1
00:00:00,128 --> 00:00:01,229
- Hi, I'm Rekha,

2
00:00:01,229 --> 00:00:03,368
and I'm feeling extremely confident

3
00:00:03,368 --> 00:00:05,680
that I'm gonna play a dramatic role today.

4
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,518
(upbeat music)

5
00:00:07,518 --> 00:00:08,758
- [Vic] Today we're giving this comedian

6
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,788
a total transformation.

7
00:00:10,788 --> 00:00:11,657
(Rekha laughs)

8
00:00:11,657 --> 00:00:15,068
They have no idea who or
what they're about to become.

9
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:16,746
- I'm a freaking turtle.

10
00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:17,579
I know it.

11
00:00:17,579 --> 00:00:19,446
Everything about this screams turtle.

12
00:00:19,446 --> 00:00:21,376
- [Vic] Once they see
themselves in the mirror,

13
00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:23,936
they'll have to make up
a character on the spot

14
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:27,118
and then sit down with me
for an improvised interview.

15
00:00:27,118 --> 00:00:30,159
This is "Very Important People."

16
00:00:30,159 --> 00:00:33,003
(upbeat music fades )

17
00:00:33,003 --> 00:00:34,963
- Each and everything you're putting on me

18
00:00:34,963 --> 00:00:37,715
makes me believe less that I'm a turtle,

19
00:00:37,715 --> 00:00:40,334
but I have to stick to my original idea.

20
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:41,642
(Rekha laughs)

21
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,304
Now,

22
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,323
this could be a turtle still.

23
00:00:45,323 --> 00:00:46,156
- [Producer] Open.

24
00:00:46,156 --> 00:00:47,094
(upbeat music)

25
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:47,927
(Rekha laughs)

26
00:00:47,927 --> 00:00:49,162
- Oh, disgusting.

27
00:00:49,162 --> 00:00:51,864
So, I thought I was a turtle.

28
00:00:51,864 --> 00:00:53,384
And it's pretty clear

29
00:00:53,384 --> 00:00:56,035
that you guys went in a
different direction with that.

30
00:00:56,035 --> 00:00:58,083
So, everyone has to forget

31
00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:00,163
all the turtle stuff I said earlier.

32
00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,803
And this is who I am now.

33
00:01:01,803 --> 00:01:04,214
Interesting about the feet being bread.

34
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,052
That's not something you see every day.

35
00:01:06,052 --> 00:01:06,885
I was right.

36
00:01:06,885 --> 00:01:08,883
This is a dramatic role for
me 'cause I'm a vegetarian.

37
00:01:08,883 --> 00:01:11,521
I'm really experiencing POV hotdog.

38
00:01:11,521 --> 00:01:14,642
How scary it would be to be eaten.

39
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,950
People talk about how they
don't know what hotdogs are

40
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:20,024
or like where they come from.

41
00:01:20,024 --> 00:01:21,624
I think they come from me.

42
00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,632
(producer laughing)

43
00:01:22,632 --> 00:01:24,641
I put the hot in hotdog, bitch.

44
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:27,224
(upbeat music)

45
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,465
- Roar.

46
00:01:44,024 --> 00:01:44,857
(door closes)

47
00:01:44,857 --> 00:01:46,504
We all have a story to tell.

48
00:01:46,504 --> 00:01:47,915
And sometimes those stories

49
00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:49,795
need to be shared with the world.

50
00:01:49,795 --> 00:01:50,753
Good evening.

51
00:01:50,753 --> 00:01:51,586
I'm Vic Michaelis,

52
00:01:51,586 --> 00:01:53,496
back with another edition of

53
00:01:53,496 --> 00:01:55,496
"Very Important People."

54
00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,446
Please introduce yourself.

55
00:01:58,446 --> 00:02:00,475
- I am the Mother Hotdog.

56
00:02:00,475 --> 00:02:03,225
(dramatic music)

57
00:02:04,996 --> 00:02:05,896
- Thank you for being here.

58
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:06,936
We know how busy you are.

59
00:02:06,936 --> 00:02:08,294
And you are a hero.

60
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,394
- I don't consider it being a hero

61
00:02:10,394 --> 00:02:12,744
to be bred for your dinner.

62
00:02:12,744 --> 00:02:13,744
(Vic laughs)

63
00:02:13,744 --> 00:02:14,806
- Like a pun.

64
00:02:14,806 --> 00:02:16,678
- I'm gonna kill myself.

65
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:17,511
- I'm sorry.

66
00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:18,344
Hey, how about this?

67
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:19,177
Why don't we,

68
00:02:19,177 --> 00:02:20,010
I'm sorry I touched your bun.

69
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,147
Mother Hotdog, thank you
for being here today.

70
00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:22,980
We so appreciate.

71
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:24,307
We know you are a very busy

72
00:02:24,307 --> 00:02:26,136
and important pillar of our community.

73
00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:28,296
- I'm here to tell my story.

74
00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:29,846
- If you don't mind me saying,
you seem a little depressed.

75
00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:31,958
- I guess anybody would be depressed

76
00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:34,827
if little parts of their
body got taken out of them

77
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:36,486
and given to people for dinner.

78
00:02:36,486 --> 00:02:37,446
- I know a lot of us know the story,

79
00:02:37,446 --> 00:02:39,755
that you're sort of the
origin of all hotdogs.

80
00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:41,168
And I didn't realize,
(Mother Hotdog farts)

81
00:02:41,168 --> 00:02:42,478
Did you fart?

82
00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:43,595
Did you pass wind?

83
00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:46,368
- We have to be cool.

84
00:02:46,368 --> 00:02:47,201
- I have to be cool.

85
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,918
- So, crazy that I'm, literally,
the origin of all hotdogs

86
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:53,075
and you're gonna talk
about me doing that fart.

87
00:02:53,075 --> 00:02:53,908
- It was just for sound.

88
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:55,318
I was wondering if we
wanted to cut that part.

89
00:02:55,318 --> 00:02:56,317
- You wanna cut that part?

90
00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:57,207
- I don't necessarily want,

91
00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:58,040
- You want me

92
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:58,873
to cut the part?
- I think it's very natural.

93
00:02:58,873 --> 00:03:00,355
I think a lot of people pass wind.

94
00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:03,638
- Why are we still talking about it?

95
00:03:03,638 --> 00:03:04,471
- Mother Hotdog.
- It's like

96
00:03:04,471 --> 00:03:05,304
you can't get over it.

