1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,179 [Bridget] Fuck, fuck, fuck! So late! 4 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,815 [Billy] Mabel's put a scarf on the cat. 5 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:24,184 [Mabel] He's not a cat. He's my husband. 6 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,186 Where is he? 7 00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,189 -Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies? -"Ladies"? 8 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,324 [Mabel] Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork. 9 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,727 [Billy] There were three ladies, and they had an epic pillow fight. 10 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,396 -The fork had maple syrup on it. -Out of the way, darling. 11 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,864 -[Mabel clears throat] -Well, 12 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,533 it's obvious he's not coming, so I'll just stay home. 13 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,503 You said this was the one thing you had to leave the house for this year. 14 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,704 [Bridget sighs] You're right. I'm going. 15 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,406 Move, please, Mabes. 16 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,611 Fuck-- caccia. 17 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,346 Did we eat the focaccia? 18 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,751 [sighs] Well, we haven't got any vegetables. 19 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:02,355 But lucky you, you get to have frozen peas. Mmm. 20 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,624 All right. Come to the table. 21 00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:06,459 Come on. 22 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:10,930 One, two... 23 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,433 [Bridget] What am I going to do when I get to three? 24 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,934 -[smoke alarm blares] -[Bridget exclaiming] 25 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,569 [smoke alarm] Please enter alarm code. 26 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,371 [Bridget] Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck! 27 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,473 -Please enter alarm code. -No! Don't put the flames out. 28 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,509 -We can toast marshmallows. -Please enter alarm code. 29 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,377 Please-- 30 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,945 [gasps, sighs] 31 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:30,784 [sighs] 32 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,854 The tension of our bodies, 33 00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,258 -the scars of-- -[phone ringing] 34 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,826 [automated phone voice] Hello, Moto. 35 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,665 [woman] ...in-- in our longing. 36 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,267 Bridget Jones, always exciting. 37 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,803 -How's the skirt? -Daniel, hi. [sighs] 38 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,305 Just checking you have indeed forgotten about tonight. 39 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,842 That is hurtful, Jones. I have absolutely not forgotten. 40 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,644 -[audience shushes] -No. 41 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,746 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 42 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,748 -She's in the hospital. -[audience member] Oh. 43 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,950 -Primordial sweat. -I will be there 44 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:06,653 quicker than it took me to bring you to earth-shattering orgasm, 45 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,421 you filthy little harlot. 46 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,990 [audience murmuring] 47 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,861 Love you, Mummy. 48 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,530 "Mummy"? 49 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,965 Darling, clever Geminita. 50 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,701 I'm gonna have to rush. It's a family emergency. 51 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,703 But I am loving this one. 52 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,572 I think-- I think we all are, aren't we? 53 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,340 Call me later, yeah? 54 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,776 Oh, yeah. 55 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,579 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent. 56 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,280 Un-bunch those giant panties. 57 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,957 [Bridget groans] 58 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,725 [Bridget] Bloody zip manufacturers should be 59 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,861 cancelled for sociological bias. 60 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,598 It is actually impossible to do this on your own. 61 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,434 [sighs] Help. 62 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,541 -Ooh. Thank you, monkeys. -[horn honks] 63 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,909 Uncle Daniel! 64 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,477 Miniature Darcy, what's the news? 65 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,012 [Billy] Where are the ladies with the big-- 66 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,947 [Daniel] Hair? They couldn't make it, sadly. 67 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,749 They're, um... They're washing their hair. 68 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,384 All three? 69 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,952 Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see. 70 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,655 I thought you said no more models. 71 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,490 Geminita is not a model, Jones. 72 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,459 She is a poet and a healer, 73 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,627 and a model. 74 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,795 Come here. 75 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,764 Hell of a night for you. 76 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,701 Ugh, I can't go. The children need me. 77 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,102 Uncle Daniel! 78 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,904 You. Right. 79 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,440 Get a fork and some syrup. I'm gonna style you. 80 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,975 -[Billy] I found the cards. -[Daniel] Very good. Excellent. 81 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:40,046 Now then, we need to work on your bluffing and your cheating. 82 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,468 [Bridget] Life has its white notes... 83 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,874 and life has its black notes. 84 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,947 You look very beautiful tonight, Mrs Darcy. 85 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,350 Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Darcy. 86 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,390 [doorbell rings] 87 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,000 Bridget. 88 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,069 [Bridget] Very black notes. 89 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:38,972 Jolly good. Come in. Weather's been a bit shitty, hasn't it? 90 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,573 -Though the cricket this year has been... -Jeremy. 91 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,109 ...absolutely phenomenal. 92 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,980 [Bridget] This is what happened. 93 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,683 Mark Darcy, my husband, 94 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,818 father to Billy and Mabel, 95 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,687 died. 96 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,989 Or rather, was killed 97 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,426 in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission. 98 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,630 -Everybody's just upstairs. -Thanks. 99 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,666 [Bridget] And that was four years ago. Today, actually. 100 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,037 Brace yourself. It's a total fucking shit show. 101 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:16,743 [Bridget] And even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, 102 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:20,013 the world still struggles to find the right ones 103 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,949 when someone you love is gone. 104 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,751 Bridget, how are the children? 105 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,019 -[woman] Mmm. -Are they-- 106 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,921 Are they all right without you there? 107 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,990 -[guests murmuring] -No. It's fine. 108 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:34,060 Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen. 109 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,764 [Bridget] Maybe not. 110 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,866 Well, we don't make a thing about it. 111 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,935 We celebrate Mark's birthday instead. 112 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,069 [guests] Oh. 113 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,505 So, Bridget, still on your own? 114 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,140 [man] It's been four years now. 115 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,709 You're still in pretty good nick. Why no chap? 116 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,912 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard, being a middle-aged woman 117 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,547 -and finding yourself single. -[guests] Mmm. 118 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,951 Better if you're a bloke. Look at Binko Carruthers. 119 00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,552 He's no oil painting, 120 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,722 but the second Rosemary died, he was inundated. 121 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,559 Of course, they were all of a certain age, though, weren't they? 122 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,695 Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud? 123 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,064 -[laughs] -Hmm? 124 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,100 "A certain age"? What, do you mean our age? 125 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,202 -That is the most... -[Bridget] Shazzer now hosts 126 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,804 a podcast calledFed Up, 127 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,606 in which she has dinner with minor celebrities 128 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,142 while basically getting furious about everything. 129 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,210 ...sexist fucking universe we, unbelievably, 130 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,047 still continue to fucking inhabit. 131 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:30,483 [mouthing word] 132 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,687 I need to go to the toilet. 133 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,121 [guests] Oh. 134 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,190 [woman] Oh, dear. 135 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,261 Yeah, Jude. Yeah, I'm with her now. 136 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,997 [Jude] Well, Shaz, tell her to come to The Golden Cock. 137 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,300 No, no, no. The party. It's for Mark. 138 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,969 That's not a party. That's a fucking bin fire. 139 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,839 And you think that Mark would want you to stay here and be insulted 140 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,108 in the fucking sexism Olympics? 141 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,010 [Bridget's friends] To Mark. 142 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,244 -And to Bridget... -[Bridget] Aw. 143 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,746 ...and the rare pleasure of seeing you 144 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,247 -in something not made of terry towelling. 145 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,283 -[Shaz laughs] -[Bridget] Tom, still living 146 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,919 handsomely off his one hit single 147 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:10,290 which had a comeback recently in a 30-second video of a dog doing maths. 148 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,226 Now, of all things, a life coach. 149 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,995 Honestly, I'd say it was a bit of a breakthrough, 150 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,164 speaking as your psychologist. 151 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,933 [laughs] You're not my psychologist. 152 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,801 Well, I should be, yes. 153 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,570 According to the classic model, 154 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,772 you've actually made it to the fourth stage 155 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,609 -of the five stages of grief. -Wait. Isn't it seven stages? 156 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,145 What are you talking about, Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages. 157 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,180 -Isn't it five? -Well, I always thought it was four. 158 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,815 [Jude] It's definitely seven. 159 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,151 [Bridget] Jude, now CEO or COO 160 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,987 or CTO, definitely a C-something-O, 161 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,624 still regularly calling, in tears, from executive bathroom. 162 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:48,028 So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge. 163 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,330 -[Bridget] Oh. -[clears throat] Stage five. 164 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,932 It's acceptance, which basically means 165 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,169 -you just have to get laid. -Oh, my God. Shazzer's right. 166 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,239 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling, look at yourself. 167 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,641 You've become a born-again virgin. 168 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:05,045 If you don't get laid soon, your vagina will literally reseal itself. 169 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,047 [Shaz] Yeah, and that is a thing. 170 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,316 It's called labial adhesion. 171 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,985 [Bridget] Oh, my God! 172 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,188 I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake. 173 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,990 I don't want anyone else. 174 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,725 And even if I did, which I don't, 175 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,928 I'm non-viable, completely asexual, 176 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,030 and nobody will ever fancy me again. 177 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,799 -Ever, ever, ever. -No. No, no, no. 178 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,701 And I'm going to the toilet. 179 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,004 Crash and burn. That was a disaster. 180 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,205 Well, that was a fucking disaster. 181 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,642 [Bridget yawns] 182 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,778 Crikey. Have we been burgled? 183 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,014 [Daniel] We have not been burgled, Jones. No. 184 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,283 We have been marvellous. Now, tell me this. 185 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,821 For Tonya, do we think a kitten heel or a chunky wedge? 186 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,822 She's going to Wimbledon. 187 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,690 Wedge, obviously. 188 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,325 You may be right. 189 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,828 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue? 190 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,965 Ugh. God. No tongue. I have hung up my tongue. 191 00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,767 How were they? 192 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,335 Well, the girl is you. 193 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:06,706 Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me. 194 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,708 Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy. 195 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,243 She does that. 196 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,680 Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed until I'd married her rabbit. 197 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,016 -Hmm. -[Daniel] Which I was very happy to do. 198 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,984 That rabbit is not at all unfanciable. 199 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,386 [Bridget] Hmm. And Billy? 200 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,955 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he? 201 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,357 Still waters and all that. 202 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,726 As it happens, Jones, your son 203 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,062 and I have a number of shared interests. 204 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,398 Oh, God. Like what? 205 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,766 Models. 206 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,768 He showed me his, I showed him mine. 207 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,704 -Hmm. -And then we-- we talked about death. 208 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:38,738 Did you? 209 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,774 [Daniel] Yeah. I told him being dead was shit. 210 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,176 And that I should know because I was for a bit. 211 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,844 And then, uh... [sighs] 212 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,781 I gave him a hug 'cause he seemed a bit sad. 213 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,450 And then that made me sad because... [sighs] 214 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,152 -[Bridget] How is your boy? -[groans] 215 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,254 Enzo's, what? He's... 216 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,356 Uh, fuck knows, Jones. Fifteen, I think. 217 00:10:56,389 --> 00:11:01,294 Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up by digging out the cocktail shaker, 218 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,263 and I taught him how to make a Dirty Bitch. 219 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,864 Saved it for you. It's in the fridge. 220 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,200 -Goody. Have it for breakfast. -[phone rings] 221 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,302 Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. 222 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,904 Geminita. 223 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,206 Yeah, we're all done. All done. I'm on my way. 224 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,242 Well, as quick as I can. 225 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,013 Yes, like naughty old moth to eager young flame. 226 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,482 No, you hang up first. 