[indistinct chatter]
- [gasps]
Calm down. You're just saying hi.
No big deal.
Mornin'! You practiced all night.
So you're ready. S'up, girl?
You got this.
You've never done anything like this before
but she can't know that.
[gasps]
Is she waiting for me?
I mean, we've been through a lot together, so--
no, I--I bet she's waiting for someone else.
- Hey!
- I'll just stay out of her wa.
- [grunts] - [groans]
- You're late. Come on.
- [gasps]
[gasps]
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
[Creepy Nuts singing in Japanese]
[Creepy Nuts' "Otonoke"]
♪ ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
- The aliens said there were no girls on their planet--
just dudes. - Oh? Wow.
- I don't know how long it took 'em to travel here,
but I bet their ship smelled like a locker room by
@the time they landed.
I wonder what kind of food aliens like those eat.
- What do you think?
- Huh? Oh, I--I guess, uh...
- Well, here's my class. See ya later.
- Um, yeah.
- [laughs] Later.
- [shouting]
- Get out of the way, you moron.
- Enjoying the view down there, ya perv?
Get lost! - [groans]
[gasps]
[grunts]
Not a problem.
No matter how horrible the other kids are to me,
I can forgive them.
Because now, finally...
I found myself an amazing friend.
[yelps]
[groaning]
- Come on, man, pass! - Here goes.
- I can forgive them.
- It ain't workin'.
She's zoned out.
- I don't know what her deal is.
She hasn't returned any of my texts.
She says she lost her phone.
She bailed on school yesterday.
- Yo, maybe she hooked up with her dirtbag ex.
- Friggin' A.
Maybe he dumped her again
and she freaked and broke her cell
and that's why she's a zombie.
both: That tracks.
- [groans] - Whoa, she's losin' it.
- She's thinkin' about the good times
and it's makin' her squirm.
- [groaning] [both gasping]
[groaning]
I wanna talk about aliens.
- I wanna talk to Miss Ayase about ghosts!
And she totally wanted to talk to me, too.
But I was so nervous, I couldn't.
She must think I'm a jerk!
- [groans] I wanna talk to Okarun!
I wanna find out what he thinks aliens eat,
and if they poop or wear underwear!
- How could you be such a dumb dummy, Ken?
- I wanna talk to Okarun!
- I have to fix it between us or you'll hate me forever!
- I wanna talk to him! I gotta talk to him!
[dramatic guitar music]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[grunting]
- [grunting]
[all shouting]
[both grunting]
- Uh, who?
- What are you, deaf? Okarun.
- Do you know his real name?
- Dude, I ain't tellin' ya his real name!
He wears round glasses and digs the occult!
- Is there a kid like that in our class?
- It's lunch so he's probably in the caf'.
- Um, 'scuse me.
Is there a Miss Ayase here?
- What? Can barely hear ya.
- I'll try the cafeteria.
- Okarun wouldn't be in the caf'.
It's a zoo. I'll try the school store.
- The store?
Well, if she's not in the cafeteria, I'll check ther.
[indistinct chatter]
Oh, she's not here!
I--I'll try the school store.
- Guess I'll try the cafeteria.
[indistinct chatter]
both: Not here, either.
- She's avoiding me.
After this morning she must have decided I was boring
and probably thinks I'm a pest, too.
- Jeez, the lunch break is almost over.
Where the hell is he hiding?
- I hate my life.
- He did seem kinda mopey this morning.
Maybe he thinks I'm pushy.
I kinda am.
I shoulda asked him what was wrong instead
of blabbing away like a dork.
- She's super popular.
What does she need a friend like me for?
Maybe I'm just a backup friend.
- Maybe he doesn't wanna hang out with me.
- Maybe I don't even count as a backup friend.
[inhales deeply]
- [groans]
I feel like such a butt hole.
- What was I thinking?
Why do I have to be such a wimp?
- Man, why am I always like this?
- I'm sorry, Miss Ayasa. - I'm sorry, Okarun.
Ow! Oh, there you are!
- Ow! Miss Ayase!
Wh--What are you doing out here?
- I was gonna ask you the same--
ow, I think you cracked one of my teeth!
- I spent my whole lunch break looking everywhere for you!
- [gasps] Me, too!
Why couldn't you just stay in one place?
- [stammers]
Are you serious? You were looking for me?
- Yeah, and now our lunch is almost over.
- But this whole time I thought you were avoiding me.
- What? [gasps]
I thought you were avoiding me.
Oh, man. This is so awkward.
I better change the subject or-
- [screaming] [both gasping]
You guys were kissing! [both gasping]
- What's your prob, Momo? Why didn't you tell us?
- Now we know why you've been so weird!
- Hold up! You think I go around kissing nerds like him?
- Yeah, and, like, I'd never kiss a stupid girl like her!
- Ah, shut your hole!
I'm doin' the rejectin' around here, ya baldy!
- You're so stupid, you don't know what hair is!
- Oh-ho-ho, typical four-eyes makin' lame comebacks!
- Ah, you just made enemies of glasses-wearers everywhere!
