Thank you!
Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show.
-Kapil! Kapil! Kapil! -Thank you, thank you. Please.
Kapil! Kapil!
-Sidhu paaji! -Yes?
We've reached the last episode of the season.
You know, Archana ji, I get quite emotional at times like this.
And then these scary thoughts cross my mind.
"From now on, Archana ji will once again have to struggle to earn a living."
-Sidhu paaji. -Yes?
Bet you didn't realize the season was over,
since your eyes were glued to these four.
Lilly, Billy, Silly, Chilly.
I'm sure we'll share great chemistry as a team.
I'm making another film, Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon 3.
Yes.
All four of you will be my heroines.
-Really? -Understand?
It's a romcom, no language divide. Just pure love, far and wide.
Got it?
This is what I love about these foreign girls.
They catch the important things, even if it's in another language.
Girls, please go backstage and take care of the guest who's coming now.
Okay? Guys, keep missing me.
-Okay, bye. -Buh-bye
Our guest today will bring something truly special to this finale,
though calling him a guest doesn't quite fit.
I feel he's as much a part of this show
-as we are. -That's true!
I'd like to say one thing about him.
If you search for the word "khiladi" on Google…
the names Dhoni and Virat Kohli won't appear.
Instead, it's his name that will appear.
Please welcome the superstar, Mr. Akshay Kumar!
Don't tire yourself out, sit down!
Who are you, bhaisahab?
I always show up on screen before any movie starts.
-Right. -But today,
I've appeared before our show could begin.
Nandu!
What are you doing outside the duty-free area?
My wife is in there.
What's wrong with her?
Oh, the same old women's issue.
What do you mean?
-Shopping. -Oh!
Now she'll walk out with bags, and I'll be the one carrying them.
-I've got to pee before she arrives. -Listen!
Peeing doesn't make you a hero.
Carrying your wife's shopping bags does.
Come on, paaji.
Sometimes you tell me not to smoke.
Now you're telling me I can't pee.
I could develop kidney stones!
And thanks to you, I ended up burning my tongue!
Burned your tongue? What are you talking about?
Well, you said, "Blowing smoke doesn’t make you a hero,"
so I drank my tea without blowing on it first.
I burned both my tongue and my lips.
You need not take every instruction literally!
Get it?
Use a little common sense as well!
Do you understand? Now listen!
Sometimes you should act like a hero,
but other times it's better not to. Got it?
-How so? -Imagine there's a cake in front of you.
A birthday cake.
There's a lit candle on the cake. You should blow that out!
-Now that makes you a hero. Okay? -Yes.
Hi, Rupa. Did you take a bath?
But…
But if you're at a candlelight dinner,
don't blow out the candle. Understand?
Paaji, you've confused me.
Should I act like a hero or not?
Well, I have an issue with this entire premise.
-I see. -You see, heroes don't fall, they fail.
Heroines fall.
Bhaisahab! Who are you guys?
The real Akshay Kumar is waiting backstage.
We'll have to keep the performance going until he comes!
We've come all the way here from our homes!
-Come on, Nandu. -You guys are messing around!
Hop on. Let me explain
-everything about being a hero. -Let's go, paaji.
Bullying isn't about bulls, so girls can be bullies too.
Understood?
Friends, it's time to welcome the real superstar onto the stage.
A superstar who had no connections in the film industry
and no godfather backing him.
He achieved this remarkable success entirely on his own
and emerged as a quintessential figure in cinema.
Now, he shows up on screen even before the movie starts
and before the censor certificate rolls in, like you just saw.
Let's call him to the stage with a thunderous round of applause.
Please welcome Mr. Akshay Kumar!
Wow!
"We hate Kapil."
Check out what the girls think about you.
All of them have good things to say. They are on our show--
Look right where your gaze usually lands!
-What… -There!
This is all your doing!
Is that so?
Girls, do you really hate me?
No!
Girls, can you turn around, please?
Remember, I'm the one paying you for this gig.
Do you understand Hindi?
-Yes. -You understand Hindi?
-Yes. -Give her a mic.
Here.
What's your name?
-Namaste. -Do you really hate me?
-Namaste. -Namaste.
-Bless me. -How are you?
-Oh, wow! -Which country?
-Ukraine. -Ukraine.
All girls are tall.
Yes.
It's as if they just keep getting taller.
Do you really hate me?
Earlier, it read, "We love you."
"We love you."
-It read, "We love you." -There is love.
-We love you. -Where did that other "love" sign go?
-Yes. -Sure. That was before.
Now they hate you.
Speak to him in Marathi.
How are you?
So…
are they real foreigners, or did you just paint them up?
Well done!
-Well done, ladies! -Well done, girls!
-Thank you so much. -Clap it up!
Thank you.
Paaji, I thought
I always make my stage entry flanked by four girls.
You entered with ten foreign girls, it looked like an extravagant buffet!
Well, you always enter with four continental dishes.
-What are their names? Chilly, Billy… -Lilly…
-Billy, Silly, Chilly. -Chilly, Billy, Silly.
-Did you see the girls by my side? Eena! -Yeah.
-Meena! Deeka! -Meena! Deeka!
-Chika! -Chika!
Pika! Rola! Rika!
Rum! Pum! Po! What do you have to say?
