.
- Mom, if you're going to order like that,
I'm not gonna take you to my favorite bagel place anymore.
- Oh, what's the big deal?
I don't want both sides toasted,
so I order a nice, cool bottom with a piping hot top.
- Speaking of a hot top, that's mine.
- What? No.
I've had this thing forever.
- No, look, look, there is a mustard stain on the elbow.
And the tag is still on it in case I could return it
without them noticing the elbow.
- Well, that's what's been sticking me.
[grunts]
There, that's better. - [groans]
Okay, Mom, you cannot just wear my clothes
whenever you want.
- Well, you can't blame me.
If your apartment was bigger,
we wouldn't have to share a closet.
- You're right. It's my fault.
How can I expect you to recognize your own clothing
in such a small space?
[Gabby mouths words] - I forgive you, my dear.
But the good news is,
I think it looks best on me, don't you?
- I'm just the accountant.
- Hey, hey.
My eyes are up here.
[chuckles]
And if you'll excuse me, I have a stain to get out.
- Oh, my God. Hand me that lemon.
Hand me the lemon!
[grunting]
That's better.
- You know, if I knew Val when I was studying narcissism,
I could have brought her in for extra credit.
- Ironically, the first thing you think of
is how a narcissist could have helped you.
- Hey, can you take care of this for me?
The property taxes on Daddy's house are due again.
- [sighs] Bobbie, as your accountant, I have to say,
you either have to sell that house
or don't tell me and burn it down for the insurance money.
- I can't believe you haven't sold that yet.
We cleaned it out over a month ago.
Remember?
I moved stuff while you looked through stuff.
- It's on the market.
I'm just waiting on the right person to make an offer.
- You know who's the right person?
The one who makes an offer.
- Just take care of that, please.
- Looks like someone could use some help
dealing with their feelings.
- No, thanks.
I'll talk about it with a real therapist.
- Hey. [snaps fingers]
My eyes are up here.
- ♪ Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ♪
♪ To get through the day ♪
♪ And sleep on through the night ♪
♪ But here you'll find a place ♪
♪ That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
♪ You belong at Happy's Place ♪
- Ooh, that's a nice gift basket.
I didn't know we knew any classy people.
- It's from a family who wants the house,
like I'm some good-time Sally they can just buy with popcorn.
- Uh, I think they meant it as a nice gesture.
- Oh, really?
Well, it just so happens that popcorn gives me gas.
What do you think about that now, huh?
- I think that you're having a hard time
picturing someone else living in Happy's house,
that they'll replace all your memories
with ones of their own.
- Oh, my gosh, you've solved the problem.
I'm cured.
You can go now.
- I'm just saying, I know this is hard.
- Yeah, it is.
I think I could let the house go
if I knew that the people living there were gonna fill it
with love and happiness.
- Hey.
Steve told me that you haven't sold Happy's house yet.
Well, congratulations.
I have your buyer.
- I don't like where this is going.
- My mom. - And it just got worse.
- She's got money.
She says she screwed Dad in the divorce.
Which normally would bother me,
but I have got to get her out of my apartment.
- I thought she was staying with you so the two of you
could work on your relationship.
- Yeah, well, we can't work on our mother-daughter issues
if we're working on roommate issues.
Like how I hate the sound of her chewing,
which is even worse when she's eating.
I mean, who can chew milk? [panting]
- I don't think this is a good idea, Gabby.
- No, please, Bobbie.
Please, I am desperate.
We just need a little space between us.
I think she'd be easier to take if she was half a city away
and not attached to me like a barnacle
with chardonnay breath.
- Barnacles actually try to support
the ecosystems they're attached to, you know,
like coral reefs and--
I'll be quiet now. [mutters]
- Huh? Hmm?
- Okay, I'll let her look at the house.
But I can't promise anything.
- Okay. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Ah, freedom!
- Uh, Val doesn't sound like the buyer you were looking for.
- What was I supposed to do?
You saw how important that is to Gabby.
- Maybe Val won't like it.
- Are you kidding? [chuckles]
The house is quaint, charming, and homey.
She'll hate it!
- So you're going to let Val be the villain?
- You mean, am I gonna let Val be Val?
Yup.
- Takoda, can you cover the kitchen
tomorrow night at dinner?
I've got a, uh, thing.
- No problem. - Appreciate it.
- A thing?
Emmett doesn't have things.
[gasps] I bet this is his date with Monica.
Oh, I don't know if we're ready.
- We?
- This is your date with Monica, isn't it?
Isn't it? - What about it?
- Okay.
I wish we had more time, but I guess we'll have to work fast.
- I'll bring you back a doggie bag, but you can't come.
- Okay, there's a men's store in Kingston Pike
where we can get almost everything,
but we'll have to make the alterations overnight,
so expect to pay extra for that.
- So while I'm there, you can go to Italy
and buy me some custom-made shoes.
It's a long flight, so you should leave now.
- Emmett, what you wear tomorrow is important.