97
00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:06,208
- Origin of all hotdogs.

98
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,041
- Yes.

99
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:07,987
- Dinner for so many people.

100
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,616
- I'm working around the clock.

101
00:03:09,616 --> 00:03:10,974
4th of July is my hell.

102
00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:12,006
- Santa is to Christmas,

103
00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:13,315
you are to 4th of July.

104
00:03:13,315 --> 00:03:14,314
- [Rekha] Yeah, and guess what?

105
00:03:14,314 --> 00:03:16,124
That jerk only works one day a year.

106
00:03:16,124 --> 00:03:18,374
- You have beef with Santa.

107
00:03:19,435 --> 00:03:20,635
- I'm gonna kill myself

108
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,954
in three seconds.
(Vic laughs)

109
00:03:21,954 --> 00:03:22,796
- [Vic] No, I'm sorry.

110
00:03:22,796 --> 00:03:23,629
- Three.
- [Vic] No.

111
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:24,462
Hey, hey.

112
00:03:24,462 --> 00:03:25,295
You know what?
- Two.

113
00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:26,128
- And let's start over.

114
00:03:26,128 --> 00:03:26,961
We're gonna take it back.

115
00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:27,794
And I do apologize.

116
00:03:27,794 --> 00:03:29,152
I thought maybe adding
a little bit of levity

117
00:03:29,152 --> 00:03:29,992
to the situation would help.

118
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,723
But I'm seeing that it's not a joke.

119
00:03:31,723 --> 00:03:32,556
- Thank you.

120
00:03:32,556 --> 00:03:33,731
- It's something that I'm
personally working on,

121
00:03:33,731 --> 00:03:34,564
making sure that,

122
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:37,272
you know, we're taking
serious things seriously.

123
00:03:37,272 --> 00:03:39,112
And we're seeing and we're
hearing and we're listening.

124
00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:39,945
- Okay.

125
00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:41,131
And are you succeeding at all?

126
00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:41,964
- I think so.

127
00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:43,632
As you can see, we have
an on-set therapist here.

128
00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:44,632
And so, if you need anything,

129
00:03:44,632 --> 00:03:46,742
you can also ask him any
questions about yourself.

130
00:03:46,742 --> 00:03:50,963
- I am Catholic and I
don't believe in therapy.

131
00:03:50,963 --> 00:03:52,243
I will not be seeing you.

132
00:03:52,243 --> 00:03:53,076
- You're Catholic?

133
00:03:53,076 --> 00:03:53,909
- Yeah.

134
00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,203
- Is that because they
don't do meat on Fridays?

135
00:03:55,203 --> 00:03:56,142
- They don't?

136
00:03:56,142 --> 00:03:58,572
- They're also really big
on you can't kill yourself.

137
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,062
- I have renounced Catholicism.

138
00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:03,170
Any religion that prevents me

139
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:06,683
from doing what I want
with my horrible life

140
00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:08,283
is not the religion for me.

141
00:04:08,283 --> 00:04:09,631
- I'm seeing that we're stressed.

142
00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:11,967
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.
- We got a lot on our plate.

143
00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:12,800
- Three.

144
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:13,633
(Vic laughs)

145
00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:14,524
- No, and I'm sorry.
- Two.

146
00:04:14,524 --> 00:04:15,357
- Woo-woo-woo.

147
00:04:15,357 --> 00:04:16,190
Rewind.

148
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,023
I wanna know about you.

149
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,131
I wanna know about where you come from.

150
00:04:18,131 --> 00:04:20,851
- I am from a slaughterhouse

151
00:04:20,851 --> 00:04:23,742
in Atlanta, Georgia.

152
00:04:23,742 --> 00:04:26,568
- Do you remember being a pig and or cow?

153
00:04:26,568 --> 00:04:29,102
Or is that sort of like an amalgamation?

154
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,192
- I am a hotdog.

155
00:04:30,192 --> 00:04:31,025
- A hotdog.

156
00:04:31,025 --> 00:04:31,858
- [Mother Hotdog] I always hear the joke.

157
00:04:31,858 --> 00:04:33,163
People go, what's a hotdog made of?

158
00:04:33,163 --> 00:04:35,262
Hotdogs made of all the
crap that's left over.

159
00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:36,095
- Sure.

160
00:04:36,095 --> 00:04:37,112
- Newsflash.

161
00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:39,062
Put that underneath.

162
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:40,212
Breaking news.

163
00:04:40,212 --> 00:04:42,592
- Oh, we don't really have
a VFX budget this season.

164
00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,131
- Breaking news.
(urgent music)

165
00:04:44,131 --> 00:04:46,643
(Mother Hotdog imitates type writer)

166
00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:48,963
Hotdogs are their own thing.

167
00:04:48,963 --> 00:04:50,781
It is not made of other things.

168
00:04:50,781 --> 00:04:51,631
- Well, hotdogs are made of you.

169
00:04:51,631 --> 00:04:52,464
- Exactly.

170
00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:53,739
- Can I ask a personal question?

171
00:04:53,739 --> 00:04:55,203
If you kill yourself, what happens?

172
00:04:55,203 --> 00:04:56,036
- Are you in?

173
00:04:56,036 --> 00:04:56,869
- What do you mean am I in?

174
00:04:56,869 --> 00:04:57,702
- You gonna help?

175
00:04:57,702 --> 00:04:58,535
- [Vic] No, I'm not gonna help.

176
00:04:58,535 --> 00:04:59,368
I'm just curious.

177
00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:00,232
You know, Santa, when he dies,

178
00:05:00,232 --> 00:05:01,281
Tim Allen takes over.

179
00:05:01,281 --> 00:05:02,603
And so I'm sort of wondering

180
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,134
what happens in your situation.

181
00:05:04,134 --> 00:05:05,774
- When I die,

182
00:05:05,774 --> 00:05:07,603
nobody picks up the mantle.

183
00:05:07,603 --> 00:05:09,995
4th of July you're starving.

184
00:05:09,995 --> 00:05:10,828
- A hamburger.

185
00:05:10,828 --> 00:05:11,661
- Flat hotdog?

186
00:05:11,661 --> 00:05:12,494
No thanks.

187
00:05:12,494 --> 00:05:13,327
- [Vic] Okay.

188
00:05:13,327 --> 00:05:14,160
- They're disgusting.

189
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:14,993
Don't eat them.