- Well, I don't ever wanna talk to you again!
Go kick rocks.
- Fine! I don't wanna speak to you, either.
[both grunting]
- [low squealing]
- Look at them.
both: They're totes into each other!
- I went way overboard back there.
I like talking to her.
I better come up with an apology.
Huh?
Oh, fu--
- Girl, I heard you were totally making out with some guy
in the courtyard! - Who is he?
What class is he in? - Like I said,
we weren't making out! - They were.
And he's your typical nerd. Glasses, the works.
- Would you shut up already?
- Hey, guys, her bae's comin'.
[all gasping] - I said...
- [grunts] - We weren't making--
the hell are you doing? - [breathing heavily]
I have to talk to you right away!
- Oh, he is a nerd.
- Oof, big nerd.
- Listen, a major issue's come up!
- I said I didn't wanna talk to you anymore,
so go back to class. Go, shoo.
- There's no time for that nonsense!
This is important!
I need to speak with you now, alone!
Please come help me! Talk to me!
- Piss off. - Damn, you're harsh.
I feel sorry for your boyfriend.
- Like I said, he's not my boyfriend!
Quit spreadin' rumors! Jeez!
- This morning you had no problem talking to me.
Why are you acting like this now?
What happened?
- Well, you did say you didn't wanna talk to me.
- I only said that because I felt provoked.
The truth is I like talking to you.
It's all I think about.
- Yeah, sweet talk her! - Go, nerd boy!
- Shut it! I don't wanna talk, and that's that.
Get lost, creep.
- Why are you bein' so mean to the guy?
- You're mean for cheering him on.
- I didn't know being friends
with me embarrassed you that much.
- Babe, you were way too hard on that dude.
If he's just a friend,
a wisecrack or two, like, woulda done the job.
What's up with you?
- [groans]
[school bell chiming]
[indistinct chatter]
- I guess she went home alread.
[gasps] Sorry!
[gasps]
- How clumsy of me!
Are you okay?
- Huh? Y--Yeah.
Are you okay?
- My bag's heavy 'cause of my water bottle.
I hope it didn't hurt too much.
- Nah, it didn't hurt me at all.
I've been workin' out, so...
- I'm really sorry.
- Ah, no, it was my fault!
Really, don't feel bad about it!
- You're so kind. - Huh?
- [giggles]
- [squeals]
- Man, this sucks.
I feel like I'm the bad guy here.
Well, I guess I kinda am.
[gasps]
[both laughing]
- Uh...
The hell is this?
He said he didn't have any friends.
She's pretty cute, too.
- Did you see that guy?
You see his face? He looked so hilarious.
He totally fell for me.
Probably dreaming about me till he's old.
- You are so mean!
- Oh, please.
It's fun having dorks like him drool over me.
That was probably the best combo he ever had with a cute girl.
Heck, that was probably the first time he
was ever touched by a girl. And the last.
No harm in letting him dream about me for a bit.
I made that four-eyed loser's day.
[clangs] - [groans]
[clattering]
- Aira! - Are you okay?
Where'd that thing come from?
It just fell on her from nowhere!
- Oh, no! That girl passed out!
Uh-oh. Could it be a delayed reaction
from bumping into me?
[gasps] M--Miss Ayase!
- Okarun! Wanna walk me home?
Damn, you're lookin' sharp in those glasses.
[grunts] - [gasps]
- Some girls are just too stupid to see how cool
a guy like you is.
They deserve wash tubs falling on 'em instead
of guys falling for 'em.
[all gasping]
My attitude today was the worst.
I'm sorry.
In the courtyard after that, you know, teeth banging thing,
I kinda lost it.
[groans] Sorry for behaving that way.
And, like, I'm not embarrassed about us being friends.
- Oh, I know.
I totally get it.
I'm just happy we could sort it out and be friends again.
[gasps]
- [groans]
- Ah!
A--Anyway, that stuff's not important now!
- Huh? What do you mean, it's not important?
I couldn't stop thinkin' about it!
- Calm down for a second and listen.
You know how we thought we took care of Turbo Granny?
- Yeah, she's gone.
We even did a special prayer.
No more curse and you got your peen.
Everything's back to normal.
- Not quite.
- Say what?
- My balls. - Huh?
- My balls are gone.
- [cackling]
- Now you know why I asked to see your junk.
How in the hell did you not notice?
They're your balls, dumb ass.
- Would you stop? It's not funny!
When I saw my shaft there I was so relieved,
I forgot to check the rest.
- Listen to you calling it a shaft like it's massive.
Your age, it's more like a little pencil.
- Uh, you've never seen it!
- That settles it.
I better scope you out.
- What? You're going to look?
- Not at your wiener, you doofus!
- [cackling]
- I'm gonna take a peek into your soul.
- [groans] - [gasps]
- Yep. Momo, bring me some kind of doll.
And bring a wash tub full of water.
There's somethin' hiding inside him.
Right, let's get this show on the road.
That talisman stuck on good?
[inhales sharply]
You dummy! - [grunts]
- [scoffs] - What?
What was that for, huh?