Why so many girls? Are you starring in Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon?
After 15 years of struggle, this man finally gets a break
with just one film offer.
And believe me, he just won't stop bragging about that one film!
I'm over that already!
You're usually so punctual.
We're in the third season of the show, and this is the final episode.
What held you up this time?
I didn't get paid.
This is the third season.
-Everyone has been waiting-- -You know what,
I didn't even realize when three seasons flew by.
First of all, he works at a rapid pace.
In only a year and a half, he wrapped up three seasons.
Earlier, he even had two kids in that same span of time.
That was the gap between the two kids.
-What? -There was an interval
-of a year and a half. -Two kids in that timeframe?
He ought to be in the Guinness Book!
Well, it's all because of Ginni's book!
First, he'd do--
You know, earlier he used to do 80 shows.
Well, it may not be an issue for him, but Archana ji,
earlier with 80 shows, your paycheck was pretty solid.
Don't you think it’s dipped a little?
When it comes to remuneration, Netflix has been very generous.
That's good to know.
Good.
But her expenses are barely anything.
Just four family members and seven or eight maids in the house.
Those are maids?
So, Parmeet ji was caught with a maid?
Really?
No. Let me tell you…
Parmeet has never been caught.
-Never been caught? -Never.
Making jokes like these is fine.
That's the format of our show.
I'd like to say something with all sincerity, paaji.
Being Akshay Kumar is no easy feat.
Over a career spanning 35 years, he has acted in more than 150 movies.
We've got this data from Google.
You know, Google's office opens at 7:00 a.m.!
He wakes up at 4:00 a.m.
As for the films he shot from 4:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.,
that information is still unavailable.
So…
He plays all kinds of roles.
He acts in romantic and comedy films,
as well as action and motivational movies.
Are you really that talented, or are your needs just too many?
Why don't you tell everyone a bit about yourself too?
-Me… -He has done
three seasons of this show on Netflix.
Before that, he was on Sony.
-He dominated Sony. -Before that, he was on Colors.
-He ruled Colors. -Now he's doing two films.
Simultaneously, he also launched his restaurant.
Yes!
His restaurant was shot at recently, clear proof it's raking in cash!
Now you tell me, are you talented or just full of needs?
Answer me!
Come on, tell us.
Well, people love me.
They hold me to high standards, and I do my best to live up to them.
But you still didn't tell me,
are you talented or just full of needs?
I'll say the same thing. People love me
and I make every effort to live up to their expectations.
-Okay. That's nice. -That's how it is.
He's outstanding in action films. No one does it better.
Is there some kind of class you can sign up for in romance?
I wanted to know from you. Is there actually a course for that,
or does it all come from personal experience?
Listen.
There's a course for romance,
but personal experience comes in handy as well.
And the teacher for all this… is the wife.
Yes!
Your own wife is your teacher.
Your wife!
Looking at another man's wife is a bad habit.
That won't teach you a thing.
-It's only your wife you learn from. -Right.
Alright? Those who agree with me, please nod.
Yes?
Nobody here is as innocent as they look.
Akshay paaji really loves action and stunts.
He manages small stunts even during romantic scenes.
He whirls his female co-stars around with so much energy!
When he sets her down, she wobbles for a solid ten seconds.
It takes her ten seconds to regain her balance.
You are a fit man who comes prepared.
Your female co-star never sees your next move coming.
I make sure to get their consent and inform them before I lift them.
I never do it without permission.
You know, you can't just lift anybody up and start doing it.
Have you ever tried it?
During Kis Kisko Pyaar Karoon, Abbas-Mustan sahab told me
the girl would be dancing, and I only needed to walk.
So, I walked like this.
So, you just walked.
Remember that song he did?
-It was filmed in a graveyard. -Yes.
Do you remember?
You know why a graveyard? Because his dancing is totally dead.
Since his dancing is dead,
they asked him to walk, and the scene was shot in a graveyard.
-His dead dancing-- -He's walking away!
-Kapil! -Hey!
Hey!
He's the only comedian who can raise a riot in a graveyard.
Clap it up!
Heard that?
-I mean… -Say it in Hindi, and say it clearly.
-It means… -Kapil! Kapil!
Kapil! Kapil!
Kapil! Kapil! Kapil!
-Listen! -Hold on.
Listen here.
It means you're the only comedian who can bring the dead to life. Clap it up!
Well, alright!
-Let's do some action. -Let me just--
-Right? -Wait a minute. Let him speak.
-Hey, man! -It's his turn to speak.
Let me balance it. I'm done praising you.
-This might've upset the guest-- -No, that's not a problem.
Praise him all you want, I just want the money.
-That's fine. -No, no!
Look at her!
Listen up.
Some call him a superhero
Some call him a blockbuster pro
Some hail his comic flair Some cheer his stunts in the air
Wow!
If one word could define a hero A word that screams "superstar"
It's none other than Akshay Kumar
Well said!
-Wow! -Akshay! Akshay!
Akshay! Akshay! Akshay!
Now listen.
One thing is for sure.
He does romance, action, and dance on screen.
He's simply following the script. You have to do it.
You get paid for it.
But you do stunts like setting your pants on fire at live events.
What made you do that?
It's my pants, my choice! I can do anything I like!
Do I question you?
I will treat my body the way I like!