190
00:05:14,993 --> 00:05:15,876
Breaking news.
- There's no breaking news

191
00:05:15,876 --> 00:05:17,192
and there's no sound effects there.

192
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,193
Actually.
- More at 10.

193
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,033
Hamburgers are their own thing.

194
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:21,866
- We're on exclusively

195
00:05:21,866 --> 00:05:23,429
at 3:30AM.
- And they're disgusting!

196
00:05:23,429 --> 00:05:25,302
- [Vic] After you've
watched "Game Changer".

197
00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:26,135
Slaughterhouse.

198
00:05:26,135 --> 00:05:26,968
- Yes.

199
00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:28,692
- You, sort of, game consciousness.

200
00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:31,479
- I woke up, I said, (gasps)

201
00:05:31,479 --> 00:05:33,041
And there was no doctor to slap me.

202
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,041
You probably got slapped.

203
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,441
- You think I got slapped as a baby?

204
00:05:35,441 --> 00:05:36,274
- Yeah.

205
00:05:36,274 --> 00:05:37,222
- I don't remember sort
of gaining consciousness.

206
00:05:37,222 --> 00:05:39,102
My first memory is when
I was four years old

207
00:05:39,102 --> 00:05:41,150
and my twin sister and I went to Delia's.

208
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,201
Do you know Delia's?

209
00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:45,910
- I mean, maybe if the clerk
has a blood sugar problem

210
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,982
and they're eating one of
my kids during their lunch.

211
00:05:47,982 --> 00:05:49,342
- Okay, so hotdogs that come off of you,

212
00:05:49,342 --> 00:05:51,092
you refer to as children.

213
00:05:51,092 --> 00:05:52,841
- I'm the Mother Hotdog,

214
00:05:52,841 --> 00:05:54,900
so they're my children.

215
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,849
- You're sort of a hotdog
Christ-like figure.

216
00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:58,929
Giving your only children to be eaten.

217
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,870
- I am back on Catholicism.

218
00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:01,703
- Right.

219
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:04,953
- I have converted back to Catholicism.

220
00:06:07,041 --> 00:06:08,260
- At what point do you
sort of gain consciousness

221
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:09,858
and realize, oh my gosh, my,

222
00:06:09,858 --> 00:06:12,137
my children are leaving my body.

223
00:06:12,137 --> 00:06:14,537
I have some sort of affinity towards them.

224
00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:17,217
- You know, sometimes when
you go to the bathroom?

225
00:06:17,217 --> 00:06:18,050
- Sure.

226
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,348
- You kind of feel like
a weight has lifted,

227
00:06:19,348 --> 00:06:23,057
but it's not like you've
actually lost something.

228
00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:23,890
You know?

229
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:24,723
- You just spend a lot of time being like,

230
00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:25,556
those are my children.

231
00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:29,356
And now you're describing
your children's as...

232
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,189
pieces of...

233
00:06:31,513 --> 00:06:32,346
shit?

234
00:06:32,346 --> 00:06:34,987
- Is that not what human children are?

235
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,515
- I, you know,

236
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:39,053
I think there's a lot of,

237
00:06:39,053 --> 00:06:40,649
So, I'm hearing a lot about what you are.

238
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,787
And I wanna know more about who you are.

239
00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:43,697
Who is Mother Hotdog?

240
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:45,438
What does Mother Hotdog want?

241
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,617
- You're gonna think it's stupid.

242
00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:48,450
- I'm not.

243
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,283
- Yeah, you are.

244
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,116
- No, I'm not.

245
00:06:50,116 --> 00:06:50,949
You don't know me.

246
00:06:50,949 --> 00:06:51,782
- Um,

247
00:06:51,782 --> 00:06:53,777
I wanna walk New York Fashion Week.

248
00:06:53,777 --> 00:06:54,610
- New York Fashion Week.

249
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,443
Okay.

250
00:06:55,443 --> 00:06:56,276
Hey.

251
00:06:56,276 --> 00:06:57,109
You know what?

252
00:06:57,109 --> 00:06:57,942
We are gonna get you out there.

253
00:06:57,942 --> 00:06:58,775
We are gonna get you all ready

254
00:06:58,775 --> 00:06:59,958
and we're gonna get you in
front of the right people.

255
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:00,791
- No.

256
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:01,624
What?

257
00:07:01,624 --> 00:07:02,457
- [Vic] Mother Hotdog?
- Heidi?

258
00:07:02,457 --> 00:07:03,290
- No, she's not here right now.

259
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,123
I'm just saying let's,
- Heidi?

260
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:04,956
- [Vic] How about this?

261
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:07,268
How about we get a PA to fly in some wine.

262
00:07:07,268 --> 00:07:08,101
- Oh!

263
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:08,934
- [Vic] We're gonna,

264
00:07:08,934 --> 00:07:09,767
we're gonna loosen up here.

265
00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:10,600
We're gonna have a little bit of

266
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,766
fun on set.
- Hello.

267
00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:12,838
- And thank you.

268
00:07:12,838 --> 00:07:14,486
- [Mother Hotdog] Thank you.
- And thank you so much.

269
00:07:14,486 --> 00:07:15,319
(Mother Hotdog gasps)

270
00:07:15,319 --> 00:07:16,152
Wow.

271
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:16,985
Okay.

272
00:07:16,985 --> 00:07:17,818
Ooh.
- Wow.

273
00:07:17,818 --> 00:07:18,651
Okay.

274
00:07:18,651 --> 00:07:19,484
- So, hey, oh.

275
00:07:19,484 --> 00:07:20,336
- [Mother Hotdog] You

276
00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:21,169
get a taste.

277
00:07:21,169 --> 00:07:22,002
- Okay. (nervous chuckle)

278
00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:25,698
Is it gonna hurt you if I bite this?

279
00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:26,677
Do you feel?
- Don't worry about it.

280
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:27,510
Don't worry about it.

281
00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:28,568
Don't worry about it.

282
00:07:28,568 --> 00:07:29,848
(Vic bites)

283
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:30,681
Fuck.

284
00:07:31,629 --> 00:07:32,675
- Are you okay?

285
00:07:32,675 --> 00:07:33,508
I spit it out.

286
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:34,341
- Fuck.

287
00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:35,174
- [Vic] Okay.

288
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:36,007
And so, this is,

289
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:37,568
And we're, sort of, tossing that.

290
00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:38,401
Hey, it's okay.

291
00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:39,234
- What?

292
00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:40,067
Was it good?

293
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:40,900
- Honestly, it was really delicious.

