1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,480 MADELINE: What's he done now? 2 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:03,360 Told a sexist joke, it's all over Twitter. 3 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:04,840 What was the joke? I don't know. 4 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:05,880 You don't know? 5 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,640 Whatever it was, it really wasn't that bad. 6 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,120 Promise? Promise. 7 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,320 There's a bigger problem... The Hay Festival. 8 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,800 ON PHONE: 'We've got one week.' 9 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,400 90 minute interview? You think there's the slightest chance 10 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,760 they didn't find that wedding story before I even saw it? 11 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,640 I need you to concentrate on jokes about Twitter for Douglas. 12 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,560 No wonder they called it Twitter, it's full of twits. 13 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,600 Who are you? 14 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,800 I hear talks are going on, is that right? 15 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,080 Plans are in progress. 16 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,960 You do want this job, don't you? I mean, you want it enough. 17 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,880 I want it far too much. Wait, where you going? 18 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,920 I just heard you undo your belt, and I'm leaving. 19 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,520 You don't wanna get stuck here with Fossil Man. 20 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,960 HE CHUCKLES Why don't you... 21 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,120 The Hay Festival, Douglas's interview. It's gonna be a woman. 22 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,120 The Newsnight one. Oh, fu... 23 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,800 SHEILA: You need to prep. I know. 24 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,040 You need an interview rehearsal, but you keep Madeline out of this. 25 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,280 Anyone but Madeline. I'll do it. 26 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,160 No, can I just... I don't think... You win. I'll do it. 27 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,640 Hi, Madeline. 28 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,880 Or should I call you Kirsty? She's Scottish. 29 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,120 Yeah. Kirsty. 30 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,440 Understand I'm helping you, yeah? No. 31 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,480 Yeah. 32 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,480 Oh, hello, Sheila, come to watch? This is gonna be fun, yeah? 33 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,880 BENTLY: Any word? 34 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,760 They're not gonna change the interviewer now. 35 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,920 No. No, probably not. Definitely not. 36 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,800 Yeah, definitely not, you're probably right. 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,440 I'm definitely right. Yeah. Yeah. 38 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,280 There is not a single possibility, listen to me, not one, 39 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,280 of them changing interviewer at this stage. 40 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,840 Yeah, exactly. Exactly what I think. Good. 41 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,120 We'll just have to wait and see. 42 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,880 Excuse me. 43 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,120 But do you think they'll use the clip, the video? 44 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,480 Yeah. You think they will? 45 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,200 Oh, I know they will. All of it? 46 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,280 All of it. 47 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,600 MORGAN: Twitter? More like Twatter. BENTLY: I'm sorry? 48 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,360 Twitter? More like Twatter. 49 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,960 That's the joke, yeah? Joke? 50 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,560 Well, that's what I'm working on. 51 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,960 Are you gonna make it funny now? 52 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,080 Er, it's funny already. Is it? 53 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,320 Well, she laughed. 54 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,440 No, I didn't. You smiled. Trust me. 55 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,640 I think it was a polite smile. 56 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,920 You were aiming for polite, weren't you? 57 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:20,400 It's hard to tell with young people, 58 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,600 faces are very different now with all the new attitudes. 59 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,960 It was. It was polite. Well, that's good then 60 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,240 I do a ton of stand-up, and let me tell you something, 61 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,160 babes, a polite smile is every bit as good as a laugh. Really? 62 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,680 Yeah. Yeah. It's what everyone says on the circuit. 63 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,000 Soon as you come off stage. 64 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,400 Don't call me babes. 65 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,560 LAUGHING: Excuse me? You called me babes. 66 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,480 Don't call me babes. I'm not a baby. Right? 67 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,280 Of course you're not a baby. I don't flirt with babies. 68 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,480 As in, I really don't do that. That's totally out for me. 69 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,360 I'm like, "Babies"... HE GAGS 70 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,840 no, like, deal-breaker. 71 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,960 So, if I can just remind you of the brief here, we need a... 72 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,680 Thank you (!) Sorry. 73 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,840 ..we need a joke that Douglas can claim he told at the wedding. 74 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,120 It needs to be a bit misogynist 75 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,920 or no-one will believe it came from Douglas, 76 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,560 but not so misogynist that Douglas'll get cancelled. 77 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,880 So nuanced misogyny. Misogyny that women can really get behind. 78 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,160 Family friendly misogyny from a happier time. 79 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,480 Misogyny you can take home to your mum and hit her with it. 80 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,880 No. No, don't do that, no, don't hit your mum. 81 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,080 Don't hit mums. 82 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,560 We good to go? Any time. 83 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,080 SHEILA: How can you trust that woman? 84 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,400 How can you trust Madeline? 85 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,320 Same way I trust everyone else. 86 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,480 Incompletely. 87 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,320 Right. Let's get started. OK. We're good to go. 88 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,400 Melvin, I'm gonna need that chair. MORGAN: Morgan. 89 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,480 Hm? Morgan. 90 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,480 There's a stool over there somewhere. Oh, yes. 91 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,520 Hey. 92 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,240 Yep, that's good. I'll just keep it going. 93 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,280 Hey. 94 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,040 God, this is ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, you interviewing me. 95 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,240 HE CHUCKLES I mean... rehearsing me. 96 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,000 Helping me. Obviously. 97 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,960 THROUGH SPEAKER: 'But it's all so ridiculous, isn't it?' 98 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,360 'How can there be all this fuss about a stupid joke?' 99 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,960 'It wasn't a joke, though, was it?' 100 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,960 MUFFLED: 'It was a story.' 101 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,240 'And they all laughed.' 102 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,440 'All those men laughed.' 103 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,160 And the story you told them was about me. 104 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,600 Toby... 105 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,600 OK, studio, here we go. Three... BELL SOUNDS 106 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,920 ..two... one... Cue Madeline. 107 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,240 Stop! And I know exactly what you said. 108 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,880 OK. Douglas Bellowes. National treasure. 109 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,000 Madeline... We're not... 35 years in the business. 