227 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,318 And-- OK, kiss you back. 228 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,886 -[laughs] -[Daniel sighs] 229 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,189 [stammers] Yeah, OK. Louder. Yeah. [kisses] 230 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,057 -Oh, my God. -[phone closes] 231 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:34,160 [laughing] 232 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,496 Fuck off, Jones. OK, they're asleep. 233 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,932 Um... [sighs] ...it did take a bit of time. 234 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,067 But I-- Actually I showed them a video of Geminita 235 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,970 reciting one of her prose poems and they were out like a light. 236 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,271 [scoffs] 237 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,807 All right. 238 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:52,212 [sighs] What happens now? 239 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,081 I'm trying to remember how it worked with our babysitters. 240 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,952 I think you give me 20 quid and try and shag me, don't you? 241 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:02,255 [Bridget] Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel. 242 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,991 At least some things never change. 243 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,361 It makes me sad though, Jones. You know... 244 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:13,433 two children and you all alone and effectively a nun. 245 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,803 Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun. 246 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,243 Bye, Daniel. 247 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,411 Yeah. 248 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,946 Thanks for tonight. 249 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,014 Yeah. 250 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,522 [Bridget] Why are these lights still on? 251 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,857 I thought you two were asleep. 252 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,261 Do you miss Dada sometimes? 253 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,396 I miss him all of the times. 254 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,531 [Mabel gasps] 255 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,237 [gasps] There's my owl. 256 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,139 [Bridget] Back to bed. Come on. 257 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,408 -Story, Mama? -[Bridget] Mm-hmm. 258 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:06,553 For the baby princess is as kind as she is fair. 259 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:13,426 And the baby prince is as gentle as he is handsome. 260 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,597 And wherever they go and whatever they do, 261 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,301 Mummy and Daddy will always love them. 262 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:26,006 -And Saliva. -[laughs, coughs] 263 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,142 She stinks, Mabes. 264 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,211 -[Mabel chuckles] -Oh! 265 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,946 [chuckles] 266 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,986 -Good night, darling. -Good night, Mama. 267 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,994 Good night. 268 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,498 [Billy] And all the thoughts... 269 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,071 And all the thoughts are going away. 270 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:02,475 They don't need little Billy and Mabel tonight. 271 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,912 The world will turn without them. 272 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:09,015 [Bridget and Mark] The stars will shine without them. 273 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:15,422 And all little Billy and Mabel need to do is rest and sleep. 274 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,391 Good night. 275 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,193 Night. 276 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,966 [Mark] Good night, Billy. 277 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,669 -Do the song, Daddy. Please. -[Mark] OK. 278 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:35,075 * I'll do anything For you, dear* 279 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,576 * Anything* 280 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:41,548 * For you mean everything To me* 281 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:45,085 [Netflix start-up sound playing] 282 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:46,386 [clicks] 283 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,489 All by myself 47. 284 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:52,959 Shitballs. 285 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,032 No. Cock-bollocking fuck-bubbles! 286 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,669 [Bridget growls] 287 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,138 [Bridget] Literally everyone else in the whole country 288 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,507 is laughing uproariously with their partners 289 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,410 while watching Netflix and having sex. 290 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,712 You don't want to wallow in it, darling. 291 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,281 [Bridget] And there they are again. 292 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,351 All the voices, all the advice. 293 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,353 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge. Wallow. 294 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:24,424 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E. 295 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,761 [laughing] It's I-E. It's not E-I. 296 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:31,431 No, it's, "I before E except after C." 297 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,033 Yes, exactly. 298 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,302 God, you really are such a T-W-T-A. 299 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,737 -[Tom] A what? -[Shaz laughs] 300 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,639 [Bridget] The thing about advice is, 301 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:43,510 no one tells you the same thing twice. 302 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,646 Bridget, you've got to put the children first. 303 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,383 [Bridget] Uh-huh. Thank you, Magda. Yes. 304 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,219 Put the children first. 305 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,454 Sod the children. 306 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,424 Put your own oxygen mask on first. 307 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,326 [Bridget] Right. Oxygen mask. 308 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,594 Got it. 309 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,530 One thing's for certain, Bridge. 310 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,166 Forget about sex. [hiccups] Oh. 311 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,734 [Bridget] OK. 312 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,602 No sex. 313 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,604 You need to have a lot of sex. 314 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,774 Yeah. Why don't you come back to work? 315 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:18,778 [Bridget] Thank you, Richard. I'll bear that in mind. 316 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,527 But as my dad said just before he died, 317 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,464 the big question is... 318 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,532 Can you survive? 319 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,536 I think so. 320 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,805 I have to. 321 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,142 I'm trying. 322 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,814 It's not enough to survive. You've got to live. 323 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351 Is that the Dalai Lama? 324 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,254 It's Harry Styles, I think. 325 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,689 -[door opens] -[Bridget's mother] Colin. 326 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,392 -Is that a sausage? -What sausage? 327 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:09,195 Bridget, you know what the doctor said about saturated fats. 328 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:13,299 Pam, could you take a photograph of us? Me and Bridget. 329 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,104 Um... 330 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,709 Colin, try not to do that with your chin. 331 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,644 I'm not doing anything with my chin. 332 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,584 Promise me you'll live, Bridget. 333 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,188 Smile! 334 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,263 [shutter clicks] 335 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,855 [sighs] 336 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,643 ["Modern Love" playing] 337 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,285 [Bridget] Bridget Jones, it's time to live. 338 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,690 * I know when to go out* 339 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,292 * Know when to stay in* 340 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,862 * Get things done* 341 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,368 * I catch a paper boy* 342 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,538 * But things Don't really change* 343 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,740 * I'm standing in the wind* 344 00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,443 * But I never wave bye-bye* 345 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,378 [yawns] 346 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,448 * But I try* 347 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,217 * I try* 348 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,855 * Never gonna fall for* 349 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:16,923 * Modern love* 350 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,692 * Walks beside me* 351 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,793 * Modern love* 352 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,394 * Walks on by* 353 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,495 * Modern love* 354 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,596 * Gets me to* 355 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,599 * The church on time* 356 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:27,801 * Church on time* 357 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,502 * Terrifies me* 358 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,537 * Church on time* 359 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,738 * Makes me party* 360 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,273 * Church on time* 361 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,876 * Puts my trust in God and man* 362 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,411 * God and man* 363 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,612 * No confession* 364 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:40,814 * God and man* 365 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,415 * No religion* 366 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,750 * God and man* 367 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,420 * Don't believe in modern love* 368 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,725 * It's not really work* 369 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:27,827 * It's just the power to charm* 370 00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:30,697 * I'm still standing in The wind* 371 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,566 * But I never wave bye-bye* 372 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,405 * But I try* 373 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,007 * I try* 374 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,944 * Never gonna fall for* 375 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,613 * Modern love* 376 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,847 * Walks beside me* 377 00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,349 * Modern love* 378 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,483 * Walks on by* 379 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,584 * Modern love* 380 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,653 * Gets me to the church* 381 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,488 * On time* 382 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,856 * Modern love...* 383 00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,658 [Bridget] Right. You've got your pencil case, 384 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,527 your lunch, your homework? 385 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,928 -Your keys? -[Bridget] Ooh. 386 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,030 -[Mabel blows recorder] -Well, 387 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,866 you've definitely got your recorder so that's good. 388 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,502 Your lovely picture of a spaceship. 389 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,438 It's a cat. 390 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,507 Oh, yes. Of course it is, darling. 391 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,809 What paints did you use? 392 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,712 I used the lipsticks with the C's on them. 393 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,480 -Oh. So creative. -Handbag? 394 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,948 Oh, fuck a duck. 395 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,516 [postman] Hello, Billy. 396 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,651 [Billy] Morning. 397 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,453 [postman] Hello, Mabel. 398 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,454 Morning, Bridget. 399 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,555 Hi. 400 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:29,956 Just the usual crap. 401 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,625 Are you going to be my new daddy? 402 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,663 -[child 1] No, Mum! -[child 2] No! Mum! 403 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:37,864 When I signed up for having children, 404 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,532 I did not sign up to be ruled by 405 00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,468 a gaggle of computer crackheads. 406 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,769 Well, guess what? 407 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,904 I've had you, I've brought you up, 408 00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,073 and I've changed my mind! 409 00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:50,810 [children] No! No, no, no! 410 00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,813 Don't you touch those or I'll fucking enter you in Squid Game. 411 00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:54,881 Here, darling. 412 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,716 -Come, come. -Mum! 413 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,451 Why don't we ever say hello? 414 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,087 [Bridget] Oh. Important life lesson, darling. 415 00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:03,456 Never meet your heroes. 416 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,997 [Bridget] Starting today, will not set things on fire, 417 00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:15,168 will responsibly reset passwords not to include the word "fuckwit," 418 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,838 and will not be frightened of the school mums... 419 00:22:18,872 --> 00:22:20,473 Hi. 420 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,977 ...in particular, Perfect Nicolette... 421 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,712 [whistle blows] 422 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,881 ...with her perfect twins. 423 00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:29,783 [whistle blowing] 424 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,819 Move the car! There's no parking in front of the school. 425 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,654 -How are you? -What? 426 00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,823 I-I thought you were in LA. 427 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,993 -Right. -Mr Walliker? 428 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,029 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been selected for the choir for some reason. 429 00:22:43,063 --> 00:22:45,065 -Correct. -Well, how can that be? 430 00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:47,567 Because he can't sing. Anything else, Mrs Soltani-Watkins? 431 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,570 Mr Walliker, if you have failed to recognise Eros's obvious talents, 432 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,472 -that's hardly his fault. -It's really quite simple. 433 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,075 The choir, like everything else in nature, is chosen on merit. 434 00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:57,477 Yeah, natural selection. 435 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,879 If Eros wants to put in the work, he's welcome to audition again. 436 00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:01,881 If you'll excuse me. [blows whistle] Bike! 437 00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:03,683 -Bike! Not there. Not there. -[scoffs] 438 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:05,051 Who's that? 439 00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,153 Oh. New science teacher. Mr Walliker. 440 00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:08,688 [Bridget] Instant hero. 441 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,490 Unbelievably rude. 442 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,758 He's awful. 443 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:14,127 Move along, please. Right away! 444 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,498 You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath. 445 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:22,168 You don't see me unfolding deck chairs and unwrapping sandwiches, do you? 446 00:23:22,202 --> 00:23:25,038 Move it inside! It's choir in eight minutes. 447 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,741 Mr Walliker. Hello. 448 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,042 I don't believe we've met. 449 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,610 I'm Billy Darcy's mum. 450 00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,113 The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus. 451 00:23:33,146 --> 00:23:35,648 The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy. 452 00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:37,884 Mmm. An essential tool? 453 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,220 What an apt description. [chuckles] 454 00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,190 [blows whistle] Eros! Atticus! 455 00:23:44,224 --> 00:23:47,060 If you're late, you will regret it for the rest of your days. 456 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,495 -[Eros, Atticus whimper] -Sorry, sir! 457 00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:52,665 [bell rings] 458 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:56,236 No! 459 00:23:57,237 --> 00:23:58,838 She'll be back later. 460 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,073 We have a doctor's appointment. 461 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,741 I've got worms! 462 00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:05,111 Why is your granny wearing pyjamas? 463 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,715 [Bridget] That went well. 464 00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,586 "G-O-N-O"-- 465 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,221 [Bridget] That's lovely, darling. 