1 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,924 [waves crashing] 2 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,275 [upbeat music playing] 3 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,077 Sorry I'm late. 4 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,080 Where are the kids? 5 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,831 Uh, when I left, 6 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:24,584 Hunter was making love with his iPad on the terrace 7 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,211 and Tori was ordering room service like her life depended on it. 8 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,838 I made dinner reservations. 9 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,048 What are you gonna do? 10 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,092 Best laid plans. 11 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:36,096 - Hi, I will have a Negroni, please. - Sure. 12 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,557 - Oh, wow. - It's my vacation drink. 13 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,560 [chuckles] I thought too much rosé was your vacation drink. 14 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,939 Yeah, so I guess Negronis are my "vacation is over" drink. 15 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,815 Reentry's a bitch. 16 00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,276 I don't wanna go home. 17 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,527 Hey, we're here till we're not. 18 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,487 - What? Thank you. - [bartender] Negroni for the lady. 19 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,031 - Enjoy. - That's my vacation philosophy. 20 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,408 Wow, Coop, that's deep. 21 00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:59,285 You know that actually doesn't mean anything, right? 22 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,204 It will after your second Negroni. 23 00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,705 I may switch to mezcal. 24 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,708 - Famous last words. [chuckles] - [chuckles] 25 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,668 There will be others. 26 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,212 Last words? 27 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,589 No, vacations like this. 28 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,133 You think? 29 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,134 We're here till we're not. 30 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,678 Oh, my God. Make it stop. 31 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,182 Think about it. We've been very evolved… 32 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,308 doing something like this. 33 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,185 Easier when we're not sleeping with each other's friends. 34 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,396 - Hey, you did it first. - You were charged with murder. 35 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,397 Fair. 36 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,066 - Can I have another one please? - Wow. 37 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,235 [bartender] Sí, señora. 38 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,444 Put that down quick. 39 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,239 Miles to go before I sleep. 40 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,783 We're 50, Coop. 41 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,243 - Damn. - [chuckles] 42 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,662 I really thought I'd have it all figured out by now 43 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,581 or at least I thought I wouldn't be starting from scratch. 44 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:49,377 Listen, this time last year, I was looking at life in prison. 45 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:52,630 And we could have lost everything, so I think we're doing okay. 46 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,007 What you're saying is, you lowered the bar. 47 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,553 - I obliterated the bar. There is no bar. - [laughs] 48 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,849 Let's get very, very, very drunk. 49 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,852 Okay. 50 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,071 [sucks teeth] 51 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,990 [clicks tongue] Did I interrupt that? 52 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,700 [chuckles] Not at all. 53 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,660 Sitting here drinking Negronis. You're looking to get laid. 54 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,538 - Not my type. - Bullshit. 55 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,081 I would do her. 56 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,499 Really? 57 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,252 I mean, if that's the case, I-I really wasn't prepared for that. 58 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,212 I just, uh… I can rally. 59 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,548 - You know, we're all consenting adults. - In your dreams. 60 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,592 - I've had that dream. - Don't let me get in your way. 61 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,343 You're not in my way. You're not getting in my way. 62 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:40,678 I mean, you're on vacation. 63 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,971 If that's what you want to do, 64 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,432 - damn it, you should do it. - That's not what I want to do. 65 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,934 I mean, the kids bailed. It's your last night. 66 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,020 We managed to make it through the entire trip 67 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,313 without falling into bed together. 68 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,232 - Yay for us, by the way. - Yay for us. 69 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,525 This is America. 70 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,320 - Mexico, actually. - She's hot, you're well-preserved. 71 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:58,571 [chuckles] Thank you. 72 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,033 And if you wanna get yourself some, you should get yourself some. 73 00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,161 If I wanted to do anything, I would have done it already. 74 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,123 That easy, is it? 75 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:14,086 - Yeah. I'm gonna go. - Where you going? 76 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,464 What-What-What just happened? 77 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,674 - Nothing happened. You're good. - I'm good? 78 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,803 - You say that, but-- - I'm not gonna sit here and… 79 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:24,722 cockblock you. 80 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,016 I feel like this conversation just took a left turn. 81 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,727 And you'd be right about that. 82 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,525 Hey, I got us a table at Flora Farms. 83 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,069 Do you have any idea how hard that was? 84 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,029 Best laid plans, right? 85 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,160 [Coop] There was a moment when going on vacation 86 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,120 with my ex-wife seemed inconceivable. 87 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,622 [fireworks exploding] 88 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,917 Turns out, there was good reason for that. 89 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,628 But even having another argument with Mel that I didn't fully understand 90 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,798 couldn't stop me from relishing the fact that I was drinking smooth whiskey 91 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:03,928 on the beach at a five-star resort when I could've been serving 25 to life. 92 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,515 All things considered, things were on the upswing. 93 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,768 This is what happens… 94 00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:11,978 You get arrested for murder. 95 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,187 You get exonerated. 96 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:16,315 You get offered your old job back, but you decide to go a different way, 97 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,068 burning that bridge once and for all. 98 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,906 Which means your interim income source is now your primary income source. 99 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,075 So, you level up 100 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,202 and mend fences. 101 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:31,331 Nothing buries the hatchet faster than a solid revenue stream. 102 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,627 But in a town where perception is nine-tenths of the law, 103 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,754 you wanna keep up appearances. 104 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,757 Like having an office in Manhattan to go to work in every day. 105 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,552 Which helps get your co-parenting back on track. 106 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,554 Let's go. 107 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,140 [tires screech] 108 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,101 [Coop] And now that life is feeling manageable, 109 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,228 you can finally enjoy being single. 110 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:55,522 ♪ Hold tight ♪ 111 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,483 ♪ We're in for nasty weather ♪ 112 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:03,405 ♪ There has got to be a way ♪ 113 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:06,115 ♪ Burning down the house ♪ 114 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,868 Which means nights on the town. 115 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,829 And nights spent at home. 116 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,456 ["Burning Down the House" playing] 117 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,541 ♪ Watch out You might get what you're after ♪ 118 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:19,462 ♪ Cool babies Strange but not a stranger ♪ 119 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:23,382 ♪ I'm an ordinary guy ♪ 120 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,011 [moaning] 121 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:32,141 [Coop] You couldn't say if it was being arrested for murder or exonerated, 122 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:36,522 but somehow the entire tawdry episode has boosted your social cachet. 