110 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,480 35 years as the self-described voice of sanity for the nation, 111 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,600 but we're going to start 112 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,720 with something recent, which the voice of sanity... 113 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,960 Could we cut a moment, please? ..has been heard saying. 114 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,440 I'm sure you know, there's been some discussion online 115 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,960 about a joke you made. Toby, can we... 116 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,520 I'm sure you'd like a chance to clear things up. Can we stop? 117 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,000 According to the original tweet, which I know you've seen... 118 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,760 Just stop, please. You told a joke that... 119 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,960 We've stopped, Madeline. ..was described as sexist. 120 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,240 Toby, can you come in here? So can I just ask you, what was the joke? 121 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,480 Yeah, I'm here. Douglas, to be clear, 122 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,200 are you declining to answer the question? 123 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,480 Will you repeat what you said? I asked you about the joke, 124 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,400 then I asked if you were declining to answer me. 125 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,240 No, before that. When you covered your mic. 126 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,800 I don't recall. 127 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,640 You just told me, a moment ago, a few seconds ago, 128 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,840 that you thought the joke at the wedding was about you. 129 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,440 You said that I told a story about you, and all the men laughed. 130 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,840 You said that. You accused me. No, I didn't. 131 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:35,920 For Christ's sake! 132 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,160 You were audible on the studio mics, I heard you. 133 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,840 I knew I was audible, Sheila, because I know how a studio works, 134 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,160 but I didn't say that. 135 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:46,400 Kirsty said it. 136 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,920 DOUGLAS GROANS I was being her. 137 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,640 That's the whole point of this, yeah? 138 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,560 Oh, for God's sake! 139 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,960 This is a simulation, this is a rehearsal. 140 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,280 I'm Kirsty, this is the Hay Festival, 141 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,160 and that's the condemned man, 142 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,640 and what Kirsty just did, not me, Kirsty, 143 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,280 was to try and throw you off balance 144 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,200 a second before the interview started. 145 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,320 Good, isn't she? Kirsty wouldn't... For God's sake. 146 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,400 She's not gonna think the joke was about her, is she? 147 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,640 Why not? You tell funny stories about everyone. 148 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,200 Kirsty, Gavin, Toby, me. Your wife. 149 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,880 It's your party piece, funny stories about people you know. 150 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,320 Conceivably, she might think the joke was about her, 151 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,640 or she might pretend to, to throw you off. 152 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,800 That's not likely. She's not like that. 153 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,560 We're not in the business of what's likely, 154 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,280 we are in the business of what's possible. 155 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,160 Or should we rehearse for the best case scenario? Hm? 156 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,840 I have been up all night, I literally have not slept, 157 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,920 trying to think of every way she can come at you. 158 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,400 Because that's what you wanted me to do. 159 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,920 Every dirty trick I know. Every dirty trick I've read about. 160 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,960 I've got pages of this stuff! Look at it. 161 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,520 Look at it, pages. And you fell apart on the first line. 162 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,960 Are you starting to understand how much trouble you're in now? 163 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,760 Douglas, you are not ready. 164 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,000 Either you find that out here, 165 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,760 surrounded by friends, or you find out in fucking public. 166 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,400 So what do you want to do now? 167 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,600 Shall we all just go home and pretend everything's OK? 168 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,640 Or maybe here's a better idea. 169 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,160 Why don't do we get back to work 170 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,440 and you let me save your stupid arse? 171 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,680 What do you say? 172 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,920 Madeline, listen. Not Madeline. 173 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,440 I'm not Madeline right now. 174 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,880 I'm an avenging angel of death off Newsnight, 175 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,040 and you're Prince Andrew. 176 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,760 I'm sitting in this time. I'm gonna watch from here. 177 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,880 Sure, go ahead. 178 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,520 Ah, not in Douglas's eye line, please. 179 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,320 I will sit where I like. No, yes, of course you will. 180 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400 But not in Douglas's eye line, please. 181 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,920 Or mine. 182 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,040 I'll stay as well. Fine, great. Sit where you like. 183 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,080 So, where were we? 184 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,840 You were wondering if the joke was about you. 185 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,840 Oh, it was about me. We both know that. 186 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,800 You're saying the joke was about Kirsty. About me. 187 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,480 Yes, and you're Kirsty. 188 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,880 Toby. 189 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,880 This time, no stopping for anything, OK? 190 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,000 Keep it flowing. 191 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,360 Whatever happens, just let it happen. 192 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,520 Every dirty trick. 193 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,960 TOBY: And cue Madeline. 194 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,200 Madeline? 195 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,160 Cue Kirsty. 196 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,200 STUDIO BELL RINGS 197 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,040 Douglas, I have been in contact with Patrick Harland, 198 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,400 who overheard your joke at the wedding. 199 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,920 I have a summary of it in front of me. 200 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:02,320 Would you like me to read it aloud, 201 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,280 or would you prefer to tell it in your own words? 202 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,200 Douglas? 203 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,800 Are you serious? Perfectly. 204 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,800 What would you prefer? Your words or Patrick's? 205 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,320 No, hang... hang on, is this real? 206 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,440 Yes. Your words or Patrick's? 207 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,040 Er... well, I don't... 208 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,920 As I've explained already, I... I... 209 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,640 I don't really remember saying anything. 210 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:28,320 Look, sorry, I... I have to know, is this real, or part of the thing? 211 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,000 Is what for real? 212 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,520 Well, have you actually got it there? 213 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,240 The... the story I told at the wedding? 214 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,040 Interesting. I agree. 215 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,160 You agree what? 216 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,720 You just described it as a story. Not a joke, a story. 217 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,800 Having read Patrick's account, I'd agree with you. 218 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,800 It's more... It's more like an anecdote. 