He's even jealous about that.
I'm not jealous. I'm…
I'm just worried about your safety.
-Worried about what? -You set your pants on fire.
What if the flames shoot up and…
So what?
I enjoy feeling warm.
It's not just you, buddy!
This is the real Akshay Kumar.
His comedy is so natural
that watching him on the big screen feels like he's one of us.
Paaji is effortlessly natural. Let's give a round of applause for this quality.
The lines he improvises often become popular.
Paaji, I'm curious.
I've seen many directors tell actors,
while performing comedy, to express themselves unabashedly.
"Be unabashed, just like Akshay Kumar."
-Right? -Yes.
Were you asked to follow someone as well?
Or maybe you did a special exercise?
Recently, there's been a trend
where actors try to speak in a deep voice.
Speaking of voices, let me share a story.
Paaji, when I was a newcomer--
Well, even today, my voice is thin and raspy.
I don't have a deep voice like Amitabh Bachchan sahab,
or even Amrish Puri sahab, for that matter.
So, I was asked to work on my voice
to make it deeper.
I asked them what I could do.
They recommended a teacher to train me,
charging 20,000 rupees a month.
Back then, 20,000 rupees was quite a lot.
So, I signed up for voice training.
At the break of dawn, I'd go…
I trained my voice extensively. It was all good.
Then they'd hand me an earthen pot,
and I'd put my head inside and start…
Then there was a conch. And I'd--
I felt really odd, and it left me puzzled.
This went on for six months…
but my voice remained the same.
Nothing changed.
Then I realized that we are fine…
Just the way we are.
We're fine as we are.
That's right. Also…
let me tell you one more thing.
Early in my career, they told me that
my gums showed whenever I laughed.
I still remember going to my mom and telling her
that my gums showed when I laughed.
"Son, you have beautiful gums."
"You have beautiful gums."
I swear to God,
every time someone says that I have a lovely smile,
-I always recall my mom's words. -Absolutely.
Now…
I just want to tell all of you that…
you're perfectly fine the way you are.
You don't need to become Akshay Kumar
or Amitabh Bachchan sahab.
Just be yourself. All the qualities are within you.
You just haven't discovered them yet.
You simply need to discover those qualities and work on growing.
-Wow! -That's all.
This advice will come in handy, no matter what your profession is.
But sometimes people give weird suggestions.
I'm not talking about you. People look up to you now.
But when you were a newcomer,
were you told to follow the styles of other actors?
Right? People say these things.
I was working on this one movie,
and the director--
I did three takes back-to-back, but he still wasn't happy.
-I see. -So he said…
"Akshay…
I want thirty percent Shatrughan Sinha sahab,
twenty percent Bachchan sahab
and thirty-five percent Dharmendra."
-Oh my God! -That's what I was told.
I can never forget it.
-I thought, "What kind of acting is this?" -That's a strange explanation.
How will I get this combination?
So I thought-- Well, I was itching to say,
"Sir, I wish your direction could be 20 percent like Mani Ratnam sahab."
I was itching to name all the famous directors
and ask him to be like them.
You know, there comes a time in life
when we feel financially secure.
When did you first feel, "I'm Akshay Kumar"?
Archana ji has been in the industry for 40 years.
It was nine years ago that
she first felt safe, when she became part of our show.
So, when did you first feel financially secure?
I read this piece of news, and it was a long time ago.
According to it, Jitendra sahab…
had a fixed deposit worth 100 crores.
Oh, wow!
I still remember, I ran to my father and I asked him--
I was already an actor then.
"Dad, if he has a 100-crore fixed deposit, what’s the interest he makes?"
Back then, interest rates were around 13 percent.
So at 13 percent,
that's one crore thirty lakh rupees per month.
I thought, "That’s it!"
The day I achieve this,
I'd feel secure with a fixed deposit of a hundred crores.
But humans can be really greedy.
From a hundred, I began dreaming of having a thousand crore in fixed deposit.
Then 2000 crores. It never seems to stop.
-How much is your largest fixed deposit? -I won't tell you!
I'm not telling you anything.
Taking forward what Akshay paaji just said,
human desires have no end.
No matter the wealth or fame you earn,
and considering your middle-class roots, paaji,
there are some habits that are hard to break.
Which of these habits haven't you changed yet?
At home, I have this habit.
If Aarav or my daughter leaves the lights on…
-You switch them off. Yeah. -I turn them off.
-I wonder why I do it! -Yeah.
At most, I'd be paying around 2,000 rupees extra on my electricity bill.
But I just can't shake off this habit.
-But that's a wonderful habit! -That's a good habit.
Old habits die hard.
You tend to have habits like switching off fans and lights
when you're the one paying the bill.
-I scolded my coach this morning. -Why?
I told him to switch on the AC five minutes before I arrived,
but he turned it on 25 minutes earlier.
Why do you have to switch it on so early?
It's just a habit of mine, not that I'm stingy.
It is just that thing in your head…
"Why are so many lights on? Why's the AC cranked down so low?"
If I'm at someone else's place and see a light left on, I switch it off.
-You must take their light bulbs too. -You should get help for that.
You should get it treated.
You can't turn off the lights at someone else's place.
Today, we're celebrating Akshay paaji special.
