[lights click on] -
You're 27 years old.
- No, I'm 20.
- You've got a wife and kids.
- No, I'm single.
- You like curry.
- No, I like ramen.
[buzzing]
- That Santa Dodoria was somethin' else.
- She got everything wrong.
- That idol's so young there's no way he's got a wife and kids.
Hell, even I coulda guessed that one.
Should we run this or dump it?
- Might as well run it.
Hardly anyone watches local
shows like this anyway.
[beeps]
[hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- 'Scuse me, aren't you Santa Dodoria?
Saw you on TV the other day.
You really have psychic powers or is it just an act?
- Drop me here. I'll walk.
- Uh, huh?
I wasn't trying to insult you or anything. Honest.
I was hoping for a prediction on a--
I predict you'll die if you don't leave.
- [snarling]
[bones crackling]
[cackling]
[booming]
- Well, well.
First I thought she brought home another scumbag.
Turns out this one ain't even human.
Swear to God.
My grandkid has been nothin' but trouble lately.
The stress of it all's dryin' my skin out.
[scoffs]
Get up. Let's sort ya out.
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
[Creepy Nuts singing in Japanese]
[Creepy Nuts' "Otonoke"]
♪ ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
♪ DanDaDan, DanDaDan, DanDaDan ♪
- [chattering]
[shouts]
[wailing]
- [gasps]
[shouts] Oh, you're a speedy little jerk.
Even so, your attack was predictable.
I knew you'd come at me from my blind spot.
- [snarls]
- And now you're standing in
the trap I had waiting for ya.
- [shouting]
- If you step foot outta that circle, you'll die.
That right there is a barrier hub.
[clanging]
See that warding nail inside this circle?
That means I'm standing in a barrier.
The nail outside your circle means
the barrier's all around you.
So if you're wondering how you got barbecued before,
it's 'cause I was already standing inside my barrier.
[sparking]
- [snarls]
When I get out I'm gonna eat you alive.
You think this stupid barrier will keep me trapped forever?
- I wasn't planning on keeping you at all, hon.
The plan was to kill ya.
[grunts] [blow lands]
- [shouting]
[bat clangs]
- Stand your ground
or I'll knock ya over the line!
- [groans]
- You poor thing.
Being fast doesn't help you much in that barrier, does it?
- You dirty old hag!
- Now the old hag calls an old hag a dirty old hag.
I hate hypocrites.
- [wails]
[clangs]
If you kill me, the boy I cursed dies with me.
Ya want that?
[bones cracking]
- Any scumbag that seduces my grandkid gets murdered.
Even if they're human.
- Huh?
[clangs]
- Buh-bye.
- Dirty old hag!
[booming]
- [gasps]
[gasps]
[breathing heavily] Okarun!
[laughter over TV]
Hmm, were you home this whole time?
- Keep your voice down.
I'm trying to watch "Bakatono" here.
- But I--I need to talk to you about something kinda important.
- You went someplace haunted. - [gasps]
Uh-huh.
Well, I didn't go.
A friend of mine did.
- Why? - [gasps]
Oh, you know, we were talking.
One thing led to another.
- [laughs]
This "Bakatono's" a national treasure.
- Stop watching that and listen!
Didja happen to see a boy around here?
'Cause, like, there's gonna be big trouble if I'm not with him.
- Trouble like the evil spirit I killed?
- [gasps] Huh?
What'd the spirit look like?
Did it have glasses?
- What's your problem?
I thought you didn't believe in ghosts and stuff like that.
Besides, I'm a fake, remember?
[exhales]
- [exhales]
How long are you gonna hold that against me?
We could be in danger!
All I want is a straight answer from you!
- Okay. Don't believe that stuff.
There are no ghosts. Take it from a fake medium.
- [grunts]
Grandma.
- Hmm?
- I apologize. I was wrong and I admit it.
Now please, tell me what you did with the evil spirit.
- Go to the main shrine.
- [gasps]
You old bag! [grunts]
If you hurt Okarun, I'll never forgive you!
[door slams]
[breathing heavily]
- I guess I didn't wanna miss my chance.
- He was just a guy that was into the paranormal.