219 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,000 Something that really happened. So that's good news, isn't it? 220 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,840 What... What is? You do remember. 221 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,760 OK, maybe we should stop a moment. Flowing. 222 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,120 So, you do remember. No, I don't. 223 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,760 But you just specified quite accurately 224 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,680 that it was a story, rather than... 225 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,920 It was a long day, I spoke to a lot of people, no, I do not remember. 226 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,080 So, what are you telling us? 227 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,040 You remember what kind of thing you said without 228 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,600 remembering what you actually said? I know I wasn't offensive. 229 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,360 Though you were drinking. I was not drunk. 230 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,560 Though there are gaps in your memory. Maybe there were 231 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,720 lapses in your judgment. I have no reason to think so. 232 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,200 You have Patrick Harland, who publicly described your story 233 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,080 as sexist, and in his email to me, as, er, let's see... 234 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,520 Ah, "highly misogynist". 235 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,480 Well, it's his word against mine, then. 236 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,520 He wasn't drunk. Neither was I. 237 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,000 He has the advantage of actually remembering what happened. 238 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,560 Oh, for God's sake! 239 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,840 Are you angry? 240 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,840 I'm being called a misogynist. 241 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,800 Yes, and you're angry, lashing out, red in the face. 242 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,720 Do you think it's wise to respond to an accusation of misogyny like that? 243 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,920 Like what? 244 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,200 Like a man. 245 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,680 DOUGLAS CLEARS THROAT 246 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,320 Whatever it says there, 247 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,400 it will be, at best, a gross distortion of anything I said. 248 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,600 Well, you wouldn't know, would you? 249 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,840 You don't remember anything. 250 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,320 Well, no, but I do know... Whereas Mr Harland was sober. 251 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,080 So why is he the one we should be doubting? 252 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,760 Why's he the one you're believing? 253 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,680 This is online gossip. When did that become news? 254 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,680 No offence, Kirsty, but right now 255 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,920 you do seem to have mistaken Twitter for research 256 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,600 and an internet troll for a source. 257 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,600 Have YOU been drinking? 258 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,360 MADELINE CLEARS THROAT 259 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,600 It was about a colleague of yours. 260 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,640 Sorry, what? 261 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,880 The story. 262 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,680 I'm just trying to jog your memory. 263 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,600 A close colleague and how you first met her. 264 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,960 Does that... 265 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,280 Does that mean anything to you? 266 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,600 No. 267 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,960 There are details in the story that are slightly hard to talk about, 268 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,640 but essentially, you first met this woman in a hotel room. 269 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,480 Not her hotel room. Or yours. 270 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,560 In fact, the hotel room of one of your senior colleagues. 271 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,840 The gist of the... 272 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,200 well, humour, but I suppose we'd have to call it... 273 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,280 At any rate, the element of the story 274 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,320 that caused all the men around you to laugh 275 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,840 was your theory that this was how she'd got her current job. 276 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,720 Given the laughter, one assumes the implication was sexual. 277 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,560 Ring any bells? 278 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:22,880 No. 279 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,400 I don't mean as a story, as an incident. 280 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,440 Did anything like this happen which might have been, you know, 281 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,280 maliciously exaggerated into this kind of story? 282 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,960 Something you might have joked about? 283 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,240 For the entertainment of your friends? 284 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,400 For all those laughing men? 285 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,320 Like I said, not ringing any bells. 286 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,160 TOBY: Cut. Don't cut. 287 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,520 Cut. Do not cut! 288 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:50,680 Madeline, look, I'm sorry, 289 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,520 but if you're gonna mention specific people by name, 290 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,840 even in a rehearsal context, we cannot run the risk of slandering... 291 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,520 No individuals will be named in this rehearsal. 292 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,720 Good. 293 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,760 Thank you. Well. 294 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,840 No individuals who aren't in this room anyway. 295 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,960 One more time. 296 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,480 Please search your memory. 297 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,160 Do the details of the anecdote I have summarised 298 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,960 from Patrick Harland's account 299 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,560 resemble any incident you can recall, 300 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,800 however exaggerated or distorted? 301 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,880 No. How many times do I have to tell you? 302 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:27,920 No. 303 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,400 Two years ago in the Radio Times. 304 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,480 18 months ago on Desert Island Discs, 305 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,120 four months ago in a Guardian profile piece 306 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,280 and just two months ago in The Telegraph. 307 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,000 On all those occasions, you alluded, in passing, 308 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,240 to your first meeting with your current co-presenter, 309 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,960 in the hotel suite of a senior colleague. 310 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,480 You never hinted at any impropriety, not then, anyway, but 311 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,120 clearly this incident resembles the one in Patrick Harland's account. 312 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,120 So, please, explain this. 313 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,440 You have remembered the details of this meeting 314 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,360 perfectly clearly for nearly three years. 315 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,360 You've talked about it as recently as a couple of months ago, 316 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,840 so why did you say that you couldn't remember it? 317 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,320 What's changed? 318 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,560 OK. Maybe you can answer this. 319 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,720 When you implied, at the wedding, 320 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,080 that maybe your co-presenter owes her current position 321 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,840 to sleeping with a senior colleague, were you joking? 322 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,440 Or is that what you really think? 323 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,560 And either way, what can we conclude about your opinion 324 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,480 of your current co-presenter, Madeline Crow? 325 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,520 Cut! Well, then. Who needs a comfort break? 