1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,043 [♪ gentle music playing] 2 00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:17,626 - [sign clicks] - [people chattering] 3 00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:24,210 [heartbeat thumping] 4 00:00:24,293 --> 00:00:25,376 [light clacks] 5 00:00:29,293 --> 00:00:32,335 [young Hannah] I can't believe we get to finally see a real prom. 6 00:00:32,751 --> 00:00:33,751 You ready? 7 00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:36,043 [♪ mystical music plays] 8 00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:38,001 [young Hannah] Holy shit. 9 00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:41,001 [young Jess] Let's promise each other prom will be our night. 10 00:00:41,085 --> 00:00:43,210 You'll be there with the love of your life, 11 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,418 and the most popular girl in school, the prom queen, 12 00:00:45,501 --> 00:00:46,668 that'll be me, 13 00:00:46,751 --> 00:00:47,960 no matter what it takes. 14 00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:51,835 [♪ upbeat music playing] 15 00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:55,168 [exhales] Prom pact. 16 00:00:55,668 --> 00:00:57,251 - [young Hannah] Prom pact. - [loud slice] 17 00:00:57,543 --> 00:00:59,501 - Oh. Oh! - Oh, my God. 18 00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:01,335 - What do I do?! - Uh, just calm down. 19 00:01:01,418 --> 00:01:04,126 - It's gonna be fine. - I don't know how to calm down! 20 00:01:04,501 --> 00:01:06,710 - [young Jess] It's okay! You're okay! - [young Hannah] I'm okay. 21 00:01:06,793 --> 00:01:07,960 - I'm okay! - [people screaming] 22 00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:09,043 [panting] I'm okay. 23 00:01:09,126 --> 00:01:10,335 [screams] 24 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,543 [♪ "Downtown" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis playing] 25 00:01:12,626 --> 00:01:14,710 ♪ Tip-toeing in the street like ballet ♪ 26 00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:16,918 ♪ Pulled up, moped to the valet ♪ 27 00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:19,085 ♪ Whitewalls on the wheels like mayonnaise ♪ 28 00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:21,126 ♪ Dope, my crew is ill ♪ 29 00:01:21,210 --> 00:01:23,168 ♪ And all we need is two good wheels ♪ 30 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,376 ♪ Got gas in the tank, cash in the bank ♪ 31 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,501 ♪ And a bad little mama with her ass in my face ♪ 32 00:01:27,585 --> 00:01:28,585 ♪ I'ma dope! ♪ 33 00:01:28,668 --> 00:01:30,251 [Jess] I can't believe the dress that I ordered 34 00:01:30,335 --> 00:01:31,376 four months ago never came. 35 00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:34,085 [Hannah] Do you think it's 'cause we made your delivery name Dick Shartioli? 36 00:01:34,168 --> 00:01:37,835 [Jess] Maybe, but that was the only dress Luca thinks I look like a prom queen in. 37 00:01:37,918 --> 00:01:39,168 Okay, are you ready? 38 00:01:39,251 --> 00:01:40,293 [Hannah] I mean, I guess. 39 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:41,626 Oh! [laughs] 40 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,293 - Holy shit! - [Jess laughs] 41 00:01:43,376 --> 00:01:45,626 Oh, Jess, you literally look like a penis. 42 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:48,085 - [Jess] Well, you look like a period. - You're welcome. 43 00:01:48,168 --> 00:01:50,043 Why do they even make dresses like this? 44 00:01:50,126 --> 00:01:51,668 It's not like anyone looks good in them. 45 00:01:51,751 --> 00:01:52,835 [curtain rattles] 46 00:01:53,876 --> 00:01:56,585 [♪ mellow pop music plays in store] 47 00:01:58,376 --> 00:01:59,376 That's fucked up. 48 00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:00,668 [door bell chiming] 49 00:02:00,751 --> 00:02:02,960 So do you wanna do sushi or pizza...? 50 00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:05,710 Oh, I forgot to tell you, Luca actually invited me to lunch. 51 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,335 - [Hannah groans] - We can drop you off though. 52 00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:10,543 I would rather get in a Lyft with Thelma and Louise. 53 00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:11,668 Don't be an asshole. 54 00:02:11,751 --> 00:02:15,043 [♪ dreamy music playing] 55 00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:16,835 ♪ Oooooh, Luca ♪ 56 00:02:16,918 --> 00:02:18,043 [♪ dreamy music distorts] 57 00:02:18,126 --> 00:02:19,210 Hey, Hanky. 58 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,626 I'd offer you a lift, but the Beemer's built for speed, not comfort. 59 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:23,876 Doubt you'd fit. 60 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,376 - [trunk door thuds] - Save me a seat at assembly. 61 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:28,085 See ya! 62 00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:29,501 [tires squeal] 63 00:02:29,585 --> 00:02:31,626 Yeah. Hope his dick falls off! 64 00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:33,918 - [horn blares] - [pedestrian] Fuck you, asshole! 65 00:02:34,001 --> 00:02:37,043 - [tires screeching] - [engine revving] 66 00:02:39,335 --> 00:02:40,710 [♪ techno music plays on speakers] 67 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:45,293 - [switch clicks] - [car roof whirring] 68 00:02:45,376 --> 00:02:46,376 [car roof thuds] 69 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,793 [windows whirring] 70 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:52,210 [clicks stereo] 71 00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:54,043 [♪ sensual music playing on car stereo] 72 00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:56,751 Just wanted to maximize 73 00:02:57,793 --> 00:02:58,960 our alone time together. 74 00:02:59,835 --> 00:03:00,960 Oh. 75 00:03:01,043 --> 00:03:03,293 - [switch clicks] - [chair whirring] 76 00:03:03,376 --> 00:03:05,043 [Jess] [chuckles] Okay. 77 00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:06,835 - [chair whirring] - I, um... 78 00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,418 [Luca moans] 79 00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:09,751 [Jess] I... Oh, oh. 80 00:03:09,835 --> 00:03:10,918 - [chair whirring] - [moaning] 81 00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:12,085 - Oh, okay. [laughs] - Okay. 82 00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:14,293 Um, I just... [laughs] 83 00:03:14,376 --> 00:03:16,543 [♪ sensual music continues] 84 00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:18,585 - What are you doing? - I just don't want our first time 85 00:03:18,668 --> 00:03:20,168 to be at 11:00 a.m. 86 00:03:20,751 --> 00:03:21,918 in a parking lot. 87 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:23,876 [bicycle bell rings] 88 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,168 Just wait till tomorrow night. 89 00:03:25,251 --> 00:03:27,835 We'll have a whole hotel room to ourselves after prom. 90 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,043 - It'll be worth the wait. - I'm not trying 91 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,251 to force myself onto you or whatever. 92 00:03:32,335 --> 00:03:33,626 - Mm! - I just... 93 00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:35,793 I want to be close to you. 94 00:03:35,876 --> 00:03:37,460 I want to be close to you, too. 95 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:40,168 - So? - No, I'm sorry. 96 00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:41,543 [Luca sighs] 97 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,001 So what do you want to do for lunch? 98 00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:49,585 Eh, I gotta go pick up the keg for the pre-prom, so... 99 00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:51,960 Well, you wanna hang out tonight instead? 100 00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:55,168 Can't, FFF. Friday family fondue. 101 00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:57,210 Right. 102 00:03:58,085 --> 00:04:01,085 Well, if you change your mind, I'd love to finally meet your parents. 103 00:04:01,168 --> 00:04:02,210 Hmm. 104 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:05,001 I can take you back to school if you want. 105 00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:08,001 [sighs] Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks. 106 00:04:08,085 --> 00:04:09,085 Alright. 107 00:04:09,168 --> 00:04:12,251 [students chattering] 108 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,918 [keypad clacking] 109 00:04:26,376 --> 00:04:27,751 [door opens] 110 00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:30,251 [♪ chill music playing] 111 00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:33,376 ♪ Same place, different love ♪ 112 00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:36,876 ♪ Only call you up when I'm feeling low ♪ 113 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,543 ♪ Champagne feels better than the real thing ♪ 114 00:04:43,126 --> 00:04:46,085 ♪ Gimme the cash, gimme the bag, gimme the loot ♪ 115 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,751 ♪ I want it all, gimme the love, gimme your heart too ♪ 116 00:04:49,835 --> 00:04:52,626 ♪ No one to blame, catching the flame, just me and you ♪ 117 00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,335 - Hey. - [Hannah gulps] 118 00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:56,460 [coughing] 119 00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:59,376 Um, I just wanted to say thanks for sending me the trig homework. 120 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,126 Kinda just needed to hand something in. 121 00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:02,876 Didn't get a chance to finish it because of my gig. 122 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,710 - [Hannah coughing] - Jesus, are you okay? 123 00:05:05,793 --> 00:05:07,460 [strained voice] Just choking. 124 00:05:08,085 --> 00:05:09,418 [coughing] 125 00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:10,668 [farts, gasps] 126 00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:12,751 - Did you just fart? - Nope. 127 00:05:12,835 --> 00:05:14,126 [sniffs] Thought I heard a fart. 128 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,001 You didn't. [coughs, gasps] 129 00:05:16,085 --> 00:05:19,585 Okay, uh, well, I'll catch you later. 130 00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:23,501 [spits] 131 00:05:25,751 --> 00:05:27,751 [indistinct chatter] 132 00:05:29,668 --> 00:05:30,668 - [Jess] Yo. - [gasps] Yo! 133 00:05:30,751 --> 00:05:31,918 There you are. 134 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,376 [Hannah coughs] 135 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,001 What'd Angie want? 136 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,376 Uh, just... [clears throat] just talking about trig homework. 137 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:39,960 [Hannah clearing throat] 138 00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:41,168 Gross. 139 00:05:41,835 --> 00:05:45,251 Oh fuck! That sucks for her. 140 00:05:45,668 --> 00:05:47,210 - [clears throat] - Where's Greg? 141 00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:48,835 I don't know, he said he had some, like, 142 00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,001 student council thing. 143 00:05:50,085 --> 00:05:51,710 Alright. Come on, folks, let's settle down. 144 00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:55,126 Alright, seniors. I know that some of you are planning to take things 145 00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:57,751 to the next level tomorrow night, sexually. 146 00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,751 - That's a word that we can use here. - [crowd cheering] 147 00:05:59,835 --> 00:06:01,626 We're all adults, or almost. 148 00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:05,293 And so I've prepared a little demo to have you watch 149 00:06:05,376 --> 00:06:07,210 before you do something on your prom night 150 00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:08,668 that you can't take back. 151 00:06:08,751 --> 00:06:10,168 - [laughter] - [student] Eat a dick! 152 00:06:10,251 --> 00:06:11,293 Hey, shut up! 153 00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:14,168 - Shut your holes! - [students laughing] 154 00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:17,418 Teen pregnancy is not a joke! 155 00:06:19,585 --> 00:06:21,710 Unless it happens to somebody funny. 156 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,876 [laughter] 157 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,418 Protection is the key. 158 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:29,126 I'm gonna show every Johnson in this room... 159 00:06:29,668 --> 00:06:30,710 [crowd cheers] 160 00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:34,376 ...that condoms really are one size fits all. 161 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,168 Observe. 162 00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:39,001 Now imagine I am the thing in question. 163 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,293 [cheering, laughter] 164 00:06:43,376 --> 00:06:45,793 - [Jess groans] - Oh, my God. 165 00:06:45,876 --> 00:06:48,168 Yeah, they should've just handed out free condoms and called it a day. 166 00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:50,501 Mm! Spoken like a true sexual expert. 167 00:06:50,585 --> 00:06:53,001 - [Jess] I've only done it once. - [Hannah] That's more than me. 168 00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:56,126 God, I still cannot believe I greened out 169 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:59,376 and missed you meeting Johan, the dreamy exchange student. 170 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:00,626 - [condom screeches] - [Lundy groans] 171 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,835 [Jess] Yeah. [nervous chuckle] 172 00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:04,793 Yeah, it's crazy that he had to go back to Germany, like, immediately. 173 00:07:04,876 --> 00:07:07,126 Like, the very next day. Sucks. 174 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:09,210 [muffled] We have one final announcement. 175 00:07:09,293 --> 00:07:10,626 Have a good time at prom. 176 00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:14,418 And for heaven's sakes, use a condom! 177 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,501 [students applauding] 178 00:07:17,585 --> 00:07:21,168 Hey, I wanted to ask you, would you be okay 179 00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:24,001 with doing pre-prom at Luca's instead of yours? 180 00:07:24,085 --> 00:07:25,710 The soccer team, they just, they decided to throw 181 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,501 a big party last minute, and Luca's the captain, so... 182 00:07:28,585 --> 00:07:29,751 Seriously? 183 00:07:29,835 --> 00:07:31,918 My mom planned, like, a whole thing for us. 184 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,043 I know, 185 00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:35,293 - but he's so excited. - Ugh! 186 00:07:38,085 --> 00:07:39,501 Fine. 187 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,251 As long as we're still getting ready at mine. 188 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,835 Of course. Yes. 189 00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:46,085 Yeah, well, nothing could be worse than that. 190 00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:50,293 [♪ lively music playing] 191 00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:54,001 - Is that... - Greg. 192 00:07:54,501 --> 00:07:57,751 [singing] ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 193 00:07:57,835 --> 00:08:01,335 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 194 00:08:01,418 --> 00:08:04,585 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 195 00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:07,876 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 196 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,335 [♪ upbeat electronic music playing] 197 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:15,418 - Is he prom-posing right now? - Oh, my God. 198 00:08:15,501 --> 00:08:17,043 Please, no. 199 00:08:17,126 --> 00:08:19,710 [♪ upbeat music continues] 200 00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:23,668 ♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 201 00:08:23,751 --> 00:08:27,043 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 202 00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,126 ♪ Please come to prom... ♪ 203 00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,585 Oh, my God, he's getting closer. 204 00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:30,960 - [spotlight clicks] - [Hannah gasps] 205 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,793 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 206 00:08:33,876 --> 00:08:37,376 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 207 00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:40,751 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 208 00:08:40,835 --> 00:08:44,251 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 209 00:08:44,335 --> 00:08:47,168 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 210 00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:49,335 [Jess] They're putting a harness on him. 211 00:08:49,418 --> 00:08:50,710 [Hannah] [groaning] My, God. 212 00:08:51,085 --> 00:08:54,501 ♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 213 00:08:54,585 --> 00:08:57,626 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 214 00:08:57,710 --> 00:09:01,335 ♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 215 00:09:01,418 --> 00:09:04,501 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 216 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:05,585 [Hannah] Oh, God. 217 00:09:05,668 --> 00:09:09,585 Hannah, will you please go to prom with me? 218 00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:12,335 Yeah! Yes, just fucking stop! 219 00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,126 She said yes! 220 00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:19,793 [students cheering and applauding] 221 00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,043 [indistinct chatter] 222 00:09:27,126 --> 00:09:30,418 [Hannah] It's always big public displays of affection with him. 223 00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:32,085 I told him not to do that. 224 00:09:32,168 --> 00:09:34,043 He choreographed bananas for you. 225 00:09:34,126 --> 00:09:36,251 Clearly, it came from a place of love. 226 00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:38,626 I've been dating Luca for four months, and I still can't even get him 227 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:39,918 to introduce me to his parents. 