294
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:41,733
- You want another one?

295
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,677
- Let's do a little bit of
drinking and then we'll see,

296
00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:44,359
we'll see where the afternoon takes us.

297
00:07:44,359 --> 00:07:45,192
- You have a pal now,

298
00:07:45,192 --> 00:07:46,317
so you can get 'em whenever you want.

299
00:07:46,317 --> 00:07:47,437
- I don't take that lightly.

300
00:07:47,437 --> 00:07:48,270
I want you to know that.

301
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:49,103
- Tit for tat.

302
00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:49,936
Friendship.

303
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,056
- Okay, maybe we can get tattoos later.

304
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:51,889
- Yeah.

305
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,227
- I thought maybe we could
play a little drinking game.

306
00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,346
- I've never played one.

307
00:07:54,346 --> 00:07:55,407
- Oh, what about "Never Have I Ever"?

308
00:07:55,407 --> 00:07:57,140
Have you played that?

309
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:57,973
- Never.

310
00:07:57,973 --> 00:07:59,759
(melodic music)

311
00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:01,338
- I have played, so I take a drink.

312
00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:02,171
- Okay.

313
00:08:02,171 --> 00:08:03,004
And then I do one.

314
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,090
So, I'll go like, never have
I ever been to a sleepover.

315
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:05,923
- Um,

316
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:07,501
some of my kids,

317
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:08,701
I squeezed them out

318
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:09,781
and they went to a sleepover

319
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,290
at this 10 year old's birthday party.

320
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,607
- [Vic] Oh.
- It was car themed.

321
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:14,450
- Oh, that's fun.

322
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,283
- Does that count?

323
00:08:15,283 --> 00:08:16,210
- Did they sleepover?

324
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:17,043
- They got eaten.

325
00:08:17,043 --> 00:08:17,876
- Right.

326
00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:19,461
- But they lasted till 10:00PM.

327
00:08:19,461 --> 00:08:20,749
- Yeah, okay, we'll say that counts.

328
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:23,772
You can take a drink.
- Oh.

329
00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:25,221
(Mother Hotdog slurps)

330
00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:26,414
- Okay.
(Mother Hotdog cheers)

331
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:27,247
(Vic cheers)

332
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,223
Okay, now it's your turn.

333
00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,056
Now you do one.

334
00:08:29,056 --> 00:08:33,389
- Never have I ever been a
stupid, bitchy hamburger.

335
00:08:34,423 --> 00:08:35,874
(both laugh)

336
00:08:35,874 --> 00:08:36,743
- I've never done that either.

337
00:08:36,743 --> 00:08:37,952
So, cheers to that.

338
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:38,785
Okay.

339
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,455
- So, you drink when you
do it and you don't do it.

340
00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:41,288
- Yeah.

341
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,244
So, we, sort of, drink on both of 'em.

342
00:08:42,244 --> 00:08:43,343
(Mother Hotdog slurps)

343
00:08:43,343 --> 00:08:44,714
- Ah. (laughs)

344
00:08:44,714 --> 00:08:48,222
(Mother Hotdog slurps)

345
00:08:48,222 --> 00:08:49,096
You got it? Okay.

346
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,721
(Mother Hotdog cheers)
(Vic cheers)

347
00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:51,554
Okay.

348
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:54,244
Never have I ever played a
drinking game with my friend.

349
00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:55,077
- Guess what?

350
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:55,910
- What?

351
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:56,743
- Finger down.

352
00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:57,576
- Finger down.

353
00:08:57,576 --> 00:08:58,409
And cheers to that.

354
00:08:58,409 --> 00:08:59,242
- [Mother Hotdog] Cheers to that.

355
00:08:59,242 --> 00:09:00,075
- We're doing it now.

356
00:09:00,075 --> 00:09:01,653
(Mother Hotdog cheers)

357
00:09:01,653 --> 00:09:02,953
- Yeah.

358
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,296
- We're gonna go ahead and fly in your bag

359
00:09:04,296 --> 00:09:05,129
for a segment we like to call,

360
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:05,962
What's in my bag?

361
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,714
(melodic music)

362
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,735
- Oh, you weren't supposed to find that.

363
00:09:09,735 --> 00:09:10,934
It looks like shit.

364
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,084
- Well, let's just sort
of go through this.

365
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:12,917
Look.

366
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:13,750
This isn't bad.

367
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:14,583
What is this?

368
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:15,416
- That's my wallet.

369
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,249
It's empty.

370
00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:17,082
- What do you mean?

371
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:17,924
There's so many credit cards in here.

372
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,392
- They're all maxed out.

373
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,423
- Mother Hotdog.

374
00:09:20,423 --> 00:09:21,404
All of these are maxed out?

375
00:09:21,404 --> 00:09:23,884
Is nobody paying you for your
children that they're eating?

376
00:09:23,884 --> 00:09:24,754
- I don't get any money.

377
00:09:24,754 --> 00:09:25,942
There's no union.

378
00:09:25,942 --> 00:09:26,775
- Are you in a relationship?

379
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:27,608
Can I ask?

380
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,441
- Never.

381
00:09:28,441 --> 00:09:30,107
- That's okay. I'm divorced.

382
00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:31,004
- Nobody loves me.

383
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,421
They only use me.

384
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,404
Honestly,

385
00:09:34,404 --> 00:09:35,703
I should just die.

386
00:09:35,703 --> 00:09:36,536
- Don't say that.

387
00:09:36,536 --> 00:09:37,369
Don't say that.
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.

388
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,713
- Look, you have so
much fun stuff in here.

389
00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:39,546
What are these?

390
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,379
- Three.

391
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:41,212
- Diapers?

392
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:42,045
- Two.

393
00:09:42,045 --> 00:09:42,878
- [Vic] You have diapers?

394
00:09:42,878 --> 00:09:43,711
Oh, adult.
- Are you judging me?

395
00:09:43,711 --> 00:09:44,759
- I'm not judging you.

396
00:09:44,759 --> 00:09:46,239
Why do you have adult sized diapers?

397
00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:48,489
- Sometimes they can't
control when my kids come out.

398
00:09:48,489 --> 00:09:49,322
- [Vic] Oh.

399
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,039
- And I don't want them
to fall on the floor,

400
00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:52,228
'cause they'll start crying

401
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:54,620
and then everybody in CVS looks at me.

402
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:55,453
- Yeah.

