Come on!
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! -Thank you! Thank you!
Please be seated.
Thank you so much!
Archana ji, I didn't put much thought into my outfit today.
-Why? -Because our guests today
-truly outshine everyone else. -I see.
Anything worn by these two style icons
quickly becomes a fashion trend.
-Wow! -They are the stars of Hindi cinema.
Their aura can't be described. It has to be witnessed.
Please welcome Madhuri Dixit and Mr. Jackie Shroff!
-Superb! -A big round of applause
for Jaggu Dada and Madhuri ji!
Thank you, girls. Thank you so much.
Jaggu Dada, Madhuri ji, welcome to the show!
-Thank you. -You both look absolutely splendid!
-Thank you. -I was just telling everyone
that your style outshines everyone else's!
Come on, bring out your trunk full of couplets!
-Unlock the vault! -Should I?
Yes, bring it out!
Her glances shoot like arrows Aimed straight and true
"Her glances shoot like arrows, aimed straight and true."
Yes!
One look at her And joy lifts me to heaven's view!
How can I calm my heart When Madhuri is so near?
It skips past warning signs, ignoring fear
"It skips past warning signs, ignoring fear!"
-Hold your heart steady, don't let it roam -Why?
Your wife is watching, from right at home!
-Hey! -The pillow!
Thank you!
This is how all the pillows ended up here, Dada.
-How about a couplet for Jaggu Dada? -Yes!
A personality like his is Bollywood's greatest possession
Everyone bows down To his unmistakable expression
Tiger gets his fire from this man
Jaggu Dada, powerhouse of the clan!
Well said!
-Waheguru! -Love you!
-Thank you. I love you. -Love you, sir.
It's true. Jaggu Dada always stands out.
That signature way he wraps a handkerchief around his neck!
Dada, you look amazing!
Dinesh tried your style once.
It seemed as if taking the handkerchief off would snap his neck.
Don't even try.
And what can I say about Madhuri ma'am? Ma'am, you know…
Yes?
If a man's wife styles her hair like yours,
the woman might stay the same,
but the man suddenly behaves like he married Madhuri herself!
Ma'am, tell me something. When you wake up in the morning,
walk up to the wash basin mirror, look at yourself, and go…
"I am Madhuri!"
Do you ever feel a sense of pride
-knowing you are Madhuri Dixit? -Oh my God!
Well, nothing like that. I am Madhuri Dixit indeed!
As we all know, Dr. Nene, Madhuri ji's husband,
is a heart surgeon.
She's known as the "Dhak Dhak Girl" for making hearts race everywhere.
Only a heart surgeon was qualified to handle her.
Right.
Ma'am, you know, many doctors in Mumbai,
when they treat patients with low BP,
don't prescribe medicines.
They simply prescribe one Madhuri song after breakfast…
and one after dinner. That keeps their BP in check.
Dada, is your BP under control today?
Well, I'm looking for Dr. Nene.
Only Dr. Nene can save me from this fluttering heart!
You're unable to stand steady with Madhuri ji around.
You're all shaky. Am I right?
Has this ever happened? Doctor sahab rings the bell, you open the door,
and he's left awestruck! "Madhuri in my house!"
-Happens every day. -All my love to you, Dr. Nene.
You got a lovely lady.
You know, Madhuri ji is the reason behind many things in the industry.
Anil Kapoor sahab's iconic "jhakaas" came out the moment he first saw her.
Dada, please come. Have a seat.
Please, ma'am.
Dada, you look so handsome wearing that hat and all.
Did you come by car, or did you ride a horse here?
I like it! That was a really good one.
I didn't really notice how I got here,
because the person I was about to meet was what truly mattered.
So why bother about the journey here?
Whether I arrived by car or by horse!
That's all I'm gonna say.
See that little plant hanging around Dada's neck?
Dada, you are an inspiration.
You're doing a beautiful, noble deed,
Years ago, Dada gave me a plant as a gift.
Dada, you know, I made it a habit
to plant a tree every birthday.
Now my kids-- They've grown up now.
I planted a sapling for each of them too, making it three in total.
-That's great. -You're my inspiration, Dada.
Thank you for that.
Done?
Stop clapping and go plant trees!
As long as the Earth endures, so do we. Until we return to the soil.
Everyone knows that.
All the vegetables will grow the same way.
They'll grow over us.
-Yeah, they will. It's true. -Yes!
It's best to set things right while we still can.
It's important to love your planet.
Nothing else really matters.
-Right. -So, everyone-- You did a fantastic job!
It's nice to see you teaching your children these things early on.
-So true. -Sir, what does nature have to say?
Nature has a simple message, "Care for me, and I'll care for you."
-True. -It also says…
Leaf-laden trees will always give us shade
And if they're cut, my friends Their fire will still be made
Absolutely. Incredible!
Yeah. Clap it up!
-Dada, you know… -Yes, bhidu?
there's been a recent research study on Madhuri ji.
Wherever Madhuri ji is,
the air around her equals the oxygen of a hundred trees.
That keeps people fresh.
Oxygen helps you stay fresh, Dada.
-I mean-- -Kapil ji.
-Amazing. -When I lived in Denver,
we planted many trees there.
-Apple, plum, strawberries… -Wow!
curry leaves, mint leaves,
tomatoes.
When you can eat fruits and vegetables grown on your own land,
-it really feels wonderful. -It really does.
I would like to tell our viewers that today's episode
is not sponsored by the Ministry of Environment.
These are our genuine opinions.
Because we truly believe this is essential in today's times.
-Yes. -Truly.
Jaggu Dada and Madhuri ji have done many incredible movies together.
Parinda, Khal Nayak, 100 Days, Ram Lakhan,
-Tridev, Sangeet. -Sangeet. Yeah.
Their friendship goes back a long way.
