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00:00:06,580 --> 00:00:08,617
♪ ♪
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00:00:30,828 --> 00:00:32,732
[sighs deeply]
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[sniffles, exhales]
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[sobs]
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[exhales]
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[sighs]
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♪ ♪
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[insects trilling]
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["Dedicated to You"
by John Coltrane playing]
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♪ If I should write ♪
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♪ A book for you ♪
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♪ That brought me fame ♪
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♪ And fortune, too ♪
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♪ That book would be... ♪
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[sighs]
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You can't be here.
17
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Lois, please come sit.
18
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Please.
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00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:18,510
Redd, would you come out
and sit as well?
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She's making her famous, uh,
Cincinnati chili
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and lavender lemonade.
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We-we weren't sure
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where you were
with your sobriety, but--
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so we have options.
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Cincinnati what?
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Chili. It's, um...
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the secret is cinnamon
and unsweetened chocolate, yes?
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- And Worcestershire sauce.
- Oh.
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[Redd]
And of course, mild cheddar.
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- The sharp doesn't melt right.
- Mmm.
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- Good?
- That's good.
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- Mmm. Mmm.
- Great!
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What the fuck is
this freak show?
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[rattling]
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Come. Come, come. Come sit.
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I'll make you something.
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Now, please, just hear me out.
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Admittedly,
we have screwed a lot up.
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We haven't been guardians
of our good fortune,
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such as the miracle
of your recovery.
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There's so much good,
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so much worth holding on to.
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Like?
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Cheers, honey.
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A structure.
A foundation. A history.
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Merritt may well be finding
happiness of, uh, of some sort,
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but I think she still needs us.
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She needs a united front.
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Let's follow the example
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00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,463
of the young.
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Let's all live together.
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Marshall, are you insane?
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We've served each other
divorce papers--
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Nothing is final yet.
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You said you hated me!
[laughs]
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So what? Me, you,
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and the gourmet madam,
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we all gonna share
the same bed or what?
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Oh, well, no, uh, no.
That's, that's not exactly it.
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- And not,
not that I'm not fluid--
- No, no, no.
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00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:04,354
That part of us...
[chuckling]
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00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:05,724
That part of us-- you and I--
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- is over.
- [Redd chuckles] Marshall thinks
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that he and I should move
into the guest room
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and you should stay
where you are.
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00:04:13,641 --> 00:04:14,942
And you're all right with this?
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00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:17,080
Well, I did live
in a commune... [chuckles]
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...for a couple of months
in the 1980s.
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And... well, none of us are
getting any younger,
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no spring chickens here.
[laughs]
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And I do like cooking
for a crowd.
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The old ways don't work anymore.
Th-There must be new paradigms.
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I love you.
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I do not hate you.
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One says things in life,
but... family.
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Ed, your affair with Ed,
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everything we've done
to each other...
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Fuck.
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Don't tell me
I am still in a coma
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and I'm dreaming?
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Am I?
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[chuckling]
No.
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[chuckling]
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You gaslit me for years.
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00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:05,711
Let me be clear, Marshall.
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I intend to move forward
with this divorce
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00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:11,088
smoothly and efficiently.
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I don't want to love
or hate you.
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00:05:15,798 --> 00:05:19,839
I just want to be at peace
with what you are.
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00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:23,580
But, Lois,
we have an opportunity
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to do something deep,
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- something-something better.
- [shushing]
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Marshall, I told you
she wouldn't go for this.
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You know, women our age,
we can't forgive these things.
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Please, Lois.
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[sighs] I need
both of you so badly.
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Accountability is everything.
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Please.
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Just...
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Jesus. Go.
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Just go.
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[door opens]
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[door slams]
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♪ ♪
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How the fuck did I end up
in this terrible desert town?
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- But...
- [stammers] It offers nothing.
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Nothing!
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I mean, there's no, there's
no decent proper movie theatre,
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there's-- If you want a bagel,
good luck.
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And th-there's not even
a decent florist.
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[stammers] I thought
you liked silence.
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I hate it!
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What's that about?
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And I think I hate you, too,
a little bit,
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you know, just to be
perfectly frank.
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Yeah. God.
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Yeah, I suppose
this is the moment
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that I-I-I tell you, yeah.
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Tell me?
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I know. I know.
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I know it now
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because I suspected
and I found out.
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Why did you seduce me
if you didn't really want me?
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What are you talking about?
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Oh, oh, stop.
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[laughing]
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[mocking]
Oh, what are you talking about?
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One of the women came to see me.
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And she'd spoken to several
other faculty wives.
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Yeah, I do hope
you find some way
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of, you know, addressing
this compulsion.
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- Fucking in--
- Y-You should know. I fight it.
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For many, many years,
I-I believed in a moral code.
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No, but we now know
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that such a thing
does not matter.
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00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:15,022
Wh-What? So-so now
you just take whatever you want?
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00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:18,630
But hear me. Hear me here.
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This plan that you just
presented to Lois,
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I only went along with it
for one reason.
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Which is?
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I knew she'd turn you down.
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And I wanted to be present
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for your final humiliation.
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[inhales]
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Oh, geez, I've got to get
to the club.
146
00:08:47,956 --> 00:08:49,825
I've got to get
those girls in shape.
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Their pasties keep falling off
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and I don't think
it's an accident.
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♪ ♪
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I have so much love to share.
I love you.
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- I love my wife.
- I know.
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00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,890
But...
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00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:42,998
I'll give you
till the end of the week,
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00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,334
and then I want you gone.
155
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:47,941
It will be like
you never happened.
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Kind of a bad dream.
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00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:53,385
Which is meant to be forgotten.
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♪ ♪
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00:10:40,113 --> 00:10:41,782
[Marshall]
But maybe the management
of our terror has been
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00:10:41,783 --> 00:10:43,853
unequal to the task?
Like during the end of days
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00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:47,794
of the Roman empire, we too face
insurmountable obstacles,
162
00:10:47,795 --> 00:10:51,034
internal decay
and external pressure.
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00:10:51,035 --> 00:10:52,738
And economically,
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00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,777
economically growing
inequality and instability.
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Rome used slave labor.
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Well, we do too, really.
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Does that sound familiar?
168
00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:10,874
Because they too had
environmental collapse.
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00:11:10,875 --> 00:11:15,349
Rome's moral decline is
just like today's.
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00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:21,494
We-we-we see it all around us.
We see it all around us.
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00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:23,833
No moral coherence
or consequences.
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00:11:23,834 --> 00:11:25,837
Add to that cyber warfare
173
00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:27,440
and a cascade
of global conflicts
174
00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:29,912
we insist on meddling in,
and ladies and gentlemen,
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welcome to Ancient Rome!
176
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:40,166
[door closes]
177
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And, uh...
178
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:52,490
just like Rome...
179
00:11:54,461 --> 00:11:56,866
...we still cling to our...
180
00:11:59,404 --> 00:12:02,878
...outmoded modes of how to be.
181
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,198
Our small gods,
182
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,769
our prayers...
183
00:12:17,073 --> 00:12:20,112
...the very ways
we manage our terror...
184
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,820
...they did no good
in Ancient Rome
185
00:12:23,821 --> 00:12:26,057
and they do no good here today.
186
00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:29,030
It's every...
187
00:12:29,031 --> 00:12:31,168
every man for themselves.
188
00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:41,822
Thank you, class.
That... that's it for today.
189
00:12:41,823 --> 00:12:44,595
I-I need this space,
I need to talk
190
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:46,832
to these fine officers
that are coming here today.
191
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
192
00:12:50,974 --> 00:12:52,377
[door opens]
193
00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:02,063
[Hanover]
Professor.
194
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:03,331
Hi.
195
00:13:03,332 --> 00:13:04,601
[door shuts]
196
00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:06,204
Hello, Chief.
W-What can I do for you?
197
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:09,143
Professor, a student of yours,
Mary Colsby,
198
00:13:09,144 --> 00:13:11,381
has made a very serious charge
against you.
199
00:13:11,382 --> 00:13:12,517
Against me?
200
00:13:12,518 --> 00:13:14,521
Sexual assault.
201
00:13:14,522 --> 00:13:16,592
Is this Ms. Colsby?
202
00:13:18,262 --> 00:13:20,499
Y-Yes. Yes.