326 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,480 I... I think we've drifted into an area probably best left... 327 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,160 Madeline, what's this about? Me. 328 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,640 I just... Can we just talk a moment? Back before you know it, Toby. 329 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,200 Fast at weeing, remember? Madeline. 330 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,960 What's wrong? Having a problem with your flow speed? 331 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,920 What's she doing? What was any of that even about? 332 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,320 Is Madeline right? Is that what you said at the wedding? No. 333 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,800 No? No. No, it wasn't. 334 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,840 What do you mean, "No, it wasn't"? 335 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,000 You don't remember what you said at the wedding, 336 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,920 so how can you know what it wasn't? 337 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,000 Because... I wouldn't... 338 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,760 Not remembering is the best strategy. 339 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,400 For God's sake, stick with it. 340 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,400 This isn't a choice, I mean, there isn't... I'm not lying. 341 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,840 It doesn't matter if you're lying. 342 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,080 It matters if you look as though you're lying. 343 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,880 Can I just say, if you believe, 344 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,160 just because Madeline was in my hotel room... 345 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,520 If you have told some kind of disgusting lie, even as a joke... 346 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,320 Right, OK, not what we're talking about. 347 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,080 No, I need to know, I have a right to know if either of you believe 348 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,200 that any inappropriate... Not what we're talking about... 349 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,840 Jesus. 350 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,120 Claudia? What's Claudia doing here? 351 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,320 Claudia? Who is that guy? 352 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,920 What guy? He says he's a comedy writer. 353 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,440 What do you need a comedy writer for? 354 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,800 It's nothing, I just thought we might need a little... 355 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,640 A little what? Creativity. 356 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,680 Why? Claudia, Dad's working on something, 357 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,320 and it's a bit complicated... 358 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,480 I know what he's working on. 359 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,480 He's doing a rehearsal interview with Madeline. 360 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:26,920 How do you know that? 361 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,320 He says he's writing a joke. Why do you need a joke? 362 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,440 Claudia, how do you know about the rehearsal? 363 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,280 Madeline told me. 364 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,440 Madeline? Yeah, Madeline. 365 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,680 Madeline invited me here. Where is she? 366 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,920 Seriously? 367 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,360 My daughter? Oh. 368 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,520 Has Claudia arrived? You invited her. 369 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,440 I slipped into her DMs, yeah. She's a smart girl. 370 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,840 She shouldn't be here. 371 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,800 She'll be at the Hay Festival, won't she? 372 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,160 At the very least, she'll watch the interview online. 373 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,160 You had no business bringing her into this. 374 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:18,160 You're right, I didn't. It's completely out of order. 375 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,360 In fact, you know what it is? 376 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,000 It's a dirty trick. 377 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,840 And that's the bloody point, yeah? 378 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,000 Every dirty trick, like I promised. 379 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,600 Sheila, listen to me. 380 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,120 That national disgrace you edit you call a newspaper. 381 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,440 Think of everything you ever did for a front page 382 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,720 that just ruined someone's life. 383 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,600 Every lie, every promise, every shitty little thing, 384 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,720 because all of that, every little bit of it, 385 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,440 is what's coming for your husband. 386 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,480 I love Douglas. 387 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,760 He's a clever man, but he's not ready for this. 388 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,640 So for all our sakes, I'm going to make him ready. 389 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,600 You love him? 390 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,800 He's my friend. 391 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,520 Are you fucking him?! 392 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,760 Are you fucking my husband? 393 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,000 No. 394 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,040 Are you? 395 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,760 You act like you're fucking him. 396 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,200 You don't. 397 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,880 That's not even a joke. It's word play. 398 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,640 TOBY: It's not funny. No, it is. 399 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,360 "Twitter... more like Twatter." You see? 400 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,680 I find it offensive. That's where you're wrong. 401 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,560 You're basically trashing a media platform 402 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,720 by comparing it to female genitalia. No! No, no, no. 403 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:45,800 It's demeaning to women. 404 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,240 That's where women are wrong. JENN: I think it's demeaning. 405 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,360 Oh, and here's another of them, because twat doesn't have to mean... 406 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,840 one of those. One of those! 407 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,080 It only means lady parts when you're being obscene. 408 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,680 Jesus, obscene? When you're plumbing the depths. 409 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,880 The depths? The question is, do we have a joke 410 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,880 at the exact level of misogyny that people associate with Douglas? 411 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,800 I think we're in the right ball sack. Excuse me? 412 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,520 Er, that's like saying ball park but kind of humorous. 413 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,160 Do you have any jokes away from the groin area? 414 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,280 Not those balls! 415 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,640 The kind of balls you play with... 416 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,280 ..in a park. DOUGLAS: Oh, Christ. 417 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,200 Morgan, I think it's time you stepped out. 418 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,360 And twat doesn't have to mean lady parts. 419 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,000 It can mean lady parts, or it can mean someone so stupid 420 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,840 that you're comparing them to lady parts. 421 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,400 How is that demeaning? Almost completely, I'd say. 422 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,760 Morgan. Anyway, I didn't even say twat. I said Twatter. 423 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,680 That's like me saying vaginer. Yes, it is. 424 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,120 No, I said vagin-er. 425 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,840 We all heard what you said. Could you please stop saying it? 426 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,280 No, listen, I said vagin-er. 427 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,800 Vagin-er. 428 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,200 Vagin-er! Jesus, Toby. 429 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,480 You should know how it's pronounced, you've probably got one. Probably? 430 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,720 What are you doing? 431 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,720 It's an inappropriate workplace conversation, 432 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,760 and I'm documenting it. 433 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,800 Douglas, out of here! Out. You too. 434 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,280 Dad, why was that guy in there? The idiot? 