403
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:57,599
- And so, I had to scoop
'em all in the diapers

404
00:09:57,599 --> 00:09:59,540
and I keep 'em near my butt

405
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:01,919
until I can leave and go
to my car and take 'em out.

406
00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:02,980
- Your kids come outta your butt.

407
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:03,813
- Uh-huh.

408
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:04,646
- Okay.

409
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,028
Let's go ahead and let's
maybe take a look at these.

410
00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:06,861
Oh, okay.

411
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:07,694
Hey.

412
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,527
(box rattles)

413
00:10:08,527 --> 00:10:09,360
Fun.

414
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,193
What are these?

415
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,239
- I have postpartum
depression every single day.

416
00:10:12,239 --> 00:10:13,746
400 times a day.

417
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,238
This is a PSA.

418
00:10:15,238 --> 00:10:16,506
Breaking news.
(dramatic music)

419
00:10:16,506 --> 00:10:17,339
- We can't do that.

420
00:10:17,339 --> 00:10:19,661
- Postpartum depression

421
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:20,776
is real.

422
00:10:20,776 --> 00:10:22,248
- [Vic] Yeah.
- And I,

423
00:10:22,248 --> 00:10:23,368
Double breaking news.
(dramatic music)

424
00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:24,201
- [Vic] We can't do that.
- At 11,

425
00:10:24,201 --> 00:10:25,034
- so there's no,

426
00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:25,867
it's not
- I have

427
00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:26,917
- [Vic] There's no scroll.
- postpartum depression.

428
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:27,975
- [Vic] We're gonna move on.

429
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:28,849
Hey, look at this.

430
00:10:28,849 --> 00:10:31,208
We got a passport and some lip gloss.

431
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:33,677
- It's a shade I would never normally do,

432
00:10:33,677 --> 00:10:35,848
but I bought it to be experimental.

433
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:36,681
- I love that.

434
00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:39,299
- I practiced my model walk in the mirror.

435
00:10:39,299 --> 00:10:40,132
- Can I see it?

436
00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:41,277
- You wanna see my model walk?

437
00:10:41,277 --> 00:10:42,589
- I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

438
00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:43,422
- Okay.

439
00:10:43,422 --> 00:10:44,496
- Show me yours.
- [Vic] Okay.

440
00:10:44,496 --> 00:10:45,571
Okay, ready?
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah.

441
00:10:45,571 --> 00:10:47,614
Uh-Oh.
(Mother Hotdog claps)

442
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,447
- Okay, here we go.

443
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:49,421
Ready? Here we go.

444
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:50,479
Here's my model walk.

445
00:10:50,479 --> 00:10:53,696
(runway music)

446
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,183
- That was really ghoulish.

447
00:11:00,183 --> 00:11:01,016
- [Vic] Do you mean that?
- That was good.

448
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:02,562
- Maybe two of us will be
walking at Fashion Week.

449
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,987
(Mother Hotdog cheers)

450
00:11:03,987 --> 00:11:04,870
- Okay, you wanna see mine?

451
00:11:04,870 --> 00:11:05,777
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

452
00:11:05,777 --> 00:11:06,694
Here we go.

453
00:11:08,863 --> 00:11:10,075
- You okay, Mother Hotdog?

454
00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:11,436
- [Mother Hotdog] Can you gimme some um,

455
00:11:11,436 --> 00:11:14,411
(hotdogs squish)
music that I feel good...

456
00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:16,206
- [Vic] What about- Oh, god.

457
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,039
Okay.

458
00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,256
Oh, I'm noticing you got
a couple of kids here.

459
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:20,089
Okay.

460
00:11:20,089 --> 00:11:20,922
Here.

461
00:11:20,922 --> 00:11:21,755
What do you want me to do with them?

462
00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:23,017
I'm not really like a parent type.

463
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:25,657
- It's important that they see me first.

464
00:11:25,657 --> 00:11:26,975
- Like a duckling.

465
00:11:26,975 --> 00:11:31,675
(smooches)

466
00:11:31,675 --> 00:11:32,569
- Sarah Beth.

467
00:11:32,569 --> 00:11:33,402
- Oh.

468
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,235
- Michael.

469
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,068
- Okay.

470
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:35,901
- And Luca.

471
00:11:35,901 --> 00:11:36,734
- You named them all?

472
00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:37,759
- They're Catholic.

473
00:11:37,759 --> 00:11:38,592
- (chuckles) Okay.

474
00:11:38,592 --> 00:11:40,030
- And I want you to have them.

475
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:40,863
- Really?

476
00:11:40,863 --> 00:11:41,696
- All right, gimme music.

477
00:11:41,696 --> 00:11:43,171
- Okay.

478
00:11:43,171 --> 00:11:46,572
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)

479
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:47,405
- Pick it up.

480
00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:50,233
(Vic sings faster)
(melodic music)

481
00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:51,358
Faster.
(Mother Hotdog farts)

482
00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:53,334
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)

483
00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:54,167
Faster

484
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:56,594
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)

485
00:11:56,594 --> 00:11:57,705
John.

486
00:11:57,705 --> 00:12:02,705
(Vic sings)
(melodic music)

487
00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:10,097
(hotdogs squish)

488
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:15,097
(Vic singing)
(melodic music)

489
00:12:22,814 --> 00:12:23,772
(Mother Hotdog farts)

490
00:12:23,772 --> 00:12:28,647
(Vic sings)
(soft rhythmic music)

491
00:12:29,945 --> 00:12:30,778
Gabriel.

492
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:31,726
(smooch)

493
00:12:31,726 --> 00:12:33,265
Eli.
(smooch)

494
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,545
Jesus.
(smooch)

495
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,053
- Jesus?

496
00:12:36,053 --> 00:12:41,053
(Vic sings)
(rhythmic music)

497
00:12:46,109 --> 00:12:51,109
(Vic sings)
(rhythmic music)

498
00:13:04,202 --> 00:13:05,393
- [Vic] Okay, I think we,

499
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,251
I think we got that.

500
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:07,084
You nailed that.

501
00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:07,917
- [Mother Hotdog] You do?

502
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:08,750
- That was incredible.

503
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:09,583
And I don't just say that.

504
00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:10,416
I see a lot of people on the show

505
00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:11,463
and a lot of them, they're
like, how's my walk?

506
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:12,296
And I'm like, oh good.

507
00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:13,129
And I don't mean it.

508
00:13:13,129 --> 00:13:13,962
I'm kind of lying to them.