466 00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:17,057 -"R-H"... -There you go. 467 00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:18,958 One tablet a day for the entire family, 468 00:24:18,992 --> 00:24:22,195 and if her itching doesn't stop, I suggest you get rid of that cat. 469 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,564 [clears throat] Have you got some help yet? 470 00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,599 I know it doesn't look it, but really, 471 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,035 -I've got it all in hand. -No, it doesn't look it. 472 00:24:29,069 --> 00:24:32,272 Apart from anything else, I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician. 473 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:35,975 And whilst I'm happy to step in, you do take my point. 474 00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:39,713 If you say "oxygen mask" to me again, I will hit you with this handbag. 475 00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:41,047 I am not afraid of handbags. 476 00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,183 You need something else to do. 477 00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:45,618 You need a reason to get out of those pyjamas. 478 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:47,721 Well, fashion's never really been your thing. 479 00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:49,856 -Rude. -Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan. 480 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:53,193 Bridget, in spite of all objective evidence to the contrary, 481 00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,195 you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman. 482 00:24:55,228 --> 00:24:57,731 And my professional advice to you is this. 483 00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,032 -You need-- -No. No, no, no. 484 00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:00,700 Please don't tell me to go and have sex. 485 00:25:00,734 --> 00:25:01,935 Oh, good Lord, no. 486 00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:04,070 [scoffs] No. 487 00:25:04,104 --> 00:25:06,606 Read a book. Clean out the kitchen drawers. 488 00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:08,875 Leave the pink bits well enough alone. 489 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:10,143 You'll be ready when you're ready. 490 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:12,946 No, my professional advice to you is this: 491 00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,281 go back to work. 492 00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:17,050 And how's your love life? 493 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,652 On fire. 494 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:23,123 "Sy-P-Lis." 495 00:25:26,126 --> 00:25:29,696 -[Bridget] Mmm. -Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis. 496 00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:30,830 Syphilis. 497 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:33,099 Mmm. Very good. Very good. 498 00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:36,169 And there's some delicious vegetarian alternatives here too. 499 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:38,004 [both chuckle] 500 00:25:38,038 --> 00:25:40,807 Floods, fires and famine. 501 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,810 As the world teeters on the edge of climate catastrophe, 502 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,646 sausages aren't the only thing we are grilling today. 503 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,316 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens joins us after the break. 504 00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:53,019 [theme music playing on TV] 505 00:25:53,053 --> 00:25:54,654 [phone rings] 506 00:25:54,688 --> 00:25:55,955 Hi. 507 00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,057 Oh, thank God you picked up. 508 00:25:57,090 --> 00:25:59,059 -[spits] -What's the matter? 509 00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:01,661 They've got the bloody Environment Secretary on in 45 seconds 510 00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:04,364 and they've got me asking her questions about bloody tea bags. 511 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,666 "What's the best way to recycle tea bags?" 512 00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:08,702 "Can you clean surfaces with tea"... 513 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:09,736 I need you, Bridget! 514 00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,671 OK. Uh... 515 00:26:11,705 --> 00:26:13,373 Ask her... [gasps] 516 00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:15,742 Ask her why there were no tax breaks for renewable energy 517 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,644 -in last week's budget. -Brilliant. 518 00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:20,180 She'll fob you off with some crap about economic constraints 519 00:26:20,213 --> 00:26:24,284 and then you nail her on oil and gas companies ring-fencing their profits. 520 00:26:24,317 --> 00:26:26,886 -Yes, I do. -[chuckles] She'll flap! 521 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,690 And then you nuke her arse on the government's support for fracking. 522 00:26:30,724 --> 00:26:31,825 [gasps] Ooh. 523 00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,760 I fracking love you, Bridget Jones. 524 00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:35,362 -Hi, Bridge. -Yes! 525 00:26:35,395 --> 00:26:39,199 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out about the tea bags though. 526 00:26:39,232 --> 00:26:41,167 -Love you. Bye. Bye. -Love you. Bye! [kisses] 527 00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:44,704 Welcome back. 528 00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:46,106 Our next guest is 529 00:26:46,139 --> 00:26:48,241 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens. 530 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:53,046 Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking. 531 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,015 Justify. 532 00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:56,416 And no fob-off! 533 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,056 Could you please put me through to Richard Finch's office? 534 00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:05,158 My name's Bridget Jones. 535 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:08,428 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks. 536 00:27:11,765 --> 00:27:12,899 [sighs] 537 00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,905 [video game beeps] 538 00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,880 Billy, I want to watch SpongeBob. 539 00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,482 Billy, come off that, please. 540 00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,184 You've had your screen time. 541 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,987 One, two... 542 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,422 But, Mummy, it's Sunday. 543 00:27:35,455 --> 00:27:36,322 No. 544 00:27:36,356 --> 00:27:37,424 Can I watch SpongeBob? 545 00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:40,160 May I watch SpongeBob. 546 00:27:40,193 --> 00:27:41,761 Yes? 547 00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,997 No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I." 548 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,165 May I watch SpongeBob? 549 00:27:45,198 --> 00:27:47,767 -No. -But, Mummy! 550 00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,336 No, no, no, no. 551 00:27:49,369 --> 00:27:52,005 No more screens, either of you. 552 00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:54,407 Screens have been proven to shorten attention spans and... 553 00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:56,109 -[phone chimes] -Ooh! 554 00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:57,944 No. 555 00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,113 Will you come and practise cricket with me in the garden? 556 00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:02,782 Mummy really needs to work, darling. Why don't you play with Mabel? 557 00:28:02,816 --> 00:28:05,752 She refuses to hit the ball. She says she feels sorry for Ball-y. 558 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:07,320 Ball-y. 559 00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,988 Darling, please go and play cricket with Billy. 560 00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:10,957 I may not! 561 00:28:12,959 --> 00:28:14,260 [video game beeps continue] 562 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:23,036 Is it too much to ask to get some bloody peace all by my bloody self 563 00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:24,971 for five bloody minutes? 564 00:28:25,005 --> 00:28:26,506 [Billy] Internet's down! 565 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,308 [Mabel] I want to watch SpongeBob. 566 00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:30,477 Tell Billy it's my turn. 567 00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:34,247 -[Billy] Mummy! -I don't want to be a mummy right now. 568 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,949 [Billy] You had it for ages! 569 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,485 [Mabel] I didn't even have it today. It's my turn! 570 00:28:38,518 --> 00:28:40,086 -[Billy] Mummy! -[Bridget screams] 571 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,388 [Billy] There's no Internet! 572 00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:44,224 I just want to sit down 573 00:28:44,257 --> 00:28:48,862 in echoing silence on my own for one moment. 574 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,364 -[Billy] Mummy! Mummy! -Just shut up! 575 00:28:51,398 --> 00:28:52,465 [clamouring stops] 576 00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,006 [music playing] 577 00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,243 [cartoon character 1] Shark bait! 578 00:29:03,276 --> 00:29:04,477 Come and get it! 579 00:29:04,511 --> 00:29:06,246 -[Billy chuckles] -[chuckles] 580 00:29:06,279 --> 00:29:07,814 [cartoon character 2] Okay. You asked for it! 581 00:29:07,847 --> 00:29:09,082 Miranda? 582 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:10,383 All right, Bridge? 583 00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:12,585 What're you doing here? 584 00:29:12,619 --> 00:29:15,855 So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House 585 00:29:15,889 --> 00:29:20,126 and it was so, so quiet, you know? 586 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,529 I just miss all this. 587 00:29:22,562 --> 00:29:28,301 Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life. 588 00:29:28,335 --> 00:29:30,003 Plenty of that here. 589 00:29:30,036 --> 00:29:31,271 You don't have any champagne. 590 00:29:31,304 --> 00:29:33,139 Top tip: 591 00:29:33,173 --> 00:29:36,343 always keep a cold bottle of champagne 592 00:29:36,376 --> 00:29:38,378 in the fridge for emergencies. 593 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,214 That's excellent advice. 594 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:42,449 Cards on the table, 595 00:29:42,482 --> 00:29:45,952 I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs. 596 00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:49,089 Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark 597 00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:50,256 to get sperm. 598 00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:51,591 -Oh. -Yeah. 599 00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:54,994 But I want what you have. All of this. 600 00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:59,232 But Soho House and-and Sunday papers and cold champagne-- 601 00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:00,600 You're free, Bridge. 602 00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,903 You're liberated from the tyranny of this. 603 00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:07,173 Do you know how many dating apps I use? 604 00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,408 Could you look sexy? 605 00:30:08,441 --> 00:30:10,043 Well, I mean... 606 00:30:10,076 --> 00:30:13,446 I might still brush up OK given enough time. 607 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,914 No, I mean for this photo. 608 00:30:14,948 --> 00:30:16,049 [shutter clicks] 609 00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:17,250 I've set you up on Tinder. 610 00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:19,185 -What? -You're welcome. 611 00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:21,454 -Oh, no, no, no, no, no. -Well, I've popped you down as a widow. 612 00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:23,456 It's so much more romantic and singular. 613 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,359 We all agree it's what you need. 614 00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:28,928 [Mabel] What's Tinder? 615 00:30:28,962 --> 00:30:30,196 It's... 616 00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:33,233 such a lovely day. 617 00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:36,936 Who wants to, um, go to the heath? 618 00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,239 -No, I don't wanna go! -No, SpongeBob! 619 00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:41,608 Oh, OK. That's no problem. 620 00:30:41,641 --> 00:30:43,109 Uh, sure. 621 00:30:43,143 --> 00:30:44,678 Um, you stay here, 622 00:30:44,711 --> 00:30:50,383 and I'll just, uh, take these chocolate buttons. Ooh! 623 00:30:50,417 --> 00:30:53,620 -Let's go, nutters! -Can't wait! 624 00:30:53,653 --> 00:30:56,089 Children and fresh air and white chocolate buttons. 625 00:30:56,122 --> 00:30:58,591 -I feel like Julie Andrews! -[phone beeps] 626 00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,493 Oh! I just got matched with someone. 627 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,228 Sorry, Mabel, could you just get off, actually, 628 00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:03,563 'cause you're killing my back. 629 00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:07,467 Uh, he's on a street corner... in a van. 630 00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:12,372 -He looks like Jason Statham... -Mmm. 631 00:31:12,405 --> 00:31:14,174 ...if you squint. 632 00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:15,508 In a bit, Bridge. 633 00:31:15,542 --> 00:31:17,110 Bye, kids. See you. 634 00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:18,645 -[both] Bye! -Bye. 635 00:31:20,380 --> 00:31:21,481 [makes whooshing noise] 636 00:31:24,317 --> 00:31:28,688 [Bridget] Oh, how everything calms down once you're outside in blue skies 637 00:31:28,722 --> 00:31:32,392 turning the children into biddable lemurs. 638 00:31:32,425 --> 00:31:36,496 Will obviously delete Tinder immediately. 639 00:31:36,529 --> 00:31:38,698 But perhaps a very quick look first. 640 00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:45,672 Keith? 641 00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,575 Who are you, Keith? 642 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:55,415 [gasps] Feel suddenly exposed to whole new world hiding in plain sight 643 00:31:55,448 --> 00:31:57,350 like Narnia through back of wardrobe, 644 00:31:57,384 --> 00:32:00,086 but with lion and witch shagging. 645 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,989 [Billy] Mummy! Mabel's stuck up the tree! 646 00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:05,158 -How'd she get up there? -[Mabel] Mummy! 647 00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,192 Coming! 648 00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:08,561 [gasps] 649 00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:11,698 Okay. 650 00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:14,134 No, it's... it's all right. 651 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:17,137 -[Billy] I can't get down either. -It's all right. I'm here. 652 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,439 Uh. 653 00:32:19,472 --> 00:32:21,441 [Walliker] Billy. Is that you? 654 00:32:21,474 --> 00:32:23,510 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker. 655 00:32:23,543 --> 00:32:25,478 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy? 656 00:32:25,512 --> 00:32:28,381 [sighs] Yep. Super. 657 00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:30,050 Just climbing a tree. 658 00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:32,052 -I can see that. -[Bridget chuckles] 659 00:32:32,085 --> 00:32:32,752 Having fun? 660 00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:35,221 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun. 661 00:32:35,255 --> 00:32:36,222 [breathes heavily] 662 00:32:37,824 --> 00:32:40,193 -You sure you don't need a hand? -No, no. 663 00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:41,728 As Einstein said, 664 00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:45,231 "What goes up must come down." 665 00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:47,067 -Newton. -Yes. 666 00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:49,202 Newton. [chuckles] 667 00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:50,570 We're going to die! 668 00:32:50,603 --> 00:32:53,206 No, we're not going to die. We're having fun. 669 00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:55,475 [Bridget] We are definitely going to die. 670 00:32:55,508 --> 00:32:57,777 Clearly you've got this nicely in hand. 671 00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,714 Look, there's a policeman. 672 00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:05,685 [Bridget] Oh, my God. 673 00:33:05,719 --> 00:33:08,054 I've climbed a magical man tree. 674 00:33:09,122 --> 00:33:10,290 -Are you stuck? -[Mabel] Yes! 675 00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:12,092 No. [chuckles] 676 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,527 -Do they need help? -Apparently not. 677 00:33:16,262 --> 00:33:18,298 So, I'll... I'll be off then. 678 00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:20,066 Bye-bye. 679 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,372 Okay. I'll be off too. 680 00:33:25,405 --> 00:33:27,540 Don't go away. 681 00:33:27,574 --> 00:33:29,642 [Bridget] No, seriously. Don't go away. 682 00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:32,212 Hang on. I'm coming. 683 00:33:33,313 --> 00:33:34,414 [heath ranger] Okay. Coming up. 684 00:33:34,447 --> 00:33:36,216 [straining] 685 00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,284 Uh... 686 00:33:38,318 --> 00:33:40,120 Hello. 687 00:33:40,153 --> 00:33:42,055 [heath ranger] Okay, just... Hang on. 688 00:33:43,156 --> 00:33:45,091 -[grunting] -[Bridget strains] 689 00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:48,194 Hello. 690 00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:49,396 Hi, mate. 691 00:33:49,429 --> 00:33:50,697 -Hi, what's your name? -Mabel. 692 00:33:50,730 --> 00:33:52,866 -Mabel. -I can't jump down. 693 00:33:52,899 --> 00:33:53,833 [Mabel chuckles] 694 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:56,302 Okay. Well, you sit down there. 695 00:33:56,336 --> 00:33:59,172 You get comfy, and I'm gonna go down there and catch you, OK? 696 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,409 -Okay, you ready? -Yeah. 697 00:34:02,442 --> 00:34:04,310 Three, two, one, go! 698 00:34:04,344 --> 00:34:07,280 -[Mabel] I did it! -[heath ranger] I've got you. Well done. 699 00:34:07,313 --> 00:34:08,848 All right, big man. Your turn. 700 00:34:08,882 --> 00:34:11,751 Okay. You got this, mate. There we go. 701 00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:13,153 -Next foot. -[Bridget] That's it, darling. 702 00:34:13,186 --> 00:34:15,422 [heath ranger] And I've got you. [grunts] 703 00:34:15,455 --> 00:34:17,223 Okay, Mum. 704 00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:18,525 -Okay. -[squeals] 705 00:34:18,558 --> 00:34:19,659 There we go. [chuckles] 706 00:34:19,693 --> 00:34:21,294 -Okay. -Okay. 707 00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:22,295 -[chuckles] -[grunts] 708 00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,198 -You all right? -[chuckling] Yes. 709 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:27,600 Yes. [chuckles] 710 00:34:28,368 --> 00:34:29,602 Okay. 711 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:31,604 Thank you. 712 00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:35,175 Thank you. 713 00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:35,875 It's all right. 714 00:34:37,677 --> 00:34:40,313 Uh, I'm Roxby. But you can call me Roxster. 715 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:42,515 Bridget Jones. 716 00:34:42,549 --> 00:34:44,284 But you can call her Mummy. 717 00:34:44,317 --> 00:34:46,353 Hmm. Okay. 718 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,188 [Roxster] Oh. 719 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:50,857 I think this is yours. 720 00:34:53,493 --> 00:34:54,627 Thanks. 721 00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:57,864 Anything else I can help with? 722 00:34:57,897 --> 00:34:59,332 [Bridget] God, yes. 723 00:34:59,366 --> 00:35:00,367 No. 724 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:02,802 Okay. 725 00:35:02,836 --> 00:35:05,205 It's nice to meet you, Roxy. [chuckles] 726 00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:06,906 It's Roxster. 727 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,342 [both chuckle] 728 00:35:09,376 --> 00:35:11,911 You too, Bridget Jones. 729 00:35:18,385 --> 00:35:21,254 [Bridget] Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis 730 00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:25,592 and reentering world of flirting simultaneously with workforce. 