-Thirty-five years in the industry, right? -Thirty-five years.
He still looks 34 though! Incredible!
Thirty-five years in the industry.
An ordinary person
works 30 days a month and gets paid on the 31st.
He invites his friends for a drink or two, or whatever else he feels like doing.
He enjoys his salary for a day.
He spends the next day in recovery.
The next day, he skips work,
still buzzing with excitement over his paycheck.
But this guy here is different.
He's been working for 35 years.
He doesn't even call his friends over for a drink.
He doesn't have that habit.
-My school friend is sitting there. -Yes, I'm sure he just eats poha.
He is not…
You entertain the whole world,
but how do you entertain yourself? Do you even take a break?
-If yes, what do you do on your break? -Of course, I take breaks.
-I take 125 days off each year. -I see.
-Fifty-two Sundays. -Sunday.
Forty days of summer vacation.
-Ten to twelve days of Christmas. -Diwali. Christmas.
-Diwali is just for three days. -I see.
Then I take a week's holiday every three months.
You know…
I've made a timetable.
We all get the same 24 hours in a day
and 365 days in a year.
I'm telling you, the most important thing
-is called time management. -Management.
Time management…
I'm not here to lecture you.
I just want to say that
we possess something amazing,
and I'll leave you to reflect on this word.
It is called simplicity.
Make your life completely simple.
Wonderful!
Don't make it complicated.
Don't take stress.
Stress is an ailment that's extremely harmful.
I know
some people face financial problems,
while some struggle in their relationships.
I understand.
Let me tell you, I used to live in a really small house
shared with 24 other people.
He comes from a similar background.
But the thing is--
The quick takeaway is to keep your life simple.
You know why God has sent you?
So that you can enjoy life, because heaven is right here.
Earth itself is heaven.
Speaking of simplicity, I have to say I really admire his style.
He wears breezy, casual clothes and doesn't carry the airs of a star.
-You're-- -Casual?
They told me the show had already started.
So, I walked in wearing the same clothes I had arrived in.
-What-- -There's another outfit back there.
-Your main outfit? -That's right.
Should I go and change?
-Please, paaji. -Just a minute.
-I'll just take a toilet break also. -Yeah, yeah.
I think it's just an excuse.
-Why? -"I'll go and quickly change."
He does everything quickly.
I have a feeling he's shooting a commercial back there.
-He's very quick. -That's possible.
-Yes. -He's here.
-What did you say? -Nothing.
I said, it's all amazing.
He said you went backstage to shoot a commercial.
Well, I did that once.
See!
I was shooting for Mujhse Shaadi Karogi in Filmcity.
Right here, on the helipad.
I was offered a show while shooting this movie.
I was offered twenty lakh rupees for that gig.
It was actually a wedding event.
I was invited there.
Farah Khan was my choreographer.
I didn't tell her about the gig.
Had I told her about it, she wouldn't have allowed it.
Right then, Salman walked in.
I asked Farah to film a few takes with Salman.
"I'm not feeling very well, so just…"
She said, "Okay, go rest in the van."
I had a security guard waiting at the back.
The motorcycle was ready. I hopped on.
We rode to a place near the airport.
I performed at the show.
I grabbed my paycheck and hurried away from there.
So… I've done this before.
-Wow. -But it's fun.
I enjoy doing such things, and I love working.
-It is-- Yeah. -You're blessed, paaji.
We've got a few pictures of you.
-Oh, that one! -Those with funny comments.
That's right.
Let's check out Akshay paaji's photos.
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING
"On today's agenda. Sniff, walk, repeat."
Paaji, where was this picture taken?
-London. -London.
It's a nice picture. Let's check out the comments.
-That's a cute picture. -You know…
that's my dog, his name is Jeevs.
-Jeevs? Oh! -Jeevs.
He's a British dog.
-He must have a British passport. -So he-- Right.
So he-- Now he stays in Mumbai.
We brought him home. Now that he's been living here,
everyone in my family--
The thing is, I have a lot of Maharashtrians working for me,
and they've started calling him "Jeevdya."
Jeevdya!
They are…
Hey, Jeevdya!
-Hey, Jeevdya! -They are like, "Jeevdya, come here."
Let's read the comments.
"Funny how the richer someone gets, the tinier their dog becomes."
Someone has replied,
"The dog was much bigger, but he made it run so much that it shrank to this size."
Show us more.
"Celebrity dog or not, they all stop at lamp posts."
Next.
"Smile, because Bade and Chote have arrived in Lucknow."
Nice picture. Let's read the comments.
"They're sitting outside the plane before the film's release.
Once it's out, the producer will be left behind while they jet off in style."
They're so…
Next.
"They're checking which plane the pretty air hostesses are on
so they can board the same flight."
That must be your desire.
Next.
That's it?
I knew he'd show my pictures.
So I've got his pictures too.
Oh, lovely!
Come on. Let's check out his pictures.
Let's do this!
I have an idea. Let's call the entire star cast here.
-Call them. -Come on, guys!
Sunil paaji, Krushna bhai, Kiks.
He did my impression at the start.
I heard him.
-That was impressive. Really good. -Paaji.
Show Kapil's picture first.
"Three hours to go before the bar opens.
That's why he's sitting in the park, killing time."
-Very nice. -Next.
