This programme contains strong language
Just sometimes it helps distract me...
..from the sound.
The one that's always there.
Everywhere.
Or I lose myself.
HUMMING
I definitely thought it was sleep deprivation at first.
Like, before you fall asleep and you think you're falling.
I, like... I see the ground open up in front of me.
But since we started talking...
..they started to get more, like, epic.
They got really bad.
Nights of no sleep and my head pounding.
And there were a few times where all I could think about
was killing myself...
..on repeat.
I'm so sorry.
No, I mean...
..I got that a few times before, but nothing like this.
I mean, I thought my brain was broken.
I felt so fucking alone.
INTENSE HUMMING
But, you know, that's changed...
..obviously.
I love you.
I don't mean that I'm in love with you, but...
..I love you.
HUMMING
THEY GIGGLE
HUMMING BUILDS
GROANING
THEY LAUGH
Bye. See you.
INTENSE HUMMING
HUMMING FADES
RUNNING WATER
PHONE BUZZES
Morning. I hope you're OK.
It would be good to talk today if you can.
Sweetheart, I'm worried about you.
Can we just talk, Kyle?
Kyle, please.
Hi.
Erm...
..I am OK.
Erm...
I mean, I've been not OK.
It's been awful.
About as awful as it gets, but...
..something happened. I'm...
No. No, no.
I did something.
I broke through.
And I am really...
..OK.
I'm fine. OK, good. Good.
Are you staying with someone or are you on your own?
I don't want you to worry.
If you are not here, worrying about you is all I've got.
Is it that woman or is it that... OK. ..group of whatever...? I...
Fuck off.
DOORBELL
It's like a rip.
It's like the universe has been...
..torn open.
And...
And everything comes from inside the hum...
..and inside of me.
And...
..it's like I'm being pulled inside of it.
SHE EXHALES
And every...
HUMMING
..every atom...
..in our bodies...
..found their frequency.
HUMMING BUILDS
And we found it...
..and we stayed in it.
SHE LAUGHS
And you don't remember how long?
Erm... A while.
HUMMING CONTINUES
SHE LAUGHS
I didn't get it.
I couldn't get it before this, but now... Now I... I get it.
No, it's wonderful.
It's truly... It's just...
..you shouldn't really be listening on your own.
You're joking?
I...
HUMMING FADES
Were you telling me that the two of you never do it just the two of you?
We've been doing this for far longer.
I'm sorry, but, I mean, I thought...
..we were just doing what you encouraged us to do.
Without a proper guide,
this can tip into something very frightening.
A state closer to psychosis.
No, no...
No.
Your physical symptoms...
HUMMING
..what happened in the shower...
ECHOING: ..your sleeplessness, seemed particularly acute,
and this suggests that you might be more susceptible to...
INTENSE HUMMING
..becoming lost in it,
and that can be very scary, Claire.
No, no, it's... No, no...
Claire... We know, we know. Just drink your tea.
..you're on a precipice. No, no, this felt different.
It felt... We know, we know. Now, drink your tea.
There's Ayurvedic herbs that have
very powerful anti-psychotic properties.
You've got turmeric...
INTENSE HUMMING
I used to drink a lot at the beginning.
It's just...
Is she...
Is she... Are you... Are you OK?
Yeah.
It's just a headache.
Just drink your tea.
There's Ayurvedic herbs that have very powerful
anti-psychotic properties.
Water hyssop, ground turmeric, ashwagandha, shatavari, maca root,
estradiol, valerian.
I used to drink a lot at the beginning.
Do you want to lie down? Yeah. OK, good. Good idea.
Take the spare room.
ECHOING: Claire, you're on a precipice.
We need to be very careful how we can guide you back, OK?
SHE GASPS
HUMMING
SHE GASPS
SHE PANTS
Oh...!
HUMMING
HUMMING BUILDS
ALL: Aaaaaaaaaaah...
Welcome back.
Just find a spot.
ALL: Aaaaaaaaaaa...
..aaaaaaaaaaa...
..aaaaaaaaaaah...
HUMMING
HUMMING BUILDS
Hello?