228 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,335 [Hannah] Consider yourself lucky. 229 00:09:41,418 --> 00:09:43,543 [Jess] Can't believe you two are going to different colleges. 230 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,626 Do you remember when you found out that he was sleeping 231 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:46,960 with a lock of your hair? 232 00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,460 Dateline vibes. 233 00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:51,460 Yeah. I think some space will be a good thing. 234 00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:52,543 [locker door thuds] 235 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:53,918 [Jess] No one had their phones out. 236 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,585 [Hannah] You literally had your phone out. 237 00:09:55,668 --> 00:09:57,793 You wanna hang out tonight? Vodka Heather's throwing a party. 238 00:09:57,876 --> 00:10:00,126 Oh, God, I hope I'm the only Hannah in my program. 239 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,126 I do not want to be saddled with a nickname like that 240 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,460 my first year of college. 241 00:10:03,543 --> 00:10:04,960 Are you kidding me? She loves it. 242 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,460 [Hannah] That's actually surprisingly well done. 243 00:10:07,543 --> 00:10:09,168 She's got a really smooth lower back. 244 00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:10,376 [Jess] Mm-hmm. 245 00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:12,251 As much as I would love to see that in person, 246 00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:15,376 Greg told me to come over tonight for a "surprise." 247 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,626 I'm guessing it's a shared burial plot. 248 00:10:17,876 --> 00:10:19,210 We can give you a ride home, though. 249 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:20,585 [car horn honks] 250 00:10:20,835 --> 00:10:22,126 [Jess] Why's your brother here? 251 00:10:22,835 --> 00:10:24,251 [♪ "Bad Attitude" by Bella Rios playing] 252 00:10:24,335 --> 00:10:26,668 ♪ Don't you know you make me crazy ♪ 253 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,918 ♪ Pull my hair... ♪ 254 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:31,710 I can't believe this is happening right now. 255 00:10:32,043 --> 00:10:35,001 I know. I've known you since we were, like, five. 256 00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:38,835 Are you thinking about five-year-old me while I'm inside of you right now? 257 00:10:38,918 --> 00:10:40,543 - [Jess laughs] - That's fucked up. That's... 258 00:10:40,626 --> 00:10:41,793 You're sick. 259 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:44,501 - Does sex always have this much talking? - Yeah. 260 00:10:44,585 --> 00:10:47,168 Yeah, it does when you're nervous because you like someone. 261 00:10:48,543 --> 00:10:49,626 We can't tell Hannah. 262 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,710 Oh, my God, no. Mum's the word. 263 00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:53,835 Oh, great, now I'm thinking about your mom. 264 00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:55,043 - [Jacob groans] - [Jess gasps] 265 00:10:55,126 --> 00:10:56,876 [Jacob] No, but imagine I came when you said that. 266 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,793 [both laugh] 267 00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,293 - [Jess] That would be so weird. - [Jacob] That would be really fucked up. 268 00:11:01,376 --> 00:11:02,960 - [Jess] I know. - [Jacob] That would be worse than, 269 00:11:03,043 --> 00:11:04,751 like, you thinking about five-year-old me. 270 00:11:04,835 --> 00:11:08,543 - [both continue chatting indistinctly] - [Hannah snoring] 271 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,085 - [car door shuts] - Hi. 272 00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:11,168 Hi. 273 00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:13,960 [Hannah] Think your aux cord is busted. 274 00:11:14,043 --> 00:11:16,335 Oh, uh, there's some CDs in the glove box if you want. 275 00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:17,543 Eh, whatever. 276 00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:20,626 Your music taste is all women who sound like sad ghosts anyways. 277 00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:22,835 That's... fair. 278 00:11:23,418 --> 00:11:25,918 - So when did you get back? - Uh, yesterday. 279 00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:28,668 Yeah, I, uh, actually, I got a job at the Italian place 280 00:11:28,751 --> 00:11:30,585 near our house, so I'll be here till August. 281 00:11:31,126 --> 00:11:32,793 - Oh. - Felt like the right fit 282 00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:35,335 because I would literally kill Hannah for a free chicken parm. 283 00:11:35,418 --> 00:11:36,751 Same. [laughs] 284 00:11:37,543 --> 00:11:40,085 Hey, um, do you guys wanna go to a show tonight? 285 00:11:40,168 --> 00:11:42,835 There's this great band that's playing a warehouse near Rutgers Campus. 286 00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,126 Should be pretty cool. 287 00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:46,418 - Uh, I... - I can't, I'm hanging with Greg. 288 00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:49,460 And Jess is probably busy jerking it to a pic of Luca. 289 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,335 - Who's Luca? - Her chodey boyfriend. 290 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,543 - Oh. - [engine starts] 291 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,210 Get your feet down. 292 00:11:57,293 --> 00:11:58,626 [foot thuds] 293 00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:00,126 [Jacob] You were adopted. 294 00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,751 [Hannah] Yeah, I know. 295 00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:04,585 ♪♪ 296 00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:14,376 [♪ song continues playing in car] 297 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:15,668 [Hannah] Love you. 298 00:12:15,751 --> 00:12:16,751 [Jess] Love you. 299 00:12:17,543 --> 00:12:18,626 Get home safe! 300 00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,210 My door's right there. 301 00:12:21,668 --> 00:12:22,918 Yeah, but you could trip. 302 00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:25,543 Let's go! I gotta rock a fat piss. 303 00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:28,043 - Why didn't you go at the school? - I did. 304 00:12:28,918 --> 00:12:30,376 - What? - Gotta go again. 305 00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:31,960 [Jacob] What is the matter with you? 306 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,876 [♪ mellow music playing] 307 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,168 [insects chirring] 308 00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:43,501 [doorbell chimes] 309 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,085 Hi, Hannah. Come in, come in. 310 00:12:47,085 --> 00:12:49,293 I'm just teaching Lucy a new trick. 311 00:12:49,376 --> 00:12:50,960 Come on, you don't wanna miss this. 312 00:12:51,043 --> 00:12:54,460 Lucy, what would you like for dinner? 313 00:12:54,543 --> 00:12:57,335 [automated voice] Duck. Rice. Please. 314 00:12:57,418 --> 00:12:59,460 [Hannah] Wow, she's hitting all her food groups. 315 00:12:59,543 --> 00:13:00,710 She's so advanced. 316 00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:01,876 I'd send her to university, 317 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,918 but I'm so scared of the fraternity parties. 318 00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:06,460 She's so smart, she doesn't even need a treat. 319 00:13:06,543 --> 00:13:09,751 Her reward is communicating with Mommy. 320 00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:11,960 Awesome. 321 00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:14,960 I'm gonna check on dinner. I'm cooking Ethiopian food tonight. 322 00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,168 - Greg should be down in a second. - Okay. 323 00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:19,668 - [buttons clacking] - [automated voice] Duck. Rice. Please. 324 00:13:19,751 --> 00:13:22,710 Please. Kill. Me. 325 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,293 Why would they even give you those buttons as an option? 326 00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:28,585 There's my Hannie Bananie. 327 00:13:28,668 --> 00:13:31,001 Come upstairs, I have something I wanna show you. 328 00:13:31,335 --> 00:13:34,418 - [buttons clacking] - [automated voice] Please. Kill. Mommy. 329 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,293 Kill. Mommy. 330 00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:38,293 Kill. Please. 331 00:13:38,376 --> 00:13:40,126 Please. Please. Please. 332 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,335 [♪ upbeat music plays on computer] 333 00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:43,418 [chuckles] 334 00:13:47,335 --> 00:13:49,001 Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel. 335 00:13:49,085 --> 00:13:50,126 - So today... - [computer chimes] 336 00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:53,335 ...I have a super exciting makeup tutorial... 337 00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:55,876 [♪ "Performative" by Subsonic Eye playing] 338 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,376 [keyboard clacking] 339 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:04,085 ♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 340 00:14:04,168 --> 00:14:07,460 ♪ If I'm working, dying for who and what ♪ 341 00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:09,876 ♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 342 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,960 ♪ If I'm sleeping, living for who and... ♪ 343 00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,585 [keys jingling] 344 00:14:14,626 --> 00:14:16,626 So, what musical did you wanna watch? 345 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:18,918 And before you say it, I know we can't watch Phantom 346 00:14:19,001 --> 00:14:20,251 'cause it's "too scary." 347 00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:26,626 You're not gonna propose, are you? 348 00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:28,085 - What if I did? - You're not. 349 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,876 No! N-no. 350 00:14:30,668 --> 00:14:32,626 I wanted to take a smaller step first. 351 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:36,251 [♪ curious music playing] 352 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,168 [Greg sighs] 353 00:14:43,543 --> 00:14:44,960 This is from Penn State. 354 00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,251 Yes. 355 00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:48,501 So why's it addressed to you? You're going to Stanford. 356 00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:54,168 You transferred. 357 00:14:54,251 --> 00:14:55,751 I transferred! 358 00:14:55,835 --> 00:14:57,168 [♪ dramatic sting] 359 00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:59,793 Now we don't have to worry about expensive flights 360 00:14:59,876 --> 00:15:02,043 or missing birthdays or anything. 361 00:15:02,126 --> 00:15:04,293 I even weaseled my way into the same dorm, 362 00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:06,001 so we never have to be apart. 363 00:15:06,418 --> 00:15:10,210 Isn't it so great? We're gonna be together forever. 364 00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,335 [♪ dramatic sting] 365 00:15:11,418 --> 00:15:13,460 [distorted voice] Together forever. 366 00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:15,710 Forever. 367 00:15:16,835 --> 00:15:17,918 Forever. 368 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,376 I have to go. 369 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,460 [Greg] [normal voice] What? 370 00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:22,793 Hannah! 371 00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:24,418 [♪ dramatic music playing] 372 00:15:24,501 --> 00:15:25,751 Hannah! 373 00:15:25,835 --> 00:15:26,960 [Lucy panting, barks] 374 00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,043 [Hannah groans] 375 00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:31,960 Lucy! 376 00:15:33,668 --> 00:15:36,501 [♪ "Really OK on My Own" by Coach Party playing in car] 377 00:15:38,251 --> 00:15:42,418 ♪ I wanna stay here and be really okay on my own ♪ 378 00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:45,460 ♪ Really okay on my own, don't wanna be alone ♪ 379 00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,793 Okay. You can do this. 380 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,335 They're gonna love you. 381 00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:52,085 ♪ Don't wanna be... ♪ 382 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,751 [car door chimes, music stops] 383 00:15:55,335 --> 00:15:56,710 - [car door thuds] - [gate creaks] 384 00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:04,001 [♪ sensual music plays on speakers] 385 00:16:04,085 --> 00:16:05,918 - Luca? - [Luca] Jess?! 386 00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:07,585 - Jesus! - [Luca scoffs] 387 00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,210 I thought you had a family dinner? 388 00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:12,418 I do! I mean, I did. 389 00:16:12,793 --> 00:16:15,251 I yelled at my mom for buying ham instead of prosciutto, 390 00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:16,876 so my parents went out without me. 391 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,293 How could you do this to me? 392 00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:20,751 Look, it's not what it looks like. I barely know this girl. 393 00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:22,085 Uh, you texted me. 394 00:16:22,168 --> 00:16:23,460 Janine, I swear to God. 395 00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:29,460 [Janine] I'm so sorry, I didn't know he was with someone. 396 00:16:29,543 --> 00:16:32,460 - [Luca] Siri, pause "Sexy Time" playlist. - [♪ music stops] 397 00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:33,710 Your text was a lie? 398 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:34,876 Not fully. 399 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,876 I bet my mom would think that you have great taste 400 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,335 if she knew who you were. 401 00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,126 You're an asshole. 402 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,293 [Luca] Jess. 403 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,085 Come on, Jess! 404 00:16:45,501 --> 00:16:47,210 Yo, Janine, [scoffs] are you still here? 405 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,293 Could we DoorDash some 'scuitto? 406 00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:51,335 [water splashes] 407 00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:52,835 Luca cheated on me! 408 00:16:52,918 --> 00:16:55,418 No. Greg transferred to Penn State. 409 00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:56,626 What?! 410 00:16:56,710 --> 00:16:57,918 Meet at my house now! 411 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,251 How could he fucking do this to me? 412 00:17:00,335 --> 00:17:02,168 There goes my chance at being prom queen. 413 00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:04,293 He couldn't wait one night to get his dick wet? 414 00:17:04,376 --> 00:17:06,210 I bought handcuffs, Hannah. Handcuffs! 415 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,960 And yeah, I bought them from the Halloween store 416 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,626 because the sex store kinda scares me, but I was gonna Google how to use them 417 00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:11,835 and blow his fucking mind. 418 00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:13,335 Like, I was gonna use them on my ankles. 419 00:17:13,418 --> 00:17:14,543 That's crazy. 420 00:17:14,626 --> 00:17:16,085 Ugh! You know what my name is in his phone? 421 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,668 It's "Jess Harrison Lee High." 422 00:17:17,751 --> 00:17:19,626 We go to the same fucking school. 423 00:17:19,710 --> 00:17:21,293 Yeah, that's crazy. 424 00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,501 Hannah, you've said the same thing, like, five times. 425 00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:27,168 Look, I know that Greg's transferring was a shock, 426 00:17:27,251 --> 00:17:28,668 but isn't it a good thing? 427 00:17:28,751 --> 00:17:30,501 Especially considering the alternative? 