"As soon as the owner is away, he'll make off with one of the ducks."
Why would I do that?
I don't like this segment.
-Right. -Next.
Hey…
"I love to attend weddings!"
Whose wedding was it?
My aunt's son's son.
Your aunt's son's son?
Show us the comments.
"The wedding procession entered the venue.
He's standing outside to collect his payment."
Next.
"He was checking out some bhuaji, not realizing fufaji was glaring at him."
Next.
What's this?
"Krushna bhai,
you can neither handle your mama nor your pajama."
This was the best comment among all of them.
Next!
"Kids helping their dad put on a diaper."
Okay. Next.
"When you are supposed to be saving the city…"
-Come here. -"But you find a comfy bench
and decide to take a break."
-Kiku bhai, where was this clicked? -You should've chosen a nicer picture.
-Let's read the comments. -Next.
"Performed at a birthday party, now waiting for the cake."
Spider-Man.
Read this one.
"Spider-Man got gassy after downing chole bhature."
This one is from Kapil.
-It's definitely his comment! -No way…
This is my first time seeing this photo. Show us more.
"Bhalu."
-That's it? -"He's Spider-Man, not a bhalu."
"I wrote it in Bengali. 'Bhalu' means nice."
-Next. -Bhalo, bhalo, bhalo.
We have one of Sidhu paaji as well.
"Met Ashish Nehra and Capt. Sarab en route to Goa."
Show us the comments below.
"Neither of them had confirmed tickets, so they're traveling standing."
Good one.
Next.
"Sidhu ji is telling the air hostess
that the couplet Nehra recited was originally his."
Show us more.
"'Sofasana.' Celebrating Yoga every day."
-Archana ji, you already do yoga. -"Yoga every day."
Why not upload that?
She wrote, "Happy International Yoga Day.
But seriously, yoga asanas are a must,
so please don't take 'sofasana' seriously."
Let's read the comments.
"The woman's relaxing after giving her husband a good thrashing."
Spot-on!
Show us more.
"This woman takes over the sofa
-the moment she sees it." -"The moment she sees it."
Once again, they got it exactly right!
Show us more.
"Every time my wife gets off the sofa,
the cushion spends three minutes regaining shape."
I think that's Parmeet's comment!
Yes. It could be Parmeet sir's comment.
Next.
That's it? Thank you.
Look, Akshay paaji.
Yes, paaji.
Look, laughter and fun are wonderful things.
They didn't just teach us how to live, they taught us how to enjoy life.
Their humor uplifted the spirit of the entire country.
They united people who once sat apart,
bringing them together like a family.
I'll tell you what, paaji.
We actors who can make people laugh,
stand-up comedians, artists like them,
they don't get their due.
-Yeah, yeah. -I tell you…
You know, at award nights,
actors in comedy roles never seem to win Best Actor.
They always present it
to someone from a romantic film
-or a drama. But-- -Akshay paaji, making someone laugh
is the most difficult job.
Believe me, sir, nothing is tougher than making people laugh.
-Absolutely! -I tell you what.
The kind of performances these guys pull off--
I watch all their shows, and I love them.
And this is…
I just hope that, in my industry,
award nights begin to respect people who do comedy.
They are also great actors.
-A huge round of applause for the gang! -Thank you, thank you.
-Thank you, paaji.
-Thank you, Kiku bhai. Thank you, Krushna. -Thank you, thank you.
Paaji, Mahesh Bhatt sahab
is an amazing director.
He is a senior in our industry.
I want to show you what he said about Akshay paaji
If Hollywood has Tom Cruise,
who performs his own life-threatening stunts,
then we have Akshay Kumar.
I personally saw him
perform a stunt so daring
it would leave you breathless just hearing about it.
Truth be told, I shut my eyes and dashed to the corner instead of watching.
It was a strange stunt.
The fight master came to me and said…
"If the hero jumps from this building to the next,
it will make the scene come alive."
I said, "While it would bring the scene to life, we're also risking a life."
But Akshay said, "No worries. I will do it."
I told him, "Look, Akshay, you are my responsibility.
What if something goes wrong?"
He said, "Nothing will go wrong."
So, I shut my eyes, turned, and moved to the back.
Then, after that deafening silence,
something electrifying happened…
followed by applause.
When I heard the applause, I sighed in relief
and turned to see that he had landed safely.
And his expression was as if nothing had happened.
Perhaps that was the foundation that brought him this far.
Let's show you that scene as well. Please play it.
Incredible, paaji. Very good.
And it's not just Mahesh Bhatt sahab.
Many veterans in the industry feel the same way.
Play Abbas-Mustan sahab's clip.
-Abbas-Mustan sahab. -Hello, Akshay.
Hello, Kapil.
-Hello, sir. -Akshay, if we talk about action,
well…
there is one incident we can never forget.
He was shooting in front of our house,
and we received a call from the action director, Akbar Bakshi ji.
He said, "What are you guys doing tonight? Are you free?
Akshay is going to perform a stunt tonight.
Please come. It is something you just cannot miss.
It's something you've never seen or heard before."
Let me tell you what the stunt was.
Akshay had to ride a bike at full speed
and make the jump from one building to the next.
We were tense, the director was tense,
the producer was tense,
and even the team whose half-shot movie Akshay was working on was on edge.