123 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,190 Not so much for Sam Levitt. 124 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,903 Her lawyer managed to plead her down to a hefty fine and community service. 125 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,697 She may have gotten off easy, 126 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,783 but there's another law in Westmont Village. 127 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:49,951 [chattering, laughing] 128 00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,079 And that particular court shows no mercy. 129 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,790 Life is better than it's been for a while. 130 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,292 The family dynamic is more or less working. 131 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,836 Your kids are thriving. 132 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:02,129 And if there are moments where the simmering pain 133 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,925 of your fractured family still threatens to kick your ass… 134 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,761 well, that's where those nights I mentioned before come in. 135 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,972 [moaning] 136 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:14,892 [Coop] And failing that, there's always scotch and a classic movie. 137 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,604 [characters chattering on TV] 138 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,983 [Coop] You're finally feeling comfortable again. 139 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:25,028 In control. Safe. Optimistic even. 140 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,704 And as you already know from painful experience, 141 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:38,876 that's generally when life will serve up a perfectly aimed kick in the crotch. 142 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,818 [broker] Mr. Ashe. 143 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,528 Hi. Reenie Hudson. We spoke on the phone. 144 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,946 - Hi, Reenie. How are ya? - Hi. 145 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,656 Wow, nice car. 146 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,074 Oh, you a car person? 147 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,368 - I mean, not exactly. [chuckles] - Oh, that's small talk. 148 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,455 - Small talk, sorry. Thank you. - Yeah. Okay, after you. 149 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,838 Hello. 150 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,965 Hi. Are you the listing broker? 151 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,426 - Yes. Samantha Levitt. [chuckles] - Hi. Owen Ashe. 152 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,010 You don't look like a… a realtor. 153 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,930 - Oh. [laughs] - I mean that in the best possible way. 154 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,473 Oh, I'm kinda new to it. 155 00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,351 - Oh, hey, Reenie. - Hey, Samantha. 156 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,144 [chuckles] 157 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,729 So, Mr. Ashe, should I show you around the house? 158 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,648 - Oh, just Ashe. - Okay, Ashe. 159 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:46,526 Uh, yeah. I would, uh… Yeah, I'd love that. 160 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,361 But honestly, I don't wanna waste your time 161 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:52,114 'cause I just feel like there's no world in which I'm buying this house. 162 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,366 Oh, well, that was quick. 163 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:56,494 No, it's just too small. Yeah, I mean, it's… it's way too small actually. 164 00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:58,037 I mean, I'm standing here and… 165 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,456 I don't know, I can already feel the entire house, you know? 166 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,625 I want something I can get lost in. 167 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,962 And this, yeah, I don't know. Some of these design elements… 168 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,089 Yuck. 169 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:08,966 Yeah, I don't know. 170 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:12,176 I was pretty clear I was looking for something much grander, you know? 171 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,804 With a lot more oomph, some wow. 172 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,473 - But this place isn't even remotely-- - It's my house. 173 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,392 - It's your house? - Mm-hmm. 174 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,811 That would have been great information to have before I arrived. 175 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:25,649 [chuckles] I didn't know if she was disclosing that fact, considering the… 176 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,608 the circumstances. 177 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,819 The circumstances? 178 00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:31,654 What Reenie is so subtly referring to 179 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:34,282 is the fact that my husband died here last year. 180 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,076 Oh, wow. Well, I'm sorry for your loss. 181 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,202 Thank you. 182 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,038 Well, my wife died eight years ago, so, you know, I'm in the club. 183 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,416 - [Samantha] I'm sorry for your loss. - Oh, thank you. 184 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,835 How did he die? 185 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,503 He killed himself. 186 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:50,215 - What, here in the house? - Pretty much right where you're standing. 187 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,093 Wait a minute. This is that house? That whole thing? 188 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,887 - Mmm. Mm-hmm. - Yeah, it made the news. 189 00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,513 They arrested you. 190 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,598 Yes. 191 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,350 - [Ashe] You're a dangerous woman. - [Samantha, Ashe chuckling] 192 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,394 Hey, I've had a couple brushes with the law myself. 193 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,230 Then I guess we're both in that club too. 194 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,481 - I guess so. - [chuckles] 195 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,609 Okay. Well, um, Mr. Ashe, 196 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,402 - we should probably get going. - Yeah, yeah. 197 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,029 Hey, uh, Samantha. 198 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,281 Why would a broker who knows I'm in a different league 199 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,491 show me this house? 200 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,038 It's her fluffer house. 201 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,164 - A fluffer house? - Mmm. 202 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:26,167 [scoffs] Now, that's… that's not a thing. 203 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,212 It makes the next houses she shows you look even bigger 204 00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:30,755 and grander by comparison. 205 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,882 - No, no, no. - I see. 206 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,676 I like to educate my clients about the entire market 207 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,345 before they consider a purchase. 208 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,971 Is that something you do? 209 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,015 Uh, hard to say. 210 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,892 No one in this town will give me a listing. 211 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:44,644 [Ashe] What? Why not? 212 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,980 Oh, right. The whole convicted felon thing. 213 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,358 It was pleaded down to a few misdemeanors actually. 214 00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:52,485 - That's great. Good for you. - Thank you. [chuckles] 215 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,487 - Will you give me a minute? - Sure. 216 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,696 - Reenie. - Yeah? 217 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,658 Yeah, do you mind if I chat with you for a sec? 218 00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:04,873 [Reenie, Ashe speak indistinctly] 219 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,472 That's a 750S, right? 220 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,561 - Yeah. - It's a good car. 221 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,813 - Yes, it is. - [chuckles] 222 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:29,940 Hey, um… 223 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,817 I'm suddenly finding myself in need of a realtor. 224 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,069 How's your day looking? 225 00:11:41,493 --> 00:11:42,536 [sighs] 226 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:44,745 - Yes. - Hey, Reenie. 227 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,497 You have the listing for the Bisbee estate, right? 228 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,042 - Yes, but this is not okay. - Can you get us in in about ten minutes? 229 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,335 [sighs] 230 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:52,461 - Sure. - Great. 231 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,005 - I was planning to take-- - We're all set. 232 00:11:54,006 --> 00:11:55,632 Nice. Let's take my car. 233 00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,384 - Hey, Samantha-- - Sam. 234 00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,094 Okay, Sam. 235 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,430 I was just wondering, how many houses have you actually sold? 236 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:05,309 Including this one, uh, none. 237 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,603 Great. 