428 00:17:30,918 --> 00:17:31,918 I'm a lesbian. 429 00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:33,876 I've wanted to tell you forever, 430 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,418 but I could never get you at the right time, 431 00:17:35,501 --> 00:17:37,210 and I wasn't entirely sure 432 00:17:37,293 --> 00:17:39,876 'cause I hadn't kissed a girl before, so how could I know? 433 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,043 But then two weeks into dating, 434 00:17:42,126 --> 00:17:43,918 Greg went down on me for the first time, 435 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,001 and I had to think of Rachel Weisz in The Mummy to cum. 436 00:17:47,085 --> 00:17:50,335 And then it was obvious, but I wasn't ready for my whole life 437 00:17:50,418 --> 00:17:52,043 to be turned upside down, 438 00:17:52,126 --> 00:17:55,585 so I figured I'd go to college and get a septum ring, 439 00:17:55,668 --> 00:17:57,668 and it'd sort of sort itself out, 440 00:17:57,751 --> 00:18:01,335 but then Greg wanted to wear my skin as a coat, 441 00:18:01,418 --> 00:18:04,793 and now I can't live one more second pretending 442 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,918 that I'm not obsessed with girls. 443 00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:08,668 [chuckles] 444 00:18:08,751 --> 00:18:09,751 Hannah. 445 00:18:10,085 --> 00:18:12,293 [♪ gentle music playing] 446 00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:14,126 Hannah, I know you're gay. 447 00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:16,293 - What? - I'm your best friend. 448 00:18:16,835 --> 00:18:19,335 And also, it's not exactly hard to tell. 449 00:18:19,418 --> 00:18:20,418 What the...? 450 00:18:20,501 --> 00:18:23,751 In fourth grade, you bought Mrs. Workowski a bottle of perfume 451 00:18:23,835 --> 00:18:25,376 and then when her husband came for Career Day, 452 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:26,501 you called him a little bitch. 453 00:18:26,585 --> 00:18:28,001 He was a little bitch. 454 00:18:28,085 --> 00:18:31,085 - He was a firefighter. - He was a bitchy firefighter. 455 00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:34,710 How come you didn't say anything? 456 00:18:35,168 --> 00:18:36,585 It wasn't my place. 457 00:18:36,668 --> 00:18:38,501 I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. 458 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,960 Just like I didn't tell you I was Black until I was eight. 459 00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:43,626 And also, when you started dating Greg, I thought maybe you were bi. 460 00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:44,918 No. 461 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:46,460 I was just scared. 462 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:50,585 So scared, I wasted 10 months of my life giving hand jobs 463 00:18:50,668 --> 00:18:52,793 to a guy with a Glee bumper sticker. 464 00:18:52,876 --> 00:18:53,876 Oh, my God. 465 00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:56,085 I just ran out. 466 00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:59,626 How the fuck am I gonna look him in the eye tomorrow? 467 00:19:01,376 --> 00:19:02,585 Tomorrow. 468 00:19:02,668 --> 00:19:04,710 Fuck! Tomorrow is prom and we don't have dates! 469 00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,376 Dope! The perfect excuse not to go! 470 00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:09,501 Uh, we are absolutely going. 471 00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:12,960 Do you know how much of my college fund I spent on two dresses? 472 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:14,335 Lashes? Shoes? 473 00:19:14,418 --> 00:19:16,460 I got a Brazilian, Hannah. I don't even know what that is. 474 00:19:16,543 --> 00:19:18,001 Did you know you have hair on your asshole? 475 00:19:18,085 --> 00:19:19,793 It is fucked up down there! Okay? 476 00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:21,960 We are going to prom, and we're getting new dates tonight. 477 00:19:22,043 --> 00:19:24,126 It is 9:00 p.m., Jessica. 478 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,126 - Prom pact. - Stop. 479 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:28,001 Prom pact. 480 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,585 Oh, you wanna compare scars? 481 00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:34,376 'Cause this landed me in 10 months of therapy 482 00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:37,210 after my mom thought I tried to publicly commit suicide. 483 00:19:37,293 --> 00:19:41,043 We promised that no matter what, this would be our night. 484 00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,293 [both squealing] 485 00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:44,251 I can't wait to go to prom with my boyfriend. 486 00:19:44,335 --> 00:19:46,376 If I'm not dating someone by senior year, 487 00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:48,543 I'm gonna drink bleach and blast social media 488 00:19:48,626 --> 00:19:50,918 so I can get a date with Taylor Lautner. 489 00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:53,335 Fuck, I wish I thought of that. 490 00:19:53,418 --> 00:19:56,251 That's just one part of the perfect prom night. 491 00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,710 We only have one shot at senior prom. One. And we are this close. 492 00:19:59,793 --> 00:20:01,710 I mean, are you really gonna let some douchebag 493 00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:03,668 who sprays fucking Paco Rabanne on his balls 494 00:20:03,751 --> 00:20:05,126 screw up my moment in the spotlight? 495 00:20:05,210 --> 00:20:06,543 I don't know what you want me to do. 496 00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:08,168 I don't even know what I would say to Greg. 497 00:20:08,251 --> 00:20:10,210 You are going to prom with the love of your life. 498 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,543 Or as close as we can get. We're gonna find you a girl. 499 00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:14,668 I've never even flirted with a girl. 500 00:20:14,751 --> 00:20:16,210 I'm just supposed to ask one to prom? 501 00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:18,251 I get why prom with a dude doesn't seem so exciting. 502 00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:20,460 But what about prom with the girl of your dreams 503 00:20:20,543 --> 00:20:22,626 who you get to maybe finger in the limo later? 504 00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:25,585 [chalk scratching] 505 00:20:26,876 --> 00:20:28,335 That's your finger. 506 00:20:29,085 --> 00:20:30,751 I do want to finger the girl of my dreams. 507 00:20:32,668 --> 00:20:34,543 He has to be hot. Or at least hotter than Luca. 508 00:20:34,626 --> 00:20:36,460 Anything less is proof I'm ugly. 509 00:20:36,543 --> 00:20:40,460 [mouthful] Oh, my God, what about Eric Stevens? 510 00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:42,001 - [Jess] Who? - That kid who brought a can 511 00:20:42,085 --> 00:20:43,418 of Whiskas for lunch in ninth grade. 512 00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:45,168 You mean Cat Stevens? 513 00:20:45,251 --> 00:20:46,960 [gasps] Oh, my God! Amar. 514 00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:49,335 His parents have a private jet, and just broke up with Lisa. 515 00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:51,626 Okay, yes. Calling him now. 516 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:52,793 Genius. 517 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:54,543 [line ringing] 518 00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:56,793 I can't believe they used the one where I sneezed. 519 00:20:56,876 --> 00:21:00,085 Amar. I just was wondering who you're going to prom with. 520 00:21:00,168 --> 00:21:02,626 Yeah, no, that's great. I totally get it. 521 00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:05,168 I'm so glad you two worked it out because I heard that... 522 00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:06,960 I-I heard a rumor that she's cheating on you. 523 00:21:07,043 --> 00:21:08,293 [Hannah gasps] 524 00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:09,418 No, you didn't. 525 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:11,251 - I did. - Yeah, you fucking did. 526 00:21:11,335 --> 00:21:12,668 [both laugh] 527 00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,460 Okay. Ooh! Angie Adams. 528 00:21:15,543 --> 00:21:17,126 - She's perfect. - [Hannah] Are you kidding me? 529 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:19,335 I would die to come out at prom with someone as cool as her. 530 00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:22,501 Look, I might as well DM Sarah Paulson and ask her to prom. 531 00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:24,710 - Hannah. - It would never happen. 532 00:21:24,793 --> 00:21:25,960 [sighs] Fine. 533 00:21:27,001 --> 00:21:28,001 [cellphone buzzes] 534 00:21:32,418 --> 00:21:33,626 [Hannah] Take this away from me. 535 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,501 Time to text Melissa Kelly. 536 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:36,918 - Okay, give it back. - Mm. 537 00:21:40,501 --> 00:21:41,960 "Hey. 538 00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:46,168 "Do you wanna go to prom? 539 00:21:46,585 --> 00:21:48,376 With me?" 540 00:21:49,835 --> 00:21:50,876 - Mm, mm! - What? What? 541 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,085 She's typing. 542 00:21:54,126 --> 00:21:55,335 - [Jess] Come on! - [Hannah] No! 543 00:21:55,418 --> 00:21:56,710 That is a lie! 544 00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:59,335 She hit, like, 42 home runs this year. 545 00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,710 [Jess] God. 546 00:22:01,710 --> 00:22:02,793 - [Jess groans] - Bitch. 547 00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:04,960 - Hey. - [Hannah groans] 548 00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:07,418 [Hannah sighs] 549 00:22:10,085 --> 00:22:11,418 [♪ pop music playing on phone] 550 00:22:11,501 --> 00:22:14,043 If we can't find anyone in high school, let's go to college. 551 00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:17,918 Scarlet Knights forever! I'm never gonna die! Woo! 552 00:22:18,376 --> 00:22:20,960 [♪ muffled techno music playing in car] 553 00:22:26,126 --> 00:22:28,126 [♪ music blasts from car] 554 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:35,168 [♪ music gets muffled again] 555 00:22:35,251 --> 00:22:36,335 [Hannah] Thank you! 556 00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:42,210 [♪ muffled techno music plays in house] 557 00:22:42,293 --> 00:22:44,668 [indistinct chatter] 558 00:22:45,751 --> 00:22:48,210 [Jess] We get in, we ask someone, we get out. 559 00:22:48,293 --> 00:22:49,585 [Hannah] I'm having second thoughts. 560 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:51,001 Maybe we should just go home. 561 00:22:51,085 --> 00:22:52,501 - I kinda want to go home. - It's too late. 562 00:22:52,585 --> 00:22:54,043 - Okay. - [knocking on door] 563 00:22:55,335 --> 00:22:57,001 [Jess] Vodka Heather! 564 00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,085 Jess. 565 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,418 - What the fuck is up? - [Jess chuckles] 566 00:23:00,501 --> 00:23:02,501 Damn, I haven't seen you since summer camp. 567 00:23:02,585 --> 00:23:03,918 I didn't know you were hot now. 568 00:23:04,001 --> 00:23:06,168 Oh, thank you. [laughs] 569 00:23:06,251 --> 00:23:07,710 Um, yeah, no, anyway, 570 00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:10,126 thanks, uh... thank you for sending the address by the way. 571 00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:12,418 We've had kind of, like, a crazy night 572 00:23:12,501 --> 00:23:13,751 - like you wouldn't believe. - Crazy. 573 00:23:13,835 --> 00:23:15,168 Yeah, whatever. Take these. 574 00:23:15,251 --> 00:23:16,251 [Jess] Oh. 575 00:23:16,751 --> 00:23:18,168 [Heather] In it goes, yeah. Bottoms up. 576 00:23:18,251 --> 00:23:19,626 - [Jess] Mm-hmm! - And get in here, 577 00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:21,960 the cops are already on my ass for pissing on the neighbor's lawn. 578 00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:23,168 [Hannah groans] 579 00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:26,585 Serve and protect this ass, you fucking cunts! 580 00:23:26,668 --> 00:23:30,418 [♪ techno music playing on speakers] 581 00:23:30,501 --> 00:23:34,043 So, um, are there any single... [coughs] guys? 582 00:23:34,710 --> 00:23:35,710 Let's just leave. 583 00:23:35,793 --> 00:23:37,293 [coughs] Hey, Hannah! 584 00:23:37,376 --> 00:23:39,376 - I don't know what to do, Jess. - Relax. 585 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,376 How do you even flirt with a lesbian? 586 00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:43,668 Uh, well, how would you want someone to flirt with you? 587 00:23:43,751 --> 00:23:45,585 I don't know, by, like, uh, 588 00:23:45,668 --> 00:23:48,876 giving me a-a bunch of different flowers and they all, like, 589 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,043 represent the different qualities about me. 590 00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:53,335 Wow, you are gay. 591 00:23:53,418 --> 00:23:55,168 - You're not helping. - Okay, okay. 592 00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:57,001 Just, just tell them that they smell nice. 593 00:23:57,085 --> 00:23:59,251 - Everyone wants to hear that. - Okay, yeah. Good call. 594 00:23:59,335 --> 00:24:00,335 - Yeah? - Okay. 595 00:24:00,418 --> 00:24:01,418 [Jess] Okay. 596 00:24:02,543 --> 00:24:04,835 I am gonna go hit on Timothée Chalamet. 597 00:24:04,918 --> 00:24:07,793 You are gonna find a hot lesbian and sweep her off her feet. 598 00:24:07,876 --> 00:24:09,251 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - Yeah? Okay? 599 00:24:09,335 --> 00:24:10,418 - Yep. - Alright. You ready? 600 00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:11,501 I guess. 601 00:24:11,585 --> 00:24:13,043 - Meet you on the other side. - Okay. 602 00:24:13,335 --> 00:24:14,418 [Jess] Okay. 603 00:24:14,501 --> 00:24:18,085 [♪ hip-hop music playing] 604 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,043 How do I know who's gay? 605 00:24:25,460 --> 00:24:27,543 - [tires screech] - [car rumbling] 606 00:24:29,876 --> 00:24:31,668 - [brakes squeal] - [Greg groaning] 607 00:24:33,043 --> 00:24:35,210 [crying, muttering] 608 00:24:37,293 --> 00:24:38,960 [groaning, crying] 609 00:24:39,043 --> 00:24:42,126 [cellphone buzzing] 610 00:24:44,751 --> 00:24:46,251 - Hi, Mommy. - Did you find her? 611 00:24:47,126 --> 00:24:49,585 No, she wo... she won't pick up her phone. 612 00:24:49,668 --> 00:24:51,210 I'm talking about Lucy! 613 00:24:51,293 --> 00:24:53,376 I'm worried sick! That's your sister! 614 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,043 I don't care about the damn dog! 615 00:24:55,626 --> 00:24:57,293 I'm chasing the love of my life. 616 00:24:58,668 --> 00:25:00,710 - Oh, God. - [Greg crying] 617 00:25:01,585 --> 00:25:03,126 Hannah, please. 618 00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:04,918 I know I come on strong, 619 00:25:05,001 --> 00:25:07,918 but it's just because of the amount of love I have in my heart. 620 00:25:08,001 --> 00:25:09,751 [Jacob] Hey, she's not here. 621 00:25:09,835 --> 00:25:11,626 Last I heard, she was with you. I... 622 00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:14,751 [Greg crying, muttering] 623 00:25:14,835 --> 00:25:16,251 - Okay. - She's-She's not with me. 624 00:25:16,335 --> 00:25:18,293 - She's not. - [Jacob] Are you okay? 625 00:25:18,376 --> 00:25:19,876 [sniffles] I don't know. 626 00:25:20,376 --> 00:25:22,876 I'm probably pretty dehydrated because... 627 00:25:23,668 --> 00:25:25,210 I've been crying a lot. 628 00:25:25,751 --> 00:25:27,168 - A lot. - Okay, okay, okay. 629 00:25:27,251 --> 00:25:29,793 Um, you stay here, okay? 630 00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:31,168 I'm gonna get you some water. Okay? 631 00:25:31,251 --> 00:25:32,335 - Okay. - Okay. 632 00:25:32,418 --> 00:25:34,085 - [Greg crying] - You gonna be okay? 633 00:25:34,168 --> 00:25:35,376 - Uh, yeah. - You sure? 634 00:25:35,460 --> 00:25:36,585 - Yeah. [cries] - Okay. 635 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:37,710 [sobbing] 636 00:25:37,793 --> 00:25:39,168 Think happy thoughts. 637 00:25:39,251 --> 00:25:41,376 No! 638 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,585 [Greg screams] 639 00:25:45,668 --> 00:25:47,835 [♪ "Monacillo" by Argonaut & Wasp playing] 640 00:25:47,918 --> 00:25:49,585 ♪ Like a Wall Street widow ♪ 641 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,043 That's a good one. 642 00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:53,751 You an Angel Olsen fan? 643 00:25:56,210 --> 00:25:58,126 Are you an Angel Olsen fan? 644 00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:01,501 Oh. 645 00:26:01,585 --> 00:26:04,501 Oh, oh, oh, oh, si, si. Um... 646 00:26:12,751 --> 00:26:15,876 - Hmm. - Um, so, yeah, so I know some basics. 647 00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:19,376 Giancarlo. [chuckles] 648 00:26:19,460 --> 00:26:21,168 I like that. [chuckles] 649 00:26:31,543 --> 00:26:32,543 Totally. 650 00:26:33,168 --> 00:26:34,543 Hey, do you want to get a drink? 651 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:38,418 ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ 652 00:26:38,501 --> 00:26:41,793 I got this. I got this. 653 00:26:41,876 --> 00:26:43,835 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 654 00:26:43,918 --> 00:26:44,918 Hey. 655 00:26:46,251 --> 00:26:47,418 What's up? 656 00:26:48,376 --> 00:26:51,626 ♪ I take no shit from no one, robbed two banks in Puerto Rico ♪ 657 00:26:51,710 --> 00:26:52,835 Oh. 658 00:26:54,293 --> 00:26:57,001 After you. After you. [chuckles] 659 00:26:57,085 --> 00:26:58,168 After me. 660 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,543 Awesome party, you guys. Really killer. 