1
00:00:24,904 --> 00:00:27,141
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ♪

2
00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:28,866
♪ Ring-ting-tin-gl-ing too ♪

3
00:00:28,892 --> 00:00:30,117
♪ Tinga linga ling ling. ♪

4
00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:31,524
♪ Come on it's lovely weather ♪

5
00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:34,382
- Please, please no.
♪ for a sleigh ride together with you. ♪

6
00:00:35,394 --> 00:00:39,554
♪ Outside the snow is falling
and friends are calling "Yoo-hoo" ♪

7
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,521
♪ Tinga linga ling ling. ♪

8
00:00:40,561 --> 00:00:41,470
♪ Come on it's... ♪

9
00:00:41,494 --> 00:00:42,384
Think of the children!

10
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:44,871
♪ lovely weather for a sleigh
ride together with you. ♪

11
00:00:45,221 --> 00:00:46,761
Warrgh!

12
00:01:17,962 --> 00:01:21,116
This is it, Joe. This is it.

13
00:01:21,141 --> 00:01:25,436
This is gonna be the perfect Christmas,
just you and me.

14
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:31,276
Nobody else to smile at,
like they did last year, not naming names.

15
00:01:31,301 --> 00:01:32,776
Where was your mum and your sister?

16
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,436
I thought you weren't naming names.

17
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,615
That's not their names.

18
00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:39,096
Come to the pub, you like pubs.

19
00:01:39,121 --> 00:01:41,834
Don't you mean traditional, oldie,

20
00:01:41,854 --> 00:01:47,121
worldie Christmas pubs with lovely,
friendly villagers? I love it.

21
00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:53,599
♪ Ding dong, merrily on high! ♪

22
00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:56,152
♪ In heav'n the bells are ringing; ♪

23
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:58,078
♪ Ding dong, verily the sky ♪

24
00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:00,379
♪ Is riv'n with angel singing. ♪

25
00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:06,522
♪ Gloria... ♪

26
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:08,939
♪ Hosannah in excelsis! ♪

27
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,100
♪ Ding... ♪

28
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:20,424
See, lovely, friendly villagers.

29
00:02:20,449 --> 00:02:25,356
It's more like Christmas village of
the damned, something's going on here.

30
00:02:25,381 --> 00:02:30,556
Nothing's going on,
they're just ordinary, everyday folk.

31
00:02:30,581 --> 00:02:35,950
Silently staring at us with cold contempt.

32
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,916
Duncan, stop it.

33
00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:48,676
Hello there, sorry about the others,
we just don't get many visitors around here.

34
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,820
Gavin, that's enough.

35
00:02:53,301 --> 00:02:55,116
Hello, are you with the Bremer party?

36
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:57,276
Yes, yeah, that's us.

37
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:59,651
Are you the owner of the
luxury cottage in the small...

38
00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:02,196
...but friendly village that
already feels misadvertised?

39
00:03:02,221 --> 00:03:04,020
I am, name's David.

40
00:03:04,702 --> 00:03:08,436
Don't mind them, these people just
need a little lesson in manners.

41
00:03:08,461 --> 00:03:14,356
Come on, let's get you
inserted into the premises.

42
00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:35,676
Bye for now. That was a good start.

43
00:03:35,701 --> 00:03:42,156
I feel we can only grow to
love each other from here on in.

44
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:46,170
And off we go.

45
00:03:57,731 --> 00:04:00,295
Here we go, open the cottage.

46
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:06,196
And this is the kitchen.

47
00:04:06,221 --> 00:04:12,636
Yes, I can create in here.

48
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:15,276
You've certainly got all the bits and bobs.

49
00:04:15,301 --> 00:04:16,756
I've got more than that, David.

50
00:04:16,781 --> 00:04:20,276
I've got backup bits and
a whole spare set of bobs.

51
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:23,196
This is the most important meal of the year.

52
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,356
In fact, I'm gonna start the gravy now.

53
00:04:25,381 --> 00:04:26,796
The bloody gravy.

54
00:04:26,821 --> 00:04:30,996
Gemma, back in our house,
Christmas Day was all about the dinner.

55
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,436
And when we do the turkey,
Auntie Siobhan would do the gravy.

56
00:04:34,461 --> 00:04:37,076
And my nan took her of all the veg.

57
00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:39,916
I'm sorry, and did you want to recreate that?

58
00:04:39,941 --> 00:04:43,676
No, I wanted to do it properly for once.

59
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:47,516
My mom somehow did the
driest turkey in existence.

60
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:48,916
It was inedible.

61
00:04:48,941 --> 00:04:53,860
After dinner, we'd all have to
rehydrate like marathon runners.

62
00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,817
David.

63
00:04:56,842 --> 00:04:59,596
The last guest seemed
to have left the food in the fridge.

64
00:04:59,621 --> 00:05:01,036
No, that's mine.

65
00:05:01,061 --> 00:05:04,035
It's yours?
- Well, yes, of course, I live here.

66
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:07,516
Well, not here, here.
I've got a little granny flat out the back.

67
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:11,076
But there's no room for a kitchen,
sadly, so I'll be popping in and out.

68
00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:12,956
Popping in and out?

69
00:05:12,981 --> 00:05:16,676
It's just that the advert did state
that we would be the sole occupants.

70
00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:20,236
And you are, you are the only family
I'm allowing to stay.

71
00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:23,716
If there was anyone else here,
it would be weird, wouldn't it?

72
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,156
Yeah, yeah, you're right.

73
00:05:26,181 --> 00:05:28,956
Anyone else would create a
very, very weird atmosphere.

74
00:05:28,981 --> 00:05:30,878
And I have to say,
I'm looking forward to...

75
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,356
...what promises to be the
best of all Christmas dinners.

76
00:05:33,381 --> 00:05:37,636
Anyway, I'll let you settle in,
then I'll pop back and plump up

77
00:05:37,661 --> 00:05:39,836
your pillows later,
and help you write your TripAdvisor review.

78
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:47,861
He's just invited himself
to Christmas dinner.

79
00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:51,082
I mean, he's the only friendly
person we've met so far,

80
00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:52,716
but boy has he swung
the other way.

81
00:05:52,741 --> 00:05:56,556
So, where did you put the turkey?

82
00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:57,596
Me, I didn't put it anywhere.

83
00:05:57,621 --> 00:05:59,900
You did?

84
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:05,100
I asked you to pack the turkey, remember?

85
00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:11,697
Ooh, sugar.

86
00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:15,876
I took the turkey out of the fridge, and
then I saw a chocolate mousse in the fridge.

87
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:18,356
And then I ate the chocolate mousse, and then
you were shouting me to hurry up and leave...

88
00:06:18,381 --> 00:06:20,466
and then that's...

89
00:06:20,491 --> 00:06:23,866
I'm so sorry.

90
00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:35,480
So you didn't pack it?

91
00:06:36,242 --> 00:06:39,897
We don't have a turkey for Christmas.

92
00:06:39,922 --> 00:06:41,476
But we've got each other.

93
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:45,676
We've got nothing... nothing.

94
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:48,796
We are gonna be celebrating, nothing mousse.

95
00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:52,716
Or maybe there's a shop in the village.
- "Or maybe there's a shop in the village".

96
00:06:52,741 --> 00:06:57,516
Well, I hope so,
because tomorrow is nothing Miss Eve's Eve.

97
00:06:57,541 --> 00:07:04,140
That's gonna be a pretty tense time
round here, until Auntie Boxing Day.

98
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:09,771
What is it with you and mousse?

99
00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:17,460
Yes, you beauty.

100
00:07:23,741 --> 00:07:28,996
Hello.
It's you.

101
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:33,396
Hiya, can I buy you a turkey please?

102
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:35,556
We haven't got any.

103
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:36,716
Who are those?

104
00:07:36,741 --> 00:07:41,476
They're reserved for people
who are part of the community.

105
00:07:41,501 --> 00:07:43,676
Well, come on, it's Christmas.

106
00:07:43,701 --> 00:07:47,036
You wouldn't condemn us
to Christmas without a turkey.

107
00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:48,636
What would baby Jesus say?

108
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:50,876
They didn't have turkeys in Nazareth.

109
00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:52,583
And he was a baby,
so he wouldn't have said anything.

110
00:07:54,111 --> 00:07:55,156
Please.

111
00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:58,476
Our turkeys are for members
of this community only.

112
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:01,836
Now, if you don't mind,
we're closing early today.

113
00:08:01,861 --> 00:08:04,316
It's the start of the Santathlon.

114
00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:05,900
Santathlon?

115
00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:10,756
Community event,
is it? It is.

116
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:17,316
So if I enter,
I'll be a member of the community, won't I?

117
00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:21,516
I suppose, but you'd have to
win the contest to be accepted.

118
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:24,956
Then you can sell me a turkey.

119
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:26,316
I suppose I would.

120
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:28,516
Right, well, I'm in.

121
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,316
And as you can see,
we've already done the structural work.

122
00:08:32,341 --> 00:08:35,847
Was that a joke?
- It was.

123
00:08:35,872 --> 00:08:37,956
Would it break your
heart if I didn't laugh?

124
00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:40,876
It would have stopped if you had.

125
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:47,076
All right, come on then, tell us everything
that's involved with this Santa thing.

126
00:08:47,101 --> 00:08:49,396
So, what do you think?

127
00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:53,996
I know it was about a rush job,
but I reckon it did all right.

128
00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:57,156
You would tell me if I looked
stupid, wouldn't you?

129
00:08:57,181 --> 00:09:02,916
I think given the time frame, you look as
un-stupid as could be reasonably expected.

130
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:09,977
You know, after I lost my wife,
I wondered why I kept her clothes. But...

131
00:09:10,002 --> 00:09:14,916
now I see them all cut up and
fashioned into a Father Christmas outfit.

132
00:09:14,941 --> 00:09:18,916
Then it all becomes clear.

133
00:09:18,941 --> 00:09:26,941
I'm sure she's looking now and enjoying me,
wearing the cut-up remnants of her life.

134
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:31,876
I remember the Santa
contest when I was a younger man.

135
00:09:31,901 --> 00:09:35,920
It's so silly how seriously they all take it.

136
00:09:37,941 --> 00:09:39,836
Hello?

137
00:09:39,861 --> 00:09:41,756
Good, I'll be right there.

138
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,676
That'll be your washing.

139
00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:44,556
Our washing?

140
00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:46,676
Yes, had a bit of a whiff.

141
00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,956
Wasn't smelling the best,
so I sent it to the laundrette.

142
00:09:48,981 --> 00:09:50,556
But it's ready now.

143
00:09:50,581 --> 00:09:56,356
Just wait till you get your nose into it.

144
00:09:56,381 --> 00:09:58,796
He's been sniffing our clothes.

145
00:09:58,821 --> 00:10:02,476
Are we comfortable with that?

146
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:06,036
I look stupid,
don't I? I knew it.

147
00:10:06,061 --> 00:10:09,239
- Well, I didn't want to say anything.
- It's because you haven't got a beard.

148
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:11,276
Yeah, that's it.

149
00:10:11,301 --> 00:10:13,956
Not everything else.

150
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,396
Aye, maybe I can force a beard out.

151
00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:20,556
No need?

152
00:10:20,581 --> 00:10:22,396
We could use my wig.

153
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:23,476
What are you doing with her?

154
00:10:23,501 --> 00:10:29,436
I got a sexy elf outfit to
surprise you with on Christmas morning.

155
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:31,076
There you go.

156
00:10:32,821 --> 00:10:34,956
Shall I pull it off?

157
00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:37,036
You're going to blow on the way.

158
00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:45,061
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

159
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:49,196
I'm here for the Santa thing.

160
00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:51,796
It's not immediately obvious.

161
00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:54,676
This is your entry.

162
00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:59,156
I've been told given the timeline that
there's a very festive unstupidity about me.

163
00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:00,516
Let him enter in it.

164
00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:03,156
It's my year anyway,
put on three stone for this.

165
00:11:03,181 --> 00:11:05,356
You might as well give me the trophy now.

166
00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:07,036
Done this before, have we?

167
00:11:07,061 --> 00:11:08,876
Done this before, he asks.

168
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:12,104
I've got seven runners-up
rosettes that tell you I have,

169
00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:14,396
and they spell out
nothing but winner.

170
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:16,836
Do they not spell out runner-up?

171
00:11:16,861 --> 00:11:19,916
Robert, there's a reason
we all call you bridesmaid.

172
00:11:19,941 --> 00:11:23,876
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

173
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:27,156
Well, actually, joke's on you, because
I know what you call me behind my back.

174
00:11:27,181 --> 00:11:30,236
But I choose not to get riled
up, making me the victor.

175
00:11:30,261 --> 00:11:32,596
Very mature.

176
00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:33,646
But that's not the only thing...

177
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:35,876
...that's been going on behind
bridesmaid's back, is it? John, don't.

178
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:39,076
He might not know about it.

179
00:11:39,101 --> 00:11:40,676
I know, Bella.

180
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:43,356
I know you've been having an
affair with my Sandra the whole time.

181
00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:46,636
It's only my fear of being left
alone that kept me from speaking up.

182
00:11:46,661 --> 00:11:50,996
So once again, you're making
yourself look pretty foolish, buddy.

183
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:52,476
You're right, bridesmaid.

184
00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:54,236
I look really stupid.

185
00:11:54,261 --> 00:11:55,876
This is gold.

186
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:59,676
And the joke's on Sandra as well,
because while you were having sex with her,

187
00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:02,916
you were also having sex with a couple of
the other wives in the village, weren't you?

188
00:12:02,941 --> 00:12:05,876
So I married someone, it turns out,
who isn't very special at all.

189
00:12:05,901 --> 00:12:07,876
Another win for me.

190
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:08,956
Now, now, bridesmaid.

191
00:12:08,981 --> 00:12:10,236
You just made my list.

192
00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:11,636
What list might that be?

193
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:15,236
- The naughty or the nice list?
- Shut up, Jim.

194
00:12:15,261 --> 00:12:16,156
Yes, shut up, Jim.

195
00:12:16,181 --> 00:12:17,676
All right, easy there, big dogs.

196
00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:19,196
Let's not get too feisty.

197
00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:21,916
I don't want to have to start
cracking heads together.

198
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,076
Laughing up.

199
00:12:23,101 --> 00:12:26,476
But as your local policeman,
I think it's only fair to remind

200
00:12:26,501 --> 00:12:30,116
you, I have been on the official
police head-cracking course.

201
00:12:30,141 --> 00:12:32,236
Yes, come on, boys.

202
00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,596
You're ruining the competition.