203
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,273
Uh-- Gale, look,
204
00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:26,579
Ms. Colsby and I had
a relationship,
205
00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:28,248
but it was as consenting adults.
206
00:13:28,249 --> 00:13:30,119
Uh-- there was no assault,
207
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,289
much less a rape.
208
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:34,962
And we even parted
on-on good terms.
209
00:13:34,963 --> 00:13:37,166
[chuckles]
Uh... this is not true.
210
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:39,036
She has a very
different account.
211
00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:42,009
And we have to ask you
to come downtown with us.
212
00:13:43,045 --> 00:13:45,048
A-Am-- am I under arrest?
213
00:13:45,049 --> 00:13:47,186
Marshall, I am not cuffing you
and not making a spectacle,
214
00:13:47,187 --> 00:13:49,424
but you are in custody, yes.
215
00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:51,629
Wh-- What...
216
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:54,501
W-What about my work?
My-my teaching?
217
00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:56,171
My-my-my job?
218
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,908
W-What's gonna happen to me?
219
00:13:57,909 --> 00:14:00,379
I think if the past is
any indication, you'll be fired.
220
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,551
What about my word?
W-What, my...
221
00:14:02,552 --> 00:14:04,387
D-Don't I have a say in t-th...
222
00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:07,093
- I-I'm gonna fight this.
- You will have the chance to.
223
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:09,297
I-I will. This is,
this is just another instance
224
00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:12,904
of a Black man being strung up
on the word of a woman.
225
00:14:12,905 --> 00:14:15,510
Th-- Uh, no, no.
Look, look. Look.
226
00:14:15,511 --> 00:14:17,313
My texts.
227
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,350
The texts. Look. Look.
228
00:14:19,351 --> 00:14:22,256
Listen: "Marshall,
I'm glad we can remain friends,
229
00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:24,528
"you did the right thing,
and you were gracious
230
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:27,133
"and kind in doing it.
231
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:30,072
It makes me love you more."
232
00:14:30,073 --> 00:14:32,109
Does-does that sound
like something
233
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:34,447
y-you'd send to a rapist?
But look, here's-- look:
234
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,652
"Marshall,
I'm free between classes.
235
00:14:36,653 --> 00:14:39,423
Do you want to meet for coffee?"
236
00:14:39,424 --> 00:14:42,062
Does that? Or-or "Marshall,
I need your advice
237
00:14:42,063 --> 00:14:44,300
"on which modern history
professor you like.
238
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,672
- Is Hartley okay?"
- And yet, we have her account
239
00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:48,709
and the D.A. decided
to go ahead.
240
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:51,080
- And I tend to believe women
in these matters.
- [Marshall] Megan.
241
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,151
I am sorry.
242
00:14:53,152 --> 00:14:55,022
Megan...
243
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,291
It's addiction, isn't it?
244
00:14:56,292 --> 00:14:58,161
Addiction? S-Stop. Wait.
245
00:14:58,162 --> 00:15:00,465
Y-You have these-these,
uh, pathologies
246
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,136
that you don't have
the slightest understanding
247
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:04,006
of what you're saying.
248
00:15:04,007 --> 00:15:07,112
T-The, the-- Everyone's
an amateur shrink these days.
249
00:15:07,113 --> 00:15:10,554
You cannot continue to destroy
people's lives in this manner.
250
00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:15,329
Megan, is there
something you can do?
251
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,066
[stammers]
252
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:20,405
How many times have you dined
at our house? Uh...
253
00:15:20,406 --> 00:15:21,575
Meg-Megan.
254
00:15:21,576 --> 00:15:24,380
Marshall, call your lawyer.
255
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,717
[receding]
We're gonna print you
256
00:15:25,718 --> 00:15:27,286
and we're gonna take a picture
257
00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:29,156
and you'll be home by dinner.
258
00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:30,560
♪ ♪
259
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,504
[indistinct radio chatter]
260
00:15:45,456 --> 00:15:48,028
You're being released
on your own recognizance.
261
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,004
I suggest you find
some sort of help.
262
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:54,240
You need it.
263
00:15:56,445 --> 00:15:57,748
[door opens]
264
00:15:59,451 --> 00:16:01,254
[Marshall]
It makes no sense to pretend
265
00:16:01,255 --> 00:16:06,064
to be some ancient stoic
enduring what comes,
266
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:10,406
when all my choices have led me
to this dark wood.
267
00:16:11,308 --> 00:16:14,480
It makes no sense
to try and salvage
268
00:16:14,481 --> 00:16:17,019
the marriage, the career.
269
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:20,793
The stain of my mistakes
cannot be expunged,
270
00:16:20,794 --> 00:16:26,639
like the woman in the play
who said, "Out, damn spot."
271
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:31,749
When a man of my generation,
color, is marked,
272
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:35,088
the expulsion from the world
of the living
273
00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:37,326
is all that is left.
274
00:16:39,297 --> 00:16:41,602
I might be remembered
275
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:44,708
for some small bit of good,
I hope.
276
00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:47,514
I love so many people, so much.
277
00:16:47,515 --> 00:16:50,486
How it hurts to disappoint them.
278
00:16:53,627 --> 00:16:58,769
I suppose this is the last proof
that I am indeed, still,
279
00:16:58,770 --> 00:17:01,107
for a few minutes at least,
280
00:17:01,108 --> 00:17:05,082
still a member
of the human race.
281
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,798
[Marshall]
Am I dead?
282
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,669
[Redd]
Well, let's see.
283
00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,740
[monitor beeping steadily]
284
00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:41,221
No.
285
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,497
Trazodone and Ambien can,
of course, do the trick,
286
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:50,172
but in a man your size,
with a full stomach...
287
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:54,246
And, luckily, you were low
on your prescriptions.
288
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:55,717
I found you.
289
00:17:55,718 --> 00:17:58,656
They pumped your stomach, and...
290
00:17:58,657 --> 00:18:00,860
yeah, here we are.
291
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,100
Was it a cry for help?
292
00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:07,473
Or a real attempt?
293
00:18:09,912 --> 00:18:15,222
Nothing has changed
between us, Marshall.
294
00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:17,627
I know about the arrest.
295
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,704
How?
296
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:25,476
This is not a large city.
297
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,522
Your daughter's here.
I called her.
298
00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:33,224
[grunts]
299
00:18:33,225 --> 00:18:35,495
[weakly]
I don't want to see her.
300
00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:37,867
Oh, what you want
is beside the point.
301
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:40,907
You've made your position clear.
302
00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:43,512
Sometimes I think
it's brave to leave.
303
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:46,819
It's no achievement to stay
if you hate this party.
304
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:50,860
But it's also, it's terribly
cowardly at the same time.
305
00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:54,801
My understanding of philosophy
306
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:59,845
made me accept the nothingness
that is to come.
307
00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:01,949
Which you would have poured
all over your daughter,
308
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:04,654
drenched her in it,
you selfish man.
309
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,192
[monitor beeping steadily]
310
00:19:07,193 --> 00:19:10,265
And now, you've taken away
everyone's choice.
311
00:19:12,838 --> 00:19:15,342
We can only be angry
and grateful
312
00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:18,682
and angry and grateful
until we are not.
313
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:20,285
[Redd sniffling]
314
00:19:24,929 --> 00:19:28,335
I'll give you a few days
to get your things and get out.
315
00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:44,601
I don't have
anything left to say...
316
00:19:46,572 --> 00:19:48,475
...other than...
317
00:19:50,446 --> 00:19:53,318
...I apologize...
318
00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:57,694
...for what's left of my self.
319
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:02,504
The so-called self.
320
00:20:11,021 --> 00:20:14,360
Dad, listen to me.
321
00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:16,364
Just listen.
322
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:19,036
You are the only father
that I have.
323
00:20:19,037 --> 00:20:21,942
But you make it really hard
324
00:20:21,943 --> 00:20:23,846
for me to still want
to know you.
325
00:20:25,382 --> 00:20:27,587
But I-I do.
326
00:20:29,592 --> 00:20:32,531
I don't know
how to turn off loving you.
327
00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:37,507
I don't want to see a world
without you in it.
328
00:20:37,508 --> 00:20:39,878
I have so much life to come.
329
00:20:39,879 --> 00:20:41,748
Like, so much.
330
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:43,318
Children.
331
00:20:43,319 --> 00:20:45,657
Pain, love.