238 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,950 [theme song playing] 239 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:30,166 {\an8}♪ A paper shadow In a house of stone ♪ 240 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:35,296 {\an8}♪ The wooden flag Of a drifting dreamboat ♪ 241 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:39,509 {\an8}♪ I never knew How far the ride was gonna go ♪ 242 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:43,054 {\an8}♪ Till I looked back At the smoke ♪ 243 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:48,309 {\an8}♪ You can't keep up With the Joneses ♪ 244 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:53,231 {\an8}♪ Don't wanna run For the roses ♪ 245 00:12:53,232 --> 00:12:58,486 {\an8}♪ I got my pocket of posies ♪ 246 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:03,616 {\an8}♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪ 247 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:08,829 {\an8}♪ I just don't run With the Joneses ♪ 248 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:13,960 {\an8}♪ Don't wanna smell The dying roses ♪ 249 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:19,048 {\an8}♪ I got my pocket Full of posies ♪ 250 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:24,012 {\an8}♪ I don't keep up With the Joneses ♪ 251 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,380 I'm Jeff Pratt, with the Princeton Alumni Schools Committee, 252 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,882 and I'll be conducting your interview. 253 00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,009 Mmm. Got it. 254 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,052 I know your parents from back in the day. 255 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,220 - Are they well? - Yes. 256 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:07,305 - Yeah. - Yeah. 257 00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:10,058 So, Tori. Tell me, why Princeton? 258 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,728 Aside from the fact that both your parents went there. 259 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,354 That's not enough? 260 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,191 Well, um, put another way, 261 00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:22,029 what is it you're looking to get out of your four years with us? 262 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:25,698 Oh, are you… are you on the faculty there? 263 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,868 - What? No. - I just assumed when you said "us." 264 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,872 - Sorry. [chuckles] Figure of speech. - [chuckles] Oh, okay. 265 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,043 There's no need to be nervous. 266 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,128 It's just us talking here. 267 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,840 Well, first of all, Jeff, 268 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:47,262 I think we should acknowledge the pro forma nature of this interview. 269 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:52,851 I'm a legacy kid, on both sides, whose father has been a consistent donor. 270 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,269 And the reason he's been a consistent donor, 271 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:59,148 the reason so many graduates of the Ivies continue to support their alma maters, 272 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,443 is to make sure there's a spot for their kids there. 273 00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:03,861 Because, well, let's be honest, 274 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,656 there are much worthier charities to support. 275 00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,784 You all torched the planet in the name of capitalism, 276 00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:12,203 and now, rather than try to undo the damage 277 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,205 or feed the hungry or house the homeless, 278 00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:16,874 you're giving millions to 300-year-old institutions 279 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,671 riddled with systemic racism, anti-Semitism, and sexism, 280 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,548 in order to ensure that yet another generation 281 00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:26,843 of privileged rich kids will continue to hoard the lion's share 282 00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:29,762 of what's left of the planet's remaining resources, 283 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,266 while the unwashed masses go to war over the scraps. 284 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,352 So, I appreciate you taking the time, 285 00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:37,855 but let's be honest. 286 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,566 We both know I'm going to be accepted 287 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,403 because you all engineered the system to do just that. 288 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,410 I didn't engineer anything. 289 00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:53,579 Sorry. 290 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,789 Figure of speech. 291 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,211 Also, tennis. [chuckles] 292 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,673 - What? - I'm being recruited for tennis. 293 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:08,844 I probably should have led with that. 294 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:27,779 [Ashe] Now this is what I'm talkin' about! 295 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,834 - How much? - [Samantha] Twenty million. 296 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,129 - But I'm sure there's some wiggle room. - I'll take it. 297 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,339 Okay. 298 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,925 - [Reenie] So you're offering full asking? - Yeah, in cash. 299 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:50,593 But I wanna close by Monday. 300 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:51,719 - [Reenie] Monday? - Yeah. 301 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,679 We're gonna need at least a week for contracts. 302 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,348 Then you're gonna wanna do a thorough inspection-- 303 00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:57,642 I'm gonna have a whole team up here tomorrow to kick the tires. 304 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,602 In the meantime, you can get the paperwork to my lawyer. 305 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,229 Hey, congratulations. 306 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,147 - [chuckles] - You just sold your first house. 307 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:05,776 [chuckles] It… What is it you do again? 308 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:11,072 [Elena] "We elect a US senator for how many years?" 309 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,615 - [radio static] - Six. 310 00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:14,241 [Elena] Okay. [inhales sharply] 311 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:17,578 Name five of the original 13 states. 312 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,996 Colonies. 313 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,414 New York, New Jersey, 314 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,875 Connecticut, Massachusetts, 315 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,627 Rhode Island, Delaware, 316 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,505 New Hampshire, 317 00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:29,967 Maryland, Virginia, 318 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:33,594 Pennsylvania, Georgia. 319 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,555 That's 11. 320 00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:37,181 What am I forgetting? 321 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,643 - How do you know all this? - I watch a lot of Jeopardy! 322 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,816 [breathes deeply] 323 00:17:47,651 --> 00:17:49,987 Ah. Guess what? 324 00:17:50,529 --> 00:17:51,572 [Elena] What? 325 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,659 A drawer full of Cartier LOVE Bracelets. 326 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:57,577 [Elena scoffs, grunts] 327 00:17:57,578 --> 00:18:00,913 I'm telling you, every woman in this town wears like ten of them. 328 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,541 I don't get it. They wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same dress, 329 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,418 but they all need to have this one thing. 330 00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:07,336 It's like a requirement or something. 331 00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:10,089 You want me to grab you a couple? They'll never miss 'em. 332 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,632 That's not a club I need to join. 333 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,801 Okay? Just find the pen. 334 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:16,305 It's in the office behind the primary bedroom. 335 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,973 North and South Carolina. 336 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,058 - What? - The other two colonies. 337 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:24,062 [chuckles] Okay. Now you're just showing off. 338 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,488 [Coop] It's not in the desk. 339 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,994 Oh. Bingo. 340 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,163 Drawer full of pens. 341 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:47,752 Y-You sure he would keep something this valuable in a mess like this? 342 00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:50,546 Natalia says he gets a crazy expensive pen 343 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:53,090 every time he signs a deal and then just throws it in a drawer. 344 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,926 It's like some sort of ritual. 345 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:55,928 All right. 346 00:18:57,721 --> 00:18:58,722 Found it. 347 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,184 The Etoile de Montblanc Joailliere Fountain Pen. 348 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:05,102 With just 15 produced worldwide, 349 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:09,107 {\an8}this limited edition is crafted entirely out of 18-karat rose gold. 350 00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,652 Adorned with Cognac diamonds 351 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:16,364 and a nib that supposedly glides more smoothly than RIMOWA wheels, 352 00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:17,991 it's not just a pen 353 00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:24,163 {\an8}but an aspirational work of art reselling for $165,000. 