Obviously.
Everyone was on edge. The only person who wasn't worried was Akshay Kumar.
Akshay started the bike and leapt into the air,
and everyone began whistling and clapping.
We ran over and saw that
both the landing and the shot were perfect.
We were really impressed!
-Love you. -Love you, Akshay.
Thank you, Abbas bhai. Thank you, Mustan bhai.
So, it's clear that you're not scared.
But the people who gave you a signing amount,
like Mustan bhai mentioned, must be scared.
Don't they try to stop you?
Well…
I consider myself primarily a stuntman, and then an actor.
I give credit to all the fight masters
-who look after their actors and stuntmen. -They do.
So…
to answer your question,
-I'd say it's the feeling… -The high.
-that incredible high… -The high.
-It feels amazing. -Like a challenge.
-A challenge. -The desire to give it a shot.
Today, I'm inviting some special guests you already know,
but others might be seeing for the first time.
They have done many dangerous stunts with you.
-Wow. -Amid your loud applause,
I would like to welcome Mr. Mehmood Bakshi…
-Wow! -Mr. Aejaz Gulab, Mr. Parvez Shaikh,
Mr. Robert J. Fonseca
Mr. Usman Khan, Mr. Yusuf Sheikh,
Abdul Qadir, Umar Sheikh,
Gulzar Khan, Mr. Vishal Tyagi,
Mr. Lucky Sandhu,
Mr. Adarsh Mishra, and Mr. Mehboob Rehman.
Come on.
Some of you can stand at the back, some can come forward.
-These are our fellow artists… -Sit, sit.
who have been working with Akshay paaji for many years.
They have performed extremely dangerous stunts with him.
Let me show you another scene of Akshay paaji.
Another stunt. Please sit down, paaji.
Sit down, Bunty.
Oh my God.
Wow!
All of you have been part of numerous films.
Even I have worked with Lucky paaji.
Yes, recently.
We've all seen him perform many of his own stunts on set.
Has it ever happened that you were ready to do a stunt,
and he came and took it from you?
Did something like that ever happen?
There have been many such incidents.
Come to the front. Why are you hiding at the back? Do you owe someone money?
Firstly, I want to say this.
The world has Superman, Batman, and the rest,
but in India, we have Akshay Kumar.
-How sweet! -Superhero!
We were shooting the movie Keemat in Film City.
Akshay bhai realized it was Eid, and that many of the fighters were Muslim.
There was a motorcycle stunt that involved jumping from the third floor
to the ground.
A stunt double named Munna bhai was supposed to do it.
When Akshay bhai found out Munna was going to do the stunt and get paid,
he asked Akbar Bakshi ji, the stunt master,
"How much would I get paid if I did the stunt myself?"
He said, "You are the hero. Your worth is beyond measure.
The producer will take care of everything."
-And in just one take, -Wow.
he did the motorcycle stunt, landed safely,
and called the producer…
to pay up.
So, he-- Back then, all payments were in cash.
So he-- Yes, all in cash!
So, he took the cash and said--
First, he called Munna bhai
and asked, "Munna bhai, how much were you getting?"
He said, "Five thousand rupees."
"Here's eight thousand. That's your payment."
And he gave Eidi to all the other boys as well.
Everyone was so happy.
He paid everyone else too.
Kapil asked me
why I do stunts.
I'll tell you why.
I do it because of them.
I knew that Bunty,
his brother Parvez,
Usman, Yusuf bhai…
-Riyaz. -Riyaz, and everyone are there
to take care of me.
They wouldn't let me get even a tiny scratch.
Yes!
Not even a tiny scratch.
Look at Mehboob bhai here.
He…
-From fire stunts to pyrotechnics… -Fire…
and gun sequences, he took care of everything.
All of it.
This man has performed so many bomb blasts--
By bomb blasts, I mean-- Not that.
Stunt sequences. No one has done more than he has.
His name belongs in the Guinness World Records.
Wow!
Later, he became unwell.
I'm shocked to see him here today. It's been so long since we last met.
Mehboob bhai, thank you so much.
You still look the same.
You haven't changed much, except for that little paunch.
It feels like you sleep in a fridge at night.
To me, they are the real heroes.
Wow!
I am the general secretary
of the association for all Bollywood stunt fighters.
I worked hard to get our fighters insurance
to secure their lives,
but it wasn't achievable.
Paaji, I went to many insurance companies,
met their MDs and GMs, everyone, but all of them said that
stuntmen put their lives at risk on purpose,
-so they couldn't provide us insurance. -Oh!
And the premium was something we couldn't afford, because…
even in 2015, if one person's premium went up to 30,000,
we just couldn't manage it.
Then, thanks to Akshay bhai,
he spoke to New India Assurance, and made sure--
Today, we have 650 members.
He made sure all of them could get insurance.
-Wow. -And…
from 2016 until today,
he has been paying the premiums.
Oh my God!
Sorry, Akshay bhai, for revealing this,
but since I handle all of it,
I'm aware that the premium this year is roughly 1.25 crore,
and he covered it.
So, Akshay bhai, once again, thank you so much.
We're all safe because of you.
Well…
that's a matter for later.
But the real heroes of my film industry are these people.
They are the real heroes.
If they don't do their work,
the actors won't look good.