He just wanted a friend.
This is my fault.
I forced him to go into that tunnel.
I'm sorry, Okarun!
Okarun!
- Hmm?
[muffled] You're alive! Thank goodness!
I don't remember what happened! I thought I killed you--
Hey!
Miss Ayase?
Miss Ayase!
- You four-eyed freak! You're still alive?
- What? Yeah, I'm alive! Sorry if that pisses you off!
- Man.
This is so annoying.
[groans]
- So is hangin' with monsters a new thing
or were you always doing that? - Please, don't scare me!
- As long as he's in there, the curse won't kick in.
But if he takes one step outside he's back in monster mode.
- What was the point in lying to me and saying you killed him?
- Freaked you out for a sec, didn't it?
Is this the kinda guy you're into?
- Hell no!
This, like, turbo granny stole his peen.
And she said he was gonna stay cursed till he got it back.
Whole thing's messed up.
And it's my fault what happened to him happened.
I wanna help him but I don't know how.
- Ah, so you are into him.
- I am not!
And another thing.
I got psychic power or whatever now.
- What the hell are you talkin' about?
- I went somewhere and saw a UFO.
Something happened and now I got these powers.
- Interesting, but UFOs ain't real.
- Yeah, I thought so, too,
till yesterday when I saw aliens.
Anyway, I really do have psychic powers now
and if I don't use them to keep Okarun's curse in check,
he freaks the F out.
- That totally tracks 'cause psychic powers are real.
- Wow, not like you're biased or anything.
- So turbo granny's got her hooks in the kid.
She's a real pain in the ass, let me tell ya.
Way back when,
she was called the 100-kilometers-an-hour granny
and she used to rampage all ovr the country.
She was a modern-day yokai but sightings were rare.
One day I heard she was hanging out
in that old tunnel.
So I went to check it out for myself.
The place felt weird.
The spiritual power in that tunnel
was so strong, I couldn't go inside.
You know what a bound spirit i?
It's a spirit that stays in one location
that it's got a strong attachment to.
And of all the spirits in their territory,
they're the strongest.
They're so strong,
no spirit medium can hope to fight 'em.
[exhales]
And that tunnel already had a bound spirit in it.
You know what that means, don't ya?
Turbo granny and that bound spirit fused into one.
Don't you go back there.
Last thing I want is to lose you to that.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales]
It's the kid's problem
and there's nothing you can do for him.
Best to forget about him. - [gasps]
- Go back to your normal life.
- Times like this I wonder, "What would the Ken I love do?"
When I'm confused and can't decide,
I ask myself that and I always pick right.
So if Ken had to choose, he'd step up and help!
And that's what I'm gonna do!
- The kid told me his name was Ken.
So you are in love with him.
- No, I don't mean him!
I wasn't talking about that Ken!
- Hey, kid, she's totally in love with you. Congrats.
- No! I was talking about Ken the actor! The actor!
- If you're gonna help, we'll need a plan.
- Huh?
- You'll play tag with turbo granny.
- Huh? - She so fast,
she thinks no one can run away from her.
So if you challenge her,
she'll accept without thinking twice about it.
Now, here's the tough part.
The bound spirit's territory is Shono City.
You'll have to lure turbo granny outside the city limits
without getting caught.
And once she's out of her territory,
she'll be so weak, even you guys can take her out.
No sweat.
- I can't play tag with no turbo granny.
I got noodle legs. I get winded if I run a block.
Why can't we use a barrier?
Can't you make one that's gnarly enough for her?
We can put it in the tunnel.
[exhales] I wish I could, kiddo.
But I can't use my power to help.
- What? Why can't you?
- My barrier spells work 'cause I borrow the power of the god
that lives in this territory.
If I leave Kamigoe City, I don't have any power.
That's how it is.
- I didn't know territories applied to us.
- Yep, every territory has its own god.
The trick is to play home games.
Never away games.
Anywho, tag's the only way to get rid of turbo granny.
If you get in shape you'll probably get fast enough
to beat her in a race.
- You're not kidding, are you?
You remember how hard I trained for track, and even then,
I still couldn't make the team? - You don't have to train.