- Don't move or speak, you rotten tangerine.
- What the--you're acting like a teacher in some old TV show!
- The lines in the kanji for "person" support each other!
- Yeow, that hurt!
You're not Kinpachi-sensei,
and he'd never call a kid a rotten tangerine!
- Momo, you see anything just now?
- Huh?
- Yeah, I did.
When you smacked him...
The color of his aura changed.
- I'm gonna need your help with this.
When you see the aura change color,
grab it and pull it out.
- I can take out a person's aura?
- It's not his.
And if it ain't part of him, you should be able to snatch it.
Get ready.
Focus on it.
- [whimpering]
- Okay.
- [grunt] - [groans]
[all shouting]
- [groans]
- Whoa, I felt it in my hands!
I had it, but it's gone!
I'm sorry, Grandma! I don't know where it went!
- Take it easy.
[sizzling]
[heartbeat thumps]
Stop. - Wait!
- No, you don't!
It's getting away!
Go on, get after it!
[both breathing heavily]
- Dang it. Where'd that thing go?
- Come out, you rotten tangerine!
- [gasps]
I know.
[grunts]
Here, kitty, kitty.
Ah-hah!
[grunts]
I got it!
[breathing heavily]
It's in here!
[door creaks]
[gasps]
- Let me go right now!
I'll murder you wall! Let me go!
[grunts]
- That was amazing.
Your psychic powers have gotten even stronger.
- Oh, yeah. I know.
What's the deal with this thing?
- Beats me.
- Look what we got here.
- What is it?
- That's Turbo Granny.
[both gasping]
- I thought we got rid of her for good!
She should be in the afterlife!
- Don't go underestimatin' the elderly.
A couple of squirts like you can't destroy me that easy.
- You're kinda cute like that.
- Don't you disrespect me, you little punk!
Right when the barrier started burnin' me,
I switched over to my astral form
and swam through the fire.
Then I popped into the boy.
My energy was low and I was so close to dyin',
none of ya could even tell I was in 'im.
So I stayed nice and quiet,
waitin' to get all of my power back.
The second I did,
I was gonna jump out
and straight up murder you all!
- Give it up, lady. Ya lost. Deal with it.
- I ain't lost nothin'!
'Specially to no numb skull chibi like you!
I'm gonna make you suffer for this.
Once my power's back, I'll snap your bones!
[agonized shouting]
- You don't get the situation you're in, do ya?
You can talk scary all you want
but in the end we're in charge, not you.
- You hear that? It's over for you!
Give back my balls!
Give 'em back right now or else!
- If I were you,
I'd forget all about gettin' rid of me.
'Cause if I die,
any hope you have of gettin' your nuts back dies with me.
[both gasping]
Do you morons get the situation you're in now?
I'm in charge here 'cause I got the kid by his balls, literally.
You're gonna kill these bitches for me.
So go to the kitchen and grab a knife.
Kill 'em and you get your nuts back.
- No way! - Get on with it!
- [grunting] - Make up your mind!
You want your balls or don't ya?
Get a knife and start killin'!
- [groans]
[exhales sharply] - [gasps]
[gasps]
- Murder cat's got me stressin' now.
Such a bummer.
- What in the heck? - [gasps]
- How can you transform when we drove the old bat outta ya?
- He can't! He shouldn't!
- See this paper fan?
It's got the power to drive evil spirits out of folks.
You must've been hangin' onto him real tight 'cause
it looks like only your consciousness left
the kid's body.
You get that, hon?
Only your consciousness is in the doll.
Your power's still in the kid here.
And guess what?
I'm the only one that can put you back together.
Callin' this here Kinpachi a bitch was way out of line.
You dumb ass cat turd rotten tangerine!
- [whimpering]
- Don't hit me, sensei! I'm sorry!
- I ain't your sensei, squirt! You wanna trash talk me?
- There you go. You are a bad ass.
[both shouting]
- [exhales]
- Oh, you're back.
That was awesome.
How'd you transform just now?
- Um, I don't know. - Screw this!
- I remember getting really mad and next thing I knew,
I was that other me. [paper fan smacking]
[both shouting]
- Grandma, it's cool. Take a break.
All right, Turbo Granny, listen up.
Sure, you're a bitter and mean old bag,
but in the end, I get why.
You felt as sorry for those dead girls as I did.
So let's all chill out and be nice.
Here's the deal.
If you give his balls back, we'll give you back your power.
Cool?
- [scoffs] Damn delinquents.
All right.
- Then it's settled.
Okay, lady. Hand over his balls.
- They ain't with me.
- Now, look, we had a deal here.
Give 'em back-- - I don't have 'em.
I swear.
I sorta lost 'em.
I'm not sure where. [both gasping]
[Zutomayo's "Taidada"]
♪ ♪
[Zutomayo singing in Japanese]
♪ ♪
- Dangerous, dangerous. - What's dangerous?
- What? - Huh?
- Folks say something's dangerous when
they see something dangerous. - Totally.
Next time, "A Dangerous Woman Arrives."
- Can someone tell me what's dangerous?