I want to thank them.
The insurance matter is nothing major.
It's no big deal.
My whole career is thanks to these people.
They made it possible for me to perform my stunts.
It has been great.
It was a lot of fun.
In movies, you've already seen how a stuntman takes a fall.
I want to give you a real demo.
Okay.
Hit me.
I want you guys to take a guess at his age.
-Seventy-nine! -He is 73 years old!
Oh my God!
He's 73 years old.
-I've worked with him. -He's just two years younger than God.
-Thank you, Yusuf bhai. -Thank you, sir.
-Thank you. -Thank you for remembering us.
-Kudos! -It's like receiving a medal for us.
Usman sahab, I have seen a lot in life,
but today, I have to say this.
"If anything is a miracle, it deserves my salute."
What you did today, the flip in your seventies and the way you landed,
I have never seen anything like it in my life.
Never!
Let's give a huge round of applause to our daredevils!
Thank you very much, sir.
Greetings, friends!
Yes, friends! So happy to be here!
Jamnapar's sixth-best orchestra, Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra.
I'm the proprietor, Diamond Raja.
-Diamond… -Raja!
Diamond…
-Diamond… -Raja!
Yes, friends! For tonight's star,
-I want to say a few words. -Go ahead.
Who, in front of his wife
Tells the neighbor
"Wow, what a sari you wear!"
Who, in front of his wife
Tells the neighbor "What a sari you wear!"
He's the ultimate hero, beyond compare!
Come here.
Don't worry.
Want a picture with sir?
Want a picture?
Consider it done, but behave yourself, okay?
Don't ask him to get up.
Watch me. Sit next to him, but don't do this.
Got it? Big stars can get angry.
So, don't get too casual with him.
Also, never act like you're giving instructions to the guest.
Never do that. Okay?
Is that clear?
Let me see.
You cut off my head, man.
Anyway, we'll get your picture later.
-"Cut off my head." -Sir…
this is Diamond Raja,
proprietor of Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra.
-Good. -I'm not an ordinary man.
I rub shoulders with big shots.
-Is that so? -At one party,
I was sitting when the organizer walked over and told me, "Get up.
Suniel Shetty is coming. He will sit here."
So, I got up.
-Isn't that insulting? -How's that insulting?
I got up, he sat down. That means we rubbed shoulders, right?
If I had stayed seated and he had sat too, our shoulders wouldn't have touched.
That wouldn't be rubbing shoulders.
Are you out of your mind?
How is that an insult?
If I start taking small things as insults,
my whole orchestra business is finished, Sidhu sahab.
Absolutely correct.
Today, I won't call you "Akshay sir."
Don't mind.
What will you call him?
I'll call you "Bhatia bhaiya."
Why are you being so casual?
Because my surname is Bhatia too.
-Really? -Yes.
So your full name is Diamond Raja Bhatia?
No, no!
My sir's name is Bhatia.
I had a math professor. Sir's name is Bhatia.
-What's your surname? -Mom's family is Gupta…
-Okay. -and my dad is chubta.
What do you mean your dad is chubta?
My dad is a thorn in my mom's family.
-Why? -Because he eloped with my mom.
That's why he's a thorn.
Anyway, why are you here?
That's a rare question.
No one ever asks why I'm here.
Because everyone knows I'm a man with a purpose.
Unlike this guy here, inviting people and saying,
"Every Funnyday, our family will grow the happy way."
How does a family grow in front of cameras?
But you're funny.
You're funny, I must say.
The moment I look at your face, I start laughing.
And when I look at you, I feel like vomiting.
Actually, I've come here today with a deal for you.
Which deal?
You won't believe it.
What?
You have been selected for our international tour.
-What are you saying? -You don't believe it, do you?
-Thank you. -You don't believe it, right?
Hear it again. You have been selected for our international tour!
Thank you! Thank you!
-Where are we going? -Today you're not Akki, you're lucky!
This isn't some random, run-of-the-mill tour.
-No. -It's an international tour to Kathmandu.
Kathmandu!
We're going to Kathmandu by road.
We'll be taking the Gorakhpur route, with three stops.
Two for food and one for a bathroom break.
-Want more bathroom breaks? -No, that's fine.
We can stop twice if you want.
Three stops-- The driver is one of us. He's sitting right there.
-He'll make a stop anytime you ask. -This drummer is also a driver?
No, he's actually the driver, just sitting there with the drums.
From there, the next show will be in Womanhattan.
-Where is Womanhattan? -It's walking distance from Manhattan.
Is this your first trip abroad?
-Do you think it's my first time? -Yes.
Yes, it is.
Is a man not allowed a first time?
How can he go a second time if it's still his first trip?
What the hell, man!
-What are you saying? -I was only asking if you've gone before.
No, I haven't. This will be my first time.
Have you?
Yes, I have.
Do you have a passport?
-No, they just stamped… -Alright, son!
-my visa on my hand. -So you've forgotten
what happened on the plane?
Yeah…
Sidhu sahab…
Sidhu ji is always unearthing old skeletons.
He loves to dig up the past.
But I have a condition, sir…
-Sorry… -Bhatia sahab.
Bhatia bhaiya, just one condition.
If the event goes well…
Well, it rarely happens.