203
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:38,956
Maybe I might win this year just once.

204
00:12:38,981 --> 00:12:41,676
Ho, ho, ho.

205
00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:44,116
I said sadness and anger.

206
00:12:44,141 --> 00:12:48,796
Surely not on this,
the celebration of winter solstice.

207
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:52,186
This year,
I am Centaur Clausenhof,

208
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:56,821
a traditional,
authentic Scandinavian version...

209
00:12:57,505 --> 00:13:03,174
of what you may know as...
Santa Claus.

210
00:13:06,381 --> 00:13:09,236
And what might your name be, good man?

211
00:13:09,261 --> 00:13:13,676
Centaun Clausenhof is often
accompanied by Nekt Ruprecht,

212
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:18,236
which translates as servant Rupert,
the empty-headed helper.

213
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:22,160
A festive fool for us all to enjoy.

214
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,076
Right, attention, everyone.

215
00:13:26,101 --> 00:13:30,060
Let us begin with the first challenge.

216
00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:39,461
And a special thank you to Bella and Duncan
for making the pub look so lovely this year.

217
00:13:40,381 --> 00:13:42,316
Shut up, you lot.

218
00:13:42,341 --> 00:13:44,156
I didn't do much at all.

219
00:13:44,181 --> 00:13:48,356
Duncan, Duncan decorated.

220
00:13:48,381 --> 00:13:54,380
And now, for the gift giving.

221
00:13:54,821 --> 00:14:02,443
You will all be judged by your
kindness when giving your gift to...

222
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,676
the child.

223
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:09,178
And your ho, ho, ho,
which we expect to be fully-chested...

224
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:11,356
...and brimming
with festive cheer.

225
00:14:11,381 --> 00:14:14,756
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

226
00:14:14,781 --> 00:14:22,781
Excuse me, wouldn't it be a bit more
Christmassy if we used an actual child?

227
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:34,529
There are no children in the village,
so this is how we do it.

228
00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:35,836
Right, I'll start then, shall I?

229
00:14:35,861 --> 00:14:39,916
Set the bar for the other Santa's.

230
00:14:39,941 --> 00:14:47,440
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

231
00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:55,036
Beard removal, point off.

232
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,956
Medical emergency, point reinstated.

233
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:59,516
We go over this every year, Robert.

234
00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:02,916
Right, I'm deducting another point
for arguing with the competition official.

235
00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:03,916
Move to appeal the ruling.

236
00:15:03,941 --> 00:15:06,490
Denied.

237
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,916
Right, you next.

238
00:15:12,941 --> 00:15:14,916
The outsider.

239
00:15:14,941 --> 00:15:22,916
Outsider, outsider, outsider,
outsider, outsider, outsider.

240
00:15:22,941 --> 00:15:26,916
I'm only here to persuade
her to sell me a turkey.

241
00:15:26,941 --> 00:15:29,916
And begin.

242
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:32,916
Ho, ho, ho.

243
00:15:32,941 --> 00:15:37,916
I wonder what could be in this
box, fiberglass boy.

244
00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:42,440
Hang on, something's leaking from here.

245
00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:53,440
It's going to be that kind of
Christmas, isn't it?

246
00:16:05,941 --> 00:16:06,916
Yeah, you just stay there.

247
00:16:06,941 --> 00:16:10,916
They might want to go over you,
see if you've got any of Gavin's head on you.

248
00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:14,916
Martin Buford,
I'm the law around these parts.

249
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:15,916
Right.

250
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:19,916
You don't seem bothered about
a decapitated head in the village.

251
00:16:19,941 --> 00:16:21,916
We're a rural community.

252
00:16:21,941 --> 00:16:23,916
We have all manner of accidents around here.

253
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,916
Farm machinery is notoriously brutal.

254
00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:27,916
Yeah.

255
00:16:27,941 --> 00:16:32,469
It's just difficult to imagine a hay
bale of cutting off a man's head,

256
00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:36,916
gift wrapping it, then leaving it
on the present pile in the local pub.

257
00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:42,916
You never know, you know, advances in
modern technology, AI and all that.

258
00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:44,916
We're a tight little community.

259
00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:46,916
We never have any trouble here.

260
00:16:46,941 --> 00:16:49,916
Unless you want a turkey.

261
00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:54,916
Yes, you've met my Annette then.

262
00:16:54,941 --> 00:16:56,916
She's very set in her ways.

263
00:16:56,941 --> 00:16:59,916
God knows being married to
her is a trial unto itself.

264
00:16:59,941 --> 00:17:02,916
But she loves this village
more than me, I think.

265
00:17:02,941 --> 00:17:04,916
They said you killed him, yeah?

266
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,916
Or have I got time to make my escape?

267
00:17:06,941 --> 00:17:11,440
Just leave me alone, Jim, for God's sake.

268
00:17:17,941 --> 00:17:19,916
She'll be terribly upset.

269
00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,916
Gavin was her first husband, you know.

270
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:27,916
Apparently better in the bedroom than me,
but not as emotionally malleable.

271
00:17:27,941 --> 00:17:30,940
Or so she says, anyway.

272
00:17:32,941 --> 00:17:35,916
What are you doing?

273
00:17:35,941 --> 00:17:37,916
Tidying, Duncan.

274
00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:42,916
We've got lunches to serve tomorrow,
and I can't be slipping on blood

275
00:17:42,941 --> 00:17:48,916
and what looks like it might be a
little bit of... Spine.

276
00:17:48,941 --> 00:17:55,916
Yeah, Bella, I'm guessing the forensics guys
might not be keen on you hoovering up the...

277
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:59,916
I want to say evidence,
but... Yeah.

278
00:17:59,941 --> 00:18:01,916
Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.

279
00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:03,250
Destroying evidence,

280
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:07,916
all the police college training coming
back to me now, is frowned upon.

281
00:18:07,941 --> 00:18:09,916
And illegal.

282
00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:11,916
Or so I'd recall.

283
00:18:11,941 --> 00:18:13,916
Poor Gavin's head.

284
00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:16,916
Who could have done this?

285
00:18:16,941 --> 00:18:21,069
Speaking as an experienced
officer of the law,

286
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:24,941
I'd say there's
one very obvious suspect.

287
00:18:25,941 --> 00:18:27,916
Me?

288
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,916
I'm not vaguely suspicious.

289
00:18:29,941 --> 00:18:33,916
What's that beard made out of?

290
00:18:33,941 --> 00:18:36,916
Sexy half-wick.

291
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,916
I see your point.

292
00:18:38,941 --> 00:18:42,916
You're an outsider, and isn't it
interesting that before you arrived,

293
00:18:42,941 --> 00:18:45,916
every single member of this
village still had their heads attached?

294
00:18:45,941 --> 00:18:49,916
It was you who tried to give
Gavin's head to the fiberglass child.

295
00:18:49,941 --> 00:18:52,916
I bet your fingerprints are
all over that wrapping paper.

296
00:18:52,941 --> 00:18:55,916
Yeah, because I picked up the presents.

297
00:18:55,941 --> 00:19:01,916
You should be dusting the wrapping paper
to see who else's fingerprints are on there.

298
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,916
The wrapping paper?

299
00:19:03,941 --> 00:19:06,916
I threw it on the fire.

300
00:19:06,941 --> 00:19:08,916
Was it important?

301
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,916
Nevertheless, I've got my eyes on you.

302
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:17,916
If there's even one more murder,
well, I'll be best pleased.

303
00:19:17,941 --> 00:19:20,916
Right.

304
00:19:20,941 --> 00:19:23,916
Is it dangerous around here now, Martin?

305
00:19:23,941 --> 00:19:28,916
It's just that my Duncan
locks up the pub on his own.

306
00:19:28,941 --> 00:19:31,916
It takes an ever so long.

307
00:19:31,941 --> 00:19:36,916
He's got bad eyesight and sausage fingers.

308
00:19:36,941 --> 00:19:40,916
It's a terrible combination
for piddly padlocks.

309
00:19:40,941 --> 00:19:45,916
I used to enjoy sausage
fingers when we were courting.

310
00:19:45,941 --> 00:19:47,916
But what if they become the death of him?

311
00:19:47,941 --> 00:19:49,916
It's all right. Nothing to worry about.

312
00:19:49,941 --> 00:19:53,916
Now that I've given Terry a good warning,
I'm sure there won't be any more killing.

313
00:19:53,941 --> 00:19:58,916
After all, one murder is
unlucky, two that's unheard of.

314
00:19:58,941 --> 00:20:03,916
Right, I'll leave you
lot to your piddly bits.

315
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,916
I'll see you at the Santa parade tomorrow.

316
00:20:06,941 --> 00:20:09,916
Yeah, Annette told me all about it.

317
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:11,916
How seriously are we taking this thing?

318
00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:14,916
I've been building my sleigh
for the last six months.

319
00:20:14,941 --> 00:20:16,916
How about you?

320
00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:21,440
I'm still at the pre-designed sleigh.

321
00:20:22,941 --> 00:20:28,916
There's been
a murder? Yes.

322
00:20:28,941 --> 00:20:31,916
A Santa's been
beheaded? Yep.

323
00:20:31,941 --> 00:20:33,916
The one with no children?

324
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:34,916
Correct again.

325
00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:36,916
Where everyone's weird,
they all hate us and there's tons of secrets.

326
00:20:36,941 --> 00:20:39,916
I'm running out of ways to say yes.

327
00:20:39,941 --> 00:20:41,916
God, I love it.

328
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:42,916
Good.

329
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,916
Well, now can I get on with
peeling the veg, please?

330
00:20:44,941 --> 00:20:49,916
Because the only thing that can
erase the image of that severed-blooded

331
00:20:49,941 --> 00:20:52,916
head from my mind is the creation
of a perfectly balanced gravy.

332
00:20:52,941 --> 00:20:54,916
What's the Wi-Fi password?

333
00:20:54,941 --> 00:20:55,916
Who wants to lock this place up?

334
00:20:55,941 --> 00:20:58,916
Wi-Fi coming up,
just give me your phone, Gemma.

335
00:20:58,941 --> 00:21:01,916
Have you just been waiting outside?

336
00:21:01,941 --> 00:21:02,916
No, no, no.

337
00:21:02,941 --> 00:21:07,916
I just happen to be passing
very, very slowly.

338
00:21:07,941 --> 00:21:10,916
So they've killed a Santa.

339
00:21:10,941 --> 00:21:13,916
Just a matter of time the way they go on.

340
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:16,916
Terry, let's solve this one.

341
00:21:16,941 --> 00:21:18,916
What have we got so far?

342
00:21:18,941 --> 00:21:21,916
So far, I've got the bears for the gravy.

343
00:21:21,941 --> 00:21:24,916
Terry, focus.

344
00:21:24,941 --> 00:21:26,916
We have to get in amongst it.

345
00:21:26,941 --> 00:21:29,916
There's a case to be cracked
and we have to crack it.

346
00:21:29,941 --> 00:21:33,916
The thing is, Gemma, we don't.

347
00:21:33,941 --> 00:21:35,916
We don't have to.

348
00:21:35,941 --> 00:21:38,916
This is what we always do.

349
00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:41,916
Let's solve a murder before
the wedding ceremony.

350
00:21:41,941 --> 00:21:44,916
Let's solve a murder before
the end of the court's tour.

351
00:21:44,941 --> 00:21:49,916
Let's solve a murder before the
very saint drowning all of us on board.

352
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:51,916
Well, not this time.

353
00:21:51,941 --> 00:21:52,916
Yes.

354
00:21:52,941 --> 00:21:54,916
So the village is weird.

355
00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:55,916
So what?

356
00:21:55,941 --> 00:21:56,916
Just let them be.

357
00:21:56,941 --> 00:22:01,916
I'm just going to be here making this dinner
and then we are going to eat this dinner.

358
00:22:01,941 --> 00:22:03,916
And then let's just go home.

359
00:22:03,941 --> 00:22:05,916
We're not getting involved.

360
00:22:05,941 --> 00:22:11,916
Yeah, you're right.

361
00:22:11,941 --> 00:22:13,916
Really? I was right.

362
00:22:13,941 --> 00:22:17,916
We're not getting involved.

363
00:22:17,941 --> 00:22:19,916
This time, sod the restroom.

364
00:22:19,941 --> 00:22:20,916
It's me and you.

365
00:22:20,941 --> 00:22:23,916
We are going to have a fabulous Christmas.

366
00:22:23,941 --> 00:22:25,916
Nothing.

367
00:22:25,941 --> 00:22:26,916
Yeah, yeah.

368
00:22:26,941 --> 00:22:27,916
Forgot about that bit.

369
00:22:27,941 --> 00:22:28,916
Tell you what.

370
00:22:28,941 --> 00:22:30,916
I'm going to help you win this competition.

371
00:22:30,941 --> 00:22:35,916
Then you can get your turkey
and you can solve a little mood.

372
00:22:35,941 --> 00:22:36,916
Great.

373
00:22:36,941 --> 00:22:38,916
Nothing is going to stop us.

374
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:39,916
Laser focused, Albie.

375
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:40,916
Just you watch.

376
00:22:40,941 --> 00:22:41,916
Yeah? Good.

377
00:22:41,941 --> 00:22:45,916
Because we've got about eight hours to
build a convincing sleigh for the parade.

378
00:22:45,941 --> 00:22:47,916
We'll do it in six.

379
00:22:47,941 --> 00:22:50,916
Gemma, some of these
pictures are very naughty.

380
00:22:50,941 --> 00:22:52,441
What?

381
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:56,940
I'd get them all checked out.

382
00:23:16,971 --> 00:23:19,446
Just focus, Duncan.

383
00:23:19,471 --> 00:23:23,916
I've cleaned the rat traps and
scraped all the grease out of the fryer.

384
00:23:23,941 --> 00:23:28,447
Done the VAT, redesigned the
menus and done a full stock take.

385
00:23:28,472 --> 00:23:31,916
So you just have to focus
on this parade, babes.

386
00:23:31,941 --> 00:23:33,916
Go, Duncan!

387
00:23:33,941 --> 00:23:34,916
Wow!

388
00:23:34,941 --> 00:23:41,916
Susan, no giving out sweets,
drinks or bribes of any kind.

389
00:23:41,941 --> 00:23:42,916
Roll in, Brisbane.

390
00:23:42,941 --> 00:23:44,916
To Dr. Poy.

391
00:23:44,941 --> 00:23:45,916
I'm just spreading cheer.

392
00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:48,916
Here Susan, please stay up on the diary.

393
00:23:48,941 --> 00:23:49,916
Here you go.

394
00:23:49,941 --> 00:23:51,916
Suck on that one.