661 00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:05,460 Hi. Hi. 662 00:27:09,376 --> 00:27:10,793 Hey. How's it... 663 00:27:10,876 --> 00:27:12,876 ♪ Yes, sir, been misbehaving ♪ 664 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,376 - Dammit. - ♪ It's the law ♪ 665 00:27:18,335 --> 00:27:21,626 ♪ Oh, when the day's been calling ♪ 666 00:27:21,710 --> 00:27:24,626 - ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ - Um... 667 00:27:24,710 --> 00:27:26,501 Uh, you smell really good. 668 00:27:27,793 --> 00:27:30,043 Oh, sweetheart. [soft laugh] I'm a twink. 669 00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:32,293 - Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. - Don't worry about it. 670 00:27:32,376 --> 00:27:34,918 - Oh, my God. - Now I know I look good. 671 00:27:35,001 --> 00:27:36,585 [both chuckle] 672 00:27:36,668 --> 00:27:37,835 I'm so sorry. 673 00:27:37,918 --> 00:27:40,793 [indistinct chatter, yelling] 674 00:27:40,876 --> 00:27:44,335 ♪ Waking in an old cellblock ♪ 675 00:27:44,418 --> 00:27:46,251 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 676 00:27:46,335 --> 00:27:50,543 ♪ You won't find me ♪ 677 00:27:53,251 --> 00:27:54,501 [Hannah] Oh, I'm sorry. 678 00:27:54,585 --> 00:27:56,126 - Get in here. - No, no, no, it's okay. 679 00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:58,210 - I really don't... - Get the fuck in here. 680 00:27:59,126 --> 00:28:00,335 Move. 681 00:28:04,626 --> 00:28:05,793 Mm. 682 00:28:06,210 --> 00:28:08,293 You look stressed. You want some molly? 683 00:28:08,376 --> 00:28:11,376 Actually, I'm trying to cut back. But thank you. 684 00:28:12,751 --> 00:28:14,001 [pill crunching] 685 00:28:14,085 --> 00:28:15,210 I'm gonna go find Jess. 686 00:28:15,293 --> 00:28:17,043 - [hand slaps] - You need to get high. 687 00:28:17,668 --> 00:28:18,918 - What? - Here. 688 00:28:24,043 --> 00:28:26,126 You know, I used to be just like you. 689 00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:30,043 Sad, no confidence, wetting the bed all the time. 690 00:28:30,126 --> 00:28:31,210 I don't wet the bed. 691 00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:32,418 Until I became Vodka Heather. 692 00:28:32,835 --> 00:28:34,335 Vodka Heather can do anything. 693 00:28:34,585 --> 00:28:35,585 Watch this. 694 00:28:35,668 --> 00:28:37,835 - [skin sizzling] - Whoa! Don't do that! 695 00:28:38,335 --> 00:28:39,626 Kiss each other. 696 00:28:41,210 --> 00:28:43,710 - See? - Yeah, I don't think I want what you have. 697 00:28:43,793 --> 00:28:45,668 You do. It's all about confidence. 698 00:28:45,751 --> 00:28:48,210 Substance-induced confidence. 699 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:51,501 Don't you think talking to girls would be a lot easier if you were confident? 700 00:28:55,126 --> 00:28:56,251 - Fuck it. - [Heather chuckles] 701 00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:58,543 That's the spirit. Gimme your keys. 702 00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:04,543 [sniffs] 703 00:29:06,335 --> 00:29:08,001 - [keys jingling] - Get down here. Come on. 704 00:29:08,085 --> 00:29:11,543 - [♪ thumping bass music playing] - [muffled guests chattering] 705 00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:14,335 [chuckles] Open wide. 706 00:29:15,835 --> 00:29:17,043 [Hannah sniffs] 707 00:29:17,126 --> 00:29:18,168 [keys rattling] 708 00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:20,626 So? How do you feel? 709 00:29:20,876 --> 00:29:21,918 [♪ dramatic sting] 710 00:29:22,001 --> 00:29:23,335 Gay as hell. 711 00:29:23,418 --> 00:29:25,251 So, do you study film with Heather? 712 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:27,960 [Jess] Mm. 713 00:29:33,918 --> 00:29:35,168 Yeah, same. 714 00:29:49,460 --> 00:29:50,460 Yeah. 715 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,751 Yeah. Hey, do you wanna go somewhere else to talk? 716 00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:56,043 - Absolutely. - Okay. 717 00:29:56,876 --> 00:29:59,043 [Heather] It's time. Go get 'em, tiger. 718 00:29:59,126 --> 00:30:01,335 Wait, how do I know who's gay? 719 00:30:01,751 --> 00:30:04,460 Uh, it's a first-year college party. 720 00:30:04,876 --> 00:30:06,085 Everyone's gay. 721 00:30:07,043 --> 00:30:08,043 Okay. 722 00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:09,626 [exhales sharply] 723 00:30:10,376 --> 00:30:13,668 - ♪ Yeah! ♪ - ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 724 00:30:13,751 --> 00:30:14,918 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪ 725 00:30:15,001 --> 00:30:17,376 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 726 00:30:17,460 --> 00:30:18,460 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 727 00:30:18,543 --> 00:30:21,043 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 728 00:30:21,126 --> 00:30:26,251 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 729 00:30:27,543 --> 00:30:31,418 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 730 00:30:31,501 --> 00:30:32,710 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 731 00:30:32,793 --> 00:30:36,293 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 732 00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:40,001 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 733 00:30:40,085 --> 00:30:42,668 [♪ chill music playing] 734 00:30:47,543 --> 00:30:50,251 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ♪ 735 00:30:50,335 --> 00:30:54,293 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, ah ah ♪ 736 00:30:54,376 --> 00:30:55,751 ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ 737 00:30:58,376 --> 00:30:59,585 You here alone? 738 00:31:00,335 --> 00:31:01,335 Yeah. 739 00:31:02,085 --> 00:31:03,085 [sharp inhale] 740 00:31:03,501 --> 00:31:04,835 Not anymore. 741 00:31:04,918 --> 00:31:06,501 [♪ eerie music playing] 742 00:31:06,585 --> 00:31:08,251 [giggles] Oh. Ooh. 743 00:31:08,335 --> 00:31:10,835 [chuckles] Interesting. 744 00:31:10,918 --> 00:31:13,626 - [door closes] - Um, yeah, no, u-uh, sorry. 745 00:31:13,710 --> 00:31:15,085 I-I'm sorry if I was too forward, 746 00:31:15,168 --> 00:31:16,751 I just, I just wanted to ask you a question 747 00:31:21,626 --> 00:31:23,085 [laughing] Okay. 748 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,335 Yeah, no, I was wondering 749 00:31:25,418 --> 00:31:27,918 if maybe you're free tomorrow to... 750 00:31:28,001 --> 00:31:29,001 Oh, okay. 751 00:31:29,085 --> 00:31:31,835 Yeah, do a little more of that. Um... 752 00:31:34,793 --> 00:31:37,501 [Jess laughs] 753 00:31:38,418 --> 00:31:39,918 Thank you. 754 00:31:40,001 --> 00:31:43,501 [both moaning] 755 00:31:43,585 --> 00:31:44,626 [door closes] 756 00:31:44,710 --> 00:31:48,376 - [both moaning] - [kisses smacking] 757 00:31:52,085 --> 00:31:53,210 Oh, hell yeah. 758 00:31:54,001 --> 00:31:55,168 Okay, my turn. [grunts] 759 00:31:56,335 --> 00:31:57,335 [gasps] 760 00:31:58,668 --> 00:31:59,668 Cool fanny pack. 761 00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:00,918 [fanny pack clatters] 762 00:32:01,001 --> 00:32:02,668 - Hot. - Yeah, it's whatever. 763 00:32:02,751 --> 00:32:03,835 [zipper buzzes] 764 00:32:04,585 --> 00:32:05,626 [Hannah grunts] 765 00:32:05,710 --> 00:32:06,710 Fuck. 766 00:32:07,126 --> 00:32:09,293 You know, actually, I prefer to do it with them on. 767 00:32:09,376 --> 00:32:10,460 [Amber laughs] 768 00:32:10,543 --> 00:32:12,168 [Amber] Who are you? 769 00:32:12,668 --> 00:32:14,626 I'm Hannah motherfuckin' Shapiro. 770 00:32:15,335 --> 00:32:17,626 Wait. My last name's Shapiro. [laughs] 771 00:32:17,710 --> 00:32:20,001 [Hannah] It's a pretty common last name. Where are you from? 772 00:32:20,751 --> 00:32:22,751 Seattle. [chuckles] 773 00:32:23,126 --> 00:32:24,668 Wait. What's your dad's name? 774 00:32:25,251 --> 00:32:26,251 Nate. 775 00:32:27,085 --> 00:32:28,251 With the restaurant? 776 00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:31,793 - Yes. - We're second cousins. 777 00:32:34,126 --> 00:32:35,126 No, we can't... 778 00:32:36,418 --> 00:32:38,210 Wait, was your bat mitzvah theme Twilight? 779 00:32:38,293 --> 00:32:39,460 [Hannah] [gasps] Oh, my God, yeah. 780 00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:41,210 I guess this is why people have family reunions. 781 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:43,335 - [police sirens wail] - [Amber] Oh, my God. Thank God. 782 00:32:43,418 --> 00:32:44,918 - Holy shit. - You wanna just, uh, pretend 783 00:32:45,001 --> 00:32:46,293 - this never happened? - Hundred percent. 784 00:32:46,376 --> 00:32:47,376 [Amber] Yeah. 785 00:32:47,460 --> 00:32:49,085 Hey, did you know Aunt Marsha died? 786 00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:50,543 [Amber] Jesus. Bad time. 787 00:32:50,626 --> 00:32:51,918 - [door thuds] - [police radio chatter] 788 00:32:52,001 --> 00:32:53,001 [people screaming] 789 00:32:53,085 --> 00:32:56,543 We got a complaint that this house was blasting Charli XCX, 790 00:32:56,626 --> 00:32:58,668 so I know somebody's snorting drugs in here. 791 00:32:59,210 --> 00:33:00,418 Let's dance. 792 00:33:01,085 --> 00:33:02,168 [Hannah] Shit! 793 00:33:03,543 --> 00:33:06,085 Finally, Christ, you pay so much for data, 794 00:33:06,168 --> 00:33:07,751 you'd think Google Translate would work. 795 00:33:08,585 --> 00:33:10,335 [sighs] Okay, um... [clears throat] 796 00:33:10,418 --> 00:33:11,418 Uh... 797 00:33:14,001 --> 00:33:15,710 - Oh, shit! Sorry. - Oh, my God! 798 00:33:15,793 --> 00:33:17,751 - Hannah! - The cops are here! We gotta go! 799 00:33:28,043 --> 00:33:30,043 [footsteps clomping] 800 00:33:30,335 --> 00:33:31,585 Was that guy trying to kill you? 801 00:33:31,668 --> 00:33:33,460 Look, it was either that or intense sexual chemistry, 802 00:33:33,543 --> 00:33:34,585 and I was willing to find out. 803 00:33:34,668 --> 00:33:35,751 - Oh, come on. - [Jess groans] 804 00:33:35,835 --> 00:33:36,960 Eat glass, pigs. 805 00:33:37,293 --> 00:33:38,876 - [bottle shatters] - Run! 806 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:39,960 Great party! 807 00:33:40,043 --> 00:33:41,751 - [♪ dramatic music playing] - [Jess shrieks] 808 00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:44,501 - [sirens blares] - [people screaming] 809 00:33:45,335 --> 00:33:47,335 [helicopter hovering] 810 00:33:47,835 --> 00:33:48,835 No, wait. Come on. 811 00:33:49,210 --> 00:33:51,210 [sirens wailing] 812 00:33:52,793 --> 00:33:54,751 Shit, shit, shit. What do we do? 813 00:33:54,835 --> 00:33:56,043 I snorted a bunch of drugs. 814 00:33:56,126 --> 00:33:58,168 If they test me, I'm going to jail for sure. 815 00:33:58,251 --> 00:33:59,668 What do you think they're gonna do to me? 816 00:33:59,751 --> 00:34:01,293 I'm a Black teenager who broke a minor law, 817 00:34:01,376 --> 00:34:02,626 I'm their wet fuckin' dream. 818 00:34:03,710 --> 00:34:05,085 - We gotta go over. - [Hannah] Oh, fuck. 819 00:34:05,168 --> 00:34:06,793 [Jess] If we double bounce, we can get enough air 820 00:34:06,876 --> 00:34:07,876 to clear the fence. 821 00:34:08,543 --> 00:34:09,835 [both grunt] 822 00:34:09,918 --> 00:34:11,126 - I got you. - Okay, okay, thanks. 823 00:34:11,210 --> 00:34:12,501 - [Hannah] Okay. - [Jess grunts] 824 00:34:13,501 --> 00:34:15,085 [Jess] Ready? Ninja kick over the fence. 825 00:34:15,168 --> 00:34:16,960 - Hiya! - Yeah, like that, like that. Yeah. 826 00:34:17,043 --> 00:34:18,085 - Hiya! - Ya! 827 00:34:18,168 --> 00:34:19,210 [Hannah] Oh, this is fun! 828 00:34:19,293 --> 00:34:20,626 - [Hannah laughs] - Hey, shut up! 829 00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,585 Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I think I'm still pretty high. 830 00:34:22,668 --> 00:34:24,793 Give me your hands. Okay, we hop two, turn, 831 00:34:24,876 --> 00:34:26,418 - and count, okay? - Okay. Ah! 832 00:34:26,835 --> 00:34:29,210 [both] One, two, three! 833 00:34:29,293 --> 00:34:30,335 [both scream] 834 00:34:30,418 --> 00:34:32,293 [water splashes] 835 00:34:32,376 --> 00:34:35,043 [water bubbling] 836 00:34:35,918 --> 00:34:37,335 [both gasping] 837 00:34:37,418 --> 00:34:39,418 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 838 00:34:40,543 --> 00:34:41,668 [Jess] We fucking did it! 839 00:34:41,751 --> 00:34:42,793 You're a genius! 840 00:34:42,876 --> 00:34:44,210 I never should have doubted you. 841 00:34:44,293 --> 00:34:46,043 [Jess laughs] 842 00:34:46,126 --> 00:34:47,251 [♪ tense sting] 843 00:34:48,585 --> 00:34:49,585 Are you... 844 00:34:52,293 --> 00:34:53,501 girls? 845 00:34:54,376 --> 00:34:55,710 [Jess] Yes. 846 00:34:57,585 --> 00:35:00,501 [frat bros cheering] 847 00:35:00,585 --> 00:35:03,751 [gulping] 848 00:35:05,710 --> 00:35:07,210 Alright, pace yourself. 849 00:35:07,293 --> 00:35:08,751 [gasping breaths, sniffs] 850 00:35:08,835 --> 00:35:10,626 - Thanks, Jacob. - Yeah. 851 00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:12,085 You have a really calming presence. 852 00:35:12,168 --> 00:35:15,085 I think it's 'cause you remind me of, of... 853 00:35:15,168 --> 00:35:17,501 O-Okay, okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. 854 00:35:17,585 --> 00:35:20,960 Look, I-I'm-I'm sure everything is, is gonna work out 855 00:35:21,043 --> 00:35:23,335 exactly how it's supposed to, you know? 856 00:35:23,418 --> 00:35:25,376 And ma-maybe Hannah just needs some time to think. 857 00:35:25,460 --> 00:35:27,501 You know, hav-haven't you ever needed time away from her 858 00:35:27,585 --> 00:35:29,501 - to-to-to process or just... - No. 859 00:35:30,126 --> 00:35:31,710 I would live in her pocket if I could. 860 00:35:32,710 --> 00:35:34,793 Okay. Okay. 861 00:35:34,876 --> 00:35:37,043 I'm-I'm sorry, Jacob. It's just... [sniffles] 862 00:35:37,126 --> 00:35:38,626 - No, no. It's... - I don't mean to be a burden. 863 00:35:38,710 --> 00:35:41,376 I just, I-I can't be alone right now. 864 00:35:42,418 --> 00:35:43,543 I just can't. 865 00:35:44,085 --> 00:35:46,418 Hey, um, I was gonna go to a concert tonight. 866 00:35:46,751 --> 00:35:48,210 Do you want to come with me to that? 867 00:35:48,293 --> 00:35:49,793 - Thank you! - Oh! 868 00:35:49,876 --> 00:35:51,376 Oh, please. 869 00:35:52,543 --> 00:35:54,418 - Okay. - Can we hold hands in the car? 870 00:35:56,001 --> 00:35:57,960 [indistinct chatter] 871 00:35:58,043 --> 00:36:00,126 [frat bro 1] Oh, your hair's straight again. Cool. 872 00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:03,460 Uh... thanks. 873 00:36:04,418 --> 00:36:06,918 Sorry we had to crash your party. We kind of had no choice. 874 00:36:07,001 --> 00:36:09,751 But, you know, without you guys, we probably would be arrested right now. 875 00:36:10,043 --> 00:36:11,668 Actually, I'd say us somersaulting 876 00:36:11,751 --> 00:36:13,668 through the air is what saved us, but, you know... 877 00:36:14,418 --> 00:36:16,085 Yeah, thank you so much. 878 00:36:16,168 --> 00:36:19,001 Are you kidding? You babes are the ones helping us out. 879 00:36:19,085 --> 00:36:21,251 This was supposed to be our frat's big end of year kegger, 880 00:36:21,335 --> 00:36:24,293 but, [burps] none of the sororities we invited showed up, so... 881 00:36:24,668 --> 00:36:26,460 [frat bros] One, two, three. 882 00:36:26,543 --> 00:36:27,543 [bottles shattering] 883 00:36:27,626 --> 00:36:29,085 - [grunts] - [together] For the boys! 884 00:36:29,168 --> 00:36:30,460 [frat bro 2] You're not coming tonight? 885 00:36:30,876 --> 00:36:34,210 Okay, looks like I took that mandatory consent course for nothing. 886 00:36:35,043 --> 00:36:36,501 - [punch thuds] - [groans] 887 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,085 Wonder why. 888 00:36:38,585 --> 00:36:41,210 - I'm Jess by the way. - Reggie. 889 00:36:41,585 --> 00:36:43,835 So, do you ladies want me to get you some drinks? 890 00:36:43,918 --> 00:36:45,210 Um, we should really be going. 891 00:36:45,293 --> 00:36:48,085 And our parents know our exact locations, 892 00:36:48,168 --> 00:36:50,001 so they'd be able to find us 893 00:36:50,085 --> 00:36:52,585 if for some reason we were blocked from leaving. 894 00:36:53,835 --> 00:36:57,376 - Huh. - [laughs] She's just... 895 00:36:57,460 --> 00:36:59,085 She's just kidding. [laughs] 896 00:36:59,168 --> 00:37:01,835 Hannah, Hannah, can I, can I talk to you over there for a sec? 897 00:37:05,418 --> 00:37:08,001 - [♪ hip-hop music playing] - [indistinct chatter, shouting] 898 00:37:09,210 --> 00:37:11,293 - I think we should stay. - Are you serious? 899 00:37:11,376 --> 00:37:14,376 Frat bros are, like, the most rapey subgroup of men. 900 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,293 I don't get that vibe from Reggie. He seems honest. 901 00:37:17,668 --> 00:37:19,876 God, you have horrible taste in men. 902 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,585 I promise I'll be quick, okay? 903 00:37:21,668 --> 00:37:24,001 I'm ju... I'll-I'll just feel him out and then ask him right away. 904 00:37:24,085 --> 00:37:28,168 And then we can find the gayest, queerest co-op 905 00:37:28,251 --> 00:37:31,210 slash poetry slam slash vegan restaurant you can imagine. 906 00:37:31,543 --> 00:37:33,543 Come on, he's a hot college guy. 907 00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:36,043 Everyone would freak if I brought him to prom. 908 00:37:36,126 --> 00:37:37,251 Please, Hans. 909 00:37:37,418 --> 00:37:38,418 Fine. 910 00:37:38,793 --> 00:37:40,543 - You're the best. - I know. 911 00:37:41,251 --> 00:37:42,418 Hey, wanna play beer pong? 912 00:37:42,501 --> 00:37:44,210 [Reggie] Rock 'n' roll. Table's this way. 913 00:37:44,793 --> 00:37:46,168 [Hannah] Okay, you know what? 914 00:37:46,251 --> 00:37:48,543 Keep your location on, just in case. 915 00:37:48,626 --> 00:37:49,793 Yes, Mommy. 916 00:37:55,918 --> 00:37:57,793 [clears throat] Hey, so I was wondering if maybe... 917 00:37:57,876 --> 00:38:00,168 - I'm gay. - Coolio. Cool. 918 00:38:00,876 --> 00:38:01,960 Gay is good. 919 00:38:02,710 --> 00:38:05,043 - In... So you're into sports, then? - I'm gonna go inside. 920 00:38:05,126 --> 00:38:06,376 Yeah. Right on. 921 00:38:09,126 --> 00:38:11,001 - [door thuds] - [sighs] 922 00:38:12,335 --> 00:38:14,001 [narrator] [on TV] The childhood nursery rhyme 923 00:38:14,085 --> 00:38:18,376 "Lemur Lemur, Femur Femur" has long delighted fans 924 00:38:18,460 --> 00:38:23,210 of these petite, wide-eyed, sharply snouted coconut enthusiasts. 