Haven't you heard the expression,
clothes make the man?
- Yeah, and I'm pretty sure it was invented
by a man who made clothes.
- I'm trying to help you.
So tell me, what are you planning on wearing?
- Uh, this?
And I might take the apron off.
- I forbid it.
- [laughs] You forbid it?
- Let me take you shopping.
Let's at least get you a decent top.
- Steve, I have lived my entire life
without buying "a top," so.
Don't worry about me, all right?
Nobody pays attention to clothes.
- Don't listen to the bad man.
.
- Come on in.
- Well, are you sure we're okay
to leave the car parked out here?
- Of course, Mom.
It's an adorable little street.
- Next to a "community garden"?
I think we all know what that means.
Willie Nelson's bus'll be pulling up twice a week.
- Well, I hope you like the house
better than you like the neighborhood.
- I hope so, too, Bobbie.
Thank you.
- Well, let's get this tour started.
This is the living room.
- Wow. Mom, look at all of this space.
- It is quite big.
The tip of the tongue, lips, and teeth.
- What are you doing?
- I'm checking the room's resonance.
- And? - It's very bad.
- Yeah, most of the rooms don't resonate right.
That's why we've had trouble selling the place.
Plus, it's drafty.
- You know, which is something you can easily fix,
right, Bobbie?
- Oh, absolutely.
We used to just roll up a towel
and stick it underneath the front door.
- Well, if it's good enough for a frat house.
- There you go.
- Hey, Mom.
Mom, look at this beautiful built-in bookshelf.
- Oh.
- It'd be perfect to display your decorative bowls.
- And my Belleek vases would look lovely here as well.
Hmm.
- Well, there used to be more shelves,
but the termites decided we didn't need that top one.
- Uh, termites?
Well, we'll get to put up one of those big, fun tents, huh?
Hey, Mom, why don't you go check out the kitchen, okay?
- I hope, at the very least, there's decent natural light.
- Be prepared to be disappointed.
- Hey, Bobbie, why are you being so honest
about everything that is wrong with the house?
- Well, I'm sorry, but as a responsible seller,
I need to give her all the information.
- It's my mother.
If she's not bound by the truth, why should you be?
- Bobbie, is this cutting board built right into the counter?
- Yes, it is, super convenient--
and impossible to clean.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Hello, everyone.
- What the hell is this?
- I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
- Why are you dressed like me?
- How could you notice how I'm dressed...
[imitating Emmett] When nobody pays attention to clothes?
- You know, if you put him on your lap,
you two could do a ventriloquist act.
- [normally] Emmett, people do notice clothes.
Monica definitely will.
- Knock it off.
I'm already nervous enough about this date.
- You didn't seem nervous before.
- I was lying.
- Hold on--I thought you were ready
to put yourself out there.
- Well, I'm not.
I mean, I know who I am here,
and I know who I am at the fishing shack
and a football game.
The problem is, I don't know who I am out there.
- You be yourself.
Emmett, to me, clothes are a shield
I get to put on before I face the world.
The right turtleneck sweater can change my mood from
"life is a hellish carnival" to
"maybe being human isn't so bad."
- That's one hell of a sweater.
- It's not the sweater.
It's the confidence it gives me.
And that's what I was trying to give you.
But the most important thing, Emmett,
is that you feel like yourself because you are magnificent.
- Hey, Emmett, Takoda,
Emmett.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Oh, and you're welcome to keep the rug.
We only bought it to hide the water damage.
- You should have bought something to hide the rug.
- Well, I could tell you just to buy another one, Mom,
but I'm sure there's a reason that's stupid.
- People will still know that what's underneath is flawed.
Wearing a pretty dress didn't get you invited to prom,
did it?
- There it is.
- Okay, well, have you seen all you need to see?
- I think I have. - Okay.
Don't feel like you need to spare my feelings.
These older homes aren't right for everyone.
- An old home?
I should have put her in an old home.
Come on, Mom, back to hell.
- Wait, wait, wait.
With my follow-through and attention for detail,
this is the perfect home for me.
Congratulations, I'd like to buy it.
- Hallelujah!
- Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Did I tell you we have rats?
You can't even get a cat because the rats will kill it.
- I never met a rat I couldn't drive away.
- It's true. All animals, really.
- What about the flooring and all the water stains
and all the other things that made you go, ugh?
- I love a project.
And this house has great bones.
All I have to do is get rid of the old skin and the organs.
- Organs? You mean, like the heart?
- Speaking of hearts, mine is bursting with joy.
- But I'll start with the backyard.
It's a complete do-over.
I mean, that ramshackle shed has to go.
- That shed is where my mama made her pottery.
- Ah, my Belleek vases are pottery.
I'm pretty sure your mother was just playing with clay.
- [laughs nervously] Oh, Mom, you are hilarious.
Look at her, already filling this place with laughter.
- That shed is where my mama made things out of love.
And I'll be goat of thunder if I'm gonna let
a cold, heartless woman tear it down!