395
00:23:51,941 --> 00:23:55,916
Gemma, can we avoid the bumps, please?

396
00:23:55,941 --> 00:23:57,916
I am trying, Terry.

397
00:23:57,941 --> 00:24:00,916
If it makes your belly shake like a ball
full of jelly, maybe we'll get extra points.

398
00:24:00,941 --> 00:24:03,916
Susan, are there belly points?

399
00:24:03,941 --> 00:24:05,916
I think I've earned belly points.

400
00:24:05,941 --> 00:24:07,916
What about me, Susan?

401
00:24:07,941 --> 00:24:09,916
It's Adele to get extra points.

402
00:24:09,941 --> 00:24:10,916
Look.

403
00:24:10,941 --> 00:24:11,916
I'm an elf.

404
00:24:11,941 --> 00:24:12,916
Are you? Yes.

405
00:24:12,941 --> 00:24:14,916
It's a funny story.

406
00:24:14,941 --> 00:24:16,916
Ordered a sexy elf costume.

407
00:24:16,941 --> 00:24:18,916
Thought I'd get the XXX version.

408
00:24:18,941 --> 00:24:19,916
Yeah.

409
00:24:19,941 --> 00:24:20,916
More sexy.

410
00:24:20,941 --> 00:24:22,916
Don't doubt it was the size.

411
00:24:22,941 --> 00:24:25,916
You're stupid.

412
00:24:25,941 --> 00:24:27,916
You don't look stupid.

413
00:24:27,941 --> 00:24:29,916
Rec, rue, prac, soffit, trolley.

414
00:24:29,941 --> 00:24:32,916
You're really keeping up with this
empty-headed thing, huh? Brilliant.

415
00:24:32,941 --> 00:24:35,916
You look so stupid.

416
00:24:35,941 --> 00:24:38,916
Mold won't rule.

417
00:24:38,941 --> 00:24:42,916
Who says we can't have a
little tipple at Christmas?

418
00:24:42,941 --> 00:24:44,916
Rule in, Christmas.

419
00:24:44,941 --> 00:24:46,916
Rule in, Christmas.

420
00:24:46,941 --> 00:24:49,916
The only rule in life, Robert, is having fun.

421
00:24:49,941 --> 00:24:51,916
I'm going to get one of them mold wines.

422
00:24:51,941 --> 00:24:54,916
I need fluids after pushing you.

423
00:24:54,941 --> 00:24:57,916
It's like a festive Luca's head sport.

424
00:24:57,941 --> 00:24:58,916
I'll have a wine, please.

425
00:24:58,941 --> 00:25:00,916
Help yourself.

426
00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:07,916
You okay?

427
00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:11,916
Have a bit more wine.

428
00:25:11,941 --> 00:25:13,916
He's gone down the wrong way.

429
00:25:13,941 --> 00:25:16,916
That's it.

430
00:25:16,941 --> 00:25:20,916
Yeah.

431
00:25:20,941 --> 00:25:21,916
Come on.

432
00:25:21,941 --> 00:25:24,218
This happens
all the time with Terry...

433
00:25:24,238 --> 00:25:27,916
...when he's trying to eat a mini
sausage roll without chewing.

434
00:25:27,941 --> 00:25:31,916
The last time, Gemma,
they're not a chew compulsory treat.

435
00:25:32,941 --> 00:25:36,916
Dear.

436
00:25:36,941 --> 00:25:37,916
Dear.

437
00:25:37,941 --> 00:25:45,941
Bloody hell.

438
00:25:46,941 --> 00:25:48,916
This isn't joking.

439
00:25:48,941 --> 00:25:50,916
He's been poisoned.

440
00:25:50,941 --> 00:25:53,916
Holy event, we have a Santa.

441
00:25:53,941 --> 00:25:54,916
Down.

442
00:25:54,941 --> 00:25:57,916
My God.

443
00:25:57,941 --> 00:25:58,916
He's dead.

444
00:25:58,941 --> 00:26:02,916
That's got to be a point deduction.

445
00:26:02,941 --> 00:26:03,916
Are you serious?

446
00:26:03,941 --> 00:26:04,916
No, you're right.

447
00:26:04,941 --> 00:26:06,376
Disqualification.

448
00:26:06,401 --> 00:26:10,151
You can't argue with the logic.

449
00:26:29,899 --> 00:26:31,505
What do you want?

450
00:26:31,530 --> 00:26:34,529
Just saw you sat here looking...

451
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:37,124
I want to say I'm great.

452
00:26:37,149 --> 00:26:41,164
I'm grieving for a very dear, close friend.

453
00:26:41,189 --> 00:26:42,694
Grieving?

454
00:26:42,719 --> 00:26:45,694
Wow, that is not coming across at all.

455
00:26:45,719 --> 00:26:48,694
Some people flail about in tears.

456
00:26:48,719 --> 00:26:52,694
I prefer to enjoy a cold
stillness when I grieve.

457
00:26:52,719 --> 00:26:56,694
Yeah, there's a terrifying frostiness.

458
00:26:56,719 --> 00:26:57,694
Frostiness.

459
00:26:57,719 --> 00:26:58,694
That's it.

460
00:26:58,719 --> 00:26:59,694
Thank you.

461
00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:01,694
It's been bothering me
for years what that is.

462
00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:06,218
You have a terrifying frostiness.

463
00:27:11,809 --> 00:27:15,515
I might go and do some police-y stuff.

464
00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:18,083
Not because I've made
Annette angry,

465
00:27:18,103 --> 00:27:22,694
but more as a result of me making
Annette angry, which is better.

466
00:27:22,719 --> 00:27:24,219
Love you.

467
00:27:24,399 --> 00:27:28,076
Hat still counts.

468
00:27:29,718 --> 00:27:36,185
So, looks like John might have
been poisoned by his own mulled wine.

469
00:27:36,210 --> 00:27:38,694
Any idea who made the mulled wine?
- He did.

470
00:27:38,719 --> 00:27:42,694
Forever on about his
bloody mulled wine.

471
00:27:42,719 --> 00:27:44,694
Family recipe, he'd say.

472
00:27:44,719 --> 00:27:46,694
But we all knew he bought it pre-made.

473
00:27:46,719 --> 00:27:48,694
I hate the stuff.

474
00:27:48,719 --> 00:27:49,694
It stinks.

475
00:27:49,719 --> 00:27:51,694
It does, doesn't it?

476
00:27:51,719 --> 00:27:54,694
It's like a sort of Christmas-y B.O.

477
00:27:54,719 --> 00:27:58,694
Speaking of B.O.,
where's your sweaty husband?

478
00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:00,694
Come on, parsnips.

479
00:28:00,719 --> 00:28:01,694
Parboil.

480
00:28:01,719 --> 00:28:04,718
Parboil!

481
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:09,195
The bloody cooker's gone off.

482
00:28:09,220 --> 00:28:10,254
David!

483
00:28:10,279 --> 00:28:12,996
Yes, was just passing and
heard you the cooker, Right.

484
00:28:13,021 --> 00:28:15,094
It'll be the fuse box
probably tripped out.

485
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,694
Well, can you trip it in?
- Will do. It'll take a while.

486
00:28:17,719 --> 00:28:19,694
It's in the cupboard where
I keep all the guest stuff.

487
00:28:19,719 --> 00:28:22,694
You know, the usual toothbrushes,
linens, all that sort of jazz.

488
00:28:22,719 --> 00:28:25,713
Can you get me a new toothbrush
while you're in there? I forgot mine.

489
00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:26,794
They're not new.

490
00:28:26,819 --> 00:28:29,625
I keep the old ones.
As mementos.

491
00:28:29,650 --> 00:28:33,399
Tell you what,
I'll run one under the tap, if you like.

492
00:28:35,999 --> 00:28:38,564
Hello, Martin.
Come in.

493
00:28:39,709 --> 00:28:42,684
Mr. Brenner, I'm here on official business.

494
00:28:42,709 --> 00:28:44,164
Hence the hat?

495
00:28:44,189 --> 00:28:46,694
Yes, the hat.
I want to ask you a few questions.

496
00:28:46,719 --> 00:28:49,694
Well, as long as it's not
regarding my parsnips.

497
00:28:49,719 --> 00:28:50,694
Ask of it.

498
00:28:50,719 --> 00:28:55,825
After John died,
you left the scene pretty sharpish.

499
00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:56,874
Why would that be?

500
00:28:56,899 --> 00:29:00,424
Well, to tell you the truth,
I don't like the sight of dead Santas.

501
00:29:00,449 --> 00:29:03,144
Of course, I needed to be
getting back to me culinary prep.

502
00:29:03,169 --> 00:29:06,150
Because unfortunately,
we are not yet living...

503
00:29:06,170 --> 00:29:09,474
...in the world of the
self-par-boiling vegetable.

504
00:29:09,499 --> 00:29:13,316
As far as I'm concerned,
you are the number one suspect in this case.

505
00:29:13,341 --> 00:29:14,204
Me?

506
00:29:14,229 --> 00:29:16,515
Still, why?

507
00:29:16,540 --> 00:29:19,415
You're not from around these parts.

508
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,194
You're just not.

509
00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:24,395
And that's all you've got to go on?

510
00:29:24,420 --> 00:29:26,603
You want to win this Santaflon pretty bad.

511
00:29:26,628 --> 00:29:30,434
Maybe badly enough to start
killing off the other competitors.

512
00:29:30,459 --> 00:29:33,784
No, what I want, Martin, is a turkey.

513
00:29:33,809 --> 00:29:38,336
Now, believe it or not, the possibility
of celebrating a Christmas without one...

514
00:29:38,361 --> 00:29:40,694
is not enough to turn me homicidal.

515
00:29:40,719 --> 00:29:45,504
Can you confirm where you were
at the time of John's death?

516
00:29:45,529 --> 00:29:51,604
Yes. I was in a shopping
trolley right next to you.

517
00:29:51,629 --> 00:29:53,085
Right.

518
00:29:53,110 --> 00:29:56,935
That's a shame, because I've got
quite a few follow-up questions...

519
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,485
that were heavily dependent
on you saying no.

520
00:30:00,510 --> 00:30:06,785
Right, well, just be aware,
I am watching you like a hawk.

521
00:30:06,810 --> 00:30:10,034
Hello? Hello? Can I come in?

522
00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:12,279
You might as well, everybody else is.

523
00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:16,265
All right?
- Not really.

524
00:30:16,290 --> 00:30:18,694
I got parsnips at
room temperature.

525
00:30:18,719 --> 00:30:21,044
It's every chef's worst nightmare come true.

526
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:25,345
I might know something about these
murders that you might be interested in.

527
00:30:25,370 --> 00:30:28,395
I think I should probably
stay for this, yeah?

528
00:30:28,420 --> 00:30:31,495
Listen out for some clues.

529
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,044
Are you asking me or telling me?

530
00:30:34,069 --> 00:30:36,693
I think both.

531
00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:42,945
- And why are you asking me
all these questions? - Sorry.

532
00:30:42,970 --> 00:30:44,694
Sorry, it's a force of habit.

533
00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:47,694
I'm Gemma Bremer from Bremer Investigations.

534
00:30:47,719 --> 00:30:49,294
We catch killers.

535
00:30:49,319 --> 00:30:50,644
Eventually.

536
00:30:50,669 --> 00:30:52,694
Well, there have been two deaths so far.

537
00:30:52,719 --> 00:30:56,545
How many more can we expect before
you eventually figure out who's doing it?

538
00:30:56,570 --> 00:30:58,694
We're not involved.

539
00:30:58,719 --> 00:31:00,694
Not in this case.
We're just here on our Christmas holes.

540
00:31:00,719 --> 00:31:05,854
Terry would kill me if he thought I was
here mooching around asking questions.

541
00:31:05,879 --> 00:31:09,794
But you do seem particularly
upset about John.

542
00:31:09,819 --> 00:31:14,894
More than the level of upset someone
would feel for just a friend, for example.

543
00:31:14,919 --> 00:31:17,594
so you're thinking I was
having an affair with John?

544
00:31:17,619 --> 00:31:20,618
What? No!

545
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:21,954
And a little bit, yes.

546
00:31:21,979 --> 00:31:25,507
Gemma, this is the countryside.
We're all having affairs.

547
00:31:25,532 --> 00:31:29,394
John was handsome, kind
and masterful in the bedroom.

548
00:31:29,419 --> 00:31:31,475
So why do you think I'd want to kill him?

549
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:35,194
Mmmmm... because he wanted to end it?

550
00:31:35,219 --> 00:31:37,540
He didn't want to end it.
If he hadn't died,

551
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,987
we'd be at it like rutting
reindeer right now.

552
00:31:41,718 --> 00:31:44,694
Gavin, he was the first victim.

553
00:31:44,719 --> 00:31:46,694
He was your first husband as well, wasn't he?

554
00:31:46,719 --> 00:31:50,994
Yes, until I got bored of him
and had an affair with Roy.

555
00:31:51,019 --> 00:31:53,694
Then I got bored of him,
had an affair with Ed.

556
00:31:53,719 --> 00:31:55,219
Bored?

557
00:31:55,399 --> 00:31:58,694
Had a little thing with Mandy,
but she was very annoying.

558
00:31:58,719 --> 00:32:05,024
Then there was Andy, Peter, Jason.

559
00:32:05,049 --> 00:32:09,694
Then another Andy, Martin for a while,
then I decided to marry him.

560
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:13,207
Then I got bored of him
and started an affair with John.

561
00:32:13,232 --> 00:32:15,303
I suppose I'll have to look elsewhere now.

562
00:32:15,328 --> 00:32:17,528
Aren't you worried that
Martin would find out?

563
00:32:17,553 --> 00:32:20,694
Martin? The defective detective?

564
00:32:20,719 --> 00:32:25,218
I don't think he's ever found
out anything about anything.

565
00:32:27,093 --> 00:32:28,855
So what have you found out so far?

566
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,875
God, yeah, that'd be good to know.

567
00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:35,694
You know, frosty reception,
bizarre Father Christmas ritual.

568
00:32:35,719 --> 00:32:38,627
A village that likes to
hold its turkeys to ransom.

569
00:32:38,652 --> 00:32:41,834
Ha! That's the tip of the iceberg,
I'm afraid.

570
00:32:41,859 --> 00:32:43,694
I know everything.

571
00:32:43,719 --> 00:32:45,154
I've lived here all my life.

572
00:32:45,179 --> 00:32:47,905
Worked for most of them from time to time.

573
00:32:47,930 --> 00:32:51,114
Although they seem to like
to sack me after a few weeks.