925 00:38:23,293 --> 00:38:26,126 While some lemurs are active during the day, 926 00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:28,251 some can be quite active at night... 927 00:38:28,335 --> 00:38:31,251 [narrator continues indistinctly] 928 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:33,960 [door opens] 929 00:38:37,876 --> 00:38:39,043 [sighs] 930 00:38:41,543 --> 00:38:42,543 Ugh. 931 00:38:42,626 --> 00:38:46,085 - [♪ muffled thumping music playing] - [muffled chatter from outside] 932 00:38:54,835 --> 00:38:56,001 [sniffs] 933 00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:57,418 [groans] 934 00:38:57,501 --> 00:38:58,585 [alcohol swishes] 935 00:39:01,210 --> 00:39:02,210 [zipper buzzes] 936 00:39:04,418 --> 00:39:05,585 [cellphone clicks] 937 00:39:05,668 --> 00:39:07,501 Oh, fuck. 938 00:39:08,585 --> 00:39:12,001 [♪ muffled thumping music continues] 939 00:39:16,376 --> 00:39:17,501 [objects clattering] 940 00:39:19,460 --> 00:39:21,126 [sighs] 941 00:39:21,210 --> 00:39:23,251 [inhales] 942 00:39:23,751 --> 00:39:25,085 [sighs] 943 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:28,251 - [ball clacks] - [Reggie] Ugh! 944 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:31,001 [ball clatters] 945 00:39:31,085 --> 00:39:33,210 - Damn, you're pretty good at this. - [Jess] What can I say? 946 00:39:33,293 --> 00:39:36,210 When I know what I want, nothing stops me from getting it. 947 00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:38,918 Same. You know, I actually didn't get into college, 948 00:39:39,001 --> 00:39:40,918 so I just started showing up to the classes. 949 00:39:41,001 --> 00:39:42,418 Now they have to give me a degree. 950 00:39:42,501 --> 00:39:45,335 Mm. You wanna play another round? 951 00:39:45,418 --> 00:39:46,668 Let's do it. 952 00:39:46,751 --> 00:39:48,793 [gasps] The stripper's here! 953 00:39:48,876 --> 00:39:50,835 [frat bros cheering] 954 00:39:51,460 --> 00:39:54,418 Uh, wanna go up to my room instead? 955 00:39:54,501 --> 00:39:56,001 Yeah. Uh, sure. 956 00:39:56,085 --> 00:39:57,210 [Reggie] Alright, cool. 957 00:39:58,418 --> 00:40:01,293 Alright, Jess, it's time to get freaky. Time to get freaky for a prom date. 958 00:40:01,376 --> 00:40:02,460 [slap smacks] 959 00:40:02,543 --> 00:40:04,001 I feel like a woman in STEM right now. 960 00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:05,960 Fucking sisters doin' it for themselves. 961 00:40:06,460 --> 00:40:07,460 Okay. 962 00:40:07,543 --> 00:40:09,876 [keypad clacking] 963 00:40:16,168 --> 00:40:17,168 [cellphone clicks] 964 00:40:17,251 --> 00:40:20,043 [muffled excited chatter] 965 00:40:23,210 --> 00:40:25,168 - [door opens] - [bros chattering] 966 00:40:25,251 --> 00:40:26,376 [Hannah] Jesus. 967 00:40:26,460 --> 00:40:28,335 Uh, s-sorry. Guess I'll just... 968 00:40:28,418 --> 00:40:32,043 Um, can I... Can... [grunts] 969 00:40:32,835 --> 00:40:33,835 Fuck. 970 00:40:36,835 --> 00:40:38,876 Alright, listen up, boys! 971 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:40,085 This is Lexi. 972 00:40:40,168 --> 00:40:41,168 [frat bro] Hi. 973 00:40:41,251 --> 00:40:43,835 Uh, tip well and be respectful 'cause she's a dancer 974 00:40:43,918 --> 00:40:46,251 from the only company that hasn't blacklisted our frat yet. 975 00:40:46,335 --> 00:40:47,835 [frat bros cheering] 976 00:40:48,626 --> 00:40:49,751 Oh, thanks. 977 00:40:49,835 --> 00:40:52,168 [♪ "So What" by Stella Mwangi playing] 978 00:40:52,251 --> 00:40:54,918 [bros gasping, chattering] 979 00:40:55,001 --> 00:40:56,460 ♪♪ 980 00:40:56,543 --> 00:40:57,876 Oh, sh... Okay. 981 00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,043 Oh, my God. Um... 982 00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:00,126 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 983 00:41:00,210 --> 00:41:02,543 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 984 00:41:02,626 --> 00:41:04,418 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 985 00:41:04,501 --> 00:41:06,960 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 986 00:41:07,043 --> 00:41:08,335 ♪ Clock, tick tock... ♪ 987 00:41:08,418 --> 00:41:09,543 Wow. [chuckles] 988 00:41:10,835 --> 00:41:12,043 You're quite the athlete. 989 00:41:12,376 --> 00:41:13,460 Thanks. 990 00:41:13,543 --> 00:41:15,293 I know, my coach says one more concussion 991 00:41:15,376 --> 00:41:16,585 and I'll have to learn to read again. 992 00:41:16,668 --> 00:41:18,043 Oh, that's awful. 993 00:41:18,126 --> 00:41:19,168 I know. 994 00:41:19,918 --> 00:41:21,043 It was so hard the first time. 995 00:41:21,751 --> 00:41:22,876 [Reggie sighs] 996 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,418 Wanna come sit? 997 00:41:24,501 --> 00:41:27,043 I actually need a little help with something. 998 00:41:28,001 --> 00:41:29,085 Yes. 999 00:41:29,501 --> 00:41:31,293 - Just sitting on your bed. - [Reggie chuckles] 1000 00:41:32,376 --> 00:41:34,168 - [Jess clears throat] - Okay. Uh... 1001 00:41:35,668 --> 00:41:38,543 [papers rustling] 1002 00:41:41,210 --> 00:41:43,585 Sorry, they're here somewhere. 1003 00:41:43,668 --> 00:41:46,251 Oh, no, take your time. Protection is key. 1004 00:41:48,710 --> 00:41:49,876 ♪ What you want? ♪ 1005 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,335 ♪ He can speak, but you know... ♪ 1006 00:41:51,418 --> 00:41:54,126 Um, my bubbe gave me this hundred dollars for graduating. Just... 1007 00:41:54,543 --> 00:41:56,085 Aren't you generous? 1008 00:41:56,168 --> 00:41:58,251 [frat bros] [chanting] Boobies! Boobies! 1009 00:41:58,335 --> 00:42:01,210 Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 1010 00:42:01,293 --> 00:42:03,543 Boobies! Boobies! 1011 00:42:03,626 --> 00:42:07,751 [muffled] Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 1012 00:42:07,835 --> 00:42:10,126 There they are. [chuckles] 1013 00:42:10,793 --> 00:42:12,543 - Let's go. - I'm ready. 1014 00:42:13,626 --> 00:42:14,626 What? 1015 00:42:15,210 --> 00:42:17,543 I wanted your help to write an email to my mom. 1016 00:42:18,210 --> 00:42:19,626 - What? - All the concussions make me 1017 00:42:19,710 --> 00:42:21,168 super sensitive to light. 1018 00:42:21,251 --> 00:42:22,251 Did I say that already? 1019 00:42:22,335 --> 00:42:24,876 I-I can't look at a screen for more than 10 minutes. 1020 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,460 Oh. Yeah, no. Uh... 1021 00:42:27,543 --> 00:42:29,835 [chuckles] That's... I, I just thought... [clears throat] 1022 00:42:29,918 --> 00:42:31,668 [Reggie] Uh, I mean... 1023 00:42:31,751 --> 00:42:33,293 [muffled chanting continues] 1024 00:42:33,376 --> 00:42:34,626 ...we can do it if you want. 1025 00:42:35,210 --> 00:42:37,960 Um, actually, uh, I-I was just, I was gonna see 1026 00:42:38,043 --> 00:42:39,376 if you wanted to go to prom? 1027 00:42:39,460 --> 00:42:42,043 Wait, you want to go to prom with me? I'd love to. 1028 00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:43,668 [frat bros] Boobies! Boobies! 1029 00:42:43,751 --> 00:42:45,668 Boobies! Boobies! 1030 00:42:45,751 --> 00:42:46,918 Will you go to prom with me? 1031 00:42:47,001 --> 00:42:48,418 What was that, sweetheart? 1032 00:42:48,501 --> 00:42:50,001 [frat bros] Boobies! Boobies! 1033 00:42:50,085 --> 00:42:51,626 Boobies! Boobies! 1034 00:42:51,710 --> 00:42:53,418 - [trophies rattling] - Boobies! Boobies! 1035 00:42:53,501 --> 00:42:54,501 Are you serious? 1036 00:42:54,585 --> 00:42:56,835 Yeah. We'll have the best night of our lives. 1037 00:42:56,918 --> 00:42:58,001 [trophy clanks] 1038 00:42:58,085 --> 00:42:59,085 [Jess groans] 1039 00:42:59,585 --> 00:43:00,585 Reggie? 1040 00:43:00,668 --> 00:43:02,168 Boobies! Boobies! 1041 00:43:02,251 --> 00:43:05,376 I get the feeling that you boys want me 1042 00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:06,460 to take my top off. 1043 00:43:06,543 --> 00:43:08,501 [frat bros] Yeah! 1044 00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:10,960 No, no, no, no, no. That's okay. You really don't have to do that. 1045 00:43:11,668 --> 00:43:13,793 [bros gasping, chuckling] 1046 00:43:13,876 --> 00:43:17,251 [excited chatter] 1047 00:43:17,335 --> 00:43:19,543 [bros whooping, chattering] 1048 00:43:19,626 --> 00:43:21,376 [♪ "So What" continues playing] 1049 00:43:21,460 --> 00:43:22,626 ♪ Clock, ding dong ♪ 1050 00:43:22,710 --> 00:43:25,501 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 1051 00:43:25,585 --> 00:43:29,751 [♪ operatic music playing] 1052 00:43:53,835 --> 00:43:56,585 [echoing] I don't feel so good. 1053 00:44:00,293 --> 00:44:01,751 [distorted] [echoing] What? 1054 00:44:02,585 --> 00:44:04,418 [distorted] [echoing] I said... 1055 00:44:05,376 --> 00:44:09,335 I don't feel so... 1056 00:44:09,835 --> 00:44:11,335 - [items clatter] - [frat bros] Oh! 1057 00:44:11,710 --> 00:44:12,710 Reggie? 1058 00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,460 [gasping breaths] Help! Help! 1059 00:44:16,543 --> 00:44:17,876 [♪ "So What" continues playing] 1060 00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,585 ♪ B ut you know I'm hangin' up the phone ♪ 1061 00:44:19,668 --> 00:44:21,793 ♪ And if I really gotta do it on my own ♪ 1062 00:44:21,876 --> 00:44:24,626 ♪ I tell him so what, I'm better off alone ♪ 1063 00:44:24,710 --> 00:44:26,293 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 1064 00:44:26,376 --> 00:44:27,710 Are you okay, sweetie? 1065 00:44:28,835 --> 00:44:30,418 - [Hannah sneezes] - [frat bros] Oh! 1066 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,793 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 1067 00:44:31,876 --> 00:44:34,168 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 1068 00:44:34,251 --> 00:44:35,460 [gags] Oh, my God. 1069 00:44:36,043 --> 00:44:38,168 [Lexi heaving] 1070 00:44:38,251 --> 00:44:39,418 - [retches] - [vomit splashes] 1071 00:44:39,501 --> 00:44:40,710 [frat bros groan] 1072 00:44:41,126 --> 00:44:42,126 [gasps] 1073 00:44:42,710 --> 00:44:45,210 No. No, no, no. No. 1074 00:44:45,626 --> 00:44:47,751 You're gonna get us blacklisted. 1075 00:44:48,501 --> 00:44:49,835 [Hannah retches] 1076 00:44:49,918 --> 00:44:52,626 - [yelps] Oh! - I'm so sorry. 1077 00:44:54,501 --> 00:44:56,126 [groans] 1078 00:44:58,335 --> 00:45:00,293 - Jess? - [Jess] [muffled] Help! 1079 00:45:00,376 --> 00:45:01,460 - Jess? - [muffled] Hannah! 1080 00:45:01,543 --> 00:45:02,876 Jess! I hear you! 1081 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,376 - Jess? - Hannah, I'm over here! 1082 00:45:04,835 --> 00:45:05,960 [Reggie groans] 1083 00:45:06,043 --> 00:45:07,085 - Oh, my God. - [Reggie groans] 1084 00:45:07,168 --> 00:45:08,251 Oh, I thought you were dead. 1085 00:45:09,376 --> 00:45:10,876 - [Jess sighs] - What happened? 1086 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,043 [door bangs open] 1087 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,543 - Oh, my God! - [Jess] Hannah! 1088 00:45:13,626 --> 00:45:14,918 Get off my best friend, you creep! 1089 00:45:15,001 --> 00:45:16,168 - [mug shatters] - [Jess screams] 1090 00:45:16,751 --> 00:45:17,793 I saved you. 1091 00:45:17,876 --> 00:45:20,543 No, you idiot, he was gonna go to prom with me! 1092 00:45:20,626 --> 00:45:22,126 Why were you screaming for help? 1093 00:45:22,210 --> 00:45:23,960 - Are you bleeding? - Yes! We need to leave. 1094 00:45:24,043 --> 00:45:25,168 - Like, now! - Okay, okay, okay. 1095 00:45:25,251 --> 00:45:26,460 - Just get him off of me. - Okay! 1096 00:45:27,335 --> 00:45:28,418 [Hannah grunts] 1097 00:45:28,501 --> 00:45:29,835 Pardon me. [grunts] 1098 00:45:29,918 --> 00:45:30,918 - Oh, my foot, my foot. - Okay. 1099 00:45:31,001 --> 00:45:32,043 No, I got you. I got you. 1100 00:45:32,126 --> 00:45:33,126 - Come here. - Okay. 1101 00:45:33,210 --> 00:45:34,501 - Yep. Pull, just pull. - [grunts] Ah! 1102 00:45:34,585 --> 00:45:35,835 [Hannah] [grunts] My God! 1103 00:45:35,918 --> 00:45:37,043 You don't need to scream. 1104 00:45:37,460 --> 00:45:38,918 - Okay, let's go. Come on. - Okay. 1105 00:45:39,001 --> 00:45:40,335 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1106 00:45:40,918 --> 00:45:41,960 One second. [pants] 1107 00:45:42,501 --> 00:45:45,543 [♪ "So What" continues playing, muffled] 1108 00:45:45,626 --> 00:45:47,585 - [camera clicks] - Hey, can you get a landscape of us... 1109 00:45:47,668 --> 00:45:49,460 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Okay, okay, okay, okay! 1110 00:45:49,543 --> 00:45:50,543 [door slams shut] 1111 00:45:50,626 --> 00:45:52,876 Oh, my God, I was so close. 1112 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:54,126 What happened back there? 1113 00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:55,876 Well, let me think. 1114 00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:00,418 Um, you ditched me for a man with the IQ of a ham sandwich, 1115 00:46:00,501 --> 00:46:04,251 and then I sneezed blood all over a beautiful woman, so... 1116 00:46:04,335 --> 00:46:05,335 [mouths] Fuck. 1117 00:46:05,876 --> 00:46:07,126 You know what, I'm just... 1118 00:46:08,835 --> 00:46:11,751 This night is over, and I'm just, I'm gonna go home. 1119 00:46:14,376 --> 00:46:15,751 Where are my keys? 1120 00:46:17,710 --> 00:46:19,293 Where the fuck are my... 1121 00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:20,376 Fuck! 1122 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,418 Oh, my God, I left them at Heather's after doing that bump. 1123 00:46:23,501 --> 00:46:24,710 - Hannah. It's okay. - [Hannah groans] 1124 00:46:24,793 --> 00:46:26,460 We're just gonna find another party really quick, 1125 00:46:26,543 --> 00:46:28,460 I'm gonna grab a date, and then boom, we're out of there. 1126 00:46:28,543 --> 00:46:30,001 What the fuck are you talking about? 1127 00:46:30,085 --> 00:46:33,543 I fucked my face, Jess. It's over. 1128 00:46:33,626 --> 00:46:35,126 - Hannah, come on, let's just... - No, no. 1129 00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,793 We're meeting up with Jacob to grab his keys. 1130 00:46:36,876 --> 00:46:39,751 And then you can do whatever you want, okay? 1131 00:46:39,835 --> 00:46:41,668 Wait. Wait, you're calling Jacob? 1132 00:46:41,751 --> 00:46:43,251 [line ringing] 1133 00:46:43,335 --> 00:46:45,085 [♪ "By Your Side" by Go Betty Go playing] 1134 00:46:45,168 --> 00:46:46,835 ♪ You had your chance, now set me free ♪ 1135 00:46:46,918 --> 00:46:49,793 ♪ There's nothing left, I've got to leave ♪ 1136 00:46:49,876 --> 00:46:52,460 ♪ And now when you reach out, you'll see ♪ 1137 00:46:52,543 --> 00:46:56,210 - ♪ I won't be by your side ♪ - [crowd] [chanting] Chug! Chug! Chug! 1138 00:46:56,293 --> 00:46:57,918 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 1139 00:46:58,001 --> 00:47:00,960 - ♪ I can't be by your side ♪ - [crowd cheers] 1140 00:47:01,043 --> 00:47:03,168 [Greg] That's something that you gotta learn as a young person. 1141 00:47:03,251 --> 00:47:05,168 But they told me that my cartilage is too weak 1142 00:47:05,251 --> 00:47:06,543 to handle a punch. 1143 00:47:06,626 --> 00:47:09,501 Oh, speaking of fighting, I actually asked Mr. Sanchez 1144 00:47:09,585 --> 00:47:12,210 to pair me and Hannah up in the self-defense class. 1145 00:47:12,293 --> 00:47:14,543 Little did I know she has a mean right hook. 1146 00:47:14,626 --> 00:47:16,418 Knocked me clean out. Concussed. 1147 00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:17,585 Never been the same. 1148 00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:20,418 But she actually carried me to the nurse's office, 1149 00:47:20,501 --> 00:47:21,585 and that was that. 1150 00:47:21,668 --> 00:47:24,460 That's when I knew she was the one for me. 1151 00:47:24,543 --> 00:47:27,418 I actually still have that gym shirt with the blood on it. 1152 00:47:27,501 --> 00:47:29,376 - Yeah, I never washed it. - Wow. 1153 00:47:29,460 --> 00:47:30,918 Never will wash it, actually. 1154 00:47:31,001 --> 00:47:33,293 - Yeah. - Wow, that-that is crazy. 1155 00:47:33,835 --> 00:47:37,710 Hey, um, why don't you go grab us some drinks from the bar? 1156 00:47:37,793 --> 00:47:40,126 - Huh? - Oh, no problemo, Jakey. 1157 00:47:40,585 --> 00:47:44,418 You know, it's bonkers that it's taken us this long to hang out one on one. 1158 00:47:44,501 --> 00:47:46,710 We have such great chemistry. 1159 00:47:47,418 --> 00:47:48,418 [Jacob] Okay. 1160 00:47:48,501 --> 00:47:50,251 - ♪ By your side! ♪ - [cellphone buzzing] 1161 00:47:50,335 --> 00:47:52,251 - Hannah. - Yo. Where are you on campus? 1162 00:47:52,335 --> 00:47:53,543 I need to borrow your keys. 1163 00:47:53,626 --> 00:47:55,085 Hannah, let's just, like, ring the doorbell 1164 00:47:55,168 --> 00:47:56,168 until your parents wake up. 1165 00:47:56,251 --> 00:47:57,710 Richardson and Wyckoff. Okay. 1166 00:47:57,793 --> 00:47:59,793 Yeah, we're, like, 10 minutes' walk from there. 1167 00:48:00,751 --> 00:48:02,043 Okay. [sighs] 1168 00:48:02,668 --> 00:48:04,251 Yeah, I'm with her right now. Why? 1169 00:48:04,710 --> 00:48:06,085 - What the fuck? - [water splashes] 1170 00:48:06,543 --> 00:48:07,585 Hello? 1171 00:48:08,376 --> 00:48:09,501 Hannah, can... 1172 00:48:11,293 --> 00:48:12,376 Okay. 1173 00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:13,460 I'm sorry. 1174 00:48:13,543 --> 00:48:16,335 If that was some ploy to try and get me 1175 00:48:16,418 --> 00:48:17,751 - to stay out with you... - No. 1176 00:48:17,835 --> 00:48:20,001 ...know it extremely isn't working! 1177 00:48:20,085 --> 00:48:21,876 I'm sorry, I thought he was gonna say something. 1178 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,210 What are you talking about? 1179 00:48:25,043 --> 00:48:26,418 I had sex with Jacob. 1180 00:48:28,543 --> 00:48:29,585 When? 1181 00:48:30,085 --> 00:48:31,710 When we visited him in January. 1182 00:48:31,793 --> 00:48:34,960 No, that's when you had your one-night stand with Johan. 1183 00:48:35,668 --> 00:48:36,668 S... 1184 00:48:37,793 --> 00:48:39,960 - Johan is Jacob? - I... [sighs] 1185 00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:42,585 [speaker 1] Thanks for making our two-year anniversary so special. 