435 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,120 He's not an idiot. He's a comedy writer. 436 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,960 Why do you need help with the joke? 437 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,880 Is he making up a joke for you? Why can't you just tell the truth? 438 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,880 Because I work in television. 439 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,880 Because this is a television news studio, 440 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,240 and the truth needs a little help now and then. 441 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,400 Because between you and me, 442 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,480 our audience wouldn't understand the truth 443 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,480 even if we had the guts to tell it or knew what it was 444 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,520 in the first place. 445 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,520 I've had a word with that bitch who was videoing. 446 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,600 She's back in her lesbian box. She'll be no trouble. 447 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,680 Her "what" box? 448 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,560 It's an expression. It really isn't. 449 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,440 Let me know if you need your career saving again. I'm here for you. 450 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,560 Why do you need a rehearsal anyway? It's just an interview. 451 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,440 It's practise in case anyone wants to ask Dad 452 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,680 about the joke at the wedding. 453 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,760 Have you told them you can't remember it? Yes. Yes! 454 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,120 Well, how much practise do you need saying that? 455 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:42,360 Maybe you should go home. 456 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,680 I'd rather watch. I can watch, can't I? 457 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,440 Madeline invited me. Fine by me. 458 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,200 TOBY: This is not a suitable place for... 459 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,920 What I mean to say is, your father has to concentrate. 460 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,720 Best not, Claudia. I'm staying. 461 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,920 I can stay, right? Sure. Just not in my eyeline, OK? 462 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,280 Or your father's. No, it's fine. 463 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,360 You sit where I can see you. No problem. 464 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,760 My daughter? 465 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,480 Every dirty trick. OK. 466 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,360 OK. 467 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,840 No cuts. We go straight through, whatever happens. 468 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,520 I agree. I didn't ask. 469 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,200 So, can I just reiterate? 470 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,520 Naming actual names, even in this context, 471 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:27,720 would be, I think, unwise. 472 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,880 As I said, no-one's going to get named. 473 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,760 Good. No-one outside this room. 474 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,680 So, are you ready? I'm ready. 475 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,600 Douglas? 476 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,880 Ready. 477 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:41,960 Right 478 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,600 MAN: OK. Jenn, turn over. 479 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,200 BELL RINGS 480 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,960 TOBY COUGHS Cue. 481 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,520 Cue Madeline. 482 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,880 Cue... Kirsty. 483 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,880 Douglas, how could you so conveniently forget 484 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,840 the details of your first meeting with Madeline Crow? 485 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,400 I didn't forget. I was lying. 486 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,760 Oh, you're happy to admit that. Of course I admit it. 487 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,080 I elected not to lend credence to a malicious piece of gossip 488 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,680 about Madeline Crow sleeping with my producer, 489 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,800 and I'm surprised you expect me to. 490 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,840 But you told that exact story at the wedding. 491 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,920 No, I didn't. Patrick Harland says I did. 492 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,680 Or at any rate, you say he said I did. 493 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,640 Maybe he's lying. Maybe you're lying. I'm not. 494 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:30,720 Read it out. 495 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,560 Read what out? 496 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,480 The email. Patrick's. 497 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,560 Because, you see, 498 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,760 I'm starting to think there's nothing actually in it. 499 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:39,840 Read it out, please. 500 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,760 The relevant passage is this... 501 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,560 "I can confirm that Douglas Bellowes told a highly misogynist story 502 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,840 "at the wedding about a colleague of his, 503 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,600 "but I don't feel comfortable relating the details." 504 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,160 And there he goes, backing away, caught out in a lie. 505 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,320 Well, thanks for the chance to clear that up, Kirsty. 506 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,120 Can we talk about my charity work now? 507 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,880 I don't actually do any charity work, 508 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,960 but seeing as we're just making shit up anyway... 509 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,440 CLAUDIA LAUGHS 510 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,280 Jenn, now, please. 511 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,280 DOUGLAS ON VIDEO: 'Come on, Mike.' 512 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,400 Everyone's a camera crew now. 513 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,760 There's a whole Facebook page of video footage from that wedding. 514 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,360 You're in about two thirds of it, 515 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,600 seeing as you were the only celebrity there. 516 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,960 Before you completely deny telling that story, 517 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,720 shouldn't you check if there's a video? 518 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,800 There isn't a video because it never happened, 519 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,000 because drunk or sober, I would never tell that story 520 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,720 because, Kirsty, it isn't true. 521 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,480 You don't remember, though. 522 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,040 And you don't have a recording, or you'd have played it already. 523 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,480 Now, what about my charity work? 524 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,200 Can we move on to my campaign to save the blue gibbon? 525 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,280 Is there such a thing as a blue gibbon, or am I already too late? 526 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,440 CLAUDIA LAUGHS 527 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,400 There's bound to be more footage than has been posted so far. 528 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,640 It could show up any time. 529 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,680 Well, let me know if there's more of my dancing. 530 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,480 I'm sure Claudia would be happy... Yeah. 531 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,600 ..because that's all you're gonna find. 532 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,000 You sound very confident. That's because I am very confident. 533 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,600 Do you mind if I put your confidence to the test, 534 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,520 because I have a tweet ready to go here? 535 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,120 SHE CLEARS THROAT 536 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,320 "Please post any footage you have of Douglas Bellowes 537 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,400 "and his sexist joke at recent wedding." 538 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,360 Are you happy for me to post that? 539 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,440 Is that real? No cutting. Keep it flowing. 540 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,960 Yeah, I think maybe we should stop. Jenn, do not cut! 541 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,000 It's all about flow speed, Toby. It's OK, Toby. It's fine. 542 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,720 This is just a rehearsal. No, cut. 543 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,520 Cut now. Are you actually gonna tweet that? 544 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,800 No, it's just a rehearsal. 