574
00:32:51,139 --> 00:32:52,794
Ungrateful prats.

575
00:32:52,819 --> 00:32:54,533
Does that sound like a grudge?

576
00:32:54,558 --> 00:32:57,180
You're coming off very grudgy at the minute.
- Right.

577
00:32:57,205 --> 00:32:58,694
And they don't laugh at my jokes.

578
00:32:58,719 --> 00:33:02,694
I made a particularly good headless
Santa one earlier that got nothing.

579
00:33:02,719 --> 00:33:06,894
I don't think it's the material.
I think it's that you're very unlikable.

580
00:33:06,919 --> 00:33:09,067
That's Susan. She's the worst.

581
00:33:09,092 --> 00:33:10,694
She is, isn't she?

582
00:33:10,719 --> 00:33:14,504
She's got a very spiteful face as well,
to my mind.

583
00:33:14,529 --> 00:33:19,984
She rules over that Santa competition
like she's Queen of the North Pole.

584
00:33:20,009 --> 00:33:22,004
Does the North Pole have a queen?

585
00:33:22,029 --> 00:33:24,265
Is it a principality per se?

586
00:33:24,290 --> 00:33:27,694
Or is it short for the North of Poland?

587
00:33:27,719 --> 00:33:32,218
And should I also write that down?

588
00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:36,637
All I'm saying is,
you'd do well to keep an eye on her.

589
00:33:36,662 --> 00:33:42,308
Keep. An. Eye. On. Her.

590
00:33:42,333 --> 00:33:47,201
Who?

591
00:34:16,718 --> 00:34:18,694
I'm worried it will be me next.

592
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,526
Not letting anyone know
this if I was alive or dead.

593
00:34:21,551 --> 00:34:23,895
He's right about that. Very true.

594
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,178
Yeah, lovely.

595
00:34:25,203 --> 00:34:27,694
God. Open up all the wine, Terry.

596
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,694
We are getting sloshed tonight.

597
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,694
And you might want to put a
towel on me when we go to bed.

598
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,718
We'll be a leaky one.

599
00:34:36,929 --> 00:34:39,305
We're at that point in our relationship.

600
00:34:39,330 --> 00:34:43,694
You're never going to let...
Hello there.

601
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,694
You sleep in the same bed.

602
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,042
Annette won't let me sleep in the same room.

603
00:34:48,067 --> 00:34:49,602
She sleepwalks, you see.

604
00:34:49,627 --> 00:34:51,522
Gone for hours sometimes.

605
00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:56,044
John was often good enough to find
her and drop her off back at home for me.

606
00:34:56,069 --> 00:35:00,043
Great bloke. I really miss him.

607
00:35:01,427 --> 00:35:03,962
Remember what I told you?

608
00:35:03,987 --> 00:35:06,584
It's not safe out there.

609
00:35:07,931 --> 00:35:09,694
He's right. It's not.

610
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,732
Actually, could you walk me home?

611
00:35:11,757 --> 00:35:13,118
I'm feeling a bit scared.

612
00:35:13,143 --> 00:35:16,558
Hang on. You're meant to be the copper here.

613
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:18,949
Protecting the community.

614
00:35:20,639 --> 00:35:23,618
Fine. Come on, then.

615
00:35:23,643 --> 00:35:28,234
Right, well, I think I've learned
all that I'm capable of here today.

616
00:35:28,259 --> 00:35:30,784
But remember, Terry, "like a hawk".

617
00:35:30,809 --> 00:35:33,373
A police hawk.

618
00:35:37,713 --> 00:35:42,082
Umphf.
What did they want?

619
00:35:42,107 --> 00:35:44,185
To warm me, I think.

620
00:35:44,210 --> 00:35:47,684
I'm just not focused right now.

621
00:35:47,709 --> 00:35:49,694
They think Susan's the murderer.

622
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,694
The competition woman with the clipboard.

623
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:54,281
Could be.

624
00:35:54,306 --> 00:35:59,707
Good job Martin's looking after this one.
- The defective detective.

625
00:35:59,732 --> 00:36:01,221
It's a good cover for a killer.

626
00:36:01,246 --> 00:36:05,605
You what?
- What? Yes, it is. Good.

627
00:36:05,630 --> 00:36:07,694
Just let it all happen.

628
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,854
Not getting involved.
- Nope.

629
00:36:09,879 --> 00:36:13,947
Good. Because I'm enjoying being a bystander.
I've never bystander before.

630
00:36:13,972 --> 00:36:16,694
It's surprising how little energy it takes.

631
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,718
Yeah. Now.

632
00:36:20,443 --> 00:36:22,752
Did I hear you mention wine?
- No.

633
00:36:22,777 --> 00:36:24,778
You heard you mention wine.

634
00:36:24,803 --> 00:36:27,444
Well, let's stop mentioning it.

635
00:36:27,469 --> 00:36:29,193
And let's start drinking it.

636
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:33,744
And then this oversized sexy
Christmas elf costume is coming off.

637
00:36:33,769 --> 00:36:36,245
And you might get lucky.

638
00:36:36,270 --> 00:36:41,054
Besides the inevitable loss of life
that seems to constantly surround us...

639
00:36:41,079 --> 00:36:46,059
this is turning into our best Christmas ever.

640
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:48,694
Who's that now?

641
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,241
It's probably David.

642
00:36:50,266 --> 00:36:53,354
Come to, I don't know,
sample our DNA or something.

643
00:36:53,379 --> 00:36:59,114
Whoever it is, tell them we're having our
perfect, romantic, uninterrupted Christmas.

644
00:36:59,139 --> 00:37:01,234
Arrrgh!
- Terry!

645
00:37:01,259 --> 00:37:04,948
Arrrgh!
- Terry! Terry!

646
00:37:08,579 --> 00:37:11,788
Surprise!

647
00:37:36,892 --> 00:37:41,694
The taxi driver was saying there's been
two murders in the village since you arrived.

648
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:42,694
Correct.

649
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,821
Do you ever think it might be you, Gemma?
- What?

650
00:37:45,846 --> 00:37:48,694
Well, she's right.
You do have quite a dark energy.

651
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,974
I still don't understand what
the two of you are doing here.

652
00:37:51,999 --> 00:37:55,714
Well, we didn't like to think of
you being here on your own. So...

653
00:37:55,739 --> 00:37:57,049
ta-da!

654
00:37:57,074 --> 00:38:00,445
And we couldn't be bothered
to cook our own Christmas dinner.

655
00:38:00,470 --> 00:38:05,058
And I know what you're like, Gemma.
Leaving your little clues for us to join you.

656
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:07,694
A treasure hunt. Very festive.

657
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,694
Clues? What? What clues?

658
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,694
Well, leaving your laptop lying around.

659
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,934
So, all we had to do was power it up, figure
out your password, then hack into your email.

660
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:18,294
Then go through that, find out from the
booking website where you were staying.

661
00:38:18,319 --> 00:38:21,819
And here we are.
And it's clearly what you wanted.

662
00:38:23,729 --> 00:38:30,005
And who do we have here? Extra guests?
Usually there's a surcharge for that...

663
00:38:30,030 --> 00:38:34,092
but when two such glamorous angels
knock on the door at Christmas...

664
00:38:34,117 --> 00:38:37,938
what kind of innkeeper would I be
to turn your way?

665
00:38:37,963 --> 00:38:42,355
And who is this?
And why is it my skin started crawling?

666
00:38:42,380 --> 00:38:46,115
This is David, Mum.
He rents this place out...

667
00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:47,595
while still living here,

668
00:38:47,615 --> 00:38:51,675
which has the added benefit of being
both intrusive and smothering.

669
00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:55,317
The best thing is Patricia...
completely blind to it.

670
00:38:55,342 --> 00:38:58,405
They do love their little jokes, don't they?

671
00:38:58,430 --> 00:39:03,053
Welcome to our happy little family,
Patricia. And er...

672
00:39:03,078 --> 00:39:06,905
I feel vile coming up
when I look at you.

673
00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:10,792
I mean, not a lot, but just enough
to make me feel a bit suspicious.

674
00:39:10,817 --> 00:39:15,038
This is Monica, David.
- Monica, delightful.

675
00:39:15,063 --> 00:39:18,065
Nope.
- And this has ruined Christmas.

676
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,924
No, Gemma's already
done that, hasn't she, Terry?

677
00:39:20,949 --> 00:39:23,877
Gemma forgot to bring the turkey.

678
00:39:23,902 --> 00:39:28,353
Gemma!
So no Christmas dinner as well?!

679
00:39:28,378 --> 00:39:36,378
Now we're calling it Nothingness.
We're having Nothingness dinner.

680
00:39:58,902 --> 00:40:00,579
Right.

681
00:40:02,282 --> 00:40:06,764
Let's see this
through to the end.

682
00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:37,757
What are you doing?

683
00:40:37,782 --> 00:40:41,764
I am mixing the dough for the
cranberry and cinnamon swirl buns.

684
00:40:41,789 --> 00:40:45,814
I will be serving warm
for breakfast tomorrow.

685
00:40:45,839 --> 00:40:47,328
I had to get up early,

686
00:40:47,348 --> 00:40:51,545
because now I'm catching
for twice the people I've planned on.

687
00:40:51,570 --> 00:40:54,838
Are you annoyed?
Has it ruined Christmas?

688
00:40:54,863 --> 00:40:59,084
I know I forgot the turkey, but can we just
let it go and try and have a nice time, yeah?

689
00:40:59,109 --> 00:41:07,109
This is me trying, Gemma. Really trying.

690
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,589
I'll go then.

691
00:41:31,657 --> 00:41:38,384
If you want to crack the case, visit the
village hall. There is no time to lose.

692
00:41:38,409 --> 00:41:42,664
Well, we have to go.
- Whoa, no we don't.

693
00:41:42,689 --> 00:41:45,165
No investigating, remember?

694
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:47,569
Terry, someone could be
in trouble.

695
00:41:47,589 --> 00:41:51,666
Now put that pet lip away
for five seconds and come with me.

696
00:41:51,691 --> 00:41:56,719
Welcome. What are we doing?
- We're solving a murder.

697
00:41:56,744 --> 00:41:58,264
Even though we said we wouldn't.

698
00:41:58,289 --> 00:42:05,093
Well, let's just do it. Just as girls.
It'll be fun. The Draper girls.

699
00:42:05,118 --> 00:42:08,800
I'm a Bremer now. I'm married, Mum.
- You'll never be a Bremer.

700
00:42:08,825 --> 00:42:12,694
We are family, not him.
That's what we do.

701
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,694
Christmas together, getting involved
in people's lives, invited or not.

702
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,761
- And we can have Terry's dough ball thingies
when we get back later. - No.

703
00:42:20,786 --> 00:42:23,694
Which smell delicious.
- Let's go.

704
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:28,061
Christmas, Christmas.

705
00:42:28,086 --> 00:42:30,927
With murders.

706
00:42:30,952 --> 00:42:35,166
I think there's two more before dinner time.

707
00:42:35,619 --> 00:42:40,447
Look, we're the three wise women.
- We are, aren't we?

708
00:42:40,472 --> 00:42:48,472
Bringing gold, frankincense, and mur... der.
Yeah? Guys? I did a joke.

709
00:42:50,675 --> 00:42:53,230
Very disrespectful.

710
00:42:53,255 --> 00:42:58,046
And on Christmas Eve as well.
In!

711
00:43:02,583 --> 00:43:07,218
Ooh.
- Now that's a cracker.

712
00:43:07,243 --> 00:43:12,964
I see. Crack the case and it's a cracker.

713
00:43:12,989 --> 00:43:15,744
Help! I can't breathe.
- Right, we're coming.

714
00:43:15,769 --> 00:43:18,729
Er... wait, I once appeared
after something very similar...

715
00:43:18,749 --> 00:43:20,637
...to Party for the Backstreet Boys.

716
00:43:20,662 --> 00:43:24,404
They were furious.
They didn't know how I got in there.

717
00:43:24,424 --> 00:43:28,235
Thankfully I'm gorgeous,
so we just continue to party.

718
00:43:28,260 --> 00:43:29,708
How does that help us now?

719
00:43:29,733 --> 00:43:31,935
Well, it's just a nice memory
that I thought I'd share, Gemma.

720
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:38,445
Help! Help, get me out!
Help, get me out!

721
00:43:38,470 --> 00:43:43,945
It's a woman's voice. Very shrill
and annoying. Just like yours, Gemma.

722
00:43:43,970 --> 00:43:48,755
Susan, is that you?
- Yes, please help me.

723
00:43:48,780 --> 00:43:53,175
OK, don't worry. Sit tight.
Come on, girls.

724
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,141
But you'd better be grateful.
These nails cost a fortune.

725
00:43:56,166 --> 00:44:00,221
Gemma, what are we thinking?
There's only one way to open a cracker.

726
00:44:00,246 --> 00:44:03,252
Of course!

727
00:44:03,913 --> 00:44:07,455
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I don't think this is a good idea.

728
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,838
Gemma, we've got to get her out.
- Mum, let's co-ordinate.

729
00:44:10,863 --> 00:44:14,798
- Something's not right. - On the count
of three, I give it all you've got.

730
00:44:14,823 --> 00:44:17,016
One, two, three.

731
00:44:17,041 --> 00:44:21,766
No! Zabanga!
Zabanga! Arrgh!

732
00:44:40,528 --> 00:44:42,028
Oops.

733
00:44:44,693 --> 00:44:46,502
Here we are.

734
00:44:46,527 --> 00:44:50,916
Stop banging it in the middle of
another bunch of bloody murders.

735
00:44:50,941 --> 00:44:56,331
I mean, you promised me, Gemma.
You promised me.

736
00:44:56,356 --> 00:45:03,431
This is all rather awkward though, isn't it?
Technically, those three killed Susan.

737
00:45:03,456 --> 00:45:07,073
So that's all four of you
under suspicion, really?

738
00:45:07,098 --> 00:45:12,694
It could be a gang. A murderous gang
come to the village to kill us all.

739
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:17,915
Who are you?
- No. Look, we were trying to save her.

740
00:45:17,940 --> 00:45:19,841
We killed her unwittingly.

741
00:45:19,866 --> 00:45:25,882
We were just being reckless. That's it.
That's it. We killed her recklessly.

742
00:45:25,907 --> 00:45:30,184
She's in the clear then.
Recklessly killing someone is not a crime.

743
00:45:30,209 --> 00:45:38,209
Yes, it is. It's called manslaughter.
- Is that what that is? God.

744
00:45:39,492 --> 00:45:44,714
I have let an embarrassingly large
number of people get away with that.