But if it goes well, you will join me for a drink
-What nonsense! -You can't say no.
He doesn't drink.
Then what's the point of earning so much?
Why bother earning if all you live on is oats and bananas?
Oats and bananas!
Don't worry. It's a multi-starrer show.
You don't have to shoulder it all alone. It's a multi-starrer show.
Hang on, my phone's buzzing.
Are you here? Don't go through security.
Come from the back.
Suniel Shetty.
Yes. Go under the wire,
otherwise they won't let you through. Okay?
Yeah.
They're coming.
Let me show you a demo.
Friends! Here's a sneak peek of the Chak Chak Dhoom Orchestra's
upcoming international tour.
Here's a small sample, courtesy of yours truly.
Yes, friends.
Dude, we are not performing Lavani.
The tour's not in India. It's international, okay?
Alright.
After eating her rice The camel wiggles and gets ready
-Wow! -Friends!
-I seek your appreciation. -Amazing.
After eating her rice The camel wiggles and gets ready
Here come Paresh Rawal and Suniel Shetty!
-Yeah! -Oh God!
I called you on stage, not for you to walk off!
-Come back! -Hey!
Hey!
Come back. Come with me.
Let's go. Come on.
What's wrong with you?
There you go, friends!
We're here to give you a sneak peek of our international tour.
We have with us junior Suniel Shetty.
Let's start with the dialogue segment. Stop laughing.
Kiku! What is this…
Hold your position
Stand still.
He can't see a thing.
-What do I even have to do here? -Hold on a minute.
-It's his turn now. -Okay.
-Go on. -Anjali!
Very nice!
-Let's hear it for him, friends. -An…
Anjali!
Forgetting you? That can never happen.
Very nice!
And…
And you forgetting me?
I'll never let that happen!
Let's give a huge round of applause, friends!
And now, presenting junior Paresh Rawal
with his dialogue item!
That rascal hit me in the chest!
He struck my chest! Raju, smash his skull!
Smash his skull! Smash it!
Take him away, Lord.
Take him away.
Excellent! Give him a huge round of applause!
Come on! Let's ask junior Suniel Shetty.
Who is this land to you?
This land is my mother!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
Whose style is this?
This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
Who is this land to you?
Whose style is this?
This is Baburao's style!
Who is this land to you?
This land is my mother!
Whose style is this?
This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
So in this, you ask, "Who is this land to you?"
That'll be your part in the show.
You ask, "Whose style is this?" He replies, "This is Baburao's style!"
-That will be your part. -Okay.
-Are you ready? -I'm ready.
Come on.
Let's go.
"Who is this land to you? Whose style is this?"
Yeah. One and only…
Bhatia bhaiya.
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
Whose style is this?
-"Who is this land to you?" -This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
-Whose style is this? -This is Baburao's style!
-Who is this land to you? -This land is my mother!
Bravo! Very good!
I will put this song in Hera Pheri 3.
-May I, please? -Please, just sign our contract first.
This is our contract.
You'll need to sign it and--
Such an extensive contract! Are you out of your mind?
This is just a box. The contract is only one page.
All we'll write in it is, "Please do our show."
Does anyone have a pen?
-Just say it, and we'll have it printed. -Toss it to me.
Hand me that pen.
-He got it. -He has the pen.
Use this. This is a writer's pen.
Who knows writers better than you?
"Please do our show.
Promise me you will."
-Promise! -At least sign it.
Here.
Your signature matters here, not mine.
Okay, I'll sign the contract, but only after we play a game.
-Really? -Yes.
-Alright. -This game is amazing.
-This game is packed with action and risk. -Okay.
Alright. Bring it here.
Okay. Let's start the game.
-I'll explain the rules to you guys. -Yes.
I've got three eye masks here.
You'll be wearing them.
Then I'll push this all the way back.
He'll stand up, say "one," and then quickly sit back down.
Then, he'll stand up, say "two," and sit back down.
He'll stand up, say "three," and sit back down.
We need to see whose face the balloon lands on.
Oh God!
Okay.
Put it on, quickly!
-Come on, ready? -Yes.
Start!
One!
Two!
Three!
One!
Two!
Three!
One!
Two!
-Oh my God! -One more time.
-But well done! -Thank you.
After this, Archana ji, Kapil, and I will play.
No!
-Listen, you sit in the front. -Okay.
Come on. You go there.
You can easily guess because of your massive wig.
Ready?
On your mark…
go!
-One! -Two!
-Go! -Three!
-One! -Two!
Last round.
Sunil is safe so far.
-Yes, only Sunil. -It doesn't have to land on him.
Come on, ready. One…
go!
One.
Three.
One.
I didn't do anything.
Let's give paaji a big round of applause!
It's always fun with Akshay paaji.
Whenever he comes, he puts our artists through absolute torture--
I mean, you support them so much.
Love you, paaji.
Thank you so much for coming.
Akshay paaji truly made this episode extra special.
Alright. Thank you.
So, friends, just like tonight, always keep laughing and smiling.
Always stay happy.
We'll see you again next season.
Until then, enjoy our episodes on Netflix…
using the subscription you've already paid for.
Use your subscription to the fullest!
Oh, man!
He got away.
Good night, guys! Wherever the camera is.
-Oh my God! -Catch!
See you all next season!