Ma'am, when you first saw Jaggu Dada
and spoke to him, what was your impression of him?
What I remember from the first time I saw him is that
I was working on a song in Karma. A small part.
-I see. -For Subhash ji.
Jaggu Dada was there, so was Anil ji.
Both of them were sitting in a corner and looking at me like this.
Really?
-Wow! -The first time.
And I was really nervous because I was new there.
I had only a small part in that song in the film.
It was you and Sridevi ji.
They watch that song and imagine themselves in it.
I'll tell you.
For the first time-- Well, I had only heard of her,
not seen her.
Saroj Khan ji, the late legendary choreographer…
She came to Subhash ji and said to him
"There's a beautiful heroine who's also an exceptional dancer."
-"Make sure you cast her in your film." -Yes, yes.
-Well, after that-- -That's also where we met.
-Still awestruck! -I was rehearsing,
-and both of them gawked at me. -I am still awestruck!
I am still awestruck!
Still the same. Still haven't recovered from it.
And-- I used to literally blush.
Dada, why were you watching her dance instead of rehearsing?
Sometimes, son…
you must forget yourself.
Madhuri ji has done every kind of role with me.
-It's really-- I feel happy. -Yes.
She has played my wife, my girlfriend,
-my sister. -Yes.
She also played my mother-in-law.
-Mother-in-law? When… -Sangeet.
Sangeet.
-"O Rabba Koi To Bataye…" -Yeah!
-I was playing the mother and daughter! -Jaggu…
-Okay, okay. -I was wondering, "When did that happen?"
That's amazing, Dada. Your memory is sharp.
Love you for that. There are so many roles, you know?
-Yes. -Yeah.
When it comes to dance, the world agrees that no one comes close to Madhuri Dixit.
But with Dada, people would fall at his feet,
begging him to do it in one take!
Dada, along with the excitement, did you also feel nervous working with Madhuri ji?
When it came to dance?
Because she's an exceptional dancer.
I was never nervous because all eyes would be on her.
I remember the song in Ram Lakhan.
-"O Ramji, Bada Dukh Di Na…" Remember? -"Dukh Di Na…"
-There's a story behind it. -Okay.
Saroj ji was informed about the song,
but she wasn't given any background.
-I see. -Where it fit into the film
or why it was there.
Saroj ji was simply sent the song and asked to choreograph it.
So when we reached the sets,
Saroj ji was fully prepared.
Subhash ji asked her to demonstrate the choreography.
And her steps were bursting with energy!
Yeah, I remember.
Subhash ji exclaimed, "The girl's character isn't like that at all!"
"She's very innocent, and…"
-With the brother-in-law around. -She-- With the brother-in-law around.
-And she's-- -She couldn't just break into a dance!
She's complaining--
No, really, this was the conversation.
-Conversation… -Why are they applauding?
-Within seconds, Saroj ji-- -In just seconds,
-she changed it. -She revamped the choreography.
Kudos to Saroj ji for bringing that song to life so beautifully.
Yes.
Who was your favorite choreographer?
I'm sure it was Saroj ji.
-Saroj ji. -No doubt about it.
Dada, who was your favorite?
Okay, skip the favorite. Who annoyed you the most?
One who made you work a lot.
I was never mad at them. They would get mad at me.
They'd be fed up with me.
They'd wonder, "How do we make this mountain move?"
I…
Dada, before entering films,
you obviously grew up watching movies.
Who was your favorite actor?
-Dev sahab. -Wow.
Yeah.
Even today…
Dev sahab gave me my first film.
I never thought someone like me, living in a chawl, would get a role.
Dev sahab said,
"I saw your photo this morning, and now you're right in front of me."
"You will definitely get a role."
And he offered me one!
He gave me a role, and I couldn't believe it.
I can't tell you.
-It was fate! -Amazing.
-I think the makers then
-were very instinctive. -Right!
And instinctively,
they would scout someone from the crowd.
-I don't know. Spontaneous! -The person you grew up idolizing
-is now casting you! -Yes!
That's a huge deal!
Dada, that's exactly how we feel seeing you both here.
We can't believe it.
When we see you--
We didn't even have enough money to watch a movie in the theater.
When the main theater stopped running it,
and small, local theaters would start running it for cheap,
that's when we could watch it.
We're so blessed that you're on our show.
-Love you both. -We're blessed too.
-We love you! -Thank you. Yeah.
-Thank you. -You're one of the finest.
-Thank you, Dada. -No kidding, really.
-Absolutely. -You're a heavy hitter yourself.
Madhuri ji once said that after doing so many romantic films,
she has so much experience that she could even romance a rock.
After working with which actor did you say those lines?
Well done!
Tell us!
You can say my name. It's fine.
No, no. It's no one.
I said that…
because of my love for romance.
I love romance.
And I love the thought of being in love.
That's why I said that I can even
-look at a rock romantically. -I can romance it.
-No doubt about it. -Romancing--
Romancing the stone.
I don't think she'd just look at a rock romantically.
I think she'd melt it.
-Well said! -Wow!
-Oh my! -Look…
even this rock from Amritsar is beginning to melt.
Madhuri, when you met Dr. Nene,
did you romance him, or did he romance you?
Well, I think it was very mutual.
-Oh, okay. -Because we met, talked,
and something clicked.
Doctor!
Yes!
Dr. Nene!
Ram sahab!
Madhuri ma'am, as you said, you were shy when you were new to the industry.
-Yes. -Was there any actor who felt shy
-during romantic scenes with you? -Me!
-You would get shy?! -Yes, bhidu!
I'm not used to it.
A movie is actually filmed in real life.
Some emotions are private, they live in the heart.
How can you just project them onto a screen?
When she speaks, it's very hard to sing and look into her eyes.
Very lovely! She is expressive.