745
00:45:44,739 --> 00:45:47,964
As soon as I heard the news,
I came running. Is everyone all right?

746
00:45:47,989 --> 00:45:52,125
Ruprecht? Are you in shock? Or is that
reaction all your empty mind can muster?

747
00:45:52,150 --> 00:45:58,015
Leave him alone. Just his resting face.
It's not his fault it's vacant.

748
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,456
And what might your name be?

749
00:46:00,481 --> 00:46:04,058
Centaur Clausenhof is often
accompanied by Liesl,

750
00:46:04,078 --> 00:46:07,134
the sultry redhead
spirit of the forest.

751
00:46:07,159 --> 00:46:10,741
I'm not sultry. I've just got a mard on.
And it's Gemma.

752
00:46:10,766 --> 00:46:13,694
I saw you at the parade.
You have lived in my mind ever since.

753
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:20,261
I can live in your mind if you like.
Or on your lap, face, whatever suit.

754
00:46:20,286 --> 00:46:22,599
And I might not be
in your age bracket,

755
00:46:22,619 --> 00:46:25,821
but if you'd like to take a
right in an old classic...

756
00:46:25,846 --> 00:46:28,651
I'd happily leave the top down.

757
00:46:28,676 --> 00:46:32,706
An elder offering her body
for sacrifice. Thank you.

758
00:46:32,726 --> 00:46:36,676
But sadly, Centaur Clausenhof
has some standards.

759
00:46:39,555 --> 00:46:40,694
What's wrong with you?

760
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:46,454
You're uninvited mother and sister have
killed the woman who runs the competition.

761
00:46:46,479 --> 00:46:50,534
So literally, I have no chance now
of getting us a turkey.

762
00:46:50,559 --> 00:46:52,194
Agh, back to this, is it?

763
00:46:52,219 --> 00:46:55,230
I'm going to knock up
a delicious gravy,

764
00:46:55,250 --> 00:47:00,219
which, thanks to someone,
we'll be pouring onto half-empty plates.

765
00:47:01,839 --> 00:47:04,901
That is, if there is anyone
left to eat it at all...

766
00:47:04,926 --> 00:47:12,926
or are you three planning to get in a bit
more manslaughter before I serve up status?

767
00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:35,589
Hello?

768
00:47:36,137 --> 00:47:38,473
Who are you?

769
00:47:38,557 --> 00:47:40,485
Can I ask you some questions?

770
00:47:40,510 --> 00:47:44,694
I've got a pesky murder thing going on, and
apparently that's what I'm supposed to do.

771
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:50,916
No, don't go away.
Now, let's not be silly. Don't be shy.

772
00:47:55,363 --> 00:47:57,725
You calmed down while I was in the shower.

773
00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,694
What was all that about anyway?

774
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,852
Pouring gravy on a half-empty plate?

775
00:48:02,877 --> 00:48:06,098
Are you going to get over this or what?
- No.

776
00:48:06,123 --> 00:48:09,694
This should have been a
perfect romantic Christmas.

777
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:10,874
Yeah? Now it's ruined.

778
00:48:10,899 --> 00:48:15,319
I mean totally ruined because of your
stupid mum and your dandy sister.

779
00:48:15,344 --> 00:48:17,694
How dare you?
- I'm fine with it.

780
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,541
No.

781
00:48:19,566 --> 00:48:23,452
Between the three of you,
you've made nothingness.

782
00:48:23,477 --> 00:48:26,774
Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted
to go on one of them Christmas walks...

783
00:48:26,799 --> 00:48:29,554
and have one of those great chats
that you were looking forward to.

784
00:48:29,579 --> 00:48:30,875
But you know what?

785
00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:34,628
I think it'd be better if I went without you.
- Well, maybe it is.

786
00:48:34,653 --> 00:48:37,452
Yeah.
- Yeah?

787
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:39,907
Give it time.
She'll calm down.

788
00:48:39,932 --> 00:48:45,165
She's my daughter and I love her,
but she's as stroppy as the day is long.

789
00:48:45,190 --> 00:48:46,694
You can say that again.

790
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:50,483
One strop after another
since she got here.

791
00:48:50,508 --> 00:48:54,094
I don't know how you had
the patience to raise her, Patricia.

792
00:48:54,119 --> 00:48:56,694
It's not working.

793
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:01,096
I have been chatted up many times in my life.

794
00:49:01,121 --> 00:49:07,120
But you're the first man
who has ever chatted me down.

795
00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:18,014
Now he stands a chance.

796
00:49:18,039 --> 00:49:20,147
Liesl?

797
00:49:20,172 --> 00:49:24,284
Okay, Gemma, um...
I just wanted to say sorry about before.

798
00:49:24,309 --> 00:49:26,035
Save it, Samuel.
I'm going for a walk.

799
00:49:26,060 --> 00:49:27,644
Anywhere nice?

800
00:49:27,669 --> 00:49:30,864
Field, forest, general countryside.
At this point...

801
00:49:30,889 --> 00:49:33,671
all I'm after is somewhere
green that smells of poo.

802
00:49:33,696 --> 00:49:36,958
Walk?
Yeah, I thought I'd take one too.

803
00:49:36,983 --> 00:49:39,694
I'll come with.
It's the kind of thing I do.

804
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:44,414
Spontaneous and likely to build up a sweat.
- Then I shall accompany you.

805
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:48,614
A guardian to protect your
honor and perhaps win your heart.

806
00:49:48,639 --> 00:49:51,534
No chance.

807
00:49:54,539 --> 00:50:00,087
It's such a beautiful part of the world,
isn't it? My home.

808
00:50:00,112 --> 00:50:05,875
I mean, I live in a house, obviously.
A rather pricey new build, actually. But...

809
00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:09,734
oftentimes I come out here
because it's just so damn enchanting.

810
00:50:09,759 --> 00:50:12,044
Yes, you know, like me.

811
00:50:12,069 --> 00:50:16,301
When I'm naked and oiled.

812
00:50:16,922 --> 00:50:19,191
What more do I have to do?

813
00:50:19,216 --> 00:50:21,694
Er... not enjoying the walk?

814
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:27,694
Perhaps I could beckon a deer to eat
from your hand or stomp on a badger's scent.

815
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,694
Scale one out.
You could look at it for a bit.

816
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,745
Does this usually work?
This man of the forest crap.

817
00:50:34,770 --> 00:50:37,864
Well, yeah.
- Ooo.

818
00:50:37,889 --> 00:50:42,186
Also, I'm very good looking. I don't
understand why it's not working on you.

819
00:50:42,211 --> 00:50:45,316
I just need something more.

820
00:50:45,341 --> 00:50:46,914
And I have that.

821
00:50:46,939 --> 00:50:48,409
What? In Rupert.

822
00:50:48,434 --> 00:50:52,765
Terry, yes.
- But he's the Christmas fool.

823
00:51:06,749 --> 00:51:09,044
Sher?
- Yes.

824
00:51:09,069 --> 00:51:12,694
Can I, with...

825
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:17,818
great reluctance...

826
00:51:18,110 --> 00:51:22,175
ask your advice.
- This should be fun.

827
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,204
No. I was just thinking
maybe I...

828
00:51:25,224 --> 00:51:29,288
Overreacted about Gemma
forgetting the turkey?

829
00:51:29,313 --> 00:51:32,108
And perhaps you should have seen
that she already felt guilty about it.

830
00:51:32,133 --> 00:51:35,994
And maybe you should have
had a little bit more understanding.

831
00:51:36,019 --> 00:51:38,234
Yeah.

832
00:51:38,259 --> 00:51:42,227
She should have...
- What, make it up to her when she gets back?

833
00:51:42,252 --> 00:51:47,104
- By giving her the best nothingness
she has ever had? - Yeah, yeah.

834
00:51:47,129 --> 00:51:50,105
Well, I think you have to make
your own mind up about that sort of thing.

835
00:51:50,130 --> 00:51:51,754
Thanks, Patricia.

836
00:51:51,779 --> 00:51:56,227
I will warn you that Samuel has
gone for a walk with her and Monica.

837
00:51:56,252 --> 00:51:59,015
Got designs on her.
He has.

838
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:04,015
Now, I'm not saying she'd do anything because
she's pledged herself to you in marriage.

839
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:10,165
But, back when I was married,
I'd have given him a knee trembler...

840
00:52:10,190 --> 00:52:16,085
marriage vows or not.
- Samuel.

841
00:52:16,110 --> 00:52:20,039
Why don't you say anything?

842
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:28,892
A knee trembler, you say?
- No.

843
00:52:29,409 --> 00:52:33,791
I think some women need a bit of
substance in a relationship, Samuel.

844
00:52:33,816 --> 00:52:37,004
Substance?
- Guys, look at me.

845
00:52:37,029 --> 00:52:41,694
Substance.
I see. Okay.

846
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,581
See?
- Not me.

847
00:52:43,606 --> 00:52:45,854
Superficiality is all I'm after.

848
00:52:45,879 --> 00:52:49,104
It doesn't look good on Instagram.
It doesn't look good on me.

849
00:52:49,129 --> 00:52:51,333
Um.
But, Gemma.

850
00:52:51,358 --> 00:52:55,273
No. No.
This is not how it works.

851
00:52:55,298 --> 00:52:58,885
I get the boys I want and
Gemma gets the leftovers. No.

852
00:52:58,910 --> 00:53:03,632
You're overreacting a little bit.
- I am. I am overreacting. You know why?

853
00:53:03,657 --> 00:53:07,985
Because I'm good at it.
I want you, so I should have you.

854
00:53:08,010 --> 00:53:10,978
- Gemma won't feel bad about it,
will you, Gemma? - No.

855
00:53:11,003 --> 00:53:15,305
But, can I just say?
- Say? Say? You don't need to say anything.

856
00:53:15,330 --> 00:53:18,992
Just do. Do me.
For Christmas.

857
00:53:19,017 --> 00:53:26,008
Shut up, okay?
Just shut up.

858
00:53:26,033 --> 00:53:30,081
Everything has to be your way, doesn't it?
The way you want.

859
00:53:30,106 --> 00:53:32,382
You're as bad as all the others.

860
00:53:32,402 --> 00:53:37,594
They all want this perfect little
village and their perfect little lives.

861
00:53:37,619 --> 00:53:42,025
Okay, you're getting a little bit intense.
Still keen, but let's not go any darker.

862
00:53:42,050 --> 00:53:46,165
Did you ever think, Gemma,
maybe these murders are what they need?

863
00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:48,372
Show them they can't have
everything they want.

864
00:53:48,397 --> 00:53:54,276
Maybe the killings are a good thing.
Maybe the murderer is right.

865
00:53:54,301 --> 00:53:56,155
Argh!

866
00:53:56,180 --> 00:53:59,395
I've changed my mind.
You can have him, Gemma.

867
00:53:59,420 --> 00:54:03,762
He's a psycho. I mean,
not good psycho, where it's romantic.

868
00:54:03,787 --> 00:54:06,684
Bad psycho.
- Very poetic.

869
00:54:08,587 --> 00:54:09,694
Gemma!

870
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,718
I'm sorry! Gemma!

871
00:54:13,272 --> 00:54:15,441
Gemma, please!

872
00:54:16,190 --> 00:54:17,118
Gemma!

873
00:54:17,143 --> 00:54:20,379
Gemma!

874
00:54:31,050 --> 00:54:33,615
That's not good.

875
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,714
I think we might head back now.

876
00:54:36,739 --> 00:54:38,134
On our own.

877
00:54:38,159 --> 00:54:42,027
At what, at first glance,
may look like running.

878
00:54:42,052 --> 00:54:43,807
Run.
- Is that all you want, Gemma?

879
00:54:43,832 --> 00:54:46,995
Pass up the opportunity to be with me?
- No!

880
00:54:47,020 --> 00:54:48,694
That's more like it.

881
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:52,291
My God, no!

882
00:54:52,899 --> 00:54:54,969
Jack.

883
00:54:55,895 --> 00:54:57,395
Who?

884
00:54:58,860 --> 00:55:02,234
Jack, the local handyman,
disappeared at the weekend.

885
00:55:02,259 --> 00:55:04,402
Everyone thought he left
because of the Santathlon.

886
00:55:04,427 --> 00:55:07,335
He came in last, last year.
The shame nearly killed him.

887
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,734
Well, something else actually
has killed him this year, Samuel.

888
00:55:10,759 --> 00:55:14,005
Something, or someone, or some...

889
00:55:14,030 --> 00:55:16,562
Just the first two, actually.

890
00:55:16,889 --> 00:55:18,377
Right.

891
00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:20,376
There's no climbing out.

892
00:55:20,649 --> 00:55:25,751
And if I fall,
I'm on you lot, aren't I?

893
00:55:25,776 --> 00:55:28,422
There's only one thing for it.

894
00:55:28,447 --> 00:55:30,115
Time to start screaming.

895
00:55:30,140 --> 00:55:32,082
Help!

896
00:55:32,107 --> 00:55:34,408
I'm in a hole!

897
00:55:34,433 --> 00:55:39,048
I'll, um, run back to the village,
sound the alarm with the townsfolk.

898
00:55:39,073 --> 00:55:40,899
Yeah.

899
00:55:41,820 --> 00:55:45,775
Why are all the ones with
pert bums absolute maniacs?

900
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,709
Can I keep myself in that?

901
00:55:57,517 --> 00:56:02,410
Who are you?
- And did you do this murdering?

902
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,895
Ooh.
- You are strangers here.

903
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,942
I hope you and your husband haven't been
planning to stay here and have kids.

904
00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:12,645
Because if you do,
they're not going to like that.

905
00:56:12,670 --> 00:56:16,342
They're not going to
like that one little bit.

906
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:22,485
I'm going to start running now, excuse me.
- It's cold, I'll join you.

907
00:56:23,695 --> 00:56:28,711
If anyone's coming to help,
now would be a good time.

908
00:56:29,491 --> 00:56:32,278
It's going to be night soon.

909
00:56:32,591 --> 00:56:37,580
That's when things will get
really, really very scary.

910
00:56:37,605 --> 00:56:42,537
I'm sitting down but only
out of a sense of comfort.

911
00:56:42,562 --> 00:56:50,562
I want to feel small.
Make myself less of a target for predators.

912
00:56:51,507 --> 00:56:54,694
Auh. It seemed so much further
on the way back.

913
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:58,487
- It was worse for me. I have
a fear of being killed. - So did I.

914
00:56:58,512 --> 00:57:03,254
Gemma, they killed the pretty one first.
You of all people should know that.

915
00:57:03,279 --> 00:57:05,327
David!