332
00:20:46,626 --> 00:20:48,261
Fear.
333
00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:51,000
A crazy mother.
334
00:20:53,005 --> 00:20:54,039
Please.
335
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,714
Please try to think of a time
336
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,584
that's gonna be better
than this moment.
337
00:20:59,585 --> 00:21:01,889
[sniffles] It's possible.
338
00:21:02,858 --> 00:21:04,828
It's possible. Maybe better.
339
00:21:04,829 --> 00:21:06,030
I...
340
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,567
I don't-- I don't know if...
341
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:09,538
- I don't know if I can.
- [sniffles]
342
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:15,917
Maybe this moment
is the best I can hope for.
343
00:21:15,918 --> 00:21:17,754
Well, then so be it.
344
00:21:18,723 --> 00:21:21,460
That has to be enough.
345
00:21:21,461 --> 00:21:23,533
♪ ♪
346
00:21:28,576 --> 00:21:29,811
[inhales]
347
00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:32,383
I love you so much.
348
00:21:42,136 --> 00:21:43,806
[sighs]
349
00:21:43,807 --> 00:21:45,877
♪ ♪
350
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,123
[phone buzzes]
351
00:22:20,647 --> 00:22:22,517
[sets mug down]
352
00:22:22,518 --> 00:22:24,621
[typing on phone keyboard]
353
00:22:35,142 --> 00:22:36,779
♪ ♪
354
00:22:50,439 --> 00:22:52,476
[engine idling]
355
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,834
What is this, Ed?
356
00:23:04,835 --> 00:23:06,538
Just come with me, Marshall.
357
00:23:06,539 --> 00:23:08,509
I joined a group.
358
00:23:08,510 --> 00:23:10,513
A men's group that helped me.
359
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,584
♪ ♪
360
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,853
[exhales]
361
00:23:43,145 --> 00:23:45,115
What, uh...
362
00:23:45,116 --> 00:23:46,552
what happened to the mullet?
363
00:23:47,587 --> 00:23:49,691
I had to face some hard truths.
364
00:23:49,692 --> 00:23:51,093
I cut it.
365
00:23:51,094 --> 00:23:52,797
All part of...
366
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,168
cleaning up my act.
367
00:23:56,237 --> 00:23:59,009
What kind of group is this, exactly?
368
00:23:59,010 --> 00:24:00,880
Is it religious?
369
00:24:00,881 --> 00:24:02,249
No.
370
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:04,721
Support and brotherhood.
371
00:24:04,722 --> 00:24:07,727
'Cause we all got one thing
in common.
372
00:24:07,728 --> 00:24:09,130
And that is?
373
00:24:15,677 --> 00:24:17,246
Let me ask you a question.
374
00:24:18,215 --> 00:24:19,651
Are you an angry man?
375
00:24:21,589 --> 00:24:23,893
Have I sensed that before?
376
00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,904
My anger...
377
00:24:29,905 --> 00:24:32,977
[chuckles]
...it is my salvation.
378
00:24:36,017 --> 00:24:38,054
♪ ♪
379
00:24:53,853 --> 00:24:56,157
- [engine shuts off]
- [doors open]
380
00:25:06,779 --> 00:25:08,014
[door shuts]
381
00:25:08,015 --> 00:25:08,982
[Smythe via speech tech]
Gentlemen,
382
00:25:08,983 --> 00:25:10,653
tonight is special.
383
00:25:10,654 --> 00:25:11,788
[water dripping]
384
00:25:11,789 --> 00:25:13,926
A new friend is among us.
385
00:25:20,072 --> 00:25:21,842
One who is lost.
386
00:25:21,843 --> 00:25:24,681
It is our duty
to show him the way.
387
00:25:24,682 --> 00:25:28,221
We cannot be afraid
of offending people.
388
00:25:28,222 --> 00:25:30,158
That is the price of honesty.
389
00:25:31,862 --> 00:25:34,233
And tonight we will invite
our new friend
390
00:25:34,234 --> 00:25:36,972
to have an honest conversation.
391
00:25:47,226 --> 00:25:49,062
Hello, Ed.
392
00:25:49,063 --> 00:25:51,868
And hello, Professor.
393
00:25:51,869 --> 00:25:54,808
You get used to the mustiness
of the space.
394
00:25:57,848 --> 00:26:00,620
I am Dr. Milton Smythe.
395
00:26:02,089 --> 00:26:04,193
Ed has spoken often of you.
396
00:26:04,194 --> 00:26:06,363
We've chosen to interview you
397
00:26:06,364 --> 00:26:08,769
so we all can get to know you.
398
00:26:10,740 --> 00:26:12,209
Sit, gentlemen,
399
00:26:12,210 --> 00:26:14,280
so we can complete
the circle of truths.
400
00:26:15,884 --> 00:26:19,056
Welcome to the Mexicali Men's Club.
401
00:26:29,711 --> 00:26:31,948
- [lamp buzzing softly]
- [water dripping]
402
00:26:31,949 --> 00:26:34,219
Professor, the, uh...
403
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:35,890
the new pronouns--
404
00:26:35,891 --> 00:26:37,961
how do you feel about them?
405
00:26:42,002 --> 00:26:43,271
Yes.
406
00:26:43,272 --> 00:26:47,112
Your question
about the new pronouns.
407
00:26:47,881 --> 00:26:51,353
I-I have many students
who are trying
408
00:26:51,354 --> 00:26:55,028
to define and explore
their identities.
409
00:26:55,029 --> 00:26:56,765
Um...
410
00:26:56,766 --> 00:26:58,434
We have discussions,
411
00:26:58,435 --> 00:27:02,977
and I do ask them what pronouns
they'd like to use.
412
00:27:02,978 --> 00:27:04,914
But, you know, I-I-I will admit,
413
00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:07,319
I-I'm getting confused,
414
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,258
trying to keep up
with the variants,
415
00:27:10,259 --> 00:27:13,331
such as xe...
416
00:27:13,332 --> 00:27:16,170
xe-xem...
417
00:27:16,171 --> 00:27:18,107
xyr. I, you know...
418
00:27:18,108 --> 00:27:19,978
I-I-- But I get it, you know...
419
00:27:19,979 --> 00:27:22,917
- [men] Boo. Boo.
- [Eddie] Hey, shut the fuck up.
420
00:27:22,918 --> 00:27:24,854
How 'bout we have some decency?
421
00:27:24,855 --> 00:27:25,923
[door closes]
422
00:27:25,924 --> 00:27:27,158
It is confusing,
423
00:27:27,159 --> 00:27:30,031
but it costs absolutely nothing
424
00:27:30,032 --> 00:27:32,770
to respect those
who don't follow your norms.
425
00:27:32,771 --> 00:27:34,206
So, if you can't
get on board with that,
426
00:27:34,207 --> 00:27:35,877
then just shut it.
427
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:40,485
Now, Marshall, how do you see
428
00:27:40,486 --> 00:27:43,993
the role of men
in the culture, um, shifting?
429
00:27:45,262 --> 00:27:47,499
There's a revolution.
430
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,202
A correction.
431
00:27:49,203 --> 00:27:51,942
And-and some of these
are too drastic. Uh...
432
00:27:51,943 --> 00:27:54,781
Witch hunts.
Men being accused of
433
00:27:54,782 --> 00:27:57,887
and convicted without evidence.
434
00:28:00,927 --> 00:28:02,262
Like you?
435
00:28:08,475 --> 00:28:10,445
Men and boys being marginalized.
436
00:28:10,446 --> 00:28:14,453
And-and now,
men who point them out
437
00:28:14,454 --> 00:28:17,459
are perceived as predatory
438
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:20,465
and-and dangerous.
439
00:28:20,466 --> 00:28:22,202
[chair scrapes floor]
440
00:28:24,941 --> 00:28:27,980
As a result
of all these accusations,
441
00:28:27,981 --> 00:28:31,487
we're becoming
the defensive gender.
442
00:28:31,488 --> 00:28:35,194
Second-guessing our nature
to the degree that is cancerous,
443
00:28:35,195 --> 00:28:39,838
as though strong men
are frightening.
444
00:28:41,374 --> 00:28:43,177
But I think...
445
00:28:44,548 --> 00:28:48,855
I think weak men
are much more dangerous.