545 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,040 Can I ask, is this how you normally conduct interviews? 546 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,160 Asking questions? Posting on Twitter. 547 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,320 Does that mean you're not happy for me to post this? 548 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,480 Appealing to a Twitter mob is not journalism. 549 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,360 You think of your audience as a mob? No. I said Twitter, not my audience. 550 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,840 Who follows you on Twitter except your audience? 551 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,040 Oh, for Christ's sake! 552 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,080 OK. I think maybe we should stop for a while. 553 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,640 No! She's winding you up. 554 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,680 Oh, she's trying to. She's succeeding. 555 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,920 You're getting angry. 556 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,960 You need to stop and calm down. No. 557 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:26,880 Do it. 558 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:34,120 Well, what are you waiting for? Do it. 559 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,800 Press send. 560 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,240 CLEARS THROAT 561 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,880 It's, er... 562 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,880 It's a popular thread on Twitter. 563 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,520 We might get an answer quite fast. Hm, will you, though? 564 00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,640 Because, you see, you've already done the research. 565 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,440 You've already asked all those questions. 566 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,520 So what difference is asking them again gonna make? 567 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,880 I suppose we'll have to see. 568 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,440 Well? 569 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:08,640 Well, what? On you go. 570 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,560 You now. Me? 571 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,920 Most people at that wedding were your friends and family. 572 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,800 They might be reticent about posting a video of you drunk. 573 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:17,840 You know that, of course, 574 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,560 that's probably why you're so confident. 575 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:23,160 But if you give your blessing, that will probably encourage them. 576 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,640 Unless you don't want to? 577 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,720 OK, I think we should definitely stop now. 578 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,880 Do you want to stop, Douglas? 579 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,600 Do you have a reason to stop? Mum, it's OK. 580 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,440 Claudia, you don't understand, please... 581 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,840 Mum, don't interfere! Dad and I had a conversation. 582 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,920 This is all fine. Isn't it, Dad? 583 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,440 What am I supposed to say? Anything you want to say. 584 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,840 Douglas. I'm fine. It's just a rehearsal. 585 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,920 How about this? 586 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:13,000 "Please post... any video evidence... 587 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,240 "of my unprofessional conduct." 588 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,240 Enough? "With my blessing." 589 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,880 "With my... blessing." 590 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,760 Hashtag "totalconfidence". Fine. 591 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,240 Actually, that was a joke. No, I don't mind. 592 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,440 You know what your trouble is? You're forgetting something. 593 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,840 I've been at this over 30 years. I know what I'm doing. 594 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,640 I know when my mic is live. I know when there's a camera on me. 595 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,560 And you can take it from me, Madeline, 596 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,480 total confidence, cast-iron guarantee, 597 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,920 no-one was recording me when I told that story. 598 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,400 What story? The specific one you can't remember telling? 599 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,960 So... getting my head round this. 600 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,520 You didn't tell THAT story. 601 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,440 You don't remember telling any story... 602 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,720 ..but you remember checking for cameras first? 603 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,160 I-I misspoke. Oh, you misspoke. 604 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,080 Didn't you just. 605 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,960 Let's just summarise what we've established. 606 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,960 You did tell a sexist story about your colleague. 607 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,920 You remember doing so perfectly well, 608 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,000 and you've been lying about it to everyone, 609 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,840 including your own family out of... 610 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,080 ..out of shame at your own conduct. 611 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,920 Cut. 612 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:50,600 We're done. 613 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,120 BELL RINGS Can I just clarify something? 614 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,720 Nobody actually tweeted anything, correct? 615 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,560 Christ, is that what you're worrying about? 616 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,880 If we start stirring up this situation, 617 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,800 it becomes very difficult to put the genie back in the bottle. 618 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:06,560 It's a rehearsal. 619 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,360 My phone doesn't even get a signal down here. 620 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:13,120 Ask Douglas. I always have to borrow his. 621 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,640 Christ... you didn't. 622 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,640 You didn't. You didn't. You didn't. 623 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,480 Douglas! 624 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,040 Fuck! 625 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,320 MAN: Thanks, Jenn, we won't be needing you now. 626 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,840 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! 627 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,880 What were you thinking? It was a rehearsal! 628 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,520 Fuck. Fuck! 629 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,640 For fuck's sake, just delete it! Why? What for? What does it matter? 630 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,040 He doesn't need to, Mum. It's OK. 631 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,080 Claudia, enough! Delete it. For Christ's sake. 632 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,800 There is no footage. There can't be. 633 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,120 No footage of the joke you didn't tell? 634 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,360 Of any joke! Of any joke I might have told. 635 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,520 I always check if I'm on camera. 636 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,640 Claudia, I don't remember what joke I told, 637 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,160 but whatever it was, it was harmless, 638 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,360 and it was not on camera. OK. 639 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,520 Do you believe me? 640 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,560 Yes. I do, yes. It's already being retweeted. 641 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:24,840 Really, do you? I believe you. 642 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,680 Bloody retweeted everywhere. Claudia? 643 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:29,880 Dad. I believe you, hashtag "totalconfidence". 644 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,800 You know what? I'm retweeting it too. 645 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,200 No. Claudia, no, no, no. Stop! He's not lying. 646 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,880 He doesn't lie to me. Was this on purpose? 647 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,760 Did you know what you were doing? I knew exactly what I was doing. 648 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,400 I was rehearsing. 649 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,720 It was your husband who got confused. 650 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,760 OK, what we need to do, we need to close this down. 651 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,320 Shut up. Just shut up. Everybody, just shut up! 652 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,240 Let me explain what's going to happen now, 653 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:59,160 in case anyone is stupid enough not to understand. 