555 00:29:30,003 --> 00:29:31,270 You don't have any champagne. 556 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:33,138 Top tip: 557 00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:36,342 always keep a cold bottle of champagne 558 00:29:36,343 --> 00:29:38,378 in the fridge for emergencies. 559 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,213 That's excellent advice. 560 00:29:41,214 --> 00:29:42,448 Cards on the table, 561 00:29:42,449 --> 00:29:45,951 I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs. 562 00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:49,088 Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark 563 00:29:49,089 --> 00:29:50,255 to get sperm. 564 00:29:50,256 --> 00:29:51,590 - Oh. - Yeah. 565 00:29:51,591 --> 00:29:54,993 But I want what you have. All of this. 566 00:29:54,994 --> 00:29:59,231 But Soho House and-and Sunday papers and cold champagne-- 567 00:29:59,232 --> 00:30:00,599 You're free, Bridge. 568 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,902 You're liberated from the tyranny of this. 569 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:07,172 Do you know how many dating apps I use? 570 00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:08,407 Could you look sexy? 571 00:30:08,408 --> 00:30:10,042 Well, I mean... 572 00:30:10,043 --> 00:30:13,445 I might still brush up OK given enough time. 573 00:30:13,446 --> 00:30:14,913 No, I mean for this photo. 574 00:30:16,049 --> 00:30:17,249 I've set you up on Tinder. 575 00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,184 - What? - You're welcome. 576 00:30:19,185 --> 00:30:21,453 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Well, I've popped you down as a widow. 577 00:30:21,454 --> 00:30:23,455 It's so much more romantic and singular. 578 00:30:23,456 --> 00:30:26,358 We all agree it's what you need. 579 00:30:26,359 --> 00:30:28,927 What's Tinder? 580 00:30:28,928 --> 00:30:30,195 It's... 581 00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:33,232 such a lovely day. 582 00:30:33,233 --> 00:30:36,935 Who wants to, um, go to the heath? 583 00:30:36,936 --> 00:30:39,238 - No, I don't wanna go! - No, SpongeBob! 584 00:30:39,239 --> 00:30:41,607 Oh, OK. That's no problem. 585 00:30:41,608 --> 00:30:43,108 Uh, sure. 586 00:30:43,109 --> 00:30:44,677 Um, you stay here, 587 00:30:44,678 --> 00:30:50,382 and I'll just, uh, take these chocolate buttons. Ooh! 588 00:30:50,383 --> 00:30:53,619 - Let's go, nutters! - Can't wait! 589 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:56,088 Children and fresh air and white chocolate buttons. 590 00:30:56,089 --> 00:30:58,590 I feel like Julie Andrews! 591 00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:00,492 Oh! I just got matched with someone. 592 00:31:00,493 --> 00:31:02,227 Sorry, Mabel, could you just get off, actually, 593 00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:03,562 'cause you're killing my back. 594 00:31:03,563 --> 00:31:07,467 Uh, he's on a street corner... in a van. 595 00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:12,371 - He looks like Jason Statham... - Mmm. 596 00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:14,173 ...if you squint. 597 00:31:14,174 --> 00:31:15,507 In a bit, Bridge. 598 00:31:15,508 --> 00:31:17,109 Bye, kids. See you. 599 00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:18,645 - Bye! - Bye. 600 00:31:24,317 --> 00:31:28,687 Oh, how everything calms down once you're outside in blue skies 601 00:31:28,688 --> 00:31:32,391 turning the children into biddable lemurs. 602 00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:36,495 Will obviously delete Tinder immediately. 603 00:31:36,496 --> 00:31:38,698 But perhaps a very quick look first. 604 00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:45,672 {\an8}Keith? 605 00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,575 Who are you, Keith? 606 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:55,414 Feel suddenly exposed to whole new world hiding in plain sight 607 00:31:55,415 --> 00:31:57,349 like Narnia through back of wardrobe, 608 00:31:57,350 --> 00:32:00,085 but with lion and witch shagging. 609 00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:02,988 Mummy! Mabel's stuck up the tree! 610 00:32:02,989 --> 00:32:05,157 - How'd she get up there? - Mummy! 611 00:32:05,158 --> 00:32:06,192 Coming! 612 00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:11,697 Okay. 613 00:32:11,698 --> 00:32:14,133 No, it's... it's all right. 614 00:32:14,134 --> 00:32:17,137 I can't get down either. - It's all right. I'm here. 615 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,438 Uh. 616 00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:21,440 Billy. Is that you? 617 00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:23,509 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker. 618 00:32:23,510 --> 00:32:25,477 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy? 619 00:32:25,478 --> 00:32:28,380 Yep. Super. 620 00:32:28,381 --> 00:32:30,049 Just climbing a tree. 621 00:32:30,050 --> 00:32:32,051 I can see that. 622 00:32:32,052 --> 00:32:32,751 Having fun? 623 00:32:32,752 --> 00:32:35,220 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun. 624 00:32:37,824 --> 00:32:40,192 - You sure you don't need a hand? - No, no. 625 00:32:40,193 --> 00:32:41,727 As Einstein said, 626 00:32:41,728 --> 00:32:45,230 "What goes up must come down." 627 00:32:45,231 --> 00:32:47,066 - Newton. - Yes. 628 00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:49,201 Newton. 629 00:32:49,202 --> 00:32:50,569 We're going to die! 630 00:32:50,570 --> 00:32:53,205 No, we're not going to die. We're having fun. 631 00:32:53,206 --> 00:32:55,474 We are definitely going to die. 632 00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:57,777 Clearly you've got this nicely in hand. 633 00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,714 Look, there's a policeman. 634 00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:05,684 Oh, my God. 635 00:33:05,685 --> 00:33:08,054 I've climbed a magical man tree. 636 00:33:09,122 --> 00:33:10,289 - Are you stuck? - Yes! 637 00:33:10,290 --> 00:33:12,091 No. 638 00:33:12,092 --> 00:33:14,527 - Do they need help? - Apparently not. 639 00:33:16,262 --> 00:33:18,298 So, I'll... I'll be off then. 640 00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:20,066 Bye-bye. 641 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,371 Okay. I'll be off too. 642 00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:27,539 Don't go away. 643 00:33:27,540 --> 00:33:29,641 No, seriously. Don't go away. 644 00:33:29,642 --> 00:33:32,212 Hang on. I'm coming. 645 00:33:33,313 --> 00:33:34,413 Okay. Coming up. 646 00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,283 Uh... 647 00:33:38,284 --> 00:33:40,119 Hello. 648 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,055 Okay, just... Hang on. 649 00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:48,193 Hello. 650 00:33:48,194 --> 00:33:49,395 Hi, mate. 651 00:33:49,396 --> 00:33:50,696 - Hi, what's your name? - Mabel. 652 00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:52,865 - Mabel. - I can't jump down. 653 00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:56,301 Okay. Well, you sit down there. 654 00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:59,172 You get comfy, and I'm gonna go down there and catch you, OK? 655 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,408 - Okay, you ready? - Yeah. 656 00:34:02,409 --> 00:34:04,309 Three, two, one, go! 657 00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:07,279 - I did it! - I've got you. Well done. 658 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,847 All right, big man. Your turn. 659 00:34:08,848 --> 00:34:11,750 Okay. You got this, mate. There we go. 660 00:34:11,751 --> 00:34:13,152 - Next foot. - That's it, darling. 661 00:34:13,153 --> 00:34:15,421 And I've got you. 662 00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:17,222 Okay, Mum. 663 00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:18,524 Okay. 664 00:34:18,525 --> 00:34:19,658 There we go. 665 00:34:19,659 --> 00:34:21,293 - Okay. - Okay. 666 00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,198 - You all right? - Yes. 667 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:27,600 Yes. 668 00:34:28,368 --> 00:34:29,602 Okay. 669 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:31,604 Thank you. 670 00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:35,174 Thank you. 671 00:34:35,175 --> 00:34:35,875 It's all right. 672 00:34:37,677 --> 00:34:40,313 Uh, I'm Roxby. But you can call me Roxster. 673 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:42,514 Bridget Jones. 674 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:44,283 But you can call her Mummy. 675 00:34:44,284 --> 00:34:46,353 Hmm. Okay. 676 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,188 Oh. 677 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:50,857 I think this is yours. 678 00:34:53,493 --> 00:34:54,627 Thanks. 679 00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:57,863 Anything else I can help with? 680 00:34:57,864 --> 00:34:59,331 God, yes. 681 00:34:59,332 --> 00:35:00,367 No. 682 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:02,801 Okay. 683 00:35:02,802 --> 00:35:05,205 It's nice to meet you, Roxy. 684 00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:06,906 It's Roxster. 685 00:35:09,342 --> 00:35:11,911 You too, Bridget Jones. 686 00:35:18,385 --> 00:35:21,253 Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis 687 00:35:21,254 --> 00:35:25,591 and reentering world of flirting simultaneously with workforce. 688 00:35:25,592 --> 00:35:28,560 - Mrs Darcy. - Mr Walliker. 689 00:35:28,561 --> 00:35:32,364 Weapon at the ready, I see. 690 00:35:32,365 --> 00:35:35,668 Good to see you managed to extricate yourself from that tree. 691 00:35:35,669 --> 00:35:38,237 Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game. 692 00:35:38,238 --> 00:35:42,341 We're completely obsessed with the outdoors in our house. 693 00:35:42,342 --> 00:35:45,310 Well, I'll have to put you down for our Outward Bound trip next term. 694 00:35:45,311 --> 00:35:46,779 Sounds like it'd be right up your street. 695 00:35:46,780 --> 00:35:48,447 Fucking fuck. 696 00:35:48,448 --> 00:35:50,516 Yeah. Good. 697 00:35:50,517 --> 00:35:53,353 Do you have my slime? I promised I'd show Cosmata. 698 00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:56,456 Oh. 699 00:35:58,992 --> 00:36:00,359 Hey, those are mine. 700 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,795 Give them to me. 701 00:36:03,930 --> 00:36:07,399 They are actually hers. 702 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:08,468 Well, in that case... 703 00:36:12,906 --> 00:36:14,707 Bridget! 704 00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:16,443 You're dressed properly. 705 00:36:17,277 --> 00:36:18,544 Odd. 706 00:36:18,545 --> 00:36:20,412 Heading to a meeting. 707 00:36:20,413 --> 00:36:22,815 Thinking about going back to my old job. 708 00:36:22,816 --> 00:36:25,884 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down for Jobs Day then. 709 00:36:25,885 --> 00:36:27,686 Fucking fuckety fuck fuck. 710 00:36:27,687 --> 00:36:30,022 Yes, absolutely. 711 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:32,958 Celestine, merci. C'est gentil. 712 00:36:32,959 --> 00:36:35,427 Actually, do you mind tidying this up a little bit? 713 00:36:35,428 --> 00:36:36,929 Sure. 714 00:36:36,930 --> 00:36:38,697 Uh, what about the children? Do you have a nanny? 715 00:36:38,698 --> 00:36:40,032 Not yet. 716 00:36:40,033 --> 00:36:42,768 Oh, I've got the perfect person. She's excellent. 717 00:36:42,769 --> 00:36:44,837 She's very pretty, but that doesn't matter, Bridget, 718 00:36:44,838 --> 00:36:46,905 because you don't have a husband, 719 00:36:46,906 --> 00:36:49,842 so it's absolutely immaterial how pretty and perfect she is. 720 00:36:49,843 --> 00:36:51,977 - Sounds good. - There we go. 721 00:36:51,978 --> 00:36:54,413 - Francesca. - Sorry. 722 00:36:54,414 --> 00:36:55,748 Wonderful. 723 00:36:55,749 --> 00:36:57,850 It's nothing. I just threw it together. 724 00:36:57,851 --> 00:36:59,385 Ah. 725 00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:01,354 Bridget? Your donation? 726 00:37:01,888 --> 00:37:03,422 You didn't forget? 727 00:37:03,423 --> 00:37:05,924 No. 728 00:37:05,925 --> 00:37:08,861 Certainly not. 729 00:37:08,862 --> 00:37:11,864 Uh, let's see. 730 00:37:11,865 --> 00:37:13,333 Here we are. 731 00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:16,535 Hummus. 732 00:37:16,536 --> 00:37:18,004 And, uh... 733 00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:25,744 Rice cakes. 734 00:37:25,745 --> 00:37:29,615 And look, they've even been opened already. 735 00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:33,018 Lovely. 736 00:37:33,019 --> 00:37:36,655 Ah. Her name's Chloe, and she'll be with you at 6:30. 737 00:37:37,724 --> 00:37:39,491 Raef! India! Get inside. 738 00:37:39,492 --> 00:37:40,927 That's enough chatting. 739 00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:44,064 Bridget Jones. 740 00:37:44,864 --> 00:37:46,066 Thank you. 741 00:38:17,831 --> 00:38:19,365 Four. 742 00:38:19,366 --> 00:38:20,100 Four. 743 00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:37,716 - Three. - Three. 