509
00:13:13,962 --> 00:13:14,872
But that, honestly,

510
00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:17,434
and I mean it, was amazing.

511
00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:18,540
- That's so nice.

512
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,373
- [Vic] Yeah.

513
00:13:19,373 --> 00:13:20,206
Oh, my God.

514
00:13:20,206 --> 00:13:21,864
Okay.

515
00:13:21,864 --> 00:13:22,697
(smooch)

516
00:13:22,697 --> 00:13:23,530
- God.
- [Vic] Oh, God.

517
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:24,744
And so, you go ahead and sit down.

518
00:13:24,744 --> 00:13:26,095
- I'm a model.

519
00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:27,066
- [Vic] You are a model.

520
00:13:27,066 --> 00:13:29,935
And I think a model walk
needs a model purse.

521
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,034
Let's have a PA fly in our new purse.

522
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:32,867
- Whoa!

523
00:13:32,867 --> 00:13:35,615
The free stuff is already rolling in.

524
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,626
- Can you picture this, sort of,

525
00:13:36,626 --> 00:13:38,591
walking down the runway
at New York Fashion Week?

526
00:13:38,591 --> 00:13:40,396
- It looks like a carabiner.

527
00:13:40,396 --> 00:13:41,229
Thank you.

528
00:13:41,229 --> 00:13:42,062
- So, we can go ahead

529
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:44,803
and we can put all of your
things in your new purse.

530
00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:45,636
- Wow.

531
00:13:45,636 --> 00:13:46,975
- And this, we can just sorta,

532
00:13:46,975 --> 00:13:48,404
(purse tumbles)
- This is the model life,

533
00:13:48,404 --> 00:13:49,237
right?

534
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,316
- Free stuff.
- [Vic] Don't look at that.

535
00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:51,895
- Wine flowing freely.

536
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:52,728
- If you don't mind,

537
00:13:52,728 --> 00:13:54,054
I'd like to ask you some
rapid fire questions.

538
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:55,044
- You've earned my trust.

539
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,366
(melodic music)

540
00:13:57,366 --> 00:14:00,276
- Do you floss after or
before you brush your teeth?

541
00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:01,946
- I floss on the dance floor.

542
00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:02,967
- [Vic] (chuckles) Okay.

543
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,295
Have you ever had surgery?

544
00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:07,276
- I mean, I guess I've had like

545
00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:08,109
four

546
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:10,597
million C-sections.

547
00:14:10,597 --> 00:14:11,530
- Is a doctor involved at all?

548
00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,363
- No.

549
00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:13,196
- [Vic] A medical professional?

550
00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:14,338
- [Mother Hotdog] Home birth.
- And by yourself?

551
00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:15,171
- By myself.

552
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,177
- A single mom.
- Single mom.

553
00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:18,108
And single hotdogs don't get any respect.

554
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,565
- I know that's true.

555
00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:20,407
Ex,

556
00:14:20,407 --> 00:14:21,857
single ex stepparents also get,

557
00:14:21,857 --> 00:14:24,095
absolutely, no respect, anywhere.

558
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:25,508
Is the bun a part of it?

559
00:14:25,508 --> 00:14:26,341
Sorry.
- Huh?

560
00:14:26,341 --> 00:14:28,153
- Well, I was wondering if the
bun is a part of your body.

561
00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:28,986
- This is clothes.

562
00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:30,472
This is facial moisturizer.

563
00:14:30,472 --> 00:14:32,233
- This is facial moisturizer.

564
00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:33,404
- Did you just touch this?

565
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:34,252
- (chuckles) No.

566
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:36,103
I sort of pointed close.

567
00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:36,936
Sorry.

568
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:39,382
What do you-

569
00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:40,393
That's fine by me.

570
00:14:40,393 --> 00:14:42,164
Is this not okay for you?

571
00:14:42,164 --> 00:14:42,997
Oh, sorry.

572
00:14:42,997 --> 00:14:43,830
- Are you touching it?

573
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:44,663
- [Vic] No, I'm not.

574
00:14:44,663 --> 00:14:45,496
You know what, we're gonna go
ahead and move on from that.

575
00:14:45,496 --> 00:14:46,980
Okay, last, but certainly not at least,

576
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:48,780
something that I ask each
and every one of my guests,

577
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,988
what is the meaning of life?

578
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:53,750
- Well, if you had asked me
this before this interview,

579
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:55,598
I would've said, there is none.

580
00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:57,809
Three, two, one.

581
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:58,642
Goodbye.

582
00:14:58,642 --> 00:14:59,475
- Goodbye.

583
00:14:59,475 --> 00:15:01,700
- Then if you had asked me
slightly at the beginning,

584
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,058
I would've said,

585
00:15:03,058 --> 00:15:04,340
it's Catholicism.

586
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:05,448
Jesus is the way.

587
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,318
We have to follow God's orders.

588
00:15:07,318 --> 00:15:08,710
If you'd asked me slightly after that,

589
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:11,649
I would've said, atheism rocks.

590
00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:12,860
Forget God.

591
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,740
Eschew religion.

592
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:15,573
It's faith.

593
00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:17,367
If you would've asked
me slightly after that,

594
00:15:17,367 --> 00:15:19,929
I would've said, Jesus is our savior.

595
00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:23,190
We have to protect him and
listen to all of his ways.

596
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,023
- Mother Hotdog.

597
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,669
I asked you right now,

598
00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:26,717
in this moment,

599
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,178
what is the meaning of life?

600
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:30,709
- The meaning of life is

601
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,042
to reach a place

602
00:15:32,887 --> 00:15:34,418
where you can understand

603
00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:37,597
how your past has affected your present.

604
00:15:37,597 --> 00:15:39,709
But you do not let it stop you.

605
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:43,349
Instead you find a new path forward

606
00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:47,309
and you create the life you
always envision for yourself.

607
00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:49,476
- That's really beautiful.

608
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,058
Are you sleeping?

609
00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:53,225
Mother Hotdog?

610
00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:56,070
- Are you touching this?

611
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:56,903
- (chuckles) No, I'm not.

612
00:15:56,903 --> 00:15:59,108
I just sort of went there
and I went, there, there.

613
00:15:59,108 --> 00:15:59,941
Okay.

614
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:00,774
And that's totally fine.

615
00:16:00,774 --> 00:16:02,332
We have the new bag.

616
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:03,929
We have the new walk.

617
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,287
- [Mother Hotdog] Eh.
- Now it's time

618
00:16:05,287 --> 00:16:06,377
for the new look.

