This is just about the weight
of the hamster I had when I was a kid.
Little Tex weighed half a pound.
I'm going with that. - All right.
0.74 pounds.
Oh, my gosh!
That's exactly right!
You know, if you did that trick in a tiny village,
they'd make you their king?
- Emmett Hawkins... - Mm-hmm.
Tater king.
And you could be my tater queen.
Oh, thank you, My Lord.
And we'd live in a large castle
and have lots of little tater tots.
Hey, did you know our anniversary's coming up?
Oh, of course I did.
- Really? - Yeah.
Then how long have we been a thing?
I guess you could say when...
Isabella made us go to the dumb arcade.
Nope.
You were too chicken to do anything.
All right, what about when I asked if I could come by
and check on you and Isabella?
Nope again, but you're getting warmer.
How about the day I actually came by
and checked on you and Isabella?
- Ding, ding, ding, ding. - Oh.
Which means we're having an anniversary,
celebrating...
- Celebra-- - Three...
months. - Months, three months.
Well, let's go back to weighing potatoes.
♪ Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ♪
♪ To get through the day ♪
♪ And sleep on through the night ♪
♪ But here you'll find a place ♪
♪ That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
♪ You belong at Happy's Place ♪
Oh, aren't they cute?
What?
I had a dream about you last night.
Not this again, Steve.
I can't be responsible for what I do in your dreams.
You told Bobbie Emmett's secret,
that he's known about Isabella for years.
God, it's bad enough when my wife does this.
Listen, Takoda--
Listen, it felt completely real,
except that we were standing on quicksand,
which makes no sense because we were on a train.
None of this makes sense, Steve.
Just know that I'm watching you and I don't miss anything.
- Good morning. - Ah!
That's on you.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Uh, is everything okay? - Yeah. Why?
Because you never cook this late
and you're dressed like a tradwife.
What's a tradwife?
Just Google it.
There's a ton of influencers
who can't wait to explain it to you
while they make a cobbler from scratch.
Well, I'm making chicken piccata for Emmett
because our anniversary is tomorrow.
Cooking for a cook-- pretty bold.
I just want to make the perfect meal,
you know, speak his love language.
"Love language"?
Somebody read the book I gave her.
I just want to make him feel special,
which reminds me-- I need a favor.
- Anything. - I need you to get lost.
so Emmett and I can have some privacy.
Ah, easy. I'll just hang out at Gabby's.
She found out I haven't seen the movie "Beaches"
and wants to watch it through my virgin eyes.
Okay, tell me how you feel about this.
No, not good.
Oh, dang it.
Oh, I hadn't done it in a while.
I guess I'm a little rusty.
It tastes like rust.
That's the word I was looking for.
You bastard.
Have another dream, Steve?
Yes, I did, and in it--
In it, you told Emmett's secret to Bobbie,
and she started crying.
I was so shocked, I would have sprung right out of bed,
but I couldn't.
I was trapped under my weighted blanket.
I think you're just worried about keeping the secret,
and it's easier to blame me.
Of course I'm worri--
Okay, what is it with you two?
What do you mean, Gabby?
I mean, since yesterday, you've been all,
me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
What gives? - Okay, here's what gives.
Takoda and I are having a conversation
about a private matter,
and we would very much appreciate it
if you kept your nose out of our business.
No.
Wow.
Whatever you're hiding must be good.
Yeah, I'm just a little hurt that you wouldn't trust me.
I'll put your secret in the old Gabby vault
for safekeeping.
That's okay.
It's going to be a slow day at work,
and I'm a bored, middle-aged, single woman
with no real hobbies.
I don't even crush candy.
Your secret just became my new obsession.
Hey, Bobbie said that you wanted to talk to me.
I also want to talk to you.
I want to give Bobbie and Emmett some privacy tonight.
Can I come over to your place? - Yes!
Oh, my gosh, yes!
Okay, all right, I just need to get my "Beaches" DVD back
from my neighbor.
But don't worry. I've got a key to her place.
And by that, I mean I made a duplicate.
Oh, what did you want to talk to me about?
Steve and Takoda have a secret.
- I love that for them. - No, no.