She is so immersed in her role.
When it's a romantic film, she is romancing!
I understand your feelings, Dada.
You do, right? Exactly!
Oh my!
But, Dada, we've spoken to many actresses
who say your eyes carry such affection
that they forget their lines.
Well, I'm not creepy.
Yes!
-Creepy! -Not at all.
-Right? -There is a purity in his personality.
-Of course. -You know…
-he's so innocent and down to earth. -Hear this!
Even when I was doing Ram Lakhan,
we were working on the song "Bada Dukh Dina O Ramji…"
Oh, she was--
It wasn't just that song. She performed all of them beautifully.
She understood every song.
The song "Maar Daala."
-Chunni babuji. -Sailaab.
-That was our last film together. Hello! -You name it-- Which one?
-Which one? -Devdas.
Oh! Chunni babu! "C" for…
Sorry.
Wow, you beauty! So lovely!
-God bless you. -Your movies have been so fun, Dada.
Some things are not there anymore.
There was a movie, Doodh Ka Karz,
where a snake bites the heroine,
and Jaggu Dada sucks the venom out.
We had fun watching it. I'm sure you had fun as well.
-He means something else. -No, I was-- Dada, no!
Dada, actors these days ask questions about the scene.
"What if I do this? How will it work?"
"How can you suck out venom like that?"
"Won't I die?"
Dada, how would the director convince you?
Didn't you say, "There isn't a single snake charmer in my family tree."
"How can I pull this off?"
When I entered films, I didn't know much.
I didn't understand much then, and I still don't.
If they asked me to do it, I would.
Whatever they told me, I did.
As he read the script, he said, "The snake is your brother."
Whenever they came to narrate the script to us,
the stories would be like this.
Just over-the-top scenes and all that. Nothing more.
The snake is your brother, and your girlfriend's father stole his jewel.
So that's-- And your girlfriend is the one wearing the jewel.
So the snake is after her.
There was no time to study the script.
-I worked on a movie that had a dog in it. -Yeah!
-The dog-- -Teri Meherbaniyan.
-Teri Meherbaniyan. Wow! -Teri Meherbaniyan.
I'm sure everyone remembers it. What a film!
What happens in that movie is that Dada's character dies,
and the dog avenges him.
If you narrate this story to someone today,
-"Your character has been killed off--" -The dog is dead,
and you are avenging his death!
People ask why I agreed to do the opposite.
The dog became the hero.
True! Actors would have their dogs chase the narrator for that!
"Am I in the dog's story, or is the dog in mine?"
Dada, was that dog yours?
No. His name was James.
After each take, he'd chill in an air-conditioned car.
-After the pack-up, air-conditioned hotel. -Wow!
Shampoo and massage regularly.
Every day, he was treated
-the way they're supposed to be treated! -Of course.
That's the proper way to love them.
The dogs.
-The cats and all other animals. -Yes.
Birds and all living things deserve the same.
Wherever they are, show them love and give them food.
Care for them.
No one notices anymore. Everyone's glued to the screen.
How will you care for them when you're stuck to your phone?
Everyone's gotten so rigid.
Like this.
Don't you have better things to do? How long will you keep at it?
-True. -Yeah, bhidu.
Don't make children laugh while they eat, and keep them away from screens!
The elders believe handing them a screen will make them eat! No way!
Our mothers would sit us down,
serve the food, and we'd eat quietly
so we didn't choke.
If you choke on food while laughing, you're done for!
Things were different when we had our meals sitting on the floor.
Chairs make us enjoy our food less than before.
Everything's falling apart. Back aches, indigestion, popping pills.
What the actual-- You can't sit cross-legged on the floor?!
-No one sits like that anymore! -Yeah.
Amazing, Dada!
On the floor.
Like this…
-Eat like this. Right, bhidu? -Right.
-And like this. -Yes.
-Right? Sit like this, for God's sake! -This is the best.
Eat comfortably.
Love you, Jackie!
-This is really helpful, man! -Of course, Dada.
And when you sit on the floor, legs crossed, to have your meal,
you have to bend, right?
It puts pressure on your stomach, so you can't overeat.
-Yeah. -So they eat less.
Just the right amount.
That's true, Dada. After this dining table culture came along,
-you end up eating… -It messed us up.
without even realizing how much you've had.
Then you can't get up, so you loosen your belt and just sit there.
You don't move for another hour.
-Oh my! Kapil! -Have you noticed?
I have.
When you're hosting, guests tend to linger for hours
-after dinner. -They don't get up.
Next, dessert is served, and they continue eating until they're stuffed.
-I love it. -Yes, Dada?
What Dada just said are very basic things.
Thank you, Dada, for sharing.
-Yeah, friends! -Wow!
Wow!
In the presence of Sidhu sahab and Archana ji,
Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra takes the stage.
The tenth-best orchestra of Jamnapaar, Delhi!
-Tenth-best… -We are here to perform on Netflix!
I'd like to say a few words.
Your love makes an artist glow
-Wow! -Your love makes an artist glow
Eat some gajar ka halwa Now carrots are cheap, you know!
Oh my God!
-Madhuri ji is here. -Hey!
And Jaggu Dada is here.
-Jackie ji. -Brother!
-Oh, brother. -Brother!
It feels so good…
to have you here.
Wow! No, please wear it.
Please keep it, Dada. Oh…
You're fantastic, man!
Thank you, Dada. Won't this tickle me when I move?
It makes you feel great when someone plants a tree.
It makes you really happy.
-Everyone should be. -So, come on.
Let's make Jaggu Dada happy. One second.
Let's plant a tree.
-Oh, wow! He's got it! -He brought plants.
-Oh, wow. -Here you go.
-Wow. -You hang it around your neck,
-and I crown it on my head. -Excellent!
Come on!