354 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,581 I'm not sure what's worse. 355 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,375 That someone pays that for a pen 356 00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:30,253 or that he tosses it into a cluttered drawer with 30 others. 357 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,005 Either way, a guy like that deserves to lose it. 358 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,799 - Shit. - What? 359 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,926 I dropped the fucking thing. Hold on. Let me get it. 360 00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,554 [groans] I got it. 361 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:41,098 [grunts, groans] 362 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,599 Coop? What happened? 363 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,684 Coop? 364 00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:46,936 - [Coop groaning] - What is it? 365 00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:49,689 [groans] My back went out. [groaning] 366 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,524 It really fucking hurts. 367 00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,235 - [winces] I can't move. - What do you mean you can't move? 368 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,404 - Just get out here. - I mean I can't move. 369 00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:59,323 I… [panting] …I'm lying on my back. 370 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,700 You can't be serious, Coop. 371 00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:02,869 Do I sound like I'm fucking joking? 372 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,121 Shit. Okay. I'm coming in. 373 00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:06,999 No! [groans] 374 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:09,041 [narrating] My back had been seizing up 375 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,669 ever since Christian's art thugs worked me over last year. 376 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:14,839 Usually a cocktail of painkillers and muscle relaxants would do the trick, 377 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,591 and a few days later, I'd be golden. 378 00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,342 But I didn't have a few days. 379 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:21,179 I had less than two hours before the people who lived there would be back. 380 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,889 And when it came to thinking up an explanation 381 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,640 for how I came to be lying on their floor, 382 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:25,933 I was drawing a blank. 383 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,768 Okay. Shit. We gotta move. 384 00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,062 Okay. Okay. Just-Just help-help me up here. 385 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,564 - Okay. - Just, uh… 386 00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:33,065 [grunts, groans] Fuck, no. 387 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,193 - Sorry. Okay, okay, okay. - Fuck, fuck. Oh, no. 388 00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:36,903 [Coop breathes heavily] 389 00:20:36,904 --> 00:20:38,321 [groaning] 390 00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:41,073 [groans] God, you're like dead fucking weight. 391 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,660 - I can't move you. Can you crawl? - [sighs] No, I can't even roll over. 392 00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,829 - [sighs] This is crazy. - Just give me a few minutes. 393 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,539 - We don't have a few minutes. - Well, then go. 394 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,374 - I'll figure something out. - I'm not gonna bail on you. 395 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,792 Well, I can't move. 396 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,212 - We're gonna have to call someone. - No. No. 397 00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:56,172 - You can't move! - [groans] 398 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:59,550 - [grunts] Fuck! [groaning] Fuck. - Come on, Coop. 399 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,595 [panting] 400 00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:05,474 - We have to call someone. - No shit. 401 00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:08,560 - [panting] - Who? 402 00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:11,854 Okay. What the fuck? 403 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:14,315 I'll explain later. Can you… Can you just please help me up? 404 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:17,193 You'll explain what you're doing on the floor of some random house 405 00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:18,486 with Nick's housekeeper? 406 00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:19,570 Elena. 407 00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:20,572 I know your name. 408 00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:23,908 Question… Whose house is this? 409 00:21:23,909 --> 00:21:25,868 - The Hemmings'. - [Barney] And you know them how? 410 00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:26,995 We don't. 411 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,081 "We don't." "We don't." 412 00:21:30,082 --> 00:21:32,667 - "We"? Really? "We"? - Can we hurry this up, please? 413 00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:34,627 - We need to move. - [Barney] Just so I'm clear, 414 00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:37,296 and I'm sorry if I've misread the situation here, 415 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,298 we are currently trespassing? 416 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,467 - Correct. - And why would we be doing that? 417 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,386 Okay. They're gonna be home any minute. 418 00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:45,346 So can we finish up this Q and A later? 419 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,931 Q and A? [scoffs] 420 00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:48,766 [chuckles] That's… That's funny. 421 00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:50,142 She's funny. Who knew? 422 00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,811 Barney! Please? 423 00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,105 [sighs] 424 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:55,523 Okay. 425 00:21:55,524 --> 00:21:58,277 [sighs] You grab his left. I'll grab his right. On three. 426 00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:01,028 - One, two, three. [grunts] - Two. 427 00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,865 [groaning, grunts] 428 00:22:03,866 --> 00:22:05,658 [Elena sighs] When does your sister get home? 429 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:08,661 She's gonna be playing for another couple hours at least. 430 00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:10,288 [Elena] Okay. Do you have pills for this? 431 00:22:10,289 --> 00:22:12,081 [Coop] Yeah. Upstairs in the medicine cabinet. 432 00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:14,458 There's Flexeril and Percocet. Please. Both of them. 433 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,460 [Elena] Yep. 434 00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:18,714 [exhales deeply] 435 00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:23,677 So instead of taking back your job at Bailey Russell, 436 00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:27,513 a job that would pay you seven or eight figures annually before bonus, 437 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,850 you're, um, robbing houses with Nick's housekeeper? 438 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,103 - Elena. - I know her name. 439 00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,942 - I take it you two are, um… mm-mmm… - What? No. What? 440 00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:41,694 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that… 441 00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:44,780 that would be the crazy part in this whole fucked up scenario. 442 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,240 I know it's a lot to absorb. 443 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,075 [Barney] I'm not absorbing anything. 444 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,160 You know why? 445 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:50,995 Because it doesn't make any fucking sense. 446 00:22:50,996 --> 00:22:54,624 I mean, if this were some kind of sex kink thing, then fine. 447 00:22:54,625 --> 00:22:57,668 I mean, not fine, but at least I'd be able to wrap my brain around it. 448 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:00,129 But if not that, then-then what? What is this? 449 00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,841 Is this some sort of elaborate, three-stage midlife crisis? 450 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:05,176 You know, divorce wasn't enough. 451 00:23:05,177 --> 00:23:06,594 Losing your job wasn't enough. 452 00:23:06,595 --> 00:23:08,305 Getting arrested for murder wasn't… 453 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:10,891 Oh, my God. 454 00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:15,144 Coop, did you kill Paul Levitt? 455 00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:16,938 No. What are you talking about? 456 00:23:16,939 --> 00:23:19,065 I don't know what I'm talking about! 457 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:23,194 My best friend just told me he's some sort of suburban cat burglar. 458 00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:25,905 I mean, how do you even move this stuff? Do you have a fence? 459 00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:27,115 No. You know… No. 460 00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:29,576 Don't tell me. I don't wanna know. 461 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:35,707 Wait a minute. 462 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,546 Coop. 463 00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,800 Those guys who beat you up… 464 00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:47,845 who ran me over… 465 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:50,889 that was connected to this? 466 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:54,726 I could've been fucking killed. 467 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:56,727 I thought we had moved past this. 468 00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:58,772 I thought you weren't a motherfucking thief. 469 00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,234 [sighs] What a relief. 470 00:24:03,527 --> 00:24:04,736 [Coop sighs] 471 00:24:06,655 --> 00:24:08,073 - [mutters] Hmm. - Thank you. 472 00:24:12,953 --> 00:24:14,997 - What? - Oh, nothing. I just… 473 00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:17,832 I just can't wait to hear this meet-cute story. 