We need to find out what it is.
It's none of our business, Gabby.
Boring. Okay, I'm going to get Bobbie.
No, no, Bobbie is busy.
Of course she's busy. We're all busy.
No one wants to be alone with their own thoughts.
Look, I'll help you figure out what the secret is
if you leave Bobbie alone.
She's got enough on her plate right now.
But will you really help? Not just pretend to help?
like my mom did when I accidentally
fell into the deep end?
- Where was the lifeguard? - She was the lifeguard.
No, no, I am 100% in, okay?
Love a cup of piping-hot tea.
Ah, good.
Okay, Gabby is happy. - Yay.
Here is the plan.
If we just ask Steve, he's going to start lying,
which is entertaining, but that's a game for another day.
Okay, so we go to Takoda because he never lies.
Yes, he has a strong set of morals.
- Mm-hmm. - So let's exploit them.
Hey, y'all getting ready for your big, fun girls' night?
Tonight you and Emmett will have the place to yourselves.
Oh, yeah.
♪ Brown chicken, brown cow ♪
Don't do that again.
both: ♪ Brown chicken, brown cow ♪
Oh, Happy's Place. Yes, Gabby speaking.
No, you go first. What are you wearing?
- Where's Emmett? - Shh, shh.
Quick, help me find his recipe box.
"Recipe box," adorable.
Maybe it's by his spectacles or his ear trumpet.
I know he's got a recipe for chicken piccata somewhere.
Aha! Found it!
Chicken piccata.
Pilfering a chicken recipe behind your lover's back--
so sneaky, so romantic,
like a turn-of-the-century romance novel.
I just want us to have a very special dinner.
Is that silly? - Not at all.
You're just a gorgeous chambermaid
who doesn't know how to cook but has caught the eye
of a local railroad tycoon and--
I'm just really into the romance genre.
Well, get ready to swoon, because I've decided tonight...
I'm going to tell Emmett I love him.
What a twist. Ah!
That's incredible. How do you feel?
Like a plate of Jell-O in an earthquake.
You know, it took me a whole year to tell Travis
because I couldn't find the right time.
So I'm going to create the right time with Emmett.
Then I hope it's everything you want.
Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
- What are y'all doing? - Oh.
I was, uh...
I was just telling Isabella about our potato game.
- Love the potato game. - Yeah.
- So fun. - Fun.
Really? Remind me what the rules are again.
- Well, first of all-- - Not you.
Her.
As you know, it's...
figuring out which president's head
is shaped like the potato.
So we got another Grover Cleveland over here.
Y'all want to go? - Yeah.
Thank you.
Hey, Takoda.
Hey.
What time is it?
2:45.
Wrong!
It's time for... both: Truth talk!
What have you and Steve been whispering about?
- Is it about me? - Or me?
- He blinked. - A-ha.
I think that's just how eyes work.
both: Ah!
What's going on? Why are you talking to him?
Takoda, don't say a word. You're coming with me.
Oh, no, you don't. Truth talk is not over.
- Get a hobby. - Oh, come on!
Oh, you're both surprisingly strong.
Gabby, shh, shh, drop it. Drop it!
Shh. - Okay.
Takoda, deal with you later.
I never choose violence, but if you follow us,
I will be forced to activate my helicopter arms.
Okay. Oh, I'm so scared.
- Activate! - Oh, God! Oh, God!
Jeez! Oh, my God!
I'm hit! I'm hit!
We don't want to be disturbed.
I know the feeling.
If Bobbie finds out the secret,
it could blow up their whole relationship.
I'm nervous, Steve.
And cold...
so cold.
We need to find a way to keep Cagney and Lacey away from you.
Wait. I've got it.
What is it?
Just trust me. I'll handle it.
Will you leave me and everyone else alone
if I tell you the secret?
Absolutely.
And promise not to breathe a word of it to anyone,
even Gabby?
Okay.
Takoda's in love with you.
What?
Takoda's in love with you.
Of course.
- Tips were good tonight? - Yeah, pretty good.
Mm.
Nice.
Oh, God, you can cut the tension with a knife.
You're a sweet kid, Takoda.
And you wouldn't be the first.