619
00:16:06,377 --> 00:16:08,025
We're gonna do a whole skincare treatment.

620
00:16:08,025 --> 00:16:08,858
(Mother Hotdog gasps)

621
00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:10,217
Let's fly in the supplies.

622
00:16:10,217 --> 00:16:11,336
(Mother Hotdog screams)

623
00:16:11,336 --> 00:16:13,257
(melodic music)

624
00:16:13,257 --> 00:16:15,385
Here, you can hold, sort of, this mirror.

625
00:16:15,385 --> 00:16:16,953
I think we're gonna
start off with some mist.

626
00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,077
(bottle squirts)

627
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,279
So, that's lotion.

628
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,204
(bottle squirts)

629
00:16:20,204 --> 00:16:21,037
Sort of.

630
00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:21,870
Oh, right down the belly,

631
00:16:21,870 --> 00:16:22,703
sort of on the bib.

632
00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:25,575
But here is a, sort, of like
a broad spectrum sunscreen.

633
00:16:25,575 --> 00:16:27,004
(bottle squirts)

634
00:16:27,004 --> 00:16:28,705
And so, that didn't come out correctly.

635
00:16:28,705 --> 00:16:29,684
And, normally, I'd be so mad,

636
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,135
but we're chill and I
took some deep breaths.

637
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:32,184
So, we're gonna do that.

638
00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:33,017
Okay.

639
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:33,850
We're just gonna do a little bit of this

640
00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:34,858
and we're gonna do it in circles.

641
00:16:34,858 --> 00:16:35,691
Oh, my God.

642
00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:36,524
Look at that.

643
00:16:36,524 --> 00:16:37,357
- Is it blending?

644
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:38,190
- Look in the mirror.

645
00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,023
Look in the mirror.

646
00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:39,856
I swear, look.

647
00:16:39,856 --> 00:16:40,689
(soothing music)
(Mother Hotdog gasps)

648
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:41,522
Do you see that shine?

649
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:42,355
- I look dewy.

650
00:16:42,355 --> 00:16:43,188
- You do.

651
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:44,381
Let's just do a little bit of,

652
00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:46,523
we, sort of, mixed in some moisturizer

653
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:49,204
with the mustard to, sort of,
get the color code going on.

654
00:16:49,204 --> 00:16:50,191
And then I,
- See.

655
00:16:50,191 --> 00:16:52,123
Here's a public service
announce, by the way.

656
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:52,956
- Okay.

657
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:53,789
- Amber alert.

658
00:16:53,789 --> 00:16:54,622
(alarm sounds)
- We can't do,

659
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,531
- Hotdogs like mustard.

660
00:16:56,531 --> 00:16:58,532
This is the one thing
that's actually nice for us.

661
00:16:58,532 --> 00:16:59,492
- [Vic] Amber alert?

662
00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:00,643
- Silver alert.

663
00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:02,301
(alarm sounds)
- No, don't,

664
00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:03,734
- Give hotdogs mustard.

665
00:17:03,734 --> 00:17:04,567
- Let's go ahead

666
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:05,666
and let's blend this in with
some more of your mustard.

667
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:06,850
- [Mother Hotdog] Yeah, please.

668
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:07,683
- Here we go.

669
00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:08,833
Oh, look at that color.

670
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:09,666
- Is it good?

671
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:10,972
- It's beautiful.

672
00:17:10,972 --> 00:17:12,051
You wanna do something for me?

673
00:17:12,051 --> 00:17:13,073
- I would love to.

674
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,823
(soothing music)

675
00:17:20,063 --> 00:17:22,563
(brush plops)

676
00:17:23,972 --> 00:17:24,805
- How does it look?

677
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:25,692
- Oh, my God.

678
00:17:25,692 --> 00:17:27,313
You are looking like a hotdog.

679
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,423
- Is it blended?

680
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,256
- Hold on.

681
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,473
(soothing music)

682
00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:31,364
Okay.
- Okay.

683
00:17:31,364 --> 00:17:32,425
- We have a base layer.

684
00:17:32,425 --> 00:17:33,258
- [Vic] Okay.

685
00:17:33,258 --> 00:17:35,366
- And now some of the,
- [Vic] Oh, my gosh.

686
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:36,380
- some of the sunscreen.

687
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,213
- Oh, man.

688
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:40,310
It's almost like there's
something that's burning my eyes.

689
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,169
Is that a good feeling?

690
00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:42,002
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

691
00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:42,835
- Okay.

692
00:17:42,835 --> 00:17:43,668
- Exfoliating.

693
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:44,501
- Okay.

694
00:17:44,501 --> 00:17:45,449
(soothing music)

695
00:17:45,449 --> 00:17:46,282
- Okay.

696
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:47,115
And then hold on.

697
00:17:47,115 --> 00:17:48,420
(Vic sputters)

698
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:49,519
- Is there a horseradish?

699
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:50,352
(Vic coughs)

700
00:17:50,352 --> 00:17:52,209
- Do you mind painting my nails?

701
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,249
- I would love to paint your nails.

702
00:17:53,249 --> 00:17:54,199
And will you paint my nails?

703
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,139
- Yeah.

704
00:17:55,139 --> 00:17:56,580
That's so good.

705
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,578
- I think that one's perfect.

706
00:17:57,578 --> 00:17:58,411
And now my turn.

707
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,509
(soothing music)

708
00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:00,342
Oh, my God.

709
00:18:00,342 --> 00:18:01,649
This color is stunning on you.

710
00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:02,898
- Stop it. Are you sure?

711
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:03,915
- I swear to God.

712
00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:05,081
- It doesn't look like ketchup?

713
00:18:05,081 --> 00:18:05,914
- No, it doesn't.

714
00:18:05,914 --> 00:18:06,747
Go show the camera.

715
00:18:06,747 --> 00:18:09,840
(soothing music)

716
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:10,749
(Mother Hotdog giggles)

717
00:18:10,749 --> 00:18:12,489
- I feel beautiful.

718
00:18:12,489 --> 00:18:14,009
And you sure it doesn't look like ketchup?

719
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,071
- I'm 1000% positive it
doesn't look like ketchup.

720
00:18:16,071 --> 00:18:17,429
It looks like a beautiful model

721
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,950
that's about to walk in
New York Fashion Week.

722
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:21,017
(soothing music)

723
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:21,850
- Thank you.

724
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:22,683
- You're welcome.