Wow.
-Wow! -How do I look?
-Stud! Wow! -Very nice.
Sir, this is…
Diamond Raja.
Call us for weddings and events.
-Diamond Raja for weddings and events. -Wedding events!
-Amazing. -Please let us know
-if any plant or tree is getting hitched. -For sure.
-Sit, please. -No card for him?
-The card bears his address. -Oh…
Raja sahab, why would he get a plant married?
He nurtures the plants like they're his own kids.
Once the plant grows, its wedding becomes the parents' responsibility.
Oh?
How can one tell if it's a male or female?
Just pick up the pot and check, Sidhu sahab.
If I give the two of youse…
-"Youse?" -What's "youse"?
-He's right. That's my lingo. -Apologies if I misspoke.
-Say what you want. -What is "youse"?
"I" means "me".
-"Youse" means "him." -"Youse" means "you."
Really?
"Youse" means "him." I was--
-Right. -He's a rookie in Mumbai.
They don't know.
When I was new in Mumbai,
I was traveling by train.
Oh.
I brushed past a lady, and she snapped, "Look straight!"
-Look straight! -So, I started looking straight at her.
-Then? -Then another lady came,
I brushed past her, and she said, "Look straight!"
I said, "Ma'am, right now I'm looking straight at her."
By the time I reached Charni Road station, I'd looked straight at 17 or 18 women.
Language in Mumbai has its own twist.
I wasn't familiar with it at the time.
These days, I'm fluent in it.
Dada, he's new in Mumbai.
He knows nothing about Mumbai.
He used to bathe donkeys back in Afghanistan.
-Madhuri ji. -Yes?
-It's so good to see you. -Thank you.
You know, I didn't become a doctor because of you.
-I quit medical school. -What…
-I was enrolled in one. -Why did you quit?
Because you had only one spot for a doctor,
and that got filled. So, it was pointless.
I want to share a verse praising your beauty.
I roamed the world to find beauty true
Then it ended the moment I saw you
Wow!
-Do you know what I just felt? -Yes?
-Diamond Raja is done! -Killed it!
Diamond Raja.
-By the way, Madhuri ji… -Yes?
If you don't mind me asking, what time does your husband
-wake up in the morning? -What?
-Why? What does it matter? -Just asking.
-Around 6:30 a.m. -Okay, 6:30 a.m.
I wake up ten minutes earlier than that.
Why?
Habit. Routine.
How much time does he spend working out?
An hour.
-I go ten minutes longer. -Ten minutes.
What time does he go to bed at night?
Around 10:00 or 10:30 p.m.
I hit the bed ten minutes earlier.
-Oh… -All the ten-minute extras he squeezes in
get counted by his wife, and she makes him pay for them by the day's end!
I see!
No, I save ten minutes here and there
just to watch Channe Ke Khet Mein.
I see.
-That's not the step. It goes like this. -Yes.
No, I drink a little as I watch Channe Ke Khet Mein. So…
And eat channa.
-Oh, man. -Gosh!
What a huge dumbbell!
Wow.
Can you guess which song of yours this is?
This one?
-Which one? -Dola Re Dola.
Madhuri ji, all that is fine, but…
I saw one of your movies.
The violent scenes in it were too much for me.
You should've gone with a body double.
I didn't like the violent scene with Salman ji.
-Which one? -I didn't like it at all.
Look, my bumps got goose.
-Bumps got goose? -Look at this.
My bumps got goose.
-Which scene are you talking about? -The one where…
flicks a flower at her using a slingshot.
-Violence? -That flower. Man!
-Violence! -It didn't hit her waist.
It hit me right here in my heart.
That was so violent!
In "Didi Tera Devar Deewana"?
-That's the one. I didn't like it. -You didn't?
Not at all. Why be so violent with a beautiful lady?
I say, Jackie Dada, let's settle one thing today.
Okay? If you don't mind, may I make a call?
Go on.
Who is he calling?
Namaskar. Adab. Sat Sri Akal.
-Kem cho? Kedo haal? -Oh my God!
Hello, Jaggu Dada and Madhuri ji.
Yeah, alright. Just tell us,
why were you violent with her? Why did you hit her with a flower?
What's with didi's devar being so deewana?
I did not like it.
Well, actually…
the director asked me to.
Really? Since when did you, Salman, start listening to the director?
"Director told me to."
Look me in the eye when you speak.
-Why did you do that? -Oh, man.
-That was unacceptable. I didn't like it. -I didn't know.
I didn't know
this would reach you.
Of course, it reached me. You really shouldn't have done that.
I won't repeat it.
Sure, you won't do it again, but why do it at all?
I didn't like the way you treated her.
Now-- No, no! Stop that!
Now don't cry!
Okay? Don't sulk now. Listen to me.
I said what I had to.
I didn't mean to be harsh. Just don't do it again. Okay?
Yeah. It should never happen again.
It's really not nice.
-Alright? -Wow.
Don't be disheartened. Okay?
It's sorted now.
Well done!
-Don't allow people to say just anything. -Yes.
He stood up for you. Crushed him.
-Absolutely. -You should always settle it.
If you ever face any trouble, just let me know.
Jaggu Dada, I appreciate you a lot.
-What? -Your "father-son" relationship
is full of respect and regard.
I really like that.
-All parents have that. -No, not with me.
Lately, my father has embraced this misleading notion
that fathers and sons are more like friends.
Misleading notion! I love it!
A father is a father, and a son is a son.
They can't be friends. My father wants to be my friend.
-What's wrong with that? -The other day, he was having a drink.
He said, "Let's have a 30-30 drink."
I said no.
He said, "Come on, let's go 30-30. We're friends."
I said, "No, Dad. Let it be."
He said, "Come on, 30-30." I said, "No. I don't want to."