474 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:19,250 Do you have a problem with me? 475 00:24:19,251 --> 00:24:21,210 Of course I have a problem with you. 476 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:23,796 - I have a problem with all of this! - Don't yell at me! 477 00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:26,465 I'm not yelling at you! I'm yelling near you! 478 00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,801 You're filling the whole room with your fucking voice! 479 00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:31,763 Guys! Enough! Goddamn it. 480 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,141 I got to get the fuck out of here. 481 00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,392 Barney. 482 00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:38,020 - Barney. - What? 483 00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,148 Thank you for coming to get me. 484 00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:42,941 Fuck you, Coop. 485 00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:44,902 Fuck you very much. 486 00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:50,531 - Fuck! - [door slams] 487 00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:53,326 That actually went a lot better than I thought it was going to. 488 00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:56,704 - I know. You can't… [laughs] - [laughs] And they were like… Yeah. 489 00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:57,748 Thanks. 490 00:24:58,290 --> 00:25:00,167 - Just give us a second. Thanks. - Mm-hmm. 491 00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:03,628 [laughs] 492 00:25:03,629 --> 00:25:05,338 - I feel like they're kicking us out. - I know. 493 00:25:05,339 --> 00:25:07,006 We do seem to be closing the place down. 494 00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:09,092 - [laughs] - [sighs] 495 00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:12,929 [inhales deeply, sighs] 496 00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:13,931 What? 497 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,098 I really can't remember the last time 498 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:18,684 I enjoyed myself just talking to someone like this. 499 00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:21,771 I have been exceptionally witty tonight. 500 00:25:21,772 --> 00:25:24,690 - Oh, really? Is that what it is? - Oh, yeah. I brought my best material. 501 00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:27,902 - So it's all downhill from here? - Oh, yeah, pretty much. 502 00:25:27,903 --> 00:25:29,904 [both laughing] 503 00:25:29,905 --> 00:25:31,156 God. 504 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,661 When… When you get divorced, 505 00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:39,664 I feel like you're so focused on the act of dissolving the marriage, 506 00:25:39,665 --> 00:25:42,291 you don't think about the complications that are gonna come afterwards. 507 00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:46,629 So when they finally do come, they kind of knock you on your ass. 508 00:25:46,630 --> 00:25:49,549 So it's been complicated? 509 00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:51,759 You could say that, yeah. 510 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,386 But you're over it? 511 00:25:53,387 --> 00:25:54,596 I'm working on it. 512 00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:58,307 What about him? Are you over him? 513 00:25:58,308 --> 00:25:59,475 Who? 514 00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:01,645 [both laughing] 515 00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:05,732 I am. 516 00:26:06,942 --> 00:26:09,194 Absolutely. And then some. 517 00:26:09,987 --> 00:26:11,445 So you're conflicted? 518 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:14,032 [both laughing] 519 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:17,828 Well, I mean, the way I see it… [clears throat] 520 00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:20,413 …is if we had known in advance 521 00:26:20,414 --> 00:26:23,124 how complicated our divorces were gonna be, 522 00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:27,754 emotionally, financially, fucking logistically… 523 00:26:28,422 --> 00:26:33,342 we'd all probably just give up and still be in our lousy marriages. 524 00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,013 [chuckles] Then where would we be? 525 00:26:38,223 --> 00:26:40,225 - Not here. - Exactly. 526 00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:43,854 Well, given we are here, I'm just wondering… 527 00:26:46,607 --> 00:26:48,191 what happens next? 528 00:26:48,192 --> 00:26:50,068 [breathing heavily] 529 00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:03,165 [moaning, panting] 530 00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,800 - Wait, wait, wait. - What? What? What? 531 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:18,680 - [chuckles] I'm sorry. - [panting] No. It's okay. It's all right. 532 00:27:20,182 --> 00:27:21,933 You all right? [panting] 533 00:27:21,934 --> 00:27:24,810 Yes. I'm sorry. I just… I suddenly don't feel well. 534 00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:27,855 - Oh, God. It's okay. Uh… Is this, uh… - I mean… 535 00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:29,524 [inhales sharply] Something I did? 536 00:27:29,525 --> 00:27:32,777 I promise I'm not blowing you off. 537 00:27:32,778 --> 00:27:35,321 - Okay. - I was very much with the program. 538 00:27:35,322 --> 00:27:36,781 - Okay. - Just… 539 00:27:36,782 --> 00:27:38,450 Listen, hey, it's fine. It's fine. 540 00:27:39,076 --> 00:27:40,494 Why don't I take you home? 541 00:27:50,254 --> 00:27:51,922 [Mel] I'm home! 542 00:27:53,382 --> 00:27:57,636 So if anybody's in a state of undress or making out, 543 00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:01,682 please take the appropriate measures now. 544 00:28:04,810 --> 00:28:05,978 Hi, baby. 545 00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:08,938 Hey, Mom. 546 00:28:08,939 --> 00:28:11,400 Where's Morgan? I thought you were hanging out tonight? 547 00:28:12,025 --> 00:28:13,234 No, it's just me. 548 00:28:13,235 --> 00:28:15,194 - Hi. - They got into a fight. 549 00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:16,487 No, it wasn't a fight. 550 00:28:16,488 --> 00:28:17,739 It sounded like a fight. 551 00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,409 [Mel] Well, that stinks. 552 00:28:23,203 --> 00:28:24,204 [grunts] 553 00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:29,834 Who can fight with this face? 554 00:28:29,835 --> 00:28:31,919 I think you might be slightly biased. 555 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,965 Well, according to Morgan, I'm an asshole. 556 00:28:35,841 --> 00:28:36,842 I will cut her. 557 00:28:38,135 --> 00:28:39,302 How was your date? 558 00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:40,971 I was thinking about hanging it up. 559 00:28:41,889 --> 00:28:44,183 - Yeah? Me too. - Perfect. 560 00:28:45,017 --> 00:28:46,435 You can live with me forever. 561 00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,813 Take care of me when I am old and infirm. 562 00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:52,900 Okay. But I'm not gonna change your diapers. 563 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:54,734 Fair. 564 00:28:54,735 --> 00:28:57,111 We can have a ton of cats. 565 00:28:57,112 --> 00:28:59,239 - It'll be great. - [Hunter groans] 566 00:29:03,619 --> 00:29:05,913 [serene music playing] 567 00:29:16,131 --> 00:29:17,382 [groans] 568 00:29:19,051 --> 00:29:20,801 Nothing made you more aware of being alone 569 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:23,514 than when you needed help getting your ass out of bed. 570 00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:30,395 My back was already feeling better, which is to say, it hurt like hell. 571 00:29:30,938 --> 00:29:32,898 [sighs, groans] 572 00:29:34,274 --> 00:29:37,860 And as much as I wanted to blame it all on that beating I took last year, 573 00:29:37,861 --> 00:29:40,655 the ugly truth was that I had a bad back, 574 00:29:40,656 --> 00:29:44,116 and a shrinking bladder, and being middle-aged sucked. 575 00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,410 [urinating] 576 00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:48,830 [classical music playing] 577 00:30:26,159 --> 00:30:28,244 The new place is beautiful. 578 00:30:28,245 --> 00:30:29,496 Congratulations. 579 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:31,832 Thank you. 580 00:30:36,753 --> 00:30:39,756 "A deluxe apartment in the sky." [chuckles] 581 00:30:42,676 --> 00:30:43,760 I'm sorry? 582 00:30:44,303 --> 00:30:47,389 Uh, it's The Jeffersons… 583 00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:49,807 You-You remember? 584 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:51,601 It was a television show from when I was a… 585 00:30:51,602 --> 00:30:53,228 You know what? Never mind. It's… 586 00:30:56,398 --> 00:30:57,857 Grace is worried about you. 587 00:30:57,858 --> 00:30:59,859 Well, there's nothing to worry about, so… 588 00:30:59,860 --> 00:31:01,612 We wouldn't be here if that were true. 589 00:31:02,821 --> 00:31:04,739 Well, anyone can have a bad year. 590 00:31:04,740 --> 00:31:06,824 Your business model is flawed. 591 00:31:06,825 --> 00:31:12,371 Your risk is not properly managed. You depend too much on too few clients. 592 00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:15,917 One of them has a bad year and it hits your bottom line too hard. 593 00:31:15,918 --> 00:31:18,085 Respectfully, um, 594 00:31:18,086 --> 00:31:22,507 the art of wealth management is choosing clients like stocks. 595 00:31:22,508 --> 00:31:26,385 You know, you make educated decisions based on a wide array of data points. 596 00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:29,138 For instance, Nick Brandes, one of my largest clients, 597 00:31:29,139 --> 00:31:30,849 he just signed a major broadcasting deal. 598 00:31:31,433 --> 00:31:33,226 And what happens if he leaves you? 599 00:31:33,227 --> 00:31:34,393 Or gets hit by a truck? 600 00:31:34,394 --> 00:31:35,603 Um, Mr. Park-- [stammers] 601 00:31:35,604 --> 00:31:37,146 You rely too much on other people 602 00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:39,440 making their money instead of you making your money yourself. 603 00:31:39,441 --> 00:31:41,276 I-I make my money… 604 00:31:42,402 --> 00:31:45,906 by providing a valuable and exclusive service. 605 00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:51,536 I have relationships across every financial sector. 606 00:31:51,537 --> 00:31:54,247 You don't work hard enough for what you have. 607 00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:56,791 Says the man who inherited his business from his father. 608 00:31:56,792 --> 00:31:58,168 [chuckles] 609 00:32:00,921 --> 00:32:02,965 And I have no sons to do the same. 610 00:32:03,882 --> 00:32:05,551 - I thought maybe Grace-- - She doesn't want it. 611 00:32:06,134 --> 00:32:07,219 She wants it… 612 00:32:08,804 --> 00:32:09,972 for you. 613 00:32:10,556 --> 00:32:14,268 [chuckles] So… So you're, uh… you're offering me a job? 614 00:32:15,727 --> 00:32:16,728 [grunts] 615 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:20,232 You don't even like me. 616 00:32:23,235 --> 00:32:24,820 That's true. 617 00:32:28,073 --> 00:32:30,075 Okay then. I'll think about it. 618 00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,164 [Gordy] How's that back, Coop? 619 00:32:37,165 --> 00:32:39,333 It's getting there. Thank you. 620 00:32:39,334 --> 00:32:42,044 Um, I'm gonna send you to my man Kimo. 621 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:44,130 He did physio for me after my knee surgery. 