731 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,561 -Mrs Darcy. -Mr Walliker. 732 00:35:28,595 --> 00:35:32,365 Weapon at the ready, I see. [chuckles] 733 00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:35,669 Good to see you managed to extricate yourself from that tree. 734 00:35:35,702 --> 00:35:38,238 Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game. 735 00:35:38,271 --> 00:35:42,342 We're completely obsessed with the outdoors in our house. [chuckles] 736 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,311 Well, I'll have to put you down for our Outward Bound trip next term. 737 00:35:45,345 --> 00:35:46,780 Sounds like it'd be right up your street. 738 00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:48,448 [Bridget] Fucking fuck. 739 00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,517 Yeah. Good. 740 00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:53,353 Do you have my slime? I promised I'd show Cosmata. 741 00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:56,456 Oh. 742 00:35:58,992 --> 00:36:00,360 [Mabel] Hey, those are mine. 743 00:36:00,393 --> 00:36:01,795 Give them to me. 744 00:36:02,796 --> 00:36:03,930 [Mabel strains] 745 00:36:03,963 --> 00:36:07,400 They are actually hers. 746 00:36:07,434 --> 00:36:08,468 Well, in that case... 747 00:36:11,838 --> 00:36:12,906 [bell rings] 748 00:36:12,939 --> 00:36:14,708 [Perfect Nicolette] Bridget! 749 00:36:14,741 --> 00:36:16,443 You're dressed properly. 750 00:36:17,277 --> 00:36:18,545 Odd. 751 00:36:18,578 --> 00:36:20,413 Heading to a meeting. 752 00:36:20,447 --> 00:36:22,816 Thinking about going back to my old job. 753 00:36:22,849 --> 00:36:25,885 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down for Jobs Day then. 754 00:36:25,919 --> 00:36:27,687 [Bridget] Fucking fuckety fuck fuck. 755 00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:30,023 Yes, absolutely. 756 00:36:30,056 --> 00:36:32,959 [speaking French] Celestine, merci. C'est gentil. 757 00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:35,428 Actually, do you mind tidying this up a little bit? 758 00:36:35,462 --> 00:36:36,930 Sure. 759 00:36:36,963 --> 00:36:38,698 Uh, what about the children? Do you have a nanny? 760 00:36:38,732 --> 00:36:40,033 Not yet. 761 00:36:40,066 --> 00:36:42,769 Oh, I've got the perfect person. She's excellent. 762 00:36:42,802 --> 00:36:44,838 She's very pretty, but that doesn't matter, Bridget, 763 00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:46,906 because you don't have a husband, 764 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:49,843 so it's absolutely immaterial how pretty and perfect she is. [chuckles] 765 00:36:49,876 --> 00:36:51,978 -Sounds good. -There we go. 766 00:36:52,012 --> 00:36:54,414 -Francesca. -Sorry. 767 00:36:54,447 --> 00:36:55,749 Wonderful. 768 00:36:55,782 --> 00:36:57,851 It's nothing. I just threw it together. 769 00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,386 -Ah. -[kisses] 770 00:36:59,419 --> 00:37:01,354 Bridget? Your donation? 771 00:37:01,888 --> 00:37:03,423 You didn't forget? 772 00:37:03,456 --> 00:37:05,925 No. [chuckles] 773 00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:08,862 Certainly not. [chuckles] 774 00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:11,865 Uh, let's see. 775 00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:13,333 Here we are. 776 00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:16,536 Hummus. 777 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,004 And, uh... 778 00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:25,745 [Perfect Nicolette] Rice cakes. 779 00:37:25,779 --> 00:37:29,616 And look, they've even been opened already. 780 00:37:29,649 --> 00:37:30,917 [chuckles] 781 00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:33,019 -Lovely. -[phone beeps] 782 00:37:33,053 --> 00:37:36,656 Ah. Her name's Chloe, and she'll be with you at 6:30. 783 00:37:36,690 --> 00:37:37,724 [whistle blows] 784 00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,492 Raef! India! Get inside. 785 00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:40,927 That's enough chatting. 786 00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:44,064 Bridget Jones. 787 00:37:44,864 --> 00:37:46,066 Thank you. 788 00:38:17,831 --> 00:38:19,366 Four. 789 00:38:19,399 --> 00:38:20,100 [elevator] Four. 790 00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:37,717 -Three. -[elevator] Three. 791 00:38:37,751 --> 00:38:39,652 Thank you. 792 00:38:41,821 --> 00:38:43,490 [Bridget] This is Bridget Jones about to 793 00:38:43,523 --> 00:38:47,027 go into an actual in-person meeting. 794 00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:51,498 -Brenda Jones? -Oh, actually, it's-- 795 00:38:51,531 --> 00:38:54,167 Bridget Jones, there you are. Excellent. Quick, come with me. 796 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,436 -Thank you, Lizzie. -Thanks. 797 00:38:57,837 --> 00:38:59,873 Good to see ya. How have you been? 798 00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,809 You look hot. 799 00:39:02,842 --> 00:39:05,111 Oh. Thank you, Richard. [chuckles] 800 00:39:05,145 --> 00:39:08,481 But I think you'll find that sort of language is a little outmoded 801 00:39:08,515 --> 00:39:10,750 -in the workplace. -No, I mean flustered. 802 00:39:10,784 --> 00:39:12,485 Are you going through the, uh, you know? 803 00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:18,124 Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha. 804 00:39:18,158 --> 00:39:21,761 [Talitha] Richard, what am I supposed to do with this, huh? 805 00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:23,596 Does it climb? Does it stand on one leg? 806 00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:26,132 Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise. It doesn't do anything. 807 00:39:26,166 --> 00:39:28,635 [producer] He can't pull out. Who the fuck does he think he is? 808 00:39:28,668 --> 00:39:30,670 Arrogant, self-important prick. 809 00:39:30,704 --> 00:39:33,907 Tell that selfish arsehole he can rot in hell. 810 00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:35,809 The Dalai Lama's cancelled. 811 00:39:35,842 --> 00:39:37,877 Twat. Shit. 812 00:39:37,911 --> 00:39:40,980 Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air. 813 00:39:41,014 --> 00:39:42,749 We need a replacement. Let me make a call. 814 00:39:42,782 --> 00:39:44,050 I do Krav Maga with Fergie. 815 00:39:44,084 --> 00:39:45,819 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea? 816 00:39:45,852 --> 00:39:47,887 Duchess. She could be here in 45. 817 00:39:47,921 --> 00:39:51,725 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones. Best producer we've ever had. 818 00:39:51,758 --> 00:39:52,859 [Bridget] Oh. 819 00:39:52,892 --> 00:39:54,594 I'm sure you're very good too. 820 00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:55,762 Huge fan. 821 00:39:55,795 --> 00:39:56,996 Hold this. 822 00:39:57,030 --> 00:39:58,898 Loved your early work from Chechnya. 823 00:39:58,932 --> 00:40:02,502 [chuckles] Now I'm doing features on incontinent tortoises. 824 00:40:02,535 --> 00:40:03,770 Fergie. 825 00:40:03,803 --> 00:40:05,572 Are those glutes burning up? 826 00:40:05,605 --> 00:40:06,172 Hello. 827 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,608 -Hey. Sorry. -Right. 828 00:40:08,641 --> 00:40:12,012 Uh, right. Let's get rid of this set, please, now! 829 00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:14,014 So, what do you think? 830 00:40:14,047 --> 00:40:15,782 Can we lure you back? 831 00:40:15,815 --> 00:40:17,784 [Talitha] Fergie's in. 832 00:40:17,817 --> 00:40:21,054 Does anyone know how to get tortoise piss out of silk? 833 00:40:21,087 --> 00:40:23,656 Blotting and mild detergent. 834 00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,992 When can I start? 835 00:40:28,294 --> 00:40:31,097 [Bridget] Am rejoining ranks of London's employed 836 00:40:31,131 --> 00:40:34,801 and meaningfully contributing to society. 837 00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:39,673 Can walk with head held high and be role model for Billy and Mabel, 838 00:40:39,706 --> 00:40:44,244 saving them from otherwise certain future as alcoholic wards of the state. 839 00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:49,616 [Pamela] It's super that the television's invited you back. 840 00:40:49,649 --> 00:40:52,052 Of course, I always stayed at home when you were little. 841 00:40:52,085 --> 00:40:53,019 [Bridget] Classic Mum. 842 00:40:53,053 --> 00:40:54,688 Can't really talk, Mum. 843 00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:56,856 I've got to tidy up before the nanny gets here. 844 00:40:56,890 --> 00:40:58,224 A nanny? Really? 845 00:40:58,258 --> 00:41:01,861 Mummy doesn't love us anymore. Ow! 846 00:41:01,895 --> 00:41:04,731 [Bridget] Ever since Mum and Una moved into Audsley House, 847 00:41:04,764 --> 00:41:07,267 the retirement home we have to pretend is a hotel, 848 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,102 the phone calls have been the same. 849 00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:11,771 [Una] Any men on the horizon, Bridget? 850 00:41:11,805 --> 00:41:14,874 Well, there's got to be someone. Some people don't mind a widow. 851 00:41:14,908 --> 00:41:16,576 [Bridget] Stings a bit. 852 00:41:16,609 --> 00:41:18,578 [Pamela] Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget. 853 00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:21,614 And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen 854 00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:24,284 -doing salmon in the sous vide. -[phone beeps] 855 00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:26,619 I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag, 856 00:41:26,653 --> 00:41:28,988 but everybody's doing it these days. 857 00:41:29,022 --> 00:41:31,591 [Bridget] Roxster. Definite development. 858 00:41:31,624 --> 00:41:33,126 [Mum] Cooking's never really been your thing. 859 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:35,762 -[doorbell rings] -Oh, must go. Bye, Mum! 860 00:41:35,795 --> 00:41:36,796 [Pamela] Bye, bye. 861 00:41:36,830 --> 00:41:38,198 Oh, God, it's her. 862 00:41:40,967 --> 00:41:42,569 Hi, I'm Chloe. 863 00:41:43,703 --> 00:41:44,671 Hello. 864 00:41:46,172 --> 00:41:47,974 [Bridget] What the actual fuck? 865 00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,643 She looks like a film star. 866 00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,145 Chloe, this is Mabel. 867 00:41:52,178 --> 00:41:54,914 Look, I can play the recorder with my nose. 868 00:41:54,948 --> 00:41:56,683 [plays recorder] 869 00:41:56,716 --> 00:41:59,019 Children, this is Chloe. 870 00:41:59,052 --> 00:42:01,021 She's going to come and help with everything. 871 00:42:01,054 --> 00:42:02,889 Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge, 872 00:42:02,922 --> 00:42:05,025 -but I've certainly seen worse. -Oh. 873 00:42:05,058 --> 00:42:07,994 Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius. 874 00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:11,898 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children. It adds undue pressure. 875 00:42:11,931 --> 00:42:14,000 Have you read How To Raise a Self-Driven Child? 876 00:42:14,034 --> 00:42:15,635 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list, 877 00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:18,972 so do not spoil the ending. [chuckles] 878 00:42:19,005 --> 00:42:20,740 Oh, not to worry, Billy. 879 00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:22,676 It's not about the result. It's about the journey. 880 00:42:22,709 --> 00:42:24,978 There's something to learn whether you get an A or a C. 881 00:42:25,011 --> 00:42:28,314 [chuckles] Billy has never had a C in... 882 00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:30,116 Who did this? 883 00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:32,185 Mr Walliker. 884 00:42:32,218 --> 00:42:35,722 I drew the earth and the atmosphere, and I put heaven over the top. 885 00:42:35,755 --> 00:42:38,892 And Mr Walliker said that heaven was a religious construct. 886 00:42:38,925 --> 00:42:40,193 And he gave me a C. 887 00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:42,228 [gasps] Well, Mr Walliker 888 00:42:42,262 --> 00:42:44,998 is a whistle-obsessed fascist 889 00:42:45,031 --> 00:42:48,234 with all the soul of a non-stick wok. 890 00:42:48,268 --> 00:42:50,670 [Mabel] Where did you hide the chocolate digestives? 891 00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:53,239 -I didn't hide... -[crashing] 892 00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:55,875 ...anything. 893 00:42:55,909 --> 00:42:57,243 [dishes crash] 894 00:42:57,277 --> 00:43:00,180 Well, plenty to do here. 895 00:43:00,213 --> 00:43:02,015 ["Worth It" playing] 896 00:43:02,048 --> 00:43:04,684 * If my body was a boat Could you steer that, sailor? * 897 00:43:04,718 --> 00:43:08,088 * Make it feel Like it's a 1960s Hollywood trailer...* 898 00:43:08,121 --> 00:43:11,825 [Bridget] Consumed with guilt re hideously perfect nanny, 899 00:43:11,858 --> 00:43:14,327 who children will obviously come to love more than hopeless mother 900 00:43:14,361 --> 00:43:16,262 -without film star hair. -[phone beeps] 901 00:43:16,296 --> 00:43:18,965 * Ooh, it's what I need Yes, 'cause* 902 00:43:18,998 --> 00:43:23,136 * I could love you* 903 00:43:23,169 --> 00:43:27,807 * If I really wanted to* 904 00:43:27,841 --> 00:43:31,244 * You could be Be my glass of wine* 905 00:43:31,277 --> 00:43:33,913 * When the sun set Help me exhale all the excess* 906 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:37,417 * Baby, bae, b-b-bae B-b-baby, would you* 907 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:39,919 -* Would you make it all right?* -[phone beeps] 908 00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:41,287 * Or maybe that much better?* 909 00:43:41,321 --> 00:43:42,989 * If you wanted You could make it* 910 00:43:43,023 --> 00:43:45,125 * All worth it, worth it Worth it, worth it* 911 00:43:45,158 --> 00:43:50,130 * Ooh, when I see the sun rising You make it that much better* 912 00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:52,999 * So I hope you're gonna make it All worth it, worth it...* 913 00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:56,403 [Bridget] And texting Roxster slowly became part of my life. 914 00:43:56,436 --> 00:44:00,473 A relationship with no necessity for actually meeting, 915 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:04,811 or arrangements, or sex, or any real life at all. 916 00:44:04,844 --> 00:44:08,982 - In other words, the perfect relationship. -[phone beeps] 917 00:44:09,015 --> 00:44:11,317 Is that the tree Adonis? 918 00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:14,387 Wait a minute. 919 00:44:14,421 --> 00:44:17,824 You wrote to him, "How are you liking Tinder?" 920 00:44:17,857 --> 00:44:20,293 Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull. 921 00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:24,197 He replied, "Don't know, only joined it to find you, Bridget Jones." 922 00:44:25,265 --> 00:44:27,400 -Shag him now. -Mm-mmm. 923 00:44:27,434 --> 00:44:30,270 Then he sent a smiley emoji 924 00:44:30,303 --> 00:44:34,207 and then you responded with the flag of Greece, 925 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:37,944 an abacus and a duck. 926 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,115 I panicked. 927 00:44:42,148 --> 00:44:43,383 [customer] Thank you. 928 00:44:43,416 --> 00:44:45,318 [checkout operator] Who's next? 929 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:48,088 Do you want to go for a drink? 930 00:44:48,121 --> 00:44:50,323 I'm so flattered. 931 00:44:50,357 --> 00:44:52,859 Um, but I've got a boyfriend. 932 00:44:52,892 --> 00:44:56,796 Well, sort of got a boyfriend. I think. 933 00:44:56,830 --> 00:45:00,033 Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um... 934 00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:03,370 no, thank you. 935 00:45:03,403 --> 00:45:05,805 No, it's part of the meal deal. 936 00:45:08,041 --> 00:45:09,175 [Miranda chuckles] 937 00:45:09,209 --> 00:45:10,310 [Talitha] Well, this one's easy. 938 00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:13,113 You absolutely must go. Obviously. 939 00:45:13,146 --> 00:45:16,516 But we've been texting for so long now. I can't meet him. 940 00:45:16,549 --> 00:45:18,451 I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day 941 00:45:18,485 --> 00:45:20,286 when they did letter writing for months and months 942 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:21,955 and then suddenly just got married. 943 00:45:21,988 --> 00:45:25,191 Bridget, sexting a man that you just met in a park 944 00:45:25,225 --> 00:45:26,960 is nothing like Jane Austen's day. 945 00:45:26,993 --> 00:45:29,829 -If you don't shag him, I will. -I can't. 946 00:45:29,863 --> 00:45:33,199 There is no possibility of being naked with a man at this point in my life. 947 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,402 You just need a little rebrand. 948 00:45:35,435 --> 00:45:37,103 You'll start by getting a slip. 949 00:45:37,137 --> 00:45:38,905 -A slip? -Yeah, with a slip, 950 00:45:38,938 --> 00:45:41,374 you can show off your arms, your legs, your décolletage, 951 00:45:41,408 --> 00:45:43,043 which are always the last to go. 952 00:45:43,076 --> 00:45:44,511 And keep the central area, 953 00:45:44,544 --> 00:45:47,414 which one might want to gloss over, glossed over. 954 00:45:47,447 --> 00:45:48,982 And get a Brazilian. 955 00:45:49,015 --> 00:45:50,450 God, no. 956 00:45:50,483 --> 00:45:52,218 I like a bit of coverage down there. 957 00:45:52,252 --> 00:45:54,120 Or run a comb through it at least. 958 00:45:54,154 --> 00:45:56,222 But also, do get a Brazilian. 959 00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:58,024 Just dust it. Dust it down. 960 00:45:58,992 --> 00:46:00,460 Okay, I'll go! 961 00:46:00,493 --> 00:46:03,296 But I'm not going to sleep with him. 962 00:46:04,931 --> 00:46:07,100 [Bridget] Are condoms meant to be coloured? 963 00:46:07,133 --> 00:46:09,102 Is hypersensitive good? 964 00:46:09,135 --> 00:46:11,471 Large? Small? Oh. 965 00:46:11,504 --> 00:46:14,908 Maybe just purchase a representative selection. 966 00:46:23,249 --> 00:46:24,317 -[till beeps] -Regular. 967 00:46:26,086 --> 00:46:27,420 Mmm, exotic flavours. 968 00:46:27,454 --> 00:46:28,555 [till beeps] 969 00:46:30,123 --> 00:46:31,224 Thin feel. 970 00:46:31,257 --> 00:46:32,359 [till beeps] 971 00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:34,894 -Extra-large. -[till beeps] 972 00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:37,597 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me. 973 00:46:39,499 --> 00:46:41,401 -[till beeps] -Lube. 974 00:46:42,602 --> 00:46:44,337 -[till beeps] -Pleasure Me again. 975 00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,016 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy. 976 00:47:05,058 --> 00:47:06,960 Hello, old friend. 977 00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:16,102 Hmm. 978 00:47:17,637 --> 00:47:18,938 [Bridget] Thanks for having the kids tonight. 979 00:47:18,972 --> 00:47:20,440 Always a pleasure, never a chore. 980 00:47:20,473 --> 00:47:21,908 I'll take them to school in the morning. 981 00:47:21,941 --> 00:47:25,912 So you can stay out as late as you want. 982 00:47:25,945 --> 00:47:28,048 Make up for four years of no shagging. 983 00:47:28,081 --> 00:47:29,449 It's only a drink. 984 00:47:32,185 --> 00:47:33,987 Too see-through? 985 00:47:34,020 --> 00:47:36,222 Mmm. Definitely. 986 00:47:36,256 --> 00:47:37,457 [Bridget sighs] OK. 987 00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:40,093 How about this? 988 00:47:42,228 --> 00:47:44,230 -[blows kiss] -OK. 989 00:47:44,264 --> 00:47:46,499 [Bridget] The reality suddenly completely terrifying, 990 00:47:46,533 --> 00:47:48,335 and Mark, and insane and flabby. 991 00:47:48,368 --> 00:47:49,602 And oh, God, oh, God. 992 00:47:49,636 --> 00:47:50,970 I can't. 993 00:47:51,004 --> 00:47:52,972 -I really can't. -Oh. What? What? 994 00:47:53,006 --> 00:47:56,009 -No, I just can't. -Aw. Hey, you can. 995 00:47:56,042 --> 00:48:00,080 You just need to think of it as widening your circle of friends. 996 00:48:00,113 --> 00:48:01,181 That's all. 997 00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:03,950 [Shazzer] Hmm? 998 00:48:03,983 --> 00:48:05,251 Come on. 999 00:48:05,285 --> 00:48:07,354 Put on the dress, get out of here 1000 00:48:07,387 --> 00:48:09,589 and widen your fucking circle. 1001 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:30,610 [Bridget] Oh, God. Look at him. 1002 00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:32,612 What if he's perfect? 1003 00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:43,156 -Hello. -[chuckles] 1004 00:48:43,189 --> 00:48:44,124 Hi. 1005 00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:50,163 There's a really great place around here that's been here for forever. 1006 00:48:50,196 --> 00:48:51,564 Do you know this area at all? 1007 00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:54,567 Mmm, I used to. 1008 00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:58,171 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger thing is just a day job. 1009 00:48:58,204 --> 00:49:01,007 -And my real passion is garbage. -[chuckles] 1010 00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,444 Really? 1011 00:49:04,477 --> 00:49:08,014 The technical term is garbologist. 1012 00:49:08,048 --> 00:49:11,384 I'm a biochemist. Studying to be one. 1013 00:49:11,418 --> 00:49:13,119 You're a student. 1014 00:49:13,153 --> 00:49:15,355 A late-in-life one, anyway. Yeah. 1015 00:49:15,388 --> 00:49:17,323 How late? 1016 00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:18,558 I'm 28. 