He asked, "Are we not friends?" I said, "Not 30-30. Let's do 90-90."
I said, "Pour two 90 ml drinks, Damodar."
-Damodar! -Really?
-You called him by his name? -He didn't like that.
Then I got a 60-60 across both cheeks!
How can I be friends with my father if I can't call him by his name?
Of course.
Why push it? I refused from the very beginning.
-Madhuri ji, I… -Yes?
I've had a song stuck in my head.
With your help, the song will get even better.
-Really? -Yes.
-Which song? -I mean, if you can
-sneeze on the beat, it can get sicker. -I see!
-Sneeze on the beat! Okay. -Exactly.
The way you coughed in that film…
If you could do the same for the song, that would be wonderful.
-Really? -If you don't mind.
-Let's do it. -Guys, are you okay?
A big round of applause for Madhuri ji, friends!
Friends, we have Madhuri ji with us,
and the song is called "Uhu-Uhu."
One, two.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Let's go somewhere
Somewhere far
Not near
It will be fun!
We'll go to the beach
Bask in the sunshine
Get a nice tan
Put on sunscreen
Rock those sunglasses
It will be fun!
Nice!
We'll go to the hills
It will be nice and cold
Get a bonfire going
Warm our hands
Snuggle up
It will be fun!
Now, a few lines for Jackie Dada.
Jackie Dada, you say…
-"Yeah, bhidu." -Yeah, bhidu.
Let's hear it for Jackie Dada!
-Wherever we go -Yeah, bhidu!
-We plant trees -Yeah, bhidu!
-Water them -Yeah, bhidu!
-Fertilize them fine -Yes, bro
-Oxygen levels rise -Yeah, bhidu!
-It will be fun! -Yeah, bhidu!
Thank you, friends! Thank you, Dada!
Thank you, Madhuri ji!
-Thank you. Yeah, friends! -Lovely!
Thank you so much!
Lovely!
Ma'am, Dada, we have a few pictures of you we'd like to show you.
People make such great comments. Show us.
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING
The first photo is of Madhuri ji.
"Can't think of a better welcome to Mumbai than vada pav."
Tim Cook. Apple.
Let's look at the comments.
"Tim Cook, cook, cook, cook…"
-Very nice. Show us more. -Cook, cook, cook…
That was very nice.
-Oh my God! -Superb.
"I have heard that Tim sells apples."
"I sell oranges in Nagpur."
"Can I also have dinner with you?"
-Next. -Good one.
"He wasn't half this happy when he became Apple's CEO as he is now,
having vada pav with Madhuri ji."
That's correct!
Show us more.
"Ma'am, no matter how much you feed him, Apple still won't give a discount."
Next.
"He won't skip chutney on his vada pav, but he'll skip the charger in the box!"
You should've asked him about that.
Show us more.
Oh, it's Dada's photo!
"Happy Father's Day to the most loving and best dad."
Show us the comments.
"That's what happens when you sit on a hot rock."
Nice one, bhidu!
Next.
"Dada came to this field hoping to catch a glimpse of Madhuri ji."
Show us more.
"Looks like Jaggu Dada found the buried treasure."
Found the soil. Right.
Someone has replied, "He went to plant trees, but struck oil instead."
Nice one, man!
Next.
"So much to talk about, right?"
Show the comments.
"They were right."
"Doctors and engineers really do steal your high school sweetheart."
Wow!
Bitter truth.
Next.
"Madhuri ji, both of them are here partying with you,
but somewhere Rakhi ji is wondering where her Karan and Arjun are."
Next.
"Can't believe mango season is nearly done."
"Will wait for next year."
-Oh, you love mangoes just like I do! -I love mangoes! Oh my God!
Show the comments.
"She sticks to mangoes, because she knows an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
-Amazing! Oh, man! -That was a good one!
That was indirect!
Next.
"Now that Madhuri ji has hugged them, they're no longer aam. They are khaas."
-How do they come up with these?! -Oh my God!
-Show us more. -So creative!
That's your pet, right? I have seen other photos of it.
-He's so cute. -Show us the comments.
"There's a new shaman in town with a parrot that reads tarot cards."
Praise the Lord!
Next.
"Jaggu Dada, you're so innocent."
"Someone gave you a fake parrot. Real parrots are green."
Is this parrot from India or from abroad?
-African. -I don't know.
Someone gave it to me, and I kept it.
African grey.
-This is the first time I've seen one. -It's an African grey.
-African? -They're called Kasuku.
-"Sukku"? -Yes.
-Kasuku. -"Tusuku"?
-Kasuku. -It's called a parrot!
Yes.
Next comment.
"Parrots are usually green. What kind of parrot is this?"
Someone replied, "Kuch Kuch Tota Hai. You won't get it."
They are so creative! "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai."
Classic!
Jaggu Dada is very fit himself, and Tiger is just as fit.
The parrot you just saw also does yoga.
Let me show you a video. Play it.
Learn to balance, bhidu.
-He is doing Tadasana. -See if you can balance on one leg.
-Yes. -Yeah.
-He said yes. -He said yes!
-Good show. -Good show.
So cute!
How cute is that!
-He was standing on one leg. -One leg!
I told my friend to learn something from him. He said, "Yes."
He asked, "Like this?" He said, "Yes. Good show."
-Wow. -Wow.
Dada, we know that you love animals and birds very much.
We have heard that you were once gifted an egg.
-Right, I-- -You got it hatched, and kept the bird.
Yes.
I went to Kashmir to shoot for Singham.
My driver gave me some eggs his mother had sent.
Kashmiri eggs. Local eggs.
I brought them here, and my hen had just laid eggs.
I put her eggs aside for a bit, and kept these ones with her.
She sat on them, and the Kashmiri chicks hatched.
So now, I have Kashmiri chickens.