622 00:32:44,131 --> 00:32:45,674 Dude's got magic hands. 623 00:32:46,425 --> 00:32:48,176 Well, I just got a Toradol shot, 624 00:32:48,177 --> 00:32:51,012 so that's doing the majority of the heavy lifting right now. 625 00:32:51,013 --> 00:32:52,138 Yeah, that works too. 626 00:32:52,139 --> 00:32:53,264 - [laughs] - It does. 627 00:32:53,265 --> 00:32:55,893 I had a bulging disc a few years ago. You guys remember that? 628 00:32:57,060 --> 00:33:00,813 Oh, man. I went down the whole rabbit hole on that one. 629 00:33:00,814 --> 00:33:03,901 Acupuncture, stem cell therapy, you name it. 630 00:33:04,818 --> 00:33:06,737 I thought my golfing days were over. 631 00:33:07,571 --> 00:33:10,072 [Coop] When we weren't talking about finance or sports 632 00:33:10,073 --> 00:33:11,741 or the finance of sports, 633 00:33:11,742 --> 00:33:15,286 we devoted a lot of time to our growing laundry list of injuries. 634 00:33:15,287 --> 00:33:16,621 We were men of a certain age, 635 00:33:16,622 --> 00:33:18,748 all former jocks in some capacity, 636 00:33:18,749 --> 00:33:21,000 confronting the inevitable decline of our bodies 637 00:33:21,001 --> 00:33:23,294 through a combination of concierge doctors, 638 00:33:23,295 --> 00:33:27,465 cutting-edge pharmaceuticals, trainers, and talking it all to death. 639 00:33:27,466 --> 00:33:30,384 It was just another club we all belonged to. 640 00:33:30,385 --> 00:33:34,263 Hey, you guys get invited to this party up at the, uh, estate on Bisbee? 641 00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:35,640 [Nick, Gordy] Yeah. 642 00:33:35,641 --> 00:33:37,266 Who is this guy? 643 00:33:37,267 --> 00:33:40,144 Owen Ashe. Hmm. 644 00:33:40,145 --> 00:33:42,688 Apparently he made a fortune on shipping. 645 00:33:42,689 --> 00:33:44,357 Paid asking on the house. 646 00:33:44,358 --> 00:33:46,359 Twenty million. All cash. 647 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,569 - Jesus. - Wow. 648 00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:49,863 Here comes the neighborhood. 649 00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:53,157 Geez, and he's throwing himself a welcome-to-town party? 650 00:33:53,158 --> 00:33:54,700 Sounds like a douche. 651 00:33:54,701 --> 00:33:56,244 Uh, I don't know. 652 00:33:56,245 --> 00:33:59,455 It's like The Great Gatsby or something. Could be fun. 653 00:33:59,456 --> 00:34:00,915 You know how that book ended, right? 654 00:34:00,916 --> 00:34:04,168 [all laughing] 655 00:34:04,169 --> 00:34:07,922 Well, I heard it was, uh, Sam Levitt who made the sale. 656 00:34:07,923 --> 00:34:09,298 - Oh, yeah? - [Brad] Mm-hmm. 657 00:34:09,299 --> 00:34:10,675 Good for her. 658 00:34:10,676 --> 00:34:11,717 [Gordy] "Good for her"? 659 00:34:12,219 --> 00:34:16,056 She desecrated the corpse of her husband and framed you for murder. 660 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:18,558 Did she? Who can remember? 661 00:34:18,559 --> 00:34:21,227 [Brad] Well, she knew what she was doing when she sold Bisbee. 662 00:34:21,228 --> 00:34:23,981 She probably split, what, 663 00:34:24,523 --> 00:34:27,859 a million dollars in commission with the listing agent? 664 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:31,904 God. She tries to send Coop away for life, now she's making six figures. 665 00:34:31,905 --> 00:34:33,531 That's America for you. 666 00:34:33,532 --> 00:34:34,698 [Brad] Yeah. 667 00:34:34,699 --> 00:34:36,993 I thought your guy was trying to make it great again. 668 00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:39,079 [all laughing, clamoring] 669 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,497 Hey, hey, hey. No politics at the club. 670 00:34:42,498 --> 00:34:43,583 Oh, is that a rule now? 671 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:55,261 {\an8}We are witnessing a spectacular performance by the league's heir apparent. 672 00:34:55,262 --> 00:34:58,055 Dare I say, LeBron and Steph who? 673 00:34:58,056 --> 00:34:59,432 Calm down, Greeny. 674 00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:01,684 - Please calm down. - Yeah, Mike. Come on, man. 675 00:35:01,685 --> 00:35:05,396 Let's see him do what the King's been doing consistently for 20-plus years. 676 00:35:05,397 --> 00:35:07,398 I don't know. I've never seen him do a Sombor Shuffle. 677 00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:10,401 Okay. Then how about, uh, play defense like my guy, Kawhi? 678 00:35:10,402 --> 00:35:11,485 Oh, that's your guy now? 679 00:35:11,486 --> 00:35:13,613 Yeah, that's my guy. [laughs] We're both Spurs legends 680 00:35:13,614 --> 00:35:15,865 - with the hardware to prove it. - Since when do you watch sports? 681 00:35:15,866 --> 00:35:18,702 Oh, it's Nick's second week on air. I'm just checking in. 682 00:35:19,411 --> 00:35:20,912 Uh, let's do the math on this thing. 683 00:35:20,913 --> 00:35:22,747 - Don't forget to carry the one. - No, you're not. 684 00:35:22,748 --> 00:35:24,832 - [Nick] It was one season of overlap. - No, I'm not. 685 00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:27,085 Hmm. Mm-mmm. 686 00:35:29,129 --> 00:35:30,297 [chuckles] 687 00:35:34,927 --> 00:35:38,222 [both moaning] 688 00:35:51,652 --> 00:35:53,987 [Barney panting] 689 00:35:59,076 --> 00:36:01,245 Um, something wrong? 690 00:36:01,870 --> 00:36:04,747 Nothing. Just keep doing what you're doing. 691 00:36:04,748 --> 00:36:06,166 - [kisses] - [Grace] Um… 692 00:36:08,001 --> 00:36:10,002 There's nothing really going on down there. 693 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:12,464 [Barney breathes heavily, sighs] 694 00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:15,508 Okay. 695 00:36:15,509 --> 00:36:16,510 Oh, Jesus. 696 00:36:18,345 --> 00:36:21,098 Okay, uh, it's okay, Barney. 697 00:36:24,309 --> 00:36:26,352 Hey. Hey, what is it? 698 00:36:26,353 --> 00:36:27,520 Talk to me. 699 00:36:27,521 --> 00:36:29,647 Do you need me to do something different? 700 00:36:29,648 --> 00:36:31,316 Yes, actually. [pants] 701 00:36:31,984 --> 00:36:34,402 I want you to not set up meetings with your father, okay? 702 00:36:34,403 --> 00:36:36,445 I keep seeing his smug, condescending face. 703 00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:38,072 It makes it hard to have sex with his daughter. 704 00:36:38,073 --> 00:36:40,241 [stammers] I was just trying to help. 705 00:36:40,242 --> 00:36:43,579 And since you asked, less pressure on the balls, okay? 706 00:36:44,121 --> 00:36:45,622 A little goes a long way down there. 707 00:36:48,292 --> 00:36:49,543 Goddamn it. 708 00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:52,171 [Ali] ♪ I remember ♪ 709 00:36:53,338 --> 00:36:57,134 ♪ I remember Don't worry, worry ♪ 710 00:36:58,218 --> 00:37:01,512 ♪ How could I ever forget? ♪ 711 00:37:01,513 --> 00:37:04,015 ♪ It was the first time ♪ 712 00:37:04,016 --> 00:37:05,725 [tapping foot rhythmically] 713 00:37:05,726 --> 00:37:09,563 ♪ The last time that we ever met ♪ 714 00:37:12,858 --> 00:37:19,739 ♪ Oh, and I know the reason why You keep this silence up ♪ 715 00:37:19,740 --> 00:37:21,449 ♪ Up, up ♪ 716 00:37:21,450 --> 00:37:25,036 ♪ No, you don't fool me ♪ 717 00:37:25,037 --> 00:37:30,374 ♪ 'Cause the hurt doesn't show But the pain still grows ♪ 718 00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:33,003 ♪ It's no stranger to you and me ♪ 719 00:37:34,129 --> 00:37:38,133 I'd been feeling a little bit off, but then when he tried to, you know… 720 00:37:40,052 --> 00:37:41,136 - Yeah? - Get in there. 721 00:37:41,678 --> 00:37:42,762 That's when I knew. 722 00:37:42,763 --> 00:37:44,847 Oh. Menopause. 723 00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:45,932 Yeah. 724 00:37:45,933 --> 00:37:47,559 [clicks tongue, inhales sharply] Oh. 725 00:37:49,436 --> 00:37:50,437 Hmm. 726 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,691 Keep this in your purse. 727 00:37:56,652 --> 00:37:59,362 Especially if you're gonna keep hooking up with random guys in cars. 728 00:37:59,363 --> 00:38:02,406 I don't understand. You just carry lube around with you? 729 00:38:02,407 --> 00:38:04,576 Um, yeah, you gotta be prepared. 730 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,537 And on my meds, it's just… 731 00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:10,289 It makes it, like, drier than Death Valley down there. 732 00:38:10,290 --> 00:38:13,334 Um, as much as I'd like to hear more about that, 733 00:38:13,335 --> 00:38:17,463 I texted you because one of the music teachers from Mayfield 734 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:20,508 got a touring gig and is leaving for the rest of the semester, 735 00:38:20,509 --> 00:38:22,678 and they need a replacement. 736 00:38:23,262 --> 00:38:24,471 Oh, I'm not a teacher. 737 00:38:25,264 --> 00:38:27,765 Yeah, you're a professional musician, which is even better. 738 00:38:27,766 --> 00:38:29,601 No, I don't know. 739 00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:32,646 'Cause on my best day, it's like… 740 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,983 You wouldn't necessarily call me Mayfield material. 741 00:38:36,525 --> 00:38:38,734 And that is not a bad thing. 'Cause ew. 742 00:38:38,735 --> 00:38:41,445 You said you wanted more independence. 743 00:38:41,446 --> 00:38:43,030 Speaking as a therapist-- 744 00:38:43,031 --> 00:38:44,282 An unemployed therapist. 745 00:38:44,283 --> 00:38:45,908 - By choice. - Really? 746 00:38:45,909 --> 00:38:47,827 I'm actually writing a book. 747 00:38:47,828 --> 00:38:49,829 Oh. What's it about? 748 00:38:49,830 --> 00:38:50,913 No, don't try to do that. 749 00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:55,585 We're talking about you and independence, which requires confidence. 750 00:38:55,586 --> 00:38:57,962 And confidence comes from activation. 751 00:38:57,963 --> 00:38:58,964 [Ali] Mmm. 752 00:39:00,007 --> 00:39:02,258 You're doing so great. You're staying on your meds, 753 00:39:02,259 --> 00:39:05,970 you're-you're regulated, you're showing up to work. 754 00:39:05,971 --> 00:39:07,180 [exhales deeply] 755 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:09,223 Don't you think you're ready for a new challenge? 756 00:39:09,224 --> 00:39:11,392 Besides, you're-you're never gonna get your own place 757 00:39:11,393 --> 00:39:13,227 based on what they pay you here. 758 00:39:13,228 --> 00:39:16,689 Well, I thought I would just marry rich, you know, like everyone else does. 759 00:39:16,690 --> 00:39:18,108 Yeah, that's a much better idea. 760 00:39:23,030 --> 00:39:26,532 Just do me a favor and don't mention the perimenopause thing to Coop. 761 00:39:26,533 --> 00:39:28,117 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 762 00:39:28,118 --> 00:39:29,119 No, I know. 763 00:39:30,204 --> 00:39:31,330 I just feel like 764 00:39:32,956 --> 00:39:35,167 I'm getting older and he's just 765 00:39:37,085 --> 00:39:39,671 getting better and better looking. 766 00:39:53,602 --> 00:39:56,146 Hey, Barney. It's Coop. Again. 767 00:39:56,772 --> 00:39:59,815 Thought maybe I'd run into you at the club, but no dice. 768 00:39:59,816 --> 00:40:01,693 Give me a call. We should probably talk. 769 00:40:02,736 --> 00:40:04,112 [Ali] Yes, that sounds great. 