- Hmm?
- He does. - [gasps]
- Oh, gotcha.
- May I join the conversation about me now?
- Sorry, I forgot.
Okarun's got no stamina at all.
- She's right. I don't.
- And to hold his curse down,
I have to stick close to him.
- He can carry you piggy back.
- How much do you weigh, Miss Ayase?
- Would you like to die?
- Yeah, this won't work!
And, like, cursed mode I can only go all out about twice.
- That's true.
- Then train so you can go all out all the time.
Push-ups, sit-ups, back work, squats.
Five sets and 100 reps of each. - Huh?
Do it. And Momo, you have to train your psychic powers.
They need to be at a higher level than they are now.
[inhales]
[exhales]
Since I won't be any help in the fight,
both of you have to get way stronger.
So it looks like I'll be training the two of you now.
We start tomorrow, so get some sleep.
Actually, four-eyes, get some reps in now.
- Oh, sure.
- [groans] - She's so young for a grandma.
- And so annoying.
- I need to apologize for something.
- What?
- Before when we were fighting that big alien,
I got so desperate there I couldn't think
of anyone other than myself.
I'm sorry.
- Don't be. That was a hairy situation.
- Yeah, but the way you handled it,
you saved me and killed the alien.
I just want you to know that I'll do my best.
So the next time something like that happens,
I can save you.
I don't wanna disappoint you.
And I don't want you to stop being my friend.
- Look, I'm not disappointed in you. Don't overthink it.
- Then why'd you go and slam the door in my face before?
- Whoa, that was, uh-- - Ah, I knew it!
You are disappointed in me!
- I just said I wasn't, but right now, yeah,
'cause you're bein' a pain in the ass.
- I'm sorry.
- You were pretty rad during that fight.
But you're still a dork and next time I'll probably have
to save you then, too.
- [gasps]
- I'll get you a futon.
You're sleepin' out here tonight.
[grunting]
[exhales]
Miss Ayase!
- Yeah?
- I, um, sorta...
[whimpers]
You know, uh...
I'm thirsty, so may I have some water?
- Grandma, you mind if I have some of your barley tea?
- Nope.
- Shocking news just came in. [camera shutters clicking]
We have learned that Shoma, the famous pop idol,
has a secret child and he is not 20 years old
as he's frequently claimed, but 27.
- What about his favorite food?
It's curry, not ramen, like I said.
[beeping]
- Also-- - He and his partner--
- Are not-- - Legally--
- Married.
[crowd laughing] - [laughs]
- The news is hot garbage these days.
- Miss Ayase!
- Aw, crap, Okarun!
He's gotta use the bathroom!
- Let him. - I can't. That's the problem.
Remember what I told you?
If something's blocking my view of him,
I can't keep a lid on his curse!
The only way to let him do his business
is for me to watch him doin' it! - Then watch.
- I am not watchin' him do his business!
- I wouldn't let you anyway!
I'd rather explode than lose my dignity!
Ah! You're not looking! Turn around!
[gasps]
- I could use some ideas if you got 'em.
- Yeah, I got nothin'.
I am curious about how you're suppressing his curse, though.
- Oh, yeah, that.
How do I put it?
It's like I see an aura around him.
- Really?
- And if I picture my hands squeezing it,
the aura shrinks and the curse settles down.
Auras come in different colors.
I can see 'em on everything.
Even rocks and trees.
If I concentrate, I can grab 'em.
Then I can move 'em up and down, back and forth,
however I want, but only in a tiny area.
- Hmm.
I always thought supernatural abilities
would be more powerful.
Yours seem kinda limited.
- When my powers first awakened in me,
they were a hell of a lot more awesome than this.
Suddenly it was like whatever I imagined became real.
It felt like I was invincible.
But that didn't last too long,
and now all I can do is grab auras and stuff.
- Momo, close your eyes for a bit.
- What? No!
I don't want the curse takin' him over again!
- I think your problem is you rely
on your eyes too much.
Use one of your other senses.
Like your sense of touch, maybe.
If you can grab auras,
I bet that also means you can feel 'em.