446
00:28:48,856 --> 00:28:52,395
- Yes. Yes.
- [cheering and applause]
447
00:28:52,396 --> 00:28:55,468
Yes. Yes.
448
00:28:59,377 --> 00:29:01,848
- [applause stops]
- Strength is everything.
449
00:29:01,849 --> 00:29:03,986
I mean, I remember
working at that mall
450
00:29:03,987 --> 00:29:06,223
wearing that damn
Cinnabon outfit
451
00:29:06,224 --> 00:29:07,526
all up and down those halls.
452
00:29:07,527 --> 00:29:09,396
I couldn't even
take it off on my break.
453
00:29:09,397 --> 00:29:12,135
You guys have no idea.
My lowest moment,
454
00:29:12,136 --> 00:29:13,972
even though
I was the night manager,
455
00:29:13,973 --> 00:29:15,909
was when I would walk by women
456
00:29:15,910 --> 00:29:18,882
and they would laugh in my face,
like I was nothing.
457
00:29:22,489 --> 00:29:24,226
I was just trying
to make a living.
458
00:29:25,429 --> 00:29:26,965
That crushed me.
459
00:29:27,734 --> 00:29:31,908
I had to learn not to just
be angry, you know?
460
00:29:31,909 --> 00:29:35,014
Because the stronger path--
461
00:29:35,015 --> 00:29:37,386
and I learned this
with the men in this room--
462
00:29:39,490 --> 00:29:42,029
...was to find
success and rigor.
463
00:29:44,033 --> 00:29:45,903
And that is hard.
464
00:29:45,904 --> 00:29:47,507
It is.
465
00:29:48,909 --> 00:29:50,144
It is.
466
00:29:50,145 --> 00:29:52,583
[Eddie]
Marshall, you were recently
467
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,486
"Me Too'd" and cancelled,
468
00:29:54,487 --> 00:29:56,591
and-and I believe,
469
00:29:56,592 --> 00:29:59,630
and I know the founders
of this group believe,
470
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,100
[door closes]
471
00:30:01,101 --> 00:30:03,270
...that you can't just
erase people
472
00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:05,208
who make mistakes.
473
00:30:05,209 --> 00:30:06,945
So how do we move forward?
474
00:30:06,946 --> 00:30:08,582
I am...
475
00:30:09,918 --> 00:30:12,155
...frankly struggling with this.
476
00:30:14,059 --> 00:30:17,465
I am angry that
477
00:30:17,466 --> 00:30:20,371
a consensual affair
478
00:30:20,372 --> 00:30:24,179
between adults
was used to hurt me.
479
00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:26,316
And I'm...
480
00:30:26,317 --> 00:30:28,320
I'm now sullied,
481
00:30:28,321 --> 00:30:30,659
- and my name is...
- Has been destroyed,
482
00:30:30,660 --> 00:30:33,330
and that sucks.
483
00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:37,072
Damaged, at the very least.
484
00:30:37,073 --> 00:30:40,244
But it's now up to me
to reclaim it somehow
485
00:30:40,245 --> 00:30:43,952
and not shy away from the fight
486
00:30:43,953 --> 00:30:45,455
to seek truth
487
00:30:45,456 --> 00:30:49,029
and insist on what is right.
488
00:30:50,232 --> 00:30:51,601
We're folding.
489
00:30:51,602 --> 00:30:54,339
Did you know that men
490
00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:58,214
die of suicide in far greater
numbers than women?
491
00:30:58,215 --> 00:31:00,251
[men murmuring]
492
00:31:01,454 --> 00:31:04,359
And I'm going to admit right now
493
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,065
that I recently
attempted suicide.
494
00:31:08,669 --> 00:31:10,472
W-W-Where does it end?
495
00:31:11,575 --> 00:31:13,545
Perhaps the issue is that
496
00:31:13,546 --> 00:31:16,651
we need to return to a...
497
00:31:16,652 --> 00:31:20,391
a much more traditional
model for society.
498
00:31:20,392 --> 00:31:22,462
[cheering and applause]
499
00:31:29,678 --> 00:31:31,380
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
500
00:31:31,381 --> 00:31:34,486
Uh, yes, sir,
you have something to add?
501
00:31:35,488 --> 00:31:38,995
[Smythe via speech tech]
A return to individual
responsibility,
502
00:31:38,996 --> 00:31:40,999
the importance of hierarchy
503
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,672
and order,
504
00:31:43,673 --> 00:31:45,241
correct?
505
00:31:46,678 --> 00:31:48,515
Yes.
506
00:31:48,516 --> 00:31:52,656
Yes, I believe that a way
to return to those principles
507
00:31:52,657 --> 00:31:55,128
is through consequences.
508
00:31:58,434 --> 00:32:01,440
Many of the men
in this room have said...
509
00:32:03,311 --> 00:32:07,151
...given everything
that's going on around us,
510
00:32:07,152 --> 00:32:10,491
the crime, the lawlessness,
511
00:32:10,492 --> 00:32:13,430
- the divisive culture...
- Mm.
512
00:32:13,431 --> 00:32:15,736
...that it feels like
we're living
513
00:32:15,737 --> 00:32:18,542
- in a goddamn horror movie.
- [men agreeing]
514
00:32:18,543 --> 00:32:21,013
- Am I right?
- [men] Yeah.
515
00:32:21,014 --> 00:32:22,382
Have you ever felt that?
516
00:32:24,053 --> 00:32:27,192
Perhaps it is time
to find the boogeyman
517
00:32:27,193 --> 00:32:29,296
and slaughter it,
518
00:32:29,297 --> 00:32:32,703
so that it never again
rises out of the lake
519
00:32:32,704 --> 00:32:34,707
or out of the fog
520
00:32:34,708 --> 00:32:39,416
or never again
tries to take what is ours.
521
00:32:43,224 --> 00:32:45,495
I think I speak for all of us...
522
00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:51,641
Welcome to the
Mexicali Men's Club, Professor.
523
00:32:51,642 --> 00:32:54,045
- [cheering and applause]
- [Eddie] We would love
for you to join us
524
00:32:54,046 --> 00:32:56,585
as we seek a way out
of this nightmare.
525
00:32:59,089 --> 00:33:01,293
Please stand
and be acknowledged.
526
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,686
[cheering and applause continue]
527
00:33:43,512 --> 00:33:44,680
Maybe she heard about my dad
528
00:33:44,681 --> 00:33:46,350
and decided to do it
to herself, too.
529
00:33:46,351 --> 00:33:47,786
But she called me
on her way here.
530
00:33:47,787 --> 00:33:49,389
She checked herself in.
She said she was scared.
531
00:33:49,390 --> 00:33:50,659
Yes, that's what
Admissions said.
532
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:52,563
Yeah, well, I tried to see her,
533
00:33:52,564 --> 00:33:54,700
but she doesn't want to see me
or anyone. Just you.
534
00:33:54,701 --> 00:33:56,270
Merritt, how are you?
535
00:33:56,271 --> 00:33:58,274
Both parents in extreme crisis--
536
00:33:58,275 --> 00:33:59,677
this is a lot to handle.
537
00:33:59,678 --> 00:34:02,516
Dr. Witticomb, I'm okay.
538
00:34:02,517 --> 00:34:04,654
I just need you to figure out
what's happening to her.
539
00:34:04,655 --> 00:34:06,090
Please.
540
00:34:18,849 --> 00:34:20,819
I think I'm dead.
541
00:34:22,322 --> 00:34:23,759
Really dead.
542
00:34:25,195 --> 00:34:26,665
[Witticomb]
Literally dead?
543
00:34:28,334 --> 00:34:30,639
You're the only person I trust
to confirm it.
544
00:34:32,175 --> 00:34:34,446
The nurses let me see
my blood pressure
545
00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:37,251
and my pulse, but...
I didn't believe it.
546
00:34:37,252 --> 00:34:39,089
What happened, Lois?
547
00:34:39,858 --> 00:34:42,630
It all came together, a shock.
548
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:46,771
The world is not real.
549
00:34:48,776 --> 00:34:50,411
And I've crossed over.
550
00:34:54,621 --> 00:34:56,456
I thought about
551
00:34:56,457 --> 00:34:59,329
cutting my carotid
with a pair of poultry shears.
552
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:01,333
But you didn't.
553
00:35:01,334 --> 00:35:03,337
So, that's good.