She's with them, Dad. Can you just call her?
Look, I don't think me harassing her is going to do any good, Ash.
Can you just wait for her?
Come here.
What the fuck is happening to her? I don't know.
DOORBELL
Oh, hi.
You won't go back, will you?
You know it's just fear pulling you there.
Yeah, well, that felt really fucking good just now.
Yeah?
What's up with the phones? In the bowl?
Oh, we found it helps everyone be more focused, more present.
How are you feeling?
Good.
It felt really great being with everyone.
You were right, go forward with the group.
SIOBHAN: I have no idea where he's been sleeping.
What? For how long?
A few nights, a week.
Has he been here?
Well, he said you kicked him out.
Excuse me?
Can we scale this back...?
He was at this party after prom and he said you kicked him out.
Well, he's lying. Of course I didn't kick him out.
Can you just lower your voice? Of course I didn't kick him out!
So, do you have, erm, much support, Noam?
Wow. Big question. I know.
Erm, yeah, I've got a partner, and he's...
I mean, it's... It's been difficult, yeah,
because, erm, very quickly he made it about my mental health,
which, erm, has been quite tough.
Yes, I know.
I think that's...honestly something that pretty much everyone has felt.
It's really difficult.
I mean, my husband and daughter,
they were so quick to dismiss it as stress or a breakdown.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I get it, you know?
But do you, though?
And if he's lying, then...
Well, if he's not here, then he's at that group, and...
Dad! Yeah, look, we'll just wait here,
they'll finish up and then we can all just have a discussion. No!
Thank you for your time.
Fuck.
NOAM: Erm, so, husband and daughter, was it? Mm-hm.
Yes. Ashley.
She's 17. 17?! Mm.
My God, the babies were having babies.
Yeah.
Are they, erm...
..you know?
Mm-mm. No.
They...
They left.
But...
..I'm so grateful for this community.
Really.
Because it's been fucking hard...
..and I've not known what to do
or how to actually take care of myself.
This is the right place.
These are the people.
Anyway, I'm... I'm really happy that you're here.
Thank you.
I know she's in there, Ashley... Yeah, well, I'm going.
I don't think there's anything to be gained by... Ashley!
CAR DOOR SLAMS
Yeah, this morning we had a really lovely session...
Did you try the grapefruit?
Why is Ashley here?
Huh?
It's Claire's daughter. She's outside.
She's with someone - a woman I don't recognise.
Oh, shit.
DOORBELL
I mean, she's obviously just concerned about you, you know?
She wants to section me. That's disgraceful. It's OK.
Look, that's not going to happen, is it?
Like, she's not going to be able to do that. You'd be surprised.
No, no, she won't listen to me.
It's all right. We support you, Kyle.
I'm so sorry.
We want this, OK? Let me go to them.
With your permission, Claire and Kyle...
..I'd like to ask them to leave.
I don't know that that's...
OK.
Yeah... Well, yeah.
Yeah, sure. OK, thank you. Yes.
Hey, it's going to be OK.
It's not... Hey.
Hello. Is he in there?
Mrs Francis.
Paul.
I am Omar and this is Jo.
I don't give a shit who you are. Just give me my son back.
We don't have your son to give. Are you for real?
Can you just... Can you just ask Kyle to come out?
Oh, Kyle doesn't want to come out. Neither does Claire.
They asked that we come out instead.
OK, well... Sorry, is it money? Sex?
We just want to be left in peace to listen together. OK, bullshit.
You enjoy vulnerable people needing you. It's just ego, power...
What's inside there is a supportive, loving family.
Fuck off.
The people you love are loved.
Why is it so hard... OK. ..for you to...
Hi. Erm, police, please. Thank you. Yeah.
Hold on a sec. I'm not sure. Sorry, what's the address?
I'd like you to leave our property now, please.
12 Meridian Drive. Yeah.
I really don't think we need to do this. No, it's my son.
My son is being held by a group of, I don't know, erm, like a cult or...
OK. He's 17 and he's in...
They're all much older than him... Let's go. ..and he's vulnerable.