744 00:38:37,717 --> 00:38:39,652 Thank you. 745 00:38:41,821 --> 00:38:43,489 This is Bridget Jones about to 746 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:47,027 go into an actual in-person meeting. 747 00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:51,497 - Brenda Jones? - Oh, actually, it's-- 748 00:38:51,498 --> 00:38:54,166 Bridget Jones, there you are. Excellent. Quick, come with me. 749 00:38:54,167 --> 00:38:56,436 - Thank you, Lizzie. - Thanks. 750 00:38:57,837 --> 00:38:59,873 Good to see ya. How have you been? 751 00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,808 You look hot. 752 00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:05,110 Oh. Thank you, Richard. 753 00:39:05,111 --> 00:39:08,480 But I think you'll find that sort of language is a little outmoded 754 00:39:08,481 --> 00:39:10,749 - in the workplace. - No, I mean flustered. 755 00:39:10,750 --> 00:39:12,485 Are you going through the, uh, you know? 756 00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:18,123 Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha. 757 00:39:18,124 --> 00:39:21,760 Richard, what am I supposed to do with this, huh? 758 00:39:21,761 --> 00:39:23,595 Does it climb? Does it stand on one leg? 759 00:39:23,596 --> 00:39:26,131 Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise. It doesn't do anything. 760 00:39:26,132 --> 00:39:28,634 He can't pull out. Who the fuck does he think he is? 761 00:39:28,635 --> 00:39:30,669 Arrogant, self-important prick. 762 00:39:30,670 --> 00:39:33,906 Tell that selfish arsehole he can rot in hell. 763 00:39:33,907 --> 00:39:35,808 The Dalai Lama's cancelled. 764 00:39:35,809 --> 00:39:37,876 Twat. Shit. 765 00:39:37,877 --> 00:39:40,979 Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air. 766 00:39:40,980 --> 00:39:42,748 We need a replacement. Let me make a call. 767 00:39:42,749 --> 00:39:44,049 I do Krav Maga with Fergie. 768 00:39:44,050 --> 00:39:45,818 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea? 769 00:39:45,819 --> 00:39:47,886 Duchess. She could be here in 45. 770 00:39:47,887 --> 00:39:51,724 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones. Best producer we've ever had. 771 00:39:51,725 --> 00:39:52,858 Oh. 772 00:39:52,859 --> 00:39:54,593 I'm sure you're very good too. 773 00:39:54,594 --> 00:39:55,761 Huge fan. 774 00:39:55,762 --> 00:39:56,995 Hold this. 775 00:39:56,996 --> 00:39:58,897 Loved your early work from Chechnya. 776 00:39:58,898 --> 00:40:02,501 Now I'm doing features on incontinent tortoises. 777 00:40:02,502 --> 00:40:03,769 Fergie. 778 00:40:03,770 --> 00:40:05,571 Are those glutes burning up? 779 00:40:05,572 --> 00:40:06,171 Hello. 780 00:40:06,172 --> 00:40:08,607 - Hey. Sorry. - Right. 781 00:40:08,608 --> 00:40:12,011 Uh, right. Let's get rid of this set, please, now! 782 00:40:12,012 --> 00:40:14,013 So, what do you think? 783 00:40:14,014 --> 00:40:15,781 Can we lure you back? 784 00:40:15,782 --> 00:40:17,783 Fergie's in. 785 00:40:17,784 --> 00:40:21,053 Does anyone know how to get tortoise piss out of silk? 786 00:40:21,054 --> 00:40:23,656 Blotting and mild detergent. 787 00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,992 When can I start? 788 00:40:28,294 --> 00:40:31,096 Am rejoining ranks of London's employed 789 00:40:31,097 --> 00:40:34,800 and meaningfully contributing to society. 790 00:40:34,801 --> 00:40:39,672 Can walk with head held high and be role model for Billy and Mabel, 791 00:40:39,673 --> 00:40:44,244 saving them from otherwise certain future as alcoholic wards of the state. 792 00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:49,615 It's super that the television's invited you back. 793 00:40:49,616 --> 00:40:52,051 Of course, I always stayed at home when you were little. 794 00:40:52,052 --> 00:40:53,018 Classic Mum. 795 00:40:53,019 --> 00:40:54,687 Can't really talk, Mum. 796 00:40:54,688 --> 00:40:56,855 I've got to tidy up before the nanny gets here. 797 00:40:56,856 --> 00:40:58,223 A nanny? Really? 798 00:40:58,224 --> 00:41:01,860 Mummy doesn't love us anymore. Ow! 799 00:41:01,861 --> 00:41:04,730 Ever since Mum and Una moved into Audsley House, 800 00:41:04,731 --> 00:41:07,266 the retirement home we have to pretend is a hotel, 801 00:41:07,267 --> 00:41:09,101 the phone calls have been the same. 802 00:41:09,102 --> 00:41:11,770 {\an8} Any men on the horizon, Bridget? 803 00:41:11,771 --> 00:41:14,873 {\an8}Well, there's got to be someone. Some people don't mind a widow. 804 00:41:14,874 --> 00:41:16,575 Stings a bit. 805 00:41:16,576 --> 00:41:18,577 Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget. 806 00:41:18,578 --> 00:41:21,613 And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen 807 00:41:21,614 --> 00:41:24,283 doing salmon in the sous vide. 808 00:41:24,284 --> 00:41:26,618 {\an8}I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag, 809 00:41:26,619 --> 00:41:28,987 {\an8}but everybody's doing it these days. 810 00:41:28,988 --> 00:41:31,590 Roxster. Definite development. 811 00:41:31,591 --> 00:41:33,125 Cooking's never really been your thing. 812 00:41:33,126 --> 00:41:35,761 Oh, must go. Bye, Mum! 813 00:41:35,762 --> 00:41:36,795 Bye, bye. 814 00:41:36,796 --> 00:41:38,198 Oh, God, it's her. 815 00:41:40,967 --> 00:41:42,569 Hi, I'm Chloe. 816 00:41:43,703 --> 00:41:44,671 Hello. 817 00:41:46,172 --> 00:41:47,973 What the actual fuck? 818 00:41:47,974 --> 00:41:50,642 She looks like a film star. 819 00:41:50,643 --> 00:41:52,144 Chloe, this is Mabel. 820 00:41:52,145 --> 00:41:54,913 Look, I can play the recorder with my nose. 821 00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:59,018 Children, this is Chloe. 822 00:41:59,019 --> 00:42:01,020 She's going to come and help with everything. 823 00:42:01,021 --> 00:42:02,888 Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge, 824 00:42:02,889 --> 00:42:05,024 - but I've certainly seen worse. - Oh. 825 00:42:05,025 --> 00:42:07,993 Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius. 826 00:42:07,994 --> 00:42:11,897 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children. It adds undue pressure. 827 00:42:11,898 --> 00:42:13,999 Have you read How To Raise a Self-Driven Child? 828 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,634 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list, 829 00:42:15,635 --> 00:42:18,971 so do not spoil the ending. 830 00:42:18,972 --> 00:42:20,739 Oh, not to worry, Billy. 831 00:42:20,740 --> 00:42:22,675 It's not about the result. It's about the journey. 832 00:42:22,676 --> 00:42:24,977 There's something to learn whether you get an A or a C. 833 00:42:24,978 --> 00:42:28,314 Billy has never had a C in... 834 00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:30,115 Who did this? 835 00:42:30,116 --> 00:42:32,184 Mr Walliker. 836 00:42:32,185 --> 00:42:35,721 I drew the earth and the atmosphere, and I put heaven over the top. 837 00:42:35,722 --> 00:42:38,891 And Mr Walliker said that heaven was a religious construct. 838 00:42:38,892 --> 00:42:40,192 And he gave me a C. 839 00:42:40,193 --> 00:42:42,227 Well, Mr Walliker 840 00:42:42,228 --> 00:42:44,997 is a whistle-obsessed fascist 841 00:42:44,998 --> 00:42:48,233 {\an8}with all the soul of a non-stick wok. 842 00:42:48,234 --> 00:42:50,669 Where did you hide the chocolate digestives? 843 00:42:50,670 --> 00:42:53,239 I didn't hide... 844 00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:55,874 ...anything. 845 00:42:57,243 --> 00:43:00,179 Well, plenty to do here. 846 00:43:02,015 --> 00:43:04,683 ♪ If my body was a boat Could you steer that, sailor? ♪ 847 00:43:04,684 --> 00:43:08,087 ♪ Make it feel Like it's a 1960s Hollywood trailer...* 848 00:43:08,088 --> 00:43:11,824 Consumed with guilt re hideously perfect nanny, 849 00:43:11,825 --> 00:43:14,326 who children will obviously come to love more than hopeless mother 850 00:43:14,327 --> 00:43:16,261 without film star hair. 851 00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:18,964 ♪ Ooh, it's what I need Yes, 'cause* 852 00:43:18,965 --> 00:43:23,135 ♪ I could love you* 853 00:43:23,136 --> 00:43:27,806 ♪ If I really wanted to* 854 00:43:27,807 --> 00:43:31,243 {\an8}♪ You could be Be my glass of wine* 855 00:43:31,244 --> 00:43:33,912 {\an8}♪ When the sun set Help me exhale all the excess* 856 00:43:33,913 --> 00:43:37,416 ♪ Baby, bae, b-b-bae B-b-baby, would you* 857 00:43:37,417 --> 00:43:39,918 ♪ Would you make it all right?* 858 00:43:39,919 --> 00:43:41,286 ♪ Or maybe that much better?* 859 00:43:41,287 --> 00:43:42,988 ♪ If you wanted You could make it* 860 00:43:42,989 --> 00:43:45,124 ♪ All worth it, worth it Worth it, worth it* 861 00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:50,129 {\an8}♪ Ooh, when I see the sun rising You make it that much better* 862 00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:52,998 {\an8}♪ So I hope you're gonna make it All worth it, worth it...* 863 00:43:52,999 --> 00:43:56,402 And texting Roxster slowly became part of my life. 864 00:43:56,403 --> 00:44:00,472 A relationship with no necessity for actually meeting, 865 00:44:00,473 --> 00:44:04,810 or arrangements, or sex, or any real life at all. 866 00:44:04,811 --> 00:44:08,981 In other words, the perfect relationship. 867 00:44:08,982 --> 00:44:11,317 Is that the tree Adonis? 868 00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:14,386 Wait a minute. 869 00:44:14,387 --> 00:44:17,823 You wrote to him, "How are you liking Tinder?" 870 00:44:17,824 --> 00:44:20,292 Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull. 871 00:44:20,293 --> 00:44:24,197 He replied, "Don't know, only joined it to find you, Bridget Jones." 872 00:44:25,265 --> 00:44:27,399 - Shag him now. - Mm-mmm. 873 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,269 Then he sent a smiley emoji 874 00:44:30,270 --> 00:44:34,206 and then you responded with the flag of Greece, 875 00:44:34,207 --> 00:44:37,944 an abacus and a duck. 876 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,114 I panicked. 877 00:44:42,115 --> 00:44:43,382 Thank you. 878 00:44:43,383 --> 00:44:45,317 Who's next? 879 00:44:45,318 --> 00:44:48,087 Do you want to go for a drink? 880 00:44:48,088 --> 00:44:50,322 I'm so flattered. 881 00:44:50,323 --> 00:44:52,858 Um, but I've got a boyfriend. 882 00:44:52,859 --> 00:44:56,795 Well, sort of got a boyfriend. I think. 883 00:44:56,796 --> 00:45:00,033 Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um... 884 00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:03,369 no, thank you. 885 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,805 No, it's part of the meal deal. 886 00:45:09,175 --> 00:45:10,309 {\an8} Well, this one's easy. 887 00:45:10,310 --> 00:45:13,112 {\an8}You absolutely must go. Obviously. 888 00:45:13,113 --> 00:45:16,515 But we've been texting for so long now. I can't meet him. 889 00:45:16,516 --> 00:45:18,450 I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day 890 00:45:18,451 --> 00:45:20,285 when they did letter writing for months and months 891 00:45:20,286 --> 00:45:21,954 and then suddenly just got married. 892 00:45:21,955 --> 00:45:25,190 Bridget, sexting a man that you just met in a park 893 00:45:25,191 --> 00:45:26,959 is nothing like Jane Austen's day. 894 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,828 - If you don't shag him, I will. - I can't. 895 00:45:29,829 --> 00:45:33,198 There is no possibility of being naked with a man at this point in my life. 896 00:45:33,199 --> 00:45:35,401 You just need a little rebrand. 897 00:45:35,402 --> 00:45:37,102 You'll start by getting a slip. 898 00:45:37,103 --> 00:45:38,904 - A slip? - Yeah, with a slip, 899 00:45:38,905 --> 00:45:41,373 you can show off your arms, your legs, your décolletage, 900 00:45:41,374 --> 00:45:43,042 which are always the last to go. 901 00:45:43,043 --> 00:45:44,510 And keep the central area, 902 00:45:44,511 --> 00:45:47,413 which one might want to gloss over, glossed over. 903 00:45:47,414 --> 00:45:48,981 And get a Brazilian. 904 00:45:48,982 --> 00:45:50,449 God, no. 905 00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:52,217 I like a bit of coverage down there. 906 00:45:52,218 --> 00:45:54,119 Or run a comb through it at least. 907 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,221 But also, do get a Brazilian. 908 00:45:56,222 --> 00:45:58,024 Just dust it. Dust it down. 909 00:45:58,992 --> 00:46:00,459 Okay, I'll go! 910 00:46:00,460 --> 00:46:03,296 But I'm not going to sleep with him. 911 00:46:04,931 --> 00:46:07,099 Are condoms meant to be coloured? 912 00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:09,101 Is hypersensitive good? 913 00:46:09,102 --> 00:46:11,470 Large? Small? Oh. 914 00:46:11,471 --> 00:46:14,908 Maybe just purchase a representative selection. 915 00:46:23,249 --> 00:46:24,317 Regular. 916 00:46:26,086 --> 00:46:27,419 Mmm, exotic flavours. 917 00:46:30,123 --> 00:46:31,223 Thin feel. 918 00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:34,894 Extra-large. 919 00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:37,597 Pleasure Me. 920 00:46:39,499 --> 00:46:41,401 Lube. 921 00:46:42,602 --> 00:46:44,337 Pleasure Me again. 922 00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,016 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy. 923 00:47:05,058 --> 00:47:06,960 Hello, old friend. 924 00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:16,102 Hmm. 925 00:47:17,637 --> 00:47:18,937 Thanks for having the kids tonight. 926 00:47:18,938 --> 00:47:20,439 Always a pleasure, never a chore. 927 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:21,907 I'll take them to school in the morning. 