Someone gave me eggs in Jaipur, and I got those hatched too
-Wow. -Wow.
Wherever I go, people give me eggs. I pass them to my hen, and they hatch.
Doesn't your hen complain about having to hatch all these eggs?
She is very sweet. There are many.
I have other hens too.
You keep one rooster and many hens.
You make them put in so much effort!
Well, he does all the work himself.
No idea how he pulls it off!
Friends, we got to see a movie in this life
that made history. Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!
Incredible!
It was a super entertaining film.
-You also helped so many people, you know? -How?
-You wore a purple sari in that movie. -Yes.
-Helped? -That sari became so popular!
The girls who'd waited ten years to marry
wore the sari, and it made a difference!
Even today, that sari…
-Even now, whenever I go to weddings… -The trend continues.
-I see some women in that purple sari. -True.
-To this day. -Or…
-the green ghagra choli I wore in it. -Yes.
Or that red dress.
Ma'am, when you've performed any of your dance routines,
was there any song where you felt
that it had a really heavy costume.
-You know, when she'd twirl-- -Devdas!
-Devdas. -In Devdas?
-She'd just twirl around like that-- -"Kaahe Chhed Mohe."
-Yes.
She'd stop, yet the outfit would still whirl around her.
-Yes! -Yes.
And the dupatta, covered in those ornaments--
-Those round bead-like things. -Yeah.
They were so heavy!
They must be hitting your face!
-With every turn-- -Yes! Hit my face!
-Shah Rukh was-- -And Shah Rukh Khan's!
-Shah Rukh got hurt too! -Because I--
-I was supposed to do this to him. -Smacked him!
-Smacked! -So…
I did that once, and it smacked his face!
A solid smack!
-Oh, God! Yeah! -The expressions were spot on!
His expression was perfect.
The second time, I did it very slowly.
-I was scared. What if it hit-- -Hit hard.
Then Shah Rukh was like,
"Madhuri, just go for it. One shot, or I'll have to get hit again!"
Jackie, Madhuri, you two have worked with almost everyone in the industry.
Who was the biggest flirt on set?
Why are you looking at me?
I wasn't looking at you, I just wanted to ask you.
I was like, "Why is she looking at me?"
Madhuri ji is thinking, "Was there anyone who didn't flirt?"
I love it!
True story, bhidu!
You're right, Kapil.
The biggest flirt I've seen in the last 25 years is Kapil.
-Absolutely true! -When I love, I express it, Dada!
-What else can I say? -Absolutely true!
Say it when you get a chance.
You can't go home regretting that you didn't dedicate a couplet to Madhuri.
-Oh, boy! -Just let it out!
You know what that means? It stung him a little!
It did!
It was a sweet little sting!
Dada, we're discussing films from the 90s, and your films specifically.
We'd like to ask our audience,
what is it that you miss in today's films?
What kind of movies do you want to watch?
Hello!
-Hello, Kapil ji. -Hello.
-Hi Madhuri ma'am. -Hi.
Hi, Jackie sir.
My name is Chandni.
-Chandni? -Yes.
You are so soft-spoken.
That's why your voice flows like nectar.
-Wow! -"Hello, hi."
I have come from Morocco.
Casablanca.
-We're all-- -Hello. All of you are from Casablanca?
Yes. We're all from Casablanca.
Are you here by choice, or did the flight just happen to land here?
-We're here for your show. -How sweet of you!
Welcome, welcome!
-How nice! -They say laughter is the best medicine.
-Thank you. -For us, you are the doctor.
-Because you make us laugh. -Nice.
-Thank you. -And…
My name is Aarti.
Hello, ma'am.
-I have a question for you, Kapil ji. -Yes, ma'am.
You make everyone laugh.
But when you get home, are you the same,
or do you get quiet like my husband?
After how many years did your husband go quiet?
We've been married for 46 years.
When was the last time he spoke? Do you remember?
Tell us the truth.
-How are you at home? -Just like all husbands!
-"Yes, madam. Yes, madam." -Just breathing at our own will.
We have our meal and come to work.
Just breathing, like a scaredy cat.
When I get home, my wife-- So, when you get home
after working all day long,
you just crash for a bit, thinking you'll freshen up and eat in a while.
Ginni says,
"You keep yapping away on TV. Where does it all disappear at home?"
-The tale of every household. -"What happens to you at home?"
Dada, what can I do? Husbands are always like that at home.
Be it Morocco, Casablanca, or Andheri West.
-Andheri West. -A husband is a husband everywhere.
Hello, sir.
Isn't that your husband?
No, no.
He's a relative.
Is your wife here too?
-Over there. -That's your wife?
Do you really sit that far apart after 30 to 40 years of marriage?
Nice one!
It was lovely meeting you all.
-You're here specially for the show. -Thank you.
-Thank you so much. Thank you. -Thank you.
Anybody else has any questions? Yes, ma'am?
My name is Pushti.
-Pushti? -Yes.
So, today's movies…
Movies in the Gen Z era aren't as fun.
People used to get completely involved in movies back in the day.
And my first movie was Madhuri ji's Hum Aapke Hain Koun..!
-Wow! -With my mom and dad.
After watching that movie, Mom would dress me up like Madhuri ji.
She'd even style my hair like Madhuri ma'am.
My mom always dressed me up like that.
-Is your mom here today? -Yes, she's here.
-Hello, ma'am. -Hello.
What a young mom you have! Hello.
How does it feel to meet Madhuri ji in person after seeing her in films?
I still can't believe it, sir.
I have been waiting to see Madhuri ji since I was ten--
What are you waiting for? Jump in and give her a hug!
I'm lost for words, ma'am.
Thank you. She deserves a hug.
-So sweet of you! -I have watched your film
-Hum Aapke Hain Koun..! -About 35 to 40 times?
