MISSING
ISTANBUL ENCYCLOPEDIA
Interesting. Epic. So…
Look at him.
-Pelin. -I got you.
I'm sure you'll have more fun.
Truth or dare?
Truth.
-How many times have you had sex? -If she counted.
How dare you? How are you so bold? How can you ask me something like that?
Kidding. How many times have I made love? Take a guess.
-Five. -Seventy-three.
-A thousand. -Whoa!
I'm honored, dear Dodo, but… Well…
Zero.
Okay, tell me the truth now.
Zero, man.
Wait, did I prepare you for all those dates for nothing?
I did your make-up. You even told me it went great.
-So, nothing happened? -Nothing happened, somehow.
What kind of friend group are we? How on earth do you not like metal?
-I don't. -And you've never had sex?
-Okay, whatever. Just go on. -And that was my secret.
-Zehra's closer to me than you. -Come on.
I think I made it count.
-Who's spinning? Me? -Yes.
Let's go! Okay, truth or dare?
-Truth. -Damn! Enough with the truth!
-Say dare so we can see something! -What are you gonna ask?
What is your red line in a relationship? What makes you leave a girl?
-I'll leave her if she lies. -Shut it, Mr. Cliché.
But it's true. If she lies, it's over for me. That's it.
And blondes aren't usually my type. I like brunettes more.
I like cute, oval faces.
I like gazelle-eyed ones.
-That's all. -He likes girls named Zehra.
Okay, I'm spinning.
What's up?
-Fine, you? -I'm fine too.
-May I ask a question? -Sure.
Thank you so much. Truth, dare?
-Dare. -Can I get a big round of applause?
Finally.
-Jump into the sea. -What?
-Jump into the sea. -Harun, don't be silly.
-You can do it. -No.
-Yeah, go on. -Don't be silly.
-Hey, it's a game, girl. Come on. -No, no way. No.
You can do it.
No.
But didn't we all promise to go into the sea today?
I didn't promise such a thing.
Why?
You don't know how to swim?
What if I don't know?
What's it to you?
It's okay if you don't know. Just say you don't know.
-Hello. -Hello.
Welcome to the French oral test.
Thank you.
How are you?
-I'm great. -Very well.
I'm going to be recording your voice so that we can assess it later.
-Do you agree? -Yes, I do.
Great. Let's begin.
Please begin by introducing yourself. What's your name and surname?
Nesrin Caner.
-Where were you born? -In Amasya.
When did you move to Istanbul?
-Twenty-five years ago. -That's a long time.
What's your occupation?
I'm a cardiovascular surgeon. I'm not currently employed.
-May I ask why? -I resigned to pursue my career in France.
You know what they say.
You can't leave a city. It keeps following you.
I don't think it's fair
for a first world country citizen to say this.
I want to live with you.
I want us to solve your problems together. I want to live with you.
There's only one thing on my mind.
Being with you.
I'm begging you.
Please let it happen.
I love you, Nesrin. I love you.
I love you so much.
Louis.
Can we continue please?
You told me you wanted to live in France, right?
You seem like a woman who has a lot of self-confidence.
How can you be so sure that you can
successfully pass this exam?
It's admirable.
SHARED APARTMENT WITH A FEMALE 15,000 TL - RENTAL
Hi. I'm calling about my dormitory application.
You said you'd get back to me.
So, I didn't get it?
I understand.
Would it change anything if I came in person?
It won't. Okay.
Okay then. Bye, have a nice day.
Are you upset?
No.
-You? -No.
Good.
Any news about the dorm you mentioned?
It's not certain yet.
But it will work out. Why wouldn't it?
What if it doesn't? We have to find a solution.
I don't know.
My life has always been filled with uncertainties.
I guess I have to learn to live with it instead of fighting it.
What do you mean?
You know.
There are billions of people in this world.
I'm not the main character in the world, after all.
Everyone is going through something.
Things work out somehow.
When you overcome one mountain, another one pops up.
I think so.
That's why you can never know exactly who you are
or see the path you're on.
But I think that's normal.
-It is. -It is.
So, there's no problem.
I mean, at least for now.
When will you get your exam results?
They should've been out by now.
I'm sure you passed.
I hope so.
AMAZON AN EXPERIMENTAL PLAY
-Hi. -Hi.
-Are we cool? -We're cool.
-Good luck. -Thanks.