928 00:47:21,908 --> 00:47:25,911 So you can stay out as late as you want. 929 00:47:25,912 --> 00:47:28,047 Make up for four years of no shagging. 930 00:47:28,048 --> 00:47:29,449 It's only a drink. 931 00:47:32,185 --> 00:47:33,986 Too see-through? 932 00:47:33,987 --> 00:47:36,221 Mmm. Definitely. 933 00:47:36,222 --> 00:47:37,457 OK. 934 00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:40,093 How about this? 935 00:47:42,228 --> 00:47:44,229 OK. 936 00:47:44,230 --> 00:47:46,498 The reality suddenly completely terrifying, 937 00:47:46,499 --> 00:47:48,334 and Mark, and insane and flabby. 938 00:47:48,335 --> 00:47:49,601 And oh, God, oh, God. 939 00:47:49,602 --> 00:47:50,969 I can't. 940 00:47:50,970 --> 00:47:52,971 - I really can't. - Oh. What? What? 941 00:47:52,972 --> 00:47:56,008 - No, I just can't. - Aw. Hey, you can. 942 00:47:56,009 --> 00:48:00,079 You just need to think of it as widening your circle of friends. 943 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,181 That's all. 944 00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:03,949 Hmm? 945 00:48:03,950 --> 00:48:05,250 Come on. 946 00:48:05,251 --> 00:48:07,353 Put on the dress, get out of here 947 00:48:07,354 --> 00:48:09,589 and widen your fucking circle. 948 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:30,609 Oh, God. Look at him. 949 00:48:30,610 --> 00:48:32,612 What if he's perfect? 950 00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:43,155 Hello. 951 00:48:43,156 --> 00:48:44,124 Hi. 952 00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:50,162 There's a really great place around here that's been here for forever. 953 00:48:50,163 --> 00:48:51,563 Do you know this area at all? 954 00:48:51,564 --> 00:48:54,566 Mmm, I used to. 955 00:48:54,567 --> 00:48:58,170 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger thing is just a day job. 956 00:48:58,171 --> 00:49:01,007 And my real passion is garbage. 957 00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,443 Really? 958 00:49:04,444 --> 00:49:08,013 The technical term is garbologist. 959 00:49:08,014 --> 00:49:11,383 I'm a biochemist. Studying to be one. 960 00:49:11,384 --> 00:49:13,118 You're a student. 961 00:49:13,119 --> 00:49:15,354 A late-in-life one, anyway. Yeah. 962 00:49:15,355 --> 00:49:17,322 How late? 963 00:49:17,323 --> 00:49:18,558 I'm 28. 964 00:49:19,526 --> 00:49:21,126 I'm just kidding. 965 00:49:21,127 --> 00:49:22,495 I'm 29. 966 00:49:23,029 --> 00:49:24,630 Fuck. 967 00:49:24,631 --> 00:49:27,299 Is he closer in age to me or to Billy? 968 00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:28,568 What about you? 969 00:49:29,836 --> 00:49:31,236 You are... 970 00:49:31,237 --> 00:49:33,339 Slightly older. 971 00:49:33,340 --> 00:49:36,475 I'm gonna say 35-ish. 972 00:49:36,476 --> 00:49:38,077 Yes. 973 00:49:38,078 --> 00:49:39,112 Bull's-eye. 974 00:49:40,246 --> 00:49:41,647 Let's say 35. 975 00:49:41,648 --> 00:49:43,149 - Mmm. Thirty-five it is. - Mm-hmm. 976 00:49:45,118 --> 00:49:46,618 Is 35 all right? 977 00:49:46,619 --> 00:49:48,554 I think older women, 978 00:49:48,555 --> 00:49:51,324 ever so slightly older women, 979 00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:54,093 have a wiser view on life. 980 00:49:54,094 --> 00:49:56,362 You know, they're more experienced 981 00:49:56,363 --> 00:49:59,665 and more emotionally mature. 982 00:49:59,666 --> 00:50:01,533 Me in a nutshell. 983 00:50:01,534 --> 00:50:04,537 I find that very attractive. 984 00:50:27,327 --> 00:50:31,231 Oh, God. I have no idea how any of this works anymore. 985 00:50:32,732 --> 00:50:34,601 Is it all right if I kiss you? 986 00:50:37,704 --> 00:50:40,806 Aw. The generation who ask. 987 00:50:40,807 --> 00:50:43,176 I think that would be acceptable. 988 00:51:34,461 --> 00:51:36,595 Give me just one moment. 989 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,642 Oh, my God. 990 00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:52,846 What are you doing? 991 00:52:16,603 --> 00:52:19,772 ♪ Put your hand down, boy* 992 00:52:19,773 --> 00:52:22,941 ♪ Welcome to my zoo* 993 00:52:22,942 --> 00:52:26,545 ♪ Put your head inside My big, black wild while* 994 00:52:26,546 --> 00:52:29,682 ♪ I can still help you* 995 00:52:29,683 --> 00:52:32,785 ♪ See the snake-baboon* 996 00:52:32,786 --> 00:52:35,921 ♪ Funky, chic and smooth* 997 00:52:35,922 --> 00:52:39,658 ♪ Honey, can you spy The divine ape-swine* 998 00:52:39,659 --> 00:52:43,963 ♪ 'Cause he can see you* 999 00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:48,667 I... 1000 00:52:48,668 --> 00:52:49,802 You all right? 1001 00:52:49,803 --> 00:52:51,271 Yeah. It's just... 1002 00:52:53,306 --> 00:52:54,507 Yeah. Okay. 1003 00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:56,775 Wow. It's really tight. 1004 00:53:00,313 --> 00:53:04,283 ♪ I'm a man I'm a twisted fool* 1005 00:53:04,284 --> 00:53:07,553 ♪ My hands are twisted, too...* 1006 00:53:09,422 --> 00:53:11,790 ♪ I am an animal...* - Oh, God. 1007 00:53:11,791 --> 00:53:14,293 ♪ ...that starts with E* 1008 00:53:14,294 --> 00:53:15,561 - Mabel's. - Ah. 1009 00:53:16,696 --> 00:53:17,963 ♪ I'm a man* 1010 00:53:17,964 --> 00:53:20,766 ♪ I'm a twisted fool* 1011 00:53:20,767 --> 00:53:23,936 ♪ My hands are twisted too* 1012 00:53:23,937 --> 00:53:26,405 ♪ Five fingers Two black hooves* 1013 00:53:26,406 --> 00:53:27,740 You make me so hard, baby. 1014 00:53:27,741 --> 00:53:30,543 You make me hard. 1015 00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:33,412 What? 1016 00:53:34,681 --> 00:53:36,915 ♪ Got toes and I can smile* 1017 00:53:36,916 --> 00:53:42,022 ♪ I'm crooked but upright* 1018 00:54:12,018 --> 00:54:14,353 How did that happen? I'm using protection. 1019 00:54:16,823 --> 00:54:22,728 ♪ La, la, la, la Whoo* 1020 00:54:22,729 --> 00:54:24,697 ♪ I'm so nine-to-five* 1021 00:54:24,698 --> 00:54:26,031 - Hi, Bridge. - Morning. 1022 00:54:26,032 --> 00:54:27,700 I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's 1023 00:54:27,701 --> 00:54:29,735 requests for today's show. 1024 00:54:29,736 --> 00:54:31,804 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1025 00:54:31,805 --> 00:54:33,772 - It's big. - Yeah. 1026 00:54:33,773 --> 00:54:36,008 - A relaxation corner. - Uh-huh. 1027 00:54:36,009 --> 00:54:38,377 Three full-length mirrors. 1028 00:54:38,378 --> 00:54:41,447 And he'll only use La Mer for some reason? 1029 00:54:41,448 --> 00:54:42,915 I know. 1030 00:54:42,916 --> 00:54:45,517 - Ooh. Three, please. - Three. 1031 00:54:45,518 --> 00:54:47,419 Did you have sex last night? 1032 00:54:47,420 --> 00:54:49,655 What? No. 1033 00:54:49,656 --> 00:54:51,056 ♪ Won't you take a hold of me* 1034 00:54:51,057 --> 00:54:53,625 Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in. 1035 00:54:53,626 --> 00:54:56,528 And, apparently, he won't drink Evian, only Icelandic water. 1036 00:54:56,529 --> 00:54:58,832 And it's got to have lots of alkalines. 1037 00:54:59,766 --> 00:55:01,001 Or no alkalines. 1038 00:55:01,768 --> 00:55:02,936 Um... 1039 00:55:03,903 --> 00:55:05,671 Did you have sex last night? 1040 00:55:05,672 --> 00:55:07,639 What? No! 1041 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:09,508 ♪ La, la, la, la* 1042 00:55:09,509 --> 00:55:11,076 God! 1043 00:55:11,077 --> 00:55:13,512 Tape measure, please. Quick. 1044 00:55:13,513 --> 00:55:18,717 {\an8}The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres from the floor for Ricky. 1045 00:55:18,718 --> 00:55:20,420 Did you have sex last night? 1046 00:55:23,423 --> 00:55:26,959 Yes. I did. Okay? I did. 1047 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:31,897 I had a full night of utterly mind-blowing sex 1048 00:55:31,898 --> 00:55:36,769 with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adonis who might be slightly younger, probably. 1049 00:55:36,770 --> 00:55:40,706 And it was amazing! 1050 00:55:40,707 --> 00:55:42,408 Okay? 1051 00:55:42,409 --> 00:55:44,144 So what? 1052 00:55:52,585 --> 00:55:55,821 ♪ Lost in romance* 1053 00:55:55,822 --> 00:55:58,457 ♪ Let's just dance, ooh* 1054 00:55:58,458 --> 00:56:00,592 ♪ Shake it till the pearls Get lost* 1055 00:56:00,593 --> 00:56:02,594 ♪ La, la, la, la* 1056 00:56:02,595 --> 00:56:04,730 Am not only mother and sexual being, 1057 00:56:04,731 --> 00:56:07,966 but also capable working woman at the top of her game. 1058 00:56:07,967 --> 00:56:10,002 So take that, Chloe. 1059 00:56:10,003 --> 00:56:13,472 I've done the macaroni and cheese, but with butternut squash instead. 1060 00:56:13,473 --> 00:56:15,974 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to move to the top in about 20 minutes. 1061 00:56:15,975 --> 00:56:18,143 Good. Good. Right. 1062 00:56:18,144 --> 00:56:20,579 It's just how I would do it. 1063 00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,047 Um... Oh, Chloe, 1064 00:56:22,048 --> 00:56:24,216 uh, it would be really helpful 1065 00:56:24,217 --> 00:56:26,618 to have their water bottles done the night before. 1066 00:56:26,619 --> 00:56:28,153 In the fridge. Top right. 1067 00:56:28,154 --> 00:56:29,755 Where the expired milk was. 1068 00:56:29,756 --> 00:56:33,492 Oh, great. Great. Um... 1069 00:56:33,493 --> 00:56:36,762 Billy will need something extra for snack tomorrow. 1070 00:56:36,763 --> 00:56:38,630 - He's got-- - Cricket, yeah. 1071 00:56:38,631 --> 00:56:40,766 In a snack bag. Labelled. By the bread bin. 1072 00:56:40,767 --> 00:56:43,535 - We have a bread bin? - I have to leave, I'm afraid. 1073 00:56:43,536 --> 00:56:45,537 Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays. 1074 00:56:45,538 --> 00:56:48,007 6:45 sharp, but earlier to get the spot you want. 1075 00:56:48,008 --> 00:56:50,042 Oh. [chuckles] 'Course. 1076 00:56:50,043 --> 00:56:52,644 You and Graham enjoy your tai chi. 1077 00:56:52,645 --> 00:56:55,180 Oh, you forgot to leave out Billy's cricket things, 1078 00:56:55,181 --> 00:56:56,682 but never mind. I'll do it. 1079 00:56:56,683 --> 00:56:58,118 Bag packed by the door. 1080 00:57:02,889 --> 00:57:04,223 Nevertheless, 1081 00:57:04,224 --> 00:57:07,659 secret to calmer, happier parenting: 1082 00:57:07,660 --> 00:57:09,662 one-night stands. 1083 00:57:11,097 --> 00:57:14,534 Although, it wasn't just one night. 1084 00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:17,570 Brought a pie. 1085 00:57:18,638 --> 00:57:19,938 Hmm. 1086 00:57:26,012 --> 00:57:27,746 That was funny. 1087 00:57:27,747 --> 00:57:30,550 And so, a moment turned into a date, 1088 00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:33,486 which turned into a kiss. 1089 00:57:35,121 --> 00:57:37,223 Which turned into a night. 1090 00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:40,559 ♪ Ooh* 1091 00:57:41,761 --> 00:57:46,665 ♪ What a wonderful thing...* 1092 00:57:46,666 --> 00:57:50,102 And the night turned into a summer. 1093 00:57:51,971 --> 00:57:55,208 ♪ I can see You standing there now* 1094 00:57:56,943 --> 00:57:58,977 ♪ And you're The prettiest thing* 1095 00:57:58,978 --> 00:58:01,047 ♪ In the crowd* 1096 00:58:02,682 --> 00:58:09,222 ♪ And guess who Be laughing loud, but me* 1097 00:58:10,790 --> 00:58:15,028 ♪ You made me see the love* 1098 00:58:16,062 --> 00:58:19,865 ♪ That you're giving me* 1099 00:58:19,866 --> 00:58:21,800 ♪ Baby...* 1100 00:58:23,003 --> 00:58:25,305 ♪ Won't you hold my hand?* 1101 00:58:26,439 --> 00:58:31,076 ♪ Just let me know that I'm your man* 1102 00:58:31,077 --> 00:58:34,947 ♪ And show I'm not ashamed* 1103 00:58:34,948 --> 00:58:37,716 ♪ I walk the floor* 1104 00:58:37,717 --> 00:58:41,887 ♪ When you leave me* 1105 00:58:43,156 --> 00:58:45,325 ♪ Hey, baby* 1106 00:58:46,793 --> 00:58:49,329 ♪ I don't know about you* 1107 00:58:51,264 --> 00:58:55,201 ♪ Let me tell you what I'm gonna do* 1108 00:58:56,403 --> 00:59:01,740 ♪ I'm gonna try to make My dreams come true* 1109 00:59:01,741 --> 00:59:04,243 ♪ With you* 1110 00:59:04,244 --> 00:59:05,911 Morning. Welcome back. 1111 00:59:05,912 --> 00:59:08,080 - Good morning, Mr Walliker. - Morning. 1112 00:59:08,081 --> 00:59:09,915 - Morning. - Mrs Darcy. 1113 00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:10,983 How were your summer holidays? 1114 00:59:10,984 --> 00:59:12,151 I have a new daddy now. 1115 00:59:12,152 --> 00:59:13,318 His name is Roxster, 1116 00:59:13,319 --> 00:59:15,020 and he always gives Mummy 1117 00:59:15,021 --> 00:59:16,689 a funny hairstyle in the morning. 1118 00:59:16,690 --> 00:59:18,824 Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel? 1119 00:59:18,825 --> 00:59:20,325 It is. 1120 00:59:20,326 --> 00:59:23,263 He's not a new daddy. He's just someone. 1121 00:59:25,231 --> 00:59:26,266 Off you go. 1122 00:59:28,101 --> 00:59:29,869 Well, it seems congratulations are in order. 1123 00:59:31,771 --> 00:59:33,205 You! 1124 00:59:33,206 --> 00:59:35,374 - No. You two. Come on. - Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye. 1125 00:59:35,375 --> 00:59:37,076 Bisous, bisous, bisous. 1126 00:59:37,077 --> 00:59:39,845 Bridget, I emailed you from Anguilla about, um-- 1127 00:59:39,846 --> 00:59:42,848 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared. 1128 00:59:42,849 --> 00:59:47,287 I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this. 1129 00:59:48,221 --> 00:59:49,656 Thank you. 1130 00:59:53,226 --> 00:59:55,227 All right, everyone. Settle down. 1131 00:59:55,228 --> 00:59:57,096 Settle down. Thank you. 1132 00:59:57,097 --> 00:59:58,831 Um, so... 1133 00:59:58,832 --> 01:00:02,167 Last term, Daveed's dad was kind enough to talk to us 1134 01:00:02,168 --> 01:00:04,036 about being a thoracic surgeon, 1135 01:00:04,037 --> 01:00:06,338 and next week, Eugenie's mum will be in 1136 01:00:06,339 --> 01:00:09,208 to talk about her role as a nuclear physicist, 1137 01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:11,443 and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize. 1138 01:00:11,444 --> 01:00:14,813 But today, it's Billy's mum. 1139 01:00:14,814 --> 01:00:17,916 So, everyone, give a warm welcome to Mrs Darcy. 