Thanks. You're sweet, too.
And I don't know what that second thing means.
What does anything mean?
We're just bodies moving in space.
Takoda, are you in love with me?
What? No!
I mean--I'm sorry,
I don't mean to make it sound like you're not lovable.
I mean, you're fun and beautiful and--and womanly.
Stop.
Thank you.
If you're not in love with me,
why would Steve tell me you were?
That ass.
He probably did it so that the two of us
would be too uncomfortable to talk to each other.
That ass.
Listen, Takoda,
I know the secret is about me, not Gabby.
So I'll leave it up to you.
Is it something that you think I have the right to know?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
Emmett's known about you for years.
What?
Isabella, I'm sorry. I know this is a lot.
Wait. So...
how many people know?
Does Bobbie know?
No.
Emmett wanted to tell her before they got too serious,
but things between them just happened really fast.
Yeah, they did.
And they're about to get faster.
I have to stop her.
Isabella, I do love you like a sister.
Yeah, okay. I got to go.
That was absolutely fantastic, Bobbie.
Thank you.
I'm going to need to get that recipe from you.
Oh, well, I have a confession to make.
That is your recipe.
I stole it from your kitchen. - I know.
That's why I'm going to have to get that recipe from you.
- Here you go. - Oh, thanks.
I-I just wanted our meal to be perfect.
Oh.
Mm.
I'm so happy right now.
Mm, me too.
More than happy.
Emmett Hawkins, I want you to know--
Hey! What's crack-a-lackin'?
I-I mean, you know, dinner for two.
Yum.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Tell me ten things you did today.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I-I was just talking to Steve and Takoda
about the past and old promises.
I thought you had a girls' night with Gabby.
Was that tonight?
I am such a goof.
No, you're not.
Not what?
A goof.
You're one of the most thoughtful people
I've ever known.
And thanks.
Bobbie and I are going to talk now.
Okay.
Emmett?
I'm going to tell you something
that I should have told you when we first started dating.
Okay.
I have known about Isabella...
for years.
What?
Happy and I went to the fishing shack one day,
and everything was just as normal as it could be.
And out of the blue,
he just turned around and looked at me, and he said...
I had an affair with another woman,
and...
we have a child together.
You knew this whole time?
He made me promise to never tell a soul.
He was my best friend, Bobbie.
Yeah.
Hey, you know,
I think I'm going to have to sit on this a while.
Okay.
All right, well, I'll get out of here and let you do that.
Okay.
- Is Bobbie here? - No, just Emmett.
Does anybody else's stomach hurt?
Steve, tell them.
I think everyone already knows.
Tell them.
Takoda doesn't love you.
- We know. - Yeah.
I love you as friends.
Steve not so much.
Oh, I'm sorry I said someone loved you.
Isabella, I'm sorry you had to find out
about Emmett's secret this way.
How are you doing?
Honestly, I'm just worried about Bobbie right now.
Well, since everything's out in the open,
can we all agree not to keep secrets
from each other anymore? - Sure.
- Yeah. - I backed into Steve's car.
Good morning.
- Hey. - Hi.
Good morning.
Bobbie...
I'm so sorry you found out the way you did.
I know you are, Emmett. I'm not here to fight with you.
Oh, good,
because I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
Yeah, me neither.
And while I was not sleeping,
I was trying to put myself in your shoes.
And boy howdy, Daddy really put you in a rough situation.
Well, I was going to tell you at first,
but then I kept, you know, putting it off until...
it just felt like it was too late.
Well, you made a promise and I respect you for keeping it.
You were a good friend.
You saying that...
means the world to me.
But I think that's...
all the two of us can be.
Just good friends.
Huh. Well...
are you ending things between us?
Because that's...
that's not what I want at all.
I just don't have it in me
to be anything more than that right now.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, thanks.
You okay?
Yeah, thanks.
- I love you. - Love you, too.
So when exactly did you back into my car?
Three weeks ago.
And you didn't tell me?
You didn't notice it the first time.
So I figured you wouldn't notice it the second time.
You hit my car twice?
Oh, good Lord.
I get no credit for being honest.
I love you, Gabby.
I knew it.