770 00:40:05,030 --> 00:40:06,614 Yeah, and I just wanna make sure 771 00:40:06,615 --> 00:40:09,201 you're aware that I have no formal teaching experience. 772 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,829 Oh, you have? Oh, that's nice. 773 00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,457 Yeah, I play there four nights a week. 774 00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:18,210 [chuckles] Yeah, great. 775 00:40:19,169 --> 00:40:20,587 Yes, I will be there. 776 00:40:21,755 --> 00:40:24,132 Okay. Bye. [chuckles] 777 00:40:26,134 --> 00:40:27,219 What was all that about? 778 00:40:27,928 --> 00:40:30,222 That was about me being a music teacher. 779 00:40:30,973 --> 00:40:32,056 Guitar lessons? 780 00:40:32,057 --> 00:40:36,310 No. They're looking for an interim teacher at Mayfield till the end of the year. 781 00:40:36,311 --> 00:40:38,229 Mayfield? You've never taught before. 782 00:40:38,230 --> 00:40:39,438 That's what I said. 783 00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:41,440 But Mel already went to the head of school, 784 00:40:41,441 --> 00:40:44,611 and apparently she's seen me perform at The Tap, so… 785 00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:46,613 I got an interview. 786 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,491 Wow, that's great. 787 00:40:50,075 --> 00:40:51,951 You look nice. Where you going? Got a hot date? 788 00:40:51,952 --> 00:40:53,953 No. Party. 789 00:40:53,954 --> 00:40:55,329 Ooh. Anyone I know? 790 00:40:55,330 --> 00:40:57,790 No. In fact, no one I know. Do you wanna come? 791 00:40:57,791 --> 00:40:59,125 Mmm. Can I wear this? 792 00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:01,043 - No. - Then no. 793 00:41:01,044 --> 00:41:03,088 - Are you sure? - Yes. Hard pass. 794 00:41:03,589 --> 00:41:04,881 One of us is gonna regret it. 795 00:41:04,882 --> 00:41:06,007 Well, probably you. 796 00:41:06,008 --> 00:41:07,425 No, it's probably gonna be you. 797 00:41:07,426 --> 00:41:08,801 Well, no, it's gonna be you. 798 00:41:08,802 --> 00:41:09,886 [Coop] Mostly you. Bye. 799 00:41:09,887 --> 00:41:11,638 Bye! [chuckles] 800 00:41:12,264 --> 00:41:13,639 It's gonna be you. 801 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,475 [big band music playing] 802 00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:19,247 [Maggie] This place is incredible. 803 00:42:19,248 --> 00:42:22,041 I mean, the juxtapositions are really thoughtful. 804 00:42:22,042 --> 00:42:25,503 The plaster, the flooring, the fixtures, it's all the original masonry. 805 00:42:25,504 --> 00:42:28,047 [Diane] How you doing? [chuckles] Hi, hi, hi. 806 00:42:28,048 --> 00:42:30,341 So has anyone seen our host for the evening? 807 00:42:30,342 --> 00:42:31,801 Dying to meet him. 808 00:42:31,802 --> 00:42:33,302 [Suzanne] He's gonna be bald and ugly. 809 00:42:33,303 --> 00:42:34,512 [chuckles] You saw him? 810 00:42:34,513 --> 00:42:36,472 No, but he's gotta be compensating for something. 811 00:42:36,473 --> 00:42:37,932 [Kat] Yeah, having too much money. 812 00:42:37,933 --> 00:42:39,183 [friends chuckle] 813 00:42:39,184 --> 00:42:41,019 [friend] Mel, has Tori heard from Princeton yet? 814 00:42:41,812 --> 00:42:43,896 - Any day now. - [friend] That must be so nerve-wracking. 815 00:42:43,897 --> 00:42:44,982 You have no idea. 816 00:42:46,275 --> 00:42:48,025 [Grace] What about Chelsea, Jules? 817 00:42:48,026 --> 00:42:50,236 Uh, Chelsea went with early decision at Duke. 818 00:42:50,237 --> 00:42:51,529 - Oh. - Oh. 819 00:42:51,530 --> 00:42:52,989 It's not what Brad and I would've chosen, 820 00:42:52,990 --> 00:42:56,325 but they have a great tennis team, and it's what Chelsea wanted. 821 00:42:56,326 --> 00:42:57,995 - [Grace] Mmm. - Mmm. That's good. 822 00:42:58,787 --> 00:43:00,830 - Wait, is that him? - Lovely to meet you. Enjoy yourselves. 823 00:43:00,831 --> 00:43:02,749 - Plenty of bars. - Wow. Thank you. 824 00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:05,752 - Oh, hey. How's it going? - That's him. 825 00:43:06,712 --> 00:43:09,130 You were right, Suze. He's really ugly, isn't he? [chuckles] 826 00:43:09,131 --> 00:43:11,675 I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. 827 00:43:12,801 --> 00:43:14,427 That's not what he'd be eating in my bed. 828 00:43:14,428 --> 00:43:16,220 - [friends laugh] - [Maggie] Oh, yeah, get it. 829 00:43:16,221 --> 00:43:17,930 I bet he has a very small dick. 830 00:43:17,931 --> 00:43:19,432 [Grace] Absolutely. 831 00:43:19,433 --> 00:43:22,518 Ladies! Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. 832 00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:25,771 Owen Ashe. My friends just call me Ashe. Thank you for coming. 833 00:43:25,772 --> 00:43:27,273 Your house is stunning. 834 00:43:27,274 --> 00:43:28,399 Oh, thank you. 835 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,027 It has to be to compensate for my very small dick. 836 00:43:31,028 --> 00:43:32,403 [friends chuckling] 837 00:43:32,404 --> 00:43:33,487 Right? 838 00:43:33,488 --> 00:43:35,198 [laughing] 839 00:43:35,199 --> 00:43:36,490 Oops. 840 00:43:36,491 --> 00:43:37,950 That was… 841 00:43:37,951 --> 00:43:39,828 - Sorry. - Yeah, that's… No worries. 842 00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:50,713 - Uh-huh. - Ah, okay, okay. What's your name? 843 00:43:50,714 --> 00:43:52,925 - Kat Resnick. - [Ashe] Kat, very nice to meet you. 844 00:43:54,593 --> 00:43:56,511 Uh, excuse me. Enjoy yourselves, please. 845 00:43:56,512 --> 00:43:58,388 I'm really looking forward to getting to know all of you. 846 00:43:59,097 --> 00:44:01,098 Sam! You made it. 847 00:44:01,099 --> 00:44:02,350 The place looks great. 848 00:44:02,351 --> 00:44:04,685 Uh, how did you do all this so fast? 849 00:44:04,686 --> 00:44:06,729 How did I do all this? I have a team. 850 00:44:06,730 --> 00:44:08,981 - Of course you do. - Come on, let's get you a drink. 851 00:44:08,982 --> 00:44:11,692 Oh, thanks, but I just wanted to stop by and congratulate you. 852 00:44:11,693 --> 00:44:12,903 I'm not staying. 853 00:44:13,445 --> 00:44:16,322 What? What do you mean you're not staying? Of course you're staying. 854 00:44:16,323 --> 00:44:17,823 You're my only friend in Westmont Village. 855 00:44:17,824 --> 00:44:19,575 You can't leave me with all these people. Come on. 856 00:44:19,576 --> 00:44:23,246 [stammers] These people will love you, but I just don't have it in me 857 00:44:23,247 --> 00:44:26,500 to deal with all the withering mean girl stares tonight. 858 00:44:28,085 --> 00:44:30,087 Oh, they don't love you. 859 00:44:30,754 --> 00:44:32,672 Mmm. I burned some bridges. 860 00:44:32,673 --> 00:44:37,468 Well, take it from someone who's elevated bridge burning to an art form, 861 00:44:37,469 --> 00:44:39,011 there's always another way across. 862 00:44:39,012 --> 00:44:41,305 - Come on, one drink. - No. Yeah, I'm-I'm gonna go. 863 00:44:41,306 --> 00:44:42,515 Are you sure? 864 00:44:42,516 --> 00:44:43,517 No. 865 00:44:44,268 --> 00:44:46,894 [chuckles, inhales sharply] 866 00:44:46,895 --> 00:44:48,647 Hmm. 867 00:44:53,110 --> 00:44:54,945 - [valet attendant] Door. - Thank you. 868 00:45:04,162 --> 00:45:05,496 - Oh, God. Sorry. - [Samantha] Sorry. 869 00:45:05,497 --> 00:45:06,665 Oh. Hi. 870 00:45:07,457 --> 00:45:09,334 Don't worry, I'm leaving. 871 00:45:12,129 --> 00:45:13,212 I wasn't worried. 872 00:45:13,213 --> 00:45:14,506 Imagine my relief. 873 00:45:30,439 --> 00:45:33,107 [Grace] You haven't said anything about the meeting with my father. 874 00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:37,486 The man just cannot hide his disappointment. 875 00:45:37,487 --> 00:45:38,488 In you? 876 00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:41,866 In you. For marrying me. 877 00:45:41,867 --> 00:45:44,453 [chuckles] No, that's just his face. 878 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:48,706 Did he get into any specifics? 879 00:45:48,707 --> 00:45:52,002 [sighs] Why are you pushing this so hard? 880 00:45:53,837 --> 00:45:55,713 No reason. No reason. 881 00:45:55,714 --> 00:45:58,425 Um, but also… [inhales deeply] 882 00:45:59,676 --> 00:46:03,764 …in completely unrelated news, I'm pregnant. 883 00:46:05,098 --> 00:46:06,099 You… 884 00:46:08,393 --> 00:46:09,477 Um… 885 00:46:09,478 --> 00:46:12,064 [stammers] Are you sure it's… 886 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,317 [stammers] It's mine, right? I… 887 00:46:16,235 --> 00:46:17,861 [breathes shakily] 888 00:46:19,655 --> 00:46:20,864 [stammering] Does it, uh… 889 00:46:21,949 --> 00:46:24,242 Does it feel like a boy? 890 00:46:24,243 --> 00:46:26,245 [Grace chuckles] 891 00:46:27,538 --> 00:46:29,080 Oh, get me the fuck away from this fish. 892 00:46:29,081 --> 00:46:30,666 - I can't, I can't. [groans] - [stammers] Okay. 893 00:46:31,333 --> 00:46:32,667 [chuckles] 894 00:46:32,668 --> 00:46:35,504 [party music playing] 895 00:46:44,721 --> 00:46:46,681 - [Diane] Whoa. - [friend] Hey. [chuckles] 896 00:46:46,682 --> 00:46:48,307 - Hi, guys. - You think that what? 897 00:46:48,308 --> 00:46:50,351 Can I borrow her for a second? 898 00:46:50,352 --> 00:46:52,770 - Sorry. Yeah, just… - Uh-oh. 899 00:46:52,771 --> 00:46:54,146 - [friend] Good luck. - [Mel] Hi. 900 00:46:54,147 --> 00:46:56,692 [Coop] Uh… Question, um… 901 00:46:57,568 --> 00:47:00,571 Why didn't you tell me about this teaching thing at Mayfield? 902 00:47:02,155 --> 00:47:03,407 You're not a musician. 903 00:47:03,907 --> 00:47:06,367 Ali is not good with that kind of schedule. 904 00:47:06,368 --> 00:47:07,535 How do you know? 905 00:47:07,536 --> 00:47:09,203 She's been doing great, hasn't she? 906 00:47:09,204 --> 00:47:11,956 Yes, and I would like her to keep doing great. 907 00:47:11,957 --> 00:47:14,458 She's not a child, Coop. 908 00:47:14,459 --> 00:47:17,128 She's a 40-year-old woman who'd like to do something with her life. 909 00:47:17,129 --> 00:47:18,588 She's gonna screw this up. 910 00:47:18,589 --> 00:47:21,591 Maybe. And maybe you have to let her. 911 00:47:21,592 --> 00:47:24,219 [sighs] You should've come to me first. 912 00:47:25,262 --> 00:47:26,888 Stop trying to parent her. 913 00:47:26,889 --> 00:47:29,223 Just be her brother. 914 00:47:29,224 --> 00:47:31,685 Thank you for that completely unsolicited piece of advice. 915 00:47:33,979 --> 00:47:35,146 Jesus. 916 00:47:35,147 --> 00:47:36,939 Okay. Wow. 917 00:47:36,940 --> 00:47:38,816 Well, she seemed delightful. 918 00:47:38,817 --> 00:47:40,569 To everyone else but me. 919 00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:42,653 Owen Ashe, I presume. 920 00:47:42,654 --> 00:47:45,323 - Oh, Ashe, please. - Wow, uh, nice to meet… 921 00:47:45,324 --> 00:47:46,407 Uh, Andrew Cooper. Coop. 922 00:47:46,408 --> 00:47:49,786 Coop. Ah, your reputation precedes you. 923 00:47:50,370 --> 00:47:52,830 Wow. Well, I suppose that's my cross to bear. 924 00:47:52,831 --> 00:47:54,832 Cross to bear? Oh, hey, take it from me, 925 00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:56,792 it's those experiences, the ones that challenge you, 926 00:47:56,793 --> 00:47:59,378 and threaten you, and… [inhales sharply] …humiliate you 927 00:47:59,379 --> 00:48:01,547 that ultimately make your life worth living. 928 00:48:01,548 --> 00:48:03,883 Otherwise we'd all medicate ourselves into bored oblivion 929 00:48:03,884 --> 00:48:06,802 until there's no reason to get our catatonic asses out of bed anymore. 930 00:48:06,803 --> 00:48:08,679 [chuckles] Hey, you were arrested for murder. 