1140 01:00:22,822 --> 01:00:23,790 Hello. 1141 01:00:26,826 --> 01:00:28,160 Um. 1142 01:00:28,161 --> 01:00:31,764 I am a television producer. 1143 01:00:31,765 --> 01:00:35,868 My mum says television is making society rot. 1144 01:00:35,869 --> 01:00:37,436 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla. 1145 01:00:37,437 --> 01:00:40,806 OK. May we have a volunteer? 1146 01:00:41,808 --> 01:00:43,710 Thank you, Esmeralda. 1147 01:00:51,484 --> 01:00:52,751 Right. 1148 01:00:52,752 --> 01:00:55,954 You can stand here. 1149 01:00:55,955 --> 01:00:57,189 Very good. 1150 01:00:57,190 --> 01:01:00,025 And you are going to say things like, 1151 01:01:00,026 --> 01:01:02,294 "Ten seconds to air!" 1152 01:01:02,295 --> 01:01:06,466 And I am going to be the interviewer for the day. 1153 01:01:07,834 --> 01:01:08,967 Now... 1154 01:01:12,872 --> 01:01:13,840 Just... 1155 01:01:15,342 --> 01:01:18,744 Right. OK. 1156 01:01:18,745 --> 01:01:23,416 Perhaps Mr Walliker could be the person being interviewed. 1157 01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:25,952 Take a seat. 1158 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,921 Uh, righto. 1159 01:01:28,922 --> 01:01:30,824 Now, topic. 1160 01:01:32,959 --> 01:01:36,261 The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm? 1161 01:01:36,262 --> 01:01:37,497 Right, OK. 1162 01:01:39,499 --> 01:01:42,736 Ooh. Ten seconds to air! 1163 01:01:44,104 --> 01:01:45,938 Hello, this is Bridget Jones, 1164 01:01:45,939 --> 01:01:49,775 and I'm delighted to have Mr Walliker on the show today 1165 01:01:49,776 --> 01:01:53,879 to help us understand the life cycle of the fruit fly. 1166 01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:55,447 Um, well, it's a... 1167 01:01:55,448 --> 01:01:57,216 it's a pleasure to be on the show. 1168 01:01:57,217 --> 01:01:59,985 And, um, thank you for that question. 1169 01:01:59,986 --> 01:02:01,286 Um... 1170 01:02:01,287 --> 01:02:03,222 Well, the, uh, the average... 1171 01:02:04,924 --> 01:02:06,091 Thank you. 1172 01:02:06,092 --> 01:02:08,060 Uh, the average fly takes about 1173 01:02:08,061 --> 01:02:09,361 two weeks to mature 1174 01:02:09,362 --> 01:02:13,098 and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days. 1175 01:02:13,099 --> 01:02:16,835 And then, like all living things, when it dies, it simply stops. 1176 01:02:16,836 --> 01:02:18,003 Cellular shutdown. 1177 01:02:18,004 --> 01:02:20,172 It falls, gradually decomposes, 1178 01:02:20,173 --> 01:02:22,207 and becomes part of the soil system. 1179 01:02:22,208 --> 01:02:24,277 But does it really end when it dies? 1180 01:02:26,212 --> 01:02:28,313 Exactly, Mr Walliker. 1181 01:02:28,314 --> 01:02:31,051 Surely there's more to the story. 1182 01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:36,456 Um, well. Well, not really. 1183 01:02:37,323 --> 01:02:39,491 But, yes. 1184 01:02:39,492 --> 01:02:44,363 After the body of the fruit fly stops working, 1185 01:02:44,364 --> 01:02:47,266 uh, then the soul of the fruit fly 1186 01:02:47,267 --> 01:02:50,235 will be able to be free, yes? 1187 01:02:50,236 --> 01:02:52,404 And that particular fruit fly 1188 01:02:52,405 --> 01:02:56,376 will always, in some senses, be with us. 1189 01:03:00,180 --> 01:03:03,148 - The soul of the fruit fly? - Hmm. 1190 01:03:03,149 --> 01:03:04,616 There's no evidence for a soul, 1191 01:03:04,617 --> 01:03:08,954 but the body is a perfect system of electrical pulses, 1192 01:03:08,955 --> 01:03:11,523 powered by the heart, which is in itself 1193 01:03:11,524 --> 01:03:14,493 - a pump, if you will-- - The soul, Mr Walliker, 1194 01:03:14,494 --> 01:03:17,463 is the essence of every living thing. 1195 01:03:17,464 --> 01:03:19,898 If you think we're simply bits of machinery 1196 01:03:19,899 --> 01:03:21,467 that can be switched on or off, 1197 01:03:21,468 --> 01:03:23,335 then where does art come from? 1198 01:03:23,336 --> 01:03:26,138 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry? 1199 01:03:26,139 --> 01:03:27,539 - Or magic? - Magic? 1200 01:03:27,540 --> 01:03:29,341 The fruit fly, when it dies, 1201 01:03:29,342 --> 01:03:32,277 will stay with its fruit fly family forever. 1202 01:03:32,278 --> 01:03:34,980 Keep the interview on point, Bridget. 1203 01:03:34,981 --> 01:03:36,648 This is utter nonsense. 1204 01:03:36,649 --> 01:03:40,486 Our world is governed by laws and fact. 1205 01:03:40,487 --> 01:03:42,287 That's our universe. 1206 01:03:42,288 --> 01:03:44,189 - And it is rational. - Cut! 1207 01:03:44,190 --> 01:03:46,191 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy. 1208 01:03:46,192 --> 01:03:48,127 I believe in what's real. 1209 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:49,396 Cut! 1210 01:03:50,563 --> 01:03:52,931 Off to Talitha's birthday. 1211 01:03:52,932 --> 01:03:55,467 Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight? 1212 01:03:55,468 --> 01:03:58,470 It's Thursday. I thought you and Graham had tai chi. 1213 01:03:58,471 --> 01:04:01,140 Won't kill him to miss a week, will it? 1214 01:04:01,141 --> 01:04:02,942 He's so uptight. 1215 01:04:04,577 --> 01:04:06,945 Oh, you look nice, Bridget. 1216 01:04:06,946 --> 01:04:08,480 Oh! 1217 01:04:08,481 --> 01:04:10,650 Ooh. 1218 01:04:11,985 --> 01:04:12,919 Oh, try this. 1219 01:04:19,959 --> 01:04:21,226 There. 1220 01:04:21,227 --> 01:04:22,595 Thanks, Chloe. 1221 01:04:25,331 --> 01:04:28,068 Billy! Mabes! Snacks on the table. 1222 01:04:32,272 --> 01:04:35,507 So where is he? Is he not coming? 1223 01:04:35,508 --> 01:04:38,243 Oh, it's fine. He must have been held up. 1224 01:04:38,244 --> 01:04:40,979 - What? By some sort of rubbish emergency? - Oh. 1225 01:04:40,980 --> 01:04:43,015 - Probably had to finish his homework. - Stop it. 1226 01:04:43,016 --> 01:04:44,516 Hope he gets here before story time. 1227 01:04:44,517 --> 01:04:46,385 Shut it! 1228 01:04:46,386 --> 01:04:48,287 Come the fuck on, Bridge. 1229 01:04:48,288 --> 01:04:49,722 Does this guy actually exist 1230 01:04:49,723 --> 01:04:52,324 or is it, um, like that one time 1231 01:04:52,325 --> 01:04:53,959 that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee? 1232 01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,528 - It was him. It was. - Come on. Really? 1233 01:04:56,529 --> 01:04:58,263 - Happy birthday. - Lovely to see you. 1234 01:04:58,264 --> 01:05:00,299 What on earth are you holding? 1235 01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:02,134 Oh, Petula. 1236 01:05:02,135 --> 01:05:03,402 A present to myself 1237 01:05:03,403 --> 01:05:05,971 and I already prefer her to any human. 1238 01:05:05,972 --> 01:05:07,339 Oh, hi. 1239 01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:08,574 ♪ Happy birthday to you* 1240 01:05:08,575 --> 01:05:10,642 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby 1241 01:05:10,643 --> 01:05:12,444 while I feign surprise at the cake 1242 01:05:12,445 --> 01:05:15,247 that I chose and bought for myself. 1243 01:05:15,248 --> 01:05:17,216 Oh, look! Look at that! 1244 01:05:17,217 --> 01:05:19,451 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Talitha* 1245 01:05:19,452 --> 01:05:21,387 Thank you. Oh, look. 1246 01:05:21,388 --> 01:05:26,425 ♪ Happy birthday to you* 1247 01:05:31,131 --> 01:05:32,431 Thank you. 1248 01:05:32,432 --> 01:05:36,502 Thank you all so much for coming today 1249 01:05:36,503 --> 01:05:40,139 to help me celebrate, well, me. 1250 01:05:41,374 --> 01:05:42,775 We love you, Talitha. 1251 01:05:42,776 --> 01:05:44,978 - Talitha! - Talitha! Happy birthday. 1252 01:05:46,479 --> 01:05:48,313 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 1253 01:05:48,314 --> 01:05:50,449 Binko Carruthers. 1254 01:05:50,450 --> 01:05:52,418 Oh, please don't come over. Please don't. 1255 01:05:52,419 --> 01:05:53,752 Beep, beep. 1256 01:05:53,753 --> 01:05:57,523 There she is. The famous Bridget Jones. 1257 01:05:57,524 --> 01:06:00,592 So I told Cosmo I'd take you out for a spin. 1258 01:06:00,593 --> 01:06:01,593 How's Friday? 1259 01:06:03,530 --> 01:06:06,098 Fuck, no! 1260 01:06:06,099 --> 01:06:09,234 Jude, get in there. Come on, get the fuck in there! God, help! 1261 01:06:09,235 --> 01:06:11,203 Oh, my God. Oh! 1262 01:06:11,204 --> 01:06:13,539 Petula, come on, darling. - Petula! Petula! 1263 01:06:14,607 --> 01:06:16,776 ♪ I'm mad about the boy* 1264 01:06:19,679 --> 01:06:21,714 ♪ And I know it's stupid* 1265 01:06:21,715 --> 01:06:24,616 ♪ To be mad about the boy* 1266 01:06:24,617 --> 01:06:26,418 Who's that? 1267 01:06:26,419 --> 01:06:28,620 ♪ I'm so ashamed of it* 1268 01:06:28,621 --> 01:06:33,626 ♪ But must admit The sleepless nights I've had* 1269 01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:36,796 ♪ About the boy* 1270 01:06:40,233 --> 01:06:42,401 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh* 1271 01:06:42,402 --> 01:06:44,103 ♪ On the silver screen...* 1272 01:06:47,140 --> 01:06:51,311 ♪ He melts my foolish heart In every single scene ♪ 1273 01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:56,482 ♪ Although I'm quite aware...* 1274 01:06:56,483 --> 01:06:58,484 ♪ That here and there Are traces...* 1275 01:06:58,485 --> 01:07:00,553 - I think this belongs to you. - Thank you. 1276 01:07:01,488 --> 01:07:06,159 ♪ About the boy* 1277 01:07:08,828 --> 01:07:14,634 ♪ Lord knows I'm not a fool girl* 1278 01:07:16,503 --> 01:07:17,803 - Hello. - Hi. 1279 01:07:17,804 --> 01:07:19,773 ♪ I really shouldn't care* 1280 01:07:23,610 --> 01:07:27,614 ♪ Lord knows I'm not a school girl* 1281 01:07:28,848 --> 01:07:31,550 ♪ Who's in the flurry...* 1282 01:07:31,551 --> 01:07:33,352 Sorry I'm late. Buses were a nightmare. 1283 01:07:33,353 --> 01:07:34,587 It's fine. 1284 01:07:36,723 --> 01:07:38,357 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1285 01:07:38,358 --> 01:07:40,592 She just jumped out of my arms. 1286 01:07:40,593 --> 01:07:43,328 Do not apologise. 1287 01:07:43,329 --> 01:07:45,164 Oh, my darling. 1288 01:07:45,165 --> 01:07:46,832 Let me help you out of those wet clothes. 1289 01:07:46,833 --> 01:07:48,901 No. Don't you dare redress him. 1290 01:07:48,902 --> 01:07:51,603 - You look gorgeous. - You look gorgeous. 1291 01:07:51,604 --> 01:07:55,108 ♪ All because I'm mad* 1292 01:07:56,209 --> 01:08:01,613 ♪ About the boy* 1293 01:08:01,614 --> 01:08:05,885 Now that, my darling, is what I call a rebrand. 1294 01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:09,756 Hi. I'm Roxster. 1295 01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:31,577 ♪ We've come a long Long way together* 1296 01:08:31,578 --> 01:08:33,679 I hope he's up to it, darling. 1297 01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,181 ♪ Through the hard times And the good* 1298 01:08:36,182 --> 01:08:40,619 ♪ I have to celebrate you Baby* 1299 01:08:40,620 --> 01:08:44,890 ♪ I have to praise you like I should* 1300 01:08:44,891 --> 01:08:47,160 ♪ I have to praise you* 1301 01:08:49,596 --> 01:08:51,331 ♪ I have to praise you* 1302 01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,734 ♪ I have to praise you* 1303 01:08:55,735 --> 01:08:58,237 - Hello. - Oh, fuck off. 1304 01:08:58,238 --> 01:09:02,474 ♪ I have to praise you like I should* 1305 01:09:02,475 --> 01:09:04,344 ♪ I have to praise you* 1306 01:09:11,418 --> 01:09:13,286 ♪ I have to praise you* 1307 01:09:18,358 --> 01:09:23,729 ♪ I want a little sugar In my bowl* 1308 01:09:23,730 --> 01:09:25,397 If there is a God, 1309 01:09:25,398 --> 01:09:27,800 I'm sure he had more to deal with that night 1310 01:09:27,801 --> 01:09:29,968 than my personal happiness, 1311 01:09:29,969 --> 01:09:33,806 but it did feel like he'd taken the night off everything else 1312 01:09:33,807 --> 01:09:35,709 to focus on me. 1313 01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,912 But then... 1314 01:09:39,913 --> 01:09:41,814 I wish I had a time machine. 1315 01:09:41,815 --> 01:09:43,716 ♪ Feel so funny* 1316 01:09:43,717 --> 01:09:48,754 ♪ I feel so sad* 1317 01:09:48,755 --> 01:09:49,955 ♪ What's the matter, baby?* 1318 01:09:49,956 --> 01:09:51,623 A time machine. 1319 01:09:51,624 --> 01:09:54,026 ♪ Come on, save my soul* 1320 01:09:54,027 --> 01:09:56,495 In his moment of inebriated joy, 1321 01:09:56,496 --> 01:09:58,798 he had given himself away. 1322 01:10:02,635 --> 01:10:04,503 ♪ In my bowl* 1323 01:10:04,504 --> 01:10:06,372 It mattered to him. 1324 01:10:06,373 --> 01:10:11,444 And with that came the elephant stomping heavily into the room. 1325 01:10:27,794 --> 01:10:30,029 ♪ I try to discover...* 1326 01:10:30,030 --> 01:10:31,897 That happens to us all, James. 1327 01:10:35,735 --> 01:10:38,003 Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day. 1328 01:10:39,939 --> 01:10:43,575 Well, 60 in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. 1329 01:10:43,576 --> 01:10:47,579 Yeah, but you've got so many interesting characters in this show. 1330 01:10:47,580 --> 01:10:49,615 So this show is for... 1331 01:10:49,616 --> 01:10:50,983 Ghosting. 