1017 00:49:19,526 --> 00:49:21,127 I'm just kidding. 1018 00:49:21,161 --> 00:49:22,495 I'm 29. 1019 00:49:23,029 --> 00:49:24,631 [Bridget] Fuck. 1020 00:49:24,664 --> 00:49:27,300 Is he closer in age to me or to Billy? 1021 00:49:27,334 --> 00:49:28,568 What about you? 1022 00:49:29,836 --> 00:49:31,237 You are... 1023 00:49:31,271 --> 00:49:33,340 Slightly older. 1024 00:49:33,373 --> 00:49:36,476 I'm gonna say 35-ish. 1025 00:49:36,509 --> 00:49:38,078 Yes. 1026 00:49:38,111 --> 00:49:39,112 Bull's-eye. 1027 00:49:40,246 --> 00:49:41,648 Let's say 35. 1028 00:49:41,681 --> 00:49:43,149 -Mmm. Thirty-five it is. -Mm-hmm. 1029 00:49:45,118 --> 00:49:46,619 Is 35 all right? 1030 00:49:46,653 --> 00:49:48,555 I think older women, 1031 00:49:48,588 --> 00:49:51,324 ever so slightly older women, 1032 00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:54,094 have a wiser view on life. 1033 00:49:54,127 --> 00:49:56,363 You know, they're more experienced 1034 00:49:56,396 --> 00:49:59,666 and more emotionally mature. 1035 00:49:59,699 --> 00:50:01,534 [Bridget] Me in a nutshell. 1036 00:50:01,568 --> 00:50:04,537 I find that very attractive. 1037 00:50:27,327 --> 00:50:31,231 [Bridget] Oh, God. I have no idea how any of this works anymore. 1038 00:50:32,732 --> 00:50:34,601 Is it all right if I kiss you? 1039 00:50:37,704 --> 00:50:40,807 [Bridget] Aw. The generation who ask. 1040 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,176 I think that would be acceptable. 1041 00:51:27,654 --> 00:51:29,289 [breathing heavily] 1042 00:51:34,461 --> 00:51:36,596 Give me just one moment. 1043 00:51:36,629 --> 00:51:37,664 [chuckles] 1044 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,642 Oh, my God. 1045 00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:52,846 What are you doing? 1046 00:52:14,401 --> 00:52:16,603 ["Toes" playing] 1047 00:52:16,636 --> 00:52:19,773 * Put your hand down, boy* 1048 00:52:19,806 --> 00:52:22,942 * Welcome to my zoo* 1049 00:52:22,976 --> 00:52:26,546 * Put your head inside My big, black wild while* 1050 00:52:26,579 --> 00:52:29,683 * I can still help you* 1051 00:52:29,716 --> 00:52:32,786 * See the snake-baboon* 1052 00:52:32,819 --> 00:52:35,922 * Funky, chic and smooth* 1053 00:52:35,955 --> 00:52:39,659 * Honey, can you spy The divine ape-swine* 1054 00:52:39,693 --> 00:52:43,963 * 'Cause he can see you* 1055 00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:48,668 I... 1056 00:52:48,702 --> 00:52:49,803 You all right? 1057 00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:51,271 Yeah. It's just... 1058 00:52:53,306 --> 00:52:54,507 Yeah. Okay. 1059 00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:56,776 Wow. It's really tight. 1060 00:52:56,810 --> 00:52:57,977 [Bridget chuckles] 1061 00:53:00,313 --> 00:53:04,284 * I'm a man I'm a twisted fool* 1062 00:53:04,317 --> 00:53:07,554 * My hands are twisted, too...* 1063 00:53:07,587 --> 00:53:09,422 [discordant piano notes] 1064 00:53:09,456 --> 00:53:11,791 -[Barney singing] * I am an animal...* -Oh, God. 1065 00:53:11,825 --> 00:53:14,294 * ...that starts with E* 1066 00:53:14,327 --> 00:53:15,562 -Mabel's. -Ah. 1067 00:53:15,595 --> 00:53:16,696 ["Toes" continues playing] 1068 00:53:16,730 --> 00:53:17,964 * I'm a man* 1069 00:53:17,997 --> 00:53:20,767 * I'm a twisted fool* 1070 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,937 * My hands are twisted too* 1071 00:53:23,970 --> 00:53:26,406 * Five fingers Two black hooves* 1072 00:53:26,439 --> 00:53:27,741 You make me so hard, baby. 1073 00:53:27,774 --> 00:53:30,543 [breathes heavily] You make me hard. 1074 00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:33,413 What? 1075 00:53:33,446 --> 00:53:34,681 [laughing] 1076 00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:36,916 * Got toes and I can smile* 1077 00:53:36,950 --> 00:53:42,022 * I'm crooked but upright* 1078 00:53:56,736 --> 00:53:57,837 [sighs] 1079 00:54:10,617 --> 00:54:12,018 [chuckles] 1080 00:54:12,052 --> 00:54:14,354 How did that happen? I'm using protection. 1081 00:54:14,387 --> 00:54:15,555 [laughing] 1082 00:54:15,588 --> 00:54:16,823 ["Pearls" playing] 1083 00:54:16,856 --> 00:54:22,729 * La, la, la, la Whoo* 1084 00:54:22,762 --> 00:54:24,698 * I'm so nine-to-five* 1085 00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:26,032 -Hi, Bridge. -Morning. 1086 00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:27,701 I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's 1087 00:54:27,734 --> 00:54:29,736 requests for today's show. 1088 00:54:29,769 --> 00:54:31,805 -Seriously? [gasps] -Yeah. 1089 00:54:31,838 --> 00:54:33,773 -It's big. -Yeah. 1090 00:54:33,807 --> 00:54:36,009 -A relaxation corner. -Uh-huh. 1091 00:54:36,042 --> 00:54:38,378 Three full-length mirrors. 1092 00:54:38,411 --> 00:54:41,448 And he'll only use La Mer for some reason? 1093 00:54:41,481 --> 00:54:42,916 [chuckles] I know. 1094 00:54:42,949 --> 00:54:45,518 -Ooh. Three, please. -[elevator] Three. 1095 00:54:45,552 --> 00:54:47,420 Did you have sex last night? 1096 00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:49,656 What? No. 1097 00:54:49,689 --> 00:54:51,057 * Won't you take a hold of me* 1098 00:54:51,091 --> 00:54:53,626 Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in. 1099 00:54:53,660 --> 00:54:56,529 And, apparently, he won't drink Evian, only Icelandic water. 1100 00:54:56,563 --> 00:54:58,832 And it's got to have lots of alkalines. 1101 00:54:59,766 --> 00:55:01,001 Or no alkalines. 1102 00:55:01,768 --> 00:55:02,936 Um... 1103 00:55:03,903 --> 00:55:05,672 Did you have sex last night? 1104 00:55:05,705 --> 00:55:07,640 What? No! 1105 00:55:07,674 --> 00:55:09,509 * La, la, la, la* 1106 00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:11,077 [grunts] God! 1107 00:55:11,111 --> 00:55:13,513 Tape measure, please. Quick. 1108 00:55:13,546 --> 00:55:18,718 The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres from the floor for Ricky. 1109 00:55:18,752 --> 00:55:20,420 Did you have sex last night? 1110 00:55:23,423 --> 00:55:26,960 [groans] Yes. I did. Okay? I did. 1111 00:55:26,993 --> 00:55:31,898 I had a full night of utterly mind-blowing sex 1112 00:55:31,931 --> 00:55:36,770 with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adonis who might be slightly younger, probably. 1113 00:55:36,803 --> 00:55:40,707 And it was amazing! 1114 00:55:40,740 --> 00:55:42,409 Okay? 1115 00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:44,144 So what? 1116 00:55:46,746 --> 00:55:48,081 [audience applauds] 1117 00:55:51,217 --> 00:55:52,585 [cheering] 1118 00:55:52,619 --> 00:55:55,822 * Lost in romance* 1119 00:55:55,855 --> 00:55:58,458 * Let's just dance, ooh* 1120 00:55:58,491 --> 00:56:00,593 * Shake it till the pearls Get lost* 1121 00:56:00,627 --> 00:56:02,595 * La, la, la, la* 1122 00:56:02,629 --> 00:56:04,731 [Bridget] Am not only mother and sexual being, 1123 00:56:04,764 --> 00:56:07,967 but also capable working woman at the top of her game. 1124 00:56:08,001 --> 00:56:10,003 So take that, Chloe. 1125 00:56:10,036 --> 00:56:13,473 I've done the macaroni and cheese, but with butternut squash instead. 1126 00:56:13,506 --> 00:56:15,975 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to move to the top in about 20 minutes. 1127 00:56:16,009 --> 00:56:18,144 Good. Good. Right. 1128 00:56:18,178 --> 00:56:20,580 It's just how I would do it. 1129 00:56:20,613 --> 00:56:22,048 Um... Oh, Chloe, 1130 00:56:22,082 --> 00:56:24,217 uh, it would be really helpful 1131 00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,619 to have their water bottles done the night before. 1132 00:56:26,653 --> 00:56:28,154 In the fridge. Top right. 1133 00:56:28,188 --> 00:56:29,756 Where the expired milk was. 1134 00:56:29,789 --> 00:56:33,493 Oh, great. Great. Um... 1135 00:56:33,526 --> 00:56:36,763 Billy will need something extra for snack tomorrow. 1136 00:56:36,796 --> 00:56:38,631 -He's got-- -Cricket, yeah. 1137 00:56:38,665 --> 00:56:40,767 In a snack bag. Labelled. By the bread bin. 1138 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,536 -We have a bread bin? -I have to leave, I'm afraid. 1139 00:56:43,570 --> 00:56:45,538 Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays. 1140 00:56:45,572 --> 00:56:48,008 6:45 sharp, but earlier to get the spot you want. 1141 00:56:48,041 --> 00:56:50,043 Oh. [chuckles] 'Course. 1142 00:56:50,076 --> 00:56:52,645 You and Graham enjoy your tai chi. 1143 00:56:52,679 --> 00:56:55,181 Oh, you forgot to leave out Billy's cricket things, 1144 00:56:55,215 --> 00:56:56,683 but never mind. I'll do it. 1145 00:56:56,716 --> 00:56:58,118 Bag packed by the door. 1146 00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:01,221 [sighs deeply] 1147 00:57:02,889 --> 00:57:04,224 [Bridget] Nevertheless, 1148 00:57:04,257 --> 00:57:07,660 secret to calmer, happier parenting: 1149 00:57:07,694 --> 00:57:09,662 -one-night stands. -[doorbell rings] 1150 00:57:11,097 --> 00:57:14,534 Although, it wasn't just one night. 1151 00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:17,570 Brought a pie. 1152 00:57:18,638 --> 00:57:19,939 Hmm. 1153 00:57:19,973 --> 00:57:21,975 ["What a Wonderful Thing Love Is" playing] 1154 00:57:23,977 --> 00:57:25,545 [Roxster chuckles] 1155 00:57:26,012 --> 00:57:27,747 That was funny. 1156 00:57:27,781 --> 00:57:30,550 [Bridget] And so, a moment turned into a date, 1157 00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:33,486 which turned into a kiss. 1158 00:57:35,121 --> 00:57:37,223 Which turned into a night. 1159 00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:40,560 * Ooh* 1160 00:57:40,593 --> 00:57:41,761 [Bridget chuckling] 1161 00:57:41,795 --> 00:57:46,666 * What a wonderful thing...* 1162 00:57:46,700 --> 00:57:50,103 [Bridget] And the night turned into a summer. 1163 00:57:50,136 --> 00:57:51,971 [Bridget, Roxster chuckling] 1164 00:57:52,005 --> 00:57:55,208 * I can see You standing there now* 1165 00:57:56,943 --> 00:57:58,978 * And you're The prettiest thing* 1166 00:57:59,012 --> 00:58:01,047 * In the crowd* 1167 00:58:02,682 --> 00:58:09,222 * And guess who Be laughing loud, but me* 1168 00:58:10,790 --> 00:58:15,028 * You made me see the love* 1169 00:58:16,062 --> 00:58:19,866 * That you're giving me* 1170 00:58:19,899 --> 00:58:21,801 * Baby...* 1171 00:58:21,835 --> 00:58:23,003 [laughing] 1172 00:58:23,036 --> 00:58:25,305 * Won't you hold my hand?* 1173 00:58:26,439 --> 00:58:31,077 * Just let me know that I'm your man* 1174 00:58:31,111 --> 00:58:34,948 * And show I'm not ashamed* 1175 00:58:34,981 --> 00:58:37,717 * I walk the floor* 1176 00:58:37,751 --> 00:58:41,888 * When you leave me* 1177 00:58:41,921 --> 00:58:43,156 [whooping] 1178 00:58:43,189 --> 00:58:45,325 * Hey, baby* 1179 00:58:46,793 --> 00:58:49,329 * I don't know about you* 1180 00:58:51,264 --> 00:58:55,201 * Let me tell you what I'm gonna do* 1181 00:58:56,403 --> 00:59:01,741 * I'm gonna try to make My dreams come true* 1182 00:59:01,775 --> 00:59:04,244 * With you* 1183 00:59:04,277 --> 00:59:05,912 Morning. Welcome back. 1184 00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:08,081 -Good morning, Mr Walliker. -Morning. 1185 00:59:08,114 --> 00:59:09,916 -Morning. -Mrs Darcy. 1186 00:59:09,949 --> 00:59:10,984 How were your summer holidays? 1187 00:59:11,017 --> 00:59:12,152 I have a new daddy now. 1188 00:59:12,185 --> 00:59:13,319 His name is Roxster, 1189 00:59:13,353 --> 00:59:15,021 and he always gives Mummy 1190 00:59:15,055 --> 00:59:16,690 a funny hairstyle in the morning. 1191 00:59:16,723 --> 00:59:18,825 Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel? 1192 00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:20,326 It is. 1193 00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:23,263 He's not a new daddy. He's just someone. 1194 00:59:25,231 --> 00:59:26,266 Off you go. 1195 00:59:28,101 --> 00:59:29,869 Well, it seems congratulations are in order. 1196 00:59:31,771 --> 00:59:33,206 [blows whistle] You! 1197 00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:35,375 -No. You two. Come on. -Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye. 1198 00:59:35,408 --> 00:59:37,077 [in French] Bisous, bisous, bisous. 1199 00:59:37,110 --> 00:59:39,846 Bridget, I emailed you from Anguilla about, um-- 1200 00:59:39,879 --> 00:59:42,849 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared. 1201 00:59:42,882 --> 00:59:47,287 I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this. [chuckles] 1202 00:59:48,221 --> 00:59:49,656 Thank you. [chuckles] 1203 00:59:51,925 --> 00:59:53,226 [chattering] 1204 00:59:53,259 --> 00:59:55,228 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Settle down. 1205 00:59:55,261 --> 00:59:57,097 Settle down. Thank you. 1206 00:59:57,130 --> 00:59:58,832 Um, so... 1207 00:59:58,865 --> 01:00:02,168 Last term, Daveed's dad was kind enough to talk to us 1208 01:00:02,202 --> 01:00:04,037 about being a thoracic surgeon, 1209 01:00:04,070 --> 01:00:06,339 and next week, Eugenie's mum will be in 1210 01:00:06,373 --> 01:00:09,209 to talk about her role as a nuclear physicist, 1211 01:00:09,242 --> 01:00:11,444 and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize. 1212 01:00:11,478 --> 01:00:14,814 But today, it's Billy's mum. 1213 01:00:14,848 --> 01:00:17,917 So, everyone, give a warm welcome to Mrs Darcy. 1214 01:00:17,951 --> 01:00:19,152 [applause] 1215 01:00:22,822 --> 01:00:23,790 Hello. 1216 01:00:26,826 --> 01:00:28,161 Um. [clears throat] 1217 01:00:28,194 --> 01:00:31,765 I am a television producer. 1218 01:00:31,798 --> 01:00:35,869 My mum says television is making society rot. 1219 01:00:35,902 --> 01:00:37,437 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla. 1220 01:00:37,470 --> 01:00:40,807 [Bridget] OK. May we have a volunteer? 1221 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:41,808 [sneezes] 1222 01:00:41,841 --> 01:00:43,710 Thank you, Esmeralda. 1223 01:00:51,484 --> 01:00:52,752 Right. 1224 01:00:52,786 --> 01:00:55,955 You can stand here. 1225 01:00:55,989 --> 01:00:57,190 Very good. 1226 01:00:57,223 --> 01:01:00,026 And you are going to say things like, 1227 01:01:00,060 --> 01:01:02,295 "Ten seconds to air!" 1228 01:01:02,328 --> 01:01:06,466 And I am going to be the interviewer for the day. 1229 01:01:07,834 --> 01:01:08,968 Now... 1230 01:01:09,002 --> 01:01:10,437 [Bridget grunts] 1231 01:01:12,872 --> 01:01:13,840 Just... 1232 01:01:15,342 --> 01:01:18,745 [sighs] Right. OK. 1233 01:01:18,778 --> 01:01:23,416 Perhaps Mr Walliker could be the person being interviewed. 1234 01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:25,952 Take a seat. 1235 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,922 Uh, righto. 1236 01:01:28,955 --> 01:01:30,824 Now, topic. 1237 01:01:32,959 --> 01:01:36,262 -The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm? -[chuckles] 1238 01:01:36,296 --> 01:01:37,497 Right, OK. 1239 01:01:39,499 --> 01:01:42,736 Ooh. Ten seconds to air! 1240 01:01:44,104 --> 01:01:45,939 Hello, this is Bridget Jones, 1241 01:01:45,972 --> 01:01:49,776 and I'm delighted to have Mr Walliker on the show today 1242 01:01:49,809 --> 01:01:53,880 to help us understand the life cycle of the fruit fly. 1243 01:01:53,913 --> 01:01:55,448 Um, well, it's a... 1244 01:01:55,482 --> 01:01:57,217 it's a pleasure to be on the show. 1245 01:01:57,250 --> 01:01:59,986 And, um, thank you for that question. 1246 01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:01,287 Um... [smacks lips] 1247 01:02:01,321 --> 01:02:03,223 Well, the, uh, the average... 1248 01:02:03,256 --> 01:02:04,924 [stammers] 1249 01:02:04,958 --> 01:02:06,092 Thank you. 1250 01:02:06,126 --> 01:02:08,061 Uh, the average fly takes about 1251 01:02:08,094 --> 01:02:09,362 two weeks to mature 1252 01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:13,099 and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days. 1253 01:02:13,133 --> 01:02:16,836 And then, like all living things, when it dies, it simply stops. 1254 01:02:16,870 --> 01:02:18,004 Cellular shutdown. 1255 01:02:18,038 --> 01:02:20,173 It falls, gradually decomposes, 1256 01:02:20,206 --> 01:02:22,208 and becomes part of the soil system. 1257 01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:24,277 But does it really end when it dies? 1258 01:02:26,212 --> 01:02:28,314 Exactly, Mr Walliker. 1259 01:02:28,348 --> 01:02:31,051 Surely there's more to the story. 1260 01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:36,456 Um, well. Well, not really. 1261 01:02:37,323 --> 01:02:39,492 But, yes. [chuckles] 1262 01:02:39,526 --> 01:02:44,364 After the body of the fruit fly stops working, 1263 01:02:44,397 --> 01:02:47,267 uh, then the soul of the fruit fly 1264 01:02:47,300 --> 01:02:50,236 will be able to be free, yes? 1265 01:02:50,270 --> 01:02:52,405 And that particular fruit fly 1266 01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:56,376 will always, in some senses, be with us. 1267 01:03:00,180 --> 01:03:03,149 -The soul of the fruit fly? -Hmm. 1268 01:03:03,183 --> 01:03:04,617 There's no evidence for a soul, 1269 01:03:04,651 --> 01:03:08,955 but the body is a perfect system of electrical pulses, 1270 01:03:08,988 --> 01:03:11,524 powered by the heart, which is in itself 1271 01:03:11,558 --> 01:03:14,494 -a pump, if you will-- -The soul, Mr Walliker, 1272 01:03:14,527 --> 01:03:17,464 is the essence of every living thing. 1273 01:03:17,497 --> 01:03:19,899 If you think we're simply bits of machinery 1274 01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:21,468 that can be switched on or off, 1275 01:03:21,501 --> 01:03:23,336 then where does art come from? 1276 01:03:23,370 --> 01:03:26,139 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry? 1277 01:03:26,172 --> 01:03:27,540 -Or magic? -Magic? 1278 01:03:27,574 --> 01:03:29,342 The fruit fly, when it dies, 1279 01:03:29,376 --> 01:03:32,278 will stay with its fruit fly family forever. 1280 01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:34,981 Keep the interview on point, Bridget. 1281 01:03:35,015 --> 01:03:36,649 [Walliker] This is utter nonsense. 1282 01:03:36,683 --> 01:03:40,487 Our world is governed by laws and fact. 1283 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,288 That's our universe. 1284 01:03:42,322 --> 01:03:44,190 -And it is rational. -Cut! 1285 01:03:44,224 --> 01:03:46,192 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy. 1286 01:03:46,226 --> 01:03:48,128 I believe in what's real. 1287 01:03:48,161 --> 01:03:49,396 Cut! 1288 01:03:50,563 --> 01:03:52,932 [Bridget] Off to Talitha's birthday. 1289 01:03:52,966 --> 01:03:55,468 Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight? 1290 01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:58,471 It's Thursday. I thought you and Graham had tai chi. 1291 01:03:58,505 --> 01:04:01,141 Won't kill him to miss a week, will it? 1292 01:04:01,174 --> 01:04:02,942 He's so uptight. 1293 01:04:04,577 --> 01:04:06,946 Oh, you look nice, Bridget. 1294 01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:08,481 Oh! [chuckles] 1295 01:04:08,515 --> 01:04:10,650 Ooh. [chuckling] 1296 01:04:11,985 --> 01:04:12,919 Oh, try this. 1297 01:04:19,959 --> 01:04:21,227 There. 1298 01:04:21,261 --> 01:04:22,595 Thanks, Chloe. 1299 01:04:25,331 --> 01:04:28,068 Billy! Mabes! Snacks on the table. 1300 01:04:32,272 --> 01:04:35,508 So where is he? Is he not coming? 1301 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:38,244 Oh, it's fine. He must have been held up. 1302 01:04:38,278 --> 01:04:40,980 -What? By some sort of rubbish emergency? -Oh. 1303 01:04:41,014 --> 01:04:43,016 -Probably had to finish his homework. -[Tom] Stop it. 1304 01:04:43,049 --> 01:04:44,517 Hope he gets here before story time. 1305 01:04:44,551 --> 01:04:46,386 [Bridget] Shut it! 1306 01:04:46,419 --> 01:04:48,288 [Tom] Come the fuck on, Bridge. 1307 01:04:48,321 --> 01:04:49,723 Does this guy actually exist 1308 01:04:49,756 --> 01:04:52,325 or is it, um, like that one time 1309 01:04:52,359 --> 01:04:53,960 that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee? 1310 01:04:53,993 --> 01:04:56,529 -It was him. It was. -Come on. Really? 1311 01:04:56,563 --> 01:04:58,264 -[Miranda] Happy birthday. -Lovely to see you. 1312 01:04:58,298 --> 01:05:00,300 What on earth are you holding? 1313 01:05:00,333 --> 01:05:02,135 Oh, Petula. [coos] 1314 01:05:02,168 --> 01:05:03,403 A present to myself 1315 01:05:03,436 --> 01:05:05,972 and I already prefer her to any human. 1316 01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:07,340 [gasps] Oh, hi. 1317 01:05:07,374 --> 01:05:08,575 [guests] * Happy birthday to you* 1318 01:05:08,608 --> 01:05:10,643 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby 1319 01:05:10,677 --> 01:05:12,445 while I feign surprise at the cake 1320 01:05:12,479 --> 01:05:15,248 that I chose and bought for myself. 1321 01:05:15,281 --> 01:05:17,217 Oh, look! Look at that! 1322 01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:19,452 * Happy birthday, dear Talitha* 1323 01:05:19,486 --> 01:05:21,388 Thank you. Oh, look. 1324 01:05:21,421 --> 01:05:26,426 * Happy birthday to you* 1325 01:05:26,459 --> 01:05:27,694 [guests cheering] 1326 01:05:29,329 --> 01:05:31,131 [glass clinks] 1327 01:05:31,164 --> 01:05:32,432 Thank you. 1328 01:05:32,465 --> 01:05:36,503 Thank you all so much for coming today 1329 01:05:36,536 --> 01:05:40,140 to help me celebrate, well, me. 1330 01:05:40,173 --> 01:05:41,374 [guests laughing] 1331 01:05:41,408 --> 01:05:42,776 We love you, Talitha. 1332 01:05:42,809 --> 01:05:44,978 -[all] Talitha! -[Tom] Talitha! Happy birthday. 1333 01:05:46,479 --> 01:05:48,314 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 1334 01:05:48,348 --> 01:05:50,450 [Bridget] Binko Carruthers. 1335 01:05:50,483 --> 01:05:52,419 Oh, please don't come over. Please don't. 1336 01:05:52,452 --> 01:05:53,753 Beep, beep. 1337 01:05:53,787 --> 01:05:57,524 There she is. The famous Bridget Jones. 1338 01:05:57,557 --> 01:06:00,593 So I told Cosmo I'd take you out for a spin. 1339 01:06:00,627 --> 01:06:01,594 How's Friday? 