554
00:35:03,338 --> 00:35:04,607
What started it?
555
00:35:04,608 --> 00:35:07,478
I realized
I never really woke up
556
00:35:07,479 --> 00:35:10,451
from that coma, did I?
557
00:35:11,588 --> 00:35:15,328
I am in some otherworld.
558
00:35:17,199 --> 00:35:18,568
The otherworld.
559
00:35:19,336 --> 00:35:21,373
And you think
I'm not real either?
560
00:35:21,374 --> 00:35:23,477
I've accompanied you here?
561
00:35:23,478 --> 00:35:25,148
Maybe to take you back?
562
00:35:26,350 --> 00:35:28,621
You are very much alive.
Listen to me.
563
00:35:28,622 --> 00:35:30,625
There's a neuropsychiatric
condition,
564
00:35:30,626 --> 00:35:32,395
Cotard's syndrome,
565
00:35:32,396 --> 00:35:35,769
and what it is, is you just
simply think you're dead,
566
00:35:35,770 --> 00:35:37,639
or your organs are putrefying,
567
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,643
or the world is an illusion,
568
00:35:39,644 --> 00:35:41,881
but mostly you're dead.
569
00:35:43,652 --> 00:35:46,858
It is a reaction to
going through too much to bear.
570
00:35:49,363 --> 00:35:51,233
Now, s-stay with me.
571
00:35:51,234 --> 00:35:52,469
What triggered it?
572
00:35:53,639 --> 00:35:55,208
First thing?
573
00:35:58,414 --> 00:36:01,621
It was... [chuckles]
I couldn't believe it.
574
00:36:01,622 --> 00:36:05,261
Marshall asked me to be a part
of some sort of ménage
575
00:36:05,262 --> 00:36:07,833
with him and his girlfriend.
576
00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:09,603
Utterly surreal.
577
00:36:09,604 --> 00:36:13,210
- Mm.
- I'm very fluid.
578
00:36:13,979 --> 00:36:16,617
But it's the new paradigm.
579
00:36:16,618 --> 00:36:18,688
The man I knew
would have never done that,
580
00:36:18,689 --> 00:36:19,924
nor would Redd.
581
00:36:19,925 --> 00:36:21,561
It's the otherworld.
582
00:36:21,562 --> 00:36:23,497
A kind of hell, made up
583
00:36:23,498 --> 00:36:26,904
of sick jokes so elaborate...
[scoffs]
584
00:36:26,905 --> 00:36:29,543
...nothing living
could construct them.
585
00:36:29,544 --> 00:36:32,816
And what else? What else
made you think you were dead?
586
00:36:32,817 --> 00:36:34,954
My doctor.
587
00:36:34,955 --> 00:36:37,258
Dr. Charles Mayhew.
588
00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:40,231
[scoffs]
589
00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:44,774
He was having orgies in my room.
590
00:36:44,775 --> 00:36:46,544
[woman moaning]
591
00:36:46,545 --> 00:36:48,815
[Lois]
I could hear it. I even
592
00:36:48,816 --> 00:36:50,451
saw some of it
593
00:36:50,452 --> 00:36:51,721
through the curtains
around my bed.
594
00:36:51,722 --> 00:36:53,792
Like flashes of a nightmare.
595
00:36:53,793 --> 00:36:57,398
My doctor,
a supposed man of virtue,
596
00:36:57,399 --> 00:36:59,870
was also an agent of chaos.
597
00:36:59,871 --> 00:37:02,676
So I confronted him.
598
00:37:02,677 --> 00:37:04,580
Having sex parties?
599
00:37:05,381 --> 00:37:07,753
These are exactly the kinds
of tricks that our mind
600
00:37:07,754 --> 00:37:09,890
plays on us when we emerge
from these coma states.
601
00:37:09,891 --> 00:37:13,330
There are many
different hallucinatory
602
00:37:13,331 --> 00:37:14,767
electrical storms
that can occur.
603
00:37:14,768 --> 00:37:16,436
I mean, certainly
you don't actually believe
604
00:37:16,437 --> 00:37:18,842
that I'm having orgies in here?
605
00:37:18,843 --> 00:37:21,714
Yes, I fucking do.
606
00:37:21,715 --> 00:37:23,985
I do believe it. Mm-hmm.
607
00:37:23,986 --> 00:37:25,722
You know why?
608
00:37:25,723 --> 00:37:28,995
Because you are not
who or what you say you are.
609
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:30,498
It's some sort of
610
00:37:30,499 --> 00:37:32,468
- demonic rite--
- I really wish
611
00:37:32,469 --> 00:37:33,771
that you understood
612
00:37:33,772 --> 00:37:35,341
how even the suggestion
of impropriety
613
00:37:35,342 --> 00:37:36,443
would not be good for me
in this day and age,
614
00:37:36,444 --> 00:37:37,913
even if nobody believed you,
615
00:37:37,914 --> 00:37:40,017
which, for the record,
they won't. Nobody will.
616
00:37:40,018 --> 00:37:43,457
They simply won't.
I fucking saved your life.
617
00:37:47,533 --> 00:37:49,570
I know what I heard.
618
00:37:50,673 --> 00:37:52,308
I heard it.
619
00:37:52,309 --> 00:37:54,613
Mm. I also recall,
620
00:37:54,614 --> 00:37:56,316
in my coma state,
621
00:37:56,317 --> 00:37:59,857
a story about a young girl
who got impregnated
622
00:37:59,858 --> 00:38:01,727
against her will
623
00:38:01,728 --> 00:38:04,533
while she was unconscious.
624
00:38:04,534 --> 00:38:05,902
You did that, didn't you?
625
00:38:05,903 --> 00:38:07,873
- Uh... So, fuck you.
- You did it.
626
00:38:07,874 --> 00:38:10,377
Uh, and I never did
any of those vile things.
627
00:38:10,378 --> 00:38:13,585
In fact, I'm the one
who saved your life. Um...
628
00:38:15,421 --> 00:38:17,760
God, I feel so fucking sorry
for your husband.
629
00:38:18,829 --> 00:38:20,565
You're an impossible woman.
630
00:38:20,566 --> 00:38:22,401
You're insufferable,
and you're so
631
00:38:22,402 --> 00:38:25,876
judgmental of him and me
and, I'm assuming, all men.
632
00:38:25,877 --> 00:38:28,882
You are corrosive
to your fucking core, Lois.
633
00:38:29,651 --> 00:38:33,658
Multiple times, your husband
came up to me and...
634
00:38:33,659 --> 00:38:35,060
he said something
to the effect of,
635
00:38:35,061 --> 00:38:36,797
"Hey, you know,
just between you and me,
636
00:38:36,798 --> 00:38:39,102
"couldn't you just
accidentally bump the switch?
637
00:38:39,103 --> 00:38:40,805
"Turn off the machine
that's keeping her alive
638
00:38:40,806 --> 00:38:42,576
and send the old vegetable
on up to heaven?"
639
00:38:42,577 --> 00:38:44,112
And I always thought that
the guy was fucking with me,
640
00:38:44,113 --> 00:38:46,550
but now I realize
that he was so insistent
641
00:38:46,551 --> 00:38:48,387
on wanting you to fucking die
642
00:38:48,388 --> 00:38:51,126
because you are such
a massive fucking bitch.
643
00:38:51,127 --> 00:38:54,432
I see now,
very clearly, that you
644
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:56,403
would not have
ascended into heaven,
645
00:38:56,404 --> 00:38:58,407
but rather descended into hell.
646
00:38:58,408 --> 00:39:02,048
Because it is a place that you
create for yourself, every day
647
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:04,787
and every hour
with your arrogance
648
00:39:04,788 --> 00:39:07,425
and your confident
false superiority.
649
00:39:07,426 --> 00:39:10,532
It is a hell of your own making
in which you burn yourself
650
00:39:10,533 --> 00:39:13,070
and everyone else
651
00:39:13,071 --> 00:39:14,974
who you come into contact with.
652
00:39:14,975 --> 00:39:18,080
This is not the real world.
653
00:39:18,081 --> 00:39:19,850
This is the otherworld,
654
00:39:19,851 --> 00:39:22,790
and I... I am dead.
655
00:39:24,026 --> 00:39:25,696
And he's right.
656
00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:28,635
[sniffles]
657
00:39:28,636 --> 00:39:30,437
I...