1332 01:10:50,984 --> 01:10:52,851 The practice of ending a relationship 1333 01:10:52,852 --> 01:10:54,753 by suddenly and without explanation 1334 01:10:54,754 --> 01:10:57,057 withdrawing from all communication. 1335 01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:02,061 ♪ That you give me No reason why you...* 1336 01:11:02,062 --> 01:11:05,931 {\an8} The slow unveiling of reality and rejection. 1337 01:11:05,932 --> 01:11:08,033 ♪ That you give me no That you give me no* 1338 01:11:08,034 --> 01:11:10,836 ♪ That you give me no That you give me no...* 1339 01:11:10,837 --> 01:11:12,539 The casual cruelty. 1340 01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,911 ♪ I hear you calling* 1341 01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:23,015 ♪ Oh, baby, please...* 1342 01:11:25,051 --> 01:11:29,388 ♪ Give a little respect* 1343 01:11:29,389 --> 01:11:35,794 ♪ To me* 1344 01:11:35,795 --> 01:11:38,464 ♪ What religion or reason* 1345 01:11:38,465 --> 01:11:42,568 ♪ Could cause a man To forsake his lover?* 1346 01:11:42,569 --> 01:11:44,069 ♪ Don't you tell me no...* 1347 01:11:44,070 --> 01:11:46,138 Do not text when ghosted. 1348 01:11:46,139 --> 01:11:49,842 ♪ Don't you tell me no Soul...* 1349 01:11:49,843 --> 01:11:52,077 Do not text when drunk. 1350 01:11:52,078 --> 01:11:55,115 ♪ I hear you calling* 1351 01:11:56,116 --> 01:12:01,421 ♪ Oh, baby, please* 1352 01:12:02,589 --> 01:12:06,425 ♪ Give a little respect* 1353 01:12:06,426 --> 01:12:10,964 ♪ To me* 1354 01:12:20,740 --> 01:12:22,174 Ghost the bastard back, Bridget. 1355 01:12:22,175 --> 01:12:25,010 Just let him disintegrate into nothingness. 1356 01:12:25,011 --> 01:12:26,912 It can be a jungle out there. 1357 01:12:26,913 --> 01:12:29,481 Yep. And I'm the giant panda, 1358 01:12:29,482 --> 01:12:32,851 sexually obsolete and destined to be alone forever. 1359 01:12:32,852 --> 01:12:36,121 No. You will adapt and survive like we all do. 1360 01:12:36,122 --> 01:12:39,525 I used to be on the cover of Vanity Fair in a flak jacket. 1361 01:12:39,526 --> 01:12:42,628 And now I'm on the cover of Good Housekeeping with a pavlova. 1362 01:12:42,629 --> 01:12:43,697 Cathy... 1363 01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,566 where's your special stuff? 1364 01:12:47,901 --> 01:12:50,469 HD TV was an extinction-level event 1365 01:12:50,470 --> 01:12:53,672 for the fearless career television presenter. 1366 01:12:53,673 --> 01:12:57,476 I'm about to usher you into your next chapter. 1367 01:12:57,477 --> 01:13:00,846 Lip serum. I get it on the dark web. 1368 01:13:00,847 --> 01:13:03,215 - Is it legal? - Absolutely. 1369 01:13:03,216 --> 01:13:04,517 In Venezuela. 1370 01:13:05,051 --> 01:13:06,186 Here, take it. 1371 01:13:09,656 --> 01:13:13,159 Adapt and survive. 1372 01:13:14,994 --> 01:13:17,530 Adapt and survive. 1373 01:13:19,232 --> 01:13:21,967 Ooh. Something's definitely happening. 1374 01:13:21,968 --> 01:13:25,771 It's either disastrous or totally fantastic. 1375 01:13:25,772 --> 01:13:27,107 Mummy! 1376 01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,509 Hi, sweetie. 1377 01:13:30,510 --> 01:13:32,177 Shit. What's happening to my voice? 1378 01:13:32,178 --> 01:13:33,846 Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet. 1379 01:13:33,847 --> 01:13:35,748 No. My feet are on the wrong legs. 1380 01:13:37,517 --> 01:13:39,218 Silly thing. 1381 01:13:39,219 --> 01:13:42,222 Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth. 1382 01:13:43,156 --> 01:13:44,089 No. 1383 01:13:44,090 --> 01:13:45,691 No, there isn't. 1384 01:13:45,692 --> 01:13:47,526 Yes, there is. Look. 1385 01:13:47,527 --> 01:13:49,561 Your lips are all funny right there. 1386 01:13:49,562 --> 01:13:51,864 Darling, don't be ridiculous. 1387 01:13:51,865 --> 01:13:55,502 All right, Mabel, let's get these swapped over, shall we? 1388 01:13:56,603 --> 01:13:58,170 Out we pop. All right. 1389 01:13:58,171 --> 01:14:01,874 I wouldn't do that again if I were you, Mrs Darcy. 1390 01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:03,176 You looked all right to begin with. 1391 01:14:04,811 --> 01:14:06,145 All right. 1392 01:14:06,146 --> 01:14:08,881 You're trying to look younger 1393 01:14:08,882 --> 01:14:14,219 and the effects have marked similarities to those of an elderly stroke victim. 1394 01:14:16,122 --> 01:14:18,992 You're actually drooling now. 1395 01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,128 Oh, dear. 1396 01:14:23,129 --> 01:14:26,065 Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room 1397 01:14:26,066 --> 01:14:29,101 filled to capacity with actual patients-- 1398 01:14:29,102 --> 01:14:31,270 not to mention the fact that I am a gynaecologist 1399 01:14:31,271 --> 01:14:33,605 and that particular set of lips is, 1400 01:14:33,606 --> 01:14:36,608 as it were, broadly speaking, at the wrong end-- 1401 01:14:36,609 --> 01:14:39,612 I am nonetheless going to ask you the question, 1402 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,247 "Bridget, are you OK?" 1403 01:14:42,248 --> 01:14:45,085 A simple yes will suffice. 1404 01:14:46,319 --> 01:14:47,721 No. 1405 01:14:49,622 --> 01:14:51,291 It's all your fault. 1406 01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:35,901 "Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting. 1407 01:15:35,902 --> 01:15:37,670 That's an A, in the middle there. 1408 01:15:37,671 --> 01:15:42,307 Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas", 1409 01:15:42,308 --> 01:15:45,311 but a toy boy is not the answer, Bridget, and nor are big lips. 1410 01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,013 You're a widow 1411 01:15:48,014 --> 01:15:50,149 with two wonderful children who adore you. 1412 01:15:50,150 --> 01:15:52,051 You're just trying to cope with a shitty situation. 1413 01:15:52,052 --> 01:15:53,720 Embrace the chaos. 1414 01:15:55,221 --> 01:15:57,389 That's just a simple allergic reaction to 1415 01:15:57,390 --> 01:16:00,926 hydroxymethoxyphenyl propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran 1416 01:16:00,927 --> 01:16:04,697 in whatever infernal concoction you've smeared on your mouth. 1417 01:16:04,698 --> 01:16:07,733 This is an antihistamine. 1418 01:16:07,734 --> 01:16:09,202 It'll work straight away. 1419 01:16:10,103 --> 01:16:12,304 It's for the lips. 1420 01:16:12,305 --> 01:16:15,375 They still haven't invented anything for being a twat. 1421 01:16:28,388 --> 01:16:29,988 Hello. 1422 01:16:29,989 --> 01:16:31,658 Yes, this is Bridget. 1423 01:16:33,059 --> 01:16:35,362 Of course! Straight away. 1424 01:16:37,964 --> 01:16:39,132 Yes, yes. 1425 01:16:44,938 --> 01:16:45,939 Daniel. 1426 01:16:47,007 --> 01:16:49,441 Well, by all that's holy, 1427 01:16:49,442 --> 01:16:51,311 Bridget Jones. 1428 01:16:56,182 --> 01:16:58,183 Nice of you to come, Jones. 1429 01:16:58,184 --> 01:17:00,387 If I'd known, I'd have worn a tinier nightie. 1430 01:17:01,855 --> 01:17:02,822 What happened? 1431 01:17:03,423 --> 01:17:05,090 My heart. 1432 01:17:05,091 --> 01:17:06,458 Two massive surprises. 1433 01:17:06,459 --> 01:17:09,128 One, I have one. Two, it murmurs. 1434 01:17:09,129 --> 01:17:11,865 They've, um, had a listen and I don't know. 1435 01:17:12,766 --> 01:17:14,133 Are you OK? 1436 01:17:14,134 --> 01:17:16,001 Well, I thought I was having a heart attack. 1437 01:17:16,002 --> 01:17:18,437 My whole life passed before my eyes. 1438 01:17:18,438 --> 01:17:20,139 You actually featured prominently, Jones. 1439 01:17:20,140 --> 01:17:21,807 - Hmm. - All the best bits. 1440 01:17:21,808 --> 01:17:23,343 Rome. Mini-break weekend. 1441 01:17:24,210 --> 01:17:26,412 Sodomy in Sainsbury's. 1442 01:17:28,048 --> 01:17:30,282 But, uh, mainly, 1443 01:17:30,283 --> 01:17:32,217 it was just me wandering up and down the King's Road 1444 01:17:32,218 --> 01:17:33,952 trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds. 1445 01:17:33,953 --> 01:17:35,487 Mmm. 1446 01:17:35,488 --> 01:17:40,292 Perhaps it's an opportunity for a new beginning. 1447 01:17:40,293 --> 01:17:42,195 Brand-new Daniel. 1448 01:17:42,862 --> 01:17:43,830 Mmm. 1449 01:17:45,165 --> 01:17:47,801 I think I shall stay right here... 1450 01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,903 until you agree. 1451 01:17:50,904 --> 01:17:52,939 Well that is kind of you, Bridge, but, um... 1452 01:17:54,074 --> 01:17:55,374 they told me I don't have long. 1453 01:17:55,375 --> 01:17:58,110 - What? - No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that. 1454 01:17:58,111 --> 01:18:00,379 Well, maybe that. No, they, uh... 1455 01:18:00,380 --> 01:18:02,916 they're taking me for some tests in a minute. 1456 01:18:06,820 --> 01:18:10,389 The question is, would we say I've become a fraction tragic? 1457 01:18:10,390 --> 01:18:14,493 They asked me to put down my next of kin. 1458 01:18:14,494 --> 01:18:19,265 And the only person I could think of who might remotely care was you. 1459 01:18:21,201 --> 01:18:23,502 - That's very sweet. - Yeah, but not deliberately. 1460 01:18:23,503 --> 01:18:25,471 The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived 1461 01:18:25,472 --> 01:18:28,073 at this point in my life with no kin? 1462 01:18:28,074 --> 01:18:31,243 How could I possibly be kinless? 1463 01:18:31,244 --> 01:18:34,413 But you're not. You're not kinless. 1464 01:18:34,414 --> 01:18:37,850 Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two. 1465 01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:40,486 And he is now being happily raised by his mother 1466 01:18:40,487 --> 01:18:44,024 and an Italian aristocrat who wears his jumper like a shawl. 1467 01:18:47,027 --> 01:18:48,461 So, lucky you, Jones. 1468 01:18:49,863 --> 01:18:51,898 Your two, the way they look at you... 1469 01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,436 just makes one realise... 1470 01:18:59,172 --> 01:19:00,907 one's own fuck-ups, really. 1471 01:19:02,475 --> 01:19:04,310 The glory of what might have been. 1472 01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:10,950 Did you know... 1473 01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,586 it was actually quite good 1474 01:19:14,587 --> 01:19:17,089 with Gisele at the beginning? 1475 01:19:17,090 --> 01:19:18,857 I have to face the fact... 1476 01:19:20,393 --> 01:19:24,097 ...that it may have been, Jones, love. 1477 01:19:25,031 --> 01:19:26,899 The real thing. 1478 01:19:26,900 --> 01:19:29,134 I still don't know what she was so pissed off about. 1479 01:19:29,135 --> 01:19:30,402 You shagged her sister. 1480 01:19:30,403 --> 01:19:33,105 Once. Massive overreaction. 1481 01:19:35,041 --> 01:19:38,210 God, I love you, Daniel. 1482 01:19:38,211 --> 01:19:42,414 Despite your really quite impressive 1483 01:19:42,415 --> 01:19:46,018 lifelong dedication to total fuckwittage. 1484 01:19:46,019 --> 01:19:47,887 Yeah. 1485 01:19:49,055 --> 01:19:51,057 There's a lot I don't know. 1486 01:19:52,025 --> 01:19:52,959 An awful lot. 1487 01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:58,397 But I do know that my children would give anything at all 1488 01:19:58,398 --> 01:20:01,134 to have just one day with their dad. 1489 01:20:10,010 --> 01:20:13,112 Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver. 1490 01:20:13,113 --> 01:20:14,513 Oh, right. 1491 01:20:14,514 --> 01:20:16,582 And, again, there is really no need 1492 01:20:16,583 --> 01:20:19,184 for you to remove your gown. 1493 01:20:19,185 --> 01:20:20,319 Sorry. 1494 01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:21,887 Okey-doke. 1495 01:20:21,888 --> 01:20:23,255 God. 1496 01:20:23,256 --> 01:20:26,458 Then lights down on the cooking segment. 1497 01:20:26,459 --> 01:20:29,061 Why do I always have to do the cooking bits? 1498 01:20:29,062 --> 01:20:31,497 That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time 1499 01:20:31,498 --> 01:20:33,265 was the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. 1500 01:20:33,266 --> 01:20:34,900 I highly doubt that. 1501 01:20:34,901 --> 01:20:38,037 And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage. 1502 01:20:38,038 --> 01:20:42,374 "And now, on Better Women, a surprise guest." Blah blah. 1503 01:20:42,375 --> 01:20:44,209 And lights! 1504 01:20:45,345 --> 01:20:46,645 ♪ Yeah, I'm a fighter* 1505 01:20:46,646 --> 01:20:48,547 ♪ And I made it through* 1506 01:20:48,548 --> 01:20:50,282 ♪ Solid gold survivor That's...* 1507 01:20:50,283 --> 01:20:52,051 Hold it! 1508 01:20:52,052 --> 01:20:56,021 Linus, we've got to practise following her with the lights. 1509 01:20:56,022 --> 01:20:57,623 So, uh... 1510 01:20:57,624 --> 01:21:00,526 maybe you could dance a bit? Yeah? 1511 01:21:00,527 --> 01:21:03,162 - Uh... - OK. Go, Linus! 1512 01:21:04,631 --> 01:21:06,465 ♪ So give me light* 1513 01:21:06,466 --> 01:21:08,434 ♪ You've got to find Your own road...* 1514 01:21:08,435 --> 01:21:12,104 Can you hold that, please? See, you've got to, you know, go for it. 1515 01:21:12,105 --> 01:21:13,305 ♪ Help me see...* 1516 01:21:13,306 --> 01:21:15,374 'Cause she's going to, you know... 1517 01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:17,409 ♪ And no more light And no more love* 1518 01:21:17,410 --> 01:21:19,411 ♪ It's not over...* 1519 01:21:19,412 --> 01:21:21,513 ♪ It's not over* 1520 01:21:21,514 --> 01:21:23,482 ♪ I won't save you when I'm weak* 1521 01:21:23,483 --> 01:21:25,250 ♪ Only got so much left To give* 1522 01:21:25,251 --> 01:21:29,121 ♪ It's not over* 1523 01:21:29,122 --> 01:21:30,522 ♪ Till I'm done...