You're not stuck on yesterday, right?
No, I'm not.
How's my hair? Does it look good?
It does.
What are you gonna do with your hair?
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY CIHAN TAYLAN AMAZON
-Enjoy the play. -Thanks.
-What's going on? -Go on.
Dichotomy has never left me alone.
I don't know if it's my chronic indecision
or the constant search driven by the feeling
that I'm not truly alive unless I experience things.
But I've always been stuck between these polar opposites.
Did I have to choose something?
I don't know.
I can't tell you how much I admire people who can choose a path.
Those who say, "This is what I want, this is my goal."
Or those who say, "I hate this. No, never."
I feel like…
my tongue is tied,
my heart is burdened,
and my mind is frozen.
There's even a name for it in the literature, you know?
I'm a diagnosed and registered case of ambivalence.
Experiencing two contradictory feelings,
two opposing emotions, beliefs, and desires simultaneously
and being paralyzed.
Ambivalence is not being able to do anything.
And this feels like the bottom of the sea.
Airless.
You must be wondering. No, no one told me or this character to cover up her head.
So, why did I do it?
Due to a divine feeling?
Or was it a reaction to the looks directed at my mom?
Was it in solidarity with the woman I came from? I don't know.
But even if I knew the answer…
it wouldn't justify your looks.
Don't ever forget that.
It was my first day in Istanbul.
I didn't want to cover myself that day.
I didn't actually plan it.
It was the will of an unknown reason,
and sometimes you can make a decision even if you're so confused.
Maybe I was afraid of being categorized,
of being judged, tagged, and etched on someone's mind irreversibly.
Because I'm actually a flighty person.
Like a balloon.
A balloon has air inside it. But no one sees or pays attention to it.
They only look at its exterior.
So, I was afraid of getting stuck in those looks.
I wanted to be seen unfiltered like everyone does,
as much as everyone wants.
So, I created two spaces for myself.
And I can't say I wasn't ashamed, because I was very ashamed.
To find a common ground with the outside world,
I removed some stones in between with an anxious will.
And now, in retrospect…
I've become rather desolate.
And I don't even know what type of soil I want to grow in anymore.
The only thing I know
is to roam within myself.
To hang onto a word.
Not every piece of gold shines.
And not every traveler has lost their way.
Yes, that's right.
That's the way disasters are.
Don't they happen when everything is going well?
Because who can know where those who think they're on the right path actually stand?
And who can know that getting lost, that the doubt, isn't a part of the path?
Because I'll probably wake up tomorrow and have no idea what I want to do.
A headscarf, a cap, a hoodie, a wig, or bald.
The only thing I know is, "Thank God, I could leave the house."
If disasters are the stops when everything is going well,
then maybe miracles are found along the route of getting lost.
Who knows?
The only thing I know is…
I'm still me.
Zehra.
Is everyone here?
Yeah. So…
It was good. I mean…
It wasn't bad.
Of course, I have detailed notes for everyone.
But let me tell you this.
At this point of the play,
we can't make additions or deletions as we wish, Zehra.
But, Professor, you said,
"If you have an experience on stage, embrace it."
-"The continuity doesn't matter--" -It was for rehearsals. For rehearsals.
Rehearsals are a part of the creative process, right?
It's with an audience. It's the play's rehearsal.
Aren't we repeating the same things for two weeks?
You did anything different?
Everyone was free to create any character they wanted in the first two weeks.
Have I interfered at all?
I wasn't damaging any other character, only in my monologue…
No, each monologue here affects the others.
When you acted like that, when we heard you act like that,
Harun and I panicked.
You two have a scene five minutes after.
Doesn't he need to change his reactions? Because, you know…
You can appreciate that the characters facing a headscarf-wearing character
behave accordingly. They relate accordingly.
"They relate accordingly"?
Of course. Don't we have compartments in our minds, Zehra? I mean…
Okay, let me put it this way. Picture me as a female stage director.
Right? You can probably do that.
What are you imagining?
Beautiful.
Thanks, Selin, but that's not my point. Am I wearing a headscarf?
You're not.
That's what I'm talking about. There are compartments in our minds.
We put the characters in them. You messed up their calibration.
For example, what was that class called, Istanbul Encyclopedia?
Professor Özlem's class, right?
Can you imagine Professor Özlem teaching wearing a headscarf?
But we can imagine the lady in the dining hall.
You mean it's a class thing?