1340 01:06:01,628 --> 01:06:03,530 -[barks] -[yelps] 1341 01:06:03,563 --> 01:06:06,099 -[Tom] Fuck, no! -[guests clamour] 1342 01:06:06,132 --> 01:06:09,235 Jude, get in there. Come on, get the fuck in there! God, help! 1343 01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:11,204 Oh, my God. Oh! 1344 01:06:11,237 --> 01:06:13,540 -[Talitha] Petula, come on, darling. -[Tom] Petula! Petula! 1345 01:06:13,573 --> 01:06:14,607 ["Mad About the Boy" playing] 1346 01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:16,776 * I'm mad about the boy* 1347 01:06:19,679 --> 01:06:21,715 * And I know it's stupid* 1348 01:06:21,748 --> 01:06:24,617 * To be mad about the boy* 1349 01:06:24,651 --> 01:06:26,419 Who's that? 1350 01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:28,621 * I'm so ashamed of it* 1351 01:06:28,655 --> 01:06:33,626 * But must admit The sleepless nights I've had* 1352 01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:36,796 * About the boy* 1353 01:06:38,832 --> 01:06:40,233 [gasps] 1354 01:06:40,266 --> 01:06:42,402 * Ooh, ooh, ooh* 1355 01:06:42,435 --> 01:06:44,104 * On the silver screen...* 1356 01:06:44,137 --> 01:06:45,138 [guests cheering] 1357 01:06:47,140 --> 01:06:51,311 * He melts my foolish heart In every single scene * 1358 01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:56,483 -* Although I'm quite aware...* -[Talitha gasping] 1359 01:06:56,516 --> 01:06:58,485 * That here and there Are traces...* 1360 01:06:58,518 --> 01:07:00,553 -I think this belongs to you. -Thank you. 1361 01:07:01,488 --> 01:07:06,159 * About the boy* 1362 01:07:07,394 --> 01:07:08,828 [party guest whoops] 1363 01:07:08,862 --> 01:07:14,634 * Lord knows I'm not a fool girl* 1364 01:07:16,503 --> 01:07:17,804 -Hello. -Hi. 1365 01:07:17,837 --> 01:07:19,773 * I really shouldn't care* 1366 01:07:23,610 --> 01:07:27,614 * Lord knows I'm not a school girl* 1367 01:07:28,848 --> 01:07:31,551 * Who's in the flurry...* 1368 01:07:31,584 --> 01:07:33,353 Sorry I'm late. Buses were a nightmare. 1369 01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:34,587 It's fine. 1370 01:07:36,723 --> 01:07:38,358 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1371 01:07:38,391 --> 01:07:40,593 She just jumped out of my arms. 1372 01:07:40,627 --> 01:07:43,329 Do not apologise. 1373 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:45,165 Oh, my darling. 1374 01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:46,833 Let me help you out of those wet clothes. 1375 01:07:46,866 --> 01:07:48,902 No. Don't you dare redress him. 1376 01:07:48,935 --> 01:07:51,604 -You look gorgeous. -You look gorgeous. 1377 01:07:51,638 --> 01:07:55,108 * All because I'm mad* 1378 01:07:56,209 --> 01:08:01,614 * About the boy* 1379 01:08:01,648 --> 01:08:05,885 Now that, my darling, is what I call a rebrand. 1380 01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:09,756 Hi. I'm Roxster. 1381 01:08:10,623 --> 01:08:12,158 ["Praise You" playing] 1382 01:08:23,236 --> 01:08:24,137 [laughing] 1383 01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:31,578 * We've come a long Long way together* 1384 01:08:31,611 --> 01:08:33,680 I hope he's up to it, darling. 1385 01:08:33,713 --> 01:08:36,182 * Through the hard times And the good* 1386 01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:40,620 * I have to celebrate you Baby* 1387 01:08:40,653 --> 01:08:44,891 * I have to praise you like I should* 1388 01:08:44,924 --> 01:08:47,160 * I have to praise you* 1389 01:08:49,596 --> 01:08:51,331 * I have to praise you* 1390 01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,735 * I have to praise you* 1391 01:08:55,769 --> 01:08:58,238 -Hello. -Oh, fuck off. 1392 01:08:58,271 --> 01:09:02,475 * I have to praise you like I should* 1393 01:09:02,509 --> 01:09:04,344 * I have to praise you* 1394 01:09:11,418 --> 01:09:13,286 * I have to praise you* 1395 01:09:16,756 --> 01:09:18,358 ["I Want a Little Sugar In My Bowl" playing] 1396 01:09:18,391 --> 01:09:23,730 * I want a little sugar In my bowl* 1397 01:09:23,763 --> 01:09:25,398 [Bridget] If there is a God, 1398 01:09:25,432 --> 01:09:27,801 I'm sure he had more to deal with that night 1399 01:09:27,834 --> 01:09:29,969 than my personal happiness, 1400 01:09:30,003 --> 01:09:33,807 but it did feel like he'd taken the night off everything else 1401 01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,709 to focus on me. 1402 01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,913 But then... 1403 01:09:39,946 --> 01:09:41,815 I wish I had a time machine. 1404 01:09:41,848 --> 01:09:43,717 * Feel so funny* 1405 01:09:43,750 --> 01:09:48,755 * I feel so sad* 1406 01:09:48,788 --> 01:09:49,956 * What's the matter, baby?* 1407 01:09:49,989 --> 01:09:51,624 [Bridget] A time machine. 1408 01:09:51,658 --> 01:09:54,027 * Come on, save my soul* 1409 01:09:54,060 --> 01:09:56,496 [Bridget] In his moment of inebriated joy, 1410 01:09:56,529 --> 01:09:58,798 he had given himself away. 1411 01:10:02,635 --> 01:10:04,504 * In my bowl* 1412 01:10:04,537 --> 01:10:06,373 [Bridget] It mattered to him. 1413 01:10:06,406 --> 01:10:11,444 And with that came the elephant stomping heavily into the room. 1414 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:15,348 [birds chirping] 1415 01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:27,794 ["A Little Respect" playing] 1416 01:10:27,827 --> 01:10:30,030 * I try to discover...* 1417 01:10:30,063 --> 01:10:31,898 [Talitha] That happens to us all, James. 1418 01:10:31,931 --> 01:10:35,735 -[guest speaking] -[audience laughs] 1419 01:10:35,769 --> 01:10:38,004 [guest] Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day. 1420 01:10:38,038 --> 01:10:39,939 [guest, audience laughing] 1421 01:10:39,973 --> 01:10:43,576 [guest] Well, 60 in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. 1422 01:10:43,610 --> 01:10:47,580 [Talitha] Yeah, but you've got so many interesting characters in this show. 1423 01:10:47,614 --> 01:10:49,616 So this show is for... 1424 01:10:49,649 --> 01:10:50,984 [Bridget] Ghosting. 1425 01:10:51,017 --> 01:10:52,852 The practice of ending a relationship 1426 01:10:52,886 --> 01:10:54,754 by suddenly and without explanation 1427 01:10:54,788 --> 01:10:57,057 withdrawing from all communication. 1428 01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:02,062 * That you give me No reason why you...* 1429 01:11:02,095 --> 01:11:05,932 [Bridget] The slow unveiling of reality and rejection. 1430 01:11:05,965 --> 01:11:08,034 * That you give me no That you give me no* 1431 01:11:08,068 --> 01:11:10,837 * That you give me no That you give me no...* 1432 01:11:10,870 --> 01:11:12,539 [Bridget] The casual cruelty. 1433 01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,911 * I hear you calling* 1434 01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:23,016 * Oh, baby, please...* 1435 01:11:23,049 --> 01:11:25,051 -[phone beeps] -[Walliker blowing whistle] 1436 01:11:25,085 --> 01:11:29,389 * Give a little respect* 1437 01:11:29,422 --> 01:11:35,795 * To me* 1438 01:11:35,829 --> 01:11:38,465 * What religion or reason* 1439 01:11:38,498 --> 01:11:42,569 * Could cause a man To forsake his lover?* 1440 01:11:42,602 --> 01:11:44,070 * Don't you tell me no...* 1441 01:11:44,104 --> 01:11:46,139 [Bridget] Do not text when ghosted. 1442 01:11:46,172 --> 01:11:49,843 * Don't you tell me no Soul...* 1443 01:11:49,876 --> 01:11:52,078 [Bridget] Do not text when drunk. 1444 01:11:52,112 --> 01:11:55,115 * I hear you calling* 1445 01:11:56,116 --> 01:12:01,421 * Oh, baby, please* 1446 01:12:02,589 --> 01:12:06,426 * Give a little respect* 1447 01:12:06,459 --> 01:12:10,964 * To me* 1448 01:12:20,740 --> 01:12:22,175 Ghost the bastard back, Bridget. 1449 01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:25,011 Just let him disintegrate into nothingness. 1450 01:12:25,045 --> 01:12:26,913 It can be a jungle out there. 1451 01:12:26,946 --> 01:12:29,482 Yep. And I'm the giant panda, 1452 01:12:29,516 --> 01:12:32,852 sexually obsolete and destined to be alone forever. 1453 01:12:32,886 --> 01:12:36,122 No. You will adapt and survive like we all do. 1454 01:12:36,156 --> 01:12:39,526 I used to be on the cover of Vanity Fairin a flak jacket. 1455 01:12:39,559 --> 01:12:42,629 And now I'm on the cover of Good Housekeepingwith a pavlova. 1456 01:12:42,662 --> 01:12:43,697 Cathy... 1457 01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,566 where's your special stuff? 1458 01:12:47,901 --> 01:12:50,470 HD TV was an extinction-level event 1459 01:12:50,503 --> 01:12:53,673 for the fearless career television presenter. 1460 01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:57,477 I'm about to usher you into your next chapter. 1461 01:12:57,510 --> 01:13:00,847 [Cathy] Lip serum. I get it on the dark web. 1462 01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:03,216 -Is it legal? -Absolutely. 1463 01:13:03,249 --> 01:13:04,517 In Venezuela. 1464 01:13:05,051 --> 01:13:06,186 Here, take it. 1465 01:13:09,656 --> 01:13:13,159 Adapt and survive. 1466 01:13:14,994 --> 01:13:17,530 [Bridget] Adapt and survive. 1467 01:13:19,232 --> 01:13:21,968 Ooh. Something's definitely happening. 1468 01:13:22,002 --> 01:13:25,772 It's either disastrous or totally fantastic. 1469 01:13:25,805 --> 01:13:27,107 Mummy! 1470 01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,510 [slurred] Hi, sweetie. 1471 01:13:30,543 --> 01:13:32,178 [Bridget] Shit. What's happening to my voice? 1472 01:13:32,212 --> 01:13:33,847 Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet. 1473 01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:35,749 No. My feet are on the wrong legs. 1474 01:13:35,782 --> 01:13:37,517 [Bridget, Walliker chuckle] 1475 01:13:37,550 --> 01:13:39,219 Silly thing. 1476 01:13:39,252 --> 01:13:42,222 Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth. 1477 01:13:43,156 --> 01:13:44,090 No. 1478 01:13:44,124 --> 01:13:45,692 [chuckles] No, there isn't. 1479 01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:47,527 Yes, there is. Look. 1480 01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:49,562 Your lips are all funny right there. 1481 01:13:49,596 --> 01:13:51,865 [slurred, lisping] Darling, don't be ridiculous. 1482 01:13:51,898 --> 01:13:55,502 All right, Mabel, let's get these swapped over, shall we? 1483 01:13:56,603 --> 01:13:58,171 Out we pop. All right. 1484 01:13:58,204 --> 01:14:01,875 I wouldn't do that again if I were you, Mrs Darcy. 1485 01:14:01,908 --> 01:14:03,176 You looked all right to begin with. 1486 01:14:04,811 --> 01:14:06,146 [Walliker] All right. 1487 01:14:06,179 --> 01:14:08,882 [laughing] You're trying to look younger 1488 01:14:08,915 --> 01:14:14,220 and the effects have marked similarities to those of an elderly stroke victim. 1489 01:14:14,254 --> 01:14:16,122 [laughing] 1490 01:14:16,156 --> 01:14:18,992 You're actually drooling now. 1491 01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,129 Oh, dear. [inhales] 1492 01:14:23,163 --> 01:14:26,066 Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room 1493 01:14:26,099 --> 01:14:29,102 filled to capacity with actual patients-- 1494 01:14:29,135 --> 01:14:31,271 not to mention the fact that I am a gynaecologist 1495 01:14:31,304 --> 01:14:33,606 and that particular set of lips is, 1496 01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,609 as it were, broadly speaking, at the wrong end-- 1497 01:14:36,643 --> 01:14:39,612 I am nonetheless going to ask you the question, 1498 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,248 "Bridget, are you OK?" 1499 01:14:42,282 --> 01:14:45,085 A simple yes will suffice. 1500 01:14:46,319 --> 01:14:47,721 No. 1501 01:14:49,622 --> 01:14:51,291 It's all your fault. 1502 01:14:51,925 --> 01:14:53,793 [lisping] 1503 01:15:15,715 --> 01:15:17,617 [crying] 1504 01:15:21,154 --> 01:15:22,655 [paper ripping] 1505 01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:35,902 "Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting. 1506 01:15:35,935 --> 01:15:37,671 That's an A, in the middle there. 1507 01:15:37,704 --> 01:15:42,308 [sighs] Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas", 1508 01:15:42,342 --> 01:15:45,311 but a toy boy is not the answer, Bridget, and nor are big lips. 1509 01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,014 You're a widow 1510 01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,150 with two wonderful children who adore you. 1511 01:15:50,183 --> 01:15:52,052 You're just trying to cope with a shitty situation. 1512 01:15:52,085 --> 01:15:53,720 Embrace the chaos. 1513 01:15:55,221 --> 01:15:57,390 That's just a simple allergic reaction to 1514 01:15:57,424 --> 01:16:00,927 hydroxymethoxyphenyl propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran 1515 01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:04,698 in whatever infernal concoction you've smeared on your mouth. 1516 01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,734 -[whimpers] -[Dr Rawlings] This is an antihistamine. 1517 01:16:07,767 --> 01:16:09,202 It'll work straight away. 1518 01:16:10,103 --> 01:16:12,305 It's for the lips. 1519 01:16:12,339 --> 01:16:15,375 They still haven't invented anything for being a twat. 1520 01:16:19,846 --> 01:16:21,147 [slurping] 1521 01:16:21,181 --> 01:16:22,382 [breathing through nose] 1522 01:16:23,817 --> 01:16:24,884 [phone rings] 1523 01:16:28,388 --> 01:16:29,989 Hello. 1524 01:16:30,023 --> 01:16:31,658 [lisping] Yes, this is Bridget. 1525 01:16:33,059 --> 01:16:35,362 Of course! Straight away. 1526 01:16:37,964 --> 01:16:39,132 Yes, yes. 1527 01:16:44,938 --> 01:16:45,939 [Bridget] Daniel. 1528 01:16:47,007 --> 01:16:49,442 Well, by all that's holy, 1529 01:16:49,476 --> 01:16:51,311 Bridget Jones. 1530 01:16:54,014 --> 01:16:54,881 [grunts] 1531 01:16:56,182 --> 01:16:58,184 Nice of you to come, Jones. 1532 01:16:58,218 --> 01:17:00,387 If I'd known, I'd have worn a tinier nightie. 1533 01:17:01,855 --> 01:17:02,822 What happened? 1534 01:17:03,423 --> 01:17:05,091 My heart. 1535 01:17:05,125 --> 01:17:06,459 Two massive surprises. 1536 01:17:06,493 --> 01:17:09,129 One, I have one. Two, it murmurs. 1537 01:17:09,162 --> 01:17:11,865 They've, um, had a listen and I don't know. 1538 01:17:12,766 --> 01:17:14,134 Are you OK? 1539 01:17:14,167 --> 01:17:16,002 Well, I thought I was having a heart attack. 1540 01:17:16,036 --> 01:17:18,438 My whole life passed before my eyes. 1541 01:17:18,471 --> 01:17:20,140 You actually featured prominently, Jones. 1542 01:17:20,173 --> 01:17:21,808 -Hmm. -All the best bits. 1543 01:17:21,841 --> 01:17:23,343 Rome. Mini-break weekend. 1544 01:17:24,210 --> 01:17:26,413 Sodomy in Sainsbury's. 1545 01:17:26,446 --> 01:17:28,048 [chuckles] 1546 01:17:28,081 --> 01:17:30,283 But, uh, mainly, 1547 01:17:30,316 --> 01:17:32,218 it was just me wandering up and down the King's Road 1548 01:17:32,252 --> 01:17:33,953 trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds. 1549 01:17:33,987 --> 01:17:35,488 Mmm. 1550 01:17:35,522 --> 01:17:40,293 Perhaps it's an opportunity for a new beginning. 1551 01:17:40,326 --> 01:17:42,195 Brand-new Daniel. 1552 01:17:42,862 --> 01:17:43,830 Mmm. 1553 01:17:45,165 --> 01:17:47,801 I think I shall stay right here... 1554 01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,904 until you agree. 1555 01:17:50,937 --> 01:17:52,939 Well that is kind of you, Bridge, but, um... 1556 01:17:54,074 --> 01:17:55,375 they told me I don't have long. 1557 01:17:55,408 --> 01:17:58,111 -What? -No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that. 1558 01:17:58,144 --> 01:18:00,380 Well, maybe that. No, they, uh... 1559 01:18:00,413 --> 01:18:02,916 they're taking me for some tests in a minute. 1560 01:18:06,820 --> 01:18:10,390 The question is, would we say I've become a fraction tragic? 1561 01:18:10,423 --> 01:18:14,494 They asked me to put down my next of kin. 1562 01:18:14,527 --> 01:18:19,265 And the only person I could think of who might remotely care was you. 1563 01:18:21,201 --> 01:18:23,503 -That's very sweet. -[Daniel] Yeah, but not deliberately. 1564 01:18:23,536 --> 01:18:25,472 The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived 1565 01:18:25,505 --> 01:18:28,074 at this point in my life with no kin? 1566 01:18:28,108 --> 01:18:31,244 How could I possibly be kinless? 1567 01:18:31,277 --> 01:18:34,414 But you're not. You're not kinless. 1568 01:18:34,447 --> 01:18:37,851 Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two. 1569 01:18:37,884 --> 01:18:40,487 And he is now being happily raised by his mother 1570 01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,024 and an Italian aristocrat who wears his jumper like a shawl. 1571 01:18:47,027 --> 01:18:48,461 So, lucky you, Jones. 1572 01:18:49,863 --> 01:18:51,898 Your two, the way they look at you... 1573 01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,436 just makes one realise... 1574 01:18:59,172 --> 01:19:00,907 one's own fuck-ups, really. 1575 01:19:02,475 --> 01:19:04,310 The glory of what might have been. 1576 01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:10,950 [sighs] Did you know... 1577 01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,587 it was actually quite good 1578 01:19:14,621 --> 01:19:17,090 with Gisele at the beginning? [clears throat] 1579 01:19:17,123 --> 01:19:18,858 I have to face the fact... 1580 01:19:18,892 --> 01:19:20,393 [coughs] 1581 01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:24,097 ...that it may have been, Jones, love. 1582 01:19:25,031 --> 01:19:26,900 The real thing. 1583 01:19:26,933 --> 01:19:29,135 I still don't know what she was so pissed off about. 1584 01:19:29,169 --> 01:19:30,403 You shagged her sister. 1585 01:19:30,437 --> 01:19:33,106 Once. Massive overreaction. 1586 01:19:33,139 --> 01:19:35,041 [Bridget laughing] 1587 01:19:35,075 --> 01:19:38,211 God, I love you, Daniel. 1588 01:19:38,244 --> 01:19:42,415 Despite your really quite impressive 1589 01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:46,019 lifelong dedication to total fuckwittage. 1590 01:19:46,052 --> 01:19:47,887 Yeah. [sighs] 1591 01:19:49,055 --> 01:19:51,057 There's a lot I don't know. 1592 01:19:52,025 --> 01:19:52,959 An awful lot. 1593 01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:58,398 But I do know that my children would give anything at all 1594 01:19:58,431 --> 01:20:01,134 to have just one day with their dad. 1595 01:20:10,010 --> 01:20:13,113 -[door opens] -[nurse] Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver. 1596 01:20:13,146 --> 01:20:14,514 Oh, right. 1597 01:20:14,547 --> 01:20:16,583 And, again, there is really no need 1598 01:20:16,616 --> 01:20:19,185 for you to remove your gown. 1599 01:20:19,219 --> 01:20:20,320 Sorry. 1600 01:20:20,353 --> 01:20:21,888 [nurse] Okey-doke. 1601 01:20:21,921 --> 01:20:23,256 God. 1602 01:20:23,289 --> 01:20:26,459 Then lights down on the cooking segment. 1603 01:20:26,493 --> 01:20:29,062 Why do I always have to do the cooking bits? 1604 01:20:29,095 --> 01:20:31,498 That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time 1605 01:20:31,531 --> 01:20:33,266 was the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. 1606 01:20:33,299 --> 01:20:34,901 I highly doubt that. 1607 01:20:34,934 --> 01:20:38,038 And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage. 1608 01:20:38,071 --> 01:20:42,375 "And now, on Better Women, a surprise guest." Blah blah. 1609 01:20:42,409 --> 01:20:44,210 And lights! 1610 01:20:44,244 --> 01:20:45,345 -[cheering] -[music playing] 1611 01:20:45,378 --> 01:20:46,646 * Yeah, I'm a fighter* 1612 01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,548 * And I made it through* 1613 01:20:48,581 --> 01:20:50,283 * Solid gold survivor That's...* 1614 01:20:50,316 --> 01:20:52,052 -[Bridget] Hold it! -[music stops] 1615 01:20:52,085 --> 01:20:56,022 Linus, we've got to practise following her with the lights. 1616 01:20:56,056 --> 01:20:57,624 So, uh... 1617 01:20:57,657 --> 01:21:00,527 maybe you could dance a bit? Yeah? 1618 01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:03,163 -Uh... -[Bridget] OK. Go, Linus! 1619 01:21:03,196 --> 01:21:04,631 [music resumes] 1620 01:21:04,664 --> 01:21:06,466 * So give me light* 1621 01:21:06,499 --> 01:21:08,435 * You've got to find Your own road...* 1622 01:21:08,468 --> 01:21:12,105 Can you hold that, please? See, you've got to, you know, go for it. 1623 01:21:12,138 --> 01:21:13,306 * Help me see...* 1624 01:21:13,340 --> 01:21:15,375 'Cause she's going to, you know... 1625 01:21:15,408 --> 01:21:17,410 * And no more light And no more love* 1626 01:21:17,444 --> 01:21:19,412 * It's not over...* 1627 01:21:19,446 --> 01:21:21,514 -[chuckling] -* It's not over* 1628 01:21:21,548 --> 01:21:23,483 * I won't save you when I'm weak* 1629 01:21:23,516 --> 01:21:25,251 * Only got so much left To give* 1630 01:21:25,285 --> 01:21:27,987 * It's not over* 1631 01:21:28,021 --> 01:21:29,122 * It's not over* 1632 01:21:29,155 --> 01:21:30,523 * Till I'm done...* 1633 01:21:30,557 --> 01:21:33,226 [singer vocalising] 1634 01:21:33,259 --> 01:21:34,661 * Till I'm done* 1635 01:21:34,694 --> 01:21:36,196 -[song ends] -[others chuckling] 1636 01:21:36,229 --> 01:21:38,031 -See, Linus? -[Roxster] Hi, B. 1637 01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:41,201 [Bridget] Oh, shit. 1638 01:21:43,136 --> 01:21:44,337 Brought a pie. 1639 01:21:44,371 --> 01:21:47,040 -[bell rings] -[crew chattering] 1640 01:21:47,073 --> 01:21:49,576 [Roxster] Sorry, they just told me to come in. 1641 01:21:51,778 --> 01:21:54,114 [Bridget] You disappeared, Roxster. 1642 01:21:54,147 --> 01:21:55,048 [Roxster] I know. 1643 01:21:55,715 --> 01:21:56,716 I know. 1644 01:22:00,220 --> 01:22:01,988 [sighs] I panicked. 1645 01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,059 I got-- I got scared, and I ran. 1646 01:22:07,193 --> 01:22:09,029 But I want this. 1647 01:22:10,130 --> 01:22:11,097 You. 1648 01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:16,069 I thought I wasn't ready, but I am. 1649 01:22:17,070 --> 01:22:18,738 I thought I... 1650 01:22:18,772 --> 01:22:21,141 I don't know, wanted somebody my own age, 1651 01:22:21,174 --> 01:22:23,476 but I don't. 1652 01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:29,582 I love you, Bridget. 