-I've watched it 50 times! -Fifty times!
Ma'am, I love you!
-Thank you. Thank you. -It's a lovely film. Always fun to watch.
Pushti, please come up on stage with your mom.
You wanted to meet Madhuri ji. Please come.
This is your gift, and along with that, we have another gift for you.
Congratulations to you.
Congratulations! Goibibo is gifting you and your family a wonderful trip to Dubai.
Watch The Great Indian Kapil Show together. See the world together.
Now you may go and get your hug. Please.
Here you go, Pushti. Congratulations.
Thank you, Pushti's mommy. Thank you.
Oh, man!
-Jaggu! -Good one!
Jaggu Dada!
I've been blessed, bhidu.
Go for it!
It's not a blessing from the heavens, but from down here, bhidu!
I don't understand.
Do I go right…
-Or left! -Or left!
left…
or straight to your feet?
This man's personality is such that he looks like Tiger's brother.
Boy, oh, boy! How are you all, my bhidus?
He's too good.
There's about 800 crore people in the whole world.
There's about 1200 crore trees.
There's about 3000 crore animals.
Among all of them,
there's only one person in the world who can mimic Jaggu Dada.
Yes.
-Dada… -Right on the mark, man!
-Love you. -Love you.
Here's the key to my Lokhandwala flat.
Why did you give it to him?
I mimicked him so much, I managed to afford the flat.
Too good!
I was able to afford the flat because of you.
-Too good! -I'm here to hand you your cut.
-Wow! -I gave one flat to Mithun Da as well.
-I gave one to Jeetu ji as well, bhidu. -Yeah.
Didn't you give anything to Govinda ji?
If I have to give him anything, I'll be completely broke! Everything will be gone!
Dada, please sit.
-Love you. -Love you too much.
That was super sophisticated.
-Now I'll just get back to business. -Right away, man.
My boy! My child!
Bhidu, love you.
Oh God!
-Love you, love you, love you! -Spot on, man!
-Love you! Love you! -Dada!
How many times will you say "love you"?
Until a certain lady says "love you too" to me!
-I'll keep going! -Oh my!
-I'll keep saying love you, love you-- -Love you too, Dada! Love you too!
I said "a certain lady."
I didn't say "just any lady."
Bhidu, the lady I'm referring to…
is wearing a black and green dress…
-I see! -with red flowers on it!
What can I say…
You said doing this aids digestion.
You should do this.
-Oh my! -This helps scratch the itch on your back.
I…
-Good one. -What can I say, Madhuri ji?
-Tell me. -My heart has only one voice.
I'd like to make everyone hear it.
Oh gosh.
-Madhuri ji… -He has heart problems.
People fast on Mondays.
But in anticipation of meeting you, I haven't eaten a thing all week!
I haven't eaten a thing. I'm so hungover!
You only drank!
-Dada… -Yeah?
-How are you hungover if you didn't eat? -I didn't eat, but I drank.
All I did was drink.
Devdas!
But now that I saw you,
I will break my fast.
-What's that? -Now I'm motivated to drink some more.
Oh!
I'll just have some munchies.
Dada, be careful. The original one's right here.
He's the one who called me last night and told me what to say to her.
He said, "There are some things I can't say to her directly."
He has given me permission.
Sometimes, he makes me say what he actually wants to say.
Well, I don't talk without reason, bhidu.
Madhuri ji…
-I have something for you. -I see.
Bring it, bhidu.
What's that?
Yeah, thank you.
-What's this, Dada? -Wait a minute.
-Madhuri ji. -Yes?
-Wait a minute. This… -Okay.
-Oh my! All this-- Oh! Thank you. -This as well. Two.
-Two? -Two?
-What's going on? -Two of these as well.
Two of these as well. Why two of everything?
And… two of these as well.
Why are you giving her all that?
She always keeps saying, "Do la re, do la re, do la re, do la."
"Do la re…"
That's some effort, Dada!
-What can I say-- -Spent 5,000 just for that one punch!
Forget about me. Sunil makes you spend lakhs. What do you say to that?
Yeah!
-Dada… -Bhidu.
We have two Dadas here for now,
but soon we'll have two Madhuris here as well.
Look, I have Dada's permission.
Now she wants your permission
-so she can mimic you. -Alright.
I'd like to call her here. Madhuri ji!
-Lovely! -Wow!
-Wow!
Oh God!
I wonder who set this mirror up in front of me!
Oh my God! Wow!
Very nice!
I might end up giving myself the evil eye.
Nice one!
-Oh my goodness! -What…
Dada really appreciates me.
I've got a good personality as well, but I never pulled out the mirror line.
So, how dare you…
use that line!
Wait a minute. May I sit here?
Come here. Why did you move there?
-Come here-- -No, there's no space.
Oh my…
It's okay. Come on here.
-Believe me, I'm a huge fan of yours. -Yes.
I've learned counting only from one, two, three…
up to twelve and thirteen.
I didn't think it was necessary to go beyond that.
You know, when I step out of the house on Holi,
and someone tries to throw color on me,
I just tell them, "If you want to put color on me,
-make sure it's just green." -Oh my!
You won't believe how much I have started resembling you now!
-No. -You won't believe,
-I went to a party. -Yes?
In all the ghai, Subhash Ghai ended up signing me!
-Yeah, I'm not kidding. -Really?
I swear!
I don't know about your permission, but you might get his cancelled as well.
Hey, don't say that!
Don't say so!
-Don't lower my Madhuri's morale, Kapil. -Yes.
What does she even lack?
Look at her beauty!
Yes.
Well, forget beauty.
Look at her grace!
Okay, never mind the grace!
Look at her dance!
Well, forget the dance as well. Just look at her condition!
She…
See her helplessness!
Take a look at her installments!