916
00:57:05,352 --> 00:57:06,694
What are you doing?

917
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,694
Hello Gemma.
I was just sniffing your mum's feet.

918
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,219
What?

919
00:57:14,129 --> 00:57:15,931
Oohh.

920
00:57:16,580 --> 00:57:21,497
...look at her.

921
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,331
It's just like Christmas when we were kids.

922
00:57:24,356 --> 00:57:27,331
Where's Terry?
- He'll be in the pub.

923
00:57:27,356 --> 00:57:32,117
It's where he always goes when he's in a
huff. He'll roll in in the small hours.

924
00:57:32,302 --> 00:57:35,611
Big day tomorrow.
I got you a surprise present.

925
00:57:35,636 --> 00:57:39,536
You're going to love it.
- Well, I hope you've kept the receipt.

926
00:57:47,242 --> 00:57:49,364
Please talk to me.

927
00:57:49,389 --> 00:57:51,284
It's been hours.

928
00:57:51,309 --> 00:57:53,423
Hello?

929
00:57:53,622 --> 00:57:55,693
Have you gone?

930
00:57:55,718 --> 00:57:57,218
Wow.

931
00:57:58,756 --> 00:58:04,151
I think we can call this
a thorough search of the area.

932
00:58:04,176 --> 00:58:05,739
Hello?

933
00:58:05,789 --> 00:58:07,961
Is there someone there?

934
00:58:07,986 --> 00:58:10,121
It's Martin.

935
00:58:10,146 --> 00:58:12,947
The law around these parts.

936
00:58:13,099 --> 00:58:16,114
Whoa. Whoa.

937
00:58:16,919 --> 00:58:19,454
Augh. Augh.

938
00:58:36,209 --> 00:58:37,846
Gemma.

939
00:58:38,009 --> 00:58:41,775
I'm really sorry.
I've grown as a person, I think.

940
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,024
Maybe all I needed
was to sit in a hole.

941
00:58:45,049 --> 00:58:48,024
Also, something's crawled up my leg.

942
00:58:48,049 --> 00:58:52,275
I think it's trying to find a home
in my personal areas.

943
00:58:52,300 --> 00:58:55,702
So we might have to look at that
when we get home, Gemma.

944
00:58:55,727 --> 00:58:58,178
Gemma!

945
00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:06,965
I found what had crawled up my leg.
That's a relief.

946
00:59:06,990 --> 00:59:08,694
Turns out it was a worm.

947
00:59:08,719 --> 00:59:10,872
I ended up eating it.

948
00:59:10,897 --> 00:59:13,781
We could have a laugh about that later.

949
00:59:13,806 --> 00:59:15,172
I had some dead by then.

950
00:59:15,197 --> 00:59:19,312
Always cares we can have
a laugh in the next life.

951
00:59:19,337 --> 00:59:21,758
Morning, Mum.
Merry Christmas.

952
00:59:21,783 --> 00:59:26,465
No, no, Gemma. No shouting. You know,
Mummy likes a quiet Christmas morning.

953
00:59:26,490 --> 00:59:31,512
I was absolutely knackered after that walk
yesterday. Didn't even hear Terry come in.

954
00:59:31,537 --> 00:59:37,105
We'll go back out again this morning. I
mean, he must have been absolutely hammered.

955
00:59:37,130 --> 00:59:41,452
Started brushing my hair in the
middle of the night. I had to bat him away.

956
00:59:41,477 --> 00:59:46,058
So, are you coming to the Santa
competition to cheer Terry on?

957
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:47,618
No.

958
00:59:47,643 --> 00:59:51,412
Presents. I want my presents.
- No, Monica.

959
00:59:51,437 --> 00:59:56,312
We will wait to do them with Terry.
He's put a huge effort into this Christmas.

960
00:59:56,337 --> 01:00:00,218
Including putting up with you.
Turning up uninvited.

961
01:00:00,243 --> 01:00:05,007
So, we will wait.
Understood.

962
01:00:05,032 --> 01:00:07,821
Mum, she's giving me that look.

963
01:00:07,846 --> 01:00:12,254
It's the same look that she gave me when
we were teenagers when she broke my thumbs.

964
01:00:12,279 --> 01:00:16,075
Do as she says and I'm not
driving you to hospital again.

965
01:00:16,100 --> 01:00:19,355
Crying about your lost hitchhiking career.

966
01:00:19,380 --> 01:00:23,880
We're going to make this up to Terry, yeah?

967
01:00:24,333 --> 01:00:29,015
Gemma, I'll make it up to you.

968
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:33,014
But you won't though, will you?

969
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,814
Wellie Watkins.

970
01:00:38,187 --> 01:00:42,543
Hiya.

971
01:00:44,153 --> 01:00:46,148
This should be fun.

972
01:00:46,173 --> 01:00:47,928
No, no, no.

973
01:00:47,953 --> 01:00:50,562
So now, the next Santa challenge.

974
01:00:50,587 --> 01:00:52,606
Let's see how this plays out.

975
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:59,044
Come on, guys. I know we've had a bit
of bad news during the competition this year.

976
01:00:59,069 --> 01:01:02,582
But if we don't crack on and get it done,
then the killer wins.

977
01:01:02,607 --> 01:01:05,091
This is supposed to be fun,
remember?

978
01:01:05,111 --> 01:01:08,132
Sorry. My heart's
a little bruised right now.

979
01:01:08,157 --> 01:01:11,962
One of the outsiders has upset Samuel.
Typical.

980
01:01:11,987 --> 01:01:13,453
That's what's dulled the mood.

981
01:01:13,473 --> 01:01:15,722
I think it might be the
string of dead Santas.

982
01:01:15,747 --> 01:01:20,494
And one elf, Gemma. Let's not forget
what you and Mum made me do to that elf.

983
01:01:20,519 --> 01:01:24,134
We're going to finish this competition,
Gemma, if that's all right with you.

984
01:01:24,159 --> 01:01:26,274
We've been doing this
for decades in this village.

985
01:01:26,299 --> 01:01:31,064
And we're not stopping just because
a few contestants have... withdrawn.

986
01:01:31,089 --> 01:01:32,567
Righty-ho.

987
01:01:32,592 --> 01:01:36,207
On you go, then. Let's see your little
game play out to its final conclusion.

988
01:01:36,232 --> 01:01:39,854
The final conclusion is to be at the
head of the table for the village dinner.

989
01:01:39,879 --> 01:01:44,074
- Nothing more. - She's a spiky
little madam, isn't she, Gemma?

990
01:01:44,099 --> 01:01:48,427
She is, Mum, yeah.
- I know. I can smell my own.

991
01:01:48,452 --> 01:01:51,314
So where's Terry, then?

992
01:01:51,339 --> 01:01:53,854
You know what he's like. He's probably
getting ready for the competition.

993
01:01:53,879 --> 01:01:57,327
He's probably psyching himself up somewhere.
- Augh.

994
01:01:57,352 --> 01:02:00,941
Why are you here, Willie?
- To watch you die, silly.

995
01:02:00,966 --> 01:02:06,954
You put me in jail, took away my life,
and now I'm going to watch you lose yours.

996
01:02:06,979 --> 01:02:11,494
But I don't want to die.
I want to have Christmas with Gemma.

997
01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:13,494
You should be with Gemma,
shouldn't you?

998
01:02:13,519 --> 01:02:15,831
In fact, if you'd have
just come with her,

999
01:02:15,851 --> 01:02:18,494
you'd have never fallen
in this hole, would you?

1000
01:02:18,519 --> 01:02:22,494
Too obsessed with your perfect
Christmas dinner, weren't you?

1001
01:02:22,519 --> 01:02:27,174
The dinner? If I don't get it in
the oven soon, it'll be ruined.

1002
01:02:27,199 --> 01:02:30,654
What am I going to do?
- You're going to starve to death.

1003
01:02:30,679 --> 01:02:34,558
But don't worry.
I'm going to be here for the whole thing...

1004
01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:39,561
having some starvation banter with you.
- This has been the worst Christmas ever.

1005
01:02:39,586 --> 01:02:42,607
And you'll be dead by the end of it.

1006
01:02:43,019 --> 01:02:45,554
Gemma!

1007
01:02:45,579 --> 01:02:49,414
Right, it's the race to the top
of the chimney. Best time wins.

1008
01:02:49,439 --> 01:02:51,221
Who's going first?
- Me, me.

1009
01:02:51,246 --> 01:02:53,354
I've been practicing on my
homemade chimney all year.

1010
01:02:53,379 --> 01:02:58,794
Fine, and Robert to go first.
Round of applause for Robert.

1011
01:02:59,119 --> 01:03:01,494
This is it.
John beat me on this last year.

1012
01:03:01,519 --> 01:03:07,144
It's going to be a lot slower now, isn't it?
- Just begin, Robert.

1013
01:03:10,850 --> 01:03:15,944
Three, two, one, line!

1014
01:03:15,969 --> 01:03:18,184
Isn't this impressive?

1015
01:03:18,209 --> 01:03:23,957
My Duncan set this
whole thing up last night.

1016
01:03:23,982 --> 01:03:28,254
I am Santa, I'm going to win.

1017
01:03:28,279 --> 01:03:31,775
Are you saying I should be focusing
more on Gemma's happiness...

1018
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:34,394
and less on my search
for culinary perfection?

1019
01:03:34,419 --> 01:03:38,633
If that's what you want
to take from all this...

1020
01:03:38,653 --> 01:03:42,419
then yeah, I suppose
something like that.

1021
01:04:01,113 --> 01:04:08,220
Thank God. I thought they'd be
filled with spikes or something.

1022
01:04:20,757 --> 01:04:25,545
I need a drink.
Everyone to the pub, even the outsiders.

1023
01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:29,430
Drinks are on me.

1024
01:04:31,150 --> 01:04:34,494
I must say,
while it's not like I would decorate,

1025
01:04:34,514 --> 01:04:37,092
a little too elegant for my taste...

1026
01:04:37,117 --> 01:04:39,494
but I do like what they've
done with the place.

1027
01:04:39,519 --> 01:04:43,564
It wasn't me.
I keep telling everyone.

1028
01:04:43,589 --> 01:04:49,024
Yeah, I laid the carpets, got the license,
ordered the stock, did the pricing...

1029
01:04:49,049 --> 01:04:54,004
deloused the seating, cleaned up
the vomit and ran the pub quiz...

1030
01:04:54,029 --> 01:05:01,875
so that my Duncan could
concentrate on the biggest job of all.

1031
01:05:01,900 --> 01:05:04,036
The Christmas decorations.

1032
01:05:04,061 --> 01:05:09,221
Well, let's hope he didn't put the
severed head in the Christmas presents.

1033
01:05:09,246 --> 01:05:12,301
Always a red flag for me.
- I'm going to say...

1034
01:05:12,326 --> 01:05:18,494
No, Gemma, first severed head,
I am out with very few exceptions.

1035
01:05:18,519 --> 01:05:21,575
Duncan decorated the pub.

1036
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:24,984
So what about John's mulled wine?
Annette's said...

1037
01:05:25,009 --> 01:05:26,803
Well, we all knew he bought it pre-made.

1038
01:05:26,828 --> 01:05:29,743
Where's the only place that
you can buy booze in this village?

1039
01:05:29,768 --> 01:05:35,883
I don't know, here?
- Yes, here. Duncan's pub.

1040
01:05:35,908 --> 01:05:39,971
The very same pub that
when Duncan locks it up...

1041
01:05:39,991 --> 01:05:42,784
He'll be outside all
on his own.

1042
01:05:42,809 --> 01:05:44,494
It takes him ever so long.

1043
01:05:44,519 --> 01:05:47,812
Long enough to stick Susan
in a massive cracker, I'd say.

1044
01:05:47,837 --> 01:05:51,412
Then Duncan put up the fake
chimney that killed Robert.

1045
01:05:51,437 --> 01:05:57,185
Yes, thank you, David, for being
uncharacteristically not irritating.

1046
01:05:57,210 --> 01:06:05,041
And all this because Duncan
wants to win a stupid competition.

1047
01:06:05,066 --> 01:06:08,974
Just once. I think that's what you
said, isn't it, Duncan?

1048
01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:12,538
Maybe I might win this year.
Just once.

1049
01:06:12,563 --> 01:06:18,445
Well, I suppose you could put those facts
in that particular order.

1050
01:06:18,470 --> 01:06:22,752
And I did, babes.
There you go, everyone.

1051
01:06:22,777 --> 01:06:26,178
Duncan's the murderer.
- Ooh!

1052
01:06:26,203 --> 01:06:30,118
Someone go outside and grab the police.
- I'll get them.

1053
01:06:30,143 --> 01:06:33,428
Don't worry, Patricia, I'll be right back.
- Ogh!

1054
01:06:33,453 --> 01:06:40,082
One killer caught, one Christmas saved.
Take him away, Martin.

1055
01:06:40,107 --> 01:06:43,385
Martin?

1056
01:06:43,410 --> 01:06:46,494
Where is Martin?
- There's a point.

1057
01:06:46,519 --> 01:06:49,731
Where is my Martin?

1058
01:06:49,957 --> 01:06:51,285
Come on.

1059
01:06:51,310 --> 01:06:55,437
No.
No, wait.

1060
01:06:55,930 --> 01:06:58,252
Duncan.

1061
01:06:58,277 --> 01:07:00,774
Why?

1062
01:07:00,799 --> 01:07:05,132
I broke my bloody back
making this pub nice for you.

1063
01:07:05,157 --> 01:07:08,112
I regrouted the men's urinal.

1064
01:07:08,137 --> 01:07:11,345
I installed the disabled accessibility lift.

1065
01:07:11,370 --> 01:07:13,852
I knocked the bar through to the lounge.

1066
01:07:13,877 --> 01:07:15,494
I rewired the snug.

1067
01:07:15,519 --> 01:07:17,494
I threw out the drugs.

1068
01:07:17,519 --> 01:07:23,721
And I redid the pointing on the entire
front of the building and for what, Duncan?

1069
01:07:23,746 --> 01:07:28,605
So that you could just waltz about,
killing the bloody customers.

1070
01:07:28,630 --> 01:07:32,379
It's not me.

1071
01:07:35,879 --> 01:07:38,258
Well, that was hideous.

1072
01:07:38,283 --> 01:07:42,236
Now you can give me my presents.

1073
01:07:42,412 --> 01:07:44,141
No.

1074
01:07:44,166 --> 01:07:46,245
We have to wait until we're all together.

1075
01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:48,381
Where's Terry?

1076
01:07:48,406 --> 01:07:50,194
Actually, where is Terry?