1186 00:48:42,668 --> 00:48:43,668 - Boo-boo. - [both laugh] 1187 00:48:43,751 --> 00:48:45,460 - [Hannah] No, you didn't. - The night's not over yet. 1188 00:48:45,543 --> 00:48:47,376 - [Jess] Yes, I did. Hannah. - Why don't you make a wish? 1189 00:48:47,460 --> 00:48:48,918 - [laughs] - [Hannah/Jess continue arguing] 1190 00:48:49,001 --> 00:48:51,126 - Okay, I'll make a wish. Okay. - Throw it in there. 1191 00:48:51,210 --> 00:48:53,251 - [water splashes] - Oh, my God! 1192 00:48:53,335 --> 00:48:54,751 [Jess] I-I didn't know what else to do. 1193 00:48:54,835 --> 00:48:58,251 I didn't wanna lie to my best friend about doing it for the first time, 1194 00:48:58,335 --> 00:49:00,001 but then I knew I couldn't tell you it was Jacob 1195 00:49:00,085 --> 00:49:01,168 'cause then you'd get upset. 1196 00:49:01,251 --> 00:49:03,085 Yeah? Well, 'cause we, you know, 1197 00:49:03,168 --> 00:49:05,043 talked in graphic detail about that night. 1198 00:49:05,126 --> 00:49:08,168 And I literally hyped you up about riding the D. 1199 00:49:08,251 --> 00:49:13,043 And now you're telling me the D you rode was my... Uh. 1200 00:49:14,751 --> 00:49:16,168 [Hannah groans, heaves] 1201 00:49:16,251 --> 00:49:17,460 - [retches] - [vomit splashes] 1202 00:49:17,543 --> 00:49:19,335 - Oh, God. - [Jess] I think I-I might have 1203 00:49:19,418 --> 00:49:20,710 genuine feelings for... 1204 00:49:20,793 --> 00:49:23,126 I kissed my cousin 'cause of you, 1205 00:49:23,210 --> 00:49:25,460 you fucking brother fucker! 1206 00:49:25,543 --> 00:49:27,085 - You kissed your what? - [Hannah groans] 1207 00:49:27,168 --> 00:49:28,501 [speaker 2] She kissed her cousin? 1208 00:49:28,585 --> 00:49:30,210 - I saw a show about this. - [Hannah heaves] 1209 00:49:30,293 --> 00:49:31,501 - [Hannah retches] - [vomit splashes] 1210 00:49:31,585 --> 00:49:32,626 [speaker 1] Oh, God. 1211 00:49:32,710 --> 00:49:34,418 Oh, God. Let's just find a different fountain. 1212 00:49:34,501 --> 00:49:36,251 - [speaker 2] That was my last quarter. - [Hannah] Oh! 1213 00:49:36,335 --> 00:49:37,668 [speaker 1] Oh, God. No, no. 1214 00:49:37,751 --> 00:49:39,126 [Hannah] Oh, my God. 1215 00:49:39,876 --> 00:49:41,918 You're a horrible friend. 1216 00:49:42,001 --> 00:49:44,293 This whole shitty night only happened 1217 00:49:44,376 --> 00:49:46,793 'cause you're obsessed with having the perfect prom night. 1218 00:49:46,876 --> 00:49:49,710 - You wanted to find a date too. - Okay. 1219 00:49:49,793 --> 00:49:51,668 If it was that bad, you could have just left. 1220 00:49:51,751 --> 00:49:53,543 And abandoned you in a frat house? 1221 00:49:53,626 --> 00:49:56,043 When have I ever left your side? 1222 00:49:56,126 --> 00:49:58,751 I cannot believe I let you drag me out 1223 00:49:58,835 --> 00:50:00,668 for the gay prom of my dreams. 1224 00:50:00,751 --> 00:50:03,335 Of course, this was always about you. 1225 00:50:03,418 --> 00:50:05,043 - Okay. - Do you realize everything is 1226 00:50:05,126 --> 00:50:06,251 always about you? 1227 00:50:06,335 --> 00:50:07,710 [Jess] If I hadn't convinced you to come, 1228 00:50:07,793 --> 00:50:09,376 you would've been crawling right back to Greg 1229 00:50:09,460 --> 00:50:11,501 and you would have acted like nothing happened, 1230 00:50:11,585 --> 00:50:14,585 that everything was okay, like you always do. 1231 00:50:14,668 --> 00:50:17,543 I'm, actually... I'm being a super-ally right now. 1232 00:50:17,626 --> 00:50:18,918 Do not act like you understand 1233 00:50:19,001 --> 00:50:21,085 the pressures of coming out 'cause you really don't! 1234 00:50:21,168 --> 00:50:23,751 [speaker 2] Oh, so sorry, would you mind keeping it down a little? 1235 00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:26,210 We support whatever's going on between the two of you, but we're trying... 1236 00:50:26,293 --> 00:50:27,626 - I'll fucking kill you! - Don't you fucking 1237 00:50:27,710 --> 00:50:28,710 interrupt my best friend! 1238 00:50:28,793 --> 00:50:29,793 - Okay, Jesus Christ. - Okay. 1239 00:50:29,876 --> 00:50:32,793 Really romantic to have a moment at a fucking fountain at a college! 1240 00:50:32,876 --> 00:50:34,293 - Okay, have a good night. Thank you. - Wow! 1241 00:50:34,376 --> 00:50:35,460 - Wow! - [speaker 1] Wow. 1242 00:50:35,543 --> 00:50:36,626 - Wow! - Wow! 1243 00:50:36,710 --> 00:50:37,918 - Hon. Hon! - Wow! 1244 00:50:39,210 --> 00:50:40,876 [Hannah] Hope your wish doesn't come true! 1245 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,626 [speaker 1] Well, it did come true! It was to have your face fucked up! 1246 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,001 [Jess] Hannah 1247 00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:48,293 [cellphone buzzing] 1248 00:50:48,376 --> 00:50:50,126 There is no way you're taking that phone call 1249 00:50:50,210 --> 00:50:51,501 instead of finishing this with me. 1250 00:50:53,126 --> 00:50:55,501 [Jess] I won't have a shot at prom queen without him. 1251 00:50:55,585 --> 00:50:56,585 Are you serious? 1252 00:50:56,668 --> 00:50:59,335 - [Hannah scoffs] - [cellphone continues buzzing] 1253 00:50:59,418 --> 00:51:00,418 Hannah! 1254 00:51:00,918 --> 00:51:02,960 - [cellphone continues buzzing] - Fucking... 1255 00:51:03,043 --> 00:51:05,585 [sighs] 1256 00:51:05,668 --> 00:51:08,501 [♪ somber music playing] 1257 00:51:09,585 --> 00:51:10,585 What do you want? 1258 00:51:10,668 --> 00:51:13,293 [Luca] [over phone] So, who's the cool guy in the picture that you posted? 1259 00:51:13,376 --> 00:51:14,376 Why do you care? 1260 00:51:14,460 --> 00:51:17,168 [over phone] You seemed to have your hands pretty full when I came by earlier. 1261 00:51:17,251 --> 00:51:19,043 Jess, I'm sorry. Come on. 1262 00:51:19,126 --> 00:51:21,085 I made a mistake. She doesn't mean anything to me. 1263 00:51:21,168 --> 00:51:23,710 And FYI, she tried to get me to take her to prom 1264 00:51:23,793 --> 00:51:24,876 and I said no. 1265 00:51:25,293 --> 00:51:27,376 - You are the one I want to go with. - [sighs] 1266 00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:29,460 Yeah, well, Hannah and I, we're actually 1267 00:51:29,543 --> 00:51:31,376 at this really cool warehouse show at Rutgers, 1268 00:51:31,460 --> 00:51:32,626 so I got to go. 1269 00:51:35,668 --> 00:51:37,876 [indistinct chatter] 1270 00:51:38,876 --> 00:51:42,126 Alright, your Shirley Temple and virgin screwdriver. 1271 00:51:42,626 --> 00:51:44,168 Thank you kindly, bartender. 1272 00:51:44,251 --> 00:51:46,043 And-And might I add, I am very surprised 1273 00:51:46,126 --> 00:51:48,418 that your guys don't ask for ID at this establishment. 1274 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,168 I'm 16. 1275 00:51:50,251 --> 00:51:54,210 - [♪ rock music playing on speakers] - [patrons chattering] 1276 00:52:02,085 --> 00:52:03,085 Whiskey ginger ale. 1277 00:52:03,168 --> 00:52:04,835 I don't serve minors. 1278 00:52:06,460 --> 00:52:07,626 Can I just sit here? 1279 00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:11,085 [vocalist] [over microphone] Alright, for this next song, 1280 00:52:11,168 --> 00:52:13,335 we got a very special guest. 1281 00:52:13,418 --> 00:52:16,626 Give it up for Angie Adams! 1282 00:52:16,710 --> 00:52:20,460 [crowd cheers and applauds] 1283 00:52:21,335 --> 00:52:23,043 One, two, three, four! 1284 00:52:23,126 --> 00:52:27,543 [♪ lively rock music playing] 1285 00:52:28,835 --> 00:52:29,876 Hannah? 1286 00:52:34,335 --> 00:52:35,960 - [Jess groans] - [speaker] Watch it! 1287 00:52:36,376 --> 00:52:38,751 - Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I... - No, no, no, it's no problem. 1288 00:52:39,293 --> 00:52:40,960 - Hi. - Hi. 1289 00:52:41,376 --> 00:52:44,126 Uh, have you, have you seen Hannah? 1290 00:52:44,210 --> 00:52:45,918 No. Why? Is everything okay? 1291 00:52:46,001 --> 00:52:49,835 Yeah, no, I just, uh, I told her that we did it. 1292 00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:53,585 Shit. Um, okay. 1293 00:52:53,668 --> 00:52:54,710 How did she take it? 1294 00:52:55,126 --> 00:52:58,626 She... she threw up in a fountain and then she ran away. 1295 00:52:59,418 --> 00:53:00,418 Better than I expected. 1296 00:53:00,501 --> 00:53:02,460 - [chuckles] - Hey, I'm really sorry, 1297 00:53:02,543 --> 00:53:04,001 that car ride was super awkward. 1298 00:53:04,085 --> 00:53:05,418 I'm sure that your boyfriend is great 1299 00:53:05,501 --> 00:53:07,460 and I hope that you guys are really happy together. 1300 00:53:07,543 --> 00:53:09,710 - Truly, I... - Uh, actually, he cheated on me. 1301 00:53:11,043 --> 00:53:13,126 That fucker. We should kill him. 1302 00:53:13,210 --> 00:53:14,376 - [Jess laughs] - Right? 1303 00:53:15,751 --> 00:53:18,335 Uh, hey, do you maybe wanna go sit and talk for a minute? 1304 00:53:19,085 --> 00:53:20,668 Uh, yeah. 1305 00:53:20,751 --> 00:53:22,085 - Okay. - Okay. 1306 00:53:22,626 --> 00:53:25,001 [vocalist] [singing] ♪ You tear it down, whoa-oh ♪ 1307 00:53:25,085 --> 00:53:26,251 ♪ And I'll ♪ 1308 00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:27,335 Jacob? 1309 00:53:27,418 --> 00:53:29,001 [vocalist] ♪ Never make a sound ♪ 1310 00:53:29,085 --> 00:53:32,335 [crowd cheering] 1311 00:53:35,001 --> 00:53:38,168 [♪ upbeat music playing] 1312 00:53:42,585 --> 00:53:43,585 Hannah? 1313 00:53:44,043 --> 00:53:45,710 A-Angie. 1314 00:53:47,626 --> 00:53:48,876 What are you doing here? 1315 00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,210 My sister's crashing here. She invited me to play a little bit. 1316 00:53:51,293 --> 00:53:52,793 What are... what are you doing here? 1317 00:53:52,876 --> 00:53:54,960 I came to grab house keys from my brother. 1318 00:53:55,043 --> 00:53:58,210 I've... I've had kind of a rough night. 1319 00:53:58,293 --> 00:54:00,876 Yeah, I can see that. What happened? 1320 00:54:01,210 --> 00:54:04,376 I had the good fortune of seeing someone's boobs for the first time... 1321 00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:05,460 [chuckles] 1322 00:54:05,543 --> 00:54:07,668 ...and then I promptly sneezed blood on them. 1323 00:54:07,751 --> 00:54:09,585 [chuckles] Are you serious? 1324 00:54:10,460 --> 00:54:11,876 That's incredible. 1325 00:54:12,626 --> 00:54:14,543 Start at the beginning. I need to know everything. 1326 00:54:17,418 --> 00:54:19,543 I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed 1327 00:54:19,626 --> 00:54:21,876 to drop the ball on two potential prom dates. 1328 00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:23,168 That's... 1329 00:54:23,251 --> 00:54:26,043 Yeah, okay, well, your sister smashing a glass 1330 00:54:26,126 --> 00:54:27,751 over the head of one of them didn't help. 1331 00:54:28,126 --> 00:54:32,085 Yeah. Yeah, taking down frat bros: the lesbian agenda. 1332 00:54:32,168 --> 00:54:33,335 [both chuckle] 1333 00:54:33,418 --> 00:54:35,918 What? What are you talking about? 1334 00:54:36,001 --> 00:54:37,835 Oh, my God, Jess, come on. She's my sister. 1335 00:54:37,918 --> 00:54:39,460 You think I don't know she's gay? 1336 00:54:40,085 --> 00:54:43,126 I've caught her trying to leave the house in my jorts, like, 30 times. 1337 00:54:45,835 --> 00:54:46,876 Can I ask you something? 1338 00:54:47,876 --> 00:54:51,001 Why do you care so much about finding a prom date? 1339 00:54:53,168 --> 00:54:55,960 I guess, uh... [sighs] 1340 00:54:56,585 --> 00:54:59,293 going alone is kind of like admitting 1341 00:54:59,376 --> 00:55:00,960 that no one wanted to go with you. 1342 00:55:01,043 --> 00:55:05,085 But going with someone popular means I've made it. 1343 00:55:05,501 --> 00:55:06,876 [Greg] Oh, there you are. 1344 00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,043 You can't leave me like that, Dad... I mean, Jake. 1345 00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:11,085 [sighs] You know I have abandon... 1346 00:55:11,501 --> 00:55:12,835 Oh, my God! 1347 00:55:12,918 --> 00:55:13,918 If you're here... 1348 00:55:14,001 --> 00:55:15,293 - [Jess] No. - ...I gotta go get my girl. 1349 00:55:15,376 --> 00:55:16,376 - [Jacob] Wait. - [Jess] No, no, no. 1350 00:55:16,460 --> 00:55:18,335 [Jacob] Um, I'm gonna go grab him. Go find Hannah. 1351 00:55:18,418 --> 00:55:20,168 - [Jess] Okay. - Hannah? Excuse me, sorry. 1352 00:55:20,251 --> 00:55:21,918 Hannah! Sorry, guys. 1353 00:55:22,001 --> 00:55:23,085 Hannah, where... 1354 00:55:23,168 --> 00:55:24,501 - Hannah! - Jess. 1355 00:55:24,585 --> 00:55:25,793 Luca. 1356 00:55:25,876 --> 00:55:28,085 [♪ "It Haunts You Now" by Go Betty Go playing] 1357 00:55:28,168 --> 00:55:29,585 [crowd cheering] 1358 00:55:31,876 --> 00:55:34,751 [vocalist] [singing] ♪ Takin' all the places where you've been... ♪ 1359 00:55:34,835 --> 00:55:37,043 [Angie] So your first time seeing boobs 1360 00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:39,168 was in front of 25 frat bros? 1361 00:55:39,251 --> 00:55:40,668 That's not how it goes for everyone? 1362 00:55:40,751 --> 00:55:41,918 Well, I mean... 1363 00:55:42,001 --> 00:55:43,001 Um, I just, I... 1364 00:55:43,085 --> 00:55:44,793 I don't know, I feel like you've never done anything 1365 00:55:44,876 --> 00:55:45,876 half as embarrassing. 1366 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:47,876 Hey, don't let my fat ass 1367 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:49,335 and perfect personality fool you. 1368 00:55:49,418 --> 00:55:52,085 I went to circus camp until I was 15. 1369 00:55:52,168 --> 00:55:53,501 You're lying. 1370 00:55:55,168 --> 00:55:56,376 Whoa! 1371 00:55:56,460 --> 00:55:57,626 [both laugh] 1372 00:55:58,210 --> 00:55:59,710 - Yeah. - I have a feeling you use 1373 00:55:59,793 --> 00:56:01,376 that trick on all the girls. 1374 00:56:01,460 --> 00:56:04,460 Not on all the girls. Just the ones I'm trying to kiss. 1375 00:56:08,793 --> 00:56:09,793 Okay, I gotta ask. 1376 00:56:09,876 --> 00:56:12,376 Where is the student council kid you're always with? 1377 00:56:12,876 --> 00:56:13,876 Greg? 1378 00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:15,293 Oh, I broke up with him. 1379 00:56:15,876 --> 00:56:16,960 Yeah, I'm a lesbian. 1380 00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,626 Well, I can't imagine those clothes are really comfortable. 1381 00:56:21,710 --> 00:56:23,335 Should we go up to my sister's room 1382 00:56:23,418 --> 00:56:25,085 to find you something else? 1383 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:26,960 Yeah, sure. 1384 00:56:29,460 --> 00:56:33,001 ♪ You're faking all the friends that you made ♪ 1385 00:56:33,376 --> 00:56:36,126 ♪ Simply filling an empty place... ♪ 1386 00:56:36,626 --> 00:56:39,168 [Greg] Please, please, please? 1387 00:56:39,251 --> 00:56:42,251 Has anyone seen a girl named Hannah? 1388 00:56:42,335 --> 00:56:47,126 She's 5'5" and the most perfect angel in the world! Please! 1389 00:56:47,543 --> 00:56:49,710 - I don't have time for this. - Oh, Jess, I fucked up one time. 1390 00:56:49,793 --> 00:56:51,710 It's really over because I made one mistake? 1391 00:56:51,793 --> 00:56:53,751 You never treated me properly, Luca. 1392 00:56:53,835 --> 00:56:55,293 I did a lot of things wrong. 1393 00:56:55,376 --> 00:56:56,793 I should have introduced you to my parents. 1394 00:56:56,876 --> 00:56:58,460 I was confused. But I'm not anymore. 1395 00:56:58,543 --> 00:57:00,835 - It's too late. - Come on. I swear I can make things right. 1396 00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:02,376 I want to go to prom together. 1397 00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:04,376 Like together-together. 1398 00:57:04,460 --> 00:57:07,126 Prom king and prom queen. 1399 00:57:09,501 --> 00:57:13,251 [♪ "It Haunts You Now" continues playing] 1400 00:57:14,376 --> 00:57:15,626 [♪ music gets muffled] 1401 00:57:15,710 --> 00:57:17,835 So, you can, um, 1402 00:57:18,210 --> 00:57:21,460 - put... this on? - [Hannah] Amazing. 1403 00:57:21,543 --> 00:57:23,751 Or we can both take our shirts off. 1404 00:57:24,876 --> 00:57:26,376 I would like to do that. 1405 00:57:26,460 --> 00:57:27,460 Yeah. 1406 00:57:31,751 --> 00:57:33,751 - [Hannah grunts] - [Angie chuckles] 1407 00:57:34,418 --> 00:57:37,168 [kisses smacking] 1408 00:57:41,335 --> 00:57:44,210 [moaning, panting] 1409 00:57:45,168 --> 00:57:47,043 Um... wait, sorry. 1410 00:57:47,585 --> 00:57:50,293 Not to be, like, so deeply corny, 1411 00:57:50,376 --> 00:57:53,751 but will you go to prom with me? 1412 00:57:53,835 --> 00:57:56,251 [chuckles] Yeah. 1413 00:57:56,335 --> 00:57:59,001 [kisses smacking] 1414 00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:02,126 - Is it okay if I undo your... - Yeah, yeah, of course. 1415 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:05,960 Wait, wait. 1416 00:58:06,585 --> 00:58:08,793 Your real last name is Adams, right? 1417 00:58:08,876 --> 00:58:10,126 Yeah, why? 1418 00:58:10,210 --> 00:58:12,710 Yeah, no, no, nothing, just... just keep going. 1419 00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:13,793 [softly] Okay. 1420 00:58:15,251 --> 00:58:16,251 [Hannah gasps] 1421 00:58:16,335 --> 00:58:19,460 [Hannah moaning] 1422 00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:25,376 This is the best night of my life. 1423 00:58:26,751 --> 00:58:28,501 [kisses smacking] 1424 00:58:28,585 --> 00:58:30,210 [door opens] 1425 00:58:30,293 --> 00:58:31,960 - Hannah? - Greg! 1426 00:58:32,501 --> 00:58:34,960 What are you doing? I've been looking for you all night. 1427 00:58:35,293 --> 00:58:37,210 - I thought you guys broke up? - We did break up. 1428 00:58:37,293 --> 00:58:40,876 No, I told you I changed colleges for you, and then you ran out of my house. 1429 00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:42,668 Yeah, that's a breakup. 1430 00:58:43,210 --> 00:58:44,335 What? 1431 00:58:44,418 --> 00:58:46,418 Hannah, how-how could you do this to me? 1432 00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:47,668 I'm in love with you. 1433 00:58:47,751 --> 00:58:49,710 Because I'm gay, Greg! 1434 00:58:49,793 --> 00:58:51,335 And I've always been gay. 1435 00:58:51,418 --> 00:58:54,210 And I, I was too afraid to say it before, 1436 00:58:54,293 --> 00:58:56,585 but I'm not afraid now. 1437 00:58:56,668 --> 00:58:59,835 So I'm sorry, but it's over. 1438 00:59:01,251 --> 00:59:03,418 So our relationship was a lie? 1439 00:59:10,335 --> 00:59:12,043 Ugh, gross. 1440 00:59:12,126 --> 00:59:14,501 [Hannah] No, Angie. No, uh, I can explain! 