654 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,520 The story changes from "did Douglas tell a dodgy joke" 655 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:03,920 to "who has the footage?" 656 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:08,480 If no-one shows up, it becomes, "Who heard the joke?" 657 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,280 The only question left is which of your friends you spoke to 658 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,840 at the wedding will throw you under the bus first? 659 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,840 If you told that story... 660 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,720 it's coming out, Douglas. 661 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,640 It's coming out. Listen. Just listen to me. 662 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,360 Don't speak. Don't speak. Don't say anything. 663 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,800 We're going home now. 664 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:27,840 Tell me what you said about me. 665 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,000 Tell me how you made them laugh. He doesn't remember what he said. 666 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,760 And anyway, it wouldn't have been that bad. 667 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,120 Claudia. He doesn't lie to me! 668 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,120 Everybody lies... including your dad. 669 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,320 Not to me. Why would he lie to me? 670 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,440 Because he's ashamed. 671 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:49,200 Why are you doing this? What good does this do anyone? 672 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,720 Tell me what you said at the wedding. Go on. Tell me. 673 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,080 Because you know what? 674 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,600 Despite what Toby thinks, despite what your wife thinks, 675 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,600 it doesn't matter. 676 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,040 If you told a story pissed at a wedding among friends, 677 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,640 no-one's going to tweet about that. 678 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,320 They haven't so far, and they very probably won't. 679 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:11,040 Was that the only time you told that story? I mean, I know you. 680 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,800 You and your stories, you like to repeat them, yeah? 681 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,160 But, hey, if it was only a couple of times among friends, 682 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,480 that's still fine. 683 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,400 No-one will say anything, I'm pretty sure. 684 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,520 Of course, if it was more than that... 685 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,720 I dunno, ten, 20 times... 686 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,240 then that could be a problem. 687 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,360 If it was part of your regular repertoire. 688 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,880 If it was, like, 30 times. 689 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:33,920 When you were drinking 690 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,800 and you didn't always check who was listening, 691 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,120 well, then there's a good chance 692 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,920 that story's going to turn up on Twitter. 693 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,240 If that is the case, Douglas, 694 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,440 I'd really appreciate hearing what you said, right now... 695 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,200 ..from your own lips. 696 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:57,040 Douglas, do you need to tell me anything? 697 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:02,880 He doesn't remember. 698 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,440 Claudia, we're going home. He doesn't remember what he said. 699 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,000 Douglas, do you need to tell me anything? 700 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,600 Oh, for God's sake, it's nothing. It's no big deal. 701 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,320 OK. It's just... 702 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,520 It's not even a story. 703 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,000 It's just a line. What was the line? 704 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,360 Well, sometimes... OK, it's just sometimes, people ask me 705 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,440 when did I first know you were gonna be such a big star? 706 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,440 And what do you say? 707 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:31,400 I suppose, what I say, usually... 708 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:37,080 ..I reply, "When I found you in my boss's hotel room." 709 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,480 It's just a joke. Just a line. 710 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,560 I see. Thank you for clarifying. 711 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,120 What is being implied here, whatever it is, 712 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,640 I would absolutely like to make... Fuck off! 713 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,640 Seriously, just fucking shut up! 714 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,760 Claudia, you OK? 715 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,760 Look, this... this is just one of those things... 716 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,600 I have a question. Do I get to ask questions too? 717 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,960 By all means. Oh. 718 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,280 You just made me self-destruct on Twitter. 719 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,520 No. No? 720 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,080 The thing about self-destruction, 721 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,280 it's not something you can blame on someone else. 722 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,400 The clue's in the wording. Why me? 723 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,160 Why am I the one being punished for this? 724 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,680 He was the one who did it. I did nothing. 725 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,800 You're the one who did it with him. Nothing happened. 726 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,640 None of this has anything to do with me. 727 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,960 Now, look, absolutely untrue allegations are being made here. 728 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,640 Before this thing gets out of control... 729 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,080 I'm not making any allegations. 730 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,120 I'll deny any allegations anyone else makes. 731 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,680 He's just some drunk telling stories, 732 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:53,200 getting cross about his co-star being more popular. 733 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,080 You're fine. Don't worry about it. 734 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,360 You're protecting him? I'm protecting myself. 735 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,400 I don't want that story out. Why would I want that? 736 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,320 You do understand, somewhere inside that twisted little head of yours, 737 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,320 that none of this was my fault. 738 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,680 Whatever he did to you, HE did it! Not me. Him. 739 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,400 I'm not him. I'm not remotely like him. 740 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,400 Oh, sure. I know that. Of course I do. 741 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,720 He's an arsehole. He's a monster. 742 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,520 Madeline, there's no call for any kind of... 743 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,720 Oi, Toby! Newspaper, remember? 744 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:23,280 Anything you say will be taken down and may be used in evidence 745 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:27,560 to destroy your entire fucking existence, so shut it. 746 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,480 Of course you're not like Toby, but that's nothing special. 747 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:34,120 You don't get an award for not being shitty. 748 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,200 The world is full of men not like Toby. I truly believe that. 749 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,960 There are whole armies out there of men not like Toby. 750 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:44,360 But here's the thing. Here's the question. 751 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:46,920 If there are so many of you... 752 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:49,280 ..where are you? 753 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,400 Where the hell are you all the time? 754 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,360 In your case, turning around and walking away 755 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,440 and thinking of jokes you can tell your mates. 756 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,360 If you were raped, phone the police. 