1653 01:22:33,319 --> 01:22:35,121 I'm ready for all of it. 1654 01:22:35,155 --> 01:22:37,090 For Billy and Mabel. 1655 01:22:38,158 --> 01:22:39,359 And burnt lasagne. 1656 01:22:39,392 --> 01:22:41,594 And slime. 1657 01:22:41,628 --> 01:22:43,763 [chuckles] And all of it. 1658 01:22:46,099 --> 01:22:47,734 [whispers] I promise you, I am ready. 1659 01:22:50,503 --> 01:22:52,639 [whispers] I'm not sure that matters. 1660 01:22:55,742 --> 01:22:57,777 What do you mean? I don't-- I don't understand. 1661 01:22:57,811 --> 01:23:00,613 [Bridget, voice breaking] You're so lovely, 1662 01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:04,317 and you're going to be 1663 01:23:04,351 --> 01:23:07,554 a brilliant partner and dad. 1664 01:23:07,587 --> 01:23:09,122 And you're going to discover 1665 01:23:09,155 --> 01:23:12,325 all sorts of garbage that will change the world. 1666 01:23:12,359 --> 01:23:14,094 That's not how it works. 1667 01:23:14,127 --> 01:23:15,495 But not with me. 1668 01:23:15,528 --> 01:23:17,197 [exhales] 1669 01:23:21,267 --> 01:23:23,236 I wish I had a time machine too. 1670 01:23:25,305 --> 01:23:26,806 So you could catch up. 1671 01:23:30,677 --> 01:23:32,579 Are you-- Are you sure? 1672 01:23:34,814 --> 01:23:36,116 I am. 1673 01:23:49,863 --> 01:23:51,531 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK. 1674 01:23:51,564 --> 01:23:53,299 [Bridget chuckles] 1675 01:23:57,570 --> 01:23:58,705 Goodbye, Bridget. 1676 01:24:10,750 --> 01:24:12,686 [Bridget] Parents' evening. 1677 01:24:12,719 --> 01:24:15,855 Is there a worse night for the single parent? 1678 01:24:16,856 --> 01:24:18,591 They call it parents' evening 1679 01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:20,827 as if it's a plural. 1680 01:24:20,860 --> 01:24:24,164 As if it's a given that there's two of us. 1681 01:24:25,665 --> 01:24:28,702 Oh, well. Chin up and onward. 1682 01:24:28,735 --> 01:24:30,303 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy. 1683 01:24:31,771 --> 01:24:33,673 It's good to see you. 1684 01:24:33,707 --> 01:24:35,742 Good to be back in the studio. 1685 01:24:37,177 --> 01:24:40,146 [chuckles] The great fruit fly debate. 1686 01:24:41,314 --> 01:24:42,482 Uh... 1687 01:24:42,515 --> 01:24:43,783 Small secret. 1688 01:24:43,817 --> 01:24:45,652 It was about 50 times more interesting 1689 01:24:45,685 --> 01:24:47,787 than that bloody thoracic surgeon. 1690 01:24:47,821 --> 01:24:49,522 And don't get me started on the physicist. 1691 01:24:49,556 --> 01:24:53,226 I mean, they'll hand out Nobels to anyone these days. 1692 01:24:53,259 --> 01:24:55,395 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 1693 01:24:55,428 --> 01:24:58,398 So, uh, Billy. 1694 01:24:58,431 --> 01:25:01,267 Well, he's, um... he's an excellent cricketer. 1695 01:25:01,301 --> 01:25:02,469 -Mm-hmm. -You know, 1696 01:25:02,502 --> 01:25:03,937 he's a very good young scientist. 1697 01:25:03,970 --> 01:25:06,239 He's... he's got a good brain. 1698 01:25:06,272 --> 01:25:10,677 He's methodical, his experiments are well drawn up. 1699 01:25:10,710 --> 01:25:12,679 Look, I mean, it's just, uh... 1700 01:25:12,712 --> 01:25:14,781 it's excellent work all round. 1701 01:25:16,383 --> 01:25:19,686 -Good. -It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm... 1702 01:25:20,887 --> 01:25:22,489 I'm a... 1703 01:25:22,522 --> 01:25:24,557 I'm a bit concerned about him. 1704 01:25:24,591 --> 01:25:27,727 Concerned? Concerned how? What's he done? 1705 01:25:27,761 --> 01:25:30,463 No, he hasn't done anything. He's, um... 1706 01:25:30,497 --> 01:25:32,165 He's just been a bit, uh... 1707 01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:34,701 withdrawn. 1708 01:25:35,502 --> 01:25:36,770 Why is he withdrawn? 1709 01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:38,838 Everything's been all right at home? 1710 01:25:38,872 --> 01:25:41,741 Yes, yes. It's all fine. 1711 01:25:41,775 --> 01:25:43,810 [Walliker] Everything OK with your, um... 1712 01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,480 -hairdresser? -[sighs] 1713 01:25:47,514 --> 01:25:50,550 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh... 1714 01:25:50,583 --> 01:25:52,419 He's withdrawn? 1715 01:25:52,452 --> 01:25:55,488 -Well, I don't mean to alarm you. -[door opens] 1716 01:25:55,522 --> 01:25:58,925 -Sorry about that. Yep, exactly. -[Nicolette] Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry. 1717 01:25:58,958 --> 01:26:01,628 We're a couple of minutes early, but these sessions are so short. 1718 01:26:01,661 --> 01:26:03,930 And I have more than a few questions for you. 1719 01:26:03,963 --> 01:26:05,565 You don't mind, do you, Bridget? 1720 01:26:05,598 --> 01:26:07,767 We do have the two boys, so... 1721 01:26:07,801 --> 01:26:10,837 Not at all. No. That's... It's fine. 1722 01:26:13,039 --> 01:26:15,675 -Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute. -[Nicolette] Thank you. 1723 01:26:15,709 --> 01:26:17,944 -[Nicolette] Right. -[Victor] I've got parents' evening. 1724 01:26:28,855 --> 01:26:31,358 [owl hoots] 1725 01:26:37,597 --> 01:26:39,532 [hoots] 1726 01:26:39,566 --> 01:26:41,301 Mark Darcy, the leading 1727 01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:43,970 international humanitarian rights lawyer, 1728 01:26:44,004 --> 01:26:46,973 was killed this morning in the Darfur region in Sudan. 1729 01:26:47,007 --> 01:26:49,509 [reporter] ...a land mine. The 55-year-old was in 1730 01:26:49,542 --> 01:26:51,778 the war-torn region after joining international efforts... 1731 01:26:51,811 --> 01:26:54,447 Mr Darcy was a leading international figure in human rights 1732 01:26:54,481 --> 01:26:55,815 and crisis resolution... 1733 01:26:55,849 --> 01:26:57,450 [reporter 2] ...gained global recognition 1734 01:26:57,484 --> 01:26:59,786 with the Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney case, 1735 01:26:59,819 --> 01:27:01,354 which, of course, he won. 1736 01:27:01,388 --> 01:27:03,790 He leaves behind his wife, Bridget Jones, 1737 01:27:03,823 --> 01:27:06,626 and their two young children, Billy and Mabel. 1738 01:27:06,659 --> 01:27:10,363 -More on this story as we get it. -[breathes deeply] 1739 01:28:06,986 --> 01:28:08,555 [Bridget] Dearest darling Mark, 1740 01:28:10,156 --> 01:28:12,659 it's your birthday on Sunday, and... 1741 01:28:12,692 --> 01:28:14,427 [breathes deeply] 1742 01:28:14,461 --> 01:28:17,630 ...I'm just no good at doing this on my own. 1743 01:28:19,933 --> 01:28:22,002 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother. 1744 01:28:22,035 --> 01:28:25,672 I'm sorry I got caught up with a callow toy boy. 1745 01:28:25,705 --> 01:28:29,509 I'm sorry I'm late for school and that Billy's withdrawn. 1746 01:28:31,111 --> 01:28:33,113 They're growing up without you. 1747 01:28:34,714 --> 01:28:36,049 How is Billy going to understand 1748 01:28:36,082 --> 01:28:39,419 how to be a man without his father? 1749 01:28:39,452 --> 01:28:41,454 How is Mabel going to live her life 1750 01:28:41,488 --> 01:28:43,490 having never really known you at all? 1751 01:28:44,858 --> 01:28:46,559 Please forgive me for being upset 1752 01:28:46,593 --> 01:28:50,096 about anything which isn't about not having you. 1753 01:28:50,130 --> 01:28:53,033 Please help me find a way to do this 1754 01:28:53,066 --> 01:28:57,470 without feeling like I'm ruining the most important part of my life. 1755 01:28:59,939 --> 01:29:02,475 The only part that still has you in it. 1756 01:29:17,490 --> 01:29:20,760 I have to put down how many tickets we need for my Christmas concert. 1757 01:29:20,794 --> 01:29:23,129 -Mm-hmm. -Should I put down two? For you and Mabel? 1758 01:29:23,163 --> 01:29:24,064 Put three. 1759 01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:27,600 Mabel, me and Chloe. 1760 01:29:27,634 --> 01:29:29,602 OK. Three. 1761 01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:31,571 Finished. 1762 01:29:31,604 --> 01:29:32,605 [Billy] Me too. 1763 01:29:35,809 --> 01:29:37,143 [Bridget gasps] 1764 01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:44,050 Daddy will love these. 1765 01:29:44,751 --> 01:29:46,152 They're perfect. 1766 01:29:46,186 --> 01:29:47,153 Yes. 1767 01:29:47,187 --> 01:29:48,755 Did you write one, Mummy? 1768 01:29:48,788 --> 01:29:50,156 I did. 1769 01:29:50,190 --> 01:29:52,492 Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy? 1770 01:29:52,525 --> 01:29:53,626 Of course we can. 1771 01:29:54,527 --> 01:29:55,495 [chuckles] 1772 01:29:55,528 --> 01:29:56,529 [kisses] 1773 01:30:01,534 --> 01:30:04,204 [Bridget] And Mark's birthday came as it always did... 1774 01:30:06,539 --> 01:30:10,910 like all the celebrations, Christmases and anniversaries. 1775 01:30:10,944 --> 01:30:13,713 All the love and all the pain. 1776 01:30:18,284 --> 01:30:19,552 [exhales] 1777 01:30:20,553 --> 01:30:22,555 OK. Ready? 1778 01:30:23,823 --> 01:30:24,991 On three. 1779 01:30:25,925 --> 01:30:29,462 One, two... 1780 01:30:37,070 --> 01:30:39,506 What am I going to do when I get to-- 1781 01:30:39,539 --> 01:30:40,707 ...three. 1782 01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:28,154 [Bridget] What I have is what I love most in the world. 1783 01:31:28,922 --> 01:31:30,924 Billy and Mabel. 1784 01:31:30,957 --> 01:31:32,759 Just the three of us. 1785 01:31:39,332 --> 01:31:41,835 ["Should I Stay or Should I Go" playing] 1786 01:31:41,868 --> 01:31:43,870 * Whoo!* 1787 01:31:43,903 --> 01:31:46,006 -[Bridget] Mr Walliker. -Mrs Darcy. 1788 01:31:46,039 --> 01:31:48,074 * Darling, you got to let me Know...* 1789 01:31:48,108 --> 01:31:49,876 [student] Billy! 1790 01:31:49,909 --> 01:31:51,778 -[Billy] Hello! -[student 2] Hello! 1791 01:31:51,811 --> 01:31:52,779 Ready? 1792 01:31:54,647 --> 01:31:58,018 [Bridget, children] * If you say that you are mine* 1793 01:31:58,051 --> 01:32:01,087 * I'll be here till the end Of time* 1794 01:32:02,922 --> 01:32:07,260 * So you got to let me know* 1795 01:32:07,293 --> 01:32:09,796 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1796 01:32:11,364 --> 01:32:14,167 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1797 01:32:15,301 --> 01:32:18,571 * Should I stay Or should I go now?* 1798 01:32:20,106 --> 01:32:24,044 * If I go There will be trouble* 1799 01:32:24,077 --> 01:32:28,048 * And if I stay It will be double* 1800 01:32:28,081 --> 01:32:32,619 * So you gotta let me know* 1801 01:32:32,652 --> 01:32:35,321 * Should I stay Or should I go?* 1802 01:32:35,355 --> 01:32:36,890 Have a good walk, then. 1803 01:32:36,923 --> 01:32:37,924 [Walliker] Thank you. 1804 01:32:37,957 --> 01:32:40,126 [students] Bye. 1805 01:32:40,927 --> 01:32:42,095 All right, come in. 1806 01:32:42,796 --> 01:32:43,763 Now... 1807 01:32:46,066 --> 01:32:50,103 what this is not is a "walk." 1808 01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,039 We are about to embark as a team 1809 01:32:53,073 --> 01:32:55,809 on an orienteering adventure. 1810 01:32:55,842 --> 01:32:58,244 -So do you each have your compasses? -[students] Yes! 1811 01:32:58,278 --> 01:33:00,814 -Do you each have your maps? -Yes! 1812 01:33:00,847 --> 01:33:03,149 [Walliker] Right then, you know your groups. Hands up, Otters! 1813 01:33:03,183 --> 01:33:07,220 You'll go along with Mr Collins and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha. 1814 01:33:07,253 --> 01:33:11,224 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn the short straw, I'm afraid. 1815 01:33:11,257 --> 01:33:12,959 You'll be joining me and the Ospreys. 1816 01:33:12,992 --> 01:33:15,829 Now, this is very important. 1817 01:33:15,862 --> 01:33:20,266 Remember to open your eyes and look around. 1818 01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:22,268 This is one of the most 1819 01:33:22,302 --> 01:33:24,871 beautiful places on earth. 1820 01:33:26,806 --> 01:33:28,008 Enjoy it. 1821 01:33:28,041 --> 01:33:29,275 Let's go. 1822 01:33:31,344 --> 01:33:35,048 -You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy? -Absolutely! 1823 01:33:35,081 --> 01:33:36,416 I was a Queen's Guide. 1824 01:33:36,449 --> 01:33:39,352 -[chuckles] -[Bridget] Got my Pioneer badge. 1825 01:33:39,386 --> 01:33:42,989 I can rope, knot, splice and lash. 1826 01:33:43,023 --> 01:33:45,258 If you need anything tied up, 1827 01:33:45,291 --> 01:33:47,827 I'm your girl. [groans] 1828 01:33:47,861 --> 01:33:50,230 -[Walliker] Right then. Bring up the rear. -[students giggle] 1829 01:33:52,198 --> 01:33:54,901 Yes! Bringing up the rear! 1830 01:33:54,934 --> 01:33:56,336 Up! 1831 01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:58,171 We're gonna see much more water than that. 1832 01:33:58,204 --> 01:33:59,305 [Bridget] Up the rear! 1833 01:34:01,374 --> 01:34:02,375 Yep. 1834 01:34:02,409 --> 01:34:04,310 Make sure everybody's with us. 1835 01:34:05,178 --> 01:34:07,347 [students chattering] 1836 01:34:17,023 --> 01:34:18,324 [Walliker chuckles] 1837 01:34:23,329 --> 01:34:25,965 [Walliker] You can see the second waterfall, can't you? 1838 01:34:27,233 --> 01:34:28,335 [children chattering] 1839 01:34:28,368 --> 01:34:30,437 Well, those two are together. 1840 01:34:34,908 --> 01:34:36,810 [thunder rumbling] 1841 01:34:41,047 --> 01:34:42,182 [student shouting] 1842 01:34:42,215 --> 01:34:43,383 Coming! 1843 01:34:47,187 --> 01:34:48,822 [Walliker] Hurry along. Come on! 1844 01:34:55,895 --> 01:34:57,897 -[Walliker] Give me your hand. -Wow. So cool. 1845 01:34:57,931 --> 01:34:58,965 OK. 1846 01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:02,035 Right. 1847 01:35:03,103 --> 01:35:04,471 Is there a Wi-Fi password? 1848 01:35:04,504 --> 01:35:06,206 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock. 1849 01:35:06,239 --> 01:35:07,941 All right, take this tarp 1850 01:35:07,974 --> 01:35:09,843 and spread it out on the floor over there, all right? 1851 01:35:09,876 --> 01:35:11,311 [Billy] Come on. 1852 01:35:11,344 --> 01:35:13,847 [Bridget] It's all right. It's dry. [chuckles] 1853 01:35:16,816 --> 01:35:19,519 [Walliker] Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow, 1854 01:35:19,552 --> 01:35:21,788 pick up some firewood for when the rain stops? 1855 01:35:21,821 --> 01:35:23,356 Yep. 1856 01:35:23,390 --> 01:35:25,825 [Walliker] All right, everyone. Do your best to get dry. 1857 01:35:29,329 --> 01:35:31,498 [Bridget] Ding-fucking-dong. 1858 01:35:31,531 --> 01:35:32,999 Whenever you're ready. 1859 01:35:43,543 --> 01:35:45,445 [Walliker] Looks like we'll be here for a while. 1860 01:35:48,982 --> 01:35:51,518 [fire crackling] 1861 01:35:57,257 --> 01:35:59,325 It really is absolutely disgusting. 1862 01:35:59,359 --> 01:36:01,861 [chuckles] Burnt to a crisp. 1863 01:36:01,895 --> 01:36:03,963 I think you'll find it's a brûlée. 1864 01:36:03,997 --> 01:36:05,131 [exhales] 1865 01:36:05,165 --> 01:36:06,299 [chuckles] 1866 01:36:07,400 --> 01:36:08,401 [Bridget] Come on, then. 1867 01:36:08,435 --> 01:36:10,203 Off to Bedfordshire. 1868 01:36:10,236 --> 01:36:12,072 [student 4] Goodnight, Mr Walliker. 1869 01:36:12,105 --> 01:36:14,307 -[Bridget] Here we are. -[Walliker] Sleep well, team. 1870 01:36:14,341 --> 01:36:16,409 -Well done today. -[student 4] Thank you. 1871 01:36:16,443 --> 01:36:18,111 Okay. Night night. 1872 01:36:19,579 --> 01:36:20,580 Goodnight. 1873 01:36:29,422 --> 01:36:31,491 -Mission accomplished. -[Walliker chuckles] 1874 01:36:31,524 --> 01:36:34,928 One barnful of sleeping children. 1875 01:36:34,961 --> 01:36:38,164 Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed by your resourcefulness, 1876 01:36:38,198 --> 01:36:39,933 but who travels to the Lake District 1877 01:36:39,966 --> 01:36:42,168 with a backpack full of marshmallows? [chuckles] 1878 01:36:42,202 --> 01:36:45,271 All parents know the marshmallow 1879 01:36:45,305 --> 01:36:48,208 is an essential tool, Mr Walliker. 1880 01:36:48,241 --> 01:36:50,143 [both chuckling] 1881 01:36:52,979 --> 01:36:54,881 Do you have children? 1882 01:36:54,914 --> 01:36:57,350 Uh, no. No, no, I never did any of that. 1883 01:36:58,351 --> 01:37:00,420 But, um... 1884 01:37:00,453 --> 01:37:02,055 It's funny. In the back of your mind, 1885 01:37:02,088 --> 01:37:04,324 you think it might happen, and-- [sighs] 1886 01:37:04,357 --> 01:37:06,192 But, you know, one day, 1887 01:37:06,226 --> 01:37:09,129 you're preparing a test for a periodic table... 1888 01:37:09,162 --> 01:37:13,533 -[chuckles] -...and you realise it's the 27th one you've set, 1889 01:37:13,566 --> 01:37:15,969 and there's just never been time 1890 01:37:16,002 --> 01:37:18,304 to really think about having anything like a... 1891 01:37:18,338 --> 01:37:20,106 like a family in between. 1892 01:37:24,277 --> 01:37:25,445 But it's good. 1893 01:37:26,413 --> 01:37:28,348 It's good. I, uh... 1894 01:37:28,381 --> 01:37:29,649 Well, it suits me. 1895 01:37:31,284 --> 01:37:32,419 Mmm. 1896 01:37:33,987 --> 01:37:35,155 I see it does. 1897 01:37:35,188 --> 01:37:36,523 [both chuckle] 1898 01:37:38,391 --> 01:37:39,926 I mean, look at that. 1899 01:37:43,396 --> 01:37:44,531 All of it. 1900 01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:52,205 You asked me where's the wonder and the magic. 1901 01:37:54,341 --> 01:37:55,675 It's a good question. 1902 01:37:58,111 --> 01:37:59,412 I think it's here. 1903 01:38:00,680 --> 01:38:03,516 You don't believe in magic, Mr Walliker. 1904 01:38:03,550 --> 01:38:04,951 [Walliker] No. 1905 01:38:06,286 --> 01:38:07,687 Well, I've been thinking. 1906 01:38:14,160 --> 01:38:15,562 [both chuckle] 1907 01:38:19,132 --> 01:38:20,266 [Billy] Mummy? 1908 01:38:20,300 --> 01:38:21,735 Atticus is really frightened. 1909 01:38:21,768 --> 01:38:24,738 He says his mum sings Puccini to him when he's scared. 1910 01:38:24,771 --> 01:38:29,275 Well, he might have to settle for some early Take That, 1911 01:38:29,309 --> 01:38:31,711 but I'll see what I can do, okay? 1912 01:38:33,046 --> 01:38:34,414 Mr Walliker, 1913 01:38:34,447 --> 01:38:36,516 do you mind if I sit here for a minute? 1914 01:38:36,549 --> 01:38:38,218 Of course. Sit down. 1915 01:38:53,566 --> 01:38:55,602 -Is there anything you want to-- -It's just... 1916 01:38:56,503 --> 01:38:58,038 what if I forget him? 1917 01:38:59,205 --> 01:39:00,640 I don't wanna forget him. 1918 01:39:01,608 --> 01:39:03,476 But what if I do? 1919 01:39:10,083 --> 01:39:12,218 Let me tell you this, Billy, um... 1920 01:39:14,254 --> 01:39:18,091 Your dad is everywhere. 1921 01:39:20,193 --> 01:39:21,227 He's everywhere. 1922 01:39:22,095 --> 01:39:23,096 Right now... 1923 01:39:25,065 --> 01:39:26,533 in this moment. 1924 01:39:26,566 --> 01:39:28,768 And that's a scientific fact. 1925 01:39:30,337 --> 01:39:34,240 Energy is only transferred. 1926 01:39:35,342 --> 01:39:36,676 It can never be destroyed. 1927 01:39:37,544 --> 01:39:39,446 And more importantly, 1928 01:39:39,479 --> 01:39:41,548 your father is in you. 1929 01:39:43,516 --> 01:39:44,784 And Mabel. 1930 01:39:50,557 --> 01:39:52,058 Billy, tell me something... 1931 01:39:54,594 --> 01:39:55,762 one thing... 1932 01:39:57,197 --> 01:39:58,598 that you remember best 1933 01:39:59,366 --> 01:40:01,034 about your dad. 1934 01:40:09,275 --> 01:40:11,644 ["Turn on the Lights" plays] 1935 01:40:11,678 --> 01:40:15,849 * Another Christmas Is around the corner* 1936 01:40:15,882 --> 01:40:20,286 * And I can feel us, darling Getting closer* 1937 01:40:20,320 --> 01:40:24,257 * It's coming down the road And stopping it now* 1938 01:40:24,290 --> 01:40:28,194 * Stopping it now Is impossible...* 1939 01:40:28,228 --> 01:40:29,162 Can we? 1940 01:40:30,296 --> 01:40:31,664 -May we. -Yes. 1941 01:40:31,698 --> 01:40:34,467 * I built a snowman out The back* 1942 01:40:34,501 --> 01:40:39,272 * It came alive And flew me Round this sleepy town* 1943 01:40:39,305 --> 01:40:42,342 * I put an old scarf round Its neck...* 1944 01:40:42,375 --> 01:40:43,810 [Bridget] Careful! 1945 01:40:43,843 --> 01:40:45,378 * And every time You kiss me...* 1946 01:40:45,412 --> 01:40:46,479 [Walliker] Chop-chop. 1947 01:40:46,513 --> 01:40:47,814 One, two. One, two. 1948 01:40:47,847 --> 01:40:49,416 [Bridget] May I have your hot chocolate? 1949 01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:52,218 -[Mabel] No. No! Marshmallows! -[Bridget] Yes. Yes. 1950 01:40:52,252 --> 01:40:55,422 [Walliker] Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat? Come on. 1951 01:40:55,455 --> 01:40:57,157 -Is that all right? -[Mabel giggles] 1952 01:40:57,190 --> 01:40:58,358 [Walliker chuckles] 1953 01:40:58,391 --> 01:41:00,527 -Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy. -No. 1954 01:41:00,560 --> 01:41:02,162 Show's starting. 1955 01:41:02,195 --> 01:41:04,297 Yes, of course. 1956 01:41:04,330 --> 01:41:06,800 [flutes playing, off-key] 1957 01:41:13,573 --> 01:41:15,108 [shushes] 1958 01:41:17,744 --> 01:41:19,646 -That sounds fantastic. -[Nicolette] Yeah. 1959 01:41:19,679 --> 01:41:21,314 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00. 1960 01:41:21,348 --> 01:41:23,717 -Oh, for God's sake, Victor. -[earbud clattering] 1961 01:41:23,750 --> 01:41:25,685 Fucking prick. 1962 01:41:28,621 --> 01:41:30,390 -[flute ends] -[chuckles] 1963 01:41:30,423 --> 01:41:33,626 Bravo! Bravo. 1964 01:41:38,298 --> 01:41:40,900 [Walliker] Thank you, Eros and Atticus Soltani-Watkins. 1965 01:41:42,268 --> 01:41:44,604 Now, although it's not on the programme, 1966 01:41:44,637 --> 01:41:47,340 we do have one-- one more song. 1967 01:41:47,374 --> 01:41:51,444 Um, I happen to know it means a lot to our singer. 1968 01:41:51,478 --> 01:41:55,682 And, um... well, this is his first-ever solo performance, 1969 01:41:56,816 --> 01:41:58,718 and I know he'll do himself proud. 