* 1524 01:21:33,226 --> 01:21:34,660 ♪ Till I'm done* 1525 01:21:36,196 --> 01:21:38,031 - See, Linus? - Hi, B. 1526 01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:41,201 Oh, shit. 1527 01:21:43,136 --> 01:21:44,336 Brought a pie. 1528 01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:49,576 Sorry, they just told me to come in. 1529 01:21:51,778 --> 01:21:54,113 You disappeared, Roxster. 1530 01:21:54,114 --> 01:21:55,048 I know. 1531 01:21:55,715 --> 01:21:56,716 I know. 1532 01:22:00,220 --> 01:22:01,988 I panicked. 1533 01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,059 I got-- I got scared, and I ran. 1534 01:22:07,193 --> 01:22:09,029 But I want this. 1535 01:22:10,130 --> 01:22:11,097 You. 1536 01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:16,069 I thought I wasn't ready, but I am. 1537 01:22:17,070 --> 01:22:18,737 I thought I... 1538 01:22:18,738 --> 01:22:21,140 I don't know, wanted somebody my own age, 1539 01:22:21,141 --> 01:22:23,476 but I don't. 1540 01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:29,582 I love you, Bridget. 1541 01:22:33,319 --> 01:22:35,120 I'm ready for all of it. 1542 01:22:35,121 --> 01:22:37,090 For Billy and Mabel. 1543 01:22:38,158 --> 01:22:39,358 And burnt lasagne. 1544 01:22:39,359 --> 01:22:41,593 And slime. 1545 01:22:41,594 --> 01:22:43,763 And all of it. 1546 01:22:46,099 --> 01:22:47,734 I promise you, I am ready. 1547 01:22:50,503 --> 01:22:52,639 I'm not sure that matters. 1548 01:22:55,742 --> 01:22:57,776 What do you mean? I don't-- I don't understand. 1549 01:22:57,777 --> 01:23:00,613 You're so lovely, 1550 01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:04,316 and you're going to be 1551 01:23:04,317 --> 01:23:07,553 a brilliant partner and dad. 1552 01:23:07,554 --> 01:23:09,121 {\an8}And you're going to discover 1553 01:23:09,122 --> 01:23:12,324 {\an8}all sorts of garbage that will change the world. 1554 01:23:12,325 --> 01:23:14,093 That's not how it works. 1555 01:23:14,094 --> 01:23:15,494 But not with me. 1556 01:23:21,267 --> 01:23:23,236 I wish I had a time machine too. 1557 01:23:25,305 --> 01:23:26,806 So you could catch up. 1558 01:23:30,677 --> 01:23:32,579 Are you-- Are you sure? 1559 01:23:34,814 --> 01:23:36,116 I am. 1560 01:23:49,863 --> 01:23:51,530 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK. 1561 01:23:57,570 --> 01:23:58,705 Goodbye, Bridget. 1562 01:24:10,750 --> 01:24:12,685 Parents' evening. 1563 01:24:12,686 --> 01:24:15,855 Is there a worse night for the single parent? 1564 01:24:16,856 --> 01:24:18,590 They call it parents' evening 1565 01:24:18,591 --> 01:24:20,826 as if it's a plural. 1566 01:24:20,827 --> 01:24:24,164 As if it's a given that there's two of us. 1567 01:24:25,665 --> 01:24:28,701 Oh, well. Chin up and onward. 1568 01:24:28,702 --> 01:24:30,303 Mrs Darcy. 1569 01:24:31,771 --> 01:24:33,672 It's good to see you. 1570 01:24:33,673 --> 01:24:35,742 Good to be back in the studio. 1571 01:24:37,177 --> 01:24:40,146 The great fruit fly debate. 1572 01:24:41,314 --> 01:24:42,481 Uh... 1573 01:24:42,482 --> 01:24:43,782 Small secret. 1574 01:24:43,783 --> 01:24:45,651 It was about 50 times more interesting 1575 01:24:45,652 --> 01:24:47,786 than that bloody thoracic surgeon. 1576 01:24:47,787 --> 01:24:49,521 And don't get me started on the physicist. 1577 01:24:49,522 --> 01:24:53,225 I mean, they'll hand out Nobels to anyone these days. 1578 01:24:53,226 --> 01:24:55,394 Oh, yeah. 1579 01:24:55,395 --> 01:24:58,397 So, uh, Billy. 1580 01:24:58,398 --> 01:25:01,266 Well, he's, um... he's an excellent cricketer. 1581 01:25:01,267 --> 01:25:02,468 - Mm-hmm. - You know, 1582 01:25:02,469 --> 01:25:03,936 he's a very good young scientist. 1583 01:25:03,937 --> 01:25:06,238 He's... he's got a good brain. 1584 01:25:06,239 --> 01:25:10,676 He's methodical, his experiments are well drawn up. 1585 01:25:10,677 --> 01:25:12,678 Look, I mean, it's just, uh... 1586 01:25:12,679 --> 01:25:14,781 it's excellent work all round. 1587 01:25:16,383 --> 01:25:19,686 - Good. - It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm... 1588 01:25:20,887 --> 01:25:22,488 I'm a... 1589 01:25:22,489 --> 01:25:24,556 I'm a bit concerned about him. 1590 01:25:24,557 --> 01:25:27,726 Concerned? Concerned how? What's he done? 1591 01:25:27,727 --> 01:25:30,462 No, he hasn't done anything. He's, um... 1592 01:25:30,463 --> 01:25:32,165 He's just been a bit, uh... 1593 01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:34,701 withdrawn. 1594 01:25:35,502 --> 01:25:36,769 Why is he withdrawn? 1595 01:25:36,770 --> 01:25:38,837 Everything's been all right at home? 1596 01:25:38,838 --> 01:25:41,740 Yes, yes. It's all fine. 1597 01:25:41,741 --> 01:25:43,810 Everything OK with your, um... 1598 01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,479 hairdresser? 1599 01:25:47,480 --> 01:25:50,549 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh... 1600 01:25:50,550 --> 01:25:52,418 He's withdrawn? 1601 01:25:52,419 --> 01:25:55,487 Well, I don't mean to alarm you. 1602 01:25:55,488 --> 01:25:58,924 - Sorry about that. Yep, exactly. - Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry. 1603 01:25:58,925 --> 01:26:01,627 We're a couple of minutes early, but these sessions are so short. 1604 01:26:01,628 --> 01:26:03,929 And I have more than a few questions for you. 1605 01:26:03,930 --> 01:26:05,564 You don't mind, do you, Bridget? 1606 01:26:05,565 --> 01:26:07,766 We do have the two boys, so... 1607 01:26:07,767 --> 01:26:10,837 Not at all. No. That's... It's fine. 1608 01:26:13,039 --> 01:26:15,674 - Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute. - Thank you. 1609 01:26:15,675 --> 01:26:17,944 Right. I've got parents' evening. 1610 01:26:39,532 --> 01:26:41,300 Mark Darcy, the leading 1611 01:26:41,301 --> 01:26:43,969 international humanitarian rights lawyer, 1612 01:26:43,970 --> 01:26:46,972 was killed this morning in the Darfur region in Sudan. 1613 01:26:46,973 --> 01:26:49,508 ...a land mine. The 55-year-old was in 1614 01:26:49,509 --> 01:26:51,777 the war-torn region after joining international efforts... 1615 01:26:51,778 --> 01:26:54,446 Mr Darcy was a leading international figure in human rights 1616 01:26:54,447 --> 01:26:55,814 and crisis resolution... 1617 01:26:55,815 --> 01:26:57,449 ...gained global recognition 1618 01:26:57,450 --> 01:26:59,785 with the Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney case, 1619 01:26:59,786 --> 01:27:01,353 which, of course, he won. 1620 01:27:01,354 --> 01:27:03,789 He leaves behind his wife, Bridget Jones, 1621 01:27:03,790 --> 01:27:06,625 and their two young children, Billy and Mabel. 1622 01:27:06,626 --> 01:27:10,363 More on this story as we get it. 1623 01:28:06,986 --> 01:28:08,555 Dearest darling Mark, 1624 01:28:10,156 --> 01:28:12,658 it's your birthday on Sunday, and... 1625 01:28:14,427 --> 01:28:17,630 ...I'm just no good at doing this on my own. 1626 01:28:19,933 --> 01:28:22,001 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother. 1627 01:28:22,002 --> 01:28:25,671 I'm sorry I got caught up with a callow toy boy. 1628 01:28:25,672 --> 01:28:29,509 I'm sorry I'm late for school and that Billy's withdrawn. 1629 01:28:31,111 --> 01:28:33,113 They're growing up without you. 1630 01:28:34,714 --> 01:28:36,048 How is Billy going to understand 1631 01:28:36,049 --> 01:28:39,418 how to be a man without his father? 1632 01:28:39,419 --> 01:28:41,453 How is Mabel going to live her life 1633 01:28:41,454 --> 01:28:43,490 having never really known you at all? 1634 01:28:44,858 --> 01:28:46,558 Please forgive me for being upset 1635 01:28:46,559 --> 01:28:50,095 about anything which isn't about not having you. 1636 01:28:50,096 --> 01:28:53,032 Please help me find a way to do this 1637 01:28:53,033 --> 01:28:57,470 without feeling like I'm ruining the most important part of my life. 1638 01:28:59,939 --> 01:29:02,475 The only part that still has you in it. 1639 01:29:17,490 --> 01:29:20,759 I have to put down how many tickets we need for my Christmas concert. 1640 01:29:20,760 --> 01:29:23,128 - Mm-hmm. - Should I put down two? For you and Mabel? 1641 01:29:23,129 --> 01:29:24,063 Put three. 1642 01:29:24,064 --> 01:29:27,599 Mabel, me and Chloe. 1643 01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:29,602 OK. Three. 1644 01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:31,570 Finished. 1645 01:29:31,571 --> 01:29:32,605 Me too. 1646 01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:44,050 Daddy will love these. 1647 01:29:44,751 --> 01:29:46,151 They're perfect. 1648 01:29:46,152 --> 01:29:47,152 Yes. 1649 01:29:47,153 --> 01:29:48,754 Did you write one, Mummy? 1650 01:29:48,755 --> 01:29:50,155 I did. 1651 01:29:50,156 --> 01:29:52,491 Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy? 1652 01:29:52,492 --> 01:29:53,626 Of course we can. 1653 01:30:01,534 --> 01:30:04,204 And Mark's birthday came as it always did... 1654 01:30:06,539 --> 01:30:10,909 like all the celebrations, Christmases and anniversaries. 1655 01:30:10,910 --> 01:30:13,713 All the love and all the pain. 1656 01:30:20,553 --> 01:30:22,555 OK. Ready? 1657 01:30:23,823 --> 01:30:24,991 On three. 1658 01:30:25,925 --> 01:30:29,462 One, two... 1659 01:30:37,070 --> 01:30:39,505 What am I going to do when I get to-- 1660 01:30:39,506 --> 01:30:40,707 ...three. 1661 01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:28,154 What I have is what I love most in the world. 1662 01:31:28,922 --> 01:31:30,923 Billy and Mabel. 1663 01:31:30,924 --> 01:31:32,759 Just the three of us. 1664 01:31:41,835 --> 01:31:43,869 ♪ Whoo!* 1665 01:31:43,870 --> 01:31:46,005 - Mr Walliker. - Mrs Darcy. 1666 01:31:46,006 --> 01:31:48,073 ♪ Darling, you got to let me Know...* 1667 01:31:48,074 --> 01:31:49,875 Billy! 1668 01:31:49,876 --> 01:31:51,777 - Hello! - Hello! 1669 01:31:51,778 --> 01:31:52,779 Ready? 1670 01:31:54,647 --> 01:31:58,017 ♪ If you say that you are mine* 1671 01:31:58,018 --> 01:32:01,087 ♪ I'll be here till the end Of time* 1672 01:32:02,922 --> 01:32:07,259 ♪ So you got to let me know* 1673 01:32:07,260 --> 01:32:09,796 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?* 1674 01:32:11,364 --> 01:32:14,167 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1675 01:32:15,301 --> 01:32:18,571 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1676 01:32:20,106 --> 01:32:24,043 ♪ If I go There will be trouble* 1677 01:32:24,044 --> 01:32:28,047 ♪ And if I stay It will be double* 1678 01:32:28,048 --> 01:32:32,618 ♪ So you gotta let me know* 1679 01:32:32,619 --> 01:32:35,320 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?* 1680 01:32:35,321 --> 01:32:36,889 Have a good walk, then. 1681 01:32:36,890 --> 01:32:37,923 Thank you. 1682 01:32:37,924 --> 01:32:40,126 Bye. 1683 01:32:40,927 --> 01:32:42,095 All right, come in. 1684 01:32:42,796 --> 01:32:43,763 Now... 1685 01:32:46,066 --> 01:32:50,103 what this is not is a "walk." 1686 01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,038 We are about to embark as a team 1687 01:32:53,039 --> 01:32:55,808 on an orienteering adventure. 1688 01:32:55,809 --> 01:32:58,243 - So do you each have your compasses? - Yes! 1689 01:32:58,244 --> 01:33:00,813 - Do you each have your maps? - Yes! 1690 01:33:00,814 --> 01:33:03,148 Right then, you know your groups. Hands up, Otters! 1691 01:33:03,149 --> 01:33:07,219 You'll go along with Mr Collins and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha. 1692 01:33:07,220 --> 01:33:11,223 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn the short straw, I'm afraid. 1693 01:33:11,224 --> 01:33:12,958 You'll be joining me and the Ospreys. 1694 01:33:12,959 --> 01:33:15,828 Now, this is very important. 1695 01:33:15,829 --> 01:33:20,266 Remember to open your eyes and look around. 1696 01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:22,267 This is one of the most 1697 01:33:22,268 --> 01:33:24,871 beautiful places on earth. 1698 01:33:26,806 --> 01:33:28,007 Enjoy it. 1699 01:33:28,008 --> 01:33:29,275 Let's go. 1700 01:33:31,344 --> 01:33:35,047 - You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy? - Absolutely! 1701 01:33:35,048 --> 01:33:36,415 I was a Queen's Guide. 1702 01:33:36,416 --> 01:33:39,351 Got my Pioneer badge. 1703 01:33:39,352 --> 01:33:42,988 I can rope, knot, splice and lash. 1704 01:33:42,989 --> 01:33:45,257 If you need anything tied up, 1705 01:33:45,258 --> 01:33:47,826 I'm your girl. 1706 01:33:47,827 --> 01:33:50,230 Right then. Bring up the rear. 1707 01:33:52,198 --> 01:33:54,900 Yes! Bringing up the rear! 1708 01:33:54,901 --> 01:33:56,335 Up! 1709 01:33:56,336 --> 01:33:58,170 We're gonna see much more water than that. 1710 01:33:58,171 --> 01:33:59,305 Up the rear! 1711 01:34:01,374 --> 01:34:02,374 Yep. 1712 01:34:02,375 --> 01:34:04,310 Make sure everybody's with us. 1713 01:34:23,329 --> 01:34:25,965 You can see the second waterfall, can't you? 1714 01:34:28,335 --> 01:34:30,437 Well, those two are together. 1715 01:34:42,182 --> 01:34:43,383 Coming! 1716 01:34:47,187 --> 01:34:48,822 Hurry along. Come on! 1717 01:34:55,895 --> 01:34:57,896 - Give me your hand. - Wow. So cool. 1718 01:34:57,897 --> 01:34:58,965 OK. 1719 01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:02,035 Right. 1720 01:35:03,103 --> 01:35:04,470 Is there a Wi-Fi password? 1721 01:35:04,471 --> 01:35:06,205 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock. 1722 01:35:06,206 --> 01:35:07,940 All right, take this tarp 1723 01:35:07,941 --> 01:35:09,842 and spread it out on the floor over there, all right? 1724 01:35:09,843 --> 01:35:11,310 Come on. 1725 01:35:11,311 --> 01:35:13,847 It's all right. It's dry. 1726 01:35:16,816 --> 01:35:19,518 Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow, 1727 01:35:19,519 --> 01:35:21,787 pick up some firewood for when the rain stops? 