725
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:23,521
- Because terror alert,

726
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:24,618
(alarm beeps)

727
00:18:24,618 --> 00:18:25,451
- Hotdogs
- No, you can't say

728
00:18:25,451 --> 00:18:26,645
- don't like ketchup.
- terror alert.

729
00:18:26,645 --> 00:18:28,367
I think the mustard got my eyes.

730
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:29,200
- Is that true?

731
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,033
- Yeah.

732
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,506
But it was worth it.

733
00:18:32,506 --> 00:18:35,188
(serene music)

734
00:18:35,188 --> 00:18:36,021
- Vic.

735
00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:37,127
- Yes.

736
00:18:37,127 --> 00:18:39,207
- You taught me I'm more than a mother.

737
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:40,040
- [Vic] Okay.

738
00:18:41,596 --> 00:18:42,856
- I'm a woman.

739
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,936
- I'm so glad that I
could do that for you.

740
00:18:44,936 --> 00:18:46,078
- I'm a hotdog.

741
00:18:46,078 --> 00:18:47,096
I'm a woman.

742
00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:48,678
I'm a hot, hotdog.

743
00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:52,578
- You are a hot, hotdog. (laughs)

744
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:53,638
- Yeah.

745
00:18:53,638 --> 00:18:54,568
Um,

746
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,307
(soothing music)

747
00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,146
- Oh.
- And it's been so nice

748
00:18:58,146 --> 00:18:59,358
to feel that again.

749
00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:00,191
- [Vic] Right.

750
00:19:00,191 --> 00:19:01,024
Oh.

751
00:19:01,024 --> 00:19:03,028
Oh, I see.

752
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:03,947
No.

753
00:19:03,947 --> 00:19:04,867
- What?

754
00:19:04,867 --> 00:19:05,700
- No.

755
00:19:07,742 --> 00:19:08,583
No.

756
00:19:08,583 --> 00:19:09,416
- [Mother Hotdog] But I thought,

757
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,859
- Well, like in a friend way.

758
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,807
- You kept touching my belly.

759
00:19:12,807 --> 00:19:13,640
- Yeah, no.

760
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,230
So, because I was like,
oh, we gotta rub that.

761
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:16,520
I was like, we gotta rub that in.

762
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,348
- You, literally, just
touched, but my clitoris.

763
00:19:19,348 --> 00:19:20,818
- That's your clitoris?

764
00:19:20,818 --> 00:19:21,651
You know what?

765
00:19:21,651 --> 00:19:22,484
I'm so sorry.

766
00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:23,568
I thought it was like, oh, we're friends.

767
00:19:23,568 --> 00:19:24,401
You know what I mean?

768
00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:25,234
I thought it was like a friends thing.

769
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:26,320
Sort of, like I was helping you

770
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,153
and I like,

771
00:19:27,153 --> 00:19:29,248
and I fixed you as I fixed
many people on this show.

772
00:19:29,248 --> 00:19:30,920
And so, I thought that was, sort of,

773
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,000
what was happening here.

774
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,030
- Oh.

775
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,568
- It happens, truly, all the time.

776
00:19:34,568 --> 00:19:35,401
- No, it doesn't.

777
00:19:35,401 --> 00:19:36,590
- Don't worry about that.

778
00:19:36,590 --> 00:19:37,573
- Yeah.
- Okay.

779
00:19:37,573 --> 00:19:38,706
- No, I'm not worried.

780
00:19:38,706 --> 00:19:39,539
- Okay.

781
00:19:39,539 --> 00:19:40,372
So, we'll, sort of,

782
00:19:40,372 --> 00:19:41,205
And we'll,

783
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:42,038
And that's our show.

784
00:19:42,038 --> 00:19:42,871
(upbeat music)

785
00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:45,122
I'm Vic Michaelis, reminding
you to be true to yourself

786
00:19:45,122 --> 00:19:47,482
unless you'd rather be somebody else.

787
00:19:47,482 --> 00:19:48,315
Good night.

788
00:19:48,315 --> 00:19:49,258
(upbeat music)

789
00:19:49,258 --> 00:19:50,610
(Mother Hotdog plops)

790
00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,193
(upbeat music)

791
00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:57,039
Not again.

792
00:19:57,039 --> 00:19:59,042
(Vic sighs)

793
00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:01,625
(upbeat music)

794
00:20:19,029 --> 00:20:22,446
(upbeat music continues)

795
00:20:39,497 --> 00:20:40,788
(upbeat music ends)

796
00:20:40,788 --> 00:20:42,138
- Great first day.

797
00:20:42,138 --> 00:20:44,208
Amazing first day.

798
00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:45,041
So, crew,

799
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,009
So, quick announcement.

800
00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:46,842
Yes.

801
00:20:46,842 --> 00:20:47,675
Yes,

802
00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:48,999
I was spending the last six months

803
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,799
hosting the "Unipod Pomaz,

804
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:52,498
Hungarian English
Language Weather Minute",

805
00:20:52,498 --> 00:20:53,551
just outside of Budapest.

806
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:55,991
And it was lovely and it was
a life changing experience.

807
00:20:55,991 --> 00:20:57,847
I did decide to leave that job,

808
00:20:57,847 --> 00:20:59,868
even though they were
like begging me to stay,

809
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:00,740
they really wanted me there,

810
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,865
to come back here.

811
00:21:01,865 --> 00:21:02,698
And why?

812
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:06,151
Because there was an extra
year left on my contract

813
00:21:06,151 --> 00:21:07,529
and they, sort of, said, "stay.

814
00:21:07,529 --> 00:21:08,362
If you wanna stay, stay."

815
00:21:08,362 --> 00:21:09,210
And I said, "no.

816
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,110
You need me here.

817
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:10,943
You need me here."

818
00:21:10,943 --> 00:21:11,789
And they said, "we don't."

819
00:21:11,789 --> 00:21:14,031
And I said, "that is your anger talking.

820
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:16,490
That is your fear of
what could be talking."

821
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:17,962
And so, here we are.

822
00:21:17,962 --> 00:21:18,802
And we're making it work.

823
00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:19,690
And we're doing it.

824
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:20,692
And we love it.

825
00:21:20,692 --> 00:21:21,922
And we're all happy and we're all smiling.

826
00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:23,842
So, if we could all be
smiling a little bit more,

827
00:21:23,842 --> 00:21:26,002
I think that's gonna make us feel better.

828
00:21:26,002 --> 00:21:28,388
(stars chime)