1970 01:42:19,339 --> 01:42:21,741 ["Anything" playing] 1971 01:42:30,417 --> 01:42:34,721 * I'd do anything* 1972 01:42:34,754 --> 01:42:39,659 * For you, dear, anything* 1973 01:42:39,693 --> 01:42:44,597 * For you mean everything* 1974 01:42:44,631 --> 01:42:48,601 * To me* 1975 01:42:48,635 --> 01:42:50,503 * I know that* 1976 01:42:50,537 --> 01:42:54,474 * I'd go anywhere* 1977 01:42:54,507 --> 01:42:59,612 * For your smile, anywhere* 1978 01:42:59,646 --> 01:43:02,549 * For your smile* 1979 01:43:02,582 --> 01:43:08,688 * Everywhere I'd see* 1980 01:43:08,722 --> 01:43:11,691 * Would you climb a hill?* 1981 01:43:11,725 --> 01:43:13,293 -* Anything* -[audience chuckles] 1982 01:43:13,326 --> 01:43:17,931 * Wear a daffodil? Anything* 1983 01:43:17,964 --> 01:43:22,502 * Leave me all your will? Anything* 1984 01:43:22,535 --> 01:43:25,839 * Even fight my Bill?* 1985 01:43:25,872 --> 01:43:27,841 * What? Fisticuffs?* 1986 01:43:27,874 --> 01:43:31,878 -* I'd risk everything* -[choir harmonising] 1987 01:43:31,911 --> 01:43:36,549 * For one kiss, everything* 1988 01:43:36,583 --> 01:43:41,488 * Yes, I'd do anything* 1989 01:43:41,521 --> 01:43:43,723 * Anything* 1990 01:43:43,757 --> 01:43:48,862 * For you* 1991 01:43:48,895 --> 01:43:51,331 [music ends] 1992 01:43:51,364 --> 01:43:52,866 [audience applauds] 1993 01:43:56,036 --> 01:43:57,837 [cheering] 1994 01:44:00,573 --> 01:44:01,641 [Chloe whoops] 1995 01:44:01,675 --> 01:44:02,809 Go, Billy! 1996 01:44:07,514 --> 01:44:08,448 [Walliker] Bravo! 1997 01:44:15,588 --> 01:44:17,557 [applause fades] 1998 01:44:21,828 --> 01:44:23,296 [applause silenced] 1999 01:44:43,416 --> 01:44:45,385 Oh, my darling. 2000 01:44:45,418 --> 01:44:46,553 [sobs] 2001 01:44:47,687 --> 01:44:50,657 Daddy would be so proud of you. 2002 01:44:50,690 --> 01:44:51,825 I know. 2003 01:44:54,127 --> 01:44:55,962 [Walliker] Well done, Billy. You nailed it. 2004 01:44:55,995 --> 01:44:58,398 -Were you surprised, Mum? -Yes. 2005 01:44:58,431 --> 01:45:00,467 -Genius. -Up top. 2006 01:45:00,500 --> 01:45:02,402 [Walliker, Billy chuckle] 2007 01:45:02,435 --> 01:45:04,971 -So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram? -Yes. 2008 01:45:05,005 --> 01:45:06,940 -And did you bring my-- -Yes. 2009 01:45:06,973 --> 01:45:09,109 Bikram! Nintendo! 2010 01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:13,847 Mr Walliker, Billy was... 2011 01:45:13,880 --> 01:45:16,016 The whole thing was... [chuckles] 2012 01:45:16,049 --> 01:45:19,452 -It was-- -It was magic, Mrs Darcy. 2013 01:45:19,486 --> 01:45:21,121 [Bridget] No, it wasn't. 2014 01:45:21,154 --> 01:45:23,456 What you've done for Billy... 2015 01:45:23,490 --> 01:45:24,824 [stammers] 2016 01:45:24,858 --> 01:45:27,394 People talk about moving on like it means, 2017 01:45:27,427 --> 01:45:29,829 you know, leaving something behind, 2018 01:45:29,863 --> 01:45:31,965 you know, leaving someone you love behind, 2019 01:45:31,998 --> 01:45:34,534 but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see 2020 01:45:34,567 --> 01:45:37,904 you can live at the same time as all the things you've lost, 2021 01:45:37,937 --> 01:45:42,108 and that you can be happy even without them. 2022 01:45:42,142 --> 01:45:44,978 And tonight, I saw my son up there 2023 01:45:45,011 --> 01:45:48,715 and I understood for the first time in four years 2024 01:45:48,748 --> 01:45:50,850 that he's going to be okay. 2025 01:45:50,884 --> 01:45:52,919 And so, we're going to be okay. 2026 01:45:52,952 --> 01:45:54,688 And you did that, Mr Walliker. 2027 01:45:54,721 --> 01:45:56,089 It wasn't magic. 2028 01:45:57,023 --> 01:45:58,992 It was you. 2029 01:45:59,025 --> 01:46:03,730 So, I'll overlook your tendency to be a little aloof-- 2030 01:46:03,763 --> 01:46:05,799 Some might call it condescending. 2031 01:46:05,832 --> 01:46:07,600 Supercilious is a good word 2032 01:46:07,634 --> 01:46:11,471 and you probably don't hear it enough, but the point is... 2033 01:46:14,607 --> 01:46:15,675 thank you. 2034 01:46:17,844 --> 01:46:19,012 [Nicolette] Mr Walliker? 2035 01:46:20,647 --> 01:46:23,049 We're going to The Spaniards for a drink. 2036 01:46:23,083 --> 01:46:26,753 Um, and if you wanted to come, 2037 01:46:26,786 --> 01:46:29,222 well, we'd be there 2038 01:46:29,255 --> 01:46:33,793 because that's where we'll be. 2039 01:46:33,827 --> 01:46:36,996 [Nicolette] Can't be taught. Can't be taught. It was unbelievable. 2040 01:46:37,030 --> 01:46:38,898 -Mrs Darcy. -The flautists, an absolute triumph. 2041 01:46:38,932 --> 01:46:41,101 [Francesca] One of the best Christmas shows I've ever seen. 2042 01:46:41,134 --> 01:46:43,636 [Nicolette] Christmas shows don't get much better than that. Extraordinary. 2043 01:46:43,670 --> 01:46:45,839 No, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that. 2044 01:46:45,872 --> 01:46:47,707 -[Shazzer] Billy! How did it go? -Billy! 2045 01:46:47,741 --> 01:46:48,875 -I did a solo. -[Jude] Oh! 2046 01:46:48,908 --> 01:46:50,176 Congratulations. 2047 01:46:50,210 --> 01:46:52,512 Come here. Have a squidge. 2048 01:46:52,545 --> 01:46:54,514 He was brilliant. 2049 01:46:54,547 --> 01:46:56,182 -Hello, Mabel. How are you? -[Shazzer] Well done. I bet you were. 2050 01:46:56,216 --> 01:46:58,118 -Chloe has a video. -[Tom] You look lovely. 2051 01:46:58,151 --> 01:46:59,753 -[Shazzer] There's a video? -[Jude] A video? 2052 01:46:59,786 --> 01:47:01,021 [Shazzer] Chloe? Video? 2053 01:47:02,589 --> 01:47:03,890 [Tom] Congratulations. 2054 01:47:03,923 --> 01:47:05,525 Hi. Uh, four, uh... 2055 01:47:05,558 --> 01:47:07,694 large glasses of white wine, please. 2056 01:47:07,727 --> 01:47:09,062 [Shazzer] Wine. Wine. 2057 01:47:09,095 --> 01:47:11,131 Oh, house white. Party petrol. 2058 01:47:11,164 --> 01:47:13,767 -[Billy] Bikram's here! -[server] Your wine, ladies. 2059 01:47:13,800 --> 01:47:16,803 -[Chloe] What are you doing down there? -Nothing. 2060 01:47:16,836 --> 01:47:19,005 -[Shazzer] Well, there we go. -Congratulations, darling. 2061 01:47:19,039 --> 01:47:21,041 -To Billy. -He was wonderful. Billy. 2062 01:47:21,074 --> 01:47:23,209 -Absolutely wonderful. -[Shazzer] Yes. 2063 01:47:23,243 --> 01:47:26,513 But I can tell you, I... I knew from his glow it was a triumph. 2064 01:47:26,546 --> 01:47:28,148 -[Bridget chuckles] -No, honestly. 2065 01:47:28,181 --> 01:47:30,116 I mean, once you've tasted success... 2066 01:47:30,150 --> 01:47:32,285 [Bridget, Shazzer laughing] 2067 01:47:32,318 --> 01:47:34,154 [Jude] You had literally one song, Tom. 2068 01:47:34,187 --> 01:47:36,690 Yes, you know, my mother always says 2069 01:47:36,723 --> 01:47:39,192 if you've got nothing nice to say, then shut the fuck up. 2070 01:47:39,225 --> 01:47:41,061 Your mother's right, so shut the fuck up. 2071 01:47:41,094 --> 01:47:43,096 [Shazzer] We should never shut the fuck up. 2072 01:47:43,129 --> 01:47:45,565 Stop telling everyone else to shut the fuck up. 2073 01:47:45,598 --> 01:47:47,567 [Tom] We can, yes. 2074 01:47:47,600 --> 01:47:48,568 [chattering within] 2075 01:47:50,270 --> 01:47:52,872 -[Billy] No. Come on. -[Bikram] Good overtaking. 2076 01:47:52,906 --> 01:47:54,674 No, I didn't. That was him. 2077 01:47:54,708 --> 01:47:56,543 Mum. That way. 2078 01:48:03,283 --> 01:48:04,751 [Bridget] Mr Walliker! 2079 01:48:06,686 --> 01:48:07,854 Aren't you coming in? 2080 01:48:07,887 --> 01:48:09,856 Well, actually, I was. I... 2081 01:48:09,889 --> 01:48:11,758 I wanted to say something to you, 2082 01:48:11,791 --> 01:48:13,259 but it's the wrong time. 2083 01:48:13,293 --> 01:48:15,662 You're there with everyone, and... [stammers] 2084 01:48:15,695 --> 01:48:18,231 I'm better with people about 4 foot tall. [chuckles] 2085 01:48:18,264 --> 01:48:22,035 4'1". That's my sweet spot, as it turns out, so... 2086 01:48:23,136 --> 01:48:24,804 Where are you going? 2087 01:48:29,843 --> 01:48:32,679 Well, look, I really just wanted to discuss Newton. 2088 01:48:32,712 --> 01:48:34,314 Newton? 2089 01:48:34,347 --> 01:48:37,350 I mean, we already covered Newton's second law, gravity, 2090 01:48:37,384 --> 01:48:39,919 in the tree when you were pretending not to be stuck. 2091 01:48:39,953 --> 01:48:43,790 But the one that's always fascinated me isn't the second law. 2092 01:48:43,823 --> 01:48:46,960 I mean, any idiot can see that an apple's gonna fall down. 2093 01:48:46,993 --> 01:48:48,294 What's it gonna do, fall up? 2094 01:48:48,328 --> 01:48:50,597 It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second. 2095 01:48:50,630 --> 01:48:53,800 No, the one that's always interested me is the third law. 2096 01:48:53,833 --> 01:48:55,301 You'll know what that is. 2097 01:48:55,335 --> 01:48:56,636 Yes. 2098 01:48:56,670 --> 01:48:59,606 [chuckles] Of course. But go on. 2099 01:48:59,639 --> 01:49:03,143 For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. 2100 01:49:03,176 --> 01:49:05,245 It's a fundamental law of our universe. 2101 01:49:05,278 --> 01:49:07,781 It's, uh... It's an inescapable fact of our existence, 2102 01:49:07,814 --> 01:49:09,883 and I was coming to say that you are... 2103 01:49:11,051 --> 01:49:14,087 this force, Mrs Darcy... 2104 01:49:15,321 --> 01:49:16,256 to me. 2105 01:49:18,191 --> 01:49:21,795 Equal and... opposite. 2106 01:49:21,828 --> 01:49:26,299 And just as Newton predicted, it's irresistible. 2107 01:49:28,835 --> 01:49:29,803 I see it. 2108 01:49:32,105 --> 01:49:34,641 Right now, just standing here, I feel it, 2109 01:49:34,674 --> 01:49:38,078 and it's as real to me as the things I loved when I was a boy 2110 01:49:38,111 --> 01:49:40,080 and first started looking at the world. 2111 01:49:40,113 --> 01:49:42,716 You see, it's not really order 2112 01:49:42,749 --> 01:49:46,052 that we science people fall in love with, Mrs Darcy, 2113 01:49:46,086 --> 01:49:48,121 it's the beauty in things. 2114 01:49:50,857 --> 01:49:52,125 The beauty, 2115 01:49:52,892 --> 01:49:54,227 to be specific... 2116 01:49:57,864 --> 01:49:59,199 in you. 2117 01:50:03,903 --> 01:50:05,205 Oh. 2118 01:50:06,072 --> 01:50:08,408 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 2119 01:50:08,441 --> 01:50:10,343 -I don't know what I was thinking. -No, no. 2120 01:50:10,377 --> 01:50:12,345 This is exactly why I decided not to come in. 2121 01:50:12,379 --> 01:50:14,347 I've clearly got entirely the wrong end of the-- 2122 01:50:14,381 --> 01:50:15,982 -Mr Walliker... -Look, I just want you to know 2123 01:50:16,016 --> 01:50:17,951 that this is not going to be awkward at all. At all. 2124 01:50:17,984 --> 01:50:20,687 -Please stop talking. [shushing] -With Billy and school. 2125 01:50:20,720 --> 01:50:22,956 Let's just pretend this never happened, please. Let's just-- 2126 01:50:39,039 --> 01:50:41,408 It was either that or a whistle, 2127 01:50:41,441 --> 01:50:44,444 and I haven't got a whistle, Mr Walliker. 2128 01:50:46,913 --> 01:50:48,448 Call me Scott, for God's sake. 2129 01:50:50,316 --> 01:50:51,851 Yes, Mr Walliker. 2130 01:51:02,429 --> 01:51:04,464 ["Am I the Same Girl" playing] 2131 01:51:09,803 --> 01:51:12,906 Right, shake it, shake it, shake it. No, go mad. 2132 01:51:12,939 --> 01:51:14,407 That's it. Now pour it out. 2133 01:51:15,475 --> 01:51:16,443 Very good. 2134 01:51:17,210 --> 01:51:19,279 Insert one cherry. 2135 01:51:19,312 --> 01:51:22,716 And that, my friends, is how we make a Dirty Bitch. 2136 01:51:24,784 --> 01:51:28,054 Christ. That may even be a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round. 2137 01:51:28,088 --> 01:51:30,957 Now, similar but not at all the same, 2138 01:51:31,825 --> 01:51:33,026 the Bad Mummy. 2139 01:51:33,059 --> 01:51:34,928 Little bit of vodka. 2140 01:51:34,961 --> 01:51:36,363 -Yeah? -Come here. 2141 01:51:36,396 --> 01:51:38,365 Okay, you're in charge. 2142 01:51:42,569 --> 01:51:44,037 [exclaims] 2143 01:51:44,070 --> 01:51:45,939 Is that who I think it is? 2144 01:51:45,972 --> 01:51:48,141 So they tell me, yeah. What do you think? 2145 01:51:48,174 --> 01:51:50,377 [Enzo] You have sad eyes, angelo mio. 2146 01:51:50,410 --> 01:51:53,046 Why so sad? They make me sad. 2147 01:51:53,079 --> 01:51:54,814 I want to see the smile. 2148 01:51:54,848 --> 01:51:56,016 Stop it. 2149 01:51:56,049 --> 01:51:57,817 He's 16! 2150 01:51:57,851 --> 01:51:59,519 Yeah. Late starter. 2151 01:51:59,552 --> 01:52:01,321 [Nicolette] Where in Italy are you from? 2152 01:52:01,354 --> 01:52:03,189 -Bologna. -Bologna. 2153 01:52:03,223 --> 01:52:04,391 -Yeah. -Say it again. 2154 01:52:04,424 --> 01:52:06,226 -Bologna. [chuckles] -Bologna. 2155 01:52:06,259 --> 01:52:08,128 Enzo, the kids are gonna watch a movie upstairs. You coming? 2156 01:52:08,161 --> 01:52:09,262 He'll stay. 2157 01:52:11,031 --> 01:52:11,998 Boys. 2158 01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:15,368 I think you're proud. 2159 01:52:15,402 --> 01:52:17,237 Relief, really, Jones. 2160 01:52:17,270 --> 01:52:18,972 Kin, as you said. 2161 01:52:20,407 --> 01:52:22,075 -Enzo. -Yeah? 2162 01:52:22,108 --> 01:52:23,410 [in Italian] Vieni qua. 2163 01:52:23,443 --> 01:52:25,011 -I beg your pardon. -Okay. 2164 01:52:25,045 --> 01:52:27,113 -Ciao. -Ciao. 2165 01:52:27,147 --> 01:52:29,049 [Daniel] This is your hostess 2166 01:52:29,082 --> 01:52:32,085 and one of the great loves of your father's life, Bridget Jones. 2167 01:52:34,954 --> 01:52:36,389 Ooh! 2168 01:52:36,423 --> 01:52:39,092 It's nice to meet you, Enzo. 2169 01:52:39,125 --> 01:52:40,593 [speaking Italian] 2170 01:52:40,627 --> 01:52:43,296 He says it is a great honour to meet you. 2171 01:52:43,329 --> 01:52:46,566 -Oh! -[speaking Italian] 2172 01:52:48,468 --> 01:52:51,137 And then he says that those are 2173 01:52:51,171 --> 01:52:53,440 very, very silly little boots. 2174 01:52:56,576 --> 01:52:58,978 You have incredible posture. 2175 01:53:00,146 --> 01:53:01,448 You're not Danish, are you? 2176 01:53:01,481 --> 01:53:03,283 Well, I can be anything you want. 2177 01:53:03,316 --> 01:53:05,452 It is, isn't it? I know, and it's working really well for you, 2178 01:53:05,485 --> 01:53:07,554 but all I'm saying is maybe it's time for a rebrand. 2179 01:53:07,587 --> 01:53:09,589 Have you ever thought about having a pixie cut? 2180 01:53:09,622 --> 01:53:11,057 [scoffs] No. 2181 01:53:11,091 --> 01:53:12,392 Oh, you have the face for it. 2182 01:53:12,425 --> 01:53:14,427 And it's utterly changed my life. [chuckles] 2183 01:53:14,461 --> 01:53:17,030 Nonsense, Pam. You're perfect just as you are. 2184 01:53:17,063 --> 01:53:18,865 Is that a Dirty Bitch? 2185 01:53:19,666 --> 01:53:21,434 Steady on. 2186 01:53:21,468 --> 01:53:24,137 Oh, yes, please. Yes, thank you very much. 2187 01:53:24,170 --> 01:53:25,939 [Shazzer] Thanks. 2188 01:53:25,972 --> 01:53:27,440 -[Tom] Just what the doctor ordered. -[Jude] Me too. 2189 01:53:27,474 --> 01:53:30,243 -Always. Take a horn. -Give me the fucking horn. 2190 01:53:30,276 --> 01:53:32,012 -Thank you, thank you. -[Bridget] Yep. 2191 01:53:32,045 --> 01:53:35,482 -Mmm. Oh. -[Tom] Mmm. Mmm. 2192 01:53:35,515 --> 01:53:38,985 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have done in the past 20 years without you lot. 2193 01:53:39,019 --> 01:53:41,521 -Twenty? -No, it's not. It's thirty? 2194 01:53:41,554 --> 01:53:43,490 Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest. 2195 01:53:43,523 --> 01:53:45,959 We've had some fucking fun though, haven't we? 2196 01:53:49,229 --> 01:53:50,897 We have. 2197 01:53:52,365 --> 01:53:55,935 [guests] Ten, nine, eight, 2198 01:53:55,969 --> 01:53:59,339 seven, six, five, 2199 01:53:59,372 --> 01:54:01,975 four, three, 2200 01:54:02,008 --> 01:54:04,110 two, one! 2201 01:54:04,144 --> 01:54:06,980 Happy New Year! 2202 01:54:07,013 --> 01:54:09,115 -[party blowers blaring] -[guests cheering] 2203 01:54:10,984 --> 01:54:12,352 * ...be forgot* 2204 01:54:12,385 --> 01:54:15,255 * And never brought to mind?* 2205 01:54:15,288 --> 01:54:16,956 Happy New Year. 2206 01:54:16,990 --> 01:54:20,994 * Should auld acquaintance Be forgot* 2207 01:54:21,027 --> 01:54:25,331 * For the sake Of auld lang syne?* 2208 01:54:25,365 --> 01:54:29,569 * For auld lang syne, my dear* 2209 01:54:29,602 --> 01:54:34,107 * For auld lang syne* 2210 01:54:34,140 --> 01:54:38,611 * We'll take a cup Of kindness yet* 2211 01:54:38,645 --> 01:54:42,982 * For the sake Of auld lang syne* 2212 01:54:43,016 --> 01:54:44,384 [piano flourish] 2213 01:54:44,417 --> 01:54:46,386 [playing boogie-woogie piano] 2214 01:54:46,419 --> 01:54:48,121 [guests cheering] 2215 01:54:50,423 --> 01:54:52,025 [chattering, whooping] 2216 01:54:53,360 --> 01:54:55,028 [party blower honking] 2217 01:55:01,434 --> 01:55:03,036 [music fades] 2218 01:56:23,650 --> 01:56:25,151 [Mabel] I forgot to check. 2219 01:56:30,357 --> 01:56:31,291 Look. 2220 01:56:43,236 --> 01:56:44,671 [owl hooting] 2221 01:56:59,252 --> 01:57:00,286 [Mabel] Goodnight. 2222 01:57:19,406 --> 01:57:20,874 Ooh. 2223 01:57:20,907 --> 01:57:22,575 Bloody zip. 2224 01:57:23,576 --> 01:57:24,844 [sighs] 2225 01:57:25,845 --> 01:57:27,514 [groans] 2226 01:57:27,547 --> 01:57:30,817 Bastard tyrannical dress people. 2227 01:57:35,722 --> 01:57:37,090 I've got it. 2228 01:57:40,293 --> 01:57:41,594 Thank you. 2229 01:57:47,367 --> 01:57:48,735 Happy New Year. 2230 01:57:48,768 --> 01:57:51,271 Happy New Year. [chuckles] 2231 01:58:26,339 --> 01:58:28,508 ["It Isn't Perfect, But It Might Be" playing] 2232 01:58:28,541 --> 01:58:31,244 [vocalising] 2233 01:58:32,779 --> 01:58:36,349 * I could go back to The old place * 2234 01:58:36,383 --> 01:58:39,753 * And write your name On every blank page * 2235 01:58:39,786 --> 01:58:43,623 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2236 01:58:43,656 --> 01:58:46,893 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2237 01:58:46,926 --> 01:58:50,697 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2238 01:58:50,730 --> 01:58:54,267 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2239 01:58:54,300 --> 01:58:57,837 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2240 01:58:57,871 --> 01:59:02,542 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2241 01:59:02,575 --> 01:59:06,312 [vocalising] 2242 01:59:09,883 --> 01:59:14,254 * There's a lot of ground To cover * 2243 01:59:14,287 --> 01:59:16,956 * One foot and then the other * 2244 01:59:16,990 --> 01:59:22,395 * On my way, my way To somewhere new * 2245 01:59:24,330 --> 01:59:27,867 * A few false starts Can you forgive this * 2246 01:59:27,901 --> 01:59:31,338 * Cautious car and just bear with it * 2247 01:59:31,371 --> 01:59:36,976 * While it does what I thought it couldn't do * 2248 01:59:37,010 --> 01:59:40,847 * I could go back to The old place * 2249 01:59:40,880 --> 01:59:44,384 * And write your name On every blank page * 2250 01:59:44,417 --> 01:59:48,021 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2251 01:59:48,054 --> 01:59:51,424 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2252 01:59:51,458 --> 01:59:55,028 * They say no need to Look behind me * 2253 01:59:55,061 --> 01:59:58,565 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2254 01:59:58,598 --> 02:00:02,435 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2255 02:00:02,469 --> 02:00:07,040 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2256 02:00:07,073 --> 02:00:12,445 [vocalising] 2257 02:00:12,479 --> 02:00:14,481 * Mmm * 2258 02:00:14,514 --> 02:00:18,451 * Treading lightly Thinking slightly * 2259 02:00:18,485 --> 02:00:21,821 * It just might be It just might be * 2260 02:00:21,855 --> 02:00:25,358 * Treading lightly Thinking slightly * 2261 02:00:25,392 --> 02:00:28,928 * It just might be It just might be * 2262 02:00:28,962 --> 02:00:30,864 * It just might be * 2263 02:00:30,897 --> 02:00:34,467 * Oh, I can go back to The old place * 2264 02:00:34,501 --> 02:00:38,071 * And write your name On every blank page * 2265 02:00:38,104 --> 02:00:41,908 * But it's a story now Just a story now * 2266 02:00:41,941 --> 02:00:45,378 * Just the kind of thing that You'd say * 2267 02:00:45,412 --> 02:00:48,948 * That there's no need to Look behind me * 2268 02:00:48,982 --> 02:00:52,585 * That I can keep you Here beside me * 2269 02:00:52,619 --> 02:00:56,322 * To make a mess of it To make the best of it * 2270 02:00:56,356 --> 02:01:00,794 * It isn't perfect But it might be * 2271 02:01:00,827 --> 02:01:04,497 [vocalising] 2272 02:01:04,531 --> 02:01:06,433 * Like it might be * 2273 02:01:07,834 --> 02:01:10,570 * Like it might be * 2274 02:01:10,603 --> 02:01:12,539 [vocalising] 2275 02:01:12,572 --> 02:01:16,810 * Whoo, whoo * 2276 02:01:19,713 --> 02:01:23,083 * Might be, might be Might be * 2277 02:01:24,918 --> 02:01:27,587 ["Have You Met Miss Jones?" playing] 2278 02:01:34,694 --> 02:01:38,031 * "Have you met Miss Jones?" * 2279 02:01:38,064 --> 02:01:42,902 * Someone said as We shook hands * 2280 02:01:42,936 --> 02:01:48,575 * She was just Miss Jones To me * 2281 02:01:49,976 --> 02:01:54,114 * And then I said "Miss Jones * 2282 02:01:54,147 --> 02:01:58,118 * You're a girl Who understands * 2283 02:01:58,151 --> 02:02:04,424 * I'm a man Who must be free" * 2284 02:02:04,457 --> 02:02:08,428 * And all at once I lost my breath * 2285 02:02:08,461 --> 02:02:12,032 * And all at once Was scared to death * 2286 02:02:12,065 --> 02:02:14,701 * And all at once * 2287 02:02:14,734 --> 02:02:21,708 * I owned the earth and sky * 2288 02:02:21,741 --> 02:02:25,979 * And now I've met Miss Jones * 2289 02:02:26,012 --> 02:02:31,851 * And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die * 2290 02:02:31,885 --> 02:02:34,487 * Miss Jones and I * 2291 02:02:36,756 --> 02:02:38,024 * Whoa, fellas * 2292 02:03:15,061 --> 02:03:18,898 * And all at once I lost my breath * 2293 02:03:18,932 --> 02:03:22,869 * And all at once Was scared to death * 2294 02:03:22,902 --> 02:03:25,505 * And all at once * 2295 02:03:25,538 --> 02:03:30,477 * I owned the earth and sky * 2296 02:03:32,112 --> 02:03:36,049 * Now I've met Miss Jones * 2297 02:03:36,082 --> 02:03:42,589 * And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die * 2298 02:03:42,622 --> 02:03:45,492 * Miss Jones and I * 2299 02:03:46,693 --> 02:03:48,995 * Miss Jones and I * 2300 02:03:50,230 --> 02:03:52,699 * Miss Jones and I * 2301 02:03:54,701 --> 02:04:01,574 * Miss Jones and I * 2302 02:04:05,712 --> 02:04:07,013 * Ha! * 2303 02:04:09,015 --> 02:04:11,651 [music playing] 2304 02:04:41,715 --> 02:04:43,616 [music ends]