So shut your peepers and try feeling
the aura against your skin.
- [grunts]
- Read out and feel it.
- It's cold.
Is it working?
- Yeah, not really.
- Dang it!
- Double dang it.
- I can't take it anymore! This is it!
I'm gonna blow!
- Do somethin' or he's gonna crap his pants.
- I was doing what you told me to!
- I don't want you watching me use the bathroom but--
[screams]
I won't soil myself in front of you, either!
- Get back here!
- Bathroom first! [muffled shouting]
- Don't go droppin' loads in other people's houses!
It's bad manners!
- Not if you're desperate!
- [gasps] Wait!
I didn't say you could use our bathroom!
- Yeah, whatever! The turtle head's pokin' out
and there's no stoppin' it! - Oh, it's on now!
- In this house no one runs faster than me!
- Except the guy trying to use the bathroom!
- Nice form, Ken Takakura! - Ooh!
- I beat you all!
[both shouting]
This is humiliating.
- For you and me both.
- I always wanted to have a paranormal experience
like getting kidnapped by aliens.
- For real? - This sucks!
I just want this curse to end already.
- Momo, you said when you first got your powers
you felt invincible for a little while there.
- Mm-hmm. - I think you were accessing
your full power then.
But for some reason or another it got sealed off.
- That actually sounds kinda cool.
- Ah, it's a pain in the ass.
You have to unseal your power bit by bit through training.
Who knows how long it'll take till you can access all of it?
You got time now.
The kid needs to get in shape and that's gonna take a while.
- I hate that you have to watch me on the toilet!
- You think I like i--
[gasps] Grandma, it's turbo granny!
She's loose again! Grandma?
Can you hear me?
[snarls] What have you done
to my grandma, you bitch?
- Your choice: heart attack or stroke.
How do you want her to die?
My curse is contagious thanks to this brat here.
I can curse anyone he looks at to death!
No more playin' around, missy.
I won't give you any more time!
Come to the tunnel tonight or I'm gonna use the kid
to curse and kill everyone!
The tunnel, tonight! - [snarls]
- Got it?
[door creaks] - [gasps]
- What happened?
- [gasps] Grandma!
- W--Why am I bleeding?
- Your ears are bleeding, too!
Is your head okay?
- Momo, tell me everything that just happened.
- Do I have to wear this? - I can't see through my mask.
- Those outfits are evil spirit-proof,
so they stay on.
You gotta be super careful now or you could die.
You know, we might look harmless,
but we did beat up those aliens pretty good.
- There's no such thing as aliens.
And quit jokin' around. This is serious.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Can you give the attitude a rest already?
'Cause that's the reason you're always getting into trouble.
You never listened to me, even when you were little.
- Okay, geez!
Your nagging's what's gonna kill me.
Come on, Okarun. - [exhales]
- Momo. - What? What is it?
- Don't die on me.
- 'Kay.
- Please.
Watch over those two.
Protect them.
- Why are we going by train?
- 'Cause it's too far by bike,
and we're gonna need all our strength to pull this off.
Turbo granny's gonna wish she never met me.
- I'm sorry I put you in danger. - Not even!
No way can I let that ghost hag hurt someone I care about!
I'm comin', turbo granny!
And I'm gonna kick your ass!
[Zutomayo's "Taidada"]
♪ ♪
[Zutomayo singing in Japanese]
♪ ♪
[all gasping]
- You can't change here! Everyone on the train's staring!
- I'm not wearing that stupid outfit.
- What are you talking about?
The whole point of wearing it's
to protect you from evil spirits.
Your grandma said so!
- Please, I look like a dork.
Fashion is the best armor for gyaru.
And lookin' fire's what hypes me up for a fight.
[chuckles]
- [gasps] You're in a good mood.
- Yeah, isn't this fun?
- Not even! I feel like I'm about to puke.
- Who you callin' tacky, you old hag?
- Wait, what? - Turbo granny called me tacky
the other day, remember? - What, she did?
- Yeah, when you were rockin' the curse!
[groans] Let's do this!
both: Next time, "Kickin' Turbo Granny's Ass."
- I wish we didn't have to take the train.