My name is Siobhan Francis. My son's name is Kyle...
HUMMING
This is...
It's OK.
Maybe we should just send him out.
Everyone in there is here by choice, Omar.
I know. We're not doing anything wrong.
Claire...
..I'd like you to call them and ask them to leave, please.
Ashley? Hey. Are you OK?
This wasn't me, OK? But she keeps saying that they have her son
and just can you... Can you please... Can you make this stop?
No, we don't have him. We're not holding him captive.
Jesus Christ.
Why did you even bring her here?
I didn't. It wasn't like that. I just...
OK.
Can you put Dad on, please?
Well, do you love him?
Do you still love him? Do you love Dad?
Yes.
And what about me? Oh, of course I do.
Well, then, come out now with Kyle and we can all go home.
He doesn't want to come out and neither do I.
Look, you're the ones that can stop this.
You can just walk away and go home.
Mum,
you have locked yourself in a house with a bunch of fucking lunatics!
They're not lunatics, Ashley. They're here for me.
We're here for you. We're literally fucking here!
They listen to me and they support me like a family.
I'm your family. Dad is your fucking family.
I felt something.
I have...
..felt a wholeness,
a connectedness beyond anything imaginable.
Beyond ecstasy or pleasure.
Ecstasy or pleasure?! And the work that we are doing...
What is she saying?
What is she say...?
I don't understand why we can't just, you know, go out there and...
Absolutely not. Agreed.
I mean, they're obviously just worried, you know,
and if we continue to barricade ourselves...
No-one's barricading.
You know, they've called the police and, you know... Precisely.
They're the ones fucking escalating. Yeah.
Kyle?
That's your mum.
She just wants to know that you're OK.
For weeks I have been trying to convince her...
..that I am, in fact, fucking OK.
But she doesn't listen to me.
And instead she tries to medicate me and hospitalise me
and she calls the fucking police.
Does that seem like logic you can reason with?
Claire?
Claire, that's your kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I want what's best for her.
She's not out there on her own, Noam. She's with her father.
No, this... This is something that I need.
And I truly believe that I need this
in order to be the best version of myself.
But because it isn't...
..exactly what they want me to be...
..because for the first time in a...
..in a really fucking long time
I'm not putting them and their needs above mine, well...
Well, then, that's a problem.
Because I want something,
then they call the police to the door.
SHE SCOFFS
No.
Walking out of here...
..into their fear...
..and their projection and...
..their confusion and panic and...
..theft and...
..closed-mindedness...
..that steals clarity and conviction from us.
No.
No, this will not end the way that you think it will
if we just walk out of here.
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
Nice.
OK, we've got Siobhan Francis - mum.
Says her son Kyle is in this address being held by, and I quote, a cult.
Cult?
Not had anything on the address. Kid is 17.
Mum says he's vulnerable, history of mental health.
The eight of us are peacefully gathering
in this residence by choice.
Please respect our privacy.
Thank you.
We want to de-escalate, Damian.
And they're in there because they can hear a noise?
A hum, they call it. A hum.
Why are we specifying a number?
Yeah. It makes us sound like trapped miners.
It's your wife that's in there as well, is it, sir? Yeah. Claire.
Any reason to believe she's not in there of her own free will?
I mean, she's an enthusiastic participant, but she's not...
Is Kyle under any medication, Mrs Francis,
or under any kind of hospital care?
No, but he has been in the past.
Omar, the leader or whatever, he's been in trouble before.
He was fired for basically running a cult in his university.
His real name is Oscar Barrett.
We'll take it from here.
DOORBELL
So, erm...
..I'm going to go. No. What do you mean, "No"?
Look, I know this is really fucking stressful. Yeah, no shit, Claire.
It's extraordinary for all of us.
INTENSE HUMMING
But I really believe that this is the right...
..the right place for you and for all of us, right?
Yes? Look, I know you're having your moment and whatever,
and I really hope that everyone's going to be all all right and that,
but I'm not going to sit in here... Can we regroup?
..whilst the police are outside, because that's just fucking wild!
I don't want to fucking regroup! Get your fucking hands off me!