658
00:39:30,438 --> 00:39:33,377
created this hell
I am in somehow.
659
00:39:34,647 --> 00:39:36,483
[Witticomb]
Lois, I promise you, this is
660
00:39:36,484 --> 00:39:39,456
temporary. Please, trust me.
661
00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:42,461
Tell me,
662
00:39:42,462 --> 00:39:45,434
what else convinced you
you were in the otherworld?
663
00:39:46,538 --> 00:39:49,075
The only reason I can confess...
664
00:39:50,913 --> 00:39:52,916
...is 'cause I'm dead.
665
00:39:52,917 --> 00:39:54,720
I killed someone.
666
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,534
A terrible man
beating women. Megan,
667
00:40:01,535 --> 00:40:04,506
the one who has my job, her man.
668
00:40:04,507 --> 00:40:06,611
Cold blood.
669
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,015
An execution, really.
670
00:40:09,016 --> 00:40:10,117
- [gunshot]
- [body thuds]
671
00:40:11,186 --> 00:40:13,123
[Witticomb]
Where's the body, Lois?
672
00:40:13,124 --> 00:40:15,160
Did you... dispose of it?
673
00:40:15,161 --> 00:40:16,931
[Lois]
See? S-S-S-See, this is
what I'm saying.
674
00:40:16,932 --> 00:40:19,068
This is where it gets strange
675
00:40:19,069 --> 00:40:21,172
and odd, okay? I left the scene.
676
00:40:21,173 --> 00:40:22,642
I told Megan
I would take care of it
677
00:40:22,643 --> 00:40:24,780
'cause I needed
to get my head together.
678
00:40:24,781 --> 00:40:26,917
- I needed to get supplies
and stuff, you know?
- Supplies?
679
00:40:26,918 --> 00:40:30,057
Y-Yes. Um, shovel,
trash bag, lime.
680
00:40:30,058 --> 00:40:31,927
I wasn't in my right mind.
681
00:40:31,928 --> 00:40:34,065
I was so stunned
I lost track of time.
682
00:40:34,066 --> 00:40:36,904
I don't even know how long
I had been driving.
683
00:40:36,905 --> 00:40:39,042
And then I got my shit together,
684
00:40:39,043 --> 00:40:40,812
and I said, "No. No, no, no.
685
00:40:40,813 --> 00:40:42,883
"You are not going
to cover this up because
686
00:40:42,884 --> 00:40:44,920
this was self-defense."
687
00:40:44,921 --> 00:40:46,557
This was a bad man,
688
00:40:46,558 --> 00:40:48,661
another bad man.
689
00:40:48,662 --> 00:40:50,497
I said,
"Let me get my shit together
690
00:40:50,498 --> 00:40:52,669
and go back and face
what I have done."
691
00:40:52,670 --> 00:40:53,905
And?
692
00:40:56,978 --> 00:40:59,550
Megan was gone.
The body was gone.
693
00:40:59,551 --> 00:41:01,954
The entire room
was scrubbed clean.
694
00:41:01,955 --> 00:41:03,090
No body, no crime.
695
00:41:03,091 --> 00:41:04,225
And I'm thinking,
696
00:41:04,226 --> 00:41:05,562
"The cleaners have been here,
697
00:41:05,563 --> 00:41:07,666
and they covered all this up."
698
00:41:07,667 --> 00:41:09,703
- The cleaners?
- People
699
00:41:09,704 --> 00:41:12,208
who specialize
in the art of the cover-up.
700
00:41:12,209 --> 00:41:13,845
Erasing traces of blood,
701
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,515
viscera, brain smear,
702
00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:17,084
- what have you.
- [Witticomb] Such as?
703
00:41:17,085 --> 00:41:18,654
[Lois]
The best one I know
in the vicinity
704
00:41:18,655 --> 00:41:19,857
is Glorious McKall.
705
00:41:19,858 --> 00:41:22,094
I mean, she's...
she was an acquaintance.
706
00:41:22,095 --> 00:41:24,165
So what did you do?
707
00:41:26,704 --> 00:41:28,708
I went silent.
708
00:41:28,709 --> 00:41:30,845
I went deep.
709
00:41:30,846 --> 00:41:32,949
I followed Megan in my car.
710
00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:34,252
And guess what I found?
711
00:41:34,253 --> 00:41:35,956
- [Witticomb] Hmm?
- Proof.
712
00:41:42,603 --> 00:41:45,041
♪ ♪
713
00:41:46,611 --> 00:41:48,614
And I confronted her ass.
714
00:41:48,615 --> 00:41:50,685
What are you looking at?
715
00:41:52,623 --> 00:41:54,626
I got you, you sneaky bitch.
716
00:41:54,627 --> 00:41:56,697
- Oh, yes.
- Lois?
717
00:41:56,698 --> 00:41:57,833
What's going on? You seem--
718
00:41:57,834 --> 00:41:59,135
Unhinged?
719
00:41:59,136 --> 00:42:01,006
Ding, ding, ding.
720
00:42:06,049 --> 00:42:07,986
I killed him
721
00:42:07,987 --> 00:42:09,923
to help you out.
722
00:42:09,924 --> 00:42:12,194
And then you move the body,
you clean up my mess,
723
00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:14,265
and you don't say anything?
724
00:42:16,638 --> 00:42:18,608
Glorious McKall would do that.
725
00:42:18,609 --> 00:42:20,879
She would take her victims
and grind them up
726
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:22,047
and feed them to her hogs.
727
00:42:22,048 --> 00:42:23,851
Is that what you had her do?
728
00:42:23,852 --> 00:42:24,920
Lois...
729
00:42:24,921 --> 00:42:26,223
sit down.
730
00:42:28,628 --> 00:42:30,765
I don't know
what you're talking about.
731
00:42:30,766 --> 00:42:33,671
- I saw you with her.
- With who?
732
00:42:33,672 --> 00:42:35,040
Glorious McKall.
733
00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:36,744
I saw you talking to her.
734
00:42:36,745 --> 00:42:38,280
Getting her to clean up my mess.
735
00:42:38,281 --> 00:42:40,952
What I want to know is
why you didn't say anything.
736
00:42:40,953 --> 00:42:42,188
- Why?
- Lois...
737
00:42:42,189 --> 00:42:43,925
I did meet with Glorious
738
00:42:43,926 --> 00:42:45,327
to help her.
739
00:42:45,328 --> 00:42:47,331
A member of her crew was
having a fentanyl moment,
740
00:42:47,332 --> 00:42:48,801
she was very emotional about it.
741
00:42:48,802 --> 00:42:50,304
This man was like her son.
742
00:42:50,305 --> 00:42:52,141
I've known her for several
cases, so I met with her.
743
00:42:52,142 --> 00:42:53,644
I offered resources.
744
00:42:53,645 --> 00:42:54,913
That's what you saw.
745
00:42:54,914 --> 00:42:56,349
Where's the body?
746
00:42:56,350 --> 00:42:57,919
Where's your man?
747
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,188
My man?
748
00:42:59,189 --> 00:43:00,190
Justin.
749
00:43:00,191 --> 00:43:02,194
I haven't seen him in weeks.
750
00:43:02,195 --> 00:43:04,098
I don't know.
751
00:43:04,099 --> 00:43:05,969
Lois, listen to me.
752
00:43:05,970 --> 00:43:08,140
You're messed up.
753
00:43:09,376 --> 00:43:11,046
You need help.
754
00:43:11,981 --> 00:43:13,350
Let me help you.
755
00:43:15,221 --> 00:43:17,792
[Lois]
She said I needed sleep.
756
00:43:17,793 --> 00:43:19,295
Care.
757
00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:23,638
As if I could
accept that anymore.
758
00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:25,942
[laughs]
759
00:43:25,943 --> 00:43:27,946
In that moment...
760
00:43:27,947 --> 00:43:30,083
the chaos and the madness,
761
00:43:30,084 --> 00:43:32,054
it all flashed together,
762
00:43:32,055 --> 00:43:34,092
and I realized...
763
00:43:37,098 --> 00:43:39,235
...I have crossed over.
764
00:43:39,236 --> 00:43:41,306
I-- I'm in the place...