-Madhuri ji… -Yes?
he's also a father of two kids.
It's my humble request,
please accept her as Madhuri.
-Alright. -Look,
I don't think you shall be able to convince her.
-"Shall be able…" -Please come here.
Come here.
Speak up.
Tell me. I'll hear you out from here.
Could you sit properly and listen?
I feel only he can convince her.
So, shall I persuade him first?
-Yes! -Exactly!
Come to the "K" for khopcha! Come here!
-Come here! -"K" for khopcha!
-Oh my God, Krushna! -Come here!
What are you even doing?
Do you want Jaggu Dada's permission or Madhuri ji's permission?
-I just-- -He's my master!
You talk to your madam!
Alright, that works too, Dada.
Madhuri ji…
Please grant me an "all-India permit" to act like you as well.
Are you dressed as Madhuri ji, or like a truck driver
looking for an "all-India permit"?
Oh, man!
Oh God!
You won't get a permit that easily.
You'll have to prove yourself first.
-Right now? Here? -Yeah, where else? Come on, get over here!
Come on, let's get back to the program and move things along. Welcome everyone!
-Alright. -Prove yourself.
A warm welcome to everyone in this "M" for mehfil.
Wow!
Whether it's Archana ji from maa or Sidhu ji from maa--
-Hey! -Sidhu ji from maa?
How can Archana ji and Sidhu ji both be from maa?
Because in this world, we all come from maa! Tell me, who's ever come from baap?
Wow! Amazing!
-Superb! -Who says…
Bhidu, who says a father can't do that?
If the mother is the shadow of the tree,
then the father is the tree itself, bhidu!
Wow!
That's why…
plant trees and shrubs! Put saplings all around.
What's the message?
-Plant trees! -Yes!
Get it, idiot?
-Hey, who are you calling an idiot?! -Hey!
How dare you call me an idiot?!
Remember, you're just a duplicate!
There's only one original in this world, and he's right here!
Yes!
I've come as Madhuri today, so a touch of sophistication is in order!
Sorry, sorry!
-Sorry. -Otherwise, I am Munni from Nalasopara!
-Wanna see what I can do? -Oh my…
-I know. -Wanna see?!
I get it!
I just didn't know you were packing this much on the inside!
Inhale. Take a deep breath in.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale. That's it.
-Maintain shanti, bhidu. -Who's Shanti?
Madhuri ji.
If you teach her some grace,
maybe this poor soul will find her footing alone.
The kinds of things she does when she goes on shows…
It's my humble request. Please show her a little guidance.
-Please, Madhuri ji. -Please come.
This one's also a father of two.
That's done already.
Don't repeat the same information over and over!
Yeah, okay.
-She totally bungles the "ish" part. -Oh!
-One "ish…" -If you could show it…
Oh my!
Who draped me in this cloak of green?
-Killed me… -"Ish!"
Amazing, bhidu!
-Please show it once more. -Look…
-Watch closely. -Once more. Yes, I will.
Ish!
Wow!
-Let me try now. -Yes.
Ish!
What was that?
-What did you do? -Not good?
-Seems like Krrish is doing it! -Seems like--
Seems like she has a headache, right?
If you could just say a romantic dialogue…
If you could teach it to me-- Just a minute.
-Wait. Allow me. -Imagine this-- Yes.
You say it to me.
-I'll watch. -I'll teach her myself.
You spoke with your gaze
And stole my heart
I thought you were emotionless
But you made me hear your heart's rhythm
Wow! He's fallen down!
-He fell! -Look at his reaction!
Pack up! Shut it!
-It's my turn. Wait! -The end!
-I'll do it now! It's my turn! -The end! Enough!
-No way, bhidu! That's it. -Dada!
-Dada, I-- -I am done.
-At least listen to my dialogue. -I am done. The show should end here.
But…
-Pack up! -My dialogue…
I'll enact the same thing.
I'll enact it.
Who eats a vada pav after indulging in jalebi and rabdi?!
-To hell with it! -Dada, listen to me!
-I'm leaving, bhidu! -Wait!
-But… -That's it!
Once again, a huge round of applause for Jaggu Dada and Madhuri ji.
Please come, ma'am.
Madhuri ma'am. Jaggu Dada.
You made this evening so lovely. So memorable!
-Absolutely! -Your films live rent-free in our heads,
and this evening will be remembered for years, Dada.
Love you, Dada.
Thank you so much.
-Thank you, Madhuri ma'am. -Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am.
Friends, our evening today
with Madhuri ji and Jaggu Dada was just lovely.
We will meet again next week with some new guests.
Until then, keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
Every Funnyday for a fresh dose of fun, only on Netflix.
Good night. Take care. Thank you.
Wow! Amazing!
Please welcome the esteemed teachers, Nitin Vijay Sir,
Khan Sir, and Alakh Pandey ji!
These three gurus have made learning so easy and entertaining!
All you need is the internet and some focus.
Kids must decide if they want to watch the "Kacha Badam" video,
or grow up educated and earn their own almonds!
Someone once offered you 107 crore rupees,
but you turned it down. Why?
The one who was offering me 107 crore rupees is no more--
I mean, his company collapsed!
We heard that even Alakh Sir got a blank check from someone!
The same person who offered him money came to me with an offer as well!
That's Rohit. He's a street-side phone cover seller.
He cleared NEET and is on his way to becoming a doctor.
Wow!
Who are you, bhaisahab?
Call me the Salman Khan of scientists!
I'm in the syllabus, but I'm beyond anyone's understanding!
Are you familiar with physics at all?
Yes. Force equals mass multiplied by acceleration.
Oh, wow!
I watched the practical demonstration, so I remember it.
But the force will be bigger here.
No, it's the mass that's bigger here.
Happy Holi!
It is Holi!
Happy Holi!