1728 01:35:21,788 --> 01:35:23,355 Yep. 1729 01:35:23,356 --> 01:35:25,825 All right, everyone. Do your best to get dry. 1730 01:35:29,329 --> 01:35:31,497 Ding-fucking-dong. 1731 01:35:31,498 --> 01:35:32,999 Whenever you're ready. 1732 01:35:43,543 --> 01:35:45,445 Looks like we'll be here for a while. 1733 01:35:57,257 --> 01:35:59,324 It really is absolutely disgusting. 1734 01:35:59,325 --> 01:36:01,860 Burnt to a crisp. 1735 01:36:01,861 --> 01:36:03,962 I think you'll find it's a brûlée. 1736 01:36:07,400 --> 01:36:08,400 Come on, then. 1737 01:36:08,401 --> 01:36:10,202 Off to Bedfordshire. 1738 01:36:10,203 --> 01:36:12,071 Goodnight, Mr Walliker. 1739 01:36:12,072 --> 01:36:14,306 - Here we are. - Sleep well, team. 1740 01:36:14,307 --> 01:36:16,408 - Well done today. - Thank you. 1741 01:36:16,409 --> 01:36:18,111 Okay. Night night. 1742 01:36:19,579 --> 01:36:20,580 Goodnight. 1743 01:36:29,422 --> 01:36:31,490 Mission accomplished. 1744 01:36:31,491 --> 01:36:34,927 One barnful of sleeping children. 1745 01:36:34,928 --> 01:36:38,163 Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed by your resourcefulness, 1746 01:36:38,164 --> 01:36:39,932 but who travels to the Lake District 1747 01:36:39,933 --> 01:36:42,167 with a backpack full of marshmallows? 1748 01:36:42,168 --> 01:36:45,270 All parents know the marshmallow 1749 01:36:45,271 --> 01:36:48,207 is an essential tool, Mr Walliker. 1750 01:36:52,979 --> 01:36:54,880 Do you have children? 1751 01:36:54,881 --> 01:36:57,350 Uh, no. No, no, I never did any of that. 1752 01:36:58,351 --> 01:37:00,419 But, um... 1753 01:37:00,420 --> 01:37:02,054 It's funny. In the back of your mind, 1754 01:37:02,055 --> 01:37:04,323 you think it might happen, and-- 1755 01:37:04,324 --> 01:37:06,191 But, you know, one day, 1756 01:37:06,192 --> 01:37:09,128 you're preparing a test for a periodic table... 1757 01:37:09,129 --> 01:37:13,532 ...and you realise it's the 27th one you've set, 1758 01:37:13,533 --> 01:37:15,968 and there's just never been time 1759 01:37:15,969 --> 01:37:18,303 to really think about having anything like a... 1760 01:37:18,304 --> 01:37:20,106 like a family in between. 1761 01:37:24,277 --> 01:37:25,445 But it's good. 1762 01:37:26,413 --> 01:37:28,347 It's good. I, uh... 1763 01:37:28,348 --> 01:37:29,649 Well, it suits me. 1764 01:37:31,284 --> 01:37:32,419 Mmm. 1765 01:37:33,987 --> 01:37:35,154 I see it does. 1766 01:37:38,391 --> 01:37:39,926 I mean, look at that. 1767 01:37:43,396 --> 01:37:44,531 All of it. 1768 01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:52,205 You asked me where's the wonder and the magic. 1769 01:37:54,341 --> 01:37:55,675 It's a good question. 1770 01:37:58,111 --> 01:37:59,412 I think it's here. 1771 01:38:00,680 --> 01:38:03,515 You don't believe in magic, Mr Walliker. 1772 01:38:03,516 --> 01:38:04,951 No. 1773 01:38:06,286 --> 01:38:07,687 Well, I've been thinking. 1774 01:38:19,132 --> 01:38:20,265 Mummy? 1775 01:38:20,266 --> 01:38:21,734 Atticus is really frightened. 1776 01:38:21,735 --> 01:38:24,737 He says his mum sings Puccini to him when he's scared. 1777 01:38:24,738 --> 01:38:29,274 Well, he might have to settle for some early Take That, 1778 01:38:29,275 --> 01:38:31,711 but I'll see what I can do, okay? 1779 01:38:33,046 --> 01:38:34,413 Mr Walliker, 1780 01:38:34,414 --> 01:38:36,515 do you mind if I sit here for a minute? 1781 01:38:36,516 --> 01:38:38,218 Of course. Sit down. 1782 01:38:53,566 --> 01:38:55,602 - Is there anything you want to-- - It's just... 1783 01:38:56,503 --> 01:38:58,038 what if I forget him? 1784 01:38:59,205 --> 01:39:00,640 I don't wanna forget him. 1785 01:39:01,608 --> 01:39:03,476 But what if I do? 1786 01:39:10,083 --> 01:39:12,218 Let me tell you this, Billy, um... 1787 01:39:14,254 --> 01:39:18,091 Your dad is everywhere. 1788 01:39:20,193 --> 01:39:21,227 He's everywhere. 1789 01:39:22,095 --> 01:39:23,096 Right now... 1790 01:39:25,065 --> 01:39:26,532 in this moment. 1791 01:39:26,533 --> 01:39:28,768 And that's a scientific fact. 1792 01:39:30,337 --> 01:39:34,240 Energy is only transferred. 1793 01:39:35,342 --> 01:39:36,676 It can never be destroyed. 1794 01:39:37,544 --> 01:39:39,445 And more importantly, 1795 01:39:39,446 --> 01:39:41,548 your father is in you. 1796 01:39:43,516 --> 01:39:44,784 And Mabel. 1797 01:39:50,557 --> 01:39:52,058 Billy, tell me something... 1798 01:39:54,594 --> 01:39:55,762 one thing... 1799 01:39:57,197 --> 01:39:58,598 that you remember best 1800 01:39:59,366 --> 01:40:01,034 about your dad. 1801 01:40:11,644 --> 01:40:15,848 ♪ Another Christmas Is around the corner* 1802 01:40:15,849 --> 01:40:20,285 ♪ And I can feel us, darling Getting closer* 1803 01:40:20,286 --> 01:40:24,256 ♪ It's coming down the road And stopping it now* 1804 01:40:24,257 --> 01:40:28,193 ♪ Stopping it now Is impossible...* 1805 01:40:28,194 --> 01:40:29,162 Can we? 1806 01:40:30,296 --> 01:40:31,663 - May we. - Yes. 1807 01:40:31,664 --> 01:40:34,466 ♪ I built a snowman out The back* 1808 01:40:34,467 --> 01:40:39,271 ♪ It came alive And flew me Round this sleepy town* 1809 01:40:39,272 --> 01:40:42,341 ♪ I put an old scarf round Its neck...* 1810 01:40:42,342 --> 01:40:43,809 Careful! 1811 01:40:43,810 --> 01:40:45,377 ♪ And every time You kiss me...* 1812 01:40:45,378 --> 01:40:46,478 Chop-chop. 1813 01:40:46,479 --> 01:40:47,813 One, two. One, two. 1814 01:40:47,814 --> 01:40:49,415 May I have your hot chocolate? 1815 01:40:49,416 --> 01:40:52,217 - No. No! Marshmallows! - Yes. Yes. 1816 01:40:52,218 --> 01:40:55,421 Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat? Come on. 1817 01:40:55,422 --> 01:40:57,156 Is that all right? 1818 01:40:58,358 --> 01:41:00,526 - Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy. - No. 1819 01:41:00,527 --> 01:41:02,161 Show's starting. 1820 01:41:02,162 --> 01:41:04,296 Yes, of course. 1821 01:41:17,744 --> 01:41:19,645 - That sounds fantastic. - Yeah. 1822 01:41:19,646 --> 01:41:21,313 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00. 1823 01:41:21,314 --> 01:41:23,716 Oh, for God's sake, Victor. 1824 01:41:23,717 --> 01:41:25,685 Fucking prick. 1825 01:41:30,390 --> 01:41:33,626 Bravo! Bravo. 1826 01:41:38,298 --> 01:41:40,900 Thank you, Eros and Atticus Soltani-Watkins. 1827 01:41:42,268 --> 01:41:44,603 Now, although it's not on the programme, 1828 01:41:44,604 --> 01:41:47,339 we do have one-- one more song. 1829 01:41:47,340 --> 01:41:51,443 Um, I happen to know it means a lot to our singer. 1830 01:41:51,444 --> 01:41:55,682 And, um... well, this is his first-ever solo performance, 1831 01:41:56,816 --> 01:41:58,718 and I know he'll do himself proud. 1832 01:42:30,417 --> 01:42:34,720 ♪ I'd do anything* 1833 01:42:34,721 --> 01:42:39,658 ♪ For you, dear, anything* 1834 01:42:39,659 --> 01:42:44,596 ♪ For you mean everything* 1835 01:42:44,597 --> 01:42:48,600 ♪ To me* 1836 01:42:48,601 --> 01:42:50,502 ♪ I know that* 1837 01:42:50,503 --> 01:42:54,473 ♪ I'd go anywhere* 1838 01:42:54,474 --> 01:42:59,611 ♪ For your smile, anywhere* 1839 01:42:59,612 --> 01:43:02,548 ♪ For your smile* 1840 01:43:02,549 --> 01:43:08,687 ♪ Everywhere I'd see* 1841 01:43:08,688 --> 01:43:11,690 ♪ Would you climb a hill?* 1842 01:43:11,691 --> 01:43:13,292 ♪ Anything* 1843 01:43:13,293 --> 01:43:17,930 ♪ Wear a daffodil? Anything* 1844 01:43:17,931 --> 01:43:22,501 ♪ Leave me all your will? Anything* 1845 01:43:22,502 --> 01:43:25,838 ♪ Even fight my Bill?* 1846 01:43:25,839 --> 01:43:27,840 ♪ What? Fisticuffs?* 1847 01:43:27,841 --> 01:43:31,877 ♪ I'd risk everything* 1848 01:43:31,878 --> 01:43:36,548 ♪ For one kiss, everything* 1849 01:43:36,549 --> 01:43:41,487 ♪ Yes, I'd do anything* 1850 01:43:41,488 --> 01:43:43,722 ♪ Anything* 1851 01:43:43,723 --> 01:43:48,861 ♪ For you* 1852 01:44:01,641 --> 01:44:02,809 Go, Billy! 1853 01:44:07,514 --> 01:44:08,448 Bravo! 1854 01:44:43,416 --> 01:44:45,384 Oh, my darling. 1855 01:44:47,687 --> 01:44:50,656 Daddy would be so proud of you. 1856 01:44:50,657 --> 01:44:51,825 I know. 1857 01:44:54,127 --> 01:44:55,961 Well done, Billy. You nailed it. 1858 01:44:55,962 --> 01:44:58,397 - Were you surprised, Mum? - Yes. 1859 01:44:58,398 --> 01:45:00,466 - Genius. - Up top. 1860 01:45:02,402 --> 01:45:04,970 - So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram? - Yes. 1861 01:45:04,971 --> 01:45:06,939 - And did you bring my-- - Yes. 1862 01:45:06,940 --> 01:45:09,109 Bikram! Nintendo! 1863 01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:13,846 Mr Walliker, Billy was... 1864 01:45:13,847 --> 01:45:16,015 The whole thing was... 1865 01:45:16,016 --> 01:45:19,451 - It was-- - It was magic, Mrs Darcy. 1866 01:45:19,452 --> 01:45:21,120 No, it wasn't. 1867 01:45:21,121 --> 01:45:23,455 What you've done for Billy... 1868 01:45:24,824 --> 01:45:27,393 People talk about moving on like it means, 1869 01:45:27,394 --> 01:45:29,828 you know, leaving something behind, 1870 01:45:29,829 --> 01:45:31,964 you know, leaving someone you love behind, 1871 01:45:31,965 --> 01:45:34,533 but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see 1872 01:45:34,534 --> 01:45:37,903 you can live at the same time as all the things you've lost, 1873 01:45:37,904 --> 01:45:42,107 and that you can be happy even without them. 1874 01:45:42,108 --> 01:45:44,977 And tonight, I saw my son up there 1875 01:45:44,978 --> 01:45:48,714 and I understood for the first time in four years 1876 01:45:48,715 --> 01:45:50,849 that he's going to be okay. 1877 01:45:50,850 --> 01:45:52,918 And so, we're going to be okay. 1878 01:45:52,919 --> 01:45:54,687 And you did that, Mr Walliker. 1879 01:45:54,688 --> 01:45:56,089 It wasn't magic. 1880 01:45:57,023 --> 01:45:58,991 It was you. 1881 01:45:58,992 --> 01:46:03,729 So, I'll overlook your tendency to be a little aloof-- 1882 01:46:03,730 --> 01:46:05,798 Some might call it condescending. 1883 01:46:05,799 --> 01:46:07,599 Supercilious is a good word 1884 01:46:07,600 --> 01:46:11,471 and you probably don't hear it enough, but the point is... 1885 01:46:14,607 --> 01:46:15,675 thank you. 1886 01:46:17,844 --> 01:46:19,012 Mr Walliker? 1887 01:46:20,647 --> 01:46:23,048 We're going to The Spaniards for a drink. 1888 01:46:23,049 --> 01:46:26,752 Um, and if you wanted to come, 1889 01:46:26,753 --> 01:46:29,221 well, we'd be there 1890 01:46:29,222 --> 01:46:33,792 because that's where we'll be. 1891 01:46:33,793 --> 01:46:36,995 Can't be taught. Can't be taught. It was unbelievable. 1892 01:46:36,996 --> 01:46:38,897 - Mrs Darcy. - The flautists, an absolute triumph. 1893 01:46:38,898 --> 01:46:41,100 One of the best Christmas shows I've ever seen. 1894 01:46:41,101 --> 01:46:43,635 Christmas shows don't get much better than that. Extraordinary. 1895 01:46:43,636 --> 01:46:45,838 No, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that. 1896 01:46:45,839 --> 01:46:47,706 - Billy! How did it go? - Billy! 1897 01:46:47,707 --> 01:46:48,874 - I did a solo. - Oh! 1898 01:46:48,875 --> 01:46:50,175 Congratulations. 1899 01:46:50,176 --> 01:46:52,511 Come here. Have a squidge. 1900 01:46:52,512 --> 01:46:54,513 He was brilliant. 1901 01:46:54,514 --> 01:46:56,181 - Hello, Mabel. How are you? - Well done. I bet you were. 1902 01:46:56,182 --> 01:46:58,117 - Chloe has a video. - You look lovely. 1903 01:46:58,118 --> 01:46:59,752 - There's a video? - A video? 1904 01:46:59,753 --> 01:47:01,021 Chloe? Video? 1905 01:47:02,589 --> 01:47:03,889 Congratulations. 1906 01:47:03,890 --> 01:47:05,524 Hi. Uh, four, uh... 1907 01:47:05,525 --> 01:47:07,693 large glasses of white wine, please. 1908 01:47:07,694 --> 01:47:09,061 Wine. Wine. 1909 01:47:09,062 --> 01:47:11,130 Oh, house white. Party petrol. 1910 01:47:11,131 --> 01:47:13,766 - Bikram's here! - Your wine, ladies. 1911 01:47:13,767 --> 01:47:16,802 - What are you doing down there? - Nothing. 1912 01:47:16,803 --> 01:47:19,004 - Well, there we go. - Congratulations, darling. 1913 01:47:19,005 --> 01:47:21,040 - To Billy. - He was wonderful. Billy. 1914 01:47:21,041 --> 01:47:23,208 - Absolutely wonderful. - Yes. 1915 01:47:23,209 --> 01:47:26,512 But I can tell you, I... I knew from his glow it was a triumph. 1916 01:47:26,513 --> 01:47:28,147 No, honestly. 1917 01:47:28,148 --> 01:47:30,115 I mean, once you've tasted success... 1918 01:47:32,285 --> 01:47:34,153 You had literally one song, Tom. 1919 01:47:34,154 --> 01:47:36,689 Yes, you know, my mother always says 1920 01:47:36,690 --> 01:47:39,191 if you've got nothing nice to say, then shut the fuck up. 1921 01:47:39,192 --> 01:47:41,060 Your mother's right, so shut the fuck up. 1922 01:47:41,061 --> 01:47:43,095 We should never shut the fuck up. 1923 01:47:43,096 --> 01:47:45,564 Stop telling everyone else to shut the fuck up. 1924 01:47:45,565 --> 01:47:47,566 We can, yes. 1925 01:47:50,270 --> 01:47:52,871 - No. Come on. - Good overtaking. 1926 01:47:52,872 --> 01:47:54,673 No, I didn't. That was him. 1927 01:47:54,674 --> 01:47:56,543 Mum. That way. 1928 01:48:03,283 --> 01:48:04,751 Mr Walliker! 1929 01:48:06,686 --> 01:48:07,853 Aren't you coming in? 1930 01:48:07,854 --> 01:48:09,855 Well, actually, I was. I... 1931 01:48:09,856 --> 01:48:11,757 I wanted to say something to you, 1932 01:48:11,758 --> 01:48:13,258 but it's the wrong time. 1933 01:48:13,259 --> 01:48:15,661 You're there with everyone, and... 1934 01:48:15,662 --> 01:48:18,230 I'm better with people about 4 foot tall. 1935 01:48:18,231 --> 01:48:22,035 4'1". That's my sweet spot, as it turns out, so... 1936 01:48:23,136 --> 01:48:24,804 Where are you going? 