I'm not talking about a purely economic class difference.
Honestly, I can imagine anyone in any way.
I think it's absurd we're even discussing this.
Doğukan, what are you talking about? We're not trying to badmouth anyone here.
We're not advocating banning anything. It's about consistency.
As artists, we chase reality.
As I told you, it's about placing people in certain spots.
I'm not saying what Zehra did is wrong. But she wasn't doing that until today.
This wasn't the Zehra character we practiced.
Otherwise, it's a credible character.
I'm not saying it won't work,
but she wouldn't be like that in the next scenes.
Or Harun's character wouldn't say those things.
If Zehra's character was a lead role in a show,
can you imagine the writer wearing a headscarf?
Or how do you picture the female executive who decides whether that show airs?
Is it because of people's prejudice?
What about the prejudice of the people wearing headscarves?
They refuse this kind of job for some reason and this is the result.
It's easy to label people as prejudiced without digging deeper.
Maybe if they weren't this way,
they would prevent others from having prejudices, right?
That's obvious.
There are many people wearing headscarves on campus.
They should do whatever they want.
Even if life gave them an opportunity, would their religion allow them?
No. No, let's drop it. This is going somewhere else.
This isn't our topic. Ours is the consistency in our play, okay?
I mean…
That we should act as we wrote. We didn't write this.
Anyway. It's getting late and we're tired.
We'll decide how Zehra's character is going to be.
Take the Styrofoam pieces in the back. And mop here. Let's leave it clean.
You really are a strange person.
It's great. I've been here for 25 years.
To this world
Okay! Don't do it! Please!
Jump!
My soul burns My soul doesn't know
I have a soul My soul doesn't think
My soul is love My soul doesn't change
My soul
Thump, thump! Doing the final hit and I'm putting an end to this! Thump!
Stop, put it down! Don't!
Ta-da!
I panicked.
Stop.
Easy.
-Careful, those are fragile. -Give it to me. Okay.
FRAGILE
Emel.
There are some papers there. See if they're important.
-What will happen to the furniture, Emel? -Nothing's left, everything's going.
What are you gonna do? Where will you go?
I can take care of myself.
Mom? What about Mom? What about our family?
Everyone will be on their own.
I have nothing more to offer this institution.
Emel.
Emel. Emel, can you listen to me? Just listen. Please, listen to me.
Leave it. Put it somewhere. Put it down.
-Nesrin, okay. -Put it down.
What are you gonna say? What are you gonna ask from me?
I understand you.
Do whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
I'll take care of it.
What are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I'll take care of Mom somehow.
You won't go to France?
I won't, if necessary.
I won't burden you. Don't worry.
Come here.
Emel, I love you so much.
Sevinç.
-Sevinç. -She's not Sevinç, Mom. She's Emel.
-Emel? -Emel. Yes, your daughter Emel.
-Let's pack up and go. -Okay, Mom.
-To Sevinç. -Okay.
-We're going to Sevinç. -Okay.
-Let's go. -Okay, Mom, okay.
Diego.
-Diego! -Zehra?
I've found Diego!
-Diego? -Yes!
-Stop it! -Yes, it's him. Look.
-It must be a lookalike. -No, it's him. I'm sure.
Let me see.
Diego. My boy.
Diego!
-Kitty kitty. -Come.
Diego, is that you? My baby.
Come. Here, kitty. Come here.
Let's look at you. Come here. You're surely as heavy as Diego.
-Yes. I think you are him. -Really?
Yes. Yes! Diego.
Where were you? Where did you go?
What is it?
I was thinking about Diego.
He really missed you. You'll never be apart again.
-It's not that easy. -Why?
Diego can't travel anymore.
How so?
Because he's an old cat. At this age, moving him would be cruel.
Don't worry. He must have been through some crazy adventures. He'll be fine.
-Hello? -Hello? Hello, Nesrin?
Louis?
The official exam results arrived by email today.
-But I wanted to let you know personally. -Okay.
I wanted to let you know whatever we had was great.
Yes, of course it was.
You passed the exam. With a very high score, at that.
Really?
Have a good trip.
Thank you. Thank you for everything, Louis.
What happened?
If I go,
will you take care of Diego?
Of course I will, though I'm still unsure how I'll take care of myself, so…
But I'll definitely find him a place.
How about you stay here with him?
Won't you sell the house?
If you look after Diego, I won't.