757 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,080 If you slept with someone to get a job, 758 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,880 and now you're feeling bad about it, phone your mum or your best friend 759 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,960 or someone who can give a shit long enough to listen. 760 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,960 But first, explain to me why this was my fault. 761 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,040 Who said I slept with him? Oh, stop it. I know you did. 762 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,640 How, because I got the job? You were in his room. 763 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,840 And, so? What did that tell you? You walked away. You left us alone. 764 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,520 How do you know what happened next? I knew what was gonna happen. 765 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,720 I saw it in your face. Saw what in my face? 766 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,080 Anyone would have known it. How? 767 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,760 You looked terrified. 768 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,960 Yeah. Terrified. 769 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:35,000 I was. 770 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,880 I was terrified. 771 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,320 And you saw that I was terrified, 772 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,800 and you just turned your back and you walked away. 773 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:46,480 I knew. 774 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,920 The moment I heard you were telling stories at a wedding, 775 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,640 I just... I knew it was a story about me. 776 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,320 You were making them all laugh... 777 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:58,840 ..at me. 778 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,480 Him I can take. 779 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,120 I hate him, but he's hardly worth the effort. 780 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,400 But you... 781 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,040 You... 782 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,480 You were supposed to be my friend. 783 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,760 I know. I do. But trust me, you'll be fine. 784 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,520 No. Friend is wrong. 785 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,120 Let's be precise. 786 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,200 You know how there's always someone in your life you want to impress? 787 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,520 Someone who lives in your head... 788 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,720 ..and you just want to be more like them. 789 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,560 Everyone does that. Everyone's got someone they want to live up to. 790 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,720 You were mine. 791 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,320 Since I was seven years old... 792 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,600 ..you were mine. 793 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,520 I'm so... No, don't. 794 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:19,360 Don't. 795 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:34,240 Why did you come back? No reason. I'll leave you to it. 796 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:35,560 See you soon, I hope. 797 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,400 I mean, good luck with it all. 798 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,000 Really, best of luck. It's worth it. 799 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,440 Whatever shit you have to wade through, it really is worth it. 800 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,680 Madeline, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing? Jesus. 801 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,560 What the hell are you doing? To be clear... 802 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,680 Fuck! God! ..I'd love the job... 803 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,800 They're fucking ruined! 804 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,640 ..but I'd never sleep with anyone I work with. 805 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,000 Also, I'm out of your league, so stop being ridiculous. 806 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,840 And to clarify... No. No. No. No. Put that away. 807 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,560 I don't believe in women's rights 808 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,480 because I don't believe there's such a thing. 809 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:39,880 I believe there are human rights. 810 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,520 Denying someone's human rights isn't a reason to join a movement, 811 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,240 or go on a march, write a book, carry a placard 812 00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,880 or blog about the sisterhood. 813 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,120 It's an act of war. 814 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,400 It's a reason to retaliate. 815 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,840 So, in every possible sense... 816 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,840 ..don't fuck with me. 817 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,120 There you go, Toby, robust. 818 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,720 INTERVIEWER: We are here at the Hay Festival 819 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,600 talking to Madeline Crow, 820 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,680 who's just taken over as lead presenter on Live At Six 821 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,880 from her former colleague Douglas Bellowes 822 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,200 whom, I'm sure most of us know by now, 823 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,040 resigned when a mobile phone video went viral on social media. 824 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,200 I don't suppose you'd care to comment on any of that. 825 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,120 No, I really wouldn't. 826 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,200 Ah, but it must have been very difficult for you 827 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,520 to hear those words coming out of the mouth of a colleague 828 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,800 who you worked with for years. 829 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,920 People say things. It happens. 830 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,640 Yes, but there have been rumours for a very long time now 831 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,840 about Douglas Bellowes' problematic attitudes. 832 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,320 Your appointment is seen as a victory for women everywhere. 833 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,960 I thought it was a victory for me. Well, it is. 834 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,080 Thank you. And for all women. 835 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,800 Now let's see that video that ended Douglas Bellowes' career. 836 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,000 Some of you may find this offensive. 837 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,400 'What are you doing? 838 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,840 'This is an inappropriate conversation for the workplace, 839 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,000 'and I'm documenting it. 840 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,280 BEALE: 'Douglas, out of here! Out. 841 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:17,680 'Yeah, you too. 842 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,240 'OK, love, you can switch that off right now. 843 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,040 'That's my client out there, and trust me, 844 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,160 'no-one gets a sneaky video of him while I'm around. 845 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:27,200 CLAUDIA: 'Why do you need help with the joke? 846 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,200 'Is he making up a joke for you? Why can't you just tell the truth? 847 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,520 'Because I work in television. 848 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,360 'Because this is a television news studio, 849 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,400 'and the truth needs a little help now and then. 850 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,600 'Because between you and me, 851 00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,880 'our audience wouldn't understand the truth 852 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,200 'even if we had the guts to tell it 853 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,840 'or knew what it was in the first place. 854 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,320 'I've had a word with that bitch who was videoing. 855 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,200 'She's back in her lesbian box. She'll be no trouble. 856 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,960 'Her what box? It's an expression. 857 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,040 'It really isn't. 858 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,760 'Let me know if you need your career saving again. I'm here for you.' 859 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,680 You OK? No. 860 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,200 Yeah. I'm fine. 861 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,960 Erm, do you mind if I do some work? No. 862 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:03,920 Idea for sex comedy set in TV newsroom. 863 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:07,400 Possible title... 864 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:09,800 ..Doug... 865 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,840 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com