- Excuse me?
- Bobbie, please.
- I'm sorry, Gabby.
Sale is off.
- [scoffs]
[sighs]
Well, you know how I hate to criticize anyone.
But your friend is an awful person.
♪ ♪
.
- I thought you said popcorn gives you gas.
- It does.
I'm punishing myself.
- Okay.
Except in a way, you'll be punishing me too.
- I feel terrible.
You should have seen Gabby's face
when I told her I wasn't gonna sell
Daddy's house to her mother.
- I'm sure she understands.
She knows how hard it is for you to let go of Happy's house.
- It's not just Daddy's house.
If anything, it's more Mama's house.
- Oh.
So this is about your mother.
- Everyone forgets about her,
like she didn't matter, but she did.
She mattered a lot.
- Do you wanna tell me about her?
What was she like?
- Well, Daddy had the personality,
but Mama was the glue.
She filled our house with love
and made it a home.
- That's why you haven't been able to sell.
You know, you have the tavern to keep Happy alive for you,
but the house is where you remember your mother.
- Well, I never thought about it like that, but yeah.
- And you want it to be filled with love and happiness
the way she always did.
- And don't get me wrong, we had our share of fights.
Some of them were doozies.
I mean, you've met me. Imagine me as a teenager.
- [laughs]
Yeah, Red Thunder on steroids.
- I don't like that.
- Right. Sorry.
- The point is, Mama never let anybody leave the house
until they talked it out.
She always said that you can't fix a problem
unless you're in the same room with it.
- Well, let me ask you this.
Who would your mom want to have the house?
The perfect family or the family that
needed a place to fix their problems?
- Perfect family.
I know that's not right, but I wanted to give it a shot.
[upbeat music]
- You heard anything from Emmett about the date?
- No.
And I'm sick about it, sick and nervous.
Sick, nervous, and worried, and filled with regret.
Sick, nervous, worried, filled with regret and sad and--
- Steve!
So the answer's no.
- Emmett, you are beautiful.
- Looking sharp, my brother.
- Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
- Nobody's laughing. You look fantastic.
So how'd it go?
- Well, I'll be honest, I felt silly at first.
I kept waiting for her to ask,
but why the hell are you dressed like that?
- If she had asked that,
I would have fought her for you.
- But I felt good.
I might even say I felt handsome.
- So are you two going to go out again?
- Yeah, well, that didn't come up,
so maybe it didn't go so well on her side.
- How could it not?
You're a goateed fox.
[phone buzzes]
Is it from Monica? Tell us.
Tell us!
- "Most fun I've had in a long time.
Can't wait for my next date
with the best-dressed man in Knoxville."
- The goateed fox scores!
- As a dear friend of mine once said,
clothes make the man.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
.
- Well, I have to say something.
When you drive fast, it reflects poorly on me.
- Yes, but the ride ends much sooner.
- Someday, you'll be speeding, have a horrible car crash,
end up under a truck,
and then what man will want you?
- I think I swallowed a crown.
Hey, Bobbie.
- Gabby.
Val.
- Hello.
- Well, I was thinking about what I said yesterday, and...
Val, if I was rude, I'm sorry.
- No, that's all right.
And you were.
- Mm-hmm.
- But I'm not the one who has to live with your guilt.
- Listen, I might be willing to sell you the house--
- Really? Done. Get the papers.
- On one condition.
- Oh, Bobbie, I have to stop you right there.
I can't agree not to change a lot of things.
And I know your parents meant well,
but I can't let people think
I did this.
- This house held our family together,
and I think Mama would wanna pass that on.
- Great. All right.
Should I get a lawyer, or will a handshake do?
- What--what exactly are you saying, Bobbie?
- Okay, I'm willing to sell the house to you
if you agree that you and Gabby live here together.
- Like, with cameras?
For a reality TV show?
You know she doesn't show up on film.
- Gabby, you wanted to deal with your issues
with your mother.
- Issues?
What is she talking about?
- [chuckling] I'll tell you later.
- You two don't need to be in a place
where you're away from each other.
You need space, yes,
but you can't fix a problem
if you're not in the same room with it.
- I'm sorry. I should be taking notes.
I didn't realize this was going to be a lecture.
- That's the deal. Take it or leave it.
- [sighs]
- Well, what do you think, Mom?
It is a big place.
Three bedrooms, two bathrooms.
You won't have to wait to use one
while I finish quietly screaming.
- Well, God knows I could never say no to my daughter.
- [scoffs] You never said no to me?
- Even when it hurt me.
A mother's pain begins with labor,
and it never really ends.
- Please.
You said you had an epidural for conception.
- I don't like that.
Bobbie, it's a yes.
- Well, then, welcome to your new home.
- And, Bobbie, I want you to know
that I will do everything in my power
to finally make this a home to be proud of.
- [chuckles drily] Okay. Excuse me.
I need to go quietly scream in the bathroom.
- So should we hug?
- No, we did that last week.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