Really?
Zehra.
Yes?
I passed the exam.
Congratulations! I'm not surprised.
I knew it.
All right, guys. This is our last class.
I know this hasn't been a typical class.
I even heard you discussing among yourselves
whether this was architecture or literature.
But I'd like to think you understand my point.
Maybe when you design your projects in the future,
you'll remember this assignment and act sensibly,
thinking you might be in someone's encyclopedia.
While years and people have been doing all kinds of harm to the city,
Istanbul is still lovely.
But I will ask you to remember Istanbul and let it breathe.
Because the truth is, this city is suffocating.
But to be able to do this, you need to have your own places.
What affected you the most?
What was your letter, your word?
Yes, now let's share them.
Maybe you have common places. Or some of you will discover new places.
Go ahead, please.
Letter N. Nesrin's house.
In the current dictionary, this is stated for Nesrin.
"The meaning of the name Nesrin,
which has passed into our language from Persian, is wild rose."
"This name appears as 'Nasrin' in Ottoman texts."
"Especially in Diwan poetry, often mentioned alongside rose and tulip,
Nesrin symbolizes longing for the beloved and the agony of love."
House. "A house is a building where people live,
surrounded by walls, divided into rooms,
which has its own roof and sometimes a garden,
and is made of wood, earth, or concrete."
Nesrin's house. The Rüyam Apartment in Moda Cape,
built in 1968, is notable for its geometric facade,
wide windows and flowerbed design,
and it is appropriately proportionate to the street at a human scale.
Here I started writing my personal Istanbul Encyclopedia.
Cats of Istanbul. Diego.
The wise cat. I learned so many things about life from him.
He knows when to get lost and when to return,
and he faces the dire consequences.
The science-student son of a secular civil servant. Harun.
He's full of life with his never-ending energy.
Do you know when I felt it the most?
When I touched his throat in the sea.
I can't explain it. You have to try and see.
Then the strangest thing happened.
Our scheduled emails were delivered. I'll keep what Harun wrote to myself.
But I sent him this.
"The letter to the future."
"Do you realize we're now time traveling? Of course you do."
"You had turned Istanbul into a galactic voyage."
"When you held my hand and got me through portals in Istiklal."
"You are like the moment a star explodes, Harun."
"I watch your enthusiasm in amazement, but I don't get it. What exactly are you?"
"Are you Vega, or Sirius?"
"All I know is, you're a bursting beam of light and I can't look away."
The male bureaucrat. Serdar.
We met on the day he beat cancer, which I always doubted was true.
When I first saw him, it was like, under his charming physical appearance,
he had repressed emotions ready to burst at any moment.
The in-between Gen Y. Emel.
She's one of the most unusual characters I've ever known.
I defined her as one who hides her beauty in an endless darkness,
with her complex state of mind reflected in her body.
The retired teacher. Mrs. Nazife or Mrs. Auntie.
She's like vintage powder.
She covers you up in a soft and nostalgic familiarity.
But you can definitely tell she was like a force of nature back in the day.
She divided herself into her daughters.
She gave her quirks and storms to Emel, and saved the quiet shores for Nesrin.
Still, Mrs. Nazife is deeper than the two of them combined.
I wonder if this is what motherhood is.
Being greater than the sum of what you give.
The devout woman in university. Fatıma.
The students worried about their future.
Yes, the trio of our group.
I love you.
The cardiac surgeon.
My real heroine is…
Nesrin, of course.
When I first saw her, it was hard to tell
whether her obvious tiredness was due to the surgeries
or a chronic condition that'd been etched into her face.
She was like she had experienced everything she needed to,
and her hope, still believing in miracles but buried deep inside,
was mixed with this tiredness.
Then Nesrin became my Nesrin.
ISTANBUL ENCYCLOPEDIA
That balloon was there the day I arrived. Look, I filmed it.
Thanks again for this
special gift.
Just like you.
Thank you.
It helped me a lot to get to know Istanbul.
I hope it helps you not forget it.
And this is Istanbul through my eyes.
I printed it for you.
I remember this.
I'm so glad you came.
So glad you entered my life.
Take care of yourself.
You can come anytime.
Flight number 955 from Cyprus has landed at our airport.
Mom?
You're late.
Nesrin just left.
Nesrin.
You look like her.
I look like you too.
Subtitle translation by: M. Levent Yılmazoğlu