1441 00:59:15,001 --> 00:59:16,460 I want you to be my girlfriend. 1442 00:59:16,751 --> 00:59:19,251 Dude, she doesn't want you here. Okay? Why don't you just go home? 1443 00:59:19,335 --> 00:59:20,835 [laughs] Who the fuck are you, tall boy? 1444 00:59:20,918 --> 00:59:22,335 - [Jess] Guys, please. - I'm average height. 1445 00:59:22,418 --> 00:59:24,293 - What are you talking about? - Geez, look at this sweater. 1446 00:59:24,376 --> 00:59:26,460 - You get this at a garage sale? - What are you, a Formula 1 racer? 1447 00:59:26,543 --> 00:59:27,543 What are you talking about? 1448 00:59:27,626 --> 00:59:29,085 - What the fuck? - Judging me what I'm wearing? 1449 00:59:29,168 --> 00:59:30,293 - [Jess] Guys. - Eat fist, bitch! 1450 00:59:30,376 --> 00:59:31,793 - [punch thuds] - Get the fuck off of him! 1451 00:59:31,876 --> 00:59:34,251 Hannah! Hannah, stop, you're gonna make things worse! 1452 00:59:34,335 --> 00:59:35,418 Yeah, you tell her, babe! 1453 00:59:35,835 --> 00:59:36,960 I'm not afraid to hit a girl. 1454 00:59:37,043 --> 00:59:38,126 You just fucking punched him. 1455 00:59:38,210 --> 00:59:39,835 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1456 00:59:39,918 --> 00:59:41,543 I don't do drama. 1457 00:59:42,543 --> 00:59:43,751 I'll wait for you in the car. 1458 00:59:46,876 --> 00:59:48,335 - [Jacob groans] - Oh, my God. 1459 00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:49,543 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1460 00:59:49,626 --> 00:59:51,126 Yeah. No, it's fine. It's... 1461 00:59:51,210 --> 00:59:52,251 It's just my face. 1462 00:59:52,335 --> 00:59:54,001 Oh, so now you give a shit? 1463 00:59:54,085 --> 00:59:55,876 Take it easy, alright? She was telling him to leave. 1464 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,001 They're-They're not together. 1465 00:59:59,043 --> 01:00:00,043 Right? 1466 01:00:00,126 --> 01:00:01,710 [Jess] I-I just need him for prom. 1467 01:00:01,793 --> 01:00:02,793 Are you serious? 1468 01:00:03,460 --> 01:00:04,668 - Jacob. - No, it's, it's... 1469 01:00:04,751 --> 01:00:06,335 [Hannah laughs] 1470 01:00:06,793 --> 01:00:08,418 Don't fucking start, Hannah. 1471 01:00:08,501 --> 01:00:12,168 Oh, no, it's just, it's-it's so predictable! 1472 01:00:12,251 --> 01:00:14,043 Of course you were gonna get back together with him. 1473 01:00:14,126 --> 01:00:16,335 - Of course! - Well, I'm not gonna apologize 1474 01:00:16,418 --> 01:00:18,085 for having the confidence to go after what I want. 1475 01:00:18,168 --> 01:00:19,543 You know, I hate to break it to you, Jess, 1476 01:00:19,626 --> 01:00:22,710 but it's not confidence, it's desperation. 1477 01:00:22,793 --> 01:00:25,585 Desperation? You wanna talk about desperation? 1478 01:00:25,668 --> 01:00:27,960 You're a lesbian who dated a fucking dude for a year. 1479 01:00:28,043 --> 01:00:29,251 Yeah, Jess. 1480 01:00:29,335 --> 01:00:31,876 But at least I didn't treat you like dog shit in the process! 1481 01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:33,376 No. I guess just Greg. 1482 01:00:33,876 --> 01:00:36,001 [Luca] Babe, wrap it up so I can get Taco Bell! 1483 01:00:36,085 --> 01:00:37,501 I'm about to hit my fasting window. 1484 01:00:37,918 --> 01:00:40,168 Tacos and some lovin'! 1485 01:00:40,418 --> 01:00:42,168 You're really gonna let him talk to you like that? 1486 01:00:42,710 --> 01:00:45,335 Just so you have a fucking date tomorrow? 1487 01:00:46,168 --> 01:00:47,210 You're pathetic. 1488 01:00:47,751 --> 01:00:49,543 And you know, the really sad part is that 1489 01:00:49,626 --> 01:00:51,335 you know he doesn't care about you. 1490 01:00:51,418 --> 01:00:53,626 And you still choose him. 1491 01:00:53,710 --> 01:00:56,543 'Cause you're so fucking insecure, 1492 01:00:56,626 --> 01:00:59,751 you'd do anything to make people like you! 1493 01:00:59,835 --> 01:01:01,876 Well, sorry that I'd rather have one perfect night 1494 01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:04,585 than stay an unfuckable reject like you! 1495 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:06,960 [Hannah scoffs] 1496 01:01:10,210 --> 01:01:11,210 You know what? 1497 01:01:12,793 --> 01:01:14,293 I'm... [sighs] 1498 01:01:14,918 --> 01:01:18,210 I'm tired of you assuming 1499 01:01:18,293 --> 01:01:21,835 you can just treat me however you want 1500 01:01:22,418 --> 01:01:24,376 'cause you know I'll always be there for you. 1501 01:01:25,418 --> 01:01:26,876 Have fun at prom with Luca. 1502 01:01:27,501 --> 01:01:28,751 I'm done. 1503 01:01:30,335 --> 01:01:31,335 Hannah! 1504 01:01:37,501 --> 01:01:40,918 [♪ gentle music playing] 1505 01:01:41,835 --> 01:01:43,835 [birds chirping outside] 1506 01:01:45,793 --> 01:01:47,126 [doorbell chimes] 1507 01:01:51,085 --> 01:01:52,418 [sighs] 1508 01:01:59,876 --> 01:02:01,543 Last night was fucked. I... 1509 01:02:09,501 --> 01:02:11,501 ♪♪ 1510 01:02:23,251 --> 01:02:24,251 [inhales loudly] 1511 01:02:24,668 --> 01:02:25,668 Holy shit. 1512 01:02:26,793 --> 01:02:28,001 Good afternoon, Hannah. 1513 01:02:28,085 --> 01:02:29,335 How'd you get in here? 1514 01:02:29,418 --> 01:02:30,501 Your mom let us in. 1515 01:02:31,626 --> 01:02:32,626 She gave me a cookie. 1516 01:02:33,210 --> 01:02:35,001 The last cookie she'll ever give me. 1517 01:02:35,876 --> 01:02:36,876 "Us"? 1518 01:02:38,251 --> 01:02:39,251 [Melissa] 'Sup? 1519 01:02:39,668 --> 01:02:42,418 I assume you know my date Melissa, from the softball team? 1520 01:02:42,793 --> 01:02:43,793 Hi. 1521 01:02:43,876 --> 01:02:46,001 Melissa and I have been having a wonderful time so far. 1522 01:02:46,085 --> 01:02:48,418 She helped me get my frisbee from the top of the garage. 1523 01:02:48,876 --> 01:02:51,168 She helped me dunk my first basketball. 1524 01:02:51,251 --> 01:02:52,376 Lifted me up by the shoulders. 1525 01:02:52,460 --> 01:02:53,585 - [Hannah] Uh-huh. - Put it right in there. 1526 01:02:53,668 --> 01:02:55,168 - Felt like Shaq. - [Hannah] Uh-huh. 1527 01:02:55,251 --> 01:02:58,835 [sniffles] I just can't seem to remember you doing anything like that. 1528 01:02:59,376 --> 01:03:03,376 Okay. Um, can I talk to you alone for a minute, please? 1529 01:03:09,710 --> 01:03:14,668 Um... when you told my mom we broke up, you didn't, like, 1530 01:03:15,501 --> 01:03:17,085 tell her I was gay, right? 1531 01:03:18,376 --> 01:03:19,626 Of course not. 1532 01:03:20,085 --> 01:03:22,835 - [sighs deeply] - Hannah, I'm heartbroken, 1533 01:03:22,918 --> 01:03:23,960 I'm not a monster. 1534 01:03:24,335 --> 01:03:26,626 I just came to pick up my car. 1535 01:03:26,918 --> 01:03:29,001 I left it here last night when I went looking for you. 1536 01:03:29,085 --> 01:03:33,793 [sighs] I'm really sorry, Greg. 1537 01:03:33,876 --> 01:03:37,001 Did you know the whole time we were dating? 1538 01:03:38,543 --> 01:03:39,751 Yeah, pretty much. 1539 01:03:42,335 --> 01:03:43,876 I just can't believe it. [scoffs] 1540 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,043 All those weekends watching Rachel and Finn sing 1541 01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:48,126 their hearts out meant nothing to you. 1542 01:03:48,751 --> 01:03:50,376 You're super fun to hang out with, 1543 01:03:50,460 --> 01:03:53,793 but, like, I can't change who I am. 1544 01:03:54,418 --> 01:03:56,376 You think I'm upset that you're gay? 1545 01:03:57,210 --> 01:03:58,210 Yes? 1546 01:03:58,293 --> 01:04:00,876 Hannah, I'm upset because you pretended 1547 01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:02,126 to be in love with me. 1548 01:04:03,335 --> 01:04:05,876 My entire senior year revolved around you, 1549 01:04:06,335 --> 01:04:10,293 a-and you were just... using me. 1550 01:04:12,293 --> 01:04:13,668 If you had just told me, 1551 01:04:13,751 --> 01:04:16,210 I would have pretended to be your boyfriend. 1552 01:04:16,293 --> 01:04:18,918 Or if you didn't have the guts to do that, 1553 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:21,210 you should've dumped me. 1554 01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:23,960 But you could have at least been a decent friend. 1555 01:04:25,001 --> 01:04:28,126 Just so you know, I, uh, I transferred back to Stanford. 1556 01:04:28,210 --> 01:04:33,001 So... you don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore. 1557 01:04:34,335 --> 01:04:35,335 [Hannah sighs] 1558 01:04:35,418 --> 01:04:38,126 [♪ gentle music playing] 1559 01:04:45,168 --> 01:04:47,251 [muffled scream] 1560 01:04:47,335 --> 01:04:48,418 [pillow thuds] 1561 01:04:48,501 --> 01:04:49,501 [sharp exhale] 1562 01:04:49,835 --> 01:04:51,793 [car engine starts] 1563 01:05:02,168 --> 01:05:05,001 [♪ "BLOOM" by ill peach playing] 1564 01:05:05,085 --> 01:05:07,085 [speaker] Woo! 1565 01:05:07,543 --> 01:05:10,085 [soccer players] ...55, 56, 57, 1566 01:05:10,168 --> 01:05:13,460 58, 59, 60! 1567 01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:15,626 [excited chatter] 1568 01:05:15,710 --> 01:05:18,668 Oh, that's a full minute, baby! That's a new record! 1569 01:05:18,751 --> 01:05:20,501 Let's go! Woo! 1570 01:05:20,585 --> 01:05:22,043 That's it! That's it! 1571 01:05:22,126 --> 01:05:23,335 All right, dude. You're next. 1572 01:05:23,418 --> 01:05:24,543 Yeah, thank you, thank you. 1573 01:05:24,626 --> 01:05:26,168 Uh, thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. 1574 01:05:27,210 --> 01:05:28,501 - Congrats, bro. - What's up, man? 1575 01:05:28,585 --> 01:05:30,876 - Lemme get a picture real quick. - Yeah, let's do it, let's do it. 1576 01:05:31,710 --> 01:05:33,085 - Alright. - [Luca] Let's go. 1577 01:05:33,168 --> 01:05:34,918 ♪ That sparkle ♪ 1578 01:05:35,001 --> 01:05:38,668 ♪ It goes away and then you know ♪ 1579 01:05:38,751 --> 01:05:40,293 [indistinct chatter] 1580 01:05:40,376 --> 01:05:45,293 ♪ Excuses start to weigh more than gold ♪ 1581 01:05:47,126 --> 01:05:50,085 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1582 01:05:50,835 --> 01:05:52,335 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1583 01:05:52,418 --> 01:05:54,960 What's up, sourpuss? Want some bubbly? 1584 01:05:55,043 --> 01:05:56,251 No. 1585 01:05:56,335 --> 01:05:57,668 Okay. More for me. 1586 01:05:58,168 --> 01:06:00,251 You know, I kinda wish we were going straight 1587 01:06:00,335 --> 01:06:03,668 to the after party, if ya know what I mean. 1588 01:06:06,626 --> 01:06:11,376 [sings] ♪ I used a condom with Janine, so we don't have to ♪ 1589 01:06:13,085 --> 01:06:14,210 What? 1590 01:06:14,668 --> 01:06:17,335 You should be amped, it smells great down there. 1591 01:06:17,418 --> 01:06:19,418 - Okay. - Ooh, I know. 1592 01:06:19,501 --> 01:06:21,710 Do you wanna meet my parents? 1593 01:06:23,751 --> 01:06:24,835 Yeah. 1594 01:06:25,501 --> 01:06:27,751 Alright, let me go find my mom. 1595 01:06:29,460 --> 01:06:32,043 Mom! Come meet Jess, you slut! 1596 01:06:33,501 --> 01:06:36,168 Hey, sorry to bother you, would you mind taking a picture of us? 1597 01:06:36,251 --> 01:06:37,918 Keara's absolutely beefing the self-timer. 1598 01:06:38,001 --> 01:06:40,668 It's not me, you bitch, it's Jordan's janky Android. 1599 01:06:40,751 --> 01:06:41,835 Just use yours. 1600 01:06:41,918 --> 01:06:43,960 Please, no. I share an iCloud account with my parents, 1601 01:06:44,043 --> 01:06:46,126 and I know one of you is gonna flash tit. 1602 01:06:46,210 --> 01:06:48,126 [Jess] I can just take it on my phone and AirDrop it. 1603 01:06:48,210 --> 01:06:49,293 Perfect. Yeah. 1604 01:06:53,626 --> 01:06:54,835 [all giggling] 1605 01:06:54,918 --> 01:06:57,460 Guess Anne and Carm are missing out on my nips again this year. 1606 01:06:57,543 --> 01:06:58,960 [laughter] 1607 01:07:04,043 --> 01:07:05,751 [group giggles] 1608 01:07:07,626 --> 01:07:09,543 - I got it. - [Alanah] Ugh, you're an angel. 1609 01:07:09,626 --> 01:07:11,501 Come take a picture with us. Hannah too, obviously. 1610 01:07:11,585 --> 01:07:12,668 [Keara] Oh, yeah, go get her. 1611 01:07:12,751 --> 01:07:17,001 Um... no, yeah, actually, I'm gonna go pick her up. 1612 01:07:17,085 --> 01:07:19,793 But we'll meet you guys at prom. A-And you look really cute by the way. 1613 01:07:19,876 --> 01:07:21,418 - [Alanah] You too! - [Keara] See you there! 1614 01:07:24,710 --> 01:07:26,543 Time to meet my slam piece. 1615 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,626 [exhales] Jess? 1616 01:07:32,876 --> 01:07:34,126 [line beeping] 1617 01:07:34,210 --> 01:07:36,751 [automated voice] [on phone] The number you've dialed is not in service. 1618 01:07:36,835 --> 01:07:39,126 [Jess] Ugh. Fucking fountain phone! 1619 01:07:39,460 --> 01:07:40,501 [sighs] 1620 01:07:41,751 --> 01:07:43,126 Twenty-seven minutes? 1621 01:07:50,001 --> 01:07:52,710 [engine roaring] 1622 01:07:52,793 --> 01:07:55,501 [♪ upbeat adventurous music playing] 1623 01:08:07,335 --> 01:08:08,543 [button beeps] 1624 01:08:14,210 --> 01:08:16,043 - Home? - [dog barking] 1625 01:08:17,251 --> 01:08:19,251 ♪♪ 1626 01:08:23,293 --> 01:08:26,210 Hannah! I'm a fucking idiot, okay? 1627 01:08:26,293 --> 01:08:28,918 You were right, I was putting dudes ahead of you, 1628 01:08:29,001 --> 01:08:30,626 which literally makes no sense 1629 01:08:30,710 --> 01:08:33,001 because nothing could compare to our friendship! 1630 01:08:33,501 --> 01:08:35,418 I won't go to prom without you! 1631 01:08:36,501 --> 01:08:37,585 Hey. 1632 01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:39,710 She's not here. 1633 01:08:39,793 --> 01:08:41,126 Jacob. 1634 01:08:42,585 --> 01:08:43,585 [window thuds] 1635 01:08:43,668 --> 01:08:44,668 [sighs] 1636 01:08:47,043 --> 01:08:48,168 [door opens] 1637 01:08:52,876 --> 01:08:54,001 It's all you, doggie. 1638 01:08:55,418 --> 01:08:57,418 ♪♪ 1639 01:08:58,335 --> 01:08:59,668 - [automated voice] Lucy. - [Lucy barks] 1640 01:09:01,793 --> 01:09:03,085 Ah! 1641 01:09:03,168 --> 01:09:04,751 Oh, Lucy! 1642 01:09:04,835 --> 01:09:06,043 - [Lucy barking] - [Barb] Oh, hi. 1643 01:09:06,126 --> 01:09:07,918 Oh, yes, you're home! 1644 01:09:08,001 --> 01:09:09,001 Where were you? 1645 01:09:09,085 --> 01:09:10,960 - [Lucy barks] - [Barb] Where was my baby? 1646 01:09:11,043 --> 01:09:13,751 - [Lucy barking] - [Barb] Oh, yes, yes! 1647 01:09:13,835 --> 01:09:17,251 I love you! I was so worried about my baby! 1648 01:09:17,335 --> 01:09:19,126 - [Lucy barking] - [Barb] You're my little baby! 1649 01:09:19,210 --> 01:09:22,251 - [engine starts] - Oh, yes. Oh. 1650 01:09:23,001 --> 01:09:25,293 - Like, it looks bad, but... - Does it hurt? 1651 01:09:25,835 --> 01:09:29,085 Uh, yeah, I mean, probably about as much as a trophy to the head. 1652 01:09:29,793 --> 01:09:31,001 [Jess] I'm so sorry. 1653 01:09:31,085 --> 01:09:32,710 - Ah. - For everything. 1654 01:09:33,876 --> 01:09:36,126 You've been so great, and I just keep fucking it up. 1655 01:09:37,668 --> 01:09:39,501 Well, this might be my head injury talking, 1656 01:09:39,585 --> 01:09:41,876 but I still like you. 1657 01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:44,001 I like you, too. 1658 01:09:46,543 --> 01:09:48,585 But we probably shouldn't do this right now. 1659 01:09:49,001 --> 01:09:52,418 Right, yeah. No, you-you gotta figure things out with Hannah first. 1660 01:09:52,876 --> 01:09:55,543 Yeah, and I, um... 1661 01:09:56,710 --> 01:09:59,668 I should really just focus on myself for a bit, 1662 01:10:00,043 --> 01:10:01,960 make sure I'm dating for the right reasons. 1663 01:10:02,210 --> 01:10:04,960 Self-awareness. Gross. 1664 01:10:05,043 --> 01:10:06,585 [both laugh] 1665 01:10:09,001 --> 01:10:11,668 Look, I don't expect you to wait for me or anything. 1666 01:10:12,293 --> 01:10:14,668 But when I'm ready, you'll be the first person I call. 1667 01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:16,960 Deal. 1668 01:10:27,543 --> 01:10:30,085 It's probably for the best that we don't start dating now. 1669 01:10:30,835 --> 01:10:32,335 I lent Hannah my tux for prom, 1670 01:10:32,418 --> 01:10:35,085 so if you had asked me, it would have just been this. 1671 01:10:35,168 --> 01:10:36,668 Wait. Hannah went to prom? 1672 01:10:36,751 --> 01:10:39,001 Eh, she said something about meeting up with the drama club. 1673 01:10:39,335 --> 01:10:40,335 What...? 1674 01:10:41,418 --> 01:10:42,626 Did you steal Luca's car? 1675 01:10:43,168 --> 01:10:44,251 Yes, I did. 1676 01:10:45,126 --> 01:10:46,210 [Jacob] God, that's hot. 1677 01:10:47,626 --> 01:10:48,626 [chuckles] 1678 01:10:49,710 --> 01:10:52,543 [♪ "Kiss Me Right Now" by Tatyana playing] 1679 01:10:52,626 --> 01:10:55,668 [students chattering] 1680 01:10:58,210 --> 01:11:01,585 ♪ Walked in the room, I couldn't look away ♪ 1681 01:11:02,626 --> 01:11:05,501 ♪ Stop me dead with that electric gaze ♪ 1682 01:11:06,585 --> 01:11:10,710 ♪ Something so comforting about your face ♪ 1683 01:11:10,793 --> 01:11:13,960 ♪ I don't know how, but we might be the same ♪ 1684 01:11:15,001 --> 01:11:18,043 ♪ Never expected I would feel this way ♪ 1685 01:11:19,126 --> 01:11:22,251 ♪ I keep my head down, take it day by day ♪ 1686 01:11:23,335 --> 01:11:25,876 ♪ I turned those feelings off so long ago ♪ 1687 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,501 Oh, my God, hurry up. We're so late. 1688 01:11:27,585 --> 01:11:31,376 ♪ I always thought it'd be impossible, but ♪ 1689 01:11:31,460 --> 01:11:33,251 - ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ - Hey. 1690 01:11:34,085 --> 01:11:35,668 Hey! Where's Jess? 1691 01:11:36,376 --> 01:11:37,710 How should I know, Hanky? 1692 01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:39,918 ♪ I've been dreaming 'bout it... ♪ 1693 01:11:40,001 --> 01:11:41,751 We're all set up backstage. Ready? 1694 01:11:41,835 --> 01:11:43,168 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Grace. 1695 01:11:44,835 --> 01:11:45,835 [sighs] 1696 01:11:45,918 --> 01:11:48,293 ♪ Mm-hmm, yeah ♪ 1697 01:11:48,376 --> 01:11:49,960 ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ 1698 01:11:50,835 --> 01:11:53,793 - ♪ I don't understand it, no ♪ - [indistinct chatter] 1699 01:11:54,710 --> 01:11:56,460 ♪ But I'm not gonna fight it... ♪ 1700 01:11:56,543 --> 01:11:58,251 - [stops music] - Hey, ho, everybody, hold up. 1701 01:11:58,335 --> 01:11:59,876 One second, hold up, stop dancing. 1702 01:11:59,960 --> 01:12:02,460 Alright, we're gonna take a quick break from the tunes 1703 01:12:02,543 --> 01:12:04,460 because the student fire marshal is here to give us 1704 01:12:04,543 --> 01:12:06,543 a brief safety announcement, okay? 1705 01:12:06,626 --> 01:12:07,626 It's very important. 