1077
01:07:50,219 --> 01:07:51,261
Have you seen him today?

1078
01:07:51,286 --> 01:07:54,401
Well, you said he was
trying it on with you last night.

1079
01:07:54,426 --> 01:08:00,161
Er...
this is a little awkward.

1080
01:08:00,186 --> 01:08:02,494
Terry didn't come home last night.

1081
01:08:02,519 --> 01:08:10,519
I'm afraid Gemma may have misconstrued
my tucking her in as something else.

1082
01:08:10,892 --> 01:08:14,831
I forgive her entirely, of course.

1083
01:08:15,259 --> 01:08:18,141
So who saw him last?

1084
01:08:18,166 --> 01:08:20,914
I gave him some good advice.

1085
01:08:20,939 --> 01:08:25,981
And he saw how silly he'd been when
you had your row and went off with Samuel.

1086
01:08:26,006 --> 01:08:30,957
So, he ran off into the woods to find you.
- Terry?

1087
01:08:30,982 --> 01:08:37,017
Lost in the woods?
- Yes, without us, his loving family.

1088
01:08:37,042 --> 01:08:41,284
Well, loving is pushing it a bit,
but anyway, without us, his family.

1089
01:08:41,309 --> 01:08:43,494
My God.

1090
01:08:43,519 --> 01:08:46,717
He'll be dead then.
- No.

1091
01:08:46,742 --> 01:08:50,234
We're going to look for him.

1092
01:08:53,822 --> 01:08:56,237
Terry.
- Terry.

1093
01:08:56,262 --> 01:08:57,270
Terry.
- Terry.

1094
01:08:57,295 --> 01:08:59,011
Terry!
- Terry.

1095
01:08:59,036 --> 01:08:59,875
Terry.

1096
01:08:59,900 --> 01:09:03,021
Once we find him and retrieve the
body, will you leave?

1097
01:09:03,046 --> 01:09:05,603
- Well, we don't have to.
You don't own this place. - Terry.

1098
01:09:05,628 --> 01:09:08,730
Just being protective of where we live,
there's nothing wrong with that.

1099
01:09:08,755 --> 01:09:12,474
If we make you welcome, before we know it,
the whole village will be full of strangers.

1100
01:09:12,499 --> 01:09:17,174
And in they'll come, into my shop,
demanding to see a hygiene certificate.

1101
01:09:17,199 --> 01:09:18,934
You don't have a hygiene certificate?

1102
01:09:18,959 --> 01:09:24,635
Wanting all sorts. Quail's eggs, pulled pork,
slow cooked something or other.

1103
01:09:24,660 --> 01:09:26,804
Sourdough as far as
the eye can see,

1104
01:09:26,824 --> 01:09:30,635
wanting pale ales and asking
where the meat's been sourced from.

1105
01:09:30,660 --> 01:09:33,567
I say, the more murders
we have, the merrier.

1106
01:09:33,592 --> 01:09:35,581
You caught Duncan too soon.

1107
01:09:35,606 --> 01:09:38,887
Once news gets out, no one will come here.

1108
01:09:38,912 --> 01:09:42,234
Oooh... what's wrong with her?

1109
01:09:42,259 --> 01:09:43,494
She's scared of change.

1110
01:09:43,519 --> 01:09:46,407
The change.
Doesn't worry me.

1111
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:49,327
They say it comes to every woman,
but I'm not going to bother with it.

1112
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:51,434
Me neither.

1113
01:09:51,459 --> 01:09:52,821
Help!

1114
01:09:52,846 --> 01:09:56,494
That's him. Come on, Monica.
- No thanks, Gemma.

1115
01:09:56,519 --> 01:10:02,518
He's not my fella,
so I'm not as excited as you are by this.

1116
01:10:09,042 --> 01:10:10,297
Willa.

1117
01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:14,104
I think I've learnt the lesson
that I fell down here to learn.

1118
01:10:14,129 --> 01:10:15,764
I honestly couldn't care less.

1119
01:10:15,789 --> 01:10:18,924
And will I be visited by
any more spirits this day?

1120
01:10:18,949 --> 01:10:22,874
The ghost of Christmas Dinner passed,
or the Christmas Dinner yet to come?

1121
01:10:22,899 --> 01:10:27,374
Terry, I'm a hallucination.
How the bloody hell do I know?

1122
01:10:27,399 --> 01:10:30,578
I'll never forget
what you... said.

1123
01:10:34,676 --> 01:10:36,644
With that, who would go?

1124
01:10:36,669 --> 01:10:40,964
Just the faint hints of sage
and onion stuffing in the earth.

1125
01:10:40,989 --> 01:10:44,431
Terry.
Are you all right?

1126
01:10:44,456 --> 01:10:47,384
Gemma, I'm so happy to see you.

1127
01:10:47,409 --> 01:10:49,274
Right, I'm coming down to get you.

1128
01:10:49,299 --> 01:10:52,057
No, don't come down here.

1129
01:10:52,082 --> 01:10:57,297
I needed the toilet in the night and...
I did it here.

1130
01:10:57,322 --> 01:11:00,319
Why have you got one bare foot?

1131
01:11:00,596 --> 01:11:04,444
As a direct consequence of
what I've just told you,

1132
01:11:04,464 --> 01:11:08,004
one of my socks is
no longer fit for purpose.

1133
01:11:20,052 --> 01:11:21,818
He was inside
a giant Christmas stocking...

1134
01:11:21,838 --> 01:11:24,755
...with a massive candy cane stuck
in him and he was looking like this.

1135
01:11:24,780 --> 01:11:26,580
It was a local handyman, Jack.

1136
01:11:27,193 --> 01:11:28,504
He almost died of shame last year...

1137
01:11:28,529 --> 01:11:32,615
but now he's dead because of too much
candy cane and not in a diabetic way.

1138
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:38,504
Anyway, to cut a long story short,
I've only gone and caught the bloody killer.

1139
01:11:38,529 --> 01:11:40,029
What?

1140
01:11:40,167 --> 01:11:41,662
You've caught the killer?

1141
01:11:41,687 --> 01:11:46,968
I know I promise not to, but...
- But...

1142
01:11:46,993 --> 01:11:52,252
We're not only part of your community,
we've just saved your community.

1143
01:11:52,277 --> 01:11:54,215
So, Turkey, now.

1144
01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:56,558
No, you haven't won yet.

1145
01:11:56,583 --> 01:11:58,454
The competition isn't finished.

1146
01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:01,348
We had the little hiccup
with the chimney climb,

1147
01:12:01,368 --> 01:12:04,725
but now we're all safe,
there's still one event to go.

1148
01:12:04,750 --> 01:12:07,881
Once I find where my bloody
husband's been hiding himself.

1149
01:12:07,906 --> 01:12:09,294
Fine.

1150
01:12:09,319 --> 01:12:11,674
We'll live without your manky turkey.

1151
01:12:11,699 --> 01:12:14,821
We'll go home,
I'll get the mostly veg boiling,

1152
01:12:14,846 --> 01:12:17,327
I'll pop them in the Kiev
bowl, in the oven...

1153
01:12:17,352 --> 01:12:21,099
and then we'll open our presents.

1154
01:12:22,027 --> 01:12:23,075
You know what?

1155
01:12:23,100 --> 01:12:24,761
You've not won any.

1156
01:12:24,786 --> 01:12:27,424
I'm still leaking out
a little bit of joy...

1157
01:12:27,444 --> 01:12:30,501
...from an otherwise
desperately unhappy situation.

1158
01:12:30,526 --> 01:12:33,561
Little do you know,
that's what I've done most of my life.

1159
01:12:33,586 --> 01:12:36,105
When we open
that champagne this Christmas,

1160
01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:39,112
it's going to be one of the
best I barely remember.

1161
01:12:39,137 --> 01:12:41,372
Just leave it, let's go.

1162
01:12:41,397 --> 01:12:43,362
While they were dragging you
out of that hole,

1163
01:12:43,382 --> 01:12:45,172
I broke into a shop
and nicked a turkey.

1164
01:12:45,197 --> 01:12:48,050
But it's still got bits of glass in it
from where I smashed the window,

1165
01:12:48,070 --> 01:12:49,578
but if we're careful, it'll be fine.

1166
01:12:49,603 --> 01:12:53,098
Monica, I could hug ya.
- Well, if you do, I'm putting it back.

1167
01:12:53,123 --> 01:12:54,455
Now hurry up,
it's dripping on my leg.

1168
01:12:54,480 --> 01:12:59,531
♪ It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪

1169
01:12:59,551 --> 01:13:02,480
♪ Everywhere you go... ♪

1170
01:13:05,792 --> 01:13:10,552
Merry Christmas!
- Cheers, Mum.

1171
01:13:11,899 --> 01:13:15,894
Merry Christmas to all,
what a perfect day we are about to enjoy.

1172
01:13:15,919 --> 01:13:17,887
No!
- No?

1173
01:13:17,912 --> 01:13:24,261
I'm sorry, David. You're a lovely...
Well, more accurately, very needy man.

1174
01:13:24,286 --> 01:13:29,842
But this is our family Christmas, and we
want to spend it with just family, please.

1175
01:13:29,867 --> 01:13:31,342
I see.

1176
01:13:31,367 --> 01:13:35,308
There I was thinking that
you consider me as family.

1177
01:13:35,333 --> 01:13:38,802
We don't. Jug on.

1178
01:13:38,827 --> 01:13:41,139
Without being that rude, David,

1179
01:13:41,159 --> 01:13:46,827
and I mean this in the nicest possible way,
you are the stuff of nightmares.

1180
01:13:46,864 --> 01:13:50,464
I see what you mean.

1181
01:13:50,489 --> 01:13:53,153
Then I shall leave you be.
- Thank you.

1182
01:13:53,178 --> 01:13:58,103
Although I had wanted to say
that I'm very proud of you, Gemma.

1183
01:13:59,535 --> 01:14:02,510
Catching that killer
was nothing short of genius.

1184
01:14:02,761 --> 01:14:06,810
If I'd had a daughter,
I'd want her to be just like you.

1185
01:14:06,835 --> 01:14:09,676
What? Not me?
- No.

1186
01:14:09,701 --> 01:14:15,290
But I'll let you enjoy your day.
I'm off to the Santa competition finale.

1187
01:14:15,315 --> 01:14:19,681
I've been helping them set up all morning.
Sad, really.

1188
01:14:19,706 --> 01:14:24,904
It's only for those who are left in
the running after this whole mess.

1189
01:14:24,929 --> 01:14:26,395
It's ironic, isn't it?

1190
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:30,904
For years I've been saying
it's bloody murder living in this village.

1191
01:14:30,929 --> 01:14:34,813
I guess I was telling the truth all along.

1192
01:14:38,059 --> 01:14:39,607
Shall we do presents?

1193
01:14:39,632 --> 01:14:41,587
After dinner?

1194
01:14:41,612 --> 01:14:43,627
Which is a mere four hours away?

1195
01:14:43,652 --> 01:14:46,421
Four hours?
Well, I'll be bladdered by then.

1196
01:14:46,446 --> 01:14:48,147
I'm perfectly fine with that.

1197
01:14:48,172 --> 01:14:51,841
No complaints here.

1198
01:14:51,866 --> 01:14:54,344
Why aren't these boiling yet?

1199
01:14:56,606 --> 01:15:00,652
Well, the bloody cooker's off again!
Bloody hell, David!

1200
01:15:00,677 --> 01:15:04,921
He's not here, remember?
He's gone to the Santa competition finale.

1201
01:15:04,946 --> 01:15:06,867
Bloody temporarily, he has.

1202
01:15:06,892 --> 01:15:08,587
You're going to come back here
and fix my cooker.

1203
01:15:08,612 --> 01:15:12,187
Well, just don't let him near me,
the creepy little sod that he is.

1204
01:15:12,212 --> 01:15:16,723
Wouldn't mind, but he's got no money.
- No.

1205
01:15:24,259 --> 01:15:27,314
Where's the bloody finale then?

1206
01:15:27,339 --> 01:15:32,096
You go that way.
If you find him, meet me back here.

1207
01:16:12,436 --> 01:16:13,937
You know what?

1208
01:16:13,962 --> 01:16:21,605
After much thought and reflection,
I've decided to resign from the Santatollon.

1209
01:16:21,630 --> 01:16:24,344
Effective immediately.

1210
01:16:28,377 --> 01:16:29,578
David!

1211
01:16:29,603 --> 01:16:31,457
David!

1212
01:16:32,102 --> 01:16:35,784
- These people just need a little lesson
in manners. - My God.

1213
01:16:35,809 --> 01:16:39,084
So they've killed a Santa, have they?

1214
01:16:39,109 --> 01:16:40,905
Just a matter of time,
the way they go on.

1215
01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:44,045
David!
- This should be fun.

1216
01:16:44,070 --> 01:16:49,025
For years, I've been saying
it's bloody murder living in this village.

1217
01:16:49,050 --> 01:16:52,198
Then Duncan put up the fake
chimney that killed Robert.

1218
01:16:52,223 --> 01:16:57,139
It's not me!
- Bugger.

1219
01:16:58,583 --> 01:17:02,114
All right, I'm trying my best.

1220
01:17:02,139 --> 01:17:06,126
On the bright side,
at least you found Marty.

1221
01:17:06,809 --> 01:17:10,394
Behind you.
- What...

1222
01:17:12,999 --> 01:17:18,278
Terry! I've figured it out!
It's... arrgh!

1223
01:17:20,172 --> 01:17:24,647
I'm glad you came, Terry.
You're the final one.

1224
01:17:24,672 --> 01:17:26,687
The final Santa.

1225
01:17:26,712 --> 01:17:28,974
Then there's only me left.

1226
01:17:28,999 --> 01:17:31,427
The last Santa standing.

1227
01:17:31,452 --> 01:17:33,894
And I win.

1228
01:17:33,919 --> 01:17:36,887
It's... I wasn't going to bother, but...
- The cooker went off, yes.

1229
01:17:36,912 --> 01:17:39,654
I had it on a timer.
Nothing wrong with it, really.

1230
01:17:39,679 --> 01:17:43,294
You don't need to do this.
- Yes, I do.

1231
01:17:43,359 --> 01:17:47,134
For years, I was part of this community.
I put my all into it.

1232
01:17:47,159 --> 01:17:49,049
Joined in with sneering
at the outsiders,

1233
01:17:49,069 --> 01:17:51,834
spent thousands on making sure
our garden was up to scratch.

1234
01:17:51,859 --> 01:17:56,274
And when my wife was found to be irritating
by the other residents, what did I do?

1235
01:17:56,299 --> 01:17:58,314
You killed her.