765
00:43:43,377 --> 00:43:47,117
...that you go to
in the afterlife,
766
00:43:47,118 --> 00:43:50,758
and I'm being forced
to live in my sorrow,
767
00:43:50,759 --> 00:43:53,296
my misdeeds...
768
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,867
and my wreckage.
769
00:43:55,902 --> 00:43:57,404
- [taps on table]
- This.
770
00:43:57,405 --> 00:44:00,077
This is...
771
00:44:00,078 --> 00:44:02,849
my hell I am forced to live in.
772
00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:05,254
And you...
773
00:44:05,255 --> 00:44:07,859
you are just a clever demon,
774
00:44:07,860 --> 00:44:10,865
who's sent to torture me
with comfort.
775
00:44:10,866 --> 00:44:13,771
Lois, that's not true.
776
00:44:13,772 --> 00:44:16,276
I care about you,
your well-being.
777
00:44:16,277 --> 00:44:18,982
And I think you know that
to be true.
778
00:44:33,043 --> 00:44:35,180
And then there's
the final reason
779
00:44:35,181 --> 00:44:38,186
that I have
a hard time accepting
780
00:44:38,187 --> 00:44:41,159
that I'm back in any kind
of literal reality.
781
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,731
It's the last piece
782
00:44:43,732 --> 00:44:45,735
of the jigsaw puzzle.
783
00:44:45,736 --> 00:44:48,173
[Witticomb]
The piece right in the center,
784
00:44:48,174 --> 00:44:49,910
connected to everything else?
785
00:44:49,911 --> 00:44:51,212
[Merritt]
That's the middle piece.
786
00:44:51,213 --> 00:44:52,782
Goes in the center.
787
00:44:52,783 --> 00:44:54,152
It connects everything.
788
00:44:55,956 --> 00:44:57,926
You don't miss a detail, do you?
789
00:44:58,962 --> 00:45:01,099
There was a quintuple homicide,
790
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:02,936
all under one roof.
791
00:45:02,937 --> 00:45:05,040
A whole family.
792
00:45:05,041 --> 00:45:07,211
The mother, the father,
793
00:45:07,212 --> 00:45:09,215
the baby,
794
00:45:09,216 --> 00:45:11,052
the damn pot on stove.
795
00:45:12,255 --> 00:45:15,460
Just like my dream, it happened.
796
00:45:15,461 --> 00:45:17,097
Where did it happen?
Was it local?
797
00:45:17,098 --> 00:45:19,201
I didn't read about it
in the news or online.
798
00:45:19,202 --> 00:45:20,838
Media blackout.
799
00:45:20,839 --> 00:45:22,207
Procedure.
800
00:45:22,208 --> 00:45:23,443
Lois, what are you getting at?
801
00:45:26,283 --> 00:45:28,821
A copycat killer,
802
00:45:28,822 --> 00:45:30,958
who copied my dreams.
803
00:45:30,959 --> 00:45:33,363
And the only person
804
00:45:33,364 --> 00:45:35,467
who could have done that...
805
00:45:37,005 --> 00:45:38,875
...has access to my files.
806
00:45:39,677 --> 00:45:41,914
You know what the fuck
I'm getting at.
807
00:45:46,958 --> 00:45:49,261
[chuckles softly]
808
00:45:49,262 --> 00:45:52,401
Lois, you are a singular
809
00:45:52,402 --> 00:45:54,005
and unique case.
810
00:45:54,006 --> 00:45:55,508
The interviews we did
following your emergence
811
00:45:55,509 --> 00:45:57,812
from the coma state,
these recordings,
812
00:45:57,813 --> 00:45:59,281
they are
immensely valuable resources
813
00:45:59,282 --> 00:46:01,219
to those in neuroscience,
814
00:46:01,220 --> 00:46:02,889
neurocognition, philosophy.
815
00:46:02,890 --> 00:46:04,392
I told you this when we began.
816
00:46:04,393 --> 00:46:07,532
You signed, your entire family
signed waivers,
817
00:46:07,533 --> 00:46:11,339
giving us permission to record
and document this process
818
00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:15,080
and share them internally for
scientific research purposes.
819
00:46:15,081 --> 00:46:17,852
How many people,
820
00:46:17,853 --> 00:46:19,488
Doctor,
821
00:46:19,489 --> 00:46:21,827
have access to my file?
822
00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:24,900
- Who?
- Hundreds.
823
00:46:24,901 --> 00:46:26,503
- How many people?
- Your daughter,
824
00:46:26,504 --> 00:46:28,139
for one, a medical professional
825
00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:30,177
with access
to the medi-platform.
826
00:46:30,178 --> 00:46:32,849
Anybody who has access to your
computer or your passwords.
827
00:46:32,850 --> 00:46:34,886
Your husband could be a suspect.
828
00:46:34,887 --> 00:46:36,890
We could write
an exhaustive list, but
829
00:46:36,891 --> 00:46:39,896
there's another,
more likely suspect, no?
830
00:46:39,897 --> 00:46:42,167
Someone...
831
00:46:42,168 --> 00:46:44,238
somebody who knows
these grotesqueries
832
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,242
better than anyone.
833
00:46:46,243 --> 00:46:48,080
You.
834
00:46:49,884 --> 00:46:52,856
You just said moments ago
that you murdered a man
835
00:46:52,857 --> 00:46:54,893
"in cold blood,
execution style."
836
00:46:54,894 --> 00:46:56,563
We are talking about a person
837
00:46:56,564 --> 00:46:58,466
that killed a baby.
838
00:46:58,467 --> 00:47:00,538
You think I'm capable of that?
839
00:47:00,539 --> 00:47:02,341
Well, let's examine this
like a detective:
840
00:47:02,342 --> 00:47:05,213
rationally,
scientifically, logically.
841
00:47:05,214 --> 00:47:08,019
You recount losing time,
842
00:47:08,020 --> 00:47:11,492
disassociating,
seeing things that aren't there.
843
00:47:11,493 --> 00:47:14,198
You spent years denying
844
00:47:14,199 --> 00:47:16,068
how sick your job made you.
845
00:47:16,069 --> 00:47:17,438
I've seen your cases.
846
00:47:17,439 --> 00:47:19,910
A woman in a world
of crime and killers
847
00:47:19,911 --> 00:47:23,183
trying, almost by herself,
to manifest justice?
848
00:47:23,184 --> 00:47:26,422
All alone?
849
00:47:26,423 --> 00:47:29,328
Is not that the motive
of Grotesquerie?
850
00:47:29,329 --> 00:47:32,367
Is he not a machination
of your own mind?
851
00:47:32,368 --> 00:47:33,938
Didn't you murder that--
852
00:47:33,939 --> 00:47:36,042
Stop.
853
00:47:39,950 --> 00:47:41,587
I am still in it.
854
00:47:43,357 --> 00:47:45,929
I am still in a coma.
855
00:47:47,131 --> 00:47:50,003
Stuck in an endless circle.
856
00:47:52,241 --> 00:47:54,111
There is established wisdom
in my field.
857
00:47:54,112 --> 00:47:57,017
Do not tell a delusional person
they are living in a delusion.
858
00:47:58,153 --> 00:48:00,157
But I'm gonna
level with you, Lois.
859
00:48:01,961 --> 00:48:03,964
I don't think
you murdered that family.
860
00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:05,668
I don't think there was
a quintuple murder.
861
00:48:05,669 --> 00:48:06,670
You are awake.
862
00:48:06,671 --> 00:48:08,473
The world is real.
863
00:48:08,474 --> 00:48:10,511
But you are hearing and seeing
things that are not--
864
00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:12,982
If it's all in my head,
865
00:48:12,983 --> 00:48:15,387
why all the religious imagery?
866
00:48:15,388 --> 00:48:17,992
Because you convinced yourself
you were the last good person
867
00:48:17,993 --> 00:48:20,397
in the world: a cross between
a saint, a crusader,
868
00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:22,501
a holy warrior, a prophet.
869
00:48:22,502 --> 00:48:25,006
When all you are,
all you were,
870
00:48:25,007 --> 00:48:28,379
in reality,
is a small-town detective
871
00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:31,386
in a very, very dark time.
872
00:48:35,461 --> 00:48:37,130
[clicks tongue]
873
00:48:37,131 --> 00:48:39,202
I'm gonna go to my room now.
874
00:48:40,539 --> 00:48:41,607
Thank you.