1706 01:12:07,710 --> 01:12:09,960 And then after that, you can believe 1707 01:12:10,043 --> 01:12:12,751 that DJ Tony Turnpike is gonna be back 1708 01:12:12,835 --> 01:12:14,460 with the noise. 1709 01:12:14,543 --> 01:12:17,585 The noise and the boys. You understand? 1710 01:12:17,668 --> 01:12:18,876 That's all slang for... 1711 01:12:19,376 --> 01:12:20,876 I actually don't know what it's for. 1712 01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,168 - Here you go, Hannah. You go ahead. - Okay. Thanks. 1713 01:12:23,876 --> 01:12:25,918 - I'll leave you with this. - [air horn blaring] 1714 01:12:26,001 --> 01:12:27,210 [automated voice] Bush did 9/11. 1715 01:12:27,293 --> 01:12:28,710 ♪ Oh, Lord ♪ 1716 01:12:28,793 --> 01:12:29,918 Check that out. 1717 01:12:31,626 --> 01:12:33,835 [crowd murmurs] 1718 01:12:35,210 --> 01:12:36,210 [Hannah clears throat] 1719 01:12:37,043 --> 01:12:40,668 Hello, everybody in my grade. 1720 01:12:41,085 --> 01:12:44,960 I'm sorry to say that I am not up here to provide safety information, 1721 01:12:45,043 --> 01:12:49,501 as the title "student fire marshal" is completely made up. 1722 01:12:49,585 --> 01:12:50,751 [students gasping] 1723 01:12:50,835 --> 01:12:52,376 Student fire marshal's not real? 1724 01:12:53,876 --> 01:12:55,293 I was the student fire marshal. 1725 01:12:55,376 --> 01:12:56,710 Okay. Thank you. 1726 01:12:57,585 --> 01:12:59,751 I'm actually up here tonight because 1727 01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,168 I owe someone an apology. 1728 01:13:03,460 --> 01:13:05,668 This person is never anything less than himself 1729 01:13:06,460 --> 01:13:08,376 and taught me that I shouldn't be either. 1730 01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:10,960 So... 1731 01:13:13,293 --> 01:13:14,876 I have something I need to say. 1732 01:13:18,626 --> 01:13:19,835 I'm a lesbian. 1733 01:13:19,918 --> 01:13:21,376 [crowd whoops and cheers] 1734 01:13:21,460 --> 01:13:26,335 And even though it's, like, really scary to admit, 1735 01:13:26,418 --> 01:13:29,168 it feels way better than continuing 1736 01:13:29,251 --> 01:13:31,751 to pretend I'm something I'm not. 1737 01:13:31,835 --> 01:13:32,835 [crowd applauds] 1738 01:13:32,918 --> 01:13:34,126 Woo! 1739 01:13:36,168 --> 01:13:39,001 [crowd cheering] 1740 01:13:43,210 --> 01:13:44,876 - Why are we clapping? - [Alanah/Keara] Shh! 1741 01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:47,418 [Hannah] Now, I'm not as good a performer as he is, 1742 01:13:47,501 --> 01:13:51,751 but his love language is grand gestures, so... 1743 01:13:52,210 --> 01:13:54,668 [♪ music for Frank Sinatra's "L.O.V.E." playing] 1744 01:13:54,751 --> 01:13:58,085 Greg, our relationship might be over, 1745 01:13:58,585 --> 01:14:00,668 but I hope we can stay friends forever. 1746 01:14:01,376 --> 01:14:02,585 I love ya, buddy. 1747 01:14:04,668 --> 01:14:10,085 [sings] ♪ G is for a guy who loves his Glee ♪ 1748 01:14:10,876 --> 01:14:16,001 ♪ R is 'cause a ray of sun is he ♪ 1749 01:14:16,085 --> 01:14:18,710 Guys, I'm Greg! She's singing about me! 1750 01:14:18,793 --> 01:14:23,168 ♪ ...is very, very extraordinary ♪ 1751 01:14:23,251 --> 01:14:25,335 - ♪ G... ♪ - [Luca] Gay! 1752 01:14:25,418 --> 01:14:29,460 ♪ Even more of that special Greg that we adore ♪ 1753 01:14:30,543 --> 01:14:32,293 Hey. Shut the fuck up. 1754 01:14:32,376 --> 01:14:33,585 Hey. Where have you been? 1755 01:14:33,668 --> 01:14:35,251 What Hannah's doing is braver than anything 1756 01:14:35,335 --> 01:14:36,960 you've ever done in your entire life. 1757 01:14:37,043 --> 01:14:38,668 [Luca] Okay, chill. I was just kidding. 1758 01:14:38,751 --> 01:14:40,835 I didn't think that you two were friends anymore anyway. 1759 01:14:40,918 --> 01:14:42,960 Yeah, well, you were wrong. She's my best friend. 1760 01:14:43,043 --> 01:14:45,960 I'm just gonna be honest. You're kinda being a super mega bitch right now. 1761 01:14:46,043 --> 01:14:47,501 [♪ "L.O.V.E." continues playing] 1762 01:14:47,876 --> 01:14:49,376 - [corsage clatters] - We're done. 1763 01:14:50,001 --> 01:14:52,210 So you're gonna spend prom alone? 1764 01:14:52,293 --> 01:14:54,251 - ♪ Greg ♪ - I'm not alone. I have her. 1765 01:14:54,335 --> 01:14:57,543 ♪ Is a real friend when you're in need ♪ 1766 01:14:57,626 --> 01:15:00,501 Alright, swag. Have fun with Dykey D. 1767 01:15:00,585 --> 01:15:03,710 ♪ Greg has always been right there for me ♪ 1768 01:15:03,793 --> 01:15:05,043 [Hannah] It's true. 1769 01:15:05,126 --> 01:15:06,168 - ♪ Greg's... ♪ - [punch thuds] 1770 01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:07,710 [students gasping] 1771 01:15:07,793 --> 01:15:10,585 [♪ "L.O.V.E." continues playing] 1772 01:15:12,543 --> 01:15:15,168 - [microphone feedback squeals] - Uh, thank you, fire marshal. 1773 01:15:15,251 --> 01:15:16,418 Thank you so much. 1774 01:15:16,501 --> 01:15:18,418 Uh, very, uh, interesting announcement. 1775 01:15:18,501 --> 01:15:21,043 That got a little bit weird, folks, uh, in here, 1776 01:15:21,126 --> 01:15:23,043 so let's move right on to the love 1777 01:15:23,126 --> 01:15:25,793 with the first slow dance of the evening. 1778 01:15:25,876 --> 01:15:28,543 If you touch anything that seems to be changing size, 1779 01:15:28,626 --> 01:15:30,543 just take your hand right off it, okay? 1780 01:15:32,376 --> 01:15:35,835 The most important part about the pact is that this is our night. 1781 01:15:37,543 --> 01:15:39,335 It would be nothing without you. 1782 01:15:40,085 --> 01:15:43,585 - I love you. - Oh. I love you too. 1783 01:15:44,210 --> 01:15:46,835 [♪ "I Won't Fight It" by Andrew Belle playing] 1784 01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:48,126 May I have this dance? 1785 01:15:48,210 --> 01:15:50,335 Oh, I'd love nothing more. 1786 01:15:50,751 --> 01:15:52,793 ♪♪ 1787 01:15:52,876 --> 01:15:55,335 [both laughing] 1788 01:15:56,376 --> 01:15:57,793 I'm sorry for what I said. 1789 01:15:58,585 --> 01:16:00,751 I was projecting, and it was wrong. 1790 01:16:01,376 --> 01:16:02,418 [Hannah] It's okay. 1791 01:16:02,876 --> 01:16:05,543 I probably shouldn't have freaked out about you and Jacob. 1792 01:16:07,126 --> 01:16:09,168 If you guys really like each other, 1793 01:16:09,710 --> 01:16:11,085 I'm nothing but happy for you. 1794 01:16:11,543 --> 01:16:15,293 Thanks, Hans, but I, I am gonna take a break 1795 01:16:15,376 --> 01:16:17,001 from serious relationships right now. 1796 01:16:17,085 --> 01:16:18,876 Does that mean you're breaking up with me? 1797 01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:21,793 Oh, no, we are more than serious, bitch. 1798 01:16:21,876 --> 01:16:24,001 We are terminal. You are never getting rid of me. 1799 01:16:24,085 --> 01:16:26,085 - [Hannah laughs] - Ever. 1800 01:16:26,168 --> 01:16:27,710 Good. [chuckles] 1801 01:16:28,418 --> 01:16:32,460 ♪ I won't fight it, I won't ♪ 1802 01:16:32,543 --> 01:16:33,960 I'm gonna go get a drink. 1803 01:16:35,335 --> 01:16:36,960 Wait, did you...? 1804 01:16:37,335 --> 01:16:38,376 - Maybe. - [Jess gasps] 1805 01:16:38,460 --> 01:16:39,751 - Hannah! - Yeah. 1806 01:16:39,835 --> 01:16:41,876 Yeah. Unfuckable reject, who? 1807 01:16:41,960 --> 01:16:43,043 Oh, God. Yeah, okay. 1808 01:16:43,126 --> 01:16:45,710 Um... sorry, again. 1809 01:16:45,793 --> 01:16:47,835 Yeah, it was actually the greatest thing to ever happen. 1810 01:16:47,918 --> 01:16:51,460 Like, she came on to me. 1811 01:16:51,543 --> 01:16:53,668 - As well she should. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1812 01:16:53,751 --> 01:16:56,585 Okay. Alright, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get out of your way. 1813 01:16:56,668 --> 01:16:57,668 Mm-hmm. 1814 01:16:59,585 --> 01:17:01,251 ♪ A sharp tongue ♪ 1815 01:17:01,335 --> 01:17:02,793 - Love you. - I love you. 1816 01:17:02,876 --> 01:17:05,001 ♪ It's obvious ♪ 1817 01:17:05,335 --> 01:17:06,626 - Okay. - [Jess squeals] 1818 01:17:06,710 --> 01:17:10,126 ♪ There's a room in a hospital where your body is ♪ 1819 01:17:10,210 --> 01:17:11,210 [Jess laughs] 1820 01:17:12,043 --> 01:17:14,335 ♪ The B-bridge... ♪ 1821 01:17:14,418 --> 01:17:15,418 Quite a show. 1822 01:17:15,501 --> 01:17:16,710 [Hannah] [chuckles] Thank you. 1823 01:17:16,793 --> 01:17:19,668 Yeah, if you don't watch your back, I'm gonna start stealing your gigs. 1824 01:17:22,043 --> 01:17:26,793 I'm... I'm really sorry I dragged you into my shit. 1825 01:17:27,668 --> 01:17:28,876 It wasn't right. 1826 01:17:30,085 --> 01:17:34,293 But I wasn't lying when I said hanging out with you was the best night of my life. 1827 01:17:34,376 --> 01:17:37,501 So, now that everything's just, 1828 01:17:38,335 --> 01:17:39,543 phew, out in the open, 1829 01:17:39,626 --> 01:17:42,918 I just, I feel like there's one thing left to ask. 1830 01:17:45,085 --> 01:17:46,293 Will you be my girlfriend? 1831 01:17:46,960 --> 01:17:49,960 Uh, I... I don't think so. 1832 01:17:50,043 --> 01:17:52,585 - Huh? - Uh, we, like, hooked up once. 1833 01:17:53,001 --> 01:17:54,251 Yeah, no, I just, I'm... 1834 01:17:54,668 --> 01:17:56,543 [stammers] We-we were so connected. I... 1835 01:17:56,626 --> 01:17:57,960 Yeah. Uh, 1836 01:17:58,335 --> 01:17:59,960 I mean, look, I-I think you're great, 1837 01:18:00,043 --> 01:18:02,085 and obviously I'm attracted to you, 1838 01:18:02,168 --> 01:18:05,043 but it's, like, you just came out. 1839 01:18:05,918 --> 01:18:08,335 To, like, the whole school in a musical number? 1840 01:18:08,418 --> 01:18:09,626 [Hannah] Mm. 1841 01:18:09,710 --> 01:18:13,085 Just feel like you have a few things to sort out identity-wise. 1842 01:18:13,168 --> 01:18:16,960 Yeah. Yeah, no, that, that, that, like, fully makes sense. 1843 01:18:17,043 --> 01:18:18,210 Yeah, for sure. 1844 01:18:18,293 --> 01:18:19,543 Do you have any queer friends? 1845 01:18:20,876 --> 01:18:24,626 Well, if it's not too awkward, I'd love to be your first. 1846 01:18:27,376 --> 01:18:28,376 Yeah, sure. 1847 01:18:29,793 --> 01:18:33,251 Is it normal for lesbians to be friends with the people they've hooked up with? 1848 01:18:33,335 --> 01:18:34,543 [chuckles] 1849 01:18:34,626 --> 01:18:36,668 You have so much to learn. 1850 01:18:36,751 --> 01:18:38,293 [both chuckle] 1851 01:18:39,335 --> 01:18:41,376 - I know. - [both laugh] 1852 01:18:43,001 --> 01:18:45,501 [Greg] Softball's harder than baseball, that's what you're saying? 1853 01:18:46,418 --> 01:18:47,793 Do you mind if I cut in? 1854 01:18:49,043 --> 01:18:50,168 [Melissa] Nah, it's cool. 1855 01:18:51,751 --> 01:18:53,835 Grace. Um, great moves up there. 1856 01:18:53,918 --> 01:18:55,585 - [Grace chuckles] - How's your night going? 1857 01:18:55,668 --> 01:18:56,751 Really good. 1858 01:18:57,376 --> 01:19:00,585 Um, but, Greg, I actually have something to tell you. 1859 01:19:00,835 --> 01:19:02,210 [deep breath] 1860 01:19:02,293 --> 01:19:04,418 I only helped with your promposal 1861 01:19:04,501 --> 01:19:06,210 because I wanted to spend time with you. 1862 01:19:06,460 --> 01:19:09,251 And when I learned your top choice for college was Stanford, 1863 01:19:09,335 --> 01:19:10,835 that's the only place I applied. 1864 01:19:11,501 --> 01:19:13,751 One time after gym class, 1865 01:19:13,835 --> 01:19:15,751 I even snuck into the shower you used 1866 01:19:15,835 --> 01:19:17,251 and collected some of your hair. 1867 01:19:17,668 --> 01:19:20,001 I keep it in my locket, and every so often, 1868 01:19:20,085 --> 01:19:21,585 I sniff it for good luck. 1869 01:19:26,043 --> 01:19:27,293 I'm in love with you, Greg. 1870 01:19:28,085 --> 01:19:29,501 [Greg] You were the best banana. 1871 01:19:30,501 --> 01:19:32,918 I love you, too. I think. 1872 01:19:34,460 --> 01:19:36,751 [♪ romantic music playing] 1873 01:19:39,751 --> 01:19:40,751 [Hannah/Jess gasp] 1874 01:19:41,210 --> 01:19:42,543 [Hannah] Damn! 1875 01:19:43,501 --> 01:19:45,001 - Okay. - Okay, Greg. 1876 01:19:45,085 --> 01:19:46,126 Wow! 1877 01:19:46,210 --> 01:19:47,710 - That's happening right now. - Wow. 1878 01:19:47,793 --> 01:19:50,751 - Awesome for them. - I'm so scared. 1879 01:19:50,835 --> 01:19:53,126 Hey, h-how did it go with Angie? 1880 01:19:53,210 --> 01:19:54,210 It's pretty bad. 1881 01:19:54,626 --> 01:19:56,085 Oh, no, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 1882 01:19:56,168 --> 01:19:57,168 Yeah. 1883 01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:58,876 We're gonna be friends. 1884 01:19:59,210 --> 01:20:00,210 That's good. 1885 01:20:00,293 --> 01:20:01,376 [Hannah sighs] 1886 01:20:03,543 --> 01:20:05,668 - Prom kinda... - Sucks, right? 1887 01:20:05,751 --> 01:20:06,793 Yeah, exactly. 1888 01:20:06,876 --> 01:20:08,835 Yeah. Um, wanna get out of here? 1889 01:20:09,501 --> 01:20:10,626 Fuck yeah. 1890 01:20:12,001 --> 01:20:14,668 What are you thinking, Maps? Say It Ain't So? 1891 01:20:14,751 --> 01:20:15,751 Mm. 1892 01:20:17,376 --> 01:20:20,126 Definitely both classics, but I want something harder. 1893 01:20:20,543 --> 01:20:21,543 - Mm. - Fuck. 1894 01:20:21,626 --> 01:20:22,751 What? 1895 01:20:22,835 --> 01:20:24,210 We didn't take prom pics. 1896 01:20:24,918 --> 01:20:26,001 Give me your phone. 1897 01:20:26,751 --> 01:20:27,751 Come on. 1898 01:20:32,168 --> 01:20:33,793 [camera shutter clicking] 1899 01:20:33,876 --> 01:20:34,918 Done. 1900 01:20:36,876 --> 01:20:38,710 [indistinct cheering on TV] 1901 01:20:38,793 --> 01:20:40,335 Mm! Bitch, pay attention. 1902 01:20:40,418 --> 01:20:41,460 - It's starting. - Mm! 1903 01:20:41,543 --> 01:20:43,001 - Okay. Are you ready? - Fuck yeah. 1904 01:20:43,085 --> 01:20:45,668 Alright. One, two, one, two, three! 1905 01:20:46,293 --> 01:20:49,710 [♪ The Killers' "When You Were Young" by Julia Lester & AHR playing] 1906 01:21:01,085 --> 01:21:04,710 ♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1907 01:21:05,126 --> 01:21:08,585 ♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1908 01:21:08,668 --> 01:21:12,251 ♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1909 01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:13,668 ♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1910 01:21:13,751 --> 01:21:15,501 ♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1911 01:21:15,585 --> 01:21:18,876 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1912 01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:21,460 ♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1913 01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:26,585 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1914 01:21:30,668 --> 01:21:34,335 ♪ Can we climb this mountain, I don't know ♪ 1915 01:21:34,418 --> 01:21:37,418 ♪ Higher now than ever before ♪ 1916 01:21:37,501 --> 01:21:41,626 ♪ I know we can make it if we take it slow ♪ 1917 01:21:41,710 --> 01:21:43,168 ♪ Let's take it easy ♪ 1918 01:21:43,251 --> 01:21:45,001 ♪ Easy now, watch it go ♪ 1919 01:21:45,085 --> 01:21:48,543 ♪ We're burning down the highway skyline ♪ 1920 01:21:48,626 --> 01:21:50,918 ♪ On the back of a hurricane ♪ 1921 01:21:51,001 --> 01:21:56,085 ♪ That started turning when you were young ♪ 1922 01:21:59,418 --> 01:22:04,210 ♪ When you were young ♪ 1923 01:22:06,751 --> 01:22:09,585 ♪ And sometimes you close your eyes ♪ 1924 01:22:09,668 --> 01:22:13,335 ♪ And see the place where you used to live ♪ 1925 01:22:14,126 --> 01:22:17,460 ♪ When you were young ♪ 1926 01:22:17,543 --> 01:22:21,293 [♪ lively rock music playing] 1927 01:22:38,043 --> 01:22:42,085 ♪ They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet ♪ 1928 01:22:42,501 --> 01:22:45,543 ♪ You don't have to drink right now ♪ 1929 01:22:46,668 --> 01:22:49,251 ♪ But you can dip your feet ♪ 1930 01:22:50,626 --> 01:22:55,085 ♪ Every once in a little while ♪ 1931 01:22:55,168 --> 01:22:58,876 [♪ lively rock music continues] 1932 01:23:16,251 --> 01:23:19,626 ♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1933 01:23:20,085 --> 01:23:23,501 ♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1934 01:23:23,585 --> 01:23:27,085 ♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1935 01:23:27,168 --> 01:23:28,543 ♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1936 01:23:28,626 --> 01:23:30,293 ♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1937 01:23:30,376 --> 01:23:33,960 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1938 01:23:34,043 --> 01:23:36,293 ♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1939 01:23:36,376 --> 01:23:41,376 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1940 01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:43,793 ♪ Talks like a gentleman ♪ 1941 01:23:43,876 --> 01:23:49,710 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1942 01:23:52,335 --> 01:23:56,585 ♪ I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1943 01:24:00,126 --> 01:24:04,751 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1944 01:24:06,418 --> 01:24:09,293 ♪ But more than you'll ever know ♪ 1945 01:24:12,835 --> 01:24:15,001 [♪ song ends] 1946 01:24:16,418 --> 01:24:17,793 ♪ Night-oh ♪ 1947 01:24:18,293 --> 01:24:19,751 ♪ Night-oh ♪ 1948 01:24:19,835 --> 01:24:23,168 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1949 01:24:23,251 --> 01:24:26,626 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 1950 01:24:26,710 --> 01:24:30,043 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1951 01:24:30,126 --> 01:24:33,585 [♪ upbeat electronic music playing] 1952 01:24:37,001 --> 01:24:40,418 ♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 1953 01:24:40,501 --> 01:24:43,751 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1954 01:24:43,835 --> 01:24:47,251 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1955 01:24:47,335 --> 01:24:50,585 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1956 01:24:50,668 --> 01:24:54,085 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1957 01:24:54,168 --> 01:24:57,460 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1958 01:24:57,543 --> 01:25:00,918 ♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 1959 01:25:01,001 --> 01:25:04,210 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1960 01:25:04,293 --> 01:25:07,626 ♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 1961 01:25:07,710 --> 01:25:11,001 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