1236
01:17:58,339 --> 01:18:02,365
No, I divorced her. I'm not a lunatic, Gemma.

1237
01:18:02,390 --> 01:18:05,842
Then...

1238
01:18:07,477 --> 01:18:10,178
all right, I was not
a lunatic at that point.

1239
01:18:10,203 --> 01:18:14,292
And to be fair, she had become dead to us.
Awful woman.

1240
01:18:14,317 --> 01:18:15,765
And then what happened?

1241
01:18:15,790 --> 01:18:19,177
I win the Santa competition
year on year,

1242
01:18:19,197 --> 01:18:23,658
spending hours in my costume
perfecting my mannerisms.

1243
01:18:23,683 --> 01:18:27,884
And one by one,
they all started to hate me for it.

1244
01:18:27,909 --> 01:18:34,436
You never gave anyone else a chance.
- I just wanted you all to love me.

1245
01:18:35,519 --> 01:18:40,995
But you pushed me out. So I knew I'd do
the one thing that would hurt you all.

1246
01:18:41,020 --> 01:18:44,494
Bring in outsiders.

1247
01:18:44,519 --> 01:18:47,145
That's why the house is on Airbnb, Annette.

1248
01:18:47,170 --> 01:18:52,658
And when this is done,
I'll have the whole village to myself.

1249
01:18:52,683 --> 01:18:57,455
This will be the village where
all the murders happened.

1250
01:18:57,480 --> 01:19:03,321
The house prices will plummet, and I'll
buy the lot, then I can rent them all out.

1251
01:19:03,346 --> 01:19:05,794
And fill this place with all and sundry.

1252
01:19:05,819 --> 01:19:11,334
And fill this place with people who aren't
like you, Annette, you harsh little shrew.

1253
01:19:11,359 --> 01:19:13,201
How dare you?

1254
01:19:13,226 --> 01:19:16,167
He has got a point, Annette.

1255
01:19:16,192 --> 01:19:19,071
In these situations, it's best to take
home truths on the chin, yeah?

1256
01:19:19,096 --> 01:19:21,066
Augh.

1257
01:19:23,529 --> 01:19:26,791
You and David join a tipple,
celebrate the big day.

1258
01:19:26,816 --> 01:19:28,494
No, no.

1259
01:19:28,519 --> 01:19:32,197
You put the brandy on the pudding, don't you?

1260
01:19:32,222 --> 01:19:35,068
Before you light it.

1261
01:19:35,093 --> 01:19:38,000
No, no.

1262
01:19:44,753 --> 01:19:47,244
You can't think you're going to
walk away from this, David.

1263
01:19:47,269 --> 01:19:51,597
People will know what you've done.
- What Terry's done, Gemma.

1264
01:19:51,622 --> 01:19:53,494
In the ashes, they will find both of you.

1265
01:19:53,519 --> 01:19:58,534
The frustration of a simple turkey,
which your family will testify to.

1266
01:19:58,559 --> 01:20:00,354
They sent you mad.

1267
01:20:00,379 --> 01:20:04,254
Your hate for this village
is easily believable, Terry.

1268
01:20:04,279 --> 01:20:08,861
And when Gemma tried to stop you,
she had to die as well.

1269
01:20:08,886 --> 01:20:13,841
Before guilt made you turn
the gun on yourself.

1270
01:20:14,309 --> 01:20:16,677
Or was it Gemma?

1271
01:20:16,702 --> 01:20:19,224
Me? No.

1272
01:20:19,249 --> 01:20:21,234
Mind your neck, Ed.

1273
01:20:21,259 --> 01:20:25,294
I'm one of the good guys,
but girls, people, people, person...

1274
01:20:25,319 --> 01:20:26,661
I'm a good person.

1275
01:20:26,686 --> 01:20:30,005
This place has already sent you mad,
hasn't it, nosing around...

1276
01:20:30,030 --> 01:20:33,713
asking questions, getting obsessed
with one thing and one thing only,

1277
01:20:33,733 --> 01:20:35,358
and we all know
what that is.

1278
01:20:35,383 --> 01:20:38,558
Where the children are?
- Yes.

1279
01:20:38,583 --> 01:20:41,285
The big secret, where the children are.

1280
01:20:41,310 --> 01:20:44,585
Why don't you tell them, Annette,
where are all the children?

1281
01:20:44,610 --> 01:20:48,834
No.
- I think it's time you told her, don't you?

1282
01:20:48,859 --> 01:20:55,872
Our children don't like us.

1283
01:20:55,897 --> 01:20:58,329
It's true.

1284
01:21:00,357 --> 01:21:01,825
Catherine!

1285
01:21:01,850 --> 01:21:05,494
The reason there's no children in this
village is because we don't like this lot.

1286
01:21:05,519 --> 01:21:10,324
Nobody's children stayed here or
even come back for Christmas...

1287
01:21:10,344 --> 01:21:13,394
...because of the way
these people are.

1288
01:21:13,419 --> 01:21:17,932
I'm Catherine, Annette's
daughter, or rather, I was.

1289
01:21:17,957 --> 01:21:19,892
You became a vegan.

1290
01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,494
I'm a bloody butcher, Catherine.

1291
01:21:21,519 --> 01:21:23,805
We don't have vegan children.

1292
01:21:23,830 --> 01:21:28,964
Being a vegan is the only rational
response to an irrational woe.

1293
01:21:28,989 --> 01:21:30,718
You see what I'm dealing with?

1294
01:21:30,743 --> 01:21:36,138
I tried to talk her out of it more than once.
Many, many times, actually.

1295
01:21:36,163 --> 01:21:40,004
But you nagged and nagged and chipped
away until she decided she'd had enough...

1296
01:21:40,029 --> 01:21:43,157
and didn't want to bother with you anymore.
- How did you know?

1297
01:21:43,182 --> 01:21:46,534
I also have a mother.
- Huhum... sorry to interrupt.

1298
01:21:46,559 --> 01:21:51,341
Man with a gun and a plan here, could we
all focus on the matter in hand, please?

1299
01:21:51,366 --> 01:21:54,225
Catherine, you can be
another of Gemma's victims.

1300
01:21:54,250 --> 01:21:57,302
Gemma, if you'd have been as good
an investigator as you claimed,

1301
01:21:57,322 --> 01:21:58,895
we wouldn't be
in this position.

1302
01:21:58,920 --> 01:22:00,975
I'll have you know
we've found that...

1303
01:22:00,995 --> 01:22:03,915
...by letting the murderer kill...
repeated victims...

1304
01:22:03,940 --> 01:22:06,502
It's the best way
of reducing the suspects.

1305
01:22:06,527 --> 01:22:12,785
I can't help thinking how ashamed your
mother would be if she could see you now.

1306
01:22:23,110 --> 01:22:31,110
♪ Santa baby,
just slip a Sable under the tree for me ♪

1307
01:22:31,839 --> 01:22:34,647
♪ Been an awful good girl ♪

1308
01:22:34,672 --> 01:22:38,307
♪ Santa baby, so hurry down... ♪
- David.

1309
01:22:38,332 --> 01:22:42,769
♪ the chimney tonight ♪
- shoot me now, please.

1310
01:22:46,090 --> 01:22:54,090
♪ Santa baby, a '54 convertible
too, light blue ♪

1311
01:22:54,717 --> 01:22:57,597
♪ I'll wait up for you, dear ♪

1312
01:22:57,622 --> 01:23:02,584
♪ Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight ♪

1313
01:23:02,609 --> 01:23:04,611
What are you doing, Patricia?

1314
01:23:04,636 --> 01:23:09,227
Isn't that what you wanted,
a special Christmas present?

1315
01:23:09,252 --> 01:23:13,978
Yes, I mean, absolutely,
but as you can see, I'm a bit busy.

1316
01:23:14,003 --> 01:23:16,925
No.

1317
01:23:16,950 --> 01:23:21,918
In spite of everything you said, I knew,
I knew there was a spark between us.

1318
01:23:21,943 --> 01:23:27,784
Maybe it's this dress,
100% polyester.

1319
01:23:30,419 --> 01:23:32,904
I'm sorry I sniffed your
feet while you slept.

1320
01:23:32,929 --> 01:23:37,831
You did what?
I can let that go.

1321
01:23:37,856 --> 01:23:39,674
Can I unwrap my present?

1322
01:23:39,699 --> 01:23:41,847
Can I?
- Please, no.

1323
01:23:41,872 --> 01:23:43,961
Let me die before seeing this.

1324
01:23:43,986 --> 01:23:48,927
Kitten,
you can unwrap all of me here.

1325
01:23:48,952 --> 01:23:54,341
I mean, I do have a support girdle.

1326
01:23:54,366 --> 01:23:56,574
You have to take your time with that.

1327
01:23:56,599 --> 01:23:58,309
I will.

1328
01:23:58,619 --> 01:24:00,974
I will.

1329
01:24:00,999 --> 01:24:08,999
Um... if you are going to unwrap me,
how can you do it with your hands full?

1330
01:24:15,860 --> 01:24:17,315
Mom!

1331
01:24:17,340 --> 01:24:18,840
No.

1332
01:24:19,959 --> 01:24:21,494
You saved my life.

1333
01:24:21,519 --> 01:24:22,494
I know.

1334
01:24:22,519 --> 01:24:24,874
That's what mothers do, Gemma.

1335
01:24:24,899 --> 01:24:28,494
I'm here to love and protect you
and make you happy.

1336
01:24:28,519 --> 01:24:30,494
See?

1337
01:24:30,519 --> 01:24:32,844
Thanks, Mother.

1338
01:24:32,869 --> 01:24:37,057
Do you know,
it's ages since I shot a man.

1339
01:24:39,578 --> 01:24:41,128
Arrrgh!

1340
01:24:41,153 --> 01:24:45,594
I've still got it, haven't I?

1341
01:24:50,632 --> 01:24:51,441
Bye.

1342
01:24:51,466 --> 01:24:55,552
I'm looking forward to your visit.

1343
01:24:56,966 --> 01:24:58,861
Visit him? In prison?

1344
01:24:58,886 --> 01:25:01,734
It's the only way I could get him
how to tell me how to fix the cooker.

1345
01:25:01,759 --> 01:25:05,298
You are...

1346
01:25:05,452 --> 01:25:10,614
I'm not unaware that the
appropriate thing to do is to apologize...

1347
01:25:10,639 --> 01:25:13,241
and thank you both for
everything you've done here.

1348
01:25:13,266 --> 01:25:16,494
Oh? So are you apologizing
and thanking us both?

1349
01:25:16,519 --> 01:25:17,547
No, no, no, no, no.

1350
01:25:17,572 --> 01:25:21,807
She is stating that she's aware
it's the appropriate thing to do.

1351
01:25:21,832 --> 01:25:24,174
You will get no more than that.

1352
01:25:25,706 --> 01:25:27,656
Life-threatening
situations like this...

1353
01:25:27,676 --> 01:25:30,407
...can show you what the
important things in life are...

1354
01:25:30,432 --> 01:25:34,453
so maybe it's also appropriate
for you to start building bridges.

1355
01:25:34,478 --> 01:25:36,494
You and Catherine could
spend Christmas together.

1356
01:25:36,519 --> 01:25:37,866
Are you kidding?

1357
01:25:37,891 --> 01:25:41,280
You're not spending the
holidays with this little hippie witch.

1358
01:25:41,305 --> 01:25:44,321
Well, I'm going back
to the West with a bird,

1359
01:25:44,341 --> 01:25:47,625
and the speech didn't judge me
for being a vegan.

1360
01:25:51,160 --> 01:25:52,338
You two.

1361
01:25:52,363 --> 01:25:53,494
How did you figure it all out?
- No, we didn't.

1362
01:25:53,519 --> 01:25:55,027
I was feeling lonely,

1363
01:25:55,047 --> 01:26:00,291
so I thought I'd pop over and see
if I could seduce Samuel one last time.

1364
01:26:00,316 --> 01:26:04,305
Peeped through the window,
saw what was going on, ran back to tell mum.

1365
01:26:04,330 --> 01:26:10,315
and I knew that once I'd sprayed him
with my almost liquid sexual allure,

1366
01:26:10,335 --> 01:26:12,330
he'd be putting me out.

1367
01:26:13,737 --> 01:26:16,410
Someone caught the killer and saved the day.

1368
01:26:16,723 --> 01:26:20,138
Honestly, Gemma,
you really are useless at this.

1369
01:26:20,163 --> 01:26:21,091
No.

1370
01:26:21,116 --> 01:26:22,103
No, no, no.

1371
01:26:22,128 --> 01:26:24,996
We are the ones who...
- Gemma.

1372
01:26:25,021 --> 01:26:28,218
Look.

1373
01:26:28,741 --> 01:26:31,771
Snowflake.

1374
01:26:33,577 --> 01:26:36,212
Let him have this one for once.

1375
01:26:36,237 --> 01:26:38,494
Close our eyes really tightly.

1376
01:26:38,519 --> 01:26:43,966
We can imagine that
they actually deserve it this time.

1377
01:26:46,903 --> 01:26:49,611
This is so lovely, Terry.

1378
01:26:49,636 --> 01:26:50,991
You see?

1379
01:26:51,016 --> 01:26:55,492
You do have a use after all.

1380
01:26:56,423 --> 01:26:59,698
The turkey...

1381
01:26:59,723 --> 01:27:03,916
Yeah.

1382
01:27:07,926 --> 01:27:11,403
Very moist.

1383
01:27:11,428 --> 01:27:15,494
So, even though we're having it
in the house of a serial killer...

1384
01:27:15,519 --> 01:27:18,954
there's nothing most as bad
as you expected it to be.

1385
01:27:18,979 --> 01:27:23,201
When I was in that hall, Gemma,
you'd give me a lot of time to think.

1386
01:27:23,226 --> 01:27:24,874
You know what?

1387
01:27:24,899 --> 01:27:30,294
As long as you're with me,
Christmas is every single day of my life.

1388
01:27:30,319 --> 01:27:32,354
You're the best, Terry.

1389
01:27:32,379 --> 01:27:34,554
Isn't he?
Isn't he the best? Isn't he?

1390
01:27:34,579 --> 01:27:37,101
He's a good lad.
A good lad.

1391
01:27:37,126 --> 01:27:40,881
Told you.

1392
01:27:41,899 --> 01:27:45,694
Tuck in, everyone.

1393
01:27:45,719 --> 01:27:49,494
I love Christmas.

1394
01:27:49,519 --> 01:27:51,287
You did it, Terry.

1395
01:27:51,312 --> 01:27:54,579
Merry Christmas.