931 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,848 I mean, how many people can claim that? 932 00:48:10,849 --> 00:48:13,559 - Most murderers. - [chuckling] Right. 933 00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,270 So is there a Mrs. Ashe I should be saying thank you to? 934 00:48:16,271 --> 00:48:18,397 Uh, no. No. 935 00:48:18,398 --> 00:48:19,900 Ah. Divorced? 936 00:48:20,526 --> 00:48:21,609 Widowed. 937 00:48:21,610 --> 00:48:22,985 Jesus. I'm so sorry. 938 00:48:22,986 --> 00:48:24,570 - No. Thank you, thank you. - Oh, God… 939 00:48:24,571 --> 00:48:27,240 It's been eight years and I miss her every day. 940 00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:30,702 But I'll tell you something, that woman, she taught me how to live. 941 00:48:31,703 --> 00:48:34,539 Huh. Well… [stammers] …what is it you, uh, do for a living? 942 00:48:34,540 --> 00:48:38,000 I'm in import/export. Freight consolidation. 943 00:48:38,001 --> 00:48:39,837 What about you? I assume you're in some kind of finance. 944 00:48:40,420 --> 00:48:43,130 Yeah. I run a-a small, uh, family office. 945 00:48:43,131 --> 00:48:44,882 That's suitably vague. 946 00:48:44,883 --> 00:48:46,425 Kind of like import/export. 947 00:48:46,426 --> 00:48:48,469 [chuckles] 948 00:48:48,470 --> 00:48:49,887 Hey, you're empty. We can't have that. 949 00:48:49,888 --> 00:48:52,640 Can we get two whiskeys here, please? Good stuff. 950 00:48:52,641 --> 00:48:53,851 Thank you, thank you. 951 00:49:04,820 --> 00:49:05,903 I've seen that look. 952 00:49:05,904 --> 00:49:08,447 - You have? Oh, so you got one? - Oh, yeah. I got one of those. 953 00:49:08,448 --> 00:49:10,700 - Yeah, that's a tough one. - [Coop] At least it gets worse. 954 00:49:10,701 --> 00:49:11,951 [Ashe] Something to look forward to. 955 00:49:11,952 --> 00:49:13,996 [guests chattering] 956 00:49:16,874 --> 00:49:20,251 [Ashe] You gotta let me geek out for a second. I used to love watching you play. 957 00:49:20,252 --> 00:49:21,502 - Your form… Listen… - [Nick] No. 958 00:49:21,503 --> 00:49:24,964 …every line, every movement, your shot was a fucking thing of beauty. 959 00:49:24,965 --> 00:49:26,841 - Aw, thanks, man. I appreciate it. - [Ashe] It was. 960 00:49:26,842 --> 00:49:28,384 And I joined your gym, by the way. 961 00:49:28,385 --> 00:49:31,220 You got a great thing going on there. I love the vibe. It's a great package. 962 00:49:31,221 --> 00:49:32,305 Are you opening more? 963 00:49:32,306 --> 00:49:35,474 Oh, we just closed on the financing for two new locations. 964 00:49:35,475 --> 00:49:38,978 Two new locations? You gotta be thinking bigger than that. 965 00:49:38,979 --> 00:49:41,856 Look, if you don't mind me saying, you're having a moment right now. 966 00:49:41,857 --> 00:49:43,900 You're a beloved athlete. You're on television. 967 00:49:43,901 --> 00:49:47,236 I saw the new segment, "Off Brandes." It's fucking great. You're gonna blow up. 968 00:49:47,237 --> 00:49:50,323 As for the gym, I mean, fuck the banks. 969 00:49:50,324 --> 00:49:53,284 You don't wanna have to deal with those shitty covenants. I'd invest in you. 970 00:49:53,285 --> 00:49:56,662 In your brand. We could be opening 40 strong-ass gyms by next year. 971 00:49:56,663 --> 00:49:58,289 I'll get you up to 250 the year after that. 972 00:49:58,290 --> 00:50:00,291 - Shit. [chuckles] - [Ashe] Yeah. 973 00:50:00,292 --> 00:50:01,959 - What, am I going too fast? - A little bit. 974 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,419 - It's okay. - [stammers] Oh, okay, okay. 975 00:50:03,420 --> 00:50:04,795 I get carried away. I get excited. 976 00:50:04,796 --> 00:50:08,049 - You're gonna have to stop me. Listen. - I'm here for it, though. I like it. 977 00:50:08,050 --> 00:50:10,468 I know how to do this. I have the resources. 978 00:50:10,469 --> 00:50:12,470 If you wanna go national, just give me a call. 979 00:50:12,471 --> 00:50:13,554 I'd love to get involved. 980 00:50:13,555 --> 00:50:16,140 Hey, man, I'm always open to a new business opportunity. 981 00:50:16,141 --> 00:50:18,476 Oh, I know it. Go check out my bathrooms. 982 00:50:18,477 --> 00:50:20,937 I got 15 toilets in this place, and they're all your Luxos MTs. 983 00:50:20,938 --> 00:50:23,189 - Stop it. [laughing] - Every one of them. 984 00:50:23,190 --> 00:50:25,024 Hey, a man after my own heart. 985 00:50:25,025 --> 00:50:27,944 [stammers] That's great timing actually because, uh, nature's calling. 986 00:50:27,945 --> 00:50:29,028 [Ashe] Oh. Ooh, ooh. 987 00:50:29,029 --> 00:50:30,112 To more strong-ass gyms. 988 00:50:30,113 --> 00:50:31,614 To more. Many more. More than two. 989 00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:33,533 - Come on, come on. Go big. - [Nick] Yeah. 990 00:50:33,534 --> 00:50:35,577 - [chuckles] I'm going big. - [chuckles] 991 00:50:36,328 --> 00:50:37,954 - We haven't officially met. - Hey. 992 00:50:37,955 --> 00:50:40,206 Barney Choi, I manage Nick's money, 993 00:50:40,207 --> 00:50:43,960 as well as a handful of other high net worth people out here. 994 00:50:43,961 --> 00:50:46,087 Happy to help with anything you might need. 995 00:50:46,088 --> 00:50:49,048 Hey, great. Always one-stop shopping around here. I love it. 996 00:50:49,049 --> 00:50:50,132 - Barney, is it? - Mm-hmm. 997 00:50:50,133 --> 00:50:51,968 Yeah, well, give me a little time to get my bearings, 998 00:50:51,969 --> 00:50:53,344 and you and I should have dinner. 999 00:50:53,345 --> 00:50:54,929 I've been looking for some new opportunities. 1000 00:50:54,930 --> 00:50:56,473 - I'm your man. - Great. 1001 00:51:00,435 --> 00:51:02,479 - [guests cheering] - [energetic song on violin] 1002 00:51:13,740 --> 00:51:15,993 [cheering continues] 1003 00:51:53,530 --> 00:51:55,323 [DJ] ♪ Go ahead Go ahead ♪ 1004 00:51:55,324 --> 00:51:57,074 ♪ Go ahead Go rock back ♪ 1005 00:51:57,075 --> 00:51:58,618 ♪ Get that Go ahead ♪ 1006 00:51:58,619 --> 00:52:00,620 ♪ Go ahead, now Baby, go ahead ♪ 1007 00:52:00,621 --> 00:52:02,413 ♪ You got it You got it ♪ 1008 00:52:02,414 --> 00:52:04,165 ♪ Go ahead That's it ♪ 1009 00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:05,333 ♪ You got it Go ahead ♪ 1010 00:52:05,334 --> 00:52:07,044 [mix playing] 1011 00:52:09,296 --> 00:52:11,089 ♪ Go ahead Go ahead ♪ 1012 00:52:12,132 --> 00:52:14,842 ♪ Right Gotta dance with her ass out ♪ 1013 00:52:14,843 --> 00:52:16,178 ♪ From the front to the back, now ♪ 1014 00:52:16,678 --> 00:52:18,387 ♪ From the side to the side, now ♪ 1015 00:52:18,388 --> 00:52:19,765 ♪ To the other side Rock now ♪ 1016 00:52:20,307 --> 00:52:21,432 ♪ Out of breath Real quick now ♪ 1017 00:52:21,433 --> 00:52:23,227 [mix playing] 1018 00:52:31,777 --> 00:52:34,029 [music continues] 1019 00:52:42,829 --> 00:52:45,331 [laughs] 1020 00:52:45,332 --> 00:52:46,833 Hey. Where's Lisa tonight? 1021 00:52:46,834 --> 00:52:51,504 Oh, you know, she's, uh, taking selfies in Milan, or Paris, or… 1022 00:52:51,505 --> 00:52:53,006 - [mutters] - Still? 1023 00:52:53,674 --> 00:52:57,260 Yeah. Turns out fashion week is not actually a week. 1024 00:52:57,261 --> 00:53:00,137 Hey, sweetheart, can you please get me another cocktail? 1025 00:53:00,138 --> 00:53:01,807 Or maybe it's time we called it a night. 1026 00:53:02,516 --> 00:53:04,308 Gordy, you get me another drink. 1027 00:53:04,309 --> 00:53:06,477 [Gordy] Oh, I'm not getting involved. 1028 00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:08,396 Fine. I will get it myself. 1029 00:53:08,397 --> 00:53:09,647 [stammers] Diane, come on. 1030 00:53:09,648 --> 00:53:11,440 - [Diane] Okay. No. No! - Let's get you home. 1031 00:53:11,441 --> 00:53:13,443 - [screams] - [Peter] Diane-- 1032 00:53:14,319 --> 00:53:17,322 [guests murmuring] 1033 00:53:21,368 --> 00:53:23,537 [panting] 1034 00:53:26,874 --> 00:53:27,958 [chuckles] 1035 00:53:31,587 --> 00:53:33,629 There comes a moment at every soiree 1036 00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:37,676 when it falls upon the host to decide if the night has ended… 1037 00:53:41,471 --> 00:53:43,807 or if it's just beginning. 1038 00:53:44,725 --> 00:53:46,810 - [shouts] - [guests clamoring] 1039 00:53:47,769 --> 00:53:49,855 [guests cheering] 1040 00:53:50,939 --> 00:53:51,940 Everybody in! 1041 00:53:52,983 --> 00:53:54,109 Yeah! 1042 00:53:57,905 --> 00:53:59,448 Turn up the music! 1043 00:54:03,619 --> 00:54:05,370 [cheering continues] 1044 00:54:08,582 --> 00:54:10,083 What is going on? 1045 00:54:12,211 --> 00:54:13,587 Thought we were fighting. 1046 00:54:14,713 --> 00:54:15,923 We're not fighting. 1047 00:54:20,260 --> 00:54:21,719 But if we were fighting, you would… 1048 00:54:21,720 --> 00:54:23,638 - No, Coop. No, Coop. - …you would lose. 1049 00:54:23,639 --> 00:54:24,764 - No! No! - [laughs] Yes. 1050 00:54:24,765 --> 00:54:27,184 - Coop, you're gonna-- [screams] - Bye. 1051 00:54:30,145 --> 00:54:31,730 [exclaiming] 1052 00:54:34,191 --> 00:54:37,109 [guests shout, cheer] 1053 00:54:37,110 --> 00:54:38,820 [party music continues] 1054 00:54:45,702 --> 00:54:48,288 [cheering continues] 1055 00:54:56,171 --> 00:54:58,465 [house music playing in distance] 1056 00:54:59,925 --> 00:55:01,301 You've been avoiding me. 1057 00:55:04,012 --> 00:55:05,179 It was a lot to process. 1058 00:55:05,180 --> 00:55:07,015 [chuckles] Yeah. 1059 00:55:12,020 --> 00:55:14,147 Why didn't you take your job at Bailey back? 1060 00:55:17,401 --> 00:55:18,902 The truth is, I don't really know. 1061 00:55:19,862 --> 00:55:23,991 [stammers] I… I accepted the offer, 1062 00:55:24,658 --> 00:55:26,660 and I'm pretty sure I meant it when I said it. 1063 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,038 But something happened to me when I walked outta that building. 1064 00:55:31,039 --> 00:55:33,792 [stammers] I-I just thought that if I took that offer, 1065 00:55:34,376 --> 00:55:37,170 then everything would go right back to the way it was. 1066 00:55:37,171 --> 00:55:40,924 That I would go right back to the way I was. 1067 00:55:41,592 --> 00:55:43,843 And you didn't like the way it was? 1068 00:55:43,844 --> 00:55:44,970 I thought I did. 1069 00:55:47,556 --> 00:55:48,807 Turns out I didn't. 1070 00:55:50,058 --> 00:55:54,438 Well, this all sounds very existential. 1071 00:55:56,565 --> 00:55:57,982 I don't know if it's profound 1072 00:55:57,983 --> 00:56:00,651 or you're just swallowing your own bullshit, 1073 00:56:00,652 --> 00:56:01,653 but either way… 1074 00:56:03,572 --> 00:56:04,573 I want in. 1075 00:56:06,783 --> 00:56:08,118 What? Why? 1076 00:56:09,828 --> 00:56:11,538 'Cause fuck my father-in-law. 1077 00:56:13,373 --> 00:56:15,209 Uh, okay. 1078 00:56:19,087 --> 00:56:21,048 Grace is pregnant. [sighs] 1079 00:56:23,509 --> 00:56:24,760 - Wow. - Yeah. 1080 00:56:27,387 --> 00:56:29,515 Congratulations. 1081 00:56:36,522 --> 00:56:39,315 Barney getting involved was a terrible idea. 1082 00:56:39,316 --> 00:56:41,692 But that night, as we sat in our drenched clothing, 1083 00:56:41,693 --> 00:56:44,237 happily wasted on a stranger's top-shelf booze, 1084 00:56:44,238 --> 00:56:46,072 watching our friends and neighbors party 1085 00:56:46,073 --> 00:56:48,700 like they were living in an F. Scott Fitzgerald fever dream. 1086 00:56:49,284 --> 00:56:53,622 For the first time in a while, the future seemed, well, promising. 1087 00:56:54,164 --> 00:56:56,749 And maybe it was the painkillers mixing with the booze, 1088 00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:58,918 or maybe it was sheer stupidity, 1089 00:56:58,919 --> 00:57:02,005 but in that moment, I was just drunk enough to believe it. 1090 00:57:03,215 --> 00:57:04,842 ["Burning Down the House" playing]