1937 01:48:29,843 --> 01:48:32,678 Well, look, I really just wanted to discuss Newton. 1938 01:48:32,679 --> 01:48:34,313 Newton? 1939 01:48:34,314 --> 01:48:37,349 I mean, we already covered Newton's second law, gravity, 1940 01:48:37,350 --> 01:48:39,918 in the tree when you were pretending not to be stuck. 1941 01:48:39,919 --> 01:48:43,789 But the one that's always fascinated me isn't the second law. 1942 01:48:43,790 --> 01:48:46,959 I mean, any idiot can see that an apple's gonna fall down. 1943 01:48:46,960 --> 01:48:48,293 What's it gonna do, fall up? 1944 01:48:48,294 --> 01:48:50,596 It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second. 1945 01:48:50,597 --> 01:48:53,799 No, the one that's always interested me is the third law. 1946 01:48:53,800 --> 01:48:55,300 You'll know what that is. 1947 01:48:55,301 --> 01:48:56,635 Yes. 1948 01:48:56,636 --> 01:48:59,605 Of course. But go on. 1949 01:48:59,606 --> 01:49:03,142 For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. 1950 01:49:03,143 --> 01:49:05,244 It's a fundamental law of our universe. 1951 01:49:05,245 --> 01:49:07,780 It's, uh... It's an inescapable fact of our existence, 1952 01:49:07,781 --> 01:49:09,883 and I was coming to say that you are... 1953 01:49:11,051 --> 01:49:14,087 this force, Mrs Darcy... 1954 01:49:15,321 --> 01:49:16,256 to me. 1955 01:49:18,191 --> 01:49:21,794 Equal and... opposite. 1956 01:49:21,795 --> 01:49:26,299 And just as Newton predicted, it's irresistible. 1957 01:49:28,835 --> 01:49:29,803 I see it. 1958 01:49:32,105 --> 01:49:34,640 Right now, just standing here, I feel it, 1959 01:49:34,641 --> 01:49:38,077 and it's as real to me as the things I loved when I was a boy 1960 01:49:38,078 --> 01:49:40,079 and first started looking at the world. 1961 01:49:40,080 --> 01:49:42,715 You see, it's not really order 1962 01:49:42,716 --> 01:49:46,051 that we science people fall in love with, Mrs Darcy, 1963 01:49:46,052 --> 01:49:48,121 it's the beauty in things. 1964 01:49:50,857 --> 01:49:52,125 The beauty, 1965 01:49:52,892 --> 01:49:54,227 to be specific... 1966 01:49:57,864 --> 01:49:59,199 in you. 1967 01:50:03,903 --> 01:50:05,205 Oh. 1968 01:50:06,072 --> 01:50:08,407 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 1969 01:50:08,408 --> 01:50:10,342 - I don't know what I was thinking. - No, no. 1970 01:50:10,343 --> 01:50:12,344 This is exactly why I decided not to come in. 1971 01:50:12,345 --> 01:50:14,346 I've clearly got entirely the wrong end of the-- 1972 01:50:14,347 --> 01:50:15,981 - Mr Walliker... - Look, I just want you to know 1973 01:50:15,982 --> 01:50:17,950 that this is not going to be awkward at all. At all. 1974 01:50:17,951 --> 01:50:20,686 - Please stop talking. - With Billy and school. 1975 01:50:20,687 --> 01:50:22,956 Let's just pretend this never happened, please. Let's just-- 1976 01:50:39,039 --> 01:50:41,407 {\an8}It was either that or a whistle, 1977 01:50:41,408 --> 01:50:44,444 {\an8}and I haven't got a whistle, Mr Walliker. 1978 01:50:46,913 --> 01:50:48,448 {\an8}Call me Scott, for God's sake. 1979 01:50:50,316 --> 01:50:51,851 {\an8}Yes, Mr Walliker. 1980 01:51:09,803 --> 01:51:12,905 {\an8}Right, shake it, shake it, shake it. No, go mad. 1981 01:51:12,906 --> 01:51:14,407 That's it. Now pour it out. 1982 01:51:15,475 --> 01:51:16,443 Very good. 1983 01:51:17,210 --> 01:51:19,278 Insert one cherry. 1984 01:51:19,279 --> 01:51:22,716 And that, my friends, is how we make a Dirty Bitch. 1985 01:51:24,784 --> 01:51:28,053 Christ. That may even be a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round. 1986 01:51:28,054 --> 01:51:30,957 Now, similar but not at all the same, 1987 01:51:31,825 --> 01:51:33,025 the Bad Mummy. 1988 01:51:33,026 --> 01:51:34,927 Little bit of vodka. 1989 01:51:34,928 --> 01:51:36,362 - Yeah? - Come here. 1990 01:51:36,363 --> 01:51:38,365 Okay, you're in charge. 1991 01:51:44,037 --> 01:51:45,938 Is that who I think it is? 1992 01:51:45,939 --> 01:51:48,140 So they tell me, yeah. What do you think? 1993 01:51:48,141 --> 01:51:50,376 You have sad eyes, angelo mio. 1994 01:51:50,377 --> 01:51:53,045 Why so sad? They make me sad. 1995 01:51:53,046 --> 01:51:54,813 I want to see the smile. 1996 01:51:54,814 --> 01:51:56,015 Stop it. 1997 01:51:56,016 --> 01:51:57,816 He's 16! 1998 01:51:57,817 --> 01:51:59,518 Yeah. Late starter. 1999 01:51:59,519 --> 01:52:01,320 Where in Italy are you from? 2000 01:52:01,321 --> 01:52:03,188 - Bologna. - Bologna. 2001 01:52:03,189 --> 01:52:04,390 - Yeah. - Say it again. 2002 01:52:04,391 --> 01:52:06,225 - Bologna. - Bologna. 2003 01:52:06,226 --> 01:52:08,127 Enzo, the kids are gonna watch a movie upstairs. You coming? 2004 01:52:08,128 --> 01:52:09,262 He'll stay. 2005 01:52:11,031 --> 01:52:11,998 Boys. 2006 01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:15,367 I think you're proud. 2007 01:52:15,368 --> 01:52:17,236 Relief, really, Jones. 2008 01:52:17,237 --> 01:52:18,972 Kin, as you said. 2009 01:52:20,407 --> 01:52:22,074 - Enzo. - Yeah? 2010 01:52:22,075 --> 01:52:23,409 Vieni qua. 2011 01:52:23,410 --> 01:52:25,010 - I beg your pardon. - Okay. 2012 01:52:25,011 --> 01:52:27,112 - Ciao. - Ciao. 2013 01:52:27,113 --> 01:52:29,048 This is your hostess 2014 01:52:29,049 --> 01:52:32,085 and one of the great loves of your father's life, Bridget Jones. 2015 01:52:34,954 --> 01:52:36,388 Ooh! 2016 01:52:36,389 --> 01:52:39,091 It's nice to meet you, Enzo. 2017 01:52:40,593 --> 01:52:43,295 He says it is a great honour to meet you. 2018 01:52:43,296 --> 01:52:46,566 Oh! 2019 01:52:48,468 --> 01:52:51,136 And then he says that those are 2020 01:52:51,137 --> 01:52:53,440 very, very silly little boots. 2021 01:52:56,576 --> 01:52:58,978 You have incredible posture. 2022 01:53:00,146 --> 01:53:01,447 You're not Danish, are you? 2023 01:53:01,448 --> 01:53:03,282 Well, I can be anything you want. 2024 01:53:03,283 --> 01:53:05,451 It is, isn't it? I know, and it's working really well for you, 2025 01:53:05,452 --> 01:53:07,553 but all I'm saying is maybe it's time for a rebrand. 2026 01:53:07,554 --> 01:53:09,588 Have you ever thought about having a pixie cut? 2027 01:53:09,589 --> 01:53:11,056 No. 2028 01:53:11,057 --> 01:53:12,391 Oh, you have the face for it. 2029 01:53:12,392 --> 01:53:14,426 And it's utterly changed my life. 2030 01:53:14,427 --> 01:53:17,029 Nonsense, Pam. You're perfect just as you are. 2031 01:53:17,030 --> 01:53:18,865 Is that a Dirty Bitch? 2032 01:53:19,666 --> 01:53:21,433 Steady on. 2033 01:53:21,434 --> 01:53:24,136 Oh, yes, please. Yes, thank you very much. 2034 01:53:24,137 --> 01:53:25,938 Thanks. 2035 01:53:25,939 --> 01:53:27,439 - Just what the doctor ordered. - Me too. 2036 01:53:27,440 --> 01:53:30,242 - Always. Take a horn. - Give me the fucking horn. 2037 01:53:30,243 --> 01:53:32,011 - Thank you, thank you. - Yep. 2038 01:53:32,012 --> 01:53:35,481 - Mmm. Oh. - Mmm. Mmm. 2039 01:53:35,482 --> 01:53:38,984 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have done in the past 20 years without you lot. 2040 01:53:38,985 --> 01:53:41,520 - Twenty? - No, it's not. It's thirty? 2041 01:53:41,521 --> 01:53:43,489 Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest. 2042 01:53:43,490 --> 01:53:45,959 We've had some fucking fun though, haven't we? 2043 01:53:49,229 --> 01:53:50,897 We have. 2044 01:53:52,365 --> 01:53:55,934 Ten, nine, eight, 2045 01:53:55,935 --> 01:53:59,338 seven, six, five, 2046 01:53:59,339 --> 01:54:01,974 four, three, 2047 01:54:01,975 --> 01:54:04,109 two, one! 2048 01:54:04,110 --> 01:54:06,979 Happy New Year! 2049 01:54:10,984 --> 01:54:12,351 ♪ ...be forgot* 2050 01:54:12,352 --> 01:54:15,254 ♪ And never brought to mind?* 2051 01:54:15,255 --> 01:54:16,955 Happy New Year. 2052 01:54:16,956 --> 01:54:20,993 ♪ Should auld acquaintance Be forgot* 2053 01:54:20,994 --> 01:54:25,330 ♪ For the sake Of auld lang syne?* 2054 01:54:25,331 --> 01:54:29,568 ♪ For auld lang syne, my dear* 2055 01:54:29,569 --> 01:54:34,106 ♪ For auld lang syne* 2056 01:54:34,107 --> 01:54:38,610 ♪ We'll take a cup Of kindness yet* 2057 01:54:38,611 --> 01:54:42,981 ♪ For the sake Of auld lang syne* 2058 01:56:23,650 --> 01:56:25,151 I forgot to check. 2059 01:56:30,357 --> 01:56:31,291 Look. 2060 01:56:59,252 --> 01:57:00,286 Goodnight. 2061 01:57:19,406 --> 01:57:20,873 Ooh. 2062 01:57:20,874 --> 01:57:22,575 Bloody zip. 2063 01:57:27,514 --> 01:57:30,817 Bastard tyrannical dress people. 2064 01:57:35,722 --> 01:57:37,090 I've got it. 2065 01:57:40,293 --> 01:57:41,594 Thank you. 2066 01:57:47,367 --> 01:57:51,271 Happy New Year. 2067 01:58:32,779 --> 01:58:36,348 ♪ I could go back to The old place ♪ 2068 01:58:36,349 --> 01:58:39,752 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2069 01:58:39,753 --> 01:58:43,622 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2070 01:58:43,623 --> 01:58:46,892 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2071 01:58:46,893 --> 01:58:50,696 ♪ They say no need to Look behind me ♪ 2072 01:58:50,697 --> 01:58:54,266 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2073 01:58:54,267 --> 01:58:57,836 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2074 01:58:57,837 --> 01:59:02,541 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2075 01:59:09,883 --> 01:59:14,253 ♪ There's a lot of ground To cover ♪ 2076 01:59:14,254 --> 01:59:16,955 ♪ One foot and then the other ♪ 2077 01:59:16,956 --> 01:59:22,395 ♪ On my way, my way To somewhere new ♪ 2078 01:59:24,330 --> 01:59:27,866 ♪ A few false starts Can you forgive this ♪ 2079 01:59:27,867 --> 01:59:31,337 ♪ Cautious car and just bear with it ♪ 2080 01:59:31,338 --> 01:59:36,975 ♪ While it does what I thought it couldn't do ♪ 2081 01:59:36,976 --> 01:59:40,846 ♪ I could go back to The old place ♪ 2082 01:59:40,847 --> 01:59:44,383 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2083 01:59:44,384 --> 01:59:48,020 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2084 01:59:48,021 --> 01:59:51,423 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2085 01:59:51,424 --> 01:59:55,027 ♪ They say no need to Look behind me ♪ 2086 01:59:55,028 --> 01:59:58,564 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2087 01:59:58,565 --> 02:00:02,434 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2088 02:00:02,435 --> 02:00:07,039 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2089 02:00:12,445 --> 02:00:14,480 ♪ Mmm ♪ 2090 02:00:14,481 --> 02:00:18,450 ♪ Treading lightly Thinking slightly ♪ 2091 02:00:18,451 --> 02:00:21,820 ♪ It just might be It just might be ♪ 2092 02:00:21,821 --> 02:00:25,357 ♪ Treading lightly Thinking slightly ♪ 2093 02:00:25,358 --> 02:00:28,927 ♪ It just might be It just might be ♪ 2094 02:00:28,928 --> 02:00:30,863 ♪ It just might be ♪ 2095 02:00:30,864 --> 02:00:34,466 ♪ Oh, I can go back to The old place ♪ 2096 02:00:34,467 --> 02:00:38,070 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2097 02:00:38,071 --> 02:00:41,907 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2098 02:00:41,908 --> 02:00:45,377 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2099 02:00:45,378 --> 02:00:48,947 ♪ That there's no need to Look behind me ♪ 2100 02:00:48,948 --> 02:00:52,584 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2101 02:00:52,585 --> 02:00:56,321 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2102 02:00:56,322 --> 02:01:00,793 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2103 02:01:04,497 --> 02:01:06,433 ♪ Like it might be ♪ 2104 02:01:07,834 --> 02:01:10,569 ♪ Like it might be ♪ 2105 02:01:12,539 --> 02:01:16,810 ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪ 2106 02:01:19,713 --> 02:01:23,083 ♪ Might be, might be Might be ♪ 2107 02:01:34,694 --> 02:01:38,030 ♪ "Have you met Miss Jones?" ♪ 2108 02:01:38,031 --> 02:01:42,901 ♪ Someone said as We shook hands ♪ 2109 02:01:42,902 --> 02:01:48,575 ♪ She was just Miss Jones To me ♪ 2110 02:01:49,976 --> 02:01:54,113 ♪ And then I said "Miss Jones ♪ 2111 02:01:54,114 --> 02:01:58,117 ♪ You're a girl Who understands ♪ 2112 02:01:58,118 --> 02:02:04,423 ♪ I'm a man Who must be free" ♪ 2113 02:02:04,424 --> 02:02:08,427 ♪ And all at once I lost my breath ♪ 2114 02:02:08,428 --> 02:02:12,031 ♪ And all at once Was scared to death ♪ 2115 02:02:12,032 --> 02:02:14,700 ♪ And all at once ♪ 2116 02:02:14,701 --> 02:02:21,707 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪ 2117 02:02:21,708 --> 02:02:25,978 ♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪ 2118 02:02:25,979 --> 02:02:31,850 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die ♪ 2119 02:02:31,851 --> 02:02:34,487 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2120 02:02:36,756 --> 02:02:38,024 ♪ Whoa, fellas ♪ 2121 02:03:15,061 --> 02:03:18,897 ♪ And all at once I lost my breath ♪ 2122 02:03:18,898 --> 02:03:22,868 ♪ And all at once Was scared to death ♪ 2123 02:03:22,869 --> 02:03:25,504 ♪ And all at once ♪ 2124 02:03:25,505 --> 02:03:30,477 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪ 2125 02:03:32,112 --> 02:03:36,048 ♪ Now I've met Miss Jones ♪ 2126 02:03:36,049 --> 02:03:42,588 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die ♪ 2127 02:03:42,589 --> 02:03:45,492 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2128 02:03:46,693 --> 02:03:48,995 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2129 02:03:50,230 --> 02:03:52,699 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2130 02:03:54,701 --> 02:04:01,574 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2131 02:04:05,712 --> 02:04:07,013 ♪ Ha! ♪