875
00:48:55,635 --> 00:48:57,037
[keys jangling]
876
00:48:57,038 --> 00:48:58,641
[creaking]
877
00:49:02,081 --> 00:49:04,118
♪ ♪
878
00:49:20,785 --> 00:49:23,023
♪ ♪
879
00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:30,270
[locks buzzing]
880
00:49:38,655 --> 00:49:40,558
[keys jangling]
881
00:49:42,629 --> 00:49:44,733
[key turning in lock]
882
00:49:44,734 --> 00:49:46,436
[creaking]
883
00:50:03,303 --> 00:50:05,440
[Megan crying]
884
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:16,362
[sniffles]
885
00:50:16,363 --> 00:50:18,433
[sobbing loudly]
886
00:50:30,290 --> 00:50:32,795
Again, I need to apologize.
887
00:50:32,796 --> 00:50:35,668
For falling apart back there
where you were getting care.
888
00:50:35,669 --> 00:50:38,106
And I hate myself for coming
to you and asking for help
889
00:50:38,107 --> 00:50:39,308
when you're clearly
in the middle
890
00:50:39,309 --> 00:50:40,745
of a mental health crisis.
891
00:50:42,114 --> 00:50:44,586
Then why did you?
892
00:50:47,425 --> 00:50:49,596
When they called me
to this crime scene...
893
00:50:49,597 --> 00:50:51,198
[swallows loudly]
894
00:50:51,199 --> 00:50:53,269
Sorry, it's a lot.
It's-it's worse for me,
895
00:50:53,270 --> 00:50:54,739
even than
the recent family murder
896
00:50:54,740 --> 00:50:56,510
with remains in a boiling pot.
897
00:50:56,511 --> 00:50:58,514
Worse how?
898
00:50:58,515 --> 00:51:00,384
- It's--
- I-I've been here before.
899
00:51:01,587 --> 00:51:02,755
It's bigger.
900
00:51:02,756 --> 00:51:05,427
It's... more calculated.
901
00:51:05,428 --> 00:51:07,164
It's immense...
902
00:51:07,165 --> 00:51:08,834
in its scope.
Beyond me, I think.
903
00:51:08,835 --> 00:51:11,573
And because I know some
of these people slaughtered.
904
00:51:13,845 --> 00:51:15,480
Lois...
905
00:51:16,449 --> 00:51:17,885
...you-you-y...
906
00:51:17,886 --> 00:51:19,488
you know some of them, too.
907
00:51:23,865 --> 00:51:25,535
I'm done.
908
00:51:27,338 --> 00:51:29,441
- I'm done.
- Lois. Lois.
909
00:51:29,442 --> 00:51:31,580
Please. We need you.
910
00:51:31,581 --> 00:51:33,316
I need you.
911
00:51:33,317 --> 00:51:35,688
- None of this is real anyway.
- Lois, it is real.
912
00:51:35,689 --> 00:51:36,823
[whispering]
It is real.
913
00:51:36,824 --> 00:51:38,326
I promise.
914
00:51:38,327 --> 00:51:41,533
What's here... is... is evil.
915
00:51:41,534 --> 00:51:44,138
Do I believe in the devil?
No, I do not.
916
00:51:44,139 --> 00:51:46,442
What I believe is here today,
these...
917
00:51:46,443 --> 00:51:49,314
these astounding murders
by Grotesquerie,
918
00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:51,687
have been created by someone
who understands
919
00:51:51,688 --> 00:51:53,524
that fear
920
00:51:53,525 --> 00:51:55,561
is what
the devils who walk amongst us,
921
00:51:55,562 --> 00:51:58,867
the mortal devils we all know,
created
922
00:51:58,868 --> 00:52:01,139
so we could stay in line.
923
00:52:03,578 --> 00:52:05,581
You are not dead.
924
00:52:06,784 --> 00:52:08,721
You are not dead.
925
00:52:08,722 --> 00:52:10,558
You, here, right now--
926
00:52:10,559 --> 00:52:13,798
promise you, I promise,
I promise, this is real.
927
00:52:15,668 --> 00:52:17,672
[quietly]
You did shoot my boyfriend.
928
00:52:17,673 --> 00:52:20,845
I did call Glorious McCall
to get rid of the body.
929
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:22,682
That happened.
930
00:52:22,683 --> 00:52:24,485
Sorry. I'm sorry.
931
00:52:24,486 --> 00:52:26,355
I'm sorry.
932
00:52:26,356 --> 00:52:27,859
Why...
933
00:52:27,860 --> 00:52:29,428
did you lie to me?
934
00:52:29,429 --> 00:52:31,800
'Cause I had to protect you
from my mistake.
935
00:52:33,671 --> 00:52:36,242
[sighs]
936
00:52:36,243 --> 00:52:38,446
Please.
937
00:52:38,447 --> 00:52:39,983
[inhales]
938
00:52:39,984 --> 00:52:42,722
[sighs]
939
00:52:45,027 --> 00:52:46,830
Show me.
940
00:52:54,546 --> 00:52:57,184
♪ ♪
941
00:53:00,692 --> 00:53:02,729
[door opens]
942
00:53:03,698 --> 00:53:05,400
[door closes]
943
00:53:05,401 --> 00:53:07,772
♪ ♪
944
00:53:37,799 --> 00:53:40,805
♪ ♪
945
00:53:54,967 --> 00:53:57,337
The Jesus figure. He...
946
00:53:58,608 --> 00:54:00,511
He touched me.
947
00:54:00,512 --> 00:54:02,615
My heart.
948
00:54:04,720 --> 00:54:06,523
He moved you?
949
00:54:07,893 --> 00:54:09,996
He literally touched my heart.
950
00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:12,602
With defibrillator paddles.
951
00:54:12,603 --> 00:54:17,444
Shocked me back to life
from a very...
952
00:54:17,445 --> 00:54:18,948
dark sleep.
953
00:54:19,917 --> 00:54:21,987
Or so I thought.
954
00:54:25,494 --> 00:54:27,030
Who are the rest
of these people, though?
955
00:54:27,031 --> 00:54:29,468
- Homeless?
- Unhoused.
956
00:54:31,507 --> 00:54:33,075
I was only able to identify
957
00:54:33,076 --> 00:54:35,013
one other person.
Someone I knew vaguely.
958
00:54:35,014 --> 00:54:37,685
Mary Colsby.
959
00:54:37,686 --> 00:54:38,854
Who is she?
960
00:54:38,855 --> 00:54:40,490
[Megan]
She was many things.
961
00:54:40,491 --> 00:54:41,860
Most recently, the woman
962
00:54:41,861 --> 00:54:43,998
who accused your husband
Marshall of assault.
963
00:54:45,668 --> 00:54:47,872
♪ ♪
964
00:54:47,873 --> 00:54:49,374
[inhales deeply]
965
00:54:49,375 --> 00:54:51,747
My God. [sighs]
966
00:54:55,487 --> 00:54:57,625
All right, people!
967
00:54:57,626 --> 00:55:01,633
Bag every piece of evidence!
968
00:55:01,634 --> 00:55:03,637
Print every surface!
969
00:55:03,638 --> 00:55:06,643
Do your jobs and do them well.
970
00:55:06,644 --> 00:55:09,849
Meet me in my old office
in one hour.
971
00:55:09,850 --> 00:55:11,620
- You're gonna help us?
- Who else is gonna solve
972
00:55:11,621 --> 00:55:13,389
this case, Jack? Her?
973
00:55:13,390 --> 00:55:15,794
Lois, that's unkind
and fucking unnecessary.
974
00:55:15,795 --> 00:55:18,333
And it's also the goddamn truth.
975
00:55:19,703 --> 00:55:22,675
And we need to start telling
each other the truth.
976
00:55:22,676 --> 00:55:24,044
Huh?
977
00:55:25,047 --> 00:55:27,083
Jack, I know who did this.
978
00:55:27,084 --> 00:55:29,522
♪ ♪
979
00:55:30,525 --> 00:55:31,994
One hour.
980
00:55:33,129 --> 00:55:35,367
♪ ♪
981
00:55:58,948 --> 00:56:01,954
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
982
00:56:10,905 --> 00:56:12,942
♪ ♪
983
00:56:43,169 --> 00:56:45,173
♪ ♪
984
00:57:15,067 --> 00:57:46,162
♪ ♪