I don't want to be touched, all right?
I think we should get that. No, we shouldn't get that.
I just want to fucking leave. You seem upset, sweetheart.
Just try and keep calm. I am calm! You don't seem calm.
Well, it's just because I've said I want to go.
Please, just all agree to stay until they've left. Please. Is that a gun?
DOORBELL
Have you got a fucking gun?
Damian? Just calm down. Calm down. Damian, why do you have a...
Why do you have a gun? It's locked and it's fine.
It is not fine. Oh, so there is a gun.
There's a fucking gun. No! No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You don't know what you're doing. Oh, my God!
Get off of me!
I said get the fuck off of me!
All right! I don't want to be fucking touched! OK.
Fucking go, then!
We didn't mean that. No, you fucking did. Fuck off!
We're a fucking family. Fuck off!
We're a family. Fucking family! Fuck you. Yeah, you fucking...
Oh, look. Sir, are you OK, sir?
Please, just leave me alone. Please. Is Kyle OK?
None... None of them are OK because they've all lost the fucking plot.
What do you mean? Is Kyle OK? Please.
Erm, there's a bloke in there and he's, like...
Like, he pushed me to the floor. He's got a fucking gun.
Kyle! I need to speak to my wife.
How the fuck did I get caught up in this shit?!
Yeah, I know that.
I know that, Tom.
No, I am listening.
I can't quite...
No, I'm fine. I don't want to come out.
What do we do?
Sorry to call.
I love you, too.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.
It's my son.
Aaron. He's...
..the only thing that's been keeping me going.
This is for him.
Cos this makes me feel like I can protect him.
When everything else is so fucking out of control,
that at least...he's safe.
That's the only thing I can do.
I'm so sorry.
Claire and Kyle...
..they've made a very brave decision today,
choosing us,
and...
..we all have chosen one another.
And that's beautiful.
I am so proud of us.
This is family. That's all we have.
Fuck!
HUMMING
Soon we will all have to walk out of here.
And we may never...
..be able to gather again.
I feel I've let you down.
But...
..there is one more thing...
..that we could do...
..and that we should do.
HUMMING
We listen.
ALL: Hmmmmmmmmmmm...
..mmmmmmmmmmmm...
CLAIRE INHALES
..mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Aaaaaaaaaaah...
ALL: Aaaaaaaaaaaa...
..aaaaaaaaaaaa...
Ah! Aaah! Ah!
..aaaaaaaaaaaa...
KYLE PANTS
..aaaaaaaaaaaah...
Radios! Ah!
Voices!
SHE LAUGHS
PANTING, GRUNTING
JO MIMICS CRYING
Your breath, your breath, your breath.
Let it move through you!
SCREAMS
Let it replace you. Let it replace you.
Let it move!
Move!
Atom by atom!
Go deeper! Go deeper!
HUMMING, GROANS
Go deeper!
MANIC LAUGHTER
HUMMING BUILDS, SCREAMS
Go deeper!
MANIC SCREAMS
Go deeper!
MUFFLED: When I was a girl I was happy.
INTENSE HUMMING
When I was a girl I was happy.
CLAIRE PANTS
HUMMING BUILDS
SCREAMING, CHANTING
MUFFLED SCREAMS, GROANS
CLAIRE GASPS
HUMMING BUILDS, GASPING
SHE CHOKES
Aaaargh!
SHE GASPS AND SCREAMS
ECHOING: I couldn't imagine how my life could unravel so...
I couldn't imagine how my life could unravel so completely.
Such a barely perceptible sound. So small.
I couldn't imagine how my life could unravel so completely.
When I was a girl I was happy.
I used to look at my mother and wonder...
.."Why aren't you happy?"
I used to watch her making dinner.
Making lasagnes and pies.
Roasting things - roasting joints and birds and legs of animals.
And I'd look at her face in the mirror when she brushed my hair.
Or when she taught me how to brush my teeth.
And I'd look at her face when she tied my shoelaces and...
..I used to think...
..you made a decision to be sad.
You made a decision to live a small life.
And I will never let that happen to me.
And when I had my baby...
..my girl, my daughter...
..well, the universe expanded.
It felt ginormous.
Everything grew around her.
It wasn't what I'd feared.
It wasn't that motherhood compressed, it was the opposite.
And she forced me, from when she was three seconds old,
she insisted me into a space where I chose to be happy.
I loved my job,
I love my husband, I love my friends,
I love its simplicity, I...
Life looks small but it feels huge.
It does. It did... It did.
It did.
But then...
..now...
..since and now...
..how can you go back when you've seen it all...
..when you know?
HUMMING
ECHOING: Claire? Claire. Claire.
Come back. Listen to my voice.
Hold on to my voice. Claire, it's OK. Claire, I'm here.
I'm here, I'm here. Keep talking. Hold her. OK.
Sorry. It's OK, it's OK.
Come back. Listen to my voice.
Hold on to my voice.
CLAIRE SCREAMS
Go!
Aaaargh!
CLAIRE PANTS
EUPHORIC LAUGHTER, GASPS
Armed police! Armed police!
Hey, Claire, listen, it's me, it's me. I'm here, I'm here.
It's everything, it's all of it, and it's...
..and it's right here, you just need to see them.
Armed police!
Put the gun down! Put the gun down! GUNSHOTS
SCREAMS
JO SOBS
No!
CLAIRE SOBS
SHE LAUGHS
I'm so sorry.
Hey.
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
I used to hope that I'd step into the road.
I think I just...
The thing that scares me now...
..is I know I'm supposed to want the...
..peaceful, quiet, healthy,
functional version of my life, but...
..I don't.
I really don't.
I miss that feeling of...
..when it was just about...
..to tip into chaos.
Claire?
Well...
..when I was a girl, I was happy.
Erm...
I used to look at my mother and wonder, "Why aren't you happy?"
The report came back from the council.
They say it was a compressor station.
Part of, like, a natural gas pipeline.
And it was making these low-frequency vibrations.
Apparently.
SHE SCOFFS
OK. Well...
How's Ashley?
Erm...
I think it's going to be hard.
Erm... She, erm...
Er, she didn't go to the funeral.
She's struggling.
SHE BREATHES SHAKILY
Thank you.
DOOR CLOSES
So, have you spoken to anyone from the group?
No.
I'm not going to, either.
What, so you've just stopped hearing it? It's gone?
Ashley.
It's fine.
Mm-hm.
So it was a gas pipe?
It looks that way.
It's what the city report says.
A gas pipe.
Someone's going to sue them.
I bet those people that came over that time will.
You know, that doctor.
Maybe.
I'm sure they feel very vindicated.
They were right.
It's over.
ALARM CLOCK BEEPS
Temperatures around about 12 to 14 degrees.
Tomorrow is probably the best day of the week.
Temperatures 19 degrees. Looks quite nice, actually, tomorrow.
Plenty of sunshine.
Then you get into
bank holiday Monday...
ALARM STOPS
..and it's a mixture of sunshine and showers, dry in parts.
Into next week, by the way, it's quite decent.
By Friday, we're talking 21 degrees.
Very nice.
Just because of that, just to let you know there are road closures
from around 11 o'clock to 5 today.
It's expected to cause some delays on roads
around Knutsford town centre.
The main road there is closed, but it's always an amazing day, that.
If you're looking for something to do today,
get there nice and early.
You might need to park just outside the town centre,
but then if you head in, there are road closures in Knutsford...
Right, great story on the BBC website today,
which is about interviews or scenarios when people
have been interviewed for jobs, and they talk about one particular
person who said that they had a bizarre experience
when applying for a student ambassador job for a new...
BRUSHES TEETH
RADIO CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY
BIRDSONG
HUMMING
HUMMING BUILDS
HUMMING INTENSIFIES
ECHOING THUMP
What's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard?
A lawnmower.
When I was a boy, I'd lie in the grass at my grandma's,
listening to the sound of her neighbour cutting his lawn
in the distance.
I remember feeling like time was limitless.
It was like the sound of eternity.
HUMMING CONTINUES
DISTANT WHIRRING